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bitbrumal · 1 year

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long post on diluc’s reclusive tendencies & specific pain re: kaeya.

diluc’s persistent agony regarding kaeya’s secret, is not a petty refusal / inability to admit his own wrongs unless he gets to blame kaeya too. it’s not even necessarily blame in the sense of deeming kaeya’s lies / deceit wrong. by now, he has accepted that the cards his little brother has been dealt necessitate deceit - even of him, especially of him. for a long time he wished he could not forgive it. now he’s grateful.

it’s the agony of knowing that to the one person who only ever saw him as him. who didn’t see ‘diluc ragnvindr’ as a concept, a thing to respond to the way one must to those with power & status. [ “please don’t lie, adelinde. you don’t have to lie. it’s okay-” “you are very dear to all of us, young master. please don’t fret.” & she’s not allowed to speak ‘out of turn’, to tell him how she feels, to be a real person to him--& it’s fine to her because this is a job. it was diluc’s private life. he has so many strangers in his private life- ] the only person who didn’t lie to him about the things that matter: who loved him without conditions. crepus changed diluc. kaeya changed for diluc - changed from a frightful boy who didn’t want anything into one who dared to hold his hand. but also, less positively, would be the one to apologise or take the blame not bc diluc ragnvindr but bc diluc my only friend who i love dearly please don’t leave. ( diluc’s guilt at seeing that fear would always turn them into a feedback loop of no i’m sorry’s. )

but now?

from the very start - especially to kaeya, he was only diluc ragnvindr.

to this day diluc doesn’t really know who the fuck he is, torn to & fro by everything everyone wanted of him; & all the ways he had to behave in order to get some kind of honesty out of the people who approached him. but he does know that the only times he felt... easiest, felt most like he was flowing from some point inside himself instead of hoisting himself into a corset held out to him by others... were always, & only, with kaeya. because kaeya was awful, in many ways. he was mean, & cruel, & took to his vulnerabilities like a goddamn vampire - until crepus sat them both down & calmly explained that kaeya was taught by cruelty, & that he learned to be cruel to people he wanted to be close to. that it did not work that way here, that he would lose diluc if he continued to act like that-- & diluc, gullible little boy that he was, never ever saw any reason not to believe anyone. it didn’t make sense to his brain that words would be spoken that weren’t true. but you pick up on people’s feelings, too.

the boy who taught him the simple ways people lie, so he wouldn’t be taken advantage of so easily anymore. the boy who held his hand & laughed with him or shared his resentment at crepus’ conditional love - even if diluc’s was buried deep. kaeya... where diluc ragnvindr was a person instead of some kind of trophy. father wanted him to be excellent. the staff that fucking raised him wanted him to play the part required of him so they could play theirs, instead of begging for sincerity - he is only their job, only their distant most eligible bachelor, the uncrowned king, lord ragnvindr, diluc ragnvindr. he doesn’t fucking exist. by now he cannot find himself at all anymore.

the only one who looked at him &, instead of wanting the corset demanded the truth - who saw his vulnerabilities & his everything & engaged those instead... kaeya, who took to the real him like it was the only obvious thing. that orphaned boy was the only place in diluc’s world where he existed. & that wasn’t always comfortable, but it kept him aware - that he wasn’t the thing father made of him, even as he lost whatever the fuck else he might’ve been.

but they only got that close- every actual reason for them to be close, was that kaeya had to... he was just a target.

& now that, due to everything beyond kaeya as well as his confession, diluc’s literal ability to trust people is non-existent? he can’t talk to kaeya because he cannot believe a word out of his mouth - hates himself for wanting to trust blindly. he doesn’t want to hate blindly anymore either, but he’s so inherently... trusting. it’s one or the other; he must compensate so hard just to not feel like he’s selling himself cheaply again. & he can’t. he’s too simple - his mind doesn’t work this way & neither does his heart. he loves, & he trusts, especially because there is nothing left to love or trust. & even when he knows people’s cruelty he just trusts them to be that way... there’s no point demanding insincerity from people. let them lie, if that’s what they’re like. if only they wouldn’t ask him to play a part too.

diluc’s,,, autistic & very, very kind. it just doesn’t click in his head. things pretending to be what they are not makes no natural sense. he cannot... abide by the white lies & not so white lies people tell. the truth, no matter how painful, is never a cruelty to him - but it is demanded of him to lie at every turn. little lord ragnvindr, etiquette. the perfect fucking gentleman, & nothing else.

he keeps kaeya at a distance because he knows how much he needs him still, how little he cares for being loved truly- because it’s not a real option & he’s had to live with that forever already. his own father did not love him - he’s used to it. & yet, if he yielded like he knows he will if kaeya insists on continuing the lie - it will also break what’s left of his heart.

what distance continues to exist between them is because there was always distance, apparently, & diluc just no longer wishes to lie to himself. to have to. let everyone else; at least he won’t. let them be vapid & meaningless, & he to them - but not he to himself. if he is to find himself at all he cannot continue to be what people ask of him. all they give him is the negative space that can be filled in by the part he’s supposed to play. so then, he’ll simply not fill any of it in at all. he’s going to lie to himself again anyway; he cannot keep this up. but he wishes he could. & he tries so hard. & if he must be a cold, distant bastard to someone who’s already made it clear that they’re not... close, anyway. then why doesn’t he get to? everyone always cheats him. no-one ever cares - especially when they say they do. why does he have to keep allowing it? he just wants to find some way to speak to kaeya that won’t involve being lied to or humiliating himself -- blindly hating OR blindly trusting, & he cannot be anything but blind around him now. in general diluc finds it difficult to understand people. having no-one who speaks frankly with him does not help that in the slightest ( kaeya was the only one who taught him to see, not to play along ), so he’s just... isolating himself in hopes of being in the only company that won’t lead him astray. but he can’t heal, either.

& kaeya can’t tell him the truth. so he can’t try to heal - which is ignoring the fact he quite likely doesn’t deserve to be healed by him. ( not unless kaeya decides otherwise. but that is exactly that sort of ‘kindness’ people would feign in his direction - play along with the delusional young master, don’t burst his bubble. that’s rude. if the young master says your his friend then you are. somehow that makes sense to them? it does. because they go home to their real families. it’s professionalism & apathy; their job. like a customer service smile. i love you. )

& if kaeya actually did speak plainly. he will be telling the only truth that isn’t too good to be true - he just.. knows he won’t be able to handle that. kaeya was the one thing that made diluc want to live, because he was the one thing that made it possible for him to exist within his own life. & now, all of that, is the same simple lie everyone’s always told him. & the only reasons he fell & falls for it is because there is something wrong with his mind that makes him gullible. a fool, forever.

yeah, he’s quite done being around people.

p.s.: so in my portrayal, ‘gentleman diluc’ is fake as fuck & he doesn’t actually feel connected to anyone who he acts that way around. if he’s being seamlessly polite you know he doesn’t feel like a connection is even possible lmao so u get gentleman diluc bc that is all u want & he’s tired of asking for anything else.

#monthly btw diluc is supremely fucked up in silent lonely suicidal ways & he is incapable of truly hating kaeya but that's the scary part #- post.#hc ✦ diluc #idc if this was totally coherent it's 4am lol #anyway i love how deliciously complex & inherently tragic this all is lol #long post #imagine having literally no way to create a reason to live in ur life lmfao. 'live for urself' BITCH I DON'T EXIST #HOW ???#it's better than it was but it's still so far below 'okay'.#& being in touch with yourself finally when uh... your in so much pain? b o y.#for a child to have to accept their parents neither loved nor cared to see them is... insanely painful #& diluc's such a sensitive man too !!! he feels everything intensely /already/. god #anywya he could use a friend but he sure doesn't have one does he? Lol.

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queen-scribbles · 1 year

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Tagged by @haledamage to do this ship meme, and Ardrali won out of the...four or six things I was considering. 😂

no-pressure tagging.... @starsandskies @undyingembers @actualanxiousswampwitch @shynmighty (and a tagback for Rhi if you have another ship you wanna do 😘)

#tagged #endrali jade #arcann tirall #ardrali #i have never enneagram typed before so take those with a grain of salt 😅#the pickles thing is not bc endrali is too shy btw #it's bc she's gonna go ''it's okay i don't wanna make trouble i can take them off''#and arcann's insistent if she asked for no pickles they should Get It Right #do you KNOW how tempted i was to put Green Skinned Space Babe as a trope??#bc even if she's blue it's technically true but idk if it counts when the space babe is the protag in a 'verse where it's not uncommon #for people to be blue/green/purple etc #neither of them really cooks #endrali probably knows the basics if she HAD to #they're both overprotective and spoil each other fight me #aaaand to close off the rambling(though i will continue if nudged) fonts are stay classy for endrali and something wild for arcann

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tiixij · 10 months

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I need to meet some transgender gay communists irl nowwww

#thinking abt contacting the ml group on campus when the semester starts but also. hmmm the terrors (entirely irrational anxiety that I can't #do anything about)#It's so fucked up how I can tell myself exactly why I don't need to be worried about basic things but then it just makes the anxiety worse #Also meds haven't helped and neither has therapy so. Like what am I supposed to do? Live in fear and die alone?#I'm not upset rn btw I'm just really really annoyed #Like the only thing that works for me is actually doing the thing a few times like getting used to it or whatever #But the only way I'm able to do that is if I'm with someone in familiar with but literally the only people in familiar with are my parents.#So basically. I can only do things with my mom like I'm a toddler or something #Okay now I'm a little upset bc I'm thinking about how I haven't had any irl friends in like. Five years??#And even then I never spent time with any of them outside of school once they all started making other friends and then it turned out I was #incapable of doing that!#Okay whatever I'm gonna try to get back to sleep now -_-

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lizstiel · 10 months

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#ha ha. hahahahahaha.#found out someone I’ve been secretly in love with for over a decade #also feels the same way about me #and we both thought the other didn’t reciprocate #so we never said anything but like #it was obviously there #had a three hour convo with them last night about it like #oh so we’re in love with each other and have been since we were kids okay #cool. cool cool cool cool cool.#neither of us are in a position to make this happen btw. it’s extremely complicated #tell me why this all happened on the fucking 5th.#I’ll delete this eventually I’m just #ooooooh my god. oh my GOD.

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suddenrundown · 1 year

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y’all remember boston rob and amber from survivor what was THAT about

#love is real and i know because two weirdos fell in love with each other and neither one brushed their teeth for 39 days #survivor #okay the reason im thinking about them is because me and my roommate were showing our friend what survivor was cuz shes never seen a single #episode somehow #she put on season 1 which by the way SUCKED like they def did not hit their stride until season 2 but i digress #i haven't properly watched survivor in ages but i was an avid watcher back in the day #so every time anyone brings up survivor i immediately think about boston rob and amber #that was a formative watching experience in some way that i cant describe lol #middle school me was like why are these people kissing on my tv screen but somehow i internalized it with such fondness lol IDK ITS WEIRD #jeff probst hasn't forgotten either btw

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genderqueer-karma · 1 year

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oh this is sick and evil... why would they do this to me

#yo it's d :)#au of the soaps #listen okay i was so distraught in the original mess and drama save that i started all the way over and now these mfs are vampires #but don't fret! the original mess and dramas still exist in another saved game.#also i think the sibling in question is the new addition of the science baby so jot that down #(manfred and his wife had a science baby purely because i wanted to see what the interaction did.#technically speaking: in game neither of them should be able to have had another biological child but they did ??)#the science baby's name is albert btw. i might get him snatched up by cps if i'm feeling bored #and just to be crystal clear: the hurt sentiment is toward manfred which is why this is particularly tragic to me #...something something aai1-4...

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iintervallum · 2 months

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#vague post i guess about something very insular that for some reason i keep looking at #with these i guess two specific circles of people that for various reasons i dislike #and it's like very much an unspotable force vs immovable object situation #of two groups that refuse to accept they have blindspots and have made mistakes and instead double down #I'm not going to say which group is worse because they both suck for different reasons #all I'm going to say is when your arguments about racism and transmisogny do not seem include twoc in the convo then it rings hollow #because I'm curious i can't help but drop in on both sides and rolling my eyes because neither group seems to get it #this has seemingly been going on for the past two years as well like maybe just let it go??#that person is no longer even on tumblr why does she matter so much #due to Tumblr being Tumblr the whole inciting incident is wrapped up in he said she said because some blogs have been deleted #so all we have is the final “you can't call that a genocide”outburst that happened 2 years ago #not much info leading upto it so it's unclear who is really telling the truth because i looked into it and all i could find was that #not defending her btw but i think it solidified one groups resolve to continue what they've been doing because they happended to be right #the 1 time--as if it makes the targeted harrasment in the following years and guilt by association okay #and the other groups constant down playing and continued ignorance over why what she said was wrong isn't okay either #all I'm saying is people are not going to change their minds easily and arguing senselessly with stubborn people isn't going to work #I'm debating just blocking all of them but I'm still just curious to see the trainwreck of how they keep beating a dead horse #aster.txt

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romeoandromeo · 7 months

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#bro my boss is wack afffff 😭#he really thought he could get away with paying me $12/hr for being a manager...#was making $13 before but he lowered pay bc business is suffering. WHICH IS HIS FAULT BTW. and the manager was making $14 #well now everyone makes $12 #and i confronted him over text and was like don't you think it would be fair to reinstate my $13/hr since I'm doing manager work now?#and he was like i do pay from my pocket blah blah blah #and i said okay so you're going to make me do extra work and not even compensate me for it? I'm literally only asking for a dollar more/hr #this and that and he's finally like okay I'll raise your pay but want business to get better this and that #and i straight up said to him people are going to other smoke shops because we run out of what they come for and never reorder stuff #i said I'd like to see business get better too and I'll do what i can to help but I'm not doing more work for no extra pay #so he's going to give me a raise #scariest conversation I've ever had btw because like #he's kind of a douche?? and like he sucks at running this business and he's 100% doing some really shady shit #so like i was worried i was going to lose my job tonight. not because he would fire me. he needs me because the other 2 barely work #and he's not going to come in and work himself bc i guess he thinks he's too good for that or whatever #but if he didn't want to raise my pay i was going to quit on the spot. and he doesn't want to lose me because then he'd have no employees #because both of my other coworkers have other jobs. one has her own business the other works elsewhere and comes in only once a week #and they will BOTH leave his ass too because neither of them NEED this job and have openly stated they would leave if shit got too screwy #so if i left I'm 90% sure they'll leave too once they hear about why I left #and he'll have a sad closed store until he can get someone willing enough to put up with his bullshit to get on board #I'm not the employee to step on anymore!!#i WILL leave! i don't have another job lined up but I'll fucking find one if i needed to because I'm not doing bullshit

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crazilust · 3 days

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What main character energy should you embody for this next chapter

From left to right : Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3.

Pile 1

confirmation/what’s coming instinctively : Brown eyes, brown, guitar, vynils, green shoes, docs, bangs, rings (lots of them, Virgo/Earth energy, hardwood floors, The Emperor, Goddess energy, Water sign, Water dom, Loves water, loves nature, loves animals, Names that start with a J, F, P, S

the message :

You should embody the main character that moves out of her town to start her character ark. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll physicall leave your town (although, you might!) but you definitely need to leave some things behind. I’m sensing friends, maybe even family members. Your environement is getting too small for you, which is maybe why I’m getting small town vibes. You are someone that needs a lot of recognition, even from yourself and you’re not getting any where you are right now. Are you proud of yourself? I doubt it. But you need to make the proper steps to find your place in this universe and there is a place for you but you need to look for it! I see you in a new apartment, maybe a bit lonely at first, but it’s because it’ll be the first time you really get to know yourself and discovering your true self. You have been repressing your true taste, your true interests, your true self with those people you’ve been surrounding yourself with. It’s not healthy and it’s getting dangerous at this point cause you’re starting to lose yourself. Leave. That would be my advice for you.

Pile 2

confirmation/ what i’m getting instinctively: Fighter, Orange is the new black, Piper Chapman, Blue, Glacier, Grey, long hair, fake smile, dimples, the emperor Reversed, bad relationships with caregivers, siblings, many friends, Aquarius, Pisces, car, driving, roadtrip, name that starts with M, N, X, V.

the message :

Woah! Okay! Love this energy, but hard to catch honestly. You don’t like being seen, huh? It’s okay, me neither! The journey you should embark on is the one where you’re gonna get thrown into an environment that is completely unfamiliar to you. A bit like pile 1 in the sense that it’s not something you’re used to, but contrary to that pile, you don’t decide to go into this environment, you’ll get thrown into it. I can sense you have some sort of anger issues and this will be the perfect environment to finally let it out. I can feel that although you have a very polished appearance, you actually feel like a wild animal inside. In this new environment, you’ll finally face yourself as you really are. You won’t be able to fake it, or to act like you’ve always done it. It won’t be possible anymore. You’ll have to be your real self, even tho it might disappoint people around you. Oh, you probably don’t want that. Too bad, because you will disappoint people, but you’ll make some real connections out there. When you’ll get out of that environment (because yes, it is temporary I feel), you’ll look back and won’t even recognize yourself. I think you’re quite excited for that. Deep down.

Pile 3

confirmation/what i’m getting instinctively: Twilight, Bella Swan, break up, torture, painful love, toxic love, mean, smiles with bad intentions, agenda, skinny, long hands, pale (or pale for your ethnicity), doesn’t like their hair, Aries/Taurus/Sag/Pisces, Fire dom, Neptune dom, Jupiter Dom, lucky but fails to see it

the message : Oh I’m getting major Bella Swan vibes lmao. Not necessarily her temperament, but mostly what she’s going thru. You’ve been thru a bad breakup and that person has left you empty inside. You find yourself staring at the window, and wondering why it ended the way it did. Stop obsessing over the past. You’re at a point of your journey where you need to change gear. You cannot keep going like that or you’ll litteraly become a shell of yourself. Get up of your bed, take a deep breath, take a walk. Anything. But reminiscing on someone that is gone, won’t do any good. Btw, they’re gone now but they’ll come back. I know you’re excited, but they’ll come back when you won’t care and then you’ll be like : “huh, i don’t even see what I saw in you anymore”. It’ll be a very satisfying feeling for you. In the meantime, cause you’re not there yet, focus on healing. See some friends, get into a hobby. Anything that could take your mind off of him. Why do you fixate over him? Was he something he did? Or didn’t do? Focus on moving on. That’s your journey for now. That’s the part of movie where we all root and get excited for the protagonist to get on her two feet. That’s your part. You got this.

• 🧡🍯👑🐰🪀 •

and that’s all from me folks, thank you so much 🧡

#tarot tips #tarot spread #free tarot reading #free tarot #pac reading #pick a pile reading #tarot pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #tarot spreads #daily tarot #tarot reading #tarot witch #astro community #astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology notes #birth chart

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thecherrygod · 2 years

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man i am still feeling guilty i had to wake up the guy that let me stay at his place the other night (.. and his gf) so he would let me leave his appartment but he was so kind he was like “oh yeah sure let me find my keys. oh also jic the way to the subway you said you have to take is over that way, travel safe!” very neat guy

#my posts #also i am still thinking about his cats but thats only barely related to this #also dancing with him was nice its good to dance a thing that you barely need to know what youre doing with someone who actually knows #how it is #OH ALSO i danced this thing with a friend of his idk the guy but youre drunk you will do whatever #tall guy. or maybe normal height idk i am short. and i made him spin and he looked a bit surprised but like he enjoyed that maybe #so reminder just bc a guy is tall i doesnt mean he cant spin while dancing let them have that fun #............ ah also i am still riding the 'man i also danced this thing with my crush huh' feeling #like it was so fun bc there neither of us knew what we were doing sdiughsd that makes it very good too #.... only stopping bc you crash into someone else and you just begin apologizing can be okay if the other person is fine btw #i wanna go out with these people again i hadnt gone out like this in like 4 years damn

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crystallilytarot · 3 months

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You and your future spouse first impression of each other. Choose a word (these are erasers btw)

(can be future partner too, if you don't want marriage)

Ps. It's supposed to be about impressions, but somehow the cards showed me a story too, but I hope you will still like it!

Pile 1 - power

Your fs

It feels like you will be with friends /family / colleagues. Even if it's in the workplace, it will be a lunch break, a company party or something lighter feeling. And you are talking, laughing and your future partner will see you, and like bumm, they will know right away that you are special. Not exactly love at first sight, but instant attraction. And not even lust, it feels more like they will find you very intelligent, an interesting individual. You probably have a good sense of humour too. If it's in the workplace, they will try to do something, to work with you. You seems like someone who is good at teamwork. They will have instantly protective feelings about you. A little bit like a protector, but they will admire you from afar. A secret admiror, but nothing creepy. I think they will just need some time. And they won't even realize at first, that it's not just they find you interesting, but they find you very sexy too. The sexual attraction is there too from the beginning so it's a little funny, how they don't notice this. You know, like in fanfictions, where everybody knows that the main character has a crush on someone. Everybody but them lol

You

Okay, so you are the same. Kinda. But I think you will know a little earlier that you are attracted to this person, but you would think that it's impossible. In the very beginning, you probably won't even notice them, it feels like they are not really your usual type, or maybe they are, but still at first you will think that they aren't. So I mean, maybe a little different from your type in the outside, but in the inside, they are everything you ever wanted. After there's a period where you will feel really in love with them, but you will be like, it doesn't matter, it's only a platonic love. A little bit of a feeling like the company rules don't let people date on that workplace, or they are in a higher position than you. Or just simply you both feel like the other person is not interested in you. But in the end somehow you will be together. Can be that some friends will help you or just your guardian angels, because you seems like can't even believe that this person is really interested in you.

Pile 2 - dream

Your fs

They will be very attracted to you, right from the beginning. And they seems like a confident person, so I think they will try to invite you to a date pretty early. But either you will say no, or the date won't be so good. There's a little separation here. I feel like their intentions are genuine but somehow they don't act like it. In the beginning, but later you will be together. I feel that they are confident but you seems out of their league, and they find you so sexy, they will ruin this thing between you. Can be that you already know them, but you were too young, or the time / place were bad, but later you will reconcile.

You

There's an instant attraction from your side too, and I think you will feel that you have a lot of common things. You will actually see behind their behaviour and you will feel that they are a loving person. But still something isn't right. But I feel that both of you need some time to heal something, learn something before you meet again. The potencial is there from the beginning, but it feels like it wasn't real love back than, but if you meet again, it's so much better. Like 2 people who are emotionally available, and in peace with themself, so they can give love too.

Pile 3 - magic

Your fs

It's strange because it feels like neither of you are looking for love at that time. Something bad happened or just they are busy with other things in their life. They are in their journey to be a better person, maybe in their job too, but in their life in general too. So it feels a little sudden meeting. You two maybe already know each other. It's just for some of you. But for everybody, you both will feel like you are know each other for a long time. This person will feel like you are their safe place. It's possible that it will be a love at first sight. They will just know, that they want to be with you right away. They will think that you are like a sunshine in their life. Something like a child, who can feel joy almost innocently. A happy, optimistic feeling. And they will know right away that they will want to be with you long term. If you want children, there's that feeling too that they will know that they want a family with you.

You

So there's a little difficulties in your life too when you are meeting this person. But they will bring back the hope to your life. Instant sexual attraction from your side too. And probably love at first sight here too. But it seems like you are more of a rational person or you just don't believe that it's really happening for you. So you will fight with your feelings a little at first. Maybe it's because of past bad experiences. And you will find that person very attractive, so you will think that they probably have a lot of suitor/ a lot of people interested in them. A little bit of a f boy/girl thing, but they are not. I think they are a charming person, quite friendly and open, but they actually want a stable relationship, something meaningful.

#free tarot #pick a card #tarot #pick a pile

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palskippah · 9 days

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Hi! I give you this Stobotnik fankid I made a while ago :'y

She's Sofia --or Ivania or some other name ending in 'ia'-- Robotnik (coolest last name)

It's a compilation and also there's some Stone for practice bc I have no idea how to draw him pipipi Eggman is easier bc it's just his Sonic Boom design (I love it)

Some stuff about this universe under the cut!

(Btw if there's incongruencies is bc I can't make up my mind about the facts whwhw)

-Robotnik and Stone are married, very much married. Cartoon villains in love, I love that for them.

-["MARTHA I'M COMING HOME SWEETIE-"] Mixing up the movie things and the whatever's going on in the Sonic Boom, so Robotnik was gone for eight months and when he's back she's already born.

>Also the drawing is a reference to Icarly's "Whatcha got there?" "A smoothie" but she was clearly asking about the ostrich Spencer brought with him.

>Alternatively, Eggman's there and they go through the journey together yippiee. Choosing names, making evil parenting plans and whatever, being their idiot selves.

(After celebrating because they're good news actually) "I want a boy or a girl-" (Eggman) "Yeah me too." (Stone) "-and we should name them a single, worth of remembering name! Like... Eggette for a girl and Eggson for a boy." "I'm not letting you name them any of that, doctor..." "Okay, then how about Beyonce for a girl and-"

>They wouldn't have kids (?? maybe? I don't really know, I only know sonic boom and the movie :'U)- but she was probably the 1% the birth control warns you about. Also, Stobotnik got a very active seggsual life, and I'm imagining she came to be from a quickie over the desk, why not.

>Helpful diagram of Eggman + Stone kissing and then = baby. They were in work hours.

-In the one where he comes back and the baby's already there, Eggman does a terrible job as a father the few first months, but then he gets the hang of it and it's not so bad.

>He gets projectile vomited on and he's immediately asking to get an abortion (the baby's already born) (he didn't give birth to her), Stone says no anyways.

>"Surprisingly, I'm a good father" he thinks one day and it's because he's still very much an orphan here with no frame of comparation or example aside from researching the matter.

-In the one where they wait for her together, he does all the research necessary in all those months, absolutely refusing in doing an average job in that matter, he's the great Ivo Robotnik c'mon. He excels at anything and he'll be a great father (jk he's terrified of fucking up).

-The Stobotnik family is an evil but loving family, like the bears in Puss in Boots whwh criminal family✨

-For the funny of it, Sonic and Eggman got a sort of relationship like in Sonic Boom, so sometime maybe our favorite boy, Tails and Knuckles had to look after their child.

-Also since Knuckles broke Stone's and Robotnik's hands with their handshake, let's have him handle the baby with the most careful grip ever, just to demonstrate that he didn't have to grab their hands that hard aksdjask

-She's a big fan of Sonic and friends (Sonic the Hedgehog, not Sonic Wachowski, the second guy hadn't done even half the things she admires him for, but no one has the heart to tell her when she's a kid). Has a bunch of merch and all the comics of Sonic the Hedgehog.

>When she's a teenager she proudly uses her Sonic backpack in the same way Deadpool uses his Hello Kitty backpack.

-BTW Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are all brothers and Maddie and Tom's kids bc that's the best idea ever made.

-ALSO I'm definitely gonna draw that scene where Knuckles was about to put the baby in the blender and Sonic shouts THE CHILI DOG NOT THE BABY. Some day, you'll see pipipi.

-SAGE was created for various reasons, to be her sister (since she wouldn't stop asking for one but neither Stone nor Robotnik were willing in raising another human kid, thanks very much), to protect her, and also to answer the tedious "why?" questions that neither father had the patience for (A+ parenting right there). Maybe she was used for the original purpose too idk (I don't know that sonic game where she debuts).

>The child's delighted about having a sister, then she grows up and SAGE doesn't, so she has a little sister.

>METAL SONIC TOO MAYBE? Perfect lil american family, the two happily married parents and their three kids (one human girl, an IA and a robot clone of their alien enemy).

-On her early months she was called Pebble, because she really was a mini Stone, Robotnik went along with it (bc he also looked at her and only saw his husband whw) until she was a little older and they started calling her by her name.

>Alternatively, since Eggman was gone, Stone waited for him to return in hopes of choosing together a name for their child, and Pebble worked as a placeholder since she was just a bebi.

>Alternatively alternatively, Eggman came up with the nickname. ROCK-ONNAISSANCE 🗣️ also yeah I know he was going crazy from the mushroom stuff, but he's not above making silly puns, he's a dad now and also he's naturally silly.

(NGL I really gotta make up my mind about how it all happened ajsdkad)

-She's a spoiled kid and also a little menace, unintentionally evil, she can't help it.

>Good-hearted too sometimes, she loves Sage and does her best to protect her back (it's not necessary but it's appreciated anyways).

-Robotnik calls himself 'daddy' way too much in the live-action movies to ignore it, so he's daddy and Stone's dad (dada when she was younger).

>"These are my daddies!" (points to what's clearly two villains -but also good fathers-)

-She has Robotnik's eyes but as big as Stone's. They're the lethal-est sad puppy eyes ever (they work wonders on both parents and other people) (both men got beautiful dark brown eyes with visible eyelashes fight me).

>Look at Eggman's silly eyelashes:

>Also, you know that picture of Lee Majdoub with the beautiful everything? I think he was wearing eyeliner so my Stone wears eyeliner too in contrast to Eggman's dark circles under his eyes JDJS😭

-She's the five-year-old that made Sonic fear them because 'they can be so cruel when they sense weakness' (she was brutally honest as any young kid is).

-Stone and Robotnik got Gomez and Morticia Addams kinda parenting. They see their child beating up someone and they're like:

"What did we do wrong?" (Stone while shaking his head in disappointment) "I know... she lacks resourcefulness." (Eggman) "Exactly, there's her baseball bat right there, why doesn't she use it?"

-Remember that Shadow said in a game that he wouldn't mind taking a candy from a baby? (fandub I think but still) This comes in handy when neither Tails, Sonic or Knuckles want to upset the kid (so Shadow does it instead).

-She plays sports too because she got too much energy. In each of them she loses her patience. She grabs the football and hauls it at the nearest team member, she throws her baseball bat to the ground and starts beating up whoever threw the ball that she missed, she stomps in frustration if she loses, she's great at dodgeball (sends her classmates to the infirmary).

-Throws tantrums and stuff and overall's an annoying kid if she's upset. Eggman's like UGH WHY'S SHE LIKE THIS?? and Stone's like Because of you, doctor (terrible temperament runs in the family and also Robotnik just spoiled her too much).

-I'm kinda dressing her up in the clothes that existed in my mind that supposedly Eggman wore (the weird dress-like jacket with the big zipper in the middle). Under her jacket there's a dress in the same pattern as the original Eggman's clothes, also she wears a baby onesie like that too.

-When she's older she's definitely proud of her fathers, but she doesn't appreciate the rumors that she's prone to go power-crazy like Robotnik did. Especially because it may be true, but what do they know.

-For the irony, she can't stand drinking coffee, but loves the smell of it because it reminds her of home (omg).

-THEY HAVE A PET CAT like I read in some fics and her name is Robot and she's a lil shit and also grumpy like Robotnik.

>Maybe she brings her alive mice to experiment on all sort of stuff (like Pávlov and his dogs and the guy Skinner with his mice and cats (??))

-She gets to hang out with Sonic and friends under the condition of annoying him as much as possible. So, she complies. (She loves Sonic the Hedgehog, but she loves making her fathers happy more).

-Very smart kid but not to the level of Tails or Robotnik at that age, she's just got very good memory and learning skills and knows a lot of stuff ever since she was a little kid. More like a Matilda-kinda intelligence.

-She's a scientist when she grows up too but the kind that makes evil potions and serums and stuff aksjdk probably (chemistry things? biochem idk). She can make silly little robots for the fun of it but it's not her passion, unlike Robotnik and Stone's. PROBABLY. I'm still deciding.

-BTW LOOK (it says 'carefully crafted ploy to distract space porcupines')

>While Eggman's there with the baby and Sonic in front of him going AWWW BABY BOO and making her laugh, Stone is sneaking up on him holding a chair above his head to knock him out.

THAT'S IT THANKS FOR READING ✨✨

#sonic the hedgehog #my art #agent stone #doctor eggman #ivo robotnik #aban stone #coolest fanmade name #stobotnik #I'm so normal about my fanbabies #Ivania Robotnik is too obvious but also why not #Sofia Robotnik sounds cool tho #fankids #I gave up on coloring everything sorry #SONIC BOOM EGGMAN MY HUSBAND 🗣️🗣️🗣️#When I was a kid I watched that show just for him whwhw #pls pls pls receive this well i want to draw these villains in love more #eggman being in love with stone is my favorite thing in fics #he loves in such a weird way but it's okay Stone loves it

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hg-aneh · 7 months

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will you ever come back, or is this an indefinite hiatus/straight up dipping?

i don't know

all the i miss yous are making me want to come back but ik i would just be terrified and motionless as soon as i do

Vent-ish Rant downstairs

CW: Pedophilia, Antisemitism, Suicide, Ableism, Harassment, Bullying, all the important words except for murder basically

i want to fix things in private with the people who hurt me so things can be okay and I don't out them for being wieners

but i also want everyone to know who hurt me, yet I'm aware it's not the right choice to make. social media outrage barely leads to anything, specially where minors are concerned

hell,now that i think about it, considering the fact that they genuinely don't believe people older than them are allowed to have feelings, I don't even think talking would be the right move

it's scary, its fucking scary

fuck. the whole thing started with a person mocking the way i spoke about crowley telling me to stop babying him because i was a legal adult and shouldn't be speaking like that

i had just turned 18 and the person was only a year younger than me

like when it's gone to that point and shit is that fucked up, what can one person even do

i remember i laughed about it back then but truth be told, every single little thing I've been told and that I've listened to coming from the people who hurt me has fucking destroyed me as a person

I looked at my older Discord messages, from before this whole mess started. I was so fucking happy and shameless with my joy, now look at my sorry ass

i just.

it's crazy that i have to go around masking in social media of all places because there are people that take such offense to me being cringe that they legitimately turn into high school mean girls

it's crazy that there are people who claim I'm something i am not because they want to make me look bad in the eyes of their little circlejerking friend groups so they can feel like the hero of the story

it's crazy that empathy goes completely out of the window when an account is big, that people don't see human beings as human beings when they're behind a screen

"just log off lol" i am a lonely shut in motherfucker due to my autism (that, surprise surprise, hinders my ability to socialize), you do not understand what you're asking of me, specially while being in this country and at this point in time where I'm actively craving to kick the metaphorical bucket, at daily risk of doing so, and what basically is house arrest for my own safety and well being

(aka, avoiding to physically yeet myself into upcoming traffic or buying something to actually seal the deal)

thus far I've been accused of antisemitism, pedophilia, being too self-centered (which. bro, the reason why i talk about myself is because it's the one thing i can comment on without being scared of some random person coming to tell me "NuH uH" about it out of nowhere or worse, having their feelings hurt because I don't agree with them 100%), proshipper (which, to those people, the word implies wonderful labels such as "incest apologist" "pedophile" (again) "abuse endorser" among other things) ((sidenote, I'm on neither side on that particular discourse. my friends from both sides know this. I would elaborate on my stance if this wasn't already long enough, but it is, so I'm leaving it at an "I don't care, you do you, but please leave me out of it")), being... mean... because i blocked someone...? (this one is just. that's how the second wave of hate started btw. yeah, because i blocked someone. holy fuck), and there's probably a handful of other things I haven't seen yet. fuck it, there's probably someone out there calling me a zoophile because of my catboy au

My friends who I will not name because I don't want the high school mean girls crusade to get to them, have helped me stash out evidence for all of the accusations and bullying.

fuck, they were the ones who let me know about it on the first place, both actions for which i am eternally thankful for because it means I can defend myself properly should the occasion arise (dios no quiera)

I've already had to make a post on Xitter responding to the antisemitism and pedophilia claims, in which, for the latter, i had to reveal extremely personal information for the people who started this to give me respite if only for a while

and. ugh

What I'm trying to get at with all of this is. it's. coming back is scary. i want to but at the same time I don't think I can take this shit anymore

I wish I had people defending me like this when the harassment started because I'm a spineless little bitch who'd rather talk things out and at least be neutral with people than clap back and tell them to stop being stinky

but what's done is done and now i just gotta figure out how to fix my head before i do something stupid

this is not the full story obviously, I'm cutting off certain details as well as more personal depression stuff to not make this bible longer than it already is

fuck

TLDR: I need a hug, idk if I'm coming back, I probably will cuz I can't say no to people, and some teenagers are horrible

#aneh answers #aneh cries #sorry this is so desorganized and scattered #never been too good at writing #and to clarify #no im not outing the shitheads #i just feel like theres no way to fix things anymore #theyre far too... words #ngh

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