dejounte murray is being so petty about this paolo situation like just admit he stood you up and leave us alone

1x04 | The Ones Who Live

so i read Ghost's backstory comics earlier today

I'll probably stay awhile.

lyrical development

oh, thank god i sold my soul. glitter, smoke + rock and roll ♫

finished dhes & kel's character pages so here are the lil edits i made for both of em :-)

wanted 2 make a lil height comparison thing 4 some of my fav guys :o)

ID: digital fanart of DocM77, RenDog, MumboJumbo, and Grian (MCYT), all smiling and standing close to each other. Doc is the tallest (7 feet 7 inches/231 centimeters), standing at the back-center. Ren is the second tallest (6 feet 9 inches/205 centimeters), standing at the middle-right. Mumbo is the third tallest (6 feet 5 inches/195 centimeters), standing at the middle-left. Grian is the shortest (5 feet/152 cm), standing at the front-center. End ID

do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?

that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.

maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.

like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.

he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.

of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.

so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.

of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.

just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.

BRO THEY DID RARE FFIDYLL DIRTY-

x

whoever decided to make me so emotional about fictional characters deserves to be shot.

Like, I'm ok with real people. Worst case scenario I'll cry cause Im terrified that me calling your outfit cute has somehow offended you. Fictional characters? NOPE NO CHILL

If I think about characters I like too hard I feel actual physical pain because my stupid brain decided to gaslight the rest of me into thinking of them more like real people than ACTUAL real people. So to my STUPID BRAIN they are just friends I can't hug.

LIKE WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS BRAIN??? NO I DONT WANT TO CRY CAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY MADE THE SILLY OLD MAN DISAPPOINTED??? BUT NO, I GUESS IM GOING TO SOB INTO MY PILLOW CAUSE I THINK I UPSET HIM (he's not even real?????)

Love when fundamentalist christians call other fundamentalist christians a cult like I can accept telling children they'll go to hell if they don't hug the parent that spanked them and smile, but I draw the line at suggesting barcodes contain the mark of the beast

I’m sorry but you camera for the show? What? I’m so high rn I can’t understand this. You see the show happen right. And you do the lights or whatever and the characters are litterally there and have you met the actors? Do u interact with them?? Is the magic of the show ruined for you because you see them go in and out of character???? Does it give you a different perspective on the show? If this is too much for you and you don’t want to interact with this message then ignore!!❤️❤️❤️

im a digital utility (/addt'l 2nd AC), so unless im covering one of the 2nds, i basically just set up all the teradek receivers/monitors so the directors, the DP, and the makeup dept can see wats happening on set without having to be on set (i change A Lot of batteries too)

and ykno, as far as the magic goes, the show had alredy sort of...stopped being as intense of an obsession for me as it used to be b4 i got the job on set, so it ended up being a somewhat natural shift once i got to see behind the curtain

like, dont get me wrong, i still have Mental Issues lmao, i am still not normal abt it, but it used to be so so so much worse nd th show rly consumed basically 100% of my headspace almost nonstop

so because i had kinda wound down b4 getting to work on set, it like...? it revived my love ig? but n a new way, w a new outlook that im happy to have. like, theres ben a change in energy n th past couple seasons anyways, so its felt p normal stepping into it in a new way too

that being said, i will just drop some old tags here: