#never more obvious self insert/confession has existed
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"Separate the art from the artist" is so insulting to the artists too actually (and totally irrelevant to the question of financial support of said art, in the age of pirating). Have you ever seen as artist say who they are is irrelevant to their work? Why are you implying that what we create is so unspecific to us that you can ignore us. You are trying to extend the capitalistic alienation from our labour to something inherently resistant to commodification, as much as the system forces its monetization for artists to live (and I wish all domains stopped alienating production from its producers, but it's particularly egregious for art imo). It’s something given or sold to the public for them to give the meaning they see fit, and you can decide to discard the initial/intended meaning for yourself, but it was still born from the artist and specific to them, created with their intentions motivating it, their biases colouring each and every choice, it is ludicrous to argue it can be totally dismissed. Trying to erase our role is downright offensive and akin to failing to credit properly. Copyright law has many flaws, in the sense that it is ill-equipped to handle the fact no art is ever 100% original and builds off existing elements, but it exists for a reason, so that artists get their due, you better believe corporations would not compensate us if they could. And minimizing our place in creation is the same mindset
I think it’s also tied to the myth we're born this way, given talent from birth and therefore not really the inventor but merely the executor of our art, negating the amount of training that goes into building skills, and the intellectual labor necessary for any creative work (see: ai bros acting like artists are hoarding drawing skills??), as well as the disregard shown for artistic industry workers anytime there's talks of unionizing (see : caring more about their marvel movies/video games releasing early than making sure crunch is avoided). Some people don’t like to think in depth about neither the context of what they consume nor the breathing bodies that make it come to life (and I understand, cause honestly it makes a lot of stuff depressing, be it food, clothes or art, but it'snecessary sometimes), and seem to think an artist’s relationship to a piece of work is over, all ties severed the moment they publish it, when it is a lifelong and everchanging relationship that takes labour to bear
On another topid so much of art is made of collaboration and merging intellectual properties and building off other people’s work i would like to beat up the myth of the lone genius artist or the mastermind director who deserves all the credit for his big brain, all projects would be nothing without the teams making them happen and an artist with no fellow creative friends literally will shrivel up so pls start putting all the people working in artistic fields on an equal footing, financially speaking too, i am begging society to stop disrespecting craftspeople too btw-
#sam speaks#sorry im mad when non artists go 'but it's not an autobiography so it's not about the artist themselves' shut up you know nothing#i can guarantee whoever the protagonist is the creatives found a path to relate to him and gave them to live their own experiences in a way#also people always use that shit to defend awful people or justify them being rewarded#did you know : you can consume art by terrible people without denying it it's called critical analysis#i had a teacher use it for fucking woody allen. when he literally makes movies where he plays the protagonist grooming a 16yo#never more obvious self insert/confession has existed#*relate to them#also like. the cliché of artists being self obsessed isn't exactly wrong let's be honest. there has to be a little bit of thinking highly o#yourself to believe (rightfully because that's the case for everyone) that your self is worth being expressed#so why would you think artists of the most arrogant self centered demographic in society would be humble enough not to insert themselves?#cishet white men write only about themselves and everybody else in their stories is an accesory; written with no empathy or understanding#something somthing refusal to acknowledge the inteligence of the people different to you#anyways. fuck jk and woody allen and polanski and so on and there are too many names#and support artists if you can so we can share art on our own terms#that said i often dislike art made about artists it's so. uninterestingly self centered
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Betting Big
Summary: As the one and only Seo Changbin, you would never think that you would be willing to pay for someone to go out with you. At least not until you met her. To be honest, not even after you met her but here you were now… Agreeing with splitting the money from a bet that you never made… And all this for what? Just to get a chance to make her fall for you
WC: 1,5 K
Genre: Romance, Fluff
AUs: High School, Fake Bet
Pairing: Seo Changbin X Fem! Reader X ???
Rebloggable Masterlist // Main Masterlist // Tag List
Warnings: none
Notes: This is in “Changbin’s POV” although written as Self-insert
This is going to be a miniseries, I guess. I’m not sure how many chapters I want to make. I’d like if you guys could vote on this:
Minho as BFF to lovers for the Triangle
Han as Friends to lovers for the Triangle
No Love Triangle at all
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Everyone but you wanted to be the popular guy.
Not because you were above things like wanting to fit on the wild battlefield that high school was or because you didn’t need people’s approval to feel like a whole person, and even less because you hated being under everyone’s eyes… No. You were petty enough to admit that you loved the attention. The reason why you weren’t like everybody else was that you were the popular guy that everyone wanted to be. That’s right… You were what every single one of those kids wanted to become and you didn’t need to do anything to have your way.
At least, that was what you believed exactly thirty seconds ago.
The silent pause following your invitation wasn’t expected, and neither was the way her judgmental eyes scanned you from head to toes. There was this foreign feeling of being embarrassed, and that sudden urge to shrink and hide from the crowd that you didn’t allow to show on the surface. You were too cool for this. So you settled for clearing your throat, leaning on her table in what you hoped to be a flirty way, and glanced at your friends’ table in search of some sort of silent moral support that you were so in need of right now.
You could say that you weren’t the most subtle human being in the world or else her eyes wouldn’t have snapped right to where you were looking at. As the bunch of overly stealthy people that you definitely were used to be with popularity clogging your better judgment, the four of your friends stared right into her eyes; the expression of a deer caught in headlights plastered over their face. If you had any hopes of not humiliating yourself to that strange girl in the corner ─ who you happened to have a big, fat crush on for at least one year now ─, they were immediately crushed by your own best friends.
Very well.
At least, it couldn’t get any worse than this, right?
Then you learned the valuable lesson of not speaking too soon.
“You want to go out with me?” That wasn’t the kind of incredulous tone that was meant to hide one’s excitement… It was more like that bewildered contempt that one cannot hide at all.
She couldn’t even process the fact that you were bold enough to believe that the mere thought of dating you could ever have crossed her mind… And once more, the humiliation hit you like cold water coming directly from an angry, merciless waterfall. Was that how normal people felt in their daily lives? Jeez… It was so much better to be popular! How do those kids even handle that? Definitely not the life for you.
Your internal rambling had you missing the slow shift on her expression; rejection dissolving to give way to some kind of resigned interest: “How much?” She spoke up in curious confidence, and you must have been too lost on your thoughts because you had no idea of what she was talking about.
“Excuse me?” You blurted out ever so eloquently.
“How much is into this bet?” She asked as if it was the most reasonable thing in this world, and the lack of response had her scoffing, to further prove your point, “Really? You expect me to believe that the most popular guy in school would come all the way to my table, conveniently under his friends’ eyes, just to ask me out on a date with no second intention?” She raised her brows amusedly, chuckling at what seemed to be the best joke she had ever told anyone “Right” She huffed, crossing her arms and tilting her head to take a better look at you.
That was the moment of the truth.
You could either tell her that she misunderstood everything and explain how much you really liked her ─ which would put everything at risk because she clearly didn’t believe you could like someone like her ─ or you could play along with it and score a chance to win her heart on a date.
The answer seemed to be pretty obvious to you.
“Yeah, right” You laughed dismissively, pulling out the chair so you could sit down beside her. There was no sign of resistance in her face; moreover, there was a shimmering curiosity dancing in her expectant eyes, “You totally caught me…” You admitted grudgingly, shrugging to show her how much you didn’t care about it. Fun Fact: You actually did! And you would very much appreciate her to know that… Damn it! What the hell were you getting yourself into?! “So… Should we split it?” You suggested nonchalantly ─ just like the smooth son of a bitch you were.
“What about fifty-fifty?” She proposed shamelessly; face twisting in a funny expression that tried to say that she didn’t care about it either but giving it away that she did, “How much is in for me? Like… A hundred bucks or something?” She leaned back on her chair before shrugging, not willing to admit that she was interested in this.
“You’re good” You chuckled while nodding in agreement; mimicking her as you leaned back on your chair, “Sounds great, right? Getting a hundred bucks to date this hot stuff here?” You grinned as you gestured at yourself, getting nothing but an unimpressed look from her.
“Look, Changbin…” She began hesitantly “If we’re going to make this work, it might be better for you to let me do the talking, okay?” She smiled sarcastically, looking at you with a mix of… You weren’t even sure what. Was constipation considered a feeling? If so, she looked constipated by your existence, “I’m not gonna lie… I want the money, and as long as we don’t have to do anything stupid like kissing or having sex, I think I’m in” She simply agreed while looking into your eyes.
She had such pretty eyes… The most beautiful eyes you have ever seen… The type of eyes to hold so many emotions that you couldn’t help but wonder if those would ever be directed at you. Right now, you could see they were. However, the usually captivating trait wasn’t that heartwarming now… Not when there was nothing but pained resignation in them… Not when they made so damn obvious that she didn’t like you back… Not when they shift to sheer excitement to the sound of someone else’s voice.
“Hey” Was the single word that brought her to such a state of happiness; eyes twinkling and a genuine smile cracking on her face as she looked to the guy talking to her “What’s this?” He asked while gesturing to the both of you before squinting his eyes in suspicion “This table has always been our, shortie, fuck off” He scoffed; sitting down as if it didn’t even cross his mind that you could stand up against him.
“Short—?!”
“Shut up, Minho” She rolled her eyes, even though you could see the amusement in them, “He’s here to ask me out on a date” She clarified nonchalantly; eyes attentive to his reaction.
“Of course he is” He snorted, shaking his head in disbelief while poking his food.
“I am” You stated seriously while boldly offering him The Look, “Is that a problem?” You arched your brow in a silent challenge.
“I don’t know…” He dropped his fork; eyes connecting to yours with such a murderer intention that for a second you considered just playing it off as a joke “Is that a problem?” He asked back, studying your face.
Thank Lord you were a proud Leo or else the “No, Sir” on the tip of your tongue would have slipped just like that from your mouth. Instead, you just returned his glare, choosing to be silent so you would not show him how much he scared the shit out of you. The silent battle was promptly cut off by the damsel in distress herself, a not-so-subtle kick under the table that had Minho wincing on his seat.
“No, that’s not a problem” She stated firmly enough to end the discussion “I’m going out with him” Even though you were aware of that, it still made your stomach flutter.
“Okay” He said bitterly; lips twitching slightly “So that’s not a problem” He forced a smile, picking his fork and scrambling his food mindlessly.
“Great!” You offered her a bright smile, too excited to hide your true feelings.
“Great” She stated monotonously “So… See you later?” She arched her brows as if to say that it was time for you to walk away.
“Of course” You agreed promptly “I can walk you home later… So… We can arrange the details” You suggested hopefully, and she seemed to embrace the idea.
“Sounds like a date” She smiled.
“Yeah” You chuckled; rubbing your arm before waving at her and heading to your friends’ table.
Well… Getting a date: Checked.
Having your feelings reciprocicated: Hm… On progress?
First confession meeting any of your expectations: Hell no...
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Rebloggable Masterlist // Main Masterlist // Tag List
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#skz fanfic#skz x reader#changbin x reader#skz fluff#districtninewriters#changbin fluff#skz scenarios#skz imagines#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#seo changbin fanfic#changbin fanfic#seo changbin x reader#changbin scenarios#changbin imagines
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I briefly discussed this with @chazmina back in, what, February, and wrote a note to myself that I should make a post about it... well, I guess time’s a construct and it’s always better late than never, so here goes.
The Problem with Emma/Jekyll in Jekyll & Hyde the Musical
So. I’ve never really felt any chemistry in between Emma and Jekyll in J&H the musical, and whenever I watch the show, I have a rather hard time trying to get invested in their relationship. I wanted to write a little post exploring why that might be!
First off, because coming from me, someone might think this is the case – I don’t think it’s because I ship Utterson and Jekyll. The way I ship those two (namely, a semi-unrequited mess of mostly bad feelings) doesn’t really get in Emma/Jekyll’s way. If anything, having an impending wedding to someone else enhances my Utterson/Jekyll experience. And hey, you know what the meme says, Jekyll has two hands... and he effectively uses them both to hurt many, many people. :)
But, thinking about Emma...
The musical, of course, does what every other adaptation of Jekyll and Hyde does and gives Jekyll and Hyde separate girlfriends. And at first glance, the whole situation with Emma and Lucy is built on some very tired stereotypes: you have the goody-two-shoes rich blonde for the good guy and the promiscuous poor brunette for the bad guy. The musical does little to combat this – but for me, the things it does make the situation worse, actually.
The Problem
When we first meet Emma in the engagement party scene, we soon find out she’s not quite what you might expect. Sure, the writing’s ham-fisted at best, but even so – instead of a demure little wife-to-be, Emma is rather sassy. She’s also broken off a relationship before, apparently simply because the man didn’t appreciate her for who she was. And now, she’s marrying a man of her own choosing, even if there are people out there who don’t approve of the match. Pretty advanced for (our stereotypical vision of) the Victorian era.
I think in some other story, this would be great! A quick-witted, self-confident lady to balance off the scientist with lofty ideals. However, in J&H the musical... first, the musical takes pains over showing us why Emma and Jekyll are a good match – come on, they badmouth the stuffy party crowd together! – and then, we see Jekyll take his leave of this fantastic woman to go ogle at dancers in a local burlesque house.
(Sure, sure, it’s a bachelor party cliché to hire some strippers, but even so. He doesn’t even hesitate. Maybe it makes a little more sense whenever they’re using the script where it’s Utterson’s idea to go to The Red Rat, but it doesn’t seem like many modern productions are based on that.)
Then, of course, Jekyll runs into Lucy, and we’re supposed to believe he sees something in her right away. Something, you might assume, that’s altogether different from whatever he sees in Emma.
Sure, the obvious thing that pops to mind first is that Lucy is sexually available in a way Emma is not – but then again, it’s six weeks to go unti Jekyll and Emma’s wedding, so soon enough, Emma will be too. (And even back in those days, I guess if they wanted to get it on right there and then, they could. I repeat, it’s six weeks, so even if they got a baby on the way right away, she wouldn’t be showing until after the wedding.) So maybe instead, Lucy understands Jekyll mentally in a way Emma does not? But if she does, what was Jekyll and Emma’s big song about knowing and loving each other as they are about? Are we supposed to think it was insincere? Or are we supposed to assume that Jekyll assumes that, unlike Emma who knows and loves Jekyll, Lucy would also love Hyde as he is? (I guess that might be it, I’ve previously talked about this with someone who was an advocate of that theory – but it’s still a lot of assumptions stacked on top of each other without ever making the situation quite clear.)
This all leaves us with a rather weird situation: Jekyll is in love with and getting married to Emma, who loves him back and is very likeable. At the same time, Jekyll finds Emma lacking somehow, because when he gives way to his repressed urges, he immediately goes to cheat on her with Lucy.
Of course, you could use a setup like this to argue, say, that you shouldn’t except any single relationship to fulfill all your dreams, and that monogamy is not the right lifestyle for everybody – but this show is decidedly not smart enough for that, and the extremely stereotypical way the women are otherwise handled doesn’t really allow for enough nuance to argue something like that. From a storytelling point of view, in a show like this, you’d except something a bit more overt.
The Solution
To fix this, here’s what I’d do:
I’d still write Emma as a feisty, likeable character – but I’d add in a couple of lines where the engagement party guests whisper about her embarrassing breakup with Simon and how she’s getting on in years, so it’s good she’s settling down with someone, even if Jekyll is way beneath her.
When it’s time for the big Jekyll/Emma duet, then, I’d write it in a way that makes clear something’s not quite clicking in between them, that they’re not quite in tune with each other (maybe literally.) There would be some clever lyrics implying that, while they’re dreaming of a harmonious future together, their exceptations of what their marriage will be like actually contradict each other. Maybe Jekyll doesn’t even understand Emma’s sense of humour, and when she tries to make some sassy remark about a party guest, he just stares at her, nonplussed.
And then, when Jekyll and Utterson leave the engagement party for The Red Rat, you could have Jekyll confessing he’s a bit worried about how balancing his work with the duties of a family man is going to work out. And Utterson’s all, hey bro, I hear you, but it can’t be that bad, I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but once she inherits her father’s fortune, [insert ka-ching noise]... and then you could have Jekyll sheepishly admitting that Papa Carew’s fortune is something he indeed considered when proposing to Emma... but John, don’t get me wrong, it’s also that I’ve never met any woman I like as much as I like Emma, and isn’t that a perfectly respectable reason to get married to her?
And boom, then Jekyll meets Lucy, and she’s the one. He knows it immediately after seeing her: what he feels for Emma is nothing compared to this, this is the woman of his dreams, the only one for him, and no matter what he does or who he marries, he’ll never be able to put her away from his mind. (Shhh. I know it’s saccharine. I guess at heart, I’m a tragic romantic.)
Then, Jekyll’s dilemma becomes this: he knows that by breaking up with Emma, who’s already scandalised everybody by breaking off an engagement with Simon Stride, he would destroy her chances of ever getting married, and he cares for her enough that he doesn’t want to ruin her. He knows that by now, it’s his gentlemanly duty to go through with the wedding. What’s more, he obviously knows marrying a prostitute would destroy whatever credibility he still has in the London society – and if he ever wants to advance his career and make a real difference in the world, he cannot have that. He knows that a connection with the Carew family, and in time, Papa Carew’s fortune, would greatly help him to reach his professional goals.
And maybe Hyde treats Lucy badly not only because she prefers Jekyll to Hyde, but because somewhere deep inside, Jekyll and therefore Hyde is angry at her for existing – for destroying what would’ve otherwise been an okay-ish marriage and an okay-ish life. Because now that he knows her, he knows how true love (and lust) feels like, and a lukewarm existence simply will not do anymore.
What do you guys think? Does this make sense to you? Or if you really like Emma and Jekyll’s relationship in the musical and don’t think it should be changed, why is that, and what is it that I’m not getting about it? :D
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1. No, it’s not. But I recommend stopping at the S14 finale, which is where everything stops making sense.
Spoilers for S14 Finale
(I’m honestly shocked if you’ve managed to avoid them):
Even aside from the nonsense that is shoving Jeid down our throats after 14 years of nothing, it’s obvious as hell the showrunner changed her mind (she admitted so herself). When both of your actors avoid talking about the scene, you know you’ve made a mistake.
It completely ruined Rossi’s wedding and made everything until 15x02 so fucking uncomfortable I actually left the room. But more than anything, the unsub made no sense. I get it, cases are hard. But why the FUCK would he care if JJ liked Spencer? He didn’t know she was married, much less not married to him? He didn’t know anything about them? Why did they randomly throw in a line about Spencer being in prison just for the guy to discount it?
None of it made any sense. It was super bad.
2. Everything.
Season 15 Spoilers
From the jump, JJ’s stupid ass decision to pick up the gun? Why would she do that? Seriously, why? Like... Spencer was right there. Why wouldn’t she just stand there and radio for him? They weren’t gonna get the gun, how the fuck would they do that?
Essentially, S15 turns all of the characters into fucking idiots. Starting at the S14 finale, they cheapen Spencer and JJ’s friendship AND JJ’s marriage. It turned it all into boy and girl can’t be friends, and I’ll never forgive them for it. It would have made eons more sense if it was a Jemily confession.
But beyond that, the only other episodes I’ve seen so far are Saturday and Date Night - two of the worst written episodes I’ve ever seen in this show. We ignore it because everyone loves Cat Adams, but that’s actually why I hate them. Also...
Max is a raging Mary Sue.
She is a self-insert garbage character that I’m convinced was never supposed to exist. She was thrown in to make Spencer “normal” instead of just letting him be autistic. She’s rude to him and he doesn’t care because... they need him to not care about it. Her storyline makes no sense. She’s just meant to “fix” Spencer’s autism bc that’s the only way he could be happy and in love, right? If he’s “normal?”
You’re telling me that Spencer Reid, seasoned profiler and almost murderer who was imprisoned, REALLY thinks that his Mary Sue girlfriend is capable of murder? Look me in my eyes and tell me that. That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard in my entire fucking life.
Even further, you’re telling me ACTUAL murderer, prolific hitwoman, and genius Cat Adams believes this random girl saying she murdered someone? The same girl who called Spencer on every bluff except the one about her father? ARE YOU JOKING?
Then the whole making Spencer super hot for Cat thing. She tried to murder his mother. She also either ordered someone to r*pe him, or at least made him believe it happened. Come on, man. I get it, it’s hot, whatever, but it really shouldn’t have been canon. It was just some horny writer being weird. Not to mention, it canonically made Spencer a cheater.
I will never get over that scene - let’s walk through this from an unbiased perspective please:
Girlfriend witnesses boyfriend making out with murderer who tried to murder his mother and your family. Girlfriend says, “Hey, you seemed real into that kiss?”
Boyfriend laughs and goes “Haha, yep! Sure was.”
Girlfriend laughs and goes “Haha, you like the bad girls.”
Boyfriend who has never once shown a single interest in anyone even remotely resembling a bad girl ever in 15 seasons, “Yeah, usually. But I like you, good girl I just cheated on!”
Girlfriend is happy. “Let’s kiss!”
What the fuck. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.
GIRL. L E A V E H I M.
This isn’t even to mention that Spencer in 15x02 goes “I can’t imagine a life where I’m not waiting for JJ” to “I’m ready to move on with Max” in Saturday to “I’m hot for Cat” in Date Night to “Maeve is the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
Pick a fucking lane, bro.
There’s a lot more I’ve heard but haven’t seen yet that is a disaster (including the continuity error where “Rossi knows the jet better than anyone” when he literally didn’t know it existed before he returned to the BAU - JJ and Spencer know it better than him). But I haven’t watched it yet so, guess we’ll find out then.
3-4. Hahah this made me laugh because my immediate answer was... 2008. I actually used to have a MGG/Spencer Reid blog in 2011. Let that sink in.
I think my rewatch started Dec 2019? I don’t remember. We took a lot of breaks, including a couple months between S12-13 since we bought them. I watched S13-14 in a week, lmao. We’ll probably finish S15 this week.
5. Awwwwe ewok baby! Clearly from how much I just typed in this massive rant, my arm is feeling somewhat better. I hope it is fully healed in a couple days, but until then I’m mostly just writing bar prep essays.
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I know you hate avatars, but "character who is motivated by a one-sided fixation/crush" is not at all exclusive to avatars. like is Faye suddenly a better character than Tharja because she's attracted to a non-avatar? These aren't even exclusive to newer games, while my knowledge of old games is limited, Vanessa and Aimee are obvious examples. Even your 3h fave Hubert is motivated by a one-sided attraction, and he is notable in that his fixation mirrors Tharja's in how unhealthy and creepy it is
There is the older, related archetype of the Catria, a female character (usually a pegasus knight) dealing with attraction to a lord or similarly prominent male character. In some cases, especially the ones where the attraction can be requited like Vanessa or Erinyes, it also shares some crossover with the lord/vassal relationship dynamic I’ve talked about in-depth. Cordelia from Awakening is the most recent manifestation of this variant, and surprisingly for someone who exists in the same game as Tharja it’s relatively understated.
The difference I see when it comes to someone like Faye or Hubert or even Aimee is that their attraction is never seriously entertained and is played for (dark) laughs, whereas the Avatar fangirls must be able to end up with the objects of their obsession because the self-insert has the privilege of being able to get with the entire playable cast. Hubert is every bit as creepy and evil in his attraction to Edelgard as Tharja is to Robin, but Edelgard laughs him off when he confesses his love and even in their paired ending they don’t get married. Like with Faye and Aimee the lack of a need to consider self-insert appeal allows the writing to be more honest about how pathetic, invasive, and/or predatory these characters’ behaviors are in regards to their crushes. You’ll notice that I never shy away from bringing up Hubert’s unrequited attraction to Edelgard, that I think it adds even more disturbing layers to his characterization and that it’s necessary for contextualizing his attraction to his other love interests including and perhaps especially Ferdinand. I’d still say he’s negatively impacted by the presence of an Avatar, but only indirectly via Edelgard’s extreme focus on Byleth over everyone else.
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What are your thoughts on Wind Vira's fates? Overall I liked them, but there were also some parts that made me cringe.
vira’s arc in general frustrates me. the most clear and obvious way to advance her character would be to make something actually happen with her and Katalina. have her confess, or have kat realize her feelings and respond in some way. either have them become a couple, or have kat turn her down. but they never do that because even tho they’ve basically explicitly said vira is 100% in romantic love with kat, they seem to have zero intention of actually doing anything with it or taking it seriously. the whole thing exists so they can make shitty psycho lesbian jokes or yandere jokes or jokes about how vira’s a creeper and kat’s oblivious.
In that regard grand vira and wind vira’s eps were a good step away from treating her like a joke. we get serious character examination that shows us that vira has real issues that keep her fixated on kat and keep her from forming healthy bonds with other crew members. but again, all of it is done in this very frustrating way where kat never gets to be a part of it. katalina must always remain an oblivious chump who can never actually be there for vira or interact with her in any meaningful way, because if that wasn’t the case the audience might have to entertain the idea that she might actually get in a gay relationship with vira. its frustrating.
its all very queerbait-y. they dont have the balls to have kat and vira become a couple bc then omg one of our main female characters is gay, but at the same time they want to keep stringing queer fans along with the idea that it might happen someday so they also dont have the balls to just have kat turn vira down and let her move on. games been going for 6 fucking years now and they still have this thread dangling in limbo.
if kat turned her down we could let vira have an arc about genuinely moving on from her and maybe finding new love with someone else. but the problem with that is they seem to want that “someone else” to be danchou. and that’s another can of worms. they cant ever commit to the idea of vira x danchou because not all players would agree with it. they cant ever have an “official” danchou pairing because danchou is a self insert and different people ship danchou with different people. plus, since danchou can be male, pushing danchou x vira takes on this really gross fucking tone where its like “her gay love for kat is weird and dangerous but all she needed was to find a man to fix herself”
So yeah vira’s whole situation is really frustrating. maybe fire vira had some better content, idk, i havent checked her out but her second uncap art of dancing with kat is way more explicitly gay then anything else we’ve gotten so far. but until we get some actual resolution on the whole thing it just makes me tired.
#granblue fantasy#gbf#vira lillie#its especially weird since granblue has been really good with a lot of queer stuff#but not this#vira walked so all those other characters could run i guess#mind-blaze
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hey so this may seem esoteric, but that should be no surprise coming from me. i wanna make a list of like, charlotte liking/loving daniel. i’ve been wanting to for a while. in fact, i’d make a gifset but i don’t... do that. cuz like, daniel loving charlotte is obvious. everybody can see it. but i wanna show some appreciation for charlotte being into daniel. for her loving him back. because she totally did
we dunno much about dan/char pre-island, but first time we see them on screen together, they’re happy to see each other. and in general, char is happier when dan is around. it doesn’t escape notice that char can be... difficult with people. but around daniel, she's calmer and happier and smiles at him several times. even when he’s not looking
like, omg, the amount of times charlotte is happy to see dan. from their first on screen interaction, right to their last interaction in the finale. i could create a collection of times she’s looking at him with eyes a-glitter
jin says to sun, “do you think she knows he likes her?” and sun replies, “she’s a woman, she knows”. charlotte, who can understand korean, smiles fondly at this exchange. yes, she knows
look, even i can see the body language. okay, lemme tell you something about women. if a guy they don’t like touches them, women tend to look annoyed or pull away a little. or like, tense up. basically you can tell. as i’ve mentioned a million times, daniel touches charlotte a lot. on her arms, shoulders, face and hair. her fucking hair. and at no point does char express any problem with this. not even a frown. no recoil or distaste whatsoever. she is totally okay with dan touching her. and in places you don’t tend to let people touch you unless you like them
(i think charlotte is the type of person who’d say something if she didn’t want a guy touching her. and of course dan would stop, he’s a good boy. but that would never happen. because she’s totally okay with it)
hand holding, like, three hugs and a kiss on the cheek. these two were never Officially a couple and they didn’t get as much attention as other romances but wowee, these two touch each other a lot
during one of dan and char’s hugs, char is touching dan’s face and neck
charlotte is not a health care worker, but has taken it upon herself (as far as we know, with no prompting) to act as daniel’s carer. because she cares about him and wants to help him. she’s comforting and supportive of daniel, particularly during his moments of self-doubt
she’s very protective of daniel. examples: 1. jin wants info outta char, char refuses, jin threatens to break dan’s fingers, char instantly relents. 2. sawyer slaps dan, char gets right in all “OI WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING??” and 3. juliet is holding a gun on char, char says “if you wanna stop us, you’ll have to bloody shoot us”, juliet points the gun at daniel, char loses all that bravado
the fact that she didn’t fucking lose it when dan called her out on her “bad attitude” and instead just looks at him dumbfounded. yeah, this might be interpretation on my part but i think if any other man told charlotte to have a better attitude, she would've gotten real fucking angry. i would’ve
she has no negative reaction to daniel saying he loves her. she looks surprised, like she didn’t know that. (so we can figure, she knew he LIKED her, but didn’t know he LOVED her) later, she gives him a chance to take it back, in case he was embarrassed or whatever. he doesn’t and she looks... awed. happy. she didn’t expect that but she’s okay with it
also when dan leaves right after this, char starts crying. she’s so overcome by the fact that daniel loves her that she tears up (notably looking away so nobody else, like miles, can see her)
when her mind is time traveling her mind, she says “you know what my mum would say about me marrying an american” in a playful manner, to daniel. you know my headcanon about that (limbo!) but besides that, this is a show where Words Are Said Because Of Reasons (Symbolism)
in general, their dynamic and the romantic moments/framing with them would seem really hollow if charlotte didn’t love daniel back
as a cute bonus, rebecca mader said she likes to think that in limbo daniel and charlotte are gonna be together and have lotsa babies
(insert “bitch me too. the fuck” gif here)
in conclusion daniel loves charlotte, charlotte loves daniel. i love them both. likely a lot more than LOST ever intended but it’s too late to stop now
they’re soulmates, thats canon, thank you very much
here are some, not all, pictures of char smiling at dan and just... just being so fucking happy with daniel’s existence (insert that “bitch me too. the fuck” gif again here), since that's all i could see in my head when making this list:
^ subdued, not quite a smile but that was her face after dan didn’t take back his love confession so i’m including it, damn it
^ there’s a lot in that scene, she’s smiling at him the whole time
also see what i mean about the touching thing?
and that last picture is the last we ever see of charlotte
thank you for your time
#this totally doesn't exist anymore but back in the Old LOST Fandom#it was common for people to say/joke that daniel/charlotte was one sided#because no way a GIrl LIke That would be into a Guy LIke That#and uh... RUDE#so this is me... barking at nothing#but i like making lists#and talking about these characters#and i have friends who'd appreciate this#i didn't have all those pics ready by the way but i knew the places to find them
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🌼Flowers for my wounds🌸
(@kondo-hijikata @liuet in case you feel like reading it? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )
~Yes, woo what a surprise, a long rant about the Shinsengumi again, how original Nashi. ~
Why thank you, dear reader ;)
In all seriousness though, all the previous rants I made were spoiler free and it made me ridiculously furious that I held back all the salt and awe I have in me just for the sake of not spoiling any potential newcomers. I’ve covered some of this in vague posts hundreds of times, but today I will break that habit, I will spoil this to hell and back and enjoy it just as much.
You've been warned.
PS: I’m doing this entirely based on my memory and some snippets I’ve seen one time too many for my own good. Inaccuracies are bound to happen.
As always, what better way to begin than with the infamous episode 33...
I'm kidding, today I'm starting by digging into the post office. As with the usual routine the theme to talk about with this wreck is - guilt.
Guilt over losing money in a gamble like a complete fool, guilt over buying a book and being too big of a shit (with rather solid arguments) to admit it, guilt over making rules you can't break even though going through the consequences once was enough to make you regret it for the next few miserable years...
(Yes I lied, inadvertently everything comes back to the foolish daffodils).
But let's talk about our pure accountant who is one 'i' short of being nothing but cute. Let's talk about the edge they put us on a bit before the main event took place, when the (drama version) of the idiot trio tore that scroll. Never forget that could have been the reason for all our tears, yet in the end it still had to be some more complex scheme. An act with the convict being an innocent man and the true criminal roaming free, while Toshi had all the time in the world to steep in deep, raging self-denial over the legitimacy of his past actions and life choices, all the while ending up the scapegoat to whom all the anger can be directed towards.
The subtlety with which we were deceived to think the "actual events" of episode 38 were to play out earlier is truly commendable. But with this drama nothing is ever easy. You get to know a new character, someone moves a chess piece and then instead of moving forward everything takes a step back and lets you seethe with nervousness because, without realizing, you've been tricked and have to wait for all the heartbreak a while longer.
Takeda's resolve to keep to his decision, regardless of consequences, was in his eyes, completely justified. It did make sense to try and prevent Kano from buying the book for Ito in order to protect the group from his growing power, the action simply failed due to Toshi's own greed after it. Kawai innocently, perhaps naively, thought lending money more than once would not be punished in hopes his friends would be saved from harm. It is his kindnesses that is ultimately his doom and it is the unexpected, usually harmless twists in life that turn it into a spiral with no point of return. Takeda's following quest for redemption ends up being just as pointless as Kawai’s death - he is killed in an instant of hate directed at him, where the assailants are unaware of his reasoning for the justification of his friend's demise. The book too, loses value as Ito gets his own copy later on.
Most, if not all, tragedies in this drama happen because someone is trying to protect or shield - and idea, a person. Toshi's friends die because he must protect the order of the group for Kat-chan, Yamanami and Akesato have a rift in their final moments because they cannot be honest (likewise Souji and Hide), Kat-chan's relationship with Tsune suffers because he lies about Miyuki, Nagakura and the others write the petition to shield the group from Toshi and Kat-chan's (propensity) ego. The pattern is pretty clear.
I'm going to loop back to the script for just a second - watching this drama knowing what will happens adds a thrill, it makes you question when an event will take place even though you know the chronological sequence, because the “mini-arc” leading up to it has to be completed first and the tension must be just right. How long that is depends on the episode and event of course.
But each arc is a stepping stone to a new point of no return.
I think, since I've mentioned him, I'll take a bit to talk about Ito as well. I love, love, love the confrontation Kondo and Ito have right before his death. It's absolutely stunning despite being simplistic in nature, because what Kondo states is in fact the very obvious truth and in no way some overly wise notion of the situation. However, it's that simplicity (to me) that adds to the charm of the scene. If you expected some courageous battle of wits, you might have been sourly disappointment, but otherwise - see the pattern? - what brings people to their knees is once again the basic things in life. Kondo’s sincerity, the fact that life is and always will be (mostly) separated into black and white for them. Farmers and samurai, poor and rich - they fit in a narrow grey zone, yet even there they are bullied, pushed away to leave. It's everything complex they're trying to achieve being haunted by little things. It's the desire and determination to be something big and more buried into the ground by the small things they were raised with, holding them back.
Ah, it’s about time this goo got to the good part.
No, it’s still not episode 33. Firstly because I’m sure everyone is tired of my whining about it and secondly because I like to leave best (in my opinion) for last.
This is for our Gargoyle and Tofu. Just imagine, for a second imagine that final hug again and bathe in it, then come back to me, okay? The wedding rings champagne caps and Toshi’s little grimace when he tries to convince himself ‘it’s not over yet’. (At this point I would just like to praise Mitani again for giving us closure with that hug, unlike some other shows I watch *side eyes knife pile*). I’m really glad the two of them got to hug it out before the whole deal blew up. Everytime a ‘Kat-channn’ or ‘Tossshii’ came around my heart melted a bit. THE DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD. (I get so, so jealous each time I see well written relationships between two guys. Doesn’t matter if it’s boyfriends/best friends/would-die-for-you combined or only one of these included. (*cough* NIF & Bleach for one *cough*) I don’t even know what to say! We all know Toshi would sacrifice the world for Kat-chan. We all know Kat-chan trusts him above all else. The guilt one feels and the content of the other having come so far together and being such a power combo…*noises*
I don’t even know how to put this.... (@kondo-hijikata help this is your expertise)
I’m going to move on to some more feathery stuff because I’m really at a loss about these two (analysing NIF’s LC/MCS has engraved so deep into me it’s ruined my perception for everyone else, I apologize).
Right, feathers…
I wrote about Serizawa and his issue of not being able to get over his “I’m a bad guy, therefore I must act like it” complex...somewhere before. I can’t find it, but I’m very sure that was once a thing. I know most people hate the man with a burning passion and part of me probably does too, yet the way he is presented also makes him fascinating, like he is very self-aware but cannot change anything about that (this is similar to Toshi’s “indifference” (we all know he actually cares) of his path to become the villain - he knows that what he is doing is morally wrong and has no intention of stopping). I feel like in the end both of them continued with “bad guy” roles simply because they were too far down that road to stop.
I would analyse Serizawa’s character more, but I honestly don’t remember much anymore. I did want to mention this though. Toshi on the other hand…feels like someone who desperately wishes to rage quit everything, but keeps on going out of pure spite.
And since I’m speaking of our beloved vice-commander - one thing that opisses me off is that Kotetsu got mentioned, but the whole wow deal with Kanesada got dropped out, even in the movie. *cue bawling over that Katsugeki finale* I was hoping for that when Tetsu showed up dammit!
Am I tiring you yet? Come, sit down, have some tea Gen-san made because he is totally ok and alive an happy and you cannot convince me otherwise because the hugging thing did not happen. Period.
…
Lastly, because my mind is going blank this is quite long - the bane of my existence and the one thing (to me) more cursed than Ryoma himself. (I’m lying PMK upped this x100000 and I am not over that either. I’ll confess immediately I did not read the whole thing yet but this, this haunts me).
This stupid episode with it’s stupid ending and it’s stupid decisions. *insert me yelling about rice balls on the Mibugishiden review post* I mean what is it with this drama and ending brutally sad episodes with (unintentionally?) funny moments? *cue Toshi’s squeaky crying*
I have covered my thoughts about Akesato here and here though and since that essentially recaps everything I want to say, I won’t repeat myself. (Thought you’d have to read through 5 more pages of me screaming? I did too before I forgot what I wanted to say.)
I might make a part 2 someday, if I think of more to say, but for now, I’m done, leaving you with this stressful mess. Feel free to add your own opinions, I’m really curious about what the rest of you think.
~Nashi out~
#taigaqueue#personal#long ass rant just because#this has been a while in the making#I HAVE FEELINGS OKAY
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ON BENEFITS OF FANFICTION; OR, VETERAN OF THE FLAME WARS
I was flipping through some old writings of mine a while ago, all while re-watching the French animated series Code Lyoko in an attempt to recapture my childhood or something, with the looming deadline of this week’s post over my head. Oh, and an unfinished album review for a metal CD that came out last week. Good times.
Anyways, I was looking through some of my older stuff when I stumbled upon that cringe-inducing aspect of my childhood that made me not only regret undertaking this bit of literary skullduggery, but also made me remember way too many things all at once. This was, of course, all of my old fanfiction stories from when I used to kill time on deviantART.
Oh yeah. We’re talking about this.
Alright, firstly, let’s get the obvious out of the way: fanfiction has an immensely controversial reputation, one it’ll probably always have. Fan labour will always be around, fan art will always be popular, and fans will always remake their favourite films, either by their lonesome or through mass collaboration, and fanfiction will always be written and read. Fan labour and its many facets are, honestly, some of the most impressive, sincere, and genuinely cool enactments of creativity that’s readily available, but where there’s fandom, there is unease. Ever since the internet became a viable meeting ground for fans of, well, anything, it’s also become a battleground-cum-farmer’s market of fan-made goods and loving tributes to anything and everything that has a copyright slapped on it and has existed at some point. For every twenty pieces of fan art, there’ll be forty arguments being carried out across countless forum posts on the very same subject.
Fanfiction’s place amongst all of this is one of distinction and notoriety. The art of using established characters and settings and telling your own stories with them reaches all the way back to the death of Sherlock Holmes, where fans resurrected the character for their own stories after Sir Arthur Conan Doyle killed the character off. Since then, fans crafting their own adventures for their favourite characters have long become a popular way of not only displaying their affection, but also showing off their own writing and storytelling skills. It should also be noted that the idea of having two male characters enter a non-canonical relationship started not with the anime boom, but with Star Trek fans. In fact, the seminal novel Killing Time had heavy undertones of a Kirk/Spock relationship in its original manuscript, something that’d been well-established and practiced among female fans of the show since the original run. Fanfiction has a seminal place in the development of modern fan culture, and there just isn’t no denying it.
But as I was reading back through these old fanfics of mine, I realized something. Fanfiction, especially nowadays, has this uncanny ability to see where a person was at the time of writing a fanfic. A lot of general queasiness about fanfiction comes from not only the sometimes subpar writing on display, or the admittedly cringe-inducing sex scenes that sometimes play out in an unsurprising amount of these stories, but also the large amount of times when the story starts to play out like someone’s diary rather than a cohesive narrative. I’m certainly guilty of this myself, and while it can certainly be uncomfortable to read for the uninitiated, other times it shows just how deeply connected someone is to what they’re writing. Sometimes, it takes someone else’s creation to get your deepest thoughts and feelings out, which is something that’s not so easily accepted.
So why am I talking about fanfiction? Well, I think it’s because I believe that, like fan art or fan games or fan music or whatever, it has value to those who partake in it. It’s hard to sit here and really speak ill of something I’ve been involved with since I was young, but that doesn’t mean I understand why it usually elicits shocked laughter and uncomfortable side-glances from those who’ve seen some of the more questionable sides of the subject. The numerous ironic reading videos of people trying to stifle their laughter as they slog through a poorly-written overly-edgy My Little Pony fanfic can be hilarious, just as the idea of an erotic story involving Tracer from Overwatch getting gangbanged by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles can confuse and horrify anyone who’s not the reader. It’s no secret that fans sometime use these forms of fan labour as conduits for their own oddly-specific fetishes and fantasies. It’s a way for teenagers to get out a lot of their angsty, underdeveloped emotions, all without resorting to real-world actions. It’s a weird, strangely personal world.
But is it bad? Like, should we believe the horror stories we’ve heard and just shun anyone partakes in fanfiction?
The reason looking through these old stories compelled me to write this is to highlight the good that comes from writing fanfiction and letting people do their thing when they write it. As someone who considers writing their natural talent, I can honestly confess that if I hadn’t started writing dumb human-girl-meets-alien-boy fanfics way way back in grade 7, I would’ve never planted the seed that made me realize that I actually have a way with the written word. Other people might think otherwise, and that’s fair, absolutely. But fanfiction is not only a way of expressing one’s love for a piece of media, or getting out of your head all those weird unrealistic self-insert fantasies, but I also see it as a genuine way of honing one’s abilities to write and tell stories.
Hear me out: imagine having an idea where you think of a story, but instead of characters or setting or anything, you think of a scenario or a new way of telling a story, or an experimental way of structuring a multi-chapter story. Fanfiction gives writers a place to experiment without having to create characters or settings. Pick something you know by heart, and throw your ideas at it, see what happens. It can also allow creators to tap into that childlike sense of make-believe, when kids ran around their suburban backyards throwing imaginary Hadoukens at each other. You have your favourite characters, now go on new adventures!
It’s really hard to summarize my feelings about fanfiction. I see why some don’t like it, I see why others, myself included, love it. As I come to the exhausted end of this, I sit here and try to think of why fanfiction still matters in a day and age where fan artists can make money off of their work, fan remakes warrant documentaries about their productions some decade or two later, and where fan games are more popular than ever. Hell, the Japanese have essentially chiseled their own economy out of fan works, just look up Dōjin on google, the numbers are STAGGERING. But, why do these niche, sometimes awkwardly constructed stories still matter?
Well, I think it’s the freedom that comes with it. It’s far from popular, and remains only a minor niche format these days, but the freedom of the written word is a beautiful thing. And fanfiction, in manners both fantastic and horrifying, may just be one of the ultimate exercises in creative freedom. At the top of the pile are works like Fallout Equestria and Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality¸ while at the bottom you have the eternally-infamous My Immortal. And everything between, and below. It’s a strange world, definitely not for all. But I can’t stay mad at it. In a way, I owe my creative life to it.
Still, Tracer getting spitroasted by Donatello and Leonardo does bother me. And I don’t even like Overwatch.
~M.C.
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Winn Schott - He Protects the Stars (a S1 masterpost)
Me, rambling about my favorite cape-less hero, in chronological order. This is an appreciation post for anything and everything I can mention and that is all.
Episodic breakdowns under the cut.
This post will be reblogged as I add in episodes.
1x01, Pilot
Jack-of-all-trades #1: Head IT Guy at CatCo
Does not push after being turned down for a date. (which, btw, considering how her dates goes, I can’t help but think Kara would have had much more fun having a chill friends night watching a movie with Winn)
Afraid of heights, meets Kara on the roof anyways. WHAT THE HECK WAS SHE THINKING SCARING SOMEBODY LIKE THAT, JUMPING OFF A ROOF.
Immediately ready to listen to whatever Kara is about to confess and validates her trust, and accepts his friend for exactly who she is - all the time??? #supportive friend
Jack-of-all-trades #2: Tailor (later says that “the Supergirl suit sucked” but that Kara didn’t need it to be amazing anyway.) Still. Makes her supersuit after a few...errors. Also works on this project for days to get it right.
Jack-of-all-trades #3: Hacker
Admits when he’s wrong: “a cape aids in aerodynamics!”
1x02, Stronger Together
tbh, Winn doesn’t get a lot of attention in this episode but
Encourages Kara after her first big mess-up, telling her she’s going to get better, and everything will be ok. #supportive friend
Is Supergirl’s information source and cohort, helping her fight crimes. Can you imagine early Kara Danvers trying to decide which emergencies to respond to first? (Later joined by James) #hero
Obviously jealous of the obvious attraction between Kara and James, but keeps his distance and doesn’t make things difficult.
Jack-of-all-trades #4: Mathematician/Tactician, instantaneous rattling off of an ambulance weight and the amount of newton force Supergirl needs to use in order to, as James puts it, be gentle. #genius
1x03, Fight or Flight
Creates the team’s first base of operations.
Writes and implements an algorithm that is somehow capable of sweeping an ENTIRe CITY for traces of radiation??? So that Supergirl can find one particular villain?? #genius
“This isn’t on you, Kara.” #supportive friend
Is the one to find Krull. -Because of making a connection between radioactivity in Chernobyl and MOLD (it’s a real thing btw) #hero #genius
Steps in and saves Kara from getting in trouble with Cat. #supportive friend
Okay, but whether or not you ship them, Kara and Winn are having so much fun dancing in this scene, they are too happy. Also, making Kara laugh when she’s stressed. Also, looks to Kara when James interrupts and doesn’t make a fuss when his dance is stolen.
Jack-of-all-trades #5: Dancer - how many IT guys you know who are also comfortable on the dance floor
Empathetic/Perceiving: “Hey, you okay?” the second Kara walks in and he can tell something’s wrong, and then makes an effort to cheer her. #supportive friend
1x04, Livewire
Righteous indignation at Leslie’s slamming of Supergirl/her costume/everything.
HE WAS GONNA SPEND THANKSGIVING ALONE GUYS not really relevant but HE ALSO ENDED UP SPENDING THANKSGIVING ALONE IN THE END ANYWAY??
Does his best to make that dinner go well for the Danvers. #supportive friend
His little “grateful to be included/thankful for you” speech.
1x05, How Does She Do It
watches the phones for Kara so she can go Supergirl stuff. #supportive friend
Jack-of-all-trades #6: Reluctant Babysitter - despite feeding Carter nothing but junk food, is actually the responsible one looking out for the kid the whole episode. -James sat in the same space and didn’t notice the kid leaving apparently, soooo.
apparently makes a habit of camping out in Cat Grant’s office to play video games on all her monitors???
“Winn, you’re getting killed.” - “Every day, kid.” will never not be a line that doesn’t hurt.
“Hey, you alright?” Empathetic/Perceiving again when James is having trouble with Lucy. #supportive friend
Figures out where Carter went immediately. #genius
Is trusted enough by Kara that she abandons intel to pursue something else on his word - and it pays off. #hero
Probably is responsible for Carter gaining a sense of humor.
1x06, Red Faced
Another too-small Winn episode
Is alarmed and against the idea of breaking into the DEO database - as one should be. “That’s treason!” Initially refuses, even knowing it would earn him points with Kara.
“You’re the only one that can help us.” Alex’s words, not mine.
Relents and hacks the DEO anyway for Alex and Jeremiah’s sake. (yes, Kara, pulling the dad card was a dirty pull) #supportive friend
Not relevant but: Winn just casually/insistently pushing James’ arm out of the way of his computer screen after James sits on his desk.
“Wait, does the robot fight mean that game night is cancelled?” #priorities
Finds out about Jeremiah, and is the one to figure out that Hank redacted the files. #genius
1x07, Human For A Day
No, wait, he actually is The Best IT Guy for the job: gets CatCo back up and running in a matter of a few hours after an earthquake. #genius
Supergirl’s #1 Fan and always takes offense when she’s snubbed.
“That’s the story. Ordinary people like you, used to doing mundane and small things, finding themselves in the midst of a crisis doing something extraordinary. Heroes.” Cat said it, not me.
So the first time I saw Winn’s reaction to Kara and James hugging, I thought he was being pretty selfish. But his first words are to remind Kara about Lucy. And even if it’s out of jealousy, he’s concerned. Because he is right when he says Kara can’t have a normal life - she’s shown she doesn’t want one. Winn, maybe better than James or Kara herself, understands what that means. The superhero doesn’t get the guy is a lesson he’s been teaching himself, so of course it’s going to be how he reacts. James has a girlfriend, and Kara would never be able to settle into a human existence.
Is stressed after answering phones for Kara for a bit, but is the one to communicate to an entire floor of trapped people what they need to do, and that they’re going to be rescued. #hero
Uses a screwdriver in the track to keep the elevator door open. Idk if you’ve ever worked with elevators, but that takes maneuvering. #genius
He reaaaaally doesn’t like heights guys.
-BUT pulls people out of the elevator shaft anyway. #hero
Can I just point out this is the second, and will not be the last, time Winn has watched his friend(s) plummet to their inevitable doom?
Not here to justify Winn’s rudeness at the end of the episode, but Kara getting all cuddly with the guy she’s attracted to when he has a steady girlfriend is not a good thing. If it were my friend, I’d be disappointed in them too.
1x08, Hostile Takeover
So not only does Cat call Winn a handsome little Hobbit, she trusts him, and knows that Kara does too. #she gets it
“No one knows the computer systems better than you.” Kara said it, not me.
“Shouldn’t we be focusing on the whole Psycho Aunt Astra is back in town for round two thing?” #priorities
I’m 95% certain Winn’s passive-aggressive turns in these few episodes was a red herring of foreshadowing him to be a villain and I’m vaguely disappointed they didn’t do it a little more because red herrings and foreshadowings are my fave.
If Winn was petty like people sometimes think, he wouldn’t be hanging out on his break with James. Anyone who has lunch or coffee breaks with coworkers knows this is true. #supportive friend
Comes up with the plan to get Armstrong’s files and evidence against him, and runs the whole operation. #genius #hero
“What are you guys doing here?” “Saving the day!” ...okay those were Winn’s own words but he’s not wrong.
gosh he looks so happy to be sticking it the man here #hero
“You did it.” ^_^ #supportive friend
NOT REALLY RELEVANT BUT JAMES TELLING WINN TO RISK SEEKING AFTER KARA GETS ME EVERY TIME, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING HOW THOSE RELATIONSHIPS GO RIGHT AFTER.
1x09, Blood Bonds
A good Winnisode means additional hashtags
Not really relevant, but the whole scene where Kara is freaking out about being “normal” is genius and hysterical. “Are you having a sTROKE??”
When James says he didn’t find anything out from Max Lord, Winn immediately knows he’s hiding something, though Kara is oblivious, and immediately calls him out on it, though he waits for Kara to leave, giving James the benefit of the doubt. #the most empathetic character on television #genius
“Kara’s a little too trusting to notice when you’re lying, but I’m definitely not.” Not many people have given him a reason to trust them. #protect him
James: “they’re targeting Kryptonians” Winn: “Including Kara.” #supportive friend (Credit to James for being on the same page.)
#DoesNotWantToBreakTheLaw
James: “do you really want Kara to find out you let me do this all alone?” Um. No. Bad. #too loving and forgiving and easily manipulated for his own good
Hacks Max Lord’s "not state-of-the-art security, it Is The Art” security, in a matter of hours. #genius
“You can’t kick lasers, can you.” #the snark
Stands in the way and successfully stops Kara at her angriest, the most dangerous we’ve seen of her yet, from going after Max Lord in a blind rage and doing something terrible. Bonus of Kara yelling at James that “you can’t stop me” and turning to the doorway to find Winn blocking her path. #supportive friend #hero
!!! watch that scene again.
Kara: “I almost did something today that I would have regretted for the rest of my life.” J’onn: “What stopped you?” Kara: “My friends. The DEO keeps you human. They do that for me.” #hero #supportive friend
“Eh, it’s why you keep us around, right?” #self-deprecating smile
Can I just take a moment to appreciate Winn’s wardrobe? Especially that fine choice in pants. 10/10 Okay, we’re good.
1x10, Childish Things
Oh here we go, friends, here we go, this is gonna be long. Full disclosure this episode is mostly sucker-punched emotions
Winn’s voice introducing the episode, yes please.
*insert mini rant about how this is The Worst prison ever (discounting Arkham of course), with horrible safety and security procedures and it’s a wonder they kept the Toyman in there as long as they did*
kudos for casting Henry Czerny as Winn’s dad, he actually looks like he could be Winn’s dad
Winn already looks distracted and sad in his first scene, trying to figure out what the special toy delivery means.
*insert mini rant that Agent Chase is actually pretty incompetent as an Agent and that’s a crying shame*
Winn and Kara’s whole relationship in this episode is about not wanting to change something good. Winn didn’t tell her about his dad because he didn’t want her to pity him
“He wasn’t always crazy, in fact he was a good dad - he was normal.” This is one of the things that causes Winn so much pain, thinking his dad was fine and then just completely snapped without warning, that this could happen to Winn too. I need to point out that Winn is probably wrong, as everything we see about Winslow points directly to a history of emotional abuse and manipulation. I don’t think he was ever actually a good dad. This explains why Winn never sees it when his friends/others emotionally manipulate him now, as James, Mon-el, Alex, Kara, and Lyra have all done at least once. #too loving and forgiving and easily manipulated for his own good
All of the things Winn says describing his dad are things that Winn faces too, hence his fear of becoming like him. #protect him
“You have a homicidal maniac in the family too, so you know where I’m coming from.” #self-deprecating smile
Immediately confesses about the toy as soon as he talks to Kara. (Thank you Kara, yes good) #hero
Talking into the wire. #NERD (I can’t use that every time, just - he is a nerd.)
Wouldn’t confront his father without Kara’s support. #protect him
Creepy place, but makes me think about the time Winslow must have spent there with his son, playing games, and winning toys. Kudos for the sign that says “one way” pointing the other direction as Winn is walking in.
Immediately tells his dad to turn himself in. #hero
After everything, even hating his dad, Winn just wants to help him in the best way possible. #the most empathetic character on television
Feds burst in and Winn just wants to stop anyone from getting hurt. #hero
Kara’s really good in this episode, being a true BFF, have to put that out there. Regardless of their relationship particulars, she is very much the best thing that has happened to him. #supportive friend (Kara edition)
Crossing his arms defensively while talking to Agent Chase, but immediately relaxing his posture when talking to Kara.
Also: “Are you sure you’re alright?” #supportive friend #the most empathetic character on television
Kara’s “I don’t normally...inhale” may be the best line in the entirety of this show??? XD
#DoesNotWantToBreakTheLawRevisited
Kudos to Jeremy Jordan for taking the extremely melodramatic line “this is my burden” and making it work.
Making corny jokes to get Kara to laugh when he’s the one who needs to be cheered up. #supportive friend
Figures out where his dad is, but despite not wanting to involve Kara, doesn’t do anything stupid, and instead waits to tell her so she, the superhero, can take care of it. #genius
Aside: Winslow Schott Sr is completely cracked like wow
Mad at himself for endangering Kara and immediately wants to call the feds. #priorities
“Well then what’s to stop it from happening to me?!” is so awful ouch. Also, Kara trying to console him and ending up saying exactly the wrong thing. Sucker. Punched. #protect him
This. Whole. Scene. Hurts. Too. Dang. Much. To. Talk. About.
I want to point out that the whole terrible kiss is not completely and only Winn’s fault. Yes, he kissed her. Yes, that was wrong. But he has been in no way subtle about his feelings for her, including: asking her out, telling her she’s what he’s grateful for, saying “this is why you’re not into me” right before finding out she was Supergirl, that little peck on the cheek, Kara saying things like “we’re linked too” and “I would be lost without you” and etc when he is in an extremely fragile emotional state. Yeah. Poor kids.
At once - AT ONCE - apologizes, and excuses himself and honestly with emotions that high, that’s the very best thing he could have done.
THE POOR BOY. #pROTECT HIM
HIS DAD WAS LYING IN WAIT. LIKE. HECK. NO.
The whole scene between the two Schotts. Winslow pretending he cares even while he has his son drugged and tied to a chair. Nobody stole anything from Winn and his father except his father himself. #protect him
The conflicting fear and rage in Winn though. *flops*
UM I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE BECAUSE I JUST ASSUMED THEY WERE ZIP TIES BUT WINN IS TIED TO THAT CHAIR BY THE TOYMAN’S MURDER YOYO
“How did this happen to you” may be the most important question Winn has ever asked of anyone in his life, to understand how his dad could become this and if he might become it too, and his dad completely ignores him and doesn’t answer.
Winn: “I am nothing like you.” Winslow: “Don’t underestimate yourself.” That’s it. I’m dead.
The panic on his face as he looks at Dunholtz, his target, and the steely resolve that comes when he looks at a child, someone who will be hurt if he doesn’t go through with this.
And even then. Even then. Winn can’t bring himself to actually hurt someone. #hero
I still am not sure if he says “I’m sorry” to Dunholtz for going to shoot him, or if he says it for the entire room, because he can’t go through with the awful deed and it’s going to kill them all. #the most empathetic character on television
Even after all that stuff Winslow said, he very calmly and coolly activates the bombs that will kill everyone, including the son he pretends to care about, because it really is still all about himself, and about his revenge. #NOT COOL WINSLOW
Apologizes to Kara again and comes clean about it all finally, it’s out in the open. Good.
That sigh at the end. He’s so upset, but there’s also relief. He doesn’t have to hide anything anymore. Now whatever happens, happens. *hugs him*
Last thing: this line gets me every time, and I know it doesn’t mean a thing, but it’s there, it happened. Kara telling Alex: “I screwed up with Winn. I might have ruined something and I don’t know if I can fix it.” Fix it, kids, please. Because Kara and Winn as brotp or otp is life.
This is the longest episode breakdown of this post. You’re welcome??
And that’s all for Part 1 of the masterpost. Tumblr hates how long this has gotten, so I guess I’m going to make a Part 2 for the last half of the season. This line here will turn into a link once I have that post started.
#winn schott - he protects the stars#ragamusings#rags watches tv#winn schott#appreciation post#superglue#jeremy jordan#supergirl
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Thoughts on Digimon Adventure tri.: “Coexistence”
Alright, I kept telling myself I was going to give a day to let my thoughts on “Symbiosis”/”Coexistence” (I'll go with Coexistence generally just to clarify) sink in, but I cannot get my mind to shift on anything else so let's just get to it. If I miss anything, I’ll make an additional thoughts post or something, but I feel like I’ve covered everything here for the most part. So, how did this go as we’re nearing the end of Digimon Adventure tri?
Oh boy, where do I even begin?
Let me lay this down straight: “Coexistence” isn't absolute garbage and is not the worst thing I've ever seen. I still think other series like Digimon Frontier are far worse than tri as a whole so far, but... “Coexistence” pretty much puts a lot of tri's flaws all in one big package.
The "padding" of this movie wasn't so unbearable that I wanted to shut the thing off, but I can certainly say that for 3/4ths of the movie, I was so bored. Not ready to die bored, but questioning "When the hell does all of the material this movie kept pressing so hard before release supposed to show up? Where's Kari's development? Where's Ophanimon Falldown Mode? Any answers to all of the plot threads you've left open? Are the Digimon going to regain their memories? The 02 cast? Anything?" There were cute moments here and there, but I felt that the payoff wasn't good enough to sit through so much of this. This isn't to say that the payoff wasn't good at all--I'll get to that towards the end. Let's get the bad stuff out of the way first. Other than the music anyway; that was as good as always.
The animation, while mostly okay, had some weird moments. I know it's happened throughout tri, but the size inconsistencies of the Digimon were especially obvious in “Coexistence”. Maybe I just never noticed it until now, but there were so many moments where I was thinking things like "Agumon isn't that small," or "Why did Patamon suddenly shrink from one frame to the next?" Also, there were a good number of stills used here for some reason. Why? I have no idea, but it looked bad. There was also this one shot of Piyomon flying that was really choppy, yet Patamon's flying animations looked as fluid as usual just a few seconds later. Are they trying to save all their budget for the last movie? Come on guys, this isn't “The Scuffle of Legends” for crying out loud. The animation was at least good where it was supposed to be, especially towards the end (the scene where the ground was falling apart were super quick and fluid? I'm not sure if it was just me, but it stuck out to me as looking really well-animated and flowing compared to the rest of the film).
There's sadly not much fighting to talk about animation-wise either. It looks good when it happens--I personally thought watching Alphamon and Jesmon duke it out was awesome. The Digimon from the DigiDestined, other than Tai and Matt who manage to bring together Omegamon, sadly don't get to do much. But hey, the animators learned to put all of the Digivolution animations together in one shot instead of making us watch ten minutes of Digivolution animations! I mean, I love watching them and all, but sometimes you have to cut to the chase, and this was one of those cases. I just found it funny that the one Ultimate Digivolution we hadn't seen, WereGarurumon, gets boxed. But I was sad to see MetalGarurumon's boxed. I mean, his pose and everything looked awesome so I would have really liked to see it in full! Hopefully, we'll get to see it in full in the next film. I mean, come on! I demand to see my metal puppy with some shiny awesome Digivolution animation! Omegamon also got a... sort of Digivolution animation, but it still looked neat! I just wish it was even flashier since, you know, this is a Mega/Ultra level Jogress Digivolution. It deserves to be insanely flashy!
I know I've been saying "towards the end" a lot in these thoughts so far, but... that’s because, sadly, you don’t really need to watch the first three episodes except for like, some exposition about Meicoomon. You know what the rest is? Meiko wondering and whining and mulling over what to do with Meicoomon. Over. And over. And over. If you weren't tired of it the last couple of movies, you will be absolutely sick of it by the end of “Coexistence”. I cannot stress how I tried so hard to give Meiko a chance. I tried to look at things from a sympathetic viewpoint. So many times, I was ready to just give up on her character, but I came into this movie thinking, "Okay, I'm going to try one more time. This might be where Meiko gets interesting. Maybe after all of this 'development', it will actually pay off into something really great."
That didn't happen. We got the same kind of thing with Meiko as we did with the rest of tri. The self-doubt, the crying, the blush stickers, the "Why was I chosen!?" subplot which was already done so much better with Joe, the pity party, attempting to take responsibility for things only to rinse and repeat everything I just mentioned--anything you have seen of Meiko in the last four movies of tri, you will see here (except maybe blatant fanservice) but it is done for three full episodes. It was tiring, it was frustrating, and I just wanted to see the movie focus on something besides Meiko for five minutes. I mean, we get some nice bits with the DigiDestined like them reaching out to their parents as they're unable to go home--but of course, most of these are silent and the one that gets the most attention is Meiko's.
I hate to go on and on and on about Meiko as much as I am, as I understand some people like her. However, I wouldn't be going on as much about Meiko as I am if tri wasn't focusing on her so much in the first place. My biggest issue with all of this focus on Meiko is that these attempts to "develop" her and make her more likable are far too little, too late. These are things that we should have been seeing in “Determination” and “Confession” for us to understand and connect with Meiko as a character. Instead, they wasted time with her being unrealistically socially awkward and fanservice-y, and then being outright whiny and insufferable in “Confession”. And the writers expect us, more than half-way into this series, to truly invest in her and care. This might have been doable at this point if it was in small increments with balance with the rest of the DigiDestined rather than focusing so hard on her because the writers realized they were running out of time, but that's not what they did.
There were things they could have done to make her more likable and human throughout this series. There was the potential of her father being an abusive asshole father to at least explain how shy and scared and shut-in she was, except he... wasn't really that terrible. He was just a workaholic who asked Meiko to let Meicoomon be experimented on, and... that was about it. Suddenly he started caring about her in this film like he woke up one morning and said "Oh shit, I'm a bad father." It was more like a parody of the asshole dad than an actual use of the trope, with little execution applied. There's also this tick Meiko has of having a Tottori accent, which was only used a record time of once in “Determination” to show she had this quirk and for the cast to giggle about. Suddenly, after a phone call with her father and crying about Meicoomon again, Meiko starts speaking with this accent, likely forgetting her habit of speaking so formally around everyone. This is honestly a minor thing, but it did give more flavor to her character and had she grown more comfortable to use it more often around the DigiDestined cast, I would find her character to be more believable. She just shifts around from being uptight and formal to suddenly open and willing to cry her whole heart out to them. There's no gradual development. What was also weird to me is that, with all of flashbacks Meiko had, we don't really hear her using this accent she supposedly has in her childhood (at least as far as I could tell?), so yeah... we also have inconsistency issues! Yay!
I also simply cannot bring myself to like Meicoomon either. I get it, I'm supposed to sympathize for this poor Digimon who was basically born as an outcast and technically did nothing wrong. But... She barely has a personality other than "Mei! Mei! Mei!" and how am I supposed to care about a Digimon who serves as nothing more than a plot device and flipflops from being a cutesy kitty to a devastating killing machine? This was something Digital Monster X-Evolution did infinitely better with Dorumon. Now, we do at least finally get an explanation as to why Meicoomon freaks out so much without Meiko and why she's so uncontrollable in the first place. And... it's one of the dumbest asspulls this series has had.
Meicoomon was basically born from a fragment of Apocalymon's data. I've seen some people point out some things foreshadowing this, but they're super filmsy to me and nowhere near convincing enough for me to really follow as something the writers really thought through. It feels like some lazy excuse the writers came up with to try to connect Meiko and Meicoomon back to the original Adventure series in some way, when really it just makes their whole existence feel all the more hamfisted. I've tried to avoid the "blatant self-insert Mary Sue OC" label with Meiko as much as I could with how overused it's been applied to her by so many people who watch tri, but if anything made her fall under this label, it would be this. She has a Digimon formed from a fragment of the original Big Bad's data? Seriously? Let that sink in. Did that really sound like a good idea on paper to someone? If that's not enough, this is literally recycling the plot of Ryo and Monodramon from the Tamer games on the Wonderswan, where Monodramon Jogress Digivolved with the Big Bad Millenniummon and ultimately became his partner after being reborn, which led to the Ryo we know with his berserk Cyberdramon from Digimon Tamers. Hell, Battle of Adventurers did the whole "leftover fragment of Apocalymon" thing a lot better. It's just shameful how lazy this whole thing is put together when the writers have been building up the plot for, what, five movies over the course of three years? I guess this also explains how Meicoomon was the special snowflake who wasn't affected by the Reboot at all, but... whatever. I barely even care at this point. Meicoomon and Meiko are special snowflakes and that's just how the writers are going to treat them.
What makes this special treatment of Meiko all the more frustrating is when you look at the DigiDestined constantly comforting her and acting like she's been with them for years, saying things like "We're with you because we're all DigiDestined!" and were even willing to depart from their own moral compasses (referring to Tai's willingness to kill Meicoomon as Meiko wishes when he just said in the previous episode that he didn't want to kill a friend) when... they're completely ignoring the Adventure 02 cast. I get it, some people are tired about people questioning where they are, but when the writers have been waving teases at the audience like showing them being "killed off" in the beginning, Gennai taking on the Digimon Kaiser disguise, Kari and T.K. being concerned for their whereabouts a record one time and bringing back the freaking Dark Ocean (because, you know, that went so well in Adventure 02!), you have to question the cast's lack of concern. Adventure 02 has not been de-canonized, or these little things wouldn't exist. So I hate how the Adventure cast is constantly catering towards Meiko's needs when they've maybe known her for a couple of months at best, but don't even show a wink of concern for the Adventure 02 cast who they have probably known for years (I imagine they kept some contact over time) and both T.K. and Kari went through a whole series of adventures with them. It really does make it feel like the cast are written in a sort of bad self-insert fanfic whenever Meiko has any sort of presence as if the world revolves around her.
Once again, I get that a lot of my problems surround Meiko and Meicoomon, but the problem with this movie is how freaking heavily it focuses on them. A lot of this movie before the last episode is simple padding like the cast trying to get back to the real world, telling ghost stories and having other cutesy moments. I didn't hate all of these, but when we're getting so close to the end... I want this time being spent on the writers finally tying up loose ends. There's one movie left, and yet here they are continuing to add even more questions to the plot and not enough answers and then otherwise wasting time with things that do not answer these issues. I am not against filler--I was fine with most of “Determination”'s because it was the beginning of the series, things were still rolling in, and there were still increments of development happening here and there (Mimi's narcissism and Joe's questioning of his identity as a DigiDestined). But this late in the series, it's time to cut that down and focus on ending the story. Instead, “Coexistence” does a whole lot of nothing with terrible pacing issues, retreading on things we already know/are tired of hearing about, and just adding more instead of answering more. The writers have dug themselves in a big hole and bit off more than they could chew, and it is the most apparent in this movie.
So I must hate this movie then, right? Actually, no. Even though I think three of the four episodes are tough to sit through, with only cute moments to salvage them, the fourth episode was good and finally gave me what I was hoping for in this movie.
Because it's a minor thing, yes, Himekawa had some of her insanity breakdown. Not as much as I wanted, but I still ate up the nonsense she was saying and... she got a gun out of nowhere? What? When? How? I don't know, but it's hilarious. I swear, she's ready to kill someone who speaks a word to her. What's even weirder is that the guns she has changes between scenes. One moment, she as a BFG or some sort of grenade launcher, the next she had a handgun. What, did she find some Weapon Shop in a village somewhere? I have no idea where she's going or what she's going to do since she ended up in the Dark Ocean, but I hope if she shows up, she's just off the walls laughing like a maniac bonkers when we see her next. Insane Himekawa is the best Himekawa.
We also get a little bit of the OG!DigiDestined, like a shot with Nishijima's partner Bearmon. Dawwwwww!
But the best parts are when this movie finally decides to get to the focus I was personally waiting for in this movie--Kari Kamiya. While unfortunately it got nowhere near as much focus as I wanted (because apparently a certain other character really needed it more for some reason...), what we got was damn good. I love that Kari, with all of the times she's been possessed by Homeostasis, finally stood up to a fucking deity of worlds. She wasn't taking any of that shit, and she stood up for it. And I love that if tri has done anything, it's given Kari far more character than Adventure or Adventure 02 ever did. While she isn't forceful or rude, she does not take shit when people spew things she can't possibly bring herself to agree with. She has a firm ground, and she's willing to stand on it. Much like the scene where she talked some sense into Joe in "Determination", it was damn good to see.
And then there was her breakdown. Man, what a breakdown. While we all know Tai isn't really dead (if the Adventure 02 epilogue doesn't count to you, he's on the freaking poster of the next tri movie--he's not dead guys), there was no better way to break her. We've seen that Tai and Kari are close like in some bits of the Dark Masters arc in the original Digimon Adventure, so what else could they take from her but what's most important to her? And the way she just breaks is incredible to watch. Dead silence. Disbelief. Broken sentences. She is in such despair of Tai being gone that she just wants the rest of the world gone. While I wish Gatomon had been a little more involved, with the Dark Digivolution just sort of... happening, it was still a damn good lead-up. But man, is it a terrifying one.
While my personal favorite Dark Digivolution moments still go to Takato and Guilmon and Marcus and his Agumon, Gatomon to Ophanimon Falldown Mode and then Jogress Digivolving with Raguelmon to... whatever terrifying Evangelion experiment they combined into, was just horrifying, down to the body horror. It gives the whole "Coexistence" title double meaning (along with the whole coexistence of the Real and Digital Worlds), and just... seriously, look at that thing! If that's not a destroyer of worlds, I don't know what is! And it's basically a living embodiment of Kari's will and feelings after seeing her dear brother "die" before her eyes. Even after this whole thing happens, she's just a living shell just sitting there. You can really see just how broken she is after that.
While I still want to see more of Kari breaking, like how she'll deal with this whole situation and cope with her brother's "death" until he returns, it was still just good to see her develop in some way. And I will say, yeah, the cliffhanger is pretty dirty when the whole movie felt like a set-up for the last one while still doing a lot of nothing until the end. "Confession"'s cliffhanger, while absolutely painful, still felt more genuine than "Coexistence"'s just being there for the sake of set-up. And I think part of the reason it's so frustrating is because that... again, this movie didn't do a lot, so leaving it at that just when it was starting to finally get moving is aggravating.
This is still easily the weakest entry in the Digimon Adventure tri series though. And while it was frustrating at many moments, I would still call it... okay. I think it could have been even worse. The last episode did make it worth a watch, but the rest did make me want to bash my head into a wall at times. At this point, there's no way tri will be able to possibly tie all of its loose ends in a satisfying way. Hell, we may never even get an answer for things like the Digimon's memories or the Adventure 02 cast (though I certainly hope we do). But there is some good set-up here... So if we can at least get some answers, some awesome fights, and good character development and interaction, I am going to look forward to seeing Our Future, though with some optimistic skepticism. Here's hoping, to what little tri has left and how much going against it... that it pleasantly surprises us somehow.
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Twilight Chapter 11 review: Bella killed puppies when she was five. It’s canon. Meyer let me imagine it.
You know how a whole bunch of dudes were really confused by how popular Twilight was with teenage girls and soccer moms in its heyday despite how obviously bad it is (including me)? And how the common answer to that question was something along the lines of “Bella is written like a blank slate so that any girl can self-insert into her shoes, and Edward’s description is vague enough for any girl’s dream guy to fit”?
Well… they’re right. The whole point of chapter 11 is to establish exactly that.
The bulk of the chapter is dedicated to Edward asking Bella questions. Lots of questions; about her likes, her dislikes, her life before coming to Forks… If you can think of it, Edward probably asked it.
But here’s the catch: we don’t get to hear most of the answers. The majority of the questions are glossed over by Bella’s narration. The important thing is that Bella told Edward these things and Edward was intrigued; what those answers actually were remain unknown to the reader.
This gives a fan the opportunity to fill in the blanks with answers of their own. Since Bella didn’t divulge her “profile” information, a reader can choose whatever they want to be a part of it. It is admittedly a genius move from the standpoint of establishing a character as self-insert fodder. Not even RPG’s with featureless protagonists are as effective most of the time, since all the choices you’re given in video games are limited to a handful of options pre-decided for you by the game’s programming. The way Meyer did it, though? The options are quite limitless.
There were a couple of scenes that do the same for Edward. The chapter opens with Bella and Edward watching a video in Biology class together, and they do it again the following day later in the chapter. Of course, both times Bella is too distracted by Edward being next to her to pay attention to the movie, and whole paragraphs are spent dwelling on what Edward looks and feels like. And again… we don’t get a lot of concrete details. Aside from what is typical of all vampires in this universe (white skin, yellow eyes, rock-hard texture and cold to the touch), Edward isn’t given any objective description. Just subjective terms like “perfect” and “mesmerizing”, which will mean different things for different people. It gives female readers a lot of flexibility to imagine their ideal-looking vampire boyfriend.
Again, credit where credit is due. Meyer knew what she was doing on at least this basic level.
That being said, there are a few concrete answers Bella gives to Edward’s questions, and they break the immersion. In particular, four of Bella’s answers are revealed to us. In order:
-When Edward asks Bella what her favourite colour is, she says it’s brown. But only because she happened to be wearing a brown sweater at the time and she thinks that her favourite colour changes from day to day and she dresses in response to her changing preferences.
-When Edward asks Bella what CD she’s listening to, Bella opens up her player and shows it to him… while thinking that she hadn’t changed it from the one Phil gave her before she came to Forks. Edward nonetheless happens to have the same CD in his collection and shows it to her.
-When Edward asks Bella what she liked about Phoenix’s scenery, Bella claims to have had a lot of difficulty describing it to Edward… while describing it to us no problem.
-When Edward asks Bella what her favourite gemstone is, she immediately blurts out topaz, and adds that in a couple weeks it might become onyx. And thinks that it used to be garnet, but since meeting Edward it changed.
That first answer can break the immersion because a lot of people have specific favourite colours that are their favourites for very personal reasons. Now, I’m sure there are also people like Bella who don’t think that hard about their favourite colour, but for the people who do, the answer can be off-putting. The answer could also be off-putting for those that don’t though, because Bella’s answer sounds wishy-washy and reactive, as opposed to the firmer “I don’t have a favourite colour”.
The second answer does manage to keep the immersion, albeit unintentionally (I think). The implication is, I imagine, that Bella’s favourite music is what was in the CD player, and Edward also having the same CD is meant to show that they have similar interests. Problem is, the scene can be interpreted to show Bella’s lack of interest in music altogether. She never once changed the CD Phil gave her. Is that because she likes that particular CD so much she didn’t want to change it? Or is it because she cares so little about music that she didn’t bother with the CD altogether? Or is her favourite something else and she simply forgot to change it with all the vampire goings-on distracting her? Her favourite music could still be anything.
The third answer… Eh. It doesn’t really break the immersion all that much, but it is yet again an example of Bella not being very coherent around Edward. And a further reminder of the toxicity of their relationship; sure, Bella’s easily self-insert-able, but why would you want to self-insert into a relationship like theirs anyway?
And the fourth? That Bella’s favourite gemstone used to be garnet doesn’t really matter. The point is that your favourite gemstone is going to be topaz too if you meet Edward! And that’s insulting to people who are really big into gemstones. Or Sonic the Hedgehog. Or Pokémon. Or Steven Universe. Or RWBY.
Not that the latter two existed when Twilight came out, but still.
Let’s talk about that second one a little more. The CD player. That one in particular rubs me the wrong way because it makes Edward’s intentions obvious and paints them in a very bad light. When Edward asks to see what’s in Bella’s CD player, Bella remarks that Edward looked “as if he were expecting a murder confession”. You know what that tells me?
It tells me that Edward already knew what was inside Bella’s CD player before she opened it. Because you don’t expect murder confessions unless you already know they committed the murder.
And from there, Edward would easily be capable of finding and buying another copy of that CD that he could show to Bella as “proof they have similar interests”. He has the money and the speed for that. And he had plenty of opportunity to see that CD before because of his… visits.
That gives Edward’s massive question dump on Bella a whole new meaning. He doesn’t just want get to know Bella more; he is fishing for ammunition he can use to manipulate her. Edward wants to know everything about Bella so he can impress her with stuff she likes and threaten her with stuff she doesn’t. That’s why he is pressing Bella so hard. Edward can’t stand not knowing Bella’s thoughts and because of that he’s doing everything he can to control Bella’s behaviour and make it a routine he can predict.
Edward may have stopped the physical abuse from chapter 5, but he’s doubled up on the mental abuse in compensation.
You can even see it play out toward the end of the chapter. Edward spends several hours after school questioning Bella, right up until just before Charlie comes home, and ends the discussion by saying that he’s not done and will continue asking Bella questions tomorrow. Bella asks him what happened to taking turns, and Edward just shrugs her objection off by more or less saying his turn isn’t done until he says it is and leaves before Bella can make a counter-argument.
Edward seems to have forgotten that the questioning was heavily skewed in his favour already. When Bella asked Edward questions in chapter 10, she only asked a couple during the ride to school in the morning and the rest were at lunch. Not only did Edward ask Bella questions during the ride before school and during lunch, he asked them during the ride after school and for several hours after that. Edward already asked Bella way more questions than Bella asked Edward, and Edward is still demanding a second day in a row. Their “relationship” is unfairly biased toward Edward, and given what happened with the CD player, I have a feeling that’s deliberate on Edward’s part.
Edward won’t just settle for eavesdropping on Bella’s conversations with his mind-reading and watching her sleep every night, oh no. He won’t be happy until he can micromanage every aspect of Bella’s life.
I’ll repeat what I said in chapter 5 about when Edward dragged Bella to his car:
Anyone who claims that Edward and Bella are not in an abusive relationship has not read the books.
Speaking of Edward eavesdropping on Bella’s conversations with his mind-reading, after the first Biology video, Edward walks Bella to Gym class and briefly touches her face before leaving (except not really. Remember the mind-reading?). Mike asks Bella to be his badminton partner, and since Bella’s more out of it than usual (almost getting raped the previous night and getting used to a romance with a vampire will do that to you), she accepts and lets him cover for her. Mike then proves he’s a badass in his own right; he can win doubles badminton matches while playing solo more often than not.
And Jessica chose this man. She has good tastes. On top of good everything else.
Bella doesn’t seem to agree with me. She, for some reason, thinks that it’s a miracle that Mike still has some chivalry left in him.
Excuse me?
Mike was nice to her on her first day of school (she liked him more than Edward back then!). He skipped school to make sure she was okay after Tyler’s accident (everyone did, but still). He took Mr. Banner sticking a needle in his finger without his consent like a champ and went on to escort two sick students to the infirmary during the same period, including Bella herself. And when Edward stole Bella away from him, Mike had the courtesy to not rat Edward out of playing Hooky. And he apologized to Jessica for asking Bella out in front of her by asking her out.
Mike has always been chivalrous. Aside from that one time during the trip to La Push, and Bella was an eyewitness to him redeeming himself for that.
What, does Bella hate Jessica so much that she assumes Jessica will ruin any man who dates her? Then why did Bella encourage Mike to go out with her? Did she really expect that Mike would turn to the dark side and that she’d be okay with it as long as Mike would stop bothering her?
Actually… yes. Yes she would be okay with it. She’d be okay with Edward being a human-eating monster, so Mike being an asshole is no trouble to swallow at all.
Also, after Gym class Mike confronts Bella about her seeing Edward and voices his disapproval. He makes it clear that he doesn’t like it and that Edward looks at Bella “as if she were something to eat”.
Bella is annoyed by this and blames Jessica for it, cursing her to “the fiery pits of Hades”.
Wait, so I’m supposed to dislike Jessica for telling her boyfriend that their mutual friend is dating a predator and said friend didn’t listen to her objections during Trig?
Ha ha, no. It just makes me like Jessica even more.
And knowing Jessica, if she were sent to Hades, she’d just march right out of it and take an endless supply of hellfire with her to kill Edward with if he so much as bruises Mike or Bella.
Jessica takes no shit from vampires, so she’d take no shit from Greek gods of Death either.
And I’m also supposed to dislike Mike for objecting to Bella being with Edward, and to be fair Mike does have a personal stake in the matter (he did have a crush on her and still might consider Jessica sloppy seconds… to his error, naturally) and Bella is right to say that who she sees is none of Mike’s business… but only if Mike’s only reason for objecting is that he wants Bella for himself.
That is by no means the only reason Mike is objecting. Mike caught Edward skipping and forcing himself on Bella while she was sick from the blood typing lab. That means that Mike saw Edward’s abusive behaviour first-hand and knows he’s dangerous. It’s only natural he’d disapprove of any of his friends dating him whether he was crushing on them or not. He’d make the same objections if it were Jessica, Angela, or even Lauren dating Edward. Just like with Jessica in chapter 10, what Meyer’s trying to sell as people sticking their noses where they don’t belong is actually two of Bella’s friends genuinely looking out for her.
Meanwhile, the guy that is genuinely invading Bella’s privacy gets no comeuppance or lasting disapproval for doing so; all the complaints Bella makes about Edward using his mind-reading to eavesdrop are swept under the rug and ignored in favour of gushing over his looks.
Damn… The hypocrisy in this novel is palpable.
The chapter ends with a surprise visit to Bella’s house by Jacob and Billy Black (Edward kept them coming a secret from Bella) with Charlie just behind them. We’ll see what that’s all about next time.
#twilight review#anti bella swan#Edward and Bella is abuse#Jessica Stanley is awesome#tropes#escapist character#self-insert#bastard boyfriend#designated villain
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Writers Have Too Much Power
Pairing: Tsukishima Kei x Yamaguchi Tadashi
I was thinking about what to write about for this week’s post when I had the sudden realization that I could write about whatever I want without any limits. I figured that writing a self insert would be a bit weird so I’m having Yamaguchi use this power for me. Hope you enjoy! ~Elle
Yamaguchi stared at his computer screen, the blinking line at the top of the page taunting him for not typing anything substantial. He glared at the blank page as if doing so would magically create a story out of thin air. How he wished that ability existed…
His eyes were burning from being exposed to the blue light emitted from the computer for too long. Yamaguchi willed for something, anything, to come to mind in order to give him an inkling of inspiration so as to avoid disappointing his followers online that were awaiting new content from him. The boy gained a following from posting original short stories online, and he was very strict with himself when it came to keeping a schedule for posting his stories. If he had nothing good to show, he would beat himself up in disappointment.
He was close to doing so at that moment, for he only had 5 hours left to write and post another short story.
The boy rubbed at his eyes and groaned in frustration. Pulling his hair, Yamaguchi couldn’t overcome his case of writer’s block. Inspiration was nowhere to be found.
Yamaguchi gave up and shut his computer down before throwing himself on his bed and yelling into his pillow.
If there’s one thing he hates most in the world, it’s knowing that you have disappointed someone over something you could have avoided. Yamaguchi could have avoided procrastinating until the last minute, but he was so tired from all his exams and from volleyball practice. He regretted spending his free time watching videos online. He wished he was more like his best friend, Tsukishima, who never wastes his time doing frivolous activities.
Tsukishima, in Yamaguchi’s mind, was not human. He was unbelievably good at school and very smart. He was a prudent person that always completed tasks on time and never waited until the last minute to study or do homework. Yamaguchi would joke around with his friend, making comments about how he probably has no life, but apologize immediately after, half-sincerely, when Tsukishima responded with a scowl. Yamaguchi, however, wished he had the same trait Tsukishima had. Perhaps if he didn’t procrastinate as much, he wouldn’t be in the situation he was in.
Coming up with an idea for a short story was impossible now, for all he could think of was his friend. Yamaguchi had been harbouring a crush on Tsukishima for a while, and he never expressed his feelings about the boy. Though he owned a prickly personality, Tsukishima had a softer exterior around Yamaguchi, to no one’s surprise, as the pair have been together since childhood. They were so close that it was only a matter of time before Tsukishima enchanted him.
Tsukishima...
Yamaguchi sat up and turned on his computer, opening the blank document he intended to work on.
Realizing he had the power to write anything and needed to write something, he made the most teenager-esque move and began to write a love story based on his crush.
He began to write about two girls. The first was a very tall, bespectacled girl that did not like to interact with people. Her name was Suzuki Keiko. The other girl was slightly smaller than the first, her character having low self-esteem and freckles decorating her face. Her name was Yanagi Toshiko.
Perhaps it was very obvious that those characters were based on Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, himself, but the boy couldn’t care less as he wrote their story. After all, he kept his short stories a secret from everyone and he was anonymous online. No one could ever trace the story back to him.
He didn’t feel like straight up writing fanfiction about himself and his best friend so he thought a name and sex change would be best.
He wrote about Suzuki and Yanagi being best friends since childhood, always inseparable from each other. Yanagi, however, fell in love with Suzuki and was scared to tell her because she had no confidence in herself. She believed that her friend couldn’t possibly find her attractive, and confessing would only destroy the friendship that had been kept alive for so long. Bottling up her feelings only made things worse, and Suzuki eventually noticed something was wrong. When Suzuki confronted Yanagi about her odd behavior recently, Yanagi broke down. Suzuki became shocked and began to try to comfort Yanagi, which was uncharacteristic behavior on her part, but she didn’t want to see her friend upset.
“Can’t you just tell me what’s wrong, Yanagi?” Suzuki sighed, a stern expression on her face masking her worry.
“Y-You’ll hate m-me,” Yanagi stuttered as she sobbed.
“You haven’t done anything to make me actually hate you so far, and you never will,” Suzuki responded, “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
Yanagi only began to sob harder at Suzuki’s prodding, terrified of speaking.
“Please?”
“I like you.”
Suzuki stared at her friend, wide-eyed, causing Yanagi to panic.
“You think I would hate you for such a thing?”
Yanagi looked down and began to play with her fingers, “I just...I don’t know how you would r-react to s-such a declaration.”
Suzuki leaned in, her face centimeters away from Yanagi’s, “Let me tell you right now that my reaction may be nothing like what you were expecting.”
Suzuki cupped her hand behind Yanagi’s neck and pulled her in for a kiss.
“I like you, too, Toshiko.”
Yamaguchi sighed in relief once he finished his work, not even rereading it to check for any errors because he did not have enough time to proofread. Actually, he did, but he wanted to post it as soon as possible before he has time to reconsider deleting everything and making a post saying that no stories were going to be posted that day.
Finally uploading the short story, he exited the website and began to watch videos on Youtube to distract himself from the fact that he practically wrote about himself and Tsukishima getting together in an unbelievably cliché manner. Truly, he abused the writer’s power of being able to write whatever he wants.
Yamaguchi wished for an ending like Suzuki and Yanagi’s in his short story. He could do without the teenage dramatics, though.
#ellewrites#haikyuu!!#hq!!#poor yama#his maybe not so hopeless crush is affecting his life#also imagine the embarrassment if someone from karasuno found that#imagine if tsukishima found that#i mean maybe it would all work out but omg#lmao im horrible#tsukkiyama#yamatsukki#tsukishima kei#yamaguchi tadashi#karasuno
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So Much For The Genius (Pete x Reader)
Character: Peter Parker (Holland)
Fandoms: Spiderman and a bit of Iron Man
Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Fluff
Title: So Much For The Genius
Requested by anon:
If ur still taking requests could u do Spider-Man with Holland n he's very smitten w u n every time he is around u he's a loss with words. Tony notices n realizes he has a crush on u so he tries to help him out. When u see him Peter can never talk properly or without embarrassing himself or making things awkward. Ur helping Peter learn how to fight n he finally takes initiative and kisses u.
Requested by anon:
Heeey! Couuld iii req a peter parker (tom/andrew u choose) where she is mad at him and ignores him, his texts, everything. And he tries his best to reach her, and just desperately wants her to talk to him again. Thank you!
Peter felt himself blushing when he noticed Y/N was walking the hallway. And his heart sped up when her beautiful eyes fell on him and the most gorgeous smile coming from her mouth lighted up the place.
“Hi, Pete!” Cheerfully, she walked over to him.
He stood next to his locker, keeping his glance locked on the depths of it. Staring at the books and notebooks inside it made it easier not to glance at her. Because just the sight of her warm eyes and her bright smile made his insides stir nervously and excitedly. And that caused him to be speechless and make a fool out of himself. He was just smitten with Y/N.
“Hello, Y/N” The boy replied absently, trying his best not to be clumsy or somehow embarrass himself.
“How are you?” She casually leaned her shoulder on the wall and Peter could feel her stare on him.
Feeling his voice shaky and himself jittery, he just shrugged. Y/N sighed and crossed her arms in annoyance.
“What is with you lately?” She tilted her head to the side in confusion yet a mild annoyance lingered on her attitude.
“Wh-what?” He gulped as he reluctantly took his head out of the locker and closed it with a shaky hand. “What?”
“We’ve been friends for a while now, but…” Their eyes finally met, so she bit her lip in deep thought as she observed him in an attempt to figure him out. “Lately you’ve been acting strangely. And don’t tell me ‘it’s complicated’ again”
“I’m nothing” Peter upset himself by accidentally mixing up the words. “I mean, I’m okay… it’s nothing…”
“But, Pete! You-“ Before the girl could finish her sentence, he abruptly interrupted her.
“Gotta go, bye!” He exclaimed with fake and unfitting enthusiasm. Then he bolted out of the hallway and ran outside the high school.
Y/N just stood there, being left in the middle of a sentence. She shook her head angrily and stormed away from there.
Meanwhile, Peter pushed himself against the wall and rested the back of his head on it. Shutting his eyes tight in embarrassment, he waited for his pounding heart to calm itself.
“It’s easier to be Spiderman than it is talking to Y/N!” He whispered to himself, annoyed yet resigned.
“Careful what you say, kid” A familiar voice startled him, making him open his eyes in surprise. “Anyone could be listening”
“Mr. Stark!” Peter stood up straight while he stared at the man. “What are you doing here?”
“I came here to talk to Spidey” Tony Stark calmly replied. “But it seems like I came in a bad moment”
The boy nodded as he sighed, feeling defeated and exhausted.
“Looks like your type” Tony observed, nodding to the hallways that could be seen from where they were standing. “I take it as she’s not your girlfriend, though”
“It’s complicated” Peter awkwardly accommodated his bag over his shoulder, doing his best to avert his eyes from the man.
It felt foolish and childish to be acting like that. To make a fool of himself all the time, just because he was in love with her. And to accidentally show his embarrassment in front of a man he admired so much like Tony Star made it all the worse.
“I’m smart” Tony smirked, looking him in the eye even if the boy wouldn’t reciprocate the gesture. “Try and explain it to me, maybe I can help”
“I’m in love with her” In spite of himself, he looked at the man as he talked. “But we’re really close friends, and I don’t want to mess it up. I don’t know if she feels something back, but even if she did I wouldn’t know how to tell her or have the courage to do so”
“You save people every day, kid” Tony chuckled a little, patting Peter in the back to encourage him. “Talking to a girl should be easy, especially if you’re already friends”
“It should…” Peter pursed his lips together in a pouty gesture.
“Look for something that you can do together and spend more time with her” Tony suggested with a self-satisfied smirk. “And then make the move”
“I can’t just do that!” The boy exclaimed, mortified and terrified at the same time.
“How would you know if she likes you back if you never try?”
“I know, but…”
“Here’s the deal” Almost secretively, Tony placed an arm over Peter’s shoulders and took him with him as he stepped away from the crowd. “You’re gonna do the following”
“Okay…” The boy was curious about the plan, so he intently listened.
“She’s obviously mad because you keep avoiding her, so you’re gonna use an excuse to explain why you do it”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know… something that you want to ask her but you’re embarrassed about”
“Like ‘I’m in love with you, Y/N’?”
“No, no” Tony caressed his chin pensive, pausing before he continued talking. “Something more trivial, a trifle”
“She teaches personal defense…” Peter suggested shyly, with a shrug. “Maybe I could tell her I was too embarrassed to ask her to teach me how to fight…”
“And that way, if she teaches you the two of you could spend more time together” Tony nodded in agreement and approval. “Yes, wonderful, marvelous!”
“So then what?”
“Then, you confess one day when she’s teaching you” He opened up his arms as if saying ‘voila’.
“That sounds great, Mr. Stark” Even though he knew it’d still take a lot of courage to pull that off, Peter was happy with the idea.
“I’m a genius after all” Tony winked at him, a smirk still plastered on his lips. “I’ll talk to Spidey later then”
While he left, Peter stood there thinking. Trying to develop the idea into a simple plan that could help him bond with Y/N again.
*
The next day, Peter walked into the hallway knowing he’d meet Y/N there. Even if it would be even harder than usual to talk to her because she was obviously still mad at him thanks to his smitten behavior.
That was why he kept repeating the words in his head, the short speech he had planned to apologize and talk to her. To try and put Tony’s plan in action and hopefully make up with her. Not only that, but perhaps even end up being a couple.
Just the thought of her having feelings for him as well, of kissing her and lovingly holding her in his arms made his stomach squirm with happiness.
He just reminded himself to breathe in order to settle the nerves and make his best to be confident and laid-back. When he felt ready, Peter approached Y/N since he had just spotted her standing next to her locker.
“Hi, Y/N” The boy mumbled once he was close enough to her.
She didn’t reply even if it was obvious by the slight glance over her shoulder that she had both heard and seen him. But wasn’t in the mood to talk to him.
“Um…” Peter hesitated bashfully. “Are you still mad?”
As all response, the girl shut her locker loudly and angrily.
“I take that as a yes…” He nibbled on his lip, forcing himself to take a deep breath when his heart slightly sped up. “Although the ignored calls and texts were message enough”
Turning around fuming mad, taking with her the mane of hair that flew around with the sudden movement, Y/N faced him.
“Yes, I’m still mad. And yes, I ignored you, Peter” He knew how angry she was not only by the tone and the fuming expression, but because of the fact that she hardly ever called him ‘Peter’. “Wanna know why?”
“Not really, I already know-“
“We’re supposed to be friends, yet you won’t stop ignoring me! So I decided to throw it right back at you and pretend you don’t exist”
The boy took yet another deep breath when she began to storm away and held her by the upper arm.
“I know, and you’re completely right!” He stated nervously, passing his tongue over his lips since his mouth felt dry. “I missed you, and I’m really sorry”
Reluctantly, Y/N glanced back at him with an irritated expression. She even crossed her arms over her chest to show how it wouldn’t be easy for her to forgive such extended evasive behavior.
“So what’s your excuse, Parker?” There she was again, not calling him Pete like she used to. On top of all, addressing him by his last name. And in such a pissed off fashion!
“That’s what I wanted to tell you about” He gulped, making a pause. It was even harder to talk to her when she was so angry at him. “I wanted to explain why I’ve been acting like that”
“I’m all ears” The girl showed him a fake and bitter grin before standing there emotionlessly.
Peter took a few seconds before speaking up. He needed to remember what he had been planning to tell her, even if most of the words he thought of easily slipped his mind, which turned blank.
“I was just too embarrassed to talk to you and ended up chickening out and avoiding you instead” The boy blurted out restlessly, shyly looking up to her.
“And why on earth would you be embarrassed to talk to me, Pete?” Even if her tone remained annoyed and a little loud, the fact that she called him Pete was a good sign.
“I just…” He tried to look her in the eye, but the sight flustered him and he had to avert his glance. “I-I wanted you to teach me how to fight… train me to know how to fight…”
“How can you be so smart and so stupid at the same time!” It wasn’t even a question, but an exasperated exclamation.
Cautiously, he looked up to her and grinned widely when he noticed the ever so light smile forming in the corner of her lips.
“So… would you do it? Teach me how to fight?” He came out as tiny and self-conscious without even meaning to.
“I guess it’d be fun to have an excuse to kick your ass” In a better mood, Y/N giggled and nudged him friendly.
“I’ll take that as a yes” Peter laughed nervously, nibbling on his bottom lip.
“See you later then, Pete” Before she walked away, the girl left a kiss on his cheek.
Reddened and slightly embarrassed, he looked down and sighed in relief when she left. The second after, a very wide grin of pure happiness found home on his lips.
*
Peter fell heavily to the floor, grunting as Y/N immobilized him. Training with her was more interesting than he thought.
“Too slow” She smiled a little as she held him against the floor.
Peter shut his eyes tight when the feeling of the extreme closeness overwhelmed him a little. How she was basically resting her whole weight over him in a skillful karate-like hold. Then her hair fell over his cheek and tickled his skin, sending capricious butterflies to his stomach that took his breath away.
“Pete, you okay?” She worried when she saw the gesture, thinking he winced in pain.
Hurriedly, she put her hair away from her face to take a better look at him. Then she restlessly shook his shoulder.
He opened his eyes and stared at her. His fear became true, because his stomach squirmed even more at the sight of her gorgeous eyes shining and bright smile. Again.
“Yeah…” He sighed dreamily. “I just got out of breath for a moment”
“Sorry” Y/N reached out to hold his hand tight and pull at it to get him to his feet. “I pushed your back onto the ground too hard”
“That must be it, yeah” Doing his best to avoid locking eyes, he awkwardly scratched the back of his head.
“One would think you’d have learned by now” The girl teased him a little. “After all those classes”
“Guess I just don’t have the courage” Peter felt frustrated, he was mad at himself.
After a whole week of training with her, he still didn’t have the guts to confess. To tell her how he felt, not even to knock her over for a change. Because he didn’t want to put himself in that position, put himself so close to Y/N.
Peter shook his head and rolled his eyes at himself. It was all so stupid and childish, it was getting ridiculous!
“You sure you’re okay? You keep staring at me and zoning out” She frowned and took a few steps closer to him, reaching out to touch the side of his head. “Maybe you hit your head”
He involuntarily shivered at the touch, which was enough for him. He was fed up with feeling that way and having to hide everything. Something clicked within him and he was determined as ever.
The boy took her hand in his and fiercely fixed his eyes on her. He embraced it all instead of pushing it away. Peter held her hand close to his heart and sighed as though he was freed from a great burden.
Y/N tilted her head slightly in confusion. She opened her mouth to talk, but he surprised her so much that she found herself speechless.
Nimble and agile, Peter swept her off and pushed her to the ground carefully in a karate-like movement.
“Pete!” The girl exclaimed, shocked yet delighted.
“You know, Y/N?” He whispered without realizing even if he was quickly talking, almost rambling. “The real reason why I was avoiding you was because I’m madly in love with you. I’ve been dying to do this, so I’m gonna do it but you’re in your right to slap me afterwards if you want to”
“Wh-“ She began to speak, but was interrupted by Peter’s lips over hers.
None of them knew how long they were in that position for. Just that it lasted a few heartbeats, but that wasn’t too reliable since their hearts were speeding.
Then Peter went back to reality and stood up, taking Y/N with him as he did.
The boy just stared at her expectantly while she pursed her lips in silence.
He let out a huge breath that he had been holding in when she chuckled and dragged her glance over to him.
“Peter Parker!” Her tone was mildly annoyed as well as reprimanding. “Have you been lying to me about not knowing how to fight?”
“Is that really all you’ve got to say about it? No comments about the other thing whatsoever?” He laughed sarcastically. “You know, the kiss we just had?”
“So much for the genius” Y/N took a few steps closer to him, almost… flirtatiously. “You’re so stupid for someone so smart”
“You keep saying that…” He eyed her suspiciously, confused as to why she behaved like that.
“Don’t you think I knew how you felt all along?” The girl giggled at his behavior, amused by his surprise and shyness. “You aren’t exactly secretive about it…”
Defeated, Peter hung his head low in desperation. All the courage and determination he once had completely faded away. It was back to being unable to hold her glare again.
“Figures…”
“I never said that was something bad, though” Y/N, still giggly and flirtatious, held his chin and made him look up at her.
“What are you… Are you… Are you actually saying you like me back?”
She shrugged, coquettish, and showed him a charming and sweet smile.
“We’ll have to see” Without letting go of him, Y/N briefly pecked his lips.
Before she pulled away, however, she swept his feet so he fell to the floor. She giggled as she watched him lying there.
Dumbfounded and confused, but with a stupidly happy grin on his lips.
#imagine#oneshot#reader insert#spiderman#spiderman imagine#spiderman oneshot#peter parker#peter parker imagine#peter parker oneshot#tom holland#marvel imagine#marvel oneshot#requested#marvel#peter parker x reader#faves
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Heart In My Hands: A Starshipping Oneshot
I’m participating in @ygoexchange, and I was paired with @yusei-fudo. So, I made this fic for him based on this art of Yusei he drew: http://yusei-fudo.tumblr.com/post/154617698415/yusei-fudo-yusei-fudo-has-literally-stolen-my
I know he ships Starshipping (Yusei x Judai), so that’s the direction I decided to go with this fic. I really hope I didn’t screw it up, because....um.....I’ve never actually seen GX. ^^; I’m sorry. T_T I hope you enjoy this! :D
"Are all people from the future so stoic?" Judai asked randomly as he and Yusei lay sprawled out in the grass on the hilltop. They'd gone for a ride on Yusei's D-Wheel after he showed up in Judai's timeline (of course the young inventor had built a time machine to see his crush again) and found this place. It offered a perfect view of Duel Academy in the distance.
"No," Yusei shook his head, chuckling softly. "My friend Crow is louder, like you. Especially when he's arguing with my other friend, Jack."
"You should bring them with you next time you visit this century," Judai suggested. "I'd love to meet them."
"Maybe I will," Yusei said noncomitally.
Judai frowned.
"What's the matter?" Yusei asked, sitting up.
"That stoicness," Judai sighed. "It means I never really know what you're thinking."
"Well.....I think I like you a lot," Yusei confessed. "And I'd like to keep meeting you like this, so I can get to know you better."
"By like this, do you mean, alone?" Judai wondered.
"Is there something wrong with that?" Yusei asked innocently.
"I don't know if prejudice like that no longer exists in the future," Judai explained. "I hope it doesn't. But, in my century.....some people might not like seeing two boys on a date."
"No, there are homphobes in the century I'm from, too," Yusei confessed. "But, that doesn't mean I would be scared to be seen with you."
"So, you wouldn't mind doing something that makes it obvious we like each other like that?" Judai asked.
"What did you have in mind?" Yusei wondered.
"How about just shouting, 'I LOVE YOU, JUDAI-KUN'?" Judai suggested, laughing.
"What?" Yusei reddened. "There's no way I could suddenly shout something like that! It's embarassing."
"Ok, what about just, like.....signing it then?" Judai offered.
"I don't know sign language," Yusei protested.
"It doesn't have to be real sign language," Judai shrugged. "Just, try making a heart shape with your fingers. Like this."
He demonstrated the gesture, presssing his knuckles and thumbs together.
"L-like that?" Yusei copied him uncertainly.
"Yeah," Judai grinned. "When I do that in public later, do it back."
"I-I'll try," Yusei said hesitantly.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Eventually, the pair drove back to the Academy's campus. Yusei dropped Judai off in front of the Osiris Red dorm.
"Hey!" Shou shouted from the balcony, waving down at his roommate. "Misawa-san came over to see you!"
A boy in a Ra Yellow jacket stood beside Shou and waved.
"Hi, Shou-kun! Hi, Misawa-san!" Judai waved back. "Alright, Yusei, I gotta go. Let's do this again soon, ok?"
"Ok," Yusei smiled.
Judai made the heart gesture with his hands. Yusei's eyes flicked nervously to Shou and Misawa, who were still staring down at them.
"C'mon, do it back," Judai encouraged.
Yusei wanted to please his date, but the stares of Judai's friends were making him feel anxious and self-conscious. "Do I have to?"
"The guys already saw me do it," Judai pleaded. "If you don't do it back, I'll just look weird."
"I'm sorry, Judai," Yusei sighed, hiding his red face in his hand. "It's just too awkward."
"Yusei, no fair!" Judai pouted.
"I'm.....I'm not good at expressing my emotions, ok?" Yusei argued. "I don't do public displays of affection. I'm sorry."
"Are you ashamed of me?" Judai demanded.
"No! Of course not!" Yusei insisted. Fuck. He was really fucking up. But.....No. He still couldn't do something that would make him look so silly.
"I...I need to go," Yusei said awkwardly, and got on his D-Wheel and drove away, leaving a confused and hurt Judai in the dust.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Two Days Later
Yusei had hacked a phone to be able to send text messages across the time stream. He sent a message to Judai: Hi. I'm sorry about what happened the other day. I just got self-conscious. Are you still mad?
Depends, Judai texted back. Will you come over to my century and make it up to me?
I can't today, Yusei frowned as he fiddled with the engine of his D-Wheel. I'm getting ready to enter a dueling tournament.
I wish I could watch you duel, Judai said wistfully.
You can, Yusei typed with a smile. It took some time for me to figure out how to make it work, but if you follow this link, you should be able to watch the live stream of my duel.
Even though it's being broadcast from a news channel that, from my perspective, won't exist for another thirty years? Judai wondered.
Yup :) Yusei replied. Inserting emojis into texts didn't come naturally to him, but he was trying to be more expressive, for Judai's sake. He really did feel bad that he'd been too chicken to reciprocate the hand gesture. He hoped today, he could make Judai understand.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
At home in his Osiris Red room, Judai stared up at the ceiling, frowning.
"What's the matter?" Shou asked.
"Yusei wants me to watch him duel," Judai explained.
"So, are you going to?" Shou wondered.
"I don't know," Judai mumbled. "He really upset me the other day. He's just so...cold sometimes. He acts like he doesn't care about anything at all."
"I think he cares about you," Shou disagreed.
"I know he does," Judai admitted. "I just wish he wasn't afraid to show it. In front of everyone. Because I'm not. I got no shame. I'll shout my gay crush on Yusei from the rooftops."
"That's the spirit," Shou chuckled. "But, not everybody is as fearless as you. For some people, saying stuff like that is hard, even if you really mean it."
"True, I guess," Judai considered. He decided he would tune into the live stream after all.
Unfortunately, he'd dithered so much that he'd already missed Yusei's first match.
"YUSEI FUDO EFFORTLESSLY DEFEATS CHALLENGER ENJO MUKURO!" the announcer recapped. "Fudo-san, is there anything you'd like to say to our viewers at home right now?" He stuck a microphone in Yusei's face as he braked his D-Wheel and removed his helmet.
"Um......" Yusei hesitated. "There's nothing I'd really like to say, but there's something I'd like to do."
"Oh?" the announcer replied. "And what is that?"
Yusei looked into the camera and took a deep breath. "This is for you, Judai," he announced. And then, in front of the announcer, his opponent, and a whole crowd of spectators, plus thousands more people who were watching the live stream, he did it. He blushed, a wry smile on his face, as he bent his fingers into the shape of a heart.
Judai blushed and almost dropped his phone in shock. "He....he really did it!" he gasped. He was so moved he wanted to cry.
"Wow," Shou noted, peering down at the screen. "He must really love you, Judai."
"You know what," Judai said through happy tears, "I really love him, too."
#my fic#starshipping#yusei fudo#judai yuki#Yugioh 5Ds#Yugioh GX#this may or may not have been based on a scene from the shoujo anime Peach Girl
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YO IN HONOR OF PERSONA 5 COMIN OUT SOON tell us bout your fan-made Persona and how it develops o3o
This has been sitting in my inbox for a minute, I am sorry Banny;; haha But yeah, for people who don’t know, I have a fan made persona/character from awhile ago, that is a mild heavy self insert. It’s probably gonna be a long response so...queue read more.
So, let’s start of with the basics. We have my character, his name is Shotaro Ikeda, but he goes by Sho for short. He lives in Singapore and has two other siblings, an older brother and younger one. He speaks fluent English and Japanese (As he’s half Japanese and Half English, but he spent more time with his Japanese side of the family) He suffers big time from depression and is on medication, but when people meet him they think he’s super charming and like there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him because he’s so cheerful??? (This isn’t until he’s 17 tho, before hand he’s “normal” by society standards)
His story starts when he’s 15 and he awakens to his persona (a lesser form of Minotaur that I’m not entirely sure about yet haha) in an alternate universe parallel to our own. Like most first timers, he freaks out, but a team of older and more experienced Persona users find him and help him deal with the pain and confusion. They take him under their wing, as persona users are rare, and explain to him everything. Eventually, they train him and he becomes a pretty useful comrade and can handle himself. Two years go by and of course he develops a super close relationship with the others, even developing a love interest with one of the girls (who, sadly, rejects him because of the age difference, shes like 23 and he’s like 17 when he confesses, but he accepts it and doesn’t stop loving her anyways). One night tho, while they’re hunting Shadows and stuff, they encounter a super powerful Shadow, much more than all of them can handle. The Shadow kills off everyone EXCEPT Sho, and while Sho is so instantly traumatized, especially over the love of his life dying right in front of him, he realizes he’s next if he doesn’t run away ASAP. So he does. Now, with them having died in an alternate universe, everything about them in reality is erased. Only HE remembers who they are and what they did. Even their parents have no idea who their own kid were, so when Sho comes back crying, screaming, being a complete wreck, no one understands why??? Because those people never existed. Sho starts to question if he even knew them himself and he slowly loses his sanity. Now here’s where his final Persona starts to take shape.He slowly starts to develop his depression, constantly guilty tripping himself for running away and not being strong enough to do anything or save even one of them. He can’t exactly openly mourn them, so he has to bottle it up, or let it out behind closed doors. What he thought was a blessed power, was his ultimate curse now. He was alone, as he didn’t know any other Persona users. Every day he’d think, “I should of died with them.” “I don’t deserve to live.” “What if everyone forgot about me?” etc. super bad thoughts that tore him apart. He felt lost and in the dark, everything was so empty, like he was the only person in the world. Every day was a maze that he walked around aimlessly in, always hitting a dead end at the end of it. He wanted to forget what happened, forget everything entirely, so he turned to hardcore drugs and drinking. He thought it might block out the inner voice in his head that was constantly trying to tell him to end it. Eventually he does attempt suicide, but his older brother finds him in time to stop the bleeding. At that point he opens up about his obvious depression and his family gets him into a hospital and shit.
During his time in the hospital, about 6 months??? He learns that, him being alive is proof enough that his comrades lived and that him living IS their legacy. As long as he remembered them, they lived. He stops running from his emotions and accepts his fate in the world, looking at the maze before him as something that can be conquered instead of feared and he’d do his best to fight whatever came at him. Even if he was alone, he had to fight to save those that also felt alone. Which allows him to awaken to his Minotaur Persona and obtain the Strength Arcana.
He gets better, not entirely, but he becomes a functioning human again by 19. He moves to Japan to study abroad. There he meets Tokiya, who is another persona user, who also thought he was the only one, and they develop a deep, deep romance that Sho never thought could happen again. BUT--I won’t go into that part of his story lol But yeah, the Minotaur represents the darkness/depression inside of him. His depression will never truly leave him, but if he can at least fight back against it, its good enough, even if it means doing it alone. The Minotaur is probably like some of the Persona’s in P3 that actually tried killing their hosts, so when Sho’s depression gets bad, he sees visions of the Minotaur trying to strangle him, but he fights back against it. I’m not sure if he ever lets it take over him at some point, especially after him and Tokiya break up, I guess that’s left open for now haha
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