#mostly cause when i got my hair cut the other day the barber was so gentle with my head it was sooo foreign | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tommyspeakycap · 3 years

Note

omgg write something about playing or braiding jack’s hair

oh em gee I love this !!!!! I loved his hair braid too omg

Jack had a very specific barber he liked to go to to get the same quality haircut he always got. He trusted that specific barber and his appointments were always made in advance to absolutely ensure he could get it done the way he liked by whom he liked at the right time so it never got overgrown or hard to manage. Jack was very specific about his hair and about keeping it the way he liked it to be. It was part of his image, part of him really. The Brummie boy hated when anyone else touched it. Be that joking team members giving his head a teasing push or his dad ruffling his hair each time he walks in the door, it irks the living daylights right out of him.

So it seems as though it’s Jack’s own personal nightmare now the barbers are shut with absolutely no sign of opening up for at least another month and Jack can’t seem to take one minute more of training with his hair getting all up in his eyes, dropping into his face and blowing wildly in Birmingham wind even with a headband in. It is driving him absolutely insane. It’s all he can think of in this moment.

And that is because he currently has your fingers tangled in it completely absentmindedly as he lays in between with your legs with his legs stretched out along the L section of the L shaped couch. Your eyes are fully focussed on the storyline evolving throughout an old episode of Greys Anatomy. Jack’s arms are around your torso as his head rests comfortably on your lower stomach with his eyes peacefully shut. He would usually engage in the TV with you, but the preseason after an unexpected break that had him doing less exercise than he definitely should have been doing had him absolutely shattered.

It was rare for even you to touch the locks he took so laughably serious, but it felt like the most soothing experience he’d maybe ever had to feel the gentility of your finger massaging over his scalp in the most relaxing manner he’d ever known. Even his sports massages after long matches weren’t this relaxing.

“Mmmhm, feels so good.” He murmurs, his voice ticking your stomach as he speaks against it, the sigh that leaves him making you giggle in response. “So annoyin’ in training.” He adds tiredly, but not lacking in the obvious irritation he feels towards it. Jack tends to feel a lot and often, and even seemingly small things like his hair getting in the way of his play was unimaginably irritating for him.

“I could cut it?” You suggest.

“Yeah,” he snorts, “And end up like the poor dog? I’ll pass love.”

“Aw come on! It wasn’t that bad.” You retort

“He looked like a street rat with curls, sweetheart.” He laughs, despite the disappointment he feels for your hands leaving his hair for the first time since he lay down tonight.

“Cheek.”

“Sorry baby.” He lulls, finally looking up at you for the first time, lifting his face to offer you a smile that strained him. Holding his head up like that was too much for his already tired muscles, so he’s quickly laying his head back to its resting place. You can’t think of anything else to retort with, knowing full and well the incredibly poor state of affairs that occurred in your household three weeks into Lockdown 1 after you attempted to give the dog a haircut out of pure boredom and lack of open dog grooming services. The state of affairs being Jack crawling to the bathroom on his knees and one hand with the other hand holding onto his crotch because he was trying so hard not to wet himself from laughing at the poor pup who looked so confused that his dad hadn’t been able to greet him as normal when he returned from the weekly food shop.

Jack very nearly did piss on your good cream carpet that day, so it was fair for him to not trust your barber skills either. Especially being the way he is about his hair.

“You know the old episodes make me miss Derek.” You announce after a moment of only the television speaking between the two of you.

“He the one with the hair?” Jack mumbles. You snort a laugh.

“They’ve all got hair, Jack. Go on, say it then?”

“Fine,” he huffs indignantly, “The one with the good hair.”

Your giggle makes his heart erupt into butterflies that dance through his stomach and chest just like it does every single time he gets to be lucky enough to hear it. Jack doesn’t like to admit when others have hair he likes. He prefers to live in a world where his hairstyle is simply the best, and truly he usually does. He tends to live in his own world anyway. The world where his hair is fantastic, he gets to do what he loves for a living and come home to you each and every day. That’s his world and fucking hell does he love that world.

In reality though, part of that world is that however fictional Derek Shepherd may be, his hair is fantastic and always looks rather immaculate. Something Jack can’t quite relate to at this current moment in time. “You know this episode is kinda about his hair,” you note softly, hands smoothing back over your boyfriends brown locks. He knows by the tone of your voice that you’re going to go into more detail about the episode currently playing through on Amazon Prime TV. Some people may well have been annoyed listening to their girlfriends recounting entire episodes of TV shows that they weren’t exactly inclined to watch, but Jack was not one of those men. He didn’t care what you were talking about, just the sound of you talking was enough to make him listen intently. He loved to hear you talk, and if that was the only thing that he ever got to hear for the rest of his life then he’d still be happy.

“They adopted a little girl and he hasn’t quite figured her hair out yet but everyone’s shocked ‘cause his hairs pretty good. Like you, a little. You got good hair, just haven’t learned to manage it yet eh?” You explain, weaving your fingers in and out of those stands of hair that make him hum in both understanding and enjoyment. He isn’t sure what you’re doing, but the weaving of stands, pads of your fingers dancing over his scalp carefully, softly feels like what he might imagine heaven to be. “Yeah?” He asks, “And what does he do then?” His voice is filled with genuine interest for what you were saying. It was the first time you’d ever known that in a relationship. He heard you snigger softly to yourself. “He learns from someone who knows a bit more about hair than he does.” You state pointedly, prompting him to roll his eyes even if you can’t see him.

“I’m not letting you cut my hair, (y/n). Not happening, I’m sor-“

“Alright, Jack. I bloody know! That’s not what I meant.” You grumble. Jack can immediately imagine your disgruntled pout already, with those irritated narrowed eyes and the playful scrunch of your nose. “Sorry.” Every time he sees that look on you, he moves to kiss that furrow out of your nose. It makes his heart smile each and every time he sees it. You are simultaneously the most beautiful, more adorable and hottest woman he has ever laid his eyes on. “Sorry baby,” he reiterated, “Go on.”

“I could braid it for you?”

That earns a belly laugh from him that reverberates through your body, jostling with the force of his whole body laughter. “So you will,” he bellows in breaks between the ever comedic gasping from breath after each loud laugh. “Not a chance.”

He pushes himself up to sit back on his knees, trapping your legs between his as he looks down at you with a huge grin still stretching his lips and creasing his eyes, yet they still sparkle in adoration for you. “Oh yeah?” You muse with a giggle to follow despite the firm attempt to seal it behind clenched lips. The giggle sets those dimples into your cheeks, his eyes just drinking you up as you lounge back on the huge couch there in front of him, sinking back into the pillows just like he had been sinking against you in comfort for hours only moments ago. “Yeah.” He repeats firmly, the playful jest of his words not lost on your ears as he leans forward.

With the emission of only a small, surprised yelp from you that turns the head of the dog in his bed for only a moment, Jack has grabbed your legs to tug you down so you were laying flat on your back on the L of the sofa. He leans over you, hands and strong arms keeping him above you with ease. “Realllly?” You tease, one eyebrow quirked. Jack loves it when you do that, mostly because he can’t and he finds it beautifully funny.

Your hands reach up to his face, cupping over the beard on his cheeks to bring his face down to peck his lips before letting him press back up like a simple press up over your body. This was a common occurrence between the pair of you and Jack had always loved to show off. “Not cuttin’ about with a braid in my hair baby, sorry.”

He dips down for another kiss and you break out another giggle that parts your lips from his. “You already are, bub.”

“Ya what?” He pops straight up, sitting again back on his knees. “Not falling over your face now eh?” You taunt with a cheeky grin that makes him furrow his brows. Jack removed his hands from beside you to run one after the other over the top of his hair, a weird mix of a grin and disbelief washing over his face. Your sweetheart smile warms his heart as you lay there looking up at him with tired eyes and a lazy smile, cheeks flushed and one of his old cotton shirts keeping you warm long after his body raises from yours.

“Wait there!” He yells, bounding off the couch to all but leap through the living room until he reaches the mirror in the hall just outside the door. “Babe!” He cheers through the house, appearing back in the doorway of the room. “Nah it’s kinda cool, you fuckin’ smashed that!” You sit up and turn around towards him with your hand covering your mouth in a giggle that makes him stride forward and tug your hand away so he can see that beautiful smile. He jumps back again. “And look; stays in when I move around like-”

An immediate howl of laughter breaks out of your mouth with your head tipped back in hysterics as you watch him run on the spot, jump on the spot and then shake his head around like your puppy when he had a cone on his head. You laugh so hard your laughter looses its noise, simply existing as a elongated wheeze and a sudden gasp for desperate air to aid and allow for only more laughter. “Why you laughing for?” He yells, his words split by his own laughter as he tugs you to your feet, standing taller than him when your on your feet on the couch. Jack wraps one arm around your waist and moves the other down to the bend of your knees to sweep your legs from beneath you, perching you on the edge of the back of the couch.

“It,” kiss, “is,” kiss, “perfect.” Kiss.

“Just like you, baby.” He rumbles lowly, “Perfect just like my girl. Gonna wear it to training. Keep hair out my face, remind me of you, perfect.” He just keeps talking, keeps praising you between kisses while he brings you closer and closer to him until you can wrap your legs around him. Locked in place, he takes your face in his hands.

“So you’ll let me braid it again?” You chime, eyes lighting up. Jack chuckles, thumbs smoothing over your cheeks with a kiss pressed to the tip of your nose. “Course baby. Every day.”

True to his word Jack Grealish is. Every night he comes home from his training, he’s laying on the couch letting you massage the days stresses out of his mind, letting your fingers weave the tension out of his scalp. Jack’s never let anyone take care of him so much. He’s never felt comfortable to be taken care of like this, but you are his exception. His one single exception. And every morning he sits in the floor at the foot of the bed while you sit with a leg on either side of him, fingers weaving the strands into place for the day and tighter for match days. People make comments but Jack doesn’t give even half of a shit. His hair is how he likes it; out of his face so he can concentrate on his game and it gives you more of a reason to actually be up in the morning when he leaves before the sun rises above you. That’s perfect for Jack.

Until his next haircut, the only time that footballer doesn’t have a braid through his hair is when your fingers are tangling in it while he’s between your legs for another very enjoyable reason.

#jack grealish imagines #jack grealish imagine #jack grealish x reader #england national team imagine #england national team #jack grealish #jack grealish blurb #jack grealish prompt #footballer fics

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inlovewiththefictionalcharacters · 3 years

Text

SECOND CHANCE

CHAPTER - 2 : WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD!

Pairing: (Dark) Andy Barber x Reader.

Warning(s): Non-Con; Dub-con; Slow-burn(Maybe); Possible Defending Jacob spoilers; Possessiveness; Grief; Angst; Obsessive toddler(😛); Not proofread; Any other possible warnings will be added in the future chapters.

Summary: Follow Andy’s journey after the horrible accident that turned his whole world upside down.

*****

Series Masterlist

*****

Safe to say that the tea party left the stuffies bored while Y/N was amused seeing the little girl fawn over a car while wiggling in her momma’s lap, staring at the car.

It went along with the occasional “Look momma! Car! Car! Carrrrrrrrrrr!”

It went to the point where Y/N had to gently admonish her, telling that it’s rude. The little girl pouted hearing that but kept staring at the car, her stuffies and the tea party long forgotten. After trying to get Ada resume the tea party, Y/n gave up and said that they need to get inside, mentally hoping that they had not weirded their new neighbor out. Little Ada just huffed at her mom and stood up, grabbing the arm of her stuffed bunny.

Y/N suppressed a chuckle, seeing the toddler’s behavior and gather all the stuff they brought outside while grabbing the toddler’s free hand with her other hand. With that, they made their way inside while Ada kept looking at the car, with the packers and movers’ movement catching her eyes momentarily. It was at that time did she see the man who drove the car she was currently obsessed with. The man’s smile widened looking at Ada and Ada’s face brightened immediately with a smile.

He waved at her as she was being led inside and Ada’s smile widened to a toothy grin and she waved back at him with the stuffed bunny still in her hand, causing the man to chuckle softly in adoration.

*****

The next day, Y/n decided to meet the new neighbor and try to welcome him to the neighborhood. Her decision was partly contributed by little Ava who kept on talking about the neighbor’s car leaving Y/N to roll her eyes at her daughter. Having heard enough of the girl talking about not just the car, but also the neighbor whom she apparently saw before they went inside the house, Y/n decided to just welcome the man to the neighborhood by giving him some baked goods. After announcing that she’s going to make some cookies for him, little Ada insisted that they should make choco-chip cookies for the pretty man. Pretty man - her exact words.

Y/N chuckled, shaking her head and started getting to work with Ada as her little helper. Might look barbaric for outsiders seeing a little girl help her mother but Ada mostly ended up smuggling off some of the choco-chips and the dough to eat them. She did try to help her mother in the beginning but ended up throwing the flour on herself and on the counter while trying to mix the ingredients.

After pushing the tray of cookies into the oven to bake, Y/N hoisted the little girl into her arms and carried her to the bathroom to clean her up and then dressed her into clean clothes while the toddler chanted cookies. After making sure that all the chores are done by the time the cookies are baked and the mother-daughter duo were presentable - first impressions - Y/N stored a few cookies in a jar for themselves and the rest were packed in a tupperware. Little Ada even made a cute drawing for the neighbor, one which involved him and his car with herself and her mom on it too, with a caption on the top of the paper stating “Welcome to the neighborhood” which of course she wrote taking great help from her mother. Y/N wasn’t entirely sure of giving the drawing to their new neighbor, but Ada almost threw a tantrum when her mother tried to talk her out of it.

Having everything ready, Y/N held her daughter’s hand in her and the tupperware box filled with baked goods in others and walked out of the house with the toddler clutching the drawing in her free hand like her life depends on it.

Locking the door, the mother-daughter duo made their way towards the house beside theirs which finally got someone residing in it. Stopping on the porch, Y/N rang the doorbell and waited while Ada kept looking at her mom and at the door.

“Coming!” they heard a voice holler from the other side of the door and a moment later, the door was opened and a man in his late thirties stood in front of them, on the other side of the door. His head has fluffy brown hair and the beard adorning his jaw was trimmed with his sharp nose sitting on his face, but Y/N thought that the most beautiful feature of his were his blue eyes. He, for some reason, looked stunned looking at her and the same could be said for Y/N when she looked at him.

It was her who broke out of the reverie first by clearing her throat, a bit making him to break out of his.

“Hi! I’m Y/N and this here-” she started, looking down at her daughter who was now hiding behind her legs while peeking out to look at him shyly “-is Ada. We’d like to welcome you to the neighborhood!” she chirped, handing him the box of cookies.

He smiled at her and took the box from her, thanking her and introduced himself “I’m Andy” holding his hand out and Y/N shook his hand.

The two of them felt a soft zap shoot through their bodies from their hands as soon as their hands connected and their breath hitched, looking at each other.

Clearing his throat, he looked down at his feet and then up at Y/N and then down while Y/N looked flustered. He then tilted his head to look at Ada and her mom pulled her from behind her legs and gently nudged her towards Andy. Andy immediately knelt down as Ada stood in front of him, coming to her level, but still towering over her.

“Hi there, little angel” he cooed looking at the little toddler in front of him.

“Hi” she mumbled shyly and thrusted the folded paper in her hands in front of her, giving it to him. He took it and unfolded the paper and smiled staring at the drawing.

“Welcome to the neigh... to the neigh... neigh...” Ada frowned, forgetting the word.

Andy smiled at her and said “Thank you so much, little Angel! Oh, the drawing is so pretty. Thank you so much!”, gently booping her little nose.

Ada immediately smiled at him and said “You so pretty!” gaining some courage with their ongoing interaction.

“Thank you! But you are more pretty” he cooed after chuckling.

He then looked at Y/N with a smile and stood up.

“Forgive me. Where are my manners. Please, come in” he invited.

“Oh, no. That won’t be necessary. We don’t want to disturb you. We just wanted to give you-” Y/N started, but Andy cut her off, saying “Please, I insist. It’s getting a bit lonely here, anyways.”

Ada too looked at her expectedly and voiced out “Mama, go in?”

Y/N smiled at her and then looked back at And and nodded her head. Andy immediately moved to his side, letting the two of them in.

#second chance #chapter 2 #welcome to the neighborhood #andy barber #defending jacob #andrew barber #andrew steven barber #dark andy barber #dark andy barber x reader #dark andy barber x oc #dark! andy barber #dark! andy barber x reader #dark! andy barber x oc #dark!andy barber #dark!andy barber x reader #dark!andy barber x oc #ada #adaline #dark fanfiction

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optimistic-dinosaur-nacho · 4 years

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Which Chris Evans characters would be the biggest fans of just making out on the couch (nothing more, nothing less. just making out) on a rainy day?

Which characters portrayed by the dumb sweater dork Chris Evans would be the biggest fans of making out on the couch on a rainy day?

I got you. From my experience-- I mean my perspective of watching these characters in action on screen, well here’s my way of how MUCH they love make out sessions on the couch.

Warnings: Implied smut, language

Characters: Chris Evans, Steve Rogers, Ransom Drysdale, Colin Shea, Jake Jensen, Andy Barber, Johnny Storm

Chris Evans Rating: 9/10

(Not a character but must go first cause... he’s cute)

This man has no problem on a rainy day, even though it ruins his day out on a trail in his home town or he can’t spend the day out with you. But it’s okay! You got him where you want him. A day at home with Dodger by your side. Watching your favorite show. Chris is all in for the affection and he’s not the one who makes the first move but he loves to have his arm around you. Making out on the couch is rarely made. Sometimes smalls kisses, you two can go back and forth and then it just ends towards the bed.

It depends on who’s in the mood for a make out sesh. You sometimes are. But if you’re watching something you don’t like but Chris does, he might cut the session and go back to watching with you closer than before and his hands are roaming but he will pause the show. If no shows and you just miss him on that rainy day and you two talk and talk about your days, it’ll end up in a make out session too. Sometimes Dodger gets kicked off the couch or he leaves and sleeps on his own bed. And maybe there’s music in the background, you know how he is.

Steve Rogers Rating: 7/10

Steve’s very affectionate when it comes to you. He’s going to do whatever to keep you company and make sure you aren’t alone. You’re surprised why I gave him a seven. I take him as a soft kisser, meaning he isn’t always going to make a kiss last for more than a minute. But not because he doesn’t want to, he just can’t find the right moment to unless it’s in bed. On a rainy day, he’s going to hold you on the couch, you’re going to watch a film or show and he’s going to keep you there forever.

He can’t find the way to start it but if you do, he just goes with the flow but he’s always unsure it’s the right time to so he’s cautious of where he hands are. If comfortable around you, sure he’s going to pull you onto his lap and kiss you for good long minutes before pulling away. “You should finish your movie, doll.”

Ransom Drysdale Rating: 11/10

This man has no other plans. If you’re willing to make out with him, he’s going to do it and he’s not letting you take the lead. He’s mostly the one who jumps first. He doesn’t enjoy much of your binge on films and shows, he gets bored easily with television. He’s going to have you at any time and any place. You’re watching TV and he’s sighing every minute, silently complaining on the quietness and your pleasure in watching what you put on for your liking.

It’s raining out. It’s hitting the roof and the windows, it’s calming but Ransom would love it if he had you hum on his lips. Mostly on raining days (his favorite), you always got yourself hot chocolate or if you’re lucky a peppermint one. He loves tasting that on your tongue and when he reaches for that remote, he turns off the TV. “Hey! We aren’t finished with the season-!” He’s got you under him and you forgot about the TV. His hair falling over his face and tickling your forehead, you tug on his sweater but he grabs your wrist. “Easy with your grip. This costs a lot, baby girl.” You reach up to his hair then tugged on that earning a grunt and his lips back onto yours.

Colin Shea Rating: 10/10

Colin Shea is a couch potato. And he never learns to remove his shoes off your couch but you just have to allow it sometimes. The couch is big enough to have you both sleep on there. He’s sleeping most of the time on your couch when you leave for work. On this rainy day, too, the rain can be soothing sometimes to fall asleep with. Coming up to see him on your couch asleep and when he wakes up, a grin forms weakly on his lips. “Hey, sleepy head.”

“I was watching the door for 2 hours,” He says.

You nod, “I bet.” Making your way over to the tired baby, you leaned down to kiss him as a greeting but his foot catches the back of your knee and you stumble onto him with a huff including himself with the chest-to-chest impact, you laugh on his lips when he chuckles. You then kissed him. His hand lazily droops over your back and yours reaches up to caress his jaw. Colin is a good kisser and he does like to take the kissing and making out further. But this time, you just get the lazy kisses ever today but you loved it anyway.

Jake Jensen Rating: 10000/10

Jake Jensen is that guy for the make out couch session. He’s a flirter and he loves making the first move. He enjoys so much of the couch make out. Rainy days, it’s the perfect time for him. He’s not smooth most of the time, but he knows how to play it cool. He’s not much of a sore loser. A non-stop talker, you can shut him up with a kiss and he’ll forget what he was saying. Jake Jensen is a BIG fan of rainy day make out sessions. It goes over the roof.

Sometimes you’d tease him, saying you want to finish the movie and he’ll just sit there and pout. “Did I do something wrong?” He would ask you, you’ll just shake your head with a grin. “I’m not in the mood,” You would lie. His shoulder were drop, “Seemed like you were...” But don’t worry, you’ll be the one to say ‘fuck it’ and turn off the TV to continue what the Loser started.

And be careful.

“Ergh, Jensen!!”

Unwanted guest may walk in on your session.

Andy Barber Rating: 8/10 (okay mr. barber)

He’s a very affectionate, he’s domestic a lot. He’s going to give you much love when it doesn’t even need to be given. He does it every second to let you know every second that he’s lucky to have you and that he worships you. When it comes to Andy, he’s very classic. With a family, he’s going to watch movies with you and the kid(s).

When the kid(s) are out with their friend’s spending the night, he’s always going to have time with you. A movie in the living room and old time show you two watched as kids in high school. Either with a lot of kids or that your only child is bothering you every second of the day, Andy has his time with you for the next 12 hours. He’s going to show you how much he’s happy with you and the kids. Maybe want another. Making out on the couch on a rainy day is always rare, but he loves to do it. He’ll whisper how much he loves you, how much he wanted this family. Even as kids, you two made out on your dad’s couch, sometimes in your bedroom. So this brought a lot of memories, his hand caressing your thigh under the small grey blanket as he kisses you lovingly.

Even with so much time, he’s willing to take his slow. Amazing kisser and so much loving to go towards you.

Johnny Storm Rating: 8/10 (obviously)

Johnny Storm (my boyfriend), lucky, lucky you! Johnny’s going to love making out on the couch. Uninterrupted make out session on the couch but it is done very often. Most of his partners aren’t always around so he’s got his time with you on the couch to watch something. Sometimes you both would get bored in the film and just jump on each other’s bones. Sometimes the guy could get very heated in the session and you’d have to take off your top because he just heats up too quick. Breaking a sweat in a make out session, isn’t normal but it’s Johnny so you just keep going.

When someone mentions the sweat on your forehead you simply say, “Gym day.” And they’ll believe you. Then Johnny’s there smirking in the corner. He’s very flirty and he wants his way with you. Whatever affect he has on you, he’s going to up his confidence and keep going. So just be warned, this man can’t control himself most of the time. Especially his heat.

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#steve rogers x reader #chris evans x reader #ransom drysdale x reader #johnny storm x reader #andy barber x reader #jake jensen x reader #colin shea x reader #optimistic-dinosaur-nacho #Opti-Dino-Nacho Drabbles

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fangirlovestuff · 4 years

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Worth It - Andy Barber x reader

a/n- Hey lovely people! this was written for @stargazingfangirl18 & @navybrat817 ‘s shameless hoes for chris challenge, and I can’t be happier that our baby Andy’s first appearance on this blog is for their challenge! thoughts are in italics and the prompt is in bold. also a disclaimer - i’ve never been to a singles mixer lol. Enjoy!<3

Prompts: We are the only two people at this god awful event who seemed to be utterly miserable, so let’s be miserable together & “Can you just not right now?”

Summary: you never believed in singles mixers, but something about this stranger might just change that...

Word count: ~2,570

Warnings: smut!!, explicit language. please don’t read if you are uncomfortable with those things!

Your eyes wandered around the room for the umpteenth time that night. It was packed full of people who were talking to one another, mostly paired up, usually leaning towards each other. Lashes were flattered, muscles were subtly flexed, arms brushed "accidentally". The usual joys of a singles mixer.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. Why the fuck did you let your friend convince you to come with her? She was currently talking to some douchebag in a suit that was clearly rented to make him look fancier but didn't even fit him that well. You had a sense of admiration for her for being optimistic enough to believe she'll find a guy in these things.

You, however, didn't share that sentiment. You hung out close to the bar, downing a couple of drinks and quickly shutting down any attempt any male has made to talk to you. About five minutes after you got here you realized there wasn't anyone there who looked like they could fit you. Who knows, maybe your taste in men was a bit much, but you certainly wouldn't lower your standards for the men in that room.

Now, forty minutes later, you were just about ready to bail, but you didn't want to leave your friend alone. So, you just sat there, fumbling with your phone, hoping your friend would soon realize how pointless this was.

As you were ordering another drink, you caught the door opening slightly from the corner of your eye. Probably someone who's late. Although you couldn't fathom what was the point of arriving to these things late. To be fair, you couldn't fathom the reason to be at these things at all.

Sure, you wanted to find love. But you had pretty much given up on the idea that there was someone out there for you. That was a bit of a naïve notion in your opinion, the search for true love. Anyway, you did fine on your own, it's not like you needed a man in your life.

Doesn't mean you didn't want one though.

You drowned that thought and the extra drink you had just gotten. You should probably cut back on the drinks; you don't want to be hungover the next day.

You suddenly realized someone was coming to lean on the bar beside you. He ordered a drink, deep voice reaching your ears despite the chatter in the room. You lifted your head from your phone to look at the stranger from the corner of your eye. He shrugged the suit jacket off his shoulders and sat down.

Damn, he definitely wasn't here before. Probably the one who just got in, you realized. You looked at his handsome profile, brown hair that seemed soft to touch, and a suit that actually fit his quite broad frame.

Maybe this night isn't gonna be such a waste after all. Sure, you didn't expect to fall in love, but it's been a while since you got laid. The stranger caused a tingly sensation inside you that made want to change that.

He looked over at you, blue eyes piercing into yours. You noticed the way his lashes cast a slight shadow on his cheekbones, and that beard was framing his face very nicely. There was really no other way to say it, he was hella hot.

"Can you just not right now?" he said suddenly and sighed. You raised your eyebrows and scoffed, diverting your gaze into your nearly empty glass and pursing your lips. Okay, never mind, asshole alert.

"I'm sorry," he said after a moment passed. "I'm just not really interested in meeting anyone right now. I saw you looking at me so—"

"Whatever," you cut him off, a little embarrassed he caught you ogling him. "If you aren't interested in anything, why are you even here?"

"A friend forced me into it. She basically pushed me through the door," he chuckled, sipping his drink.

A she friend. Maybe that's the reason he wasn't interested. "Well, I can't say I don't understand that," you sympathized, scouring the room in search of your friend again. You were just in time to catch her going out the door with that douche. "Shit," you muttered under your breath.

"Excuse me?" he asked, equal parts amused and puzzled.

"My friend just left with some jerk," you downed the rest of your drink, "and as the person who talked me into this shithole, that's rude of her," you sent a tight-lipped smile to the stranger. "So now I'm pretty much stranded here because she was my ride home." You opened your phone to order an Uber. You blamed the alcohol for making you overshare like this.

"Hey," the stranger said, "How about we have a drink and I could give you a ride home? Duffy threatened to wait outside for a half-hour to make sure I stay, and I have no doubt she's gonna make good on that," he smiled.

"Hmmm, excuse me if I'm not gonna jump on that offer, complete stranger I just met," you smirked.

"Oh, right, sorry. Where I come from everyone knows me," he said, surprisingly bitter. "I'm Andy," he smiled.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Andy," you said and introduced yourself. "So, you're a celeb where you come from, huh? What do you do?"

"I'm- I was a lawyer. Right now, I'm looking for a job. And celeb isn't really the word I would use," he said in that bitter tone once more. You got the message – he really didn't want to talk about it.

"So is Duffy a lawyer too?" you changed the subject quickly.

"No, she's a cop, but we worked together sometimes," he said. "What about you, what do you do?"

You spent the next few minutes getting to know each other, the conversation flowing easily. He had more wit in his little finger than most people you met at these things had in their whole body. Smart's the new sexy, but it's not like he wasn't sexy enough as it is.

"So, how come your friend talked you into coming here and then left you?" he asked.

"Well, we're the only two of our friends who aren't married, or engaged or whatever, so everyone's nagging us to 'find someone'. She really thinks these things are the place where she could find her person. I, personally, think it's bullshit," you said and he chuckled. "But hey, the things you do for your friends," you shrugged.

"Yeah," he looked at you and smiled. He thought he was being subtle, but you noticed the way his eyes quickly moved to your cleavage, which was looking quite nice in this dress if you could say so yourself, and back to your face. Maybe not all hope for tonight was lost, you thought, and leaned forward a little.

"See that dude over there? What do you think he's saying to that poor girl?" you asked.

"He's probably telling her how romantic and chivalrous he is just to get into her pants," he shrugged and you chuckled. "What about that couple? What do you think they're talking about?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm so in love with you!" you said in a slightly high-pitched voice, imitating the girl, "Yeah, baby, me too," you said in a lower voice. "And then they'll move in together, break up and get into an ugly fight over who gets to keep the house," you finished your story and Andy laughed.

The conversation continued to flow, both of you making fun of some other people, but now it seemed you were both in a competition. It started with you leaning forward to bring your cleavage into view, but he caught on quickly, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top button, his Adam's apple bobbing and god did that make you wanna suck on his neck.

You made the next move, crossing your legs in a way that you knew would make your dress ride up a little, exposing more skin. Andy visibly swallowed but you continued talking like you didn't notice. He rolled up his sleeves, and at this point, it was clear you both knew what you were doing. You were already hot and bothered, and he didn't even touch you yet, not even in the most innocent way.

"Well," Andy looked at his phone, "I think we're clear, Duffy must've gone home by now. Come on, let's go."

You got up and so did Andy, grabbing his jacket from the back of his chair.

When you went outside it was surprisingly cold. You shivered a bit and Andy noticed it from the corner of his eye, dropping his jacket over your shoulder. You smiled at him in thanks.

The drive was mostly filled with silence, besides you giving him directions to your house. It seemed you were both immersed in your own thoughts, but it was a comfortable silence. Your gaze fluttered on him once more. You noticed his hands on the steering wheel, more specifically the ring-shaped tan. Well, if he didn't wanna talk about it that's his prerogative.

"Here, you can pull over right there," you pointed to an empty parking spot across from your building.

"Do you want to come up and have a coffee? I gotta thank you for the ride home somehow," you smiled.

"Sure," he said and turned off the car, going out. You gave him his jacket back as you both entered the building.

The tension in the elevator could be cut with a knife. It seemed that once you were finally alone, your thoughts were running wild.

You finally reached your apartment, opening the door and showing Andy in. You turned to lock the apartment door behind you. "If you want you can leave your jacket—"

You turned back around and suddenly his lips were on yours, pushing hungrily. You felt his tongue licking slightly against your lips, seeking entrance you granted gladly, your tongue battling with his as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His hands wandered down your body, grabbing your ass and squeezing it lightly as you moaned into his mouth. He moved his hands to your hips lifting you up, and you wrapped your legs around his waist as you started to unbutton his shirt.

"Second door on the left," you parted your lips just long enough to rasp that out and then returned to feverishly kissing him once more.

He made his way to the bedroom, carrying you in his arms with little effort. He pushed you against the bedroom door and you reached to open it and then pushed his now unbuttoned shirt down from his shoulders. He groaned and put you down to finish getting rid of his shirt, while you quickly pushed your dress over your head, leaving you in your underwear.

Andy's breath hitched at the sight before his lips were back on you again, nipping at your collarbone, your jaw, your neck, while you reached to get rid of his belt, unzipping his pants. He stepped out of them and you started walking back towards the bed, a tangled mess of hands and lips colliding.

Once you were on the bed he reached to unclasp your bra, throwing it to the side and attaching his lips to your breast, swirling his tongue around your hardened nipple. You arched your chest against his mouth, nails gently scraping on his back as you clung to him. Almost without you noticing his hand trailed down to take off your underwear, fingers expertly teasing your clit as you ground against him, silently asking for more. He put two fingers inside you, the wet sound echoing in the room, and you would almost be embarrassed if it didn't feel so damn good.

Your lips found his neck, fulfilling your earlier wish and sucking on it, leaving a bite. You started palming him through his boxers, reaching a hand inside to stroke his length as he groaned into your neck. He pulled his finger out of you and before you managed to whimper at the loss, he captured your lips in his, devouring your mouth as he discarded his boxers.

You parted from him and reached into your bedside drawer to pull out a condom. He quickly slid it on and wasted no time pushing into you, bottoming out in one thrust. You gasped at the stretch, which quickly dissipated once he started moving, snapping his hips onto yours and making you cry out in pleasure.

You clenched around him, the coil in your stomach tightening, and his thrusts started becoming erratic as he brought his fingers to your clit once more, flicking it harshly until came around him with a scream of pleasure, milking him through his orgasm as well.

He stayed inside you, the both of you panting until he finally pulled out and went to throw the condom. You were too fucked out to whimper at the loss, only closing your eyes until you felt the bed dip beside you. Andy laid down beside you, tentatively wrapping an arm around you, to which you said nothing, only cuddled a bit into him.

The next morning you woke up to the smell of fresh coffee filling your senses. You were puzzled until you saw the discarded clothes and remembered the events of last night. Sighing in content, you got up, putting on a new pair of underwear and picking up Andy's shirt, leaving the few top buttons open as you made your way to the kitchen.

Andy was leaning against the countertop, shirtless with only his pants on, sipping a cup of coffee and scrolling on his phone, and didn't notice your soft footsteps.

"Good morning," you said softly, drawing his attention towards you. "Glad to see you've made yourself at home," you chuckled and came closer to him.

"Sorry," he said, averting his gaze, "I just really needed that coffee before the drive home. But there's more if you want some."

You thanked him and poured yourself a cup of coffee.

"So…" he started.

"So?" you smiled.

"I had a great time last night. The whole evening," he added quickly. "So… let me take you out sometime. On a date. Please," he smiled.

"I'd love that," you smiled at him.

You exchanged numbers and the rest of your breakfast went on uneventfully, until Andy had to go. "Can I have my shirt back?" he asked, grinning.

"Oh, I don't know," you said, pretending to contemplate it, "I'm pretty sure you look better without it."

You both laughed. You went to your room to change and gave him back the shirt.

"Have a nice drive home," you said. And then, in a surge of confidence, you kissed him, pushing your lips against his with passion. "One for the road," you smirked.

Andy smirked back, no doubt on board with your antics. "I'll call you," he said and opened the door, going into the hall.

"You better!" you called after him, a smile on your face as you watched him go into the elevator and out of sight.

You closed the door and leaned on it, lost in your thoughts like a schoolgirl in love, and then you realized – shit.

You had actually met a cute guy at a singles mixer. Your friends were never gonna let you live that down. Oh well, you thought, he seems like he's worth it.

hope you enjoyed!! whoosh i love andy barber so much ok bye

Chris Taglist: @swatson06 @horny-nd-bored @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds @phoebe-21-99 @wintersoldierslut @iceebabies @wanessalopesueiros @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree @kaitcordx25 @bequeening @steve-barry-damon-logan @itscrazycherryblossomcollection @hollandxmarvel @darkwitchfromthesouth

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gimmeyoon · 5 years

Text

Say My Name

↳ Pairing: Seokjin x Reader | Mentions of Hoseok x Reader

↳ Setting: Beetlejuice AU

↳ Word Count: 6.4k

↳ Warnings: death, dirty talk, degradation, exhibition kink, lingerie kink, oral (f & m), unprotected sex (but it’s ghost sex and ghost’s don’t have little ghost babies or stds, unlike you, you alive human. It’s a present, wrap it).

❝So, you died. You’ve come to terms with it; watching over your boyfriend as you’re stuck haunting the apartment you used to live in. But now, he’s bringing new girls around, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t scare them off and you can’t leave. Time to call the ghost with the most for a little bio-exorcism, baby.❞

Alternatively: ❝ You, your “no respect for the dead” boyfriend, and the ghost with the most: a hauntingly good time.❞

↳ A/N: This beautiful header would not be possible without the goddess @/kinktae. My version was so ugly, on god. (Also clearly I made it before I was gimmeyoon and Idk where the original is so I’ll just suffer)

Also yes, this is a Halloween fic two days after Halloween let’s pretend this never happened and this was posted when it should have been uwu

You're dead.

It's not as strange or as extravagant as some people might think. It's mostly spending every second of your day in your apartment. An introvert's dream.

You're pretty sure every college student has joked about being hit by a campus bus to either get out of your finals, have your tuition paid, or whatever other inconvenience one could imagine poor driving and forgetting to look both ways could help remedy.

Except it didn't really fix anything, and you weren't asking for it. It just happened and you died.

It wasn't worth it.

But you’re dead now, and that’s just life, or you guess death.

Pros of being dead: you know thanks to your haunting situation, that your boyfriend Hoseok got all ‘As’ for the first-time last semester.

The haunting situation is something you hadn't expected. You're not sure you would call yourself a skeptic, but you certainly didn't imagine people were tied to their homes for decades with no where else to go. You suppose it's nice that you get to watch over Hoseok, but it's not like he'll be here forever.

He was so sad at first, it broke your heart. But he’s healing, and every day you try to leave him little promises that you’re still there like spraying your perfume in your room so that he smells you when he wakes up in the morning or by helping him keep the place clean. He hasn’t noticed really any of it, which you think is strange, since he must realize he doesn’t clean enough for the place to look like this.

That’s your life now, literally Hoseok’s maid. There’s nothing else you can do. You tried leaving the apartment once, and you were met with a creature you’ve never seen before and hope to never see again. It was otherworldly, that's all you can really say to describe it. You suppose you are too now.

You’re not sure if you can die again, probably not, but if you could, that thing would be the cause.

Hoseok turns off the light in the hallway as he walks back into your bedroom. He always looked so cute when he was sleepy; his hair ruffled and a small smile on his face. He crawls into his side of the bed, something that makes your heart fond. He still leaves space for you.

You lay down beside him, as you do every night. You turn to look at him, and for a moment it seems like he’s looking back at you. But he’s not. He never is.

And as he closes his eyes, you place a kiss to his forehead that has him swatting as if there is a bug when you pull away.

“Good night, Hoseok,” you said. “I love you.”

You remember what it was like when he used to say it back. It made you feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

One single pound against the door to your apartment has you jumping out of your skin. You remind yourself that you're dead as you pick up the heaviest object closest to you. It doesn't make your heart beat any slower.

You slowly make your way towards the door, as you hear it unlocking, and when it swings open, Hoseok appears oh.

You sigh in relief as you set the book you had grabbed down; not so sure it would have protected you anyways. Also, not so sure you needed protecting. So far, all the secrets to being dead were in a very dense book that you kept hidden from Hoseok in a box of your things that he had put in the back of your closet.

“Oh, Hoseok,” you said, a light laugh falling from your lips. “I was so worried.”

And then you see her. And before you can truly process what is happening, the thud happens again as he pushes her against the closed-again door.

“Oh my god,” you breathe as a hand comes up to cover your eyes. “This is not happening.”

You repeat this as you walk away from the entrance of the apartment to the kitchen. You consider looking for a knife, figuring a floating weapon would probably send the message you were looking to communicate, but a pull in your heart told you otherwise.

Hoseok deserved to be happy. He deserved to move on, even though you were pretty sure the mourning period for dead-too-soon girlfriend and supposed love of your life was not over yet. Regardless, Hoseok deserved to be happy.

You almost convince yourself that.

But god damn it, you deserve to be happy too.

Whatever Hoseok is doing, has that girl moaning obnoxiously loud, and if you have to hear that all night, you’ll go back to that creature in that wasteland and perish. It would probably be less painful than this. There's no way it could be worse.

You hear the bedroom door click shut, and your body relaxes a little. You didn’t realize how tense you were until now. You move out in the living room, laying your head on one decorative pillow and pressing another over your exposed ear. If you’re lucky, it’ll be over quickly, and you can pretend this never happened.

The TV turns on in front of you and you curse assuming you’ve laid down on the remote, but then you see it on the table.

You sit up quickly, your eyes glued to the advertisement before you.

"Do you have a human infestation that's making the afterlife, hell?" A man asks. He's sitting at a desk like he's a lawyer in one of those personal injury commercials, except you've never seen a lawyer with green hair like him. Regardless, you suppose it makes sense considering your heart has been seriously injured tonight.

"Do you just want to spend your after-days in peace just as you were promised on Earth, but the living keep getting in the way? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then I'm the man to call. The world's leading bio-exorcist, I'll make sure those that are ruining your retirement from life get what they deserve. Just say my name three time."

"Bio-exorcist?" you repeated, the word even feeling fake in your mouth. There was no way that was real.

"New family move into your home? Landlord trying to remodel? Boyfriend sleeping around?" He seemed to lean forward and meet your eyes as he said that, as if he not only knew that was your exact situation but could also see you.

It's enough to have you grabbing the remote quickly and turning the TV off. You take a few moments to calm down before lying back on the couch and closing your eyes.

Of all the weird things about being dead, that might just be the weirdest.

She left early the next morning and instead of your usual kind ways of reminding Hoseok you were still around, you settled on minor inconveniences.

When he was watching basketball later that day, you kept changing the channel. When he made Ramen for dinner, you made it cold before he could even take his first bite. When he went to bed that night, you kept dropping things, so that he got too nervous to sleep.

It was the only way you were able to say, 'I'm here, motherfucker, cut it out.'

You were lucky your boyfriend was a scaredy. It wasn’t difficult to scare him.

But as before, he doesn't think too much of it. Hoseok was easy to scare but a skeptic apparently. You considered cutting his hair in his sleep, how else would he explain that, but as you brushed his light brown hair away from his forehead. You couldn't bring yourself to do it.

He had grown it out a little since you'd died, and you liked how it looked. You had been worried it was because he was too sad to go to the barber. You weren't 100% sure that wasn't the case, but he took care of it, and it was the first time in a while he had styled his hair with his forehead showing.

It was nice but you sometimes wished you could just tell him you liked it. If only he could know that you thought he looked good that way.

He has another girl over the next weekend and you consider cutting his hair anyways.

The worst part is you mumble a thank you when you realize she's quieter than the last girl. You hate yourself for even thinking that. You hate that there's a situation where you would.

You’re in the living room again, reading your guide to being dead, when the newspaper falls from the table. You flinch at the movement, and for a moment wonder if there's a ghost in this apartment.

The next moment you're laughing lightly because of course there is.

You pick it up, still laughing to yourself, when something catches your eye. It's opened to an ad, and it's the same man from the TV ad a week ago. He's definitely the same man, green hair slicked back and strikingly handsome, but this time he wears a black and white striped suit. The ad reads the same as the commercial the other day, he's the world's best bio-exorcist and he can get rid of your human infestation. His name is written in big letters behind his smiling face, 'Beetlejuice.'

You're a little offended that he would refer to Hoseok as an infestation.

Another weekend later it's another girl. You're beginning to think it's all too much.

According to the book you’re stuck here for the next 125 years, and you’re not really in the mood to listen to Hoseok fuck whoever he pleases for the rest of his lease. God forbid he re-up it and stays another year.

If there is a god. You're not so sure even though you suppose you're the leading expert on this now. Is this Hell? It couldn't be heaven. There was never any briefing on the whole god thing when you died. Maybe it's in that god-forsaken book. God-forsaken, that's how you feel.

You say it without thinking the first time, just considering your options. “Beetlejuice.”

The second time you say it you get a little thrill at the thought of that girl running out of the apartment terrified. “Beetlejuice.”

The third time you hesitate for a moment. Hoseok does deserve to be happy. But then he moans, and you think he should rot. “Beetlejuice!”

He appears before you in a flash of light, that as you falling back in shock onto the couch. You're not sure what you thought incantation would do, He’s not what you expected, much more casual than his lawyer-like commercials, wearing an oversized hoodie, skinny jeans, and sneakers. He would fit in on your college campus well, especially with his green hair.

“Beetlejuice?” you ask, gaping up at him.

“You rang?” he smiled. “God, nothing gets me off quite like a beautiful woman who can’t stop saying my name. Feel free to call me Seokjin from now on. I’d say we’re friends at this point, I mean look at us, who would have thought?”

You sit there in silence just staring at him and letting the situation sink in. He came out of no where and said that.

“Oh good, I called a pervert into my apartment.”

“I believe you called the world’s leading bio-exorcist," he said, rolling his eyes.

“Why does it sound like you’re the world’s only bio-exorcist.”

He laughed at this throwing an arm over your shoulder. "You know, I get that a lot?"

"You certainly don’t look like the world’s leading anything."

“What not dressed for the job?” he frowned as he shook his head. Suddenly he snapped his fingers and he was wearing the black and white striped suit from the print ad. “What about now?”

“Great,” you deadpanned.

"Now, what seems to be the matter at hand?"

As if on cue, Hoseok moans from the bedroom.

"Got some noisy house guests?" he asked, a smirk on his face.

"My boyfriend has no respect for the dead," you replied, staring intensely at the bedroom door.

"Oh, love," he said. "what's it good for besides heart break?"

You didn't answer him, your attention captured by the activities in the other room. It almost physically hurt, as if the sound could slap you across the face.

"Listen, kid," he said, snapping his fingers and bringing your attention back to him. "I can help you fix this problem, but I'm going to need something else in return."

"What do you need?" you asked, a bit skeptically. His ads never said anything about that and you sort of doubted that it was going to be a fair price. Maybe it was the suit that made you suspicious, the green hair, or maybe it was his general aura. It was probably all three together.

"I'm what some might call, on the run," he said. "I was cursed into this horrible, dead end job, seriously no areas for advancement, just serving the dead for the rest of my life, and I couldn't take it anymore. So I left, but that made me a wanted man. If you want me to scratch your back, even though it is a wonderful back," he said, his eyes drifting to your ass and staying there for longer than you would like, "then I'll need you to scratch mine."

"Sounds horrifying," you said, glaring at him.

"Don't knock it until you try it, kid."

"What do you need from me," you said, curtly.

"To break the curse, I need to marry a living person. We'll get your boy out of here, get someone new to move in, you be my wing woman and then bada bing bada boom we've got a broken curse and human infestation taken care of."

"What person in their right mind would marry a ghost?"

Seokjin winks at you. "The ghost with the most baby, any guy or gal would be so lucky."

“What’s he afraid of?” Seokjin asks later as the two of you stand over Hoseok as he sleeps.

“Everything,” you replied.

“Everything? Then why do you need my help?”

“He’s not paying attention to anything I do I guess.”

“Common problem in relationships. The chick just talk talk talks and the guy never listens.”

“You’re an ass, you know that?”

“An ass with a great ass,” he responds, turning his butt towards you and pulling your hand towards him.

“Rot,” you respond, as you tear your hand from him before it touches it.

“Somewhere I am, or I guess I probably already have.”

“Yeah? How long have you been dead?”

“700 years?” he says, looking off into the distance.

“Jesus,” you said, shaking your head, eyes wide at the thought.

“No, Seokjin. Jesus died nearly 2,000 years ago.”

“Thanks for the history lesson, Beetlejuice.”

“Stop,” he warned, his face growing dark and serious. “Call me Beetlejuice again, and I’ll eat your boyfriend.”

“Can you eat him?” you asked warily, moving in between Hoseok and Seokjin.

“Sure,” he said with a shrug. “Who’s going stop me?”

“The laws of physics.”

“If you can touch him you can eat him,” Seokjin said, placing a hand on Hoseok’s face, causing the latter to stir in his sleep.

“Put that on a t-shirt.”

“Done,” Seokjin said, snapping his fingers.

You looked down to find a black t-shirt now adorning your body with the aforementioned phrase across from it.

“You’re right, you shouldn’t be a civil servant. You should be in the t-shirt game,” you said before turning to walk to the kitchen.

"Bio-exorcist by day," he said, his hands accenting his words dramatically as he followed you, "t-shirt entrepreneur by night," he seemed to consider it for a moment. "I like the way you think, kid."

Seokjin pauses for a moment, just looking back at you as if he is trying to get a better sense of you.

"If he’s scared of everything," Seokjin said. "Then this should be easy, but personally I think we should have fun with it. I mean, if I’m not scaring I’m not caring, you know?”

"I know you're the expert," you said, raising your eyebrows in scrutiny. "but I don’t want to scare him too much. I mean I love him."

"Listen babe, this isn’t about love it’s about respect and he’s not giving you that, Aretha Franklin style."

"Please don’t sing."

Of course he does his rendition of the song, accompanied by some minor choreography that makes you wonder if he’s done this before. He's actually a good singer though his future as a choreographer isn't looking good. It’s a little too on-the-nose dance wise.

"What is your plan?" you asked cutting him off in the second verse of the song.

"Well the way I see it we have a few options. Personally this wouldn't be the first time I turn into a gigantic snake and I’m guessing he’s afraid of snakes."

"You’re right about the snakes," you said hopping up to sit on the counter, "and that’s exactly why I can’t let you turn into a gigantic one."

"What’s the fun in that?" he asked. "Do you want him to leave this apartment and stop fucking random women in front of you or did you just call me for a good time? Frankly it’s not a good time without my gigantic snake," he said winking at the end which caused you to roll your eyes and scoff.

You stared back at him unamused. "Think of something less scary but still scary enough to have him move out."

"Toots, you’re putting me in a difficult situation," he said leaning back against the counter. "Just leave it the expert."

"If you’re an expert you should be able to come up with a different plan."

He smiled at this, though his gaze looked angry. "You drive a hard bargain," he said, laughing with little humor. "How do you feel about light possession?"

"I don’t even know what that means," you said, your eyes wide. "How can you lightly possess someone?"

"When you’re as good as me, you can do just about anything."

"Sounds fake," you said, hopping down from the counter and moving back into the living room. "lets rule out any type of possession."

"You’re really grabbing me by the balls and not in the way I like," he said following you into the living room and flopping down on the couch.

"Does it look like I care what you like?"

"Hey you’re the one who called me?" he said, looking at you accusatorially.

"No one ever said I always make good decisions," you said, looking for the newspaper that had his ad in it. "How can I send you back?"

"Hey let’s not act rationally," he said jumping up from the couch and walking quickly to you.

"Don’t you mean rashly?" you asked, looking up at him for only a moment before looking for the paper again.

"I said what I said and I meant it."

"Come up with a good plan now," you said, giving up on finding the paper. "Or I’ll figure out how to send you back."

"Fine, you’re really pulling my arm but what about this? I’m thinking classic haunting," he said, setting the stage with his movements. "I’m talking blood dripping down the walls, things falling off shelves, 'redrum' written on the mirror and the works. He’ll be running quicker than you can say 'boo.'"

"I like that plan because it seems to include no potential physical harm."

"I thought you might," he smirked.

"So when do we do it," you asked.

"Once he’s alone with nothing to distract him or try and explain it away."

That time comes the next afternoon as you and Seokjin stand behind Hoseok as he sat on the couch. You and Seokjin's arms brush against each other and you immediately push him away. Seokjin looks over at you with minor annoyance on his face.

"This is pretty lame, so if anyone asks, I was not a part of this," he said.

"Don’t worry," you said. "I don’t think all I ever see anyone as I'm dead now but even if I did, you don't have to worry. I wouldn’t want to be associated with you."

"Promise?" he asked, batting his eyelashes as if you had just said the nicest thing.

"Swear on my death."

Seokjin nods his head, before turning to look down at Hoseok. "Now," he said, before disappearing before your very eyes.

It even sends a chill up your spine, so you almost feel bad for what all of this is going to do to Hoseok. You pull the lipstick out of your pocket. You had grabbed it earlier from the box of your things in the back of the closet. A small part of you wished he would recognize the color and realize you were here with him. A larger part of you knew that would never happen.

You walk to the mirror at the entrance of the apartment and write 'redrum' in the scariest font you can manage with the lipstick.

You feel something drip on you as your writing and look up to find Seokjin has already started the blood effect wherever he's gone off to.

You make your way to the TV, rubbing the blood on your jeans as you move, and for a moment just stand in between Hoseok and the device. You think of the few times you've done it before, where Hoseok has whined and asked you to move out of the way so he could keep watching the game or whatever it was that was on.

Now he looks right through you. He has no idea you're even there. It still stings as much as it first did. You turn away from him to write on the TV screen. You touch the lipstick to the screen just as Hoseok cures behind you.

"What the fuck?" he said, standing up from the couch and moving to the entry way of the apartment.

You almost feel giddy as he looks up at the blood staining the walls.

"I can't fucking believe it," he said, shaking his head. "This fucking landlord."

Hoseok ran his hands over his face in exasperation before pulling his phone out and taking some pictures of the blood, not even seeming to notice the writing on the mirror. Just then Seokjin pushed all of his textbooks off of the table, but Hoseok didn't even flinch.

"Hey," Hoseok said his phone to his ear. "Yeah, the pipes burst again, and I really need you to fix it this time," he huffed at whatever was said on the other line. "No, I know you said you fixed, but I'm telling you there's shit coming down my walls again."

"If that's what his shit looks like," Seokjin said as he reappeared beside you, causing you to gasp and flinch in shock, "then he seriously has a problem and needs to get it checked out."

"I don't understand," you said, motioning to Hoseok grabbing his jacket and heading out of the apartment. "He didn't even see the word on the mirror. I mean this is the shit that has people running out of the building in terror in movies." "The living have no respect for the dead," Seokjin shrugged. "Not to mention your plan sucked."

"This was your plan," you reminded him.

"I told you it wasn’t enough."

"You are the worst," you yelled as you made your way to the bedroom. "I swear to god, you have been nothing but a headache since you got here. You're not the world's leading bio-exorcist your the world's leading pain in the ass."

"Oh I'd love to be a pain in you ass," he said following behind you. "Say the word, and I'll lube up."

"If you weren't already dead I would murder you."

"The feeling is mutual," he said, stepping closer to you. "Do you know what I think?"

"I don't care whatever it is."

"I think you don't actually want your boy to leave," he stepped closer again, causing you to step back. "I think you want him to finally notice you. You want him to realize you're here and stop fucking those other girls."

"Wow, did you get a PhD in stating the obvious? Of course I want the man I love to realize I’m still here. I love him, you asshole."

"Then why did you call a bio-exorcist?" he asked, backing you into the wall. "You're wasting my time."

"Because nothing I do makes him notice me," you said, fighting the urge to spit in his face.

"I don't think you're trying hard enough," he said, just as the door to the apartment opened again. "Why don't I help you?" he said, leaning in so that his face was mere centimeters from yours. "Have you tried some good old-fashioned ghost moaning?"

Your breath catches in your throat as whatever insult you had prepared dies on your tongue. You loathe Seokjin, but the idea of getting back at Hoseok has you contemplating his suggestion.

"Hm," Seokjin mused as you didn't respond. "Ghost got your tongue?"

"Shut up, and put it to good use," you said, leaning in the rest of the way and pulling him into a hungry kiss.

Seokjin kisses down the length of your body, working quickly on your pants as soon as he reaches the waist band. You step out of your pants and despite his previous pace, he stops to look at your underwear, a frown on his face. He looks up at you slowly.

"I'm going to need to fix that," he said, before snapping his fingers.

"If you gave me a dick, I'll actually feed you to the snake thing I ran into the other day," you said hurriedly as you looked down.

Seokjin laughed loudly as he pulled on your arm to move you to the bed. He had replaced your underwear, switching out the cotton panties for a strappy red lace number, that you would never consider buying.

"You like lingerie," you said under your breath, lying down and looking up at the ceiling as your racing heart calmed down.

"Where'd you go?" he asked, crawling back on top of you.

"I'm having ghost sex," you said, laughing a little bit at the end.

"Great ghost sex," he winked, before helping you take your shirt off as well. He replaced your bra as well, the crimson matching set striking compared to what you normally wore.

"Beautiful," he mumbled, kissing your breast over the bra, before looking at you with a devilish grin. "How long until Hoseok comes into the bedroom?"

"We'll find out sooner or later," you mumbled as he kissed the band of your panties.

"Do you think it'll be before the first time you cum?" he asked, kissing your clit through the panties. "Or do you think it'll be before the second time?"

"Definitely before the third," you said, causing Seokjin to laugh.

"Greedy slut," he said, before sucking at your clit, the barrier of the panties causing you to whine for more.

"Pervert," you breathed as he gripped tightly to his hips. "You'd love to watch me get off three times."

"You know," he said, his finger sliding under the band of you underwear. "You really annoy me."

"The feeling is mutual," you said, lightly pushing his head back towards your core. "Scratch my back and I'll scratch your's."

"You drive a hard bargain," he winked before pulling the lingerie off of your body. He sat it down beside you instead of throwing it on the ground and you considered teasing the delicate way he treated it, but just as you formulated your remark, he liked a strip up your cunt, having you sigh in satisfaction.

You're not surprised that he teases you, giving your clit the attention it wants, only to take it away again, laughing lightly against you. He takes pleasure in your moans, his hands gripping more tightly at your hips every time you get lost in the pleasure. It seems to ground you in the moment.

You're close to reaching your high when you hear the door open and look over to see Hoseok entering the room.

Seokjin stops his movements and looks up, causing you to whine lightly.

"Before the first time," he shrugged, before looking at you with a smirk. "Louder," he said before burying his head between your legs again.

He harshly sucked your clit into his mouth, and you didn't hold back the moan that started in the pit of you chest. Hoseok is unaware of your presence, but your knowledge of his has each movement of Seokjin's tongue feeling better and better.

You never knew you would like this, but as you think about every girl you heard in this room you feel desire grow in the pit of your stomach. Your reaching your peak quickly, your hands winding into Seokjin's hair as you cum hard on his tongue.

You're panting when Seokjin comes back up a smirk on his face. "Scratch mine," he said, pulling his shirt over his head.

You roll your eyes in response, but your hands come up to undo his belt. The two of you work to rid him of his jeans and you can only scoff in response when Seokjin props himself up against the headboard of the bed, his arms crossed behind his head.

"Can you make him see us?" you whispered, a bit embarrassed by the question.

Seokjin looked over at Hoseok and shrugged. "Maybe. If I turned into a cyclops he would probably notice us, but he could see us right now if he paid attention to the strange and unusual."

"Yes, that's exactly how I'd describe fucking you." "Less talk," he said, his eyes narrowing.

"Mhm," you hummed as you ran your hands up his thighs. You kiss his cock lightly over his boxer briefs, before hooking your fingers into the band and pulling them down. You must gape slightly at the size of his dick, because Seokjin laughs lightly. When you look up at him he seems pretty proud of himself.

"I said it was a gigantic snake."

"Choke," you said, rolling your eyes.

"Say please, and I will," he winked, looking down at your throat.

You rolled your eyes, as you took his cock in your hand, to which Seokjin took a sharp breath.

"Interesting," you said, looking up at him with a wink. "It looks like you're the one who should be saying please." "Listen, babe, I'm not about begging."

You chuckled lightly, before licking up the length of his cock. You took the tip into your mouth, sucking lightly, and then taking him in deeper.

Seokjin moans loudly and you wonder partly if you're actually doing that good of a job or if he's trying to catch Hoseok's attention.You can't watch your boyfriend from this angle, so instead you imagine what he's doing. The thought that he could be standing shocked behind you, too caught off guard to do anything but watch has your pussy clenching around nothing and desire building in your core again.

"Fuck," Seokjin said. "Swallow."

And you do, swallowing around him before he comes and after, pulling your mouth off of him as he smiles with his eyes closed.

"Watch this," he said, looking back at you and winking, before he snapped his fingers. He's hard again instantly, which is a little unsettling and the grimace on your face must communicate as such.

"I never thought it was fair girls could just cum again if they wanted to."

"Really?" you said, as he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him so you were straddling his lap. "I never thought it was fair guys came practically every time we had sex and I was lucky to come 1/4 of the time."

"Very unfair," Seokjin said, nodding his head. "I've always recognized the power of the female orgasm." "Why don't I believe you?"

"Because you're horribly mean to me."

"Poor baby," you said, lining yourself up above his cock. "The girl that just sucked your dick makes fun of you."

"I liked it better when you had a dick in your mouth and couldn't talk."

"I liked it better when you were too fucked out to say something gross." "Then let's get to it," he said, his hands gripping at your ass as you sank down on him.

The stretch has you moaning, and despite your abhorrence that he was right, Seokjin does have a big dick and the way it fills you is delicious. He gives you a moment to adjust before his hands are helping you ride him, his mouth moving to suck at your neck.

When he pulls away he doesn't look at you, but behind you.

"You want him to see? Be too loud for him to ignore," he said, looking back at you. "Show him how mad he made you. Show him what he's missing. Show him two people can play his game."

You moan in response, turning your body to see Hoseok. He's sitting at his desk, likely doing school work, none the wiser that two dead people are fucking in his bed. He briefly turns towards the bed, his eyes seeming to fall on your body just as Seokjin moves again to suck at the other side of your neck.

"Maybe if he sees us we can both fuck you," Seokjin said before biting at your ear. "Would you like that?"

"Seokjin,” you moan.

“You want to remind him how good you take dick.”

“Seokjin,” you moan just as he thrusts deeper into you. “Seokjin.”

"You act like a prude," Seokjin said, moaning as he thrusts up into you. "But you're really a slut aren't you? You'd do anything to get back at him."

"Yes," you moaned, turning back to Seokjin. "Fuck me so good he can't ignore us," you said.

"What do you think I've been trying to do," Seokjin grunted, thrusting up into you again.

You're reaching your high a few thrusts later, moaning louder than you ever have as Seokjin cums inside of you at the same time.

The two of you are panting, lying chest to chest on the bed as you ground yourself back in reality. When you roll off of him you look over to see Hoseok still studying.

You feel better knowing you weren't powerless in this situation, that you too could move on, but something in you wishes he had opened his eyes and seen it. Some untapped kink you didn't even know existed until Seokjin came into your death.

The new plan might involve some physical injury. You've made Seokjin promise that he wouldn't, but frankly everything about Seokjin materializing as the girl from The Grudge sounds like someone's getting hurt, and probably not Seokjin. Hoseok is dancing through the hallway to the kitchen when Seokjin appears at the end of it. Or rather, the little nightmare girl he's pretending to be.

Hoseok doesn't notice at first, he's looking down at his feet as follows the melody of the song, but when he finally looks up, all of the color drains from his face and he stops in his tracks.

He blinks his eyes rapidly, as if he has something in his eyes rather than the physical embodiment of evil being a few feet from him, but soon his body catches up with his mind and he's running from the house.

He screams as he runs and you flinch when he almost trips over one of his shoes, that you have the sneaking suspicion Seokjin placed in his way.

He doesn't come back, or at least not alone. Yoongi and Namjoon, his friends from school, come back with him to help him get his stuff and move out. A couple of times Yoongi teases Hoseok for being afraid of this place, because it's the least haunted apartment he's ever been in. Namjoon scolds him and points to the box in the back of the closet with your name on it.

You've already gone through it and taken out anything you want to keep yourself. It was mostly just a few pictures of the two of you and your favorite lipstick that you never put back. You hid them in the couch cushions and hoped that they didn't check for lose change or anything.

A few months pass and no one moves in. Seokjin thinks rumors probably spread after Hoseok ran from the place screaming so no one wants to move in.

You figure he's right, because you certainly wouldn't want to.

It's strange how the two of you start to move and live comfortably around each other, though it is unfair that Seokjin can leave. He usually spends all day with the living and comes back to tell you something interesting he learned.

You feel even more like a housewife than you did with Hoseok. At least now you get to hear about your hard-working "husbands" day.

It’s half a year later when someone finally comes to tour the apartment. You and Seokjin are making out on the bed when you hear the landlord enter and soon Seokjin is tearing his lips from your breast and looking in the direction of the entrance.

"Finger's crossed they can see dead people," he said winking at you.

"Apartment tour and a show," you laughed, pushing him off of you.

The two of you make your way to the living room to see who would be so lucky to call Seokjin their future husband potentially. You almost fall on the floor with laughter as she comes into view.

Standing in he living room with your ex-landlord is a woman who must be nearly 80 years old.

“What?" Seokjin asks, over your laughter.

“I don’t know how much longer your future bride will be living.

“How horrible of you? Where are your manners? That is my wife!”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you said, waving your hand at him. "I don't mean to be ageist, I just know your little pervert brain did not have this in mind."

"Please don't call me a pervert in front of my wife," he said, pushing you to the side. "I think you're just jealous?"

"Of who?" you asked, laughing harder. "You? Or the woman you're going to try and convince to marry a dead man?"

"If you want to marry me, just say so," he smirked.

"Not even if you were the last dead man in this apartment."

#seokjin smut #bts smut #sekojin x reader #jin smut #jin fanfic #seokjin fanfic #bts writing #magicshopnet

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detectivejigsawpines · 4 years

Text

The Most Hideous Creatures Known to Man, part 1 (A three-hour tour)

Stan continues to find his calling. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with his methods...

Part 5 of the Flipside AU.

It was only a matter of time before Stan’s clientele in the forest (he’d set up in a glen near C-beth’s place as his unofficial barber shop) began expressing curiosity about the human world.

For all the myths and legends about the amount of time they were supposed to spend kidnapping children, seducing adults, casting spells on farmers’ crops and so on, the creatures in Gravity Falls had surprisingly little direct interaction with humans. Even the gnomes were mostly limited to stealing food from their cupboards or window sills while they were sleeping, except when they were trying to find an offering for their queen (both of the Pineses had made it adequately clear to the little group they found sneaking into their Ford’s house one night that they were not available, thank you anyway).

Stan wasn’t sure if this ignorance was the case for anomalies all over the world or just the ones in this tiny part of it. But as he cut their hair, cleaned and polished their scales and massaged their shoulders, they began peppering him with questions about what it was like for human people.

“How do you get anywhere without wings?”

“What’s it like not having gills?”

“Where do the magic lights in your houses come from? Do you have a wizard who controls all of them? You have a lot of them, so he must be ever so powerful.”

“What is the significance of those strange boxes humans hold up to their ears sometimes? They can stand and talk to them for hours-are they some kind of listening insects, since they have those long antennae attaching them to the bigger boxes?”

He answered their questions as best he could, making educated guesses (or maybe kind-of-sort-of flat-out lying) if he didn’t know the answers...but after a while he realized that it didn’t seem to matter what he told them, as long as he made it sound exciting. The creatures ate it all up in delight, amazed at the way humans seemed to use this strange kind of magic called SCIENCE to make things happen.

And just like with the idea for how to get unicorn hair for his brother, an idea began to spark in Stan’s brain.

“So, let me get this straight,” Stan said one afternoon as he finished putting curlers in a beard cub’s fur, “None of you have actually seen a human up close besides me?”

“And that brother of yours,” C-beth whinnied, looking up from her copy of Whinny, Pray, Trot. “And the occasional visitor to my glen, or hikers, or-”

“No no no, I mean, you’ve never seen humans in their natural habitat.”

The little group-unicorns, fairies, beard cubs, even a mermaid sitting in the nearby pool-all looked at him in sudden interest.

Stan grinned. “What would you say if I offered to give you guys a guided tour?”

Of course, not all the creatures could afford to pay in gold and jewels, like the unicorns. Those who couldn’t had to pay in other things, like samples: skin samples, hair samples, feather samples, tooth samples, any kind of samples they could spare. Stan would bring them home for Ford to study, and he’d get dizzy with excitement over how he’d “been wanting to study this thing for ages, thank you Stanley!” and immediately run off to his lab to put it under a microscope or whatever. It gave Stan a warm feeling in his gut, knowing that he’d given a valuable contribution to his brother’s research, and in the meantime he could use the treasure the unicorns gave him to handle other expenses, like the mortgage and groceries and stuff.

If it wasn’t samples, it was things like mushrooms, which he could then give to the gnomes in exchange for favors, or enchanted items, or whatever else could be used to set up an elaborate and profitable barter system.

It was like nothing Stan had ever imagined for himself, but somehow it all worked like a charm. And now here was a perfect chance to make an addition to it.

If I tell Ford about this, he’s either gonna love it or hate it.

****

For the moment, Stan decided to keep it a secret from his brother. At least until he got all the details worked out and stuff.

This required him first finding a map of Gravity Falls, and marking out places that seemed like the best “attractions.” Then he had to think about how he was actually going to conduct these tours a) without any humans noticing, and b) without letting the group of nosy anomalies wander off and get into trouble, or (in some cases) cause trouble.

It took him the better part of a day to come up with a plan, which turned out to partially involve the, ahem, liberation of a very large golf cart from a nearby Santa’s Village, and a pound of jerky for the manotaurs in exchange for them tracking down the invisible wizard and bringing him to Stan so he could strike a deal with him. To his major disappointment the wizard refused to give up the potion that turned him invisible, but he did lend Stan something that was in some ways even better: a few bottles of what he called “un-notice powder.” I hope I don’t need to explain its purpose.

Once he had these and a few other things thrown together, he was ready to take the first group on a wild tour of...the Human World!

“And on your left, you’ll see ‘Greasy’s Diner,’ home of the perpetually broken spinning pie trolley!”

“Oooohhhh!” The various anomalies leaned so far to the side of the cart that Stan was worried they were going to tip them all over, staring goggle-eyed at the restaurant. To prevent this, Stan hurriedly put the cart in park, and then, remembering what the gnomes were like, he slipped the keys into his jeans pocket.

“Twenty-I mean, two hundred gold pieces or the equivalent in samples to come in and get your picture taken with it!” he proclaimed, rushing over to the door and pushing it open. He promptly had to jump out of the way to avoid being stampeded by the eager crowd.

Inside the diner, the guests looked up in bewilderment at the door, which appeared to have been pushed open by a sudden freak wind. Susan Wentworth, the head waitress who worked there (and who was kinda cute, Stan had to admit), rushed over to close it, and Stan barely moved out of her way in time.

The tour group (ten gnomes, thirteen fairies of various sizes and colors, a Moth Man, the invisible wizard-who’d insisted on coming at a reduced price as recompense for his being manhandled and bullied so rudely, and Stan had decided not to argue with a man who could turn him into a frog if he got mad enough-a manotaur, and the mermaid, who the manotaur was carrying in a portable cooler filled with water) stared agape at the inside of the room, before hurrying over and taking turns being photographed in front of the pie trolley. They also had fun prodding at the humans, swiping bites of food from their plates, and taking pictures of them pretending to squeeze their heads or whatever.

Stan watched the chaos with a smile, and took the opportunity to eat some blueberries off the top of a plate of pancakes belonging to that dumb Gleeful kid.

****

Their next stops were the town hall, the cemetery (where a few Category 2 ghosts tried to sneak on without paying, but were scared off by the silver mirrors Stan had strategically placed on the cart), the library, and the high school, before finally they stopped in front of an electronics store.

“Behold!” Stan leaped out onto the sidewalk, arms spread wide. The dramatic gesture was nearly ruined by a few teenagers who nearly walked right into him (because of course, they didn’t notice him), but he managed to dodge out of their path just in time. “Ladies and gentlemen-I guess that includes most of you-”

The tour group laughed.

“-For today’s final attraction, I give you the most horrifying, dangerous, yet incredibly enticing invention of mankind yet: the Idiot Box!” He gestured at the display of televisions in the front window, which were plugged in to different channels about news, sports, movies, and so on.

The anomalies gasped, staring at the images darting across the screens in transfixed amazement. He could practically see their eyes turning into hypnotized spirals like in the movies.

“These fiendish devices control the minds of millions every day, encouraging them to buy things they don’t need, eat foods that aren’t good for them, and become emotionally invested in the lives of fictional characters who they are never gonna meet in real life!” Stan had no idea where most of his words were coming from, but he was on a roll now, and there was no stopping him. “And all it takes is a little bit of electricity and a good channel-”

“I WANT ONE!”

Stan blinked, startled out of his spiel by the manotaur’s roar.

The beast abruptly hurled himself out of the cart and charged-right. Through. The window. He smashed several of the televisions in his excitement, but he managed to snatch one up intact, ripping the plug out of the socket and hoisting it over his head triumphantly.

Not even un-notice powder was enough to prevent the people inside the store from noticing the wanton destruction.

Time to go.

****

Fortunately, Stan managed to herd everyone (several of the other creatures had rushed into the store to snatch devices for themselves in all the excitement) back into the cart and take off before the cops showed up. Even better, the un-notice powder didn’t completely wear off until they were back in the forest, so even if the townsfolk noticed them fleeing the scene, it wouldn’t have been anything too distinct. Probably.

Stan gladly accepted a few extra tips from the happy group as they left the carts, hurrying off into the forest and chattering excitedly to each other about all the things they’d seen.

“See ya later, everyone! Tell your friends! And remember, we put the ‘fun’ in ‘no refunds!’”

Huh; I like the sound of that. Gonna haveta remember it for next time.

Grinning to himself, Stan finished putting everything in the large treasure chest he’d brought to collect everyone’s payments, locked it, and then drove back towards home, feeling that on the whole this had been a pretty good day.

It was just his luck, however, that Ford would be standing in the driveway as he came up, hands on his hips and wearing his “there had better be an amazing explanation for this” expression.

The cart came to a slow stop, and Stan gave his brother a weak smile.

“...Hey, Sixer. I got you more samples.”

#flipside au #gravity falls #stan pines #ford pines #Celestabellebethabelle #Stan the tour guide

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tobashiarg-blog-archive · 5 years

Text

Turns Out Being a Super Hero Is Actually Really Gay! - Chapter 6

Boom bitches! Guess who’s fucking back! Thank you all for your endless support and patients because that is truly the thing that motivates me to write this. The fact that you all are having fun and enjoying my story brings me so much joy! Once again, thank you to the brilliant @sugarglider9603 and @ask-spiderverse-virgil for creating this au, go show give them all the love in the world! Now please, ENJOY!!!

(TRIGGER WARNING: minor assault/harassment ((don’t worry it’s stopped before it happens)), homophobic slurs ((the f word)), and mild homophobia)

Master Post

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It was bound to be awkward for a while but this was just getting ridiculous. Ever since Virgil had stepped into Roman’s apartment, they hadn’t said a single word to each other, merely keeping to themselves and doing their half of the work. It wasn’t like Roman didn’t WANT to talk to Virgil it was just…him and Virgil had this really tense…relationship? No, not like that! Like in that way where you have no idea if you’re friends or not. Roman didn’t want to say something that might sound rude or be interpreted the wrong way and set Virgil off. It wasn’t like her was TRYING to be rude it’s just he kind of liked pushing Virgil’s buttons and he knew for a fact Virgil liked pushing his, they just had no idea where a line should be drawn. Unlike with him and Logan where it was a clash of ego vs ego, with Virgil it was like this sort of game.

“So…” Virgil said suddenly, causing Roman to jump a bit in surprise “…where are you in your part of the essay?”

Roman looked down at his notes before looking to scan his laptop at the Word document he had open, “Just about finished, about two or three more paragraphs. Then I’ll go over and edit out all the grammatical and spelling mistakes.”

“Cool,” Virgil nodded awkwardly “I’m about the same.”

“Cool.” Roman echoed.

Silence filled the room, even more awkward then before.

“Are you a witch?” Jenni asked. The boy turned to find the twins still hiding behind the couch, though it was less hiding and more hanging off the back of it.

“Excuse me?” Virgil asked, confused.

Roman wanted to scream but he didn’t, so instead he let the twins continue to embarrass him. For some reason lately Jenni has been really obsessed with witches, maybe it had to do with that girl, Scarlet Witch, that keeps showing up with the Avengers. She wasn’t as “scary” as the Black Widow so it was only natural for Jenni to gravitate towards her as an idol. Jenni repeated her question, “Are you a witch?”

“Of course, he’s not, dummy!” Marco snorted “He’s a boy! Only girls can be witches!”

“Harry Potter was a witch!” Jenni countered, getting up in Marco’s face.

“Nah-uh, he was a wizard, stupid!” Marco replied, just as stubborn.

“Roman, Marco called me a bad word!” Jenni screeched, pointing an accusing finger at her twin.

“Marco, that’s not very nice, apologize now,” Roman said firmly and just before his little brother could protest, he added “Or else I’m gunna tell mom.”

Marco grumbled a halfhearted apology before quickly returning to their current conversation topic, “So, are you a wizard?”

“Witch!” Jenni corrected.

Virgil chuckled behind his palm, seemingly amused by the commotion of everything. That was good, at least Roman thought so, Virgil was at least laughing and not running for the door. “Uh, I don’t know about wizard, the term is mainly used in European fairy tales mostly. Witches or witchcraft has been around for a much longer time and has many branches and history behind it while wizard is mostly in works of fiction.”

“So, you are a witch?” Jenni said excitedly with a smug side eye look towards her twin.

“Um, I don’t think witch is the politically correct term,” Virgil chuckled and Roman couldn’t help but join him “more then likely I’d be a Shaman or a Wu, a Chinese shaman, but I have absolutely no clue about either of those practices, so…no, sorry.”

Jenni pouted and Roman gasped in mock scandal, “Virgil! How could you crush my little sister’s dreams like that!”

“Hey, what did you want me to say?” Virgil snapped, though he was still smiling “I wasn’t going to lie to her!”

“Wait, there are other types of witches?” Marco pipped up curiously.

“Uh, yeah, kind of,” Virgil shrugged “it’s really more of a craft then a term; witchcraft, magick, shamanism, voodoo, hoodoo, and a lot of others. It varies from country to country but sometimes share certain elements with each other, be it religion or method of practice.”

“Geez, are you sure you’re not a witch?” Roman teased, reaching over to poke Virgil’s cheek.

Virgil rolled his eyes and swatted his hand away, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure?”

“Then how come you know all this stuff?” Roman chuckled.

“Cause it’s interesting,” Virgil replied somewhat defensively “not everyone is obsessed with Disney and musicals.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” Roman said, putting his hands up in mock surrender “just that it’s not something people usual find interest in and that’s fine too.”

Virgil huffed, fiddling with the edge of his ever-present beanie, “Yeah, whatever.”

“I think it’s cool!” Jenni pipped up, cheerily.

“Me too!” Marco added just as enthusiastically “Roman’s just lame!”

“Hey.” Roman pouted and received the annoying sound of raspberries as payment from his younger brother. Virgil was laughing again, tension gone from his shoulders once more as he ran a hand under his beanie and through his hair. The flimsy hat slipped off the emo’s head and reviled something truly horrifying. The twins stopped their antics to openly stare and Roman’s eyes got wide in shock.

“What?” Virgil asked, obviously starting to freak out over everyone’s sudden silence and staring.

“Uh,” Roman cleared his throat nervously, carefully choosing his words “I want to preface this by saying I’m NOT trying to be rude or a jerk but…what happened to your hair?”

Finally realizing he was no longer wearing his beanie Virgil freaked, cheeks turning pink as he quickly flipped his hoodie over his head and pulled the strings tight. “N-nothing…”

“Well, it don’t seem like nothing,” Roman responded, waving his arm dramatically before pausing to think “…Is this like a medical thing? Because if it is I’m really-”

“No, n-no, no,” Virgil cut in “it’s just…I-I, um…m-my hand got, uh…stuck.”

Roman nodded slowly before realizing Virgil probably couldn’t see him at the moment, “Okay, and when was this?”

“When we found out, uh…” Virgil paused a moment, most likely thinking up a way to explain what happened without exposing themselves to Jenni and Marco who were still in the room, “…when we formed the club, in the morning, I had an…accident.”

“I see,” Roman sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration “your telling me you had that monstrosity hidden under that tasteless beanie for three whole days? And you didn’t think to, I don’t know, ask your parents to help you fix it or have them take you to a barber?”

“Honestly,” Virgil sighed, sliding down under the coffee table enough so that he could rest his chin on it “I kind of forgot, to busy still freaking out over…the club, then I remembered, then I got embarrassed, then I just decided not to say anything so…yeah.”

How this boy was still alive and functioning in this world Roman will probably never know but that wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was that he let that hideous abomination atop of Virgil’s head enter his house (er, apartment) and Roman would not stand for it. Taking a breath Roman turned to the twins, “Jenni get the clipper bag, Marco get my brushes.”

“Okay.” They replied before scampering off to do as they were told.

“What’s happening?” Virgil asked, eyes wide with worry.

Roman stood up and stretched, “I’m going to fix that absolute sin you call hair. Come and sit in the kitchen, easier to clean the floor.”

Virgil scooted somewhat back, glaring at Roman pointedly, “Uh, thanks but no thanks. I rather not make it worse then what it is.”

Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes, “You’ll be fine Sweeny Toad, my mother used to be a hair dresser so I picked up a few things. Now come on,” He moved a seat from the dining table to the center of the kitchen “sit.”

Jenni and Marco soon returned with the clipper bag and brushes and sat back on the stools behind the counter as if waiting for a show to start. Virgil was still curled up like a feral cat and all that was left was for him to start hissing. Roman rolled his eyes once more, having dealt with bratty children (Read: the twins) before who didn’t want to sit still for their hair cut.

“Trust me,” Roman said “I cut and manage the twins’ hair all the time, you’ll be fine. If there is one thing I know NOT to mess with it’s hair.”

Virgil continued to glare at him and Roman sighed in response, “Come on, it can’t get any worse then what it is now. And if it does,” He raised the scissors in his hands and snipped the air “I’ll let you take a stab at me a payback. What do you say?”

Slowly Virgil uncurls from himself, sliding out from under the coffee table and standing to face them. Roman raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and Virgil raised one back in response, “If you f…mess up my hair I will shave your head off.”

“Fine,” Roman shrugged, not at all startled by the threat “but you’re gunna have to sit in the chair so I can start.”

Virgil glared at him for a few more moments before his shoulders sagged in defeat and he dragged his feet towards the kitchen. Crossing his arms, the emo plopped down in the chair where Roman quickly pulled down his hoodie and grimaced. “Oh, you poor thing, why do you hate your hair so much?”

“Just get it over with.” Virgil grumbled and that was all the consent Roman needed to start trimming.

---

The planetarium was huge, a large dome like ceiling with rows of seats spiraling inwards. The Quinn and Foster brothers took a seat near the center row with Patton and Logan sitting next to each other between everyone. Morgan gave Logan a sly smile and Logan was half tempted to elbow him again if he wasn’t worried about causing his brother possible internal damage from being hit twice at half force by a super human spider. He instead opted to punch his brother’s shoulder as lightly as he could possibly manage though it seemed not to be light enough for Morgan.

“Why must you hurt me?” Morgan whined, rubbing his sore shoulder.

“So, have you ever been to a planetarium show before?” Patton whispered, leaning in close to Logan.

“Uh, yes,” Logan replied, all to grateful for the dim room that covered his burning cheeks “but I have not seen this particular showing. I’ve been to others, much smaller but still just as captivating. Though when it comes to the vast wonders of space even the smallest shows can be an enjoyable experience.”

Patton smiled at him, still just as bright in the dim lighting, “I didn’t know you loved space so much.”

“I, uh,” Logan cleared his throat “I enjoy the subject of it, yes, it’s quite a fascinating topic.”

“If you like it so much then why don’t you join the astronomy club?” Patton asked curiously “One of my friends from culinary club, Valerie, is president of it, I’m sure they’d love a new member. They don’t get a lot of funding from the school because obviously,” Patton scoffed bitterly before perking up again “so they have to do a lot of fundraisers and I sometimes help out. But other than that, I heard it’s a lot of fun, currently they’re raising money to go to the John F. Kennedy Space Center in Florida.”

Logan felt giddy with excitement but he was quick to compose himself, “Uh, that sounds lovely Patton, but I fear that I am far too busy with my studies and other after school activities as it is to even consider joining.”

Patton pouted, much too adorable for his own good and Logan had half a mind to take back everything he said. “Oh, that’s too bad. But hey, if you ever just want to pop in and say hello, I’m sure they’d be delighted to talk to you. I’ll let Valerie know.”

“Thank you, Patton, I appreciate it,” Logan smiled shyly, the lights began to dim even more and a voice from the speakers announce that the program would begin momentarily. He felt Patton tense slightly beside him and instinctively placed his hand over Patton’s closed fist which rested on the arm rest between them. “Don’t worry, the shows about to begin.”

“Mmh.” Patton hummed and he relaxed as they laid back in their seats and watched as the projection of space illuminate the darkness, never once letting go of each other’s hands.

“Way out here, ten million light years from planet Earth, every point of light is a galaxy containing billions of stars…”

Logan gulped thickly as he felt Patton’s hand shift just a bit, splaying out his fingers so that they could gently intertwine with Logan’s. He continued to look up at the ceiling where the universe twinkled and shined before him, a kaleidoscope of technicolor and wonder. The deep charming voice of Neil deGrasse Tyson took them into a journey through the cosmos, exploring the vast reaches of space that now felt so close. But even with the mesmerizing display of stars in front of him Logan could do nothing but revile in the warmth of Patton’s hold. The warm and smooth caress of his delicate finger tips and the pumping pulse beneath his skin that let Logan know that he was alive and full of warmth and sweetness.

“We’re flying through a three-dimensional atlas of millions of galaxies. The gaps are regions we have yet to map. Beyond every galaxy we could ever observe, farthest away in space and furthest back in time, the cosmic background radiation marks the visible edge of our observable universe…”

He chanced a quick peek towards him, just something to settle his nerves and let him know that this was all real. Just as expected Patton was mesmerized by the vast array of stars swirling around and recreating their galaxy. Balls of gas and matter burned together to create planets within and out of their solar system, flashing burst of white and purple and blue and red and yellow. They filled the room with endless color and highlighted the tiny freckles across Patton’s skin which seemed to stand out like the all to familiar stars in the sky.

“The motions of galaxies within each cluster confirm the presence of dark matter. The galaxies orbit too fast to be held together by the gravity of normal matter alone. Remove the dark matter… its lensing stops … and the cluster flies apart.”

“Have you ever been so terrified yet so amazed by something all at the same time?” Patton wondered aloud, voice soft and in awe, still gazing up at their exploding universe.

Logan’s eyes never looked away from him, “Yes, I have.”

“As this time-lapse view of the Milky Way shows, stars explode fairly often—at a rate of about two per century in a galaxy like ours. So, if you observe enough galaxies, you can spot a new supernova every few nights…”

Logan was absolutely in awe with everything about Patton, from his terrible puns to the certain tenderness he kept in his heart. He always saw the best in the world but he was realistic about it all too, but even then, he showed kindness to even the most god-awful people. He was smart and brave in ways people often over looked as being a naïve boy with dumb luck. Patton was far from perfect but he was still incredibly amazing as well as terrifying. He made Logan feel things, many things, he didn’t ever think possible. Sometimes it was too much, sometimes it was not enough, other times it was airy and light but it could also be heavy and make him want to throw up. Logan had been sure he’d get over this infatuation with Patton quickly then return to his life as if it were normal again. But of course, that didn’t happen.

“Clearly there’s more to the universe than meets the eye. The Big Bang happened long ago but not far away. It happened here, there, and everywhere. Peering into the dark, we stand on the threshold of great discoveries—and we always will, as long as we keep exploring.”

The roar of applause and florescent lights softly piercing the darkness quickly snapped Logan out of his daze. The warmth of Patton’s hand slipped out from under him as he too joined the audience in their up roar and all Logan could do was copy numbly. This was all very draining and headache inducing, way too many emotions for one day. All Logan wanted to do was go home and sleep.

“That was so cool!” Patton squealed, excitedly jumping up and down “I always thought this kind of stuff would be boring or too hard for me to understand but it was really fascinating. No wonder you like space so much!”

“Yes, well,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses “the wonders of space are vast and endless so there is much to learn.”

“And yet, we’ve only explored 5% of the ocean,” Alex pipped up as he scanned over a pamphlet “I mean not that this isn’t amazing and all but isn’t it a bit concerning that we barely know anything about what covers most of our planet yet know so much about what’s outside it?”

“If it’s oceanic life you’re looking for they have an environmental exhibit here on display,” Morgan said, checking over their own map “right across from us after the American mammals.”

“Oh, you can read this map?” Alex said, turning over his pamphlet every which way “Thank god because I have no idea what I’m doing. I honestly got lost earlier and met that cute front desk lady by mistake.”

“I want to see the birds,” Georgie announced lowly.

“Ah, that’s on the second floor next to the African culture hall,” Morgan said helpfully “anything else?”

Logan sighed tiredly as Alex jumped at the opportunity, “Yeah, yeah, we should go see that, uh, dinosaur exhibit, I wanted to see that t-rex mother fucker.”

“That’s on the third floor,” Morgan said as he flipped through the map “right next to-”

“Guys,” Patton gently interrupted “they probably have their own plans for the evening. We don’t need to force them to be tour guides for us, we can find our own way around.”

“Aw, come on Pat,” Alex whined “we already got them here, might as well take advantage of those big brains of theirs. Could use a bit of relaxing from solving all the worlds problems by taking us shmucks on a tour. They already know how to use a map!”

Another quick smack across the head from Georgie had him shutting up, “Patton’s right, we should leave them alone.”

“Well, I don’t really mind,” Morgan admitted and Logan was now fully considering throwing caution to the wind and elbowing him again “what about you Lo?”

Just when Logan was about to shut down the idea and demand to go home Patton spoke up, big brown eyes on full display. Oh no. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Lo. I’m sure we can find our way around no problem.”

“He lies!” Alex stage whispered, receiving another smack from Georgie.

Honestly, how was Logan going to ever say no to those eyes? Swallowing thickly Logan quietly murmured, “Is…there a particular exhibit you’re interested in, Patton?”

Patton’s smile was shy yet still beautiful and radiant, “Are you sure?”

Logan could only nod, much to afraid of his own voice.

“I…I would actually like to look at some of the environmental exhibits,” Patton admitted bashfully “anything with plants and flowers really.”

“That be right next to the oceanic exhibit,” Morgan announced “we can look through everything here on the first floor if you want before heading on up?”

“Sounds like a plan!” Alex exclaimed as he marched forward “Onwards troops!”

Georgie and Morgan trailed close behind with Logan in the back with Patton who rolled his eyes before shrugging and smiling tiredly, “I’m sorry in advance for whatever he does.”

“As am I with my own brother.” Logan chuckled as they made their way out of the planetarium, side by side and close enough that their swinging hands casually brushed against each other every once and a while.

---

“Aren’t you supposed to be working?” Thomas asked worriedly. As promised MJ had given Thomas a drink with the works on the house before leading him towards a table near the back where MJ then proceeded to sit down with him. MJ untied his apron and threw it behind his seat before untucking his shirt and ruffling his already messy red hair. They danced like flames of ember and framed his freckled face perfectly.

“Uh, I don’t think there’s much work to do,” MJ chuckled, gesturing to the nearly empty coffee shop “unless you have somewhere important to me and want me to get out of your hair.”

“N-no, no,” Thomas stuttered “not for a while at least but I just don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“I’ll be fine,” MJ smirked, chin in hand as he leaned forward “I want to get to know my unconventional savior a bit more.”

Thomas was sure he’d permanently gone red, was flirting just how this guy spoke all the time? Thomas’s heart was not prepared for such onslaught of complements, “I’m not much to know.”

“There’s always much to know,” MJ laughed “especially with two strangers. But that’s usually easy because we’re both blank canvasses to each other so we just got to start painting.”

Thomas hesitated for a moment, “Do you work here often?”

Nice going loser…

MJ laughed again, beautiful and bell like, “Just temporary for the moment, I’m studying to be a nurse actually.”

“Oh, really,” Thomas said, actually kind of surprised that a guy who constantly puts himself in harms way would become someone that stiches up those kind of people “do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah,” MJ shrugged “it’s hard work but I like helping people. Plus, I don’t need to worry about going to the hospital every time I get into a scrap, I’ll be able to mend myself.”

Thomas huffed out an airy laugh, “I think you should be avoiding fight, you know?”

“Oh, I do,” MJ assured with a smirk “it’s just they can’t seem to avoid me. But lady luck must be on my side because she practically granted me a guardian angel. Well, guardian…spider? I don’t really know honestly.”

Thomas willed his cheeks to not flush more crimson as he asked, “Why do you think that?”

“You’re not gunna believe this but,” MJ rubbed the back of his neck nervously “I’ve kind of been saved by Rainbow Weaver a bit too many times. Poor guy, I must make his job a living hell if he has to keep dealing with me twice a week.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind,” Thomas said, casually sipping his drink “I mean, he is a hero so it’s his job to look out for people. I’m sure you’re fine and not a bother at all.”

MJ raised a suspicious eyebrow before smiling wide, “And how would you know that? Have you met him or something?”

“Maybe once or…twice,” Thomas fibbed “he’s a pretty chill dude so I assume he wouldn’t mind much.”

“Really?” MJ chuckled then took a deep sigh “Still, I really do tend to get into a lot of trouble.”

Yeah, no shit! Thomas added in his brain but smiled sympathetically on the outside, “I kind of get what you mean, I…admittingly, have a tendency to run into danger myself sometimes.”

“I can see that,” MJ teased “Mr. I-can-disarm-a-gun-single-handedly!”

He smiled sheepishly, hiding behind the rim of his coffee cup, “To be honest, a friend of mine showed me that move so I really can’t take all the credit.”

MJ pouted, cute and dramatic, “Are you denying my praise and admiration? How dare you, sir! I gave you free coffee and I only ever do that to big shot heroes!” A sly wink followed soon after “And good looking guys, both help, really.”

Thomas choked on his coffee, pounding his chest to bring back air into his lungs. Meanwhile, MJ giggled in delight at the sight of Thomas is misery and embarrassment, although he did lean forward to pat Thomas’s back. Once semi functioning MJ giggled again, leaning down to meet Thomas at eye level and the greying man had to control himself so that he wouldn’t go into another coughing fit. Steel blue eyes sparkled in amusement, “A bit too much?”

Thomas cleared his throat, “Maybe a little…sorry, I’ve, uh, never been…well, I haven’t been…”

“Flirted with?” MJ finished with a giggle “I find that very hard to believe.”

Thomas shrugged, “I-I mean, at least not with a really cute guy that apparently need to get saved twice a week.”

Now it was MJ’s turn to blush, freckles on full display like little constellations in the night sky. A goofy smile spreading across the red head’s face as he bit his bottom lip, “Maybe I need somebody to watch my back. Rainbow Weaver can’t be there all the time.”

“What makes you think I’m even qualified for the job?” Thomas asked with a shy shrug.

“Because you’re sweet,” MJ smiled “and you were willing to risk your life for a stranger.”

“I mean, I did get free coffee out of it,” Thomas smirked causing MJ to snort “plus, we’re hardly strangers, I know your name now and you know mine. And I also know that you’re studying to be a nurse! I’m pretty sure a stranger wouldn’t know that.”

“No, he wouldn’t, you’re right we’re practically lifelong friends,” MJ laughed, turning back to his apron at the back of his seat and digging through the pockets. He pulled out a black sharpie and took Thomas’s coffee cup to scribble over. “So, with that being established I think it is appropriate now for you…to have my number? And maybe…I could have yours?”

Thomas could only squeak out a wheezing, “Sure.”

---

“There, all done.” Roman put down the scissors on the counter and unwrapped the plastic wrap from around Virgil’s body. He dusted it off and proceeded to fold it as he circled around Virgil with a critical eye.

Virgil was been tense the entire time Roman was cutting his hair, he didn’t want to move even a centimeter for the fear Roman may actually fuck up. Jenni and Marco kept up casual conversation to keep him distracted, continuing to ask him about witches and what he knew about them. The were nice kids, definitely had Roman’s big personality, but still very sweet plus, they knew how to get under Roman’s skin and Virgil respected that. Then it was over and all of Virgil’s previous worries came flooding back all at once.

“How bad did you mess it up?” Virgil asked worriedly.

Roman scoffed, handing him a hand mirror before going off to sweep the kitchen, “Honestly, have a little more confidence in me.”

Virgil tentatively peered into the mirror to see what irreversible horrors awaited him. To his surprise it was actually a really nice cut, the left side was cut short in a smooth gradient sort of way while the right side was left longer and framed itself around his eye. It was a bit messy but Virgil guessed it was supposed to be that way, keeping to his aesthetic and all, but overall, he actually really liked it.

Virgil looked back up to give Roman his thanks and apologize for ripping on him earlier but froze to find that Roman was staring at him and frowning. Jesus, was he really that upset about Virgil not believing he could cut hair? “Uh, I actually kind of dig it so don’t worry about-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know that you like it,” Roman waved him off, leaning up against the counter as he continued to glare at him “I am amazing after all. It’s just now that I look at you I’m kind of pissed.”

“I’m sorry.” Virgil apologized, though for what he didn’t know.

“I like his hair cut!” Marco announced.

“Me too!” Jenni added “He looks cute!”

Virgil flushed red and Roman finally burst, “That’s the problem! I was honestly vouching for him to look at least semi-decent but he actually pulls off this look!”

“W-what?” Virgil squeaked.

What was happening? What was going on? Roman was complementing him but was also pissed at him. That is a very weird combination of emotions to be had as well as to receive.

“You look cute,” Roman stated plainly and narrowed his eyes “and I hate you because of it.”

“Why?” Virgil was starting to get a bit frustrated because he’s pretty sure all the blood in his body has redirected itself to his face. Also, what the hell was Roman’s deal?

“Because you’re an emo nightmare and you’re not supposed to be cute!” Roman replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well, excuse me!” Virgil snapped.

“No, you shall not be excused because how dare you!” Roman exclaimed dramatically “How dare you have the audacity to be cute so flawlessly while the rest of us have to work for it every day!”

Virgil groaned, throwing his hands up in frustration, “What is wrong with you?”

“A lot of things really.” The twins said at the same time and if Virgil weren’t so thoroughly frustrated at the moment, he might have thought it was creepy.

“Zip it, Fred and George!” Roman snarked and was responded with two sets of loud raspberries.

Virgil ran a hand through his newly cut hair and sighed deeply, “Look, thank for the haircut, sorry you hate it, I’m gunna leave now.”

He began to make his way towards the living room but Roman was quick to catch his arm, “Wait, we aren’t finished with our essay.”

“It’s good enough,” Virgil snapped, taking his arm back “plus, I don’t very much want to sit here and be insulted for my hair, which by the way you cut.”

“I don’t hate your hair Virgil,” Roman replied with a laugh “I’m saying that you’re cute and that I’m frustrated about it because you put zero effort into it. Meanwhile, yours truly has to moisturize every night, put product in my hair, and still do my make-up to at least look decent for the day!”

Virgil glared at Roman, he had no idea what to make of this boy. One minute he’s insulting him then he’s complementing him, he’s nice then he’s a jerk and the cycle continues. Virgil doesn’t get him or how he functions! Roman was so frustrating and flipped flopped emotions so quick Virgil’s head was dizzy. Contrary to popular beliefs Virgil was just as bad at social cues as Logan was so he had no clue how to tell when Roman was joking or not!

Finally, Virgil said, “That’s stupid!”

“Ooo, you said a bad word!” The twins cried.

“Silence demons!” Virgil snarked and the little monsters straight up hissed at him “Like I was saying, that’s stupid! Why the hell are you even worried about that? I’m not even…I’m not…”

Virgil couldn’t even finish the statement it was so ridiculous. He wasn’t cute damn it! Roman was just being weird and dramatic like always! He just wanted to see Virgil flustered and embarrassed, well, that’s not going to happen! Virgil refused to be made a fool of again!

“You’re cute! Admit it!” Roman smirked, because he’s a stubborn jerk who won’t admit he’s wrong.

“I am not!” Virgil groaned, arms crossed and no, he was not pouting! “You’re just an idiot!”

“You’re basically a tiny kitten,” Roman snickered “at first glance people might mistake you for this great big jungle cat-”

“Because it’s true!” Virgil stomped.

“But really you’re just an adorable little kitty cat.” Roman laughed, easily dodging Virgil’s attempt to punch him. Virgil then proceeded to chase Roman around the apartment while the theatrical teen laughed and continued to dodge his attacks. All the while the twins chanted, “Virgil is a kitty! Virgil is a kitty!”

“I am not!”

---

Overall, Patton was glad Logan and his brother was able to say with them a bit longer, they were pretty great tour guides, Logan especially though maybe Patton was a bit biased. Morgan mainly hung around Georgie and Alex, answering all their questions and helping defuse Alex’s plans on climbing up on one of the dinosaur’s displays. Meanwhile, Logan and Patton were practically left to their own devices, which Patton was perfectly fine with, Logan knew a lot of neat stuff and provided insightful in formation on every exhibit. It would have been perfect if Alex didn’t keep giving him suggestive winks plus and enthusiastic thumbs up though Patton is about 85% sure he saw Morgan do the same thing earlier.

He flushed red at the thought of it, was his crush on Logan really that obvious? Did they see him and Logan holding hands during the planetarium show? Patton was going to let go, he swears, it’s just Logan’s hand felt so nice and warm immensely calming Patton’s nerves when everything suddenly got dark. So, he just kind of left it there, Logan didn’t seem to notice or at least Patton thinks he didn’t. Patton was focusing too hard on watching the show and acting as casual as possible.

It was dark in there so Patton didn’t worry about anyone seeing his flushed face but that was now not the case for the rest of the museum. Thankfully, Logan was too enraptured by all the museum’s exhibits to fully pay attention to Patton’s constantly blushing face. Patton had to repress a dreamy sigh threatening to escape him as he watched Logan ramble on and on about animals from the Cretaceous period, he really did look best when talking about the things he was passionate about.

Okay, so like maybe, this all kind of, sort of looked like a date? If you could count a date involving your two older brothers and your crush is brother babbling in front of them as he and Logan trail behind. It was like a very chaperoned date…in Patton’s head at least. It was silly to think off it like that, he knew, but the whole atmosphere of the evening left Patton feeling all fluttery and excited. Even if it wasn’t just the two of them Patton still felt this sort of intimacy between them and, maybe, the sense that Logan might like him back.

Patton didn’t know how much control he had over these empathetic powers of his, Joan and Talyn had turned them off after that whole experiment thing, saying how they were supposed to grow and come in naturally. But aside from that when he and Logan were holding hands during the planetarium show Patton swore he felt tiny slivers of something warm and familiar. Little sparks of pleasure he knew he felt before every time their hands brush. But he really couldn’t be sure so Patton continued to smile and accidently bump against Logan’s shoulder as they walked through the entire museum and into the gift shop.

As usually the elder brothers left the youngers to their own devices more then likely to stop Alex from flirting with the cashier lady. There were many interesting educational toys and items such as candy rock making kits, puzzles, fossil digging cubes, layered mineral rocks, arrow heads and an assortment of other items. Of course, Patton went straight towards the large bins filled with plushies, with Logan not far behind.

“Why is there a monkey in a space suit?” Patton asked, picking up the soft plush toy from one of the large square bins.

“Before sending human up into space they sent animals,” Logan explained “mainly monkeys and apes since they closely resemble our genealogy.”

There were lots of other plushies in the bin such as dinosaurs, birds, and other animals as well as plants, rocks, ships, and planets with cute little faces on them. Patton grabbed a tiny smiling blue ball with specks of white and brought it up to eye level. “I’m guessing this little guy is Pluto, I’m surprise that he’s even here.”

“Well, some people still consider it a planet,” Logan said in a sort of adorably huffy manner before bashfully shrugging “or maybe it’s left over from previous stock long ago.”

Patton giggled, “And where do you stand on the Pluto debate?”

Logan adjusted his glasses critically, “Calling it a dwarf planet is just saying it’s a planet but smaller then average. It has its own moon as well as the other necessities to be a planet but just because of its size it is diminished to dwarf planet.”

“Wow, you have a lot to say on the matter,” Patton smirked delighted by the endearing flush that painted Logan’s cheeks. He reached to pick up another plushie, this one a robot of sorts, “What’s this?”

“That’s the Opportunity rover,” Logan pipped up quickly “Oppy, as some people have nicked named her, she was sent to scan and observe the surface of Mars. She was accompanied by her twin Sprit but he unfortunately got stuck in a sand trap and has cease function. She was only supposed to function for 90 days but excided that by 14 years and 46 days.” Logan frowned a bit, a glimmer of sadness in his eye before he quickly shook it off, “Soon, after in 2012 they sent the Curiosity rover and as of now it is the only one still active out of the three of them.”

“Aw, does that mean he’s up there all by himself now?” Patton said mournfully, holding the little robotic plushie close to his chest.

“Unfortunately, so,” Logan responded blankly “but even so, we will surely have Curiosity functioning for a number of years more. So, we’ll still have plenty of more time to explore the surface of Mars before we inevitably launch there ourselves.”

“But he’ll still be all alone for years and years,” Patton pouted “that can’t be a pleasant experience even for a robot. Just being all on your own on a seemingly lifeless planet with nobody there to talk to you or comfort you when your sad.”

Logan gave a half smirk, amusement glittering in his eyes, “I’m sure he’ll be fine, he can still communicate back and forth with mission control here on Earth. So, it’s kind of like always having someone on call with a one-way video face time.”

“That is a little better,” Patton hummed thoughtfully “but still, the thought of being completely alone in the vastness of space…kind of freaks me out.”

“Well, thankfully you’re not alone,” Logan said warmly, his smirk now stretching into a shy yet honest smile “you’re here on Earth with very many people who care about you.”

Patton flushed pink but smiled back none the less, “Yeah, I guess so.”

They all finished making their purchases before making their way towards the exit. The crowed had thinned out immensely as evening dwindled into night and what people remained were slowly but surely making their way out. Once again the elders tailed up front talking away while Logan and Patton lingered behind discussing the concept of human awareness and if one day robots will be able to gain this awareness.

“Like, I’m not saying a robot uprising in the sense that they’ll enslave and kill us,” Patton explained, hands gesturing wildly “but something similar to protests and political campaigns that fought for equal rights. If they’re beings of intellect then they’ll know that violence will get them nowhere and hurt their cause more then help it.”

“Wow, you have a lot to say on the matter.” Logan teased.

Patton shrugged shyly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I just…think sci-fi has demonized the why humans will react to other species coming into contact with us. I mean, we aren’t complete monsters and usually the species we’ll ‘supposedly’ interact with aren’t either.”

“Hmm, you do have a point,” Logan nodded “though honestly if they do end up attacking us, I’m pretty sure we deserved it one way or another.”

Patton snorted, “Probably.”

It happened quickly, a buzzing at the back of his head and a burst of color flashing over his eyes. A voice in his head told him to hold down the back of his skirt and side step forward quickly, so that’s just what he did. When Patton turned around to look, he saw a man on his knees with his arm twisted around behind him by a very furious looking Logan.

“Fuck, let go!” The man wheezed out, another man nearby jogged towards them “Jesus, man lay off!”

Logan payed no mind to what they said, only looked to the man on his knees as he seemed to put more pressure on his arm and lowly asked, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I didn’t do nothing!” The man whined, trying and failing to get out of Logan’s solid hold “Get off me you freak!”

“Fuck off dude!” The man’s friend replied, taking half a step forward before freezing under Logan’s glare. “Clearly, he is lying. Because from what I gathered by the precarious position I caught him in was that he was about to pull up my friend’s skirt.”

“I said I didn’t do anything!” The man cried.

“No, but you were going to.” Logan growled, seeming to increase the pressure on the man’s arm.

Patton heard a commotion behind him and turned to find his brothers and Morgan racing back towards them with a security guard hot on their tale. They seemed to be trying to out run the security man and were quick to circle around them as if to block out anymore preying eyes.

“Logan, let him go!” Morgan whispered harshly and, almost reluctantly, Logan complied, the man dropping to the floor clutching his arm. The man’s friend rushed to help him to his feet while Logan still stood by, arms crossed and glaring daggers.

“What the hell is going on?” Georgie demanded.

“That’s what I would like to know.” The security guard pipped up from behind them. Immediately, the man points an accusing finger at Logan, “Officer, this man physically assaulted me!”

“Falsehood!” Logan snapped.

“You were going to pull up my skirt!” Patton shrieked, finally able to find his voice again. He was not going to get Logan in trouble again on his behalf.

“I didn’t fucking do anything, you stupid fag!” The man snapped.

“The fuck did you say!” Alex growled, surging forward to grab the man by the front of his shirt. Had he not Patton was sure Logan and Georgie were close to do so as well.

Patton felt a pit in his stomach, everything was turning into chaos all because of him, again. Why couldn’t he say anything? Why couldn’t he do anything? Why did he have to be such a big baby and cause trouble? How ironic for someone training to be a hero to always get put into situations like this yet isn’t able to save himself. How pathetic.

“Hey, hey, settle!” The security guard commanded, quickly getting in between both men “Now, what I see here is we got two options. One: someone can fess up and give me the real story or two: we can check the security camera, it wouldn’t take too long.”

At the mention of cameras, the two men paled and Logan smirked, the security guard looked tired and seemed to want to be anywhere but here. “If what the young man said was true then you two were the ones committing assault and this other young man here was merely acting in self-defense for his companion.”

“He almost broke my arm!” The main fiend complained.

“I didn’t even do anything!” The other barked, pointing a few feet away “I was standing over there!”

“You were more than likely an accomplice and bared witness to the crime without bothering to interfere,” Morgan quipped, speaking up after his long time silent observation, a calculated look in his eyes “I’ll bet if we look at the camera footage we’ll be able to see you two conspiring together to humiliate my friend like some god damn children before playing rock, paper, scissors or double dog daring one another to go do it. Am I hitting the ball park here? And while I’m at it I’ve been looking through your guys is records and this isn’t your first offence.”

Stepping forward like some sort of professional high security secretary, Morgan pulled up his phone for all to see. There, side by side, were photos of the two men along with their names, contacts, and crimes they’ve been charged for. Patton was pretty sure the two men were nearing the process of passing out their faces were so pale, while Morgan seemed to mimic Logan’s smirk.

“Drunken violence, public indecency, property damage on multiple charges, as well as, surprise, surprise, physical and sexual assault,” Morgan listed off as he continued to scroll through his phone “My, my, you boys have been busy. Now with all of these charges in mind please, pray tell, what were you two thinking when you decided to pull up an under-age boy’s skirt in a high security museum? Or are you that stupid?”

They spat and sputtered but to no avail, not only was one of them caught red handed they had the odds stacked against them. Morgan provided no form of mercy, “Yeah, that’s what I thought, not to worry the police should be here any-” The front entrance was open and four officers came running in “Oh, there they are.”

The men tried in vain to run but the police were able to easily tackle them down while the security guard ushered them all to the side, more then likely waiting to be questioned. Patton felt a bit numb, not really sure if what happened was real or not, there was a lot of energy and emotions in the air and it all gave him a headache. Warm fingers tangled between his and Patton was suddenly brought back to the ground and looking into Logan’s dark eyes.

“Are you okay?” Logan asked, brow frowned in worry.

Patton nodded slowly, “Yeah, thanks.”

“Dude, how were you able to do that? With like the phone and the records and the police and stuff?” Alex exclaimed gesturing to the men being led away in cuffs. Morgan winked mischievously, “Ah, a true computer genius hacker never gives away his secrets…er, phone computer genius hacker? Uh, basically a long story short I did a thing that I will explain to you later because it is, ahem, semi-illegal.”

They all side eyed the security guard who merely shook his head and shrugged. Another officer came by a few minutes later relieving the poor security guard of his duties so as to ask questions. They were all pretty standard: what happened? Why did it happen? Do you want to press charges? Everybody jumped to say yes but honestly Patton didn’t want to deal with anything anymore, he just wanted to go home. Morgan, ever the mystery man genius, said he would willingly handle all the legal stuff so that Patton didn’t have to do anything but sign a few papers, saying how he had a friend who he graduated with who works in the criminal justice system. Usually, Patton didn’t like to bother people and he was trying this whole new thing about fighting for himself but he really, really did not want to deal with complex legal stuff. He also did not want to stress out his family more then they probably already were going to be then he needed too. So, he and his brothers graciously accepted his help.

“You know young man,” The officer said in that adult tone of voice used to scold children “maybe you shouldn’t be wearing a skirt out in public? Would give you an easier time and call much less attention to yourself.”

Okay, so Patton has moved on from tired and pitiful to kind of pissed off, “Excuse me?”

“I’m just saying,” The officer said gently, as if it would make this situation any better “if you were to wear more proper clothes, you’d have less trouble and this situation probably would not have happened.”

He felt Logan’s fingers curl tightly against his, body tensed and ready to jump to Patton’s defense and rescue one more. But Patton was getting really tired of having to be rescued all the time, not that he didn’t appreciated it especially from Logan, but her was getting quite fed up with everything right about now.

“Well, it shouldn’t have happened at all!” Patton said firmly, not really shouting but voice still loud and clear “Regardless of how I dress or how anyone dresses nobody should ever be treated like this! Instead of telling me how I should dress ‘properly’ maybe you should start doing your job and telling people it’s not okay to harass someone just because they’re different or dress a certain way or act a certain way or whatever?”

The officer frowned disapprovingly, like a teacher towards a failing student, but he was no teacher he was an idiot. “Sir, I’m merely suggesting a-”

“I don’t want your suggestions!” Patton snapped “I want to live my life just like everybody else in the world without being bullied or harassed or called names or being shamed just because I’m alive!”

Stunned silence filled the room and Patton just knew that all eyes were on him, surprised and in awe that sweet little Patton would snap at an authority figure. It all would have been quite overwhelming for him if he didn’t have Logan’s fingers intertwined with his and his steady stream of fire and calmness filling his senses. A weird mix of feelings but useful in helping ground Patton and not have him blow up completely. He chanced a quick peek at Logan from the side of his eye and saw a wide and seemingly proud smile stretched across his face.

“I think we’re done here,” Georgie announced, leaving no room for argument “there seems to not be anymore questions you guys need so we’ll just leave.”

“We’ll be in contact, I assure you?” Morgan added as he ushered everyone towards the front exit.

“Our people will call your people.” Alex winked, throwing finger guns at the officer.

They quickly made it to the parking area where they exchanged pleasantries and goodnights before having to part. Georgie and Alex thanked Morgan and Logan immensely for their help, Morgan for handling all the legal stuff and calling the police and Logan for being there to stop the creep. Both Quinn brothers seemed to flush red at the complements and praise, assuring it wasn’t that big of a deal and that they were happy to help. But just before they could part ways Logan thrusted his gift bag towards Patton.

“I, um, thought you might like it,” Logan murmured, avoiding eye contact “I was going to give it to you earlier but, uh, that…happened.”

Patton smiled, happily accepting it before handing over his own gift bag to Logan, “I got you something too.”

“Oh, y-you didn’t – I mean, thank you.” Logan reached for the bag and Patton, once again, did something very bold. He firmly took Logan’s hand, pulled him forward, and gently kissed his cheek.

Patton was quick to pull back, face flushed pink but still smiling, “Thanks for saving me again, you seem to be having to do that a lot.”

Logan was silent for a moment, eyes wide and a careful hand placed over the cheek Patton just kissed. He quickly shook out of his daze, “I-it’s no problem…I’ll always be there if you need me. That is what friends do, correct?”

“Yeah,” Patton giggled “and I’ll be there if you ever need me too, okay?”

Logan nodded vigorously, “Affirmative.”

There was a car honk behind them and Alex is annoying voice yelling across the parking lot, “Come on lover boy, Ma want’s us home soon!”

There was an audible smack and a whiny “ow!” soon thereafter. Patton sighed and smiled apologetically towards Logan before dropping his hand and slowly walking backwards. “I gotta go, see you at school?”

“Uh, yeah, see you.” Logan replied, awkwardly waving his hand.

Patton couldn’t help but giggle and wave back before turning to rush towards the car. Alex booked it out of the parking lot, all the while teasing Patton about his little moment with Logan. But Patton wasn’t really paying attention, instead he was curiously looking inside the bag Logan gave him and found a robotic plushie. At first Patton had assumed it to be Oppy but the design was different so he looked at the tag attached to it and saw that it said Curiosity with a bit of scribbled handwriting at the bottom.

Surely, he will not feel as lonely now that he’s with you. -L.Q.

Patton bit down on his lip to hold back a squeal threatening to burst out of him as he hugged the little robot close to his heart.

---

Virgil left an hour before his mother and sister were due home and the twins whined the whole while not wanting him to leave. They had both latched on to Virgil’s legs and it took Roman an embarrassingly long time to pry them off, with Virgil teasing him the whole time. He left soon after and Roman sat the twins down and scolded them for their behavior, such actions might have been fine with Patton but Virgil was different, especially when it came to physical touch. Although, it didn’t seem like he had minded Roman told the twins if ever he came back that they should ask before engaging in any physical contact.

They seemed to understand well enough and that was all Roman needed before he was ushering them to take a shower and change for bed. Obviously, it didn’t go that easy without a bit of fighting so by the time his mother and sister got back home the twins were freshly bathed, wrestled into their pajamas, and Roman was currently combing his Jenni’s hair while Marco played with his cars.

“Como te fue? ¿Se comportaron los niños?” His mother asked, peeking into the room with Leslie right behind her. They looked tired, hair a mess and dark circles around their eyes.

“It went fine,” Roman replied, finishing Jenni’s hair and tying it off in a simple braid “the twins were fine and we were able to finish everything.”

“Aye, que bien.” She replied.

“Roman’s got a boyfriend!” Jenni announced loudly “And he’s totally a secret witch even though he says he isn’t! But I know!”

Roman squeaked as he pulled his little sister to his chest and clapped a hand over her mouth, “You shush! Time for bed!”

“¡Romano tiene novio! ¡Romano tiene novio!” Marco chanted as he began to jump up and down on his bed.

“Shut it, you little demon!” Roman growled, face aflame.

“Marco no jumping on the bed,” Leslie scolded before a sly smirk crossed her face “and Roman, why didn’t you tell us it was your boyfriend coming over? We could of sent the twins off to their friends how so you two could have some alone time.”

“It’s not like that at all!” Roman shrieked “W-we’re just friend who made a club together, that’s all!”

“Ay, pero Romano, ¿por qué no lo invitaste a cenar para que podemos conocerlo adecuadamente? Quiero asegurarme de que va a ser bueno para mi pequeño príncipe.” His mother giggled along with the rest of his family and Roman really wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

---

Thomas on a roof of a shop near a familiar alley way in full Rainbow Weaver gear. He had just finished making a full sweep around the city an hour ago and decided to take a quick brake before doing another one. He quietly observed the familiar little café across the street and the familiar red head wiping down the tables one last time.

Thomas had stayed to talk to MJ a while more before an influx of customers suddenly made there way in for a late after work coffee run. MJ now suddenly had plenty of work to do and Thomas suddenly remembered that he had a city to be patrolling. They reluctantly parted ways, Thomas sputtering like a fool while MJ was as charming and as cool as ever. He was lucky that he packed a bag with him and stuck his Rainbow Weaver gear onto a nearby building or else he’d have to be fumbling back home and explain to Joan and Talyn why he hadn’t been patrolling the city for two whole hours. He wasn’t ready for the teasing sure to come when they eventually find out that he had been distracted by a cute boy who worked in a coffee shop and that he saves twice a week.

Speaking of, said cute boy was walking out of the coffee shop now, smiling down at his phone as he typed away at something or another. Thomas suddenly felt his own phone vibrate in his pocket and he was quick to pull it out and see a new texts message.

MJ<3: i think i’ll take a different route home today ;-)

Thomas looked back up to watch and sure enough instead of crossing the street MJ turned right towards a much safer part of town. Thomas couldn’t help feel a bit bummed out that he wouldn’t be able to have another possible interaction with MJ again tonight but he was much more happy that MJ took his advice to a safer path home.

Thomas: Good choice! Get home safely :)

MJ<3: Sure thing tiger! <3

---

Virgil had stomped all the way home grumbling to himself. Stupid Roman and his demon siblings kept teasing him the whole time he was there, though admittingly it was kind of fun. Especially since the twins were always willing to turn head on their older brother real fast. They eventually finished the essay and just kind of spent the whole evening bickering and answering Jenni’s curious questions about witches until Virgil had to go back home. He was surprised when they both latched on to his legs and begged him not to leave but soon became amused as he watched Roman struggle to pull them off.

Despite Roman’s entire personality in general he was a good brother and a good person at heart. He just tends to rub people the wrong way (mainly Virgil) sometimes, he was loud and brash, and spoke before he thought. But he wasn’t out right awful, nor was he terrible to be around just very, very annoying. Virgil still didn’t know what to make of Roman and their weird teasing back and forth but he could for sure say that it was…good. For now, at least.

His parents questioned him about the hair cut as soon as he got home and he truthfully told them what happened, not wanting to lie to them if he didn’t have to. They really didn’t mind and actually liked the hair but told him that he really should call them next time and ask for permission before letting his friend cut his hair.

He quickly promised and tiredly slipped in to his room where he was greeted by an excited JD, as always. After feeding and placing fresh water in his tank Virgil kicked off his shoes and proceeded to flop into bed, fully prepared to just sleep. Then his phone pinged!

Idiot: u will now be happy to know that I have now changed ur contact name to Nyan Cat!

Nyan Cat: fuck you!

Idiot: mmh not now maybe later ;-P

Virgil cheeks flushed red, growling as he began to furiously type back a reply. He took back every nice thing he said about the moron, he was the worst!

---

Morgan and Logan of course had to inform their parents about the situation that happened on their evening out. They weren’t freaking out as much as the late time Logan got in trouble but they were still worried none the less. They scolded Logan for his rush into violence but also commended him for protecting his friend from danger. For some reason Morgan did not mention to them about his part in the whole fiasco but instead gave them a vague summery of what went down. He was kind of glad for that, not that Morgan didn’t deserve credit, because he really did work wonders today, but Logan did not want to go another round of compare and contrast between him and his brother.

Logan sluggishly made his way into his room, completely drained from the whole outing. From the walking to the socializing and large crowed of the museum Logan was both physically and mentally drained. But as he looked down at the gift bag still in his hand and the warmth that blossomed in his chest, he couldn’t help but think it wasn’t too bad. A few minor complications but overall the part before the incident and after were pretty great. His cheeks were warm as he ran a finger over the spot where Patton had kissed him and he couldn’t help but let out a dreamy sigh.

Curiosity finally got the better of him and Logan quickly reached into the bag and pulled out a familiar soft round ball, pale blue with white specks and a cute smiling face. He smiled to himself before noticing the neat loopy hand writing on the end of the tag.

Viva la Pluto! <3

Logan was sure that he had a big goofy smile spread across his face by now and was so glad that he was alone in his room. Though he was soon snapped out of his warm and fuzzy day dream by the ping and vibration of his phone. He quickly fished it out of his pocket honestly expecting it to Virgil ready to complain about the god-awful time he had over at Roman’s place but was pleasantly surprised to find that it was Patton.

Patton: the moon is smiling tonight! :)

Logan peeked out his window and sure enough was in its waxing crescent formation which edged near the bottom, looking like a giant smile in the night sky. Logan chuckled softly to himself as he quickly typed out a reply.

Lolo: So, it is.

Tags: (sorry if it doesn’t work, Tumblr is stupid)

@immortaldystopia @metaphoricalpluto2 @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @misunderstood-shadow @fairytailtwists @0callmevirge0 @blenderkit17 @galaxy-lilies-main @lumi-1 @paint-in-flames @i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing @superwholocked-for-life @generalfandomfabulousness @oakskull@scarletnoiryt @softnic @asiagotea3890 @enteryourfandomhere @saltwithrandomfandoms @ninjago2020 @average-human @hecksupremeart @teepee-honesty @perfectly-precautiously-gay @a-weirdo-with-a-computer@itsashtronomy @khadij-al-kubra @maryjanewolf @icequeenoriginal @ocs-and-chapters @lilyfond @palepanfandomtrash @always-in-a-fandom @boxofsushi @hellomusicalnerdhere

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logicality #prinxiety #spiderverse au #spiderverse #tw assualt #tw harassment #tw homophobic slur #tw homophobia #tobashiarg!

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ambistep · 4 years

Text

On My Block

Retribution Spoilers. Part 4 of 5. Each part will be a vignette for a member of the crew. This one is for ZaZa. Gang members are mostly my headcanon built off the bit parts they get in Retribution.

It isn’t discrete. It isn’t professional. It’s a statement, it’s ego. It’s a cherry red corvette tearing down Reservoir Street, taking a sharp turn and slowing as it pulls into a neighborhood, slowing to a crawl. Street game at the end of the cul de sac stops play, kids turn and shield their eyes from the glare to take a long look at that gleaming ride pulling into the driveway of an old green one-story pre-quake residence.

There’s a whistle from the gawkers, “Here comes money.”

“Oh shit, somebody got lost.”

“Old man’s got a guest with drip .”

The engine cuts, the music stops and he takes his time stepping out. Showing off for neighborhood kids. It’s petty as fuck but what’s the point of getting paid if you can’t be petty about it. He takes a moment to straighten his cuffs, nice suit, no tie, flashy look but not too loud, that kind that says ‘this is every damn day for me.’

“I know that ain’t ZaZa.”

“Been a minute. That ain’t him.”

“Didn’t your brother used to run with him?”

“Kinda.” A bolder onlooker calls out, “‘ey, man! You lost or something?”

He waves off the kids, “I dunno, you supposed to be in school or something? Damn.” It’s an act, being irritated, but it gives him an excuse to slow his walk up to the door.

“Oh, oh shit , it is him.”

“ZaZa, ZaZaaaa, come on, man, what’s good?!”

He twists his old key in the lock and ducks through the door, and immediately wishes he hadn’t. Pictures all on the wall. Himself, at graduation, when wearing his JROTC uniform and that shitty ass high fade. Old pictures of a woman he can hardly remember - and doesn’t want to. Pictures of his old man, mostly in uniform, on deployment, a wedding photo. A newer picture, too, of Dad with a grave-looking Asian dude - with fancy ass mods on his arms, subtle but easy to spot when you’re really looking. Not a new picture, he realizes - he just recognizes the face now, from Clarity’s briefings. Wei Chen.

“Xavier, you damn near gave me a heart attack. Can’t just go walking into other folks’ houses.” Captain Wesley Alexander, USAF (RET). Seen better days, still got his hair short.

Xavier catches himself staring a little too long, then rubs the back of his neck, “Didn’t think it was ‘other folks’, my bad. You should change the locks.” He plays it cool, because he’s cool now. He’s not a dumb kid. He looks back to the picture. “This the Marshal? Never noticed before.”

“Yeah. Used to come to my groups. Probably not supposed to tell you that.” But dad’s a little proud is all. His service mattered to him, and Xavier telling Uncle Sam to fuck off had always been a sore spot. “You look good. Like the suit.”

There’s a nod from Xavier, he leans in for a quick hug, a pat on the back. Too light for the time it’s been. “Missed you, old man. You still letting Terrence cut that hair. There’s gotta be a better way.”

Caught off guard by the hug, he shakes his head, a big grin, “VA doesn’t cover barbers and Terrence ain’t raised his prices since the 90s. Come on, sit down.” Father leads son on back to the kitchen table. Dodgers playing on that same boxy old TV.

“Place hasn’t changed since high school.”

“Know you didn’t think so, but it’s a good house.” He frowns, picking up the beer that had been interrupted.

“Wasn’t the house that was the problem, dad.” ZaZa shakes his head, “You ever think about moving?��

“Not gonna move.”

“I can help out, I mean, I got a new job, no reason you gotta grow old being cooped up here at the end of the old block.”

“Not about the money. I like it here. I like cooped up.” He lifted his chin up, “New job? Better not be anything stupid. Don’t get why you couldn’t have just stuck with the army -”

“‘Cause I like my feet and I’m not about to listen to some redneck from Jawja bitch at me in bootcamp, damn.” He snaps a little, goes for a low blow, and regrets it at once. His dad shifts a leg, moves his prosthetic foot on impulse. “It’s not for me. And don’t worry. It’s just another private security thing. Like the last one, but better. Got a good team of folks and everything. Keep it professional.”

Wesley knows the lie but not how to cut through it, so he shakes his head and looks back to the baseball game. “Keep your head on straight, don’t shoot yourself in the foot.”

Good advice. “Relax, it’s not Afghanistan. We hardly even leave the city, and my boss, she’s good at looking out.”

“Lady boss? Definitely don’t let a woman talk you into anything stupid.”

Xavier snorts. “It’s 2020, old man. Pretty sure she’s seen more action than you ever did.” The point’s taken though. Clarity was solid, seemed solid. But the politics thing… People like that thought they could change the world, wanted to take on the world. Hard to see that going well. “Maybe she already did.”

“Xavier Alexander, don’t you go getting twisted over a woman and a job that pays too much.”

The money’s good, the tech is fun. Working with the others is good, even that tight-ass Pelayo. Fucking over the government, the military, that felt good too - they still owe him, big time. The only problem is that - that feeling that maybe it’s too much for him. Maybe his dad had a point. Is that why he’d come on over? Get grounded, reassess.

He looks back over at the picture wall, at Marshal Steel’s uncovered face, like a challenge.

And the answer is no. Fuck that. He’s the best shooter on the West Coast. Deadeye had her boosts but he’s all homegrown and better believe he’s every bit as good. Better even. Fuck them Rangers, too. Clarity had a plan, she always had a plan, and he’s more than good enough to keep up. Finish this job, and that’d be it, folks would know - ZaZa is a legend in our time.

“I got it, Dad. I’m good. Your son’s the best in the business.” He gets up and heads to the fridge, grabbing one of the old man’s beers, “‘A job that pays too much.’ Tch, you mean a job that pays me what I’m worth. Listen to you, that’s why your ass still stuck in this musty house.”

“Musty - boy, sit down. I’ll still kick your ass with my good foot.”

“Easy, easy, don’t hurt yourself.”

“Kid coming over and interrupting my afternoon. Just watch the damn ballgame.”

#fhr #fallen hero: rebirth #gangbabies #ZaZa #scribbly

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writeinmysoul · 5 years

Text

Okay. Honestly. I wish I had a Jonathan Van Ness. Because I haven’t the slightest clue how to take care of my hair. And I’m so sick of it. I’ve been wearing my adorable Stitch hat all week cause it looks a mess. And idk what to do. I cut it all off a year ago cause I couldn’t take care of it properly. But even with really short hair, idkkkk how to take care of it.

I fucking hate having black people hair when I don’t know how to treat it right. How to prevent it from being super dry or rough. Idk what products to use. And despite my family being full of females, I don’t have anyone to help or teach me. I never had. Which is part of why I cut it off. But this is driving me insane. I don’t know what black hair products to use.

I was watching the Black Girls Magic episode. And I relate to everything she said so hard. Like, my whole life being told I’m not black enough. They told me I wasn’t black because of my music tastes, because of how bright skinned I was, because of how I talked. And to this day, I forget that I am actually black. I forget that other people know I am. Cause even in my family, yea it was mostly jokes, but it was so common and so often, that I forget that yea, it’s obvious I’m black until someone comments on it. And I hate saying “I’m black,” because I don’t feel like I belong in the black community cause I was never really apart of it, and even though white people in school would also joke and say I’m white because of my skin or my music, I didn’t really belong there. And I just, never fit anywhere.

And now on campus, every time someone mentions the fact that I’m black, especially another black person, it surprises me that they know. That they can tell. That they claim me because I’m so not used to it. Every single time. And I’m like, oh yea, I am. Wild. And I still don’t know much about even what it means to be black because even though I grew up in a family of black people, I was the lightest, my mother and brother were lightskin too, but I was the brightest. And all of my aunts and literally everyone else were darker skinned, so I got the brunt of all the white jokes. And no one stopped to ever actually teach me what it means to be black or how to take care of my fucking hair bro.

I’m so off topic right now. Anyway. I just wanna know how to take care of my hair. What products to use. How. When. How often. Why. How to keep it up. How to talk to a barber about what I want done since I’ve refused to go because I don’t know how to talk to one. So I’ve just been going to my old beautician. And she’s done fine, but it’s not the kinda of haircuts i need since she’s not an actual barber. I just want to know what to do cause this is wildly uncomfortable for me.

Like, I had a perm most of my life. Til I was in 10th grade and I was so tired of them, so I went natural. Which suckedddd cause I still didn’t know how to take care of my hair before then. Let alone after. And mother forced me into getting weave and braids the entire year. And I hateddd them sooo much. She didn’t know how to take care of or do hair either, so whenever we couldn’t afford to get it done, it was just stuck in a crappy ponytail cause once it was nappy, I would not comb through it myself because I’m way too tender headed. And my hair would never grow consistently cause we’d get it to grow a lot, then it wouldn’t get done the entire summer because money, and it’d be so broken off, I’d have to cut it again. And it was ridiculous. I just wanna know how to take care of my hair bro.

#queer eye #black girl magic #black girl hair #black hair #hair maintenance #what to dooooo

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nerdyqueerandfulloffear · 5 years

Text

Crimson: Chapter One

Warnings: Blood, abuse, unusual punishment

I hate how Jared has broken me. If the situation had happened before, I wouldn’t freeze like this. Like a coward. Footsteps break the thick silence. The light from the living room becomes blocked and I see the silhouette of a man with a knife, dripping blood. Jared’s blood. I whimper as the man gets closer. He sits on the edge of the bed and reaches out to grab me, but he doesn’t. No, he grabs the blankets, slowly dragging them down, exposing my bare chest.

“Poor puppy,” a deep voice says causing me to shudder, “are all these bruises from him?” He gently touched a purple bruise on my side, “He never treated you right now did he?” I started to cry. I don’t know if it’s because this man just killed the only person who would talk to me, cared about me, on campus. Or because everything he is saying is right.

“He treated you as something lesser, like some sort of toy he could play with? Then he hurt you when you refused didn’t he?” I hate it. I hate that he’s right. I denied it for so long but he’s right.

“There there puppy,” he wiped the tears from my check, “no need to cry. He can’t hurt you anymore.” The sentence ends with a jester to his knife. My tears slow down but don’t stop. I stare at the man as he wipes the blood off one side of the knife. He licks the blood of the finger before basically shoving it down his throat.

The finger was removed with a sickening pop. He turns his attention back to the knife. He wipes the other side of the knife with the same finger before placing it against my lips. I don’t move to do anything but instead, look at the man with wide pleading eyes. He removes the finger from my lips before licking it clean. I feel Jared’s blood against my lips. I hated the way Jared had started to treat over months, but I never realized how much I relied on him for protection.

“Come on puppy, it’s time for us to leave.” He gently pulls me out of bed. My body still hasn’t had time to unfreeze, I fall into the strange man’s chest. He wraps an arm around my waist, keeping me upright. I turn my head away from his stare to see my glasses Jared had put on his side of the bed. I reach my arm towards them, expecting to have it get smacked away like normal, but it doesn’t. Instead, the man grabs my glasses before gently putting them on me.

“There, all set puppy. Now we really need to get going. Can you walk pup?” Without thinking, I nod my head.

“Good, now be careful where you step, don’t want to cut your feet now do we?”

We slowly make our way into the living room. If his arm wasn’t holding me up, I would be flat on my face. I keep my gaze on the floor, avoiding the glass from the shattered coffee table. My attention is soon brought to the blood cover feet. I stop walking. Jared. My stomach turns.

“Look away pup, you don’t want to see. Look away.” He tries to pull me along but I can’t. My eyes travel up his body. His skin was a sickening pale. Much worse than the time he was in the hospital. Blood slowly oozes its way out of the cuts were pieces of glass shards stook out. Before I can make my way to his chest, my head is quickly buried into the crook of the man’s neck.

“You don’t have to look pup. You don’t want to look. You just can’t look away. I know.” We continue to walk through the living room. I whimper each time I feel myself step on a shard. When we get to the doorway, his hand leave the back of my head and I quickly look back into the apartment. I bite my lip, trying not to let the vomit escape my mouth.

I’m looking into Jared's eyes. When we first met, when we were in love, his eyes reminded me of grass peeking its way through the snow at the beginning of spring. I used to love his eyes. As time went on, and our relationship broke. His eyes slowly became poison. A deep sort of toxic that was controlling him, breaking what we had. But now they were different. They were empty and cold.

Only one though. The other had a glass shards in it, causing blood to trickle down his pale face. I wish I had control of my body. I would break free of this grip, run to Jared and see if there was a chance to save him. I would definitely be in for a beating, but at this point, I don't care. I just want to be in his arms, his hands going through my hair instead of being pressed against this stranger. I want my Jared back.

“I told you not to look pup,” the man says while his grip tightens. I whimper in pain and he gives a small chuckle.

“Sweet little puppy. Couldn’t help yourself now, could you? Now that you got that out of your system, we need to leave.” I don’t respond as he slowly walks me away from the apartment, closing the door in the process, leaving Jared behind us as we walk out of the complex.

———————————————————————————————————

I didn’t realize I fell asleep until I woke up in silk sheets. As I look down I see that my chest is no longer bare. No, instead it’s covered by a red and black ombré sweatshirt. My eyes go up and I look at my surroundings.

The walls were a cool gray on the top half and black on the bottom with a line of deep red separating them. The bed was a queen size with black sheets and red bedding. The bed post was simple with cedar wood. Next to the bed was a small side table that looks like a slice out of a wood trunk that had a plain lamp with a white shade on it contrasting to the dark color scheme of the wood.

I pulled my feet out of the sheets to see my feet were bandaged. The bottom of my feet had brown spots of dried blood from the glass cuts. I hiss as I put my weight on them when I stand up. My legs are slightly shaky, but my full control of them is mostly back.

I walk towards one of the two doors and slowly push it open. It was a bathroom. There are black tile floors which contrast with the white appliances. There was a decent size bathtub without a shower head above it. The toilet was bright white and looked like was cleaned quite often. The countertop for the sink was white marble with a simple, small mirror above it.

My appearance wasn’t the best. Red tear streaks went down my face. My eyes were still red from crying. My hair was thrown all over the place, which was typical bed head. It was much worse when my hair was longer. I had my down past my shoulders a long time ago. I would always through it into a messy bun before first period.

I also lost my long hair though. It was around the time I lost my Jared. He had started taking medication after he got out of the hospital and the withdrawal symptoms on the day he ran out were really bad. I still have a scar on my leg from it. But he cut my hair off that day. Once we got a refill and he calmed down, I was swarmed with apologies. And I forgave him. I always forgave him. Even when he didn’t deserve it. But I thought if I did, I might get the man I was in love with back. But I was stuck with the man that had possessed him.

My lips were another thing I noticed. Jared’s blood, now dried, was still on my lips. I grab the white hand towel and quickly wet it. I bend over the sink and start scrubbing my lips, trying to get the image of Jared’s dead body out of my head.

As I go to put the towel back, something catches my eye. A drawer under the sink is slightly open allowing the light through the tiny window to hit something metal, give the shine that hit my eye. I open the draw wider to find a pair of scissors, the type you would find in a barber shop or hair salon. I pick them up and examine them. There was little rust indication that they weren’t new, but other than that they looked in good condition.

An idea came to my head, causing me to quickly pocket the scissors. I walk out of the bathroom and open the second door. A hallway is what I was greeted with. With a had in my pocket, death gripping the scissors, I walk outside the room.

I make my way into the kitchen to see my kidnapper in front of a stove, stirring something in a pot. My eyes wander to the front door.

“Shit,” I mumble under my breath realizing that I had forgotten my glasses in the room. My vision wasn’t too bad, but the door was too far away to see how it was locked.

My mumble was apparently loud enough to gain his attention. The man turns around and smiles at me. The light may have been on in the apartment last night, but this was the first time I got a good look at him.

He had black hair that was long enough that some fell in front of his eyes with a deep, almost unnoticeable red tips. His eyes were a deep brown like a natural soil, not the ones you buy at the store. His nose was slightly skewed as if it had been broken before. He was not pale like Jared or me, but not tan either. He stood tall, maybe six foot or more. He had a smile that gave off fake sweetness.

“Puppy, it’s about time your up. I was just making something for us to eat. Come, sit.” The way he said the last words made it sound like he was talking to an actual dog. I warfully walk towards the kitchen island, which also was white marble, and sat down in one of the barstools.

“Do you like the sweatshirt pup? I wanted to make sure I had something that fit you.” I don’t respond, he sighs.

“Pup, I know you’re not mute, I heard you last night and just now. I want a verbal response when I ask you a question. I do understand why you didn’t speak last night and I’ll let it slide. Okay?” Remembering when Jared went through this phase I quickly respond with a quiet,

“Yes, sir.” His eyes widen at my response.

“Pup, please don’t call me sir. I’m not that old. My name’s Damien.” I grip the scissors tighter in my pocket as he moves closer until he’s next to me. He, unlike Jared yesterday, gently grabs my chin so our eyes meet.

“What about you pup? What’s your name?” My eyes dart to the door behind him, then back to his stare.

“Alex,” is all I say before removing the scissors from my pocket and stabbing him in his shoulder, causing his grip on me to loosen and a hiss to escape his lips. I escape his arms and run for the door. But I quickly come to a stop was the door become clear. Around ten different locks were on it, he would be able to get me before I had a chance to get the first five unlocked.

I turn back to see him staring at me with wide, almost black, eyes. He takes a step towards me. I bolt past him and into the room I woke up in, slamming the door behind me. I quickly grab the side table, the lamp falling off and bulb shattering in the process and put it in front of the door.

I push against the table attempt to make some sort of barricade with my limited supplies until I can think of a way out of here. My attempt fails and the door is pushed open, causing the table and me to fall down. More specifically, the table fell on top of me.

I look up in terror to see the ma- Damien looking down at me. Blood is falling out of the wound and some fall on to my face as he bends down and removes the table. I can feel myself start to freeze again, but I won’t let it happen. I scoot backward as he continues to walk towards me until I’m pushed into a corner.

He bends down and I quickly make an ‘x’ over my face with my arms in preparation of being hit. Instead, he moves my hands from my face but doesn’t release them.

“ I’m not going to hit you pup. I won’t ever hit you. I go by a simple rule. An eye for an eye. If you hurt me, you get punished,” I flinch at his words, “But if I hurt you, I get punished. Now does that sound fair?” I stare at him for a long time before nodding.

“Verbal responses pup.”

“Yes, Damien.” He sighs.

“We’ll work on that later. Now though, you need to listen to me.”

“Okay,” I whisper. He lets go of my hands.

“Now, remove the scissors.” I look at him before carefully wrapping my hand around them. He nods his head and I slowly start to pull the scissors out. He hisses in pain until they are completely removed. The blood flow speeds up and in the light, it has an almost white shine to it.

“Remember how I cleaned my knife yesterday? Well, I want you to copy that.” I whimper at the idea of having the terrible copper taste in my mouth.

“Come on pup, it's only fair. You did stab me.” I sigh in defeat before repeating what I saw last night. My finger slowly glides up the scissors until I reach the tip. I look to see my finger covered in the same shining liquid before giving it a small lick.

It tastes different than I expected. The copper taste isn't the first thing that hits me. Instead, I'm hit with a salty, bitter taste with the copper following after it. What's worse than the taste is the texture. It wasn't liquidly like it looked, no. It was warm and silky. I fight my stomach, trying to keep yesterday’s breakfast down.

“Licking it off wasn’t the only thing I did last night.” I grimace before slowly putting my finger in my mouth. He smiles and threads a hand through my hair, causing me to shudder as I start to suck the disgusting fluid off my finger.

Unlike Damien yesterday, when I removed the finger from my mouth it didn’t make the sickening pop, but instead, a trail of saliva connects my finger to my lips. He breaks the trail, wrapping my saliva around his finger, before licking his finger clean.

“There’s another side pup.” He says while wiping his finger clean on his pants. Using the same finger that was just in my mouth, I wipe the other side of the scissors until my fingers are covered in the same red. I bring my finger to his lips as he did to me yesterday. He smirks before putting my finger in his mouth.

If sucking on my own finger wasn’t weird enough, this was a different experience. I feel every vile movement he makes. Whether his tongue trailed its way over my finger, or when his cheeks hollowed, I felt every violating movement.

He removes my finger from his mouth and I’m quick to wipe it on my pajama bottoms.

“You did so good pup. You ready for the next part?” I whimper at the idea of this continuing on. But I nod my head.

“I’ll accept the non-verbal response for now pup, but next time no exceptions. Now, sit your finger in the wound.” I look at him with wide eyes.

“Are are you su sure?” I ask. He nods his head and smiles.

“I’m sure pup. Now go on, be a good puppy.” I sigh and gently put my finger on the blood gushing wound. With a shaky breath, I push my finger into the wound up to my distal interplanage joint. There’s probably a simpler name for it, but I can’t remember at the moment. He hisses in pain but doesn’t tell me to stop. When he stops hissing, I hear how shaky his breathing is.

“Good pup,” It’s almost like a whisper when he says it, “Now move your finger around a bit, but don’t go any deeper.” I can feel my heartbeat rise as do what I’m told. I start off slowly pushing my finger back and forth, the motion causing the wound to bleed fast, covering my hand in it.

“You’re a good pup. So good for me.” I shudder at the praise as the image of the worst night of my life comes into my head.

‘ “You’re so good at that princess. So good for me. Such a good little pet.” ‘ I start to cry from the memory. I had almost forgotten about it until now. Jared had been there to save me before things get worse and I just want that to happen again.

“It’s okay pup no need to cry, it’s almost over.” He says while wiping the tears off my cheeks.

‘ “Don’t cry princess, it’s almost over. Then we can get onto the fun part.” He licks the tears off my cheeks.’ I wanted Jared to burst through the door and pull me away from him. I want Jared to kiss my forehead and tell me that I’m safe. I want Jared.

“Can you hear me pup? I need you to breathe.” I didn’t realize I was having an attack until now. I start trying to steady my breathing as he treads a hand through my hair. When he did it before it felt wrong, but now it was almost comforting.

My breathing patterns slowly became normal as his hand left my hair.

“It’s okay, Alex.” It’s the first time he has used my real name, “Can we continue? I know you want this over with as soon a possible and I’m fine with that.”

“I I think I think so.” I stutter out. He smiles with that fake sweetness again.

“Good. Now remove your hand,” I do so to see that it’s almost fully covered in his blood, “and replace it with your tongue.” My eyes widen with shock.

“Wh what?” I ask in disbelief. He moves his shirt down so the wound was easy to get to, also exposing blood stained skin in the process.

“I want you to clean the wound the same way you cleaned your finger. Do that and we can be done with this.” Is this man insane?

“What, what if I refuse to?” His expression goes dark.

“You don’t want to find out. Now go on.” I can feel my whole body shake, but I do as he says.

I gently start by placing my lips on the wound. I open my mouth to do the first lick but was met with the wound gushing blood at the same time. I’m quick to close my lips after that, swallowing fast so I don’t have to deal with the texture or too much of the taste.

“Try starting lower pup, so you don’t get a mouthful again.” He says. I move lower so I’m near his collarbone to start. I grudgingly start to lap at the blood, slowly making my way back up to the open wound itself. My face feels covered in blood but is washed away with my tears. As my tongue glides over the wound itself, I hear him hiss in pain.

I pull away from his body and look him with pleading eyes. He leans towards me and runs his tongue over my blood stained lips, not trying to force his way inside my mouth, but more as a cleaning manner.

He pulls away and stands up, taking a few steps back. I didn’t realize I was leaning against him until I collapse to the ground, covered in blood, tears, and a mix of both mine and his saliva. I wrap an arm around myself and start to sob. I shouldn’t have said anything yesterday. Maybe Jared would still be alive, holding me as he starts to wake up. Or maybe we both be dead. Either option would be better than this.

He walks out of the room as I turn so my face is to the wall as if it was my protection. I hear his footsteps as he enters the kitchen, then the sound of water running. He’s probably cleaning the wound, leaving me here covered in his blood. I should go clean up myself, but I don’t have the strength to get up. I’m drained emotionally.

The water stops and I hear cabinets open before closing. He's probably looking for a first aid kit. The sound of a fridge opening confuses me. What does he need in a fridge? Silence takes over as my sobs dies down.

I hear footsteps come become louder before there’s a shadow above me. I turn my head to see him place a tray on the ground. On the tray is a bowl, a facecloth, and a water bottle.

“Wash up pup, then we can have lunch,” Damien said. I turn completely around and scoot towards the tray. I reach towards the face cloth to find it’s already wet. I quickly wipe my hand before going to wipe the blood and tears off my face.

I put the face cloth down once I found my face clean enough for now. I grab the water bottle and start to clean out my mouth. I spit the water in the bowl, feeling the awful taste slowly leave my mouth with each mouthful of water.

Once the water bottle is empty, the taste is still there, but mostly gone. The salty and bitter taste is gone, but the copper is still there. I look up to see Damien looking down at me.

“You all set pup?” I sigh and nod. I still feel absolutely disgusting, but I'm clean enough for now. He reaches a hand out to me and I hesitate for a moment before taking it. He walks me into the kitchen by the hand and leads me to the same seat I was at before I stabbed him. He squeezes my hand before releasing it as I sit down. I’m quick to wrap my arms around myself, using them as some sort of fake protection.

“I hope spaghetti is fine. If not I can make you something else.” I stare at the floor and hug myself tighter.

“It’s fine,” I mumble into the sweatshirt. He sighs and I hear what I believe to be the stove turning off.

“Look,” I tear my eyes away from the floor to see him draining the steaming water from the pot, “I know we got off to a bad start-” I roll my eyes “-but I want you to know I have no intention of hurting you, in any way.” I sigh before making direct contact with his eyes for the first time.

They way he’s looking at me wasn’t like when Jared would lie to me. It’s a strange mixture of searching and, fear. His eyes show old age that contrast with his young form. His eyes are heavy and sunken. The bags underneath were quite clear, as if he hadn’t gotten a decent night sleep in months.

I’m the one to break the eye contact and the heavy silence.

“Would,” I sigh and hug myself tighter, “Would you be mad if I said I don’t believe you?” I meet his eyes again, but only for a moment as he turns back to the spaghetti. His eyes showed something close to disappointment.

“It’s okay.” He puts a plate of spaghetti in front of me before going to a small pot on the stove. “I gave you a bad impression of me, I understand why you’re wary of me.” He turns around with the small pot in his hands, turning it slightly to expose the red inside.

“Sauce?” I nod. He opens a drawer and grabs a fork and a spoon before walking so he stood next to me. I move over ever so slightly. He puts the fork by the plate before moving the pot so it’s above my plate. The sauce seems thinner than usual, covering the pasta more like a salad dressing than anything. I shake any speculation away, it could just be the brand.

He moves back towards the stove and I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. He reaches above the stove and opens the cupboard to grab two wine glasses. He places one in front of me and one on the other side.

“I-I do-don’t drink,” I say as he grabs a wine bottle out of the fridge. He ignores my comment and starts pouring me a glass.

“It’s not that strong. Come on now, eat.” He starts to pour himself a glass. I sigh in defeat before picking up my fork. He put his plate next to me before sitting down and eating himself. The copper taste is still in my mouth as I eat, but I try to ignore it.

I give a sigh once my plate is half empty. The copper taste just won’t go away. I pick up the wine glass and swirl it around a bit. If it gets rid of the copper taste in my mouth so be it.

...

It did not work

Tags: @punttonsanders @tributes-vamps-and-ginnyweasley @chrystalyasama

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cecilspeaks · 7 years

Text

Episode 104 - The Hierarchy of Angels

I know you are, but what am I? What am I? What am I?

What. Am. I?

Welcome to Night Vale.

I should start today with something happy. In his speech yesterday honoring the life of Old Woman Josie, Larry Leroy out on the edge of town, and Josie’s closest neighbor, told a story about his pickup breaking down a few years ago. Josie had stopped on the roadside to help him push the old Chevy the mile or so to his house. In the last few hundred feet, the truck picked up momentum on the sloped road, and it rolled out of their control into a large cactus. They heard a surprised yelp, and saw Telly the Barber wide-eyed and sweating, holding a pair of shears. Josie and Larry laughed and laughed. Even the surprised Telly laughed. Larry then asked Telly why he was cutting that cactus’ hair. Telly gulped and ran away, still laughing and sweating profusely.

Larry told the gathered mourners that he didn’t have many friends in town, but Old Woman Josie was always kind to him. Always a smile, always happy to help. Always good for a giggle when she caught Telly giving cacti haircuts.

The services were beautiful, you know that. You were all there. We were all there. I know I said gathered mourners but in a way, we were gathered celebrants, extolling the great life of a great woman, now gone. Today is the scattering of her ashes and the city is working to fulfil Josie’s wishes. They are joined in this endeavour by several beings claiming to be angels. The city is trying to ignore the angels’ request to help because it is illegal to acknowledge the existence of angels, so… we’ll see how this goes.

The dozens of five-headed dragons, who came to our world after the botched, yet partially successful execution of fellow dragon Hiram McDaniels, are still in town. Hiram’s sister, Hadassah, had promised vengeance for the wrongful murder of Hiram’s violet head. But after several weeks of setting fire to local businesses, and devouring a few of the more muscular human citizens, the dragons have gone mostly silent. Their aggression’s now limited to some blatant jaywalking and loitering. There has been one report of an unidentified five-headed dragon hurling a crumpled Fresca can basketball-style at a trash bin, missing the trash bin wildly, and then picking the soda can up and gently tossing it into the bin, only to have it clumsily fall out and back onto the ground. Onlookers were shocked to see that the dragon did not even attempt a third put-back, and the can is still lying on the ground this very moment. The can is still. On the ground. Mayor Cardinal has called on the Sheriff for stricter enforcement of minor offenses, so they do not escalate into more sinister crimes. Plus, she added, if we do not clean litter from our curbs, the street cleaners might show up, and we simply cannot afford the loss of innocent lives that would cause. More on this as it develops.

Josie’s daughter Alondra Ortiz, who came to town last year to be with her ailing mother until Josie passed away, is now sorting through Josie’s estate and documents. Alondra said she found no will in Josie’s files, only a piece of paper that said: “It all belongs to the angels.” But Alondra noted the handwriting was written shakily in thick Magic Marker, and every word but “it” and “the” was misspelled. She believes the beings who claim to be angels wrote this, not her mother. The angels responded, “nuh-uh”, and then nervously wiped their brows with clearly ink-stained hands. Alondra hired in an estate lawyer to help sort out liquidation of her mother’s assets. Alondra said she just wants to be done with all this and go back home. When asked where home was, Alondra responded, “I don’t remember. Why can’t I remember? That’s not important, I mean it’s super-important but not to this discussion. Oh god, what is wrong with me, with this town?” A single-engine plane then flew across the horizon behind her, trailing a banner that read, “Ooooh! I found some teeth!”

Listeners, some of you have asked about our intern, Kareem. He’s been at the station for so long, about 16 months, much longer than any other intern in recent memory. Well, I’m sorry to report he’s no longer with us. He was a good intern and he will be missed. Kareem changed majors from communications to Earth sciences and no longer needs this radio internship. He is taking classes with Professor Simone Rigideau at Night Vale Community College. Simone is not actually employed by NVCC, and in one of Kareem’s last journalistic endeavours here at the station, he even found a copy of her death certificate, dated 1983, although she does not show any signs of being a ghost. But apparently her knowledge of Earth sciences intrigued Kareem enough that he wanted to change career trajectories. Kareem told me on his last day, which was today, like five minutes before I started my broadcast is when I find out about this. He told me Simone knows what happened to Night Vale, why Kareem’s family doesn’t know him anymore, and why he can’t find Mitchigan, or whatever is home state is, on a map. I’m just happy Kareem is pursuing his dreams, even if he’s gonna lose alll those journalism credits! And today’s filing will have to be done by an overworked radio host before he gets to go home to his husband. Gonna be a looong path to that degree, Kareem! I’m sure you’ll do great.

Listeners, I’d like to caution you away from driving near downtown. Road crews have shut down all streets in all directions, as a construction team is building a series of elaborate rollercoasters and amusement park rides, many of which do dives and loops around, under, and through the surrounding buildings and even roads. It’s complete gridlock all over downtown, with cars unable to drive into or out of the jam. On the plus side, there’s a pretty cool looking Aquaman ride that does a double-twisting loop through a large pool of water that is elevated more than 50 feet off the ground. Mayor Cardinal is on the scene arguing with the construction team about their lack of development permits. The construction crew, who are all tall glowing beings with wings, showed the Mayor a piece of paper that said, “This is all totally fine, Josie said we can build this, OK? Signed, City”, written in a Magic Marker and nearly every word misspelled.

Allondra Ortiz’ lawyer, Emilio Tavarez, filed an injunction to halt the work, saying that the funds used toward the construction of these rollercoasters were part of Josie’s estate, and were being misappropriated by the so-called angels. There is no documentation showing Josie wished her money to be spent this way, Tavarez explained. The construction team then mumbled, “A dummy says what?” And Tavarez said, “What?” and they all laughed, including the Mayor who then added, “Yeah but yeah seriously, you need building permits, even if you are fulfilling the elaborate wishes of the deceased.” We’ll have more on this soon, but first, a quick break.

Hi, this is Cecil. Leave a message!

Steve Carlsberg: Hello, Cecil? It’s Steve. OK, I’m not sure if you’re there or not. Last few times I called, you said to leave a message at the tone, and then halfway into my message you interrupted me and said, [Cecil impersonation] “Ha ha, Steve. You fell for it again.” So I’m just making sure you’re actually there this time. I have something I wanted to tell you so you could report it on your show. Are you there, Cecil? I don’t wanna fall for your trick again.

OK. Well. I was getting some coffee over at the Spiky Hammer, and I held the door for this woman I didn’t recognize. She just stared at me, didn’t say thank you or anything. I mean, I don’t hold doors for approval, it’s just a nice thing to do, but she efforted to not thank me, you know? And then when I stood in line, she stood right next to me, her face just inches from mine, staring at me. I tried not to look, it’s not nice to stare. She didn’t say anything for the longest time, but right as I placed my order, a large crab legs macchiato with (quad shot) and whipped cream, she started whispering loudly in my ear! I couldn’t understand what she was saying, and it made it difficult to talk to the barista. And then, when I turned to ask her politely if she wanted me to get her something, she was gone. Oh I wish I could remember what the woman said. Oh gosh. It was something like, hmmmmmmmmmm..

[voice distorts] The Woman from Italy has come back to town. Nothing can stop her from tearing it down! She lives for your screams, makes meals of your tears. She revels in chaos and deals in your fears.

We all huddle and hide from the pain yet to come, huddled hidden with loved ones, perhaps she’ll spare some.

She brings the torture, the trouble, the stress, so can you order for her a double espresso?

[normal voice] Well I don’t remember what she said. If I think of it, I’ll call you back. Anyway, sorry I missed you Cecil!

Cecil: I’m here, Steve! You totally fell for it.

Steve: Oh, oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho, you got me!

Cecil: Basic stuff, Steve.

Steve: Sure is! Wow, you got me good! [chuckles]

Cecil: I tease you because I love you, Steve.

Steve: Aww, Cecil. I love you too, big brother!

Cecil: Just kidding, I’m not here! Please leave your message after the tone. [beep]

Steve: Hello? Cecil, I’m not sure what just happened. I guess I’ll try again later.

Sorry of the interruption. Oh, looks like I got a voicemail. Oh, it’s from Steve Carlsberg. Well, never mind, there’s breaking news right now.

Stay far away from downtown, listeners. The traffic jam caused by the halted construction project is in great danger. The cars are honking noisily, people are abandoning their vehicles, but the Sheriff is asking everyone to seek immediate shelter. Several dragons are converging on the scene. The dragons have everyone in the congested area completely surrounded. They are walking – no, stomping toward the helpless citizens trapped in traffic. Night Vale, do not go out on the roads. The dragons have us exactly where they want us. What a disastrous trap! Be safe.

And as I try to find out more on what’s happening in downtown, please hear this important weather report.

[“Qualified” by Sammus feat. Open Mike Eagle, sammusmusic.bandcamp.com]

Here is the secret hierarchy of angels.

Deceased humans can become angels, but few humans do. Angels are immortal beings, but not all of them are former human souls. Some are animals, some plants. Some outdated electronics.

They are all named Erika with a K. All angels are equal to all other angels. They share all memories and all physical sensations. They experience everything simultaneously. Their minds are overwhelmed with enlightenment and pain.

They have no centralized leadership, but they do have committees, lots of committees. These committees do not have titles nor objectives. The committees simply emerge as needed.

Angels are wealthy, but do not understand currency. They will often ask to borrow 10 bucks.

Angels have no bodies, only visual projections of winged, barely humanoid forms. These forms are dreamed up by those who see and acknowledge them, and may vary based on the viewer.

The secret hierarchy of angels is an ethereal mass of feelings and thoughts made manifest by necessity. They’re only individual beings because we imagine them so, but they are collectively beings.

It is illegal to speak of or acknowledge in any way the secret hierarchy of angels. But. I. will. Acknowledge it. here, on the radio. I’m an objective journalist, which does not mean I have no morals or opinions, just that I can be self-aware of my biases and emotions, yet still report a story transparently to you. You may not agree with my point of view, but I will do. My. Best. To give you the information you need to decide that on your own.

In the case of the angels, I acknowledge them. I see them! And because Josie always said such, I too believe that they are real beings, and are entitled to Josie’s estate. So does five-headed dragon Miriam Adelman. She’s a lawyer, and the angels hired her to represent their case for management of Josie’s will.

Oh, the dragons did not do any harm to those in traffic today. They were simply the legal team coming to help facilitate Josie’s final wish, which was to build a Night Vale sculpture garden, complete with the usual rollercoasters and tilt-a-whirls, and an enormous ferris wheel.

Josie wanted to have her ashes scattered underneath (Jacobo Manzu’s) [0:22:17] famous sculpture, “Top Thrill Dragster”, which is a 400-foot drop and reaches over 120 miles per hour. Adelman and her legal team managed to push through the sculpture garden construction, which is now complete, and Josie’s ashes have finally been honored in the way she wanted. Alondra ceded this ground because she understood how important this town was to Josie. But she added, “My mother’s home, her belongings, her money, her legacy – these are all I have of my family. I have no siblings, no cousins, and no parents. I am the only Ortiz left. I do not know or understand Night Vale,” Alondra said. “I do not believe in angels, nor dragons for that matter, I just want what is left of my mother’s memory, and then I want to go home, wherever that is.” The city has declined to hear further arguments about estate ownership from Adelman or her angel clients, as the dragons are not licensed to practice law anywhere on this Earth, and their clients, the angels, don’t legally exist.

The secret hierarchy of angels is a cloud of knowledge, formed from the collected experiences of the deceased. Josie might be among them now, or she might know. All I know is that Josie loved Night Vale and we loved her.

I am going to go to the sculpture garden today to pay my respects. Carlos and I will hold hands and lay flowers at the ash-strewn base of (Manzu’s) towering masterpiece of contemporary sculpture. And then, we will purchase a souvenir photo of ourselves screaming in joy and sorrow, while engaged in a 120-mile per hour freefall, demonstrating our fervent arts adovacy, exactly as Josie would have wanted.

I hope all of you will join me in honoring not only the life of Josefina Ortiz, but the lives of the angels who loved her too.

Stay tuned next for hosts Josh and Chuck and their wildly popular show, “Stuff You Shouldn’t Know”, which as usual will be an unbroken reduction beep for 30 straight minutes. No one has ever heard Josh or Chuck speak.

And as always, good night, Night Vale.

Josie was beautiful and angels are real!

Good night.

#welcome to night vale #wtnv transcripts #episode 104 #the hierarchy of angels

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