#mum needs you
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#i wish you were here#i wish i would hear you one more time#i wish you would hold me one more time#to hear you call me babe#or leebe#or a sees ya later#or a loves ya#i wish i could hear you sing once more#to have you make me pie#i wish you would call me babe one more time Grampy#i wish you could hold granny tight#i would give my life for you to tell her you love her#just one more time grampy#please#just one more time#i need you here#we all need you here#mum needs you#we all need you grampy#happy 72nd birthday#we love you to the stars and back#i love you more than ive ever found the words to say#i love you#i miss you#always and forever
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niche tmaposting GO!! heres a gift for ginger on discord for the tmi server gift exchange. i saw their prompt about jon's parents being involved in the institute/fears and went wild!!! imagine being descended from not one but two cunty office workers!!!!!!
#wiggly pen#tma#tma fanart#the magnus archives#the magnus archives fanart#jonathan sims#jon's mum and dad#you will never see them again#illust#need to switch up my palette soon#mag81
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Happy mother's day...
#shoutout to all the mums. i know at least one of you mentioned kids in tags before so hope you had a good day! or will have.... timezones..#anyway did aunty lee know need to be included? no. but also yes. to me she did#stray kids#skz#bystay#createskz#lee know#lee minho#hwang hyunjin#yang jeongin#han jisung#linosource#sQz
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Sero Hanta, early-twenties, sat in a small room with his pants around his ankles and a small pot in his hand. There’s porn magazines all over the place, something he’s never quite cared for, but he still manages to deposit his sample with the nurse within a break-neck 10 minutes. Blame his youthful exuberance and the fact he hasn’t touched himself for almost two weeks leading up to his appointment, he guesses.
And you, fifteen years later, with your son. A lanky boy who’s too tall for his age, with a mop of black hair and eyes of such a richly, dark brown they’re often mistaken for black.
#Accidental dad Sero is my favourite#You scrape everything you can together to send him to UA;#bc he’s determined to become a hero just like Cellophane.#And yes; you have noticed that your sons quirk is a little similar to his favourite heroes;#but you figure there must be thousands of people with similar quirks.#Something; something - Sero guest lectures at UA and takes your son under his wing -#figuring he’s like a distant cousin or something.#Doesn’t think to ask tho.#Until one day; a heart to heart later… You son laughs; ‘Never needed a dad anyway - me and mum have always done alright.’#Sero braces himself for talk of abuse; abandonment and dead-beat dads#So imagine his surprise when he suddenly realises…#Shit.#Maybe he’s the dead beat here.
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listen i don't think edward little was actually a bad first lieutenant. when we see him in the first episode he's calm and confident. he does not say much but he's amiable enough. crozier likes him, and i don't think crozier would like anyone he doesn't think capable in some way. generally he's dependable and knows what he's doing. however unfortunately for edward he has these qualities because he has a major case of eldest daughter syndrome, which means he both wants to please his mum (crozier) and has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for his younger siblings (crew), so when they get stuck in the ice and crozier starts going (more) alcoholic, he enables his mum bc he doesn't want to disappoint her even if he doesn't agree with her, and he has to pick up the tasks and care for his siblings she's not doing, but he can't let his siblings know about their mum's situation because they'll get worried and restless. and like a true eldest daughter he has to bear the brunt of mummy's anger for being a disappointment but he also doesn't want to seek refuge with the man she divorced (fitzjames) because that feels like a betrayal. also while this is going on there is a giant bear who hunts his siblings for sport so they're dying left and right and also a changeling master manipulator who's making his siblings mad at their mum and who wants to fuck said mum before eating her like some sort of praying mantis. anyway i think i would start being miserable and anxious too.
#joke post but i do feel like the whole 'edward little's bad lieutenanting' goes a little overboard sometimes#he's always in the worst position ever for a man whose sense of duty to captain and crew is at the core of his being#generally everything he does he does bc he thinks it's for the good of the crew.#but the crew is 24/7 in mortal peril so he's anxious 24/7 as well#under normal circumstances he'd know what to do. but these aren't normal 1st lieutenant circumstances. he's not equipped for it#and anyway i do need to point out. that edward is anxious abt everything and he makes wrong choices sometimes even with good intentions#but the first thing crozier did when he got miserable and anxious was stop trying and instead hope to drink himself to death. so. you know.#edward little#the terror#jopson is the favoured younger sibling in this scenario btw#inb4 someone comes into the tags like 'wouldn't jfj be the mum' not in this metaphor
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a dream of home
#be warned i felt like yapping in the notes and by god thats what i did#i loooove making messy drawings like this actually. i love colouring and making finished pieces but#i only have the patience to do it every so often. clean lines and detailed colours are <3 but they cause me psychic damage#so its nice to just be able to sketch and only clean it up a little and then go fuck it. colours time#i did not want to make vyncents mum blonde even tho thats what they say in canon. theres no way. it just doesnt feel like it fits#i tried to make her hair a pale purple turning to blonde-ish at the ends instead but the lighting just completely washed that out lol#my artwork#jrwi vyncent#jrwi#jrwi vyncent sol#jrwi anna#jrwi anna sol#anyway. bizly bizly channel. condi condifiction. *slides you a twenty dollar note* PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#tell us more about fauna and vyncents childhood#im on the floor sobbing and begging#i need lore not thats not just haha rpg as much as i love those bits#tell me everything.#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi pd#jrwi fanart#vyncent sol#jrwi fauna#jrwi pd fanart#pd fanart#prime defenders#prime defenders fanart#i fear i may hate this drawing upon waking up#but as the old saying goes#fuck it we ball
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Oh man, I really didn't want to make any comments about anyone not associated with SAF while I've been doing this, but this was such a bizarre comment I couldn't not share it
#if these people had ever worn fur then they would understand why the animals don't mind the cold#my mum has a leather coat with rabbit fur edging around the collar and sleeves#ive worn it a couple times in the middle of winter but had to take it off both times because i was sweating so much#(mind you it only gets to around 4 degrees at the lowest here)#not trying to say everyone needs to wear or like fur. all im saying is that stuff is WARM.#(btw my mums coat was second hand and she got it at a garage sale for $1 like 20 years ago)#look i dont like SAF but if i got comments like they sometimes do i would straight up delete my account
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Impulsively shoving a guy's hand in your mouth after having the thought "oh just like when my little sister used to prick herself on a rose thorn" and then immediately being treated like a pet who ate something they shouldn't have? Wonderful. Thank you, Thane.
(also not pictured is Thane apparently trying to scrape your tongue with his hand BEFORE pouring the holy water down your throat because NO. BAD.)
#bewitching sinners#palmier baker#thane verashkova#accidentally ingesting vampire blood because of big brother impulses is wild#also the reason hes so alarmed is bc in that world you kinda soulbond to others and thats how you soulbond as a vampire#you drink each others blood and so hes flipping out because while he hasnt had your blood yet#hey your ex is going to absolutely kill me if we bond on accident and i dont think i wanna die like that!#which is VERY cool to know thank you thane im so glad your concern is actually less of being bound#but about being murdered thats really cool#also the fact thane is found in the library studying with arshem my beloved ex and is BRIBED TO LEARN RECIPES#by arshem with vials of mixed blood hes just CASUALLY CARRYING is like hey man#thank you for being group mum i love you for it#and then later on arshem actually is like oh thane you can drink my blood later since you havent fed for a while#and thane is super chipper about it like HECK YEAH THANKS !#hey boys youre adorable thank you for existing in this incredibly fucked up world#im in a choke hold with this otome im sorry#you ever try to be nice to a guy and think surely this will help him a little bit then you get background lore#and you realize youre probably making things A LOT WORSE FOR HIM by being nice#im going through it with my emotions as i learn about palmiers actions pre game swap so like#dude please i am BEGGING YOU palmier please have ONE redeeming quality in you at some point#i want to adopt one of the love interests as my son though and im obsessed with the fact he can speak fish#my son can speak to the fish and he gives me fish as a present bc i might need it later#and i do actually in fact need said fish later for another quest#thankyou my son i love you and i appreciate you youre amazing#gonna have to draw arshem at some point and everyone will immediately go yeah that makes sense
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Yeah how about we don’t be this person.
#ship what you ship but for the love of god stop making everything about your ship!!!#this kind of behaviour is why people cringe and groan when a non canon ship is brought up#this is not me shitting on buddie#I’m a buddie shipper 100%#this is me shitting on people who do shit like this and ruin it for the rest of us#this was a post about Chris and his mum .. NOTHING TO DO WITH BUDDIE!!!#wtf some of y’all need to fucking chill and back off#sorry .. seeing this just really annoyed me#fandom#buddie#911 abc#I get the poster could be young and not know better#but ahhhh it irks me
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https://x.com/sherniibal/status/1715675827537420699?s=46&t=C_twoBlJmxDu2Nz9W99Q2A
look at him, he looks so disheveled in the best way. 😭😭😭😭😭
OH FUCK
#anon#ask#misha collins#my mum just said ‘you need to do that tomorrow. you did too many with his arms on the shoulder you need to go lower now’#MAAM
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if richie jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend
the people have been banging on my front door, crying, screaming, begging for more carmy content. and i hear you, i do. but anyways, here's this instead x
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would think you’re so smart. “Babe, you’re so smart,” he would say, all the time.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would be the worst gift-giver, and always get you really dumb, sometimes mean things, because he takes jokes too far. Even when he’d really try to be sincere, the gift would be impractical, or unnecessary, or just plain stupid, but he’d look at you with such love that you wouldn’t care anymore.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would be fully updated on all your petty gossip, all the time. “Ugh, this person on Twitter is GARBAGE and their Twitter is LITTER ON THE FACE OF THE INTERNET,” you’d tell him. The next time you mention them, he would be like, “Oh I remember, litter on the face of the internet, right? They always reply to your shit tryna argue and stuff? God, what’d they say this time?”
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would constantly text you funny online videos with “LOLLLLLLLL” commentary.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would quickly accept that there’s a way everyone else spells something, and then there’s the way Richie spells it.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, when you and your mother fought, he’d lean against the wall and listen, arms crossed and face neutral but sympathetic, until finally he’d mouth, “Let me talk to her,” and reach out for the phone. You’d listen as he spoke with her – charming her pants off, as usual – until the two of them were laughing and swapping stories about you. Then he’d say, “Oh, no, she can’t come to the phone right now, she had some crazy hot wings earlier so she’s gonna be in the bathroom for a while.” You’d flip him off from the sidelines. “Of course I’ll tell her. Okay, you too, Joyce. Take care, now. Alright, buh-bye,” and then he’d hang up and grin at you.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would have no trouble outpacing your dirty mouth, spewing forth creative profanity with such impressive ease that you could do nothing but try to remember it for the next traffic jam.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would begin to feel about men in suits the same way you used to feel about men in grey sweatpants.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he’d leave sticky notes with bad jokes on your refrigerator. Stuff like, 69ing is now called 96ing because inflation has made the cost of eating out skyrocket. “You threw my note away?” He’d ask each afternoon, feigning offense. “Yes,” you’d deadpan.
(But we both know that, if Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you’d have a little shoebox under your bed where you collected them all. He’d find the box one day, giving you a saucy look that would soon turn extremely sentimental once he lifted the lid to see stacks of sticky notes and not a vibrator. (“Where do you keep your vibrator, though, just so I know?”))
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would order your latte using the dumb Starbucks lingo, even though you know he would much rather just go to the tiny independent coffee shop ten minutes out of the way instead of embarrassing you by arguing with the barista over the word “medium.”
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would entertain your friends for hours, expertly mixing cocktails like a wise bartender during Prohibition and listening intently to their tales of workplace microaggressions and bad scones. He’d remember all their stupid coworkers, so, whenever they’d gripe again a week later, he’d go, “Ugh, fuckin’ Marie again with the late reports!” and your friends would kind of like him more than they like you.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would have no problem apologizing to you if he was wrong about something, but you’d know better than to be an asshole about the situation and rub the apology in his face, so you’d give him a little time to settle and wait for him to say, “Quit fuckin’ around and come sit next to me,” while he’s stretched out on the couch.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would still play Guitar Hero on a regular basis and he wouldn’t make fun of you for your settings still being on “easy”.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, when something good happened to you, you’d tell him and laugh and say, “God, I don’t deserve this!” and he’d look at you and say, “Fuck are you talking about, of course you do.”
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, he would know what umami means, but he wouldn’t tell you. You’d only know you’re using it wrong when you catch the amused simper he’s trying to hide.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, when you visited the restaurant, Nat would have to tell him off about five times that night for lingering at your table too long. He’d pop back into the kitchen every now and again to “make sure table 6 is getting the real deal” and be forcefully ushered out by a chorus of curses each time (thereafter sauntering straight to table 6 to flirt with you a bit more and assure you that, “Oh, they’re cooking you up the real deal back there, I’m making sure of it.”)
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, you would accidentally catch sight of a sticky note on the fridge while he was still in the room. I saw a buttplug on the street today, it’d read, some asshole must’ve dropped it. And you would unfortunately grant him the satisfaction of laughing out loud. He would never let you live down the fact that you do, in fact, find him funny.
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, pre-s2e7-of-the-hit-TV-show-The-Bear-Forks (when he was just: Richie Jerimovich, your scumbag boyfriend), you’d have let him rant about gentrification as much as he wanted, and you’d have refrained from pointing out that he’s saying the same thing over and over. “I know, babe,” you’d have said, “That’s such a good point.”
If Richie Jerimovich were your reformed scumbag boyfriend, post-s2e7-of-the-hit-TV-show-The-Bear-Forks, he’d take to saying, to his still-scumbag friends: “When fishermen cannot go to sea, they mend their nets.” Then he’d explain, sagely, how, “There will be times in our lives where we may not be able to do things we have always done, in the way we have always done them,” and you’d kiss him all over his face, because you love having a reformed scumbag boyfriend who randomly recites proverbs now.
#richie jerimovich#richie the bear#richie x reader#richie jerimovich x reader#the bear fx#the bear s2#the bear imagine#the bear#this may not be what you wanted but i assure you it's what you needed#if x were your y#inspired by the toast#i'm not like this because i'm in van halen#i'm in van halen because i'm like this#character study?#if your mum's name is joyce and you're wondering if i made this with you in mind of course i did ily x
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kazakami really is about obligations all the way. whether to himself or his parents, he's decided he's had his time in the first two years having 'fun' and now it's time to focus. but, the thing is, most of his 'fun' is just ticking off some checklist of all things you'd expect to do in highschool (and the one sport he did actually like, he had to stop because of injury). so, does that really count? isn't that just fulfilling a role regardless of his own wants and needs?
anyway, now he's 100% focusing on his third year. despite how kazakami is hitting all the points in the checklist, how he's showing how he's meeting expectations, it's still not enough for his parents. he has the one hobby to himself, his interest in tokusatsu, which he's into enough to have his own figures and to know obscure trivia off by heart. and his parents are just... dismissive of it. "it's for children", they say, as they ignore their own child's needs.
no wonder kazakami never lets on more about his hobbies in school and only portrays himself as the outgoing model student, if this is how he's treated for showing his genuine interests.
#luckily he's managed to find the one crowd that would legit not judge him for his hobbies.#skip to loafer#skip and loafer#stl manga spoilers#but ye kazakami is v relatable in how he ends up feeling ashamed for being enthusiastic about something that doesn't fit the mold#simply because he's been demeaned for it in the past. it's a common theme in this series but it's a common theme irl so.#he's internalised a lot of it too. he's 'had his fun' (what fun) so now he needs to buckle down and try harder (bc it's not enough)#also also. the way kazakami's mum is like “oh those dolls?” she hasn't even bothered to learn what they are before shipping them off to som#dolls vs figures isn't some obscure trivia. it's something you'd pick up fairly easily if you just paid attention. which she clearly hasn't
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Post-revolution Annie just posts random videos of Finnick and their son on the internet and they always go viral because people have only ever seen Finnick as playboy extraordinare and now they see Finnick being a dumbass father who's trying his best and it's very endearing and 90% of the time the camera pans out to an unimpressed Johanna or Katniss and it's great
#the hunger games#finnick odair#katniss everdeen#annie cresta#johanna mason#listen he's trying#he's never done anything like this before#he needs a minute#finnick ringing his mum like “MUM THE BABY IS CRYING ALL NIGHT WHAT AM I DOING WRONG 😭”#“mum he reached for my lobster can he have it” “finnick hes 6 weeks old”#“mum is he meant to be throwing himself off every surface??” “i mean you did so take that as you will” “NOT HELPFUL”#“can i take him swimming yet?? i want to show him the sharks 😁😁” “finnick hes 2 months old ffs”#Annie's just watching the chaos and texting Finnick's mum like “sorry mum dont stress it I got this”#Finnick's mum just sat there like “at least one of you knows wtf is going on”#jokes on her annie just has a million parenting books she flips through to answer her questions before heading to google#annies search history includes 'how old til baby can visit ocean'#'can i make baby food out of anything'#'how to tell my husband that hes doing fine but holding the baby like that is going to send me into a coma'
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Ride 755: Departure 2
Pag 1
2: Ding ding
3: The boarding the flight number 621 to Fukuoka, departing at 10:30 will close soon
4: If you're boarding, please speak to the staff member closest to you
Pag 2
2: Ah, that guy is angry
Shh
3: Oi
4: He said “I'm coming”, right?
Yessir!! I called him thirty times but he only picked up once....
He just said “soon”....
5: Then why aren't you here, Manamii!!
Pag 3
1: There's the Inter High soon, the Inter High!! Buah!!
So-sorry, I even sent many messages, but his current location-
It's been more than thirty minutes since you've said that, how's that soon!?
Pag 4
1: “Arriving late is a crime”!!
“Causing troubles is a serious crime”!!
Yessir
We told him that, too!!
3: Alright, I put Manami's ticket there, let's go
Huh!? Next to the window!?
That's a little-
Enough
4: Let's go, Yuuto, Tobirama
This time we'll fight as five people in the Inter High
'lright
Yes
No, but, he's the captain!?
Can't be
5: Ah... this must be my ticket
Pag 5
1: Kyushu
3: Take me there, too!!
4: Waaaa, Manami-saan!!
I'm so glad you came!!
Thank you so much!!
Well...
You really are like an here who arrives in the moment of need!!
Pag 6
1: Oi, don't misunderstand!! We were the ones in a pinch and this guy was the culprit!!
Yessir!
Sorry!
Ah, you exposed me...
2: Don't think you can dodge the matter of your tardiness just with your mood and cute face!!
Ah I thought I could make it
3: So?
Why... why were you late?
4: Ahh, I forgot my passport, then I remembered and turned back to get it
5: Ohhh... that's a problem indeed...
Wait!! You don't need a passport to go to Kyushu, right!?
Pag 7
1: Woah!! That was a clever excuse, Manami-san (It was so cool!)
It wasn't clever, and now let's go!!
Did you doze off?
2: Mh...? Well, on the train... it was only one stop?
So he really slept too much...?!
3: Jou-kun and Yuzukoshi-kun went on ahead?
4: They went there with yesterday's flight
Huh!
5: So, when you said “passport”, earlier- what was it, really?
6: Did you really turned back to go get something?
7: Mhh, how should I put it
8: In order to fulfill the final promise....
Pag 8
1: “The final promise”?
It was
3: a necessary piece
4: You're still wearing that ridiculous hat, Manami?
Ah... it's the one Ashikiba-san wanted last year... (Yuuto)
This is for exclusive use during the Inter High
Ohh... “exclusive use”, cool (Tobirama)
Pag 9
2: Kyoto... Kyoto...
7: Small fries!!
Pag 10
1: Then, should we go?
Are you...
Pag 11
1: finally ready?!
2: Yes....!!
3: Mi!!
6: This year's victory will be ours
Our long-awaited victory
Pag 12
1: It's checkmate!!
2: They're coming!!
3: They're coming!! One by one, to this land of Kyushu!!
4: Won't it favour us!? It's our hometown – us, Kumamoto Daichi!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 755#another short chapter i really hope sensei is okay!!#I dont mind the short chap at all (especially bc lately ive had little time to translate) but im kinda worried :')#This chapter was so asdhsdfksdg Manamiiiii you absolute disaster#who would have thought that the responsible one in this team would end up being doubash huh#now that's the surprising thing lmao#manami really went back to get the best boy cap i cant with him#btw i dont remember; does he know that the one who gave him the cap is onoda's mum?? how does he know#'i went back bc i had forgotten my passport' 'you dont need a passport to go to kyushu!?!?!?' ashdkasdfs well at lest he tried lmao#also 'Yuzukoshi-kun'??? is he the other hakogaku member?? :eyes emoji:#cant wait to see what other weirdo hakogaku will have this year#i think this year's hakogaku is the weirdest one - which is a lot tbh#i feel like its going to be my fave hakogaku team#btw doubashi wanting to leave manami behind and just run as five assdgfkdfgs hes right and tbh he should just do just that whenever manami#doesnt show up - 'well i guess we're a five people team from now on'#btw i love i we saw everyone! only kiji's team is missing#(maybe theyll shop up next chapter who knows wanatabe loves kiji enough that it wouldnt surprise me)#midosuji shows up for exactly one panel and hes already creepy af i love him#cant wait to get to know the new guy!!#and hiroshima!!!! cant wait to see them try so hard and then get defeated in the most pathetic ways like every year#i love them i cant wait to see what kind of weirdo higashimura has become#he was kinda normal last year but we cant have a normal person as the hiroshima captain lrb#and then theres kumadai#acting all important and then we all know theyll do absolutely nothing ajsgfksadf
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category 5 bi bestie incident just occurred, deep fiolee lore has dropped
#fionna campbell#marshall lee abadeer#gary prince#marshall lee#fionna and cake#thunder's art#described#i just think the detail that marshall's mum owns fionna's apartment building is very funny when you consider that marshall is the sort of#person to use all the connections he has to help out the cute person he just met#it lends itself to fionna meeting him through moving in to this apartment (and this scenario)#or even that they meet. start dating. and he gets her this apartment cuz she needs a new place LMFAOOO#i didnt choose that one cuz itd be so silly. but its still absolutely feasible#and they still only date for 3 weeks in that version btw
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Assisted Reproduction AU
This was inspired by my experience in the lab this week (so I may get a bit sciency, sorry) and developed between @somethingsteff (some words here are directly hers, I can’t take credit for all) and yours truly through messages.
So in this au, Obi-Wan and Satine are friends, and Satine wants to have a son, or daughter, she doesn't care, but she wants to have a child and either she is a lesbian or she doesn’t have a partner, so she talks about it with Obi-Wan. They decide that, even if they are 100% not interested in a relationship with each other, this is 2024, times have changed, and they are not getting any younger, and both of them have wanted to be parents for a while, and Obi-Wan can’t imagine finding someone he wants to be a parent with in the near future, so they decide to be coparents.
After a doctor meeting to talk about their options Obi-Wan comes back to the hospital alone, because Satine was busy and it’s not like she is needed. This appointment is for Obi-Wan to take a semen sample, the first of many, so they can check the number, quality and mobility of his sperm cells to better assess their options. And while he is there at the doctor’s office, answering questions about how no, it’s not that they have been trying and couldn’t conceive, they are just friends and no, he doesn’t have any previous children, there is one boy sitting behind the doctor all through it. The badge on his lab coat marks him as a student but he is not paying attention to what the doctor is saying – which Obi-Wan is pretty sure he should be doing – he is looking at Obi-Wan. His eyes don’t stray for one second from Obi-Wan, his gaze intense to the point Obi-Wan should be uncomfortable, but he can’t find himself not appreciating the attention.
When it’s time to take the sample Obi-Wan is taking long, too long. Anakin is waiting in the lab for the hot man who for some divine reason hasn’t come here married and wishing to have a baby with his wife but is single to bring his sample, but the man is not coming (in every sense of the word, Anakin guesses). It’s been 45 minutes and from experience, Anakin knows that people normally take between 15 to 20 minutes, so either this man has some incredible stamina (and isn’t that a thought) or there is something wrong. There are some people that get nervous, Anakin guesses not everyone is comfortable jerking off in a setting where everyone knows you are masturbating a couple of rooms away and is then going to judge your sperm. The moment the doctor mentions that they should probably check that everything’s alright with Obi-Wan, Anakin jumps out from his chair. He says that he was planning to go to the cafeteria for some coffee, so he will just stop by to check on him on the way.
Anakin goes to the place where Obi-Wan is currently trying to take the sample, to masturbate, the door thankfully hidden from privy eyes inside another room, and knocks on the door.
“hey, are you alright in there?”
“Yes, everything is fine.”
“Are you sure? You can go take a walk to clear your head if you need, or I can get you some visual help?”
Obi-Wan is completely mortified because this should be the easy part of the process, he just needs to masturbate and come inside a tube, nothing complicated, and he is failing enough that the student intern is asking him if he should get some porn for him. “No, I am fine, don’t worry, I will be out in no time.”
“Do you want some… actual help?”
That startles Obi-Wan enough that he opens the door. “Excuse me?”
“I can help you, you know, if you need me to.”
“Isn’t that completely illegal?”
“Maybe, but I’m only a student, and you are very hot, and you said you are single so…” he smirks and comes in the room, closing the door behind him, “why? You thinking of taking up my offer?”
So Anakin helps Obi-Wan take the sample, and then comes back to the lab all smug before Obi-Wan comes to leave his sample, equal parts mortified and smug/satisfied/flirty because damn, Anakin is hot, and he feels lucky he got a hand job from him.
The next time Obi-Wan has to see the doctor, he insists Satine doesn’t need to come with him, and Satine looks at him with a bit of suspicion but she agrees. The moment it’s time for him to take the sample, Anakin makes his excuses and makes his way to Obi-Wan again. Maybe this time he gets a hand job himself in return.
In between doctor visits and Anakin maybe very illegally getting Obi-Wan’s number, they start dating, and Anakin becomes the third parent of a very non-traditional family.
Years down the line, when the baby is now a sixteen? Seventeen? Year old boy called Korkie, Anakin makes an off comment of “of course, you’re my kid after all”.
“Uh, Uncle Anakin, I know this is a non-traditional family but that’s not really true.”
“Sure it is, I was there when you were conceived.”
Obi-Wan and Satine - because Obi-Wan told her about how the samples were obtained a few months down his relationship with Anakin after one too many glasses of wine because Satine insisted he had to drink for the both of them, and they both agreed to never tell Korkie about that – immediately think about the hand jobs and exclaim “ANAKIN” “ANAKIN YOU CAN’T TELL HIM THAT”
Obi-Wan, “and that’s not exactly true.”
Satine, “I met Anakin AFTER I was pregnant with you.”
And Anakin, who had never told Obi-Wan and Satine that he had helped with the in vitro in the lab because he thought it was obvious that he did is like, “what? But I WAS there”
“That doesn’t count”
“What do you mean it doesn’t count, I saw his fertilization, I took care of him before he was inside you, I am like his second mum.”
And everyone else in the room is like “wot”
“I thought you were just a student?”
“Yeah? That’s why I was doing all that stuff? I had to learn the whole process, I even picked him out for you -you are welcome - and thanks to Obi-Wan I saw every. Single. Step.” He finishes with a smirk.
“ANAKIN”
(Korkie catches the meaning of that and promptly gets out of the room)
Whenever Korkie acts up, Anakin just tells him “when you were a clump of cells you didn’t give me this attitude.”
#the doctor looking at the container 'oooh this is a very good volume. Anakin will you take care of this one?'#Anakin looking straight into Obi-Wan's eyes 'sure I will take good care of it'#whenever korkie needs to explain his family to someone it's just this is my mum and my dad and my second dad who made me in a petri dish#writing stuff#obikin#obikin au#there is reverse version of this where Anakin is the patient and Obi-Wan the doctor that says that if anakin needs anything he wll help#and anakin is like: anything?? 👀👀#assisted reproduction au
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