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#next thing u know u WILL be writing fucked up fanfiction about a middle aged alcoholic

babygirlgiles · 6 months

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just finished a 30k draft of a fic about haymitch fucking abernathy. can someone please euthanize me?

#euthanasia? wow that's just like in my haymitch fic when *a government sniper takes me out*#it's about cycles of violence it's about baring witness it's about memory #it's about the line between victimization and complicity being blurred it's about funeral rites #it's about the carceral state of psychiatric care in the US it's about learned apathy #it's about houses because it's always about houses with me for fucks sake #and. most importantly. it's about geese <3 #i feel like that 'sorry i havent been posted about bts i started mood stabilizers' meme bc I wrote this in like ? 2 weeks?#And after about 25k words i realized that I'd accidentally fucked up my meds for like at least a week?#maybe more? and was like. oh. well that explains that. but by that point i was already so deep i figured i might as well finish it #and here we are #let this story be a warning to you all that if you fuck up the medication that treats your ptsd #next thing u know u WILL be writing fucked up fanfiction about a middle aged alcoholic #this is deeply embarrassing but what is tumblr if not the space to retroactively document my near-miss with a breakdown

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letthefrogsbe · 3 years

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remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry.

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!

#hope this is marketable??#sort of just wanted to share my 4 am writing tbh #it doesn't make sense just go w it #parkner #peter parker #harley keener

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n3onguts · 4 years

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won’t you stay the night? | timothée chalamet x oc

this is my shameless plug for my original fanfiction series, called “Won’t You Stay The Night?” (click the underlined title!), available on wattpad! it’s my attempt at a more serious piece analyzing love in the modern age, but, let me be clear, it is not a love story.

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although i’m super inspired by timothée’s actual persona in writing this story, i still make use of my creative freedom to depict him and other characters as i wish.

i’m uploading the first chapter on tumblr, as a sample for all of you.

i hope you take a chance on my writing and end up enjoying it. if you do, please send some love my way by checking out the full story on wattpad and voting/commenting on the story or following my profile there for updates on chapters. constructive criticism is also appreciated! thank you all & have a good day <3

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CHAPTER 1

I want to admit something.

I couldn't stop thinking about you after the first time we met.

Let's not get it twisted — I am not an obsessive, you know that. I'm quite the opposite, actually. But there was something about you that stuck with me, something about you that turned me into the fawning schoolgirl type.

No, I didn't doodle our combined names over and over in my notebook or meticulously study your class schedule so that I could 'coincidentally' bump into you, but I felt just as crazy.

The night we met — I hope you remember, this was in the winter of 2017 — you had this easy-does-it charisma going for you, a kind of warmth that attracted others, something impossible to replicate. And I knew, from the first second we made contact, that you were the stuff legends were made of.

You came late to Eli's housewarming thing, rose-tinged on your nose and cheeks after rushing through New York's cold to get to her place. This was back when she and Harry were still together, back when she still felt alive. Crazy what heartbreak can do to you, huh?

I spotted you, from the corner of my eye, run in through the door and slam it shut, trying to escape the harshness of late November's blizzards. Snow fell from the sleeves of your coat and melted on the floor. You caused a small puddle to form in Eli's entryway, but she didn't care, she went to hug you anyway.

This was before everything hit. Before you were being mobbed by paparazzi, before you were a regular with the A-lister crowd, before your rapid, organic transformation from 20-something, indie-movie nobody to the Next Big Thing™ — back when we had a semblance of normal and you and I could walk in the humdrum of it all.

There was never any stopping the inevitable prospect of your success. I felt it boiling the first time I saw you on-screen, a weekend before we met, as Kyle in Ladybird, and for every subsequent role after that.

There has always been something about you. And I'd make a list, if I could — your eyes, your manic energy, the way you make every single person you came across feel as though they are the most interesting person in the world: all of the above and so much more.

When you were introduced to me, I'll be honest, I played it cavalier on account of me thinking you were cute. We said our customary "nice to meet you's" and you asked about what I did. I told you I was a film major at Columbia, that I had recently seen your movie. You looked sheepish, I remember, and said, "Ladybird? Ladybird's not my movie. It's all Greta. She masterminded it all." I praised your performance anyway and you laughed, something soft and warm that made my insides flutter like birds, and got even redder (if that was possible), waving away my compliment like you weren't used to admiration.

We talked only a little bit more over the course of the night, and after, I remember hitting myself for not making a better impression on you. Three days later, however, and I got a message from an unknown number. Yours.

It read, "hey nat, it's timothée! not sure if u remember me but we met at your sister's dinner the other night. i hope it's okay that i got your number from her. this is me shooting my shot and wondering if you'd like to get a coffee sometime and get to know each other a bit more? hope to hear from u soon :)"

And just like that, you somehow turned me into a lovesick middle-schooler, squealing over a text.

You've always had the rare ability to do that — make me go from bared teeth and sharpened claws to wanting to be easy, simple, all the opposites of electric and extreme.

And I'll tell you my secret now, the one I always used to refuse to admit — out of pride, I suppose, and fear that once I did, everything else I felt about you would follow out — but here it is, finally, after all this time: I feel so goddamned lucky to have met you, to have known you and loved you.

Too little, too late, is what I've learned. I held back all this love like it was vomit, and now, with nowhere to go, it's stuck as the lump in my throat, emptiness in my chest, water in my eyes.

We were both so fucking bad at this, weren't we?

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kinktae · 4 years

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I’m so proud of you for not only finishing the masterpiece that is Bitchin *chef kiss* but also getting the final chapter out when you were hoping. Every little win should be celebrated so make sure to give yourself some credit x

bitchin 10 asks (finally!)

thefouranemoi said: just finished bitchin! it was soooooos soooooooooo good! im a sucker for a really good slow burn but this wasn't dragged out or overly dramatic. it was perfect and im so glad y/n and jk have each other. thank you for such a series!

sadlemonboy said: i read bitch’n 10 on the bus and was trying so hard to just not cry. i was so good i love it so much. just like thank you

Anonymous said: WHAT'S WITH YARA AND TAE??? ARE THEY TOGETHER??? WILL WE EVER KNOW???

Anonymous said: Buttt just out of curiosity what happened with Yara and Taee, did they became fvckbuddies or smth

forvever-ddaeng said: STOP IM FUCKING SAD ITS OVER :( WHEN I READ “I SLEPT WITH ERIK” I WANTED TO STAB MY EYES OUT LIKE WTF BUT THE PAPER WAS HONESTLY SO FUCKING CUTE IM SO HAPPY WITH HOW THIS TURNED OUT I LOVE YOU AND YOUR BRAIN 🥺 p.s. do you think you’d ever do a drabble or epilogue where we get more of yara and tae? Totally cool if you don’t want to I was just wondering

O.O

Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 10 WAS SO GOOD!!!! I WAS CRYING LAST MIGHT, THINKING THAT Y/N AND JK WERE JUST GOING TO PART WAYS,,,,HEKDHBFKD FUCKIN HAD ME SCARED. OMG SUCH A GOOD SERIES!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE.

Anonymous said: AHHH I LOVED BITCHIN SO MUCH!!! This has always been one of my favorite fics right from the beginning and probably will always be one of my favorites. You did such an amazing job. I’m sad Bitchin era is over but I’m excited for whatever era that will be next:) Thank you for writing this, ILY

Anonymous said: THANK U FOR BITCHIN IT WAS AMAZING

Anonymous said: Bitchin was one wild ride 😭😭 I loved it and can’t wait for more of your rewind series 🥺💕💕

Anonymous said: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜😩😩😩😩- my reaction to bitchin final (for now)

Anonymous said: REST IN PEACE BITCHIN AAAAKAAKK.,?!@ FOREVER IN MY HEART GOD DAMMIT I CANT STOPCRYING ARE U HAPPY ROSE DID U LIKE CRUSHING MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS OIOOHNMY GOD 😭😭😭😭

jessiejellybean said: The only thing I can say about bitchin finale is GAJSOSLALHSISSAOWLLANSHSJAKA SERIOUSLY ITS SO GOOD THIS SERIES AS A WHOLE IS UNBELIEVABLY GOOD 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND

Anonymous said: bitchin was so good😭 i am BEYOND devastated knowing that ill no longer be getting notifs on another update🥺it was so fun to be a part of this journey consisting of having to anticipate for another part to be posted for as long a month! but never have i regretted any second of waiting bcs the result came out so well written and interesting u might as well make it into a hard copy or a movie and get paid loads🤩 keep up the good work❤️

Anonymous said: Funnily enough, you were the first EVER bts blog that I followed because I thought you were funny as hell. Then, you posted part 1 of bitchin and on god I swear I signed my life away for bitchin!jk 🤡. I've officially lived through an era 🥺🥺. I'll miss them but I'll always be the biggest yaraxtae whore 🥵💦 -♒

sydney--chan said: This might sounds totally stupid or whatever, but bitchin' means a lot to me and I'm so happy that you decided to share it with us. Not to get all sad n shit but I started reading this during a really rough period in my life. This story allowed me to forget about all the stuff that was going on, even for just a little bit. This story means so much to me and seeing it end is like making me 😭😭😭 this is the perfect story and I love you and thank you for creating such a beautiful story

Anonymous said: THAT WAS SO GOOOOOOOD the way u wrote about jungkook’s feelings tugged at my heartstrings like my heart physcially legitimately hurt ur writing was so spot on!! all the details!! Totally worth staying up even though i have class tm

Anonymous said: miss rose i just wanted to stop by and say thank you for always giving us such masterpieces. as a jk whore (ot7 whore in general but ya know) bitchin was just *chefs kiss* i literally looked forward to Sundays bc I knew there was a chance a new chapter would be posted lol. I am sad to see bitchin end but am also suuuuper excited to support your new fics and anything else you come out with. you’re the best. love ya 💕

Anonymous said: Bitchin' 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'm going to say this for the umpteenth time... IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. It's one of the best fanfictions out there and I'm gonna re-read it at least five more times. Thank you so much for blessing us with this bounty! Take care! 💜💜

koru-rhi said: I should really be asleep but I had to finish Bitchin & I went back and reread it from the beginning to the end and I just want you to know how much I loved it! It was a beautiful smuttyfluffyangsty ride and I can’t wait to read more of your writing! I totally lost it at Everything I Didn’t Say 😫 btw.

Anonymous said: Wow bitchin is over... what is there to look forward to now on this app :(

Anonymous said: I AM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE ALL CRYING I CNA IT THE END DNDMSM MY POOR HEART. AGHHHH SNAMAMA PLEASE,WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME. YOU ARE KILLING ME. I DON'T KNOW IF I AM SAD OR HAPPY OR BOTH.

Anonymous said: UGH! bitchin 10 was amazing *chef’s kiss* I sobbed, I felt their earnest love for each other. A real roller coaster just like my emotions rn. Ngl I sound like a middle aged white mom giving a book review 💀 anygays I just wanted to say that I love ur stories and they’re always so well written

betysotelo18 said: Bitchin'...has me in tears! For some reason I thought this was going to have smut...Who needs smut! This was PERFECT! The damn piece of paper made tears roll down my cheeks! I loved every single chapter. Thanks for sharing

deewhalien21 said: Waiting bitchin part 10 was hell, couldn’t imagine living without them now😔 I’m going to miss them, like a lot. And thank u for good memories with these people mam, thank u for making me experiencing heart break that I could never have. I’m waiting another great stories❤️😔

lalumaia said: That was just perfect, Rose. Thank you, I love you

Anonymous said: hi, bitchin was soooo good and every time you uploaded i felt so happy and excited for the next one, thank you for all your work!

Anonymous said: when i saw the warning said “angst” i was so worried they wouldn’t end up together :( thank you for this rose this was such a beautiful story and experience!!! love u lots angel

Anonymous said: ROSE HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO GOOD !!!!!!!!

unknowntalesx said: ROSE IM CRYING WHAT THE FUCK I LOVED THAT SO MUCH MY HEART WAS BEING SQUEEZED AND TORN AND I HAD/HAVE LITERAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE

Anonymous said: OMG CANT BELIEVE BITCHIN IS OVER 😭😭 i loved everything from the beginning till the end 💜 THANK U FOR WRITING SUCH AMAZING STORY

Anonymous said: On god bitchin is the best series I’ve ever read on this app. The ending was great too! Just sad that it’s over :( thanks for writing it

Anonymous said: FAM YOU GOT ME CRYING IN THE CLUB WITH BITCHIN PT. 10! I absolutely adore your work so much and Bitchin was absolutely beautiful and so fantastic to read. I love it and you so much! Thank you for giving us something so beautiful ❤️ P.S. now take a long break girl because you deserve it

Hi friends! I can’t even begin to explain how much every single comment/like/reblog/ask in regards to bitchin has meant to me

#ask

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obsidiancreates · 4 years

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Old Writing Part Two: Electric Boogaloo

Yeah so uh here’s the “Fandom School” one.

This one has not been seen by even myself since like... October of 2016.

Oh jeez. That’s so long ago. Fuck time.

So this is... the whole story. Each Chapter was super short, the first three are under 400 words, so I just stuck ‘em all in here.

This one... is from 12 year old Sid. Yup. Little baby Sid.

It is bad. I’m warning you now. But perhaps, entertaining. At the very least, a good example of being able to grow and improve with enough practice.

Chapter One: Fangirlish

Abby shouted as she hit the floor. Her brother came running in, a look of worry on his face.

"What was that thud?" he asked.

"I laughed to hard while watching Venturiantale and fell off the bed."

Her brother face-palmed.

"Come on, Jeremy. Don't face-palm. They're funny!" Abby said with a grin.

"They're all you think about! You really need to stop obsessing. "

Abby gasped and looked at him like he just asked her to eat a smelly boot. "How could you say such a thing! Plus, they're not all that I think about. I also think about Doctor Who, and Star Wars, and Tolkien stuff, and Percy Jackson, and My Little Pony, and Monster High, and Warriors. "

Jeremy sighed. "Those are all....what do you call them? Fandoms?"

"Indeed. However, I am obsessed with them because they are beautiful. They are fabulous in ways you do not understand, mortal. Be gone!" Abby cried. She grabbed the ballpoint pen she took with her everywhere and uncapped it. "Be gone, or else you shall face the wrath if Riptide! Wait, Riptide can't harm mortals."

Jeremy sighed again and left the room, muttering about Abby being weird.

Abby went back to her video, laughing her butt off. After she finished it she went and read some Percy Jackson fanfiction. She was deeply absorbed in a very interesting fanfic when her alarm went off. It was time. She got up off her bed and went over to her desk.

She sat down and took out her notebook. She put on some music, written by Venturian of course, and began writing. She was writing a fanfic about Doctor Who.

"Abby, there's someone here to see you!" her mom shouted. Abby sighed, but went downstairs anyway.

She entered the living room to find a girl around her age sitting on the couch. She had blond hair with blue streaks and green eyes. She was wearing a t-shirt that said 'Fandom U' on it.

"Hello Abby, "she said with a grin, "I hear you're quite the fangirl."

Chapter Two: A Fellow Fan

Abby was a little creeped out. Who wouldn't be if a girl you had never met before was sitting in your living room saying she had heard about you?

The girl seemed to notice that Abby was weirded out, and spoke again. "My name is Bell, by the way."

"Bell? Who names their kid Bell?"

Bell laughed. "My mom's favorite movie is Beauty and the Beast. Anyway, you're a fangirl, are you not?"

"Yeah, kinda. And by kinda, I mean totally." Abby said. She was still a bit creeped out, but Bell seemed friendly enough. "Why do you ask? More importantly, how the heck did you hear about me? That's kinda creepy, considering this is the first time I've ever seen you."

Bell smirked. "So you're asking to know my secret?" She said the last part in a creepy voice.

"Wait, you watch Venturiantale? Awesome! But, could you at least answer my first question?"

Instead of responding, Bell handed Abby a piece of paper. It looked like a letter you would get from school. "Here, read this. If you decide you want to attend, just call the number at the bottom of the page." With that Bell left, humming a tune Abby recognized as the theme of Rohan.

She went back up to her room with the paper and began reading it. At the top it said, in big, bolded letters, Fandom U.

That's what Bell's shirt said.

As she read the paper her eyes widened.

Dear Whom It May Concern It has come to our attention that you are a massive fangirl. We are pleased to announce that you have been accepted into Fandom U. All supplies we be provided upon arrival, should you choose to attend. Please note that some fangirls can be dangerous if you speak negatively about their fandom, and the school is not responsible for any injuries should you be insensitive enough to do so.

Sincerely, The faculty of Fandom U

Excitement came over Abby. "I'm going to Fandom U!" she screamed happily.

Chapter 3: Belonging

A few weeks later, Abby was all packed and ready to go. She had called the school and arranged everything. She was sitting at the bus stop, waiting for her transportation. She bounced her leg up and down, a nervous habit of hers. Finally a bus labeled 'Fandom U' arrived. The doors to the bus opened, and Abby couldn't help but stare at the driver.

"Well, get in!" the driver said through his mask. He was dressed in a full on Stormtrooper cosplay. As Abby stepped onto the bus, she wondered how he wasn't being baked alive in the heat.

She discovered that each row represented a different fandom. She took a seat in the Doctor Who section because it, somehow, had more room then the other sections. The bus started up, making the same sounds the T.A.R.D.I.S makes. Abby stared out at her hometown, feeling excitement at what lay before her. She leaned back in her seat, humming fandom songs. Normally people would look at her like she was crazy, but instead everyone joined in, humming with her.

She had found where she belonged, and she loved it. The whole bus ride was filled with fan theories, discussions about characters, and tons of references. It was the most fun Abby ever had!

After what seemed like only minutes, they had arrived. Abby looked up at the building in front of her in awe.

It was enormous, like a castle. Above the door there was a huge sign reading 'Welcome to Fandom U!'. The building was shaped in an unusual way. So unusual that Abby wasn't even sure what shape it was. The outer walls were painted with so many fandom symbols that Abby had a hard time seeing anything else.

"Abby!" a voice called. Abby turned around to see Bell running towards her. "Abby, great news! They made me your escort!"

"Escort?"

"Well, yeah. It's a huge school. Plus it's your first day. I'm here to show you around!" Bell said.

She looked at Abby's face, which was still a face of awe. Bell grinned and said "Abby, welcome to Fandom U!"

Chapter 4: Orientation

"This place is amazing!" Abby said. She looked over at Bell, who seemed just as excited as Abby felt.

"Wait until you see the inside," Bell said. She started walking and motioned for Abby to follow. Abby grinned and walked with her into the school.

The inside was more amazing than the outside. The entrance was decorated with hundreds of pieces of fandom merch from hundreds of different fandoms. Abby noticed a T.A.R.D.I.S replica, a statue of a cave troll from The Lord of the Rings, a replica of Luke Castilian's sword Backbiter, and what appeared to be a statue of Papa Achachalla.

As she and Bell continued to wherever they were headed, Abby took in everything she could. The halls were each themed around a different fandom. There was a Doctor Who hall styled like the inside of a Dalek spacecraft, a Narnia hall styled like the Pevensy's castle, a Lord of the Rings hall styled like the halls of Rivendell, and a Venturiantale hall decorated with the channel's colors and each of the siblings emblems, among many others.

The classroom doors were all shut, so Abby didn't get the chance to see inside. She followed Bell to a large room resembling a theater.

"Welcome to the auditorium! This is where all the assemblies are held, as well as the school plays!" Bell said. She led Abby over to the very middle row and took a seat. She motioned for Abby to sit next to her, which is just what Abby did.

"This room is huge! How many students are there?" Abby asked.

"I'm not sure. A few hundred, maybe. Possibly more," Bell answered. "Oh, orientation's starting! We better stop talking. "

All the other students had sat down while they were talking. They all went quiet as a lady walked up on stage. "Greetings, students! I am Miss Silnet, your headmistress," she announced. Abby was shocked. The lady definitely wasn't dressed like a headmistress. She wore a camp Half-blood t-shirt underneath a black sweatshirt, a pair of jeans with fandom references doodled all over them, and a pair of plain red sneakers. Her ginger hair was pulled into a loose braid with bits of silver weaved in. She couldn't have been older than thirty, yet was still clearly a fangirl.

"Welcome to Fandom U! I'm sure some of you new students are curious as to what the U stands for. Most people think it means university. However, a university is a collage, and here all ages of fans are welcome. The U in fact stands for United. We are all united under our love of our fandoms! Join me as I say the school's pledge," she said. She put her hand on her heart and began the pledge, with many returning students saying it with her.

To be obsessed For all our lives, To value the next part Over the next school test. To love those who do not love back, To stalk them on the Internet. To unite as one Under the fandom sun.

Abby looked around her, thinking about how all these people had similar interests, habits, preferences, possibly even crushes as her. She realized that they truly were united in their love of fandoms. She could tell this was going to be her best school year ever.

Chapter 5: Classes

After orientation Bell lead Abby to her dorm. The room had two beds, two dressers, two closets, two trashcans, two desks, two bookshelves, and, to Abby's surprise, two TVs. There was a dark blue couch in front of each TV, the bedding was purple on both beds, and at each desk there was a chair made of oak with dark green built-in cushions. There was a large window in the middle of the wall leading outside, with a view of the huge field behind the school. In front of the window was a kitchen, complete with all the cooking utensils you could ever need. On both sides of the room there was a private bathroom with a shower, sink, medicine cabinet, mirror, and, of course, toilet.

"This room is amazing!" Abby marveled.

"It gets better. Guess who your dorm mate is. Me!" Bell said. Abby was very happy to hear that. Despite having only known Bell for a short time, the two seemed to be best friends. Plus, Bell was the only person Abby actually knew!

Abby then noticed the large boxes sitting by the desks. They were labeled School Supplies.

"So, which side do you want?" Abby asked Bell.

"Hm. The right side, I think."

"Okay!" Abby said. She set down her luggage, which she had been hauling around all day, on her bed. She walked over to her desk and opened the box.

Inside was everything a fangirl could need. There was a laptop, about a dozen brand new books, some notebooks, some pencils, some pens, a spare phone charger for both Apple and Android brands, a charger for the laptop, an extra pillow in case of a feels attack, a sketchbook for fanart, colored pencils, and many course books for class.

She closed the box, not feeling like unpacking it. Her eyes fell on some paper on her desk. She picked it up and asked Bell, "What's this?"

"It's a list of all the different classes you can take. In this school you get to choose all your own classes! What you do is pick your five main fandoms, then pick two classes per fandom. Later one of the teachers will come to collect it. They enter it into a computer, which then devises a schedule," Bell explained.

"Oh. Thanks!" Abby said. She turned her attention back to the paper. On the first page were five spots to write her fandoms. She thought for awhile, then chose Doctor Who, Percy Jackson, Venturiantale, Star Wars, and Warriors.

She turned to the next page, which had a list of the different classes for each fandom. She read over all the options, then chose the ones that interested her most.

Abby's choices:

Venturiantale: Tale Fighting, the class where you learn to fight like the Tale characters, and Lore 101, the study and attempt to make sense of VT lore.

Percy Jackson: Demigod Combat, the class where you learn how to fight like a Demigod, and Camp Cooking, the class of learning to cook the meals they eat at camp.

Doctor Who: A Study of Time, the class on understanding how time works, and Regeneration History, the study of the Doctor's personal history.

Warriors: Knowing Your Herbs, the class on healing methods the clans use, and Warriors Speak 101, the study of Warriors phrases and words.

Star Wars: Understanding the Force, the study of what the Force is as well as how it is used, and Dark vs Light, a debate class studying the pros and cons of each side in an attempt to find out which one is truly better.

Abby finished filling out the paper and looked over at Bell, who appeared to be doing the same.

Abby and Bell spent the rest of the night unpacking. Abby discovered that the closest was filled with fandom clothes, as well as the dresser. "How did they know my size?" she asked, a tad creeped out.

"Your mom had to put it on your admission papers."

"Oh."

Just before Abby went to bed there was a knock at the door. The teacher had come by to collect the class papers. After the girls had handed them over they got into bed. Bell seemed to fall asleep pretty quick, but Abby stayed up for hours,unable to sleep at the anticipation of the next day.

And then I never wrote Chapter Six. I guess she overslept, huh? Heh.

#my old writing #Whaaat no Abby's not a self-insert named after my favorite Monster High character #Psssh that's- that's crazy talk

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eddie--kaspbrat · 6 years

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Piece by Piece

WhY am I posting this on here when I post it on Ao3 iDK But YEAH

Richie/Eddie fanfiction u H u Totally listen to this to make the immersion better

Warnings: Richies shitty parents, alcoholism (Richies mom), parent death, adoption.

Description: Super fluffy tooth rotting sweet, with a little angst, but mostly just Richie and Eddie lovin g each other so much........

" But piece by piece he collected me Up off the ground but you abandoned things And piece by piece he filled the holes that you burned in me At six years old and you know He never walks away He never asks for money He takes care of me He loves me"

Eddie was always patient.

He may be short and feisty, he may have the language that would make a sailor blush, but inside Eddie was patient.

Eddie was kind, understanding and patient. He never complained when Richie would come up to his front door, covered in bruises and mud, snort and tears running down his face. He would just bring him inside and hold him tightly. Eddie would make him a hot drink and wrap him in a blanket, washing the blood away with a warm cloth and whispering how he didn't deserve anything that had happened to him.

Eddie was the only one he trusted to know fully about his family. He had no choice really, they were too close for it to be a secret. Richie remembers calling Eddie that fateful day, his crying making his voice crackly and hoarse as he told him what happened. His father had left the house, leaving only a note saying he hoped Richie's mother would choke on her own vomit, and a lump sum of money.

Eddie was there. He left in the middle of his history lesson and biked all the way over. Richie remembers with a soft smile that Eddie needed his asthma pump as soon as his feet touched the ground. The two of them cleaned the house and got rid of the empty liquor bottles silently, both not knowing what to do. Richie had never mourned for the loss of his father in his life, he wasn't in it enough for that. All he felt was worry. The money would only last so long until his mother had to get a job, and Richie knew deep inside she wouldn't. He'd have to.

Eddie had gotten him his first job. He fixed his curly black hair and straightened his tie, wiping a smudge off his cheek before ushering him inside to the chemist. Eddie was already working there and had recommended him, the next day Richie got a call telling him he had the job.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

Everything Richie had was thanks to Eddie.

He kept Richie strong, he kept him on his feet. Even on the days where he wouldn't get out of bed, Eddie would push and shove to get him up. Even if it resulted in Richie saying some hasty things, Eddie was always there. He always knew when not to push, too. Some days when it was too bad, Eddie would just crawl into bed with him.

It was no surprise to anyone when they officially started dating at the innocent age of seventeen.

At eighteen, they moved out into a ratty little apartment. The two of them vowed to be finished with their parents, and spend their time in a rundown, one-bedroom apartment. To them, it was perfect.

When was nineteen, he found out he was going to be a brother.

His mother was on and off with Richie's father now. She was pregnant now, she was six months along when Richie finally found out. He spent that night yelling on the phone to his father, asking him where was he going to be in this child's life. Richie crawled into bed with Eddie's arms tight around him, crying into his lover's shoulder as his father's words echoed in his mind and heart.

"I don't want this kid, and I never wanted you either! Your mother and yourself can deal with this!"

At twenty years old, Richie had to deal with his mother's death. She died giving birth to his little sister, bleeding out in the hospital moments after. Richie remembered the sorrow in Eddie's eyes as Richie cried into his shoulder. He didn't know what was going to happen. The doctor had come in an hour later. He asked where his sisters father was.

"I wish I knew myself" Richie had snorted between tears. He remembers his heart stop when the doctor said his sister would then be sent for adoption if there were no parents, and Eddie had spoken up before he could say anything.

"We'll take her"

At twenty-one, they finally won custody of his sister, Jennifer Ann Tozier, their father not showing even under court order. She was six months old when she was brought into Eddie and Richie's new home. Mike Hanson had sold his parents summer home to them, even offering to help with the bills until they could get themselves settled.

Richie remembers Eddie and him never holding each other closer than they had that night. They both shed tears as they basked in their love and victory. They had beaten their parents, they were going to give little Jennifer a life where she could have two loving parents to go to. A life Richie was never able to have.

Now Richie is twenty-two, sitting on the porch and watching as Eddie holds onto Jenny's chubby little hands as she starts taking clumsy steps.

"There you go," Eddie crooned softly as she giggled, foots landing heavy on the floor, "You'll have your brother and I running after you in no time!"

Richie smiled from where he sat. They had both agreed that they wouldn't raise Jennifer under the idea that Eddie and him were her parents, but her brother and brother-in-law. They wanted her to learn that you don't need parents to have a real family.

"We have a real fucking pro on our hands, Eds!" Richie announced with a proud grin. He stood up and bounced over to where Jennifer was, causing her to erupt into laughter, "Isn't that right little sis? Just like your big brother! Fantastic at everything!"

"If her first words are swears, I swear to god I will staple your mouth shut for the rest of your life!" Eddie grumbled, quickly holding onto Jennifer's hands a little tighter as she stumbled.

Richie couldn't help but snicker and roll his eyes, "You tell me off for swearing, yet here you are offering a good time!"

The laughter that came from Eddie still caused Richie's cheeks to burn, no matter how long they had been together, Eddie's laugh was always a weakness for him. He pushed his glasses up the bride of his nose bashfully before crouching down to scoop Jennifer into arms.

Her hazel eyes glittered as she looked up to Richie, her chubby little face holding a huge smile as she patted her brothers face. Richie pressed a loud kiss to the top of her head, upon the same mess of black curls that Richie inherited from their mother.

"Come on, lets head inside. It looks like it might start raining, plus it's your turn to make dinner!" Eddie snickered, linking his arm with Richie's free one. They both laughed as Jennifer stuck out her tongue.

It was four months later, and it was Jennifer's second birthday. She had her black hair tied up into two little pigtails and wore a shirt with a shark on it and a purple skirt, and everyone adored her. Especially Bill, who Richie couldn't help but snicker when he saw Bill whisper things to Stan who would blush bright red. It wasn't a secret that Bill wanted kids one day.

Richie had some of his aunties and uncles over as well, the ones that still wanted to keep in touch. Eddie even brought some of his family, and the both of them invited their friends from work. It turned out to be a pretty big gathering, and everyone was having fun. Laughing and dancing and partying with little Jenny.

Richie though, Richie was nervous. He felt the satin box heavy in his jacket pocket, the weightless item feeling like a brick. Bev was close by him, squeezing his hand every time his foot would start tapping furiously at the floor. For the past two years he had wanted to marry Eddie. In the last four, he finally saved enough to get a small silver band, a small white diamond embedded in the center. He had also written a song to sing. Mostly for Eddie, but for Ella too. It was a cheesy love song, and he still wasn't completely sure about it, but he was out of time.

What he didn't expect though, was to hear loud knocks coming from the front door. Everyone they invited had showed up, no one else was supposed to come. His anxiety got to him as he walked over, wondering if any neighbors had complained about the noise.

"Good evening, welcome to the-!

Richie's voice cut off as he looked at the man in front of him. Heavy bags hung under his dark brown eyes, grey hair swept back messily. He wore a black suit, a briefcase in the other. The man looked like he had just come here from work.

He looked like Richie.

"Gregory" Richie spoke curtly to him. His eyes burned with fury as his father coughed awkwardly, "What are you doing here?"

Gregory shifted on his feet while trying to peek over Richie's shoulder, "Hello to you too, son. I'm here to see my-

"She is not your daughter, so don't even think of saying that!" Richie finally hissed, his knuckles going white as he held onto the door, "You leave before you even knew mom was pregnant, you do nothing for us, you weren't even at her funeral!"

His father winced

"Richard, I was working. I'm sorry for your mother, but it was bound to happen with how she drank," Gregory tried to explain, but his voice wavered when he met Richie's eyes, "I... I should have been there."

If Richie could muster any more venom into his voice, he would have, "Yeah, you should have. Now give me one good reason to not kick you out and call the police."

Even Richie was surprised slightly at himself at the threat yet he held himself strong, he could do this. He wouldn't let his father intimidate him anymore.

"… let me see her once, and I'll write a cheque out. Enough to put her into a good school. Please, Richard, then I'll leave you both alone." The man sighed, keeping hazel eyes locked onto Richie's. The same eyes as his little sister.

As much as he wanted to throw his father out, the idea was promising. Eddie and Richie did stress about her education, and having his father pay for that would let them focus on saving for college.

Richie grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose, just under his glasses, "Fine. Stay for as long as you want, but do not let her know you're her father. You'll just confuse her. She only knows me as her big brother, and Eddie as... I dunno what she thinks Eddie is. Eddie is my boyfriend as well, so if you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself."

With that Richie turned around and walked away, letting his father walk himself in. Richie walked straight to the lounge where he saw Eddie and one of his colleagues bitching about another one, snickering and whispering.

Eddie smiled when he saw Richie come towards him, but that bright smile faltered when he saw the lifelessness in Richie's eyes. Their colleague seemed to notice the mood and excused himself to get a drink, leaving the two of them alone.

"Rich, what's wrong?" Eddie murmured when Richie sat next to him, pulling him towards him so Richie could put his head on Eddie's shoulder. Richie sighed and nuzzled under his jaw, enjoying the comforting scent of his boyfriend. Like cake and dish soap.

"My dad's here. He wants to meet Jennifer," Richie stated, feeling Eddie's shoulders tense up underneath his cheek.

"…What did you say?" Eddie murmured, wrapping an arm around Richie's shoulder to hold onto him, grounding the both of them.

"He said he'd pay for her schooling if I agreed, so I did," Richie sighed, closing his eyes tightly, "Eds did I fuck up?"

Eddie cooed and held Richie tighter, pressing a kiss to his curly hair, "No, you didn't fuck up. This is for Jenny's sake, you're an amazing big brother. Just don't be a trashmouth for now, okay?"

Richie couldn't but snicker, leaning up from Eddie's shoulder to meet his boyfriend's warm brown eyes, "No promises there, babe. Now that the devils here, lets... lets cheek this place up a bit, yeah? I'm gonna grab my guitar, bring Jenny over with everyone else."

Even though Eddie looked confused, he agreed and got up from his seat on the couch (not before kissing Richie quickly) and walked towards the garage where everyone was enjoying the music.

Richie's heart was hammering in his chest as he retreated to their room to grab his childhood guitar, his best friend's scribbly signatures still littering the wooden box. It was his second favourite thing, Eddie and Jenny being tied for first.

When Richie returned, he saw Jenny sitting in Eddie's lap, his father a couple spots away. Jenny clapped her hands together when she saw Richie, clapping even faster when she spotted the guitar.

"Rich sing, Rich sing!" She squealed, Eddie hushing her slightly as everyone in the room laughed at her little outburst. Richie smiled and ruffled her hair before sitting down across from them, her eagerness and joy contagious.

"Now," Richie coughed, tuning his guitar as he talked "There was another song I was going to sing, but something kinda showed up, so now I'm going to sing something a bit more...appropriate. This is for my Eddie, and someone else in this room who knows exactly who they are; and for my little sister."

Eddie smiled at Richie encouragingly, mouthing the words 'Go trashmouth' at him with a grin. Richie couldn't help grinning back if he even tried.

Richie took a deep breath and pressed his fingers against the string, finally starting to sing,

"And all I remember is your back Walking towards the airport, leaving us all in your past I traveled fifteen hundred miles to see you Begged you to want me, but you didn't want to,"

Richie saw his father's dive to the ground, and Richie felt slightly proud. Now it was his father's time to listen to him.

"But piece by piece he collected me Up off the ground where you abandoned things, yeah Piece by piece he filled the holes That you burned in me at six years old And you know, He never walks away He never asks for money, He takes care of me He loves me Piece by piece he restored my faith"

Richie's eyes moved from his fathers, to meet Eddie's tear brimmed eyes,

"That a man can be kind and a father could... stay..."

Richie kept singing, his small little audience captivated by his words. Richie was pouring all his emotions into those words. He never dreamed he'd be able to sing this song with his father to hear them, he wrote this song months only after Jenny was born.

Towards the songs last chorus, Richie stood up. Eyes followed him, and his heart pounded. His eyes met onto his fathers, his stare so vicious and cold that he knew his father wouldn't be able to look away.

"Piece by piece I fell far from the tree I will never leave her like you left me And she will never have to wonder her worth Because unlike you I'm going to put her first And you know,"

Richie's eyes started to water as he saw his father's face completely crumble. Maybe now he would realise what he had done.

This wasn't for him though. They broke eye contact, Richie's eyes now looking at Eddie. He looked at those red, puffy eyes. Tears streamed down his freckle dusted cheeks, teeth chewing on his bottom lip to contain himself. He looked at that chocolate brown hair, smooth with a slight wave in the locks. Sunshine made his hair glow like a halo around him, making him look somehow warmer than he already was.

Richie felt his own tears fall behind his glasses now. He walked towards Eddie, Beverly swooping in to quickly take Jenny from his lap. Beverly and Richie had talked about this, she knew exactly what was about to happen.

"He'll never walk away, He'll never break her heart He'll take care of things, He'll love her And piece by piece he'll restore my faith That a man can be kind and a father should be... great"

Richie choked on his last word as he dropped to one knee, putting his guitar on the floor as he took Eddie's shaking hands in his own. He squeezed them tight.

He held onto his hands as tight as Eddie had held his through all those years.

"Edward Kaspbrak," Richie started softly, sniffling when Eddie breathed a laugh at his full name, "Eds, Eddie Spaghetti, my little Spageddie, God knows what I'd be without you. You've been my best friend all my life, you've grown with me and support me through every little piece of shit that was thrown at us."

Richie had to take a breath as his voice started to break again when he heard a hiccupped sob coming from the man in front of him.

"Even when we'd yell and fight with each other, every single time you wouldn't leave without kissing my forehead. When I was younger, I thought this was fucking stupid, but now I see why you did it. You wanted to show that I wouldn't leave, that you wouldn't run off like everyone else in my life."

Eddie's fingers ran through Richie's black curls, before lowering down to hold onto Richie's face so tenderly. His thumb brushed across his pale cheek to wipe the tears that fell past his thick glasses.

"You helped me become the man I am today. We've been together through thick and thin, and now I know we won't ever be apart. We'll be a family, You, Jenny and I. So, Edward Spaghetti Kaspbrak, will you do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with little ol' me?"

The room burst into claps and shrieks of excitement as Eddie wailed 'Yes!' And tackled Richie onto the floor. They both laughed and held onto each other so tightly, their lips pressed together in a passionate kiss. Neither of them would ever getting over kissing each other. Once their lips parted, Richie sat up and held Eddie in his lap, foreheads pressed together.

"I love you so much, Eds" Richie murmured to him, kissing Eddie again softly.

"I love you more, Rich," Eddie murmured, stroking his cheeks as he kissed him again, "And I'll be here every day to prove it to you."

When the celebrating was over, Richie held Jennifer tight in his arms. She had her cheek pressed to his shoulder, drooling as she slept. He kissed her forehead as she lowered her into her bed, tucking her in right next to her stuffed teddy. Richie felt the cheque in his pocket, heavy like the ring was. It easily covered Jenny's schooling fees, plus a little extra. His father had written a small note.

"I'm sorry. I hope you and your fiancée are happy together, son. Be well."

He hadn't stayed long after the song.

"Sleep well, little sis," Richie smiled as he flicked the light off with a smile. Closing the door quietly, he turned and saw Eddie waiting for him against the wall. His eyes gravitated towards the silver band on Eddie's finger.

"And how is my lovely, oh so amazing and short fiancée?" Richie chuckled as Eddie walked towards him, the other man looping his arms around Richie's waist. Eddie just rolled his eyes, leaning into the hug as Richie held onto his hips lightly.

"Tired and now annoyed that you called me short," Eddie huffed, taking Richie's larger hand in his. Richie's heart fluttered as their fingers entwined. Eddie wasn't annoyed for long when he saw Richie smile, looking up to meet those dark brown eyes, "So let's go to bed, fiancée. We have a busy few months ahead of us."

#kaidan writes #reddie #Richie Tozier #Eddie Kaspbrak #//parent death #//alcoholism #//adoption #//child abuse #//shit parents #IT 2017

47 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 7 years

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TAGGED BY: The sublime @intheendlessbluewine TAGGING: @somanynugs, @kazechama, @each-uisge-and-glashtyn, @therem-harth, @naevabelle, and anyone else who wishes to do this!

A - AGE: 35. I am a Tumblr old. But actually not all that old. :)

B - BIGGEST FEAR: Lately, death and brain damage. But also being taken hostage and captivity situations. And for some reason the house burning down?

C - CURRENT TIME: 10.59pm

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water

E - EVERY MORNING STARTS WITH: Checking my phone (with my glasses still off) and squinting at my emails, followed by about half a litre of water.

F - FAVORITE SONG: I don’t know, really. But my most listened to song according to Last.FM is ‘Strangled by the Thought’ by Matt Pryor with 597 listens. e.e

G - GHOSTS ARE THEY REAL: Yes. I have complex thoughts about it.

I - IN LOVE WITH: Nature. Clouds. (That’s nature, but they get a shout out). Storms. Gillian Anderson. Eva Green. Mackenzie Davis. *coughs*

K - KILLED SOMEONE: No.

L - LAST TIME YOU CRIED: Oh like today. The Yuri! on Ice soundtrack gets me every time.

M - MIDDLE NAME: Danielle.

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: Oldest of 6. (Four are half siblings).

O - ONE WISH: To survive this surgery and survive it well.

P - PERSON YOU LAST TEXTED/CALLED: My brother. :)

Q - QUESTIONS YOU ARE ALWAYS ASKED: ‘How do I spell that?’ (re: my real last name), ‘What sort of stuff do you write?’ (UhhHHHH), ‘Do you have any books I can read?’ (UMMMM), ‘What sort of art do you do?’ (relief as I show my DeviantArt account), ‘What do you have PTSD for?’ (uhhHHHHHHHH :/).

R - REASONS TO SMILE: So much. So so much. I don’t even know where to start. Life, the universe, everything. Nature, people, animals, music, media, writing, Yuri on Ice, fanfiction lol. I mean I say that fully aware that I have Major Depressive Episodes and I’m on antidepressants but honestly that’s put some things in perspective as have the tumours I’ve got currently, and there’s a lot of reasons to smile, in amongst the chaos and crisis.

S - SONG LAST SANG: Still Life by Suede.

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: About 9.50am today. I needed to sleep in. It’s been a fucking hard week to be honest.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOUR: Black.

V - VACATION DESTINATION: Well. Hopefully Melbourne end of April/beginning of May, and then hopefully Orkney/Scotland/England/Italy at the end of next year. But I’ll get back to you after the surgery, lol.

W - WORST HABIT: Not confiding in other people enough. Especially people I consider friends. And therefore, also being a bad friend.

X - X-RAYS YOU HAVE HAD: Full body. Lol. Full body everything. I have to have full body MRIs every year or two years for the rest of my life. But anyway, I’ve had everything X-Rayed once or twice. I’m more used to CT scans and MRI scans though, even for bone issues.

Y - YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD: Idek where to start. Good ramen. Sushi. Ripe pineapple and peaches. Gelato. Citrus sorbet. Spanish hot chocolate, esp. with chilli. A really good beef and Guinness stew with fresh bread rolls. Crepes with lemon and brown sugar. Pad Thai. Dim sum. A really really good burger, especially unusual combinations like satay chicken or beef / pineapple / bacon. Wedges with sweet chilli sauce. Pickles.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Sagittarius with a Moon in Virgo, Taurus Ascending. Metal Rooster.

#meme #personal #i am a tumblr old #i have been in fandom what feels like forever #but it isn't forever #because i have friends in their 60s #who have been in fandom way way longer :)#if anyone else wants to do this meme #say i tagged you in!#and then tag me #so i can read the responses <3

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prinxiety-logicalitysanderssides · 7 years

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1-97 NOW ITS UR TURN I DONT EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS MY MAIN U GOTTA SUFFER TOO

I. BLOODY. DID. IT. ITS TAKEN ME /TWO DAYS/ BUT I’VE DONE IT @princeyandanxiety and I’m tagging @use-it-ironically Ironi u do it too pls. I was subjected to this after I subjected Bella to this so now u have to.

Btw this is NSFW ( some of it) and mentions suicide/depression cause I went there. There is some serious truth tea in this god damnit. I put thought and love into this. And also memes but mostly LOVE and boredom. I also feel like I forgot to answer a question or two but whatever. This is 97 questions long. And it’s 2818 words.

By the end of this, you will understand that I am a wreck

Ask me things1. What’s your middle name? No.

2. What are you listening to right now? The sound of typing cause I’m not listening to music. Also the sound of my breath and the wind in the trees. V/ relaxing. (( that was yesterday, today I’m listening to MCR and sanders Sides videos at a loud volume on chromecast on my tv))

3. What was the last thing you ate? ¼ of a cup of icing sugar. I ate it out of the measuring cup lmao.

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mum. I do talk to other people, I swear! I’m just not good at phone calls

5. Do you drink? No and I won’t in the future. Lemonade all the way if I have to drink smth.

6. Do you smoke? No and I never ever will.

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? Someone as in??? Random or??. In Randoms I usually notice people’s faces and then clothes, especially if they’re eye catching. I notice memorabilia/fan stuff pretty quickly as well.

8. What is your hair color? Brown but I use hair dye to make it partially blue or purple or red sometimes. It doesn’t work very well unless I bleach my hair and I can’t do that till I’m 16 which sucks. I use hair spray every now and again, I have white hair spray and glitter hair spray, and I used to have blue as well. Glitters my favourite . I also have a full rainbow of hair chalk but my friends and I dropped it at one point during the Hair Incident of Grade Eight which is what I’m calling it now.

9. What is your eye color? Blue/Grey ish. 10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? Nope. My mum says I will if I keep looking at my screen for hours on end though. I don’t want glasses cause my 20/20 vision is serving me well and I like it.

11. Dogs or cats? Rabbits.

12. What’s your favorite animal? Rabbits/see above

13. What’s your favorite television show? Gilmore girls. Hands down the best.

14. What’s your favorite movie? I don’t really have one? Princess Bride, Sound of Music and the Captain America movies. Oh and Heathers.

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? I can’t choose but Alessia Cara comes to mind? Scars to your Beautiful? And MCR. And Panic! At the Disco and Fall Out Boy. I’m an emo nightmare tbh

16. How old are you? Bich no u can guess. I’m a minor tho.

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? No. But I want a girlfriend/datemate ( all the boys my age are awful and the girls/nonbinary people r better)

18. What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual. To keep it simple anyway.

19. What’s your favorite color? Aqua blue/ the green of Australian forests

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? Going up on stage in like,, grade six, for a talent show, that I decided to volunteer for THAT DAY and literally singing which is fine but I kept shuffling not dancing and the other kid I was doing it with was kinda dancing and we fucking sucked. But I’m at a different school half the city away now thank god.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Characters in stories, yeah, but like, I want to be in their universe, with their mind and my mind combined so I’m more them than me but I also remember that I want to give people a piece of my mind and fix the universe and make everyone happy but also have angst before that. I project a lot tbh. Oh well.

22. What were you like when you were a kid? I ran away from the class a lot, a ‘difficult’ and 'problem’ child. I have ADHD.

23. What would your dream house be like? Huge, I would want to have lots of pets and secret rooms and a big library and have it surrounded by country side and let scouts have camps near by and stuff

24. What last made you laugh? There were a few things but I forgot damn. But probably my bunnies antics I swear they r ridiculous sometimes( all the time) (( that was yesterday, today its sanders Sides videos again whoops))

25. What is your favorite word ? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) its called a Lenny and I love it

26. What is your least favorite word? Poo. Or moist. Both are awful.

27. What turns you on? Coffee when I wake up

28. What turns you off? Sleeping pills

29. What is your star sign? Aquarius

30. What are your favorite books? TAMORA PIERCE’S 'The circle of Magic ’ quartet and all of its sequels and Tamora Pierces 'The Lionness’ quartet and her 'Protector of the small’ quartet, really, all of her books. Also the Obernewtyn series which is FUCKING AMAZING. ITS BY AN AUSSIE AUTHOR, ISOBELLE CARMODY WHO IVE MEET TWICE AND THEY R SMAZINGSOWNFKEFKWJCKD YES.

31. Do you have any siblings? Only child, suck it.

32. Do you like to dance?Yes, but I’m not a professional or up to date with the latest ~moves~

33. What is your definition of cheating? This is hard cause my definition is in my head but it’s hard to explain. I’m gonna try though.( ACTUALLY I’m gonna come back and write this later) (( lmao I never did go back and write this but it basically depends on what people in a relationship have agreed it to mean bc I’m tired and this is complicated))

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? No I’ve never dated anyone.

35. Do you regret anything? A few things. Not gonna get into them tho. I do regret not working harder in grade seven and eight.

36. Do you have any phobias? Not really no. I hate leeches with a fiery passion and there are spiders next to my shower which I don’t like but other than that, no.

37. Ever broken any bones? No and I’d like to understand what it feels like tbh

38. Ever come close to death? When I walk anywhere cause I’m yes. Does being suicidal back when I was eleven count? And the fact it recurs every now and again? Also

39. What is your religion, if any? I piece together my own world view, based on many philosophies and science.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? I’m going to one rn actually. School counsellor who is great and has lollipops and also let my friends and I play monopoly in her office all lunch. I lost. The bell was about to go so I just flipped the board upside down cause why not? My friends made me clean it up lmao 41. Are looks important in a relationship? Depends

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? I pray I’m more like my mum as my dad is an awful person tbh

43. What is your favorite season? Whichever one I’m not sneezing in/ when it’s warm/ I don’t really have one

44. Do you have any tattoos? No 45. Do you have any piercings? I did have normal ear piercings but they grew over

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? None

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Have you met me

48. Who is your celebrity crush? Thomas Sanders

49. Are you a virgin? Again, have you meet me. YES. Obviously.

50. Do you get jealous easily? Define 'jealous’. I mean, kind of. Not usually.

51. What is your favorite type of food? Pasta.

52. Do you ever want to get married?Depends, I mean, LGBT marriage isn’t legal in Australia for whatever fucking stupid reason ( the reason is homophobic pollies, literally 90% of Australia wants fucking gay marriage goddamnit)

53. Who was your first kiss with? Lmao I haven’t had one

54. Have you ever been cheated on? See above

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? ?'not sure tbh?

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I like meeting people and i have lots of friends but I also need my space. I’m an introvert.

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? After seeing the 'thingu’ video, I hope not. I do believe in other life but not as sentient as us? Well, at least I don’t think we will find any sentient aliens now that we elected trump tbh

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?Be a great dancer?

59. What is your saddest memory? Not today Satan

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe you can find someone aesthetically pleasing at first sight, at first talk, you can like them for their personality. So kind of? But not really. Movie love sucks tho. Unrealistic.

61. Do you believe in soul mates? Kind of. I wish we had a soulmate au irl

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? See above ( yes)

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?I don’t really look at gossip so??? No? They could be talking about me all the time lmao I got bullied from 11-13 years old but that’s different and now I can’t be fucking bothered to listen to bullies

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?Depending on the circumstances. I’m not evil. Very rarely would I ever do that and I have never actually done that.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? . My teachers think I have asbergers(autism) and I agree but my parents don’t . NSFW as hell?? I mean most people would look at my chumb face and think I’m innocent i would guess. . I want a datemate? Like I haven’t really acknowledged that but like every opnow and again this Year and

66. Who are you jealous of? People who get more likes than me

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?Yes, but only if my bed is clean IE It has been washed within the last week. Sometimes I don’t wash my sheets for a month and i don’t want to subject my Rabbit toy to that. She’s thirty-nine years old.

68. How long was your longest relationship? No

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?Half empty, I drank half the water.

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Nsfw fanfiction for sanders sides. Nah, I don’t really know as I’m still in high school I’m in Grade Nine . So like? How would I know? (But seriously pls write more nsfw)

71. Who is your most loyal friend? My best friend Addy? ( she was the one we tried to comb her hair) or you people

72. Are you in a relationship? Ok this is getting annoying

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Come ON.

74. Are you a bad person? Depends. Is the scale puppies to trump or a grumpy cat to trump. Cause I’m in the low-middle of the first scale and at the bottom of the second.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? I wanna fite but I don’t bite and I’m usually just high as a kite.

76. What did you do on your last birthday? Like… nothing. Mum and I have to save money for scout camps ( there’s a big Venture I’m going on at the start of next year, AV2018) and I couldn’t be bothered to have a birthday party when I would have to have one just before or after term starts, my birthday is the 24th of Jan. Usually I have my party like a week after school starts again but I couldn’t be bothered.

77. What is your favorite quote and why? “I’m sceptical that you could, yet intrigued that you may” I got it off a screenshot on tumblr ALSO “What are you looking at?” “ Something Replusive” “I’m not a mirror Karen” from the fanfiction Iris Zero, my fav Hetalia fan fic about Romerica. Also “I’m hella pan with a hella plan” off tumblr.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? I would be a fucking wreck and I’m not gonna think about it.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? If i went back and time and changed smth, i wouldn’t be me anymore, but I would go back and get a proper depression diagnosis bc we knew I had it but I’m a good actor so the doctors couldn’t diagnose the kid who was fucking suicidal great job Australia ANYWAY

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? My mum texted me this morning ( btw I did this ask over a couple days) with 'If you die today would you like the last thing you spent your precious life hours on to be tumblr??’ I responded with 'yes’ to be a bitch and also bc I kinda would? I would get all my friends and all of the food I wanted, write my will, etc. I’d go fucking ridiculous with what I’d do tbh. All the adventurous activities .

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? One time when I was 11, I had a dream I was a princess with a guy servant and a girl lady in waiting/servant and we were all bffs, ( looking normal so far lmao), and then we were getting chased around my kingdom by a guy with a floppy dick which was flopping around like a bendy/wobble pencil. Both friends sacrificed themselves to stop him and made me keep running away lol

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? I don’t know

83. Who were you in a past life? The human embodiment of Anxiety Sanders

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?Lazy sunny days with my mum. Chores and relaxing. Cooking.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Not,,,, really,, see above, I,, haven’t really had any experience with love

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? I don’t think so?

87. If you were the prime minister , what would you do? Fucking Marriage Equality, Safe schools is mandatory, sexual assault/homelessness/youth in crisis support is fucking fixed and improved, Scouts is connected to schools, primary school system revised, improved and fixed, high school system improved, counselling is better overall, science in all grades, maths teaching is improved over all, teachers can get constructive criticism from students and will LISTEN to them. Abuse is redefined as both emotional and psychical and people start to understand that, neurodivergents are fucking accommodated more, same for disabled people. Mental illness are listened to for fucks sake.

88. What is your ideal career? Engineer, scientist, musician, YouTuber, anything that makes me happy and makes people happy and supports people. I also want money tbh so A) i can donate to charity B) i want to transition and all I fucking love memey products.

89. What is your political affiliation?/90. Are you conservative or liberal? Liberal. When I vote, I will weight my options and choose which ever is the least awful tbh. I’m an intersectional feminist meaning I support poc, the wider LGBT+ community, feminism, people with mental illness, neurodivergents and disabled people.

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection?Male doesn’t get periods so u decide

92. Do you like kissing in public? I’ve seen people kiss in public ONCE in my life so like?? Do what you want

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? Unlike my prime minister answer, I’m thinking smaller here : everyone is allowed to transition/get married/ all LGBTAI+ rights are legalised

94. Where would you like to live? Huge house full of secret tunnels and it’s all waterproof and I keep rescue pets and secretly help refugees there so they can get a normal life again. There would be huge libraries. In the countryside as well. Tazmania probably. Or Melbourne in a nice house with my rabbits and datemate/s

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?I’d want to go on a world tour and meet all my mutuals and the people I am fans of.

96. Describe yourself in one word.Chaotic ( good lmao)(( jk every time i take that chaotic/neutral/lawful quiz I get lawful good but lawful good is was I aspire to be and chaotic good is what I am. ))

97. Describe yourself in one sentenceVery. Fucking. Complicated. Wreck. Who Loves All My Mutuals and Friends So Much.

#me #asks #97 question ask

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hardlyfatal · 7 years

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Tag Game

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I was tagged by @azraelgfg.

a - age: OLD. Older still in 2 weeks.

b - birthplace: NYC. South Bronx represent, yo.

c - current time: 11.30am on the dot (when I wrote this line)

d - drink you last had: Ice water. All I ever drink is ice water.

e - easiest person to talk to: My beauteous @technoelfie, angel of my heart.

f - favorite song: Er? Can’t narrow it down. Too many. Favorite song this week:

youtube

g - grossest memory: When my youngest brother had the barfs and lurched down the hall toward me on his way to the bathroom but didn’t make it in time and only my cat-like reflexes helped me avoid a shower of puke. Was still close enough to smell it, though. Good times.

h - horror yes or horror no: Sure. Not especially interested in them, but I can sit through one if needed.

i - in love?: LOLZ no. I have zero patience with that shit. Cuz I’m too busy. Writing about pretend people in love.

j - jealous of people?: Sometimes. I get envious of people who have things they didn’t earn but not of those who did work for what they’ve achieved; them, I just respect and admire.

k - kicking ass??? I had a few rough years in middle school where I struggled to cope with my anger issues. Hadn’t yet learned the unhealthy defense mechanisms I enjoy as an adult: repression, reaction formation, and displacement. I had detention for shit-stirring and ass-kicking every single day of 7th grade. Literally, EVERY day. God, my mother was pissed. Good times.

l - love at first sight or should i walk by again? Depends on the ability for eye-fucking. A good thorough eye-fucking can go far. When it’s not done Tormund-style.

m - middle name: Anne

n - number of siblings: 2 brothers.

o - one wish: To stop writing fanfiction and instead write original shit I can sell so I can go live in Europe near @technoelfie and @asbestosmouth because every day apart from them wilts my soul a little more.

p - person you called last: Director of the state parole board.

q - question you are always asked: When’s my next court date?

r - reason to smile: KITTEHS

s - song you last sang:

youtube

t - time you woke up: 9.15am.

u - underwear colour: Aqua and white daisy print.

v - vacation destination: France.

w - worst habit: Too numerous to list.

x - x-rays: Teeth, lungs, wrist.

y - your favorite food: Cake.

z - zodiac sign: Double Scorpio with moon in Aquarius.

#tag game

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