apple tarts and strolls along the river
also available on AO3
summary: “In Jannart’s opinion, Niclays needs to take a break.”
tags: fluff, markets, the grumpy old gay isn’t old yet (but he is grumpy), angst after the second cut
word count: 1140
———
“Come on, you have to take a break.”
Niclays was perched on his seat, hunched over as he prodded something that lay on the table in front of him. Jannart did not know what it was, and he had a feeling he did not want to find out.
“I’m working, Jan.”
Jannart crossed his arms, shifting his weight as he gave Niclays a pointed look. “You’ve been ‘working’ for hours now, Clay.”
Niclays ignored his snipe. “And I will only work longer if you keep distracting me.”
Jannart let himself fall onto the sofa. He stared up at the ceiling and bought a hand to his forehead as he moaned. “You are killing me, Clay.” He sighed dramatically. “Whatever must I do without having every second of your time?”
Niclays did not fall for his dramatics. “I don’t know about your situation then, but I would be able to work. Without, you know–” he carelessly twisted his hand–“you constantly interrupting my focus and wasting that oh so precious time of mine you’re after.”
Jannart gasped. “Rude!”
Niclays shrugged. “You know I’m not one for the useless politeness and etiquette you learn at court.”
Sitting up, Jannart smiled. “And I love you for it.”
“Well you’ll show me that you love me by leaving me to work. Alone. In silence. At least one of the two.”
Jannart pushed himself upwards from the sofa. “But you need to take a break.” He wrapped his arms around Niclays’s, who struggled against his sudden bounds. “You’ll be able to focus better then. Working for hours on end is not good for you. Or your concentration, for that matter.” Niclays did not seem wholly convinced. To persuade him, Jannart pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Please. For me?”
Niclays threw his hands up (for as far as that was possible). “Okay, okay,” he gave in. “But only as long as I can go back to my analysing within the strike of the clock.”
“Then I will make that my mission,” Jannart said, and he pulled Niclays along.
———
Brygstad’s Sunday Market was in full swing; bustling with people, rich with heavy smells and vibrant colours. Some people had decorated their roofs in preparation of the upcoming High Summer feast. Garlands with painted ceramic fruits were strung along stalls and houses, deep red cherries and dark purple plums.
Jannart pulled Niclays by the arm along the stalls, laden with all kinds of things: carefully crafted wooden figures, soft golden peaches, jewelry embedded with gemstones, sweet pies and savoury pasties in all imaginable flavours. As they strolled past, Jannart nicked a tart from a pastry stand decorated with woodvine, casually throwing a few coins on the counter.
“Here,” he said as they strolled along the river. He held his hand underneath Niclays’s chin, and the pastry in front of his mouth. “Taste.”
Niclays was not going to refuse. He took a tentative bite of the tart, and hummed as the sweet flavour spread through his mouth. “Hmm…” He savoured the taste. “Apple?” he guessed.
“You are correct, sir.” Jannart winked.
“I am naught but a simple alchemist,” Niclays protested, though his eyes wrinkled at the sides. “You are the high-born gentleman here.”
“Gentleman, maybe.” Jannart shrugged. “But a knight is clever, and you are the smart one here.”
Niclays nodded. “That’s fair. I am the smart one out of the two of us.”
Jannart laughed. “You don’t even try to deny it!”
“Modesty is for those who are insecure.” He shrugged. “I am not.”
Jannart raised an eyebrow.
“You are intelligent too, don’t worry.” Niclays waved him off. “But I’m just smarter.”
Jannart laughed. An honest and hearty sound. Niclays could listen to it all day. Well, as long as it wasn’t directed at him.
They continued walking, until Jannart spotted something. “You’ve got…” He stopped Niclays and put his hand up to his face. He wiped away a crumb that had stuck to the corner of his mouth.
“That tickles,” Niclays mumbled, trying to keep his mouth as still as possible.
“You say that as if it is my problem,” Jannart retorted. Finally, he finished. “There you go. A clean mouth.”
Niclays raised his eyebrow. “Why does it matter if it’s got crumbles?”
Jannart winked, and dropped his voice so only Niclays could hear. “Because I don't want to kiss a dirty one.”
Niclays snorted. “You say that if that’s my problem.”
Jannart narrowed his eyes as he realised Niclays had repeated his words. “Do you dare use my own words against me?”
“I believe I just did, good sir.”
Jannart threw his head back and laughed. “It’s ’my lord,’ remember?”
Niclays waved him off. “Details, details.”
They continued strolling along the river. Niclays’s features were relaxed with a smile. Right there, right then, everything felt alright. His lover was beside him. They laughed and talked, and ate apple tarts until the sun started to paint the sky in colours that resembled the petals in the flower garden at the Duchy of Zeedeur. And when they returned home, where no one could see them, they kissed and embraced one another until they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
———
It was days like those he often thought of when he once again drowned himself in wine. When he sat on the mats in his house in Orisima, hunched over as he let the grief take over, drenching his soul in sorrow. When he thought of the times he and Jan had shared, happy and gullible. Unknowing of the times that would come, their minds foolish and drunk on each other.
Niclays wished he had appreciated it more then. That he’d taken in those moments like the wine he drank so greedily. Now, all he had were memories like these, worn by time like they were sand gentle waves lapped at, taking grain by grain until there was nothing left. An agonising death, it seemed to Niclays. What is a mind when there is nothing left? He hoped he would not waste away like that. It would be unbearable. Especially to a man like him, who clung unto his memories as if they were the fabric of his sanity.
On nights like these, he thought of days like those. When he stifled his tears with his pillow, if only not to scream in agony. When he thought of what was taken from him, and what he had taken from others. When he thought of Jannart, of the times they had laughed, the times they had cried, the times they had stumbled through the world like only teenagers could, blithe and childish. And how he would never once experience that again. How Jannart would never experience anything at all. Not anymore.
And he cried himself to sleep, reeking of wine and sweat and tears, weeping,
“Oh Jan. How I miss you so.”
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