You may have gotten ahead of yourself when you signed up the alien mating agency.

You think this as you stand before your new alien husband, in your new home on an alien planet. You’re grateful he’s handsome, at least, in his own draconic way.

The fangs will take some getting used to, and the claws, and the… tail. He drags you to your new bedroom, eager to consummate his marriage with his little human bride.

Your alien husband whispers a safe word in your ear before throwing you on the bed. In a flash, he’s tearing your clothes off, his long pink tongue brushing across your cunt before squirming it’s way inside.

You writhe against him as he makes you cum, once, twice, your flesh tender as he fucks you with his tongue.

When he’s ready for you, you gape at the size of his cock, bigger than any you’d ever seen.

You tell him you won’t be able to take the size of him, but he assures you it’ll fit. He’ll make it fit.

All thoughts of using your safe word disappear from your head as your alien husband fills you to capacity, stretching you beyond the point of profusion. It burns as he works his way inside you, but stirs the arousal pulsing through you and you beg him for more.

With a fanged smile, he fucks you mercilessly, your cunt dripping as he brings you to the edge once more. Then he’s filling that cunt, his cunt, with sticky seed, letting it drip down your thighs as he continues fucking you.

Your alien husband is not done, not in the slightest, though he licks a kiss across your face as he lets you recover your breath, before plunging into you for another round.

Day 13 of Sirentober / Doctober

Found / Family

Friday the 13th means silly little monster AU!

Fascinating to me that Hunter in the owl house not only fills the “child soldier of the villain who switches sides” archetype but if we are going through the tropes of fairy tales that The Owl House likes to play with, is a little bit the princess in the tower??

yknow i didn't necessarily start my wyll origin run with the intent of romancing astarion in mind but the more i play the more i find their similarities amusing when it comes to like, the surface level personality they present to strangers in act 1.

wyll is a compulsive flirt. you see it in dialogue with shadowheart and lae'zel - he just tosses out a couple lines that clearly aren't supposed to go anywhere (asking lae'zel if she believes in love at first sight, blatantly reusing the same flirtation attempts with shadowheart) and i see this as part of his Blade of Frontiers persona. obviously a traveling vigilante would have no time for romance or relationships, but he's socially aware enough to have learned that people respond well to a certain level of rogueish charm. especially if his reputation precedes him. he can safely and positively engage in surface level flirtations with the people he interacts with because the person doing the flirting isn't real - at least not to him. he often says the Blade is his best self, but to him its an ideal he strives to achieve, not the person he really is. and i imagine that includes the ability to give discouraged people positive attention in a nonthreatening way. its safe. its superficial. he doesn't have to follow through.

this is overshadowed somewhat by astarion's tendency to flirt with anything that has a pulse, but the perspective they both have on it is pretty similar. theyre both coming from a place of not actually being interested in the recipient of their attention - whether that be through astarion's ulterior motives or wyll's lack of capacity for a relationship - but they both still put on this front because it's habitual. it's worked for them and it's gotten them through the varying degrees of social contracts they find themselves in. so they wind up trading lines easily because they've studied from the same script.

anyway what im getting at is bumping these two personalities against each other can definitely result in wyll and astarion committing to the bit so hard they accidentally wind up in a relationship. like, you're safe, you know the rules, you're speaking in a language i'm familiar with but we both understand that neither of us expect anything back on an emotional level. wait when did we start confiding our deepest secrets with one another. what do you mean you trust me.

Homura did nothing wrong. And I stand by that. Because, she didn't do anything wrong towards anyone nor did she do anything with malicious intent. The only thing she did wrong is entirely in regards to herself. Rather than basing Homura's entire character around an act she made out of love or reduce her character to an evildoer with no morals nor love in her heart like some people still do to this day under the poor facade of “valid criticism,” I'm going to explain what Homura actually did wrong in Rebellion and her what her act of selfishness actually was.

What Homura did wrong was condemn herself to suffering as an immortal deity, the Devil whom acts as a rebellion against God, The Law of Cycles, strict laws of the original universe, which included Madoka Kaname not existing. That is what she did wrong, but not in the black and white, Good-vs-Evil way most people interpret this as. Yes, they are meant to be enemies one day, but because God favors rules and always doing the right thing, whereas the Devil favors her desire to stay in a world where Madoka is happy, where her friends are happy, where they are safe and have a chance at a life. A desire for happiness vs maintaining order of a broken world for the greater good, even if maintaining order means making sacrifices and making hard choices that directly rebel against that desire and yearning for happiness.

But, here is why Homura is wrong in dooming herself to her fate as the Devil. It's very subtle, but seconds before the Flower Field scene, as they are walking, Madoka turns and tells Homura that it really hurts her seeing her in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it. This may seem like a simple thing a friend would say, but remember that Madoka lost her memories as a goddess. And, as a goddess, she was stuck alone in Heaven having to watch life go by, Homura's life go by, and wasn't able to interfere. Think about that for a second. Think about being Madokami.

Think about when she could finally understand just how much Homura did for her, just how much Homura fought for her in all those time loops; the moment she's able to reciprocate her feelings, she fades from existence as the consequence. Wanting so badly to comfort Homura as she bears the psychological burden of being the only person to remember her, to know her, to miss her, to grieve and mourn her. Thinking the only time she’ll ever be able to see let alone talk to Homura again is when she’s essentially dying from all the grief, the pain, the guilt, the sadness of not being able to save her from her fate of being a goddess trapped in isolation. Think about that, then look at what she says here again. Of course it hurts Madoka seeing Homura hurting so badly and feeling powerless to do anything about it. Because that's what she's been doing as The Law of Cycles. Much like how she said she'd never make the decision to become a Goddess in the first place a few seconds later, she says this because this is the real Madoka who loves and cherishes Homura, who hates to see her hurt.

Take that into consideration when looking at what Homura turns herself into at the end of Rebellion, how she's suffering and you can see the exhaustion on her face and in her eyes, how you can see the immortality essentially sucking the humanity out of her to the point where she herself believes she is evil. This was never about Good vs. Evil. This is about Homura hating herself so much not only for being unable to save Madoka, but possibly even for loving her in the first place considering her love is what made her powerful enough to condemn herself to her fate as a Goddess trapped in Heaven with her wish. This is about Madoka hating herself so much to where she only deems herself worthy so long as she's helping others, her self-loathing making her reduce herself to a sacrificial lamb and throwing away her life for the better of everyone else, caring so little for herself and being unable to even fathom that she'd be mourned or grieved if she were to die, thus sacrificing herself over and over, seeing herself as a means to an end if it means freedom for everyone she loves. Madoka has always been there to comfort Homura and protect her since the first timeline. How can she do that if her memories and powers to do so are locked away? She can't. Because Homura doesn't believe she deserves Madoka's love.

Homura doesn't believe she's worth Madoka's sacrifice in becoming a God and Madoka doesn't believe she's worth Homura's sacrifice in becoming the Devil. Madoka cannot understand that she is so so much more than what she can give to other people whilst Homura is the only one that does. Homura can't understand that dooming herself to immortality pains and hurts Madoka because she can't do anything about it thus she can't save her from her suffering like how Homura ceased her suffering. It's a cycle. A snake eating it's own tail. A pumpkin that spins round and round and round. They're both selfish and they're both selfless. Homura is selfish in the sense that she's not taking into consideration how Madoka would feel if she knew how much she were suffering as the Devil for her sake yet she is being selfless because she's only suffering as the Devil for Madoka and her family and their friends to have a happy life. Madoka is selfish in the same sense that she's not taking into consideration just how psychologically damaging it is for Homura to not only have to watch her die over and over again throughout 100 timelines but to then erase herself from existence with Homura being the only one to remember her and she is selfless by of course only sacrificing herself so much because she cares for everyone and all Magical Girls, Homura especially included. They both love each other enough to sacrifice themselves for the other but they both hate themselves so much to where they believe they are undeserving of the other's love hence they keep dooming themselves to suffering in isolation and in turn dooming each other.

Me convincing my Wheel of Time mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: It's like if Mat Cauthon was the Dragon, and after every battle he was forced into court-ordered therapy to stop him from going crazy and destroying the world.

Me convincing my Discworld mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: Half the book is ridiculous puns that hinge on obscure references you won't be able to understand without an encyclopedia, the other half is the most profound quotes you have ever read that imprint themselves onto your very soul. And three weeks later you will realize they are also puns.

Me convincing my Dirk Gently mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: A bunch of losers and disasters learn to love themselves by loving each other, and discover that embracing their weirdness can save the world. Also, everything is connected.

Me convincing my Stargate mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: Keep the adventure and the found family, but imagine that it isn't sponsored by the US military, so the characters are allowed to be gay and talk about their feelings like regular people.

Me convincing my MCU mutuals to read He Who Fights With Monsters: It's like if Age of Ultron never happened, and instead we got the Avengers Tower sitcom of our 2012 dreams.

Me convincing Tumblr at large to read He Who Fights With Monsters: The main characters are all wildly homoerotic and intensely shippable. There is canon representation from every part of the rainbow. Magic is structured in such a way that everyone is gorgeous, nobody poops, gay people can reproduce, furries are canon, and gender transition is virtually instantaneous. Imagine the fanfic potential!

If I have persuaded any of you, the first 13 chapters are free here:

The site has a fantastic interface, with font and formatting options. If you like what you read, you can get the amazingly narrated audiobooks on audible, the print copies on Amazon, or the e-reader on kindle. I highly recommend the audiobooks. The narrator brings a lot of depth to the characters, with the voices he uses and the level of emotion he puts in everything. I have never been able to pay attention to an audiobook before, but these ones are captivating.

I think the reason I don’t typically like AUs where Soukoku join the ADA together is that writers will use it as a way to villainize the Port Mafia to an extreme and ridiculous degree. Like EVERYTHING becomes their fault. Every mafia member is ooc. Kouyou is always evil. Mori becomes a super villain. All of the nuance of Bungo Stray Dogs, all that gray morality, just disappears because people want Dazai and Chuuya to be good™. And one of them being a mafioso conflicts with that author’s image of what it means to be good. It messes with the roots of BSD’s story to the point that the characters are unrecognizable.

I suddenly remembered this scene from @sensitiveheartless's Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency story, chapter 18 (I believe---or it was the nineteenth chapter. SOMEWHERE IN THERE) I thought: Hmmm, I like big dragon like creatures, and I like birds........THIS IS PERFECT >:D Also I promise I'm not usually this cruel, but to those who have read the entirety of that just---phenomenal story, feel free to cry with me

i see a lot of interpretations of zor being this otherworldly, anomalous presence- larger than life, practically non-human. and i, too, like perceiving zor through this veil of anonymity. i think making them too tangible or perceivable really detracts from what's been established about their character.

but, i personally really, really like the thought of zor being human. mortal. but terrifying to the point where you'd be forgiven for forgetting it.

i think one of the things that i adored about ieytd before the third game dropped (and honestly made me a little disappointed when it was changed later on) was the fact that the agency never had a face. it just... was what it was. it had facets- granted, the EOD was always the only one of any relevance. but, really, think about what we know about the agency between all three games. compare that to how much we know about zoraxis.

there's something really appealing to me about zor being who they are... they're probably the most wealthiest person on earth. they had a monopoly that quite literally gripped the world in their first- as their emblem would suggest. they hire some of the most lethal minds in the world- chemists, inventors, engineers.

and yet... despite it all, they're just one person. to me, their anonymity is a shield against the fact they are a person. they hide behind the lethality and prowess of their elite operatives- not to mention we've seen how clever they can be when it came to manipulating prism. they're by no means useless.

but what would they be without their anonymity? what would they be without the weapons they didn't design, the lairs they didn't build, the employees they use as human shields? the second zor is gone, zoraxis crumbles. they are the support pillar of their entire corporation.

... but what's the agency's equivalent? even post morales being a character, can we be certain that he's the glue holding the entire organization together?

think about zoraxis' most lethal schemes. seizing control of the world's atomic weaponry. striking targets anywhere on earth's surface with a giant laser. exploding the brain of every telekinetic agent on the planet. are they really seeking to cause as much damage as possible- to the agency specifically, collateral, or otherwise?

or do they not know where to strike. zor's tactic- for as high the stakes have been escalating- has always carried a similar motif. cleave and strike indiscriminately until the threat is neutralized.

but it never works. zor is lashing at a hydra- sprouting new heads where the old ones have been lopped off. they don't seem aware of how to destroy the agency other than exterminating each and every one of them off the face of the earth, in whatever way is most convenient at the moment.

i just think there's something to be said about zoraxis- and by extension, zor- always being seen as this oppressive, near-otherworldly force, constantly applying pressure on phoenix... when for all we know, zoraxis could be perceiving the agency in the exact same light.

zor, ultimately, has one beating heart. the agency has thousands. and all of them are dispensable.

Pixar's Blooper Reel - Monster's Inc

I… I want to put bungou stray dog characters inside the Backrooms

When your new alien husband says “Do not worry, my bride. I have bedded many humans and know exactly how much your fragile body can handle.” 😳😳😳

In the Silly Little Monster au, all of WAA have wings.

Therefore, I feel like they all should do little wing flaps when they're happy. (Trucy and maybe Apollo probably picked it up from Phoenix, no clue abt Athena tho)

Oh of course

I like to think it’s a natural habit for most winged folk (not all, but most)

if there's anything i care about more than magical girls, it's magical women

Started watching a "problem with greek myth retellings" video and it began with a blurb montage like "Condemned by the misogynist guys of history, this is the true girlboss feminist story of [A WOMAN]" and like. brb writing one of those about crown prince rudolf. It's ok he's like a misunderstood girlboss to me<3

my souheki warriors kill this gacha video now