5: Introducing Addie
Date: 8-26-2016 IDST
Nalitie: *runs at Dukermin*
Dukermin: Uh hi.
Nalitie: WE NEED MORE RECRUITS. DAVE IS GETTING ANtsY. AND PAPYRUS IS LONELY INT EH ROYAL ROY'l guard.
Dukermin: Hmm... Ooh! *devious face*
*dramatic pause*
Dukermin: Lets go kidnap my soster
Nalitie: *overly dramatic gasp and thunder because she's been spending too much time with Mettaton* yeah okay, where does she live?
Dukermin: On Earth, as far as I know. *dials Addie"s number*
(somewhere on earth)
Addie: *trys to anwser the phone but trips and cant get up*
(back on erscoga)
Dukermin: She didnt pick up. SOMEONE MUST BE HOLDING HER HOSTAGE WE MUST GO SAVE HER *flies away*
Nalitie: YEAH *flies and also opens a lunchbox portal to Earth (and NOT Mackinaw City again)*
(back on earth)
Addie: *calls the number back* hello
Dukermin: ADDIE YOU ARE SAFE WE ARE COMING TO GET YOU STAY RIGHT THERE AND DON'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR STRANGERS *hangs up*
Addie: um ok...
(Flyig through space and time)
Nalitie: *has reached Earth first and (attempts to) kick(s) down the door, but fails and also realizes it's the wrong door*
Guy: *inside house* Hey! *goes to call the police*
Dukermin: *is at right house* *Slams door down*
Addie: *screams then realizes it's her soster*
(Meanwhile, Nalitie has been arrested for attempted break-in)
Dukermin: COME WE HAVE TO SAVE YOU- where'd Nalitie go?
Addie: whos that!?
(Police cars are gathering at the neighbor's house across the street; Nalitie continues to resist and is trying to uproot houses with the ground severer)
Dukermin: YOU AREN'T MAKING IT BETTER *runs across the street with Addie in tow*
Addie: IM SO CONFUSED!
Nalitie: I'M FEELING DAZED (and feeling used)
Dukermin: *to police officers* Sorry, sir...s there was a bit of a mix up. We came here to kidna- I MEAN pick up this girl *gestures to Addie*
Nalitie: I AIN'T FROM THIS DIMENSION, Y'HEAR? I WANT MAH LAWYER!
Addie: *faints from all the confusion*!
Dukermin: Excuse me one moment *grabs shopping cart from garage and puts Addie in it* Now if you don't mind we'll just go back to where we came from.
Nalitie: YEAH! AND I'M TAKIN' THIS HERE HOUSE! *groundsevers an anthill* IT'S FOR THE SPIDERS, Y'HEAR? THE SPIDERS! *goes back to, uh, her house on Termata*
Addie: *wakes up* ok lets do this. What are we doing?
Dukermin: Well, IM shoving you into a lunchbox *does so* *yells into it* DON'T FORGET TO FLIP!!! *goes into lunchbox after her*
Police Officers: *confused*
Addie: ok!
DUkermin: *Is at Nalitie's house* Welcome to Nalitie(and a bunch of other people)'s home!
Addie: who is this girl!?
Nalitie: *in an intense narrator voice* I am Nalitie. *gestures to a woman with curly brown hair* This is Christine. *gestures to a male version of herself* This is Steven. *gestures to a blue fish woman* This is Undyne. *gestures to Willy Wonka* This is my husband, Willy Wonka. And you must be Addie?
Addie: I love the candy you make* talking to willy wonka*
Nalitie: *in a deep, menacing voice to rival Undyne's* WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN OUR WAR?
Dukermin: *runs away to kitchen to make ramen noodles*
Addie: yes and my name isnt addie its noodles.
Nalitie: *yelling to Dukermin* WAIT DONT USE MY KITCHEN, ALL I HAVE ARE SNAILS AND SOUL-FLAVORED CAKES BECAUSE EVERYONE KEEPS USING MY KTICHEN. There might still be some of that de-aging baby food too...
Addie: Just kidding
Dukermin: *comes back with snail-flavored noodles* *gives it to Addie/Noodles*
Addie: i said I wanted chicken ramen noodles not this snail flavored stuff.
Nalitie: Toriel would be so proud of you right now. *starts thinking up ways to develop the Addie* Hey, Dukermin, what would you name a Mog?
Addie: nalitie why are you speaking gibberish
Dukermin: *to Addie* She's not she makes perfect sense. *to Nalitie* And why?
Addie: what planet do you guys live on
Nalite: We's are on Termata! Dukermin, Addie, come with me into my basement. *goes down the stairs, but the wrong staircase which leads to the coffins that previously housed 6 dead humans* *comes back up* Wrong basement... *goes into her OTHER basement*
Dukermin: Oh goodness gracious...*follows*
Addie: i dont know if I want to see whats in your basment.
Nalitie: *leads them into a gross looking hallway* Jeez, I really need to clean this place...
Addie: its very creepy down here
Nalitie: Yeah sorry... *lights a Candle Grandma candle* But I have someone to show you.
Candle Grandma: *is summoned* I SMELL PEACH BELLINI
Nalitie: CANDLE GRANDMA! *hugs her* Where'd Dukermin go?
Addie: did you kill her
Candle Grandma: NO OH DEARIE ME NO ! She just kinda... I don't know?
Nalitie: It's fine. *to Adalade, in a British accent* Killing is not allowed in Erscoga. Unless it's wartime. On Riewa. *contineus on into a room where there is what looks like a grey, floating dumpling with many red eyes*
DUkermin: *is summoned back* ohh geez it's a Mog.
Nalitie: AND it's a REAL Mog. You see, the fake mogs were based off a real, although much more docile, species of monster. It'd be weird if they just randomly showed up, so the Lorunians based theirs on real Mogs. This, my friends, is a real Mog. And he needs a name.
Mog Jr.: *mog noises*
Addie: you know what I really want, a dragon
Mog Jr: *more Mog noises towards Addie*
Addie: *to mog* Really?
Mog Jr: *Mog noises* (translation, sure: I mean, a dragon would be really cool...)
Addie: does everyone know what this mog is saying
Dukermin: You can understand him?
Nalitie: *makes weird Mog noises, but has no idea what she's saying* (I llama squirrels and teeth are terrorizing the floorboards?)
Addie: *laughs*
Dukermin: Hmm... *summons Dog* Talk to my shadowhound.
Addie: Hello you are so adorable, what"s your name.
Dog: *stares* (I want sausage.)
Mog Jr: OH MY GOD SO DO I.
Addie: Sorry guys i don't have any sausage.
Mog Jr: Do you have monster food?
Dukermin: *is confused, watching...*
Nalitie: *trying to add to the conversation* (me ketchup and RoGG while yarn eats pants with dog shorts. I mean, pink and English because Mettaton and jokes.)
Addie:*pulls monster food out of back pocket* here now Im going to stop talking to animals.
Dukermin: hmm... I wonder what else you can do...?
Nalitie: We hshould see how she fights.
Addie: first I want a dragon
Nalitie: Later. TO PLUTO! *grabs Addie (mostly using the Force) and brings her to Pluto to find a training dummy that's not occupied by a ghost* We can start with this dummy, then try your defensive tactics and dodging skills.
Addie: im not a fighter but i"ll attack this dummy
Nalitie: *mutters to Dukermin, who's not there yet* she doesn't need to be, does she?
(The Training Dummy stands there absentmindedly.
*| Fight
*| Act
*| Item
*| Mercy)
Nalitie: So, on your turn, you choose one of these buttons, and sometimes a menu will pop up and you'll have to choose what you want to do.
Addie: lets fight *sneeks up on the dummy and jumps on his back*
Dummy: ... (-20 hp)
(It's Addie's turn again.
*| Fight
*| Act
*| Item
*| Mercy)
Addie:fight
Addie: grabs by arm and trys to flip him
Dummy: *is fliiped* (-897 hp, why not, I'm sick of this fight)
Addie: ok im leaving to go get a dragon.
Nalitie: NOOO *tackles her* I MUST SHOW YOU SOMETHING, THAT IS WHY I KILLED THE DUMMY FOR YOU. *starts a FIGHT with her, then brings out Addie's SOUL* See that heart? That is your SOUL--the very culmination of your being! *pauses to make sure Addie's following her train of thought*
Addie:ok
Nalitie: Your SOUL starts off weak, but that's okay, because you don't need to gain any LOVE by killing people. We don't need that.
Addie: ok
Nalitie: Sometimes, certain enemies will throw magic attacks at your SOUL, like so: *throws attacks at Addie so she can try dodging*
Addie: * just barely dodges it*
Nalitie: You have a nice SOUL though. Green, the color of Kindness, just like Kadin.
Dukermin: *is clueless, pulling a loose thread from her shirt* *looks up* Ooh what color is my soul?
Nalitie: *also initiates a fight with her* Blue. Like Temima.
Dukermin: *is suddenly wearing a tutu*
(Meanwhile)
Papyrus: *approaches Candle Grandma, wearing nice clothes to show he cares*
Candle Grandma: *is trying to sell a candle to a monster kid*
Monster Kid: I'm sorry, I don't have any money! *runs into the best western*
Papyrus: *clears his non-existent throat*
Candle Grandma: *turns to him* Oh hello, Papyrus, dear.
Papyrus: MISS CANDLE GRANDMA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL TAKE YOU ON A DATE!
Candle Grandma: Oh my, that sounds lovely!
Papyrus: I WISH TO TAKE YOU TO SOMEWHERE THAT I SPEND A LOT OF TIME, BUT IT IS CURRENTLY SWARMED BY MY ADORING FANS. INSTEAD, I WILL TAKE YOU TO A HUMAN RESORT CALLED DISNEY WORLD! IT SOUNDS VERY LOVELY.
Candle Grandma: Ooh I've never been there!
Papyrus: ALSO, NOW THAT WE ARE IN ERSCOGA AND NOT IN THE UNDERGROUND, I HAVE A PORTAL TO TAKE YOU THERE! *shows her the lunchbox portal*
Candle Grandma: Well, would you look at that fancy-dancy thing!
Papyrus: *hooks arms with Candle Grandma* Shall we?
Candle Grandma: We shall! *lunchboxing*
(And so they went to Disney World)
Papyrus: WOWIE! ISN'T THIS PLACE GREAT? OH, AND DON'T FORGET TO PRESS C TO ACTIVATE YOUR DATING HUD!
C
Papyrus: WHERE WOULD YOU YOU LIKE TO START, CANDLE GRANDMA?
Candle Grandma: Please... call me Candle!
Papyrus: OKAY, CANDLE, WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FIRST? I'VE HEARD THAT... UM... ACTUALLY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE SHOULD GO.
Candle Grandma: Let's go on a ride!
Papyrus: WELL, THERE IS ONE RIGHT OVER THERE! *points*
(The ride is a Dumbo ride for little kids)
Candle Grandma: *gets in/on an elephant*
Papyrus: *also in/on the elephant with her*
Little kids: *staring*
Dumbo Ride: *riding*
Papyrus: DISNEY WORLD IS A VERY NICE PLACE, DONT YOU THINK?
Candle Grandma: It's lovely!
Some sort of Authority: Hey! You! *is calling to Papyrus*
Candle GRAndma: Yes, dearie?
Authority: Ma'am, is that a skeleton?
Candle Grandma: Maybe...
Authority: Does he have the permit to wear that costume here?
Candle Grandma *pulls out Chocolate Mint candle* How about... i give you this here candle, and you don't bother us on our date...?
Authority: I'm sorry, ma'am, but the only people allowed to wear costumes without permits are children and employees. I'm going to have to ask your friend here to change into normal clothes.
Papyrus: AM I NOT ALLOWED TO WEAR MY DATE CLOTHES?
Authority: Look, guys, I'm not sure what kind of weird cult date this might be, but costumes aren't allowed. Unless you are a child or employee.
Dumbo ride: *is probably done riding*
Papyrus: *turns to Candle Grandma* I AM CONFUSED... I AM NOT WEARING A COSTUME, AM I? I BELIEVE THESE ARE JUST MY DATE CLOTHES. *gestures to his Cool Dude shirt*
Candle Grandma: *to officer* He is NOT wearing a costume. Would you please leave us alone?
authority: Are you suggesting that this man is a skeleton?
Candle Grandma: I'm not merely SUGGESTING it dearie... it's true.
Papyrus: INDEED! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND I AM 100% SKELETON!
Man: *inspecting Papyrus* *goes to examine his arm, which accidentally comes off* *screams and drops the arm*
Papyrus: DO NOT WORRY, HUMAN! IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL FOR MY LIMBS TO DETACH IF PULLED TOO HARD!
Man: *calling every authority ever*
Candle Grandma: *is gingerly putting Papyrus back together*
(The rest of this file has, unfortunately, been lost to time. The content in it, however, still stands.)
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