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backwardsbread · 3 months

Text

Hazbin Hotel Characters:

~Marriage proposals~

Warnings‼️: genderneutral!reader, established relationship, characterxreader, lots of fluff, Valentino existing, mentions of cannibals/cannibalism, possessive behavior, pet names used, mentions of divorce, some swearing.

A/N: How would the Hazbin hotel characters propose! I might do a vise versa, where reader proposes. But this one is the characters proposing to YOU. Enjoy~!

This is pretty long- I don’t know how to find word count, but if anyone wants more, drop a request :))

?Semi proofread?

Lucifer:

This man is a NERVOUS WRECK.

When he realizes he wants to marry you, he lowkey panics. Starts acting like you guys just now started dating.

He’s super anxious, trying to impress you, and prove that he’s good enough for you.

(Whether he’s trying to prove that to you, or himself, is up for debate.)

The two of you met on a whim. You didn’t really know it was the king of hell you were talking to when you first met.

How could this be the king?? He was so goofy. His playful demeanor immediately drew you in.

With even learning about how Lucifer was, it didn’t stop those fuzzy feelings towards him that bubbled in your chest.

It took him a long time to even get into a relationship with you, due to him being caught up in his past with Lillith.

But overtime, your affection is what gets him through the tough days.

He gets all flustered and embarrassed at your sweet gestures, trying to hide the fact that he’s realizing he wants you to always only be his.

As we know, he had a previous marriage and that commitment failed him before. He had a right to feel nervous of the subject that once bruised his soul.

But in his heart, he truly knows this is what he wants. He wants to spend his eternity with you if you allowed him to.

When the thought has finally settled, and he knows he’s ready to try marriage again, it doesn’t settle his nerves.

This has to be PERFECT-

He needs the perfect ring, the perfect setting, the perfect outfit. All of which he had easy access to, he is the king afterall.

Yet, nothing seems to be perfect enough. Nothing is enough, nothing he can think of matches how strong his feelings are for you.

Once he thinks he’s decided on what will be perfect, he ditches the idea to try and come up with something better.

He consults Charlie on this issue a lot. Including her in this is very important to him. He makes sure she’s comfortable with the idea of him being married to someone who wasn’t her mother.

Charlie is a bit put off by the idea, it’s strange to think about. She never thought of her father getting remarried, but the thought doesn’t necessary upset her. She’s more worried about history repeating itself.

Overall, she wants her father to be happy, and helps him prepare for the proposal in any way she can.

(Mostly moral support because this guy is in emotional turmoil over this.)

He’s in a constant inbetween of if this was the right thing to do. Was it too soon in your guys relationship? Was it too soon after his divorce? Would you even want to spend the rest of your damnation with the one who started it all?

With heavy encouragement and reassurance from Charlie, he finally has the guts to ask you the big question.

But….. when he takes you out on the date where he meant to propose…

He chickens out. (Or ducks out haha)

“It is quite beautiful tonight.. you know I love you, right?……. Good! Yeah-! U-Uh-.. oh my golly! Look at the time! How that darn old thing does fly-Haha! W-We should head home!- boy am I tired-!”

Rinse and repeat this process a handful of times.

You do start to get a bit skeptical of your partners behavior. You guys had been going on extremely fancy dates at least once a week.

And while you had no complaints on spending time with Lucifer, you did notice his strange behavior.

The way his mood would incline before your guys’ date, and then suddenly decline when it was over. Then having to take the rest of the week to heal his pride.

It was just a big rollercoaster of emotions. You were starting to worry you were the cause of his stress.

(I mean. Technically you were)

During one of his many attempts in asking you, he had already internally given up when he stumbled over his words in the middle of dinner.

Your date was coming to a close, and like clockwork, Lucifer’s chipper mood deteriorated.

His shoulders slumped, he was pouty, and dragging his feet on the way back to the castle.

Before the two of you can enter, you grab Lucifer’s hand, stopping him. He gives you a confused look, posture straightening to look at you.

You give him small pecks all over his face, in hopes to cheer him up from whatever was troubling him.

Your actions have the affect you were hoping for, as he laughs and steals your lips into his own, a wide smile on his face as he rests his hands on your waist.

His nerves seemed to dissipate as he felt an overwhelming sense of security and love for you.

His body was moving before his mind could keep up. The moment just felt right.

He pulls away from your shared embrace, reaching into his pocket, and getting down on one knee. He opens the ring box, revealing the glimmering jewelry within it.

You look at him in shock and he returns the same look, surprised at his own actions. Well there was no backing out of it now- (saY SOMETHING LUCIFER-)

It takes him a few seconds to recover from the shock and he’s tempted to just pretend to tie his shoe. But you knew his intentions and watched the nerves wrack their way up his body once again.

Before he can even speak, give a speech he had rehearsed probably a hundred times in front of his mirror, you say yes.

And the relief that washes over this man— the weight that lifted off his shoulders in that moment— felt amazing.

You bend down with him, smiling ear to ear and chuckling as you realized this is why he was so worked up the past couple months.

Tears fill Lucifer’s eyes as he slides the piece of jewelry onto your ring finger.

You kiss away the tears that slip down his face and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

His tattered heart feeling stitched back together that day.

Alastor:

We all know Alastor isn’t the biggest on romance.

He’s a true gentleman, of course, but public displays of affection and intimate relationships weren’t his cup of tea.

The two of you had know each other for years in the afterlife, yet it was only recently you had put a label on your relationship.

Falling for you was never part of his plan.

He first saw you as an prey, only a possible soul he could claim for his ongoing collection.

But your sickening sweetness unfortunately grew on him over time. He once wanted to take advantage of it, but he became too fond of you to corrupt it.

You moved from his prey to his acquaintance.

You lived in cannibal town where he would frequently visit.

You join the gossip sessions with him and Rosie, indulging in their banter. It starts by you just walking by and throwing a comment towards their conversation you were listening in to. Eventually you had your own designated seat at their table.

Rosie definitely saw the potential the connection you and Alastor had, so she subtly pushes the two of you to hang out more.

This leads to your relationship advancing from mere acquaintances to good friends. The transition quick due to Rosie’s persistence.

Anytime Alastor would visit cannibal town, he would make effort to pay you a visit. He just felt so drawn to your company.

His smile felt less strained, his body would relax, and he could do what he wanted while you served up some fresh pinkie fingers.

There would be occasions of Alastor realizing he’s dropped his guard around you, and he would be snippy and aggressive those days. In fear of going soft and losing his mojo.

The first time he did this scared you,

(I mean obviously, the mans body grows two-ten times in his demon form)

But after a talk with Rosie about it, you tried to be understanding. Instead of falling away or distant with Alastor after his little tantrums, you simply waited it out. When he was back to normal asking softly if he wanted to talk about it or move on.

It wasn’t clear to you when you guys really started being affectionate towards one another. It just kind of happened.

You knew Alastor to be a gentleman before formally meeting him. So him linking arms with you, kissing your knuckles, holding open doors was nothing new.

It seemed like everyone besides the two of you knew the true feelings you two had for each other before you guys did.

You were holding hands, seeing each other everyday, Alastor would give you his coat to borrow on colder days, etc. Just small sweet gestures the two of you would share.

It took an incredible amount of time for Alastor to come to terms with his feelings. He hadn’t done this before and had no control of what his heart wanted. It was scary.

Putting a label on what you guys had didn’t seem necessary. The two of you knew what you meant to each other in an unspoken agreement.

(Rosie did eventually pressure him to actually ask you out however. It was the gentleman’s thing to do)

(But enough backstory)

More often than not, Alastor found himself spending his nights with you. Not to leave until the morning or midday after.

The two of you practically lived together when the overlord wasn’t too busy with other matters.

We already went over how the two of you weren’t big on labels. It wasn’t until Rosie asked that Alastor had even thought about marriage.

“Sooo… when are you going to put a rock on your pretty thang’s finger?”

“Hm? I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“What?? You’re kidding right? That darling and you have been together ages! You wouldn’t want someone else swiping them away from you, right?”

“Hah! Never going to happen. Who in their right mind would try that?”

“…”

“You do know where we are, right?”

It had never occurred to the Radio demon before. You guys had made your relationship official of course. Anyone else who would try and court you and take you away from him would be simply insane.

But the thought wormed itself into his brain and flourished.

The thought of not knowing what you were doing 24/7. The thought of someone possibly stealing you away without his knowledge.

The thought of some undeserving sinner having their hands on what belonged to him.

It irked him.

After that conversation with Rosie, say goodbye to your privacy. You’re not going anywhere alone. He can’t risk someone even attempting to steal you away.

It was irritating how he was always tracking you, keeping a shadow with you at all times.

If someone even dared to hold open a door for you that wasn’t him or his shadow, he’d show up at your side in an instant.

It made you anxious and overall, you felt your partner didn’t trust you.

You did express these feelings to Alastor, but your words seemed to phase right through him. You had no idea what had gotten into him to make him (even more) protective.

You joined him in bed one night, as he was stilling up, enjoying a book with jazz music emitting from his aura.

You cuddle close to him, the feeling of fuzzy static that enveloped you a comforter for your slumber.

Before you can let yourself drift off to sleep, your partner closes his book with one hand, the loud thump making you jolt.

“Say darling, what do you think of marriage?”

The sudden ask has you dumbfounded, giving him a deer in headlights stare. (Hah-)

He had never even mentioned marriage before yet here he was now, smiling at you as he waited for your response.

You give honesty, telling him you never really thought of it yourself and you were surprised to hear the idea from him.

You did mention how the subject didn’t draw you away. You knew you loved Alastor with your entire soul. Your heart and soul were his without one of his binding contracts.

Once he hears your approval he snaps his fingers making one of his shadows appear, holding out his signature red coat to him. He reaches into the pocket of his jacket, fishing out what he desired.

He pulled out a small box and handed it to you, his shadow dismissing itself from the scene.

You give him a confused look, before gently opening the box. Your eyes meeting the small band inside.

Oh- he was serious?????

You give him a puzzled look, while he just tilts his head at you, silently asking ‘too soon?’

Your eyes continue to track from the ring, to him, back to the ring, then back to him.

Your hesitation comes off as denial to Alastor, so he reaches out to take the box back. Before he can even lay a finger on it, you pull it to your chest protectively.

You give him a glare for even having the audacity to try and take this away from you. Your actions make him chuckle and hold his hands up defensively.

You slip the band onto your ring finger. Once it’s perfectly snug onto your digit, you pull your partner close to you, peppering his lips with small pecks. Scolding him in between your kisses for being so nonchalant.

He simply chuckles against your affections, telling you the ring will be a reminder you are always his.

And you wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Vox:

Vox is not one for settling down. No shot in hell.

Have you seen this man?? Holy hell take a chill pill.

A lot of Vox’s priorities lie with his work. He’s always pushing the boundaries of tech, eager to create something new and be on the face of it.

He never thought of dating. Being tied down to one person made him cringe. So the thought of marriage never even entered his system.

Then there was you of course. Messing up his plans.

How could he not fall for you? You were charming, beautiful, and down right too good for him.

(According to him.)

Your presence and the feelings you gave him made him feel threatened. He tried to put him a wall between the two of you, avoiding you at all costs.

But when he would look at his phone, seeing your icon pop up with messages to him. His fans would kick into gear, his cold heart ticking rapidly in his chest.

Yeah he had it BAD.

When you became a priority to him as well, it kind of threw a wrench in the balance of his schedule.

Yes he loves you but that fact scares him. He wasn’t exactly the safest demon to be around.

So he found it better that the two of you keep your relationship secret. Mostly spending early mornings and late nights with you.

It was difficult to manage. You wanted nothing more than to try hang out with your partner all day but he was always busy.

You would visit him at work, but on very rare occasion. You still owned your soul, which meant Valentino saw it as up for grabs, despite Vox’s warnings (threats) to not lay a finger on you.

As much as you enjoyed visiting your partner at work, you understood his reasonings for being uncomfortable with it.

Besides that, the chance of others seeing the two of you in public was way too high. You guys didn’t usually go on dates.

Your partner was more comfortable having you stay at home, having a double life without him. You lived with Vox, but outside of the time you two spent together, you had your own things going on.

Vox knew about it of course, he cares about you more than anything. He needs to know what’s going on at all times. And what you had going on outside of him was important to him.

He always has a screen pulled up in his monitor room while working. Just to see what you were up to.

The screen usually tracked a camera on you whenever you went out, it displayed your phone screen whenever it was in use, and showed your vitals on the bottom corner of the screen.

He didn’t trust the sinners that roamed these streets, rightfully so. Being able to track you gave him a source of comfort when he couldn’t always be around.

As mentioned before, going out on dates wasn’t really a thing. But Vox would usually clear up one day a month in his schedule. Just to spend the entire day with you.

(Of course he occasionally shuts down, checking how everything is going at V headquarters while he’s not around. Cant take this man entirely away from his work)

You’d spend those days cuddling, ordering in some takeout, and just catching up with each other. Getting in as much affection as you could.

The nights were soft and intimate. It was what you always looked forward to.

Vox had some things to do early morning on the day designated for the two of you. You did pout and complain to him, but he promised to be back as soon as he could.

Hours passed and you started to get a little bit peeved that your partner had yet to return home. Checking the time, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

You get dolled up, pack up a small container of snacks, and head to V’s headquarters.

Making your way through the crowd of demons and sinners. You head up the elevator, but it stops on Valentinos floor.

And with just your luck, the lustful demon is standing there, waiting to get on. When he sees your face, he grins wide and enters the elevator. Standing uncomfortably close.

He blows out his pink slut smoke into the small space, making you cringe and try to waft the stench away from you.

Valentino is touchy and that’s an understatement.

So when he bends down at your level, once again offering a job to you, your heart rate spikes.

Meanwhile, Vox is having a one sided argument with Velvette, the young overlord scolding him as she changed his outfit several times.

It wasn’t often Vox was used as a model for Velvette, but he had actually asked her ahead of time to design something special for you and him.

By ahead of time, he asked yesterday, not giving Velvette nearly enough time.

While he tuned out of his teammate reprimanding him, his watch buzzed, alerting him of your abnormal heart rate.

He gives a confused look, his screen going black for a second as he brought up his home security camera on his screen. When seeing you weren’t at the house, his eye twitched.

Where the hell did you go??

He was brought back, his face glitching in and out as he pulled out his phone, bringing up your location.

He saw how close you were and immediately thought the worst.

He zaps himself into the nearest camera, zipping through the electronics to find where you are.

Within a minute, he’s found you in the elevator, practically cornered by Valentino who was literally drooling on you.

The lights flicker in the elevator as it comes to a screeching halt. Cue your partner showing up with a crack of blue electricity, yanking Valentino away from you by the moth’s wing.

He puts himself in front of you, acting as a shield so you don’t have to be near Valentino’s poison.

“W̵̰̻͍̉̔̅̀̐͐͒͆̒̚ḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ǎ̴̯̀͠t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ f̵̢̻͈̫̬̻͔̘̞͈̆̇̍̈̌͊ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓c̵̛̥͊k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓ t̸̫̫̤͕̳̻̰̣̭́̌̉͝ͅḥ̸̨̧̗̮̖̽̂̓̀̍̋͋́̅̃͘͜͝i̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝k̵̘̺̦͉͖̪̪͖͉͊̆̔́̈́̍̃̈́͒̂̑̀̚͜͝ y̶͔͗ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅu̷̬̩̰̫͕̘͎̔́̃̄̍͋̓’r̵̡͕͈͚͍͍̼͕̍̀̈́̽̎̍͗̍́̏̚͜͠ë̸͓̮͉͈͇͍̖͎̩̞͈́́́̋̇̾͋̈́̾͆͑͘͘͜͠͝ d̶̡̲̗̼̮̤̤̳̲͖͓͍͔͓̓̎̽́̽̏̐͂̆͆͘͘͘ŏ̸̡̼̺̫̥̻͈̞̍͆̏̓́͜͝ͅi̶̡̹͈͎̳̞͙͖̾̂̀͑̀͆̑̓̽̉͐͘͘ͅǹ̷̨͍̮̥̹̘͙̗̻̬̬̜̥̮̃̒̈́̽͗̿̍̄̂̏͆͠͝ǧ̷̡̟̲̹̩̱͉̮̭͇͚̮̖̟̽̓͊̔̓̕??”

(What the fuck do you think you’re doing??)

Vox’s voice glitched out, muted TV static layering his voice as the fans whirled in the back of his head. In a desperate attempt to cool him down.

Valentino doesn’t give much of a reaction, putting his hands up in feigned innocence.

“𝒟𝑜𝓃’𝓉 𝓌𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝒱𝑜𝓍𝓍𝒾𝑒! 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝒻𝒻𝑒𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓂 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻-“

“You better watch your mouth.”

“𝒪𝒽𝒽, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓈𝓀𝑒𝒹 𝓎𝑒𝓉. 𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎 𝒷𝒶𝒹 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓈𝓅𝑜𝒾𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒷𝒾𝑔 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓈𝑒.”

Valentino speaks with sickening sarcasm. You look between the two, incredibly confused. Vox looks like he’s about to explode.

The lights flicker back on, and the door opens, Vox demanding his business partner leave.

The moth scowls at the both of you, before putting one set of hands on his hips, the other set of arms crossing across his chest. In the most sassy way possibly leave the two of you behind.

Vox waits for the elevator door to close before he can breath again. He’s muttering angrily to himself, one hand on either side of his screen as he tries not to blue screen.

You put your hand over his, his cold hand giving you a subtle shock of electricity as you touched him. You give him a concerned gaze, silently asking if he was okay.

Vox looks at you, shoulders relaxing just looking into your comforting eyes. Little bolts of electricity shoot out from the side of his screen as he tries to calm himself, his fans working overtime.

You set down the bag of treats you were bringing for him to hold his hands in your own. You give him a bright smile, concern not leaving your eyes.

You reassure him that whatever he had planned isn’t ruined. You could just pretend you didn’t know! You didn’t want this little run in to ruin your guys’ day.

You ramble on as he just stares at you, almost blankly, his screen fading from blue to a baby pink as he listened to you.

As you’re apologizing for causing trouble, he puts a hand up to stop your little speech.

He reaches into his pant pocket, pulling out a small halo shaped piece of jewelry. He holds your left hand in his own as he gets down on one knee in front of you.

I mean.. you knew he had a surprise planned, but seeing his actions didn’t fail to shock you.

He gives a little speech to you, stuttering and glitching over his words as he tries to explain himself.

For being a perfectionist overlord, this was one hell of a show.

He’s a blushing glitching mess, cursing to himself when he couldn’t find the exact words he wanted to say.

You grab the sides of his screen, looking him in the eyes and forcing him to meet your gaze. You’re saying yes before he can embarrass himself anymore.

He looks a bit shocked by your response, he can’t believe you said yes after that display he just put on. Before he can get the ring on your finger, he blue screens from shock and embarrassment.

You kind of chuckle and sit down beside your partner while you wait for him to reboot. Not like you could go anywhere with the elevator being stuck with the two of you inside. You do gently take the piece of jewlry, sliding it onto your finger and admiring its design.

Cuddling into Vox’s arm, you can’t help but smile brightly at the decorative piece snug on your ring finger.

It was perfect.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin alastor #hazbin lucifer #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #vox x reader #alastor x reader #lucifer x reader #alastor #the radio demon #lucifer morningstar #i swear I can write more characters #these are just my go too

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for making my mom’s boyfriend feel bad on purpose?

disclaimer: my parents have an open marriage

so i (20m, northern cheyenne) don’t have a problem with the modern celebration of thanksgiving.

really. i don’t.

the whole “pilgrims and indians” schtick is gross, but i find that generally, outside of elementary schools, nobody thinks about that part very much. people mostly just want to see their families and eat weird food. and i fucks w that.

the problem comes in with my mom’s boyfriend.

my mom (52f) is white, but she’s been married to my dad (53m) who is also northern cheyenne for 26 years. she’s the DEI coordinator for our county’s public school system and she’s one of my favorite most trusted shire people ever. so i never really have to censor myself around her. i can make jokes and complain and vent and etc etc etc. she’ll always listen.

her BOYFRIEND though.

i really do like my mom’s boyfriend (41m). he’s super cool, recommends good books, teaches me about plumbing, all sorts of other Manly Step Dad Shit (/hj).

but he is decidedly extremely caucasian. like so white.

he’s not /racist/ but he’s that in-between that a lot of white people are where they’re never mean, but you gotta watch what you say around them bc they bruise like a two week old apple.

there have been a few instances where i have in fact bruised his sensitive white man apple skin.

1) i was listening to a podcast with my mom about people indigenous to Hawai’i protecting Mauna Kea. we were listening to it out loud in our living room, and her boyfriend came in and listened for a few minutes before asking me to turn it off because it was “depressing”. fair enough. i figured he was having a rough day and i turned it off. (side note, it was All My Relations, “For the Love of the Mauna”.)

2) we were driving somewhere and trading off command of the AUX. i put on a song by Nahko and Medicine for the People, specifically their parody of “My Country Tis of Thee”. he again said he didn’t like it, it was depressing, and could I please turn it off. i did.

3) this is where i’m the asshole. we’re planning for thanksgiving, and i mentioned wanting to do a anticolonial thanksgiving. we’d watch some stuff about the wampanoag tribe (first contact tribe at plymouth rock), i’d make frybread and fried squash blossoms (along w my mom who would make the thanksgiving basics) we’d have a grand old time. her boyfriend asks why we can’t just enjoy thanksgiving without making it too political.

i’m like. that’s not political? it’s cultural?

and he says that to him it feels self flagellating and it would make him feel bad.

and i said honestly? the idea of thanksgiving’s history makes Me feel bad. and not to complain dude, but as an american indian, it’s always about you, and never, ever about me. so truly, i don’t care if you feel bad. we’re not doing a fucking colonized thanksgiving in this house. so if you’re just here for that sham bullshit, go and stay gone.

my mom says she agrees with me that an attempt at a decolonized thanksgiving is a good idea and a good compromise for our mixed family, but that i was way too harsh on her boyfriend and should’ve tried explaining in a kinder way first, since he’s really not educated on this stuff. i see where she’s coming from; i worry i might’ve scared him off of ever learning about cultural decolonization. ik it’s not my responsibility to make him care, but that doesn’t change the fact that plenty of white people are subconsciously looking for a reason not to care about natives, and by being a dick i might’ve just handed him that reason. so not only was i an asshole to him, but an asshole to my community at large by disservicing our reputation.

idk. i think i ruined thanksgiving :/

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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maddsmallow · 10 months

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" "con, don't you ever fuckin' relax?"

"lieutenant, i'm a machine. i don't need to 'relax'."

"oh fuck you, come on, we're on break. loosen up a little or something. you can chill out from your fuckin' mission for the three minutes it'll take me to smoke this cigarette. and shut your mouth before you go telling me it isn't actually exactly three minutes on average to smoke a cigarette or whatever."

connie closes her mouth. a small addition to her list of missions to accomplish is made: try to appear "relaxed" to appease lieutenant anderson. a raise in friendship means an easier partner to work with, so connie carefully inspects the lieutenant's posture and does her best to replicate it. being a machine of plastic and metal certainly doesn't make it easy. "

hankcon, but gorls. did i base hank off of my butch lesbian manager at my old job at a sex toy store who was covered in spongebob tattoos? absolutely yes i did

mostly i just wanted to portray fem!hank as a Large Woman because i think there is a severe lack of that. broad with muscle hidden under fat, like the kind of woman who does shot put. so uh,,, ms trunchbull basically LMAO. deep voice, raspy from smoking and drinking, all that good stuff 😩👌 also peep the button on her jacket hehe

got some headcanons and stories for them under the cut!

-hank wears cargo shorts 100% of the time. no matter the weather or temperature. like, 'bill and ted at prom in shorts, but it's her at a dpd ceremony in cargo shorts' level. but not actually because i'm totally gonna draw her in a pantsuit later, totally not with connie on her hip in a slinky dress 👀

-also yes hank's shirt is a spongebob reference

-when people ask hank why she goes by hank and not her "real name," (which i like to headcanon is "henrietta") she always says, "oh it's actually a really funny story, i'll tell you later," and the later never comes lmao. or, if she does tell you, it's some made up wacky story that actually has nothing to do with giving herself the name hank. the real reason? she just likes it

-speaking of "henrietta," this story, 'if you know where to look' by ghost_teeth, works so fucking well with a lot of my headcanons about how their characters would be like genderbent! highly recommend it, and all their dbh stories honestly!

-connie has a compact gun (i asked my brother for examples and he said sig p365 or springfield hellcat, which i think work perfectly for this) holstered inside her jacket on the left side. also, i'm stealing this idea from this post (which basically almost has the same design for fem!connor (altho like, most designs for her are basically the same lmao)) but she also has a knife strapped to her thigh

-her skirt is actually made of some super high tech flexible and durable material, and she's got specific programming to make her balance crazy good, since she'll be running in heels. she's made to hunt and pursue deviants so obviously she needs to be able to run and jump. the outfit is only made to appear like a standard "business woman" to blend in with the humans she would be required to work with, but otherwise gives her everything/doesn't hold her back from doing what she needs to complete her mission. here's a bonus conversation i had with @extraordinaryandroid about it lmaoo:

-hank met connor-51 first for the ortiz case, but connie-52 (with 51's memories of course) came in the next day when it was announced they were to be officially paired to investigate deviants. cyberlife has their grubby lil hands in everything so of course they knew their RK800 unit would be paired with this lieutenant anderson before basically anyone else, and deemed that she'd get along better with a "female model" that she would find attractive. which of course has hank like WOW that's super weird and gross of y'all! and i fucking hate that it's working you pieces of shit at cyberlife !!!! but ofc connie's like "im a machine i dont even have a gender" all the while hank's sweatin major thirsty bullets

-at the cyberlife tower, connor-51 is the one to hold hank at gunpoint. how did he get hank to trust him? idk i haven't figured that out yet lmao, but the angst of connor-51 essentially taking the place of -60 from the game in the sense that he's clearly deviant in some capacity, in this context being that he feels connie stole the life he deserved (which he'd never admit) and now wants to suck up to cyberlife and be their best boi to feel important and special again and not knowing they'd just throw him away for the RK900 model, is very good imo. that was a very long sentence so i hope it made sense lmaoo. have i worked out all the details of how all that shit would work in a story? absolutely not, im too busy thinking about butch fem!hank making her robo girlfriend bluescreen in the bedroom 🤪

also if ur wondering wtf the background is, idk. my usual plain color gradient was too simple, but i did NOT want to put in the effort to do a whole ass real background, so i settled on something in between. meh, it's just them hagin' out behind the station on a smoke break ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consider supporting me on ☕! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

#detroit become human #dbh #hankcon #detroit: become human #d:bh #fem!connor #fem!hank #connor rk800 #hank anderson #fem!hank anderson #dbh genderbend #conhank #hannor #dbh fanart #dbh connor #dbh hank #idk what else to tag this as #my art #the blogger says words

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mothdapple · 10 months

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Pinestar is Rusty’s Father AU

I know there’s no way I’m the first person to come up with this AU, but it’s been stewing around in my brain for a while (like the Smudge!Scourge AU) so I wanted to talk about it! The AU really intrigues me mostly because I see a ton of new possibilities for interesting dynamics between Firestar and Tigerstar. So here’s a break-down of how I’d imagine it playing out book-by-book for the first arc, going over where I see deviations from canon. (Long post below!)

Book 1

Rusty is born to Nutmeg, but his father is Pine (the former Pinestar) instead of Jake. Rusty is an only kit and Pine is very protective of him. Pine lives nearby and visits him often, even after Rusty is given to a new home, and plays an active role in his life. (However, Nutmeg lives further away, or she and her humans move, leaving Pine and Rusty only with each other.)

Pine warns Rusty about the forest and the dangers of the Clans. He does not tell Rusty that he was once a leader, but he does admit to having been a ThunderClan cat named Pinestar. However, Pine had grown tired of the Clans’ pointless fighting and chose to leave. Despite Pine’s overall negative view of the Clans, Rusty is a very curious kitten (who is also getting forest dreams, sent by StarClan) so is only intrigued more by Pine’s warnings. The main thing Pine speaks fondly of in ThunderClan is his former mate and kit, Tigerkit, wondering if they are okay. Because Rusty is an only child, he is super interested at the thought of having a brother. He imagines Tigerkit to be the strongest, best warrior in all the Clans. However, Pine remains very insistent that Rusty never go into the forest, and Rusty reluctantly promises him he won’t.

Pine is very old however, and when Rusty is around 6 moons old, he dies. Rusty is devastated by the loss of his dad, and he becomes quite lonely. He longs for more family, but he is unable to visit Nutmeg. Rusty’s StarClan forest dreams keep getting stronger too, adding to Rusty’s discontent. Feeling like he no longer belongs in the twolegplace and after convincing himself that he is no longer bound to his promise to his dad to never go in the forest (since Pine has died,) Rusty leaves his home to go join ThunderClan, wanting to find his long-lost brother, Tigerkit.

Rusty runs across a ThunderClan patrol led by Bluestar, and she allows him to come with her back to camp, mostly because of his pelt color matching with the “fire alone will save our clan” prophecy (which Bluestar and Spottedleaf still receive in this AU.) But Rusty’s reception in ThunderClan is less than stellar. Rusty eagerly announces that he wants to join the Clan because his father was Pinestar, a ThunderClan cat. However, he is quite shocked as ThunderClan is disgusted by this, viewing him as the son of traitorous leader who abandoned his Clan. (So Rusty now has to deal with that added baggage, in addition to being a kittypet.) Rusty is saddened that ThunderClan views his father so negatively. Rusty had no idea that his father was once leader, and the Clan’s opinion of him doesn’t match up with Rusty’s memory of his father as a noble cat who just wanted to live out his old age in peace. However, the entire Clan is so insistent about Pinestar being the worst, Rusty starts to doubt his own memory of his father, thinking he might have not known Pine as well as he thought he did. But, Rusty wants to work hard to prove himself to them, and also in a way, clear his dad's name by becoming a good Clan cat himself. Rusty is renamed Firepaw, but is not given a proper mentor because Bluestar declares that because of his heritage and kittypet roots, he will be in a probationary period where he has to prove himself worthy of being a true ThunderClan cat.

Also, of course when Firepaw joins, he is so excited to meet “Tigerkit,” asking about him right away. Firepaw is super impressed by Tigerclaw’s strength and size. Naturally though, Tigerclaw wants nothing to do with Firepaw. He is disgusted by the reminder of his weak, pathetic father (especially because Firepaw so strongly physically resembles Pine.) Despite Tigerclaw’s cold and sometimes outright cruel demeanor, like with the rest of ThunderClan, Firepaw is still determined to prove himself to him. He continues to admire Tigerclaw regardless of his poor treatment of him.

After a little bit of time passes in which Firepaw trains, Tigerclaw does seem to come around to Firepaw, and he starts acting warmer to him. After “testing” him in some dangerous situations, Tigerclaw has realized that Firepaw is more competent than he first believed, and Tigerclaw is smart enough to see that Firepaw's blind admiration could be used to his advantage. By exploiting his love, Tigerclaw is able to manipulate his naive little brother in almost however way he wishes. Tigerclaw and Firepaw “grow closer.” This results in Firepaw seeing being the best warrior he can be and strictly following the code to a T "just like Tigerclaw,” as the best way for him to shed the shadow of his heritage and become a great ThunderClan warrior.

Because Firepaw admires Tigerclaw so much, it takes him way longer than in canon for him to realize anything bad about Tigerclaw. Tigerclaw had still killed Redtail, and Ravenpaw witnessed it. Ravenpaw tries to warn Firepaw that Tigerclaw is dangerous when he sees his friend growing closer to him. Ravenpaw even gets desperate enough to eventually try to tell Firepaw about the murder, but Firepaw thinks Ravenpaw must have been mistaken. There is no way Tigerclaw would ever raise a claw against his own Clanmates!

Because Ravenpaw is never taken to shelter in the barn by Graypaw and Firepaw, Ravenpaw is quietly murdered by Tigerclaw, permanently silencing him. Firepaw is greatly sadden by Ravenpaw's sudden death but of course suspects nothing of Tigerclaw. Firepaw also becomes better friends with Dustpaw and Longtail thanks to Tigerclaw's influence. After Ravenpaw’s death and Firepaw completing the probationary period, Tigerclaw is even named Firepaw's official mentor, allowing Tigerclaw to sink his hooks in even more deeply.

Because of Tigerclaw’s influence, Firepaw does not help Yellowfang when he finds her on their territory. Instead, he and Tigerclaw chase her off ThunderClan land as they would for any trespasser. This results in ThunderClan being without a medicine cat when Spottedleaf is killed by Clawface. Bluestar is deeply distraught by this development, and starts to lose faith in herself and in StarClan. Bluestar feels as if the “Fire alone” prophecy is ThunderClan’s only hope, and she pins it all on Firepaw being the chosen one. This results in her starting to show clear interest in him over the other apprentices. This does not go unnoticed by Tigerclaw, although he doesn’t know why Bluestar is so interested in Firepaw.

Lionheart dies in the fight that drives Brokenstar from ShadowClan and Tigerclaw becomes deputy of ThunderClan after his death, like in canon. Fireheart and Graystripe also earn their warrior names, but Sandstorm and Dustpelt had gotten theirs first (Tigerclaw insists on Firepaw receiving thorough training, even though Bluestar seemed eager to make him a warrior as soon as possible.) Book 1 ends with Fireheart (unknowingly) firmly under Tigerclaw’s paw, and Tigerclaw appreciating more and more the benefits of having his half-brother’s undying loyalty, especially with Bluestar being so fond of Fireheart.

Book 2

With Brokenstar driven out of ShadowClan, Fireheart is picked out by Bluestar and Tigerclaw to go retrieve WindClan. However, Sandstorm (not Graystripe) is picked to accompany him at Tigerclaw’s insistence. This is a careful calculation on Tigerstar’s part. Almost all of Tigerclaw’s biggest supporters are the younger warriors. Fireheart and Graystripe are good friends, but Tigerclaw thinks Graystripe is a bit of a buffoon. He believes Sandstorm to be much more competent, and although Sandstorm deeply respects Tigerclaw, she has never gotten over her disdain for Fireheart and his soft kittenhood. Fireheart is Tigerclaw’s most loyal follower, and Tigerclaw wants a united group of allies, so getting Sandstorm to at least tolerate Fireheart is critical to that.

Neither Fireheart or Sandstorm are happy about being paired together for this mission, but they inevitably bond over the course of the journey to get WindClan and come back. By the end of it, there is even a spark of romantic tension between the two. Tigerclaw is quite pleased that his plan worked so well when they return.

Fireheart is shortly after given Cinderpaw as his first apprentice (thanks to a suggestion by Tigerclaw to Bluestar, who is happy to favor Fireheart due to the prophecy.) But, Cinderpaw is hit by a monster and gravely injured. ThunderClan is still without a medicine cat, so Cinderpaw is taken to WindClan for treatment. Because WindClan feels indebted to ThunderClan for retrieving them, Barkface is happy to care for Cinderpaw in repayment. As Fireheart grieves over his injured apprentice, Tigerclaw is there to comfort him. Tigerclaw reveals that Goldenflower is expecting his kits when he promises Fireheart one of them to train as a new apprentice.

While Fireheart had been gone saving WindClan, Graystripe had started his affair with Silverstream. When Fireheart discovers it, he is very upset, even more so than in canon due to his apprenticeship under Tigerclaw. Fireheart and Graystripe have a huge falling out over it, and Fireheart puts the final nail in their friendship’s coffin when he rats out Graystripe to Tigerclaw, telling him what he knows about Graystripe’s illegal relationship. Graystripe is punished (not as much as Tigerclaw would have liked, but Bluestar has a soft-spot for cats caught in cross Clan relationships, who’d have thought.) Meanwhile, Fireheart grows closer to Dustpelt, Sandstorm, and Longtail, integrating fully into their friend group and leaving Graystripe on the wayside.

Cinderpaw survives her injury and decides that she’d like to be ThunderClan’s medicine cat. She stays in WindClan for the time being, still recovering but also starting medicine cat training under Barkface.

Like in canon, Brokenstar and his rogues attack ThunderClan’s camp, but they are defeated. Brokentail is blinded by Fireheart, and Bluestar decides to keep him prisoner rather than execute him immediately.

Book 3

Despite Graystripe’s punishment, his desire to see Silverstream isn’t totally killed, and Fireheart catches him in the act of meeting with her again. Silverstream is now pregnant, and Fireheart explodes at his former friend. He and Graystripe start arguing about how RiverClan is "evil" for all the fighting over Sunningrocks and the ThunderClan cats who have died there, with Fireheart spouting a lot of Tigerclaw's talking points. Silverstream gets angry and cuts in that that RiverClan has lost cats in those battles too. In response, Firestar says something about how Tigerclaw was just avenging Redtail by killing Oakheart. This is when Silverstream drops the bomb of "what are you talking about, Oakheart died in a rockfall."

Fireheart rejects her words in the moment, but they still linger over the next few weeks. Of course he wants to believe Tigerclaw’s story over hers, but this in combination with what he was told by Ravenpaw before he died plants the first seeds of real doubt in his mind. Fireheart almost wants to go back and ask Silverstream for more details, or proof to back up her claim, but before he can, Silverstream dies giving birth. Goldenflower takes in her kits to care for alongside her newborns (Fireheart’s niece and nephew.)

WindClan and ShadowClan find out that ThunderClan is harboring Brokentail. In response, Barkface stops training Cinderpaw, who returns to ThunderClan, putting ThunderClan in a difficult position. They really have no reason to protect Brokentail, but they will look weak if they bend to WindClan and ShadowClan’s demands to hand him over. RiverClan has also demanded that ThunderClan give them Silverstream’s kits. Bluestar is paralyzed by the threats from all the other Clans and with ThunderClan still not having a fully trained medicine cat, she is growing more paranoid about enemies and illnesses and becoming convinced that StarClan has abandoned her Clan. Tigerclaw urges Bluestar to kill Brokentail but also strike against WindClan or ShadowClan preemptively— both Clans are still recovering from Brokenstar, and it would be much easier to take them on separately than if they band together. Fireheart agrees with him, saying that ThunderClan cannot afford to look weak. But, Bluestar cannot make a decision, so she does nothing.

WindClan and ShadowClan attack ThunderClan’s camp, and ThunderClan is saved by the appearance of a RiverClan patrol who had conveniently come at the same time to retrieve the kits. But, the fight is a humiliation for ThunderClan— being attacked by two Clans in their own camp and requiring RiverClan’s assistance to drive WindClan and ShadowClan out. During the battle, Brokentail retreated to the empty medicine cat’s den to hide. Once the fighting is done, Fireheart goes inside to get him, only to see Tigerclaw standing over Brokentail’s wheezing body, blood all over his muzzle. Brokentail dies in front of him, and when the shock finally dies down, Fireheart asks Tigerclaw why he did it— Bluestar had not ordered them to execute him. Tigerclaw argues that Brokentail had only brought ThunderClan problems, which Bluestar had been too indecisive to solve, so he took matters into his own paws. No one will know it was him anyway— Brokentail could have easily died in the fighting. Fireheart is a bit troubled by Tigerclaw’s disregard of Bluestar’s orders and his duplicitous means, especially given his newfound doubts about Oakheart’s death, but Fireheart agrees with Tigerclaw’s assessment of Brokentail. He easily agrees to keep quiet about it.

Graystripe decides to give RiverClan his kits and leave with them. Fireheart has one more conversation with his former friend before he goes. Graystripe has grown more wary of Tigerclaw recently, especially after seeing his influence on Fireheart. He warns Fireheart that he’s changed from the cat that Graystripe used to know, and to not let Tigerclaw turn him into someone he’s not.

Book 4

Bluestar’s mental health takes a steep decline after the attack. She is now showing signs of dementia in addition to her paranoia. But ThunderClan at least has a fully trained medicine cat again. Thanks to Tigerclaw’s negotiations with Crookedstar about the return of Silverstream’s kits, Mudfur agreed to finish Cinderpaw’s training, and she is now Cinderpelt.

Tigerclaw is more or less running ThunderClan single-handedly at this point, with Bluestar staying mostly in her den. Tigerclaw is also using Fireheart as his righthand man as a sort of pseudo-deputy, sending him on errands and trusting him to organize patrols when he is busy with other things. Fireheart is pleased his brother has so much trust in him, but he is still has questions about what happened that night Oakheart died. He attempts some investigating of Tigerclaw to further tease out the mystery of what really happened in the battle where Oakheart and Redtail died, but without an eye-witness (like Ravenpaw was in canon,) Fireheart isn’t making any headway. This isn’t helped by the fact that he still loves and admires Tigerclaw, so he is not at all sold on the idea that Tigerclaw is actually bad.

But, Tigerclaw is indeed still manipulating Fireheart and using that to ask him to do some seemingly harmless favors. One of these favors is interacting with Brokenstar’s rogues, who Tigerclaw had gathered up just outside of ThunderClan territory. Tigerclaw talks Fireheart into believing that these rogues were misled by Brokenstar, but they can be truly good, loyal warriors, if given a second chance. Fireheart is unsure, but he trusts Tigerclaw enough that he does not argue with him about it.

Then the rogues launch an attack ThunderClan. Their scents and pelts are disguised with mud, but Fireheart has gotten to know them well enough by now that he recognizes some of them anyway when he gets close. Fireheart is shocked that the cats he and Tigerclaw had been helping betrayed them. Worried about Bluestar’s fragile health/mind, Fireheart rushes to her den to see if she’s safe, but it is already too late. Bluestar is dead and Tigerstar stands over her body, blood dripping from his fur. He tells Fireheart that he tried to save her but got here too late and the attackers killed her. The battle ends and the attackers vanish back into the night as quickly as they came, having also killed Runningwind and Brindleface. No one in ThunderClan knows why these cats attacked, or even who they are, but Fireheart knows. And he knows that Tigerclaw knows.

Fireheart is extremely confused and feels betrayed by Tigerclaw, not understanding why he hasn’t said anything to Fireheart about Brokentail’s rogues having been the ones who attacked them. But, seeing the fragile state of ThunderClan, he resolves to wait to speak to Tigerclaw. He remains silent in public about it as Tigerclaw comforts the mourning Clan. Tigerclaw wants to leave to go to the Moonstone right away, but Fireheart insists they speak privately first and Tigerclaw finally relents. Fireheart tells him that he knows those cats were Brokenstar’s rogues; the cats Tigerclaw has been having him bring food and messages to. Tigerclaw does a good job gaslighting the heck out of Fireheart, insisting that he must be mistaken. Fireheart’s confidence is shaken (maybe he did make a mistake? But they looked so familiar.) Still though, Fireheart has other doubts about Tigerclaw. He wants to ask if he was also mistaken about Tigerclaw being alone in the den with Bluestar, with blood on his muzzle, just like how Tigerclaw was alone in the den with Brokentail. But, Fireheart stays silent for now. He doesn’t want to say the words aloud and give such a horrid thought life.

Tigerclaw adds in charm and manipulation to his gaslighting. He “comforts” Fireheart, saying that it’s completely understandable that Fireheart’s stress and grief was getting the better of him and making him think he saw something that’s not there. But, Tigerclaw reassures him that while Bluestar’s death was terrible and tragic, it really perhaps ended up being for the greater good. Bluestar made their Clan weak, but Tigerclaw will make ThunderClan powerful, strong, and safe again, especially “with Fireheart at his side.” Having no solid evidence of Tigerclaw’s wrongdoing beyond knowing that Tigerclaw knew Brokenstar’s rogues somehow, Fireheart remains quiet, but the unshakeable trust he used to have in his brother has been broken.

Tigerclaw prepares to leave for the Moonstone, but not before he names Fireheart his deputy (seemingly to reward his loyalty, but also to keep a close eye on him.)

Book 5

Tigerstar returns to ThunderClan as their new leader, and Fireheart begins his role as deputy, although he feels like he’s constantly keeping an eye on Tigerstar. Fireheart wishes he had someone to confide in about his concerns about him, and he starts to miss Graystripe. Although Fireheart has close friends in ThunderClan like Dustpelt and Longtail, and a blossoming romance with Sandstorm, he knows they are all too loyal to Tigerstar for him to bring up his doubts. Fireheart starts to feel isolated.

Tigerstar, however, is well liked as a leader in ThunderClan. The Clan is shaken after Bluestar’s death and the vicious, mysterious attack, but Tigerstar promises to keep ThunderClan safe. He increases patrols and there is no hint of any dangerous cats in ThunderClan’s territory or nearby, reassuring almost all of ThunderClan.

Fireheart receives more and more intense dreams from StarClan. Throughout the previous books, they have been in contact with him this whole time, telling him that he is destined to right the wrongs of his father. Fireheart had previously thought they meant that they wanted him to be a great warrior of ThunderClan, like how Pine could not. But, in this book, Bluestar finally appears to tell him to his face that no, that’s not what StarClan means— they mean that his destiny is to stop Tigerstar. She tells him that StarClan always knew Tigerstar would harm ThunderClan. Pinestar had the power to end Tigerstar before he began, but he was too weak to do so. So now Fireheart had to fix his father’s mistakes. Fireheart puts 2 and 2 together and realizes that she is telling him that StarClan ordered Pinestar to kill his own kit, and even though Fireheart has his own doubts about Tigerstar, he is horrified by this. He argues that his father did the right thing by not killing an innocent child, but Bluestar says that Tigerstar is NOT innocent. Fireheart gets angry and says that Pine disobeying StarClan and leaving ThunderClan is proof that StarClan cannot control a cat’s destiny, so why couldn’t Tigerkit have grown into a better cat, and why can’t Tigerstar change his ways now? So far he’s been a decent enough leader of ThunderClan. Bluestar becomes furious, but the dream fades before she can say anything else. Fireheart wakes up, still wary of Tigerstar but determined to not follow StarClan’s orders to murder him in cold blood. He has seen good in him, so there may be a way to save him even if StarClan gave up on Tigerstar as soon as he was born.

A fire tears through the forest, and Tigerstar loses a life or two futilely trying to save some of the Clan’s elders. Fireheart sees this as proof of the fact that there is good in Tigerstar, and that he truly cares about ThunderClan. Maybe he really has been acting in the best interest of his Clan this whole time. Maybe Fireheart really had been mistaken about what he thought about the rogues and Bluestar. (Or maybe, even if Tigerstar killed Bluestar, maybe it was necessary for the good of ThunderClan. Maybe she really was too weak and leading ThunderClan down a bad path.)

ThunderClan shelters in RiverClan territory after the fire. Crookedstar is weak/ill and it is clear to Fireheart that Leopardfur will be leader soon. He notices that she and Tigerstar spend a lot of time alone together (an almost uncomfortable amount of time.) Fireheart wonders what Tigerstar is up to, and he also notices how uncomfortable Goldenflower also seems about the situation. Fireheart tries to awkwardly reassure his sister-in-law that he doesn’t think Tigerstar is interested in Leopardfur “like that.”

Fireheart is also happy to see Graystripe again, and the two strike back up a tentative friendship. Graystripe says he’s sorry to hear about Bluestar and asks how things have been now that Tigerstar is leader and Fireheart deputy. Fireheart considers telling Graystripe his doubts on Tigerstar, but because of the fire and his Bluestar dream, he decides against it, instead just saying things are good. Graystripe knows Fireheart well enough to sense him holding back. He doesn’t press, but he says that he’s willing to be there to talk with Fireheart if he ever needs it.

ThunderClan returns back to their camp and starts trying to rebuild. However, Fireheart is stunned when Tigerstar suddenly comes back to camp the next day with Brokentail’s rogues. ThunderClan is immediately on edge about this, but Tigerstar introduces them to ThunderClan as loyal cats who want to find a home in a Clan again. ThunderClan is hesitant about them joining, but Tigerstar tells the Clan that they need help rebuilding after the fire, and the cats have promised to work hard.

Fireheart recognizes one of the rogues as someone that he saw at ThunderClan’s camp the day of the attack. Despite Tigerstar’s masterclass gaslighting, when Fireheart sees this cat, he knows in his bones that he witnessed this cat kill Brindleface. At the first chance he gets, Fireheart gets this cat alone, corners them and tells them that he knows they were there during the attack, threatening to tear them to shreds if they don’t tell him why they attacked the camp. After enough beating up/threatening, the cat spills that Tigerstar had promised the rogues a place in a Clan again if they staged a fight against ThunderClan, but that’s all they know. Fireheart’s head is spinning after this revelation, but he is still desperate to cling to the idea that Tigerstar was still somehow acting in ThunderClan’s best interest. Fireheart asks them that if Tigerstar told them to stage the fight, then why did the cat kill Brindleface, Tigerstar’s Clanmate? The cat shrugs desperately and responds that Tigerstar ordered them to make it “convincing.”

Book 6

Fireheart is shaken to his core after the rogue’s revelation, all the fragile barriers of denial and optimism he’d put up in his mind about Tigerstar crumbling down. He realizes the full implication of everything— Tigerstar probably did kill Redtail like Ravenpaw said, and then Fireheart knows he killed Brokentail, and then he had the rogues attack camp so he could likely kill Bluestar, not caring about his other Clanmate casualties in the process.

But, Fireheart knows that Tigerstar can’t learn what he knows yet; not until Fireheart knows what to do with this information. Fireheart threatens to kill the former rogue if they don’t stay quiet about this conversation, and they promise they will.

A few days pass with the rogues helping and hunting for ThunderClan, and the Clan grudgingly accepts them into ThunderClan. Fireheart meanwhile, has been spending the days ruminating. Should he just reveal Tigerstar’s actions to ThunderClan and put the judgement in the paws of the Clan? Should he talk to someone one-on-one about it first? Should he talk to Tigerstar about it?

Before Fireheart decides anything, a Gathering happens, and ShadowClan doesn’t show up. Their elderly leader, Nightstar has seemed weak lately, but an entire Clan being absent is odd. The day after the Gathering, Tigerstar announces that he is taking a patrol to ShadowClan because he is “concerned” about their neighbors. Fireheart is brought along on the patrol with a group of Tigerstar’s most loyal followers, including the former rogues.

The former Brokentail rogues guide them to ShadowClan’s camp and they find the Clan in shambles from illness, which they are just now finally recovering from. ShadowClan is far too weak to do anything to the ThunderClan cats, but they are not pleased that they are there at all. The ThunderClan cats realize that Nightstar has died, and so Tigerstar imposes himself/ThunderClan under the guise of “helping” leaderless ShadowClan. He orders the ThunderClan cats to hunt for ShadowClan before they leave. Tigerstar also orders the stronger ShadowClan warriors to leave for ThunderClan camp with him so they don’t also get sick from their other Clanmates. ShadowClan protests that they can’t leave their sick Clanmates behind, but they are convinced by Tigerstar and the former rogues (their old Clanmates) that Tigerstar has their best interests in mind. (And besides, they are too weak to fight back.) Tigerstar leaves some of the old rogues in ShadowClan to keep the sick ShadowClan cat’s “safe” (guard them) and to hunt for them, and ThunderClan leaves.

On the trek back to camp, Fireheart talks to Tigerstar and protests this course of action, saying that ThunderClan needs to worry about itself and healing from the fire, and not with ShadowClan. Besides, taking even the healthy ShadowClan warriors back to camp may risk exposing ThunderClan to illness. Tigerstar shuts Fireheart down by snapping at him to stop questioning him, and he knows what’s best for ThunderClan.

ThunderClan has mixed reactions to the new ShadowClan cats in camp. Even Sandstorm is questioning things despite her loyalty to Tigerstar. Fireheart knows now he must talk to someone about his worries with Tigerstar, but he still fears Sandstorm is too close to their leader. He seeks out Graystripe on the border, and confides everything (what’s going on currently with ShadowClan and what Tigerstar has done in the past) to him. Graystripe believes him since he’s been wary of Tigerstar for a while (he was Ravenpaw’s friend too, and wonders to Fireheart if Tigerstar could have “silenced” him.) Graystripe is very worried for his old Clan, but he tells Fireheart he can’t do anything to help. Crookedstar died and Leopardstar is now leader. Leopardstar doesn’t like Graystripe so he has to keep his toes in line if he wants to stay in RiverClan. Graystripe urges Fireheart to tell ThunderClan the truth, but Fireheart despairs that in comparison to Tigerstar, he is still a “kittypet” and the Clan will always believe Tigerstar over him. He has no witnesses for anything besides the rogues who attacked the camp, and they are likely more scared of Tigerstar than him, so they’d stay quiet. Graystripe tells him to have more faith in himself and his Clanmates.

Tigerstar begins to integrate ShadowClan into ThunderClan more, until there is no more ShadowClan. Tigerstar declares their joint Clan by a new name, TigerClan, promising a glorious new era for the forest.

Many cats are troubled by this but are too scared or too influenced by their peers to speak up. Fireheart is becoming more and more troubled as Tigerstar starts to show more tyrannical traits. It doesn’t help that Fireheart’s sleep is constantly disrupted. His dreams are haunted by annoying StarClan almost every night, sending frantic messages and pleas for him to stop Tigerstar. Despite his connection with Tigerstar, Fireheart is on board with stopping him now, but he doesn’t know how to go about it.

Fireheart tries one final appeal to his brother, hoping the cat he used to believe in was still in there somewhere. He talks to Tigerstar privately, laying his cards on the table. He tells him that he knows that Tigerstar always has ThunderClan’s best interests at heart, but ThunderClan is meant to have its own identity— they are meant to be separate Clans. It is wrong to join with ShadowClan. Fireheart begs him that it’s not too late, Tigerstar can still change course and be the amazing leader for ThunderClan Fireheart knows he can be. In response, Tigerstar’s paw flashes out, hitting Fireheart across the face so hard, he’s knocked to the ground, seeing stars. As Fireheart lies there in a daze, Tigerstar snarls that he is a great leader, and if Fireheart ever questions him like this again, Fireheart would no longer be deputy, and he’d be lucky to still even be a TigerClan cat.

Fireheart knows now it is past the point of no return. Tigerstar announces a new alliance with Leopardstar, having RiverClan join the TigerClan fold. Tigerstar seems to have realized he may have pushed Fireheart too hard, though, since he changes tactics. He is back to acting reasonable, trying to spin the action as something good for Fireheart since it will reunite him and Graystripe, and it will prevent more fighting and bloodshed between the Clans if they are united. Fireheart agrees with him, knowing he has no choice but to do so. On the inside, though, the gears have started turning. Fireheart fears he may be running out of time to reveal Tigerstar’s crimes to everyone. He is so powerful now that he is at the helm of three Clans. How could Fireheart ever hope to stop that?

After spending some time carefully judging Sandstorm’s attitude on the whole thing, Fireheart finally confides in her everything that he knows about Tigerstar. To his immense relief, Sandstorm has enough doubts in Tigerstar and enough love for Fireheart by now that she believes him and is horrified. She wants to announce everything to everyone immediately, but Fireheart tells her that they need to be careful since Tigerstar is so powerful with so many allies (Leopardstar and the former rogues mostly.) Sandstorm points out that Fireheart used to be Tigerstar’s most staunch ally, so, like him, cats may change their mind if they trust them enough to tell them the truth.

Fireheart finally agrees with Sandstorm, but he thinks they still need to gather more supporters before they say anything, just in case. The pair (plus Graystripe in the old RiverClan camp) start looking around for more disaffected cats. They are easy to find in ShadowClan, Russetfur emerging as the natural leader of the group, and Graystripe has some luck with a few in RiverClan as well. However, Fireheart and Sandstorm are having a lot of trouble trying to navigate their Clanmates who are naturally the most loyal to Tigerstar.

Meanwhile, Tigerstar continues to escalate. He announces his plan to unite all the Clans in TigerClan, and starts threatening WindClan to join them or else. Regular battles against WindClan begin, but Tallstar learned from Brokenstar and WindClan turns to guerrilla warfare to survive. WindClan moves completely underground in the tunnels, where no other Clan can follow or find them. They only come out when it’s safe to hunt or to launch winnable attacks against smaller TigerClan patrols before retreating back into the tunnels.

Tigerstar grows increasingly frustrated and angry at WindClan’s holdout. WindClan’s ability to navigate through the tunnels and appear seemingly everywhere throughout the forest is also making him paranoid. This just gets worse when Tigerstar catches wind of the stirring rebels. He starts capturing and killing “traitors” (although his focus is suspiciously focused on half-Clan cats.) This includes RiverClan’s former deputy Stonefur (who was really in the forming rebel group) but also cats Tigerstar just does not like, or Tigerstar finds rude/spoke out of turn. Not long after the executions begin, Tigerstar also orders Mistyfoot, Graystripe, his kits, and Russetfur to be imprisoned for treason. It is obvious that they will all be executed.

Fireheart finally decides he cannot wait any longer. He sends Sandstorm to take a desperate message to WindClan to ask for their support, and tells the rest of the rebels to ready themselves. As Tigerstar assembles all of TigerClan to hold the trials/executions of the prisoners, Fireheart jumps forward to interrupt Tigerstar’s rant about the traitors. In a heartbroken speech, Fireheart announces all of Tigerstar’s crimes, accusing Tigerstar as the real traitor and tyrant. Fireheart says that he used to admire Tigerstar so much, but he has spent seasons lying to him, and ThunderClan, and everyone. Tigerstar has betrayed the very nature of the Clans by attempting to conquer them all and killing his Clanmates, and must be stopped. Once Tigerstar recovers from the shock of Fireheart suddenly standing against him, he snarls for someone to seize his brother. But as Tigerstar’s loyalists head towards Fireheart, the rebels leap from the crowd to protect him, yowling for the rest of the cats to join them in overthrowing Tigerstar.

Absolute chaos breaks out, with some cats joining fighting on the side of rebels, others staying loyal to Tigerstar, while others simply flee, not wanting to be in the fight at all. It is brutal, with Clanmate against Clanmate fighting at times, and neither side making much progress until slowly it seems the Tigerstar loyalists are gaining the upper hand. But, the tide is turned as Sandstorm arrives with WindClan in tow for back-up.

A bloodied and injured Tigerstar finds Fireheart in all the fighting, determined to kill him for causing all this. But, Fireheart doesn’t attack, instead telling him to end it and order his loyalists to stop. The fighting is only hurting everyone, with Clanmate against Clanmate, and TigerClan is now outnumbered and has clearly lost. Tigerstar furiously snarls that he hasn’t lost until they’re all dead, and he’s lost every nine of his lives. Tigerstar launches himself at Fireheart, and they fight. Fireheart is unable to overpower his brother alone (for emotional reasons but also just because Tigerstar is a beast even when injured) but Sandstorm and Russetfur come to his aid and together they kill Tigerstar. The fighting ends with his death and the capture of Leopardstar, who remained loyal to him.

Once the dust settles a grateful ShadowClan goes home, making Russetstar their new leader. Leopardstar is exiled, and Mistystar takes her place as leader of RiverClan. ThunderClan tries to piece themself back together after Tigerstar’s death, and despite it all, Fireheart still grieves for his brother. Fireheart goes to the Moonstone, where StarClan thanks him for righting the wrongs of his father and saving the Clans. Fireheart retorts that he didn’t do it because of StarClan’s prophecy, but he did it because protecting his Clanmates was the right thing to do. But, Fireheart still believes that cats should be free to make their own destiny regardless of what StarClan says. Despite Fireheart’s back talk, StarClan still grants him his nine lives and it concludes with Firestar becoming leader of ThunderClan.

And that’s the end! I’m curious to hear any thoughts on this, so leave a comment if you’d like. And, by the way, I don’t think I’ll ever write any fanfic for this AU myself, but if this inspires you to want to create something, go for it! Just please credit me in someway if you stick really closely to my outline, and let me know about it regardless because I’d love to see it :)

#There’s probably more details I want to add to this but it’s so long already #Pinestar is Rusty’s dad AU #Tigerstar and Firestar brothers AU #warrior cats au #firestar #tigerstar #pinestar #warrior cats

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blackheart-6 · 1 month

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noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

#art #my art #digital art #deltarune #noelle holiday #deltarune noelle #age chart #age progression chart #progression chart #finally did this #(i mentioned doing it awhile ago)#im kinda mixed on my feelings about this #but if yalls wanna know about that i talk all out it!#this took forever lol #also #trans #transgender #trans noelle #gotta love transbian noelle ^^

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strawbrygashez · 1 month

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Andre hcs bc he’s underrated 🗣

•While he will listen to Cals grunge & borderline emo music and finds himself enjoying it here and there, he loves aggressive music a lot more. Anything u could mosh too really. His favorite genres are industrial metal & nu-metal.

•If he was a little more confident in himself and wasn’t worried about being picked on for yet another thing, he’d dress a lot more metalhead-y if he could. I imagine his style would be a mix between mallgoth, metalhead, and some military aesthetics thrown in there. (I shared a hc that cal was talking about working at hot topic before and this kinda ties into that lol. I think andre really wanted him to get the job so he could have a excuse as to why his wardrobe was getting more alternative. Yknow? Like since Cals working there and he goes to visit him when he can, why not browse around a little?)

•He self harms mostly when he’s angry. He’ll hit himself/his head when frustrated, punches stuff, picks his skin, and burns himself occasionally. He also cuts too but not as much as Cal does. He makes sure his cuts actually look like cat scratches that Mel could have gave him.

•(somewhat not really a hc/basically canon) He has a couple mental disorders but his parents kinda have no idea. He keeps things going on in his head to himself. Even Cal didn’t realize how bad off Andre was until Andre began to really trust him. Seeing that Cal obviously had his own issues (the sh scars) made it a lot easier for Andre to share his problems. As emo/stereotypical as it sounds, he really didn’t think anyone would ever get him in the same way Cal does.

•Andre is just full on GAY. He kept that note that girl gave him ages ago because it just made him feel happy and flattered. When he burns it, he only does so because he feels like he needs to fully rid himself of anyone but Cal. (Bc let’s be honest, there really wasn’t any point of him burning it otherwise? They wanted to get rid of things like CDs, books, and games so the media couldn’t blame what they did on stuff like that. I don’t get how the media could have tied the little love note to what they did.)

•He really thought he’d be a dog person until he met a actual dog as a kid. He didn’t like how hyper the dog was & that it kept jumping on him. That’s why when his parents saw it seemed like Andre was becoming lonely sometime in middle school, they got Mel. He bonded super quickly with her.

That’s not to say he won’t give a dog attention & play around with it. He just prefers cats over dogs any day of the week.

•He likes going on walks a lot. Especially if cal comes with. He likes finding places that seems like no one else knows about. I think he’d be SO thrilled if they found a abandoned old tree house. He repairs it up a little bit, adds some things inside and then declares it the army of twos meeting place. (even if they actually rarely meet there lol. They r more likely to be at each others houses but they spend some nights, share secrets, plan things and whatnot up there.)

•He’s not shy really when speaking but words do get caught in his throat and he can be kinda awkward & can’t really read the room when he’s with a big group of people.

Yknow that “he asked for no pickles” meme? That’s Cal saying that with Andre behind him to me.. Andre just prefers not to speak unless it’s absolutely necessary (with people other than Cal) or if someone pissing him off.

•He can take just about anything apart and put it back together again. He fixes Cals siblings toys all the time. He even fixes their bikes too. But he can do more complex things like taking apart a computer and all that.

•He doesn’t have many memories from when he was in Germany. He remembers some relatives and just random odd things here and there but he mostly only has childhood memories from his time in the US.

•He cusses, shit talks under his breath, calls Cal both sweet and mean names all in german.

-He doesn’t do it as much as a older teen but when he would forget the word for something in English he’d say it in German.

-The first time he said I love you to Cal was in German since he knew Cal probably didn’t know what he was saying. Like I said he also calls him names too which Cal and Rachel would try to figure the translation for later online. If it’s something romantic, Cal always would go “Haha yeah this definitely wasn’t what he said.”

•He looks up to Cal so much and is jealous of him. He loves that Cal lets himself be more vulnerable & all cheeky/boyish. Andre for some reason or another feels the need to come off as the strong, more masculine and mature one of the two around others. He likes that Cal expresses himself through sappy shit like poems & music. Andre has it in his head that he always needs to bottle everything up which results in him being quick to get angry and lash out.

That last part is why he was always so annoyed by Rachel. He couldn’t find it in himself to even tell Cal that he doesn’t want him spending time with anyone else though it’s honestly pretty obvious lol.

#zero day #andre kriegman

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chrisrin · 5 days

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hiya chris! just finished rising moon earlier today, and wanted to thank you for sharing it :D it was such a fun read, I adored the characters, and it both brought out the old warriors fan in me and also had fun original content I liked!! but I just had to come ask. frostdance. skywish. the possible transgender allegory there. any thoughts from the author side because I was thinking about it while reading

bro you have no idea it's crazy that i came up with a vaguely trans allegory story at nine years old I WONDER WHY. I WONDER.

something about how there are certain characters who insist on calling her by her old name, something about how when she gets her old body back she takes a mix of both the names to bring out it's own identity (frostdance -> skywish -> skydance). it's not even that her being a cat is her transition "gender" if we're digging into the trans allegory, because she wants to be a wolf. that's the body she belongs in, being a cat makes her uncomfortable and disadvantages her among peers. but she also takes advantage of it, she also uses it for her own benefit. she utilizes how she presents in the situations she's in to get the upper hand (with the two-legs mostly). it means though that she constantly has to prove herself, has to prove she's still strong despite her form. it's not a direct trans allegory, but i think there's definitely a queer lenses it can be read in and i think that's super fascinating and if/when i revisit touching up the story or revising it i think i'd have a fun time exploring that more.

it does make me a bit batshit and i DID think about it very much when i re-read it. i just also find it sooo amusing i came up with it as a plot when i was a kiddo. egg moment!

#chris talks #rising moon

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frvnkcastles · 1 year

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hi bestie i have a fic request if you’re taking them :) one where frank and reader have been seriously dating for a while and they’ve both started to think about marriage but haven’t discussed it together. so i’m thinking frank asks out of the blue after being nervous and acting weird for a couple days, he says something like “i ain’t asking yet, but if i asked you to marry me, would you say yes?”

but if you’re not taking requests or if this doesn’t inspire you, please disregard and have a super nice day!! 🥰🌷🌟

NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: When your friend’s wedding comes up, Frank is convinced he wants one with you.

Warnings: Mentions of loss, mostly just fluff, feminine nicknames

Word count: 2k

Author’s note: This was actually a half-finished fic I had written a few years ago and this request inspired me to adapt it a little bit and finish it :) I hope you like it <3 I would marry this man in a heartbeat.

Ever since your and Frank’s two friends had announced they were getting married, he had been rewinding back to how it had felt for him. The domesticity, the joy of calling his wife, well, his wife; the relief of having someone by his side through thick and thin. That last part still rang true for him — you were his rock as he was yours, and it was for that reason that he reflected upon his first marriage with fondness and nostalgia, instead of the usual misery and regret. It still hurt, but as he watched you fill out the RSVP card and giddily talk about getting to take part in your dear friend’s wedding… yeah, that softened the blow.

In fact, it made him think of something he had long ago given up on. Revived some old dream he had buried, brought back feelings he hadn’t expected to ever feel again. Because of you. And as he watched you sit on the floor in front of him, rambling on about the kind of dress you’d be wearing, he couldn’t help but suppress a smile — not just at the idea of you in that dress, but the fact that you were all his. Awkward rambles and all.

And my God, was he all yours.

The more he thought about gathering up the courage to ask you to marry him, the more nervous he became. He was usually so unwavering and confident, but it was no news that next to the women he loved, he was just a puppy dog. He was far from scary or menacing — he was just a man in love, hoping the woman of his dreams wanted to spend the rest of her days with him the way he did, too.

Still, he had hoped you wouldn’t notice. But apparently, he wasn’t as good at hiding it as he thought.

You first picked up on something on his mind when he was watching you try on your dress for the wedding. You were rambling about the details on the dress when you realized that even for someone quiet, Frank was being exceptionally silent. You looked at him through the mirror, only to find him smiling at you from across the room, dark eyes focused on you yet his attention not quite there.

”Baby?” you spoke up, ”you okay there?”

Clearing his throat, Frank nodded and wiped the lovestruck smile off of his face. ”Just fine, sweetheart. You look really pretty, y’know that? Could stare at you all day”, he noted, making you blush and forget all about the worry embering in your heart.

He was good at deflecting, making you flustered with genuine but calculated compliments, and changing the subject when you tried to poke. But as endearing as his longing gazes could be, you noticed he got quiet when you showed him pictures of your friend’s wedding ring, and again when you decided to get in the right mood by watching your favorite rom-com.

Finally, when you were listening to the playlist your friend had sent over, and Frank seemed to grow uncomfortable yet again, you decided to be brave and approach the subject head-on.

”Hey, you know you don’t have to come with me, right?” you pointed out, and with his eyebrows drawn together, Frank looked over to you from across the couch where you were both seated.

”You don’t want me to?” he questioned, seeming a little dejected, so you rushed to grab his hand.

”I want you there. But I can tell this might be a little much for you, and it’s no wonder. It’s okay to be sad, my love. Don’t push yourself too hard, okay?” you pleaded, and with an affectionate smile breaking on his face, Frank pulled you in so he could kiss your temple.

”It ain’t that, I promise. Sure, it’s, uh… a reminder, I s’pose. But right now, ’m just feelin’ real lucky to be here with you, aight?” he reassured you, and even though you seemed hesitant to believe him, you nodded.

”I want to be there with you”, Frank added.

And indeed, when the day of the wedding arrived, you were the only thing in his sights. You looked breathtaking in the lilac dress and he made sure you knew — and when you returned the compliment at his suit with a cheeky joke, his heart made a somersault in his chest. You were radiating with joy and love all day long, yet at the same time you had taken on so much responsibility to ensure your friend would have a smooth celebration, and that all the guests would feel at home. You were a natural and it warmed Frank’s heart even when you rejected his help with a kiss and told him to get a drink.

That was what he did, his gaze still stuck on you as you danced with one of your mutual friends’ kids across the venue. A soft smile tugged on his lips as he watched you shed the jacket he had given you so you could move easier, your laugh easy to pick out even through the music and chatter. You were his whole focus, always.

Chuckling, Frank then finished his beer before striding across the floor and over to you. He’d have to wait until later to make his plan come true, but until then, he was desperate to hold you close to him.

”Mind if I cut in, buddy?” Frank rasped at the little boy you had been twirling around, and although he seemed reluctant, above all he was intimidated by the burly man by your side suddenly. Quick as that, the kids vanished from around you and you couldn’t help but giggle while turning to Frank who instinctively slid his hands across your hips to reel you into his chest.

”It’s mean to scare kids”, you pointed out teasingly, well-aware that children adored him — he was a dad through and through, but there was no doubt that for the sake of stealing you all to himself, he had put a little extra meanness into his stare.

”What can I say, sweetheart”, he whispered into your ear, his smile touching your cheek as he leaned into you, ”I get jealous easily.”

You laughed at that, and it only widened Frank’s grin as he dropped his forehead to yours and swayed side to side with you. You were shorter but you were managing to hold onto his neck, nearly on your tiptoes as he took the lead and moved you across the floor in gentle, tender movements. His firm chest felt like a safe place and his arms around you put a smile on your face — almost as big as the love in your eyes as you shyly beamed up at him.

You couldn’t help but notice him glancing around while you kept dancing, his hands just the slightest bit shaky instead of their steady selves, and a frown deepened your forehead. ”Are you okay, baby? You seem… nervous, again”, you pointed out, and quickly looking back at you, he nodded.

”I’m okay, sweetheart”, he insisted before leaning foreard to kiss your forehead. ”Hey, I love you. With my whole damn heart, you know that? Ain’t no one I’d rather be dancin’ with right now”, he went on, and feeling you tense up in his arms, he emphasized his own words, ”no one.”

You nearly shed a tear at that, and even though they didn’t hold as much meaning coming from you, you returned the sentiment. ”Me either”, you hummed into his chest, ”I love you so much, Frank.”

More than one song passed with him just holding you, thinking of how lucky he was, the occasional careful kiss pressed into your hair while you clung onto him. It was warm and safe and you wouldn’t have changed a thing for the world.

Only when the midnight hours were rolling in, the crowd was beginning to dismantle and the happily new-weds were officially sent off to their honeymoon. As you watched their car drive away with all their loved ones waving them off, you couldn’t help but tear up — in response, Frank took your hand and held it as tight as you needed.

Not much later, people were turning to you to thank for a job well done before leaving in their own rides. Frank could have sworn you were an angel, smiling at each and every one of them and wishing them a safe journey home. Eventually, there was no one left but you and him and the clean-up crew, and just as you faced Frank to tell him your feet were killing you, he interjected by simply standing there.

He was holding a big bouquet of different colored roses in his hands, looking absolutely gorgeous with his dark eyes and white shirt and shy smile as he eyed you up and down. It wasn’t until he was handing over the flowers that you realized it wasn’t a dream, and upon recognizing the bouquet, you gasped.

”Oh no, did she forget—”, you started, wondering if the bride would have loved to have her flowers with her, but cutting you off, Frank shook his head while urging you to take them.

”Nah. It’s for you, sweetheart”, he stated simply, and when you gave him a curious smile, he chuckled. ”She, uh, she let me have it. She was gonna do the whole throwin’ thing, y’know?” he went on, and again, you gasped.

”Oh, I knew we forgot something!” you huffed, and chuckling, Frank scratched the back of his neck.

”No, no, uh… I asked her if I could have it. See, uh, she’d throw the bouquet to see who gets married next, yeah?” he tried explaining, and when you nodded, he broke into a flustered smile. ”Guess I just didn’t wanna take the chance you’d miss”, he finished, and at that, your smile dropped and you glanced between the bridal bouquet and him with disbelief.

”I ain’t askin’ yet… but if I did, would ya say yes?” he continued, fiddling with his hands nervously while waiting to see any reaction on your face. For a second, he wondered if it had been a terrible idea, but then your eyes started welling up and your hand flew to your mouth as you fidgeted and looked at the flowers and then back at Frank whose eyes lit up with excitement and relief.

”You’d really… you’d have me?” you whispered, your voice fragile as you reveled in the fantasy of standing like this with him some day — face to face, you in a dress, him in a suit with flowers in your hands and the moonlight above you.

”Hell yeah, sweetheart. If you’d have me. ’Cause I fuckin’ adore you. More than words can say, but you, uh, you… you make me feel alive. And happy to be alive. I can’t imagine a single day without you”, he sighed, and with a vigorous nod, you leaped forward to wrap your arms around him.

”Yes”, you cried out before pulling back just to kiss him, ”yes now and every day after this one. Whenever you want to do it… my answer will be the same.”

Grinning, Frank hugged you tight and closed his eyes while squeezing you. The two of you rocked back and forth in one another’s arms, silent apart from your sniffles, until you spoke up. ”This explains why you’ve been acting so weird lately. You’d really think the big bad Punisher would be better at staying calm under pressure”, you joked, earning a snort from Frank.

”Hey, this was really fuckin’ important. I wasn’t sure, y’know?” he shrugged while letting go of you enough to cradle your hands in his own and look into your eyes.

”Awww, Frankie”, you smiled up at him, ”you had no reason to be nervous. I’m completely and entirely in love with you.” With love twinkling in his eyes, he leaned into seal the distance between your lips, kissing you deeply. He stole your breath away, as he always did.

”Thank you for always bein’ patient with me. I know it ain’t always easy to be with me… but I hope it’s worth it. I’mma make it my mission to make sure of that”, he swore while resting his forehead against yours, and with another smile, you nodded.

”You’re always worth it, Frank.”

#frank castle #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader

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66germs · 9 days

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Vinsmoke Shipping Week Day 1!

(Super stressed about sharing these, but here we go!)

YonCose - Immortal x Mortal

Okay, so I’ll admit I was on a bit of a block on that one, so it isn’t REALLY an immortal but like close enough, can’t die of natural causes yk? And I was out of ideas.

I was brainstorming and the song Kokoro came onto my playlist and I just went ham afterwards (That’s why I added the number on Yonji’s arm huaha). It isn’t great, but this was the basic idea;

CW - Angst stuff? I think?

The Vinsmoke siblings were androids made by Sora and Judge who are both scientists, so the lack of emotions is taken very literally in this universe. Sora got attached to her silly robots, so she wanted to find a way to program emotions into them or something, so she started tinkering with them (Sanji probably being the main test, I’m thinking of making Reiju more like a cyborg) and working on the whole emotion ordeal. Judge wasn’t too pleased by it as all he sought was war machines and found it pointless for them to feel things, so Sora was ‘put out of the way’.

Years later, Cosette, who’s also a scientist in this AU, finds Sora’s old lab and the file and is instantly mesmerized by her work and decided to pick up where she left off in secret. When she wasn’t working on it, she’d try to befriend the Vinsmokes and try to get them to react to or understand basic things humans enjoy. Yonji being her more frequent victim as he was sent out less often than the others (was having his mods worked on for his arms), so much that it became like a routine for them. Cosette didn’t have much friends, so she found enjoyment in speaking to him even if he didn’t get the point of needless conversations.

“Strangely”, Cosette didn’t come one day, and for some reason that is beyond his understanding, Yonji went looking for her, probably because he got used to the routine. He found the file as well, and as for the rest well… I’m leaving it here, hehe. Have fun with that

On another sillier note!

ReiKiku - Cute Meeting!

I made this one silly because I could hardly motivate myself to draw them properly, so this counts as cute, right? (Okay, I might have a weird definition of cute)

In my AU, I have this silly cover story where Germa goes to Wano (MADS related stuff probs I’m mostly just focusing on having fun) and all the siblings are meant to keep a low profile and all got gradually seperated (Reiju being first). Kiku and Reiju run into each other and Kiku feels absolutely horrible about it while Reiju is just fine and decides to calm her down by simply asking for directions around the place and just having a chat with her. Both talk about their relatives and all (ueueu).

At some point, they spot a cocky Niji who is causing a ruckus with some other samurai. Things were going a little far and Kiku swung faster than Reiju could even think. Kiku realizes that it was her brother and starts freaking out, meanwhile Reiju just realizes she isn’t better than her brothers when it comes to women.

Yeya! That is all.

#yonji x cosette #YonCose #ReiKiku #reiju x kiku #vinshippingweek2024 #vinsmokeshippingweek2024 #vinsmoke yonji #one piece yonji #yonji

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eflen-n-reegee · 7 months

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Regressors Riley Anderson and Emotions Headcanons (Inside Out)

Suggested by anon; they didn’t specify a character, and I had ideas for both Riley and the emotions, so… Ya get both! 😁

Riley

Riley learns to love San Francisco, but she still misses her life in Minnesota. She finds that when she’s especially missing her old life, she starts acting like a much younger kid. At first she’s confused and a bit embarrassed, but when she tells her parents, they reassure her that if it helps her to feel better, it’s okay. After that she feels more comfortable about her regression and starts to truly enjoy it.

At first, before she knows about what regression is, she calls it “San Francisco preschool”; she loved her preschool in Minnesota, and she’s re-exploring some of that joy and security in her new town.

She’s rather clumsy when she’s regressed, often ending up with scratches and covered in rainbow bandaids.

She loves skating and hitting the puck around, but she doesn’t have the attention span to actually play hockey.

She’s extra silly, making ridiculous jokes and acting completely goofy.

She LOVES drawing, and the fridge is completely covered in pictures.

Her absolute favorite regression foods are dino nuggets and ice cream.

She is CONSTANTLY singing. Little Riley has a song for absolutely any situation.

She’s a pretty sensitive kiddo; it doesn’t take much to make her cry. Fortunately, it also doesn’t take much to cheer her up again.

She doesn’t like to tell people about her regression, but she does want a friend to play with. As it turns out, another girl on her hockey team also regresses and is very open about it, and she and Riley become regression buddies.

Riley’s mom and dad completely encourage play dates and nurture the heck out of both girls.

The Emotions regress in order to help Riley regress, and while they mostly embody different parts of her regression, they do have a few traits Riley doesn’t.

Joy

She is the hyperest kiddo that has ever lived, constantly bouncing and running and playing and laughing. Every once in a while she collapses in a nap, but then she’s right back to being a wild child.

She’s super excitable. Absolutely everything is amazing to her, everything is cool, everything is fascinating. She just loves the whole world!

She is VERY bossy of the other emotions, even more so than she usually is. She wants everything to be exactly “right” at all times, and only her definition of right will do.

She loves playing games. Any game at all is fun for her!

She frequently calls up specific memories and plays alongside the memory version of Riley.

Sadness

She is the “oldest” out of the emotions, and tends to look after the others to a certain extent.

She experiences verbal shutdown when she’s regressed.

She is the biggest napper out of everyone. She can doze off anywhere.

She’s very cuddly and loves to snuggle the others.

She really doesn’t care about playing, but she likes to line toys up and admire them.

Fear

For Fear, being regressed means seeing everything as an even greater threat. Being small and helpless means absolutely anything could be dangerous!

But, on the other hand, being regressed means he’s especially trusting and so can be calmed down much more easily. If the others tell him something is safe, he’ll believe them almost immediately.

He LOVES to be swaddled. Being wrapped up is one of the most calming experiences for him.

He also likes being talked to. The subject doesn’t matter, he just finds voices soothing.

He surrounds himself with familiar items and finds a lot of comfort in identifying them and exploring their textures.

Disgust

She is SUPER bratty, and very demanding. You never need to wonder whether she likes something because she’ll tell you if she doesn’t.

(On a related note, she’s the pickiest eater out of the group.)

Despite her brattiness, she actually needs a lot of reassurance. She feels really self-conscious about regressing and needs to be told frequently that it’s okay, she’s still the coolest, etc.

She is the most fixated on having regression gear. The others could take or leave pacifiers and bibs, but for Disgust, it’s VITAL she “looks the part”.

She loves to tease the others, especially Anger.

Anger

He’s the biggest mischief kiddo. He loves making messes and playing tricks.

His absolute favorite activity is building towers and knocking them down - but he gets enraged if they fall before he’s ready.

The biggest advocate for fairness - and by “biggest” I really mean “loudest”. Even if it’s a situation where he gets the better deal, he’ll yell “THAT’S NOT FAIR!” and correct it.

Out of the emotions, he’s the one who most enjoys playing by himself. He’s not interested in any group games.

It actually takes a lot to get him into full tantrum mode, but when he gets there, watch out. Endless screaming, throwing things, fire everywhere - it’s a lot.

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archivalofsins · 10 months

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So, this was meant to be posted on the day of the Anniversary, but I got distracted with other things. However, this is still the first year I've participated in an Anniversary. Woohoo! Even though it’s the third it’s the first for me! Zero three what a time to jump in am I right. Pretty convenient given the first long post or theory I made was on a certain number prisoner and given how much I talk about them.

This is super late because life pulled a life. Still had a very fun time during the anniversary though! This is not the Mikoto Tarot- That’s in Star’s court now.

Today we're going to be talking about the notorious five Yuno, Futa, Mahiru, Kazui and Kotoko.

These five seem to be paired up in promotional images often. So i wanted to dive into why I think this is, what they have in common, and what it means for the other five prisoners not within this group! I'll be going over what we know about them all so far, their similarities, and *gasp* their cover songs. Because I don't subscribe to the idea that the cover songs have no meaning.

At one point I was discussing the topic of them being shown together, mostly regarding an indirect murder theory involving these five. I believe it's a rather well known one within the fandom, but I will quickly summarize it.

The theory sets out to proclaim and find evidence that supports the idea of Milgram being broken down into two groups of murderers. One group of five having killed directly and purposely while the other five have killed indirectly and accidentally. It uses the grouping of these five in promotional images along with other information regarding those prisoners to support this framing.

Now, I don't have much to say about this theory because it's not mine and I don't make a habit of cutting down other's theories. If it's a fun and interesting way for someone to look at the content then that's all that matters. I'm only bringing it up because it is the conversation that sparked my interest in this group of prisoners.

I initially stated that there are a lot of possibilities as to why these five would be grouped together outside of this possibility.

One of my examples was how all their cover songs since the beginning of Milgram have been about one-sided relationships that have gone sour. This is a common factor between the five of them.

However, a second reason is two of the five people involved in this group have admitted to being the most like two of the other people within it. Futa previously stated that Kotoko was the prisoner most like him and Yuno has stated that Kazui is the prisoner most like her.

This makes it possible that they are being grouped together in promotional imagery to highlight they have similar mindsets. Displaying them close to each other is a good way of hinting at this without downright saying it. However, Milgram has downright said it as well.

Even though Yuno has admitted to being like Kazui and Futa has admitted to being like Kotoko there are similarities they share with the rest of the members of this group. So, let's talk about all the members of Group A (ACCIDENTS OH NO!) before getting into Group B (BLUDGEONING ON PURPOSE!).

This is a bit of a joke. However, it's not meant to poke fun at anything but pay homage to the theory that's the entire reason behind this post.

Yuno

Kashiki, Yuno

Upon her incarceration at Milgram Yuno was only eighteen years old. Now she's twenty-one going on twenty-two. Possibly born in 2001 she's a rather difficult prisoner to get to know. She likes to keep her information hers but she's not standoffish or cold by any means.

She's the best at reading the mood and has been a source of entertainment for a lot of the prisoners, knowing exactly how to indulge them on a personal level while being extremely observant of any shifts in the atmosphere.

There are a few things that make her tricky to deal with but the things that do are landmines. Her observation skills can make her difficult for the older residents of Milgram to handle. Because she quickly sees through their facades and doesn't hesitate to question or call them out.

However, she's quick to backtrack usually by playing it off as being in good fun or dropping the topic if she sees she hit a nerve. Given her statements regarding Kotoko's actions-

Q.09 What do you think about Kotoko’s attacks?

Yuno: Is she an idiot? Nothing’s going to change in the world if you just act out violently where everyone can see.

Yuno seems to be the type to act meticulously and under the radar. Preferring for her methods, actions, and thoughts to be up to her discretion to release or not. This is highlighted within Tear Drop as well through the lines of-

"I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in."

She emphasizes having a choice in the matter despite her being a prisoner and the songs from what we gathered from other prisoners being forcefully extracted. Her emphasis on having a choice here shouldn't be overlooked though. Because we've not only been learning about the fans' relationships to the characters, the characters' relationships amongst each other and with Es but their relationship with Milgram and the audience as well.

This is being done in a more subtly but is becoming more apparent as the trial goes on. Yuno is the first to highlight this relationship between the prisoners and Milgram when it comes to the song extraction machine. She does so through this line stating in her own way that she chose to show us what she did and in return only asked us for one thing.

Something the audience didn't fulfill and since they didn't, she's annoyed.

"Am I a bad girl? Please, don’t answer."/ "Happy or sad? Why decide?"

Leading to,

Q.03 Do you want to leave Milgram?

Yuno: To be honest I’m bored of it now. I kinda want to leave already.

If Milgram is unable to fulfill her wants or bring her the warmth, she's seeking.... Regardless of whichever way the verdict goes, she's just going to get more annoyed. Overall, Yuno sums herself up best during her second trial written interrogation.

Q.04 What’s the origin of your name?

Yuno: It means to be kind and true to myself. [TN: Literal meaning of the kanji 優 (yu) and 乃 (no) respectively which make up her name.]

She's a kind girl. However, the most important thing to her seems to be living honestly as herself. She seems disinterested in having that honest expression judged as good or bad because to her she's just being herself and doing that can neither be wrong nor good, it's just being honest.

Sound familiar-

"You're wrong. It wasn't that. I... never wanted to kill anyone in the first place! I just... I was... Just being myself."

This is how Mahiru and Yuno are similar. They both, to an extent, believe their actions were a result of who they are naturally, or it had to happen rather than something they chose to do. This is a common thing amongst prisoners.

Q.10 If you could turn back time, would you commit the same “murder”?

Yuno: It’d be nice if I made it, so I didn’t have to.

Now this could be because environmental factors did play heavily into why they did the things they did. However, human beings can rationalize all their actions regardless of how bad or good they objectively are. So, even though the prisoners say things like they had no choice in the matter or had to respond in that way there are many moments in life where people have multiple options but due to subjective feelings believe they don't. Meaning there's no telling if this is an objective examining of their circumstances or not.

What Yuno says here and Mahiru stating she was just being herself should be taken with the same level of scrutiny that everyone else's words are. Especially since with Mahiru we don't know what being herself means to her.

For all we know being herself could mean ahn well I don't know... Strangling people who don't accept her love from behind as they try to leave her house-

I'm just spit balling here. Also given the third anniversary art chances are the expression being conveniently covered by Mahiru's mock victim's head is a smile.

Since Mahiru is the only prisoner that we don't see the mouth of during the Undercover mock murder silhouettes.

Unlike Mahiru and Kazui who want a certain answer from Milgram- Kazui wishing for Milgram to affirm his Guilt and Mahiru hoping for it to affirm her Innocence telling her once and for all the way she loves isn't wrong.

Yuno wants neither of those things. Instead, she wants exactly what Futa was telling people to do in Undercover,

"Bring it, submit, and also shut your trap!"-"You should all give up and shut up!"/ "So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear."

Milgram works to highlight Futa and Yuno's similarities by subtly comparing her to his older sister in the minigrams. Showing him get enthralled by the tricks she learned to do to entertain her younger siblings sometimes to his own embarrassment. This highlights that they may have had similar upbringing environments even if their family structures were different.

The two of them are also just a year apart in age. Futa having turned twenty right before Milgram started and Yuno turning nineteen that same year. Though since a lot of people doubt the canonicity of the minigrams let's look at some examples from the portal timeline as well.

Yuno, while amicable, isn't willing to compromise herself or undermine her own feelings just for the sake of keeping the peace just as Futa isn't.

20/06/15

Mikoto: Hey, it’s kinda a bother having you be so angry and tense all the time. You should stop trying to get everyone to pay attention to you. You’re a uni student, right? You can’t act like that once you start working properly.

Futa: Huh!? Shut up. Not like I care what you say. Even though we’re in this shitty situation, you’re just chatting away, it’s stupid. Aren’t you the one who’s acting out of place here? ……also, the fact you give everyone nicknames is just gross.

Mikoto: *sigh* It’s more stupid to be taking this all so seriously. I mean, it’s definitely just a reality TV program. There’s no way a real prison exists, that’s this lax. Also, I don’t give nicknames to everyone. I don’t give them to young kids like Amane, or to the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san. I mean, I’m not giving you one, right?

Futa: ……oi, which group are you trying to say I am?

20/07/08

Yuno: Hey, Mikoto-san. Don’t you get tired being so conscious of others all the time? I mean, you’re free to do what you want though.

Mikoto: Eh…… Aha, what are you talking about? I’m not being conscious or anything. It’s normal to make sure to get along with everyone, right? I mean, when you put it like that, aren’t you the same, Yun-chan? You’re always smiling and getting on with everyone too.

Yuno: I don’t smile unless I actually want to. But with you, when you’re talking with other people it’s more like you only smile deliberately. So, I kept thinking, don’t your cheeks get tired? Ah, is this just what happens when you become a working adult? ……you see people like that sometimes.

Mikoto: Haha, you don’t mince your words do you. …….that was never my intention, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do. This might’ve been since I started my job too…… But like, if I was rude to everyone I met, all my efforts would come to nothing, right?

Kotoko and Futa fill the reactionary slot within this group of five while Kazui and Yuno fall into the proactive category. Mahiru like her placement within the group is a mix of these two styles.

This is highlighted through not only Yuno's statement on Kotoko's actions but a conversation Futa and Kazui had as well.

20/06/23

Futa: Old man, don’t just laze around so carefree like that. Haven’t you thought about how to break out from here? With your physique, you can probably take out the guard and escape, right?

Kazui: Ahh…… Ok, let’s put it this way. You got caught up in a bank robbery, and the culprit has blocked off the police. From a glance, they look pretty weak, and don’t seem to be holding any weapons. Would you try to arrest them yourself?

Futa: ……if it looked like I’d be able to, then I would. You said they’re weak and don’t have any weapons, right? Everyone else in the building’s life is on the line. Those who can fight should fight.

Kazui: Haha, I wouldn’t recommend that. Even if they look weak, they might actually be a lot stronger. They might have an accomplice hiding somewhere. And they might not look like they have a weapon, but could easily be hiding a gun. ……you shouldn’t act until you have absolute confidence in your assessment. So, for now I’m going to sit back and assess the situation. And on that note, I’m off for a smoke~

Yuno Trial 2 Interrogation 1:32-1:54

"Yep! Kotoko, who you forgave, went super violent and then injured people came rolling in one after another!"

"You mean Mahiru and Futa. That was an incident even I had not expected."

"Really? If you ask me Kotoko is someone I would never want to make my friend, though. She's the type who picks a conclusion from the very beginning and won't actually talk to you."

"Hm."

"Well, it's arbitrary who one gets along with. However, Mahiru in particular is something. I think both her body and mind are at their limits."

Futa and Kotoko for as good as they are at gathering information suck at interpreting it. They take things at face value, jump to sometimes outlandish conclusions, and in Kotoko's case sometimes only seek information that validates their preexisting biases. Both at times fail to really think for themselves and feel more than happy acting off the feelings of others and how those other people interpret information.

Something Kazui and Yuno aren't really interested in. Kazui wants Milgram to find him Guilty not necessarily because he is but because he believes himself to be. He knows he's a great liar and wishes to be figured out. So, until Milgram sees him for what he finds himself to be then it can be nothing but wrong to him. Mahiru wants Milgram to find her Innocent because she believes in her version of love and has stated her desire to live for that alone.

Until she's found Innocent, she'll get increasingly disheartened until she breaks. Hence multiple characters emphasizing her declining mental health. Even though this does not change the fact that her actions, like every prisoner, are morally reprehensible and objectively wrong. The only thing stopping it from coming off that way is how one chooses to interpret it.

Futa and Kotoko on the other hand, well as we've seen with Futa he can admit he's wrong but only in a circumstance where he can also point fault back at the system. In a what about what you're doing here then way. This isn't technically admitting fault or taking responsibility for one's actions, it's literally whataboutism. He pulled the equivalent of two wrongs don't make a right. Even though I believe he reflected to an extent that doesn't excuse the fact that way he's handling things now can be interpreted as just another deflection.

It's implied Kotoko has lashed out at people who take offense to her methods before as well given this voice line.

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

So chances are if any of them get a verdict they dislike they'll literally ignore it or get pissy about it there's no in between. These are all very stubborn people, which is probably why they were grouped together.

The other five Haruka, Mu, Shidou, Amane, and Mikoto while stubborn are far more self-conscious than the first group. They are worried about how they're viewed either within society, by themselves, others, if they're viewed, or whether they're accepted within society or not. To varying degrees. Now one would immediately go wait but what about Amane-

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: Ahh…… I’m not wrong…… I wasn’t doing anything wrong… Shut up, why are you going on an on about something so minor…… It has nothing to do with you…… Aaahhh……

Amane: Oh, were you talking to yourself, Futa-san? Or maybe there’s something there you’re able to see?

Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. ……but well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you- you were wrong.

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either…… ……today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care.

That's not the behavior of someone who cares about outside opinions. Oh, but it is. She just doesn't care about our opinions. From the beginning Amane has stated that there are higher rules that are closer to her than anything we could judge her by. She knows that based upon her faith, the beliefs she adheres to, that what she did was not murder or a sin and that she will always have a place to stand and people to stand with in relation to her faith. She already has acceptance from the one place that matters to her and letting Milgram tell her that she's wrong is the equivalent of spitting in the face of that.

Of course, she doesn't care about Milgram's opinion, it's secondary to that of her own. Frankly as it should be. If Milgram can't respect her beliefs, then simply put it's wrong not her. Trials like this come up in life where a person's faith is met with adversity and scrutiny. Amane has made it clear that she views Milgram as a trial of faith.

Amane only cares about the opinion of her faith. Just as Mikoto only cares about his opinion/understanding of himself. However, Haruka and Mu care about being viewed by others and how they view them. They both want to be looked at fondly and cared for. They don't want to be hated. Shidou just like with Mahiru is a mix of these two aspects the middle man.

He wants to be held accountable for his actions and he knows society should view him with contempt, but he really doesn't want to feel anything about his own behavior. He doesn't want to reflect on himself, instead simply wishing for the easily gained scorn of outside observers. To solidify in him how cruel and uncaring this world is. This cruel uncaring world that took everything away from him. His wife, his kids, it should scorn him up to the very end. Because when he did do everything right when he was trying everything still went wrong so why should kindness rear its head now?

Can't he at least die apathetic.

"So, this is unpleasant, so this makes me sick- What do you mean INNOCENT, if this is my punishment. Now I see, this world is cruel and merciless. The vote that negates the option of death, the love that won’t perish. No thank you, it’s none of your concern."

A bid to be Guilty just to cement his own belief that this world is cruel, unforgiving, unfair, place all while disguising it as the simple course of things claiming it's justice and the best for all the victims he's created. All while conveniently omitting why there needed to be victims to begin with. Because he didn't want to properly reflect on what he did and he didn't want us to do so either. He just wanted to have a quick clean death.

"Please don’t forgive me."/ "“Throw down” emotions with no color I wonder if I can die with it still left."

Then when that failed, he fell right back to his previous beliefs.

"“Throw down”, someone’s value- Cannot be the same as another. “Throw down” should choose between superiority or inferiority."

"I want to be INNOCENT, I want to live. So, this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me? That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding- So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

Because through validating Shidou's previous behavior he may have just learned that the ends justify the means. That people like him are necessary within this world to keep things moving and that the reason he hasn't died yet is because he's truly indispensable. When the truth is while Shidou may have been a victim of circumstance he never had to make people victims of him.

The sad truth is when it came time for the delusion tax to be paid he always left someone else footing the bill.

"Those cards of promise I discarded. Were they retribution for my incessant taking?"

Whether those people were his patients or his own kids. A savagely immature man that hiding his own nature behind some grandiose idea of objectivity. Thinking he knows a lot because he's lived so long but has experienced so little. He had several girlfriends during kindergarten and then dated and married his middle school girlfriend while working to become a doctor. He never had to be around other people or experience various things a sheltered streamlined existence that once hit with the smallest bit of how hellish and not idyllic reality could be crumbled.

Subjecting innocent people and families to the same horridness that he himself went through all for nothing. Yet instead of thinking about that, instead of interrogating that thought he was quick to foist the judging his behavior/actions on a fifteen-year-old. Hell, he was even happy that a kid would be judging him for what he did.

These are all very emotional and self-conscious individuals who all shy away from taking a long hard look at themselves in the mirror. Instead using their environmental circumstances, societal obligations, and religion to skirt personal accountability. Though they all seem to be handling it well on the outside, they very well could all be taking the brunt of it internally.

So, these groupings could be the difference between a tough front and a tough core.

We see in Magic the amount of abuse Amane went through leading up to her murder. We hear it in MeMe Mikoto's very real back and forth with himself as he swings between is this too much and it's not enough in his cover of Monopoisoner. Both also literally dissociated during most if not all of the intermission. Like they really went you think this prison can hold me and just went in the fucking mindscape.

Mikoto's over here like "I wouldn't treat me like this" and Amane was just there like "The council wouldn't fucking do this to me" and they both stayed that way.

We see it in Weakness as Haruka laments wanting to be a pitied and loved weakling along with the dawning realization that he's not that. He's not a victim here, this isn't a case of the weak eating the weak to survive. He's the strong subsisting on the little and the very thought of that being the case terrifies him.

"I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling- I was in denial, I was in denial.". So, much so that he pivots after getting a smidgen of validation highlighting all the bad things his mother did to him along with singing, "I wasn’t wrong, I wasn’t wrong- Please don’t say that I am a loser!"- "Why was I born like this? Why does it hurt so much?" Now leaning back into that idea of weakness he'd previously said he was in denial about.

We see it in After Pain as Mu laments her own perceived usefulness and how painful it felt for her to realize how much she wasn't needed. To see how easy, it was for someone to continue living without her in their life. Then she also pivots like yeah you're right I'm queen serve me more I can't sustain my ego on my own I need constant validation don't abandon me but remember I'm better than you ha ha that's why you need me. Hence the codependency thing with Haruka. She wants to feel needed, and he wants to be taken care of it is super not surprising this happened.

Shidou is literally in here like please kill me I'm a failure and did immeasurable harm nothing will change my mind on this- (You could save lives)- I could save lives I could do my literal job for once please vote me innocent he sobs through gritted teeth and seething rage. Like dude didn't commit to the verdict he wanted at all. Like he was not making the cut for Group A-

In Group A we have the defender the only person who can beat Kotoko Kazui going nah still vote me guilty if you want as long as no one has a weapon I can take them tied up or not don't let this affect your verdict. Man, if Kazui could vote he'd vote himself guilty like he is that committed to that verdict. Shidou failed once and went well I guess that's it I don't know how to convince you I guess I just gotta be this now. Like bitch try harder- Admit what you did on tape stop being vague in the interrogation. Like the fuck dude? Don't give up, don't be better, be worse it's not that hard to get a guilty verdict in here. Like do you really want this or not?!

Kazui putting his neck to the stone being like come on swing the axe down and you're just here sobbing oh no not another pillow massage I don't deserve this. Like are you good psychologically- Probably not nobody here is. Yet this guy is going through some shit that I can't comprehend. Folded like paper and is probably going to be crying in his cell about his innocent verdict as Kazui is in his cell dancing to his second trial song like yeah finally put them restraints on me, that's the stuff Milgram! Come on a bit tighter!

That's not even getting into Yuno's cover songs yet and how they work alongside her trial songs. So, let's get into that.

Sticky Bug:

“Say that you love me, say that you love me since there’s nothing else, I need. Hey, say that you love me, so it won’t ever be forgotten since I don’t need anyone else but you.”

Umbilical- “Am I a bad girl? Please don’t answer. What do you want to do? Please tell me. What type of girl do you like? I want to become like that, but that’s probably too hard for me…”

“Hey, I love you! I really love you! I really, really love you! I love you so much I don’t even know anymore! That’s just the tip of the iceberg- So, please let me keep filling you with this love! “

Umbilical- “Just me alone, it really is lonely. Let’s reload the warmth.”/ Tear Drop- “Hooked up till the morning to this sweet “Umbilical Cable”. Let’s just do it, please smile?”

“Hey, say that you love me, say that you love me. Saying “I don’t need anything else” isn’t being honest. Say that you love me, for if I’m lucky, then at any rate… I really want every single part of you.”

Umbilical: “Play-biting each other, warmth-giving each other that is probably an amazing thing. Even this makes you happy, right? I know you will respond that way.”

Vampire:

“When I finally spit out everything, I was hiding they were all things you were like, “That’s so true” to. I don’t believe you, but I don’t not in honesty… I’ll just use you to pass the time until morning comes.”

Tear Drop- “Caressing me with your ‘Good girl’. Who needs your self-righteous pardon? I’m the one who chose, let you and you and you all in. Happy or sad? Why decide? Where’d you get your half-baked sense of justice? So nauseating...so creepy...will you please disappear ‘Phew. Anyway!’.”

“The repeating no’s, freely being selfish, getting greedy and missing the chance again. The never ending “What if’s” even though I want to make it come true…they may pile up until I’m crushed. It’s FINE, it’s SAD, it’s PAINFUL. Until I eat all of you- It’s OKAY, it’s FUN, it FEELS AMAZING. It’s so addicting that I’ll drown, SCREAMING.”

Tear drop: “The fading warmth makes me anxious again tear drops succumb and fall.”

“You’re a Vampire too, hey! It’s okay to suck, go ahead. ‘I can’t, I can’t take it anymore’ I want you to make me say it too! Unless it’s you I absolutely can’t do it- So, let me praise you some more. You’re a Vampire too, hey! Longing until it dries up again; how many times has it been now?”

Tear Drop: “Desire, bestow, and desire again. The episode reloading on an endless loop.”

“You’re a vampire too come over here first!”

Tear Drop: “If you want ‘me’, come marco, I’ll polo. Let’s just do it, please smile? Hooked up till the morning to this sweet “Umbilical Cable”. Let’s just do it, please smile?”

In all the songs Yuno has sung there’s an undertone of reluctance and uncertainty regarding the relationship. Wording that can lead some to believe that the other party within the relationship was hesitant about continuing it. Along with a feeling of distance between her and the subject she’s singing about. Something that is present throughout all of Group A's prisoner's songs.

The first line of Tear Drop even alludes to this aspect of her circumstances.

“The wanted wanting the wanter. The overlap, isn’t that some sort of perfection?”

She’s not saying it’s perfection she’s asking if it is. The lyrics in the description and captions even going as far to have a question mark.

This begs the question; can one truly call it perfection when the person they are interested in is only interested in them for a completely different reason than they are? In a way it's similar to the situation we see displayed in the Milgram novel between Close and Two-sides.

Yuno is romantically interested in them. She wants to become the sort of girl that they’d like but thinks that’s too hard for her. Yet, on the other hand they have this contractual relationship between them, a shared secret that’s close to the relationship Yuno may want but is not that. That kind of situation, while convenient, is still far from perfect.

Some of the lyrics in both her trial songs allude to the person she’s interested in becoming hesitant about being close to her even in that way. Given the repeated line of let’s just do it please smile.

Futa

Kajiyama, Futa

Prior to his incarceration within Milgram Futa had celebrated his twentieth birthday. This year he celebrated his twenty-third birthday. Possibly being born in the year 2000. He was the first prisoner to receive a guilty verdict. He has a coarse personality along with a harsh informal way of speaking.

He’s direct and opinionated. Possibly using his stature and outwardly brash nature to his advantage in order to gauge the capabilities/personalities of his peers to varying results. His opinionated and head strong nature can make his personality grating to those around him. Unlike, Yuno he's genuinely oblivious to the needs of others and the importance of reading the atmosphere properly. A similarity he has with the prisoner he's paired with Mu.

Seeming to need things like that explained to him in a nonconfrontational setting for the point to get across. He's firm in his beliefs and doesn't really understand how people could view things differently from how he does. Being genuinely perturbed by how calmly the older individuals outside of him are taking the situation they find themselves in.

Kazui, Shidou, Mikoto and Mahiru all failing to properly explain their attitudes about this in a way he finds sufficient after he confronts them about it. Kazui coming closest to giving a reasonable explanation.

In this group of five Futa and Kotoko are the odd ones out. Mirroring Amane and Mikoto within the second group.

Unlike Yuno, Mahiru, and Kazui- Futa and Kotoko are bad at reading the room. Yet, they both assert that they are in fact reading it fine actually and collecting a lot of important information. Don't question them on it, they are- What they believe they're doing is useful and hasn't caused more problems than they already had or anyone discomfort.

If anyone has questions about their behavior, then that person is just too stupid to understand it, or they didn't ask for their opinion or understanding.

20/05/26

Kazui: Ahh, this old man’s gonna go and smoke in the corner a bit. I checked with the guard, and apparently, we can use our free time however we want. Man, I’m glad this place is so relaxed.

Shidou: ……! Are…… we allowed to smoke……?

Kazui: Huh…… Shidou-kun, was it? You smoke too? That’s kinda unexpected.

Shidou: Ah, yes. ……I only started fairly recently though. I’ll go with you…… to smoke.

Futa: Ahh, those old men really stink of tobacco. Are they idiots or something? They should know better at that age…… If they really can’t cope without relying on something like that then I worry about their sanity.

Yuno: ……it doesn’t really matter does it? They’re making sure they’re staying far away from the people who don’t smoke. Personally, I quite like the smell anyway.

Futa: Huh!? What are you talking about? It means you’re more likely to get sick, it costs money, it’s a nuisance for everyone around you, what’s even the point. Our tax money is being wasted going towards paying for that, you know? If you were really smart, you’d know not to smoke at all!

Yuno: I see~

Q.16 Do you have anyone you hate?

Yuno: People who like to lecture you.

As illustrated well up there, this behavior causes them to clash with other members of their group frequently to varying extents. Putting one of them in direct opposition with the others.

Yuno stating that she would never associate with someone like Kotoko and Kotoko threatening Kazui just to receive a rather calm response from the older man.

20/08/03

Mikoto: By the way, Koto-chan. Who’s stronger between you and Kazu-san?You both know martial arts, right?

Kotoko: ……if it was a fair one-on-one fight, probably Kazui.

Futa: Isn’t that obvious? What a stupid question. There’s no way a girl could win in a fight against a man. This is real life, not a manga. There’s too big a difference in body size. And that’s what determines the weight of your attacks.

Kotoko: ……Futa’s not entirely wrong there. In a lot of martial arts, they specifically split up divisions based on body weight for that reason. I’m bantam, and he’d probably be either cruiser or heavy. Well, I’d still break an arm or two though.

While Kotoko believes she could probably break an arm or two of Kazui's- Kazui is concerning himself with if anyone is armed or not. He probably views Kotoko as being just as dangerous to him as Futa is which is not very dangerous, but she could try. This highlights the most important thing that is similar between Futa and Kotoko they run with their assumptions usually using information that supports their belief already without interrogating it further.

For as much as they assert, they're interrogating everything they're just looking at what they want to. Kotoko probably even believes she had the upper hand during this conversation with Kazui,

20/07/09

Kotoko: Kazui, you do martial arts right. ……what type? Judo?

Kazui: Ah, my main is…… judo, and kendo. I also know a little bit of karate. You must have some martial arts experience too, right, Yuzuriha-chan? I can tell by looking. Hmm… probably a combat type…… I’m guessing not karate…… is it taekwondo?

Kotoko: ……I’m not telling you. Stop ogling me like that. It’s gross.

Kazui: I-isn’t that a bit unfair?

Not realizing that if he was willing to just tell her which forms of martial arts, he's studied than he probably doesn't view her as much of a threat or that unlike her he's proficient enough with physical fitness to tell what she's been studying at a glance. Further highlighting the gap in their skill levels. However, despite this interaction being prior to her conversation with Mikoto and Futa she still assumes she could break an arm or two. Miss that guy would be your teacher when it came to training the Clock Over Orquesta crossover highlights this fact pretty well- Yet, you still believe you can do it.

This blind confidence in their own abilities is something shared between Futa, Mahiru, and Kotoko. We see it displayed with Mahiru during the minigram where they discuss making chocolate from cocoa beans.

It should be noted that despite Futa being one of those people who likes to lecture others Yuno doesn't really have any complaints about him in trial two. Even though she did begin promptly avoiding him after this interaction the chances are that if he was voted Innocent round one, she might have had complaints with him just like she does with Mu.

However, his guilty verdict taught him to mind his business meaning he's a lot less likely to go around lecturing others now.

Mozaik Role:

“Certain words pierced through you. I described the fluid flowing from your wound as ‘love’.”

Bring It On- “I won’t stop until you say “sorry”.”/ "We will expose you all by whipping you with words until you are bruised."

“Lack of sympathy and superficial sex seem to perfectly describe the unbreakable bond between you and me.”

Bring It On- “Bye, bye idiots and devils with a faces of angels. We will expose you all by whipping you with words until you are bruised. You won’t stop regretting.” / “Fuck it! You won’t be forgiven; it was stupid licking each other’s wounds. Justice assemble! Till the end.”

“Saying things like, “Either way I still love you…” lol. Wouldn’t it be better to say you used to love me? We’re intertwined so no one can touch us. Isn’t this fate, too? It’s just a certain world of love that disappears.”/ “In the end, I got tired of you.”

Backdraft- “Can’t help but laugh, can’t help but laugh.”/“Me, the result of blame-shifting, no, can’t find that funny. With just one mistake and I’m out of chances. Bless me, please, with one more chance. It’s not even my fault, not even slightly.”/ “Flames closing in, are both sides losers?”

“Since I don’t know if it’s love or lust, what should I call this relationship I’m about to end?”/ “Lack of sympathy and superficial sex seem to perfectly describe the unbreakable bond between you and me- Still it’s fine…”

Bring It On- “You already knew, the whole time. You can’t escape, how do you like the taste of punishment.”

Backdraft- “Pressure, pressure! Falling head down. Pressure, pressure! Whatever you do, you’re still last in line.”

“Can we say we used to love each other? We were hanging on and struggling. Wouldn’t it be better if you just killed me, since I hate you?”

Bring It On- “Bring it on! Those who believe in justice assemble! You gotta be kidding, I’m an undead hero.”/ “Fuck it! Don’t you think so? You won’t be forgiven, a coward, never! Let’s keep on winning till the end.”

Backdraft- “Burn, burn? Be still that FIRE of LIES, I don’t want any more. Burn, burn? Tears aren’t enough, no way no how it’s going to end. It’s so hot, so hard to breath, there’s no solace for my heart-”

Salamander:

"Hot is good, don't you think so? Is it a big deal? Hey, isn't the word "but" not not good? Want to hear the word "more"!"

Bring It On- "What I want to hear is the scream deep inside you."

Backdraft- "Pressure, pressure! Applause receding far away."

"It's heating up inside my head! Salamander-der-der-der."

Bring It On- "Let’s go! A victory march! Dan-Da-Dan."

Backdraft- "Burn, burn! An ever-victorious FIRE, burn so high till it becomes ash!" / "Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE."

(This one is sort of self-explanatory there is literally a fire he can't put out within his own mind throughout all of backdraft.)

"I surrender, I'm already hooked I can't function without you anymore."/"I'm already obsessed, is it doing super great? Hey, honestly isn't it not not crazy?! I WANT TO HEAR THE TRUTH!"

Bring It On- "I give up. Need to make it clean since it’s so dirty."/"It’s going great, we’re gonna punish you until you cry! If you get off now, you're a traitor."

Backdraft- "Burn, burn! Open this door and check if you want to, I’ll deign to hear your last words."

"I want a lot. This crazy taste is just not fair? Eyy! If you know, I would like you to tell me first, okay?"/"I can't stop my mouth from watering. As many times as possible."

Bring It On- "Justice assemble! Till the end."/"Fuck it! Don’t you think so?"/"Let’s keep on winning till the end! Assemble! Assemble!"

Backdraft- "Why are the others INNOCENT? I won’t forgive, won’t forgive."/"Burn, burn! Deliciously scorched, till your mouth waters."

"I want to be on fire when I reach the climax."/"I want to burn bright red, I want to burn bright red!"

"I want it on repeat, I want a spicy treat; can i get seconds? One more time!"

Bring It On- "Found one…! Countdown till I make you say sorry."/ "It’s going great, we’re gonna punish you until you cry. If you get off now, you're a traitor."

Backdraft- "Bless me, please, with one more chance."

"I can't stop, I don't want to stop- Make sure to cool it down so you don't get burned!"/"Ouch! That was hot, getting burned from living too fast! It's a bit annoying because I can't handle too much hot food- I want it on repeat, I want a spicy treat; can I get seconds? ONE MORE TIME!!"

Bring It On- "Now let’s begin to hunt down the liars- Found one…! Countdown till I make you say sorry."/ "Now let’s be reasonable. We are the ones that blow the horn for justice."/ "You won’t stop regretting Now let’s begin to hunt down the liars."

Backdraft- "Pressure, pressure! Light that fuse!"/"Should I succumb, make your wish come true? Full of yourselves, are you?"/"Bless me, please, with one more chance!"/"Flames closing in, can’t douse this FIRE."/"Burn, burn? Be still that FIRE of LIES, I don’t want any more!"

"I want to escape, but I'm not able to-"

"Hey, honestly isn't it not not crazy?/"I can't stop, I don't want to stop- Make sure to cool it down so you don't get burned!"/ "How is it inside your head?"

Bring It On- "Eat this! Don’t act like you have no idea! We won’t forgive you- You’re the crazy one! Ban-Ba-Bang."

Backdraft- "Pressure, pressure! The front line of an indomitable resolve."/ "Burn, burn! An ever-victorious FIRE, burn so high till it becomes ash."

Everything mixing together to embody that feeling of "It's so bad but it tastes soooooo good!" That comes with that feeling of vindication one only feels after being thrown into the dregs of defeat. That euphoria that comes over a person claiming victory moments milliseconds before what seemed to be an inevitable defeat. Something that can only come to a person who dangles between loss and victory.

That sort of thrill, well it's enough to make a person who just got from the bottom contemplate throwing themselves back down. That sort of mental bungee jumping is too exciting to put into words.

Because the only thing better than being told you're right all the time is to have someone who was swearing up and down about how wrong you were come crawling back grinding their teeth over having to tell you that you were right.

That sort of thing surely, without a doubt tastes the best. It feels so good, and the view from the top looks so much better after the long trip back up- Although, if you don't know when to cool it you may just get stuck in the hole you flung yourself into.

So, make sure to cool it down so you don't get burned.

Unlike Mozaik Role which seems to be focusing on Futa's relationship with another party. Salamander highlights not only his relationship with the group he was in but his own relationship with confrontation/debates. We see in the Minigrams that Kotoko seems to be the type who likes to debate things and Futa admits to having some things in common with her but this isn't one of them.

Because similarly to Yuno- Futa can't be bothered to debate his points or wants. However, the way he does this is more a mix of Yuno and Shidou. He believes it's best to not take things too seriously and is willing to take shortcuts in logic. Shortcuts like taking others at their word instead of fully investigating a matter himself. We see this illustrated through his conversation with Kazui regarding the bank robber situation and his conversation with Kotoko in the minigrams about other prison system.

Despite how unamicable he can come off as with his rough exterior he's more likely to want to find common ground with people than find enjoyment from verbal sparring. Unless it's something he undoubtedly finds stupid or reprehensible. In which case he will carelessly speak his mind with no concern for other people's feelings. Though he probably wishes to reserve that sort of thing for people he already dislikes, doesn't know that well, or who has attacked/hurt him first. Because he still finds some enjoyment from being able to feel justified in his attacks like Kotoko does.

Mahiru

Shiina, Mahiru

Prior to her incarceration at Milgram Mahiru had celebrated her twenty-second birthday on January 17, 2020. Possibly being born in 1998 making her twenty-five as of 2023. Beaming with joy, this prisoner has been compared to the sun. Full of light and laughter she's a refreshing sight to mostly anyone she comes across in Milgram.

Her personality exists as an antithesis to Futa's. She forces an atmosphere of positivity in everything she does. This contrasts with Futa well who generally views things with skepticism and distrust, making the atmosphere hard to bear. As a result, Mahiru has a difficult time handling serious or upsetting situations. Attempting to lighten the mood even when the atmosphere calls for a bit of upset.

Due to her positive and chatty nature it could be difficult for her to tell when she's overstepped a boundary or if she should stop talking. Unless someone directly confronts her on a matter, she's likely to push forward with her assumptions on a situation similar to Futa and Kotoko.

Since Mahiru doesn't present as being malicious or hostile her mannerisms tend to be overlooked. Being conflated to her being an airhead, oblivious, or unintelligent. Her pension towards analyzing others and habit of making snap judgements based on those analyses- Despite how little information she's gathered can be seen through her timeline conversations and first trial question answers.

Particularly these ones,

20/06/08

Mahiru: Shidou-san…… you’re really good-looking. Personally, I think you’d be better if you ate a bit more, but you’re slim and tall, and well put together to boot…… You must’ve been super popular up until now, right?

Shidou: ……yeah, that’s true…… I did my share of fooling around in the past.

Mahiru: Oh~? That's not the sort of answer I'd expect from you. I've got it! Somebody told you that if you replied like that people wouldn't resent you so much, right?

Shidou: Haha, I’m surprised you guessed. ……it seems that no matter what guise I put on, it’s meaningless against a woman’s insight.

Through Mahiru's statements we can gather she'd been examining Shidou from the sidelines before approaching him with this question. Already having an assumed answer in mind. Possibly close to the truth the viewers see regarding his relationships in Triage and what's implied by his answer to how many lovers he has had.

Four at his age isn't really the number of someone fooling around. So, Mahiru was more than likely expecting Shidou to answer in this way.

"Ah, well a bit. There were certainly people who were interested in me, but I didn't fool around that much."

Then instead of taking Shidou's answer about his own personal life at face value she continues to interrogate the issue further. Noting that the answer wasn't what she was expecting and quickly deducing someone had told him to answer like that to avoid problems. Showing that she recognized this and her willingness to ignore what giving a scripted answer like that could mean.

Usually, people give brief scripted answers like this when they aren't particularly interested in pursuing the conversation any further. Shidou's response to her continued prodding could imply he's used to dealing with observant and more dominant women like Mahiru already. Something that is further illustrated through imagery within Triage.

From the way it is displayed Shidou's home life appears to be a matriarchy of sorts. Going wife and children first with him taking the role of provider. Something displayed through him coming back with groceries as she remains in the home. This is despite us knowing Shidou may very well be the primary source of income within the household as well as the strenuous job he has outside of his family.

The alleged wife being the center of attention and area of focus as soon as he returns home. Beginning his second song with visuals of him finishing grocery shopping and heading home to cook with his alleged family displays this as not being a chore or source of strife to him like Throw Down implied his job was but a moment of reprieve.

Ultimately, saying a lot about his character and mentality.

Juxtaposing what we see Mahiru prop up as love rather well and highlighting how Shidou's situation was more balanced and a give and take scenario.

As it's heavily implied that he defaulted to her judgement or took counsel from her when it came to circumstances, he had a hard time grasping. Something that was later elaborated on/implied further in his second trial written interrogation.

Q19: What was your lover like?

Shidou: She was a strong person. I'm quite careless in private, so I’ve been relying on her.

Mahiru: Truly a kind person.

Outside of that answer it is displayed through the way we are shown they took walks together, cooked together and possibly used this time to discuss their daily lives and other things. Though it is most heavily alluded to at the climax of Triage.

A moment that implicitly implies he is once again defaulting to her values and not his own by taking into consideration his memory of her and the kids before making a decision on what he should do next.

"So, this is unpleasant, hurling slurs of “hostage game”, you do know that it’s up to me?"

Their image fading

As he sings

"That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding- So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable."

While on the other hand the way Mahiru displays love as constant service and emotional labor. A love where pain is not only expected but the goal is to have matching pain. Shidou is still getting something from the people he loved even though they're no longer alive. He still gets a sense of hope and guidance from even just their memory.

Something that is shown to be nonexistent regarding Mahiru's love in the visuals of "I Love You". As it displays her lover's ability to give to her while heavily highlighting her own failure to do so in return. Through both the visuals and lyrics of the song.

"Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin. My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight. Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right."

Now if Mahiru was just in Milgram for being a bad romantic partner then that would be a bit of an over exaggeration. However taking into consideration that Undercover comes out the gate saying if you forgive this sin you're basically an accomplice and the characters have admitted to hearing the audience and our speculations. Something Yuno brings up rather clearly, chances are they're not just responding to their verdicts but our assumptions about them good or bad.

Guilty prisoners possibly using the more positive assumptions we had about them to put themselves in a better light. Many people had already quite vocally assumed that Mahiru's lover committed suicide and used the fact that his death may have been of his own choice to absolve her of any wrongdoing so there are more benefits for her is she confirms this information than if she doesn't.

Oh, but how do we know that they could have heard all that? Well, one it wasn't just people who wanted Mahiru innocent that were saying he committed suicide many people who wanted her guilty were saying that she drove this man into killing himself. So regardless of where the verdict landed, she'd hear it anyhow.

That and Yuno's voice drama and the lyrics of her and Kazui's songs both reference the assumptions the audience had about them.

"Love + Fate= Crap. Crush and bye. Disgusting playing house + disguise + fake. Devotion-love, lame, cheating. Let's make it victim and assailant." - Though it was more recently changed to "Love (plus) Destiny= Crap. Smash it, shatter it, bye-bye. the sticky-sweet sequence: Dinner + Camouflage + You-Know-What."

If the prisoners with freedom of thought were still hearing things about their verdict than what were the prisoners that did not have freedom of thought hearing. From the beginning Mahiru said that she was just being herself and wanted to know if her love could really kill someone. Milgram gave a resounding yes whether she intentionally meant to do so or not.

The argument then shifted from being about a murder occurring or someone being dead to who intended for him to die though. If he just killed himself doesn't that absolve Mahiru she wouldn't technically be a murderer, then. She wouldn't have taken a life with her own hands. She was just being herself and herself was a bit too much for this person but that doesn't mean she deserves to be here.

If she were to hear that reasoning as well. Then displaying it as a suicide would reasonably have more benefits than not doing so. Even if it wasn't her intention to display suicide, which I doubt for numerous reasons that I'll go into after. It would be incredibly difficult for her to not fixate on the event after being mentally lambasted over it for months.

I doubt that that it was unintentional simply because she was very good at not blatantly displaying this information during This Is How To Be In Love With You. If it was just him hanging in the woods at the end of her previous song that raises several questions that have yet to be asked since the release of "I Love You".

A. What was up with the feathers?

Like what were up with those why were they there? They aren't followed up on in this song at all- So, like what the hell did they represent?

The only thing I can think of to solve for this. Is that the feathers have been conveniently obscured or possibly... Turned into something else that is also prominently featured in "I Love You". Which would be the merry-go-round horses. Which would mean the merry-go-round is an evolution of the birdcage- The bars that were going around and around Mahiru before meant to show us that she was in a way restraining herself. I thought it was weird that there was a couch on the merry-go-round but if it's an evolution of the birdcage then of course it would have one. Plus, the horse that the boyfriend is riding on in those scenes when he's on one has a blue saddle as well.

A blue that matches the color of the feathers we see in This Is How To Be In Love With You. If during This Is How To Be In Love With You Mahiru's mental scenery was a tasteful recreation of the room, they had the dinner in- Which it appears to be.

Then why would it be attached to this thing now in any way? I guess it doesn't matter, it could be as simple as the two locations being near each other.

B. What was up with the dinner at the end?

Mahiru is still wearing the same clothes from the dinner we are shown on Day 16. They are clearly at home then. So how did they get to the woods, why is she still wearing the same outfit, and why in some scenes throughout "I Love You" is this outfit she's been wearing since the beginning of Milgram suddenly magically too big for her? Along with her hair being shorter.

Now one could say, well that's to show that they were actually in a longer lasting relationship than we believed. Okay, follow up question why is her hair still short in the scene where he is implied to die? In fact, it's shorter.

C. What was with her listing some of the clothes she was wearing in "This Is How To Be In Love With You" as personal possessions but not others?

There's also a heavy focus on her hair throughout her first mv where at some points we're shown side shots, shots of her hair from behind, or she's angled in a way where we can make out her hair length yet in other scenes we cannot. Making the whole hair thing in "I Love You" stand out a lot more.

Like there's just a lot of weird inconsistencies or deliberate changes that are questionable. However, I'm digressing-

We see this habit Mahiru's has of making snap judgements about others and assuming things continue during her first written trial interrogation as she wrongfully asserts-

Q.18 Who do you get along with best out of the other prisoners?

Shidou: Mukuhara-san, I think. We’re the two old men here, and are often in the smoking area together.

Mahiru: I get along well with all the other girls~

However, at this point we know this to be false. Kotoko did not like Mahiru and was openly uncomfortable and annoyed by her questions. Mahiru is at best tolerated and indulged by Amane and Mu. Two people who have shown jealousy and outward hostility towards her respectively during trial two. The only girl that likes her seems to be Yuno who hasn't assumed the worst of her personality and instead clocked immediately she's just like that.

So, even though Mahiru states this it's provably incorrect. So, she's just running with an assumption again. Even before this interview-

20/05/30

Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? But it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sport? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts?

Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that?

Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you do like yoga or something?

Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or are just an airhead.

Then Kotoko promptly never spoke to Mahiru again within the portal timeline. They have been shown together in the minigrams but Kotoko is either short with or hostile towards her. Out of all the prisoners Mahiru seems to get along with Kazui and Yuno the best while being on neutral terms with everyone else outside of possibly Mu and Kotoko. Amane being up in the air since the warning incident.

Even then she was quick to attempt to take charge of and get on good terms with all the girls. Yet, despite this the two people she invites to a girl talk sleep over are the adult men. Like uh huh you're on good terms with all the girls yep sure...

She also says this,

Q.05 Who do you dislike most out of the other prisoners?

Shidou: I don’t dislike anyone particularly. However, I think Amane rather dislikes me. Such a shame.

Mahiru: Futa-kun is a bully, so definitely out! Also Mikoto is pretty flippant, he kinda seems like the type who’d cheat~

Giving her a bit of a catty at best two-faced at worst cliquish territorial undertone where she blatantly judges people in private but is nice to them publicly. Something implied as a thing Kazui has clocked during this interaction-

20/06/19

Kazui: By the way…… thanks, Shina-chan. You keep going around and talking to people to make sure the mood never gets too sour, right? It’s a big help. We’re all in here together, after all. If a fight broke out the whole group could fall apart.

Mahiru: ……eh? Huh~? Ah, no, I’m just talking to people because I personally want to talk. All the kids are so cute, so I can’t help but want to fuss over them! A fight, huh… But if that ever happened, then you’ll definitely be a big help, right~? Since you’re so big! And buff!

Kazui: Ahh, no. I mean, I’ll do what I can. Based on appearance, as long as nobody has a weapon, I think I can probably get everyone under control…… No, we should just hope that nothing like that ever happens.

Mahiru: You know, I quite like watching martial arts actually. I don't really get it, but it looks super cool. Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

Something Mahiru lightly denies like huh it's not that before swiftly shifting the topic of conversation to Kazui. Then back to herself when the topic has changed to something she is comfortable with again. However, some may just consider this sort of behavior her being cordial.

Yet, when it comes to her cover songs. Jeez did hers cause her nothing but problems. To the degree that I don't even want to analyze the first one. I really feel that the music video for Psychogram really damned Mahiru in a lot of ways. To such an extent that many people just ignored the lyrics of the cover entirely in favor of going come on look at this it's so on the nose.

It was incredibly weird to hear about the role her cover played within her first trial verdict in retrospect. Simply because other prisoners had worse covers in trial one. Mikoto had Monopoisoners, Kotoko had Antibeat, Yuno had Sticky Bug a song that also alludes to stalking. However, those things that were overlooked before were highlighted here.

A part of me wants to say that is a bit unfair. Yet, let's reexamine it without all the unnecessary focus on the music video.

Psychogram:

"It was always going to end this way. Is your color changing because I touched you?"

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness. I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing. What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked. I can’t help myself because I want to see your cute, confused face, I’m sorry." - "Ring-ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night. Forcing you to wake up, and I say, “Good Morning!” But I fall asleep before you, I really feel bad you know? We can both feel lonely sometimes but wonder if you’ll get angry soon. I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!"

Voice Drama

"Very well, does your homicide stem from love as too?"

"I... guess it did. I think it was love."

"So, because of love you killed someone?"

"I suppose...you're right."

"I see. So, you became a murderer as a result of some relationship conflicts? Jealousy… Grudges… Having your partner stolen from you… Those stories aren’t all that uncommon now, are they?"

"You’re wrong. It wasn’t that. I…never even wanted to kill anyone in the first place!"

"..."

"I just...I was...just being myself." - "It was always going to end this way. Is your color changing because I touched you?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"...Not telling. After all, I still don’t know you that well, prison guard."

I Love You: "The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here. If I could see you again, I wonder, what would I say to you and how?"

""What is that face you've never shown to me?" Hey, let's make it sting. "When will you give in and be my friend?" Hey, let's make it sting."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "Wanting to know everything about you, but wanting to die because it can’t come true. It's all because of love."

I Love You: "This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you”! My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

"I get it, I get it. I agree there was enough love in the first place."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together. The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you. Is love."- "I suck at pretending to smile- But see! I feel great because of you."

I Love You: "I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you. I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that."

"I love you so much. You're too wonderful, I don't want to let anyone else have you."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "I suck at pretending to smile- But see! I feel great because of you. The nights that I don’t want to say goodbye, me being embarrassed because it’s you- Is love!" "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart."

I Love You: "This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥. Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end." - "Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin."

"It's so heavy, it gives me a shock. Come on, tie me up tightly."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "We fought sometimes; I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad. This is a claim of responsibility from the two of us with matching love."

I Love You: "Kiss good-bye to this feeling cuz it’s too heavy? I can’t, no way no way no way." "The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here." "My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight."

" "Answer me right away- where are you now?" Hey, let's make it sting. "With a kiss I'll exorcise those lies that possess you. Hey, let's make it sting. I've had enough of apologies just keep smiling like that forever. Don't make me worry; this hard goodbye will never happen again."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, but really, I don't want to say "I'm ok"." "Ring ring, I’m calling you in the middle of the night. Forcing you to wake up, and I say “Good Morning!”." "The nights that I don’t want to say goodbye, me being embarrassed because it’s you is love!"

I Love You: "“See you next week?” sounding in cadence." "This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you”. My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, are you not here anymore?"

"I love you so much. I dreamed of being together, just the two of us. Don't run away anymore, I'll protect you. I'll toy with all the things that get in our way, one after another. It's all for you, I don't need anyone else."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, I don’t want to be “ok”. Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together. The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you- Is love. Giving you love to the point of pulling you down. It’s just because I still get worried, please forgive me. Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual- Is because I love you."

I Love You: "I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you. I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that." "I just love you so much."

"I love you so much."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you- Is love."

I Love You: "Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much!"

"Hey, if not me, who would you choose? Come on, don't be scared it's just a fable, a what-if- You won't answer, huh? You're disgusting."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing- What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked. I can’t help myself because I want to see your cute, confused face, I’m sorry."

I Love You: "Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you. This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥. Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end- What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."

"Come on, don't be scared. I'll never let you go."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "Giving you love to the point of pulling you down- It’s just because I still get worried, please forgive me." "I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!" "This is a claim of responsibility from the two of us with matching love." "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart I pretended to be a good girl, I don’t want to be “ok”."

I Love You: "Kiss good-bye to this feeling cuz it’s too heavy? I can’t, no way no way no way."

Parasite:

"Hey, if you love me- Please notice, please notice, please notice, please notice- Let me dream! Why can't you understand? I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Never touch me again."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together."

I Love You: "It’s ok for everyone else but not for me- Unfair and stuck between in love and love." "Sigh... No appetite, I can’t sleep, my hair’s a mess. What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me." "Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

"Wait a second- When did things start going wrong? I loved the bad parts too, everything was fine."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "We fought sometimes, I was happy to get hurt. Let’s have matching pain, this sickness is pretty bad." "Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual. Is because I love you."

I Love You: "Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss you, “See you next week?” sounding in cadence." "Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you. This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥ Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end. What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."

"If only I could drink a lot and have someone fill this hole. I thought I could forget about you."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "I suck at pretending to smile- But see! I feel great because of you."

I Love You: "Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss you. “See you next week?” sounding in cadence. The meaning of life while guilty, I can’t even breathe anymore. My lethal weapon: “This is how to be in love with you”."

Trial 2 Voice Drama

"But… I just normally loved someone. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. And besides, I… can’t live without love."

"Why would you go that far…?"

"Because I know how precious it is to be in love. The moment you love someone, you realize the beauty of the world as it changes. To not forgive me means to take the act of loving away from me. That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe. So… if this love isn’t allowed, then I don’t mind dying. Kotoko-chan’s acts aren’t a problem, either. I think she’s fighting for her own cause as well. So I don’t blame her. Because I also think that I… that my love isn’t wrong. I don’t want to be shamed for my love."

""Friend" is so convenient for you, don't you think? But if we are still connected, I guess it's not that bad."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness. I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing- What do you think? I know it's not the type of question you want to be asked. I can’t help myself because I want to see your cute, confused face, I’m sorry."

I Love You: "This can’t go on, something’s got to give, I even love saying the words, “I love you”. My emotions are out of control, that’s inconvenient? I don’t care! Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?"

Q.09 What do you want from a lover?

Shidou: I want them to stay healthy.

Mahiru: For them to accept my love! That’s all I ask for!

"I was living a lie and started feeling down. It's even worse when you're nice to me- but I don't want to be given the cold shoulder. I was stupid to believe that I was all you need."

This Is How To Be In Love With You Highlighted line in the description- "I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!”

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "We can both feel lonely sometimes but wonder if you’ll get angry soon. I’m going to start relying on you if you’re kind to me, so please forgive me, thanks!" "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, I don’t want to be “ok”. Do you really think you know what love is? If you do, let’s just overheat together."

The focus on them not hugging leading to their hearts drifting apart along with the line about overheating together implies that this distance in their relationship is like giving her the cold shoulder. Because if he really knew what love was then he'd be overheating with her.

I Love You: "I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you. I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that." "Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin. My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight- Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right?"

Trial 2 Voice Drama

"Yeah. – Him and I… we loved each other. Properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. We met in college… It was the first time for me, so I don’t know if it was good or not, but… I think we were just normally going out together. I thought it was fate. He said it was, too."

"Is that so…"

"I’m not… a stalker or anything like that. Although from your point of view, it might seem that way."

"Yeah."

"But I’ve made up my mind. I’ll properly convey my feelings too. He’s dead. It… it might have been because of my love."

Voice Lines

"Ehehe...I love, love, LOVE YOU!! Don't ever let me go, ok! Don’t say you like someone so flippantly! It’ll disappear…… words like “love,” don’t use them! It's love. This is love!"

"These dumb feelings scatter on the count of 1... 2... Shooting star, I'm going to curse her. Hey, give me back the time I used loving you. You liar, you liar, you liar, you liar- But I still love you."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "This is a claim of responsibility from the two of us with matching love."

If you say that someone claims responsibility or credit for something, you mean they say that they are responsible for it, but you are not sure whether or not they are telling the truth.

"Even when I test you, even the times we do the breakup ritual. Is because I love you."

I Love You: ""See you next week?”, sounding in cadence." "Sigh... No appetite, I can’t sleep, my hair’s a mess- What am I supposed to do now? If you won’t tell me, I can’t be me. Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you. This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥- Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end. What you trampled is my, “This is how to be in love with you”."

""Breathe in, breathe out, that's it, make sure to live." Coda of love licking my eardrums, smoke soda that melts away- Hey, please don't leave me behind- Hey, I'm hungry. Turning a blind eye and spitting out saliva, you're going to throw me away like incombustible waste?"

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "The things that I only want to say to you, and the things that I want from you is love." "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart."

I Love You: "Clothes Food Shelter - Love and Miss you. This adorable, earnest, sincere ♥- Is bleeding, wailing, this is the end."

Trial 2 Voice Drama

"That’s the same as not being alive. It’s the same as not being able to drink water or breathe." - "Him and I… we loved each other. Properly as boyfriend and girlfriend. We met in college… It was the first time for me, so I don’t know if it was good or not, but… I think we were just normally going out together. I thought it was fate. He said it was, too."

"Sigh... No appetite, I can’t sleep, my hair’s a mess-"

All feelings and things that can occur after being dumped not just due to her verdict. Though it applies well to both instances.

"Why can't you understand? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you- I REALLY HATE YOU! You won't turn around, I already, I already, I already, I already- Noticed. It's just a bunch of "why", I can't change- I want to, I want to, I want to, I want to- I don't want to leave."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "Do you really think you know what love is?" "I guess we can just say that this feeling is happiness. I can’t stop feeling like there’s something missing-" "I pretended to be a good girl, but really, I don't want to say, "I'm ok"." "I pretended to be a good girl, I don’t want to be “ok”."

I Love You: "Tell me, oh tell me why, won’t you just accept me?" "Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right?"

"These dumb feelings scatter on the count of 1...2... Shooting star. I'm going to congratulate you and her. Hey, I want you to let me hug you at the last moment- Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you- And now you are too... And now you are too."

This Is How To Be In Love With You: "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, but really, I don't want to say, "I'm ok"." "If you don’t hug me, even our hearts will start drifting apart. I pretended to be a good girl, I don’t want to be “ok”."

I Love You: "I don’t need anyone else, as long as I have you. I could do anything as long as you smiled, I actually believed that. The happiness we tightly bound up and suffocated, is no longer here. If I could see you again, I wonder, what would I say to you and how?" "Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love! Mon-mon-monstrous, cuz I love you so much! Mon-mon-monstrously in love in love! A monstrous dilemm..."

"“DIE”."

Kazui Mukuhara

Upon his incarceration into Milgram Kazui was thirty-nine-years-old. On August fifth of that year, he had his fortieth birthday. This year he will be turning forty-three years old. Making his possible birthdate August 5, 1980.

He is a middle-aged man and the oldest out of all the prisoners found here. Tall, smart, and muscular. He tends to be aloof but will often try to lighten the mood through making jokes. He appears to have some martial arts experience. Though he gives off the appearance of a gentle and optimistic person when he comes across any of the individual guards within Milgram, he glares at them as if attempting to observe something. In those moments there’s a strangeness in his gaze.

Over the course of Milgram Kazui has shown himself to be a discreet communicator. Not really one to give up too many emotionally personal details about himself. He’s very quick to give away surface level information if asked for it. Not really hiding his experience with martial arts. He's quick to get down on himself at times. Lamenting his lack of progression in life during certain instances.

At a point seemingly regrettably discussing with Mu how it wouldn’t be weird for him to have a kid around her age when she tells him that her father is 41. Along with discouragingly discussing not having many excuses to get together with friends. He consistently brings up a specific friend of his throughout his first trial written interrogation who he seems to miss a good deal. Kazui has made it clear that he’d rather talk about anything outside of his personal emotions. Be those other things friends, objective facts about himself, the other prisoners, or Milgram as a facility.

20/06/30

Mu: ……yeah, that’s right, since I went to an all-girls school. I’m not really used to being around adult men…… other than Papa.

Kazui: I see…… I get why a big guy like me could be scary for you, then. Hm? Ah…… Kusunoki-chan. Sorry for asking out of the blue, but how old is your father?

Mu: Eh……? Um…… I think he’s 41……

Kazui: ……it wouldn’t be strange for me to have a kid around your age then, huh. I’m getting old. Well, nothing to be gained by thinking about it……

20/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Haruka: ……Kazui-san…… um…… Are you, happy…… on your birthday……?

Kazui: Hm? If I’m being honest, at this age I don’t really think much about birthdays anymore. But…… it can be nice to have as a means to start something. Like, for a friend you haven’t seen in a long while, it’s a good excuse to suddenly start up a conversation, you know? Being able to hear from a bunch of people like that makes it fun.

Haruka: I-is that, so…… That’s… nice…… I’m, kind of… jealous. But, I’d also, want to hear from people…… e-even if, there isn’t a reason……

Kazui: Haha, but it can’t always be like that. You know, for us adults…… we always want a reason or an excuse for everything. ……hm? Wait, is today my birthday? So is that why you went out of your way to talk to me yourself for once, Haruka?

Q.01 What’s your specialty skill?

Kazui: Judo, karate and kendo, I suppose. I’ve been doing judo in particular for a long time now.

Amane: I don’t think I have a particular skill. Would studying count? I’m good at Japanese language.

Q.02 Who do you look up to?

Kazui: You won’t know them even if I say, but I have a childhood friend I really respect. Sorry for just answering someone from my personal life.

Amane: My father. He’s been away on a trip for a while, but I think that’s very honourable of him.

Q.17 If the world was going to end tomorrow, what would you do?

Kazui: Relax and go trawling. The childhood friend I mentioned before has a boat.

Amane: You mean if absolutely everything was going to end? In that case, I’d probably do a bunch of things I’ve never done before.

Cowardly Monte Blanc:

“The sum of my thoughts on everything, if they were expressed in just these words...”

Half: “Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear.”

“There's "darling," I suppose, yet "burden" too; is that the extent of me and you?”

Half: “Only if your heart would change but that’s not possible.”

“Over a contract, we speak.”

Half: “The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart.”

“I'm sinking down again; you've got me, and it's in you where I'll always end.”

Half: “I imagined that you saying, "See you" is the same as "It's over”.”

“Who is it, may I ask, that's being loved? The way that it's been for all that time...”

Half: “I’m sure nothing will change and we’ll laugh together and call each other stupid names.” “Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?”

“Gone away, no longer to be seen, although I know I should yet still be feeling.”

Half: “Please tell me what I should do, feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear.” “So many things I wish I hadn't known, I'm just a coward.” “What I gave up a long time ago, why is it questioning me now? So many things that I should now have known, I'm just a coward.”

“Just give me anesthesia, the burning voice within us...”

Half: “All these memories and you only if I could erase them. All this time till now has hurt me- The scales of my heart has decided to sway, if continuing to hide is called unhappiness- Not even one word will get to you.” “If I were to make sure and suffer, I would rather be by your side.”

“When time has passed, and you forget, reflections fade like sunset...”

Half: “My heart will float away and disappear.” “I could try you and also try to touch you, but you probably won’t notice. I understand that this love is out of bounds, so nothing has to change. All these memories and you only if I could erase them.”

“Real is good? It's not so; I'll always answer no.”

Half: “If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you.” “What I gave up a long time ago, why is it questioning me now?”

“I hesitate away, I'm still a coward.”

Half: “So many things I wish I hadn't known, I'm just a coward.” “So many things that I should now have known, I'm just a coward.”

“You enter time and time again, and it repeats up to the end.”

Half: “The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart. I imagined that you saying, “See you" is the same as “It's over”.”

“And if I just had a reply, I'd gasp for breath, and not to sigh.”

Half: “Please tell me what I should do-” “All this time till now has hurt me, the scales of my heart has decided to sway. If continuing to hide is called unhappiness, not even one word will get to you.” “If I were to make sure and suffer, I would rather be by your side. Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?”

“Heavenly you, you are here, and unfit, disappear.”

Half: “Feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear.” “All these memories and you only if I could erase them.”

“And now, I won't have the chance to tell you how I really feel.”

Half: “I could try you, and also try to touch you but you probably won’t notice.”

"If you died, everything would be fine - do it right away..."

Half: “I understand that this love is out of bounds, so nothing has to change.” “So many things that I should now have known, I'm just a coward.”

“I'm wishing that the whole thing is just a lie.”

Half: "Lies will float away and disappear." "Nothing has to change." "If continuing to hide is called unhappiness not even one word will get to you."

“So off from expected, we conclude.”

“I have myself to thank, it's all 'cause I was still a cowardly montblanc... montblanc.”

Half: “If I were to make sure and suffer, I would rather be by your side. So many things that I should now have known, I'm just a coward. Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?”

Neo-Neon:

“I should have told the truth if it was going to be like this but I wanted to keep on shining to show you I can lie for you.”

Half: “Where did I go wrong, probably from the beginning.” “If continuing to hide is called unhappiness not even one word will get to you.”

“Going in circles, Neo-Neon.”

Half: “The curse of reuniting with you puts a dagger in my heart.” “All these memories and you only if I could erase them.” “I’m sure nothing will change and we’ll laugh together and call each other stupid names.”

“E.g. I get sick of you, E.g. I won’t always be able to be with you. Something that impossible is impossible- Love always wins and I always lose and that’s fine.”

Half: “I could try you, and also try to touch you but you probably won’t notice.” “I understand that this love is out of bounds, so nothing has to change.” “What I gave up a long time ago, why is it questioning me now?”

Voice Lines

“Er, so…… could you listen to what I say without laughing? I…… Hinako, I love you more than anything. I’m so dumb. Why did I have to dream?”

“E.g. if the person who apologizes is the bad one- I will make myself the devil and say “I’m sorry” a million times. If it makes you smile from the heart.”

Half: “If I were to make sure and suffer, I would rather be by your side.” “Laughing together, side by side, this distance in our relationship is misleading me, is this what happiness is?”

“E.g. If we give each other scars that don’t heal. E.g. If we can laugh about it in the future. We can just say it doesn’t hurt and laugh about it. Is it selfish to make it into my favorite shape and love it?”

Half: “All these memories and you only if I could erase them. All this time till now has hurt me, the scales of my heart has decided to sway.” “I’m sure nothing will change, and we’ll laugh together and call each other stupid names. So, many things I wish I hadn't known, I'm just a coward.”

“It’s all a waste if the end comes. I can’t say it even if it kills me.”

Half: “Feelings shrouded in lies will float away and disappear.”

“E.g. I can’t be your ideal person. Does that surprise you? Didn’t you expect that? How should I answer all of what you want to do?”

Half: “Please tell me what I should do.”

“I’m probably a phony through and through.”

Kotoko Yuzuriha

Upon incarceration to Milgram Kotoko was twenty years old. On December fifteenth of 2020 she turned 21 years old, making her possible birthdate January 15, 1999. A woman with a rather cool appearance and a personality to match. She’s characterized by her slit eyes. She’s on the taller side and noticeably fit. She is unusually logical making her come off as cold and difficult to approach in comparison to the other women within Milgram who have more relaxed personalities. Despite what first impressions may lead some to believe she holds no malice. She observes the other prisoners within Milgram more than even the guards or Es and will sometimes offer to exchange information.

Anti Beat

“My back gets itchy when you try to put your arms around me.”

Harrow: “Stained emotions, what is winning or losing.”

“Those eyes which look on me so kindly; can I gouge them out? Plucked from their sockets please hang them up for all to see.”

Harrow: “I’ll gouge you out with my fangs.” “Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion. “I didn’t mean to offend”, “I won’t do it again”. How many wins in a row?”

Q.11 Do you have a romantic partner?

Kotoko: I don’t. I’ll make one if needed.

“This rice tastes terrible having just kissed you.”

Harrow: “Stained emotions what is winning or losing feeding on food, so I don’t burn out?” “Shall we replace the poor soul, and the miserable delusion?”

Voice Drama

““Milgram says this…” You don’t look like the lying type warden and it’s not like you seem confused either. Well, I have a liking for the honest type.”

“You think you’re above me?”

“More like the benefactor who saved you.”

“The atmosphere is terrible when you are nearby.”

Harrow: “The normalcy sought for, fading away, every time death comes the soul moves forward. I hate all the evils in this world, I feel like I’m about to break the surrounding net covered with poison.” “I’ll teach you the pain you caused.”

“Painfully unpleasant, come and receive this punishment for loving me.”

Harrow: “What should the punishment be?” “It’s ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it, what should I hope for? Goodnight “HARROW HARROW” Laugh and I can get to like myself. Let’s end this!”

Voice Drama

“Es don’t you want to join forces with me? I think we would make good partners.” - “Working together and sharing our findings what do you think?”

“Let’s cooperate Es between the two of us our stakes should be the same.”

“Really, the same stakes. Me as a prison guard, and you as a prisoner?”

“Correct. Because I’m being kept here I can observe and analyze Milgram.”

“And is this something a prisoner should be doing?”

“To conclude, I’ve come up with a hypothesis. I think this is a place designed to discern the good and evil within truth.”

“The good and evil within truth?”

“Is it really necessary, ignoring the world’s pre-existing methods of judging evil, going through all this effort to gather all these murderers here, questioning whether or not they have sinned? Despite being told that we are prisoners we aren’t restrained and allowed to roam this place freely. What is the point of looking into the prisoners true natures when it comes to judging their crimes?”

“…”

“Even if you believe otherwise, Milgram has to be the result of someone who considers the modern judgement of good and evil to be unsound.”

“You’re not wrong Milgram doesn’t rely on law as a basis. The same can be said about my judgements. All this time I’ve just been finding my own basis.”

“Hmm…we can really work together.”

Sometime Earlier in the Portal Timeline

20/07/01

Mikoto: Hey, hey, Koto-chan. I’ve been thinking this ever since I first heard your name, but don’t you think the names “Mikoto” and “Kotoko” kinda sound like siblings?

Kotoko: No.

Mikoto: Don’t say that! Let’s get along well from here on as the Koto-Koto combo!

Kotoko: I’m not doing that.

Voice Drama

“You should be the one to know about this. The cells here don’t even have locks.”

“I…should know?”

“For example, since I was suspicious of Mikoto Kayano. I’d been carefully tracking him and his behavior, all under your permission.”

Mikoto can't stop being stalked even within Milgram. That's sort of fucked up.

“I just want to die already so I can finally be at ease. Anti Beat. But all I know is pain and there's nowhere to run.”

Harrow: “I feel like I’m going crazy after straining my nerves. The person that can’t be saved, is now understanding the abnormality.” “What should I hope for?” “Laugh and I can get to like myself. Goodnight.”

Voice Drama

“This is the first time someone has managed to deduce the true nature of Milgram to such a degree.”

“This really is an unbelievable, unreal place. Personally, I don’t find it that bad though. It even helped to reduce my workload.”

“Kotoko what could someone like you be planning?”

“Heh. I want to be like you. I refuse to tolerate sin.”

“"Thinking about ’I love you' reminds me of that nauseous feeling". "Just being near you turns me into a different person". Yeah, I tried telling you this so many times. How is it? The taste of these sins.”

Harrow: “Whose fault is it; this is getting ridiculous. What should the punishment be?” “I just can’t let it go.”

Voice line

“What do you think? Does it hurt? Purge complete. This is the appropriate punishment.”

Voice Drama

“How about it; do you understand me as a person now?”

“May I say something?”

“What is it?”

“Kotoko you are a murderer.”

“…”

“You are a prisoner of Milgram, and beyond doubt, a killer. You are one of those so called “sinner” that you despise so much. Do not forget that you yourself are in a positioned to be judged.”

“Huh… A “murderer”…is that so? Trying to remind me of my low position in the hierarchy of this place?”

Sometime Later in the portal Timeline

22/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time.

Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you.

Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.

Kazui: Oh, how scary. That girl truly is frightening. ……well then, I wonder what the guard will decide to do with me. That’s the one thing I really can’t make out. Honestly……

Super funny how everyone is like Kazui is so cop coded when Kotoko licks boots for breakfast, lunch, and dinner all to get higher up in the ranks. Just saying this is the “girlboss”? Really, more like “narc”, “snitch”, “rat”, “scab”, “strikebreaker”, "union buster", “kiss ass”, “ass kisser”, “brown noser”, “suck up”, "sellout". Literally her second song is called Deepcover. Like do people not know what a deep cover is?

“Deep cover, by definition, means you will be expected to maintain an alternative persona for an extended period of time to infiltrate a criminal operation and gather evidence. The job requires an ability to handle pressure and conceal identify even if interrogated.”

“It's gradually reaching its limit this world where you exist.”

Harrow: “Stained emotions, what is winning or losing.” “Becoming light-headed again, it all becomes crazy.” “I feel like I’m going crazy after straining my nerves.”

“What part of me do you like? If you tell me, I’ll do anything for you. If I'm told “I love all of you, every single part” I'll just be filled with hate. I absolutely detest the “me” which loves you.”

Harrow: “I want to be drowning in the knowledge that I am right.”

“Hey, hey, every time you smile these heartbeats of mine double in speed. All that you've done for me, all that you've given me, it just, it just… Hey, hey where the heck is that “hole” of yours I was searching for? All that you've done for me, all that you've given me, it has turned me into such a mess- Everything is just such a mess…”

Harrow: “Whose fault is it, this is getting ridiculous. What should the punishment be. Want to find “HARROW HARROW”. "I feel like I’m going crazy after straining my nerves. The person that can’t be saved, Is now understanding the abnormality.” “How heavy, “HARROW” “HARROW”, if it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it- I want gouge you out with my fangs.”

Voice Line

“From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!”

#milgram #shiina mahiru #fuuta kajiyama #kashiki yuno #kotoko yuzuriha #kazui mukuhara

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