Nobody:
absolutely nobody:
Enoch throughout the entire first two books anytime Jacob does anything:
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what the world needs but mphfpc
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Jacob : Oh my God! The ornithologist is a wight!
Golan : Not only that *Clears throat* end of the line Portman.
Jacob: No, how is it possible? Are you my bus driver?!
Golan: I'm just getting started. *clears throat again* Your trees need to be pruned, I can do it for cheap.
Jacob: How is this possible? Are you my gardener now?
Golan: Wait, I'm not finished yet *more clearing of throat* it was good to help you with your traumas Jacob.
Jacob: *simply in disbelief* my God, Are you my psychologist too?
Golan: Wait, here comes the big finale *last clears throat* hello son.
Jacob: MY GOD, FATHER??
Enoch: Please, someone give this man an acting Oscar!
Other peculiar kids: *applause for Golan*
Golan: *Bows in gratitude*
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Such a scrunkly little man
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do you think theres a ymbryne named Miss Tit or Miss Dickcissel
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can we talk about how jake and emmas main modivation in library of souls is "we need to find our freinds before the bad guys turn them into DRUGS" i dont know any other book where most of the main cast is in danger of being turned into DRUGS
i love these books
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I originally posted this on my Instagram spam but I thought it was too funny, not to share it here, so...😂
If Book Alma were a cat...
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Late to the party but 🫡 partners (gay) in crime
Caul has ??? on his sign cause no one can actually see him, but he’s still posing for the picture
YPJD stands for Ymbrynic and Peculiar Justice Department, I dunno I just came up with it for this 💀
Percy’s got his number from the original mugshot
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Mphfpc as real things my friend group has actually said/done
Millard: I swear if you make one more sex joke I will throw this book that contains three books at you
Hugh: penis
*throws book*
Enoch to Jacob: I swear if Your weren’t my “friend” I would strangle you in your sleep
Millard: do you really love me?
Hugh: we’ve been dating for 4 years
Horace: sometimes I wake up and decide I just want to be fancy today
Enoch: sometimes I wake up and choose to sit at home all day and do nothing productive
Emma: what do you think of my new hair cut I did it myself
Millard: DID YOU GIVE YOURSELF THE KAREN HAIRCUT come on girl your better than this I will personally shave your head
Jacob: can I swear
Hugh: Jacob your 17 why are you asking me this
Hugh *impersonating Fiona*: look at me I’m vegan I don’t eat meat and if your not vegan your homophobic and racist and a murderer
Horace: that’s so sad Alexa play empty chairs at empty tables
Enoch: Horace you don’t have an Alexa
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