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lady-of-the-english · 2 months

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Tommy and Grace and Marriage Part 3

To echo back to ideas I started in part 1, Tommy at his core is a romantic with Grace, with a healthy view of what their relationship should be like. Tommy desires a true partnership with Grace - he promises her he'll help her with everything as she'll help him (it's one of the only health sentiments we've heard from him that I can remember).

He is willing and able to strip himself bare, physically and emotionally, with Grace. And with that, she is his strength. It takes strength and courage to put yourself out there, to trust another person, to be open and honest with them about your feelings and your dreams of the future together. Tommy knows and understands this: he is extremely picky in deciding when and with whom he shares the true depth of himself.

In 2x01, Polly, Ada, and Lizzie all prod Tommy for that openness and vulnerability to no avail. He chooses stoicism, maintaining his mask of emotionless as much as he can - like when discussing business at one of his oldest friends and brother-in-law's Freddy's funeral.

In the same episode, Campbell, as an antagonist, identifies Grace as Tommy's weakness. However, we are meant to disagree as Campbell is intentionally used as Tommy's foil to consider the ethics of both their careers and in their romantic connection to Grace.

The first of the trio to explicitly mention marriage and that potential future for Grace and Tommy is Campbell in his own failed proposal - a proposal that heavily centers around Tommy.

In 1x05, Tommy realizes that the guns have "become a burden" and agrees to sell them to the IRA in a trap, collaborating with Campbell.

In realizing that the IRA are planning to kill him once they get the location of the guns, and thus possibly before the "sixth chime" to midnight, which is the police's signal, Tommy turns to Grace - partly because "barmaids don't count" when told to be alone, but also because Tommy genuinely trusts her with his life.

We see Tommy's fear explicitly. He comes into the Garrison panting, shaking a little. Grace immediately understands that there is going to be "trouble" just seeing him. He's willing and able to show his true feelings with Grace. He trusts her to both help him handle this situation and to not think less of him demonstrating these unmasculine feelings (as Moss will deride Tommy for being ladylike due to his discomfort with the dead bodies in his bar at the end of the scene).

We see Tommy's frustration and fear that he needs to pull Grace into this side of the business. He tells her that when the IRA men get there, "they plan to kill me. It's your job to stop that happening." And he minimizes what she has to do: "You don't shoot. You just point," reassuring her that neither will have to kill anyone as the "police want them alive" and will be in soon to deal with the situation fully - a statement that surprises Grace. If the police are to help him, she assumes that she would be informed, and thus, her own disquiet truly develops.

Grace doesn't object at all to the idea of protecting him, only a bit in disbelief that "you could have given me more warning" to which Tommy reveals his full frustration and fear that "he just got the message himself" and thus wouldn't involve her in a danger situation unless he absolutely had to.

He sends her off to hide until the signal with his voice rasing and getting faster in his panic as he repeats to Grace, "All right, go. Go on. Go!"

Grace, hidden but peaking around the door, watching and listening for Tommy's signal, can hear clearly their threats as they they condensingly ask Tommy, "Did you think was let you live? Make your peace, Mr. Shelby," to which Grace comes out guns blazing.

I think her motivation is three-fold: since we met Grace, her primary goal has been to ensure these guns don't fall into the IRAs' hands. Even when Campbell points out at the beginning of the season that there are other players of concern, such as the Peaky Blinder, she maintains her focus on the IRA in her fear, hatred, and grief over her father's death. So, the mission itself, as an agent of the crown intertwined with revenge, greatly motivates her.

But, I think her feelings for Tommy are just as inspiring. If her grief of her father dying at the hands of this organization is still haunting to this degree, I imagine it must have been terrifying to hear another person she cares about possibly being taken from her in the same way. Feelings of revenge tend to be wrapped up in guilt of not being able to save that person. If she couldn't save her father, she'd make sure they couldn't do this to anyone else again - especially her again, which is a position I don't think she ever imagined being in.

Grace shoots multiple times, planning to kill both men so that Tommy would never be in real danger for a moment. Instead, her revenge helps pull him into the danger she so hoped to avoid. As Tommy begins to fight back, she's trying to get in there to shoot again, but she is knocked down and stays down until Tommy kills the second IRA man by bashing his face in.

Tommy immediately goes to Grace, and while she initially flinches from the violence, she let's him come to her, help her off the floor. She leans into Tommy's gentle caress of her face as Tommy tries to reassure himself that she is okay. Grace doesn't try to get away when he holds her head and asks her, "why did you shoot, Grace?". She replies in shock and disbelief, "I didn't know I had it in me like that."

Tommy, is likewise full of regret, afraid that he has driven her off as "now you've seen me."

But Grace's fear and criticism is only for herself as she responds, "and now you've seen me. I'm sorry." Instead of moving away from him, she draws closer, hugging him. Tommy is initially in disbelief, thinking he'd driven her off forever and surprised that she's the one sorry (I just can't imagine Tommy's been on the receiving end of many - any - apologies). But, he quickly unfreezes and sinks into her comforting embrace as he closes his eyes to bask in her presence and love.

This is Grace's breaking point as she tells Campbell the following morning. When Moss and the other cops come into the Garrison, they aren't sorry for purposefully going back on their deal with Tommy, that the IRA men are dead, and that Grace and Tommy could have died. Tommy, with tears in his eyes, holding himself up by leaning against the bar, respectfully state that "they fought well. They were brave men." Moss, gets in Tommy's face and and degrades him that they look like he was "killed by a wild fucking animal" and asks, "who cares?" about the bodies that he states were never never. As they leave, Grace looks at Tommy, whose eyes are closed, trying to stop the tears, and she can see fully who the real "bad" men are.

After walking her safely home, Tommy reiterates Grace's apology, telling her, "I'm sorry." We don't see Tommy often providing apologies either, but he is willing to give Grace what she offers him - everything.

In truly seeing both Tommy and the police force, Grace meets with Campbell to offer up the guns and her resignation. Previous scenes had shown Grace's discomfort with Campbell's degrading rhetoric about Tommy, but she typically ignored it and didn't argue back.

But now everything is different. At the meeting with Campbell, he strokes the same cheek Tommy caressed the night before, but this time, Grace flinches away.

Campbell offers a non-apology placing the blame on Tommy for the danger she was in: "I had no idea that he would involve you in this ugly business. If I had, I never would have let this happen," showing only his concern for her life in the situation. Grace looks away disgusted and argues back for truly the first time: "he trusts me. I told you that. You didn't believe me," showing the sharp contrast between Tommy and Campbell.

When he challenges her that Moss reported that they were "embracing," she scoffs is disbelief: "Is that your primary concern?". He tries to justify that his "concern" is for "her welfare," but Grace shakes her head no and takes full responsibility, telling him, "it was me who killed them" - both of them, as Tommy only finishes what she started and thus, she covers for him, not willing for him to face the consequences of her actions.

Campbell tries to blame that on Tommy's influence too, but Grace won't let him and makes clear that "something inside me changed" through seeing both Tommy and the police force clearly. She asserts that she and the police were the real "beasts" last night, not Tommy.

Grace claims that she no longer feels the need to "avenge" her father as she understands that it almost costs her Tommy's life. She asserts that the "hatred that I brought here with me is gone" in contrast to the depth of hatred Campbell feels. She reminds him that the mission was always about the guns, not The Peaky Blinders, and with that, negotiates a deal with him. She demands that "I want your word that Thomas Shelby will not be harmed if the guns are recovered. Your word as a gentleman." This great act of betrayal is in service of Tommy's life as both possessing the guns and trying to sell the guns have proven to have the same deadly consequences for him.

Campbell doesn't immediately agree as it is not something he wants to give; we've seen from the beginning how petty and personal he makes the "mission." He is incredulous that she has "sympathy" and "sentiment" for Tommy and tells her she's "too good-hearted for this work." He deems Tommy her weaknesses, just as he'll deem Grace Tommy's.

Realizing that he'll only agree if there is something in it for him, Grace capitulates on their own history: "So, for my sake, will you spare him?," finally getting his "word."

When she meets him at the grave the following morning, Campbell hugs Grace, which she doesn't reciprocate, and proposes the moment she resigned, ready and in wait to strike with a ring in his hand the second she's no longer his "subordinate." Campbell tells Grace what she once thought but no longer believes: "I'm a good man, and my admiration of you has turned to love." Seeing her shocked and disbelieving face, he tells Grace, " I don't ask for love in return. Just recognition that we are liked minds with shared values."

It is a proposal that is in complete odds with Tommy's declarations. Campbell formalities juxtaposed with Tommy's giddiness and boyish teasing in the following scenes. While both consider how they are the same with "liked minds," Campbell's viewpoint is based on the old version of Grace, who hasn't witnessed the police threaten women and children and provide empty promises, Tommy is confident in his assertion that they've "found each other" because Grace has told him so explicitly that he's truly "seen her" as she's seen him, and neither wants to look away.

Grace understands whose reactions to fear when giving bad news - who the real threat to her life is. Grace slowly and hesitantly goes to grap Campbell's hand (as the first and last time she voluntarily touches him) and formally addresses him as "Mr. Campbell," while trying to let a violent man down gently by lying and telling him, "you deserve better."

It's a lie he easily sees through, showing Grace his true colors once again. He immediately gets aggressive, stepping towards Grace, screaming in her face, "Is it the beast that dug this grave? Is it him between us?". This is in sharp contrast to the gangster that she actually betrayed, but who never showed her any anger or made any threats. Tommy wishes her well and his continued love when parting at the end of the season, while Cambpell tries to murder her.

Campbell's bullet wound from Grace is a physical reminder of Grace for Campbell, Tommy, and the audience. While she is not there, no one has forgotten her, and every visual and auditory cue of Campbell's cane echos her presence in these men's thoughts.

In 2x01, Churchill challenges Campbell's choice in using Tommy in spite of their history. Campbell assures him that this is why he is the best choice as to apply pressure, you need to know a man's weakness and I "know his weaknesses intimately" - a direct reference to Grace as he once spied on Tommy and Grace dancing in her apartment intimiately. Thus, the audience is reminded that Campbell's intertwining his personal petty grievances with his work have helped Tommy before. In 1x05, Campbell calls off the police raid when he learns that Tommy's gone off with Grace. Moss questions the choice, too, as it's not the smart, logical choice, and thus one that helped save his life. He chooses his pride over the job then.

While Campbell's goal is to use Tommy and then dispose of him once and for all, because of his resentment over Grace choosing Tommy, Campbell will save Tommy's life once again as they interrupt Sabini's attack on him at the end of the episode. And with that, we see once again that Grace isn't Tommy's weakness. When Campbell comes to the hospital to threaten and blackmail him, Tommy is the first person to mention Grace's name. While Tommy is senestive about Grace, he can and will bring her up when he wants to. And he calls on her memory to help him through this situation. Just as Campbell assumes that she is Tommy's weakness, Tommy knows that she is Campbell.

Tommy assumes correctly that Campbell is just as hung up over Grace as he is. He can't imagine someone being able to get over her, as he sure hasn't, and he uses the memory of her to disrupt Campbell's own control and strategy over the situation. With a pointed causualness, Tommy provides details of Grace's life, letting us know that he has kept tabs on her, wanting to stay connected to her even as they are ocean's apart. He relates that she's in New York and knows even more specifically that she's living in a "place call Poughkeepsie" and most importantly that she's "married now." In knowing how much that devastates him, he assumes that it will have a similar impact on Campbell.

Just as Tommy hasn't moved on, Campbell similarly shares Grace's personal details attacking Tommy's insecurities, letting him know he also knows that she's married, "to a banker. He's rich. I'm sure she's very happy," as he pokes at what Tommy wanted to provide Grace himself - economic security, but most of all, happiness.

While Campbell's information could come from Grace's family and abuse of his position, Tommy's obviously comes from Grace herself as we are told by Lizzie that a letter from "Poughkeepsie" arrived for him at his new offices in Digbeth. Both of them have ensured that they other has their new addresses keeping in touch. Obviously, the letter that season 1 ends on and season 2 opens with is not the last contact they've had in the last two years. We can see how much Tommy hasn't moved on; even though she's married now, he is still keeping communication open between them.

Campbell's remark is one that hurts, and thus, Tommy pivots to the physical discomfort Grace imparted - which visually symbolizes her presence for the rest of the reason.

Tommy says, "I imagine being shot by a woman hurts the same as being shot by a man. Just a bit more shameful." He emphasizes how while Grace has left them both, she only wanted to leave one of them behind and that the person she truly hurt purposefully isn't Tommy. In the end, she picked Tommy over everything else: her job, her family's expectations and status, her grief and plots of revenge, and her previous convictions about law, honor, and moralty.

Tommy declares that "every time you lean on that stick, I bet you see her face," as Tommy himself does. He is so sure that her memory haunts Campbell, willing to "bet" when he is someone who typically fixes bets in his favor. Tommy sees and remembers Grace everywhere. So, in his view, why would Campbell be any different.

Therefore, we see the door of the future Tommy imagined for them still open. Even if she's married, Grace is still the person he longs for every day; even him burning her letters isn't enough to truly burn the bridge between them - but more on that next time.

#tommy x grace #tommy shelby #grace shelby #grace burgess #peaky blinders

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sweet-chimera · 3 months

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My oc smells like

Plants: Peony, honey suckle, clovers, and dewy moss

nature-y things: The yankee candle mountain rain scent, and bee propolis

Baked goods: She's constantly baking so she usually smels like boxed cake mix or smells the taste of a Cinnabon

For fancy occasions: She would wear perfume thats just a bit too long lasting and alcoholy for most peoples tastes. The type of scent that slaps you in the face as she walks by and lingers on your clothes and car seats if she touches you

Dangerous scents: Hints of ash, burning wood, something stringent and acidic, and like a poison garden

Tagged by: @muppeteyes1001 (Love them, interact with me more please)

tagging: @autarchi0s @valiant-au-save-slot-a @splinter-sister @as-above-rp @strikers-saloon @ira-sturm @murdxrxfcrxws

#dash games

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01sentencereviews · 4 months

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2023

Anatomy of a Fall (Justine Triet)

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (Kelly Fremon Craig)

Beau Is Afraid (Ari Aster)

The Curse, "Land of Enchantment" [S01.E01] (Nathan Fielder)

Gush (Fox Maxy) @ New Directors/New Films 2023

How to Blow Up a Pipeline (Daniel Goldhaber)

I Thought the World of You (Kurt Walker) @ Persistent Visions Program 1: Always and Only Place, MoMI

Killers of the Flower Moon (Martin Scorsese) [+ its teaser trailer]

Knock at the Cabin (M. Night Shyamalan)

May December (Todd Haynes) @ Opening Night, NYFF61

Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Christopher McQuarrie) in IMAX

My Own Private Final Destination (Alexandra McVicker & Zach Donovan) @ KGB Red Room (09/13/2023)

Oppenhemier (Christopher Nolan) in IMAX 70MM

Our Home Out West (Drew Tobia)

The Outwaters (Robbie Banfitch) [+ Card Zero & File VL-624 (Robbie Banfitch)]

Passages (Ira Sachs)

Priscilla (Sofia Coppola)

Renaissance World Tour (Beyoncé) @ SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, CA (09/01/2023)

Saint Omer (Alice Diop)

Stop Making Sense - IMAX (Jonathan Demme)

Succession, “With Open Eyes” (Mark Mylod & Jesse Armstrong)

Sunset Boulevard (Jamie Lloyd), West End Production (10/17/2023)

The Swan (Wes Anderson) [+ Asteroid City (Wes Anderson)]

Vanderpump Rules, “#Scandoval” [S10.E15]

The Zone of Interest (Jonathan Glazer)

+++

Birth/Rebirth (Laura Moss)

Creed III (Michael B. Jordan)

The Boy and the Heron (Hayao Miyazaki)

the crash sequences in Ferrari (Michael Mann)

The Holdovers (Alexander Payne)

John Wick: Chapter 4 (Chad Stahelski)

The Killer (David Fincher)

Master Gardener (Paul Schrader)

Monster (Hirokazu Kore-eda)

PARADISE LOST (Richard Hines) @ Daniel Cooney Fine Art

Poor Things (Yorgos Lanthimos)

Reality (Tina Satter)

Rotting in the Sun (Sebastián Silva)

Smoking Causes Coughing (Quentin Dupieux)

SPRING/BREAK Art Show 2023

Suzume (Makoto Shinkai)

Teen Art Salon - A Protospective @ MoMA PS1

Thanksgiving (Eli Roth)

To Catch a Killer (Damián Szifron)

“Very Delta #65 "Are You A Forever Eye-Con Like Me?” (w/ Raja)”

the 3D sequences in A Woman Escapes (Blake Williams, Sofia Bohdanowicz, & Burak Çevik)

-----------------------

Performances, 2023:

Dave Bautista - Knock at the Cabin

Robert De Niro - Killers of the Flower Moon

Cole Escola - Our Home Out West

Mia Goth - Infinity Pool

Elle Graham - Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

Sandra Huller - Anatomy of a Fall & The Zone of Interest

Soya Kurokawa - Monster

Guslagie Malanda - Saint Omer

Rachel McAdams - Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.

Julianne Moore - May December

Natalie Portman - May December

Addison Rae - Thanksgiving

Judy Reyes - Birth/Rebirth

Margot Robbie - Barbie

Franz Rogowski - Passages

Mark Ruffalo - Poor Things

Kamiki Ryunosuke - Godzilla Minus One

Dominic Sessa - The Holdovers

Nicole Scherzinger - Sunset Boulevard

Cailee Spaeny - Priscilla

Emma Stone - The Curse

Alyssa Sutherland - Evil Dead Rise

Sigourney Weaver - Master Gardner

Sophie Wilde – Talk to Me

Teo Yoo - Past Lives

#best of 2023 #lists #personal #best of #renaissance #anatomy of a fall #Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.#knock at the cabin #may december #my own private final destination #the outwaters #priscilla #stop making sense #sunset boulevard

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sushiikando · 9 months

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P4.... of my artfight.... posting... (MY HANDS)

this ones just gonna be dragons/cats/wolves your normal ferals basically

not gonna include fandom characters theyre coming up next

this post fucked me over so bad because it deleted itself in the middle of editing

i was so nearly done

it would have been fine but most people here have no tumblr to credit so its a pain cause I have to link the toyhouse an all that jazz

Starcattz (Toyhouse) Thistle

Spiced_Lotus_ (Instagram) Unnamed

kiza223 (Toyhouse) Ira

JJrainbow (Toyhouse) Moss

Plutoart (Toyhouse) Party at Midnight

parallel_lines (Toyhouse) Sasha

squirtyfart (please dont ask i dont know why either) (toyhouse)

TON-618

anzuraptor (twitter) Kuu

Cerealki113rr (Toyhouse) Avery

@zouyx Ciyu

@rootmash Paris

AlienGutts (Toyhouse) Cyanide

@kromiecore Ollie and @toaddan Rafa

DoubleJump (Toyhouse) Bylex

Peachy_Sonder (Toyhouse) Custom Character

ChocoSpecks (Toyhouse) Isanti

Poppliowo (Instagram) Lynn

#art #digital art #character art #oc #anthro #kandosart #furry #cat #artfight #artfight 2023 #af 2023 #dragon #kaiju #plantfolk

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scorsesedepalmafan · 2 years

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Hi there! For the Three Songs Ask Game: 3, 11 and 30, please! <3 Hope you'll feel better soon and take care!!! <3 <3 <3

Hi :'D, Thank you so much for sending these in :D And thank you :')

Ok so 😅 I've said this before but "Couldn't Love You More" by John Martyn because of Nervous Energy (A Molina movie you should definitely check out!! <3 - it's a beautiful queer love story!). I just think of Ira and Tom and when they first met every time and my heart just goes <333.

"I Found My Love in Portofino" by Dalida <33. I think of a certain someone (fictional) every time djkndkj.

"Boys Don't Cry" by The Cure!! This song means a lot to me... but I was recently re-listening because of the movie 😓

11: Oh!! This is a really interesting one, umm.

Ok so I'll go for one of the most eclectic soundtracks ever

FÜHRE MICH - Rammstein

WALTZ NO. 2 - Dmitri Shostakovich

DAS RHEINGOLD: VERWANDLUNGSMUSIK - Richard Wagner

BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE - Talking Heads (cheated with 4 lol these are my favs)

Ok these songs are used in such an epic way in this movie (do I need to say the movie? ahaha.) This movie is so amazing and disturbing to me, and I feel there's a lot of things can be identified with, but it is quite controversial, lol. I saw this movie quite a few times in my late teens (yeah It's Nymphomaniac by Lars von Trier, sry)

30. No!! You did that one for me too!! God I have no any idea (k I'm gonna check my playlist). Ok so:

L'appuntamento by Ornella Vanoni

Dettagli (Detalhes) by Ornella Vanoni

Cinema Paradiso "soundtrack final" "Tema finale" "final theme" by Ennio Morricone.

Ok the first two are just great writing inspo for me and last one I mean you need to know Ennio Morricone's beautiful music. (I kinda have an unquenchable Italian taste smh)

#thank you for these lol #my taste kinda comes out with these #music ask game #ira moss #tom kelso #nervous energy #dalida #boys don't cry #the cure #lars von trier's nymphomaniac #ornella vanoni #ennio morricone #ronaldrx

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kingbriar · 3 months

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⟨Seth Rollins. cis male. he/they. 37.⟩ We just saw Ansel Briar entering L’Antique C’est Chic. I heard through the grapevine that their loyalties lie with the Jolly Rogers and that they also go by the King of Hearts. Be careful, they work for them as an assassin and can sometimes be bored by repetition, jealous, petty, or even bloodthirsty but I’ve also heard some people say that they were dedicated, confident and quite stylish.— Moss. they/them. 23. EST. violence against children (< 10)

AESTHETIC | MUSIC | LONDON FALLING RPG

STATS

Real name: Ansel Ford Briar

Code name: King of Hearts

Alliance: Jolly Rogers

Job: Contract Assassin. (Works part time coaching at Crossfit North London, esp in conditioning. Bit of a reputation for being intense, but that’s the point, right?)

Age: 37

Physical: 6'1", 225 lbs

Birthplace: Houlton, Maine, US

DOB: August 10, 1986

Star sign: Leo

Gender: Male-adjacent (he/they)

Sexuality: Bisexual disaster

FC: Seth Rollins

Family: Dan Briar (Father), Evelyn Summers-Briar (Mother), Four Siblings (I'll name 'em someday), Rebecca Briar (formerly Ballagh, Ex-Wife)

BIOGRAPHY

Ansel’s from the sticks. His father was a hunter first and owner of the local general store second, born and raised in the woods of northern Maine, where his mother settled there later with a group of poets and artists who were inspired by the quiet snowy mountains and the way the sun shines through the leaves. Those same mountains meant she had to be driven nearly two hours in the family’s beater red pickup to the nearest hospital to bring him and his younger siblings into the world. All of them were hard on her, but that didn’t stop them from having five kids.

His mother called him Ansel, after Ansel Adams. His dad said that was some pretentious bullshit and always called him Andy, or the leader of the pack, so Ansel did his best to step up and be the best role model he could. He started following his father out hunting when he was five, and maybe they should’ve started worrying when he took to it so quickly. Maybe Ansel had a couple too many questions about how to balance wearing camo to blend in with bright, flashy hunter oranges and yellows, but was happy enough to sit still and quiet, listening for a broken twig or rustling leaves, and he never cried when his dad showed how they’d have to slit a buck’s throat to kill it quickly if the first shot didn’t get it done. Ansel killed his first deer at 8 without his dad holding the rifle steady, skinned it a little too quickly and held onto the antlers as a trophy as long as he could.

Ansel went to a university in Boston, and both reveled in finally being a small fish in a much bigger pond, and itched for attention. He studied literature to keep his mother happy, spent hours hitting the gym to look more impressive than he was and make up for the lack of mountains to climb, and made the rounds through anyone looking for a messy one-night stand.

But then met Rebecca Ballagh in some 300 level poetry class he suddenly had to pretend he cared about. She was something special, had enough of a dangerous edge that Ansel couldn’t get bored of her if he tried. He met her family at a shooting range outside the city after dating for about a year, and they offered to put him up and give him a job if he wanted to stay in Boston. It took him a little too long to realize her family were the last, quiet dregs of the Winter Hill Gang and US-based IRA that were slowly building themselves back up, but hey, the one thing he’d missed about home was hunting.

A person ain’t too different from a deer, to a wolf. Everything bleeds the same.

But now that he ran with a pack again, it came with new rules. Clean up, cut your hair, kid. Pipe down. Dress like everyone else. Wear black. Shut the fuck up and become a ghost. Becca helped when she could, but she liked him better this way too. Colder, a soldier. They got married in 1998, and Ansel didn’t quite look like himself in the pictures.

He tried as hard as he could to just focus on blending in- you don’t wear camo without orange, you’ll get shot- but the longer he stayed, the whole gang made his skin crawl. Every hit was scripted down to the second, and if he deviated from it in the moment to keep himself alive and useful he got beat down and hung out to dry in front of the rest of the gang. He started spending more time at their local crossfit box than with his wife. At least something was intensive enough to make him feel something. But even that after a while started to feel monotonous. The same fights with the family. The same rotation of classes and workouts and late night jobs. The same accusations that he was having an affair with his trainer. Always the fucking same. Boredom sunk its claws into him, but breaking routine only shortened his leash.

They slowly fell apart over seven years, until Becca served him their divorce papers in 2004. Maybe he bitterly sent an anonymous tip to the local PD about the plans for the family’s next few moves the day before they had to appear in court. Served them right, Ansel thought. At least until cops had barricaded the entrance to his new studio apartment he just finished moving into a week later, saying that they’d been given anonymous information that warranted arrest and trial.

He didn’t know who else to call except one of the gang’s lawyers, who came in all smug smiles and talked him through exactly what had been given to the cops like he’d written up the list. With the given evidence, he would have done life in prison and paid thousands of dollars in fines on top of legal fees. But by already coming back to them? The gang could put in some work, get it down to a lot of hearsay and a manslaughter charge on one of the hits that Ansel had really fucked up. The angle was clear, and the gang were convinced that by getting it down to ONLY 15 years in a State Prison, he’d have to come crawling back to them on his knees. He walked free in 2019, finally sick of sick of sewing orange and camo, but with enough scattered online classes for a quasi fashion degree and a developed enough collection that he could apply and get his visa to work a brutal, grunt seamstress job at Burberry, and get the fuck away from Boston before he could even be approached by his former pack.

Being American and an ex-convict did him very little favors and that job was falling through before he knew it, but he had found a couple crossfit boxes along the way, and did his best to fight off the bone-deep itch to draw blood other than pricking his own fingers, and take sharpened fabric scissors to someone’s flesh. The wolf was almost free of his chains, screaming to be fed so he could be truly free and then suddenly he’d killed his landlord after Burberry fired him and Ansel couldn’t quite scratch together rent. A vague shape of a heart carved into the side of his neck with a kitchen knife just so he could watch it bleed. Instinct took over, and he covered his ass, watched the press run wild, and was quickly approached by a different sort of pack. Not a family, like Winter hill, but a crew. The Jolly Rodgers.

#face | seth freakin rollins #about the boy

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