#missionary only? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jacqcrisis · 1 year

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>looks through a t3rf blog

>she doesn’t think trans people should be in the LGBT community

>she thinks sex toys and roleplay are stupid and only wants ‘normal sex’

>she is disgusted and offended by women being into rough sex

>she identifies as a libertarian

>she is a swiftie

>I stand up from my chair

>wave the card in the air

>shout bingo

>get my fifty dollars from the old lady in the decorative sweater with cartoon pugs sitting next to the ball rolling doohickey

#the first point was a free space #i found the 'normal sex' post very funny #like what you mean #you don't want your partner to use toys?#missionary only?#lights off to not offend god???#alright whatever floats your boat homie just stop having bad opinions on trans people and other peoples sex lives

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getousatoruu · 2 months

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Canon…

#idk why but geto does look like a person who would fucks in missionary only #and then you have Satoru “flexible’ Gojo who is just so …..#yeah #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #gojo satoru

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thedomesticanthropologist · 7 months

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Gale is not vanilla, he's PRIVATE

Gale is NOT VANILLA he's just Private with his sex life

Gale is NOT VANILLA HES JUST PRIVATE

#in a room with the door shut? yes #lights off missionary only? absolutely not #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldurs gate companions

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bloodbathcat · 8 months

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i don't understand how anyone can walk around without any kind of faith. i would blow my brains out. instantly. because science is so cruel, and if you worship science, you stare down a cold and uncaring path. i mean, look at how many scientists commit suicide. look at how many of the surviving ones convert at the height of their careers.

i mean really. if i was truly walking this horrible, senseless world alone, believing there is absolutely no greater purpose to what i do- i'd eat lead.

#this is not some missionary shit i promise. don't be swayed by what i say #i only know what i know.

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strawberrystepmom · 7 months

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okay so i do have a question for everyone and it's do you think that the smut you write directly reflects your own personal sexual tastes and interests or do you change what you write a little bit to make it more palatable for bigger audiences?

#im only asking bc i rly thought about it the other day and tbh as far as kinks go i rly do not write about a lot of mine bc i feel like #they have a lot of responsibility in how they're written bc they are not like super kinky or weird #but things like restraints #and heavy dom sub dynamics i feel are better written by someone else #like dont get me wrong i love missionary i love the stuff i write about too #but like my heavier kinks idk i dont always feel comfortable writing about them but i feel like that's just me

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fisheito · 3 months

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i told myself that yakuei only had one position then i proved myself (sorta) wrong

my fave face here:

#technically... if they were boinking in outer space... a lot of these would be the same position #makes a rotate-y gesture with my fingers #what is yakumo's kabedon if not a vertical missionary #so i've half proven myself right AND wrong! i'm net neutral in outer space broskis!!!!!#zizz-asdf if ur reading these tags i'll have u know that u inspired me to Do the Research1 #like. 5 garu riding eiden? no. it can't be. does yaku do one specific thing with eiden 5 times? *tries to write it down*#i can't quite... what's the word for that position...uhhhh #ah forget it i'll just draw it out #<- that was the process of creating this. collage? 😆#THE MATRIX OF YAKUEI BOINKINg POSITIONS (under construction)#when u about to be semi-normal and make a spreadsheet but ur sexcabulary is stunted so you resort to visuals instead #legit opening up every intimacy room and skipping thru sections to get as complete a picture as possible #wondering... where are yaku's feet planted in this one. (skips to 8minute mark)#ah! there they are. theyre not supporting his weight in this one *draws it*#while drawing crimson phantom room 2 my brow was furrowed and i was mentally narrating #[and this one i affectionately call.. rectal exam - professional misconduct Grounds for Termination)]#surprised they str8 up havent done classicdoggstyle yet. is it because he's a snake? garu should teach him #also surprised that there's been no Light SSR for yaku yet. come on!! Light mode on the double!#uhhh i think the only repeated positions were freestanding (choco liqueur r2 and dark nova r2)#and standing AGAINST! THE! WALL! (choco liqueur r5 {interior} and shadow lineage r5 {cave})#wait. *throws papers around* i swear they did missionary more than once. was it only ocean breeze???#i know with the intimacy rooms they gotta modify the positions into certain angles to make it...look...better #but seriously? only one missionary out of the lot of them? despite the aesthetic tweaks??? how can that ........#*tosses more papers around with increasing befuddlement* WHERE IS MY PURE 100% VANILLA BEAN ICE CREAM #sighs as all the papers lie scattered on the ground #dude... i don't know anymore..... this is beyond my scope #now that i see how evenly spread out the positions are...#i BET the devs have SOME SORTA CHART tracking yaku's positions. now THAT'S a funky office corkboard!#yakuei

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forestgreenlesbian · 2 months

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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

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austim · 2 months

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Not trying to start anything, just wondering... what's with including "sexual deviants" (?) in DNIs lately? Feels like an odd thing to specify if you only mean you don't want to see nsfw/kink blogs in your notes.

#not stim #text #growing up catholic (no longer catholic) ive only seen the term used for like.#gay people. anyone who engages in any level of kink. etc.#anyone who engages in anything other than heterosexual missionary basically #nsft

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merakiui · 10 months

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KABSJDHS MERA WOMANIZER AZUL X MANEATER READER IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME U HAVE NO IDEA

like. reader "accidentally" lettimg a kiss mark or hickey show when around azul to mock him (maybe w an open collar) , , , while letting little comments slip about how /frigid/ Azul seems, noting that he feels so /wound up/ when speaking to them... im Screaming

the tweels (who know Very well how reader is) are just on the sidelines with smiles on their faces (well. jade has a somewhat polite smile, but a hint of teeth flashes when reader tugs their collar when remarking that the room feels so /stuffy/. floyd is just full on grinning like the bastard he is :)))

LOL YES OMG reader and Azul think they're All That, but it's actually just clown to clown communication. T_T the tweels are greatly amused with how you and Azul viciously poke and prod at one another, your teasing seeming sensual on some levels and other times it's just downright petty. Azul could lie and say he hates you, but truthfully he can't stay away from you. You're as addicting as you are annoying. Stop talking; he wants your lips all over him!!!! >:(

It's so funny because when you do undress and Azul sees all of the marks left from either twin (or both) he really shouldn't be surprised. But because he's greedy to a fault and highly competitive, he feels the need to prove something and so he wants to be the one to mark you the most. He's desperate, but then he's not so desperate as to take you in his mer form and cheat using the suckers on his tentacles. One of these days, though. <3 he may not be one for keeping promises, but there are some that are unbreakable.

#twisted chit chat #luna-the-moth #azul and reader get married and adamantly claim it's for tax benefits #even though they're having the most romantic sex some nights and azul's on the verge of speaking in sonnets because he loves you so much #hmmmm yes... 'tax benefits' hmmmmmmm #'i'm only fucking you because a little sex is good for the body and mind' - azul mindset #but then his preferred positions are missionary and the lotus LOL #azul you are a bad liar when it comes to love!!!!!

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illiana-mystery · 1 year

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1995

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acabspocky · 2 days

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Y'all... Y'ALL, I am over here literally screaming cause THIS MAKES THE FEYD SCENE SO MUCH BETTER OMFG

#I'M SO FUCKING SICK RN OMG #I NEED MORE IMPRINTERS #a fic of imprinter actually falling in love with the man she's manipulsting plz #which is basically leto & jessica but SHHHHH #Dune thoughts #because those are the only thots i have anymore #Margot Fenring #Frank Herbert probably had the most boring missionary sex and that's why everytbing is weird in Dune #Bene Gesserit #oh to be a powerful man and have Margot Fenring put the Bene Gesserit pussy on me #thanks bae

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champagnemoon · 4 months

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Carrie acting mortally offended by everything slightly outside of the realm of straight vanilla sex is the most jarring thing about her character as the show ages...like im supposed to believe a sex columnist is having conniptions about a man wanting to be peed on lmaooo

#she was such a puritan when you rewatch from a 2024 perspective #like yeah she'll sleep with everyone in the lower manhattan area but only in missionary!!!!#i love a prude but pick a side baby

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96crewlove · 9 months

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versatile!itafushi nsft headcanon under the cut

yuji railing megumi, like doing him so good and hard in multiple positions that megumi comes more than twice and cries, then cleaning them up and kissing megumi like this https://x.com/shokosrealgirlf/status/1695735968790171916?s=46 until they fall asleep.

or, megumi making love to yuji slow and deep, building up his pace and their orgasms slowly and kissing yuji through it, and by the end he's driven them both crazy so he starts doing and stroking yuji in earnest until they come.

#i can only see megumi as a missionary king not very sorry about it #and when megumi cries during like really crying in a 'i'm feeling a lot of things' way yuji tears up too #but when megumi's crying in a 'i'm getting fucked my man/baby so good' way yuji's BALLS DEEP and doing it like it's the end of the world #and yuji can always tell which type of crying megumi's doing too 😌#nsft headcanon #itafushi #jjk headcanons #jujutsu kaisen smut

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lesmiserablol · 2 months

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i could fill a dozen books with the weird cringe things that happened on my mormon mission. one time we knocked on this guy's door and he had thor ragnarok playing in the background and i had to act normal about that. and later my companion was like "that was satan tempting you. you haven't been obedient enough this month"

#SHE WAS JOKING but it was only funny because we had both met missionaries who would unironically say shit like that #anyway just had a horrible nightmare about having to go back and finish my mission #that is my recurring stress dream i hate it

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diet-cokette · 3 months

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do other moderate/ liberal Christians who grew up very conservative feel that they have to push very hard to be the "chill Christian" and the "unobtrusive Christian" bc you know the damage conservative Christians and others have done to peoples perception of Christianity but then you feel like your not being Christian enough when God called you to share the gospel and live in his truth idk 😐

#i know christianity is a missionary faith but i feel like i can only treat it as a personal faith almost #like many non christians have been told already abt jesus but theyve been told in the wirst way possible so now they have been closed off #any attempt to bring up god is percieved as pushy and condescending and out of touch #personal

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techmomma · 7 months

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I've been playing Fallout: New Vegas for a month now and I really like the game. Like I absolutely like it more than Fallout 4 in terms of story. Gameplay's still pretty good too.

But ohhhh. Boy that Honest Hearts DLC leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

#if you haven't played it #there is a quest that is called Civilized Man's Burden #and it's not like a fun deconstruction or parody #it's what it says on the tin #which is like the entire DLC summed up #the only two named characters that you have any kind of meaningful interaction with #are missionary stand-ins #there's like three named Tribals(tm) and not a single one of them has any agency #you and the Missionaries decide everything for them because they are Innocent and Ignorant #AND YES #THE TRIBALS ARE HINTED TO BE DESCENDANTS OF PEOPLE WHO WERE LIVING ON A RESERVATION #WHEN THE BOMBS HIT #it's so yucky #yucky-disgusting

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