yeah ahah me too…

The best of friends

Peter Parker x Stark! reader

A/n: Hello! So this time the reader is going to be black! If y’all wanna like...request for a reader to be an ethnicity or race you can, I’ll do my best to write for it 💕

Summary: Peter Parker is your best friend. In fact he’s one of your only friends. So it’s needless to say things get a little complicated when you fall in love with him and he’s in love with another girl. 

Warning ⚠️: Oblivious Peter, sad reader, love triangles

This fic was inspired by @cherrytholland and their silence series, YALL need to check it out!

You never had many friends. It’s alway been that way, ever since you remembered. 

Being a Stark meant that you were constantly in danger, especially after your dad became Iron Man. So you were homeschooled. It was pretty easy, ever since the Avengers moved in, Bruce and Tony took turns teaching you everything you needed to know. So there was no need for you to go to school.

But you were lonely. Yes, you were surrounded by the team, but they were all so much older than you. Wanda and Pietro were the only ones closest to your age not only were they still way older than you, they hated your dad for a long time so there was a small tension there. 

You spent time with your dad, hell he was your best friend, but a girl can only spend so much time with her father. Bruce was too scared to hang out with you. Steve treated you like a toddler. Sam and Bucky were fun to be with but then Steve will join and then they all act as if you’re a baby. Natasha is great to go to for advice but she rarely had time to talk with you, Clint was a whole father. And Thor, he was hardly on earth. 

That's when Peter Parker came into your life. He was the first person on the team who was your age. You and he quickly became friends, bonding over your shared interests in Star Wars and being the youngest in the Avengers HQ. 

When you first met him, you were really shy. As said before, you rarely had the chance to talk to anyone your age. If you did, it was most likely the child of another business owner at some fancy party. So becoming friends with Peter was definitely an experience. You remember the day you two became friends.

**Flashback**

You really weren’t expecting to meet Peter. Hell, you didn’t even know that he was supposed to be coming over. So,when you walked into the common room, wearing someone else’s tee shirt and a bonnet, you were shocked to see a boy next to your dad staring at you.

“Oh, Y/n! I may have forgotten to mention I was showing Peter around...” Tony said as he noticed you were sort of unprepared for a visitor.

“ yeah that would have been good to know” you say glaring at your father.

“Well then, Peter this is my daughter Y/n, Y/n this is Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man”

“H-hi! It’s nice to meet you!” Peter stuttered as he put out his hand. You smiled shyly as you took it

“It’s nice to meet you too” you said quietly, taking your hand back and looking at the floor. An awkward silence fell upon you three. Then Tony cleared his throat

“I’m gonna ignore that little awkward thing. Y/n!” He looks at you with a gleam in his eye, “Maybe you can show the kid around, it would be nice if you knew someone your age.”

“DAD!” You shout, embarrassed he basically set you up on a play date, “ I talk people my own age!”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, “ Talking to those Gothamites during galas doesn’t count.”

“We follow each other on Instagram!”

“Wow, that’s the pinnacle of friendship.” Tony replied sarcastically, “ show the kid around.” 

You sigh as you turn to Peter, who was standing a few feet away awkwardly listening to you and your dad squabble.

“ Alright web head, let’s go”

He looks at Tony, slightly fearful. But Tony only smiles and says, “ Aw a nickname, see Peter she does like you.” Then walks away, leaving you two alone.

Flashback ends ****

Who knew that from that awkward interaction, a beautiful friendship would blossom??

From then on, you and Peter were practically attached by the hip. Every day after patrol, Peter would come over and hang out with you. Whether you’re watching movies, playing video games, or cranking the other Avengers, you and Peter could always be found together. He truly became your one best friend.

Until it became more.

The light hugs he’d give you when he first saw you started to linger, you both sat closer when you were watching movies (practically cuddling), he’d fall asleep on you lap when you stroked his hair.

All this but you both still held on to the notion that you just friends. Well, Peter did.

You were really unexperienced when it came to stuff like this.  This was the first time you ever had a friend, let alone have a crush. It was easier for you to ignore these intimate moments and cling onto the idea that it was just platonic. And you did, up until your dad had the wonderful idea to invite Peters class on a tour of the Tower.

At first you really didn’t have an opinion.

If anything, you were indifferent to the idea of your home being swarmed by teenagers. It didn’t help that Steve convinced your dad that you should be present during the tour. Claiming that “ it’d be good for her to meet more kids her age instead of just Peter.”

Honestly, you had other friends! They just lived in a different city and you rarely talked.

But there you were, standing beside Bucky as your dad went on about the compound and all the nerdy science stuff. You weren’t really paying attention, you had some AirPods in. It wasn’t until Bucky nudged you when you realized that your dad was calling you.

“ Come on up kiddo” he said giving you that Dad™️ stare.

You grin at him, then glare at Bucky as he snickers into his shoulder. You make your way up to where your dad is in the front of the crowd.

“ What am I supposed to be doing” you whisper to your dad. He rolls his eyes and whispers back “ Introduction and answer some questions”

You gulp, you were always good at public speaking . You were a Stark, of course you were. But introducing yourself to your fathers business partners and introducing yourself to your peers was two different things. You eyed the crowd trying to find Peter, you found him next to a chubby boy with an awestruck look on his face and a rather pretty girl who looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here. When you made eye contact with him, he smiled and threw you a thumbs up.

That simple gesture give you all the confidence you needed to introduce yourself

“ Hi, I’m Y/n Stark. I’m seventeen years old and I live here with my dad and the team. Obviously” you say, a slight smile on your face. “ I guess I have to answer questions. But I’m not sure cause I wasn’t paying attention”

The group laughs and a few hands raise, the questions are basic “ what’s it like living with avengers?” “ Where do you go to school?” “Are you single?” Etc etc. After answering, the rest of the team introduced themselves and then split the kids into groups for the tour. You looked for the group Peter was in, finally finding him in Sam and Bucky group. You sneak away from your fathers side and skip up behind the duo. You watch them bicker over where to take their group.

“ What about the gym ?” You say, startling the two men.

“Jesus!!” “Shit!!”

You laugh, watching them dramatically clench their chest. “You’d think as highly trained soldiers you’d be more aware of your surroundings.”

“ haha.” Sam says, “ just for that you’re not allowed to be part of our group”

“ I’ll just find a way to sneak in.” You say with a grin. They roll their eyes and lead the group to the gym. You stay in place as you wait for Peter to walk by. As he does you saddle up next to him.

“Hey web slinger” you whisper in his ear. He jumps at your voice.

“Y/n??!” His voice cracks, “ don’t do that!!”

“Aw come on Pete!” You laugh, “ don’t be such a wuss!”

Then the boy next to him turns, The awestruck look back on his face

“ Your..your Y/n Stark ” he says wide eyed. You smile shyly as you turn to him, remembering where you were.

“ hi, you must be Ned. Peters told me a lot about you” you say in a low voice.

“ Peter talks to you about me” he says in a surprised voice.

“Yeah! It’s really awesome to finally meet you.” 

“ Are you two coming?” Another voice chimes in. You turn to see the pretty girl with a bored expression.

“ Oh, hey” she says noticing you, “ I’m Michelle Jones, but just call me MJ”

“Y/n Stark” you say with a smile. She nods at you and then turns to Peter and Ned.

“ Come on you two, Liz is asking where you are”

“ Liz is asking about me??” Peter says, his face turning red, “ what did she say? Did she mention my name?!”

You watch him in confusion. He never acted like this except when Natasha called him handsome that one time. Then again, if Natasha called you pretty you’d freak out as well.

MJ rolls her eyes and ignored his questions, “ So you live here?” She asks you. Her question startled you as you weren’t expecting to be talked to.

“ Ye-yeah. I’ve been with my dad since I was about two.” You stuttered.

“That’s cool!! What about your mom?” Ned asks.

You smile sadly, “ I don’t know, she’s not around much.” Sensing your sadness, Peter wrapped in arm around you.

“ Cone on guys, quit it with the questions.”

Ned looks at you apologetic and Mj looks away. Then a pretty girl walks up to your group.

“ There you are. Come on you guys, you’re not supposed to split from the group.”

Peter pulls his arm back immediately at her presence. His eyes glaze over as he looks at her with a gaze you can only describe as dreamy.

“He-hey!! Sorry Liz, guess we lost track of time..heh” He rubs the back of his neck as his face turns red. His body tensed up in anxiety but at the same time is slouched. He has a goofy grin that you’ve never ever seen before.

Seeing Peter act so differently around this girl made you feel weird. Your hands were sweaty and your chest filled with anxiety. You felt cold and hit at the same time. There was a sick feeling in your stomach.

“Are you okay?” Mj asked looking at you in concerned.

You were frowning. Ned looked at you with wide eyes “ I’m sorry about mentioning your mom! I really didn’t mean to upset you.” 

You turn to him and smile at his concern for you. “ Don’t worry about it, you didn’t know” you frown again looking at Peter walking with Liz, “ Soo, who’s that?”

“ Oh that’s Liz Allen. Peters been in love with her since like freshman year”

Your heart drops and that sick feelings return. “ Oh really?”

“Yeah, I am surprised you don’t know who that is Peter hasn’t stopped yapping about hersince freshman year.” MJ says rolling her eyes.

“ Peters never mentioned her. Just Ned and you.” You say. MJ hums at that.

“ Thats funny, Peter doesn’t talk about his internship too much. we didn’t even know you two were friends until today.”

Well, if you weren’t hurt before, now you were in absolute pain.

“Oh..really?” You ask, “ it’s probably because I hardly leave the HQ. Peter is the first friend I have here in the city.” You tried to reason, but you didn’t even convince yourself.

Ned and MJ look at you in shock, but before they can say anything Peter comes back to the group.

“ Hey guys! Liz just agreed to hangout with us this weekend!” He says to Ned and MJ, his back turned to you. You’re shocked because you were supposed to go shopping with Peter this weekend.

“ Since when were we hanging out this weekend??”  Mj asks confused with the sudden plans.

“ well...Liz was supposed to go shopping with her friends but they have plans this weekend, and she was really bummed out about it so I said she can hang out with us...” he says quickly.

“ but I thought we were going shopping..” you finally say. Peter jumps and looks at you as if he’s realizing you were there.

“ Oh crap! Y/n I’m so sorry! I completely got caught up with everything!” He apologizes, “ Hey! Why don’t you come with us! You can get to know Ned and MJ some more, and Mr. Stark and Cap will get off your back about talking to people your age”

“ That sound fun!” Ned exclaimed

“ I guess I have nothing better to do” Mj says

You want to decline at first, upset that he forgot about the plans he made with you and you didn’t really want to see him flirt with Liz. But he was looking at you with those brown eyes you love, so you couldn’t say no.

“ sure, I can’t wait..”

You smile weakly. Already dreading the upcoming weekend.

Fazbear Frights: What We Found Analysis

Here’s my analysis for What We Found, the third story in Gumdrop Angel. I wrote this as I read so it may be a little different than my previous analysis where I read the story first and went back.

If you’re a Michael Afton fan I highly recommend this. Also, there’s possibly some insight into William Afton, Mrs. Afton, and Henry too, so it’s worth a skim.

Pg 144 '...a place thirty-some years forgotten' Just reconfirming FNAF 3 is 30 years past *one* of the FNAF closings, presumably FNAF 2 location.

Pg 145 "The whole building was giving him [Hudson] a headache." FIX THE VENTILATION BRUH

Pg 148 '...they were able to use salvaged derelict equiptment original to the old pizzerias.' Another confirmation of something we heard from Phone Guy.

Pg 147 "How old are you?" "Twenty-three, same as you." I think this gives us Michael's age during FNAF 3.

EDIT: This kept me awake last night. Obviously this is impossible because he has to be alive for at least 10 years before 1983, BUT maybe its just reconfirming FNAF 3′s year? 2023?

Pg 149 "Hudsan's dad died and his mom married Lewis, a ridiculous balding man who wore plaid vests and smoked a pipe" Did... Did this book just seriously imply Mrs. Afton left William for Henry? Really? (Yes, there's differences; the husband is dead and the man wears plaid 'vests' but it seems very odd to include that detail. This could just have been the writer's own imagination, though.) I have seen this as a fan theory and 100% explains the jealousy aspect of William, but I can't help but kinda hate it. I think this is very important, though, and probably Scott's intention. "This horrible little man [Lewis]... would make Hudson's next ten years a living Hell" This REALLY intrigues me given the context I just went over. The text implies Lewis was fairly neglectful to our main character / Michael stand-in Hudson. Maybe I'm wrong and for some reason Mrs. Emily left and went to William? XD Haha, I'm reading too much into this page. Maybe I'll come back to this later. I figure it's more of Scott possibly including double-details (contradicting stuff with the same character that really applies to two, which has been something I heavily pointed out in previous anaylsis on this blog) Having said that, I'm going w/the former because I can't imagine Henry being abusive (neglectful yes, abusive no) and he's never been portrayed that way in official works like William has in the novels.

Pg 150 "Hudson began to screw up in class...a product of spending the night in fear that his stepfather [Lewis]... [would] beat him just for the fun of it." Ooof. Big confirm on William actually being abusive. Unless we stick with the Henry theory for Lewis (combined with Midnight Motorist Henry theory / alcoholic). "...near-daily beatings..." "his mom started taking pills to get through the day..." So, whoever Mrs. Afton is, she was definetly not paying attention. But then, most people married to serial killers either don't notice because of denial (like this) or because the killer is so manipulative / careful they can't notice.

"Barry, who had red hair and freckles..." Yo?! Is that a description of Fritz?! These friends in the story could be the other kids Michael knew's stand-in's, aka the two gravestones with names he used (Fritz and Jeremy), as shown in the checks for the games and FNAF 6. I've long figured Michael was probably friends with the victims--it makes them easier, although riskier, targets [for William]. The two friends are male, too, like Fritz and Jeremy. If you're curious about Duane's description (our stand in for Jeremy), it's "tight black shirt... muscles... black hair long enough for a glossy ponytail..." I'm not sure if this matches anything found in the novels or contradicts them, though. (The novels = TSE trilogy)

"And so it went... until the night of the fire." For context, this is before FF burns down. We're learning of Hudson's life from his close friends in childhood, his father's death, his mother remarrying, to his abusive stepfather, to his grades slipping to this line. This would be a new fire not seen/mentioned in the games...

Pg 151 "...go to Charlie's for a sundae..." Really. Really Scott. Just gonna use this name again. OK. I'm not even gonna discuss this because it's probably irrelevant. *This is confirmed on pg 158 to be an ice cream shop. No lore relevance aside the annoying name coincidences Scott loves to troll with.

"This is not... an advance into enemy territory, a fight with demons, or a descent into Hell..." Uh, what? What is Hudson talking about? XD I'm only noting it because it seems so out of place. He's probably talking about video games or something.

Another note, although I don't have a specific reference since it is mentioned off-hand many times, is that Hudson keeps referring to his "history" which is implied to have kept him from getting a well-paying job and a girl he's crushing on doesn't know this "history" which is good for him. Seems good old "Michael Stand-In" has done some jail time or something. Edit: On pg 154/155 the girl asks Hudson, "Did you do it?" Seems he may have killed his stepfather or been involved with something else just as bad. Edit 2: No, I was thinking too deep into it. This probably refers to Evan's death at Fredbear's. DUH.

Pg 156 describes an actual "prize corner" in FF! What am I even reading? IIRC this is in FNAF 3, too. So they just hand out these scary gift boxes to people that complete the attraction? (Hudson says he *would* have fun handing out the scary toys to kids when this location opens--kind of a bully thing to do, eh?)

"[Hudson] avoid[ed] glancing in any of the mirrors..." I'm only pointing this out because it could be reference to one of two things. 1) We know because of one of UCN's music tracks, William has a fear of his reflection. Michael probably shares this trait, especially since 2) after Ennard and all... and later on pg 157 it also says, "he never wanted to face: himself" Sounds like guilt, my guy.

Pg 157 "blonde hair... blue eyes..." Hudson shares an eye color with Michael. It's possible Michael had blonde hair as a child and it changed to brown (it's common, something I personally went through being technically blonde/ blue eyed myself)

"He [Hudson] knew from personal experience that toys could turn from fun...to torture ina heart-beat" Fairly self explanatory. Either Hudson's worked at a creepy location before or he doesn't like remembering Fredbear's.

*checks how much is left.* There's still 35 pages (not counting back/front) left of this... This is gonna be a lot of notes.

Pg 158 Hudson doesn't have a car. Poor Mike, probably having to walk everywhere. Especially as a corpse.

Pg 160 This page describes many physical issues Hudson has that prevents him from entering the Navy, all from the abuse of Lewis. Obvious paralell to Michael becoming an undead [because his father sent him to CBPR indirectly causing his condition]

Pg 161 "How's your granny, Hud?... ...Is she still alive?" "I don't think she can die." Does anyone in the Afton family really 'die'? XD

Pg 162 These few pages discuss Hudson's grandmother. She's described as "a seer who claimed to know the future... ...wore big men's plaid flannel shirts with baggy jeans" Um, more plaid / flannel? AGH. STAHP. Lowkey, I would totally headcanon my Aunt Jen like this, though.

Pg 163 "Hudson's mom... the way she was before Hudson's dad had died... never... particularly warm and fuzzy... but... effiencient and responsible..." More about Mrs. Afton, so that's kinda neat.

"Hudson's dad was fun and attentive." There's a good Dad in this series?

"Unfortunetly, he also struggled with mental illness." "invisible low points" (Pg 164) Kinda reminds me of how Henry is described after Charlotte's death in the books.

Pg 164 "When Steven got himself into a bad deal that cost him his small business... he'd taken his life." Oh, it is Henry! SMH. Way to use confusing paralells. So, from our understanding thus far, Hudson's real father, Steven, is our Henry stand-in. His step-father despite being described similar to Henry, is actually our William stand-in. Fair game, Scott.

Pg 164 "...he [Hudson] was locked into a supply closet..." Oh shit, you guys. So, let me go on a tangent here, because this IS important! I just watched a retrospective on Sister Location and FNAF 6 earlier and one theory for Midnight Motorist was the person in the chair was the mother and the kid was Michael. I think this little line may confirm that. In fact, the story may be the key to figuring things out. Obviously, the line is a paralell to FNAF 4's scene in which Crying Child was locked in the supply closet of Fredbear's. I know some people, including Matpat, believe[d] CC was Michael, and in this book's context, it sort of works. This does contradict Step Closer and 1000 other things that make Michael the older brother, but maybe it's hinting at MM? Abusive stepdad (possibly Henry... maybe William is gone at this point), checked out Mom (hey, grey couch lady with Foxybro's font). IDK, but its definetly something to think about.

Pg 165 Lewis is mentioned as calling Hudson "nothing" and saying "you're nothing" on several occasions on this page. Just more abuse, for those accurate fanfic writers like me. Also I kinda wanna watch Morel Orel again. Yall know my fav character is Clay. Yall know.

"You're smoke." <-- Lewis / The text later reads, "...there was some irony, given what eventually happened." BRUH. Why did your stepdad die in a fire? :V TELL ME.

"When his family's house burned down at the end of his senior year..." Huh. Is there a fire we don't know about in the game-verse? Could this explain what happened to the FNAF 4 house before MM house?!

"...it purged Hudson of Lewis and his mother." MRS. AFTON BURNED ALIVE, TOO? Bruh. I can't with this story.

The text later describes the fire is concluded to be man-made and Hudson was blamed for it. Can't say if this ties to Michael, but it IS interesting... TBF, there is a small paralell to draw between Henry in FNAF 6 and his history of suicide in the books, too.

Pg 166 "...this place's [FF] busted thermostat.." I just find this line funny.

Pg 167 "...after three weeks of keeping an eye on the place" Some more timeline context for FNAF 3. We know that Michael worked there a little while before we start playing the game thanks to one of the phone calls, IIRC, so this makes sense. If Michael was accused of [something] and also wanting to hunt down his father, then it makes perfect sense why he's working a dead end job at Freddy's over and over and over. Fun fun fun.

Pg 169 "He hated to think about a functional character [Foxy]" This line is in regards to Hudson not liking the set up of Pirate's Cove and Foxy's hook to scare people. Sounds familiar, don't it? (For Michael anyway.)

Pg 173 "Some big find is arriving tomorrow." SPRINGY BOI! COME ON BOOK, get on with the show?

Pg 176 "Granny was wearing a red-and-green plaid shirt and her baggy jeans." Nothing special, but it was specifically brought up twice. I'm kind of racking my brain trying to understand what the point of this character is outside of "woooo everything is haunted don't you know that" kind of character.

Pg 180 "...dropped the crate on the linoleum with a resounding thud." HEY. Poor Springtrap, just gettin' tossed around like the trash he is.

Pg 186 "If you weren't so stupid, I'd tell you more about it." Springtrap bringing the burn. =:)

"A voice with a burr-like rasp...hint of a Southern accent" I'm going to assume this is because it's Lewis probably in the suit in this story and not our old British lad.

"It's was Mr. Atkin's voice." THE MATH TEACHER? *goes back to check* 'The algebra teacher'. Okay...

Pg 190 Okay, so Hudson hear's Lewis' voice this time. Okay, I get it now. Springtrap in this kind of imbodies all of Hudson's old bullies, including the teacher. He also has PTSD, just FYI. IDK if anyone finds that important, but it's fairly obvious by the line "He wasn't in his bedroom. Lewis didn't just slam his head into a desk; his head had been slammed into the [arcade] game."

"Why did he hallucinate a scene from his childhood?" Oh, it's not PTSD, then. It's just the VENTILATION ERROR. lol Okay.

Just a note, as I'm reading through the more action-based stuff, I kind of feel bad for Michael if he had flashbacks like this guy. They're intense.

So, Lewis' voice finally comes out of Springtrap on Pg 213. There's that.

Pg 220 "You can just stay there [in his room]" Kind of a paralell to Midnight Motorist. Lewis is saying it to Hudson. I really feel like the kid in the MM game is Michael because of this story...

Pg 223 "Heat purges. Fire heals." I'm sure that's Henry's life motto.

The ending was stupid, but most in these stories are. Hudson is hallucinating and is implied to have burned himself alive in FF's oven. Meh? The first half of this one is A TRIP and a little insight into what I 100% believe is Michael's childhood. I think the saddest part of it all is that we never got Springtrap speaking to Michael in FNAF 3--and if it's ever remade I hope we get more of them interacting.

Part 12

Apparently that new thing they were going to do was join the giant group of Pillagers that would once raise their axes and crossbows to hunt and kill her own village and herself. Kelly nervously sat there, staring at a plate of steak and rabbit stew nervously, wondering if they would dare poison her.

She sat right next to Donavan, who had insisted that herself and Bunny were guests of honor for the next few days, until she was healed enough for long distance travel. Kelly had never felt so queasy in her entire life. Each word out of Donavan’s ears seemed to rock Kelly to her core, almost forcing nervous vomit up her already shallow breathing throat, or was that just nausea from not having eaten in over a day?

Kelly almost didn’t dare take a single bite of food, but seeing Bunny eat plate after plate of steak. Of course, Bunny was ignoring the absolutely delicious looking rabbit stew. Completely and totally, Bunny’s eyes never once met with the rabbit stew. Kelly knew he had a strong dislike for the stuff, having tamed multiple rabbits of his own he began to dislike it. 

This had made her less nervous. Sure, this was the very same man who had shot her, though it was her fault, was it not? Bunny thought she was a Skeleton, out to kill Bunny so he shot first in hopes of monster murder. Although Bunny never did blame her for the incident, and instead blamed himself in a manner that made it seem like he didn’t care. 

She guessed that it really was her fault. She was being out so early in the morning when Skeletons and Zombies could still appear out from behind trees. It was her fault, therefore she shouldn’t blame Bunny, and instead start trying to see him as the only ally she had in this institution built for her people’s deaths.

It was her fault for getting shot. 

It was not Bunny’s fault for shooting her. 

She sighed as she picked up her fork finally, Donavan’s eyes watching her from the corner. A forkful of steak meat entered her mouth, a strange feeling really. She’d hardly been able to afford steak. She’s only if ever eaten beet stew or bread with her brother and mother. 

Steak and other meats were reserved for those who could afford it from butchers, and was considered a luxury. But when she looked around, the bit of steak still in her mouth, every plate she saw had some sort of meat on it. 

She swallowed thickly, reaching forward to a bottle of water and taking a sip. Donavan leaned forward during this moment, causing her moments to pause after she separated her lips from the bottle. “Uhm…” 

“How are you healing?” He asked her, his frown small and his eyes scanning her shoulder and hands. She had to pick up the small bottle with both hands, and no matter how she held the water bottle in her hands they shook. Not from fear, but rather a clumsy looseness. No matter how hard she held the bottle, it wasn’t tight enough to be considered safely held. She started to worry herself with the grip. Is she about to drop it? 

She sighs as she puts it down, pulling both arms close to her as she cradled her hurt one. “The potion worked… Thankfully..” She replied, of course she hesitated. 

“Not well enough, I’m afraid..” Donavan said, sighing as he watched her. “You would have had a better time actually going to the witch’s camp. They are better than brewing potions than we Pillagers are. Even so, I’m happy you got here when you did. Any less and well- it could have been worse than it is now…” 

Kelly nods, and Bunny puts down his bottle of water. “Where’s the beer?” 

He asks, sighing as he stood. Donavan shook his head in annoyance. “It isn’t even midday yet, Player, and you already want to drink?” 

“Yeah. I happen to like drinking.” 

Kelly found herself becoming annoyed with Bunny’s words, sighing as she used her good arm to start feeding herself. Her wound shot throughout the limb, it was difficult to move. Bunny had walked away by now, and most of the other men were also starting to leave. 

“Kelly?” Donavan asked, frowning. 

“Uh…” 

“Is your name Kelly?” He asks again, his voice calm and smooth. It sounded deep and gentle, like the night sky. 

She found herself blushing lightly out of embarrassment. “Yes… My name is Kelly..” She looked away. Most of the men were leaving, others were looking at papers posted up to see their jobs for the ongoing day. 

“Is your mother’s name Lillian, perchance?” He asked, scooting closer as if he were hearing an interesting story that had yet to be uttered from Kelly’s lips. 

She became hostile, glaring as she stood up abruptly. Donavan stood up out of pure instinct, shocked at the hateful glare. “How did you know that?! Do you have spies in my village?! Who are the traitors?” She shouted, her head dizzy with the sudden action. She nearly fell, if Donavan’s hand hadn’t caught her gently around her back, slowly leading her body down to rest back in her seat. 

“I know because of a story my dad told me when I was younger..” He murmured, slowly pulling his seat closer to hers. They were alone now, and he sat next to her, bending down so they were at the same level. Kelly found herself hating how he towered over her despite both sitting down. “He had a friend when he was my age, I was told he was a good man, who left years ago to escape an arranged marriage and be with a woman he loved, who was named Lillian.”

Kelly scoffed. “Yeah, next thing you’ll be telling me his name was my father’s name…” “Evan-“ “Evan-“ 

Both paused and stared at each other, an accidental interruption on both parties at the same time that shattered Kelly’s whole world. Her father’s name was Evan, and she was now terrified at how Donavan knew that name. Was it a popular name? Or did her father used to be a blood thirsty pillager? 

Donavan was excited, smiling. “Yes! That was my father’s friend’s name! Evan! My theory was right- you look just like your mother! I met her once- she wore black clothes and she held Mr. Evan’s hand-“ He was like that of an excited child who had been given a brand new version of his favorite toy. It was terrifying. 

“M-my father was not a pillager. He was a blacksmith like my brothers! Before.. Before he and my older brother died- of course..” Donavan’s excitement drained right then, and he cleared his throat. “I am… sorry for your loss. My father is dead too- that’s… that’s how I came to be in charge… Course- we all know his murderer, haha… Bunny is ruthless when it comes to war..”

Kelly frowned and sighed. “I’m… sorry for your loss.” She murmurs, frowning as she rested her body on the back of the chair. Somehow, the pair seemed closer. Kelly had such a set ideal of pillagers in her mind, she forgot that they were people too. They had families, ideas, and a culture she was oblivious to because of her stereotypes she was only now not thinking of. “I always thought pillagers killed each other to get a… higher rank? Is that the term?” She admitted and questioned herself, sighing. 

Donavan chuckled, shaking his head lightly. “Higher rank is right, but we don’t kill each other. We’re a military people, not a barbarian society. We rise in ranks by honorable deeds, like training recruits or doing brave deeds or even bringing a large amount of food and materials back to the base for the rest of the group.”

“And you kill other people in doing so…?” 

Donavan’s smile faltered, nervously glancing off to the side. “M…mostly whoever fights back… and Iron Golems hurt when they punch you in the gut.. Their entire bodies are made of iron, after all..” 

“I bet..” She rolled her eyes. Donavan scoffed. “Ah- as if you’ve ever been struck by an Iron Golem-“ 

“Try three!” “Bullshit-“ His jaw dropped, shock in his eyes. 

“I got pushed over and stepped on…” He winced, a hand subconsciously going to his left hip. “Ow…” She laughed, smiling. “They were all charging a Zombie that had snuck past… I was in the way…” She lifted her shirt up to her belly button, showing a few large but pale scars that mingled with black spots. “I was also less than 6.” 

He stared at her shirt, blinking momentarily before looking back up at her. “Why do you have witch’s marks…?” He asked, his voice quiet now. 

“I’ve always had those.” She says, trying to think back to a time before them. “I think I was born with them..? My twin brother, Casper, he has them too! But ah, only they’re on his back.” He nods along, frowning as he straightened his back. “Huh… It’s midday...” He said, staring at a clock as he stood. “Do you want me to walk you to your room?” He asked, holding out his hand. His gentle, large, sandpaper feeling hand. She took it, frowning at their almost similar skin tone. They were both born with pillager fathers. She stood, wincing and holding her arm that belonged to the wounded shoulder close, not daring to move it. 

“I’d appreciate it… I have no idea where it is.” She says, frowning as she looks to the side towards the window. 

He smiles, their hands still lightly brushing as they slowly walked. “Just follow me. I know this place like the back of my hand! I was born here.” 

She giggles, smiling as she walked close. “You know, when I was a child I thought Pillagers were born in a mansion with an axe in one hand and a crossbow in the other…” 

He barks a laugh. “You’re kidding!” 

She scoffs. “It’s true! I also thought that when the sun goes down it goes into the ocean and fizzles out before exiting the ocean and becoming the moon! Then it goes back through the ocean, but turns and goes through the Nether and going back on fire there from all the lava.”

He laughs harder, wheezing a bit. “Oh fuck-“

“Well it made sense to me!” She tried to defend, one hand going up. 

Donavan smiles, standing straight. “I used to think that ancient Evokers made the sun, and every once and a while it ran out of energy and Evoker prayers, or spells, powered it…” 

Now it was Kelly’s turn to laugh, her entire body shaking. She wheezed small ow’s every once and while, holding her shoulder as she laughed. “I don’t even know what an Evoker is, but even that’s a little far fetched!” 

Donavan smiles, shrugging, “Well it made sense to me.” He said, repeating Kelly’s words. 

Kelly and Donavan stopped in front of Kelly’s medical room door, sighing. “Y-yeah… Made sense to us both, as kids…” She murmurs, shaking her head before watching Donavan open the door. “Thank you.” He nods, smiling at her from the door way as she sighed and sat back down on her temporary bed. “Of course… Call if you need anything. I’ll post a guard for you.” 

“Thank you… uhm… Gen-“ “Donavan.” He interrupted, holding the handle to the door. “You can call me by my name. You’re not my soldier after all.” She laughs slightly, then nods as she stares at him. “Thank you, Donavan. I appreciate the walk, and the stories.” She says, before settling into her bed. “Have a good day.” He nods, turning now. “You too…” He said, before closing the door slowly. It clicked, and his heavy boots slowly disappeared down the hall. 

Today was going to be a good day. 

816

Gonna do a before and after of one of the first surveys I took when I was FOURTEEN. Fucking wild that I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade. Kinda my way of celebrating the fact that I’ve just been reunited with my old blog, which Tumblr has apparently changed the URL of. Baffled by the move but still stoked, and @a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse​ is absolutely the coolest person for being able to find it haha. Let’s gooooo 1. Are you registered to vote? No. I still have 3 years to go. < That’s so precious. I’ve been a voter for four years now. I registered the second I turned 18 and I remember being very excited to make it to the presidential elections because only a handful of people from my high school batch were 18 by the time of the elections. 2. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? Only when I’m counting down for something. < This still sounds like something I would do, but I don’t really get to anymore because I have digital calendars on my phone and laptop now. 3. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? Summer vacation! 4 days left! < Again, so cute. There’s no countdown that exists because I honestly don’t know when it will be okay enough to go out like normal again, but I am waiting for Covid to go away or at least for a vaccine to be available.

No #4? 5. Ever got injured at work? What happened? Nope. < I sprained my ankle at one of the parking lots in school, while walking to my car. Worst thing was it happened in front of an ongoing rally, and I heard their chants slightly falter when they saw me fall. I tried to play it cool, but my foot clearly felt fucked and someone had to hold my arm as I hopped to my car.

6. What color is your roof? Brown. < Stop pretending like you have a roof, Robyn. The house has always had a rooftop.

7. Do you use MySpace or Facebook more? Neither. < I was still far too young when MySpace peaked so I never did get to participate in its glory days. I definitely use Facebook a lot more, then and now. 8. Last time you sharpened a pencil? When I took a diagnostic test last Monday. < Sometime in 2019 when I was still heavily into coloring and I bought several coloring books and a pack of coloring pencils. I loved coloring and wish I kept it up, but it was just a bit of a hassle for me to sharpen every ten minutes or so. 9. List all the people in your phone under T: Zero, zilch, nada. No phone. < A high school batchmade named Dani, a college colleague named Kate, and a couple of aunts and uncles whose contacts start with Tito and Tita.  10. How old were you when you got into text messaging? I once had a super obsessive text problem when I was 11, I think? < That would be the first time I got hooked with texting, but I got my first phone when I was 7 and was already texting by then. Mostly my parents and grandpa, but still. 11. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. < No. They’ve already told me they won’t pressure me to do so either, but out of gratefulness for taking care of me for 20+ years I have absolutely no problems covering some of the bills when the time comes. 12. What do you think of Obama’s new healthcare bill? I don’t know a lot about it. < Honestly, still same. That’s another country’s politics altogether and we have enough issues in our own nation as it is. I do pay attention to US issues that are more universal like LGBT issues, police brutality against black people, Trump as a person...but not the more in-depth ones like healthcare or student debt. 13. How many icons are on your desktop? 34. < Exactly half of that. 14. Do you spit or swallow? Get outta here!!! < Still can’t relate. 15. Ever wrote something on a bathroom wall? Nope. < Eugh no, public bathrooms are so nasty. I don’t usually touch anything in them other than the faucet. I’ve written on other things though, like the desks in school. 16. What’s your definition of a slut? Uh. < Someone who often has casual sex with a lot of people, is how I understand it. 17. If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? Nah. < I don’t really use the word. 18. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I did once, in a children’s party. < Yeah, just that one time at my second cousins’ place when they were in the mood to paint on eggs and invited me and my siblings. 19. What did you do on the first day of spring? Never experienced spring. < We don’t have spring. 23. Are you currently crushing on anyone? No. < Yes. 24. What color hair did the last person you kissed have? NKSB. < LOOOOOOOOOL I spent like two minutes puzzling over this like who tf is NKSB??? Eventually realized this just meant ‘Never Kissed Since Birth’ oh my god 14 year old Robyn you were SO uncool. Anyway, her hair is black. 25. Do you stand up to say the pledge in school? We don’t have a school pledge, but we do recite our country’s pledge and yes, we stand up every time we say it. < Not anymore in university. Everyone just kinda does their own thing in college and we’re never gathered as one student body for anything, except for graduation. 26. Do you like your eye color? God no. It’s so boring. < I mean yeah it is a bit boring, but we kinda have no choice. Unless you go to West Asia which is nearing Europe as it is, nearly all Asians have brown eyes and black hair. 27. What brand of orange juice did you last drink? Zesto. < That’s the only brand of orange juice I’m okay with drinking, even eight years later. 28. Pens or pencils? Pens. < Still feel the same. 29. Last skirt you wore and why? My school skirt, because I have to go to school. < Omfg again, this is so precious. The last one I wore was my denim skirt, but it’s also been a while since I wore that because one of its buttons has since popped out and I never got around to having it fixed, leaving me with no skirts. 30. Last time you wore heels, what kind were they? A prom I went to. I actually have no idea what kind of heels they are so I’m just gonna say old-women heels. < They were stilettos, you dumbass. I also wore a pair of stilettos the last time I wore heels. They’re my favorite kind, so. 31. Shoes you wear the most? My Keds. < My pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. . 32. Favorite quote at the moment? “YOU DUMB BITCH! I’M NOT HOLDING A MICROPHONE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?” - CM Punk < Holy crap, I do not remember this quote at all and had to look it up on YouTube and – no regrets. Watching it made so many memories come rushing back lmao that clip is hilarious; Punk is the greatest. Right now I don’t really have a favorite quote. 33. What was the last magazine article you read about? I forgot. < It’s from the website version of the magazine, but the last article I read covered a viral Facebook post wherein someone had photoshopped the faces of The Big Bang Theory boys onto the traditional graduation photos of my university out of boredom. Article is here for anyone who wants to see how well the pictures turned out lol. 34. What do you think about communism? I don’t know enough about it. < I completely support the progressive youth orgs, especially the ones in my university, that are aligned with communist, socialist, and Marxist ideals. They speak the truth more than any other orgs, so I don’t shy away from defending them or promoting their ideals, especially on social media, even if it puts me in danger. 35. Are you planning on going to college? If so, which one? Of course. I want to study in Ateneo. < CAN WE CANCEL 14 YEAR OLD ROBYN?????? What a disappointment omg. You were always meant to be in UP, you weirdo. 22 year old me takes that appalling statement back lol I can’t even begin to imagine spending my college years in Ateneo. 36. What’s your favorite flower? Ugh I hate flowers. < Peonies and roses. 37. What’s the nearest beach? I think it’s like…600 km away + a 2 hour boat ride. < No it is not. There’s a beach I come back to in Nasugbu and that’s only 100 km away. 38. Ever been to Florida? Nope. < Still nope. 39. How old is your brother’s best friend? He’s probably 9 as my brother’s 9. < I don’t know if he has one and I don’t really care anymore. 40. What type of car did you ride in last? A Kia van. < Sksksksks this was referring to the school bus I used to ride omg :( I was last in our Vitara, when I had to go to the hospital to get some tests done back when I still had a pesky fever. 42. Are you excited for summer 2013? Fuck yeah. < I honestly don’t remember how it ultimately went, but apparently I was excited for it so that answers the question. 43. What class were your parents (ex. class of ‘75)? They’re the same age so batch ‘89. < There we go. 44. Are you in debt right now? For what? No. < Kinda-ish? I promised my sister I’d pay her for helping me out with iMovie (I wanted to make Gab a video for her birthday, but had never done it before), but I haven’t had the chance to do it since I only have big bills at the moment. She’s asking for ₱200 but I only have ₱1000s in my wallet, so I can’t pay her for now. 45. If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I definitely want one. < Yep, still want one. Though I’ll need a crash course on how to use it because my parents never really taught me how cards work. 46. What color is your phone? No phone. < Apple calls it space gray but it’s really just black. 47. Have you ever had someone read a text message they weren’t supposed to see? Yes. < Yes. That person was me, and I accidentally read a text from my dad meant for only my mom when I was 5 because I had stubborn fingers that would click on anything. 48. What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? 10. < Holy cow, that’s a nope for me. I’d say 12 or 13. 49. Would you ever work night crew? Sure. < Yes. I’ve seen my girlfriend’s mom do it and honestly I find it pretty badass, especially because while everyone is stuck in traffic trying to get to work by 9 AM, she’s cruising down the highway on the opposite lane with no problem, to be home by 9 hahaha. 50. How old is the last person you texted? 41. < 22.

Character Bios

Parenthesis means they have a Harry Potter AU verse 

Name: Severus Tobias Snape Year: Cute. House: Slytherin Blood Status: Befouler Antichrist Eye colour: Cobalt nowadays Age: Old enough to say no. Birthdate: 1/9 Height: 6′7 Patronus: Horned Viper Description: I still hate my job. I still hate people. I’m just immortal now. Please leave my office & don’t touch anything on your way out.

Name: Brittnay Matthews Year: College Junior (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Human (Pureblood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 21 Birthdate:  6/15 Height: 5′5 (Patronus: Pitbull) Description: Cross me & I’ll hurt you. Otherwise I’m Brittnay Matthews you’re new best friend. People think I’m arrogant but in reality they’re angry I’m better than them. I used to go to Overland Park high school. I’m glad I don’t anymore.

Name: Rhaegar Daeron Targaryen (Year: Graduated/Verse Dependant) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: ??? Eye colour: Violet Age: 34 Nameday: All I remember was being born in the high summer Height: 7’1 (Patronus: Hungarian Horntail) Description: I’m believed to be dead. Walking about when one is believed to be dead is actually quite boring no matter how much it may benefit the Realm. I do admit I made. Many mistakes however in my defence not all prophecies are interpreted in a straight forward manner. I did better than any of you would have in the situation so save your criticism for until you watch a man identical to you get his chest caved in by a war hammer.

Name: Lilith “Lily” Sophie Evans Year: Graduated/Verse Dependant House: Slytherin Blood Status: Demon/Witch Eye colour: Green/Blue/ Sometimes they go crimson. Age: Doesn’t matter. I won’t die. Birthdate: 1/30 Height: 5’3 Patronus: Bold of you to assume I have one  Description: My sister was right. I’m a freak. Even my parents saw something... Wrong in me when I was younger. They tried to pretend I was fine. ”Just a few odd occurrences here & there.” Until an older boy who couldn’t keep his hands to himself suddenly found that a hand could very easily be turned inside out. In the long run it was a good result. They found quite a bit of child pornography in his little hovel of a bedroom. My parents knew I did it but couldn’t quite figure out how until the Hogwarts letter came. They were both horrified & relieved. But to make a long story short. Once I met Severus Snape & we put our interest in the Dark Arts together... I got WORSE. & it felt good. I became addicted to the draw of dark magic, occult magic in particular & now Tom Riddle wants me to tell him what I said to Lucifer to get this new body. I might tell him if he begs in the right tone.

Name: Brahms Hillshire Blood Status: Half-demon Eye colour: Green Age: 16 Birthdate: Don’t care Height: 5′11 Description: I’m a child serial killer. I want to play around in your innards. & blood. I want to play around in your blood too.

Name: “Andrew” Antisepticeye McLoughlin Blood Status: Computer Virus Entity/Demon Eye colour: Lime Green Age: 29 (Existing for 3) Birthdate: 10/10 Height: N/A Description: It’s better if ya dun run. It’ll just drag et out. Plus sometimes ya lot chip my knife on one of yer stupid bones. & I dun really li’e runnin much ta be honest.

Name: Chase Brody Blood Status: Human Eye colour: Blue Age: 29 Birthdate: 4/11 Height: 5′10 Description: Hey bros! I’m Chase! Uh, some of ya already know tha! Anti brought me here! He said it’d be fun an’ I trus’ ‘im! I swear ‘e’s actually always been kinda nice ta me! Besides the ‘ole threatenin’ the kids thin’ but we’re frien’s now! He says he’ll teach me how ta shoot a real gun someday!

Name: Brian Griffin Blood Status: Dog(?) Eye colour: Green Age: ??? Birthdate: ??? Height: 6′4 Description: I used to be an alcoholic dog. Now I’m an alcoholic. Not much to say after something like that happens. I’m really confused to be frank. Maybe now I can actually get someone to take me seriously & publish my book.

Name: Carlos De Vil (Year: Sixth) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Half-demon/ Sorcerer Eye colour: Blue Age: 16 Birthdate: 3/20 Height: 5′7 (Patronus: Red Fox) Description: Hi, I’m Carlos & life is pain, only valid things in this world are only science & Evie Grimhilde, bye. Gemini De Vil is my midget brother who I love. Devil De Vil is my crazy ass dad. My mom is dead, thanks for asking.

Name: Danny Flint Blood Status: Shade Eye colour: Grey Age: Old Nameday: ? Height: 5′4 Description: Being dead was less droll.  

Name: Eileen Tabitha Prince Snape Year: Graduated House: Slytherin Blood Status: Pureblood Poltergeist Eye colour: Black Age: Well. I died at 35 so let’s go with that Birthdate: 12/18 Height: 6’11  (Used to be 6'6 but I had this weird growth spurt two days before I died.) Patronus: Didn’t have one apparently

Description: … I really don’t have anything to say to you. I died, I decided I wanted to come back. Er. Awkwardly enough the old castle I was haunting is now inhabited by my son and his family. They’re all really bloody loud. No wonder the rest of the ghosts make so much noise back. And no. I have not introduced myself to any of them. I mean. Sometimes I talk to ‘em but I’ve never gotten an answer. Plus unlike most of the floating assholes here I’d much rather keep to myself, thank you.

Name: Griffin “Finn” Merterns Blood Status: Human(?) Eye colour: Blue Age: 19 Birthdate: 3/14 Height: 6′3 Description: Hey bros! I’m Finn, a radical kid that makes it his business to help people out and kickin’ monster tail! Mostly when I’m not doin’ that I’m chillin’ it up with my bro Jake in the tree house so as long as you’re not some wacko monster that wants to eat up my face you can swing by and we can fire up BMO or something.

Name: Henry Harry Jameson Hook (Year: Slytherin) (House: Seventh) Blood Status: Half-demon/Sorcerer Eye colour: Blue Age: 17 Birthdate: 10/23 Height: 6′2 (Patronus: Savannah cat) Description: All it takes is one wrong look & I’ll EVISCERATE ya... Taken by Uma daughter of Ursula. Ya want me? Ya have ta ask her permission & pray she likes ya & is in a SHARIN’ mood. Jamie Hook is me mum an’ she taugh’ me all I know about bein’ scary. Me da??? He’s a dumbass.

Name: Karl Vreski (Year: Graduated) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Human (Pureblood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 19 (Typically) Birthdate: 10/25 Height: 6′1 (Patronus: Jackal)

Description: I’m Karl. Lacrosse. Tacos. Boxing. American football. Whatever activity that involves either Hans Gruber or hitting something? I like it. Tony’s alright. Good brother at least. Not at all annoying like the normal younger sibling M.O. Far nicer than me. I’ll likely end up being a lawyer same as my father. Boring but Hans and I are already working at the damn firm so it’s an easy job. I’m sure Hans’ll come up with a more fun idea. He always does.

Name: Tony Vreski (House: Hufflepuff) (Year: Seventh) Blood Status: Poltergeist (Pureblood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 17 (Typically) Birthdate: 9/3 Height: 5′10 (Patronus: Rooster)

Description: I’m Tony… I uh. I play some football. Real football not American. I’m Karl’s younger brother and… To be honest Hans scares me a little bit even if we’re all like brothers… Uh more often than not I just go along with their crazy plans because. Well because my brother says it’ll be fun. And. It usually is. Even if some of it’s a little illegal.

Name: Loki Friggason (Year: Graduated) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: God of Mischief & Chaos Eye colour: Green Age: Don’t be rude. Birthdate: Mind your business Height: 6′0 (Patronus: Corn snake) Description: I am Loki of Asgard. & I’m so fucking tired of all the gards.

Name: Beverly Marsh Blood Status: Human Eye colour: Green Age: 14 Birthdate: 8/26 Height: 5′3

Description: I’m Bev. Looked into that stupid clown’s deadlights & lived. I’ll be a loser to the end & I’m honestly real proud of that. Losers have no where to go but up, after all.

Name: Marceline Abadeer Blood Status: Vampire Demon Eye colour: Green Age: 1003, Approximately Birthdate: Unknown Height: 5′9 (Various) Description: Marceline the Vampire Queen, dude. Sure you’ve heard of me before so I wouldn’t be surprised to see you shaking in your boots right about now. Been traveling and terrorising the Land of Ooo for a while now though it’s nothing too irreversible. Mostly I’m just a radical dame that likes to play games as a very special someone once said about me.

Name: Nathan Clarke (Year: I died in seventh) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: (Verse dependent) Poltergeist (Half-blood) Eye colour: Blue Age: 17 Birthdate: 8/13 Height: 6′2 (Patronus: Some squiggly thing I dunno) Description: Hi I’m Nathan & I wanna die... Haha gottem!

Name: Richmond Richie Wentworth Tozier Blood Status: Human Eye colour: Caribbean Green Age: 14 Birthdate: 8/10 Height: 5′10  Description: I’m only afraid of werewolves & girls with eyes that are hard to not get lost in.

Name: Robyn Black Robin Blood Status: Poltergeist Eye colour: Hazel Age: Hm Nameday: Some far off winter Height: 6′5 Description:  “The Gods above all knew his crimes The lord read off his lists The Gods above all knew his crimes The men's hands balled to fists His legs they kicked, they jerked, then slowed The crowd not once did cheer His legs they slowed, then finally stopped The crowd not once did jeer”

Name: Sadie O’Connell Blood Status: ??? Eye colour: Blue Age: 19 Birthdate: I don’t remember Height: 5′6 Description: I tried to kill myself over a boy who didn’t love me back. Someone brought me back & now here I am, I guess.

Name: Scorpio Felix Sepelio Tobias Exodus Snape Blood Status: Vampire Eye colour: One is jade one is cobalt and they swap sides frequently Age: 91 Died at 36 and it’s been a while. You do the math, mate. Birthdate: 11/10 Height: 5’3

Description: Surprise bitches. I bet you all thought I was dead…In a matter of speaking that’s still accurate. The greasy little snot did indeed best me when I was human. I respect that victory &even though I miss them.. My children don’t need me. I wasn’t good to them when they did. I doubt they’re aware I came back and I’ll keep it that way for all our sakes. There’s no point in asking me how exactly I returned to life. I don’t know and I don’t particularly care. Maybe Hell just can’t handle me yet.

Name: Thomas Marvolo Riddle Year: Graduated House: Slytherin Blood Status: Demon Fledging Eye colour: Blue Age: Rude. Birthdate: 12/31 Height: 6′4 Patronus: Hmmm, my little secret. Description: Join my cult. Satanism is actually very beneficial if you’re respectful. No. You don’t have to slit your wrist to join... Please. Stop slitting your wrists to join.

Name: King Aerys Targaryen Second of His Name King of the Andals & the First Men Lord of the Seven Kingdoms & Protector of the Realm (Year: Graduated) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: Human Mine is the blood of Old Valyria (Pureblood) Eye colour: Violet Age: Hm. Nameday: High summer.  Height: 6′8 (Patronus: Gila Monster) Description: Burn them all.

Name: Ser Jaime Lannister (Year: Graduated) (House: Hufflepuff) Blood Status: Shade (Pureblood) Eye colour: Green Age: I’m dead. Sorry. Nameday: Does it matter? Height: 5′6 (Patronus: Munchkin Cat) Description: I stayed loyal to the Targaryens & they won. But I died when Robert Baratheon caved in Rhaegar’s chest... At least I got to watch him die for it.

Name: Daenerys Visenya Targaryen (Year: Fifth) (House: Slytherin) Blood Status: ??? (Pureblood) Eye colour: Violet Age: 15 Nameday: During a violent storm Height: 4′9 (Patronus: Blue-tongued Skink) Description: My family’s way is fire & blood... But my heart sings a softer song... & I don’t know which way is right.

The Older Man *smut*- Thomas Shelby

Request// Can you do a imagine of Tommy where the reader is younger than him? @yomairagotpb

Request// Would you consider doing a Tommy Shelby imagine where the reader is quite a bit younger than Tommy and a family friend that helps with the business killing. The reader doesn't date or anything until Tommy finally professes his feelings and takes her virginity A bit rough Dirty smut pretty please

*You asked for smut and I’m about to hella deliver. Cover your eyes if you can’t handle dirty words! In all honesty, it’s my best attempt after a week of contemplation. Someone please teach me the secret to writing good smut!! I’m going to try to put out at least one more work before Friday because I’m getting my wisdom teeth taken out and no one would want to read anything I right then haha. xoxox*

Masterlist

(Part 2)

Same time every week. Like clockwork. Tommy knew to have your pay ready and on his desk by noon every Wednesday so you could pick it up before going to the market. This had been ‘the usual’ for years, and it seemed you had fooled Thomas into even enjoying your momentary visits. Of course, all the men in the shop had if he were to be honest. There was only one notion that had kept him from lashing out passively in a jealous pique or even pursuing you further when he realized just how enamored he’d become with you: you were younger buy some extent, nearby 10 years.

It didn’t help that your family was one of very little the Shelbys could call friends because if a rendezvous were to come about, all secrets would come to light in the eyes of your mother and father. In truth, your position in the company was no longer what it used to be, though they didn’t need to know that. Your father had served in the war, and while he would never be able to walk again, you thanked the Lord everyday that he even came home, consumed at the time on how his older age than most boys he fought with would not excuse him from enemy fire. Your mother had worked in a factory while your dad was away, but to make ends meet, you took up a position at Shelby Company Ltd. the woman you knew as you own aunt Polly had offered you while her nephews were on the battlefront. When the war had ended and the boys had come home, you were sure you would be unemployed. In truth it had been a surprise to all how useful and imperative you became. The only catch was that you duties became more than just helping keep the books like when you were 14. Tommy had gotten you in on exporting malt whiskey to the United States and even ending a couple of the sad lives of those who fucked over the Peaky Blinders. Not that you would say so, but you liked to think of yourself as the first ‘peaky boy.’ Now you were a lone wolf, only ever stopping in when you were called and for your pay as well as weekly updates.

In those short frames, Tommy had stopped seeing you as the 18 year old kid he came back to Birmingham to find. You’d grown into yourself, becoming an enigma to most all the Blinders. A young beauty in the business who would kill for the family yet rarely been seen or heard from, an impassive look by default, would naturally elicit such curiosities.

They only knew what they needed to: look but don’t touch, and it was best to watch their lips shut if they liked their tongues kept in their mouth. The rules somehow had never applied to Thomas, which made him nearly swell with pride. Behind closed doors and away from the watchful eyes of debauched men, you had a charismatic quality that very few got to see. You could take care of your parents, you could joke with the Shelbys, and attend events in your own family’s name while keeping your uncanny reputation with those who needed to know it.

Tommy was almost caught off guard when you came uninvited into his office, pushing your coat off your shoulder as the warmth of the room stuck to you. “Afternoon Mr.Shelby,” you greeted as you perched on the chair across his desk.

“I’ve told you for years, Y/N, Tommy will do,” He replied as he finished checking the papers in front of him.

“Yes, but I do enjoy formalities at times, Mr.Shelby.”

“Are we to act as if you didn’t barge into my office then?”

You pressed your tongue deep into your cheek, not being able to think up a witty excuse. You decided to change the subject to what the occasion was actually about. “We’ll once I finish my business here, I can make an unceremonial exit as well.”

Tommy took it as a sign to give you your earnings, sliding it into your grasps across the table. “How’s your family nowadays?”

You oddly liked when he asked about things outside of business, it added a softer touch to his rigid demeanor, not that it was out of his own formalities with a lady present you were sure. “As well as they can be, Mum won’t stop griping at me about having yet to settle down.”.

“I’m sure you will in due time.”

“I’m not so sure. She keeps talking about wanting a baby in the family. Could you see me, all domestic with a baby and husband?” The thought actually made you laugh. You had put so much work into earning a spot within the company, you weren’t ready to lose it for a man who wanted you to stay at home all day.

In truth, Tommy could imagine it, and he’d be embarrassed to admit he had before. He would never be a man for the simple life, but in the years past your 20th birthday, he had spent a couple moment imagine you in a more homely way, with him to be specific.

“Business is too ample for marriage and children at the moment, Y/N. Best to put it on the backburner.”

“Like you?” That surely earned you a familiar glare as Tommy lit a cigarette between his lips. You weren’t a fool. Tommy was a stately, handsome man. It wasn’t hard to see, but you knew better than to fawn over a man like him. He probably still saw you as the scrawny kid that barely talked after he came home. Men like him wanted women of experience, didn’t they? So for now, you were stuck in the role of the little girl playing with the big boys. If only you could help your mother see the same way without telling her the truth. She would surely have a heart attack otherwise. “Mum wants you to come over to dinner in the coming weeks, still thinks you’re the good boy you were when you were younger. Don’t have the heart to tell her otherwise.”

Younger. God, he had never been self conscious of his about age and time before, but now it was all he could think about. He raised to help you with your coat, joining you across the desk.“Only me?”

“Well John’s married and Arthur is too old. She still thinks I’ve got a shot with you,” you joked, turning to slip into your coat and hide your blush, missing the sight of a wide-eyed Tommy. “I’m only joking,” you renounced. “The rest of the family is invited too.”

He quickly recollected himself before nodding silently. “I’ll get back to you.”

You gave him a staid nod before taking your leave, knowing that you had more than likely just made a fool of yourself. “I look forward to it Mr. Shelby.”

Same time every week. That’s why Thomas was all the more curious when you showed up in his office after close two days later. He’d rarely see you outside of those half an hour increments, and never in all the years he had known you had he seen you so lachrymose, tears built up in your foggy Y/E/C eyes.

“Y/N, are you alright?” He asked hesitantly. He sat for a moment in silence as you you pulled the pins out of your hair, letting your hair lay down.

“Pour me a drink, would you Thomas.” You small pout deceived you, but your voice remained sturdy.

“By the smell of it you’ve already had a couple. I think you best head home.” He must have been out of his mind, choosing to send you home when he had found himself desiring your company more than ever since you left the shop on Wednesday.

“Please, Tommy.” Your voice cracked under the weight of your words and so did his better judgement. His name sounded like a melody coming off your tongue.

He slowly got up, pouring two glasses of liqueur as you settled into your rightful seat. After he set the glass in front of you, you began to toy with the rim, running the smooth edge across your fingertips. “Are you gonna tell me what’s upset you?”

“I don’t really know.” His eyebrows crunched in confession as you inhaled the drink, enjoying the burn down your throat. “A boy’s expressed his intention to marry me.”

The silence settled in again as his mood soured from skepticism to ire. “A boy?

“Yes. A boy. Nice one down the street. We’ve gone out a couple times, but I thought it was just for fun. Didn’t expect anything to come of it.”

He knew he had no right to be angry, but the the thought of another young man, holding you, having you was not something he could tolerate. But there was no other choice was there? “Well, a Congratulations is in order then. What’ll be the new surname?”

“I said no.”

“You said no?”

“That’s what I just said inn’t?” Never before had your placidness been so maddening.

“You truly do refuse to settle down, don’t you?” He was only joking before when he heeded you to keep from marriage, he just didn’t want anyone else to take you away before he could muster up the courage of wanting a younger woman.

“I’ve done the stupidest thing possible, Tommy. I’ve fucked up.” You played with the ends of your hair, avoiding eye contact at all possible costs as you rallied all your liquid luck. “I’ve become the foolish girl who’s fallen for an older man.”

“And what’s so wrong about that?” He had his suspicions, but it had always been his own mind that got the way. Fear of losing a great worker and even friend. Fear of breaking mends with your family and angering Polly. Fear of even the slightest possibility of taking advantage of your innocence. But you weren’t the little girl you were before.

The tone in his voice, deep and alluring, didn’t fail to give you chills. “Because I can never have him. An older man wouldn’t want some ameteur at best. And because I still want him that makes me foolish.”

“I’m not one to toy with my meal, Y/N.” The truth lied between you, in the air across his desk. He had yet to blatantly reject you like he thought you would, so what was to keep you from pushing any farther? You stood slowly and walked to the opposite side of his desk as he watched you like a predator. You sat back against the desk, resting between his legs.

“Then eat me..”

That was all it took for him to take control and treat you like the woman you’d become. He pushed you back on the desk, not bothering to pay mind to the papers now scattered on the floor. His hardening erection laid against your thigh as he positioned himself further between your legs. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this moment? To be between your soft, warm legs?”

“Please, Tommy. I need you.”

He didn’t take his time pulling you hot against him, working to removed your undergarments as you planted needy kisses across his sharp jaw. It felt as if he was a young man again, still spontaneous and brazen but with a feral need he hadn’t experienced in years. “Already soaked for me. A good fuck should do you well.”

“I can take it. I’ve craved you for years now. Don’t keep me waiting.” You took your own initiative, tugging at his pants until you were able to free his member, hard and aching just for you.

With nothing between you to stop him any longer, he turned you to face the desk as he pushed in you less than gently, giving you the ecstasy you’d only dreamt of alone after dusk, a yelp falling from your lips. “Has an older man ever fucked you like this before.”

“God no. You're the first man.”

“Ever?” His question drew him out of his unchaste daze.

You looked back at him with wanton eyes and a bashful smile. “Ever.” In the seconds that followed, you had thought you definitely fucked up. You could feel him pulling away behind you and you reached back, trying desperately to make him stay inside you without making more of a fool of yourself. Your smirk fell as you thought that you inexperienced age truly had kept you from having Tommy.

He turned you back to face him, having a softer touch than only moments ago. A warmth rose in his chest at the thought of being the spitfire-in-front-of-him’s first, but he wanted to do this as right as he could in his office. He noticed your doleful expression and moved quickly to reassure you. “I’m not a young boy anymore, Y/N, so I’m not gonna fuck you like one.” Your eyebrows bunched together, not understanding what he was getting at. “No need to be rough and fast when I’ve got the most beautiful girl in all of England right of me. I’ll show you how a man can please you.”

The tension dissolved from the room, a rosy blush on your cheeks while you rested you head on his shoulder. You planted slow kisses upon any exposed skin as your worked to unbutton his shirt. “I quite like this rough Tommy though.” Your voice returned to its cheeky tone as he slid his fingers up the bare skin of your outer thighs.

You soon found yourself pushed back to the desk, completely exposed to the older man you’d had a crush on for years. “Well maybe if you’re a good girl, you can have it both ways.”

Before you could reply, you felt his calloused hand move against your clit, teasing you with the release you so desperately wanted. Small whimpers of need turned into full grown moans as the man of your fantasies edged you closer to your own orgasm. “Thomas, you can’t keep teasing me like that.”

As you moved to push his expert hand away, he gently smacked your hand warning. “You knew what you were getting yourself into, love. Now let me taste you.”

Within seconds you found yourself reaching for the nearest thing to hold onto as his head pushed its way eagerly between you legs. Your fingers tangled themselves into his hair while his fervent tongue lapped at you tight hole, tying knots in your stomach. It didn’t take long to make you cum against his tongue, trying your best to keep your body from squirming away from him.

It was only when your body relaxed that he stood up, positioning himself to finish what you’d collectively started.

You pulled his body to yours, his blue eyes focused solely on you. No words were exchanged as he pushed deep inside of you, but shaky breaths filled the air. Never did you think you would truly see him so vulnerable, his forehead resting against yours as you both lost yourselves to the feeling on the other’s every movement. While he was slow at first, basking in every inch of your warm wet core, he didn’t take long to pump with a pace that took your breath away. He bucked inside you with a tight grip on your hips. Your legs wrapped around him, hoping to make the moments last as long as possible, kissing and nipping at your neck. Time past all to fast before you felt another orgasm wreck through your body. A surprised squeal left your lips as you felt Tommy cum in you, filling you with his warmth.

The room was quiet again, no shaky desk or shaky breaths. Just a comfortable silence as Tommy turned you laid against him, half sitting in is chair. You let your fingers wander over his chest while looking off, his running over your knees and helping to stop the shaking that you found yourself coming to love.

When the heat of the moments cooled, you found yourself collecting your garments. Tommy watched pensively from his chair. “You think I’m going to let you leave so soon?”

You turned your head away from him, biting your bottom lip as butterflies flutter within you. “I’ve never taken you as the sort to want your ‘guest’ sticking around, Tommy.” You laughed in your throat as you heard him scoff at you.

“‘Guest’ are called such because they’re only a one time thing, love.”

“And I’m not?”

A half smirk appears on his face. He stands up and begins to redress himself, a sight you could get use to. You have to stop yourself from letting out a childish grunt of disapproval as he rebuttoned his shirt. “Far from.”

A smile was almost fully formed on your lips when he pulled you into his kiss by the back of your neck. “Haven’t gotten your fill yet, Mr. Shelby?”

For once in the hundreds of time you’d called him by his surname, this had been the first he ever felt proud of it. He had always worked to make the name have meaning, but hearing it so tastefully fall from your lips nearly made him take you again on the office floor. Hearing ‘Mr.Shelby’ made him want to give you the world, give you all of his world. Including his name. “Not quite.” Like clockwork, he helped you slip on your coat before the night air could touch the arms and legs and thighs that he had now claimed as his own. “I’ll take you home for now. Maybe even talk to your mum about setting up that dinner.”

I wanted you to answer 0 to 44, not 0 and 44 😅

Oooh okie sorry anon haha

Here we go again then, sorry in the advance for the long post 🤡

___

0: Height

1m78/5'10

1: Age

23

2: Shoe size

Am tall so i have big feet that's all u need to know 😭

3-4-5: Do you smoke/drink/take drugs?

I do not. Tried like one cigarette and a couple drinks when i was like 16-17, decided it wasn't for me. Later on when i met my bf he introduced me to straight edge and I ended up claiming edge in 2019 when felt like i knew enough about it.

6: Age you get mistaken for

I know I used to look older when i was a teen cause I've always been really tall but now I just look my age haha

7: Have tattoos?

Only one, some blackberries with a bee on my forearm

8: Want any tattoos?

Yea I'm getting an angel tattooed hopefully this summer

9: Got any piercings?

I dont

10: Want any piercings?

really want my nostril pierced but my mom absolutely hates piercings lmao

11: Best friend?

I've had the same bestfriend since we were both 12. People often mistake us for sisters but we dont see it haha. My other bestie is my bf tho, he knows me better than anyone and there's no one i get along with better in the universe

12: Relationship status

Taken

13: Biggest turn ons

Dirty talk, being told what to do, hands, eye contact

14: Biggest turn offs

Bad manners, not feeling appreciated

15: Favorite movie

The place beyond the pines, Up and Ratatouille

16: I’ll love you if…

You talk to me about stuff u like and if we have the same shitty/dad humor

17: Someone you miss

My bestie, she left for work for a couple of weeks, and my bf

18: Most traumatic experience

Was followed home by some random old dude when i was 15. He left after i yelled my brother was upstairs but i've been scared of going places alone at night ever since.

19: A fact about your personality

If i know you and like you, i will not shut up. If i don't, I won't say a word 🙃

20: What I hate most about myself

My low self esteem and pretty much my whole body lol

21: What I love most about myself

My compassion, kindness and humor (my ass too)

22: What I want to be when I get older

Any visual communication/graphic design job honestly, just wanna work in the field i love, no job in particular. Although working with bands or for a fashion design magazine would def be a dream job.

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

My sister and I get along great most of the time, but i don't like my brother tbh.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

My mom and I have been getting along great lately. And it's alright with my dad as well.

25: My idea of a perfect date

I'm a sucker for movie dates and walks 🥺

26: My biggest pet peeves

Again, bad manners and also mansplaining 🤢

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

He's kind, funny and hella pretty. He always gibs the best cuddles n gifts. He dresses cool and he lets me borrow his cool shirts. I luv him always, even when he's grumpy.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

Honestly no one comes to mind

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

I have the bad habit of being often late and i sometimes lie about how ready i am or where i am omw 🤡🤡🤡 (am never more than 10min late!! but my friends are always v on time)

30: What I hate the most about work/school

I go to a pretty nice Arts&Design university and I hate how much competition there is between the students 🙄

31: What my last text message says

Answering a friend about plans for tomorrow

32: What words upset me the most

Honestly, anything about my weight or diets

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

Getting any reassurance about how i look or being understood when I am upset

34: What I find attractive in women

Cool clothes or make up, uplifting personality, shared interests

35: What I find attractive in men

Hands, necks, pretty eyes and a nice clean shaved face too (sorry sammich 😭), smelling nice, shared interests/music taste

36: Where I would like to live

Somewhere near the city but with some green and most importantly somewhere calm

37: One of my insecurities

My chubby body

38: My childhood career choice

Wanted to be an arts n crafts teacher for children hahaha

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Blueberry cheesecake, cookie dough or ben n jerry's Netflix n chill

40: Who I wish I could be

Honestly wouldnt wanna be anyone else

41: Where I want to be right now

On a vacation on the seaside would be p cool

42: The last thing I ate

Crêpes

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

Megan Fox

44: A random fact about anything

I have a chonky cat

Double Exposure is a collaborative series that features the work of an admired artist.

LightLeaks second featured artist is Eva Mecham–a Vegas-based photographer who strives to represent women in an industry dominated by men. While the struggle to find respect always seems like a challenge, she continues her quest to become a respected photographer by practicing and perfecting her craft.

In this segment of Double Exposure, our aim is to support women, not just in photography but in every field where women are not represented fairly, respected or even paid enough in comparison to our male counterparts.

Eva and I interviewed each other to learn more about our love for photography, how our interest for photography originated, our influences and more.

EVA JACQUELINE MECHAM

Age: 23

DOB: 06/03/1994 Gemini

Background: Portuguese/Lao/German/French

Born: Las Vegas, NV

Raised: East Side Las Vegas

Insta Handles: 

 @spottiottieva was the first personal instagram I ever had but it became more technical to show ALL my work through.

…so I created the other two pages to serve as multiple outlets of exposure exuding different variable factors.

Humans AND Environment. Lol.

@sweetleaf_phto is female energy only and conceptual portraits/groupshots.

@jacqueline_images is my art and street photo page.

Why/how did get into photography?

My grandfather. He documented just about everything. He passed away in 2011 but his legacy lives on. He lived a life beyond what photos could show. His family traveled from Spain to America during the 1920’s. His determination, discipline, will, focus, and attention to detail rooted in me and allowed me to open my mind to the idea of collecting and acquiring but with tangibility and substance.

Past my grandfather stimulating my lifestyle choices I felt that spark after I developed my first roll of film. Being able to hold a photo in your hands is truly magic in the simplest form. Photos have influenced me my entire life. Keeps me constantly reverting back to instances and wishing I could save moments to time travel to. Just like music or a scent, a photo can greatly alter your perception or mood.

Last, a major reason I ever pushed my photography skills beyond documentation was skateboarding. I was at a young age when I fell more and more in love with every skate mag or video I ever watched. Naturally I began sourcing all my inspiration and tones through how the skateboarding industry plastered my brain. It’s common to have these wild kids throw themselves off staircases with ease and dive into 12ft deep drops every day. Whether it was filmed with thousand dollar equipment or the cheapest vx setup, A-1 quality images and content has always been around. It wasn’t until I learned real anticipation taking a pre meditated flick of a skater in motion performing a trick repeatedly without near success till maybe the 20th try in, that I understood the feeling of that equation. That 21st key shot is a high. All that focus.

What does your photos mainly consist /focus on? Why?

My photo collection is a mix of portraits of friends I’ve built connections or bridges with while the other half is a handful of my travels, daily life, and streets I walk through. I have to mention I LOVE ART of ANY kind. Art embodied within all forms. Especially if it doesn’t belong somewhere or a rule was broken to make or keep it there. I believe in the idea that the world truly is ours so exercising the freedom to express ourselves is common law to me. Almost like a personal passion project. On the other hand my favorite subject to photograph are literal human hands. I’m fascinated by hands. Our hands are such beautiful blessings that we often take for granted. With our hands we can touch, create, hurt, destroy, clean, whatever it be. Our hands are multifaceted and a huge relatable connection between us all as humans. No one hand is the same. Like our eyes, I feel they are also portals to the soul.

You are all about empowering women. How do you convey this in your work?

Confidence can be instilled in many ways but I have never seen more confidence instilled within a female more than when she enjoys a photo of herself. Living in this overly extroverted world, it’s common to find that most women compare themselves to everyone. Even men. I know this to be true because I can testify myself. I’ve grown up riddled with anxieties I’ve whispered to my inner conscience for so many years, without even realizing it. A photo can translate emotions and feelings you didn’t know you had. A virtual avenue. A portable capsule of what existed at that time. There is growth in a photo. People glorify in the beauty of a butterfly but fail to remember the stages of growth it took to become that butterfly we see. So for me to be able to capture the growth of is something one of a kind to me. Anyone or anything can have it’s photo taken. But it’s all about the subject. I stress to validate the women in my photos through our shared experience and what they represent passionately. Who are these women and how can I uniquely translate what they have made me feel through a mere photo for the world to perceive.

Talk about your experience collaborating on this project.

Norma! I’m extremely flattered you would have asked me to be a part of this project as it is so pure and beautiful. I love to share my thoughts and feelings and often feel I am overlooked and underestimated. Every once and awhile I meet someone who makes me feel human and included at the same time. I look up to you Norma as you are an incredibly vivid photographer with natural ability only acquired through patience, growth, focus, determination, and skill. I often wish we had met sooner. But there is a reason for everything and the influence you have provided has guided me quite a bit. I truly love Jelly and KNOW without a doubt that dog has a great soul. I’m lucky to have friends who aspire to create, as this will be so enjoyable in my older years to look back on and cherish as I fade.

Who is your fav photographer?

This is probably the hardest question you put on here but I’d have to say my grandfather.

Whose work has influenced your work the most?

I honestly wouldn’t be able to narrow it down but i enjoy and source my inspiration from lots of the lasting images of these timeless talents below….

Keegan Gibbs (so fucking fire)-

Atiba Jefferson (skateboarding essentials)

Mike O’Meally (classic skateboarding essentials)

Henry Chalfant (innumerable amounts of graffiti documentation)

Tobin Yelland (filmy skateboard shots)

Duran Levinson (insane portrait photographer)

Craig Stecyk (Z-town documenter/skateboarding essentials)

JR (graffiti/wheatpastephotographer)

Martha Cooper (80’s legend in street art journalism)

Alex Fakso (skate & graffiti essentials)

Ruedi One (for those wet blk&wht artsy street nights)

Ed Templeton (almost forgot this legend)

Nan Goldin (female legend)

Haris Nukem (vivid portrait photographer)

Ruth Orkin (female legend)

Who are you currently listening to, music-wise?

I have this private playlist I made myself I play every morning after I get up to get ready for the day. I’m revealing the first 3 songs but the rest is secret.

Rebel without a pause-Public Enemy.

Leaving Babylon-Sublime.

If 6 was 9-Jimi Hendrix.

Besides the essentials I‘ve been playing a lot of lo-fi hip hop beats/scratches/mixups while I work or create lately.

I usually have either an Alchemist or Madlib CD in my car stereo. I use a lot of CD’s and cassettes lol. Let’s just say my auxiliary option is variably unreliable so CD’s are solid lol.

What is your favorite photo you’ve taken and why?

I thought for so long on how to answer this. Haha. I have to say that every photo is my favorite. Not to feed the ego or anything but maybe in other words I’m a hoarder. Any and all photos I take fall into my collection and that to me is something that holds my life’s work and ultimate value. My archive. The best way to put this answer into perspective is the idea that I’m not done yet. I’m still constantly & avidly pursuing higher dimensions through photography, through life, through myself. For me to choose a favorite photo would be for me to say that I’ve reached some finished point. Don’t get me wrong I have favorited shots over others but like I said I love every photo I take because I love life.

Digital or film? Why?

Film is permanent. Technology isn’t built to last forever. You don’t need technology shooting film. Art in a post apocalyptic world is a priority. Creating something tangible is far more lasting to me. Especially one with an element of surprise.

A fixed restriction makes you think twice, I’m sure. Film is exactly that. Knowing you have that limited amount of shots, each one seems to count more. Film is a spectrum balance between a premeditated photo or a foggy moment in time. I’m a fast paced shooter but with shooting film I catch myself staring at nothing till I see something. Essentially, it’s something that actually slows me down and I need that.

Movie you’d recommend an aspiring photographer to watch for inspo.

Recommendation for inspo for an aspiring photographer hmmmm!

I’d say watch any Tim Burton film. That’s a given. I’m a major fan ofTim Burton’s movies and stories.

Then I’d say, Across the Universe and Inherent Vice. And after that watch some of Quentin Tarantino’s films. Those are all classic.

FEMALE POWUR PLAYLIST

https://open.spotify.com/user/normal_genes/playlist/351NQKgAj4lfzEnuamHKAm?si=V4TwoqWoQgWXME8Rzlzh1A

EVA PHOTO GALLERY

S E T  1

  S E T  2

  S E T  3

  FILM SET

  NORMA JEAN ORTEGA aka NJ

Sign: Gemini

Background: Filipino American

Born: Las Vegas, NV

Being self-taught, how do you educate yourself on new ideas and techniques to take better pictures?

I can’t say I was self-taught because my dad was photographer. So I essentially grew up with the concept of photography. One of my first jobs was at this photo studio at Meadows Mall. I learned the basics in color balance, posing models and composition. College is where I got my formal training in photography. I learned how to shoot strictly in manuel when I took 3 years of black & white film photography and I became obsessed to say the least. Practicing photography in this manner gave me a sense of meaning behind the photos I took. I loved the idea of building a concept for the photos I had taken and embraced the idea of suspension and surprise.

But to answer your question, I learn new techniques by trail and error. Stick to one camera for a long period of time until I feel like I’ve mastered it then move on to the next. YouTube is also a thing. LOL. What is it that you want to say with your photographs, and how do you channel your work to illustrate that? Why? My personal photography documents moments and captures feelings that I like to look back on. A photo diary for the most part.

The subjects I touch on in my more serious work, aims to unpack what it means to be an Asian American female—of course from my own person experience. I express distressing feelings from my childhood, my feelings towards Asian stereotypes and dissect the standards of beauty in Asian culture.

When packing photo gear for a trip, what all do you take with you and why? My olympus stylus, fujifilm 400/800. A majority of the photos I take on a trip mimic the documentary style that I grew up with, however instead of focusing on people I try to focus on a moment and gut feeling that I am drawn to capture.

What motivates you to continue taking photos, whether it be socially, economically, politically, intellectually or emotionally? Everything is cathartic for me. It is a way to release a thought or feeling that I wouldn’t otherwise know how to express. Writing was my source of releasing this energy but through photography, I love how subjective it is to everyone else. You can share your work and get a complete different reaction or thought for what it was intended. But for me, when I look at my images, I know exactly how I felt and what I was struggling with at moment. It is somewhat of a reminder.

Within the aspect of women and social culture, what would you say is the difference between capturing beauty vs. vulgarity?

I think that what is considered vulgar for women is a popular theme in art, where artists are trying to breakdown that social norm for women. What was expected of women is being shattered by the “vulgar” images expressed by various female artists and photographers. It is essential, necessary and about fuckin’ time. To be lady-like was a standard put together by men and women are fully capable of conducting themselves however they see fit.

How did you develop an interest in photography and at what age were you?

Grew up around photography because of my dad. So I guess I always had an interest in photography. I grew up with a camera in my face and albums of albums of every major holiday and moment in my life. One of my first jobs was working in a photo studio called Photomania. Kids would go there to take their high school photos and basically trade them to each other like Pokemon cards. Hahah!

But working there was dope! I got to learn how to print from an old school printing machine. Had to clean that beast of a machine and take it apart every night. But I never took photography seriously until college. It’s when I finally learned about the greats (like Ansel Adams, Robert Frank, Cindy Sherman, and Weegee) that I completely got turned on to it.

Whose work has influenced you most, any favorites? Francesca Goodman, Nan Goldin, Ren Hang, Petra Collins, Carrie Mae Weems, Stanley Kubrick, Catherine Angel and Kimber Beck

When you are out shooting, how much of it is instinctual vs planned?

Half and half. And some times it’s completely spontaneous which is the best because when you feel that it’s the right moment, you just gotta go for it and pray that the photo comes out the way you wanted it to.

How has social media played a role in your photography?

It’s influenced me in the ways of curating my posts. Before, I just use to post whatever. But I think moving along the years of Instagram, I’ve seen how streamlined people can get with their style and feel of their photos. I also have my job to thank for that too.

While, I do curated my post, the work os still all mine. So I still see my Instagram as a photo journal but broken down into different segments.

What advice can you dish for any entry level photographers?

By a cheap camera and master it. Don’t buy into getting high quality gear until you find your style. Also, hang out with the local photographers you admire. You want to surround yourself with people who will push you to do better. A good piece of advice I learned from my cousin, Ez. Thanks cuh!

and of course i almost forgot….Talk about your experience collaborating on this project.

From our initial meeting at 6th & Franklin, I knew you we’re a go-getter! Actually, I hadn’t even met you yet but people we’re talking you up so hard that I was honestly intimidated. But real talk, I admire your constant drive to create work and your strive to improve your skills as a photographer. You are a walking and talking think-tank!

Doing this project was another project that I felt drawn to do, just like with my first Doublexposure guest, Andi. Everything I pursue in terms of interviews is purely for the need to connect with people who I admire. I am proud for what you stand for as an artist and I will support you every step of the way. Love ya girl 😘

NORMA JEAN PHOTO GALLERY

SET 1

  SET 2

  SET 3

  FILM SET

  Double Exposure: Featuring Eva Mecham Double Exposure is a collaborative series that features the work of an admired artist. LightLeaks second featured artist is…

[TRANSLATION] NYLON Korea Magazine December 2014 issue x GOT7: boys to men

Before long, you will be a year older. How does it feel to become a man?

JB It feels as if the place you can lean on is disappearing. When you’re young, there are many people who can help take care of you, but when you become an adult, you need to be responsible for yourself. Isn’t the shouldering of all the responsibility a part of the process of becoming an adult?

Jr. Since the things you can do tend to increase more and more, it seems like it would be a feeling of freedom. Because of your status as a student, there are things that the people around you look out for you, but when you become an adult, I’m afraid that there won’t be things like that. I hope that I won’t just get older in age and remain an overgrown adult.

What do you think an adult is?

JB Being caring and understanding. It’s something that I still don’t have yet.

Yugyeom While putting themselves in another person’s shoes and being able to think like them and listening well to what they say, that is the image of an adult.

Jackson I think an adult is taking responsibility for one’s own decisions.

Jr. Enduring for a long time. I mean, when you look at adults, there’s the ‘As if it wasn’t bad enough that you’ve gotten older in age…’ Adults can also have thoughts like a child and there are even times when they act childishly. However, I think expressing that (those feelings) is the image of a child, and enduring without expressing it is an adult. However, when all is said and done, an adult is wrinkles, isn’t it! Haha.

Youngjae Isn’t being homely and resembling my serious father an adult?

When you become an adult, what do you think will change?

Jackson I have them now too, but in the future, my facial wrinkles will become deeper. I will be a bit more humble, and I will more desperately realize my shortcomings.

Youngjae My outer appearance won’t be greatly different, but my inner self will be deeper.

Mark Perhaps because I was born in America, but I can’t feel any big differences. When you become an adult, there are no big differences. It’s just the situation becomes different. Unlike in America, having to do everything by yourself is a bit overwhelming. You even have to take care of your own food to eat and organize your clothes by yourself. The biggest difference is the appearance of a sense of responsibility in your daily life.

BamBam Since I’m still young, there are more things that I can’t do, but when I become an adult, I think it will feel like I can break down that wall. I’ll be like, ‘I’m free now!’

Do you have any fantasies about becoming an adult?

JB Somehow, when you become an adult, can’t you drive with one hand… When I watch dramas, the handsome main character wears sunglasses and drives with one hand. That looks cool.

Jackson When you become an adult, it’s more like your fantasies get shattered. When you are young, you don’t care when you make a mistake, but when you become an adult, the situation becomes different. If you make a big mistake, you could go to jail.

Is there a person you have admired for a long time?

Jackson While I admire my father, I also respect him because of his attitude of never giving up until the end. I want to become a person like my dad.

Yugyeom Chris Brown, who gave me the dream to become a singer. I fell in love when I watched the 2012 Grammy Awards.

Jr. Park Jinyoung PD-nim. It’s amazing that we have the same name, and we have this connection where I was born in 1994 and PD-nim debuted in that same year. We have many things in common.

BamBam It seems like Jr. hyung’s dream has come true. Ever since I was a child, I liked Rain sunbaenim. Following what my mom liked, I watched the dramas Rain sunbaenim appeared in and music shows, so I naturally came to like him. Because I was selected to become a singer while doing a Rain sunbaenim dance cover, he’s even more special to me.

JB I also wanted to meet Rain sunbaenim the most when I became a celebrity. Since our promotions overlapped, I met him once, and since his build was bigger than I had thought, I was surprised. It was to the degree that all the members were exclaiming, “So big!” He was wearing a suit and had extended his hand out for a handshake, and like a hip-hop-er, greeted us memorably with a “Yo!”

Youngjae For me, Yoo Jae Suk sunbaenim. He resembles my father. Especially the big and red nose. Haha. His personality is good, and his kind appearance is warm. Ever since the first season of <Infinite Challenge>, <Rash Challenge>, I’ve been a faithful viewer, never missing an episode. Recently, watching <Infinite Challenge> is still my greatest joy.

Mark Because I actually have no particular dream, I also don’t have a figure that I admire. To me, it’s more important that I live life to the fullest while enjoying the day.

Jackson Living as best as you can, as if today is your last. Now that I think about it, Mark hyung’s answer is really cool! The members have never, not even once, all gathered together and had a serious talk like this, so it’s awkward. We originally aren’t the serious type. Haha.

The look on your faces of unfamiliarity with each other, amazing.

Jackson Come to think of it, until now, we’ve never asked each other what do you like, what kinds of things do you prefer. In our dorms, we either joke around with each other, or we sleep after we finish our schedules since we are busy. The thing I say the most in the dorm is, “You’re not sleeping?” Haha.

If something you like were to come up, wouldn’t you want to boast about it? Also, I would think that amongst the members who have similar interests, you’d be able to communicate well.

BamBam In the past, we didn’t talk, but recently, we often talk about movies we see.

Jr. I was impressed by <Gone Girl>. It’s the best amongst the movies I’ve seen recently! You can’t help but to be absorbed by the story that repeatedly twists the twists, and since the actors act well, it was quite interesting to watch.

Yugyeom In the dorm, I watched <My Love, My Bride> with BamBam and Jackson hyung. It’s a fantasy about marriage, so while we watched the movie, we thought, if we all got married, ‘Will we change like the movie’s main character? In what order would the things change?’ Since it was a happy ending, I was pleased.

BamBam We watched it while continuously screaming. Because we really liked it and because we were excited.

JB I like movies that bring to mind memories. I enjoy watching animation. Recently, I watched the 12th Crayon Shin-chan movie <Crayon Shin-chan: The Storm Called! The Kasukabe Boys of the Evening Sun>, and I was somehow delighted by it. I’ve probably seen it more than 5 times?

Youngjae I also like animation like JB hyung. I’m a huge fan, to the point that I’ve seen every episode of <One Piece>. I enjoy watching the main character Luffy grow through his interactions with various people as he dreams of becoming the King of the Pirates. While I brood over the subject of developing into a new person, my feeling of also wanting to become like that seems to get bigger.

Mark I’m the type that doesn’t really like movies. If there is free time, the only thing I want to do is rest. Haha.

What is the worst thing that has happened to you that you remember?

JB It’s not the worst incident but…. I went on a program once as a guest. In order to stand out as a main character, I should have worked hard, but I was lacking in sense. I also couldn’t do ments well…. In any case, I couldn’t do my part properly. The director even made a loud noise while saying, “You aren’t concentrating?” I’m still dizzy now, thinking of that time.

Jr. We had plans to film our mini-album music video in Thailand, but at that time, a coup d’etat happened, and there was a ban placed on entering the country. We changed the destination in a hurry and went to Malaysia to film, but the problem was that we hadn’t prepared our clothes. Up until the day before we departed from Korea, we couldn’t even do our fitting for our clothes, our hearts felt urgent, and so when we arrived in Malaysia, it became a sleepless night. When I say it now, it’s nothing, but at that time, I was worried, ‘Won’t everything get scrapped?’

Youngjae On the broadcasted <After School Club> this past year, I was supposed to read ‘Live’ as ‘liv,’ but since I said ‘la-ive,’ I became a laughing stock. After that, I have devoted myself to studying English. I also didn’t know, but I guess I have an overly stubborn personality. Haha.

Jackson Rather than the worst, I will talk about a difficult situation. Not too long ago, I was fixed to appear on MBC <Quiz to Change the World> for about three months. I’d get tired from the long recordings for 8-10 hours a day, but I still really worked hard on my reactions. Laughing, clapping, like a hot-blooded audience member. However, I did not stand out as much as I expected. I will make bigger reactions in the future!

Is there something that people have come to overestimate or underestimate you on?

Yugyeom During <Real GOT7>, I was the subject of a hidden camera. With the theme of ‘Make Yugyeom cry!’, the hyungs seriously went through with the situation. At that time, I only cried once, but people thought I was a crybaby. Every person I met would say, ‘Is it true you cry often/easily?’

Jackson People remember me for my mischievious image, but actually, I am an extremely serious person. I wanted to tell you that.

JB I’ve never thought about how people think of me, so I don’t know how I should respond.

Jr. JB hyung is exactly the same as what you see. Bad boy! Chic man!

JB But I’m not the chic style… Since I look like a cold person, I guess that modifier just stuck to me.

Yugyeom Actually, JB hyung is clumsy. He has an extremely cute side.

Like how, for example?

Yugyeom JB hyung will say, “Really, let’s do the choreography properly. You absolutely must not make a mistake,” but he will be the only one to do it wrong. He’s a hyung, but he looks cute.

Jr. JB is even funnier during promotions. He says, “Even if we have a lot of schedules, however tired you may be, let’s not sleep,” and actually, he is the one to sleep on the floor.

JB I definitely did not sleep!

Jackson There really is one more cute incident. A few days ago, I ordered McDonald’s chicken wings, but without me knowing, JB took them all and ate them. There is no proof, but I am certain of it.

JB I really didn’t eat them!

Jackson Keeping this image until the end of trying to get out of things is extremely cute. Hahaha.

When do you feel, I have become an entirely different person?

BamBam When I get make-up done. When I do the cleansing, I’m surprised, thinking, ‘I look like this?’

JB When I get on stage, I get the feeling that the tendencies I originally had have changed.

Yugyeom When I dance. In the past, I was uncomfortable, and I had a very shy personality, but while doing promotions, I changed.

Youngjae When I draw. I’m not the skilled type, but some day, I want to personally design our album jacket.

Jackson I am always me. If I have to say when I become a different person, it’s when I’m in front of Park Jinyoung PD-nim. In the past, he was really scary. Because of the aura PD-nim has, I would somehow get intimidated, and I couldn’t speak properly. Probably because when you’re a trainee, you don’t know when you could get kicked out, so I was afraid of that. However, now we’ve become close to the degree that I call him hyung.

You must have been upset.

Jackson It’s okay. That’s society, after all.

Jr. Because a Hong Kong person said it like that, it’s amazing.

Jackson It’s because in Hong Kong, we have the same saying!

If you were to tell us one side of yourself that people don’t know well?

Jr. The images I have in front of friends and in front of adults are different. Even if I’m joking around endlessly with friends, if adults come, I become serious. It’s because we need to have respect towards our elders. That was a bit uninteresting. Haha.

Mark Mm, if I compare myself to my past personality, it seems a lot has changed. If what we thought was different, I would often fight with my friends, but now, even if we have the same conversation, I suppose there isn’t a big impression. Sometimes, if something happens, my friends say, “Why didn’t you get angry? You changed!” Oddly enough, I don’t really know where I’ve changed.

Rather than you being the one who changed, isn’t it the people’s attitudes towards Mark that changed?

Jackson That’s right. There is that part too. I feel that all the members before and after debut are not hugely different. If there is something that changed after becoming a singer, it’s getting on the stage, of course.

Amongst the promises the members have made with each other, what is the most important one?

Yugyeom Rather than a promise, we said that we’d go to the end with the name ‘GOT7.’ Whether we do solo promotions or units, we shall not forget one another.

BamBam Mm, we’ve made a lot of minor promises. If you eat in the living room, the person who ate has to clean up! However, there is no one who cleans.

JB We made a promise not to put toilet paper in the toilet….

Jackson Did we really make that promise? This is something I’m hearing for the first time.

JB It’s okay for your own room to be messy, but the bathroom we use together, the living room, and the kitchen need to be kept clean.

Jr. JB has a bit of mysophobia (fear of germs). Haha.

It seems like it’s been five years since your debut, and finally, you’ve released a full album.

Yugyeom I hope it goes well. The artists at our company also all liked our album.

Jackson Although I don’t feel like the album is overdue, rather than being pressed for time, I thought, let’s make this good. You can expect it to be good.

What is the song you are most attached to from this album?

JB The title song, ‘Stop Stop It.’

BamBam I also like the title song the most. My hairstyle came out well in this song too. Hahaha. The members teased me for looking like a character from a loans advertisement, but now, I like it.

Mark I’m the type that likes R&B and hip-hop and enjoys songs that are sung low. Therefore, I have a lot of attachment to ‘Moonlight.’

Jr. ‘Take My Hand.’ In my life, I had never heard a compliment saying I sang well, but with this song, I received my first compliment. I pretended to stay calm on the outside, but inside, I really liked it.

Jackson Mm, I like the songs called ‘Just Tonight’ and ‘Moonlight’ the most. Since they are the songs I personally did the rap-making for, my affection for them is great.

How do you hope people will listen to this album?

Jackson How should they listen? Do I need to say to listen with your ear?

Yugyeom Haha. Since you can’t hear it with your mouth.

BamBam I think they are good songs to sing when a man is confessing to a woman. The lyrics can be somewhat cringeworthy, but they are romantic.

JB Men should listen to our songs with a feeling of, ‘I’m being hooked like a fish by one woman.’ After all, there are a lot of parts that they can identify with.

Mark That’s right. That is this album’s concept, after all.

Jr. If you are a person who likes songs that feel old, you must listen to our album. A majority of our songs have an old-school feel to them, so you will be able to happily listen to them.

Scan credit: Winter Boy

Translated by: @michelleeshk

Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? I don’t judge people for just believing in God, but I do slightly judge them on how they believe. I’ll leave it at that.

Do you ever brush your teeth in the shower? I have.

Has your printer ever stopped working at the last minute and you had a paper due the next day? What did you do? Definitely. I’ve asked my dad to print things at work before, or I’ve just printed it at school the next day.

Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? Sometimes, yes.

Do you have a girl that is strictly a friend that isn’t related to you that you can go to? I’m confused by the wording of this question.

Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? I have, actually. I used to try to let one hand dry before I did the other and a few times I’d lose interest in painting the other hand by the time that happened.

Have you ever tried sucrets? I have no idea what that is.

Would you date someone that smokes? I have. Mark used to smoke.

What about drinks? Yeah.

Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? If I have I didn’t notice.

Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? With the situation I am in right now, my sister and her husband definitely make me feel like the bad guy.

Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? No. I’ve erased entire questions before though.

Person you like shows up at your house: you … We live together, so.

Last person you talked on the phone with? Some lady at work yesterday. She called the wrong number.

Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? Yes.

Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? Yep, my sister is 37.

Will tomorrow be better than today? Who knows.

What do you hear right now? People are installing heat in our building.

What was the last thing to go into your mouth? Tea.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them? I try to, if it’s really bothering me.

Honestly, how is your heart lately? My blood pressure is a little on the high side.

Do you miss anyone? Yes.

Are you waiting for a phone call? Nope.

If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? My exes are all irrelevant so I don’t really care what they think about me.

What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? Good for them.

What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? It’s cute.

What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check the time.

Are you looking forward to anything? Our mini honeymoon to the Wilderness.

How late did you stay up last night? 11:30.

Do you truly hate anyone? Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo? I have 8 and I’d like more.

In the past forty-eight hours, have you hung out with a girl? My cat, haha.

Were you happy when you woke up today? No.

If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? No.

Would you rather go back a week or go forward? Back so I can eat crab legs on new years eve again.

Would you ever smile at a stranger? Yeah.

Who was the last person to text you? My neighbor.

What are you doing today? Working, going to the store to get a few things for dinner, going to the gym.

Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? Nope.

Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? Yes.

Have you ever been so bored that you started drooling on yourself? No.

Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? No.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? Yeah.

Want to get smashed tonight? I’m good.

What time are you getting up tomorrow? Before 6am, like every work day.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? For the most part.

Think back to last June; were you single? Nope.

How did you feel when you woke up today? Tired.

Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? Yes.

Describe how you feel right now. Sleepy. Feeling a little under the weather too.

Would you date someone three years older than you? Marry him, even.

Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Either.

Do you think more about the past, present, or future? All of it.

Are you okay with the life you live? Yes.

Could you handle living with the last person you texted? Since the last survey I have now text Kayla. So, I mean, possibly? At this point in our lives we are both in long term relationships so that might not be something either of us were interested in, but I still have this fantasy where all my friends and I live under one roof so we are always close to each other.

Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? For fun.

Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? It’s January 3rd.

If you could go forward in time and see your life 5 years from now, what would you hope to see? A healthier me and a good relationship with my sister.

Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? There are “adult” movie rental stores still haha.

What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? They are installing heat in our building and it’s SO loud.

Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? I feel like Aubrey Plaza and I would be a great match.

When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? I usually stick to what I know. I’ve been trying to get into new shows. Brooklyn 99 is my latest new show but I haven’t watched it since before Christmas oops.

Have you ever been ditched by someone only to find them out and about with someone else? I found out about it later.

How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I got them removed August 2016.

What is the last song you sang out loud? Bleach Blonde Baby by Poppy.

Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? The job I am at now.

Have you ever been fired from a job? No.

What do people tell you your voice sounds like? My sister’s voice.

What financial class are you? I guess middle? Lower middle? I have no idea.

What poster is hanging closest to you? The school I work for’s logo.

What time did you go to bed last night? 11:30.

Do you watch any reality shows? Sometimes.

Are you more comfortable with men or women? It depends on the person.

Do you think you’re fat? I know I am fat.

Have you ever borrowed money from someone and never repaid them? Probably oops.

Do you have a pet cat? I do!

What is worse: physical or emotional pain? Both are awful, but emotional pain seems to go deeper and last longer.

How is your hair? It’s a mess. Luckily it’s cold in here so I can hide it under a hat all day!!

Who was the last person who called you? My dad.

How long does it take you to fall asleep at night? Not long these days.

How many people have you had strong feelings for in the year of 2012? One.

What are you doing for your next birthday? No idea. I’m really not thinking about that.

Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? If it was my husband, yes.

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough, you’ll get it? I mean, you gotta work for it.

Last movie you watched? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Who were you with? Mark was in the room.

Who came over last? My dad.

Have you ever wanted to be a ballet dancer? No.

Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? Ugh, my grandmother HOARDS food and then never fucking eats it.

Favourite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. Chandler.

Skullcandy headphones, yay or nay? Sure.

Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? No.

Do you love when people remember little things about you? Yes.

Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? No.

How many phones have you gone through? Maybe like 5 or 6.

Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? Nope.

Do you think your future will be a good one? Who knows.

update: lmao I am so fucking doped up right now. sorry to the world that I got behind on shimamatsu translations, but have you ever tried to translate while on muscle relaxants? it’s a bad scene. god, I’m in a lot of pain rn.

gonna talk about some of the movies from the film festival below the cut. doped up af but I’ve seen like 14 movies so far, hella. tomorrow I probably have to skip bc I just took two cyclos and that is gonna fuck me the hell up.

movies I’d recommend:

thelma a norwegian film which is basically a coming-of-age story for a fundie christian girl who goes to college and realizes she’s a lesbian. oh, and that she has insane supernatural powers. (it’s kind of carrie-ish but with canon f/f, but imo a lot better than carrie.) the love story is really interesting, if incredibly dark. like if you’re in the mood for dark, kind of mindfuck-y f/f, this is your film. despite the very long upcoming list of potential triggers, it’s not as scary or brutal as it sounds. lmao. highly recommended, probably the film I’ve enjoyed most so far. (tw: violence, nudity, drug use, death, [spoilers] child abuse, possible mind control, child death)

custody a french film based on a short film that I saw a few years ago, and it’s fantastic and gut-wrenching. the short film was about a woman running away from her abusive husband with her children; this feature-length film is about what happens when a stupid judge ignores what both the wife and children have to say and gives him joint custody. (spoilers: it doesn’t end well.) interestingly, it has all the same cast as the original short film, though the kids are markedly older. idk if it’s meant to be a straight sequel or if one just inspired the other. really well done, tho, I was fuckin white-knuckling it in the theater. people were like. yelling. the climax of that film is INTENSE. probably the best quality film we’ve seen so far, though I think the plot could’ve been tightened up a little. (tw: very explicit depictions of physical and emotional abuse, very terrifying moments. [spoilers] but no child death.)

I, Tonya tonya harding biopic. I’m not really a big one for biopics, but this was a good one. it tried to explain how harding’s life led her to where she got, but didn’t necessarily paint her as some innocent victim. it was sympathetic where it needed to be, empathetic where it needed to be, but rarely let her get away with bullshit. lot of good performances here, but Margot Robbie (even though she looked way too old for the part) did a great job. (tw: explicit child/spousal abuse)

the villainess Korean lady-gets-revenge-on-shitty-men bloody action flick. not really my genre, admittedly, but I feel like anyone who likes this kind of movie would really enjoy this one. very Kill Bill-esque. it’s the story of this girl who basically gets passed around between illicit assassination organizations, in-fighting, revenge on all those who wronged her, etc. it is Very Bloody and many people die. the action scenes are HQ if you are into that kind of thing. I was mostly invested in the huge amounts of f/f potential. like at one point she joins an assassin organization where all the operatives are female and that whole part of the movie!! was very gay!! the actual canon relationships are het, but there is a strong potential for dark f/f murderwives here. (tw: haha oh boy if it’s a problem it’s probably here. implied CSA, child abuse, creepy relationships, violence, gore, nudity, child death, everyone else death, non-con facial surgery...like it’s bloody af okay...)

love means zero this is a documentary about nick bollettieri, who’s this super famous tennis coach. (apparently.) I knew next to nothing about the world of professional tennis going into this documentary, but I still enjoyed it bc wtf this guy is a piece of work. it’s basically all about how he fucked over a ton of people (especially kids) when he was trying to make tennis champions. and how he succeeded! by fucking over a ton of people! the interviews with him are honestly kind of wild bc he’s just such a crazy narcissist. this was especially weird for me to watch bc I grew up in the sarasota/bradenton area and never even knew all this shit was going on there. it was weird seeing my hometown on the screen like that, but also interesting. (tw: child abuse, just generally being a fuckboi)

MOVIES THAT WERE OKAY but like I had Issues

brimstone and glory I feel like I really recommend going out to see this one if you can see it on the big screen. it’s a documentary about a fireworks festival in Mexico and honestly the cinematography is stunning. it’s just so, so, so cool. but the actual documentary part is kind of boring sometimes, and you gotta have a strong stomach bc it also shows some of the injuries people get at this insane festival. like I don’t think showing that is a bad thing; I think it’s the only responsible way to make a documentary about this festival. like it’s amazing, it’s so cool, but also these people are like. going blind, losing hands, dying. and taking their kids!! like if you cannot handle watching kids in dangerous situations, don’t go!! dad was freaking out, lmao. (tw: graphic depiction of real-life injuries)

radiance a Japanese film about a woman who writes audio description for blind movie-goers. the same director made An (Sweet Bean Paste) a couple years ago, which was notable for its depiction of what Japan does to its citizens who have Hansen’s Disease. (leprosy.) it was weird to me when that movie came out that none of the reviewers really talked about that aspect of the movie; they were all like “UGH IT WAS SO POINTLESS AND CLOYING” and I’m like “did you miss the point of the movie?? which was critiquing the social ostracization of these people in Japanese society??? did that completely go over your heads????” anyway, I appreciated the depiction of PWD in Japan bc having lived there while disabled, I know that shit isn’t easy. that’s why I went to go see radiance. it was...okay? I think the most interesting part was when they let the blind characters talk. the movie was otherwise pretty pretentious and self-indulgent. lmao. like... it’s a rent, don’t buy situation.

marlina the murderer in four acts this movie was not bad! it’s an indonesian film about a woman whose home is invaded and she kills all the invaders. it’s definitely a film that critiques misogyny in indonesian culture, but I feel like it undercut its own message by showing such incredibly graphic rapes. like honestly, I don’t really ever recommend movies that have very graphic rape scenes, but I guess she does end up killing her rapists during the rape scenes. I just. I feel like it could have been done in a way that won’t get people all sexually excited while watching a violent rape. : / y’know? other than that, though, I really liked the female characters in the movie and sympathized with marlina’s journey trying to get society to help her and realizing she had to just go it alone with her female friends. bc like. she’s attacked by men, but she’s also revictimized by shitty ordinary men all the time she’s trying to get to town, report the attack, etc. and so are the other female cahracters. so they just. have to be vigilantes. (tw: GRAPHIC rape, violence, mild gore, spousal abuse)

newton Indian film about a guy going out to the jungle to get votes in the main election. but like. none of the people out there even know who the candidates are, there’s a lot of anti-government violene, the villagers are caught between anarchists and the police, it’s just a mess. and I do think the movie was good at showing the futility of it all and showing how the people who really end up getting fucked over are the poor people in rural areas, but at the same time like. pacing was uneven, tone was ???, and I found the protagonist irritating. and there was what appeared to be some pasted on het which made no sense. (like honestly I cannot figure out why she ever wanted to talk to his dumb ass again.)

blade of the immortal it’s takashi miike making blade of the immortal. I mean. I feel like if you are familiar with those names, you already know if you want to see it or not. if you aren’t, idk how much you’d like it anyway. after already having watched miike’s ace attorney adaptation, I sense a pattern. the guy just looks at a HUGE corpus (like a VG with 5 cases, or a manga with 40 volumes) and is like “welll....then I guess we better make things fast.” so you have Big Bads being introduced in the same breath that they get killed, 30-second backstories, just a frenetic pace and a huge amount of information, and it’s confusing and overwhelming if you don’t already know it. and honestly, I haven’t read BotI so I can’t say how faithful this was. but if you already love the characters and just want miike’s trademark bloody action flick style, then I mean. fair enough. this here’s a bloodbath. I had a hard time getting emotionally invested as a fresh viewer, tho. highlight of the evening: an old man walking out grumbling about how he only likes classy martial arts movies, and apparently this did not qualify. having seen a lot of classics of the martial arts genre, still unsure what a “classy” martial arts film looks like. (tw: offscreen rape, death, blood, gore, just an unreasonable amount of killing honestly like it was funny by the end, attempted CSA)

gemini this is a “neo-noir” thriller. so essentially a murder mystery. unfortunately, the title of the movie basically gives away the entire story lmao. so while the build-up wasn’t bad, the entire last 15-20 minutes of the movie are a total letdown. it was nice to see canon f/f, I guess, but I feel like the movie never went in hard enough on that. like were they trying to make a point about how hard it is for celebrities to have same-sex relationships? I’m not sure!! I can think of a lot of things that would make this plot more interesting, but they just didn’t do them. acting was fine, I guess. John Cho was in it, even if his character was pointless. Zoe Kravitz is always fun. (tw: I mean it’s a murder mystery. so...murder.)

DID NOT ENJOY

scaffolding (israeli film, boring af)

the workshop (french film, kind of boring, makes questionable points about neo-nazis)

109.

About You & Your Background Do you know where you were conceived?:: no idea. australia i’m assuming How old were your parents when they had you?:: my mum was 25, dad 32. Were your parents married?:: yes. What is the meaning of your name?:: the goddess of wine. Did your parents have any other names picked out?:: yeah. the only one i know of is erica.

Do you share a birthday with anyone?:: bek and my mum’s friend, jane. Do you look more like your mom or dad?:: i’m a perfect mix of both tbh. What is your heritage(s)?:: filipino. Can you speak any of those languages?:: i can fully understand. i’m a bit rusty when i speak it, but it’s possible. Do you consider yourself “normal”?:: normal enough. How do people usually spell your name?:: wrong. especially since my name is spelt differently to the usual way. Have you always lived where you live now?:: no. since ‘99. Do you wish you were taller, shorter, or the height you are?:: a little taller. Do you have a religion?:: i do, but i don’t practice it much. Were you raised as a certain religion?:: catholic. Do you have any relatives of other races?:: hmmm i gues. Do you have any step-relatives?:: nope. Do you have any pets?:: a dog. Do you go to school?:: not anymore. Have you ever considered dropping out of school?:: nope. Do you ever talk to yourself?:: only in my head. If you were an animal, which would you be?:: a panda. Do you have siblings?:: one sister. How old are they?:: 19. Are any married / have kids?:: nope. Where do you like to hang out?:: home, mall, friend’s houses etc. Who do you hang out with the most?:: my boyfriend. What do you like to do in your free time?:: sleep, eat, cook, shop.

Relationships & Friends

Do you have a boyfriend / girlfriend?:: yes. What is their name?::   dwayne. What is their age?:: 26. Where did you meet them?:: through friends. When did you start dating?:: back in 2009 lol. Do you have any mutual friends?:: yes. plenty. How do your parents feel about him / her?:: they like him. How do your friends feel about him / her?:: they like him too. How do YOU feel about him / her?:: i love him. just going through a bit of a rough patch. Do your friends have a lot of influence on who you date?:: no. How many exes do you have?:: wouldn’t really count any. Are you friends with any of them?:: - What was your longest relationship?:: my one now. nearly eight years. Why did it end?:: it hasn’t. Which friends can you tell almost anything to?:: probably irene. Do you have friends that you just can’t talk about certain things with?:: yes, definitely. i’ve learnt my lessons. Are your friends virgins?:: tbh i can’t think of anyone who is. Do your friends drink or do drugs?:: all my friends drink. some have/do drugs but nothing serious. Would you say you have a lot of acquaintances or a few very close friends?:: few close friends. Do you consider your parents your friends?:: no lol. Do you have any furry friends?:: like a pet? haha.

Sex

Are you a virgin?:: no. Do you believe in waiting until marriage?:: in this day and age, not really. i feel like you should know each other in and out before committing.  Have you / would you ever have casual sex?:: never have. not sure if i would. Do you need to love someone to have sex?:: for me, yes. What do you feel is the appropriate age to have sex?:: whenever the person is ready i guess. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?:: i have. Do you think you make the right choices when it comes to sex?:: yes. Have you ever “sexted” someone?:: i have, years ago. i don’t do that shit anymore. Have you had sex under the age of 18?:: yes. Do you feel awkward buying condoms?:: i would but there’s no reason to. Are you on the birth control pill?:: yes. Is having sex against your religion?:: before marriage, yes. Does the amount of sexual partners someone has had, matter?:: to a certain extent only for like disease purposes.  Have you ever been tested for STD’s?:: no. Do you ever lie about how many people you’ve been with?:: no. Do you have any sexual fetishes that you’d like to share?:: i don’t think i even have any. Foreplay: Yay or Nay?:: yay. Drugs & Alcohol Have you ever drank alcohol?:: yes. Have you drank to the point of being drunk?:: yes. Have you / do you smoke cigarettes?:: yes. Have you done any inhalants? (Pot, cocaine, meth, other inhalants):: yes. pot and coke. Have you done any intravenous drugs? (Heroin, morphine, other opiates):: nope. Have you / do you do drugs regularly?:: no. Have you drank more than 3 shots in a row?:: three was my limit lol. Do you feel that some drugs are more dangerous than others?:: definitely. Should any drugs be legal?:: idk. Why do you feel that way?:: haven’t given it much thought.  Have you ever sold drugs?:: no. Have you ever bought drugs?:: yes. Ever watered down your parents’ alcohol so you could drink it?:: no. Are you straight edge?:: no. Are drugs more helpful or hurtful in your opinion?:: hurtful. except weed. Did your parents used to drink or do drugs?:: tbh my parents weren’t drinkers and never did drugs after they had me. they were smokers though. Does that affect your choice in doing / not doing them?:: no. Have you ever tripped on acid?:: no, don’t think i’d ever try acid. Do you take prescription drugs when you don’t need them?:: no. Do you take OTC drugs when you don’t need them?:: no.

Politics, Religion, & Philosophy Do you have a political affiliation?:: no. Are you more liberal or conservative?:: liberal. Does the government have too much power?:: obviously. Is America too intrusive in other countries?:: i don’t know much about this shit seeing as i’m not american, but seeing shit on the news makes me think yes. Is the Iraq War a war on terrorism?:: to some extent. Do you support the troops?:: well yeah. How would you feel if the draft was reinstated?: i’d feel pretty sad for the men around me. Should ANY country be allowed to have WMD’s?:: sorry to say, idk what that stands for. How do you feel about biological warfare?::   pretty fucked up tbh. Is war necessary to solve conflicts?:: at this rate i don’t think it’ll ever solve any conflicts. Have you / would you consider joining the military?:: no. Do you think gay people should be allowed to join the military?:: of course. Should gay marriage be legal?:: yes. Are you pro-life or pro-choice?:: pro choice ultimately. If a woman is raped, should she be forced to have the child anyways?:: no. Should there be an age limit on birth control?:: no. but obviously a 9yo shouldn’t be taking it. Should schools give out condoms?:: yeah but knowing the idiots in my high school there would’ve been a shitload of condom balloons flying around everywhere. Should creationism and evolution be taught side by side in schools?:: well both were taught in my school. Should there be harsher laws for drunk drivers?:: yes. Should all people have access to medical marijuana?:: if it’s needed. Is there such a thing as “God-given” rights?:: i guess. Is marriage an outdated concept in today’s society?:: yes and no. Is statutory rape really rape?:: this is a bit of a grey area. if one is 16 and the other is 17 i don’t think it’s much of a difference. in cases where the minor was clearly taken advantage of, then yeah i’d consider it stat rape. Do you agree with age of consent laws?:: yeah i guess. Do you believe there is a meaning to life?:: hopefully! Do you believe there is an after-life?::   we’ll all end up finding out someday. Do you believe in karma?:: sorta. Do you believe in any forms of magic / witchcraft?:: nah. What religion BEST fits your beliefs?:: i don’t really know. i was raised catholic and believe certain values but i don’t really practice it. Is the bible complete bullshit?:: i don’t think so. Are some things simply unexplainable?:: yes. Do you believe in the supernatural? (ghosts, etc.):: shit creeps me out but nah. Should the drinking age be raised, lowered, or kept the same?: in australia it’s 18. i think that’s fair. Does the government have the right to intervene gangs and cults?:: yes. Should health care be universal?:: yes. Could peace on Earth ever be achievable?:: haha not while i’m alive. Do you believe there is life on other planets?:: maybe not in our solar system but probably in the universe. Does astrology hold some truth to it or is it just nonsense?:: haha i don’t get astrology. Can someone really be psychic?:: i don’t think so.

Have You Ever…. kissed on the first date?:: hallucinated?:: baked a cake?:: dated someone 5 or more years older than you?:: dated someone 5 or more years younger than you?:: seriously considered marriage?:: seriously been engaged?:: witnessed a crime?:: fallen asleep in a pool?:: found an error on a receipt?:: been on a cruise?:: been to Disneyworld or Disneyland?:: ate squid?:: played strip poker?:: sent someone a naughty photo?:: talked to a celebrity?:: lied about your age?:: been to a bar?:: been bought a drink?:: been recognized from online?:: had sex with the window shades open?:: had sex in a place other than a bed?:: made out for more than 1 hour?:: failed a midterm or final exam?:: flirted with a teacher?:: wore your boyfriend / girlfriend’s clothing?:: talked your way out of something?::

The Last Time You… ate a snack?:: today. met someone new?:: a couple days ago. talked on the phone?:: today. went to a store?:: today. went to school?:: years ago. kissed someone?:: two days ago. crossed a street?:: yesterday. had sex?:: a week ago. watched a movie?:: right now. ate a popsicle?:: hmm maybe a month ago. went to the beach?:: start of the year. went to a concert?:: april. went for a walk?:: today. held someone’s hand?:: i forgot. aced a test?:: years ago. updated your facebook status?:: years ago lol. smoked a cigarette?:: a couple hours ago. saw your boyfriend / girlfriend?:: two days ago. went out to dinner?:: last night. checked your email?:: today.

1136

Name 10 friends.

1. Rita 2. Laurice 3. Lui 4. Angela 5. Kate 6. Jo 7. Blanch 8. Aya 9. Leigh 10. Kaye

Number 1

Who was 1's first boyfriend/girlfriend? I don’t think Rita’s ever dated anyone before? She’s probably had crushes, but she would definitely share with us if she were seeing someone.

Has 1 ever made you cry? Nope, as far as I know she hasn’t.

What's 1's natural hair colour? Black.

When was the last time you saw 1? Sometime in February, I would say. Before the pandemic. We both served terms in our org’s board so we definitely had a meeting together sometime then.

How many siblings does 1 have? 4. Three sisters - two older and one younger - and one older brother.

Number 2

Is 2 in a relationship right now? I don’t believe so. We used to tease her that she’ll for sure get a partner before she graduates college, but that seems murky now because online classes :( It’s probably not a priority for her anyway.

What are 2's parents called? If I remember correctly her mom is named Malou...as for her dad, I don’t recall anymore but I’m pretty sure it starts with an E, haha.

Can 2 sing, or play any instruments? She sings, but I’m not sure if she plays an instrument. Most likely the piano, if anything.

Who does 2 live with? She lives with her immediate family and maternal grandmother.

The last time you hung out with 2, what did you do? I genuinely have no idea. I know I didn’t see her on my last Real day in campus, that’s for sure. If I had to guess, we either got street food or studied together. Or both, heheh.

Number 3

When is 3's birthday? April something. I just could never remember the exact date, but I know our birthdays are close to each other.

How did you meet 3? They were serving in the executive board when I was still applying for our org, so they were one of the people who had to be super active in entertaining and getting to know the new applicants. As far as I know they also briefly had a crush on me but I obviously couldn’t entertain them given the circumstances back then.

Has 3 been in love before? Yes, I’ve heard them talk about their ex before and they had a good run, so they’ve definitely been in love. They also have like a billion crushes apart from that relationship.

What was your first impression of 3? They were an executive in the org when I first met them so I viewed them with utmost respect, and for a time I treated them as a superior until we eventually became closer friends.

Have you ever lied to 3? Eh probably, but just small lies. We’re not close enough for me to have to lie about anything crucial.

Number 4

What kind of music does 4 listen to? Mostly pop, pop rock, pop punk, and R&B.

What's 4's middle name? I know what it is, but I’m not sharing that.

Does 4 live close to you? I’d say she does, but I still have to travel around 15-20 minutes by car. It’s no sweat for me though, given how most of my friends live a lot farther.

What's 4's star sign? Virgo, I think?? Yeah, I’m pretty certain she’s a Virgo.

Describe 4's appearance. Black hair, a beauty mark on the left side of her face, big eyes, a bit of on the heavy side but not super, always has her pearl earrings on.

Number 5

Do you/did you go to school with 5? We were coursemates and were part of the same journ org, but we only ever had like one class together since she’s a year above me which made our timelines different.

Have you ever held hands with 5? Yes, she’s pretty physically affectionate so she’s held my hand and played around with it at least once.

Tell me about the last conversation you had with 5. LOL this is kind of my fault, but I had been asking for help for a work-related thing. She only got to reply like 3 hours after and was super apologetic since she had been presenting slides at work using her laptop, but I never got back to her since I myself was super busy; and I don’t think I’ve even opened the messages, either. Whoops.

Would you ever consider being more than friends with 5? Oh my god no hahahaha. I love her to death but I view her as a sister more than anything.

Have you ever got into an argument with 5? Nah. She knows I’m not the type to get into an argument and if she had a problem with me she would simply tell me.

Number 6

Who is 6's celebrity crush? Most likely someone from BTS, though I’m not sure who her bias is. Judging from her tweets she’s also recently gotten into Jessi, but idk if she’s won celebrity crush status.

How old was 6 when you met him/her? She wassssssssss 18. She was a college freshie when we met.

Do you have a favourite photograph of 6? I don’t think so, and idk if I’m in the place to have a favorite photo of specifically her lol.

Is 6 attractive? She’s very pretty, yes.

Have you ever made 6 cry? I hope not?? She would for sure tell me if I have.

Number 7

7 is coming to your house for dinner; what will you cook? I’d order some pizza, get a tub of ice cream, and prepare a vape pod for her as well since that’s our favorite thing to do together.

The last time you saw 7, what was he/she wearing? No idea when that even was. She didn’t really spend a lot of time in the org hangout because she only had one or two classes, so I didn’t get to see her much to begin with.

What's the first letter of 7's last name? A.

What's the age difference between 7 and yourself? She’s a full year younger.

Is 7 capable of breaking your heart? Sure, if she like broke my trust or something.

Number 8

What do you like the most about 8's personality? She’s friendly and has always been supportive of me. I know she has shit to fix about herself as I’m well aware of her abusive behavior...but she’s a friend and I will always be behind her as she tries to improve and get better.

When was the last time you spoke to 8 in person? Jesus...maybe all the way back in 2019? She hadn’t come back to campus ever since she graduated, so that must’ve been the last time I saw her.

Have you ever had a dream about 8? She’s probably appeared in them but she was never a focal character.

What colour is 8's car? She doesn’t have one.

How old is 8? She will be turning 25.

Number 9

Has 9 ever cried in front of you? No.

The last time you spoke to 9, what did you talk about? I was asking her about what kind of gifts Andi would like for Christmas since she knows them far better than I do.

What kind of men/women does 9 like? We never really get to talk about this but knowing how Andi is, someone who has a healthy relationship with God and has strong faith, and someone who can respect boundaries, is creative, and challenges her with intellectual conversations. Thought it should also be important to note that Andi’s enby, so this question shouldn’t be limited to just men and women.

Would you go to 9 for advice about love/relationships? Yes, I know she’d be more than welcoming to listen.

Have you ever spent the night at 9's house? Never been to her place nor had an overnight thing with her.

Number 10

Who introduced you to 10? I don’t think anyone did; we just met each other in school.

Do you speak to 10 every day? No. We talk only occasionally but we’re super chummy when we do.

What if 10 told you that he/she was going to be a parent? She’d never tell just me since we aren’t close enough, but if she were to announce anything like that I’d be over the moon for her and would definitely congratulate her.

Does 10 ever come to you for advice about anything? Nope.

Has 10 ever flirted with you? No.

I’m dehydrated and you’re one of my faves. Where did ya go?!

been here, falling hopelessly behind on posts, both my own n others. i did just do a bden’s booty post with brallon, vices era that’s quite…uh…educational. yeah, educational.

i’ve been reading on orgasm gap research between het women, bi women, lesbians, gay men, bi men, straight men too. you know something is profoundly wrong with our (cultural) definition of sex when researchers and laypeople can say straights have more sex than lesbians, who supposedly have the least, but straight women only average 7 orgasms a *month* while lesbians average 55 monthly, more than anyone else. *x-files music with gillian anderson quoting some piv & porn-critique*

i wondered something the other day: imagine if only people who really liked women and wanted to just show people having a great time sexually made sexual material? bc most porn is so clearly “women are trash/cum dumpsters/whores/cunts so let’s hurt and humilate them” i’m astonished most people can’t see it. (it’s amazing how common women’s faces are visibly distressed, in pain, etc, and this is either irrelevant or the whole damn point.)

i’ve also had so many dirty thoughts about b i can’t even… like outercourse/tribadism/frottage are criminally underrated–been thinking lots lately about that with b (not that i don’t do that usually haha). am also working on a part two of bden’s tongue–that man’s so oral n his mouth generally is just… so sexy n ridiculous at the same time? how does he manage to get me thinking these filthy thoughts about his mouth on me, esp on my vulva, when being a complete goober with his lips and/or tongue? fucking houdini. (he’s my favouriteeee. precious lil boob) also, how is my life now in significant part “contemplating” him having a smaller than average dick. (bden has a small peepee ok peeps? on what planet does he have a bigger than average one? bc it ain’t earth.) god, i wanna touch that man’s dick, feel it in my hands n in my mouth n between my thighs n between my labia n on my clit n dsfkldfskl;dfskl;dsf

i’ve also been thinking of doing an imagine with a trans character, esp since it’s been requested a couple times, but was thinking of doing one with one who was starting to desist/recently desisted. i don’t consider myself a desister bc i never took steps to transition medically, and was never publicly socially out, due in large part to my environment (structural feminism, livejournal vs tumblr, my mom & her own history, knowing my brother had also been trans when younger than me for a few years and desisted, eg he used to steal my underwear n menstrual pads to wear them, wished he was female, wished there was a magic way to become one), but from 12-16 i was trans (intensely wished i was a gay man, contemplated medical transition sometimes, had a vivid fantasy life of being a gay man, wrote about being a gay man, i still to this damn day get dysphoric/anxious/panicked/distressed at the idea of wearing a dress or skirt in spite of my trying to rationalize it away, etc). given tumblr, being born later in the age of lupron for preadolescents n medically transitioning adolescents, no radical and other structural feminism (eg shere hite, kate millett, audre lorde, dworkin, alice walker) my life would’ve turned out very different. 

i would be super interested in talking with someone(s) who wanted to look at ideas around an imagine with bxreader with that, like struggling with seeing one’s body as female, having genitalia being called vulva/cunt/pussy/etc, wondering how to be seen as a person while being female during sex–i think a lot of what drives the fact that 70-80% of young trans are females who identify as male/nonbinary/etc, and what drove it in part for me, was rejection of porn culture/pornification/women being seen as holes for males, and not wanting to be treated like women in porn & mainstream culture (which is pretty much the current softcore porn and softcore virtually isn’t actually made anymore by pornographers) are treated, combined with how completely Barbified teen girls, 20something and 30something women in mainstream culture are, with a few rare exceptions for older women like Ellen (who are generally not seen as sexual but only funny, talented, etc). (asperger’s, anxiety & depression, eating disorders/disordered eating (anxiety n disordered eating also played a role for me), same sex attraction & lesbians being seen as boring and so last century at best, and evil oppressors at worst who are treated incredibly poorly by others, inc "the queer community" or being redefined out of existence are some other issues at play.) i’d love to hear from desisters and people contemplating desisting in particular, but others are welcome to chime in around these themes.

bden’s own history with “crossdressing” and the dress-up box (from about 6 on thru adulthood–he’s spoken repeatedly about wearing his mom’s clothes n heels n his sister’s cheerleader uniform, would wear his mom’s jeans all the time from 13 on, and even in fever era wore whole outfits from the women’s section), wrapping curtains around his waist to be a dress at 5, playing female roles in family plays, wanting to sound like female singers like gwen stefani, carly simon n beyonce n not like a man, etc could also be interesting to look at. b’s family being strict/traditional mormons kind of boggles my mind, bc they seemed to have left him to it, n he was (and still is) a big momma’s boy. like you can tell boyd loves his son but have you seen that man’s political views on twitter? omfg. i imagine he bit his tongue a lot around his youngest, and i wonder if b’s gender nonconformity played a role in b’s brothers coming to live with them (b, his 2 sisters, mom, dad) when he was 8. i bet grace (mom) stood up for him a lot, n that b was more feminine than his sisters (altho for sure there’d be a lot of shared interests with plays, the dress up box, n such).

do all the emojis

aw ye now i don’t have to differentiate between them, omg:

😍 celebrity crushALL THE OLDER MEN😘 irl crush….another older man, lol😖 something that makes you anxiousparting from family members or pets (you could say i’ve gotten a bit protective of them since my godmother passed…)😑 pet peevethings that are considered popular by the vast majority😒 person you hatesurprisingly, not too many (irl at least, except my former stepmom and stepsister; they can both fuck right off)– but vladimir putin is one of the ones lmao (sorry kiana…)😱 biggest fearflying, time passing, dying, aging🤐 tell us a secreti am finally getting used to this body😡 something that makes you madwhen people take culture and artists etc. for granted😈 turn oncrossdressing on guys, lol👿 turn offsmoking (yes, weed too) and drinking🙌🏻 something you can’t live withouta cliché but; the people and animals around me. it’s true👽 ever seen a ufo?sadly, no. but one time i saw this weird-ass moving dot-pattern up in the sky and i was fuckin weirded out tbh, so i guess if that wasn’t just some massive headlamp then i might’ve seen a ufo??👄 first kiss storydunno if it was my first, but of course, it was during some party game we were playing during a classmate’s b-day party, omfg. (tbh i’ve actually never kissed anyone properly, like– open mouthed and all, lmao)🤘 first concert you went toprobably not the VERY first, but the first one that comes to mind is ofc when i went to see Red Hot Chili Peppers when i was 10👀 eye colorblue👤 ethnicityuh– white?💇 hair lengthpm shoulder-length rn💁 hair colorbrown👯 best friendi don’t really have A best friend anymore, so much as i consider all the ones i hang out with to be varying degrees of best friends, omfg👑 favorite Disney princesspocahontas, maybe?🐱 have any pets?YES; several rabbits, a few cats and some sheep☘ are you superstitious?yes🌸 favorite floweri don’t know anything about flowers tbh but my favorites when i was little were tulips🌿 favorite seasoni’ve started seeing the beauty with each season lately, but autumn has still gotta be the favorite tbh🌎 where you want to liveRIGHT HERE (on gotland, that is)🌝 day or nightnight☄ seen a shooting star?many🌈 favorite colorgreen, to put it simply❄️ favorite winter sportuhh– skiing??🌊 ocean or poolOCEAN☂ rainy or sunny?rainy tbh, but sunny can be alright as well🍎 favorite fruitapple🎤 favorite singeruM THERE ARE SO MANY (till lindemann is always the bomb tho)🎧 favorite bandRammstein… hoping they’ll be back from war soon…..🎭 favorite playmy acting-group’s version of “Alice in Wonderland” tbh (but as for professional plays, idk, i’ve seen quite a few good and inspirational ones. i haven’t seen it but i’ve wanted to see “king lear” for a while since i used to think it looked creepy, haha)🎹 play any instruments?used to play the recorder from like– age 9 to 14, maybe?? (that alto recorder fuckin slayed my tiny babyhands, man) – kinda wanna learn to play the piano and guitar too tbh🎬 favorite moviealsO SO MANY, but “the shining” and “the hitcher”(emphasis on the one from ‘86) are always good picks🎮 favorite video gameJSHGSJERT SO MANY Y U DO DIS– i seriously love most of the Silent Hill-games, though. and both Jazz Jackrabbit-games. and Undertale. and–🚲 preferred type of transportationbike✈️ place you want to traveli used to be able to think of so many places but now i’m not sure– definitely would wanna go back to germany again though. japan would be cool too, and– FINE…. the US too i guess🏠 where you currently livegotland, sweden, europe, planet earth📞 last person you talked on the phone withmy mom or dad📻 favorite radio stationi don’t listen much rn but when i was young and impressionable, my favorite station was rix fm, lmao (basically just the same loop of currently popular songs over and over, mixed with commercials and hosts shout-talking into their mics)📺 favorite tv showLOTS, once again. but the one i’ve kept coming back to over and over for 10+ years now is “Midsomer murders”, so that’s what it’ll have to be🔋 battery %87💰 jobi’m an intern at nickelodeon– a bookstore🚬 ever smoked/drank/done drugsi’ve tried cigarettes a couple times, drank a little, NEVER done drugs🔮 where do you see yourself in 5 yearsi honestly don’t care to think about it (fear of time passing, remember?)🎁 best gift you’ve ever gottenlife idk🎉 favorite holidayhalloween or christmas💌 ever received a love letter?not that i recall📚 a book you are currently readingseveral i haven’t finished yet after a lot of years, lol. i’m still trying my hand at “moby dick” and recently; “färjan”📖 favorite booksome of stephen king’s short story-collections tbh❤️ 5 people you lovemom, dad, my brother, my rabbit(s), my crush (the rabbits DO count, okay)💗 sexualityhonestly kinda straight, but sometimes a little bi too i just dk✝ religionwants to believe in something, but i can’t say i’m religious either♌️ zodiacvirgo✅ something you’ve checked off your bucket listnot sure it was on my bucket list but, uh– swam in the mediterranean?#️⃣ lucky numbermost even numbers from 4 and up🎶 top 5 favorite songscurrently: “cut the cord” – shinedown                “crashing around you” – machine head                “homecoming” - kanye west (…..shut up)                “shiny” from the swedish Moana-soundtrack                both the opening and ending-songs in season 2 of “Attack on titan”✖️ 5 things you hatewar (just all stupid-ass conflicts, pm), diseases, when we people build everywhere, most memes of today, poachers🕒 time you go to bedpm always later than i should