jermalanche

i have an idea for a follower milestone. you sh

do you guys hear something

How funny that she never considered that.

Wear headphones. Please.

Transcript:

Machine, I will suck you off.

Splay the cum of your profane existence across the bed.

I WILL RELISH JERKING YOU HERE AND NOW.

Audio Source

its simply not enough to write smut about the riddle brothers i need them to literally own fuck and destroy me

big fan of his pink palette in strive

stupid sexy strahd.

Uhm, uhm- Carter- uhm- No, but like actuallY 'oh yeah, the victims are your average, run-of-the-mill individuals' *Carter has entered the chat* a literal serial killer oh, that was so funny, I died when I saw that, thank you so much <3 can't wait for RO POVs

oOpSiE ! ! 🥴🤪

i need to get weirder in this blog

in bonnies blindspot shmucking on her shmeatus

sneak attack but you're stealthly sucking Bonnie's peanus

What if Mike has known for longer than Will? What then? What if Mike knew he didn’t look at Will the way Dustin and Lucas did. What if he knew it wasn’t just because they were best friends.

I recently reposted a video of little Byler moments you probably missed and one of them was when he puts his hand on the table next to Will’s, he reaches for Will’s hand before deciding not to then hesitantly touches their thumbs together momentarily. You can have all those other moments and still be oblivious. But he had to be self aware enough there - in season 2 - to tell himself “don’t hold his hand. that looks...you don’t want people thinking things.”

So what if Mike met a really nice boy on the playground and started to have a crush on him like kids do and then it didn’t go away and then then he was bullied for having a crush on his best friend...because he did...and the bullies made sure he knew that he shouldn’t. But he did and he knew he did. But we watched as his relationship with El was simultaneous with the homophobic bullying. There was even a comment on her status as a girl that wasn’t grossed out by him. Even if just with Dustin and Lucas, even though he trusted them, he could build that reputation. He could say “yeah totally I have a crush on her” and they could tell people “yeah totally he’s had a crush on a girl”. And he asked her to the Snow Ball. He wanted to be seen with her. And he couldn’t describe why she wouldn’t be his sister so he just kissed her because she would get what he meant and...I mean now he can say he’s kissed a girl? Add that to the list? Same way he barely, awkwardly leaned in in the bathroom after being told he had a crush on her...it’s what he was expected to do and he didn’t want anyone to ask why he didn’t.

What if he didn’t think it would go as far as it did? What if he just meant for people to think they were a thing but then he didn’t know how to explain to her what to act like to seem like it was a date so he...demonstrated. And then he thought they would still just be friends and look like more and he wasn’t thinking about it and when she came back he thought they would be friends. And then she leaned in to kiss him before she left and he didn’t lean back but it was okay because they were interrupted. And then Will was dancing with a girl so he should too and she showed up which was a nice surprise and he knew she would go along and the dancing would still be nice and people could see them so he kissed her. And maybe he didn’t realize what he was doing to her or maybe he felt bad the whole time, who knows.

And then what if he felt bad because then he had to keep up the lie with her because she wasn’t in on it now like he originally thought she might. So he kisses her. And he’s late to the movies all the time so they know that he was. And he’s actually perfectly fine with not dating her, he just wants to be friends again. But...he honestly would rather stay not dating her, but he knows he should get back together or it’ll seem like he never liked her if he seems not to care so he asks Lucas how boys who miss their ex girlfriends are supposed to act. And he is racked with guilt over all of this so when Will of all people tells him it’s hurting him too that he’s lying to El, he just can’t handle it and he lashes out because please dear god can’t Will just be happy with a girlfriend or something too I don’t want to have to hurt him too. And please like girls, Will, please dear god I don’t know how to hold out as straight if you don’t. Please like girls so I can at least move on from you and not have to juggle lying to BOTH of you. And then he says “I love you” in front of everyone. And he didn’t mean it like that. But now they all expect him to tell her. But that’s too far. It’s just too far. He’ll dance with her and he’ll date her and he’ll kiss her and he’ll try to win her back but he refuses to lie to her and tell her he loves her. That’s just mean. But he’s expected to so he tries. But his conscience won’t let him. So when he finds out that she heard anyways he’s...horrified. This is further than he ever intended for it to go.

But it’s easy from a distance. Because he likes talking to her just fine. And maybe he doesn’t even notice he signs “from” when she signs “love”. Or maybe he sees her sign “love” and it hurts to know he’s not saying it back but he would still rather that than lie. And he tries to call Will but he can’t get through but he also isn’t gonna write him letters or anything because part of him knows he would sign them “love” and he just cannot confront that. But Will doesn’t call him either and that feels horrible but you know what maybe it’s for the best so he only has to juggle this lie with El. But then whoops he can’t contain it and he might have accidentally mentioned how sad he was that Will didn’t call under the thin veil of not telling him about El (but really? not even then did you call?). And Will says he was a third wheel. And he’s sorry but he has to close his ears, he can’t do this again, especially not while looking for El who’s crying. And he walks away. And he’ll apologize later, he swears, he’s just overwhelmed and confused and why is Will even jealous but also didn’t call? But then Will is upset at him for not calling more but he did. And he says “what about us?” which is a little too in his head for comfort. And he’s saying all the things Mike won’t let himself say. And he wants to say he called so many times. And he thought about calling so many more. And he wanted to write, he just couldn’t let himself. But he can’t exactly say that. So he reaches for anything close but not suspicious in little enough reaction time that it seems normal but that doesn’t land great because he says that he couldn’t write to both El and him and Will asks what the difference is. shit. what is the difference between Will and the person Will thinks he has feelings for. Did he seriously just ask that? No, he didn’t mean it like that. Obviously, they’re friends not dating. That’s the difference. That doesn’t land great either and he can’t exactly say “I can’t reach out to you, Will, because I have a girlfriend and don’t ask me how that’s contradictory but you can reach out to me don’t ask why about that either but the point is you didn’t and you didn’t know that made up rule in my head but I wish you did and I wish you had anyways” so he tries to say the closest platonic thing and then he gives up and walks away. And he feels really bad.

And El noticed the “from”. And she’s crying and he really does care about her but that isn’t what she wanted to hear and he still just can’t, won’t lie to her. not about this. So she’s crying. And he can’t say it. And he wishes he could. But he wishes he could because it was true. He knows he would never lie about that. And she says “from” in her last letter and that still hurts. Because he wishes she never did love him one-sided but it still feels like shit if she stops. But with a second to breathe, he finds...ambiguous enough...words to apologize to Will and put it right this time. And Will is smiling so big and then he’s talking about secrets and then he’s handing him his beautiful paintings and talking a little too genuinely about (El) having feelings for him and goddamnit Will you are really not helping you know that? XD. And maybe part of him wants to believe that Will made this painting for him. Okay, a big part of him, but the logical part of him knows he can’t handle it. He has to tell himself he didn’t. And Will can’t be crying because that would mean he meant what he said as his own. And he can’t. he can’t. He must be seeing things. And he’s thinking about El and he does love her and he wants to just tell her that he loves her (and hopefully have her understand how he means it) but it’s all stuttery and slow and gets interrupted anyways because he still does know that she won’t understand how he means it. That no matter what, he knows the implication and that is the lie. 

But then she’s dying. And here’s the kicker: if this is all true, Will Byers indirectly told him he loved him and it made him wanna die inside because it was just a reminder of how big of lie this next line was so he tensed and he pursed his lips and in any other circumstance he’d rather hurt her than lie about loving her but right now he’d rather lie about loving her than let her die. So he breaks the one rule he’s had about this whole situation for years. And it’s to save her. But he still feels guilty as hell about it. Because it’s still a lie. So part of him is glad they haven’t talked about it yet. He doesn’t wanna be in the type of relationship where you say I love you all the time and he has to lie like that every day. It’s already gone so much farther than he ever wanted. And he said I love you to her in front of Will. And this time, he did meant it as the lie it was interpreted as. And that just feels like lying to them both.

Because What if he’s known this entire time and is just kicking himself every day because he can’t get out of this situation without hurting people but every day he avoids it makes the hurt it would cause a little bigger. So he kicks himself every time he lies to El. And he kicks himself every time he lies to Will. And he kicks himself every time he feels bad about lying to El and spends time with Will for comfort. Because who knows if or when Will feels or knows, he still can’t handle even considering that (maybe he could do better with the whole being gay thing than he did when he was 12, but he still has a girlfriend now), but he’s known how he feels since it started. What if he’s just been knowingly in the “one way” closet for - who knows? around ten years? Just...dear god, child. Poor Mike Wheeler. What if he knows better than we thing. What if knows, has known, a little too well.

Went to a market and beach today - enjoyed the sea breeze

(stumbles into room) go... gomen iterators...... . .it ttitierators........... (cough) (blood cough) uhggggggggggggggggggg gomeneenen iteratororss ancientssagomenn (falls over and dies)

did you guys hear anything just now

Every once in a while I get the urge to make Dedf1sh hairy. Why? Hairy butches are hot. But I know Splatoon characters don’t have body hair so it wouldn’t make sense…. But hairy dedf1sh…..