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istumpysk · 7 months

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OPERATION ICEBERG: THE TIER LIST

THEORY:

HS = HR

[The High Sparrow is Howland Reed]

TIER:

A Joke: These theories are an absolute joke; anyone who believes them is a fool.

[Tier list overview]

EVIDENCE:

Our first stupid Howland Reed theory! Only 17 more to go.

Who is Howland Reed?

Howland Reed is a crannogman and the Lord of Greywater Watch.

He is the father of Meera and Jojen Reed.

He was a close friend and ally of Ned Stark and knows exactly what went down at the Tower of Joy.

He has been mysteriously absent from the series so far, to the point where it's ridiculous.

Who is the High Sparrow?

His name is unknown.

He leads the Sparrows, a faction of the Faith of the Seven.

He became the High Septon of the Faith of the Seven, bypassing any democratic process.

He leads a strict and devout life, showing extreme religious piety.

Similar to Aeron Dam-phair and Melisandre, he's somewhat of a merciless piece of shit who commits abhorrent acts in the name of religion.

Why would Howland Reed be disguising himself as the High Septon?

Are you ready?

Here:

Good news, we're all dumber now.

Anyway, let's dive right in.

The High Sparrow is short, thin, with a trimmed grey-brown beard and knotted hair. He has a sharp, pointed face with deep-set brown eyes, and his bare feet are heavily callused.

The Reeds are short and thin with brown hair. When we're introduced to Meera, her hair is tied in a knot.

"He is cleaning the floor." The speaker was shorter than the queen by several inches and as thin as a broom handle. "Work is a form of prayer, most pleasing to the Smith." He stood, scrub brush in hand. "Your Grace. We have been expecting you." The man's beard was grey and brown and closely trimmed, his hair tied up in a hard knot behind his head. Though his robes were clean, they were frayed and patched as well. He had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows as he scrubbed, but below the knees the cloth was soaked and sodden. His face was sharply pointed, with deep-set eyes as brown as mud. His feet are bare, she saw with dismay. They were hideous as well, hard and horny things, thick with callus. "You are His High Holiness?" - Cersei VI, AFFC

The septon had a lean sharp face and a short beard, grizzled grey and brown. His thin hair was pulled back and knotted behind his head, and his feet were bare and black, gnarled and hard as tree roots. - Brienne I, AFFC

The little crannogman was walking across the field, enjoying the warm spring day and harming none, when he was set upon by three squires. - Bran II, ASOS

All his garb was green, even to the leather of his boots, and when he came closer Bran saw that his eyes were the color of moss, though his teeth looked as white as anyone else's. Both Reeds were slight of build, slender as swords and scarcely taller than Bran himself. They went to one knee before the dais. - Bran III, ACOK

Though near Robb's age, she was slim as a boy, with long brown hair knotted behind her head and only the barest suggestion of breasts. - Bran III, ACOK

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Short, thin, with brown hair matches the Reeds. Eyes as brown as mud and feet resembling tree roots evoke the crannogmen.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: How many billions of people in this world are short, thin, and have brown hair? Also, it's a given that Howland Reed is going to have green eyes.

The High Sparrow looks unkempt, with soiled feet and dirty fingernails.

Crannogmen are frequently described as mudmen.

"My lord husband tells me this new one was born with filth beneath his fingernails." - Cersei VI, AFFC

"Mudmen," answered Little Walder disdainfully. "They're thieves and cravens, and they have green teeth from eating frogs." - Bran III, ACOK

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Muddy, filthy, dirty — these words are closely related.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: You know who else is dirty? Septon Meribald.

Brienne encountered the High Sparrow on Rosby road between King's Landing and Duskendale. At the time, he was traveling south, suggesting he was coming from the north.

"Join us, friends," urged a spare small man in a threadbare septon's robe, who wore a crystal on a thong about his neck. "Westeros has need of every sword." "We were bound for Duskendale," declared Ser Creighton, "but mayhaps we could see you safely to King's Landing." [...] "These are the bones of holy men, murdered for their faith. They served the Seven even unto death. Some starved, some were tortured. Septs have been despoiled, maidens and mothers raped by godless men and demon worshipers. Even silent sisters have been molested. Our Mother Above cries out in her anguish. It is time for all anointed knights to forsake their worldly masters and defend our Holy Faith. Come with us to the city, if you love the Seven." - Brienne I, AFFC

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: I can confirm he was definitely travelling south on Rosby road.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: That's not how you get to King's Landing from Greywater Watch.

(map!)

The High Sparrow is avoiding giving Tommen his blessing as King of the Seven Kingdoms.

"The High Septon should have come to you. And these wretched sparrows . . ." "He feeds them, coddles them, blesses them. Yet will not bless the king." The blessing was an empty ritual, she knew, but rituals and ceremonies had power in the eyes of the ignorant. Aegon the Conqueror himself had dated the start of his realm from the day the High Septon anointed him in Oldtown. "This wretched priest will obey, or learn how weak and human he still is." - Cersei VI, AFFC

Cersei had no idea what Jaehaerys the Conciliator might have sworn. "He did," she agreed, "and the High Septon blessed him and anointed him as king. It is traditional for every new High Septon to give the king his blessing . . . and yet you have refused to bless King Tommen." "Your Grace is mistaken. We have not refused." "You have not come." "The hour is not yet ripe." - Cersei VI, AFFC

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Howland Reed knows no king but the King in the North, whose name is STARK.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Because the High Sparrow knows that Tommen is a bastard, born from an incestuous relationship between brother and sister, and isn't the rightful king. Duh?

The High Sparrow and his flock seem outraged about Ned Stark's execution and the Red Wedding.

"Night soil can be washed away more easily than blood, Your Grace. If the plaza was befouled, it was befouled by the execution that was done here." He dares throw Ned Stark in my face? "We all regret that. Joffrey was young, and not as wise as he might have been. Lord Stark should have been beheaded elsewhere, out of respect for Blessed Baelor . . . but the man was a traitor, let us not forget." "King Baelor forgave those who conspired against him." - Cersei VI, AFFC

"These sparrows are especially outspoken," warned Qyburn. "The Red Wedding was an affront to all the laws of gods and men, they say, and those who had a hand in it are damned." - Cersei IV, AFFC

And yet Howland Reed had been one of Father's staunchest companions during the war for King Robert's crown, before Bran was born. - Bran III, ACOK

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Ride or die friend, until the end and beyond.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Even indigenous people from Sothoryos condemn House Lannister for those things.

The High Sparrow appears intent on toppling House Lannister.

Howland Reed is the man.

Ser Kevan was unmoved. "If that is your wish, you may soon have it granted. His High Holiness is resolved that you be tried for regicide, deicide, incest, and high treason." - Cersei I, ADWD

Galbart Glover rubbed his mouth. "There are risks. If the crannogmen should fail you . . ." "We will be no worse than before. But they will not fail. My father knew the worth of Howland Reed." - Catelyn V, ASOS

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Arya Stark and Lady Stoneheart aren't the only ones seeking justice around here.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Who doesn't want to bring down House Lannister? Moreover, his focus isn't solely on House Lannister. The man starts foaming at the mouth whenever he sees a brothel.

It's well-known that crannogmen favor trickery and stealthy tactics over open warfare.

He tried to recall all he had been taught of the crannogmen, who dwelt amongst the bogs of the Neck and seldom left their wetlands. They were a poor folk, fishers and frog-hunters who lived in houses of thatch and woven reeds on floating islands hidden in the deeps of the swamp. It was said that they were a cowardly people who fought with poisoned weapons and preferred to hide from foes rather than face them in open battle. - Bran III, ACOK

"We won't find them," the Frey boy said suddenly. "Not so long as the frogeaters are with them. Mudmen are sneaks, they won't fight like decent folks, they skulk and use poison arrows. You never see them, but they see you. Those who go into the bogs after them get lost and never come out. Their houses move, even the castles like Greywater Watch." He glanced nervously at greenery that encircled them on all sides. "They might be out there right now, listening to everything we say." - Theon IV, ACOK

"Once there was a curious lad who lived in the Neck. He was small like all crannogmen, but brave and smart and strong as well. He grew up hunting and fishing and climbing trees, and learned all the magics of my people." Bran was almost certain he had never heard this story. "Did he have green dreams like Jojen?" "No," said Meera, "but he could breathe mud and run on leaves, and change earth to water and water to earth with no more than a whispered word. He could talk to trees and weave words and make castles appear and disappear." - Bran II, ASOS

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Adopting a new identity to disrupt from within might suit Howland Reed well.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Making yourself one of the most powerful players in Westeros using the violent Faith Militant is anything but subtle.

The High Septon and his sparrows aren't very popular amongst the nobility.

Many in the Seven Kingdoms look down on crannogmen.

"Like as not," Ser Balman agreed. "Rosby's ward was not the only one to vex us, Your Grace. We encountered ruffians on the road as well. Filthy, unkempt creatures, with leather shields and axes. Some had stars sewn on their jerkins, sacred stars of seven points, but they had an evil look about them all the same." "They were lice-ridden, I am certain," added Falyse. "They call themselves sparrows," said Cersei. "A plague upon the land. Our new High Septon will need to deal with them, once he is crowned. If not, I shall deal with them myself." - Cersei V, AFFC

"Do not presume to preach at me," she told him. "The brothel keepers have been complaining, and rightly so." "If sinners speak, why should the righteous listen?" - Cersei VIII, AFFC

"Frogeaters don't smell like men," Frey insisted. "They have a boggy stink, like frogs and trees and scummy water. Moss grows under their arms in place of hair, and they can live with nothing to eat but mud and breathe swamp water." - Theon IV, ACOK

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Those are accurate statements.

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: How is this at all similar?

Howland Reed may have once disguised himself as a mystery knight.

"It was the little crannogman, I bet." "No one knew," said Meera, "but the mystery knight was short of stature, and clad in ill-fitting armor made up of bits and pieces. The device upon his shield was a heart tree of the old gods, a white weirwood with a laughing red face." - Bran II, ASOS

Why this confirms the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: Uh—

Why this doesn't confirm the High Sparrow is Howland Reed: That wasn't Howland Reed.

COUNTER-EVIDENCE:

Is this necessary? I know a lot can happen in 17 years, but these two men are clearly not portraying the same person.

Fine.

George R. R. Martin confirmed that Howland Reed would eventually make an appearance, implying that he hasn't already.

Question: It had been stated that Howland Reed would come out in The Winds of Winter, which is the 5th book. Will he still come in the 5th book (A Dance with Dragon)? Answer: He will appear eventually. - George R. R. Martin

The High Sparrow is an old man.

Howland Reed is not an old man.

The old man's eyes were chips of flint. - Cersei I, ADWD

He was still a scrawny grey-haired man with a lean, hard, half-starved look, his face sharp-featured, lined, his eyes suspicious. - Cersei I, ADWD

How old is Howland Reed? He'd be in his thirties. - George R. R. Martin

The High Septon and his flock of sparrows are clearly going to die in The Winds of Winter.

"They call themselves sparrows," said Cersei. "A plague upon the land. Our new High Septon will need to deal with them, once he is crowned. If not, I shall deal with them myself." - Cersei VI, AFFC

This is what comes of letting fools and cowards rule themselves. Next time, I will choose their master for them. And the next time might not be long in coming, if the new High Septon continued to annoy her. Baelor's Hand had little to teach Cersei Lannister where such matters were concerned. - Cersei VI, AFFC

No one was smiling now. The looks the sparrows gave her were dull, sullen, hostile. They made way but reluctantly. If they were truly sparrows, a shout would send them flying. A hundred gold cloaks with staves and swords and maces could clear this rabble quick enough. That was what Lord Tywin would have done. He would have ridden over them instead of walking through. - Cersei VI, AFFC

Are you a priest or a greengrocer? "And what might I do to make it . . . riper?" If he dares mention gold, I will deal with this one as I did the last and find a pious eight-year-old to wear the crystal crown. - Cersei VI, AFFC

The Kettleblacks, I need the Kettleblacks, I will send in Osfryd with the gold cloaks and Osmund with the Kingsguard, Osney will deny it all once they cut him free, and I'll rid myself of this High Septon just as I did the other. - Cersei X, AFFC

Cersei's gaze swept across the faces of the men behind him. And there he was: Lancel, her cousin, Ser Kevan's son, who had once professed to love her, before he decided that he loved the gods more. My blood and my betrayer. She would not forget him. - Cersei II, ADWD

Cersei would have him killed out of hand if she learned he was betraying her, and if by some grace of the gods she did not, Lancel would never survive the day Jaime Lannister returned to King's Landing. The only question would be whether Jaime cut him down in a jealous rage, or Cersei murdered him first to keep Jaime from finding out. Tyrion's silver was on Cersei. - Tyrion VII, ACOK

In fact, the High Sparrow is likely already deceased towards the beginning of The Winds of Winter.

"Whatever Cersei may have done, she is still a daughter of the Rock, of mine own blood. I will not let her die a traitor's death, but I have made sure to draw her fangs. All her guards have been dismissed and replaced with my own men. In place of her former ladies-in-waiting, she will henceforth be attended by a septa and three novices selected by the High Septon. She is to have no further voice in the governance of the realm, nor in Tommen's education. I mean to return her to Casterly Rock after the trial and see that she remains there. Let that suffice." - Epilogue, ADWD

↓↓↓

"How long do you think we'll be here?" "Longer than you'd like," the old man replied. "If he goes back without the gold the queen will have his head. Besides, I seen that wife of his. There's steps in Casterly Rock she can't go down for fear she'd get stuck, that's how fat she is. Who'd go back to that, when he has his sooty queen?" - Mercy, TWOW

Whoops! How'd that queen regain power?

Now we'll never figure out who Jon's parents are.

On a serious note, Howland Reed is neither dead nor on the brink of death, and he has a significant role to play in the upcoming books, none of which are related to religious fanaticism.

Other things to consider:

The High Sparrow isn't a good person, and his actions aren't commendable.

Howland Reed follows the Old Gods. It's a bit of a stretch to believe he could convincingly pose as a High Septon.

Howland Reed might be somewhat reclusive, but many people could recognize him. He participated in the Rebellion, and was at Harrenhal with numerous other nobles.

How do you even begin to devise this plan? "I'm going to wander the riverlands in the hopes of leading a religious uprising and becoming the voice of God, so I may avenge Ned Stark." Sure, okay.

What in the world? Why? How so?

STUMPY'S THOUGHTS:

If you think that's the craziest Howland Reed theory we're going to explore, just you wait.

VOTE:

I welcome discussions. Feel free to reblog, respond, or challenge my perspective—I won't be offended by any of it.

Please note, if "no" is the eventual winner, or if it's competitive, a second poll will be conducted to determine the proper location.

NEXT THEORY:

Tormund Giantsbane x Maege Mormont

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