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destiny-fics · 7 months

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Baby Said - Kim Hongjoong, Park Seonghwa

[Kim Hongjoong x Park Seonghwa x Fem!reader]

Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Park Seonghwa x Fem!reader

Genre: smut, non-idol!au, sugar daddy!au

Summary: Becoming the sugar baby for married couple Kim Hongjoong and Park Seonghwa hadn't been in your original life plan, but you had learnt very quickly that the biggest benefit to being Hongjoong and Seonghwa's baby, was Hongjoong and Seonghwa themselves.

Warnings: smut, mommy kink, Seonghwa likes to be called mommy, polyamory, bisexual Hongjoong and Seonghwa, married Hongjoong and Seonghwa, threesome (mxmxf), oral (m receiving), vouyerism, dom!Hongjoong and Seonghwa, sub!reader, swearing, reader gets called: baby, good girl, princess, alcohol consumption, sugar daddies Hongjoong and Seonghwa, sugar baby reader, unprotected sex (please don’t do this), Hongjoong likes to watch and Matz are both nasty as hell

A/n: hey y'all! It's...it's been a while. Ngl I've just been so busy I haven't had time to write/really been inspired by anything. So I just, disappeared lol. This isn't a promise that I'll be back soon, but I was inspired while procrastinating studying for an exam and this little Matz piece was born. I hope you all enjoying it and thanks for sticking around!

Smut under the cut. Minors DNI

"I'm so fucking proud of you, you know that? You worked so hard, you deserve everything baby," You laughed at Seonghwa's words, the man pressing desperate kisses to the side of your neck as you sipped on your champagne.

"Only after the first hundred times you told me Hwa," you giggled again, melting against Seonghwa as he nipped your neck playfully. Your plan for celebrating your university graduation had originally been to attend a party with some of your classmates, but when your sugar daddies turned boyfriends surprised you by coming home early from their work trip to see your ceremony and celebrate with you, your celebratory plans had quickly led you back to your boyfriends' apartment and into their arms.

You liked to maintain that becoming a sugar baby had never actually been a part of your life plan.

No, that hadn’t been a part of your plan at all. You were going to graduate high school top of your class, go to one of the best universities in the country and graduate top of your class there too, so you could go into the best job in your field. You hadn’t anticipated spilling coffee all over the suit of the Kim Hongjoong while working as a barista three years into your degree, nor had you anticipated him and his husband Park Seonghwa offering to pay for any expenses you needed them to, so that you could focus on your final year of your degree, only wanting to spend a couple of hours a week in your company in return.

And you absolutely could not have anticipated a relationship which had begun as purely transactional between you and the two men to blossom into the dreamlike romance you had found yourself in. The men didn’t do anything by halves, Hongjoong had told you on your third date, and they had never wanted the relationship with you to be only transactional, they had always wanted something more.

So no, none of it had been a part of your original plan.

However, despite that you couldn’t find yourself complaining all that much, for what was there to complain about when you had Hongjoong and Seonghwa? The perfect additions to your life.

"What about you Joong?" You hummed softly, moving your gaze to that of your other lover, sipping his own champagne as he watched you both with dark eyes. "Are you proud of me?"

The man smirked as you addressed him, taking another slow sip of his champagne. "Of course I'm proud of you my princess, I'm always proud of you."

You smiled, delighted with his response, gasping softly as Seonghwa continued his trail of kisses across your neck. "Yeah? Wanna show me how proud?"

"I think Seonghwa’s doing enough of that right now," Hongjoong’s smirk widened when Seonghwa hummed in agreement. "Maybe I'll just watch for a bit, what do you think Hwa?"

"Whatever you want love," Seonghwa detached his mouth from your neck to reply to Hongjoong, before addressing you once more, voice sickly sweet as he pulled you into his lap. "What about you baby? Want to be good for me so I can show you how proud I am of you?"

"I'm always good for you Hwa, always good for…" you hesitated on the word, eyes flickering between your two lovers. "I'm always good for mommy."

Seonghwa shuddered as the word left your lips, his eyes rolling back momentarily before he glared at Hongjoong, the other man huffing a soft laugh. "What Hongjoong?"

"Nothing, nothing…it's just baby bats her eyelashes and calls you mommy and you're ready to do anything she asks of you."

"Because she's a good girl who deserves the world, don't you agree?" Seonghwa countered, licking up the side of your neck as he spoke, eyes challenging Hongjoong.

But his husband didn't back down, merely setting his champagne down and leaning forward with a smirk. "I think that you're an enabler Park Seonghwa."

"If I'm an enabler then you're even worse than me Kim Hongjoong."

"I think…" you hummed the words softly, nuzzling into Seonghwa’s neck. "That perhaps you could do this later? After I'm all fucked out?"

Hongjoong laughed, getting up from his chair and walking towards you and Seonghwa, pressing a bruising kiss to your lips. "There's my girl, why don't we show you how proud we really are?"

"That's it baby, sucking Hongjoong’s cock so well, such a good girl for mommy." Seonghwa pressed himself against your back, cooing in your ear as he watched you lap at the head of his husband's cock. Hongjoong, to his credit, looked mostly unaffected, but you knew better and the way his eyelids fluttered closed when you ran your tongue along his slit let you know that you were doing everything just right.

"Mommy's good girl," you hummed softly as you pulled off Hongjoong's cock to breathe. You kisses his tip gently, looking up at him through your lashes, "Hongjoong’s good girl too…?"

Hongjoong's dark gaze softened at the hint of a question in your words and he nodded, thumbing your cheek gently. "Yeah, always my good girl baby." You smiled softly, pressing another, sweeter kiss to the head of his dick before descending your mouth onto him once more. Hongjoong let out a groan, smiling softly at Seonghwa, who had watched the entire exchange quietly, eyes soft. He smiled back, pressing a kiss to Hongjoong’s thigh, smirking when the action made the man kick his hips up into your mouth.

"You're evil Hwa…so fucking evil."

"Nah," he grinned, shaking his head, "I'm just, what was it you said? An enabler." Hongjoong rolled his eyes playfully, before returning his attention to you, nearly gasping at how content you looked with his cock in your mouth, just so happy to give him pleasure. "Think you can make him cum like this baby?" Seonghwa whispered into your ear, locking eyes with Hongjoong as he sucked on your earlobe.

You nodded around Hongjoong’s cock, humming in affirmation. "Good," Seonghwa purred before turning his attention back on Hongjoong. "You gonna cum for our baby Hongjoong? Give our good girl your load? Watch her swallow it all and then watch her get fucked by me?" Hongjoong threw his head back at Seonghwa's words but very quickly fixed his gaze on you.

"Want to hear her say it, want to hear her beg for it." Seonghwa grinned, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

"You heard the man, beg him."

You immediately pulled off Hongjoong with an obscene pop, still stroking his length in your hand. "Please Joongie…please, please, please. Cum, want your cum. Please Hongjoong, I've been so good. Don't I deserve it? Aren't you proud of me?"

"...oh fuck," Hongjoong stilled, eyelids fluttering shut as he let himself go, hands carding through your hair as he spilled into your mouth. You swallowed it all diligently, opening your mouth to show both Seonghwa and Hongjoong, the former humming in approval.

"Good girl," he whispered, "we're so proud of you."

"I think it's time for your reward now, don't you?" Hongjoong hummed, pulling you into his lap and turning you to face Seonghwa. He pulled your panties to the side and began to run his fingers through your wet folds, collecting your slick and holding his fingers out to Seonghwa. The other man practically tripped over his feet to get to Hongjoong, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he tasted you on his husband's fingers. Hongjoong removed his fingers from Seonghwa's mouth before slipping them inside of you, grinning at the half-gasp/half-moan you rewarded him with. "What do you think princess? Should I let your mommy fuck you? Let him fill up this sweet, pretty pussy with his cock? Let him make you cum?"

"Yes…God yes Hongjoong please. I'll do anything." You whined, canting your hips into Hongjoong’s hand. He chuckled, slipping his fingers out so he could rub the head of his cock against your puffy entrance. Hongjoong raised a challenging eyebrow at Seonghwa who was watching the two of you silently, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Yeah? Anything?"

"Mhm…anything Joong anything. Just please!" You cried out as Hongjoong slipped his cock inside you, giving a few shallow thrusts before pulling out and pushing you towards Seonghwa, grinning as you stumbled into the man's arms.

"What are you waiting for then? Put on a show."

And put on a show you did, Seonghwa wasted no time pressing you into the sheets, making sure you were facing Hongjoong where he was sat in his desk chair. Seonghwa unceremoniously tore your panties from your body, whispering a heated promise to buy you a new pair, before sliding his cock against your pussy, groaning when you desperately grinded back against him.

"Is that how you ask baby?" Seonghwa tsk'd, tapping his cockhead against your entrance.

"No," you replied quickly, shaking your head. "I'm sorry Hwa…I'm sorry mommy. Please fuck me, I need you so bad." You craned your neck to look at him, eyes welling with desperate tears. Seonghwa cooed, brushing your tears away and leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"Of course baby, because you asked so nicely."

The first thrust of Seonghwa’s into your weeping pussy had you seeing stars, crying out Seonghwa’s name as he began a relentless pace of fucking you. You let your gaze move to Hongjoong and that almost made your situation worse. He was still sat in his desk chair, cock still standing proudly against his stomach and leaking copious amounts of precum onto his expensive dress pants, soiling the fabric. But he wasn't doing anything about it, simply sitting there and watching you and Seonghwa with a dark proud expression, eyes almost black with lust. You knew he was getting almost as much pleasure out of this just by watching you and you whimpered at the thought, fucking yourself back onto Seonghwa’s cock. Seonghwa draped himself across your back, almost holding you in a mating press and pressing a wet kiss to your cheek.

"Look at him baby," he whispered. "Look at the way he's watching us, watching you. He's getting off on this, on how sexy we are."

And to Seonghwa's credit, he was absolutely right. Hongjoong was getting off on watching the two of you, watching the loves of his life share their love with each other. Knowing that you were all his, that he was the only one who got to see the two of you like this, who got to have the two of you like this. That was the best part of it all.

"I think you're going to make our baby cum Hwa," he hummed thoughtfully. Seonghwa laughed, before straightening up and drilling into you even harder than before.

"Yeah? You gonna cum? Cum for mommy?"

"Mhm, mhm." You nodded desperately. "Gonna cum for mommy, can I cum for mommy?"

"Of course baby, you can cum, cum for mommy."

You cried out as your orgasm finally hit you, pressing your face into the sheets as your walls clenched desperately around Seonghwa’s cock. He groaned deep as he reached his own orgasm, pressing deep inside of you as he pumped you full of his cum. Seonghwa kissed your head gently as you both came down from your highs, moaning as he pulled his cock from your hole and watched as his cum spilled from you. "My sweet girl, did so well for me."

"Did so well for us," Hongjoong hummed, standing from his seat and making his way towards you. With the help of Seonghwa, the two of them lay you against the soft pillows of their bed, Hongjoong moving to hover over you and press a sweet kiss to your lips. "You think you've got one more in you for me, pretty girl?"

"Always Hongjoong," you hummed softly. "Please. Doesn't feel right without you too." Seonghwa smiled at the exchange, pressing a soft kiss to your head and Hongjoong’s lips.

"Treat my baby well," he whispered. "I'll get something to clean us all up with."

"I love you Seonghwa," Hongjoong hummed, smiling up at his husband.

"And I love you," Seonghwa smiled, giving you both another kiss. "You behave baby, just like I know you are."

"Of course mommy," you giggled, feeling soft and high of the endorphins from your first orgasm. Seonghwa shook his head fondly before quietly leaving the room, making you put your attention solely back onto Hongjoong.

Moments like this weren't rare with Hongjoong, but each one of them was so precious that they felt like a rare jewel. He slipped inside of you easily and began to fuck you gently, not pushing your body beyond the limit he knew you could take. He treated you like you were precious, bringing you closer to the brink of your second orgasm and himself closer to his own.

"That's it princess, you just cum for me whenever you want." He whispered softly, pressing his forehead against yours. "We're so proud of you baby, Seonghwa and I. You've worked so hard and you deserve the whole world. I'm so, so proud of you."

"I love you Hongjoong," you whispered softly, kissing his lips. "I love you and Hwa so much."

"We love you too baby," Seonghwa's voice sounded from the doorway and the presence of your other lover pushed you over the edge once more and into another orgasm, this one only more powerful than the first. Hongjoong buried his head into your neck as he came, a muffled "I love you," whispered against your skin.

He almost refused to part from you as he came down from his orgasm, but with some gentle coaxing from Seonghwa he eventually pulled far enough away from you that Seonghwa could get you all clean.

"So," Seonghwa hummed softly once the three of you had settled onto new, clean sheets. "What do you want for your graduation present?"

"You mean this wasn't it?"

"Don't be silly," Hongjoong grumbled into your neck. "What kind of sugar daddies would we be if we didn't spoil you?"

"I always thought Hwa was a sugar mommy," you giggled, squealing as Seonghwa tickled your side. "But, there is a new pair of shoes I've been eyeing recently."

"Yeah? We'll get them for you."

"If you ask nicely enough we'll buy you the whole store."

You and Seonghwa dissolved into giggles as Hongjoong’s words, him eventually joining in despite the fact he didn't really know why it was so funny. Eventually your giggles subsided and you fell into comfortable silence as the three of you began to drift off.

Even if this wasn't in your original plan, you couldn't find it in you to care, because you got this, you got them.

And that was better than any plan you could have come up with.

General Taglist:@hiseu @yeosayang @avyskai @whatudowhennooneseesyou @foxdaisy @maskedmochii

Masterlist

#ateez smut #kpop smut #kim hongjoong smut #park seonghwa smut #hard thoughts with rose #kpop hard hours

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kissforyouu · 9 months

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pairing : jungkook x reader

genre : college boy!jungkook , fwb , situationship LOL , confusing relationship

warnings : angst , fluff (a lil bit) , smut , boob play , protected sex , aftercare , situationships (trigger warning.)

inspired by August - Taylor Swift

a/n : haiii this is my first ever story on tumblr so😭😭😭 hopefully u like it LOL tysm for reading

u can read pt. 2 here

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．.・゜-: ✧ :-　　

"You're so adorable, it makes me want to throw up." I roll my eyes at his comment, feeling offended at the term he used but also feeling the flutter of butterflies forming in my stomach. "Throw up? why throw up?" I look away with the brightest smile in my face. "Throw up in a good way. I'll throw up sprinkles and glitter all over you", his nose scrunches up, his doe eyes shining big and bright. They were staring right into mine, although I was trying my best to not look at them. "Hey, look at me", his hand grips on my chin as he raises it up to make me lock my eyes with his. I can't stop smiling, neither can he. His eyes travel down from my eyes to my lips. I watch his lips smack against eachother before they landed right on top of mine. Giggling into the kiss, my fingers caress his jaw gently as our lips continue to dance on eachother. The sound of our lips smacking on eachother, our pace growing from gentle and slow to rough and passionate, and the small whines I let out in the middle of the kiss were all we could hear.

"J-jungkook...", his name leaves my mouth in a small whine. He hums into the kiss, his long fingers now tangled in my hair. His hand travels down to my shoulder, then to the strap of my top before he lazily pulls it down. Then the other strap. The kiss is still ongoing, very sloppy, I don't know how I still haven't pulled away to breath. I want to, but I don't want to let go of his lips. Jungkook's fingers pull down my tank top upto my belly, my breasts out and exposed for him. He pulls away from the kiss, both of us gasping for air. No, kiss me again. Kiss me till I run out of breath. No, don't stop even after that, keep going.

But he doesn't do that again, his eyes now fixed on my breasts. His big hands now on both of them, squeezing very tightly. I bring my lips in between my teeth, watching the way his hands engulf my tits in them entirely. "So perfect for me, baby" his thumb rubs over my nipple, pace gradually increasing. My hips thrust forward, feeling the heat grow right between my legs. His hands squeeze my breasts one more time before his spit lands right between them, his tongue then smearing it all over my chest. His eyes lock contact with mine as he licks, sucks and bites my breasts and nipples. I do nothing but grip his hair even tighter, my mouth falling open with small sinful sounds leaving my lips. "Fuck, mmh...I could come just like this", his lips work even faster after hearing my comment, head bobbing up and down on my tits. Fuck, was he going at it. His lips tug on my nipple, hand slapping my right breast repeatedly. He finally pulls away with a pop, a long string of saliva connecting my nipple and his lips. "Mm, fuck, that was good" his hand leaves a small squeeze to my waist.

"That escalated quickly" a heavy breath leaves my mouth. "Sure did, baby", his laugh echoes through my room. "Do you have anything to do right now?" His eyes scan my room, landing on the pile of books and papers scattered across my table. "I have some research to do, but it's nothing, I could do it later" I was lying, the research was due this friday and it was a whole lot to write and gather information about. But that didn't matter. Not when I was with him. It's foolish, really, I shouldn't be procrastinating my assignments because of him.

"You sure?" He raises his eyebrow as his fingers go through his hair.

"Yep" how could I say no to him.

He had me wrapped around his finger and he knew that so well. But that didn't matter. We were eachothers, right? I mean, we did almost everything together. We've been dating—talking—uh, I don't know, having sex?— for about two months now. But it's not just the sex. He checked on me, made sure I ate, bought me food, made me feel loved. We're basically dating. Although he never put a label to this.

"Alright, lay back down." His body hovers over mine, tall and broad shoulders showing off. The corner of his lips curl into a small smirk, his eyes landing on the very evident wet patch on my panties. I relax my shoulders onto the softness of my pillow, letting him take control over me. The pad of his thumb rubs over my clothed clit, slowly but too slow. I need more. I grind into his thumb, desperately. "Relax, baby. Be patient, okay?" The pace of his thumb increases before his index finger slides my panty to the side. "Fuck," his middle finger glides up and down my folds, my arousal spreading everywhere. I was so wet. I play with my breasts, watching his fingers rub my clit in the slowest most teasing manner.

"Please, want you inside... Now...!" I pull on my nipples, begging for more friction. A cocky scoff leaves Jungkook's mouth, his fingers drenched in with arousal leaving my clit. He plops them in his mouth, licking them clean. "Yeah, you want this?" His fingers grab mine, brushing them against his prominent buldge. My breath hitches at the feel of his dick, hard and ready to be out. I impatiently nod my head. I want him so bad. "Alright, since you've been such a good girl for me.", he presses a small kiss to my cheek. I watch him as he unzips his pants before taking them off, then finally his boxers. His erect cock springs out and hits against his abdomen. I'm staring. I know I am. "So fucking cute. You do that everytime I take my pants off", blush creeps upto my cheeks. "Shut up. Hurry up now, please." I was impatient and I didn't care about how desperate I sounded. Jungkook's smirk grows wider as he spreads both my legs wider, then placing a small kiss on my clit. "Want to eat you out so bad, but since you're so impatient, fine." He presses another kiss on the same spot before his fingers hook onto the waistband of my panties, pulling them down upto my ankle.

He pulls out a condom from his nightstand before rolling it on his dick. He wastes no time after, finally, I feel his dick run up and down my folds and smothering my arousal all over him. I gasp, feeling him enter my pussy. "S–shit, so tight, baby" He bites his lower lip "How many times do I gotta fuck you over for you to losen up, hm?" I wrap my fingers with his and lift my hips up, adjusting to his size. "Y-you can move now." My grip on his fingers tighten when I feel him start to thrust in and out. He starts off gentle. He was big. Very big. It always took me a moment to adjust to his size each time he was inside me. Jungkook's thrusts start to increase now, his sweaty forehead falling onto mine, his eyes glued onto mine. We couldn't stop looking at eachother.

I love you so much.

Everytime we got intimate, he would always look at me. He'd make sure he could see my face. Always. That felt so much more intimate, it felt as if this is just not sex, there's so much more to this. He loves me. He wants me. But why can't he just say it.

"Shit! Shit!" I moan out loud, the noises of our skin slapping and the smell of sex taking over the dorm room. Thank god my roommate was out. "You fill me up...s-so good! Don't stop!" I arch my back even more when his hand slaps my breasts harshly. "Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop, fuck, DON'T—" his hand reaches down to rub my clit, roughly. My jaw falls open, eyes squeezed shut. Both our moans blend in together, creating some sort of harmony. "Fuck! Pussy so good!" I moan even louder at his remarks. "Cumming, mm! Faster!" My eyes roll back to the edge of the world, mouth open and wide as his pace fastens even more. I feel my body tremble slowly under him, feeling myself release all over. His thrusts fastens, his face buried in between my breasts. "Fuck, baby, almost t-there!" A grunt leaves his mouth before his body finally relaxes into mine. His full body weight now on top of me, Jungkook's body shudders as he cums into the condom. He still somehow makes sure not to fully crush me with his big physique. I pass my fingers through his sweaty hair, pressing a series of small kisses onto the side of his forehead.

Jungkook straightens his back, then pulls out with a moan. He takes off the now used condom before throwing it in his trashcan. My eyes are still closed. I don't want to open them, I'm too tired. But I do, right after I feel his lips kiss my eyelids. "Let's get you cleaned up?" He tucks my hair behind my ears. I nod, with a small smile, as he wraps his muscular arms around me. Then my body is no longer on the bed, but on him, as he carries me to his bathroom.

Placing me on the sink, Jungkook grabs a few tissues before slowly wiping me. He knows I'm really sensitive, so he takes his time to clean me, gently and softly. Each stroke soft as a feather, I relax into his touch. "Hmmm, jungkookie..." I moan, relaxed. He finishes cleaning me, then placing me on the toilet. "You need to pee." His ruffles my hair. I watch his naked body leave the bathroom, then the door closes. I pee silently, dreaming about the man who just fucked me rough a few minutes ago. Rough, but so gentle and caring.

After I'm done, I get out of the bathroom. Jungkook was on his bed, relaxed and back in his shirt. He gets up right away once he sees me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Jungkook handles me with so so much care, dressing me up in of my hoodies then gently placing me on my bed. I could fall asleep like this.

"Goodnight, y/n" He presses one last kiss to my cheek before he pulls away. His grip on my arm loses, then he fully releases it. I want to ask him to stay. Sleep with me tonight, please. I feel his figure leave my room.

It's okay. He'll come next morning. He's not the type to stay in sleep after sex. I mean, he's never done it.

My eyes flutter open at the sound of the notification from my phone, I immediately roll over to check it. I already know whom it's from.

jungoogie💌 : goodnight babie sleep well

you : i miss u

jungoogie💌 : thought u fell asleep?

you : no im awake rn 😆

jungoogie💌 : sleep

you : no i miss u

jungoogie💌 : me too, thinkin ab u rn. but go to sleep now, i'll see you next morning yeah?

you : okayy fine :( goodnight jungkook❤️

jungoogie💌 : goodnight baby

Without even realising, my feet was high in the air and I was giggling. He's so cute. I want to die. I force myself to close my phone, then I turn around and wrap my arms around my pillow. I imagine it's him, his big and muscular arms wrapped around my body and caressing my back to sleep.

It was the next day, around 12.30pm. No text from Jungkook – yet. It's okay, he'll text me later. He's probably busy. He did mention a few errands that he has to run today.

I pull my glasses up the bridge of my nose, continuing to type on my computer. I was at a café, not the usual one I go to, though. It was really cute, pink interior all the way. Baby pink walls decorated with flower vines and cute paintings all over. Just the perfect place to relax and focus on your work. It was calming here. The food was good too! Maybe I should come here with Jungkook next time.

Wait—Jungkook?

I quickly cover my face with my computer, tucking my beanie down to cover my face more. What was he doing here? I peak slowly, catching the sight of him and some girl. What. The brunette girl giggled shyly, her hand slapping against his chest in a teasing manner. Jungkook's nose scrunches up, his hand was on her arm. Fuck, I know her. Well, I don't know her that well, but I've heard of her enough to know about the small crush she has on Jungkook. They were so giggly, and she was obviously flirting with him. I don't know whether he was going along with it, or whether he was just being nice. Please, Jungkook. Back away, do something, I don't know.

But I thought we were something?

Alright, that's enough. I pull down the hood of my jacket enough to cover my face before grabbing my computer and the rest of my stuff. That's it. I don't talk to him, I don't look at him. I make my way out of the café without making myself noticeable to him. Not that he would, either way. He seemed way too into the conversation he was having with the girl anyway.

It was about 1.00pm now. Realisation was starting to hit me. Slowly, very slowly, what the fuck was happening. I sit on my bed, blankly staring at my room. Jungkook was at a café with another girl. Jungkook was at a café with another girl. Is this the errand he talked about? Is this why he hasn't texted me yet? Cause he was so busy going on a date with another girl?

My eyes scan around the room, thinking about all the things we've done in here. All the places he's had me bent over, all the places we laid cuddling, my table he'd be under to give me head while I was trying to focus on my classes. Fuck. My eyes slowly start to fill up with tears, the grip I had on my bedsheets tightening.

It's okay, y/n, maybe this is why he never put a label to your relationship. But I swear, I SWEAR, we were much more than just...I don't know, friends? friends with benefits? Fuck, I don't know. My chin starts to quiver, the tears finally releasing themselves on my cheeks. I feel them glide down my cheeks, one by one, then dropping down to my lap.

Fuck, I couldn't help but think of the time when Jungkook was in my bed, my head was buried in his chest as he was trying his best to comfort me. He's seen me at some of my lowest, my highest, and he still chose to do this?

What did she have that I didn't?

I flinch suddenly, watching my phone screen light up with text notifications. It was Jungkook, who else.

jungoogie💌 : hi babie, u busy? [delivered at 1.07pm]

jungoogie💌 : ... [delivered at 1.15pm]

wya baby

jungoogie💌 : y/n answer me?? u never leave me on delivered for so long? [delivered at 1.45pm]

jungoogie💌 : aight, im coming over. better keep the door open.

Aw, did it hurt his little male ego that I wasn't responding. Or was it the fact that he really did care. Or maybe he didn't. Maybe he was just using me for the whole entire 3 months we've spent together. Or maybe, just MAYBE, that girl was his cousin or something. Maybe he loves me and he did that to make sure he really loved me so that when he didn't really feel anything to the girl, he'd be sure that he loves me for real.

Y/n, you sound so delusional.

After a few moments of trying to calm my breathing down, it all fails and washes away the instant I hear his knocks on my door. They were calm at first, soft and gentle. But the more I ignored them and sat on my bed instead, the louder and rushed they got. I could hear him yelling at me from outside the door to open it.

jungoogie💌 : open the door

I sighed. Getting up I walked towards my door, hesitantly I grip on the handle, twisting it. The door opened, revealing a frustrated Jungkook. His tongue was poking his cheek, eyebrows furrowed. If I hadn't seen what I saw earlier, I'd get on my knees and suck the life out of him right now.

Jungkook glances at me then pushes me aside, gently, before walking in my dormroom. I follow him after closing my door. He lets out an annoyed sigh, "What was all that about?"

I didn't answer.

"You okay, baby?" Don't call me that.

I don't answer.

His eyebrows press into a thin line. He looked so mad and worried. Fuck. "Y/n, I'm asking you something. Answer me, please? Is everything alright?" I shook my head, pressing both my lips against eachother. I was looking away, I didn't want to look at him.

Jungkook sighs. He's had enough. He gets up from my bed, he's now in front of me with both his hands on the sides of my head. He raises my head up and forces me to make contact with him. "Talk", he demanded.

How do I start.

"Jungkook", I took a breath. He listens patiently, listening to me.

"What am I to you?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Huh?" I repeat my words once again. "You're my Y/n", he says. I scoff. Placing my hands on top of his, I release myself from his grip then back away. Is he being forreal.

"Where were you today? Enjoying your time at the café?" This time, Jungkook scoffs. Both his hands in the air, he laughs a little. "Really, Y/n? Is this what all this is about? About me being out with some girl?" Oh.

"What do you mean, Jungkook? Clearly you were enjoying your time with her!" I raise my voice just a little.

"So what? I can't hangout with a girl now? Oh, come on, baby." He rolls his eyes. He doesn't care. He doesn't care. Jungkook doesn't care. "Jungkook, you just–you can't just...go be with another girl!" I don't know how to put this, I don't know how to say it.

"Pfft, Y/n, it's not like we're dating, are we?! You aren't even my girl!"

I let out a very audible gasp, my breath hitching. It took less than a second for the tears to fill up my eyes and to overflow. I don't know how to say it but, I didn't like how he had the power to just break my heart into pieces from just a few words. And that's exactly what he did. My hands started to tremble a little. I hated how much affect he had on me. How he could make me feel better with just a word, and how he could make me feel ten times worse with just a word. I hated the affect he had on me. But I loved it at the same time.

I look at him, my eyes red and tears falling down my cheeks non stop. My face was already red, I assume. That's when he realised he fucked up.

"Shit... fuck, baby, I'm sorry, I—"

"That's alright. Get out of my room, please." My voice was shaking. But it was so calm and small. Almost inaudible but I'm sure he heard it.

"Y/n, listen, I didn't mean that. Let me explain myself."

The corners of my lips roll up to form a small smile. "Out, please."

"No, baby, let me explain this to you. I didn't mean anything I said—"

"God, Jungkook, please, I need space! Get out—"

His lips crash into mine, hands tugging onto my shirt. They felt so soft on my lips. His lips moved against mine, gently but so so passionately. And that's what I hated about this moment. I didn't want to pull away. What are you doing to me, Jeon Jungkook. With all my remaining strength, I add pressure onto his chest before pushing him away from me. His back hits the wall, he looked at me — frustrated, mad, sad, guilty. I could tell he wasn't expecting me to push him away at all. He looked hurt. But that's on him. He caused this. If he just explained to me without going that far, it would've been somewhat okay.

"I'm sorry, but Jungkook, just..." I take a deep breath. I hold my hands out, signalling stop. "I want to be left alone." He opens his mouth to say something, but stops. He just nods. Jungkook takes a few steps forward, but stops mid track to look at me.

"Call me? Or-or text me? Please." He says.

I don't look at him but lightly nod my head. I feel more tears coming in when I felt his arms wrap around my figure, pulling me into his embrace. He held me tight, really tight, as if he never wanted to let go. I could tell his heart sank down at me not embracing him back. I wanted to. But I didn't. Fuck, it was so hard not to.

Okay. Fine. Fuck you.

I slowly raise my arms upto his waist, wrapping them around his waist. I take a step closer to feel him even more, my face brushing against his hard chest. I could feel his heartbeat, fast, banging in my ears. His body felt warm and secure, as always, but I don't anymore.

You know what, maybe this is stupid. Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe I'm overthinking. But FUCK, no, it's him. His fault. He caused this. Right? If he just...I don't know...IF HE JUST...made his feelings clear. Put a label on us. Please.

I was the first one to pull away. My hands were now back on my sweater, tugging onto the ends as I nervously stared at the floor.

"Out." I watch my tear fall down to the carpet. I don't look up at him.

I feel his figure slowly walk out of my dorm, the last thing I hear being the door closing with a loud thud.

And that was my breaking point.

The second he walked out, I felt my knees wobble as I fell down to the floor. I don't have the energy to get up.

For him, maybe all of this was just us fooling around. Having sex. Nothing more. But for me, it was so much more different. I didn't want less, I didn't want anything more — but sometimes, I did. I imagined us in a relationship, dating, having the privilege to call eachother boyfriend and girlfriend — but even if it wasn't like that, I would've been okay.

To live for the hope of it all, cancelling my plans just in case you'd call and say "meet me behind the class". So much for the hope of it all.

Maybe, you were never mine.

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