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the-dumpster-fire-of-life · 1 year

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Would you be willing to do a platonic jinx and silco with a autistic fem reader? Has trouble with communucation and socialization, a bit clumsy, but is otherwise very loyal and sweet to them both and one of the few people who not only can keep up with jinx intelligence wise but actually understand her. Silco and jinx one day overhear one of silco's goon straight up call her an "idiot freak" or something really horrible not knowing she's more than just that kid that hangs around jinx all the time but is pretty much family.

(hello! I however, do not write autistic readers because I do not have autism or know anyone who does and I don't want to be insensitive for anything about that so I cannot do that so sorry. But anyways, enjoy!)

Little Dysfunctional Family

Jinx

Jinx was ways happy to have you

Even if you had your quirks

She wasn't always the best with communication either

She was also accident prone, now and then when she was a certain someone

She didn't like socializing, she hated it

She didn't like being around fake ass goons who thought kissing up to her would get them on Silcos good side

It got tiring

So, having you, and knowing your love and being with her was genuine??

Made everything else matter absolutely jack shit

She treats you like a sibling, maybe if your younger, like a little kid sibling she never had

She will be very protective and loving

She doesn't want anything to happen to you

Or for anything, or anyone to take you away

She doesn't think she can handle that

So she does whatever it means to keep you happy and very loved

As long as you love her the same

It's a great deal, really

She is very happy you're able to connect with her on so many different levels

Especially when you help her when she has freak outs

You understand why she has them, and how she is the way she is

But you never judged her about it

Or really questioned it, you were just you, and you were there for her

And she will always love you for that

And that you're able to keep up with her highly energetic ways is amazing

And how you can make gadgets and go on and on for hours on end with her

She loves

She never had someone like that before, so now that she does

She doesn't wanna let it go and doesn't want anything to change

So to hear someone talk shit about you??

You??

The amazing one, her fucking sibling, like they're nothing??

Oh boy

When Jinx is mad, she is mad

There are no limits

She will do whatever the hell she pleases to them

She'll toy with them for a little tho lmao

She'll be asking

"Why do ya think that?? Wow, what else do you think?"

Acting coy, a fake pleasant and charming smile on her face while she is seething inside

Then she'll just bust out

"Well, funny you say that about, y'know, my best friend."

She'd be giggling while the goon is terrified

Everybody knows

don't fuck with Jinx

She's a firecracker is under the protection and love of the Eye of Zaun

So, safe to say

That goon is GONE

never to be seen again

Oh well, cuts your losses

Jinx will then rant to you about it and be telling you how wrong the goon is

She'll also probably tell you bits of what he said, and make it out like he tried attacking her to justify what she did

But it's okay!

Who can be mad at this amazing girl?

Silco

He is the Eye of Zaun, man

He may not show it or say it very often, but he cares deeply about you and Jinx

He's had you guys for so long, he forgot what it was like without you both

He didn't care that you didn't very function well with socializing and communicating

To him, you were perfect

Because you were you

He wasn't good with that stuff either, like Jinx

That's what makes you all an amazing little family

A family that protects one another from anything

You all were basically molded with the same skills, some lacking in some departments, but we'll enough to appreciate one another

Even if it's not said every day

You knew it, Jinx knew it, and so did Silco

So, he wants to keep you and Jinx happy

He wants you guys to be taken care of

He also appreciated that you can connect with Jinx on a level he can not

Intelligence wise and her personality in general

Not many can keep up with the blue haired wonder

So, it's very much appreciated that you keep her alive while also indulging in her activities

He will not let anyone talk shit about you

Did you see how he acted when Sevika tried to call Jinx a problem??

Well, he'd act sorta like that

If the goon kept going on about you and saying shit

He's be silently pissed as they keep running their fucking mouth

If they even get the chance

He may not kill them per se

But they will be traumatized, no doubt

If they go far enough, he'd probably send Sevika on their ass

He would not stand for it

He would also, probably call them into his office and play a physiological game

He'd threaten them no doubt

And you and Jinx are giggling up in the rafters having the time of your lives watching this absolute jackass almost piss himself

Anyway, Silco would not let any asshole try and run all over you

He taught you better than to let that happen

He also will take care of it for you

It's his way of showing fatherly love

It's not perfect, but it's the way that he knows he can show it without screwing up

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rainbowgothdisaster · 1 year

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Gimme 11, 14, 16 & 29 :3

11. anything from your childhood you’ve held on to?

theres not as much as id like bcuz i lost a bunch of stuff when i was 12 and of whats left i dont have a lot of stuff with me at this house buuuuuuuuuut!!!!

this is Lamby!!!!! ive had her (and her friends who're at the other house) since i was an itty bitty baby jewel, shes a handmedown from my cousin and i kept her in PRISTINE condition!!!!! asid from her tag which is 100% faded no words visible (shes hanging out with sampson in that bedroom art)

like 90% of the stuff i still have from before the custody change is stuffies and various toys, there's Lamby, Prince (a pink horse), Kitty (a pink cat), Unicorn (a yellow unicorn), Deery (a brown deer with antlers but ive always called her a girl so yknow babby me says trans rights), a dog i dont remember the name of, and a couple other things like a DJPON3 equestria girls doll, a recently found rarity plush, and a real tiara from an old halloween costume. i also have a ukelele from my 14th birthday that i named Mikkie and painted but never learned to play

i..... have attachment issues. and maybe a slight hoarding problem. but yeah anything i still have was either already at these houses or mum managed to give to me before abandoning the old place

14. do you think you’re dehydrated?

ACTUALLY NO FOR ONCE!!! i decided i wanted to finish my 'reminder' stickers so i got my pink and pastels leopard print thermos a friends mom gave to me and put my 'drink water' sticker on it

16. thoughts on mint chocolate chip?

idk if mints sposed to burn but mint burns me to the point i cant brush my teeth with mint tooth paste, i cant eat peppermint or chew mint gum and i cant eat mint chocolate chip

i actually cant breathe around mint either, like i legit start choking and start having an asthma attack

29. preferred pasta noodle?

i eat chef boyardee overstuffed ravioli multiple times a week so probably ravioli

i like gnocci a lot but i only had it once in france, i like lasagna A LOT veggie lasagna is fucking delish, conchiglie is used in pasta salad which is really good too, ziti is always fun when youve got cheese involved, and of course my autistic ass loves me some mac n cheese !!

basically, anything BUT spaghetti unless its chef boyardee. which is tragic bcuz my family pretty much exclusively makes spaghetti (which btw they started adding mushrooms and onions TO the sauce which. is rude). i fucking hate spaghetti bcuz it fucking dries and gets stiff and is such a bad fucking texture. its........ fine.......... if you order it in a resturant or something. its not the best but im not gunna freak over it, i just cannot handle when it dries. i have legit just spit it out immediately when it gets like that. like it icks my ARFID as soon as it gets even close to that.

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galwaygremlin · 4 years

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Autistic Headcanons Part 1- Henry from RWRB

*disclaimer bc I know the internet likes to get silly about these things: I am autistic and these are gonna come from my experience, but every autistic person’s life is different. We all have different traits and existences. Please respect that no matter what. I’m doing these because I’d like to see more people like me represented in media, and because in the cases of some characters, it just makes sense to me. These are obviously not canon. If anyone wants or needs to talk more about autism, fandom, or anything in general, my asks and DMs are always open.

Henry

my boy

my dude

heartthrob of England and the entire RWRB fandom

this guy cannot Social Skills

asking Shaan to get Alex away from him in Rio? Relatable. he doesn’t have the capacity to deal with Alex but he also doesn’t know how to get away from him, so he gets someone he trusts to handle it instead. The avoidance is strong with this one

the whole princely facade that Alex hates so much in the beginning? MASKING. it’s such a common autistic experience to be told/forced to cover up or lie about who we are, even though it goes against our very nature, for the sake of family appearances.

him completely not realizing why Alex is such a jerk to him. do I even have to explain this one? the number of times someone’s been a total ass to me and I have no idea what’s going on or why they’re mad at me, is astronomical. Henry doesn’t get why what he said was so offensive (and personally? me neither XD if it were me I’d think I was being polite)

He uses writing as an escape/coping mechanism. this one isn’t specific to autism but a lot of neurodivergent and/or mentally ill people use the creative process to help them process and filter the world. I do, and it helps a lot.

This man has definitely had British imperial history as a Special Interest. I have had a lot of morbid SpIns and I think that goes double for someone who is so dedicated to changing the British legacy and making the world a better place.

Pez being his only real friend. I know it’s bc he’s a Prince And Whatever, but having one person you latch onto who knows you and is good at handling all your Stuff (and forgetting to make other friends) is such a mood. Pez “naturally absorbs what Henry deflects” in terms of spotlight. my friends will draw attention away from me if they can tell I’m uncomfortable

Henry is meticulously organized. Gotta say I am NOT, but I know this is pretty common for other ASD friendos.

His speech patterns. He tends toward formality, but will accept slang/meme culture if it’s taught to him (see Nora: Bitch, you took me there)

“I know you like to have things written down”- Alex to Henry in the email after Henry’s come out (to disastrous results). I am very insecure in terms of the opinions of people I care about. I need reassurance. A lot. I can totally see Henry being like that.

This man ghosts Alex for months after the NYE kiss and up and DIPS after the lake house. Autistic I-can’t-figure-out-my-feelings anyone? also hello avoidance my old friend. this is literally the only way I handle my emotions.

the once upon a time email- I wanna put this one down as maladaptive daydreaming but also he’s clearly used literature as an escape for a long time and this can be an extension of the coping mechanism. often when I can’t figure out a situation, I write it in my head as a story so I can take myself out of it, and then have the “characters” solve the problem. I don’t understand it when there’s actual people involved, but as soon as they’re parts of a story, I can figure out what’s going on.

Henry awkward

There’s gonna be a part two to this where I go into actual headcanons; this was just a “canon justification for my projecting” I guess XD

#rwrb #meta #headcanons #autistic henry #henry fox mountchristen windsor #actuallyautistic

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waltongoggins · 4 years

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i finished season 2 of tuatv and im confident in saying it did not change my overall opinion of this show (: the sad part is even things i liked about it are constantly undercut by everything i hate and the things i hate typically overshadow the things i love. spoilers -

where do i start? with allison because it’s on my mind. i almost thought for a moment i would be wrong about her naturally healing vocal chords and that maybe there would be a point to it all but of course, there wasn’t. her voice really does just come back on its own!!! and her dilemma throughout the season (at least early parts) of whether or not she should use her powers/the moral or ethical impacts of it are literally just. the same as s1. you’re telling me she gets her throat cut, almost dies, has her literal voice taken away by a white woman, just to immediately forgive her and have the whole entire thing swept under the run with literally ZERO LASTING IMPACT WHATSOEVER???????????? THEN WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF CUTTING HER GODDAMN THROAT IF YOU WEREN’T GOING TO INCLUDE HER IN THE ASSASSINATION PLOT OR EVEN DO THE BARE MINIMUM WITH IT? EVEN HAVE HER FUCKING /REFLECT/ ON WHAT HAPPENED TO HER????????? this is a big big big big big huge problem i have with this show.

and what about vanya lmao. what was that shit with harlan. the way they just project whatever the hell they want onto her powers doesn’t make a lick of sense i’m sorry. so she can suck the life from people and she can apparently breathe life into people and also transfer her powers and also take those powers away? am i just delusional or isn’t that what happened? is there something more to harlan was it supposed to be implied that he is also one of the “extraordinary babies” and if so how the fuck does that work? i can’t tell if this is purposefully ambiguous or if its just really shitty writing because it seems par for the course ESPECIALLY in the ways they handle vanya’s seemingly magical and ever changing fucking abilities.

the “climax” of the finale with harlan didn’t make any sense to me and it really felt like they were just trying to suck up screen time it was resolved so quickly and easily and felt literally pointless. but more so than that, they really introduced this autistic child as a prop (at best) and some kind of vessel for another character (at worst)?

OH. AND THE BIGGEST FUCKING JOKE IS THAT THEY TEASED CARMICHAEL IN THE TRAILER ONLY FOR THE HANDLER TO MAGICALLY SURVIVE A BULLET TO THE HEAD???? SO THE /ONE/ REDEEMING FACTOR OF S2 WAS A LIE AND THEN LIKE SALT IN THE WOUND THEY GIVE ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC SCENES TO HER STUPID ASS INSTEAD OF FIVE??? this was almost it for me, this was almost when i just rage quit the whole season. i hate the handler, she is indicative of one of my biggest tuatv issues which is quirky aesthetics used in place of actual originality and that ~weirdness they try to market themselves with. but worse than that the antisemitic stereotyping is so ugly and ruins the entire concept of the commission for me.

also i know i made a small post about this earlier but the fact that they had to explain allison and luther’s incest to vanya in a ~cute or ~funny scene and then defaulted to the “oh we aren’t BIOLOGICALLY RELATED SO ITS OKAY” argument is disgusting to me.

then this thing with diego’s power which is apparently just some kind of blatant telekinesis he pulls out of his ass which i guess???? its the only way to explain how he can curve what he throws but its so stupid and i’m never not going to be mad about the way they chop up the characters and rewrite whatever they want to such an exhaustive degree. i hate it. i hate it so much.

there WERE some things i enjoyed--a lot of the sibling interaction was nice, some of the stuff with diego. i think the only time i felt genuine joy was watching luther and the fives together. the tiny five second part at the end where vanya and diego lean on each other, both grappling with losing their loved ones in one way or another, made me pretty emo ngl, but it won’t make up for the way they erased that dynamic. anyway.

the fact that the show gets to introduce sparrow academy and steve gets to tell more of the story before the actual source material upsets me to such a degree i cannot explain. it almost feels like they’re going to skip over hotel oblivion entirely. i don’t even care anymore, i have to accept the fact that this show drains and exhausts me more than it gives me any kind of joy, and that i may not be tuning in for another season though considering how deeply it looks like they’ve diverted now it might be easier to accept as it’s own entity (but probably not). i hate thinking about what all in this season might have been pulled from future comics. i hate knowing that those storylines will be ripped apart and spoiled before they get a chance to flourish on their own.

simply put, it does not spark joy.

#the umbrella academy #tua spoilers

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thelastspeecher · 5 years

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Hi! So like five months ago I sent you an ask about applying to grad school and you gave me a super amazing answer. And I'm back now because holy shit I got into grad school (CalArts for Creative Writing) and in the last one you said there was a whole 'nothing list of tips if you actually get into grad school? And I got in and I'm curious what the tips are? If there's anything you've learned in the last few months that changed your perspective on grad school? Thank you so much!

First off, congrats! That’s a big accomplishment! Grad schools in general are competitive, and big names like CalArts even more so.

So, you want my advice, eh? Okay. Let’s do this.

First step is getting organized. You start in the fall (I’m assuming), so you have plenty of time. Find out where important locations are on campus, familiarize yourself with the area you’ll be spending most of your time in (I’d focus on figuring out where the closest bathrooms and places to get food are, personally), and invest in a planner. Keep that planner handy. Use it. It’s easier to stay organized if you start the semester that way than it is to try to organize yourself halfway through the semester. Make a monthly budget. Decide “I will spend X amount on groceries every time I go shopping”. Keep track of the money in your bank account (a lot of banks have mobile apps that make this very easy). Put some of your paycheck into a savings account every time. You never know when you might need a nest egg. Stay up to date on your medical needs (prescriptions, flu shots [for the love of god, get a flu shot], dentist appointments, yearly physicals). You can definitely find resources at your school to help you with some of these tasks. There is no doubt in my mind that you will be able to find a workshop on keeping a budget or other adult skills. Attend workshops for new grad students.

Second, look into different support systems for students. That means student-led organizations, departments that exist to keep the university complying with federal non-discrimination laws, and general resources. Get a support system set up right away, particularly if you are going to be far from family.

Student-led organizations will be able to help you adjust and provide you a sense of community (particularly if you belong to a minority community). Other grad students will be able to offer advice faculty or staff might not be able to. Don’t isolate yourself! That’s what I’ve been doing and it sucks! The only reason I haven’t driven myself completely insane is because I have a roommate who happens to be my best friend. If I could start over, I wouldn’t do what I did and avoid everyone because I was intimidated. I would stroll into rooms with purpose and confidence that I am the baddest b*tch there. Confidence gets you far in life, particularly in grad school.

“Departments that exist to keep the university complying with federal non-discrimination laws” is a very wordy way of saying the Title IX office, disability services, offices for students of color (schools typically have different offices for different racial minorities; find out which one is best suited for you), the LGBT resource center, and the like. If you are part of a demographic minority, find out where you can locate help immediately. If something goes wrong related to your status as a minority, you need to nip it in the bud RIGHT AWAY.

General resources are things like mental health services, university health services, survivor services, etc etc. If you have any history of mental health issues or have been in therapy at any point in your life, I recommend jumping into counseling immediately, even if you feel like you don’t need it. Just talking to a neutral party will help you more than you think. Most schools offer free counseling for students, too. If they don’t, then that’s really fucking weird, but they should be able to help you figure out a method for you to adjust smoothly without it being too much of a drain on your wallet.

Third, learn from my mistakes. Good lord, learn from my mistakes. I had a disastrous first semester at grad school. I was overwhelmed, completely out of my depth, and the one thing I thought I was doing right I discovered I was actually completely fucking up. I entered my second semester on academic probation and probation as a TA. How do you learn from my mistakes? A few ways.

The first time you TA (most grad students TA at some point), insist on someone observing you. The department should automatically observe all TAs, particularly new ones, but it’s possible to slip through the cracks. That happened to me. The head TA was too busy to observe TAs my first semester, and I didn’t find out that I was a shitty TA until I was in a meeting with department and university head honchos, who were effectively accusing me of hating my students and hating being a TA and sucking in general. That’s paraphrasing, and definitely not completely accurate, but that’s how the meeting felt to me. I got by only because I explained to them “I am autistic, I struggle with new social situations”. The extenuating circumstances in my situation allowed me to try to TA again, but this time with some accommodations and outside assistance.

Related: If you are disabled, disclose it to the department. Disclose it to the higher-ups and the professor who will act as your advisor. You don’t need to disclose it to anyone else, but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to tell the people you will be working for. Even if you have amazing coping skills, disclose it. I’m damn good at pretending to be abled. But my disabilities still bit me in the ass. New situations and stress have a tendency of exacerbating symptoms. You can’t expect everything to go smoothly. And you can’t expect the department to hold your hand or even recognize what’s going on with you. I’m the first diagnosed autistic grad student my department has ever had. They had no clue how to handle that. You’ll be going into a field that tends to be a bit more liberal than STEM (like my area of study), so you might not run into the issue of “uh we don’t know how to help you, please talk to some people at the office of equity”, but it’s best to find out sooner rather than later.

Related: If you are disabled, get your ass down to the disability services office and get accommodations. Immediately. Start the process over the summer. Larger schools might have a more complicated process to get accommodations than smaller schools, so you need to get the ball rolling right away. Even if you haven’t felt like you needed accommodations recently, get the ones you had in the past. Don’t assume you’ll be fine without extra help.

Don’t take too many classes your first semester. And make sure the ones you do take aren’t all super difficult. I fucked up my first semester, bc I took three upper-level classes, two of them in chemistry. Yeah, three doesn’t sound like much. But when you’re juggling adjusting to grad school, starting up your thesis, and being a TA, three classes is a huge fucking amount of work. I’d recommend two classes, maybe one of them difficult, the other one sort of medium difficulty. Of course, you have to talk to your advisor for what works best for you, but I highly HIGHLY recommend starting off with a light class load your first semester.

When things start going south, bc they probably will at some point, don’t just keep your head down and try to force yourself through it. Talk to the family members you are closest to (I’m very close with my parents, so I talk to them when I’m having issues, but it could be a sibling or an aunt or uncle or cousin). Talk to friends. Talk to a counselor (PLEASE get a counselor your first semester). Talk to your advisor. Talk to the other grad students in your department. You should be able to find at least one shoulder to cry on, if not a whole bunch.

I said this before, but don’t isolate yourself. Please don’t. It’s easy to avoid people when you’re stressed. Don’t do that. Reach out to other grad students in your department. Make friends. Go with them to coffee shops. I wouldn’t recommend starting out by going to bars, bc that can be a slippery slope, and you shouldn’t have friends who only have fun while they’re drinking (that’s not a healthy behavior). My grad school has a really nasty drinking culture that contributed to my avoidance of other grad students, but hopefully yours doesn’t. And even if it does, you should be able to find someone who won’t want to always go to the bar.

Fourth, be confident. I said that before, but like the “don’t isolate” thing, it’s important. I’ve always been a confident person. I took a huge blow to my confidence when I started grad school, bc I felt like I was surrounded by people with more experience (which is an objective fact, but doesn’t always have to be a bad thing) and more knowledge and more accomplishments and who had their lives together. I was intimidated, for one of the first times in my life! I’ve always been a top-tier person, cream of the crop, A+ honors student, go-getter, award-winner. But in grad school, literally everyone else is that, too. And that’s not a bad thing! Sure, some people might be braggy, but other people will be more humble. Having all this experience in one location is good, bc it means you have more help. You have people you can talk to who have connections, who have run into problems you might run into, who can offer a unique perspective on things. That is SO GOOD. And if you’re still intimidated, think of it like this: You got there, too. You’re just as good as the other grad students, otherwise you wouldn’t be there. You have just as much potential, even if you don’t have as much life experience. You have something unique to offer to the school. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have been accepted. And it’s not like everyone else actually has it together. Some people might, but most of the other students will be as lost and nervous as you (esp other first year students).

Fifth, toot your own horn. It’s related to being confident, but not quite the same. Talk about your accomplishments. Tell people what you’ve done. Try not to come off too braggy, but don’t hide your light under a bushel. You have to promote yourself if you want to get anywhere. You’ve already succeeded at it once, since you got into grad school. Keep it up! Oh, and don’t be afraid to toot your own horn when someone else is making you feel intimidated. I was at a thing where one guy kept going on and on about how he’d been to this country, and that country, and tried this wine and that food and yadda yadda yadda. I got sick of it, so I cocked my head and stopped him in his tracks by asking him if he’d ever been to Kosovo. He hadn’t. He’d been to a million places, but there was one that I had him beaten on. That was a huge confidence booster. You have your unique experiences. Share them. And don’t be afraid to use them to stop a braggart from controlling a conversation.

Sixth, stay healthy. Mentally and physically. Walk most places (that’s how I get my exercise), bike, do yoga, jog, whatever. Get some exercise. Eat well. Make your own meals, keep track of whether you’ve had a vegetable today. See a counselor, vent to friends, write in a journal. Most schools offer wellness workshops where students can learn how to keep themselves healthy. Look into that, particularly if you struggle to eat well or keep stress down.

Seventh, take a short break if you need to. Grad school culture is intense. People work way too long for way too little recognition. Stress kills. Burn out can make you question your path. Say no to a third side project your advisor wants you to do. Take a day off, or an afternoon. Take a long weekend. Make sure that things won’t fall apart while you’re gone (in my case, I would get lab work done the day before), let your advisor know you won’t be coming in today for health reasons (you can keep it vague), and then spend your day doing anything but work on your thesis. Don’t give in to stress and burn out. It will wreck you.

Eighth, enjoy yourself! Grad school can be hell, but it can also be fun! You’re here to learn and gain experience and, hopefully, not hate every second of it. My own grad school experience has been roughly 92% hell and 8% fun, but I wasn’t prepared when I came. I did the opposite of hit the ground running. I tripped and skinned my knees and my face and I’m still trying to catch up with everyone else. Being prepared, reaching out to people who can help you adjust, those things will ensure your grad school experience goes more smoothly than mine. Just don’t expect everything to go perfectly right off the bat. It’ll take some time before you feel like you truly can enjoy yourself.

…That ended on a weird note, but I hope it was helpful.

You’ve got this! Best of luck!

#whew that turned out long but I knew it was going to be long #again I hope this was helpful #grad school #rant #ask #beatrice-babe

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turbomun · 7 years

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Ghost Boy revamp -- all alterations & changes

I’ve had a few commenters mention that they’re wondering what, specifically, changed between the current and former versions of Ghost Boy; they could tell that it was different but weren’t sure how. Well, wonder no more, because I’m about to tell you exactly what I did and why!

CHARACTERIZATION

Turbo His personality is more or less the same as it was in the original, but I pushed one element a little further. It’s no secret that I relate to Turbo the most out of all the WIR characters, so back in 2012, I applied a lot of my own experiences towards my portrayal of him (“hmm, I engage in attention-seeking behaviors for X reason, maybe Turbo also engages in attention-seeking behaviors for X reason”). However, in 2012, I had not yet been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, which I later discovered was actually a huge part of my personality. IMO, you could definitely make a case for Turbo being autistic-coded in the original Ghost Boy, but I definitely made it more overt in the new version. This has the additional benefit of making it clear that, pre-RoadBlasters, he was mainly teased for his behavior and not his appearance. (In the original, it was supposed to be more like he thought he was being made fun of for the way he looked, and only later figured out that it was more because of the way he acted, but I’m not sure how clear that was.)

Vanellope She was definitely always the biggest characterization casualty in the first version of the fic -- way too cutesy, cried too much, didn’t stand up for herself nearly often enough. I’m going to partially excuse this by mentioning that 1) Ghost Boy was originally based on a roleplay and roleplays tend to have a lot of wangst in them because it’s more fun that way, and 2) the movie had literally just come out in theatres and I hadn’t watched it 999999999 times to get a better handle on how all of the characters acted. But make no mistake, the way I wrote her has been bothering me for ages. In the end, this wasn’t a difficult fix; all I had to do was add her to some scenes where she was absent before, replace most of the being afraid and/or crying scenes with more courageous behavior, and make it unambiguously her decision to reset Turbo. Having a better grasp on her dialogue and mannerisms also helped.

King Candy Mostly I felt that he was a bit too “generic evil” in his appearances. Obviously I wanted him to be threatening, but in the original Ghost Boy, he didn’t have a lot of the traits that made King Candy such an eerie and charming villain in the first place. I have to give a big shout-out to my former RP partner @thekingofkarts for giving me a model of how to write him better, ESPECIALLY his dialogue. Also, I emphasized his canonical tendency to try manipulation tactics before resorting to violence; yes, he’s a little more maniacal than his film counterpart due to being malware, but he at least makes an attempt to achieve his goals with the minimum amount of physical force, mostly in chapter 12 when he tries smooth-talking Turbo to get him out of the way.

Other characters I swapped out or edited certain lines of dialogue to make sure that everyone sounded like themselves. There are various other minor edits that come from seeing the movie about 200 times and being much more familiar with each character’s personality.

STORY

Removal of confusing, unnecessary details As mentioned previously, Ghost Boy started out as a roleplay, which went on for a good chunk of time before we got to the part about Turbo. Some of those previous events played into resurrecting him, and when I wrote the fic, I couldn’t think of a good way to extract him from those events (which were also going to be detailed in my unfinished first WIR fanfic, If It Ain’t Broke). So I kept them in at the time, only to realize years later what I could have done instead. The main thing I got rid of was Fix-It Felix Jr. being unplugged, because literally everyone who read the fic rightfully hated that part, and the confusing-ass Elvira subplot. And yes, that means that King Candy can no longer fire energy spheres out of his hands. What a loss.

Wangst cleanup If you go on the tvtropes page for Ghost Boy, the YMMV section mentions how the amount of crying scenes in the story can be a little exhausting. I didn’t write that entry, but I completely agree with it. On one hand, there’s a lot of emotional moments by virtue of what the story actually is, but on the other, it makes the story drag and your sympathy for the characters wears thin after a while. Hell, this even turned at least one person off the fic completely, as mentioned in a tvtropes review that was removed a while ago. So I did my best to emphasize that the characters are feeling strong emotions, but also expressing this in ways besides crying (Vanellope getting angry with Turbo when he accuses her of lying, Turbo essentially going into shock after the Rainbow Bridge confrontation, Turbo screaming at Ralph after hearing the whole story, etc.). A lot of this also comes from Vanellope being less of a Helpless Child(TM).

Scene swaps/removals

These mostly came about when, over the years, I suddenly realized that there was a more effective and/or interesting way to get across a certain point than what I’d actually written in the original fic. Writing the revised version, I finally had a chance to use these ideas:

Most prominently, the prologue (originally a flash-forward to Turbo learning the truth via watching a race video, because I just couldn’t wait to write that scene) is now completely different and much shorter.

Similarly, Turbo’s first nightmare is not a straight-up written version of the Turbo Reveal scene from the film, and instead consists of King Candy harassing Turbo from a mirror -- based on a pre-movie oneshot I wrote in which the exact opposite thing happened.

I also repurposed an old oneshot that nobody remembers in the scene where Vanellope takes Turbo to Diet Cola Mountain; that scene started out as a pretty pointless close call with some Sugar Rush racers, but I decided that it would be a good opportunity to set up some foreshadowing without everything being in a dream.

Ironically, the Turbo reveal scene, which appeared a grand total of three times in the original Ghost Boy (it’s almost like that’s my favorite scene or something) only appears once, as a dream sequence in chapter 10, replacing the wangstier one where Turbo dreams of flying into boiling diet cola.

The scene in the viewing room where Turbo watches the reveal scene was scrapped in favor of an argument with Vanellope (as part of the Give Vanny More Agency 2k17 initiative).

Almost all of chapter 13 was rewritten for characterization and wangst-purging purposes.

There are other, minor edits that don’t exactly replace entire scenes, but change the flow of the story overall, such as: the “I’m a monster” motif being taken out because it’s a cliche (Frozen was what really killed this for me); Vanellope standing up to King Candy in chapter 15; the family discussion in that same chapter taking place in the forest; and Vanellope and Turbo activating the beacon themselves in chapter 17, rather than asking the adults to do it.

OTHER ALTERATIONS

Writing style Somehow, my years of writing practice have resulted in my developing a very wordy prose style. (I think I just like to show off my vocabulary. I honestly cannot emphasize enough how similar I am to Turbo.) I didn’t completely fix this in the new Ghost Boy because 1) it’s not necessarily always a bad thing, 2) it would have required a full rewrite, and 3) this is something that I’ve only just now started to address in my most recent works. However, I did take the liberty of going back and rephrasing awkwardly worded sections, giving you that smooth and silky reading experience that you so obviously crave.

Edits for canonical accuracy This was just addressing minor errors, such as mistakes in the way I described Sugar Rush’s architecture, as well as straightening out the timeline of what got plugged in and when. For the curious:

Turbo Time -- plugged in 1981, unplugged 1987 (based on Rally-X, its obvious design inspiration)

Fix-It Felix Jr. -- plugged in 1982 (based on the movie)

Tapper -- plugged in 1984 (based on the original Tapper rather than the Root Beer Tapper clone, because if you look at the design, the one in WIR is pretty clearly the alcoholic version no matter how much Disney tries to convince you otherwise)

RoadBlasters -- plugged in 1987, unplugged shortly afterwards (based on its actual release date)

Sugar Rush -- plugged in 1997 (based on the bonus commercial created to promote the movie)

The events of WIR take place in November 2012 (1982 + 30 years). Ghost Boy takes place slightly over a year later, in November/December of 2013; Turbo’s reset day is November 20, and the fic ends around December 14-15. (I didn’t even realize it took place right around Christmas until I sat down and hashed this out.)

I think that’s pretty much everything. On the off chance that you have any questions, you can of course feel free to ask. Anyway, I had a blast with the new Ghost Boy and I’m quite happy with how it turned out!

#ghost boy #wir #turbo

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pojkflata · 7 years

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My emo ass backstory

This was originally the script to a draw my life video, but I realized that it was becoming so ridiculously long that it could only work in text form

Nevertheless, I wanted to get this out of my system. I don’t think I’ve ever truly told anyone about my past in more detail than “I was bullied”, and just getting in depth about it for the first time in my life felt. Good.

CW for bullying, abuse and animal death

I was born in 1998, in a city called Helsingborg in southern Sweden, actually only a few miles away from Denmark by boat. My father worked as a cashier at the time, and my mother was unemployed. She used to breed dogs, but had to give it up when my big brother, Jakob, was born in 1997 in order to be able to raise him, and later me and my siblings. We still had some dogs around though, including one named Bandit who I adored.

During my early years, my family was struggling financially, because the only one out of my parents who had a job (my dad) had a pretty poorly paying one, and not only did my parents have me, my big brother and dogs to care about, I also had a little brother, Filip, and a little sister, Klowbi. We very rarely got things like toys or games, since my parents couldn’t afford them, so Jakob and I early showed interest in the internet as a nice way to spend our free time. The internet was a much more empty place back then, but we still found a lot of fun things to do, moreso than with the few toys we had.

When I was maybe five years old, my parents got more well paid jobs, my mother as a politician and my father in the advertisement industry, and my family’s economical situation became a lot better.

I began 1st grade in 2005, and oh jeez… I was bullied for nine entire years, and most of it stems from the fact that I was an undiagnosed autistic. Worth noting is that I was dfab, and presented as a ”girl” at that time, but it’s not like nobody noticed my symptoms just because of that. A lot of people noticed actually, but my mom did not believe them when people expressed concern.

I changed schools a lot, but I always ended up bullied, and my teachers would never support me, instead saying it was my fault for various reasons. A lot of the bullying was about harrassing me to the point that I would get meltdowns, because my classmates thought that was hilarious. I was a circus animal, in every sense of the word. Other fun stuff that happened to me in school was being asked out as a joke, being assaulted in gym class and being threatened with assault and bloody murder.

One particular story I remember takes place when I was in 7th grade. One of the popular girls asked me if I were a lesbian, and me, not knowing when to keep my mouth shut, said that I was not sure of my sexuality, and that there was a possibility I was not het. It quickly became the hottest meme that ever hit the school, and I was very heavily sexually harrassed over my statement. After four days of no peace, I decided I’ve had enough and attacked the girl. I ended up cracking her phone’s screen, and she promptly threw a fit and started playing the victim. Of course, she played the entire school, teachers included, like a piano, and I was demonized yet again.

At the time, I trusted my mother a lot, so you might wonder how she reacted to the whole thing… not ideally. She completely ignored that I was being subjected to homophobic harrassment, and instead just talked to her friends about how brave I was for being too autistic to know how to avoid giving my abusers ammunition. And yes, she chewed me out for cracking that phone screen. That was when I first realized my mother might not be as fantastic as everyone in my life had told me, and it would only get worse from that point on.

So how did I cope with being so heavily bullied? Not very well, mind you, but I still somehow survived. And I, knowing how pathetic this sounds, owe my life to the internet and my pets. I had a lot of wonderful animal friends. Those I loved the most include a Cocker Spaniel named Tim, a really fat mackerel tabby cat named Pikachu, a white cat with yellow/blue heterochromia named Kitty, and a gray tux cat named Pyret, who is still alive, actually! There was a time where Kitty was my absolute best friend. Kitty was a really antisocial and hissy cat, so it was all the more heartwarming that when no one really cared for me, at least I had a friend in a grouchy hissy cat who hated everyone else but me.

Unfortunately, that meant that Kitty despised other cats too, which became a problem when my family was forced to take in a new kitten back in 2012, the aforementioned Pyret. Kitty attacked Pyret whenever given the chance, and Pyret’s presence put Kitty in such a bad mood that she ended up attacking my at the time 9 year old sister. That was the point where my parents realized that the situation was going out of hand, so we took Kitty to the vet, and she was diagnosed with gastric cancer. The vet speculated that Kitty became unusually aggressive because she couldn’t handle her pain. There was nothing the vets could do, so Kitty had to be put to sleep.

Tim the Cocker Spaniel also suffered a similar fate: I was his very best friend, but one day, he got a disorder that affected the nerves in his eye area. That meant that slowly, his eyesight became much worse, and eventually, he recognized everyone as a threat, and reacted accordingly: aggressively. I was the only one who he could still recognize as a friend. Because of this, as well as the fact that he was clearly suffering, he had to be put to sleep as well.

Both of their deaths caused me great grief, but I’m still glad that I got to know these wonderful pets who helped me during the worst time of my life.

When it comes to coping using the internet, some of my fondest memories come from the website KPWebben, a website for a Swedish magazine directed at kids in the ages 8-15. From 2007 to 2012, the website had a community with a forum. I created a name around myself on said forum. I was spunky, snappy and not afraid to call the BS when I saw it. I was frequently questoning the authority in the moderators at the site, and I loved to make people think and question the reality around them. In many ways, on KPWebben I was allowed to be myself without facing consequences (from peers, mind you: the moderators loathed me). To some extent, I may have taken it too far, because I would often end up doing questionable things and create discourse around myself. I didn’t mind that much, though: I would much rather be known as the really cool and well spoken person that was a little too confident at times than as the human waste of space most people in meatspace saw me as.

This attitude actually gave me a lot of friends, including the person who is now my best friend and favorite person. I may have mellowed down a bit since my KPWebben days, but I still adore her.

Eventually, I graduated 9th grade and began secondary school, and somehow, I was bullied no more. But gradually, another problem surfaced in my life. My mother. Long story short, she was abusive to me. She isolated me from my friends, insulted me, and she expected me to have all the responsibility of an adult but none of the benefits. She was neglectful, as mentioned before, she wouldn’t listen to people who suspected I was autistic, and she never really cared about how I was suffering from being bullied. At times, she would even blame me for being bullied, much like my teachers would do. During this time, I realized that I was non-binary, and I had come out to my family, but my mother aggressively refused (and still refuses) to use my preferred pronouns, saying that ”it’s so hard :(” whenever I corrected her, and would scold me for correcting other people about my pronouns, because apparently me wanting to be referred to using my correct pronouns was embarrassing and annoying.

My mother also showed heavy favoritism towards Jakob and constantly compared me to him. Now, it is true that there’s only a 15 month age gap between him and I, so we are twins in everything but name. But Jakob is not me. Jakob is neurotypical and has not suffered the trauma I have. Jakob is an aspiring musician and while he hasn’t technically made a hit, he is talented and he probably will make it big. Being constantly compared to a person like that really hurts, especially when the people making these comparisions know you can’t become anywhere as good, and that they are just making these comparisions to make you feel bad about yourself.

While the bullying from my classmates was technically worse, what made my relationship with my mother so bad was the sense of betrayal. When I was younger, I thought that my mom was a real life super hero. She worked in politics and all of her motivations stemmed from her wish to make children’s lives better. She had made an extremely good name around herself, and she is a really likable person on the surface. So I didn’t know what I did wrong when she suddenly turned on me and all her talk about wanting to improve children’s lives went out the window. And her good reputation acted as a safety net as well, because no one believed me when I told them about what was going on beneath her facade.

My father was just not there. He was physically there, but he lacked a spine. He constantly enabled my mother’s disgusting actions, and always told me that she cared and that she doesn’t know how to raise me. Because a person with the kind of positive reputation my mother has cannot possibly raise an autistic child, right?

A lot of things happened to me in 2015. I was run over by a bus, for starters. I was on my way home from school, on my bike, when a bus appeared and ran over my left foot. The bus driver was breaking several traffic related laws, but they never faced any consequences despite me pressing the police to do so. The accident led to some minor fractures in the bones in my foot, but I was really lucky in that accident. It could have been so much worse. I’m still here, and able to walk, and that’s nothing short of a miracle.

I was also finally diagnosed with autism later that year, and I was enrolled on a boarding school for autistic people. This was a massive turning point in my life, because it let me move out at the age of 17 and escape the clutches of my mother. It’s far away enough from Helsingborg that my family can’t just visit me randomly, and I have my very own apartment. I still visit my family every other weekend and on breaks and such. I do miss my cat a lot while I’m here, but it’s a small price to pay for the peace and quiet and a place where no one really abuses me anymore.

There are however two downsides to this: I had be held back a year because my autism was making my studies suffer in 10th grade, before I moved to the boarding school, and I effectively won’t graduate until 2019. And Klowbi, my little sister, seems to be affected negatively by this change. We were pretty close to begin with, and me moving so far away when she was only 12 meant that she lost an otherwise ever-present friend. On top of that, she appears to be neurodivergent, but as I’m writing this, she has no access to therapy. And if that wasn’t bad enough, my mother appears to have moved on to abusing Klowbi instead of me. I don’t know too many details, since I don’t spend a lot of time with my family (and my mother seems to act as nice as she can in that slimy abusive way whenever I’m visiting). I try my very best to help my sister, because in my age, I did not have anyone who cared about me or my situation (that wasn’t an animal that couldn’t do a lot to help me), and I don’t want Klowbi to experience what I did.

#triple d.txt

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tgautism · 7 years

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Introduction Q&A

I found some excellent Autism-related questions on @neurowonderful‘s blog that might help people understand me a little better.

1. When did you discover that you are Autistic? I was almost 16 when I found out.

2. What are your favorite stim toy(s)? If I'm wearing a fluffy sweater, I will use that to stim. If I'm not wearing a sweater, I have a shawl that feels just like a sweater that my aunt knitted for me. I also have a bunch of crochet blankets that feel like sweater. I call them sweater blankets. Anything that feels sweatery is an awesome stim toy for me!

3. What are your favorite stims? I love rubbing my hand against my sweater/shawl/sweater blankets, rubbing them against my face, or cuddling with them. I also repeat the word “sweater” in a funny voice, or I squeal softly.

4. How do you calm down after a meltdown? My meltdowns usually involve sobbing, or if I'm having a meltdown triggered by anxiety, heavy breathing, stammering, or freezing up. Sometimes, I vacate to a room where I can be alone if I can, or if someone comforts me, that calms me down, too.

5. What method(s) of communication do you prefer? I prefer speaking with my voice.

6. What are your special interest(s)? Music and writing, but especially music!

7. What kind of sensory inputs do you find very unpleasant? Okay, this is going to be a long answer, because there are a lot of negative sensory imputs for me. You've been warned. Clothing-wise, I can't stand wearing pants or jeans. They feel very confining and unbearably uncomfortable. Shorts are okay, but they have to be lose and elasticated. I also hate wearing buttons and zippers, hate it with a passion! Zippers are uncomfortable. I don't like the feel of them against my body. Even more, I hate buttons! I hate touching them, feeling them against my body, looking at them, and I even hate the word itself. For me, they feel gross! Other negative sensory imputs include loose change, small metal objects, and doorknobs that make my hands stink. I hate metallic smells, and I cannot stand jingling sounds, like loose change, keys, and heavy tambourines in music. I can handle Christmas jingle bells. They don't bother me. I have other sensory issues, but this is already long enough.

8. What kind of sensory inputs do you like the most? Anything sweatery!

9. What are your thoughts on self-diagnosis? I don't see anything wrong with it if you really do your research. My aunt was the one who diagnosed me. She has two Autistic sons, and she's done her research.

10. What is one thing that you wished everyone knew about Autism? I wish people would understand the importance of patience and acceptance. It really hurts me whenever people get frustrated with me, especially people I care about, because it makes me feel ashamed of myself. It makes me feel like I'm burdening them, and it makes me feel like I did something wrong. It can really take a tole on your self-esteem when it happens over and over. I also wish people would stop trying to “cure” or “fix” us. We're not sick, and we're not broken. I'm not saying we don't need extra help with our struggles, because we do. However, there's a difference between helping us and fixing us.

11. If you could repel one myth about Autism, which one would it be? Autism is not an “epidemic,” and it is not caused by vaccines! Even if it was, that doesn't mean we're broken or messed up! Stop trying to find the “cause” of Autism, so you can find a “cure.” Instead, listen to our stories, and don't brush us off like what we say means nothing. We just want to be accepted and loved. Is that asking too much?

12. What are some of the things that allistic people often expect you to do that make no sense to you? I've luckily never had to deal with any of that yet, not that I can recall.

13. How do you feel about being Autistic? I'm going to say it like it is. It's a pain in the ass sometimes, but it's also awesome!

14. Describe a place/room/situation that would be sensory heaven to you. My favorite music group of all time is Celtic Woman. If I ever went to a Meet & Greet, and they were all wearing fluffy sweater dresses, I would think I've died, and gone to sweater heaven, especially if they all pulled me into a big group sweater hug! You'd have to surgically remove me from them!

15. Describe a place/room/situation that would be sensory hell to you. My high school graduation is a perfect example! Our gowns zipped up in the front, and of course, I hated it! I had a major meltdown, but I couldn't take off the damn gown. I was in hell throughout the whole ceremony, but I was so relieved when I finally got to take off the gown. Another example is when I was seeing a psychiatrist as a teenager, he didn't understand my sensory issues, and thought the only way for me to “get over being afraid of” buttons was to make me wear a shirt with buttons on it everyday for about a half hour. It didn't work at all. It only made me miserable and ashamed of myself.

16. Do you have any mental illnesses/other kinds of neurodivergence? How do they interact with/affect your Autism? I don't have any other neurodivergences, but I am visually impaired, which means I can't see very well. It often clashes with my Autism, and makes some tasks even more difficult than they would be if I only had one or the other.

17. Do you prefer person-first or identity-first language? Either way is fine with me, but I totally understand why a lot of Autistic people prefer identity-first language.

18. What are your Autistic headcanons? I have no idea what the heck an Autistic headcanon is! If I find out what it is, I might update this answer.

19. Are there any books/shows/movies that you would recommend to other Autistic people? I am actually writing my own book, an autobiography, and it explains my struggles with Autism and my visual impairment. I guess I would recommend that when I finally finish it, because maybe it can help them in one way or another.

20. What are some of the Autism-related problems you often have in your everyday life? Some of the people in my life get frustrated or impatient with me when I display one of my Autistic behaviors. I know they don't mean to, but it really makes me feel bad when it happens. I feel like I did something wrong, or like I'm a burden or embarrassment to them.

21. What are your favorite Autism-related blogs/websites? I actually don't read a lot of blogs, but there are a couple of amazing Autistic YouTubers I love to watch. One of them is Amythest Schaber, who has a series on her channel called “Ask an Autistic,” where she explains different Autistic traits. The other one I love to watch is streamofawareness. Her real name is Cyndi, and she's actually one of my best friends. She explains all of her own Autistic traits, talks about her struggles, displays her traits on camera (stimming, meltdowns, shutdowns, etc), and she has a beautiful singing voice! I highly recommend you guys check them both out on YouTube! I've learned so much about myself and my own trails, because of them!

22. What do you like about being Autistic? I love that I have special interests, and a deep passion for them! I also just love being different. I used to be ashamed of it, but over the years, I've realized that it's okay to be different. If I'm not hurting anyone, I can do what I want. I've learned to take it as a compliment when people call me weird. I am weird, and I'm proud of it!

23. What do you dislike about being Autistic? I hate meltdowns and shutdowns. I hate that I get my feelings hurt more easily. I hate that I feel guilty over things I shouldn't. I hate that I feel stress more, and can't handle it very well. I hate that I can't pick up on social cues, and can't always tell if someone is joking or not. I also really hate that I can't take criticism very well. In fact, that's one trait I'm stil very ashamed of, because as a musician, people are going to criticize me. All these negative traits have let to so many people telling me to grow up, toughen up, deal with it, get over it, or that I'm getting upset over something stupid. I've had to deal with so many people shaming me for my behaviors, and I really hate that. I've had so many friends turn their backs on me, and so many relationships go up in smoke due to it. I really wish people could learn to be more accepting and patient.

24. If there was a cure for Autism, would you want to take it? Hell no! You know what I want cured instead? Ignorance! Cure that instead, because I'm not the sick one here!

25. What topics are you most likely to infodump about? Celtic Woman is probably the biggest one for me! I'm such a huge, huge fan of theirs that I keep up with the latest information on them, and I know so much about them. If you were to ask me to talk about them, I would never shut up!

26. Are there any stereotypes about autistic people that you fit? I would say the one I fit is that Autistic people are intellectually disabled. Obviously, that is not true for everyone on the sepctrum, but it sort of is for me. There are some subjects that my mind just cannot grasp, which is why I struggled so much in school, and even moreso in college. To get me to understand them, you'd have to dumb it down, and sometimes, even that wouldn't work for me. Some things are like Jibberish to me.

27. Which ‘social rules’ do you often have trouble with? I cannot, CANNOT, handle eye contact. A lot of Autistic people can't. For me, eye contact feels very invasive and overwhelming. It's even more uncomfortable for me, because one trait of my visual impairment is Nystagmus, which means my eyes wiggle, bounce, and move around a lot. It's because my retina is messed up, and it's very embarrassing for me when other people see that. It's even more embarrassing when they point it out.

28. Can you pass for neurotypical? Nope, but I really don't care.

29. Have you had any previous special interests? What were they? I used to love to draw and color. I haven't done that in a few years. Now, I like to create art on my computer.

#tiffany gray #actuallyautistic #actually autism #team autism #autism acceptance

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