(this is a repost because i think i accidentally deleted the original post :/)

fun (actually quite sad and not fun whatsoever) fact: when rincewind described what he thought was a crush on conina to himself he only listed physical "symptoms" such as fast heartbeat, feeling too hot to a "molten iron" extent and sweaty palms; he never brought up or even tried to bring up psychological stuff like being drawn to the person you have a crush on or finding some of their features or interests attractive or even something like wanting to get to know them better

he only found physical symptoms that could correspond to many different things other than infatuation and i personally think he just said to himself "well she's a woman and im a man and men are attracted to women right? therefore all this i feel must mean that im attracted to her, can't imagine anything else" but actually if you look at the aforementioned symptoms a little closer....i honestly am of the opinion he was just constantly stressed and anxious and scared on such a deep level already that he couldn't understand why was he feeling all that so he went for the only explanation available; he got so used to fear and anxiety he stopped noticing it and when it expectedly produced bad physical symptoms he already stopped even thinking about the fact that he's afraid and anxious because it became the default state of being to him; he forgot that feeling the way he feels all the time isn't normal

we stan homosexual behaviour (so dazai knew he was somehow already important to chuuya?) (woah that's gay)

[1. We Stan The Flags 2. We Stan Adam (Paul bby what are you doing)]

3. We Stan the "Demon Prodigy" (the homo prodigy maybe) (he ab to flip Verlaine off)

Adam's point of view? nothing better than it

yk what Mori how about you fall down the stairs and oh so accidently break your neck? no bad feelings just go die in a ditch (he's actually right, cause they're in the damn mafia and Chuuya has to kill the man who slaughtered his family. but he's mourning them and that patronising voice is killing me)

well maybe. but reading things like this makes sense, like who even thought ab just chewing something for a long time without eating it? ppl who didn't know ab it must have felt like Adam, they have my solidarity (Chuuya's about to kill him right there, first with the chocolate now with gums. imagine if he saw him eating pure sugar like it was water)

because he's a self harming asshole who still thinks he deserves the sheep's betrayal cause he was a "bad leader" sugar they were shitty people, and even if you were all fifteenish you didn't stab anyone without any second thought at least

No, you didn't get anything, you're a dumb bitch who makes me want to rip out my own eyeballs every time I have to read one of the stupid sentences you says. one thing I didn't miss about Stormbringer was Shirase talking again and again and again about things he didn't know and treating Chuuya like he was the one at fault just don't talk

ADAM STOP IT NOW they're always dropping height jokes about Chuuya and it makes me cry everytime (Asagiri thinks he's funny) (he is)

EVEN MURASE no I don't know why but I totally forgot everything about him. and I don't know if I'm happy or not, knowing how he'll end up...

why so romantic Chuuya him talking ab Dazai like he's a piece of trash is funnier than everything. this following the "dazai fell first" headcanon that basically is my bible (it's canon shut up, chuuya started to really love him after stormbringer just trust me)

and talking ab Dazai

so he thought of Dazai as someone dear enough to Chuuya to tying him to the Mafia? wow that's some serious charges Paul are you sure ab it? (I just imagine Paul about to kill him and Dazai being like "hey, you're the dog's lost brother, why are you here? me? tying him to the mafia? I don't think so, but you can kill me if you need it so much, thank you!")

you'll find something one day honey please stop you're making me cry (i love Odasaku but straight up telling him that he'll always feel empty is a little fucked up but I understand that you're traumatized too so dw)

he's so teenager just stop please (his writing is so pretty and the he-learned-to-write-properly-thanks-to-the-mafia hc is as canon as his name)

shut the fuck up. shut up. I don't wanna hear you. you're not even my shoe's king, just shut up.

AH AH TAKE THIS YOU ASSHOLE Adam doing what Chuuya wasn't able to (admit he wasn't the guilty one in that fucked up situation) Shirase needed someone telling him that he wasn't the fucking centre of the universe

Murase is the man every kid in bungou stray dogs needed. He already knows that is late for Chuuya, that he has already became a tool in the mafia's hands, but he doesn't want him to see it happens to others, or to be the one doing it. (think about Akutagawa, that entered the organization in some months I think, and became a tool in Dazai's hands. Chuuya was made executive in little time and he was for sure busy, but he was still there to look at Akutagawa craving for someone's approval to the point of becoming with time the Rabid Dog of the Mafia, Dazai's dog (funny) and he remembered what Murase said to him. just- him remembering. need more Akutagawa and Chuuya contents btw)

I hope you die (I love you but stop with the "little brother" thing you're hurting my eyes) (you're depressed like anyone else so stop pretending to be cheerful) (parallels with future Dazai? no alr stop)

not Chuuya knowing how to speak but not what bread is (people joke a lot about it but it made me cry the first time, and it's still fucking sad. and Shirase calling him disgusting when they were almost in the same situation? shut up please)

...yeah bby you're the mildest person I've ever seen

mild adjective, mild·er, mild·est. -amiably gentle or temperate in feeling or behavior toward others -characterized by or showing such gentleness, as manners or speech

yeah ofc you are bby

I hate them so much Chuuya still doesn't see the mafia as "family". his family has been killed by the only person in that world that could understand him. he doesn't trust Dazai, and he doesn't trust Mori, even if he respects him. He truly is desperate about the fact that the only man who ever tried to give him a chance died, cause the truth is no one will ever do something like this for him again. And the hitting his chest things is so immature and childish- like yeah we'll tell you ab his strength and power every two sentences, just to remind you he's been around killing people for years, but then we'll drop something like this to remind you he's a mere teenager

Hello. I have a few questions, for you. Of course, you don't have to answer them, if you don't want to.

What is your opinion on Star wars? How did you come to it?

Do you prefer canon or legends? If you have a preference, why is that?

Do you have experiences With dc comics? Do you have a favorite hero, of this certain comic company? If yes, why?

Do you think that palpatine's return, in both legends and canon, changes anything about Vader's death? Do you think that vader killing the emperor, and the emperor coming back, makes Vader's death seem not as important?

What is your opinion on Luke saying that, he wouldn't go after caedus, because he knew that he couldn't hold himself back from killing him?

Do you think that yoda is a good teacher? If yes, why? If no, why?

What is your opinion on dumbledore, from the Harry Potter series?

I thank you for your time, and hope you have a great morning, day or night.

Hello, mo1475! I’m happy to answer questions :) Though I've probably ranted excessively…

I am familiar with Star Wars, and I have a generally good opinion of the content I’ve interacted with; however, it’s been some time since I last interacted with the franchise in earnest, so I’m not familiar with the more recent series.

I’d assume I prefer canon? I haven’t seen Legends, so I can’t give a definitive answer to this one.

I do have knowledge of DC, though it’s more in the form of “I’ve read enough fanfiction to understand the plot points” than “I’ve read the comics”. I have watched some episodes of The Flash and Arrow, among other things, but I’ve never even touched a DC comic book. And yes, I do have a favourite DC hero, with no competition for the title: Red Robin | Tim Drake. It’s hard to explain why I like him, especially since I’ve only been familiar with the fanon version of him. I just think he’s neat. (If I had to pick a second favourite, it would probably be another member of the Batfam—most likely Cass)

Unlike many Star Wars fans, I don’t have a very strong opinion about Palpatine’s return, though in response to your question, I must say that it does take away from Vader’s death. I barely remember anything about the original six movies (I haven’t watched them in years), but Vader’s death is one scene I do remember. Anything that takes away from the significance of that scene, which stuck in even a child’s mind, is a bad choice in writing, in my opinion.

I’m unfamiliar with this plot point. I… have no idea who caedus is.

I don’t really have an opinion on Yoda. I’ve always thought the lore around him was a little weird; I didn’t pay much attention to it. I suppose he must, to some extent, have been a good teacher, since Luke won, but there’s also Dooku, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dumbledore… feels unimportant. I never focused on him much as a character because of that. I liked learning his backstory, but that was probably the only time I cared about him. I found him boring and preferred to obsess over Hermione, Remus, Hedwig, Draco, and Professor McGonagall. It felt like Dumbledore did nothing to advance the plot… and then died. Beyond that—and I’m probably being too harsh because of this—it’s frustrating that J. K. Rowling declared he was gay to get representation points without putting anything into the books about it. I understand clarifying sexualities outside of source material when they’re ambiguous, but there should have been enough evidence in the text for people to infer that he wasn’t straight.

Thank you for the ask! I enjoyed answering—gave me a good break from the crippling weight of deadlines. I hope you have a good morning, day or night as well!

The Queer Appeal of Sk8

Recently @mulberrymelancholy reblogged a post of mine with a truly galaxy brain take about how Sk8 “is a show made for queer fans” and generally how sports anime often depicts love and relationships in a way that’s more accessible and relatable to ace/arospec people than other mainstream media does.

Just, *chef’s kiss* fucking brilliant. I urge you to read their post here (note I’m referring to the reblog not the actual post).

And basically, it got me thinking about this concept of Sk8 as a Queer Show, and the kinds of stories and dynamics that tend to attract queer audiences in droves, regardless of whether its queerness is made explicit or hell, whether that queerness was intended.

And that’s what I’ve been pondering: What are the cues, markers, or coding, in Sk8 that set off the community’s collective gaydar?

I obviously can’t speak for the community. So here’s what aspects of the show intrigued me and what, for me, marks Sk8 as a Queer Show beyond the subtextual queer romances: a punk/alternative aesthetic, Found Family, Shadow as a drag persona, and The Hands.

1.) The Punk Aesthetic

All three of the above screenshots are taken from Ep 1, and every single one of them depicts background characters. They’re nameless and ultimately unimportant characters, yet each of them designed so distinctly and so unique from one another, one could mistake each of them for the main character(s) of another story.

Of what little I know about Punk subculture, I do know this: that the ethos of Punk is heavily built around a celebration of individuality and non-conformity. Sk8 seems to have incorporated this ethos into the very fabric its worldbuilding, and the aesthetics and culture upon which it takes inspiration appeals specifically to a queer audience.

I don’t really need to explain why Punk has such deep ties with the queer community. For decades, queer people have found community and acceptance within punk spaces, and punk ideology is something that I think is just ingrained in the queer consciousness as both lived experience and a survival tactic.

Therefore, a show that adopts punk aesthetics is, by association, already paying homage to Queer culture, intentional or not.

Queer fans notice this- like recognizes like.

2.) Found Family

This also needs little explanation.

Too often, queer individuals cannot rely on their “born into” families for support and acceptance. Too often, we are abused, neglected, and abandoned by those who we were taught would “always be there for us.”

And so, a universal experience for queer people has been redefining the meaning of Family, having to build our families from scratch, finding brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in people with whom we have no blood relation, and forming communities tied together by shared lived experience rather than shared genetics.

And this idea of Found Family is also built into Sk8′s narrative.

Like, for example, the way that Reki promises MIYA that he and Langa will “never disappear from [his] sight,” filling the void that MIYA felt after his friends abandoned him.

And in the way that JOE becomes a paternal figure for Reki, teaching him ways to improve in skateboarding, and ensuring that Reki doesn’t self isolate when he’s feeling insecure.

And in the whole Ep 6 business with Hiromi acting as babysitter to the Gang.

Hell, even ADAM (derogatory) is associated with this trope. Abused as a child, he finds solace in an underground skateboarding community and culture he helped create- his own found family (or some powertrippy version of it anyway).

Again, queer fans see themselves depicted in the show, but this time in the way that the show gives importance to Found Family relationships between its characters.

3.) Shadow and Drag

This is one that’s more of an association that I personally made. But I was intrigued by the way that Hiromi adopts his SHADOW persona. He wears SHADOW like a mask, and adopts a personality seemingly so opposite to his day-to-day behavior.

Further, the theatricality and general “gender fuckery” of his SHADOW persona, to me, just seemed so similar to a the characteristics of a drag persona (I don’t know a whole lot about drag but enough that I’m drawing superficial similarities).

There’s also this aspect of a “double life” that he, and actually all the other adult characters of the show, have to adopt, which is a way of living that I’m sure a lot of queer viewers see themselves reflected in.

4.) The Hands

Ohhhh the Hands.

One of the things I noticed very early on is the way the show constantly draws our attention to Reki’s hands, which I thought was a little strange for an anime about skating. After all, skating doesn’t really involve the hands, or at least the show doesn’t really draw attention to hands within the context of skating.

I count 3 times so far between Eps 1-9 in which hands are the focus of the frame.

First, when Reki teaches Langa how to fist pump after Langa lands his first ollie, second, when Reki and Langa make their Promise, and finally, when Langa saves Reki from falling off his board.

And you know what they say, twice is a coincidence but thrice is a motif (no one else actually says this I think I’m the only one who says this lol).

I’m not really certain why hands seem to be such a shared fixation among queer people (at least among those I interact with). All I know is that gay people are just fucking obsessed with them.

I have a Theory as to why, and at this point I’d love for other people to chime in and “compare notes” if you will, but I think it basically has to do with repression. And in the same way that queer people have had to redefine the meaning of family, we’ve also had to redefine intimacy.

Being overtly physically affectionate with someone of the same sex, even if they’re your significant other, or often specifically BECAUSE they’re your significant other, can still be dangerous, even now despite the “progression” of society. Queer people know this, this vigilant surveillance of our environment and ourselves, always asking ourselves, “Am I safe enough to be myself?”

Already, Western culture is pretty touch-averse. That is, it’s considered taboo to touch someone unless they’re a family member or a romantic partner. And to touch a person of the same sex in any way that could be misconstrued as romantic (which is most things tbh) is a big no no.

There’s just A Lot to unpack there.

But basically I think that queer people, by necessity, have had to learn to romanticize mundane or unconventional ways of being physically intimate so that we can continue to be romantic with one another without “being caught” so to speak.

Kissing and hugging is too obvious. But a handshake that lingers for just a second too long is much more likely to go unnoticed, braiding someone’s hair can easily be explained away as just lending a helping hand, touching palms to “compare hand sizes” is just good fun.

But for queer people, these brief and seemingly insignificant touches hold greater meaning, because it’s all we are allowed, and all we allow ourselves, to exchange with others.

God, I’ve gone off and rambled again. What’s my point? Basically that the way the show draws attention to Reki’s hands, and specifically how they’re so often framed with Langa’s hands, is one of the major reasons why I clocked Sk8 as a Queer. It’s just something that resonated with me and my own experience of queerness, and I know that I’m not the only one who noticed either.

~

So in conclusion, uhhhh yeah Sk8 the Infinity is just a super gay show, and it’s not even because of the homo-romantic subtext (that at this point is really just Text).

Because what’s important to understand is that Queerness isn’t just about same-sex romance.

Queer Love isn’t just shared between wives/girlfriends, husbands/boyfriends, and all their in-betweens. Queer Love can be two best friends who come out together, queer siblings who rely and support one another, a gay teacher who helps guide one of their questioning students, a queer community pitching in to help a struggling member.

And that all ties with another important thing to consider, that what we refer to as the “queer experience” or “queer culture” isn’t universal. In fact, it wrongly lumps together the unique experiences and struggles of queer BIPOC all under one umbrella that’s primary White and middle class.

So I think what drives a lot of my frustration about labeling a show like Sk8 as Queerbait is this very issue of considering queerness and queer representation within such narrow standards, and mandating that a show must pass a certain threshold of explicit queerness to be considered good representation.

I get that someone might only feel represented by an indisputable canonization of a same-sex couple. That’s fine. But labeling Sk8 as Queerbait for that reason alone ignores the vast array of other queer experiences.

The aspects of Sk8 that resonate most deeply with my own experiences of queerness is in the way that Reki and Langa share intimacy through skating (intricate rituals heyo). For me, them officially getting together ultimately doesn’t matter- I’ll consider Sk8 a Queer show regardless.

Similarly, @mulberrymelancholy​ finds ace/arospec representation in that very absence of an on-screen kiss. A bisexual man might find representation in Reki, not because he enters a canon relationship, but in the depiction of Reki’s coming of age, growing up and navigating adolescent relationships. A non-binary person might feel represented through CHERRY’s androgyny.

That’s the thing, I don’t know how this show will resonate with other members of the queer community, and it’d be wrong to make a judgement on Sk8′s queer representation based on my experiences alone.

That being said, Straight people definitely don’t get to judge Sk8 as Queerbait. Y’all can watch and enjoy the show, we WANT you to enjoy these kinds of shows, and we want you to share these shows and contribute to the normalization and celebration of these kinds of narratives.

But understand that you don’t have a right to tell us whether or not Sk8 has good or bad queer representation.

And even members of the queer community are on thin ice. Your experience of queerness is not universal. Listen to the other members of your community, and respect that what you might find lacking in this show may be the exact representation that someone else needs.

Cobra Kai, Future Season/s Dump Because I Have Many Thoughts

I’m gonna split this up into sections because oh boy are there a lot of things I’d like to see in the future of this series from these characters. DISCLAIMER; THIS ISN’T COMPLETE YET, SO KEEP CHECKING BACK TO SEE WHEN THIS DISCLAIMER DISSAPEARS BECAUSE AT THAT POINT IT SHOULD BE COMPLETE. I COULDN’T BE BOTHERED KEEPING IT IN MY DRAFTS.

Johnny Lawrence and Daniel LaRusso

So where we left off in Season 3 is Daniel and Johnny joining their dojos to become one to defeat the big enemy, Cobra Kai. But what does that also mean for them? They’re pretty much friends now, as much as either would them would probably hate to admit it. Anyway, these dynamics now presented, it opens up a lot of potential plots for them, the biggest of which being Lawrusso becoming canon at some point in the future, which I’d say is HIGHLY likely considering, as we all know, Ralph Macchio is the captain of said ship, and William Zabka, as far as I’m aware, is fairly supportive of this ship (FYI, Macchio has also said in an interview before that Johnny and Daniel have a very will they, won’t they? Ross and Rachel relationship, and imo, that’s not something you’d say about platonic friends). Anyhoo, below is pretty much what I’d love to see of them, and how it all happens, because trust me, there’s a long road to get to the point where we all want Lawrusso to be.

Personally, I would think neither Johnny or Daniel bat an eye about this whole potential relationship between the two of them until certain kids in their dojo start pairing up, and by certain kids I mean Eli/Hawk and Demetri, which would likely happen at some point during Season 4 after they’ve talked through their trauma and, for the most part, forgiven each other (mainly Demetri forgiving Eli/Hawk). 

The reason I say this is because I don’t think either Johnny or Daniel would have ever expected such a relationship to be considered normal, or for one just have it be accepted, because the two of them grew up in the 80s, where it was still shamed upon to be anything other that cis and het.

Such a thing leads me to the next point of internalised homophobia and repression, and the absolute confusion and probably shame that would come with realising that they aren’t straight, more or less on Daniel’s end. I feel as though Johnny wouldn’t have as much of a problem with it though because a) he’s a free agent, and yes I know he’s had an almost on/off thing with Carmen, but they’ve never actually, you know, laid the cards on the table and said, ‘yeah we’re a couple’, and b) I, like many others, are inclined to believe Johnny may be bisexual, which therefore gives him the crutch of ‘well I also like girls so I must be normal to a degree’. I also think Johnny would be in some way learning through the kids that all is well, and that’s it’s alright to feel the way he feels about people, because, I mean, let’s face it, literally no one in that dojo is straight. The show’s not Cobra Kai, it’s Cobra Queer. Now, Daniel, on the other hand, would have so much more trouble coming to, and accepting the conclusion that he may have a thing for dudes.

The biggest reason for that being, of course, his marriage to Amanda. I think that would definitely be the thing that messes with him the most, and I feel as though he’d be doing a lot of self-questioning, you know, such as things like ‘did i ever love her?’ or ‘have i been faking it all these years?’, which to both, we know, the answer is no, because, even if he was a straight A gay, it is possible to love someone without being attracted to them as per say. But anyway, I digress.

Daniel would probably end up questioning Amanda a lot too, whether she feels he’s good enough for her, or if he’s done right by her, et cetera, et cetera. This would likely make her question him, obviously, because her husband’s acting stranger than normal, and I feel like all that questioning on her part would likely lead to a breakdown on Daniel’s end in which case he would spill out all these emotions and feelings and realisations about him liking dudes. And obviously, all of this would absolutely crush Amanda’s heart, and he knows it, but she takes it in her stride, and does what she can to help him.

With this though would obviously come the divorce, something which is mutually agreed on, but they remain good friends. Course, they also have to tell the kids then why this is happening, and Sam is terribly accepting, of course. Anthony I’m not so sure about, but I think at the end of the day he loves his dad, nonetheless. I also think that Anthony would be inclined to live with his mother post-divorce, although he’d still come round on weekends to see his dad, meanwhile Sam lives with her father. 

Following their sexual awakenings then, along with personal acceptance, comes the realisations of the crushing. The way Johnny cares so much about the kids and how Daniel smiles at that, the way Daniel is always so calm and collected and how comforting of a feeling that is for Johnny. And I think, as an added bonus, the kids realise their senseis have a thing for one another before they even do themselves.

Their friendship grows though, one step at a time, and I think at some point there’s a night where Johnny and Daniel are sitting out on the deck at the dojo, drinking and reminiscing and laughing all the while. And it is that exact night that changes everything. Because at some point, when they’ve become substantially intoxicated, they let both their walls down completely, and in Johnny asking a question about Daniel’s divorce, the latter opens up as to why it happened. Because he’s gay. And I swear to god Johnny almost chokes hearing that, because, deep down in his subconscious, he’s been waiting to hear something like that from Daniel since they were in high school.

Suddenly, after that, the metaphorical blindfolds come off, and Johnny and Daniel actually, properly, begin to realise now that they are crushing on one another and hard. They’ve fallen head over heels and there’s nothing they can do about it. But they are both timid, and I feel Johnny more than Daniel in this case. 

Eventually Daniel gets the guts to ask Johnny out, on a date, to which the latter agrees, and they likely just spend their night eating gas station food (to Daniel’s begrudgement), and driving around various spots in town, including the sports hall where the All Valley Tournament of ‘84 was held. There I think they also really talk, for the first time, about everything that went down that night. Daniel thanks Johnny for giving him the trophy again, and Johnny ends up in tears when he talks about Kreese and what he did to him. And all the while Daniel comforts him, and probably gets a bit cheesy in saying they’ve got each other now, and they’ll take him down together, at which Johnny makes a snide comment about the cheesiness, but they laugh together nonetheless. They end the night with a very tentative first kiss outside Johnny’s apartment before Daniel drives home, smiling all the while. 

Of course, as fate has it, and schedules, the next day there is a karate session, and it’s likely a bit awkward between the two then because their stuck in that position of ‘we’re not friends but we’re also not in a proper romantic relationship yet and we’re also basically gay so like what do we do’. To fix said awkward tension, Johnny ends up asking Daniel out on a second date on the weekend, and Daniel agrees, granted he chooses what to do and where to go (because Johnny did that last time).

I feel like Daniel takes Johnny to the forest he took Robby to for that karate training session, because it means a lot to Daniel, that spot. And much like the last time, they find themselves talking more and more about whatever deep, unresolved trauma the two have, whether that be because of each other or because of external factors (family, friends, shared enemies, et cetera). I think this date also has them gaining a tad more confidence with each other when it comes to physical things, like kissing and holding hands and just all that relationship stuff (because they enjoy it a lot, they’re both just still afraid to do these things, because, again, this stuff was taboo when they were growing up).

They end up going on a third and fourth date, the latter of which they discuss their respective families (aka the children), and what and how they’re going to tell them, along with Johnny’s own fears about Robby and, if and when he comes back, how he’s going to feel about this. 

Following the fourth date they decide to make things official between them, and once again, there is a bit of tentativity when it comes to calling one another ‘boyfriend’ but they get over it soon enough, and in time the two are happily commiting to soft PDA whenever they see each other. All the karate kids(TM) are of course happy and accepting of their senseis. 

And I’m just gonna say, the moment their relationship becomes truly public is at the All Valley Tournament. They’re holding hands, their giving comforting hugs, and when their kids kick Cobra Kai’s asses, you bet they give each other the biggest, most public kiss ever. 

And following all of that, I just wanna see the domestic karate dads just being happy??

Oh and Robby has a great reaction to this relationship, because, you know, Daniel was like a father figure, so him just being with his dad is great (not to mention, it probably makes him more open about discussing his feelings to them about Miguel)

Demetri and Hawk

Miguel, Robby, and Sam

Robby getting chokeheld by Kreese after losing the All Valley. That’s it. I want that parallel between Robby and Johnny. Adding to that, Johnny then beats the sh*t out of Kreese, and as Kreese has made the mistake of trying to choke a minor in front of a crowd, this gets him arrested

Tory

Ali, Carmen, and Amanda

Kreese and Silver

As much as I hate it, I would like to see this Daniel’s trauma pop up in season 4, better yet if it affects Daniel to a point where it worries Johnny, because then perhaps there’ll be a good understanding between the two that they’ve BOTH had traumatic senseis in the past

What I’d also like to see is for Silver to continue Cobra Kai, if Kreese gets arrested for whatever public displays of violence, because that would create quite a large fear plot for Daniel’s part, and it would be really cool to then explore all his trauma

I’d love to see more of Kreese and his Sugar Daddy in general. Like I never thought I’d say it but I do ship them. Do I like them? F*ck no. But they are husbands imo, and I need to see more of those type of scenes in S4

Something I thought of was Silver showing up at Daniel (and Johnny’s) dojo while they’re doing a class, and I want that to be the first time Daniel sees him. It will make him freeze, I know it, and as much as I hate watching Daniel suffer, I also love it

The Lawrusso Dojo

Cobra Kai

The All Valley Tournament

LaRusso Auto Group

Other

jatp fics by yours truly

[so, since i’ve written quite a few jatp fics in my time now, i decided that it’s time for a little masterpost before i post something new. sorted the way they appear in my ao3 stats.]

Force of Nature [Luke/Reggie, 49k, T, famous!AU]

Luke meets Reggie in a toilet stall at an award show when he's just trying to hide from everyone. He's the frontman of famous pop punk band Sunset Curve, and Reggie is an international country star. Something shifts in his life when he asks Reggie to sneak out of the award show together to attend an underground punk rock gig instead. Luke doesn't believe in love at first sight, but Reggie sure as hell makes him question everything he's ever believed in before.

A Change of Scenery [Luke/Reggie, 32k, M, camping AU]

“Oh! Apparently, there are 36 questions that are designed to make anyone fall in love with anyone,” Reggie says, eyes wandering over the page. “That sounds easy.” Luke peers at the article and snorts. “Yeah, right. You mean to tell me that if I do these with Bobby’s dad, I will fall in love with him? Sounds likely.” Reggie shrugs, a grin tugging at his lips when he meets Luke’s eyes. “We could try it. Scared to actually fall in love with me, Patterson?”

or, Luke takes Reggie on a camping trip to the woods in an attempt to cure his writer's block and gets a little more than he bargained for.

Not That Straight [Luke/Reggie, 4.8k, T, post canon]

“Am I the only straight person in this group?” Three heads immediately turned towards Reggie, and three pairs of eyebrows were raised at him at the same time. Alright. They didn’t have to make it quite so obvious that he was the odd one out, right? “You sure, Reg?” Alex asked with a fair amount of disbelief in his voice. Luke snorted. “I’ve seen the way you look at me, bro. You aren’t that straight.”

Keep Dreaming Like We'll Live Forever [Luke/Reggie, 10k, T, post canon]

A few weeks before the Orpheum, Luke wrote a list of things he wanted to do before he turned 20. Obviously he never got that far, but the list is still there, crammed into his notebook. Death didn’t make him quite as dead as he expected, though, so maybe there is still a chance to do all the things he missed out on when he was alive.

(Part 1 of the Bucket List series)

One Life, No Regrets [Luke/Reggie, 12k, T, post canon]

After crossing almost everything off his bucket list of things he wanted to do before he turned 20, Luke tackles the second list he wrote a few weeks before the Orpheum: Things he originally wanted to do before he turned 30. Life after death still has more in store for him than he ever expected, including some valuable lessons about love and happiness, and about pain and heartache.

(Part 2 of the Bucket List series)

Sometimes Two Is Better Than One [Alex/Reggie/Luke, 2.1k, poly soulmates AU]

It’s weird, this soulmates thing. Alex has always thought so. People are born with random sentences scribbled onto their skin, and they’re supposed to be the first words their soulmate ever says to them. Generally speaking, he does think that the soulmarks make sense, too. For most people. His, however, has never made any sense at all.

Because his soulmark says "Hi, I’m Reggie. Reggie says you’re killing it on the drums, man."

Alex And His Rose Bush Boys [Alex/Reggie/Luke, 6.6k, poly pre-canon AU]

Five times Alex has to watch his two drunk and supposedly straight best friends make out with each other, and one time he finally gets to join.

Or, Luke and Reggie are completely oblivious and Alex has a lot of feelings.

Two Can Play This Game [Luke/Reggie, 5.9k, pre-canon AU]

Luke Patterson is a menace. He’s stubborn and persistent, and when he wants something, he stops at nothing to get it. And that includes flirting with Reggie to make him go to a punk rock gig in downtown LA with him. Luke is so sure he's going to win, but two can play his game. Reggie won’t just let him have it, and he will most certainly not go down without a fight.

For the prompt: “Stop flirting with me, I’m not going to fall for it.”

In Heaven I Can Skate [Alex/Willie, Luke/Reggie, 3k, post-canon AU]

The boys get drunk on liquor that Willie smuggled out of Caleb's cursed club, and Alex decides that it's the perfect time for Willie to teach him how to skateboard.

Meanwhile, Reggie feels a little impulsive.

Booksmart [Luke/Reggie, 1.5k, post-canon AU]

“This says that one in four people are gay,” Reggie reads out loud. “That means at least one person in this band is gay. I hope it’s Luke. Because Luke is cute.” Alex looks like he's about to have an aneurysm. “Dude. I’m literally right here. I’m the gay one.” Julie giggles. “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but I have a feeling he’s not the only one who’s a little gay in this band.”

Better Think With Your Mouth [Luke/Reggie, 2.3k, pre-canon AU]

“You kissed me!” Reggie shrieks, spluttering as he drops the guitar pick he’s been holding onto for the entirety of his rant. Luke merely chuckles and goes right back to strumming idly on his acoustic guitar. “Luke!” Reggie tries again, staring at his friend like he’s lost his mind. Luke must have lost his mind, right?

or, Reggie keeps going on extensive rants, and Luke starts kissing him to shut him up.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang [Luke/Reggie, 2.2k, post-canon AU]

It's New Year's Eve and Reggie just wants a kiss.

Bed Head [Luke/Reggie, 2.3k, pre-canon AU]

Here’s the thing. Reggie loves Luke’s messy hair. He would never admit it, of course, but the messier Luke’s hair, the more he enjoys watching him.

For the prompt: "Your bed head is really cute."

Post-it Notes [Luke/Reggie, 1.3k, pre-canon AU]

Reggie cleans Luke's room and leaves small notes on his things that make them both rethink just how platonic their feelings for each other really are.

For the prompt: “Don’t be sorry… it was kind of cute, actually.”

Loving Luke Patterson [Julie/Luke, Luke/Reggie, 7.2k, post-canon AU]

Julie and Reggie talk one afternoon and end up realising they're both in love with Luke. So, naturally, they become best friends. And Luke? Well, falling in love with people is just what Luke Patterson does, apparently.

Every Storm That Comes [Luke/Reggie, 5k, post-canon AU]

"Luke wants to be with Julie, because she’s awesome. Because she’s more than good enough. It doesn’t even matter that he’s a ghost and Julie isn’t. He wants to be with her anyway. He’d never want to be with someone like Reggie."

Or, Reggie has some mental health issues to work through, and his feelings for Luke don't really help. He learns that there is so much more love in his life than he ever realised, though, and that every storm has a tendency to come to an end eventually.

Through The Ages [Luke/Reggie, 4.2k, post-canon AU]

“So Luke, huh?” Alex asks, a small smile pulling at his lips. Reggie just grunts in agreement. “You know, I couldn’t stop him from confronting Julie about the song, but it‘s only a matter of minutes until she tells him that she didn’t write it.” “It doesn’t matter now,” Reggie says quietly. “He didn’t even stop to consider that it’s mine. He just thinks I’m a loser who writes bad country songs.”

or, After a few failed attempts at telling Luke how he feels about him, Reggie decides to write Luke a song instead. He sneaks it into Luke's journal, excitedly waiting for his best friend to find it. But when Luke finally does, he assumes Julie wrote it.

Okay. Now I'm going to submit some theories about how I think Crowley and Aziraphale specifically are going to go in the future of Good Omens.

Again, this post is not really...specific theorizing about plot events. It's big-picture stuff.

With that said, this post will get a bit heavy at times, in the sense that it will contain opinions that not everyone will like. It drifted into rambling about queerbaiting and all that stuff. I'm not going to spam anyone's dashboard with drama over it, but it's very possible someone else might try. It's also not really a negative post, depending on what you want to hear, I suppose. But if you're only in the mood to read fluff today, you'll probably want to pass it up.

Oh! Also it's very long, and sexuality is discussed in a vague way that doesn't involve any story elements or body parts.

For starters, I don't think Good Omens 2 - or even 3, if that comes about - is going to have anything explicitly sexual or romantic between the two of them, where "explicit" is things like the characters giving outright definitions of their relationship or outright discussing exactly what goes on between them, either on or off-screen. I also don't think there's going to be kissing or "hooking up" (come on...that person on Twitter shouldn't have even asked). Those actions are too blatant for what Neil has already said about the series. While they technically leave some room for interpretation, they probably don't leave enough.

I DO think it's quite possible other characters will continue to define the relationship FOR them and Crowley and Aziraphale will continue to not deny it.

As far as the queerbaiting debate, "is Good Omens queerbaiting"...it's gonna depend how you define it. I always learned that queerbaiting was basically where the creators intentionally make it look like a character is gay or otherwise queer but then swap that character development out for a cis identity and hetero relationship at the end. The point is that the "bait" leads to queer audiences being actively hurt. That's the behavior that seems awful to me, and I don't see Neil and company doing that.

However, I think it's far and away the most likely option that it will be left up to interpretation whether Crowley and Aziraphale are, you know, a buddy duo or a romantic couple or some sort of ineffable queerness all their own off-screen. So if your definition of queerbaiting is "the characters seem gay to us, but homophobes can tell themselves they're not," then yes, I think that debate will follow us to our graves if we let it.

I am a cisgender, possibly straight (?? demi/bi? I might never find out) woman. There is absolutely no way I could ever tell anybody, ESPECIALLY not gay guys and nonbinary people - the people Crowley and Aziraphale tend to resemble the most - how to feel about their treatment in the story. All I can offer is that I'm one flawed individual and there are things I have the emotional capacity to handle and things I don't. Crowley and Aziraphale as both a canon construct and a fandom pairing mean an absurd amount to me, and I can't hang around in spaces where people are constantly talking about how my own interpretations of them are not enough, or how the story is written with ill intentions. I don't want to stop anybody from venting about it, but I am going to be removing myself from those situations.

I like to imagine 1990 NeilandTerry, or TerryandNeil, as a sort of two-headed God who came up with Crowley and Aziraphale, set them loose on Creation, and now are watching them get up to way more ridiculous stuff in the brains of their fans than they'd ever imagined in the first place. I like to imagine them watching, amused and bemused, as their creations fall in love in thousands of universes, and saying, "Well, we didn't specifically Plan for this, but we did promise free will."

This is psychoanalytical toward a public figure and is therefore a bit dangerous, so please take it with an entire mountain of salt, but I sometimes think perhaps Neil sees some of his and Terry's friendship in Crowley and Aziraphale, and suspect that he wants to reserve the possibility that they could be platonic because he and Terry were platonic, while at the same time leaving room for the fans to have their own interpretations, too. Because if there's one thing that comes up really frequently with Neil, it's his belief in imagination and how much stories matter to people. He can have his little corner of the universe where A and C reflect himself and Terry, and we can have...literally anything we want, as long as we're willing to extrapolate just a little bit from canon. It's not even that much extrapolation! It's just "Yes, they love each other, so what exactly does love mean to you?" and if love means kissing, well then, if we can think it, we can have it.

Given that Neil has written LGBT+ characters before, I think he has non-bigoted reasons for wanting Aziraphale and Crowley to remain undefined, and given even the small chance that those reasons may involve the grieving process for a dead friend, I believe it is unkind to argue with him about it or hold his reputation hostage over it.

With that said, do I want canon kissing/hooking up/all that stuff we put in fics? Listen, I can't deny that I do! Personally, I'd be over the moon. I'd probably be so happy I'd have to go to the hospital to get sorted out. Even the thought of it makes me giddy and light-headed, because that physicality is a part of my own experience of love.

However, there are a lot of people who would feel left behind if that happened. Ace and aro people in the fandom whose love for their friends and partners is just as strong as mine, but who are sex-repulsed or just don't want to see kissing on-screen. The loss of Crowley and Aziraphale as a pairing who are extremely easy to interpret as queerplatonic would be hurtful to them, and I do not want to see them hurt like that. I don't think Neil does, either.

So, once again, the "best for everyone" option becomes a really strong canon relationship based in both narrative function and profound affection, which has genuinely thoughtful queer undertones and leaves open the logical possibility for romantic or sexual encounters but does not insist that they must happen. People, especially fans who are super invested, tend to have an easier time imagining scenarios that take place off-screen (e.g. kissing, sex) than they have erasing scenarios that they've already seen in canon (e.g., if someone wished they could continue viewing it as an ace relationship but they were shown "hooking up"). Also, while relationships are super emotional and extremely subjective, I'd argue that in a long-term adult partnership, the non-sexual connection is more important than the sexual one. As a fan, I'd prefer to extrapolate "they love each other so maybe they'd have sex" rather than "they're sexually attracted to each other so maybe they'll intertwine their whole existences together."

It probably isn't necessary to add, but I will anyway: I'm aware that Good Omens is sort of sacrificing social leverage - the ability to whack homophobes over the head with canon if they try to deny the show's queerness - and is thus not really contributing to making specifically gay relationships more widely seen and accepted. However, I don't think all stories have to invest heavily in every social issue they touch on for them to still be meaningful. I also do think Good Omens is an excellent example of a relationship that is extremely profound without being heteronormative.

I don't think the next season is going to be a rom-com. It will likely not even be a "love story," where the definition of "love story" is "a story that follows the development of a relationship and employs certain plot beats to make its point." Remember that conflicts and breakups are key to love stories, so if it IS a love story, then we're going to have to watch the relationship get challenged in ways some of us might have thought were already resolved in season 1! And while that could be thrilling and ultimately very good, it would also be likely to undercut some of the careful headcanoning and analysis we've already done. Any sequel is going to do that to some degree, but a second love story would probably do it a lot, with interpretations that people are even more protective of.

I'm sort of thinking the next season is likely to be a fantasy-heavy mystery, only because those are the two concepts Neil's introduction led with - an angel with amnesia who presents Crowley and Aziraphale with a mystery. Crowley and Aziraphale's connection to each other can still absolutely be a major theme! It can still be the thread stitching the plot together! It just probably, in my opinion, won't escalate and escalate and escalate like it did in season 1. And it will probably be woven in there among a lot of other plot threads that are, in many moments, louder. Still, I'd love to be left with the impression of these two existences, the light and the dark, subtly becoming more intimate, subtly growing more comfortable in this shared place they've chosen in the universe, gradually starting to behave like they know they aren't alone in the world anymore, all while other things happen to and around them.

Nonsexual physical intimacy - a really great hug, or leaning together on the sofa, or a forehead touch, or something like those, something that could happen in a lot of different kinds of relationships but is undoubtedly based in deep trust and affection and a desire to be close...that's the dream, for me. Oh, how lovely it would be.

Of course, I could be just absolutely, embarrassingly wrong about all this. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

... I must say, it's really nice to know it wasn't only I who found book!LWJ's attitude unnerving. He was shown a posessive there, I think? The funniest thing that TGCF I actually liked, because despite one of 'merry couple' fangirling for another for years, he still gave him free space and trusted to make his own decisions.

Hi anons! :)

This post is gonna get kind of wanky, so be warned. If you don’t want wank, well don’t read this post. I really don’t like to answer wank asks because only positive vibes for my blog please and thanks (but don’t worry anons, I’m not mad, I’m just gonna put the three of you together so I can talk about some of mdzs’s problems once and for all).  Also disclaimer: my opinions are my own, I could be wrong about some things. I have only dabbled in the novel, some chapters here and there, and I really couldn’t finish it. I went ahead and read the original text, which is actually quite well written all things considered. The translations are fine, but it just doesn’t quite hit the spot. Thus, if I said some things which are factually incorrect, I am not opposed to being notified.  

First and foremost, for the anon that asked “what’s wrong with mxtx?” The short answer is nothing is wrong with her. She’s an author who writes popular online novels with a wide readership. Clearly people are receptive to what she’s putting out there. Good for her, you know. It’s not easy to be that well received. 

But in terms of her novels, there are several things that I personally don’t like. I’m just gonna list some of the things she’s said about MDZS/CQL. I have not consumed any of her other work. 

First, her treatment of her female characters. In an interview, she literally said that most of the men in her MDZS novel are single because she didn’t want to come up with names for their wives. Like....what the fuck. Take from that what you will. Also, look at her female characters. Seriously, what kind of fates did they have? According to another OP, all the female characters’ lines in MDZS added up to 50 sentences. Don’t quote me on this, I did not fact check. This is just what I heard. But even within the narrative itself, let’s do a body count. Jiang Yanli died for plot. Wen Qing died for plot. Qin Su existed and died for plot. A-Jing existed for 45 seconds and then died for plot. Baoshan exists in narration only. Madam Yu was a raging asshole. Madam Jin treated Jin Guangyao like trash. Cangse Sanren: dead. Mama Lan: (no name lol) dead. Where are the fucking women? Where? Let’s not forget all the other women that existed purely as plot device: Sisi, Bicao, Meng Shi. Mianmian is the only one who lived, but she literally had to - quote Eliza Hamilton - “take myself out of the narrative” to do it. 

Second, and this is a well known thing: mxtx claimed that the only canon gay relationship is wangxian, everyone else is straight because she doesn’t think it’s likely that there are that many gay people. If we interpret other male characters as couples, we’re free to have our own interpretation. ... ..... .... I’m fucking speechless. But also laughing because LHK and ZZJ literally ignored canon, and straight up made LXC and MY have a meet cute in class in front of everyone. 

Third, but not least, let’s talk about book!Lan Wangji. The following will strictly be talking about book!Lan Wangji and not show!Lan Wangji. Show Lan Wangji is very nuanced and WYB’s micro-expressions are great. (You’re doing amazing sweeties, don’t ever stop).

 What, pray tell, is book!LWJ’s personality? Silence is not a personality. book!LWJ is what we critics in the drama world call “高冷霸道总裁”, which is a trope in and of itself. And there’s nothing wrong with tropes, except a lot of viewers are getting...kind of sick of it, because it’s getting a little repetitive. 

高冷 = arrogant and cold, but like... in an admirably good way. Or as I like to call it, a stick up the butt and no communication skills. 

霸道总裁 = The Big Boss.  Attention: lemme use some heteronormative language here for a second because most of cdrama is written this way. The Big Boss is the fictional counterpart to the real life 高富帅 (gao fu shuai: tall, rich and handsome, the moniker for an ideal husband) that many aunties and mothers wish their daughters could marry. This kind of character is tall, rich and will swoop in to save the damsel-in-distress - erm, I mean the strong independent female character - when she’s in trouble. Because even though she’s a strong independent character, and sometimes even the main character, somehow her fellow male lead still has to play her knight in shiny armor. Not like, he’ll sit down and listen to her talk about her problems, no, no, he has to pay for her expenses, bail her out of trouble, save her life, sacrifice himself, go against the world for her... sounds familiar??? 

Yeah. 

And like, some novels do “the big boss” trope better than other. They give the “the big boss” a human side, let him interact with side characters, allow him to have friends, build on other relationships, such that he is 3D and can stand on his own. Eternal Love of Dream’s DongHua Dijun is a recent example which I think did a pretty good job of writing a male character that doesn’t let him revolve around the love interest 24/7. 

book!LWJ doesn’t work for me because what exactly is his character growth? He serves to back up Wei Wuxian and.....????? He’s so flat in his character built. He loves Wei Wuxian and....that’s it. What else is there? If there’s other character traits y’all picked up on that I didn’t, please let me know because I find him so boring and at times disturbing (in terms of the nature of his physical relationship with Wei Wuxian). 

In CQL, we saw Lan Wangji change as a character, we saw him struggle with morals and values, struggle against tradition and family and societal expectations. We watched him witness the death of Wei Wuxian and move on to face life afterwards. We know through the actions of Lan Sizhui that he helped raise a child who didn’t just follow rules blindly. When Wei Wuxian came back, we saw a matured Lan Wangji who had come into his own and was comfortable in his own skin. And in the end, when the dust settled and the truth was revealed, he rose to the occasion. Jin Guangyao’s death left a power vacuum, and Lan Wangji filled it. Someone once wrote an excellent post about Lan Wangji being attracted to Wei Wuxian’s sense of justice (recall Wang Yibo’s change in expression when Wei Wuxian prayed during the lantern ceremony). I think that is exactly right. For two individuals with such different personalities, their bond in my opinion lies in their ability to see right and wrong beyond rules and laws and customs.  

In the book, canon ended with the two main character going at it in the grass, and I guess...yeah that’s cool. Happy ending right? But what they did learn? What was the point? Lan Wangji had lived 13/16 years without Wei Wuxian. He knew who he was. But for Wei Wuxian, he came back to life in another person’s body and went through a gazillion different revelation within days. He needed to find himself again, discover who he is, what he wants in this new life. That is a process he needs to do by himself, without external influences and pressure. He needs to be given a chance to decide that Lan Wangji is who he wants in this life, not in the last life, and when he does Lan Wangji will still be here, waiting for him, as he has always waited for him. Lan Wangji is the rock, the constant, the home that Wei Wuxian could always fall back on. He is not a prison, not a master, not the dictator of Wei Wuxian’s life. Theirs should be a partnership of respect and understanding. They are soulmates not only in the romantic sense, but because they understand each other better than anyone else. 

Book!LWJ does not give us that. What it does give us is a badly written sexual intercourse that gives me the heebee-jeebees. Sometimes I think it’s even weirdly dub-con without intending to be dub-con. The truth is I can’t even begrudge mxtx for it, because she is not the only one to write in this way. I’ve read other c-novels and many many of them are like that. And here is where we’re getting into the discussion of cultural understanding/acceptance of sex, relationship, consent, gender roles and the what is taught to young adults in school. That is a rabbit hole I won’t go into. 

So that’s it. My thoughts. 

Why Malec Works Together-and SnowBaz Doesn't

Hello, everyone. Yes, I know this is technically my hiatus, but writing essays is a thing I do often so I wrote this thing.

If you've been paying attention to my Goodreads, I recently read Carry On. And I had THOUGHTS on that book. I actually ended up eating it two stars because the world building convinced me to read the second book.

Then I DNFed it at 44 pages.

So in this essay I will compare Simon and Baz's relationship to a better queer relationship-Magnus and Alec. Be prepared for some hot takes.

The first problem I see with Carry On (just in the whole) is when we first get Baz's POV. And the first thing we learn is that he is GAY. Like, hopelessly pining for Simon gay. And it for me it felt . . . Unnecessary.

It was like I'd been smacked with the sudden realization he was gay. And it didn't feel right at all.

Compared to when I found out Alec was gay in City of Bones. I was like, "okay." It worked.

Even though both Alec and Baz are both loners, Alec was at least shown as gay before that. Clary picked up on the way he was looking at Jace at least fifty pages before Izzy confirmed it.

It was the exact same with Simon suddenly being attracted to guys. Baz kisses him, and he's like, "I must be gay! But I'm straight!" Completely skips over bisexuals being a thing, which reeks of biphobia. (I'm also bi, so thanks, Rainbow Rowell, for erasing my identity.)

Compared to Magnus, whose bisexuality is not a surprise and works perfectly with him. Magnus is one of the best bisexuals in books I've read because he does care what people think of him. He acts and then thinks later. Hey, at least Magnus isn't some kind of rip-off Chosen Harry Potter.

Another issue I have is that Simon and Baz HAVE NO CHEMISTRY. Like, yes, Baz had a crush on him. But so did Alec for Jace and those two were never going to end up together even if Jace wasn't his parabatai and also queer. (Although Alone though Simon and Jace were dating; Jace could totally be bi or something.)

Baz just kissed Simon, and all of a sudden, Simon just loves him. Despite the fact Baz has been kind of a dick towards him for the entire time. Not the worst person, but the annoying roommate who REFUSES to pick up their socks. (Not exactly canon but he gives off those vibes.)

Somehow the rest of the book (which is less than 200 pages because the last 100 were hopeless gay pining and before that 200 pages of STRAIGHT) manages to drill this horrible no-chemistry relationship into you. It shows how bad their chemistry is.

Basically Simon is left alone to solve his problems, which he technically caused. So the other antagonist dies and Simon gets a devil tail and some wings. He looks like a rip-off blue Lucifer. I'm not even joking.

I don't even think Baz helped whatsoever. He just vibes with Simon's other friends, who didn't even help either.

Whereas we have Magnus and Alec where Magnus had to show up and help the Shadowhunters simply because he was dating Alec. Magnus, for no other reason than Alec, helped. And he actually did things, like doing some magic with Valentine's ship, fighting against Valentine's demons in City of Glass, and even going as far to SUMMON AZAZEL. That's pretty serious.

Even if Alec isn't technically the Chosen One, he's still chosen in the sense of being chosen to fight demons. The Shadowhunters are the warriors, who have to right against the demons. They were literally CHOSEN BY THE ANGEL RAZIEL. That's close enough for me.

Also, when Alec and Magnus fought together (Alliance rune in both CoG and TLBOW, the Battle of the Burren in CoLS, most of TRSM.) their relationship got better. It was amazing to see them grow closer together while defeating their enemies. It's the best.

If Baz doesn't help his boyfriend at all out of pure spite, it just DOES NOT WORK.

And then the last scene with Baz and Simon was kinda thrown together. They were trying not be gay while being gay. And it's not even like they really had that much homophobia. It's hinted at Baz's dad wouldn't approve of him dating a boy, and he would have to marry a girl.

But it's not like how Alec believed he could never be himself because the Shadowhunters frowned on if. In GOTSM, we did see how Alec felt oppressed by his dad when he was younger. And in the TV show he almost married Lydia before Magnus crashed his wedding, so there was some obvious homophobia.

Also, the homophobia for the Shadowhunters was more likely because of the bag of dicks known as the Cohort. It was obvious. Carry On had one person who disapproved and technically Baz could move out so it didn't matter.

And then we have the mess that is Wayward Son. I have read 44 pages of it, then gave up. Why? Because there is no plot to speak of.

Wayward Son and the Red Scrolls of Magic have similar premises: The world has been saved, now the relationship must be developed.

But Wayward Son doesn't have a demon-worshipping cult (which could happen because of Blue Lucifer over there). It instead has Simon adjusting to being normal.

But unlike the mundane Magnus from Season 3B of the TV show, nothing happened. It was just a stupid vacation that had no development over forty pages. I would forgive it if it was longer, but it's 356 pages, about the length of The Red Scrolls of Magic.

TRSM had plot when you started. We had Magnus and Alec in Paris, introducing their relationship at this time, and there was a little conflict involving demons. This was in the first twenty pages.

In the next twenty pages, another plot in the book was established: Magnus and Alec trying to take the next step. Which leads a huge part of the book, and a hilarious subplot.

After Magnus and Alec are interrupted by Tessa (who was calmly sitting on a chair), the main plot is introduced. Also known as Magnus's demon-worshipping cult, the Crimson Hand. There was plot here, all the way from the inciting incident of the Iblis demons to Tessa telling Magnus his cult is causing problems.

Wayward Son has no plot. They just randomly go on this vacation, and no magic plot happens. It's just a vacation on a fantasy backdrop. Which is so boring.

You could argue that the plot is Simon adjusting to being normal, but I throw in the evidence that is Magnus in most of season 3B of Shadowhunters.

First, some background.

Back in season 3A, Magnus gave up his magic to Asmodeus to help Jace. (Mainly because he wanted Alec to feel better but that's a discussion for another time.) They left to Magnus being a mundane for most of season 3B until Alec tried to get Magnus his magic back. (Another plot, but let me focus on the mundane part of this plot which was in episodes 11-13, and 17)

Magnus, who has used magic for his entire life, doesn't feel right. But he still tries to live his normal life. Which ends up with him facing off against another warlock and getting kidnapped. Good job, Magnus. You really fucked up.

You can see the way Magnus tries to adjust to being the person he is now, just a mundane. He's trying to be the same person he was before, just without his magic.

Even with it being a TV show and we can't see what Magnus is thinking, it's clear Magnus is hurting. He turns to alcohol, and is so sad and lonely. Alec offers him unconditional love (he even was going to propose to him!) but it just isn't enough.

In the end, Magnus gets magic back, and loses Alec. However, because Maryse has a brain and knew her son screwed up, managed to have Magnus connect the dots, yeet Asmodeus into Limbo, and ends up proposing to Alec. I was a mess by the end of the whole situation.

I've seen none of this in Wayward Son. Simon may show it in a different way but it's just . . . Not effective. He mopes around and his relationship with Baz doesn't matter.

So that is the exact opposite of Malec, where Alec clung onto Magnus and loved him enough to try and get him to stay. Baz wasn't doing anything. In fact, they were going to break up.

You know what, Wayward Son sounds like if CoLS Malec went on a trip. But I guess the time away from Camille would do Alec good, and they'd come back stronger than a 90's trend. Whereas Simon and Baz are hanging on by a loose thread and ate going to crash and burn soon.

I could continue ranting, but this is the best I can do. I know this might be me bashing on your favorite book, it just makes no sense to me.

Brothers

A little Manes brothers canon divergence for @eveningspirit ‘s birthday! I hope you like it :) It also happens to fit with today’s @alexmanesappreciation theme: legacy.

[concussions, mentions of vomiting, mentions of abuse, mentions of the shed scene]

The exact sequence of events that leads to him, Flint and Gregory sitting together on a mattress in the bared living room of a house he doesn't know will remain blurry in Alex's memory. He puts it on the massive concussion he sustained at the hands of his own father, because he was careless enough to let his guard drop for ten seconds and the bastard managed to sneak up on him.

He remembers waking up in his childhood home and almost throwing up on the floor of the basement at the goddamn awful feeling of being back there−or maybe that was just the concussion. Probably the concussion.

He'd suspected that his father was faking most of the consequences of his stroke for a while, and he'd known about the bug on his phone for days. He just didn't expect his father to act so fast, in the middle of the junkyard, when Alex was supposed to report back in the morning.

Maybe Jesse heard something in his voice down in the bunker. Alex let his emotions carry him away and said more than he meant to, so maybe his father figured out that he was made somehow. Either way, he got the drop on him, and Alex woke up with a killer headache, pissed off, confused, and, yes, scared. Even after all these years, after three tours overseas, his father still scares the shit out of him.

The one who greeted him upon waking up, however, was not his father. It was Flint, a gun in his hand and a hard look on his face. Alex's sudden hope that Flint was here to free him was squashed quickly at his sneer. He listened to Flint and their father argue up in the living room about where to keep him for hours−something about Jesse grabbing him too early, before things were ready−before Flint came to get him. He'd learned his lesson from last time, because he stayed out of range of Alex's zip-tied hands the whole way out of the house. Alex nearly fell down the stairs at least three times because of the dizziness, and threw up, with some satisfaction, on his father's shoes.

It's been days, but he's still dizzy and nauseous all the time, and the killer headache is a constant companion.

Greg's hands are on him, checking him over. He finds one of the bumps on his head and Alex flinches away, almost overbalancing off the mattress when the cuff on his wrist pulls him back. “Are you alright?” Greg murmurs. Alex nods, and immediately regrets it as it sends a spike of pain down his spine.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Greg?” Flint growls. For once, he doesn't have his gun in his hand. Alex realizes that it's because the gun is tucked in Greg's waistband and he frowns, trying to keep it in his line of sight just in case. He thinks Greg actually cares, that he's not in on this with Flint and their Dad, but if he's not, why is he here?

“Now that's a real funny story,” Greg smirks mirthlessly. “Why don't you sit down, Flint?” He formulates it as a question, but it's obviously an order. And in a situation where there's only one gun, ranks don't matter much. Greg is out of the Navy and Alex outranks both of them anyway. Flint slowly drops to the floor, just outside the mattress, and crosses both his legs and his arms petulantly.

“See, yesterday morning, I got a call,” Greg stars. “It's the funny thing about being the only one in our family Alex trusts enough to list as next of kin. You get these calls. I got one before,” he nods to Alex's leg. “No, two, actually. There was that one time−” Alex glares at him and he rolls his eyes. “Okay, okay, back to the point. I was told that Alex had been AWOL for 72 hours, and they were looking for him.”

Alex winces. Of course he already knows that crawling this way out of this one, even if everything ends well and no one dies, is going to be impossible. Being AWOL will earn him jail time, which is already bad, but if they start looking into his recent activities out of suspicion...well, he hopes to God that Liz has really emptied the lab, or things will get a hell of a lot more complicated.

Speaking of Liz...

Helena Ortecho was a surprise. There's a kind of irony in there, that Alex would be more surprised at being held captive by a woman he hasn't seen in over a decade than by his own family. He wonders what Liz would think of Helena being a kidnapper−or of her being more motherly to him that he's ever seen her be to Liz and Rosa. She watched Flint tie him up to a radiator without a word and then brought him food and clothes that weren't covered in vomit and dust, even getting Flint to briefly untie him at gunpoint to get his arm through the sleeve. Alex might have tried to seize the opportunity to fight back if he'd been able to see straight.

“Now I'm a good brother, and I know there's no way Alex would go AWOL without a good reason,” Greg continues. “Especially the day after he drove to the rez with a bunch of suspicious people who are supposedly his friends, and tells me he thinks that Dad has changed.”

Flint huffs.

“Yes,” Greg nods. “Either our baby brother really is more naive than we thought, or something fishy is going on.” Alex rolls his eyes, and Greg just glares at him.

The last few days, after getting to the house, are even more fuzzy. Alex remembers trying to push the mattress against the wall to get a better range of movement, and Flint coldly making him pull it back. He remembers pulling off his prosthetic, his stump swollen and sore from too much time with it on, and then trying to hit Flint with it the next time he came by, which earned him what is probably a second concussion from the butt of his brother's gun. He doesn't really remember anything since then. From the stubble on his face, it's been at least three days, but time is wonky and his mind unreliable.

Which brings him to now, and now has Greg sitting beside him on the mattress. Alex tries to blink away the confusion and sit up properly, wincing when his stump moves on the mattress. Days without a shrinker will make it a bitch to get back into the prosthetic.

Greg shifts. “I took a family emergency day, since that seemed to be the case, and I drove to Roswell. I had to look up my own brother's address in the phone book,” he glares again.

Alex throws his free hand up. “Hey, you're the one who didn't want to come.” His voice is weak and hoarse from disuse, and Greg looks more concerned than chastened.

“Right. I broke in−sorry, Alex, I'll replace the lock if you want me to. Alex's house was empty but his suitcase was still waiting on his bed. So I looked up Isobel Evans.”

“Really? Isobel?”

Greg shrugs. “I don't know what's going on between you, Guerin and Maria, but I'm not getting in the middle of it. Besides, Isobel seemed the most sensible of all of you.”

“You're just attracted to her,” Alex mutters.

“Alex, the choice I had was her or her brother. I know you're gay, but would you really go to Max Evans first?”

“I see your point,” Alex concedes, though he's still really not sure “sensible” is the adjective he'd use to describe Isobel. His muddled brain can't seem to come up with a better one, though, so he lets it go.

“All Isobel could tell me was that no one had seen you since you came back from the rez, but she got everyone moving to find you. Guerin went at it with Dad, got him to admit that he got to you first and Flint took you from him. Don't ask me how, I don't know.”

Isobel, Alex thinks after he's parsed all this−with at least a thirty-second delay. Isobel must have gone into their Dad's head, he would never have told them that willingly. But Greg doesn't know about aliens and there's no way he'll risk telling Flint something he could use against them, so he keeps quiet.

“After that, it wasn't hard to follow Flint here from his place,” Greg finishes. “I disarmed him once I confirmed you were here.”

Flint grunts. Alex looks over at him, amused. He's never been the best at self-defense, even when they were kids, too easily overtaken by his temper.

“Now will someone explain to me what's going on here?” Greg straightens up more, in a stance that looks relaxed but Alex can feel is fully vigilant. He may be missing part of the story, but he's a force to be reckoned with.

Alex and Flint exchange a glance. Somehow even as they stand on opposite sides of this fight, this decision−tell Greg about the aliens or try to lie their way through some kind of resolution−comes down to them. “Where's Helena?” Alex asks.

“In town,” Flint answers, some of the confrontation gone from his tone. “She won't be back for a few hours.”

“Who's Helena?” Greg asks.

“Flint's accomplice,” Alex answers. “Ironically also my friends' mom.”

“Which friends?” Greg frowns.

“Liz and Rosa. You remember them?”

Greg nods. “Rosa was the girl in Flint's year who died, right? Her mom is helping you?” he asks Flint.

Flint shrugs and looks at Alex again, trying to communicate something silently. Alex doesn't bother figuring out what it is. His head isn't quite clear enough to see all of the implications, but he already knows that there's no way Greg will settle for anything short of the truth. And Greg has always been very good at reading his brothers.

Plus, Greg is in control here, and he's been more than sympathetic to Alex since his injury. This could come out well for Alex, so he won't let Flint turn this to his advantage.

“Dad tried to take me down because I've become an inconvenience to his little genocide plan,” he says before Flint can stop him. “Flint thinks he can use me to get Michael to build him a bomb.”

That's the little he's gathered from Flint's talk with Dad the other day, and from Flint and Helena's interaction. He has no idea where Helena comes into it or how she learned about aliens, but he knows Flint's motivations well enough. They've been clear since Caulfield.

“Wait, genocide? Bomb?” Greg spits out in shock. Then he shakes his head, as if realizing that he shouldn't be surprised. “What the fuck are you doing, Flint?”

“They're invaders,” Flint says. “They're dangerous.” He's looking at Alex rather than Greg, as if he's trying to convince him. Alex wonders if he's not still trying to convince himself. Dad's twisted ideas coming from Flint's mouth sound so perverted and out of place.

“They're people,” Alex shoots back.

“They're aliens!”

“They're refugees!”

“Whoa,” Greg throws up his arms. “Am I missing something obvious or did you suddenly become a racist asshole? Are you even hearing yourself?” he asks Flint. Flint has the good grace to look a little abashed.

“Literal aliens,” Alex mutters. “We're talking about actual aliens.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Not even a little,” Alex sighs.

Greg closes his eyes. “Okay. Aliens. And Dad−”

“Wants to kill them all. Kept some of them prisoners for decades and experimented on them.”

Alex watches both Greg and Flint's face closely as he says that. Greg's is suitably horrified, but he doesn't know how to interpret Flint's expression. It's not disgust. It's not glee, either. He may be parroting Dad's rhetoric, but he's not lost to it.

“Dad was just trying to protect us,” he says. Not perfectly assured. The facade is cracking.

“Was?” Greg notices.

“He's been weaker, since the stroke.”

“You know he's faking the limp, right?” Alex asks.

A shadow goes through Flint's gaze. “Of course,” he says, but it's obviously a lie.

“Another lovely moment, finding out my father has been faking a disability for months when he hit me over the head with his cane,” Alex casually turns to Greg. Flint winces, glancing down at Alex's empty pant leg. “I love how well we communicate in this family.”

“Alex−” Flint starts.

“You don't get to say anything. You've been holding me chained up for days against my will. You've lost the right to tell me how great a family we are.”

“I'm still hung up over the alien thing, but I have to agree with Alex here,” Greg says. “What the fuck were you thinking, Flint?”

“He wants Michael to do something for him,” Alex says when Flint doesn't answer. “I don't even know why you'd think Michael will do anything. We're not together. And you're asking him to build a bomb designed to wipe out his entire species, Flint.”

“Wait, wait, Guerin's an alien?” Greg interrupts him.

“Yep,” Alex pops out the 'p'. “That's Dad's great threat to earth. Three orphan refugees who just want to live their life.”

“They're not alone,” Flint mutters, at the same time as Greg asks, “Three? Who else?”

“Max and Isobel Evans,” Alex smirks. The cat is out of the bag anyway, since Flint knows, and this little revenge feels good. Having one of his brothers on his side will feel good.

Greg blinks. “Okay,” he drawls out. “Let me get this straight. Guerin and the Evanses are aliens, even though they look just like us. And Dad knows about this, and wants to...wipe them out? And you're helping him?” he points to Flint.

“It's not just them,” Flint says. “We had specimens in Caulfield who could cause cancer with a simple touch, blow up whole buildings. They have dangerous powers.”

“And you have a gun,” Alex says. “How is it less dangerous than any of those powers? Powers, I should add, that Dad had no trouble using for his own agenda when it came to eliminating Jim Valenti.”

“Jim Valenti was killed by Subject N-38,” Flint frowns.

“And what, you think he went into his cell for fun? I have all the video surveillance, Flint. All the records. Decades of Dad and our grandfather randomly torturing people before going home for Sunday dinner.” From those surveillance tapes, he knows that Flint never had real contact with any of the prisoners. He never even went beyond the upper level, where he did the designs for his bomb. Alex spent hours and hours watching those tapes. “They're the same as us. Just people.”

“They want to wipe us out,” Flint says.

“They're my family,” Alex counters softly.

The shock on Flint's face would be comical, if it wasn't so painful. Greg's gaze on Alex is lost and sad. “They're more my family than you've ever been,” Alex adds for Flint.

He tries to mitigate that blow by putting a hand on Greg's arm, to show him that he doesn't mean him, but Greg shakes his head and gently moves away, guilt obvious on his face. Alex pushes through and leans his shoulder on Greg's, welcoming the support. His head is clearer now, but he's aching all over.

“Did you ever stop to think, when you were overseas?” he starts, his voice barely more than a whisper as he's trying to conserve some energy. “When you pointed your gun at insurgents or civilians or whoever it was that day you were ordered to contain or kill, did you stop and wonder who they were? If they had a life, too, a family? A brother?”

Flint looks away.

“Michael was the first person who really understood,” Alex continues. “He grew up in the system and he got the worse luck. He made me feel safe, for the first time since Mom left. He made me feel like I could get out of Roswell, escape Dad.”

“What happened?” Greg asks in a murmur.

“Dad found us,” Alex answers. “He didn't know what Michael was, but it didn't matter. He knew what I am. He started to choke me, and Michael tried to step in, so Dad took a hammer to Michael's hand.”

Neither of his brothers look shocked. Greg is clearly pained, and he drapes his arm around Alex's back in comfort, and Flint won't look at him, but they're not shocked. That's probably the saddest thing, that they all know exactly what Jesse Manes is capable of.

He waits until he's caught Flint's eyes again. “Michael's mother was in Caulfield,” he says. “He got to see her blow up with the building. He wanted to stay with her. He dreamed of going to college, but he stayed in Roswell because his sister needed him. He used to play the guitar while I sang, before Dad ruined his hand. That's the threat you're trying to eliminate, Flint.”

Flint swallows. “Did Dad really kill Jim?”

“I have the video on a secure network,” Alex nods. “We'd have to go to my place to show you, but yes. He did. I'm sorry,” he adds after a moment.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I'm sorry that Dad isn't the man you wish he was. I wished for something else for a long time, too.”

Flint stands up suddenly, and starts pacing. “I've read the reports,” he says. “The aliens attacked people when they arrived. And there's been thirteen murders in the last ten years done by aliens.”

Greg looks at Alex. “Is that true?”

“Yes,” Alex sighs. “They're people. No worse than us, but also no better. We found the murderer. He's dead now.”

“We're talking about a serial killer, Alex!” Flint loses his cool. “What if they're all like that?”

“What if they aren't?” Alex yells back. He regrets it as the sound rings painfully inside his head. “Tell me how many times you've heard that same question asked about Native men, Flint.”

Flint opens his mouth, and closes it again. He paces the length of the room faster, giving the edge of the mattress a kick when he passes by.

Greg clears his throat. “Can we go back to the bomb? What the fuck is it?”

“It's not really a bomb,” Flint says. “It's a chemical agent, designed to eliminate people who have specific DNA strands.”

Alex can almost see the cogs turn in Greg's head. “How do you plan on dispersing it?”

“My team designed an atomizer,” Flint explains. He looks hesitant, like he knows he shouldn't be talking about that but he can't quite remember why. They've got through to him at least a little, Alex realizes. “I just need someone to build it.”

“Michael,” Alex explains for Greg's benefit. “He's a mechanic. And a genius.”

“So it's not a sanctioned mission,” Greg raises his eyebrows. “You and Dad have been working on this for...how long? Years? A Manes family mission to commit genocide?”

“We're doing what needs to be done,” Flint stops pacing and stands at attention.

“By fucking kidnapping Alex? Flint, did you stop even once to think about what you're doing?”

“They got into Alex's head. I'm doing this for his own good.”

Alex lets himself fall back until he's lying down on the mattress, prompting his brothers to look at him. His headache is getting worse, not better. “His words, in your mouth,” he tells Flint. “I expected that from Clay. Not from you. Have you forgotten everything, Flint? All of Granddad and Granny's history lessons?”

Flint looks away. Greg seems to seize the opportunity, and he stands up and grabs Flint's arm. “Let Alex go, Flint.”

“I can't.”

“Do you remember the last time we were all at the house together?” Greg lowers his voice, almost as if he doesn't want Alex to hear, but the room is small. “We promised we'd look out for him,” he nods toward Alex. “That we wouldn't let Dad get to him again.”

“He shouldn't have come back to Roswell,” Flint sets his chin stubbornly.

“Maybe not. But he's still our brother. We need to stop failing him.”

For the first time, Flint truly looks torn. “I'm trying to protect him from the aliens,” he says slowly.

“I think you and I both knows that's not who we need to protect him from,” Greg says.

Alex resists the urge to retort that he can protect himself−his current situation would tend to disagree, although he swears he'll free himself the minute his head stops swimming−and finds himself feeling oddly touched.

Flint looks down at his shoes.

“Let him go, Flint.”

“Fine,” Flint finally relents. He grabs a key from his pocket and tosses it to Alex, who scrambles to open the cuff around his wrist.

He eyes the gun in Greg waistband again, trying to figure out if it's worth making a go at it, but he decides to trust Greg. It's not like he can stand up, anyway.

“What now?” he asks.

“We should really get you to a hospital,” Greg says.

“No. I need to see that Michael's okay. And I need to stop their plan,” he waves at Flint, including Helena and his father as well. He gives Flint a defiant look. “I can't let you harm them.”

“I know,” Flint sighs. “Helena's gone to bring Guerin here.”

“Will you stand down?” Alex asks him. “Let me do what I have to do?”

“I won't try to harm you,” Flint holds his empty hands up in a surrendering gesture. “Or your family,” he adds reluctantly.

“Good.” Alex turns to Greg and holds a hand up to be helped into a standing position. “You have a phone? I'm going to need it.”

“Who put you in charge?” Greg asks, amused. “You have a concussion, Alex, you need medical care.”

“I know. I'm doing to call my doctor,” Alex answers. “After I call Michael, anyway. Anyone know where my leg is? We have a lot of work to do.”

Destiel Fic Rec List Part 2

Last Updated in October 2014. Posted in May 2020 for posterity.  Listed in no particular order - the total rec list will have ~250 fics. Header graphic used with permission.

This part of the list contains: 35 fics.

Other Destiel Rec Lists: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. [5]. [6]. [7].

—–

Kiss and Make it Better by annehiggins E | 9k

Both the forces of Heaven and Hell are after Dean and Castiel, but sometimes a kiss really does make it all better.

Sweet little loving and bonding fic.    

Retreat into Silence by annehiggins E | 16k | Fluff,  Angst,  Alt!Canon

Written for this prompt by deceptivechasm on the no longer exists LJ simon_says_dean: “Something very traumatic happens to Dean while he's with Sam (or Sam was away) which causes him to stop talking, *again*. Sam didn't know about the first time, and has to ask Bobby (or John) about what happened after his mum died.”

Sweet, adorable, and really schmoopy with added angst.    

I Know What You Like by JinxedAmbitions E | 4k | Pornstar AU, Bottom!Cas

Castiel agrees to help Gabriel out by being a production assistant at his porn company. However, when porn star Dean Winchester comes onto him on set, who is Cas to say no, especially when Dean seems to know all the things that turn Cas on most?

Hnnnghgggg.    

Consort by Valyria E | 139k [WIP] | Angst,  Medieval AU, bottom!dean

When King John of the West Saxons forms an alliance with a neighboring Christian kingdom, his eldest son Dean ends up playing a role he never expected.

Valyria's fabulous (currently WIP) Medieval AU is a must-read. Definitely a slow burn fic--includes very bad/painful sex, but with a great payoff.

What Was Lost Still Leaves Its Mark by shieldmaiden_of_celestial_intent E | 4k | Hot, Alt!Canon, Sub!Cas, Demon!Dean, Dom!Dean, Praise Kink

Demon Dean captures Castiel and tries to force him to play out a few of his fantasies. Cas soon finds himself willing because Dean still retains some of the good qualities of his human life. It starts out with dubious consent but consent is given later. There is a confrontation where Dean makes Cas strip. If you love Dean's panty kink this figures prominently. This is from Cas' POV and gets romantic and hopeful toward the end. This is canon compliant up to the season 9 finale. Castiel is powered down and has human drives like sex and sleep. Dean dominates him but does not hurt him.

I'm not usually a huge fan of subby!cas because it usually feels ooc to me, but this is. I'm. This is just... Yes. Really hot. Warning for dubious consent at the beginning.    

Words with Friends by betty days E | 22k | Human AU, Sub!Dean, Dom!Cas, BDSM |

"Dean Winchester is as straight as an arrow. He’s a lady’s man of epic proportions: the king of the one night stand, the messiah of the friends with benefits paradigm, the emperor of perpetual bachelorhood. Except, apparently, when it comes to his best friend, Castiel Novak. Wherein a longstanding acquaintanceship leads to friendship, then best friendship, then sexting, then dirty talk, then mutual masturbation, then, inevitably, fucking.

Smoking hot and full of feels.  

Little Motels by Lovely_Phrase E | 238k | Human AU

After John's death, Dean must travel to California to find his estranged brother and deliver the bad news. He takes Castiel with him, despite the newness of their relationship, and finds himself falling in love while staying in a series of little motels. What he discovers after arriving at Stanford is enough to destroy what's left of him, but Dean isn't willing to give up what they have together that easily.

Wow. This was RIDICULOUSLY long and I can't really believe I finished it. Regardless of the intimidating length (heh), it was a captivating story. Though it edged near soap opera levels of drama at times, the plot was sure, the characters grew and developed, and the writing was excellent. Very good read--highly recommended. Perhaps not for the sensitive (in regards to Drugs or abuse). Also not for john!stans.  

Dragon Healing for Pleasure and Profit by whelvenwings G | 6K | Fluff, Wizarding World AU, wizard!dean

When Cas, a zoologist and aspiring author, moves into the house next door, Dean can't help but go over and say hi. He hadn't reckoned, however, on Cas' determination to discover whatever it is that's living in the nearby woods. Dean should follow his instructions and send the guy away, and yet there's always something stopping him. After all, whoever said a muggle couldn't heal a dragon?

OMG AMAZING!! Wizarding World AUs are the best, and this muggle/magical person romance is super sweet.  

A Fine Frenzy by the_gabih E | 8k | A/b/O AU, omega!dean, alpha!cas

The rest of Dean's family have these romantic, almost fairytale stories of how they first met their mates. Dean? Not so much. But he's okay with that.

Super hot. Apparently an abandoned WIP, but it's mostly porn so that doesn't really matter.    

The Vessel by chellefic E | 7k | Alt!canon, body sharing

When his vessel goes missing, Castiel turns to Dean for help.

I love this fic! Vessel fics/sharing bodies is always a fun and sometimes sexy trope. This definitely delivers on both of those fronts.    

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know ❤ by leah k E | 20k | Fluff,  Alt!Canon

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

This fic was AMAZING. I want to wrap it up in a blanket and cuddle it. Maybe hump it or something. Idk, I'm flexible.    

Unusual by Yosei E | 12k | ABO AU, omega!dean

Now that Sam was in college half-way across the country, Dean needed a roommate in order to keep the spacious apartment (with his own room!) that he'd come to love and call home. With Sam's non-stop worrying, he finally convinces Dean to meet a possible roommate. Who knew that it would be the beautiful dark-winged archangel with a PhD., Castiel Novak?

Come a Little Undone by  FagurFiskur E | 3k | Fluff, Teacher AU, Bottom!Dean, Top!cas

"Well?" Cas prompted, turning his face to the side to look up at Dean. "Are you going to get started?    Something about the annoyed tone in Cas' voice, as if he were the one doing Dean a favor and not the other way around, pissed Dean off enough so that his better judgment took the backseat for just a moment. Unfortunately, that moment was long enough so that by the time it ended, Dean was already straddling Cas' thighs. Written for this prompt: Cas and Dean are teachers. It's the end of the year. Cas is stressed out with grading. How does Dean help?

Short, sweet, and hot. Pining!dean and massages yay.    

Sex 101 by betty days E | 50k | Hot, Dancer AU, Alt!Canon, Slow Burn

or: That Time Castiel Asked Dean to Teach Him How to Have Sex. "I want to have sex," Castiel announces suddenly. Dean chokes on his gulp of Baha Blast. Wherein Dean teaches Cas how to have sex, and Cas teaches Dean why to have sex. This fic is filled with music, literature, fluff, angst, smut, feels, and glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.

This AU will just suck you in. God, I love dancer!dean. It started out with some super hot vouyerism, and progressed to self discovery and more super hot things. Yay.    

Dean Winchester Is a Gay Virgin by betty days E | 79k | Hot,  Angst,  College AU, Mafia AU, Gay Panic

"Dean Winchester has a grand total of two big secrets: Secret #1 is that he’s a virgin. Secret #2 is that he’s gay. Dean Winchester is a college junior, a full-time mechanic, and a baseball superstar. He's so far in the closet, he can't find a way out. Then he meets Castiel Krushnic, the totally dreamy President of the LGBTQA Alliance at school, and finds out that Cas has some dark secrets of his own.

Wow. This is not what I thought I'd be getting into by the title. I was expecting a nice college AU and then there was unexpectedly the mafia, gritty angst, and family feels. What a ride. If this were a book, I would buy the fuck out of it.

Learning to Breathe by underneathitall E | 114k | Fluff,  Angst,  Hospital AU

Dean Winchester was just admitted to the Psychiatric Ward for minors at Lawrence Hospital after a car accident that killed his father but left him alive. When he finds out his roommate is a kid he used to go to school with, Castiel Novak, they start to make a hesitant friendship. At first, Dean's only focus is to get out as fast as he can without any attachments. Soon after that, he discovers that making friendships with other patients in the hospital and developing feelings for Cas might be what he really needed to get through this all along.

ahhsgahahhHhhh I loved this so much! It manages to be weirdly fluffy and feel-good even though it deals with majorly angsty stuff (mental ward, hello).    

Just Kisses by tiptoe39 E | 2k | Hot, PWP

Castiel's not ready for anything beyond kisses. So Dean just kisses him. Everywhere.

Hot and sweet.    

Tales from the Bunker of Domesticity by teaandjumpers M | 17k | Fluff,  Alt!Canon

Moments of domesticity between Dean and Cas (and occasionally Sam) in the Men of Letters bunker. Essentially, this is a story about the boys building a home together.

NnoOoOooOoOooo this was so domestic and lovely!    

The One With Dean's Anal Beads by triedunture E | 1k | | Hot,  PWP, bottom!dean

Complete PWP: anal beads, multiple, dry/painful orgasms, & dirty talk.

Nnnghhhh    

Landing by ladyzanra T | 3k Angst,  Canon!verse

“You think in terms of days, Castiel, but there are no days in Heaven,” Hannah tells him, before he leaves. This, Castiel understands, is the reason she does not stop him.

Fuck everything I'm in PAIN.  

Simple As That by ashwinchester4 M | 2k | Canon!verse, First Kiss, First Time

Dean Winchester is not very good at doing things in the proper order. That includes his relationship with Castiel. After Cas becomes human, things begin to change slowly, simply, easily. Until everything is different.

Gorgeous. Simple as that.  

Let Your Grace Guide You by angel_kink E | 24k | Alt!canon, wing!Kink,

After Castiel heals Dean at Stull, the hunter finds himself with unexpected abilities. He becomes determined to use his newfound powers, with Castiel’s guidance, to rescue Sam from the cage. In order to ensure that their venture to Hell is successful, they are forced to team up with Crowley, who has his own agenda regarding what’s locked up in the pits of Hell. During the course of their alliance, secrets come out, feelings bubble to the surface, and Dean finds himself once again facing an impossibly dangerous situation in an effort to save his brother.    

Napoleon in Rags by linzeestyle E | 42k | Alt!canon, fallen!castiel

“So,” Dean says eventually, breath ruffling Castiel’s hair. “You gonna tell us about this place? “I don’t have to,” Castiel says, pushing himself up on his elbows. “If I’m right, it’s nearby. Near something called Tucson.” Dean looks at him incredulously and Castiel scowls. “I was hiding an invaluable relic, not purchasing real estate. There's no such thing as a hunter retirement plan.

Amazing!! Canon compliant from 8x17 and diverges from there :D    

Kryptonite in Shades of Blue and Green by Annehiggins E | 12k | Superhero AU

Dean is the only member of the Winchester family without super-powers and has lived with the threat of being used against him all his life. When Dark Angel finally makes threat reality, Dean ends up trapping them together for two months. A lot can happen in two months. Written for this prompt on the spnkink_meme. Technically Dubcon.    

Chasing Cars ❤ by ratherbehere E | 45k | Fluff,  College AU, Stripper!dean, demisexuality, Slow Burn

After an awkward accidental encounter at a local strip club, Castiel discovers his college roommate, Dean, has a secret career as a stripper, and their relationship begins to change and a bond begins to form. They face the joys and challenges of life together and discover along the way how deeply they've come to care for each other.

THIS WAS AMAZING! So much UST, Demisexual Cas, which is my favorite, and a long, slow burn romance where they are best friends primarily. Love it.    

A Weekend Project by narrativeimperative E | 16k | Lawyer AU, a/b/o, Omega!cas, alpha!dean,

Castiel Novak is a lawyer for an important firm. He’s also, to his chagrin, an omega. With the help of heat suppressants and some serious denial, it’s not a problem ... until he meets Dean Winchester. And then it’s very definitely a problem.

Literally the best.    

Viva by crowleyo E | 38k | AU, Stripper!Dean, doctor!cas, accidental marriagE |

Dr. Castiel Novak swears he will never let his sister talk him into a surprise trip again. Now he has just woken up in Las Vegas with a hangover, an unknown ring on his finger and a beautiful man next to him. It gets even better, though, when Castiel's last memory from the night before is seeing this man up on a stage in a skimpy cowboy outfit. Now, Castiel has to learn to live a cliche.  

Hush by Braceyourself & dresden E | 105k | College AU

He'd heard all he needed to know about Dr. Novak, really. Straight-laced academic, prioritizes punctuality, favours the smartest students; it doesn't bode well for Dean.

Wow, so great! Dommy!Cas, teacher/student AU. There is rape in it, but not between Cas and Dean.    

The Seraph by Hywar E | 135k | Creature AU, Dub!con, Dom!cas, Sub!dean

Ever since the seraph were discovered, there's been one rule society has had to adapt to: stay out of open water. Powerful, determined and aggressive, the octopus-human creatures are in a league of their own and have no qualms with taking what they want and attacking what they don't. Now, children learn to swim in man-made lakes and beaches are deserted save for researches and the fool-hearted. Dean Winchester is neither of those things. But a hunt has brought him and Sam, his brother, to one of the many abandoned beaches, where Dean is left with no choice but to take refuge in the water. He should be safe, he thinks, he doesn't go too deep - just deep enough to hide himself and to deter his pursuer. He forgot just how fast the damn things could be, and how determined they were once they had their eyes on something.

AMAZING. Love love love! Dominant!Cas who just wants to take care of his willful, human mate. Also tentacle sex. Be warned for dubious consent (because Cas is very convinced he's doing what Dean wants/needs but Dean is not so sure).    

Contact by clotpoleofthelord E | 16k | Alien AU, Tentacles

When aliens land on Earth the first time, Dean ignores it. When they land a second time, he's a little curious. When the third landing happens in his back yard, his life gets very complicated, very fast.

Taking Wing by riseofthefallenone E | 44k

Dean frowns around the cave, his head spinning as he tries to make sense of what he’s seeing with his eyes and his echoes. The smell doesn’t hit him until he’s already staggered to his feet, claws clicking on the stone floor. It’s the scent of another bat; different than any kind he’s smelled before. It’s not exactly unpleasant, but it does strike home a realization that turns his stomach inside out. This place belongs to another bat and Dean has pretty much just basically invaded their home.

This is adorable. I didnt know I could get so attached to two gay anthropomorphic bat people.   

Rain by The MigratoryLane E | 2k | | Hot,  Canon!verse, PWP

The fact that Dean Winchester was a strikingly handsome man had not eluded him. But the low burn of arousal that now flowed through his veins was entirely foreign not a month ago. Where as an angel the mere sight of Dean’s neck elicited no greater response, now Castiel found that he wanted nothing more than to trace his lips across the stubbled flesh beneath his jaw—to lick and kiss and suck at it until Dean moaned with the sensation.

CASTURBATION!!    

Cheers, Angel Eyes by wannaliveindeansdimples E | 20k | AU, bartender Dean, Cop Castiel

Dean Winchester is a bartender. He's noticed a new semi-regular and even given him a nickname. Pretty soon he and "Angel Eyes" become friends. Dean wants more, but is secretive, awkward Castiel ready to give it?

As the author's tags say, no matter the universe or circumstance they always find each other and act all schmoopy.    

A Little Slice of heaven by authocracy E | 5k | AU, bottom!cas, wing!Kink

Welcome to A Little Slice of Heaven, where angels stationed on Earth can come, relax, and enjoy themselves. Dance your cares away at our nightclub, or treat yourself to our world-class spa treatments with staff specially trained in the art of wing maintenance. Let our experts turn your stress into pure pleasure. The War is over, and Castiel finds himself bored and lonely in Heaven. He runs into Gabriel, who remembers him from the battlefield and offers to give him a tour of the best places on Earth. The archangel introduces him to his friend Dean, a masseur with magic hands. Castiel, a little self-conscious and shy, doesn't know what Dean means by "extra services" but is eager to spend extra time with him regardless.

Long Time Coming by authocracy E | 13k | Hot, genderswap au

For the prompt: Okay, so in my head, girl!Dean likes her anonymous hookups, likes her slutty biker look and her oversized flannel shirts and skinny jeans. Granted, she's getting a little old for the club scene, but she's always been more of a bar girl. And maybe Sam kind of despairs of her because he's all "RESPECT YOUR BODY AND YOUR MIND DEAN(NA?)" but Dean's never really bought any of that - she likes feeling close to people, and it's hard to with her lifestyle. Plus, there's something powerful about being hot enough to attract as many guys as she does. Thing is, she's not that easy to get off. It takes her time and effort when she's on her own, let alone when there's some guy expecting things of her. And let's be real, a lot of guys in the kind of places she goes to don't really know how to get a girl off. Maybe she's never even come during sex with a guy. Enter Cas.

I love my genderswap fics, and this one is um... really hot.    

Okay so I mentioned it in the tags but I kinda wanna talk about my experiences with So/uth Pa/rk. I say this as a cis, gay, non-Jewish man. I also say this as someone who used to actually engage with the forums on the main site. I also say this as someone who played. both the two major video game RPGs. So I am speaking not from reaction to other people’s reactions but from my own personal knowledge. This post is incredibly long so it’s under a read more. In it I provide what I believe are the actual effects of South Park on its viewership but I need to stress that I think it’s the wrong energy to blame parents for letting their children watch the show.

Don’t blame the parents, blame the show.

That show is genuinely horrible. I’ve seen a lot of people questioning how anyone could let children watch it - and to that I say you’re not adding anything to the conversation by shaming parents for letting their children watch that show. 

My own parents weren’t even out of their twenties when I watched the show, and many other parents grew up with the show as a non-issue. Young parents make mistakes.

At the time it came out and its early years only extremely vigilant parents realized how problematic the show was and the news was hard to spread without social media. At best you could inform your parent friends and hope they listened.

The show’s main characters are children, many parents found/find it hard to believe that a show with children as the main characters could be bad for those children. If the show were exactly the same but the children were college-aged then it would be another raunchy show they could easily see is not meant for their kids.

There’s a good portion of children who watched the show that weren’t actually allowed to watch it because their parents weren’t as tech savvy as them and therefore didn’t know about pirating/streaming until it was mainstream. We who grew up with YouTube knew you could put in [show] episode 1 part 1 and start watching. (this is gonna be another point later btw)

I know that it’s hard for you guys to even know all the reasons it’s problematic because you all barely scratch the surface of it’s problems. But before we even get into the meat of its problems (Science Denial, Homophobia, Transphobia, Ableism, Anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, etc.) we have to look at the very premise of the show.

The main characters begin in fourth grade. Fourth Grade. There’s a phenomena in our culture where we believe that children saying stupid stuff is harmless, and we forget that when children hear children speak - even animated children - they are hearing their peers. And peers learn from each other. This is why the show is so insidious, because it makes it easier for children to digest the messages.

Another thing that’s very important to note is that - while it’s labelled satire, every single joke is played straight, and the straight man character (usually either S or Ky) are ridiculed by the culture they’re surrounded in. Don’t believe me? Think I’m over-exaggerating? Think about the election episode, where they had to pick between a literal piece of shit or a douche. Our Straightmen were constantly saying how ridiculous the situation was, but everyone around them was telling them they were the ones who were stupid for not particpating in the election until they eventually break and submit to the absurdity. This is a light example, but it’s the typical formula. If they aren’t actively participating in the absurdity around them, they’re ridiculed until they break. What this tells the audience isn’t that the people who were particpating were stupid, but that they were right.

Now that we’ve looked at the show premise, let’s get into the details. A note: This is just what I remember from approximately age 5-18, the latter years I’d been turned off from it slowly so I wasn’t as engaged but it was not any better then. Since this is just what I can remember without looking through episodes or looking up articles, this is going to be a small sampling of things that stuck with me. Be assured, there was much, much, much more.

Science Denial and its effects on the viewers.

This is the lightest thing I can recall, and probably going to be the smallest section as it’s mostly centered around their stand-in for global warming, a cryptid figure called M/an/Be/ar/P/ig. Al G/ore was painted as a desperate, raving lunatic for believing in the phenomena, and was even implied to be making it up by having him dress up as the cryptid. I don’t have to explain why this is wrong, but we need to look at the effect this had.

On the one hand it made fans think that Global Warming (as it’s something A.G. believed in) was a hoax. Furthermore, it made them believe that anyone who believed in it was telling lies, which was overwhelmingly the most progressive people. A direct effect of these jokes (which they apologized for but never stopped propagating btw, MBP was still a joke when I stopped watching) was that progressives were seen as over-dramatic and stupid.

Now, I am not saying people watched these shows and immediately thought “oh wow, how fucking stupid of A.G. I don’t believe in climate change anymore.” It’s more like this: “Oh haha, S thinks A.G. is annoying, I like S so I agree, A.G. is annoying. You know, A.G. is kinda annoying with all that global warming, maybe there’s something to him being over-dramatic? Gosh why can’t these progressives see that it’s not that big of a deal. If they trust A.G. then they MUST be blowing other things out of proportion.” That’s the thought processes it trains its viewers to have.

LGBT+ Characters

Okay so there’s actually a lot of things that go into the Homophobia of S/P. And it goes back to the very beginning of the show, and is both explicit and implicit. There is a huge problem with these, but the main problem isn’t so much that they exist, but the show’s attitude towards their own ‘jokes’ and the ways in which fans suck up that thought process.

Before I get into this, there were some things that I need to say in favor of the show - not because I think the show deserve praise, but because there were some things that I latched onto and showed a surprising nuance. There’s like one thing, really but it is, of course, attached to something that’s a much larger issue within the show, so while it is a small glimmer, it’s in no way outshining any of the problems in the show.

For a while, the teacher underwent gender reassignment when he (the teacher currently identifies as male from my last interaction with the show) got breast implants and presumably bottom surgery (I vaguely remember a surgery but honestly that could be an invention) he was in a gay relationship. His then boyfriend had a very heartfelt and difficult conversation about how he still cared about him and how he’ll never hate him for being the woman that he wanted to be, but there was no way that he could pursue a relationship with him. I thought that this was a very mature depiction of a very difficult situation that is never really talked about. However, as I implied earlier, this is attached to a larger issue. Before any of you start having second thoughts about your ideas about S/P’s portrayal of gay and trans people, immediately after getting broken up with the teacher became violently homophobic as a backlash, I vaguely recall a group being formed.

Our main examples of LGBT individuals in the show are these big four (five?):

The afforementioned teacher

The teacher’s boyfriend, who wears leather gear at school and can’t stop talking kink even in front of the child characters

A character called B/ig G/ay A/l who is just as stereotypical as his name implies.

T/weak and C/raig, who are classmates of the focal characters. There’s a lot of reasons this is problematic, none of them being the age of those involved in the relationship - but the portrayal of them is hugely problematic.

Since I’ve already touched on the teacher, we’ll get into them first. When he was introduced, he was a sort of ambiguously gay character who was very bitchy and spoke with a slight lisp that eventually became a canon gay character with his relationship with the Kink Character. He was violently hateful towards his class, verbally abusing them all the time and often particpating in bullying children. Furthermore he’s seen as incompetent. This is problematic not because he’s a gay man doing this (though it’s not great either) but because this taught children that teachers don’t care about them and that they shouldn’t listen to them because they don’t know what they’re talking about anyways. This goes into their anti-intellectual stance mentioned earlier. It enforces the idea that education systems are useless, not because of the institutional problems they have with racism, but because of the incompetence of the system.

Going back to the point of this, still with the same character, let’s further explore the problems they had when the teacher had an arc as a trans woman. Honestly, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but the show made a point to let you know that the other characters were uncomfortable when Mr. G became Ms. G. The most damning thing about this, however, is the fact that Mr. G detransitioned bc he realized he wasn’t a straight woman, just a gay man. I think this is problematic because it frames transitioning as a sexual strategy. I don’t think I have to go into detail on why that’s problematic. And while this isn’t actually a tie into how horrible their handling of this character is, it should be noted that he’s the character that went on to be their T/rump stand-in.

The next character is the Kink Man.

God, the character’s personality isn’t actually all that bad. He’s loving and caring and empathetic and actually usually on the right side of topics, but. He doesn’t separate his kink from his personal life. He’s always strutting around in leather-daddy gear and has a lisp. His name is literally Mr. S/lave. There was an episode where he shoved a hamster in his ass. To viewers, he represents the dirty gays that keep shoving their sex-life down their throats - and this view is never, ever, ever subverted, so since the show never makes fun of people for having that view it reinforces that idea in their minds.

Honestly the least problematic character of the LGBT characters that I mentioned was BGA. He’s still a stereotype, yeah, he has a gay dog and is super flamboyant and constantly talks about how proud he is but honestly that’s not really all that bad. I can’t directly recall anything bad about him except that he’s incredibly flamboyant, speaks with a lisp, and loves to call things he owns “BGA’s Big Gay [noun].” Relatable. That doesn’t mean there was nothing problematic, it just doesn’t immediately come to me.

Now, for the next most problematic “representation” in the show. First, T&C showed no signs of actually being gay before. I do recall them both being my favorite characters before they became a couple, however. T is a coffee addict which has some suspect aspects we’ll get into later, and C used to flip everyone off. This was why they were my favorites. They became gay literally when fangirls started shipping them in the show. I’m sure there was an actual fandom movement, but their getting together was incredibly forced - that was part of the joke btw, that gay shipping is always forced. What’s horrible about this is that this was in an episode about ya/oi.

Now, let’s try to dissect this issue. First off, what this tells viewers is that being gay was not a natural part of who they were, but was an active choice (if you’re being kind) or something society forced on them (if you’re not.) The two were actively fighting with the narrative that they were gay and in a relationship. I think their actual agreement for being boyfriends was more of a mutual public display than an actual relationship, but it’s a fuzzy memory because that whole episode felt like a fever dream.

What’s worse about this, is that the show actually displayed ya/oi depictions of these children within the show. Nothing NSFW, but clearly sexually charged situations were definitely shown. At the time, they were 5th graders. 9/10 year olds for those not in the states. This emboldened actual CT shippers “If the show could do it, then so can I” was the general mentality on the forums I was on. So we can talk on pedophilia to reasons why this show is awful.

And those are just the named recurring characters. Another commonly recurring character is a prostitute with a deep voice who is very sloppy looking that, from my recollection, is implied to be a transwoman. This might have just been a conclusion I drew when I was young however - but even that is reason to be critical of the character, that such a conclusion could even be drawn means it might have played a factor in the character’s inception.

They also “Solved Overpopulation” with a gay orgy. I don’t have the language to define why this sat so wrong with me, but I remember being very deeply hurt by it. I think it has something to do with the idea that homosexuality is a choice and that it should only be accepted because of the potential benefits it has for population control.

Islamophobia and Racism

Okay so I’m just gonna come out the gate by saying that they fought hard to depict the prophet Mohammad. Like, hard. And they did it twice - one time went almost unnoticed but the second had a huge backlash from the Islamic people. For those who aren’t aware, it’s sacrilege to depict Mohammad. It’s like desecrating a church, maybe worse - I really have no frame of reference for how bad it’s viewed, but however bad it is, it still boils down to being a strict taboo that S/P broke not once, but twice.

Now, as I keep reminding, my memory gets hazy for many things, especially things I wasn’t aware of being insensitive early on. I have vague memories of terrorists being depicted in traditional Sikh garb, and similar instances of directly relating Islam with terrorism. I don’t recall the show ever making fun of anyone for relating Muslims with terrorism, for all those fans out there saying they make fun of everyone.

There was an episode where the characters wore blackface. There’s a black character literally named t/oken b/lack. Sure, that could be satire and maybe even be defended if they subverted the trope, however it should be noted he’s not the only black character in the show! There was an episode where there was a child adopted from Africa whose name escapes me - he was emaciated and devoured food at an alarming rate and generally was a nuisance if I remember correctly.

There was an instance where one of the main character’s father was on Wheel of Fortune. The category was people who annoy you. the letters on the board were ‘N_ggers.’ You know where this is going, the father said the N-word. The word was really naggers, but the rest of the episode was a sympathetic journey with him dealing with being ostracized. He became known as an ‘n-word guy’ which was treated as a worse term within the universe. I say this because a law was passed where the phrase was outlawed and they said you had to have a space of at least 5 words between ‘n-word’ and ‘guy’. Also, the n-word was said multiple times by a number of white characters. Now, I know the argument people make about this episode. They say that we were supposed to find the scanario ridiculous, but the issue I take with it is more that we’re led to feel sympathetic to racists who’ve had their lives ruined for being racist. That’s the issue with South Park’s brand of ‘satire’. It satirizes one issue, but doesn’t touch on the problematic things used to support that satire.

Almost every single Mexican character is a stereotype of some sort. Either a laborer who can barely speak English, a gangbanger, or some other stereotype. There was an episode where they had C’s hand become a famous Latina popstar by singing about Mexican Food themed songs, like the actual songs ‘T/aco F/lavored K/isses’ and ‘T/aco B/urrito’. The hand’s name was Jennifer Lopez, I don’t know of these songs are direct parodies bc I’ve only heard Jenny From the Block.

And while S/P tends to stay away from very direct anti-black jokes, they don’t shy away from other races. There’s an asian character whose business is called ‘c/ity wok’, but he always pronounces it ‘shitty’ because the joke here is ‘oh haha asians have funny accents’ and literally nothing else. I honestly believe that asians receive the WORST treatment on S/P when it comes to facing racism, but I’m not qualified to make that claim. Other examples of anti-asian racism: There was an pokemon episode where they said that Japan was using anime to indoctrinate youth, they literally had the kids operate fighter jets to make an attack on the U.S. What’s worse about this, is that whenever the Japanese execs were questioned about this, every time, they dropped their pants to show how small their penises were and how they should be pitied for it. Another instance, I very strongly remember a depiction of asian characters as being lemon yellow with eyes like this: \ /. There was an episode where they had Asians violently murder whales with glee. They lean into anti-asian racism so much harder than any other form of racism - the only thing they’re worse about is their antisemitism, which will get its own section later.

Antisemitism

God there’s so much. Jew Gold, nazi imagery, the entirety of c/a/r/t/m/a/n as a character and there are so many posts on this website by people much more qualified than me to delve into what exactly is wrong with this and the depictions of it, so I’m mostly just going to catalog what comes to mind and then speak about the actual factual instances of S/P inspired antisemitism I’ve witnessed and been party to.

There was an episode devoted to Jewish people having a secret bit of gold around their necks. This was proven true in the universe when Ky gave up his ‘J*w Gold’ to C.

Ky’s mom is such an overbearing harpy who bulldozes over everyone, this was later explained as her having Jersey-Blood (yes this was a Jersey Shore joke) but before that it was completely because she was a proud Jewish woman.

Ky’s father is depicted as weak-willed and piddling. He always wears a yarmulke no matter the situation.

Ky is often depicted as being whiny and non-commital

OF ALL THE CHARACTERS, KY IS THE ONE WHO IS DEPICTED AS A HYPOCRITE THE MOST

Ky’s cousin with the same name is depicted as in poor health, complains about everything, whines about things not being fair bc they don’t go his way, and has caricatured Jewish features

As mentioned above, there are hosts of Nazi imagery associated with C

C has said every Jewish slur I have ever heard. In fact he introduced me to the concept of antisemitism

Ky, in a Christmas episode, is depicted as wishing he could celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah is depicted as a sort of consolation prize that’s Not As Good.

Ky’s father was an internet troll, and the trolls were. literal trolls. with certain features that are not great.

The following image is the Prophet Moses:

And there’s more and more and more. I will not accept anyone saying that this is just jokes because I know firsthand how insidious their treatment of Jewish people is because this show literally made me think it was okay to engage in Antisemitism. I made greedy jokes, like saying a got J**ed when i was screwed over, or that someone who was being greedy was being a J*w. I am not proud of this, and I think I grew out of it relatively quickly as I dropped that language in middle school.

But not everyone did. Even some of my closest friends were still saying they got J**ed when we were graduating high school. There were no Jewish people at my school, so there was no humanizing face for the Jewish people for us. Thank god for the Nanny or who knows what kind of person I’d be now. There were people even worse than me, I should mention. There was one person in my school who literally used J*w as a stand-in for loser because of this show. This show was the only interaction with the Jewish faith that most of my classmates ever had, and the same is true of many rural towns in America who have only Protestant populations.

Fatphobia

All the most unlikeable characters are fat. C. Ky’s mom. The gun-toting republican. And there are other specific episodes where they equate fatness to not being healthy. In their episode partnered with WoW (don’t forget that happened, y’all) the main antagonist was depicted as a no-life having loser and he was, surprise, fat. This show draws a very direct line between being fat and being unlikeable.

Sexism

God, the portrayal of women is so horrible, literally my only entry here is going to be one single link:

Note all the other isms depicted in this btw.

Substance Abuse

The prostitute mentioned in the LGBT section would wander into scenes screaming about how she wanted crack. There was an episode where they created a league of basketball players who were comprised entirely of ‘crack babies.’ I’m being generous by not putting that in the racism section because most of the babies were BIPOC which says something about the kind of people that M/att and T/rey think are addicts.

The character T/owelie is supposed to show an addict, but his addiction is literally just weed which means they’re claiming weed is addictive.

I can’t even begin to describe the show’s relationship to alcohol. As a child of an alcoholic, I can say that it’s not fucking cute that they made S’s dad a violent drunk. It’s genuinely scary to see your parent fly into a rage because of their alcoholism and them reducing it to a joke was, I think, one of the points where the ‘it’s just a joke’ mentality started to break for me personally. 

While we’re on the subject of parents, C’s mom was literally a crack addict who was also a full service sex worker. The correlation is not sympathetic in the slightest. And even worse was Ke’s parents. They were depicted as abusive, neglectful, drug-addicted rednecks. This was sometimes played to make you sympathize with Ke, and it worked because even now I can hardly think of how Ke himself was problematic rather than the situations he was in. (He’s the one who gets gruesomely murdered every episode) I don’t know if this is because of selective memory, if he was genuinely just the least problematic in the show, or if I’m waxing nostalgic for the show. Regardless, as I said, his situation was mostly played for sympathy. However, it was also played for jokes almost as often.

Pedophilia

The children are put in sexual situations a nonzero amount of times, they make priest molestation jokes, and they made jokes about MJ.

Slurs

Yeah they said them a lot. There was the aforementioned N-Word Guy episode, but there was also an episode that thinly mirrored immigrants coming to America for work and the people (time-travelers) were called ‘Goobacks’. I think the word ch*nk was used a nonzero amount of times, C used every slur for Jewish people in the book. None of these were censored by the show, any censoring was done by networks.

Why make this post?

Because I know people know this show is garbage, but I think it’s important that people know why it’s garbage with specific and nonspecific instances of why the show was problematic.

Learning New Things About Ourselves

 Observations, thoughts, and screenshots! 

(under the cut, because spoilers and also LONG)

Patton: “Take it from me. That’s not the way to work out your feelings.” Oof, you really can see Patton’s growth in this episode, he’s so much more aware of himself now. 

Patton: *gasp* Logan!!!!

“It’s Patton!”

Oh my goodness, he’s so excited to see him, Logan, acknowledge him, he’s so happy to see you. 

Logan and Roman are acting like they haven’t even made the progress they have recently, that’s how you really know something is off with Thomas. 

Thomas: Uh, guys? *makes the face*

Patton: “*gasp* I know that face!”

“My child is returning”

Virgil: Thomas you have got to do something about this!  Thomas: But this is what they always do. Right? Oof, Thomas, even if so, that’s not good. You need to help them solve their issues, or there’s never going to be any peace around. 

Patton is so aggressive in his love for Virgil, it’s so cute. And AWWWWW, Virgil gave Patton a dad themed nickname! That’s so precious, my moxiety loving heart is so happy right now! 

AAAAAH, just look at them, they’re best friends and I love it so much. 

(also mood with the arm thing, Thomas)

Virgil’s just all Roman, you’re an insecure moron, Logan, you’re an inconsiderate jerk, can you both just COOL it now? I do love that now, Virgil acts much more often as the “common sense we need,” like, lately he’s been an identifier of a lot of the problems and now that he’s actually listened to, it makes things go way smoother. 

Roman: “I’m not insecure!” Yes sweetie, yes you are.

R&L: I’M THE MOST IMPORTANT SIDE HERE! Everyone’s faces omg:

Virgil: “All I’m saying is you both suck at what you do and I’m tired of having to keep lighting fires under your butts.” 

Also, typical, Roman is trying to defend himself, Logan took Virgil way too literally, and Virgil is making gay jokes until Patton calms them all down. 

Patton, my hero, knowing how to get each of them to shut up, I am so using that in future fics. 

They all zero in so quickly on what Patton gives them:

(Also look at Patton’s face, this is like, a rare moment when he shows off how powerful he actually is. Not just as a strong influencer in Thomas’s personality, but like, he knows them all so well. He knows how they all tick, he knows their feelings better than they do, and he knows exactly how to calm each of them down. He probably also knows exactly how to work each of them up, too, but he doesn’t because he’s Good. This just...it makes me think of human aus where Patton is somehow able to get the whole school to listen to him or retaliates against bullies, and I love it.) 

Happy, distracted bois.

Roman the artist, you’re doing amazing sweetie, wow.

Patton figuring all this out is my jam, tbh. 

You can see the gears turning in his head, and then he has that AhHa! moment, and he doesn’t have the answers, but he knows that’s okay, they just need to do some soul searching to find out what the question is. 

And the others don’t get what he means, but LOGAN, the smart one, he realizes! He understands, and he comes SO close to saying “Patton, you’re a genius!” that it physically hurt me. (I think Logan is afraid, in that moment, but I’ll leave that analysis for another post) 

Logan is so dang proud of himself for that hat. 

Thomas: How did I used to learn things? Logan: Textbooks. Roman and Virgil: Mistakes. Patton: Puppets!!!  I do find it telling that Virgil and Roman both claimed mistakes as Thomas’s biggest source of learning. It not only highlights their tendency to work together on things such as acting and creating, but also how much they both think about their own pasts...I think it’s safe to say that the two of them are more introspective than Patton and Logan. Patton has learned to be more introspective and aware of himself with time, but for both Roman AND Virgil, that constant inner thought process is at the core of their function. No wonder they gave the same answer to that question. 

Virgil immediately jumping to Patton’s defense, “OR we could hear him out! He’s already made ONE valid point today.” I love how protective Virgil is of Patton, and again, I’ll probably go deeper on this in another post. 

I like how this keeps the canon from the other shapeshifting video, that Virgil has a harder time shapeshifting than the others. I also love how he immediately was like “Nope, nope, I can’t pull this off this was dumb” until Thomas reassures him. 

Patton: “You know what happens when you assume! You make an AS out of SU and ME!”  Patton has the dirtiest sense of humor out of all of them and NO ONE shall convince me otherwise. 

Logan throwing that flashcard, yikes.  

So much anger, but also so much instant regret.

Honestly, I think he’s really scared of himself right here, and it’s no wonder that he offered to leave before he could make things worse. But then when Patton refuses to let him leave again (he remembers what happened last time), he seems so surprised, as though he hadn’t expected Patton to care about his opinion enough to ask him to stay. 

Patton is so on the right track here, jumping STRAIGHT to talking about feelings, even though the others don’t like that idea, he insists, knowing that it’s the only thing that will really help them. 

When Thomas expresses that he feels unworthy of feeling bad, Patton shoots that down, knowing it to be unhealthy. I also feel like the line “It’s not your feelings job to make sense,” isn’t just about emotions, it’s about him too. He knows he’s silly, he knows he doesn’t always make sense (especially the way Logan wants him to), but he also knows his worth as a part of Thomas. And he’s going to do his job, dang it. 

I like how Virgil calls out both Logan AND Roman equally in this, both telling Logan to cool it with the deadlines, but also agreeing that Roman hasn’t been performing adequately. I also like how Virgil isn’t right throughout the WHOLE video too, I mean, he’s wrong right here, trying to fix the issue he sees on the surface without first examining the underlying emotions, because that makes him, Anxiety, uncomfortable. 

When Logan insists that no one is listening to him, Thomas then says, alright, I’ll hear you out. What should we do? 

I love the way that Patton, yet again, was the one able to guide Thomas to the question he needed: Am I doing the right thing with my life?

Logan: “If you asked me, I could list several factors that could be contributing to your doubts.” *looks around the room* 

I love that Virgil finally is just like “woah, Logan, what are some of those things?” He knows that’s what Logan wants, and that he’s not going to continue until he hears that verbal validation. 

Virgil the Count. 

“NO ONE TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY!” “Four. Four uncomfortable characters. In this room.” 

Logan is very concerned about Thomas’s image (and also his own) and you can TELL he’s been thinking about this for some time, but been holding it back because, despite how concerned he is, the others seem happy. So he’s held in what he thinks. But he can’t do that any longer. 

“You eat some jam, accidentally tell a few puns and now you’re all sensitive about not being taken seriously?” “I’M NOT A JOKE!” Someone hug him.  He even flat out SAYS that right now, he’s not being listened to. “I can’t be thought of as such, because there will be times in which I must be heeded, and given our current circumstances, I clearly haven’t been.”

Virgil validating Logan’s opinions even as he expresses his disagreement. 

Virgil: “Don’t start with me Thomas. I have plenty of hate to go around.”  Patton: “Oh very funny Virgil, you cute little muffin. Thomas, you know he doesn’t mean it. Now––”  After this, you can see Virgil’s puppet reel back a little, and it’s a testament to how good the puppeteer is because you can tell that that statement...actually hurt him a little. Sure, maybe he won’t HATE Thomas, but he does sometimes still use the scare tactics to make his point, and in some ways, Patton undermined his point by brushing off his tactics. 

Virgil and Roman having a snark off, I am living.  Roman also realizing when he’s gone too far and admitting his flaws, I am so living.

Roman: I do feel bad.  Virgil: Well then maybe you should say you’re sorry.  Roman: You’re right.  Virgil: Oh, really?  He was so surprised when Roman admitted he was right, and even though he thought that apology was for him and it turned out to be for Logan, I think it’s telling that Virgil is still sometimes surprised when Roman admits that his point was good. 

Roman apologizing is so sweet.  “I still feel bad.” Patton knowing that if he lets Roman express himself in a way he’s comfortable, ah, I just love this whole sequence. 

Roman calling Logan and the others his loved ones <3 

The look Logan gives Patton when Patton starts sing/rapping about how he used to hide his feelings:

Aaaaaaa my heart look at him. 

Patton: “Everybody gets sad, even dads who have people to care for,”  Patton cares so much for the others my heart is so full. 

Virgil participating in the song happily and voluntarily, so much growth since Christmas!!!

Virgil: “I thought that I could take it, all the hate would just be shaken, but when you lo– CARE for someone, not much hurts more than their scorn. I also felt bad.”  Roman: “Oh, come now–”  I just, love everything about this. Virgil’s lines, him almost saying love, but changing it last second, Roman literally reaching out to him, it’s just all so perfect <3. 

The music shifting into minor when Logan interrupts with his frustration, and YES, his and Thomas’s duet is fabulous. I get major Lin Manuel Miranda vibes from their section. (thank you @digitally-analog for the transcription.)  Thomas: This just serves as testament to the fact you have a temperament which is fine, you just haven’t accepted it. If you let them finish they’d get to the– Logan: This just serves as testament to the fact that to me, you’re negligent which is fine, it just works to your detriment. You not letting me finish is just proving my– 

Virgil: “HEY! ... You’re lost. It’s okay. I was lost once too,”  Virgil pulling through for them, YES, and I love how he’s able to just so clearly let the others know what they’re feeling sometimes. “You’re lost,” it reminds me of when in Patton’s room, he said “You’re afraid.” Patton may be most emotions, but those kinds of emotions are ones that Virgil is very familiar with, and ones he can spot easily in his friends, and ones he doesn’t want to see them go through the way he had to.

Virgil: No one wants to be a joke, T, R & P: but a life without jokes is incomplete! 

Roman’s bits, omg. 

Thomas: It’s alright, Princey, honestly it didn’t hurt me, it’s clear you’re the one who’s hurting.  Roman: Huh?  I just, someone take both him AND Logan to therapy, they are so emotionally unaware. 

Virgil: “You feel low.”  Coming through again with that problem identifying. 

P&V: “We embrace you,”  Roman: “That’s rich.”  Virgil (gently): “No one hates you.”  I think it’s so important that this line comes from him, because of all the sides, Roman probably feels like Virgil has the most justification to hate him, but here his is quietly reassuring him. 

Roman and Logan FINALLY talking to each other, THANK YOU 

And Logan realizing that the song was actually part of the conversation, and not random like he thought, you go you silly nerd, you’re getting it! Logic is always there, even in the methods that he doesn’t necessarily understand, and that the silliness and dramatics that Patton and Roman love can still be intelligent. 

“Why did I never question people’s belittling views on what I do?”  THERE IT IS THOMAS YOU GOT IT!

Nice DHMIS reference. 

Logan and Roman making up aaaaaah yay. Thomas and Virgil are so proud! 

Virgil telling Patton how he feels, but trying so hard to do it in a way that won’t hurt Patton’s feelings. I’m so proud of him. 

I’m so proud of ALL of them, they did so good. Thomas did good. Character Thomas and real Thomas, this video was amazing, and I loved it. That’s it for this post, but there will be more to come!  –Taylor <3

Scrambled Thoughts

Pairings: Romantic Logince, Sibling Analogical

Word Count: 2228 (for Chapter 5), 12714 in total

(Previous) (First)

Summary: Roman was not a rebel by any means. Roman was not a fan of breaking rules. Sure, he bent some from time to time, but never done anything blatantly wrong, that was not in service to his passions. Yet, despite the protests his best friend and his consciousness, he picks up two dozen eggs and goes to vandalize. Now, Roman has to avoid suspension, make amends with Virgil, alleviate the concern of Patton, and not fall in love with his enemy Logan.

Triggers: Bullying, Violence, Vandalism, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Mentions of Racism, Classism

Authors Note: And we are done. Thank you so much to everyone who has read this, I am so very proud of it. I have two announcements for this. #1. I was thinking about getting Roman and Logan's first kiss commissioned by someone, because I really like the way I wrote that. So if you do art or can recommend me someone, then go ahead and comment or message me on here. #2. I have the skeleton of an epilogue for this. It ends the fic on more of a humorous note and finally resolves the eggs, so let me know if you want that. This journey is at it's close.

(This fic was inspired by a dream @misplaced-my-notes had, thank you).

Taglist (for everyone who seemed interested): @misplaced-my-notes, @jaszczurkaaa, @an-atypical, @jughead-is-canonically-aroace, @mystrangedarkson

(Read on AO3)

“Hey.”

Roman felt a harsh kick on the back of his shin. “Ouch,” He responded, turning around to see his former (?) nemesis standing over him, crossing his arms with a small smirk on his face, “What exactly was that for?”

Virgil shrugged, but offered a hand to help Roman up from drilling the bottom section of the flat. “I just need to talk to you,”

Roman frowned at this omission, “What exactly would we need to talk about, no offense,”

Virgil groaned, looked around the auditorium, quickly snapping his head from side to side, then he grabbed Roman by the bicep and pulled him out of the stage area to the spare woods shop and tools room.

“Look, I just wanted to get some things straight with you, okay?

“Impossible, I am a gay as a warm spring day!” Roman flourished, half-bowing. Virgil pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose, muttering something under his breath.

“That is obviously not what I meant,”

“What do you need, we are still in class, y’know,” Roman frowned, now getting concerned. He had been watching the anxious kid for about a month now, and he never seemed to go out of his way to talk to anyone. No matter what, he was always recluse and a bit cold, nevertheless, he went out of his way to talk to Roman, which means it must be important.

“Do you know what day it is?”

Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Seriously genius, you couldn’t just look on your phone to see it is Wed-”

“No no, you misunderstand, the date,” Virgil waved his hands in front of Roman, obviously frustrated.

Roman winced in spite of himself, forgetting that Virgil is speaking his second language and translating everything he is saying in his head, so making fun of his vernacular is a dick move, “Ah, sorry, it is September 29th.”

“Right, and do you remember what happened a month ago?”

“I-” Roman’s realization dawned upon him, “Oh, right, that. Did Logan say he was going to-”

“No, he is not,” Roman cocked his head to the side as Virgil continued, “He told me last night that he has ‘let the whole thing go’,” Virgil dropped his air quotes, wearing a disgusted look on his face, but Roman’s expression perked up.

“Well, that’s great, yeah? He is not going to say anything about me egging your house and I obviously am not going to say anything. This is fantastic!”

“Yea, fantastic,” Virgil grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at his shoes.

“Is it not? Do you- do you want me to get expelled Virgil? Because I swear I thought you liked me. I know we are kind of enemies but I always thought it was in a playful banter type of way, not that you would ever actually try to “take me down” or whatever,” Roman gasped, “Unless that was your plan all along. Oh my God, that is genius, you really are an incredible actor, Virgil, you should join theater with-”

“Drž hubu! Drž hubu Roman, I swear, you talk so much,” Virgil shouted. “I just- That is not what I am saying, this has nothing to do with me,”

“What does this have to do with, then?”

Virgil sighed, calming himself down a bit, before speaking, “What are your feelings towards Logan?”

Roman was taken back a bit by the question, which must have put a shocked expression on his face, making Virgil quirk an eyebrow up, “We- we’re friends. Good friends, Virgil,”

“Just friends?”

“No!” Roman said, putting his hands up a bit too defensively, “I mean, yes, obviously just friends, I said no because we are no more than- not more than friends. I just- No, we are friends,”

“I just cannot think of any other reason why Logan would let this go other than him being,” Virgil shivered a bit, “In love. He would do anything to get ahead and is a crazy ambitious guy. He has all the proof he needs as well,”

“What do you mean ‘all the proof’-”

“And you two spend everyday after school together now. I see how you hold onto him on his motorcycle,”

Roman scoffs, thinking about his afterschool activities as of late, specifically, the ride to his apartment, “If you mean how I hold on for dear life because motorcycles are giant death bicycles, then you would be correct,” Virgil widened his eyes, very obviously mouthing ‘wow…’ in Roman’s direction, making the latter frown, standing in akimbo, “Maybe Logan has just, I dunno, thawed out a bit. That whole Ice Punk Prince act was getting tired,”

“Act?” Virgil repeated incredulously.

“No, no, no,” Roman waved his hands in front of him, “Just, a phase,”

“A phase, huh?” Virgil frowned even deeper, crossing his arms over his chest after zipping up his jacket.

Roman sighed, shrinking in on himself, “Well, yea. Clothes often times are a direct reflection of how we are feeling, and Logan tries to distance himself from whomever he feels he is getting close to. This creates problems whenever he tries to form meaningful relationships with anyone because of his abandonment issues with his parents. They were never really there for him so he does not realise how important those kinds of relationships can be, on a fundamental level. The phase that he is in now cannot be held up forever because eventually he is going to need a support system for himself, and I believe he is recognizing that,”

Roman bit his lip a bit, “It feels nice to be one of the first people he is warming up to, y’know? I am sure you understand, Virgil,”

Virgil straightened out his shoulders and uncrossed his arms and was wearing a soft smile on his face, one that was really only reserved for his brother most days, “Yea. I think I do understand, Roman. I am shocked about how well you know Logan,”

Roman laughed, “Well, he was a tough nut to crack, but I try my best to get to know people now before making snap judgments about them. And, I took AP Psych last year,”

“Oh, hey,” Virgil pointed at Roman, “I am in that now,”

“Really? Roman asked, foregoing their original conversation, “Do you have Woodstock?”

“No, I got Davis,”

Roman pouted, “Lucky, you got the easy Psych teacher. She does not grade worksheets, it is all participation,”

“It is not so easy for someone who has anxiety,” Virgil deadpanned. Roman opened his mouth to refute/apologise, until Virgil spoke up again, “Nah, I am just playing, she normally takes pity on me because I am the exchange student,”

“Either way, that is just my two cents from my year of Psych. Maybe all Lo wants is a meaningful friendship.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Friendship, sure. Either way, I support you,”

Roman smirked, “Or, maybe, he just really wants my coc-”

There was a harsh rapping on the metal door leading to the shop room where a teen’s voice could be heard, “Roman, Virgil, Mr. B says if you are done making out then you need to come out and help clean up,”

Roman could not help but laugh wildly as Virgil turned beet red and quickly shuffled out of the shop room.

Despite the boisterous laughter, Roman could not cover up what he was thinking: Did he have deeper feelings for Logan? Logan always was a really clever, handsome guy. He was the type of person whose voice carried like silk throughout a room and was pleasant to listen too, and his tight jeans were not doing the world a disservice.  He was always willing to help and to learn, even in a trade he did not necessarily need to know about. Logan will most likely never change oil in his life, but the idea of even having the option to learn was just enough to get him to become excited. Logan had so much passion. Most people thought of him as cold or robotic or unfeeling, but Roman saw the human and the warmth and there was so much passion packed in his stout frame, so much Roman fears sometimes the smaller man will start singing like a teapot and burst.

Logan and Roman continued to text and hang out every day. Roman rode on the back of Logan’s motorcycle enough for his to stop screaming, but the tightness of his grip only increased. They continued this routine for a few days, but Virgil’s question still burned in his mind.

It burned and consumed his every thought. Every interaction now had a deeper meaning and he couldn’t look at anything surface level. It kept him up at night, he couldn’t close his eyes without imagining his smile. It became increasingly difficult to talk or hang out and it made his emotions go haywire, but luckily Roman was an actor by nature.

After two weeks, Roman knew, and Roman had his answer.

Roman: I am head over heels for Logan.

Pat-Man: oh dear… D:

A Tuesday, afterschool

“You ready to go, pretty boy, I don’t like to wait?” Logan threw the helmet at Roman who barely caught it in his haste to put his jacket back on from his waist.

“I told you not to call me that,” Roman grumbled, putting on his helmet.

Logan shrugged, “Why not, it’s so fitting,”

“Wait, what is th-” Roman was cut off by Logan’s motorcycle engine turning on and raised an eyebrow before putting on his helmet. Roman got on the back of the motorcycle before they sped off to Roman’s apartment.

After 10 minutes, they reached their destination. Logan parked his bike and took off his helmet, running his hands through his black hair, climbing off the motorcycle. He looked off into the distance at the parkway he just came off of. Roman let his eyes trail over his frame. Logan’s dark blue button up paired with a black tie nicely accented his subtle muscles. He didn’t wear ripped jeans often, but today, he wore pitch black jeans with rips on the knees and thighs with those oh so familiar combat boots. Roman’s mouth went dry. It was a partly cloudy day, but Logan was glowing. Roman was barely paying any attention until he fell off of the motorcycle back and hit his shoulder hard on the pavement.

“Roman! Are you alright?” Logan rushed over to Roman’s aid, muttering to himself, eyes filled with worry and concern. Roman almost forgot how nice and cool Logan’s voice sounded. He realised he was wrong, Logan’s voice is velvet. “Roman, what is wrong?” He realised only then he had been staring at the other with a blank look on his face, saying nothing.

“No, nothing is wrong. I feel fine,” Roman’s voice wavered a bit as he looked away from Logan.

Logan said nothing as he led Roman over to the curb and they both sat down, Roman let out at sigh of relief, standing up and the short walk to the ledge somehow became very difficult.

“Roman, did you sleep at all? Eat?” Logan asked. Roman shook his head, and Logan took his hand in his and rub his thumb across his knuckles, Roman’s pulse speeding up exponentially at the act, “Do you, uh, want to talk about it?”

Roman’s eyes widened and shook his head, “Oh, good, I would not know how to deal with that,” Logan said, running his hands through his hair with his free hand. Roman smiled at this and shook his head, “Well, here is some generic advice then: you are, uh, incredible, Roman. Whatever this is, it is not worth you not eating or sleeping over,” He raised an eyebrow at Logan and the man in question gripped the bridge of his nose, “I’m sorry, I wish I could be more empathetic. I care about you, Roman. I care… A lot,”

Roman eyes shot up and looked at Logan. He was not looking at any part of Roman and was biting his lip, looking vulnerable and open. He was frantically rubbing his knuckles now, his eyes filled with worry. Roman thought back to what Virgil said, then back to Logan giving him homework, then his apology, then the altercation in the hallway, and the first time they declared war upon one another in the vice principal’s office, what did they all have: Passion. Logan is passion. He tries so hard to subdue it, but it is who he is, and Roman cannot get enough of it. Poor Logan’s stoic demeanor is cracking ever so slightly, and just enough for Roman to read between the lines.

“Hey Logan,” Roman started, his voice scratchy and raw, “Did you know that the lips are among the body parts that have the most nerve endings out of the whole body?”

“Yes, I did. Though I am unsure as to why you’re telling me-”

Roman cut Logan off, he cupped his face and connected their lips, effectively shutting him up. The kiss was sweet and tender and chastate. Yet, somehow the kiss was filled love and admiration, and walls broken down of tension between them. Logan responded and gripped the back of Roman head, slightly tugging his brown locks and deepening the kiss. The kiss now had heat and fire in their lips. A blazing inferno was created with every second passing of the pair’s kissing. Eventually, Logan broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Roman’s.

Roman chuckled slightly, “It is what makes contact with them so perceptible,”

Logan laughed, “Oh, you gorgeous bastard,” He cupped his face and kissed Roman again, filled with that same passion that enraptured Roman so many months ago.  

FFX Relivebloggening Part 3

Meanwhile, back in Kilika...

What was Dona intending by coming back to the Cloister? She was apparently looking for Yuna, and it's not like she knew Tidus wasn't an official guardian. Did she finally think of a comeback and actually have the guts we all wish we had to actually go back and say it? The Kilika Cloister of Trials is always the hardest for me. Every time, I forget a step or get one out of order. This time I forgot which type of sphere needed to go into the pedestal for the Destruction loot. Tidus, as usual, is the only one who finds the fayth creepy. Also, "willingly" may be a stretch - or an outright lie. It's not like there are release forms on file. They seem relatively chill with it now, but then again, they are also asking for help with dying. I'm not talking to Lulu as much as usual, because I want to keep my affection with her low. It's odd, coming off playing Tales of Symphonia where Colette gets a massive affection boost at the start, that it's so easy for the canonical romance to not be the person you get the optional dialogue with. At least for me, it's usually Lulu. (It's because she has so much interesting dialogue in the early game. I often go straight to her to chat, and up goes that affection value.) It's not that Tidus craves being the center of attention, exactly, but he's used to it, it's part of the world-as-he-knew-it, and seeing everyone focused on Yuna reminds him of how that's not the way anymore. I always save like crazy on this boat ride, because I will get the Jecht Shot. Tidus is learning to take the easy route of saying he's toxin-brained, but Yuna has never taken the easy route in her life and doesn't mean to start now. She's also...the only person in the world who actively says she believes in Tidus and his Zanarkand. (Also, flirting again. That's how people flirt, right? Say they'd like to see your home and stuff?) (Tidus definitely wants to flirt back, but unfortunately, well, "As if I had a place to show her.") It's possible to miss that conversation with Yuna entirely, or not go up the stairs to listen to Wakka and Lulu. I did the former last time I played, so I made sure to do it now. Lulu wants someone to complain with, but Wakka's too easygoing to get a good kvetch session going with. I don't entirely blame her; a lot is happening, and she's under a lot of stress what with Yuna's impending death and all. "Be discreet." Lulu, this is Wakka you're talking to. No, that's not fair, Wakka can be discreet...ish...sometimes. "Sin just takes everything away from us." And of course he's not just talking about their parents, but about Chappu, and Yuna, and everyone else they've lost or are expecting to lose. An NPC says "Sin's attacked Besaid so many times I lost count"; they've probably lost friends then too. And back to Jecht, as I flex my proto-QTE fingers. This is a straight-up memory, and he does not come off well, even though I think he's...trying, or upset that he doesn't know how to try. I think Jecht is the kind of father who thinks he must be doing okay because he's not hitting his kid the way he was hit. He doesn't realize that emotional damage also fucks people up. One reset later: meanwhile, Tidus has recognized more fully that the way he was treated was wrong, and his response is to avoid it in how he treats others. In contrast to Jecht saying no one else could do the Jecht Shot, Tidus says, "Anyone can do it if they try." Even though in blitzball, only Tidus can in fact ever learn the Jecht Shot. I checked. Yuna remembers a lot about Jecht for someone who was seven - but then, she was probably trying as hard as she could to remember the last time she would ever have with her father. All this time, and so few people have ever known that guarding a High Summoner is a death sentence. Yuna still assumes gossip would have told her if Jecht were dead - and Auron, even though neither of them have been seen in Spira since Braska died. Tidus feels like something bad's going to happen. Buddy, this is Spira. Something bad is always going to happen. Tidus is so happy to finally be in a place with a lot of people. He's a city boy at heart. I really love the announcers; they make the world feel so lived-in and "normal". I love patter like that. I mean, I also want to glare at them for badmouthing my Aurochs, but you know. Different parts of the brain like different things. Introducing: the Zombie Space Pope! And not one of your modern popes, either. One of your serious kingmaker popes. Although, I guess he's just fully king, since the maesters appear to be the holders of all temporal power in Spira as well. (Except for the Al Bhed.) Nothing will ever make Seymour's clothing make sense. Nothing. Somehow, Seymour could tell that Yuna's a summoner in the midst of the crowd. At least, he seemed to zero in on her very intently. Creep. When I was a kid, I thought he was creepy, but I didn't have a sense of the age difference. As a 30-year-old, someone who's around 27 professing interest in a 17-year-old is double creepy bad. I mean also he's planning to use her death to destroy the world, but. You know. There is only one Auron, Tidus. No one has double names in fiction. It's against the rules. The Psyches Tidus talks to definitely understand him, but pretending not to means they don't have to respond to people, especially if they're rude. Yuna is clearly angling to hold hands here, and Tidus just does not notice. "Hey what if you whistled for me like a taxicab?" "...Not what I had in mind but okay." (Of course they manage to make this heartrending later.) To Tidus, this is "a pretty big town"; to Yuna, this is a city, the second-largest in the world. Cultural context is everything. Yep, Tidus, you thought you were famous before. Back there, there were still plenty of people who didn't care about blitzball. Here, it's this or studying scriptures. Forever amused by how the building they walk into is clearly labeled, "Bar", while the building next door is labeled "Cafe". Maybe there's a reason you didn't find Auron there... I assume Yuna got "kidnapped" by someone overhearing her asking about Auron, saying they knew where he was, and leading her off. I assume she was too polite and didn't want to kill anyone, or she could definitely have Valefor'd them to smithereens. (Maybe a Silence Attack was involved. Does Silence cut off summoning?) Don't ask about blitzball physics. Or biology. Or...anything, really. Just destroy your opponents. Was claiming to be holding Yuna hostage for the game a cover to avoid admitting that they were really kidnapping the summoner for her own good? Seems weird. I have to assume the "Psyches" in this game are ringers relying on "all Al Bhed look alike", because there's no way the Aurochs got that many goals on Nimrook at level one without their best forward. Lulu just fucking. teleports onto the boat. She has no feet and therefore cannot jump. Among my favorite exchanges in this game: "I hope you hurt them." "A little." There's definitely something to be said about Yuna being mixed-race with the complicated way actual mixed-race people are treated in Japan (and the US, for that matter). Buttttt I am not the person to say it. I'll just gently whisper that Yuna is matrilineally Space Jewish. One of Lulu's flaws that she has to get over during the game is that she's dealing with her grief over Chappu by comparing everyone, especially Wakka, to him. Maybe Chappu was a better blitzer than Wakka, or would have been fine after having what I assume are several cracked ribs from illegal tackles, but the fact that Lulu says it in no way means that it's true. #WakkaDefenseSquad2k19 That said, what Wakka has to get over is his racism. Which is obviously a much bigger issue. It seems almost benign here, since it was in fact Al Bhed who just attacked Yuna, but...it gets worse. I'm probably going to have to see this cutscene several times. But I will be victorious. I am, however, impressed that Lulu can catch Wakka when he collapses (Yuna plz heal his ribs) without going down with him. He's a big guy and most of it is muscle. And the inscription actually says, "To the memories of childhood - farewell," which is particularly touching and, of course, sad. If this were fencing, a decent referee would give Bickson a black card for unsportsmanlike conduct. (For those of you who are unaware, a black card means you have to leave not merely the event but the venue. Non-participants such as coaches can also be black-carded.) First try: kept the score tied 2-2 in the first half, got Tidus the requisite level so he can use Jecht Shot. Got off a Jecht Shot early in the second half and kept the Goers from scoring until Wakka came in. Aaaaand I got Wakka the ball at the four-minute mark for our fourth goal and victory! I AM SUPREME! I'm not saying I would have realized I was gayce a lot sooner if not for that FMV of Auron slipping his arm out of his coat, but I'm also not not saying that. So cool! Auron is not cool. This is an important fact to know about him. He seems cool, but internally he is panicking 50% of the time and sad and gay the other 50%. But I was a teenager and didn't know that competence is fake actually. Spiran ecology count: another dog, happily observing the Aurochs' farewells. Speaking of said farewells, they're kind of unnecessary as I will be getting Wakka back on my team the very second I have an opportunity. Tidus is...not entirely wrong about this all being Auron's fault. I mean, on a macro level it's not since he's just doing the best he can with this shitty situation, he didn't create the situation, but on a micro level he definitely did toss Tidus into Sin's magic traveling sphincter. Like, this was definitely in the plan, although it goes much better than he has any right to expect - he was probably expecting to pick up Tidus and Yuna separately, not find them already buddy-buddy. I really respect Auron for telling the protagonist some facts at least earlier than your average protag gets to know what their father has become. Which is a chronic protag problem. He's also gently patting Tidus on the back, which is about the limits of his emotional support skills. He tries, but... Auron, when he's done being a cagey bastard, correctly identifies Lulu as the One To Talk To if he wants to receive information. She has the map, the color-coded notes, and the safety pins stuck to the inside of her purse. She's the big sister I wish I could be. "I understand. I think." Tidus does not understand, because Yuna is deliberately not telling him the important part: she needs to practice smiling when she's sad about how she's going to die soon and people are so encouraging and happy to see her do it. And now, the scene that everyone loves to make fun of. Look, people, it's not bad. If the ha-ha-ha were supposed to sound like normal laughter, that would be comically bad, but it's not. It's a couple dumb trauma babies fake-laughing badly until they give themselves the giggles while their friends watch in confusion! "I want my journey...to be full of laughter." She may not have much time, but Yuna wants to pack in as many good things as she can, while she can.

Magicians (and how slash ships are treated) rant...

I’ve watched shows where...

A slash ship finally expressed their love for each other and heavily indicated the relationship would be consummated only for one half to be murdered by the end of the episode.

The audience was mercilessly queer-baited for years only for the characters to be put in straight relationships or for the love to be one-sided or unrequited, with no satisfying conclusion. And all because stringing along the fans with homoerotic scenes, flirtatious banter and innuendo keeps the viewership steady without actually having to pull the trigger on a same-sex romance and of course they wouldn’t want to alienate the homophobic portion of the audience. Apparently heterosexuality and pandering to bigots will always trump chemistry, connection and sense. 

One half of the couple dies tragically in the others arms, usually from murder or an incurable ailment.

The gay character never gets a love interest at all, even when the show runs for years. Or they do get a love interest, but are barely allowed to kiss unless it’s in dim lighting.

Multiple gay characters are added for the sake of inclusion only for them to get no significant screen time, or they’re killed off, never receiving a meaningful story arc or romance. And the excuse made for never pairing any of them together is that they don’t want to create couples simply based on the fact they’re both gay. So who exactly can they be paired with? The sexually ambiguous male lead? Ha! Keep dreaming!

One half of the pairing is murdered by the other. And you’d think that nothing could be more devastating than that...

The Magicians season 4 finale was worse than any of the above, because they promised us something within their own narrative (”If I ever get out of here Q, know that when I’m braver it’s because I learned it from you.”) and not only didn’t deliver, they destroyed it in the cruelest way possible. They relished the critical praise of episodes like A Life in The Day and Escape from the Happy Place, they presented the audience with a male/male ship that was mutually requited and had the potential to be a groundbreaking power couple for the ages and they not only took it away but spat in our faces. They filled the final 3 episodes of season 4 with heterosexual love stories and gave them meaningful moments together before the tragic death of their bisexual lead and they couldn’t even spare a look between Quentin and Eliot, not even a one sentence exchange. And for what? Shock value? To give Eliot more man-pain going into season 5? For the sake of tragedy and realism in a fantasy show about MAGIC?! Why is it realistic for the straight couples to get final moments together but not the same-sex pairing? And why would you center an entire season around Quentin’s unwavering mission to free Eliot from the monster only to have Eliot finally come back (in an extremely anticlimactic way I might add) and not even have these characters speak to or look at each other during said scene or later in the episode? And Eliot awoke from his season long imprisonment in his own mind to the news that his best friend, brother of the heart and soulmate is dead and he’ll never get the chance to tell him he loves him, which was the motivating thought that kept him fighting for his freedom from the monster. It’s absolutely baffling from a writing perspective, as if the writers of the second half of the season had no concept of what propelled the first.

What could have been a bold, groundbreaking and historic moment in the television landscape became a living nightmare of undoing everything the show did right. And boy, did we believe wholeheartedly in this little cult scifi show. We all thought that this one was different. Surely they wouldn’t be like all the others, not when they wrote Quentin and Eliot’s relationship with such nuance, meaning and beauty... but in the end they acted with the same spinelessness, heartlessness and disregard for their most loyal supporters as all the rest, and they were downright savage in their delivery of the final blow. They not only killed a unique, relatable, and brave character and a ship that never reached it’s full potential, they killed the show entirely. Our trust was betrayed, our faith evaporated with Quentin, and our love for The Magicians was utterly snuffed out. And the true tragedy is The Magicians won’t be remembered for the magical, daring, layered, funny, deep, poignant and beloved show it once was, but for the gutless mess it became in the final episodes of season 4.

Should we just accept that slash ships will inevitably end in tragedy, or never be requited, that one half must die, that they should be treated as less than their hetero counterparts? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want all same-sex tv couples to live a tragedy free existence. I love angst and drama and the masochist in me is a sucker for a star-crossed love story. All I ask is for these potential couples to exist outside the realm of subtext whether it ends in a happily ever after or heartbreaking devastation. Give them a chance to flourish, instead of crushing all potential before the story has begun.

Why should fictional gay couples and main characters only be relegated to soap operas, fluffy comedies, and shows that are specifically geared towards a gay audience? Why are gay and bi characters always secondary on scripted dramas? Visibility matters but so does treating LGBT characters with the same respect and dignity as their straight peers. Including gay characters within a series just for the sake of inclusion is not progressive if you never do anything consequential with them. Can we not have one mainstream dramatic series where the male lead falls in love with another man (before the final episode and not in flashback form)? Would the show be ripped off the air? Would the ratings plummet? Do producers not realize how hungry we are for something like this? How many times we’ve been burned and hurt by television series in the past? If a show were to go boldly into this uncharted territory it would be hailed as a cultural phenomenon and we would spread the word like wildfire! Or is queer-baiting, the “bury your gays” trope, and minimal inclusion so alluring that artistic integrity be damned? Would these shows rather appeal to the narrow-minded than the open-hearted?

And why should we be treated so abhorrently? The members of the slash fandom are the ones who love these shows with all our hearts, re-watch episodes incessantly, create gifs, art, fics, tribute videos, cosplay, meta, the ones who tweet and promote and recommend the show to others, not because we’re paid to but because we’re devoted and passionate. We are the ones who keep the spirit of shows alive long after they’re off the air waves. We’re the ones who find inspiration in the characters and worlds these series create and expand upon these wonderful creations into works of our own making. And all we ask in return is just once for a pairing we ship to get a chance at love. To not be baited, fooled, played and ultimately heartbroken, hopeless and disillusioned.

This long-running and unfortunate queer-baiting phenomenon is unacceptable and the practice needs to be eradicated now. The lack of ethics and creative principle from showrunners and network execs is the epitome of cowardice. Why is fear stronger than love and reason? I guarantee if they had a male lead character fall in love with a man (not on a whim, but because it made sense within the canon text of the show and because of the chemistry between the two characters) they would receive mountains of praise from critics and fans. It would breathe new life into a stale state of sameness within network drama. Slash fans would tune-in in droves to witness such a valiant television landmark and historic precedent. They would be the trailblazing show that did what no other had the honesty and moral fiber to do. And to think it could have been you, The Magicians.

It’s 2019. Please do better.