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moumouton4 · 5 months

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Hello :3

Pretty please could you write a Napoleon x reader

Where napoleon gets freaky with reader under the table, like in the movie ;3

Thank you so much, :D

Under The Table || Napoléon Bonaparte x reader

A/n : Hello pumpkin ! I'm so grateful for your request because since I've watched the movie I just wanted to write a fic about it so thank you ! 🍨

A/n 2 : As you may know I'm French and I live about 20 min from the Castle of Rueil-Malmaison ( yeah that's a flew lol look at that ) I decided to write the 2 dialogues in French but the translation will follow right after don't y'all worry 😂

Warnings : no mention of gender for reader, sex under the table, kinda exhibitionism, oral!reader receiver, penetrative sex, cream pie, implicit bathtub sex, 18+ READERS ONLY and wrap it before you tap it

Masterlist ⚜

I don’t give permission to repost my work, if you want to share it just reblogue it

Word count : 917

Sitting a the banket table, finishing the divine meal you just had, with a good dessert, you couldn't help but feel an intense gaze on you

Dipping your spoon in your chocolate mousse once more, you made sure it was full before bringing it back to your lips, still feeling that same lingering gaze following your every move

As you turn the spoon in your mouth, you couldn't help but keep staring everywhere in the room, everywhere but at him. It was just the power he seemed to have over you, even after all those years

Licking the back of the spoon clean, you heard him groan under his breath at the other side of the table

Finally gathering enough courage to look up, you could see him biting on his lip, he wanted you, there was no doubt about it. It was as if the whole night you had spent having sex wasn’t enough for to sat his appetite

He blinks oh so slowly, squinting his eyes at you as he manages to looks even more intently at you, and you know exactly was is going to happen after

You knew that he was man to take what he wanted without needed for permission, but he rendered you nevertheless speechless when he slipped down his chair and under the table, making his way towards you on all four

You swallowed nervously knowing very well that the maître d’hôtel was still in the dining room, and also very aware of what was about to unfold, even if he didn’t show it. Though his job asked for it, he didn’t bat an eyelash, standing up straight, staring at the wall in front of him, waiting for an order from the master or mistress of the house

Now that he was in front of you, his hands came to strongly rest on your knees before pushing them open, revealing your most intimate parts to him

He then quickly pushed the fabrics that needed to be pushed and removed the cloth that was blocking access to his 2nd dessert

You heard him groan again as he glanced at your arousal, he didn’t need anymore second to feel the need to devour you completely

That’s how he started eating you out, sucking at your flesh and drinking every juices your body was eager to give him. Meanwhile your face was bright red as you did your best to cover any moans from the waiter’s ears

You also breathed out when after some time of receiving oral you didn’t feel anything itch, for once the Cosican man didn’t eat anything spicy - maybe he had this in mind all along

On the other hand, you can feel how forcefully his tongue pushes against your intimacy, as if he were hungry, hungry for you

Though after eating it like that, he starts feeling himself throb in his pants, his balls tightening in a way that screams his need to cum soon. He is not the type to be able to cum from only giving an oral, but he is clearly the type that goes feral while or after giving one. His cock needs the stimulation of your pulsing walls now

He doesn’t bother to know if you came from his oral ministrations or not, you’re going to cum around his cock anyways

His hands seizes your hips and with a swift pull he brings you under the table with him, before lying you on the cold white tiled floor

“Dehors !” he screams at the man that was still in the room, his voice booming against the walls of the dining room of his Castle of Rueil-Malmaison. The latter didn’t need anything more, before almost zooming out the room ( “Out !” )

Now that he has you all to himself, Napoléon doesn’t waste any more time in taking off his waistcoat for greater range of motion

Before you know it his cock is pushing past your tight hole, until he is fully sheathed inside you

If you ask for time to adjust to his size, he won’t stay still, though he will move his hips way more carefully than he would have if you didn’t ask

But after a moment, he just unleashes his full wrath and passion, snapping his hips against yours, his mouth nipping at your tender flesh as his movements stay relentless

His obsessive passion for you is emanating through every actions he makes, and at this point he is fucking you so hard, that you know you’re back is going to hurt a little bit after

Even with the great amount of stamina he has, your husband is like every other man and after something like 20 minutes of hard fucking, and having you climax and milk his throbbing member, he is on the verge of ecstasy

The room, once filled with the rhythmic sounds of flesh against flesh now quiets, as his hips now pushed flush against yours stills, as he comes and pours his semen inside you, the only thing that can be heard now is your heavy breathings and the pounding of your hearts in your ears

He kisses your lips once more, as if his mouth didn't spend the past moments stuck on it before speaking with a still husky voice "Allons dans la baignoire, ma Chère, mmh ? J'ai l'impression que nous avons des affaires à régler là-bas" ( “Let’s take you to the bathtub my Dear, mmh ? I feel like we have some unfinished business to attend over there” )

#napoléon bonaparte #napoléon bonaparte imagine #napoléon bonaparte x reader #napoléon bonaparte smut #napoleon bonaparte #napoleon bonaparte imagine #napoleon bonaparte x reader #napoleon bonaparte smut #napoleon movie #napoleon 2023 #joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix napoleon #napoléon x reader #napoléon smut #napoleon imagine #smut #request #miri-writes

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ayumunoya · 1 year

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This came into mail today! I've read only few scenes but I am already excited. The script includes cutted out scenes or completely lost scenes, so I will post some here too. 💙❤️💙

#I am trying to imagine the scenes without envisioning the film too...#Napoléon #abel gance #napoleon bonaparte #Napoleon 1927

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laurentouttan · 3 months

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Remontons les Champs-Élysées (1938) - De Bonaparte à Napoléon

youtube

Hello ! This is the english traduction for the WHOLE video :)

Narrator : Finally, this is Waterloo. This is the definitive departure. The Champs-Elysées saw his silhouette for the last time, because under the same trees, he took the same steps he had taken 16 years before.

Often I think of these two men, these two silhouette, because to me, they are indeed two men. Let's imagine their meeting, their surprise and their words to each other.

*old Emperor Napoléon meets the young général Bonaparte*

Général Bonaparte : ooooh !

Emperor Napoléon : oh my ! I'm not mistaken !

Général Bonaparte : you're not mistaken.

Emperor Napoléon : How...it was me...this young men...

Général Bonaparte : What...this big (fat) man is me ? Admits that we have rarely seen two beings more differents. We couldn't even love the same women ! I adored Joséphine, you repudiated her. And I didn't know Marie-Louise. I know that with age we change, but at this point, this is frigthing !

Emperor Napoléon : *nostalgic* This 28 years old général...

Général Bonaparte : So you must end up as a corporal !

Emperor Napoléon : Emperor !

Général Bonaparte : mmmh....you are hardly any more...

Emperor Napoléon : The day I die, I will be forever.

Général Bonaparte : It will depends of England.

Emperor Napoléon : We can hardly count on anyone but our ennemies ;)

Général Bonaparte : *angry* No but when I think to the pain I gave to myself to make a name for myself, and as soon as I achieved it, all you could think about was making a first name for yourself ! It is unheard ! You wanted to be Napoléon ! Why didn't you stayed a Republican ?

Emperor Napoléon : ....because you weren't sincère

Général Bonaparte :... rooooh ! >:(

Emperor Napoléon : no, no, you weren't a real republican. The real emperor between us two, it was you :). Yes, because to call our partisan we call them bonapartiste and never napoléonien ! .....If you had to do it again, would you do it again?

Général Bonaparte : oooh, not for an Empire !

#napoleon #Youtube

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femme-from-hell · 1 year

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Since requests are open, I have one! I've been in the mood for some angst recently (who thought that writing non-angsty things during an whole month would make that happen? pfft), so I was wondering if I could request headcanons for the Lupin III main cast (the thieves and Zenigata, but feel free to do whichever characters you prefer, I don't know if you have a limit of characters): how would they react/feel about being in an unrequited love situation, or one where they know they can't be together (i.e, rivals or different sides in the law)?

Thank you in advance! 🥰

Sorry this took so long, I wanted to try my hand at making a custom banner for this bcs its my first Lupin post! I hope you enjoy :) Fair warning tho, this got a little long and its abit less of head cannons and more like story + some thoughts

Lupin iii gang & Inspector Zenigata Angst

𓆩♡𓆪 Lupin III 𓆩♡𓆪

I feel like lupin sort of shuts down when he is heart broken. He is known for hiding his true emotions and thoughts from others, so that’s exactly what he’ll do. He won’t push to seem like is normal perky self, but he wont mope about. Lupin will just go silent, stone faced and continue marching on.

No quips to pops, no joking with Jigen and Goemon, not flirting with Fujiko

Lupin isn’t someone who falls easy, despite his more depraved habits when looking for a partner to keep cozy with at night.

That’s all it was really, just some one to squeeze until he found his next score and then off he went, a trail of hearts left in his wake.

You, on the other hand, could never just be something to hold his fancy until some new painting, gem or priceless artifact. No, you were so much more.

The two of you had crossed paths when he came crashing into your life, quite literally. He landed on top of your gardening shed and put an impromptu sky-light in the roof from his fall. Sure, it scared the living shit out of you, and sure, you also might have knocked him upside the head with a shovel from said shed, but after some first aid and apologies, the two of you had an unmistakable spark from the beginning.

You weren't a thief, or anything like the people he’s come across as he’s traveled the world, but you captivated more than anything or any one. It was like a pull he could never full describe, a pull that put him at your door step after every escape from the police or heist plastered over national news. No matter the distance, he would always have 2 feet on your door mat in the end.

Lupin was a work in progress, he wasn’t someone that would just open up after a few hugs and kisses. It was a slow and gradual process, like a flower struggling to bloom but once it did, it was something miraculous that you couldn’t take your eyes away.

Never in his life, from the first acts as Lupin III to his long years spent alone, had he ever imagined considering the idea of having a life with someone. At first he was elated! Spending the rest of his days with you, talking for hours, laughing so hard he struggled to breath, listening to you talk on and on about anything and everything, his heart would soar at the very thought.

Ring displays in fancy stores and museums began to catch his eye as days go on until finally he made up his mind, he wanted you apart of his life now and forever. You deserved the best, so he was going to give it to you! For hours, he would spend researching the perfect ring, it couldn’t be just any ring either, it needed to be perfect. Finally he decided on the engagement ring that Napoléon had used to propose to Josephine Bonaparte.

Everything was set, the card announcement card was sent, the route was planned, Jigen was in place, and you were none the wiser. Almost everything went perfectly, almost. This heist was a little too close for comfort, seeing as the authorities were more than willing to shoot at him and less than hesitant to aim for the head. Along side this, Inspector Zenigata was nowhere to be seen, which made Lupin more than uneasy. He pushed aside the strange feeling of uncertainty and focused, he had a proposal to do.

Quickly, he evaded the authorities and once they were off his tail, he made his way over to you, parking a little ways from your home so that he could move undetected, hoping to surprise you. Only, he was the one to be surprised. Rather than your quiet block, usually still as stone in the night was light up with the flashing colors of the police. His first thoughts were of concern for your safety, slowly reaching into his chest holster inside his jacket. He creeps forward, ready to make his way over to your home, only to stop dead in his tracks at the site of Inspector Zenigata. So this is where he’s been.

Zenigata moves to the side, revealing your distressed frame. Lupin can hear the old man shout his name, pressing and interrogating you further. Every time pops insists, you deny harder ever knowing the thief.

From the shadows, Lupin looks at you, frightened at this encounter and nearly in tears. Something inside Lupin clicked, something he secretly buried deep so that no one, not even himself would realize, and the weight of the ring in his pocket felt uncomfortably heavy.

Quietly he turned, returning the way he came and climbed into his car. Turning off the radio and his phone, Lupin drove in silence. He drove, and he drove, and he drove until he faced the ocean at the end of a pier. Pulling out the ring and looking at it in his hand, he thought of all the memories he’s made with you, only for the image of your face in tears before the inspector overshadowed everything.

Without another thought, he clutched the ring and cast it into the sea, praying it would sink to the bottom with what remained of his heart. In that moment he wanted to feel nothing, he wanted to feel nothing for a long, long time. after all, you deserved the best...so he was going to give it to you.

𓆩♡𓆪 Jigen 𓆩♡𓆪

For Jigen, he was more in denial than anything. The thought of loving someone was too much of a hassle, especially in his line of work.

What he didn’t account for, is that his heart tends not to listen to his head. Which is what placed you in his hands.

Meeting was a coincidence, having met when you found his look out point while looking for a place to smoke. He threatened you, not wanting to risk someone exposing him to the authorities, only for you to shrug and ask if he had a light.

Jigen was taken aback by this and let out a sharp laugh in shock, but obliged and lit your cigarette before lighting his own. You stood there and talked with him while he waited for his signal. Not once did you ask what he was doing, hiding out on a rooftop with a scope and a gun, which he found strange but funny all the same.

“I’m just some one who mind’s their business.”

The more you spoke the more engrossed he got in your conversation, almost missing the light reflected at him from a casino Lupin was currently robbing blind.

“Looks like that’s my signal too.” Jigen looks over to you from his scope, finger on the trigger as you shrug your jacket off and pull out a gun of your own. A grappling hook gun.

Wordlessly, you shot the hook, shot him a wink, and swung yourself into a window to break through to the casino.

Lupin was shouting at Jigen through his ear piece, asking for ‘a little assistance, please!’ After the botched casino heist and a grilling from Lupin about paying attention to his ques, Jigen began to come across you more frequently. From scoping out scenes, to coffee shops, to even on the street. In reality, rather than running into you more often, he subconsciously began seeking you out.

Your alure was something he couldn’t fight no matter how hard he tried. From finding himself joining you when he see’s you, to finding himself helping you in heists, to eventually finding himself in your bed. Never again did want to pull away from you, or the comfort you brought.

There was no label to what you two had, but that worked for you both. It was a balance that neither of you dared to break, well, at least he didn’t. You, on the other hands, had other plans.

This balance you and him had so delicately crafted was shattered as you held a gun to the back of Lupin’s head, gently pulling an ancient scroll from the thief’s hands. Your eyes though, weren’t on Lupin, no, they were on Jigen. Watching, waiting.

You hadn’t planned for things to turn out like this, really, you wanted to keep what you had with Jigen but the life of a thief is a lonely one. You couldn’t give up this score no matter what, the amount of cash it would bring in would set you up for life. You could even leave this life behind, make something of yourself. However, Jigen didn’t have any plans of being in that picture.

Before he could even think on it, Jigen had drawn and pulled the trigger. The gun once pushed against the back of Lupin’s head, now clattered loudly to the floor along side your body. Never had he thought he would have to make this decision, and yet here he is. Neither he or Lupin said a word as Jigen made his way over to you, quietly collapsing onto his knees and pulling your body close to his own. He could feel the warmth he once knew so well fade from you along side any love he had left to give.

Jigen was never quite the same after that night. He denies the change in behavior, brushing off any concern. He denies every caring over ‘some broad’. He denies the empty bottles of liquor by his bedside table, the long nights of aching in ways he didn’t know he could, and the tear stained picture he holds to his heart of you laying with him in bed, where he now sits alone.

𓆩♡𓆪 Goemon 𓆩♡𓆪

Finding your shop was like finding an oasis in the desert. After pushing the door open to your little tea shop, Goemon practically fell for you at first sight.

Goemon is someone who fall quickly; gives his heart away without saying a word. He is the kind of person who loves from afar and you were no different.

You captivated him, talking on an on about all the teas in your shop, things that would happen with customers, random or shared interests. He wanted to hear all of it, so he would sit silently at the counter nursing his cup, taking only small sips to make it last as long as he could.

You would ask him about himself but he would fumble over his words, your attention flustering him. He could never give you the full truth in his answers but still told some

“What do you do for a living?” “I help my friends with various jobs.” “Why do you carry around that sword?” “I can’t bear to part with it.”

The more time he spent with you, the harder it was to leave after every visit. Some days, he considers stopping in more than once, but anxious thoughts quicky talk him out of it.

With you, he felt a way he could never put into words. Just seeing you put him at peace, a calm that he craves like no other. At almost every moment of the day, up until he walks through your shop doors, he is thinking of you.

Though as the days passed, his time with you dwindled. Lupin’s heist plans were coming to fruition and he knew after things went down he would need to leave along side his friends. He felt conflicted, sure he cared for his friends and the life he had built but the thought of no longer being able to see you left a weird feeling in his stomach.

He thought long and hard about what he should do. He can’t risk staying in fear of the authorities, much worse, involving you with them while he is still wanted by the local authorities.

Ultimately, Goemon made the decision to leave. One robbery later and there was a note attached to the front of your store doors. Inside, the samurai detailed who he was, why you wouldn’t see him and a single request.

“Wait for me.”

Goemon doesn’t stop thinking about you, not once, and that love for you bloomed even apart from you. When he did finally return, he wasn’t greeted with your smile, the chiming of the bell from the front door, or the tea displayed in the front window. Instead he was greeted with a cold, empty building. No sign of you anywhere to be seen.

He was in denial at first. You wouldn’t leave without saying anything, you would have left some note, right? Or, what if something had happened to you! Goemon would go to the nearby shops and ask about you, which always lead to the same answer, “She closed down shop.”

Goemon would still visit your shop, standing outside the old building and starring into the window, longing for you to walk behind the counter from the back and wave at him to come in. Except that wasn’t going to happen, you were gone, and nothing is really going to bring you back.

Once more, the samurai had fallen for someone, giving away his heart without having said a word. He would eventually come to terms with things, but for now, he will mourn what was never really there.

𓆩♡𓆪Fujiko 𓆩♡𓆪

Fujiko Mine is the kind of woman to never let her true feelings be known, not ever to herself sometimes.

She’ll whisper sweet nothing to you, trail her fingers up your spine with an unmatched raw intimacy, then leave you penniless by sunrise. It was nothing short of an art form in her beautiful hands

When she had met you, Fujiko was enamored by your presence. Originally, she was planning to nab the man on your arm, an heir to some company but plans quickly changed when you entered her world.

First it was just basic compliments and pleasantries, the things you would expect from these fancy parties, then it went to witty back and forth banter to her even telling you about her exploits. It felt so natural to talk with you, to move with you, to exist with you.

Sure, Fujiko was eyeing the nice pearl earrings you wore with necklace to match, she found herself thinking of what would suit you better than if they would suit her.

After that party, she would seek you out regularly. She would find herself wanting to treat you to nice meals, pretty outfits she would like to take off you, even stealing precious things to see your eyes shimmer with wonder and astonishment. She wanted to see you smile at no one but her.

When you would find her on the job at parties you would attend, it would become a sort of game of cat and mouse. She’s target some treasure, you would try and distract her, and then you both would have your fun.

The thrill you both had once sought from your relationship had never really faded, rather, it changed into something more. Rushed kisses in the shadows became soft and shared in the new light of the morning, Desperate touches became gentle caresses as you both would lay next to one another at night. Extravagant meals at fancy restraints became burnt eggs and bacon with waffles made just the way she liked. Though different, it was still all the same.

The longer this went on, the more Fujiko wanted more of you. When she had time alone with her thoughts, she would find her mind drifting to you...but she could never figure out why. Yes, she enjoyed being around you more than she could have ever imagined but its something more, she can’t place her finger on it.

Even in the heat of the moment, as she hold you, asking you to come with her, she still can’t tell you what it is. No matter how much you beg her, saying if she wants you, she needs to tell you but she can’t. Fujiko Mine is the kind of woman to never let her true feelings be known, not even to herself.

You’ve never asked anything from her, but she would give everything to you if you wanted. Yet, despite this, she could never say the one thing you wanted to your face.

𓆩♡𓆪Zenigata 𓆩♡𓆪

The inspector has never been the sharpest knife in the pencil box when it came to love, much less how to handle heart break.

When Zenigata and you fell in love, it was long before his chase for Lupin began. He was a pretty well respected officer that had a heart of gold, something you had always admired.

Koichi loved you with every bit of himself, so much so that sometimes he would find himself considering a different career just to stay beside you more often

His hours were long and hard with his job, not to mention dangerous. The both of you would be stressing about one another through out the day only to be finally reunited when you both came home.

Your life with him wasn’t easy but it was something the two of you built together, it was yours

That was until the inspector’s encounter with Lupin after an over seas trip to the US. It began a change in him that you’d never seen before. He was passionate about his job, sure, but this was something completely different. Zenigata came home rambling on about the ICPO and his chance to apply.

You wanted to support the person you loved in all that he did but this... it meant that he would be away for months on end.

Zenigata, in all his excitement and passion, failed to notice that your smile wasn’t quite all there. Nonetheless, he would hug and kiss you all the same, declaring his love for you and all the support you’ve given him.

This job opportunity wasn’t without thought, he took a lot of deliberation and came to the conclusion that this was truly his calling.

Thus, the journey toward catching the world renowned thief began. No matter where in the world he was, he would always find time to call you, even if he needed to stay up late or get up early to make up the time difference. He would always tell you about all the things he’s seeing in the world, gently thumbing a picture he had of you in his wallet.

As time went on though, those phone calls became shorter and mre infrequent. Your home was now just yours alone, now absent of the boisterous man you had once loved. You knew deep down that if you asked him to come home, asked him to quit his pursuit, he would without question but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You loved him too much to ask him to give all that up.

Instead, it would be you that would give him up. It broke your heart and his, more than you would ever know. After your last phone call with him, he sat in his hotel room in disbelief, the phone line had long since gone dead. A sob tore from him as he felt an ache like no other, a hole where you once were.

For a while, Zenigata couldn’t even put his heart into his work, everything felt wrong. He felt sick looking at himself in the mirror, seeing the man who couldn’t even put his loved one before his career, too blinded by ambition.

No more! He was tired of this shell he has become, Koichi will bring Lupin to justice, he will return home, and he’ll show you that you mean more than anything to him!

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saviourkingslut · 2 years

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for the 🔥 game @garlandgerard sent me this:

BULLSEYE, this guy's one of my favourite historical blorbos bc i have a huge soft spot for him

for those unfamiliar with this man, he was a younger brother of napoleon bonaparte, and the very first king of the netherlands! to briefly give some context, the netherlands had been the dutch republic for ages, and then after a 1794 revolution (aided by france) it briefly became the 'batavian republic'. however, that very revolution meant that though the republic was technically still independent, french troops were posted all over the country, and the republic had to send more and more money and troops to france and started feeling french repression more and more, because napoleon was busy conquering all of europe and imposing his will everywhere he went. and then in 1806 he decided that actually, enough was enough, and made his younger brother louis napoleon king of the 'kingdom of holland', thereby instating a monarchy in a country that hadn't seen a king since the late sixteenth century or so.

now why would this first king of the netherlands (let's not forget, a FRENCHMAN) be one of my favourite guys of all time, you ask? because louis napoléon bonaparte developed a soft spot for the country and the people he came to rule and took his task seriously. he took lessons under two dutch lawyer-poets to learn the language and soon had himself be called 'lodewijk', the dutch version of 'louis'. he travelled the country not just to arouse sympathy (because he was a foreign king who'd been forced on the people) but also because he genuinely cared. when many people in one particular province caught the 'sweating sickness', he visited patients, had a doctor come over from another province and had the proper medicine be delivered. he assisted during a cholera epidemic that broke out in another village. he tried to solve problems by talking about them and searching for compromise.

the definitive moment that the dutch people really started to accept lodewijk was in 1807, when a transport ship loaded with gunpowder exploded in the middle of the city of leiden, wiping hundreds of houses clean off the face of the earth. the king immediately came to visit the city that very same day, deployed the royal guard to help with cleaning the rubble, had his own court surgeon come over and had the one of his palaces in the hague transformed in a temporary hospital for the victims. he forbade the transport of gunpowder through cities to prevent anything like this from happening in the future and set up a fund for disasters like these to which he donated 30.000 guilders - and this isn't even everything he did to help out with the disaster. you can imagine the dutch populace welcomed him with open arms after that. and then in 1809, when parts of a province flooded to the extent that entire villages just disappeared, the king allegedly helped stack sacks of sand himself. obviously he used the things he did to create some real good propaganda to ingratiate himself with the people, but i think at that point he'd earned it.

now historians thought for a long while that lodewijk was just an extension of napoleon and wasn't really a king in his own right, but lately we've come to have a more nuanced view of him that shows that he did not always follow his elder brother's orders to the letter. the longer he was there, the more lodewijk tried to rule the kingdom of holland his own way, to the displeasure of napoleon, who got mad at him bc he thought lodewijk was prioritising dutch needs over french needs. when lodewijk had to impose the french code civil, he created a new version partly based on existing dutch law. he didn't want to send his brother the number of soldiers he demanded. he didn't want to impose the continental system, which forbade trade with the british, and only acted mildly against smugglers. in the end napoleon basically deposed him in 1810 and made the netherlands a province of france (not so good few years)

obviously lodewijk wasn't perfect - for one he spent a lot of money on himself and lived extravagantly #thefrench - but i think he's a fascinating man who overall had a good heart and good intentions. it's kind of a shame that he's one of the most ignored people in the history of the netherlands because he was 1) french and we don't like to think that our first king was french and 2) his rule was super short and 3) he was imposed and not a member of the current royal family who have been the royals since 1814. i think there's one monument to him in the whole ass country. we celebrated 200 years of monarchy in 2014 because we don't count his reign. that's partly because after 1810 the netherlands became a literal part of france (so napoleon was like. our emperor ig) so you can't really include it and claim continuous monarchy bc of that interruption but it also means that we just ignore lodewijk. i think he deserves better.

#blrobocore #asks #it's so funny how you hit me with one of my faves dead on #next to like. tchaikovsky ig #anyway dutch history literally doesn't give a shit abt this specific era like 1790-1814 is like our country whomst?#like everything until 1806 is too difficult for anyone to understand and then nobody cares abt lodewijk #and we definitely do not talk abt being a part of france #and then it's 1815 and we get belgium added to our country! yippiee!#and then treat it like shit so they leave again after 15 years lmfao #it's so fucking funny tho bc there is literally a park in the city of leiden built in the empty space the explosion left behind #and it's called AFTER SOME OTHER GUY. WHO FOUGHT IN THE EIGHTY YEARS' WAR WHEN LEIDEN WAS BESIEGED. LMFAO #to be fair the relief of the siege is still celebrated today even tho it happened like 400 years ago so it is kind of a big deal but yea #rip to lodewijk napoleon #oh right. let me tag this with #long post

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lidensword · 2 years

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Ok, so ever since October of last year when my friend and I rewatched NATM2, I’ve been hyper fixated on the real life counterparts of Al Capone and Napoleon Bonaparte. It’s become a gem in my friend group to say “DiD yOu KnOw NaPoLeOn BoNaPaRte…” because I won’t shut up about them.

For school we had to do some reading for a project and I grabbed Al Capone: his Life, Legacy, and Legend by Deirdre Bair and oh my gosh it was so good. One of the things that stuck out to me is that in November 1928, Al allegedly read “Life of Napoleon” and there was an Article printed about it in, I believe 1931.

Here’s an excerpt from the book:

“More intriguing was the breathless headline for the story written by one imaginative reporter who learned of his library forays: ‘Capone Reads Life of Napoleon.’

Capone allegedly told the reporter that Napoleon was ‘the world’s greatest racketeer’ and that he could have ‘wised [him] up’ about how to run his ‘business,’ that is, the country of France: ‘The trouble with that guy was he got the swelled head. He overplayed his hand and they made a bum out of him.’ He was probably thinking of himself when he said that Napoleon ‘was just like the rest of us. He didn’t know when to quit [and he made it] too easy for the other gangs to take him.’ He sensed a kinship between himself and Napoleon when he added that Napoleon should have had ‘sense enough…to kiss himself out of the game.’” (p.268)

Ahhgg! Just reading over this again makes me stim happily at the thought of these two interacting? Al thinking of Napoleon and finding similarities between them both? Idk really I’m just happy to share this info with someone else :D!

P.S. My friend and I both have a head canon that Al’s age is 26 in the movie, letting him inherent the Outfit just in time to keep his title as “Young Al Capone” and giving him ✨Dead brother trama✨

(sorry this is so long) -⭐️

This is SO INTERESTING!! I am still amazed by the fact that Al was somehow interested in Napoléon's life! 😳

I must admit that I know more facts about Napoléon than I know about Al Capone, as I'm half French. Therefore, I'm truly pleased to learn about Al's life (and even more: something that connects Napoléon and Capone)!

Oh and I'm so glad not to be the only one who is crazy about/obsessed with them, even though they are minor characters in NatM...!

By the way, if you want to share more interesting facts (or even your headcanon!) you are free to do it!!

#I'm so glad you shared this with me!!#Thank you SO MUCH!!!!#Al Capone #Napoléon Bonaparte #interesting facts

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sam4samina-blog · 3 months

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Alternate historyAlternate history (also alternative history, althist, AH) is a theme of speculative fiction of stories in which one or more historical events occur and are resolved differently than in real life. Allohistory (other history) is another term for the genre of alternative history. An alternate history requires three conditions: (i) A point of divergence from the historical record, before the time in which the author is writing; (ii) A change that would alter known history; and (iii) An examination of the ramifications of that alteration to history.One early work of fiction detailing an alternate history is Joanot Martorell's 1490 epic romance Tirant lo Blanch, which was written when the loss of Constantinople to the Turks was still a recent and traumatic memory for Christian Europe. It tells the story of the knight Tirant the White from Brittany who travels to the embattled remnants of the Byzantine Empire. He becomes a Megaduke and commander of its armies and manages to fight off the invading Ottoman armies of Mehmet II. He saves the city from Islamic conquest, and even chases the Turks deeper into lands they had previously conquered.One of the earliest works of alternate history published in large quantities for the reception of a large audience may be Louis Geoffroy's Histoire de la Monarchie universelle: Napoléon et la conquête du monde (1836) (History of the Universal Monarchy: Napoleon and the Conquest of the World), which imagines Napoleon's First French Empire emerging victorious in the French invasion of Russia in 1812 and in an invasion of England in 1814, later unifying the world under Bonaparte's rule.If It Had Happened Otherwise is a 1931 collection of essays edited by J. C. Squire and published by Longmans, Green. Each essay in the collection could be considered alternate history or counterfactual history, a few written by leading historians of the period and one by Winston Churchill.One of the entries in Squire's volume was Churchill's "If Lee Had Not Won the Battle of Gettysburg", written from the viewpoint of a historian in a world in which the Confederacy had won the American Civil War. The entry considers what would have happened if the North had been victorious (in other words, a character from an alternate world imagines a world more like the real one we live in, although it is not identical in every detail). Speculative work that narrates from the point of view of an alternate history is variously known as "recursive alternate history", a "double-blind what-if", or an "alternate-alternate history".Alternate history has long been a staple of Japanese speculative fiction with such authors as Futaro Yamada and Ryō Hanmura writing novels set in recognizable historical settings with added supernatural or science fiction elements. Ryō Hanmura's 1973 Musubi no Yama Hiroku which recreated 400 years of Japan's history from the perspective of a secret magical family with psychic abilities. The novel has since come to be recognized as a masterpiece of Japanese speculative fiction. Twelve years later, author Hiroshi Aramata wrote the groundbreaking Teito Monogatari which reimagined the history of Tokyo across the 20th century in a world heavily influenced by the supernatural.Radical alternative histories, which explore the consequences of fundamental shifts in biological evolution or geological history, include Harry Harrison's series about the survival of the Dinosaurs, begun with West of Eden(1984); Turtledove's Atlantis series beginning with Opening Atlantis(2007), in which a mid-Atlantic subcontinent calved off from North America in the geologic past.

More radical still are novels which portray Alternate-Cosmos universes where the laws of Physics and the structure of the world may be different.Alien space bats: "Alien space bats" ("ASBs") is a neologism for plot devices used in alternate history to mean an implausible point of divergence. "Alien space bats" originally was used as a sarcastic attack on poorly-written alternate histories seen as being implausible. The attacks are usually phrased as the need for "alien space bats" or by saying that the alternate history has gone into "ASB territory". The term eventually evolved into a reference to deus ex machina to create an impossible point of divergence. Examples include changes to the physical laws of nature, time travel, and advanced aliens interfering in human affairs. The use of ASBs in alternate history can be controversial. Some writers use them on purpose, adding science fiction or fantasy elements, or intentionally making unrealistic mashups of different eras. However, some AH projects use Alien Space Bats out of ignorance or naïveté. Things happen unrealistically because the writer has not put in the work to understand the era that they are working with. These unintentionally ASB timelines are generally looked down upon.Alternate Timeline: The Alternate Timeline at its core is different from the parallel universe in that it's only one universe, only played out multiple ways. Imagine you're writing something on a piece of paper and made a mistake: you can erase it with an eraser and write over it, or you can grab a new piece of paper. The first one is this trope, the second one is Parallel Universe. Technically, alternative histories as a result of time travel are not parallel universes: while multiple parallel universes can co-exist simultaneously, only one history or alternative history can exist at any one moment, as alternative history usually involves, in essence, overriding the original timeline with a new one. As a result, travel between alternative histories is not possible without reverting the timeline back to the original.

There are exceptions to the above, and an alternate history doesn't necessarily overwrite the old one. There are no rules written in stone regarding this. Modern ideas of time travel pose the idea of branching timelines. If a timeline isn't explicitly stated to have been erased, it's still there.

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nordleuchten · 2 years

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I saw your post about Anastasie's drawing of one of the "Gaolers of Olmütz" (which btw, amazing drawing ngl) and it got me thinking about this conturbed time (to say the least) in their lifes, which made me get to the question: what were the short and long term effects that this period had in their lifes? (both during and after their emprisionment)

I'm sure for Adrienne it wasn't easy, for there is a lot of things saying how miserable she was while and after leaving there, and for Lafayette I'm sure it wasn't as well, for he was the one that was in captivity for the longest time (sometimes in solitary if I remember well?).

And also while I know that terms like ptsd and anxiety did not existed back then, are you aware of them being described as with something akin to some sort of mental effects? While Georges did not passed for what the rest of his family did, I'm sure that must've left him shaken for some time knowing that at any moment he could got the news that his whole family was found dead in a ditch somewhere.

Thank you :))

Hello Anon,

That is a very interesting question, thank you for that. The time in Olmütz had various effects on the La Fayette family, both in general as well as individually on the respected family members - and not all of the effects were solely negative.

The first and most obvious effect was the impaired health of the prisoners. La Fayette wrote Washington in a letter from October 6, 1797:

(…) My own Health, altho it is Impaird, Could, I think, tolerably Support a Voyage—My daughters are not ill—But Mrs Lafayette’s Sufferings in this Cruel UnHealthy Captivity Have Had Such a deplorable effect Upon Her, that in the opinion of Every phisician, and Every Man of Sense, it Would Be an Act of Madness to Let Her embark at this Advanced Season of the Year (…)

“To George Washington from Lafayette, 6 October 1797,” Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of George Washington, Retirement Series, vol. 1, 4 March 1797 – 30 December 1797, ed. W. W. Abbot. Charlottesville: University Press of Virginia, 1998, pp. 384–386.]

Adrienne’s health would never fully recover and when she died on December 24, 1807 in Paris, it was almost certainly an aftereffect of her time in Olmütz.

Olmütz was in general a topic in the family’s history that was not often discussed. After La Fayette’s immediate release from prison, there are only very few letters where the name “Olmütz” is even mentioned. Each of these mentioning’s is in relation with a different person. He described Napoléon Bonaparte as his “deliverer from Olmütz”, he writes about David Parish visiting America - his father John Parish was American consul in Hamburg during the La Fayette’s time in Olmütz. Another mentioning’s were in relation to the La Fayette’s finances who had suffered greatly during this time - another effect.

La Fayette had always been close with his family and his children in particular and it is therefore hard to determine just how much his imprisonment (often in solitary or quasi-solitary confinement) affected the desire to be close to his family. As an elderly man he was more or less constantly surrounded by his children, grand-children, great-grand-children and close friends. I can very well imagine that having his family close became very, very important for La Fayette after his release. I would also argument that La Fayette’s confinement with his two daughters Anastasie and Virginie impacted their relationship in a positive manner and that they grew even closer with their father. It was also La Fayette who took care of Anastasie education while Adrienne taught Virginie.

Regardless for their exact situation, all three of the La Fayette-children had to grew up very quickly, mature and constantly adapt to changes that they otherwise would never have encountered. Anastasie especially was described by her sister Virginie was becoming very practical and crafty.

Although Georges was relatively safe in America, I would argue that he suffered the most. Adrienne, La Fayette, Virginie and Anastasie were all together, they knew how things were, how they fared - Georges was alone (although his tutor and chaperone Felix Frestel did an amiable job) and far away and news were hard to come-by. He lived for some time with the Hamilton’s prior to living with his godfather George Washington. Hamilton wrote George Washington on December 24, 1795 (on Georges’ birthday):

Young La Fayette appears melancholy and has grown thin. A letter lately received from his mother which speaks of something which she wishes him to mention to you (as I learn from his preceptor) has quickened his sensibility and increased his regret. If I am satisfied that the present state of things is likely to occasion a durable gloom, endangering the health & in some sort the mind of the young man, I shall conclude, on the strength of former permission, to send him to you for a short visit—the rather as upon repeated reflection I am not able to convince myself that there is any real inconvenience in the step and as there are certainly delicate opposite sides. But it will be my endeavour to make him content to remain away.

"From Alexander Hamilton to George Washington", 24 December 1795, Founders Online, National Archives, [Original source: The Papers of Alexander Hamilton, vol. 19, July 1795 – December 1795, ed. Harold C. Syrett. New York: Columbia University Press, 1973, pp. 514–515.]

After his initial arrival in America he was treated with kindness but often “pushed-around” until he found a more stable and long-term home with Hamilton and then with Washington. As soon as he was with Washington and after he had some time to acquaint himself with his new situation, Georges was doing better. But this separation left marks on him and in my opinion he was the most afflicted by the family’s misfortune. It appears as if he later thought he was somewhat “guilty” because his fate was the mildest during this time. He was not in prison, he was not ill and he even could continue his education. He also became almost “overprotective” of his family, especially his father in later years. Something that was noticeable during their America Tour in 1824/25. I think it was Laura Auricchio in her book who wrote that Georges was so dedicated to his father that he hardly had a live of his own. I long since had a similar thought but always thought me terrible unkind. After the all, I was no historian, just an outsider looking into a family dynamic from a more than 200 years distance. But seeing historians and biographers stating the same, I feel this observation might have been true.

There were however also some positive effects for the family. His time in Olmütz did wonders for La Fayette’s reputation (which was badly tarnished prior to his imprisonment.) It can also be argued that their imprisonment was really a boost for La Fayette’s and Adrienne’s relationship, especially for La Fayette’s evaluation of Adrienne. Last but not least, without their time in Olmütz, La Fayette’s daughter Anastasie might not have found her husband (or at least not as fast as she did.) The La Fayette’s went into exile after their release just like the family of one of La Fayette’s fellow prisoners, Charles César de Fay de La Tour-Maubourg. Chalres was one of La Fayette’s dearest friends and had two brother, with both of whom La Fayette was on very friendly and affectionate terms. The youngest of the brothers, Juste-Charles de La Tour-Maubourg fell in love with Anastasie and soon a weeding was celebrated (May 9, 1798) in Wittmoldt and not too long after that Adrienne and La Fayette became grand-parents for the first time.

I hope I could answear your question with that and I hope you have/had a fantastic day!

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northernmariette · 3 years

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A portrait of Marshal Berthier

This portrait of Berthier is from Pierre-Paul Denniée, the author of the passage about Berthier's working methods I posted a little while back. Not everybody loved Berthier, but as far as I know he was loved by his staff, for whom he seems to have been a solicitous boss. Lejeune wrote well about him also, and seems to have been happy in his employ for twelve years. If only Berthier's own boss had been so solicitous! Yes, Napoleon gave Berhtier more money than is imaginable, titles and honours, but he treated Berthier the man like dirt. More at the conclusion of this post.

La plupart des écrivains qui ont parlé du prince de Neuchâtel ont méconnu son caractère.

La vie du maréchal Berthier, prince de Neuchâtel et de Wagram, a été, pendant vingt années consécutives, une vie d'abnégation et de dévouement. Jamais il ne parlait qu'au nom de l'Empereur, et surtout ne permettait pas qu'on le remerciât personnellement des récompenses ou des faveurs qu'il faisait obtenir. Sa réponse habituelle était :

"Monsieur, ce n'est pas moi, c'est l'Empereur..... c'est l'Empereur qu'il faut remercier."

Le nom du prince de Neuchâtel était profondément respecté dans l'armée. - Il était doué d'un esprit droit et juste, d'une valeur calme et brillante, d'une activité infatigable et d'une rare facilité à tracer la configuration d'un terrain. Sa plus éminente qualité comme major-général était une exactitude ponctuelle et une obéissance passive, exempte de tout commentaire, aux ordres écrits de l'Empereur, et enfin une prévoyance si inquiète et si minutieuse, lorsqu'il s'agissait d'un ordre important, qu'on aurait pu regarder ses précautions comme excessives, si, dans plus d'une circonstance, elles n'avaient assuré les succès des opérations. Ainsi, au moment où l'Empereur manoeuvrait sur Eylau (Pologne 1807), le prince, vu l'importance des ordres, dépêcha successivement et par des directions différentes huit officiers d'état-major au maréchal Bernadotte. Un seul parvint à sa destination ; c'était le dernier officier parti du grand quartier général ; les sept autres avaient été pris.

Il donnait, le premier, l'exemple d'un profond respect envers l'Empereur ; respect imposé d'ailleurs par Napoléon, qui avait su mettre une telle distance entre sa personne et ses généraux, que le prince de Neuchâtel, vice-connétable, major-général de l'armée, confident de ses plus secrets desseins, ne s'est jamais présenté devant lui que dans une tenue complète : habit agrafé, botté et éperonné, épée au côté ; et cela la nuit comme le jour, au bivouac comme dans les palais. Une fois entre autres, c'était à Varsovie (le 8 janvier 1807), l'Empereur fit appeler le prince dix-sept fois dans la même nuit.

Le prince de Neuchâtel cachait un coeur affectueux sous une enveloppe qu'il s'efforçait de faire paraître rude ; et, de même que l'Empereur, il s'accoutumait difficilement aux visages nouveaux ; mais en revanche sa bienveillante sollicitude n'a jamais cessé de protéger, dans le cours de leur carrière, les officiers qui avaient servi près de lui. Appelé en 1796 aux fonctions de chef d'état-major de l'armée d'Italie, le général Berthier fut associé aux succès de cete mémorable campagne, et dès cette époque il se dévoua au général Bonaparte, dont il avait, en quelque sorte, deviné l'avenir glorieux.

Un jour, à cette même époque, au moment où l'armée faisait sa première entrée dans Milan, le général Berthier et l'ordonnateur en chef de l'armée, son ami, étaient réunis chez le général en chef Bonaparte ; celui-ci eut dans la discussion avec son chef d'état-major un violent accès de colère. A l'issue de la conférence, l'ami du général Berthier lui dit avec émotion :

"Savez-vous bien que cet homme a des emportements intolérables?"

"Vous avez raison, mon cher Denniée ; mais souvenez-vous qu'un jour il sera beau d'être le second de cet homme-là."

Most writers who have discussed the Prince of Neuchâtel have misunderstood his character. The life of Marshal Berthier, Prince of Neuchâtel and Wagram, was, for twenty consecutive years, one of selflessness and dedication. Never did he speak but in the name of the Emperor, and above all he did not allow personal thanks to be addressed to him for the rewards or favours he had managed to obtain for others. His usual reply was:

"Sir, it is not I, it is the Emperor..... it is the Emperor who must be thanked."

The name of the Prince of Neuchâtel was deeply respected in the army. - He was endowed with an upright and just mind, a calm and brilliant valour, untiring activity, and a rare facility in tracing the configuration of land. His most eminent quality as major-general was precise accuracy and passive obedience, free from all comment, to the Emperor's written orders, and finally a foresight so concerned and so meticulous, in the case of important orders, that his precautions might have been regarded as excessive, if, in more than one circumstance, they had not ensured the success of operations. Thus, when the Emperor was conducting manoeuvres at Eylau (Poland 1807), the Prince, given the importance of his orders, successively sent eight staff officers, through different routes, to Marshal Bernadotte. Only one of the eight reached his destination; it was the last officer to leave headquarters; the other seven had been captured.

He was the first to give the example of profound respect towards the Emperor, although such respect was imposed by Napoleon; the Emperor had managed to create such distance between himself and his generals that the Prince of Neuchâtel, the vice-connétable, the major-general of the army, the confidant of his most secret designs, never presented himself before him except in full dress: in full uniform, with boots and spurs, his sword at his side; and this was so night or day, whether at a bivouac or in a palace. On one occasion, in Warsaw (8 January 1807), the Emperor summoned the Prince seventeen times during a single night [Berthier being fully dressed all seventeen times].

The Prince of Neuchâtel hid an affectionate heart while endeavouring to appear severe; and, like the Emperor, he found it difficult to get used to new faces; but on the other hand his kindly solicitude never ceased to protect, in the course of their career, the officers who had been in his service.

Called in 1796 to the functions of chief of staff of the army of Italy, General Berthier contributed to the successes of this memorable campaign, and from then on he committed himself to General Bonaparte, whose glorious future he had, in some way, foreseen.

One day, at the time of the army's first entry into Milan [1796], General Berthier and his friend, the accountant-in-chief of the army [the author's father], were meeting with General-in-chief Bonaparte; the latter had an outburst of intense rage during the discussion with his chief of staff. At the end of this meeting, General Berthier's friend told him with great concern:

"You must be aware that this man’s outbursts are intolerable?"

"You are right, my dear Denniée; but remember that one day it will be a fine thing to be the second in command of that man." https://gallica.bnf.fr/ark:/12148/bpt6k6516642z/f207.item.r=pierre%20paul%20denni%C3%A9e.zoom, pp. 193-197 Here we have the portrait of someone already very accomplished, brilliant in fact, a fully qualified engineer at age 13, and, well before Napoleon, having acquired a reputation as the best chief of staff in all of France. Berthier recognized Napoleon as an exceptionally talented man; Napoleon likewise recognized Berthier as an exceptionally talented man, and one who would quickly become indispensable to reaching his goals.

What I am seeing here is that as early as 1796, the year in which these two men first met, Napoleon already realized he could treat Berthier like dirt without consequence. Berhtier's friend was indignant about Napoleon's fit of rage toward him, but Berthier did not fight back. I've read two biographies about him, and so many times I would have hoped for Berthier to tell Napoleon to shove it. There would have been no consequences: Napoleon needed him much too much for that, but this wasn't in keeping with Berthier's temperament, upbringing, professional training or life experience (remembering what happened to so many of Berthier's superior officers and colleagues during the Terror, which Berthier was very lucky to survive).

Be it as it may, Napoleon was particularly brutal to Berthier during the Russian campaign. I think that Berthier's any remaining illusions about Napoleon’s aims and about his personal relationship with him vanished during that disastrous war. In my opinion, from then on Berthier fought to defend France, rather than for what remained of his faith in Napoleon or personal loyalty to him. He considered Napoleon’s return from Elba as a catastrophy; a virtual prisoner in Bavaria, unable to do anything to defend France and seeing his life’s work turning to ashes, he killed himself.

#marshal berthier #louis-alexandre berthier #napoleonic history #pierre-paul denniée #napoleon's marshals

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moumouton4 · 4 months

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Fluff : 🌺 Smut : 🔥 Angst : 😭 None : 🌲 Incorrect Quotes : 💫

Under The Table 🔥

→ back to Fandom Masterlist ⚜

Characters I write for 👀

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napoleondidthat · 3 years

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two questions AGAIN because i love the bonapartes..

1. What happened to the original bicorne Napoléon wore that's shown in some artwork as him as a general (like in the alps picture)?

2. Are there any more firsthand witnesses to Napoléon's appearance that are funny or interesting?

1. Napoleon had several hats during his lifetime. I think there are maybe seven or so that still exist. He had more than that of course made in his lifetime, when they wore out, they were given to the blacksmith to cut up to use for scraps. The oldest hat that still survives was one that he wore at the Battle of Marengo, and the Musee l'Armee has it in Paris. Four hats went with him to Saint Helena and he is buried with one.

2. Of course! I try to post them as I come across them. Here is one to enjoy from Prussian philosopher and linguist Wilhelm von Humboldt:

"He is small and lean, has a small head, and it seemed to me for such a figure his hands were small and delicate. His face is more oval than round and very spare. His hair is brown and thin. His forehead, as far as I could see from the hair over it, is flatter than it is prominent, and the arch of his eyebrows is strong, marked and well curved, such that his forehead protrudes above his nose. His eyes are large, deep-set and finely contoured, his nose curved, but not hooked though it is cleanly and strongly contoured. His mouth and chin are very masculine, strong, and his chin is especially strong an roundly contoured. His upper lip stands out over the lower one and the line between the corners of his mouth and his nose is rather straight, though without giving an air of harshness or pride. As he is rather lean, his cheekbones are pronounced and all of the muscles of his face move when he speaks, even his nose, and to an astonishing degree. He often makes a blinking movement that makes his lower eyelid rise...though this does not evoke grandeur, but rather makes him look much smaller. He was dressed very simply, in a blue coat and overcoat with sleeves reaching almost his fingers, and in boots and spurs. His hair was in a pigtail and powdered. His physiology has nothing large about it, or heavy, or determined, and he seems to exude more intellectual than moral qualities. He seems clam, pensive, decisive, and, although he has a strong and justified pride, he seems relaxed, perceptive and very serious, as if he is committed only to his work, without any other penchants or interests. Sometimes his expression takes on a harder and cutting edge, especially when he is moving. It would be difficult to imagine him in action, and even more difficult to imagine him enthusiastic. His face is quite modern, and in my opinion is more French than Italian. In terms of the intellectuality of his expression, he could be an example of the ideal of the modern."

His description of Josephine who he found extremely polite, pretty, and delicate....

"Nonetheless, she has a face of a woman of the world, on with a certain amount of experience. Her complexion is yellow. She must be over forty years old. She took pleasure from seeing my children and thought, when my son was speaking German, that he was English. She admired Li's (Karoline, Humboldt's daughter) blond hair, stroked her head, and, with her hand on her hip, let her head rest under her arm."

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everyonewasabird · 3 years

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Brickclub 2.1.18 ‘A fresh bout of divine right’

I’ve said it before, but I love how Hugo contradicts himself. He layers so many truths over each other simultaneously, and he means all of them in different ways.

For a while now we’ve been talking about how the opposite of a Great Man is The People, and how the latter are far more worthwhile. This chapter we shift contexts and acknowledge that the opposite of greatness is littleness.

Napoleon was tyranny and a whole lot of problems, but he captured people’s imaginations, and he meant that something of the revolution continued on. When he fell, no one could fill the space he left, and all the cobbling together of the new government was small and petty and hypocritical. The Bourbons’ unwilling liberalism, which we talked about last chapter as a sign of hope and progress, was actually a lot of depressing, hypocritical bullshit, and everything just sucked for a while. Both these things are true.

We return to a prose form that feels like 1817, but the bitterness feels much closer to the surface than what I remember of that chapter. Like:

Trestaillon became a celebrity.

..Ouch. I’ve been reading a little about the Second White Terror lately, and Fuck. There was a massive amount of mob violence and lynching by the conservatives against the Bonapartists in the south of France this year (which is why it matters that all the Amis grew up there), and Trestaillon was one of the bloodiest of the terrorists.

So in a few tonally blank, high-context sentences, we watch the age of Bonaparte buried by the Bourbons. It’s the direct prequel to 1817: this here is how we became so disconnected from the past as we were in that year--or it’s how we got pressured by kings and terrorists to pretend to be.

And Napoleon changes meaning. When he was a living threat to the world, we needed to fear his tyranny and grieve the lives lost to his misdeeds. Now, when he’s only the ghost of a bygone glory, people can place on him other meanings. They lack liberty, so they see liberty in him.

There are some amazing lines:

Yet the people, that cannon fodder so in love with the cannoneer, looked around for him.

and

Something enormous remained empty for a long time when Napoléon vanished.

Napoleon’s greatness exists in opposition to the littleness that followed him, but Napoleon in this chapter is also little: a petty tyrant better than what followed him, but neither he nor the Bourbons is true progress or the real future. Where there is greatness in Napoleon, it’s only in what the people attach to his memory--ideas of liberty and glory and the past and the future that are worth far more than he is.

The chapter ends with:

But what does that matter to eternity? That whole tempest, that whole cloud, the war and after it the peace, the whole shadow-play, did not darken for a moment the gleam of the immense eye before which an aphid hopping from one blade of grass to another is equal to the eagle flying from spire to spire among the towers of Notre-Dame.

Hugo, ever masterful at determining the scope of the lens we see through, pulls all the way back at last. Louis XVIII may be an aphid, and Napoleon may be an eagle, but mankind’s destiny is far greater than either.

#brickclub #lm 2.1.18

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moon-yean · 3 years

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could u elaborate what was so bad about the barbarians? i saw the show and thought it was ok but i don't have enough knowledge to know what are the ideological implications of it? sorry, just really curious and wanna learn more

*takes a deep breath* oh boy, where to even begin? Thanks for your question as I might finally get this off my chest! Okay, fair’s fair, anyone who likes the show should look away now because I’m not going to mince words. And I want to reiterate that there were things about the show that I liked, mostly on a superficial aesthetical level. Generally you could tell from the get-go though that the writers are hacks who know nothing about history or good storytelling for that matter. I could’ve dealt with a show that was historically inaccurate if only the character drama had been written well. I might also have enjoyed the show more if the character drama had been mediocre but if there had been a sense of historical authenticity (not accuracy, mind; but still something tangibly more substantial than the patina they tried to throw onto their frankly embarrassingly lowbrow attempt by having parts of the dialogue translated into Latin by an expert and by hiring a good crew for the costume and props design - of the Romans at least... putting lipstick on a pig and all that, although pigs are great and the writing here is not).

Since you asked about the ideological implications specifically, I’ll start with that and work my way towards other criticisms (this is going to be LONG):

19th century nationalism: The story of Arminius and his merry band of brothers who defy the big bad Roman empire is a narrative that became especially popular in Germany in the 18th and 19th century, both with liberal patriotic movements that were advocating for the unification of the “German cultural nation” in a modern nation state (spurred by the Wars of Liberation against Napoléon Bonaparte and French occupation) and later with the völkisch movements where that nationalism segued into the pseudo-scientific racial ‘theories’ of a ‘superior German race’ which in turn was part of the ideological foundation of the genocides and atrocities committed by Germany in the 20th century (not only in WWII, see also the colonial genocide of the Herero in 1904). We cannot disentangle this predominantly racist reception history that re-invented Arminius (”Hermann der Cherusker” - “Hermann the Cheruscan” - or, indeed “Hermann the German” ha!) as the founding myth of a German people from the way this story has been depicted in media, entertainment and culture and, as evidenced by Barbarians, continues to be to this day.

Barbarians pays lip service to the fact that actually there was no German people at the time by having the tribes meet at the Ting in the first episode and have someone outright state it. These kinds of tidbits literally voiced by characters give off a strong whiff of the authors googling something, reading something on Wikipedia, and then putting it in there. I’m sorry (actually not sorry) to come down harsh on this but given what we’re talking about here, that’s just not good enough. It’s an embarrassing level of “writing”. The authors clearly have NO idea what they’re talking about or what they’re dealing with because despite their lip services, they actively reproduce the harmful narratives that were spun around this actual historical event and these actual historical figures in the 19th century. No effort was made to depict anything complex or realistic here. Case in point: Even though there’s a pretense that the tribes aren’t part of the same people, they don’t look much different from each other, they all speak the same kind of modern high German that sounds like they’re at a costume party in the year of our lord 2020 (and in the case of Folkwin, drugged out of their mind; he sounds like a guy who’d throw beer cans at passersby). They come across as basically just being separated by the few acres between their villages. And then when the big bad evil Roman empire wants to squash their resistance (Asterix did it better change my mind challenge), freedom fighter Arminius rallies them together with a heroic speech and they charge at the Romans RAAHWWHR! ... no, just no.

There would have been SO MANY ways to reframe and retell this story in a fresh, new, and exciting way that would have made for amazing character drama. The premise is so good. If we were to look at the basics of what is known, there are so many personal AND political complexities in there that just beg to be coloured in with a little imagination. I just... I don’t even know where to begin to fix the choices that the show did go with since most of them don’t make any sense, don’t contribute anything to the narrative and are just. there. Have y’all noticed that there is ZERO dramatic tension in any of the scenes? Like, what? How?? Culture clash, divided loyalties, identity issues, the way that a militaristic upbringing might warp the mind, feelings of home and belonging and displacement, the return of the lost son, the betrayal of a high-ranking officer, just, there are so many themes that the show could have focused on but it botches all of them, nothing of it feels real, earned, or logical. Characters behave in idiotic ways for the sake of the plot (I wanted to like Thusnelda, I really did, I’m always here for female characters but she was so painfully obviously written by 3 dudes who thought that feminism = praying to the good sisters of the forest and slashing your face aöldksfaökdjf plus the actress could not sell any of it, she sounded ridic).

I’m exhausted just thinking about the many ways in which the writing on the show sucked. Impaired character used as a symbol~ for other characters instead of being a character on his own? Check. Weird mystical shit? Check. Earthbound tribal people who are one with nature? Check. Death on the cross to get that Christian imagery in there? Check. Lack of female characters except feisty!badass!Thusnelda, scheming!conniving!pulling-the-strings!wife, weird!mystical!seer? Check. Varus doing a Herod by demanding first-borns to up the Christian persecuted ante? Check. (All he was missing was the mustache to twirl. Was he even a character? He looked vaguely concerned and sceptical. That was his character.)

Look, the actor Arminius was great but even he couldn’t make sense of any of it. The character work was so shoddy, it was shocking. One minute he’s still all-in with the Romans, ordering lashes for “German” mercenaries without being very conflicted about it, reminiscing with fellow Roman soldiers about the good old times in some fireside bonding, asking his foster father to go home to Rome, and then when bad!dad is like “lol no” (surely they would have had that convo before??? surely Arminius would have known how far his career could go???), Arminius turns around and goes “let’s kill 3 Roman legions!! I’M MAD!!” ... lmao dude, just...

Another favourite of mine: The romance between Thusnelda and Folkwin is supposed to be illicit and against her social status. Does anyone even notice? Does anybody even care? Why did the writers come up with Folkwin in the first place? (His name Folkwin Wolfspeer is a hoot and an embarassment in itself. I wonder whether they used some kind of Germanic name generator. They certainly did use a generic speech generator for the battle speech Arminius gives in the last episode lol)

Back to the topic of a lack of tension. Of course there can’t be any tension if the characters suck. But it’s also because of the design of the scenes and plot points. The cliffhangers are so telegraphed and artificially constructed, it’s almost hilarious. My “favourite” has got to be the one of the first episode: The “hi dad” one. Not only does Arminius go to the village with other Romans in tow who then disappear because nothing in this show makes sense but this kind of revelation also goes against everything we know about good storytelling. There’s a famous quote by Hitchcock and I’ll quote it in full because I think it absolutely applies here (and it is valid for character tension as much as it is for suspense):

There is a distinct difference between "suspense" and "surprise," and yet many pictures continually confuse the two. I'll explain what I mean.

We are now having a very innocent little chat. Let's suppose that there is a bomb underneath this table between us. Nothing happens, and then all of a sudden, "Boom!" There is an explosion. The public is surprised, but prior to this surprise, it has seen an absolutely ordinary scene, of no special consequence. Now, let us take a suspense situation. The bomb is underneath the table and the public knows it, probably because they have seen the anarchist place it there. The public is aware the bomb is going to explode at one o'clock and there is a clock in the decor. The public can see that it is a quarter to one. In these conditions, the same innocuous conversation becomes fascinating because the public is participating in the scene. The audience is longing to warn the characters on the screen: "You shouldn't be talking about such trivial matters. There is a bomb beneath you and it is about to explode!"

In the first case we have given the public fifteen seconds of surprise at the moment of the explosion. In the second we have provided them with fifteen minutes of suspense. The conclusion is that whenever possible the public must be informed. Except when the surprise is a twist, that is, when the unexpected ending is, in itself, the highlight of the story.

I hope you can see what I mean here. Barbarians continuously springs surprises on its audience but it has absolutely no tension/suspense in any of its scenes. The only time where the show even comes close to having any kind of genuinely dramatic moment is the conversation between Arminius and Varus where Arminius tries to hide his hurt and disappointment, and all the emotion in that scene is completely due to the actor since the dialogue is fairly idiotic for what is supposed to be the turning moment. Let’s go back to the basics and imagine what the show could have done differently, even allowing for the way in which the writers wanted to tell it (which, as I mentioned, is not appropriately sensitized to the misappropriation of the material in the past - but even if we go with THAT kind of freedom fighter / lost child narrative, it ought to be done well). And here now follows my actual essay of grievances:

The premise of the story, in as much as we know from history, is amazing: An officer of the Roman army, delivered to the Romans by his tribe as a child, returns to the "country" of his birth as part of the invading Roman army which oppresses the natives of the lands. He switches sides, unites different tribes and leads them to a decisive victory against the Roman army in a battle in a forest that lasted for several days and was cleverly planned by the "Germans" who end up outsmarting the Romans who are victims of ambush and the terrain, being split up and stumbling through the forest exhausted and without finding a way back to the other troops (love that the show as we have it managed to squeeze in the cliché "two armies standing on opposing sides decide to just start running towards each other, epic clash, chaos" (which is militarily so fucking stupid and nobody ever did that)).

Anyway, that premise is amazing. You could do so much with it. And if you wanted to make a miniseries about it, the biggest question would surely be: Why did Arminius switch sides? That’s the key plot point. And themes of otherness, oppression, exploitation, identity, and so on, would be a good fit. The first problem with the miniseries is that it has nothing to say about any of that. Arminius doesn’t even feel like the main character (aside from his actor being a cut above the rest). We don’t get to see much of his POV. We don’t get many meaningful conversations between him and Varus (actually just one after which he has a total character transplant). Instead, we get to spend lots of time with characters that don’t add anything in particular to the central plot nor to any of the central themes. Literally, why? 6 episodes is already pretty fucking short to make Arminius’ turn believable, so you’d better spend most of them on him. This is not material for an ensemble show (nevermind that the other characters suck and are not well-acted and written to behave stupidly... that’s just ON TOP of the fundamental issue of this show lacking a POV).

Like, you can turn this into a big Hollywood action movie about the battle or you make it a character drama where the battle is also told from a character perspective (i.e. focusing on the mounting fear and desperation of the soldiers as the battle drags on for days etc but more importantly focusing on why the battle takes place and why it’s important to both the Romans and the “Germans”). As it is, in the show, we don’t get any idea why the Romans are even there in the first place and pestering the people by demanding some tributes. And we don’t get any idea why the Germanic tribes are so opposed to this or why others of them might not be. We don’t get any of the broader political implications, we just get some eagle-stealing pranks (defiance!! cool, just agitate them in a completely stupid and arbitrary way, why don’t you) and a few people executed because the “Germans” were being stupid. That’s not the scale that’s needed here. And I don’t mean that we needed to see mass executions. In fact, I would have preferred if there had been no such hackneyed and emotionally manipulative device.

Arminius is basically absent for all the early encounters of the Romans with the “Germans”. So while we suspect that the mistreatment of the “Germans” at the hands of the Romans would be a strong motivational factor for him, we don’t actually see him witness any of few hints in that direction that we get, so it doesn’t actually matter for his character arc. I have so many issues with how his arc is written. In the first episodes, we don’t get any sense that he’s not a happy Roman. When a “Barbarian” mercenary ridicules Rome, he has him whipped and we don’t get much of a sense that he’s very conflicted about it. Even just moments before he ends up destroying his effigies of Roman gods, we see him trying to get Varus to send him back to Rome. Earlier in the same episode, he prays to those Roman gods. I’m sorry but wtf? How the turntables... If you want to make it believable that he would turn on Rome, why not start with him already being frustrated with the way that things in Rome work? With the way the army is run? And why not give him a careerist streak and make him frustrated that he can’t advance much further because of his lowly birth and background? And instead of Varus being an asshole to him about it (he’s supposed to be his foster father, surely Arminius would already know how Varus thinks about his people and surely he’d already know how far he can climb up the ranks), have Varus be sympathetic but basically like “sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

Arminius betraying Rome shouldn’t be about Varus saying something mean~, if anything a personal connection of his with Varus should just make the betrayal harder and be something that he does despite the fact that there are Romans he cares about. If you start out the show with him already having significant doubts about his place in the Roman army and identity issues, you just need to add something to it that will finally breaks the camel’s back. Have him become increasingly agitated by the way the "Germans” are treated by the Romans. Start the show with him making to leave Rome, someone asking him whether he’s excited to return to his place of birth and him joking about it but obviously being conflicted and then overwhelmed when he actually gets there because it totally destroys his sense of self which he has built for himself (and for which we would have needed to see the contrast, even if just for one scene, of how he is treated in Rome – perhaps snobbed by others, not treated equally in some sort of social setting, could be something subtle – to show us and him that as much as he wishes, he is not and will never be accepted as a Roman).

And then when he gets to the provinces, we need to see that from his perspective. What’s his reaction to arriving there? To seeing the familiar landscapes? (Or maybe he was taken as a younger child and doesn’t actually have that many memories of it but feels a sense of belonging anyway.) There are so many scenes in this show that seem to hint at these things but they are completely random and unfocused and interspersed with the stupid village people shenanigans. Varus talks about burning down villages in retribution. Well, why don’t we see any of that? (Nevermind that it’s comic book villain level of evil, but I’m working with a fix here and not a total rewrite as would be better.) Surely it can’t be too expensive to burn down a few huts in the night. And having Arminius ride along / witness it but not say anything even though we can see these things having an effect on him. As mentioned: The worst offense is the scene when he rides to the village (with other Romans in tow!) and announces “hi dad!” just to have that cliffhanger. Wtf?

Characters doling out information that the viewer doesn’t have is the absolute worst way of telling a story and maintaining tension. It should be the other way around. How about instead you have him be part of a Roman delegation that rides into the village and demands [random, whatever, the fucking eagle if you must keep that shit] and when the Reik (whom the audience already knows to be Arminius’ father) doesn’t want to give it (because he’s not actually a weak fucking clown as almost everyone in the actual show is aside from feisty Thusnelda who’s a fierce~ fucking clown rmfe), the Romans begin beating the dad or whipping him or whatever, completely humiliating him and his people, and we see Arminius on his horse watching the show with growing unrest until the realization really hits him that this is his father (cue flashback to a very young Arminius being dragged away) and the tension keeps ratcheting until he shouts in German “that’s enough” before correcting himself to give the same command in Latin (maybe he still thinks in German, would be an interesting idea) and the Romans look at him with suspicion, like wtf was that, and the "Germans” are like, why tf does this Roman officer speak German, and it’s super awkward and shit and maybe Varus is also there and he looks at Arminius like, oh shit I need to protect my boy he’s actually all up in his feels about these wildlings let’s go back to the camp and have a talk, and so the Romans end up leaving and the “Germans” are like “wait, was that... could it have been.. remember lil Ari who you gave up... but it couldn’t be...” and meanwhile the beaten dad doesn’t want to hear any of that because he actually has never dared hope he would see his son again and also he kind of doesn’t want to see him again because he would be too ashamed to meet his eyes.

And then later we see Arminius pacing up and down in his tent because this won’t let him go, even after he had a talk with Varus, and after some agonizing he steals away in the night to go confront his father (if you want to keep that German mercenary noticing shit, have him notice that). And then we see the father in his hut and everything is quiet and we are waiting for Arminius to show up because we know he’s on his way. But we don’t know whether he wants to talk to his father or just kill him in revenge for the trauma he’s caused him. You’d show the dad and if it were a good actor, you could see so much in his unrest, maybe despite not wanting to think that that guy could be his son, he kind of knows in his heart that it must be and he’s unsettled and whatnot and then we hear someone outside the door and the door opens and there stands Arminius in a cloak and there’s none of that ridiculous music that wants to scream “epic” but falls way short. Have it be quiet. Have Arminius enter and pull back the hood and they just look at each other. And the dad looks like he wants to hug him but he doesn’t move. And Arminius looks like he wants to murder him but he actually moves to sit down, all the while they keep an eye on each other because who knows, they might actually end up murdering each other. That’s the kind of confrontation you need with a reunion like this jfc. And then they talk and it’s an important scene and I’m not going to write it all out but I hope y’all know what I mean.

I feel like you’d have to rewrite this whole show to actually give the character drama the weight that it needs and deserves because what’s happening in the show is dramatic af but you wouldn’t know because it’s so unbelievably stupidly written. I CANNOT believe that when Arminius is back in the village, he’s standing around with Thusnelda and Folkwin in a field as if they’re catching up at a high school reunion. “So, how’s it been?” “My name is now Arminius lol” “You’re kidding lol” ... uhm hello ??? Is this show a meme or...???

Actually as a last thought, I would have kept Arminius’ mother alive and killed his dad. His dad is irredeemable. He gave him away. But if we assume that he never had a substitute mother, then meeting his mother again (who was against giving him away) would make for much more interesting scenes and would also have a much stronger impact on Arminius. I’ll stop now but I just wanted to note how much I hate the writing on this show and everything it chooses to be. Thanks.

#anonymous #ask #reply #barbarians spoilers #barbarians meta #tv: barbarians #txt #i feel like there is so much more to say #actually the show would need to be rewritten from scratch to be either a good character drama or a good period drama or both #forget my fix here #you can't fix stupid #the whole motivation for arminius' betrayal would need to be revamped #with an eye towards the ways in which it has been misused #in history #but at the same time the story DOES need to be told from his POV imo and it's not here and that's the biggest issue #the conflict within the Roman army would have made for the most intriguing approach #and all that childhood sweetheart bs has to go #that was the worst #so soapy and plain bad #can you imagine how amazing it would've been for roman officer arminius to meet germanic princess thusnelda for the first time?#(if she had been written and acted well)#what could have been...#imma cry #(also WHY is varus the actual foster father of arminius instead of just a higher-ranking officer who takes him under his wing #when he joins up bc he takes a liking to the kid? just... aöldjsfaökdjls)

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