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eleanorbloom · 4 years

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When You’re Ready Ch. 10

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 5.3k (Sorry!!!)

Warning: Innuendos at the beginning, then, just angst and a bit of cursing.

A/N: Yes, I’m sorry. Today’s chapter is the longest I’ve done so far, but it’s worth it (at least to me) because is about my babyyyy. Things are going to get harder from now on, so I’m excited for the upcoming chapters!! I hope you enjoy the angst because there’s more to come. Hehe.

A/N2: I’m gonna post some One Shots for Kinktober, so I was wondering if anyone wants to be tagged? It will be BrycexEleanor and DrakexMC from The Royal Romance. I’ve never published anything for TRR but I’m planning to write something in the future. Meanwhile, I’ll exercise with some smut muahaha. So let me know if you wanna be tagged 😏

Taglist @utterlyinevitable @binny1985 @shanzay44 @choicesficwriterscreations @laiba-the-person @starrystarrytrouble @lahellacute @lucy-268 @aylamreads @cinnamonspongecake @romewritingshop @angela8756

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Chapter 10: Stay.

Funny you’re the broken one

But I’m the only one who needed saving.

“Is that Raf?”—Eleanor raised her head from Bryce’s chest and stared at the ceiling, trying to prick up her ear.

At the distance, it was heard a deep voice in the middle of a mix of laughter.

“Yeah, that’s totally him.”

“What is he doing here so early?”

“Early?”—He chuckled—"It’s midday, babe.”

“Midday?!”—She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and checked. It was 12.10.—"And how we slept through all morning?”

“We stayed up late, don’t you remember? I think we got here like 3 am and then you just couldn’t shut up about how mad you were because Ramsey is being irrational about the influencer girl.”

“Oh, right. Drunken rant.”—Her cheeks blushed—“I’m sorry”

“Why are you sorry?”

“For making you hear all this crap when probably I ranted all night at Donahue’s about it.”

“Actually, you were just pissed off that Ramsey was mad at you, but when we got here you said the real stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Like you think that Ramsey is suspecting about your relationship with me and he’s taking it on you. He’s mad because you went behind his back with the Gwyneth thing, obviously, but he has contained his rage for weeks, and now he’s just… exploding.”

“Oh, fuck, you’re right, I did say that—She covered her face with both hands—"God, I’m so stupid.”

“Why? I think you’re right. He’s been acting like an ass with me this whole time too, he looks at me like I’m a piece of garbage or something.”

“But it’s really unprofessional that he is taking a work issue to an extreme just because he is what? Jealous? Mad that I’m getting over him? It’s very inconsistent of him.”

“Yes, it is. Are you going to do something about it?”

“Like what?”

“Like talk to him, tell him to stop,, that he shouldn’t take it on you at work just because he’s jealous.”

“I… I don’t know, I wouldn’t like to mix things, maybe I’m wrong.”

“You’re not wrong, Elle. You can’t let him be this ass with you, much less affect your work.”

Bryce saw how her head inside was spinning around, and her hands tensed over his rib cage.

“Just think about it.”—He added, stroking her hair comfortingly—"Don’t think for a second this is your fault, ‘cause it’s not. He made his choice in the first place.”

“I know…”

Eleanor leaned on her elbow to look at him in the eyes, smiling faintly at him.

“Thank you for being so understanding”

Bryce smiled back and then caressed her cheek while his eyes were expressing tenderness and protection.

She nuzzled into his soft chest losing herself into the sweet scent from his neck.

“Let’s focus on something less stressing and boring instead”—She whispered, lovingly.

“Like what?”—He asked tantalizingly roaming his hands through her back.

“Like the fact that I’m finally waking up with you.”

“Aw, you woke up really sugary today, uh?”

“Don’t you like it?”—She asked seriously.

“I have sweet tooth just because of you.”

“Awwww”—Eleanor encircled her arms around his neck pulling him down to her lips.—“You’re saying I’m sugary, but you just gave me a diabetic coma.”

“And I am having constipation ‘cause you, Eleanor Bloom, are being too cheesy.”

She burst out laughing, resonating in the whole apartment.

“Bryce! You’re impossible.”

“And you are impopsicle, babe.”—Before she could retort anything, he caught her lips into his, his hands travelling slowly down her bum. He deepened the kiss the moment she opened her mouth in a sigh.

“Do we have time for a quickie before getting ready for the concert?”

“Is it me or you’re doubting about your timing skills?”

“No, I’m just asking for consent.”

“We are wasting precious seconds, Dr. Lahela.”

Both chuckled before Eleanor pushed him against the bed and climbed on top of him, the sheets falling and pooling behind her, exposing her bare body.

“Sweet, sweet cowgirl ride me till the end of the world if you want”

Eleanor laughed hard again.

“Yeehaw!”—She joked between laughs.

This time it took like two minutes to make her stop. It would have been more if it weren’t for Bryce, who replaced her laughs for other more improper exclamations that soon had to be hushed too.

By the time Bryce and Eleanor appeared in the living room, all their friends were ready for the Music Festival Eleanor had invited them, courtesy of her patient, Gwyneth Monroe. After a quick chat, they all headed to Cambridge, excited for the new adventure.

The group spent the afternoon eating, drinking, playing lawn games and, of course, enjoying the music. At some point, they split when Eleanor, Kyra, and Aurora decided to see an art exposition while Bryce, Elijah, and Jackie joined Sienna to see an indie band she had been fangirling all afternoon.

Once the group met again, an hour later, it didn’t take long for Bryce and Eleanor to get lost in the crowd, enjoying the music while savoring the moment alone in the open air.

The sun was about to set when Bryce felt his phone buzzing. As he pulled it out of his pocket the letters froze him. He ended the call and saw 10 missing calls and a lot of messages in the notification bar.

“Bryce, where are you?”

“I’m outside your apartment.”

“Bryce, please answer me! Are you at work?”

Eleanor stared at him worried, sensing his nervousness.

“Is everything alright?”

“I… I have to go.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Nothing, I just remembered tomorrow I have a really difficult surgery and I need to study up.”

“Okay.”—Her brows knitted, suspicious.

He kissed her quickly and turned to leave, but she caught his wrist before he could get lost in the crowd.

“Bryce!”

“What?”—He replied, trying to hide the fear that was invading him just right.

“If something wrong you can tell me, you know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

He smiled faintly and gave her one last kiss before walking out of the crowd.

He didn’t know how he reached the parking lot and got in the car, his hands were trembling and a knot of anxious had settled in his stomach. He pulled the phone out and called back.

“Bryce!”—He heard on the other end of the line—"God, I’ve been trying to reach you for hours, where are you?!”

“Keiki, what’s going on? How is that that you’re in Boston?”

“I’ll explain later, are you coming?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there in forty.”

“Hurry up, I’m bored to death here.”

When he got to his floor, she found a tall girl in a red leather jacket sitting against his door, a backpack between her legs. He barely recognized her, even if he had seen dozens of pictures of her on her social networks. She was a teenager now, not the little girl that said goodbye to him with tears in her eyes when he left for college.

“Keiki”

“Bryce”—She said getting up from the floor. He opened the door a few moments later and both got in.

“Can you explain to me now what you are doing here?”

“Hey, bro, I’m glad to see you too.”—She ironized—“Thanks for the kind welcoming.”

“Keiki, please.”

“I ran away from home, okay?”

“You what?”

“I don’t wanna live there anymore.”

“Keiki, you can’t do that”

“Why not? You did it.”

“I went for college…”—He replied, feeling the guilt sharpening inside him.

“Yes, and then you never came back because you couldn’t stand our parents. It’s the same with me.”

“That doesn’t excuse that you escaped from home and underage. Do you have a plan? Or you’ll just wait until they come here to take you back and maybe they will report me for child kidnap?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Bryce. They wouldn’t that.”

“Still this isn’t right, Keiki. It could’ve happened something to you on your way here.”

“Yeah, but it would have been worth it if it means not spend another second in Maui.”

Bryce looked at her, intrigued. He couldn’t understand how things were bad for her if she had everything she wanted back in Hawai. A room the size of his apartment, all the clothes she wanted, and millions of things to do. But that was enough? He knew well it wasn’t.

“Can I stay with you?”

“Of course, Keiki, but you’ll go back tomorrow. Call mom to know if she can buy you a ticket flight back, I’m not sure I have the money for that.”

“Don’t you understand? I’m not coming back there, Bryce. Period.”

He shook his head and sighed. It was impossible to reason with her, and he knew it wouldn’t get anything by pushing her even more.

“Call her to let her know you’re here, then.”

“I bet she already knows.”

She seated on the couch, looking at him defiantly. He just ignored her act.

“Have you eaten something?”

“Some Doritos I bought around the corner.”

“What do you want to eat? I’m calling a delivery.”

“You don’t cook? I want real food, Bryce.”

“I’m a surgeon, not a chef, Keiki”

“Either way, you should know how to feed yourself by now, how you have survived all these years?”

“Take out.”

“Unbelievable”

Bryce didn’t know what to do. Maybe he could just watch a video on Youtube and cook something basic to save the day. Eleanor’s face popped in his mind, but he shook off the idea as soon as it emerged. Calling her would implicate to tell her the truth about his family and he wasn’t ready for that.

“Okay.”—He said after some deliberation—"I’ll go to the grocery store, so you have food for breakfast tomorrow and all that. Do you wanna go with me?”

“Nah, I’m tired, I think I’m gonna lay down a bit.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll be back in a bit.”

The moment he was out of the apartment, Bryce rubbed his hand across his face in exasperation. He didn’t know what to do, how to deal with his sister, and with the mistake he had been making all those years.

He always knew he shouldn’t have left her sister just like he did; never go back to Maui; call her just once in a while to finally only for her birthday. The guilt that has been accompanying him for ten years was materializing now in one of his worst fears: face his sister and deal with the consequences of his abandonment, the rage and the loneliness she might be feeling, all without prior notice.

He tried to clear his mind. At that moment he needed to stay calm to give Keiki the stability she had come to look for with him. He was the adult there, so he couldn’t let the feelings overwhelm him and make Keiki feel worse than she already was.

Once he regained calmness, Bryce made his way to the grocery store where he collected all the ingredients for a spaghetti recipe he read on the internet, plus some vegetables, fruits, bread, butter, bacon, eggs, cookies, Doritos, so Keiki would have something to have breakfast and eat while she was at his place.

When the doors of the elevator opened again on his floor, she found the silhouette of a woman with a black and golden dress on, talking to Keiki. He froze for a moment until both directed to him.

“Elle”

“Hi Bryce”—She looked at him surprised, while Keiki just eyed them, leaning in the door frame, arms crossed.—“What’s happening?”

“Let’s get inside and talk, okay?”

Keiki moved backwars to let Bryce and Eleanor in. He went straight to the kitchen and set the bags over the counter meticulously, like trying to gain some time before facing her. After a few moments, Bryce turned to Eleanor.

“Elle, this is my sister Keiki. She arrived today from Maui. She’s visiting.”

“Like hell. I told you I’m not planning to go back there, Bryce.”—She barked while she was flopping on the couch with the remote control in her hand.

“Hi Keiki, I’m Eleanor, nice to meet you”—She replied, giving a smile, even if she wasn’t looking at her.

“Yeah”—The girl just said, her eyes not moving from the TV.

Bryce just sighed, making evident his frustration. Eleanor looked at him worried and then pulled him to the kitchen.

“Can you explain to me now what’s happening? Why your sister ran away from home? Hell, I didn’t even know you had a sister, Bryce.”

Even if he wasn’t ready to talk about it, Bryce knew it wasn’t fair Eleanor didn’t know he had a sister, while she had talked about her family countless times.

“Elle, I…”—Now another fear was materializing: telling the truth about his family to someone from Boston. To the woman he loved, no less.—“To make a long story short, my family was a big deal in Hawaii. When I was in high school my dad went to jail for insider trading, and my mom only got off by testifying against him even though she was right there helping him the whole time.”

Eleanor gazed thoughtfully at him until she realized.

“Oh my god, Bryce… Your parents are The Lahelas? As in property tycoons turned white collars criminals The Lahelas?”

“That’s my family, and Keiki lives with them back in Hawaii. Dad got paroled a while ago for good behavior.”

Bryce saw as she remained in silence, surprise in her eyes. He couldn’t help but wince, waiting for the disappointed look, the disgust, the judgment. But nothing of it came. She instead tried to understand why Keiki was running away from home, what could have triggered that. She tried to convince him that this was not a simple rebellion as he was thinking. There was no judgment in her eyes or words. She just focused on Keiki and how to help him to deal with her.

Once Bryce felt less tense, he asked Eleanor to help him with dinner, which she accepted gladly. Half an hour later, the three of them enjoyed a plate of pasta that felt tastier as it was a result of collaborative work.

Even if Keiki was hesitant to talk at first, the food put her in such a good mood that Eleanor got her to chat a bit with her, Bryce observing the exchange with admiration. From the answers, Eleanor could tell Keiki was a smart girl and mature for her age; she had a hot temper but the same self-assurance Bryce had, even the same smirks and looks.

“Thanks for dinner, Eleanor. .”—Keiki said before going to sleep.—"Good to know I won’t starve to death my first night here.”

“You’re welcome. It was nice to meet you, Keiki.”

She smiled at her and then got to the room.

Eleanor and Bryce stood in silence for a bit, none of then sure who had to speak first.

“Bryce, why you never told me? This is big.”—Eleanor finally said, standing in front of him, concerned.

“I know… I just…I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of you judging me.”

“Judge you? How could I judge you, Bryce?”

“Because it has always been like this. People know me and it’s okay at first, but then, when they know that I’m the son of a criminal, they assure me it’s okay but they never look at me the same, never treat me the same. They look at me like I’m about to do something, or like I’m a professional liar and I’m trying to cheat on them.”

“Bryce..”—She whispered, cupping his cheeks, her eyes full of sadness.

“I wanted to start from scratch here, no one knowing about my parents, no one judging me for that, just focusing on what I am, on how hard I worked to be at Edenbrook and be known for that.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”—She said as he took him in her arms, embracing him tightly.

They stayed in silence for a while.

“How could you ever think that I would judge you, that I would treat you like that? I would never, Bryce. Never.”

“I know but some part of me thought you would.”

“Now I understand why you always changed the topic when I asked you.”

He nodded.

“But now you know you can trust me, right? Whatever you need, I’ll have your back.”

“I know, but… it’s not that simple, Eleanor. Since high school, people have seen me as a disease the moment they know I’m a Lahela, so I’ve never had anyone to trust about what I felt or just tell…stuff… the stress, the sadness… the things friends share. I never needed anyone to deal with problems, I could do it on my own until… until I met you, but I’ve ignored the feeling because I don’t wanna hold on to you, I’m scared that you’ll go away and I’ll lose the one person I trusted.”

“Why would I go?”

“Because nothing’s settled between us. There’s still the possibility that you’ll go with Ramsey or simply break up with me because you don’t want me anymore.”

“Bryce, we’ve been together for two whole months, I’m not planning to go anywhere.”

“Yeah, that’s what you say now, but you still want our relationship to be a secret because you don’t want Ramsey to know and make it a reality, because some part of you don’t want it to be true.”

“How can you say that?”

“Don’t be hypocrite Eleanor, please. I’m not stupid.”—Bryce retorted, hurt. She had never seen him this serious and cold.

“It’s not like that. And I don’t get where you’re going with this.”

“My point is, Eleanor, that I want to trust you, I really do want to tell you what is happening inside my head, but I can’t if the one person I can trust maybe won’t be here with me in two months or in a year. It doesn’t work like that with me. I have to keep on my own as always.”

“Bryce, no matter what, I’ll always be here for you, even if things turn out different-”

“No, Eleanor”—He interrupted—“Please don’t do this. Don’t be this selfish, thinking that if we end up things, we could go back to what we were. If I hold on you, I don’t know how I’ll deal with losing you or be away from you while I heal.”

“Bryce… Don’t be afraid, sometimes you have to take a leap of faith…”

“Don’t you think I haven’t taken enough leaps, Eleanor? I showed my feelings for you, I told you I loved you even before we were dating. You’re the only person I’ve done that with, and yet there is always a possibility that you won’t feel the same ever. And what about you? Yeah, you took a leap when you started dating me, but you can’t take a leap in leaving Ramsey in the past, tell him the truth, scrub all over his face that you moved on, because your ego is terrified that you weren’t enough to heal him. So, don’t dare to tell me that I should take a leap.”

He turned around and sat on the couch, both hands over his hair.

Eleanor looked at him, seeing the real Bryce for the first time. The Bryce that feels in pain, angry, annoyed, frustrated. Vulnerable. Human. The side she had never seen in him and she always wanted to know.

She took a few steps towards him and squatted down to face him.

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to push you —She murmured—”I just want you to know that I’m here for you if you need me, okay?”

“I know, but I don’t think I’m ready for this, Eleanor. This is too much, and I need to deal with this on my own, that’s how I know best.”

“I understand.—She said softly, while taking his hands on hers.

The moment he felt his touch, his eyes threatened with tears and a knot ached in his throat. He pulled away from her grip.

“I… uh… I need you to go, Eleanor. I want to be alone.”

“Of course”—She replied, standing up.

Once she collected her things she went to the door.

“Whatever you decide, just remember that I want the best for you, Bryce. I know we are in a complicated situation right now, but I’m doing my best to end this hell soon.”

And she left.

Bryce stood unmoved on the couch recounting the events of the past hours as the tears streamed down his face.

His biggest fears had occurred, and now he was feeling the incessant need of trusting Eleanor, tell her all the pain that was buried in his heart, but he just couldn’t. Just like his issues about his parents, he had been burying the thoughts about Eleanor not wanting to confront Ethan about their relationship. He knew she still loved him and couldn’t blame her for that, but it was hurting him more than he thought, and he had just ignored his feelings and not said anything to her because if he opened up to Eleanor, even for one single thing, it would be like to open the pandora box, and he wasn’t ready to let all go.

Things were difficult in the next days. Keiki was absolutely decided to stay with him, especially since his parents didn’t reach him or Keiki to make her come back to Maui, and he still didn’t know how to deal with Keiki, because at any try of conversation, they ended up fighting or she ignoring his tries to be friendly.

The frustration and guilty were getting bigger and bigger.

He didn’t speak to Eleanor, and barely spend time with the rest of his friends. He just locked in on himself, focusing on working hard, and go straight home to be with Keiki even if they didn’t say anything or just argued. She was alone all day so she needed some company, and he really wanted to understand her, bonding with her and be like they were before, o maybe not like before, but he wanted to be her brother again.

However, soon he realized that he had been too harsh with Eleanor. Even if she was still in love with Ethan and didn’t want to make it official, it was all within their agreement. And more importantly, she had always been very respectful of their relationship, because she had only eyes and time for Bryce, and even if she wasn’t ready to commit, to tell the truth to Ethan and stop loving him, she was all in the relationship with him. He was her priority, he sensed that. He knew it. Because she had been refusing any contact with Ethan since he was back. When Bryce assumed that Eleanor had kissed him the night she stayed at Donahue’s, the reality was different. And Ethan’s behavior the past weeks was proof of that. So, he felt bad for reacting that way. She didn’t deserve it when she only wanted to help.

Bryce was walking by the fourth floor, expecting to find Eleanor there, when he heard heated voices inside an empty room.

“This anger you have against me is about something else and I won’t allow it, Ethan.”

“What do you mean by ‘something else’?”

“Not work-related. You have been an ass to me for weeks, and whatever might be your reason, you’re being unprofessional and you’re exactly what you wanted to avoid.”

Then, absolute silence.

If Bryce was right, Eleanor was confronting Ethan about his behavior in the past weeks. She didn’t address the problem openly, but it was clearly a step he thought she wouldn’t take so soon.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”—She said when she ran into him, not cathing it was him at first.—"Bryce? Hi”

“Eleanor”—They stared in silence for a moment—"I was looking for you. What time does your shift end?”

Bryce saw the brief moment Ethan passed behind Eleanor, his face impassive and cold as steel, ignoring their existence completely.

“Half an hour, I’m doing my final round. Why?”

“I need to speak to you, meet me in the atrium as always?”

“Okay, yeah.”—Her cheeks flushed and couldn’t help but look at him with hope.

“See ya later, then.”

He waited in their usual spot and finally, fifteen minutes later, she appeared.

“I’m so sorry, I had to run new tests for a patient, and it took me ages.”

“Don’t worry, I’m glad you’re here.”

“So…”

“Let’s go to my car, we can talk there.”

“Okay.

Once both got in the car, they looked at each other until Bryce broke the silence.

“Elle, I want to apologize. I realized I was too unfair with you the other day. I know you were trying to help and I just took it on you, because I was frustrated with the situation and I didn’t know how to deal with it, let alone with another person offering help.”

“It’s okay, Bryce, it’s me who should apologize. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”

“No, you were trying to help me, and I thank you for that. But I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that about Ramsey. You have been very respectful to our relationship, I want you to know that. I really appreciate it, babe. It’s just that sometimes this is… hard.”

“Bryce, listen, you were right, you don’t have to apologize for telling me the truth. I am afraid, and sadly I still have feelings for Ethan and I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to hurt you either, so it’s all so complicated.”

“I know, Elle, I know, that’s why I shouldn’t have been so rude. By no means you have been unfair or mean to me. It’s just that this is getting a bit hard for me, that’s all, especially now that I’m dealing with something big in my life and I want to hold on to you… But I’m terrified to do so.”

Eleanor rested her hands over his.

“Look, I know I can’t promise you we will be together forever, but I want you to know that our relationship it’s the most important thing to me now, and I’ll do whatever I can to take care of us. We are still in this difficult process until things are clear inside my head, but right now I want to be here for you, I want to help you with your sister and with whatever you need. Just say the word, okay?”

He smiled thankfully and then nodded.

“Truce?”—She said, offering her hand.

“Truce”—He agreed, but instead of taking her hand, he kissed her sweetly in the lips.

Eleanor giggled against him.

“God, I missed you so much.”—He sighed, parting from her just a brief moment, to keep kissing her for another couple of seconds.

“Me too. These days have been a real nightmare without you. How are you dealing with Keiki?”

“Not so well, actually. That’s why I wanted to ask you if you would like to go home with me tonight. I haven’t been able to talk with Keiki, and if you there with me, maybe I’ll understand her better. I don’t wanna fight with her anymore.”

Eleanor smiled warmly at him.

“This means that you’re letting me in?”

Bryce had made his decision but couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous.

“Yes. I want you with me in all this, Elle.”

“You won’t regret it. I promise.”

When they get home a delicious smell invaded their nostrils. Keiki was in the kitchen apparently frying some beef.

“Hey Keiki”—They both greeted.

“Hey. Eleanor, I didn’t know you were coming. I hope I’m doing enough food for the three of us.”

“We’ll make it work”—Bryce said, hopeful.

“If not, Bryce, you can call a delivery just as you like.”

“Haha, always so loving, sis. Whatcha doing?”

“Mongolian beef, I found an easy recipe on Instagram and here I am.”

“You need any help?”

“Umh, maybe with the rice, I have to chop the scallions and then have an eye on the beef.”

“Sure.”

They both washed their hands and then Eleanor taught Bryce how to cook rice while suggesting topics to talk. Some were delicate and Keiki reacted badly, but after every scowl Eleanor gave to Bryce, he tried to act more empathetic, listening to her before judging.

Once the dinner was served, the three seated with smiled on her faces.

“Keiki, this is great!”—Eleanor praised after giving the first taste to her plate.—“You had cooked before?”

“Yeah, a couple of times, but it’s not that I have the chance to do it often when you have people who cook for you”—She replied, a bit embarrassed.

“And what do you like to do? Reading? Singing? Playing an instrument? Skateboarding?”

“I like drawing, reading, and sometimes taking pictures.”

“That’s great. Boston has such beautiful places to do it.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I’ve took some really nice. ”

“You must show me them after dinner, okay?”

“Sure”

“ And what about your friends? You are not missing them now that you’re here?”

“Nah, I don’t have actual friends there, they all hate me.”

“Why they hate you?”—Bryce asked, brows furrowed.

That was the moment Bryce had been waiting since her sister got there, because with that question, Keiki let everything out.

Bryce finally knew the motives that made her leave home and fly all over the Pacific Ocean and to the other side of the country to be with him, even if they hadn’t seen each other in ten years.

And it happened that her sister was living the same hell he lived. Her classmates hated her for what his parents did, and of course, they hadn’t done anything to protect her. They only cared about their reputation.

The mistake he kept making for ten years had led to this. Her sister suffering from loneliness, abandonment, bullying. Just like he did.

“Keiki I’m …. I’m sorry I didn’t call more. I should have been looking out for you.”—Bryce finally said.

“It’s not like you could have done anything from all the way over here.”

“I could, Keiki. I should have tried, I should have done better, I should have stood in front of mom and dad if you needed me to. And I didn’t. I let this happened. But I’m gonna do better, starting from today.”

Bryce got up from the chair and opened his arms, inviting her sister to do the same. After a few moments of staring at him, she finally stood up and threw herself into his arms.

“I’m sorry I was a jerk when I turned up. And like… every day since.”—She apologized, complete sincerity in her eyes.

“The only jerk here is me. You can stay with me for as long as you need, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks, Bryce.”

“I’m sorry, Keiki. Truly.”

“Bryce, it’s okay. I’m happy that I can count on you.”

“Always.”

The three chatted on the couch until Eleanor started to feel sleepy. She and Bryce said goodnight to Keiki, who had given his bed back a couple days ago as she found out the couch really comfy and his brother needed proper rest more than her. When they locked in the room, Bryce pulled Eleanor to his chest gently, resting his forehead into hers.

“Thank you for doing this.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“All the right questions, and all those scowls and deadly glares that meant ‘stop screwing it up, Bryce’ is doing nothing? Really?”

“Ah, well. It was minimal. You did the hard job here, you get your sister to talk, and you listened to her and empathized with her. You apologized. You were the support she was looking for. You did it amazing, Bryce. Not me. I’m so proud of you.”

“This wouldn’t have been possible without you.”—He kissed her in the lips, giving her the sweetest smile she had even seen in him, it made her stomach flutter.

“Good things happen when you trust people, you see?”

“Only with you.”

“I know. And I won’t let you down.”

___

#bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #choices #playchoices #open heart #bryce x mc #bryce x casey #choices fanfiction #open heart choices #open heart fanfiction #oh choices #choices stories you play #oh fanfic #fanfic #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan x casey #ethan x f!mc

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hewwo-fwends · 3 years

Text

you gonna be okay? - pjs + zcl (NCT)

hello. I wrote this to help myself out of a mental funk kinda ting, which is really depressing in itself, but it did help. I thought it would be a waste if no one saw it, ya know? it's a bit controversial. fun fact: I made a whole new account to post this so no one I know can find me here.

so um for context, both jisung and chenle are quite a bit older than me, and I'm over a year legal in my country. anyway. here we go yeehaw.

warnings: angst (⚠️⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️⚠️ MENTIONS OF SH AND PANIC/ANXIETY ATTACKS), kinda smut (like a little bit of grinding and marking and tongue salsa), jisung has anxiety or smth idk, chenle misses jisung, ends with fluff and stuff it's kinda kyoot

word count: 4.4k

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

the recurrence of these emotions should have been the first warning sign. how he had felt this way so often over the past 3 years. maybe the first time he marked up his own body should have been the second warning sign. the numbness within him fading to a euphoric stinging sensation within seconds, then to guilt and anxiety. no one could know. then maybe the third warning sign would have been his growing dependency on things that kill you from the inside. drinking and smoking to feel anything but numb or anxious or like he wanted to be crushed under a car. but none of the above felt like warning signs to him, because between the worst lows and the happy period right after, he would forget anything happened. he would ignore it. he would tell himself it wasnt a big deal, and that no one should know. so no one did.

jisung was seen as the funny, nice friend in this way. he would listen to others' problems and help them as much as he could. he would give people his things to make them happy, not expecting to get anything back himself. he wouldn't try to make others laugh, but would feel proud when he did. people liked him in a casual way. he was a good guy, a kind guy. jisung thought that too sometimes, before he stopped himself. "don't get too into your own head." he would think. "show these people how nice you are. be the happy person that people like. that will make you happy all the time." clearly, that didn't always work. but, to fulfill his purpose, he ignored and forgot the times when he didn't live up to his happy persona. it didn't happen. he was happy. always happy. nothing but happy. and he prayed to any and all gods that he would never get caught out.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Jisung. Talk to me for a sec." Coach spoke from across the gym. Whilst still laughing about a joke with his friends, he jogged over to the coach, smiling brightly. "What's up with you today? You get enough sleep? You were all over the place. I swear I saw you trip over your own feet a couple times." Jisung's smile almost faltered, but he caught himself before it could.

"Ah, coach. You know me. I may have spent a little bit longer on Overwatch last night than usual but it's only because of this one guy that kept busting my nu- killstreak, man! I had to get him back or I wouldn't have slept at all!" Coach laughed at the teen's obvious rage thinking back to this other player and his tone softened.

"Yeah, yeah. I do get it. But don't let it happen again, alright? You're my star player and I'm counting on you for regionals. You won't let me down, right?"

"Sir, no, sir!" Jisung projected.

"You cheeky brat. Go on. Get outta here." the coach laughed as Jisung jogged back over to where his friends were joking and packing their bags.

"Hey, Sung. What was that about?" questioned Jeno, whilst spraying himself with deodorant and suffocating the rest of the group.

"Watch it, fuckface!" exclaimed Renjun, coughing up his organs.

"Oh, nothing. Just talking about regionals." Jisung replied after clearing his throat of Lynx Africa.

"Ahh, star player Jisung! But you were a bit slow today, huh? I might just steal your spot up the coach's ass, you get me?" Jaemin nudged Jisung, making the group laugh at the boy's teasing remark.

"Never in a million years, Na." Jisung shoved the boy before grabbing his bag and sidestepping away to avoid reprisal. The other boys followed this action and started walking towards the door, talking between each other.

"So, do y'all wanna get some food or something?" Haechan asked the group, hinting that he definitely did want to get some food. The group all murmured in agreement, apart from Jisung, who replied "Ah, I would love to but my mum wants me back for dinner with the family tonight."

"Aww momma's boy Jisungie. How cute." Jaemin teased before reaching to squeeze the youngest's cheeks. Jisung backed away, making sounds of fear whilst smiling at his friend's show of affection. Jaemin eventually backed off and Jisung rubbed his now red cheeks. He drifted to the back of the group walking through the school's empty corridors. A few seconds later, Chenle found his way next to him.

"Hey, are you gonna make it on the PlayStation tonight?" he asked excitedly.

"Ah, I don't know, man. Depends if my mum lets me." Jisung replied whilst rubbing the nape of his neck.

"What? But she didn't let you play last night! That's child cruelty, I swear!" his shrill voice rang through Jisung's ears, making him flinch to the side.

"Yeah. I know it sucks. But you guys are great without me, too! You'll be fine, man."Jisung reassured the loud boy. They continued to talk about the game that Jisung had missed the night before until the group reached a crossroads. They waved goodbye and Jisung split off from the group who were heading to a diner around the corner. As he walked down the pavement towards his house, he realised how dark it had gotten in only 10 minutes. It made sense as it was December, and he sighed as he looked at the expansive sky with greys and whites mixing with dark blue. As he approached his house, he noticed that the Christmas lights had been put up, white and orange fairy lights strung across the bushes outside and over the front door. He smiled to himself. As he stepped into the house, his fingers tingled from the contrast of the freezing winter air outside and the cozy central heating inside. "Mum?" Jisung shouted down the corridor whilst taking off his shoes and putting his bag on the floor.

"Hey, Sungie! How was school?" her voice appeared from the living room and Jisung walked towards it.

"Ah, same old, same old, you know?" he shrugged.

"Are you not hanging out with your friends today?" she asked as she paused her TV programme. She had been watching Rick and Morty and Jisung couldn't help but think how much she would fit in with his age group. The thought made him cringe.

"No. They were all tired and had to go home." He said whilst looking at the paused TV screen.

"Oh, well. I hope you don't mind but me and dad are going out tonight with some friends so do you mind making your own dinner? Your sister's staying at her friend's house so don't worry about her and your brother's in his room with his friend and they're doing their own thing." Jisung's mum explained. Jisung's face almost dropped but, once again, he caught himself and smiled.

"Of course, that's fine. I'll make myself some ramen. Have fun tonight!" he said as he walked out of the room and grabbed his bag.

"You too!" his mum spoke before the sound of the TV started playing again. Jisung jogged upstairs and down the corridor to his room before walking in and locking the door behind him, as was his routine. He sighed and dropped his bag on the floor, standing still by the door. Next in his routine was the sudden wave of cold that rushed over him, so much colder than the rest of the house. Then his lip would start quivering and he may have let out a whimper or two, before dropping onto his bed and sobbing with no tears, just the feeling of hopelessness running through his veins. His body curled in on itself and his hands clawed at his bedsheets as his face dug into his pillow. He would then rock back and forth for the next half an hour, chanting such phrases as "I wish I was dead" or "I'm horrible" or maybe "I hate this". What it was that he hated? He couldn't tell you. He just knew he didn't want to be there anymore. Or anywhere really. He would contemplate carving into himself like a Halloween pumpkin again but would always chicken out just before, remembering how tiring it was to hide it the first times. He didn't want to add anymore stuff to his plate. Also, his physical appearance needed to match his social appearance. No one could know what he was like on his own. It was his own little secret. However, he needed to feel something. So he would curl up on his floor, his head against his carpet, and scratch all down his arms, as hard as he could. The sensation made him feel something, and feeling something felt euphoric. After maybe managing to shed a few tears and falling asleep, he would wake up feeling drained and somewhat annoyed for not being able to see the scratches on his arms. But of course, he would then think of himself as an attention-whore, and make himself forget anything had happened. His day then continues from then with him being the happy social butterfly he was known to be. And the cycle would repeat.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

"Hey, you better come hang with us tonight. I feel like I hardly see you anymore!" Chenle spoke to Jisung in what he would call his "quiet voice". Luckily, they were in the canteen and there was hardly anyone around.

"You know I would love to, but I've got a lot of homework to do! Mr Suh is being a real bitch lately, you know?" Jisung spoke back as he played with the rice on his plate. School food really did nothing for his constant nausea.

"But you've been working so much lately! You've had to do homework almost every day after school for the past month! And before that, your mum needed you to come home for dinner every night! I miss you, Sungie." Chenle's typically loud and screeching voice fell at the last bit, and Jisung looked up at the boy through his fringe. What did he mean by "I miss you" when he was right there in front of him? He hadn't gone anywhere.

"What do you mean "you miss me"? I'm right here, Lele." Jisung almost reached his hand out for Chenle's on the other side of the table, but ended up deciding against it and just leaning forwards slightly.

"But you're not though. I only see you in school now. And you hardly talk to me anymore. You used to tell me about stuff that's going on in your life. Now I have to talk to you first to get you to notice to me." Jisung's eyes began to get hot as he looked down at the table. He could feel his heartbeat in his stomach and his muscles begin to twitch. This wasn't good. "Do you even like me anymore? I thought you were my best friend, Jisung. What's happened to you?" Chenle's voice held an apprehensive and somewhat emotional tone. Jisung couldn't breathe. He needed to get out of there.

"I've gotta go." he rushed out his words in a hushed tone to stop his tears from falling, whilst pushing up from his seat and speeding out of the canteen as fast as possible without running. His eyes stayed trained on the ground and the tears welling up made him feel like he was about to throw up. He pushed open the door to a toilet block he knew no one would be in before rushing into a cubicle and locking the door behind him. He broke.

His sobs rang against the walls of the cubicle, no matter how much he tried to repress them. He slapped his hand over his mouth in attempt to quieten himself, and his tears fell like torrential rain, down his face, his hands and to the floor. His back slid down the wall of the cubicle until he was curled up on the floor in a puddle of his own trembling limbs and tears. He stayed in that state for 5 more minutes, neither his tears nor his emotions subsiding. Then, he heard the door of the toilet block crash open, promptly followed by a shout of "Jisung?". Chenle.

Jisung's eyes clenched shut so tightly that he was seeing stars, his nails now digging into his cheeks with how tightly he was covering his mouth. The tears didn't stop but at least they didn't make any noise. "Jisung. I know you're there. I won't break down the door. Just let me in." Chenle's voice turned softer, but now with an added hint of concern. Jisung dreaded to think that Chenle was concerned about him. He tried to stop the tears so he could face his friend, but they wouldn't stop, and he couldn't even move. He felt trapped where he was. His body had given up. "I'm not going anywhere, Jisung. I promise." Chenle's voice sounded close, like his head was against the other side of the door. Hearing him say that somehow made Jisung break even further. He didn't know that was possible. His sobs could suddenly be heard again even through his hands tight grasp on his face. "Jisung?" Chenle's voice sounded panicked now. He didn't want to do that to him. He needed to let him know he was there, even like this.

"Chenle-" he rasped out between sobs. His voice clearly sounded tired and weak, with a hint of desperation.

"Please, open the door, Sungie." Jisung sobbed harder, feeling incapable of moving whatsoever, but his best friend's distress gave him an ounce of motivation, but not without added guilt and shame. He hid his head in his arm against his knees and blindly reached for the lock on the door. He felt it unlock and immediately curled his other hand around himself, hoping to not be seen. Of course, that didn't happen. He heard a gasp from above and then felt the brush of air against his arm as his friend dropped down next to him. His sobs had still not stopped and he felt the smallest he had ever felt in his life right at this moment, curled up on the toilet floor next to his best friend. He didn't know what he had expected to happen, but it certainly wasn't the warm feeling of his friends arms wrapping around him, and the warmth of his breath against his neck. They didn't usually do that with each other. This only spurred on more tears, but slightly fuzzier ones. With some sensation back in his body, he twisted his hand upwards to hold onto his friend's arm, a small message to the other boy in an attempt to translate how grateful he is to him and that he's the best friend anyone could ever wish for. It may have not translated that whole message, but he hoped that it got pretty close.

"You're gonna be okay, Sungie." Chenle spoke into the crying boy's neck. The warmth tickled him and caused a hot shiver to run across his spine. Wait. Was he blushing? In shock about having just blushed at the actions of his best friend, he managed to lift his head up and open his eyes. His sight was blurred but he could see the wavy outline of his small friend through his unrelenting tears. He could feel hands upon his cheeks as they turned his face towards him to wipe at the tears under his eyes with the soft pads of his thumbs. He hoped so much that his face was red enough from crying to cover up the ever-growing blush that adorned his cheeks. He bit his lip and looked down in embarrassment, but Chenle didn't allow it. With his hands still resting on his cheeks, he lifted his head back up and pressed his forehead against the others. Out of surprise, Jisung's right hand shot up to hold onto the other's elbow, before sliding up to his hand against his cheek instead. He rested his hand on top of Chenle's and leant into it slightly, enjoying the feeling way too much than he should have felt okay with. His eyes fell shut again as he released a sigh that fluttered against Chenle's cheeks. They sat there, sharing each other's space, for what felt like years. Jisung wished the feeling would never stop. But as long as Chenle was with him, he felt like it never would.

After his tears had slowed and his breathing had evened out, Jisung felt Chenle's hand slide away from his face. He felt himself almost starting to cry yet again, before Chenle's fingers slid between his own and his thumb started rubbing his hand. Chenle's head pulled away from Jisung's and tilted against the wall they were both leaning against instead. "Is this okay?" Chenle asked in a genuinely hushed and soothing voice, one that Jisung didn't know he was capable of. He couldn't tell what Chenle was referring to until he squeezed Jisung's hand ever so slightly and Jisung blushed yet again.

"Yeah. It's fine." the corners of his mouth tilted ever so slightly before he realised and stopped himself. But Chenle didn't even try to stop himself. He had already noticed Jisung's mistake and smiled back widely himself. This only made Jisung feel shy and bashfully smile at the floor.

"Your smile is so pretty." Chenle stated, as if it was the most obvious fact in the galaxy. Jisung's eyes shot up to the other boy's face, who was now giggling at Jisung's reaction. Jisung quickly looked back down to the floor as he felt the flustered feeling spread all over his head.

As Chenle's giggles quietened down, Jisung tilted his head against the wall, before realising just how close their faces were. He could feel Chenle's breath against his lips. He felt an involuntary sound creeping up his throat, but swallowed hard to keep it down. "Are you feeling any better?" Chenle spoke in a deep voice, quiet and gentle on Jisung's currently sensitive ears.

"I do feel better right now." Jisung responded, his voice still weak and raspy.

"Right now?" Chenle's eyebrows curled in confusion. "Why right now?"

Jisung couldn't stop the words from coming out. "Because you're here." His eyes widened the second after he let it slip from his lips, having shocked himself with the obvious "line". He didn't know how to repair that. So he just stayed silent, red in the face and frozen. He only barely noticed Chenle's small smile before he registered that they were somehow even closer to one another. He felt their noses brush together and this time, he didn't think fast enough to stop the involuntary sound falling off his lips. A hushed whimper spilled into the shared breathing space between them. Chenle's head was back where it was before, pressed against Jisung's, and Jisung couldn't stop himself from glancing down at his best friend's lips. His best friend, he thought. This was not normal, and he knew it. But he didn't care. It felt so much better than anything he had ever done before. So much more natural. He wanted this. So bad.

His mouth was slightly open, trying to maximise his air intake as the air around him suddenly got so hot.

"Can I?" He felt Chenle's breath against his tongue, and his nose brushed against Jisung's once more.

"Please." It came out much more whiny than he had expected, but he wasn't even ashamed anymore as his best friend's lips melted into his own, their synchronisation making Jisung feel like he had been missing this his whole life. Chenle. Just Chenle. They seemed to fall into a trance as the taste and feeling of one another became addictive. Jisung only realised what was happening when he felt a hand sliding up his arm and towards his neck, the thumb rubbing against his jugular. Another hand had slid up his leg and was squeezing his thigh. Jisung couldn't help but grab onto the front of Chenle's shirt and pull his body even closer as he released yet another whimpering noise. That was a cue for Chenle to lick at Jisung's bottom lip, subtly asking for permission to take this further. It wasn't even a question for Jisung. He let his mouth fall open and Chenle was immediately there, lapping at the other's tongue with his own. The feeling made Chenle groan slightly, and Jisung's fist clenched tighter on his shirt in response, another whimper falling from his occupied lips. He felt breathless in the best way, so didn't even attempt to pull away to breathe. He didn't want to stop and could tell that neither did Chenle.

A few minutes later, Chenle had explored Jisung's entire mouth and wanted to find out some more about the boy, so his hands fell to his hips and pulled slightly, inviting Jisung to come closer. Jisung took this offer with delight, climbing onto the other's lap and leaning back onto the other's knees as Chenle slid his back further up the wall for a more comfortable position. They both quickly found each other's lips again and got right back into the flow of the situation. Chenle's hands had drifted from Jisung's tiny waist to his hips, just above his ass that was sat in a place that he didn't want to dwell too much on, though he found that to be extremely difficult with how fidgety Jisung could be. Jisung's hands found purchase against Chenle's chest again, occasionally grasping at his shirt when he felt to overwhelmed, so the entire time really.

After a few more minutes, Chenle leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at Jisung with so much adoration. Jisung felt hot under his stare and missed the feeling of his lips.

"You're so hot, baby." Chenle spoke in his low voice, like he was talking to himself. Jisung whined and leaned in, hoping to find Chenle's lips again, only to be stopped by the feeling of a hand around the base of his neck, not holding him, just applying light pressure, enough to stop him in his tracks and make him roll his hips. The feeling made his head fall back and he accidentally released a moan. He felt embarrassed, but also really, really hot. He heard a growl from below him but before he could look back down, he felt Chenle's hot mouth against his neck, right next to his jugular. His teeth bit into the skin and his mouth sucked around the mark, making Jisung involuntarily move his hips faster against Chenle's torso, looking for any friction whatsoever. Like Chenle was reading his mind, he ground his hips upwards into Jisung's own, right as he bit into the other side of his neck. "Fuck!" Jisung exclaimed, the breath being knocked out of his lungs at the sensation.

"Close already?" Chenle teased. Jisung suddenly realised how weird it was to hear that from his best friend. The best friend he would play games with as a child. the best friend he would talk about girls with in his early teen years. The best friend he would vent to when he was stressed, and who would do the same back. The best friend he had talked about getting a house with in the future, somewhere in a big city. The best friend that was now making him feel so fucking good on the floor of the school toilets when they're both supposed to be in lessons. The best friend he wants to scream the name of for the rest of his life, disturbing the neighbours and almost getting kicked out of several apartments. He's not even mad.

°•°•°•°•°•°•

Them walking out of that toilet block must have been the most comedic moment in either of their lives. To set the scene, they both styled matching red faces and disheveled hair, with Chenle rocking a creased shirt and Jisung showing off his abundance of blossoming purple and red bite marks, trailing all over his jaw and neck and deep down into his collar line and, to top it all off, their non-chalant "we did not just fuck I swear" facial expressions. Glancing up and down the corridor to avoid any other unsuspecting students, they made a bee-line for Chenle's locker where he knew he kept a hoodie to hide Jisung's Vincent Van Gogh "Starry Night"-lookin' neck. The only problem was that it was on the other side of the school.

Why Jisung decided to come instead of waiting, Chenle didn't know. He just thought he was too cute and didn't really want to leave him alone either. But luckily, it was still lesson time, so there was hardly anyone in the halls. So there they were, running through the halls Breakfast Club-style, dodging teachers and the odd student, until they reached Chenle's locker. He made quick work of opening it and grabbing the hoodie, buried underneath about 5 textbooks, 3 folders and a bag of snacks. "You're a mess." Jisung joked.

"Look, do you want the hoodie or not?" Chenle reiterated, his eyes wide as if he were scolding a child.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry!" Jisung giggled, taking the hoodie from Chenle's hands. Chenle jabbed quickly at Jisung's stomach, making him bend over and jump backwards dramatically. He pulled the hoodie over himself, surprised that it was kind of big on him.

"Not as big as you thought you were, huh?" Chenle quirked his eyebrow and Jisung blushed, once again, at his remark. He pulled up the hood and tugged the strings tight around his head, making Chenle coo at him. "You baby." And Jisung swore he could somehow hear the star emojis and "uwu" emoticon in his voice. Chenle walked closer to him, holding his sweater paws and then looking around to make sure no one was there. He then leaned in to quickly steal another kiss, lingering too long for it to be classed as a peck. "What lesson have you got now?" Chenle asked, still holding Jisung's sweater paws, now leaning against the lockers.

"I think Chemistry?" Jisung puffed out his cheeks in thought. Chenle was enamored.

"You okay to go? I can stay with you if you want me to." Chenle reasoned. Jisung's eyes dropped to the ground as he smiled.

"I'm definitely feeling better right now. I might even learn something in Chem." Jisung chuckled.

"Wouldn't that be a miracle." Chenle smiled. The other then pushed his shoulder lightly, making him giggle.

"I'm gonna miss you." Jisung mumbled towards his feet. Chenle leaned in further, smiling.

"That's cheesy and disgusting but you're cute so I'm gonna miss you too." He punctuated his statement with a kiss on the other's lips. Followed by another one. Then another. And another. They were both really lost in each other. And they didn't want to be anything else.

#nct #nctdream #angst #fluff #smut #chenle #zhongchenle #jisung #parkjisung #jisungnct #nct fic #i'm sad #gay #kpop

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babbushka · 4 years

Note

Could I please request “I want latkes.” “It’s 8 in the morning...” with handsome man Flip? Thank you Zannah!

(1.5k, nsfw; content warnings for pregnancy cravings & sex while pregnant (oral sex yeehaw))

He always wakes up before you, your Flip does. He’s used to it, a regimented routine from years of work and the marines. He always wakes up first and annoys you into waking up too so he can spend as much time with you as possible, too early in the morning, before he has to go to work. He’s not used to waking up because of you, not used to your soft palms gently nudging his shoulder, not used to your normally sunshiney smile drawn up in a frown.

“Honey?” You ask, really more like whine in a whisper as you nudge him again, “Flip, are you awake?”

If he wasn’t then, he sure as shit is now, stretching his long limbs in your embrace where he’s got you completely wrapped up in his arms, stretching and popping his joints from a long night of deep slumber.

It’s a weekend, so he’s slept in later than normal, he can tell because the sun is already up. But you’re wide awake, and you’re looking at him with expectant eyes, and he takes in a deep breath.

“Hmm? Ketsl, you okay?” He leans in to kiss you with sleep-sour breath, because he can’t even think about being awake until he’s kissed you, and he’s lucky that you let him, that you kiss him back, that that frown of yours turns upside down as he peppers your face with small smooches, his goatee tickling your neck.

“Yeah – I just, I want latkes.” You mumble, and Flip chuckles against your skin, moving to roll over your body, careful not to let you rest completely on your back.

He’s so careful, careful about everything with you these days. A pillow is nicely cushioned against your side to help keep you propped up, your bump growing larger and larger every day it feels like. Maybe that’s not true, but Flip thinks that it is, and he worries for your poor back, your hips. So only once he’s sure that you’re comfortable, he teases you.

“Baby it’s eight in the morning.” He presses the words into your cheek, kisses at your jawline until you’re laughing. The sound of your laugh is sweeter than any birdsong, Flip thinks, even as the birds outside your window try and prove him wrong.

“Phil.” You place your sleep-sweaty hands on either side of his face and hold him steady, kissing him once deeply on the lips before pulling away and complaining as if he wasn’t getting it, “I want them.”

“Oh well why didn’t you say so?” He quirks up just the hint of a grin to be teasing and sarcastic in that way only he can, and you roll your eyes with a big smile.

“Could you please go down the street to the diner? They should be serving breakfast by now right? They’ll make you latkes for me, they like us.” You say, as if he needs any convincing at all.

You’d been having stronger and stronger cravings lately, something Flip’s almost proud of. He’s proud because they’re all foods that Flip likes, and in some small strange way, he’s happy that his baby likes the same things he does. But even if you craved weird shit like pickles covered in peanut butter, he’d make it happen for you, he’d make anything happen for you.

However, the hardest part, and the part that does require some convincing, Flip thinks with a sigh, is that he hates leaving you, even for a moment, even for an instant. The snow outside does not make it any easier for him to get out of bed.

“I’ll go to the diner, but let me have a taste of you first.” Flip kisses you, his hand smoothing over your stomach and dipping lower lower lower until his palm is rubbing at your inner thighs, teasing your pussy as he sighs into your mouth, “Give me the strength to go brave the blizzard ketsl.”

He’s the most dramatic man in the entire world, you’re convinced. It’s not even snowing that hard, there’s barely a breeze, hardly a blizzard. Still, you crack up into a fit of giggles as you nod, as you shift and shuffle around and spread your legs for him, and he’s smackin’ a kiss to your lips once more before leaving to go level with your cunt.

“Oh Flip – yes honey, yes.” Your voice sounds inside his head and a million miles away at the same time, praise spurring him on, as he scratches up your thighs with his goatee, the facial hair feeling perfectly tingling and rough on your warm skin.

There’s few things Flip loves more in this world than eating pussy. He’s damn good at it too, if the way he gets you coming down his throat over and over again is any indication. He’s good at it now, as he wraps his arms around your thighs, slings your calves over his shoulders and kisses at your pussy, bites and sucks lightly at your inner thighs.

“Please? Please just – oh!” You sigh happily when he rubs his nose in the crease of your thigh as he pushes his fingers into your pussy, fingers that you swallow up easily, hungrily, craving more than just latkes.

He spreads your folds with his thumbs and licks a hot stripe up up up to your clit, stiff and swollen just from this, just from his being here. His mouth waters as he kisses it, as he grazes his teeth ever so carefully over it, a move that makes your thighs jolt every time – and they jolt now. He smiles against your pussy as he sucks your slick down, kneads at your thighs, your hips.

“Flip! Right there, a little more,” You’re bossy, but he loves that you’re bossy, he loves everything about you.

Sex had felt weird for a while, with the baby. He was worried about hurting the poor thing, had called the doc maybe a dozen times to make sure that it’d be safe. But eating his wife out was never a danger, Flip figured, and with the way you always were so relaxed after a nice round of orgasms, how could he stay away from your sweet cunt for long?

“You’re so sweet.” He speaks practically into you, the vibrations of his baritone on your clit making you sigh out happily. Flip reaches up with one of his hands and gropes at your breast -- the left one’s his favorite, not that it matters – rolls the nipple a little to encourage your pussy to get wet wet wet for him.

And it does, and Flip can’t help but moan just from the way your body responds so beautifully when he touches you the way he knows you like. It’s a miracle, that he gets to have this with you, that he gets to eat you out for breakfast lunch and dinner if you’d let him. He sucks hard on your clit then, times it so that he sucks and pinches at your stiff nipple until you’re pushing and grinding your hips down onto his face, until your moans go breathy and high pitched, until you’re calling out his name, a litany of Flip please please more harder faster more Flip Flip Flip!

And when you do come, your cunt’s even sweeter, if that’s possible. Flip drinks it down, every last drop of it, lets it soak into his goatee as he nuzzles his face in closer, wants to catch all your come on his tongue.

You’re tugging gently at his hair, wanting him back up where you can see him, your body rippling with little tremors of pleasure as you give him a big blissed out grin, eyes glassy and soft.

“That was really good honey, thank you.” You sigh, twirling a lock of his hair around your finger, trying not to laugh at how silly his hair can look sometimes before you blow-dry it into style.

“Anything for my girl.” Flip wipes his face off with a tissue from the nightstand and kisses your cheek.

“So can you please go to the diner and get latkes now?” You bat your lashes at him and he groans, making you both laugh as you playfully push him out of bed, while he playfully goes limp and pretends to be dead weight on top of you.

He’ll get up in a minute to go get you latkes, you both know it. He’ll go down to the diner and ask the cook to make latkes and then speed home so they don’t grow cold on the way, all so that you don’t have to stand and flip them in hot oil this early.

It’ll be worth it to keep you off your feet at least for a little while longer, before you inevitably decide it’s time to start working on Hanukkah dinner -- but nothing keeps you off of your feet better than your husband wrapping you up in his arms in bed, once again.

#flip zimmerman #flip zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman/reader #flip zimmerman x you #flip zimmerman imagine #flip zimmerman smut #flip zimmerman fluff #blackkklansman #adam driver character #Anonymous #cowboy answers

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b99fandomevents · 5 years

Photo

Thank you again to the awesome folks who joined our first ever Fic Exchange!!! We hope you enjoyed writing your fics as much as we loved reading them.

Under the cut is a masterlist of all the submitted works, compiled and arranged in alphabetical order by the amazing @amez-santiago. ♡ (If you don’t see your fic here or notice any errors, please let us know!)

If you’re interested in joining the Fall 2019 Fic Exchange, definitely keep an eye out for our next announcement post within the next couple of weeks.

a summer rain is passing over, and it feels like a dream | AO3

↝ by @exploding-snapple for @storyinmyeyes

Amy takes Jake to go see a play, but it’s really the walk home afterward that he enjoys the most. (set a few weeks after 3x02)

Cause you’re what I always wanted | AO3

↝ by @sandylovesfandoms for @a-wren-d

Rosa shows Gina Babylon, and sparks fly

Coming Out | AO3

↝ by @the-poodles-of-pulitzer for @yaboring-yabasic

Rosa’s POV for coming out.

Dancing around each other | AO3

↝ by @disruptedvice for @amydancepants-peralta

“Ah! Amy! Help!” Jake shrieked the moment she answered her phone, not really concerned about volume control since he was kinda trying to not die at the moment. It had gotten through four rings before she finally picked up, and this would’ve been it for Jake if it’d gone straight to voicemail. Amy frowned, looking around as if he could see her, but soon brushed it off as her being paranoid. “Jake? What’s wrong?” “I’ve got the goose!” He shouted, jumping to dodge another swipe that could only be described as intelligent and intent. “The goose is here! The goose is here!”

Soulmate AU where one person finds a goose who leads them to the other person. The difficulty comes in not being mauled by a goose

doggone summer | AO3

↝ by @timeforginasopinion for @sandylovesfandoms

Amy should have known it was going to be an awful summer from the moment Jake Peralta appeared on her front doorstep carrying a dog. “Morning, Ames,” he chirps, irritatingly cheerful, as if he’s passing her in the hallway at school rather than standing in front of her house during the sadly fleeting time of year she’s supposed to be free of this bullshit. “Cheddar, say hi to Amy.” The corgi swaddled in his arms, predictably, doesn’t respond. Jake fixes it with an offended frown. “Well, that was rude.” Amy sneezes a lot and thinks longingly of her bowl of oatmeal squares, now growing soggy on the kitchen counter. Her life was so much simpler ten minutes ago.

everything's good, everything's just as it should be | AO3

↝ by @fezzle for @the-poodles-of-pulitzer

“Jake,” she starts, slow and deliberate. “Do you know who I am?” He stares at her a moment before shaking his head, and her stomach swoops. Oh my god. or Jake gets an appendectomy, and there happens to be an amusing side effect as he wakes up from his anesthesia.

foolishly, completely falling | AO3 [E]

↝ by @fezzle for @kamekamelea

“Are you… asking to hook up with me?” Amy asks slowly, every syllable enunciated carefully. “Whaaaat? No! Nope. No, I definitely was not! What I meant to say was -’’ “Becausetheanswerisyes.”Jake freezes, eyes bugging. “Wh-What?” “I-I said yes.” or Jake and Amy are friends with benefits. What could go wrong?

Heads and Hot Dogs and the Best Day Ever | AO3

↝ by @vernonfielding for @nerd-husbands

Nikolaj spends a day at the precinct not helping Rosa solve a case. He's never been happier.

hold me in this wild, wild world | AO3

↝ by @dmigod for @santiagoswagger

He wants to say he doesn’t know how he got into this situation, but he knows exactly how it happened (or, at least mostly): with a bet. It’s not news to anyone that he and his professional partner are competitive—Santiago is a type A tightwad who feels like she has to prove herself to everyone (except him), and Jake, well, Jake likes to spite her. And to win. He really, really loves winning.

hold me in this wild, wild world | AO3

↝ by @johnny-and-dora for @meepmorpperaltiago

“It takes every ounce of willpower he has left not to kiss her like it’s their last night on earth. Despite the odds, he refuses to kiss her like he’s saying goodbye.” or, a forbidden love/royalty/fairytale au in which jake comes up with an alternative solution to amy being forced into an arranged marriage with the most boring man in the seven kingdoms.

i found a mirror for my soul (i don’t need no other) | AO3

↝ by @b99peraltiago for @exploding-snapple

When she realizes her sleeve has rolled up a little, showing the skin of her wrist and tries to cover it again, it’s already too late. Jake’s seen it. He’s caught sight of the glowing “S” printed there. “S” as in, Soulmate. Amy finally found hers – and, obviously, it’s not him. (Post-4x22 soulmates AU, in which Jake and Amy are not soulmates and she finds hers while Jake is in jail.)

i’ll put it all on the line | AO3

↝ by @amydancepants-peralta for @callginalinetti

"We have to find her, Jake!” He looks up from an evidence marker, furrowing his brow. “I’m sorry … her?” “Your mystery woman! The beautiful woman you were stuck on the subway with. She’s obviously your soulmate.”

I’m going home, to the place where I belong (where your love has always been enough) | AO3

↝ by @storyinmyeyes for @outofinspo

It’s moving in day for Jake and Amy and she’s a little stressed out over all the boxes that need unpacking, but in true Jake fashion, he provides a distraction.

I’ve got a really bad feeling I’m gonna love you so good | AO3

↝ by @amesantiagos for @romanovember

A typical Friday night at Shaw’s bar with the Nine-Nine …or not quite. “Really, I just wanted to check if you’re okay.” “Why wouldn’t I be?” She frowns at him, her eyes dark in the dimly lit booth, “and why do you even care?” “Well, first off, that’s rude,” he raises he eyebrows at her, “and secondly, because you’re my partner, and I know I normally come across as a badass, emotionless action-hero like type– ” “No, you don’t.”

if they’re meant to be together, they won’t stay too long apart | AO3

↝ by @startofamoment for @e11evenseggos

They’d first met in the fall of their freshman year. Amy can still remember it with perfect clarity: how Jake rushed into the lecture hall, hair unruly and plaid shirt rumpled. He looked like he’d just woken up, or maybe never slept. Perhaps he’d pulled an all nighter in prep for their big exam. (She had gotten the recommended eight hours of sleep, naturally, and had gotten up with more than enough time to have a balanced breakfast and to go over her review sheets.)

It is like Oatmeal……. | AO3

↝ by @dancezwithwolvez for @cheddar-the-dog

Another chance.

it’s your love i’m lost in | AO3

↝ by @stolethekey for @ofbuttsandbombs

She smiles. “That’s been the theme of the entire Holt-Cozner relationship. Finding love, despite everything telling them that they cannot. Being confronted with danger, with fear, with risk, but making the incredibly brave choice to love anyway.” or, an mcu post-snap au in which holt and kevin renew their vows

julian santiago and the case of the sister’s mystery boyfriend | AO3

↝ by @amyscascadingtabs for @397bartonstreet

Eventually, he makes the educated guess that there must be someone else in her life. She must have wanted for this to break-up to happen, he figures, and a new mystery lover could very well be the reason. Julian simply has to figure out who it is.

long live all the magic we made | AO3

↝ by @benwvatt for @startofamoment

He deserves to know about cheering charms, or spells that change mice into teapots, or a potion that could double his age. He belongs in her world, she thinks. If only he were. Rule number one of being a Santiago: Neighbors like the Peraltas don’t have any business knowing about magic. Amy ignores it and finds everything she was dreaming of.

of babies and binders

↝ by @a-wren-d for @acanoftrash

domestic peraltiago

Of Debates and Chickenshit Boys | AO3

↝ by @professionalpenthief for @imalloutofhoots

Amy’s happily dull life turns upside down when a mystery admirer’s love for her goes viral in her high school. As she navigates the new uncharted territories of being in the public eye, she finds love does defy all expectations.

Regarding The Incident In Which Raymond Ran Away To Mexico | AO3

↝ by @nerd-husbands for @amesantiagos

“Can you clarify,” Kevin said into his cellphone, using his other arm to hail a cab, “how much wedding cake did Cheddar eat?" The Honeymoon episode, from Kevin’s perspective.

Run, Hide, Fight (Show Me Going) | AO3

↝ by @cheddar-the-dog for @vernonfielding

around two days after the active shooter situation in Brooklyn Heights Hotel Rosa wakes up from a nightmare that she soon realizes was not a nightmare at all

sailing home once and for all | AO3

↝ by @kamekamelea for @disruptedvice

In the universe where Jake is a sailor from New York, he finds himself coming back home to this one special girl - detective Amy Santiago.

Sick Leave | AO3

↝ by @winnietherpooh for @amyscascadingtabs

Amy decides that Jake needs a vacation after he returns prison, and he finally begins to open up about his recovery as they read Harry Potter together.

Something more than a catalog of non-definitive acts | AO3

↝ by @chipmunksallshipklefan for @professionalpenthief

Jake and Amy go undercover as a couple.

The Beer Burglar | AO3

↝ by @outofinspo for @cheeto-anaconda

Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place crossover where Jake arrests Eleanor

The Date Night

↝ by @meepmorpperaltiago for @amazingsantiago

Based on the prompts: jealous Amy and Jake being Amy’s hype man

The Desert Sucks, But Being a Damsel in Distress Isn’t Too Bad | AO3

↝ by @romanovember for @fezzle

I’m never drinking again. Jake Peralta thinks as he comes to consciousness, his mouth full of cotton swabs and sandpaper and his head pounding like a sledgehammer on concrete. Or maybe 50 million sledgehammers, a freight train and another 24 elephants. Ugh Jake rolls over, and pulls his crinkly and hot duvet closer, relaxing his aching and hungover body into the cool embrace of… sand? And on his head? An honest to god cowboy hat. Yeehaw?

The in-between | AO3

↝ by @disruptedvice for @amydancepants-peralta

Amy’s thoughts between ‘go back to being colleagues’ to ‘screw light and breezy’

the interrogation room | AO3

↝ by @yaboring-yabasic for @timeforginasopinion

one-shot based loosely on the prompts badly trying to keep a secret, locked in, and kid fic with some peraltiago, dianetti, and the whole squad.

the smell of coffee runs through my veins | AO3

↝ by @elsaclack for @winnietherpooh

five times jake smells like fresh coffee grounds (and one time he doesn’t)

the stars lean in a little closer all because of you

↝ by @peraltasames for @b99peraltiago

baby peraltiago + beach house 2.0

there was a time when a moment like this wouldn’t ever cross my mind | AO3 [E]

↝ by @kamekamelea for @disruptedvice

She looks deeply into his eyes, dark from the desire overwhelming him and whispers straight into his lips in an authoritative tone. “No, Jake. Fuck me with my uniform on.”

THIS BOY WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME | AO3

↝ by @ofbuttsandbombs for @stolethekey

Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago, self- proclaimed 'best detectives of the Nine-Nine’ (and 'of the NYPD’, 'no, USA!’, 'no,the entire freaking world!!’, when they get a little drunk) are handed a routine murder investigation which goes off- track. Will this cause their already fragile relationship to change? The journey from 'Peralta and Santiago’ to 'Jake and Amy.’

time is ticking away (and there are too many things I wanna say) | AO3

↝ by @what-about-gay for @johnnydora

Amy is stressed because she can’t find her soulmate, while Jake couldn’t care less about his soulmate. Time is ticking and they have to find their soulmates, because when the clock is at zero and you haven’t found your soulmate yet, you and your soulmate both die.

Variations on sharing a bed 1/2/3 | AO3 [T to M]

↝ by @disruptedvice for @amydancepants-peralta

Peraltiago drabbles + sharing a bed trope

We Are The Greatest Love Story (The World Had Ever Seen) | AO3

↝ by @cheddar-the-dog for @dancezwithwolvez

the night they meet his life changes forever and he’d never go back to before or how the story of Kevin and Raymond found its start

we could be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable | AO3

↝ by @stolethekey for @johnny-and-dora

Kylie hums, reaching over to unzip the back of Amy’s dress. “Well, whatever you’re not anxious about is going to lose his mind when he sees you in this. Seriously.” “He has a girlfriend,” Amy snaps, shimmying out of the dress and snatching her leggings off the wall. “And this isn’t for him.” - in which Amy throws a New Year's Eve party that subsequently implodes.

we were good at faking forever | AO3

↝ by @johnnydora for @dmigod

David Santiago has super powers. No matter how much effort Amy gives to everything she does, he always manages to beat her tenfold, including obtaining the girlfriend of his parents’ dream. With ten days until her brother Miguel’s wedding and no date, Amy has no choice but to convince the next person she sees to fall madly in love with her.

we were wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart | AO3

↝ by @santiagoswagger for @benwvatt

Desperate to find a last minute gift for her mom, Amy stumbles into the only open flower shop in her neighborhood. Unfortunately, the florist is very annoying.

we won’t run (we can fight) | AO3

↝ by @amydancepants-peralta for @chipmunksallshipklefan

“Be careful who you give your midnights to, my darling. Midnights are for talking - for old friends and new; for truth and never for lies. When you’ve only got the stars to illuminate, everything else falls away. Midnights are for confessions.” Her hand falls to Amy’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “They’re for falling in love.” Well that’s just ridiculous. She and Jake were definitely not falling in love. Oh. Medieval AU where the evil King Vulture is ruining Brooklyne. Amy and Jake work together to take him DOWN.

whelp, this might be your view for the next seven years | AO3

↝ by @callginalinetti for @galaxygaydreams

sometimes you get to meet your soulmate twice (basically a new version of how jake and amy meet and fall in love)

When You’re Home

↝ by @397bartonstreet for @peraltasames

jake and amy’s first night back together after the ambulance scene in coral palms pt 3 + fluffy reunion goodness.

where’d you go, david santiago | AO3

↝ by @acanoftrash for @brillliant

when amy’s brother goes missing, she hires private detective jake peralta to find him.

You Already Know | AO3

↝ by @e11evenseggos for @what-about-gay

a one-shot of Gina and Rosa’s wedding ceremony.

you showed me something i can’t live without | AO3

↝ by @amazingsantiago for @dailyb99

Alternative ending to Casecation. Jake is left reeling after Amy’s “start over” comment. Title from ‘I Believe’ by the Jonas Brothers.

#b99 summer 2019 fic exchange #b99fandomevents #summer 2019 fics #b99 fic

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panda-noosh · 5 years

Text

Less than Lovers, More than Friends {Matt Holt x Reader}

Words: 8k

Summary: Matt's girlfriend is toxic, and he doesn't realise it.

Genre: angst

Warning: domestic abuse – manipulation

Notes: masterlist – i’m back folks yeehaw

---

Your shoulders jerked as another crash sounded from the room opposite you, followed abruptly by Matt and Caitlin's yelling.

It was nothing new. You heard them fighting all the time, heard Caitlin losing her temper to the point where she picked up the closest object to her and volleyed it across the room at Matt. But just because you heard it often, didn't mean you enjoyed it, didn't make it any easier to sleep through.

You clenched your eyes shut tight and rolled over, dragging the pillow over your head in any attempt to block out the god awful arguing; it would go on for hours. Caitlin would never let the subject drop, not until Matt was all but claiming she had been right the entire time. Sometimes Matt let the argument go on and on, refusing to belittle his own intelligence for someone as stubborn as Caitlin – but eventually she would lose her temper, and things got broken and Matt got hurt.

Sometimes you wondered why he was still with her.

In fact, you always wondered why he was still with her, when he could have any person in the world. He was smart, kind, good looking – he was a gift. Someone you knew you weren't worthy to call your own, but someone you wished you could.

And yet there he was, in the hallway across from you with his wild girlfriend throwing foreign objects at him. He could be doing something with his life, have a love that he deserved, but he stayed with her.

The door to your room slowly creaked open, and you knew immediately who it was. Glancing over your shoulder, your suspicions were confirmed when Allura slipped into the darkness and stood hesitantly in your doorway, awkwardly ringing her hands in front of her.

You rolled over fully, having to speak up to be heard over the psychotic screams of Caitlin across the hall. “Why are you up so late?”

“Why do you think?” Allura replied. Now that she had confirmation you were indeed awake, she strolled confidently across your room and flopped down onto the bed next to you, tugging the covers up to her chin. “They've been arguing for hours. I think she hurt Matt again.”

“Should we do something?”

“Yes.” Allura paused. “But you know what Matt's gonna do if we try to intervene again.”

You pursed your lips, remembering the last time any of you had tried to step in front of Caitlin and put a stop to the chaotic fighting. She had gotten out of control again, and Shiro had had enough. He marched into the room, got ready to yell, but then Caitlin was whirling on him and throwing an ash tray in his direction. Matt had been forced to grab her, causing himself even more harm.

He hadn't spoken to Shiro for days after that.

You sighed and buried your head in the pillows once again. “What do you think they're arguing about this time?”

“I wouldn't call it arguing as much as it's Caitlin screaming her head off,” replied Allura. “But I think it's about Matt's mission tomorrow.”

You perked up. “The one him and I are going on?”

“Mm.” Allura picked at her nails, her arms stretched high above her face. “Miss Caitlin doesn't like it when you and Matt have alone time together.”

You paused, head snapping round to evaluate the expression on Allura's face, because surely she was kidding. Despite there being absolutely no hint of humour in her voice, you couldn't bring yourself to believe that she would even suggest such a bizarre thing.

You prided yourself on how well you hid your feelings for Matt Holt. There was no way someone like Caitlin was able to see through the wall you had built for the past five years of knowing the man.

“What are you talking about?” you asked when Allura showed no sign of elaborating on her bizarre claims.

She looked over at you and shrugged, as if her words were no big deal. “I don't exactly blame her. You've known Matt longer than she has, and she doesn't like that you two have that bond. Plus, Matt is always ten times happier when he's around you – anyone on the ship is able to see that.”

Your mouth grew dry, head running at a million miles per hour. Was Caitlin currently hurling insults, hurling objects at Matt because of what she thought of you?

You clenched your fists tight in the covers. Allura jerked, the covers bunching up around her chin with the grip you currently had in them.

“Y/N?” Allura inquired, slowly leaning over to get a better look at your expression in the darkness. You quickly unclenched your jaw, relaxed your fists, started nonchalantly smoothing a crease out in the blankets.

“He promised us he can deal with her,” you said. “I'll check up on him once she's calmed down.”

Allura nodded, though she kept a suspicious eye on you even as she relaxed back into the pillows. Neither of you spoke after that – it was too difficult trying to have a civil, simple conversation when you could hear Caitlin's animalistic shrieking thumping through the walls in the next room. It played as background music to the sound of your own worried thoughts, images of Matt trying desperately to calm Caitlin down.

Allura's breathing slowly eased until it was nothing more than a gentle trickle, indicating she had finally fallen asleep. You wanted to follow her lead, needed to follow her lead considering you had an important mission to go on the next morning – but you couldn't. You couldn't even close your eyes without thinking of Matt, without thinking of the guilt that was currently erupting in your system because you weren't doing anything.

You pressed the balls of your palm into your eye, tried to fight off the urge to scream before rolling over and burying your head in the pillows, the only thing you could think to do to waste time before morning came.

+++ How he always managed to pretend that nothing had happened was completely beyond you.

How she could pretend that nothing had happened was completely beyond you.

Caitlin and Matt walked into the kitchen side-by-side, as per usual, the next morning. You had been sat downstairs since before the sun had even risen, your lack of sleep dragging you from the warmth of the comforters so you could start breakfast for everyone else. Shiro and Keith – forever the early birds – had already indulged in a plate of scrambled eggs each, both very confused as to why you were up so early, but neither asking for answers.

Now it was Matt and Caitlin's turn, and to say you were dreading their appearance was an understatement.

As usual, Matt gave you that award winning grin before he settled himself down at the counter. Caitlin gently stroked her fingertips over his shoulder blades as she walked past him towards the fridge, a way of silently telling you that he was hers. She didn't even look in your direction, but the message was clear from the smug smile on her face as she let her fingers scrape along his flesh, forcing him to look up and give her a small, acknowledged nod.

You clenched your fists, biting your lower lip before you looked over at Matt and smiled. “Sleep well?”

“Do we have any milk left from our last grocery run?”

Your teeth clamped impossibly harder upon your bottom lip, Caitlin's shrill voice making your toes curl.

Nonetheless, you turned and glanced at her. “We should do. Unless Hunk was doing his usual late night-”

“Oh, here's some!” she yipped, popping up from the fridge with a full carton of milk in her hand – she had only interrupted your greeting with Matt to stop any type of conversation from forming.

You turned back and shook your head slowly. Matt caught the movement – he often did – and pursed his lips, before reaching over and grabbing the bowl of scrambled eggs that you had left out on the counter. “These fresh?”

“Freshly made this morning,” you replied. “You should probably dive in, though. Even Keith had some.”

“Keith?” Matt widened his eyes in exaggerated shock. “Wow. Whoever made these must have some skills in the kitchen.”

You shrugged. “I can't take all the credit. I didn't even know how to crack an egg before Hunk-”

“Matt, scooch over.”

Once again, Caitlin made her appearance. Matt barely had time to register what she had asked of him before she was crashing her shoulder against his and slipping onto the stool next to him. She slapped her bowl of cereal down onto the counter, took one glance at the eggs and scowled.

“They look like they've been sat out for hours.”

You raised a brow. “I only made them this morning.”

“Mm,” she hummed dismissively before turning to Matt. “I think you should just have cereal. Don't wanna risk getting sick before a mission, do you?”

Matt pursed his lips. Your heart thundered, anger pouring into your veins at a million miles per hour. You were going to lose it. You were really going to lose it, because her attitude this morning and the memories of the vile things she had been screaming the previous night were flashing through your mind, driving you forward, making you-

“No. I feel like having scrambled eggs this morning.”

Your eyes snapped up, widening just a fraction. “Matt, you don't have to-” But he was already reaching for the bowl, even as his girlfriends eyes shot daggers into the side of his head, even as Caitlin all but trembled with fury at being disobeyed by the one person she believed she had wrapped around her finger.

You kept your eyes on her, prepared for anything. It was a protective streak, a dull thump in the back of your head. Your fingers uncurled from the fist you had them bunched up in, ready to reach over the table and grab her ponytail if she even so much as tried to lay a hostile finger on Matt.

But even though she was an evil bitch, she had common sense. She flicked her eyes over to you, took a deep breath and quickly dove back into her cereal, now turning her head away from Matt as a sign of defiance.

Matt scooped some scrambled eggs onto his plate and started eating, eyes shining with the first bite. “Ooh. Hunk taught you well!”

You kept an eye on Caitlin, even as you accepted the compliment, even as you and Matt were finally able to get into a proper, intelligent conversation that didn't involve her stupid, petty questions cutting in every few seconds.

It was nice, despite the air of tension that was surrounding you all. Allura's words from the previous night echoed in your head; Caitlin wasn't bristling because of Matt. She was bristling because of you, because of your presence, because Matt truly could speak to you with little to no hesitation.

A part of you thought it might be better if you just got up and left. Caitlin would calm down, and Matt would be able to have a peaceful breakfast – but you were only guessing with that one. You could get up and leave and open the flood gates for him by leaving him alone with her. She could turn on him, her temper flaring, and then what would happen? God only knew, but judging by the argument they had been having last night, the aftermath could be nothing good.

And so you stayed, talking to Matt both because you wanted to hear his voice, and because you wanted to keep him safe.

+++

You buckled your seat belt and shot Allura one final farewell glance before the ship was taking off and you and Matt were alone.

You couldn't remember the last time you had been alone with him. The two of you were friends – best friends – but there was a barrier that had been placed between you in the past six months that he had been with Caitlin.

Neither of you spoke about it, though the tension within the silence was clue enough that he could feel it just as heavily as you could. He was sat in the drivers seat, hands gripping the wheel, glancing up at you through the rear view mirror every few seconds. You could only spare him an awkward smile before you turned back to the GPS you had been put in charge of.

Things were just different. Not in a bad way. Just being able to see him every day and still call him your friend was good enough for you, but things were different in the sense that Matt was no longer the young fifteen year old boy you had met all them years ago. He was someone different now – smarter in the sense of his intelligence and his experience, but stupid in the sense that he had let himself get trapped in such an awful situation, and was currently refusing any of the help he was being offered.

The ship juddered. Matt changed gear quickly, glanced at you to make sure you were okay, and it was then that you decided to speak up.

“You didn't have to do that at breakfast, you know.”

Matt looked away. “I didn't do anything at breakfast.”

“You did. You can't deny it.”

“I ate breakfast.”

“You went against Caitlin's orders.”

Matt's knuckles whitened on the steering wheel. Part of your brain was screaming at you to back off, to let the subject drop before he got angry at you and this entire mission became one big, awkward mess.

But you didn't back off.

“You say that like she owns me,” Matt grunted finally. “I'm a twenty year old man. I can do what I want without her permission.”

“That's not what the rest of us have been seeing these past few months.”

“Good thing the rest of you aren't in my relationship and don't know jack shit about what goes on behind closed doors.”

You scoffed. “I think those of us that hear her throwing stuff at you every night are pretty familiar with what goes on behind closed doors.”

He snapped, slapping his palm against the steering wheel. The ship stirred, but Matt quickly got it back under control, ignoring your startled cry. “Why are you even talking to me about her? You two don't even speak to each other!”

“And by the looks of things, you two don't speak to each other either!” you exclaimed. “She just yells at you and tells you what to do, and you sit back and pretend like it's okay!”

“I can do what I want. Just because I try to listen to my girlfriend sometimes-”

“Oh, Matt, give me a break,” you scoffed, slumping down in your seat, running your hands through your hair. “You're smarter than this. You're so much smarter than this – you know full well you aren't just listening to your girlfriend.”

Matt bristled. “You have no idea what you're talking about.”

You clenched your jaw. Why was he being like this? Why was he being so clueless? There was no part of you that believed he truly did not understand, that he truly just thought he was being a caring boyfriend by doing everything his girlfriend told him to do. He was smarter than that.

He just didn't want to admit it.

You turned back to the GPS, pressing your elbows into the table and leaning your head in your palms. He wasn't going to listen to you – that much was obvious.

+++

The thing about Matt was that his job was his life.

He did everything for the sake of the world. He stayed up until early hours of the morning trying to figure out a single line of coding that would jump start whatever piece of machinery he was having trouble with. He would risk his own life for the sake of the people he loved, and he let nothing get in the way of getting his job done.

The argument the two of you had gotten into was forgotten almost as soon as his boots touched the ground. He had been silent for the remaining hour of the journey, but as soon as the two of you had landed and the mission had officially started, it was almost as if nothing had happened.

“Stay close to me,” he demanded, grabbing your arm and pulling you into his side. “First step – find the entrance to the factory, find the systems room and get the information.”

“Easier said than done,” you muttered, but you followed his every step nonetheless. You were the back-up in this situation; cover for Matt if things got a little too difficult. Whilst he was a whizz with computers and programming, you had been trained in the art of combat for as long as you could remember. You would be parading around the door, making sure nobody was going to attack Matt as he gathered the information you two had been sent out to retrieve.

The factory in question was not difficult to find by any stretch of the imagination. Guards littered the doorways, the building towering over everything else. You could see the tip of the roof as you and Matt approached through the trees, could smell the smoke billowing from the many chimneys lining the tiled roof.

You could also smell the blood.

You shot Matt a startled glance; you knew what this place did, the amount of bodies that had been discovered and hidden by the Galra. You knew it was terrible, but the proof of it in the air was startling. Matt clenched his jaw, looked back at you, but neither of you said anything. You both knew what to expect – there was no point in making a big deal over it.

You stepped out of the tree line and started towards the entrance. The suits you were both wearing would be enough to disguise you, help you blend in, but as soon as you started messing with the systems, suspicions would be aroused and the two of you would have to pick up the pace.

“Agent Spears and Agent Givaldi,” Matt said as soon as you were both in front of the guards. They barely even glanced at the badges you were both holding up before the door was being shouldered open and you were granted much-needed access.

You hesitantly stuffed your badge back into your coat pocket, leaned towards Matt and whispered, “That was too easy. Something's not right.”

“Keep an eye out,” he whispered back.

The hallways grew less and less crowded the deeper into the factory you and Matt went. You kept your head low as Matt nodded and interacted with the passing mechanics, scientists, evil geniuses that you came across; he was good at this kind of thing, pretending everything was okay when it wasn't, putting on a fake smile for the sake of others.

You, on the other hand, could do no such thing. You pulled your collar a little bit higher around your jaw, picked up your pace until you and Matt had finally arrived at the systems room.

Matt made to walk right past it. If it hadn't been for your quick reflexes, he would have done so, but you just barely managed to hook your arm through his and drag him through the metal door. You shoved him forward and quickly slammed it closed, pressing your back against it as rough pants rattled your chest.

“Go,” you ordered upon realising that Matt was simply staring at the lines upon lines of computers currently flashing at him. He swallowed thickly, nodded and dashed off to the nearest one. His fingers sped across the keyboard as he put in the details he needed, his tongue slowly making it's way out of his mouth in that way it always did when he was concentrating. His brown eyes narrowed, and he ran a hand through his messy brown hair.

You could have watched him forever when he was in this mindset, because it was one of the rare times he actually seemed at peace. Despite the risk of getting caught, despite the fact that you had just stolen the identity of two people who could very well be marching through these hallways right now, Matt was at peace because he was doing what he loved.

But you couldn't watch him forever. Not now. Not whenever you heard the voices ringing out behind the door.

Matt looked up, eyes frantic. Swiftly, you pulled your gun from the back of your dress trousers and whirled around, waving a dismissive hand in his direction.

“I can handle it.”

“They're early. By the time they get to the door, I won't have gotten in,” he replied. “Y/N, if we need to leave-”

“I can handle it!” you barked. “Get the information. Fast.”

Truth was, you weren't sure if you could handle it. The voices were getting louder and louder with each passing second. They would be passing the door soon, might just decide to look in if you and Matt hadn't been subtle enough – you couldn't risk that. You couldn't afford them getting suspicious and looking inside whenever Matt was elbow deep in their computers mechanics.

The gun trembled in your hands. If they were to open the door, you would never be able to get a direct hit. Your aim would be off, lives would be at risk, the alarms would go off and you-

“Have you got in yet?” you hissed, stumbling away from the door just as the heads of the passing scientists disappeared down the hallway. You nearly doubled over in relief, but used the energy instead to spin around and look at Matt.

He nodded slowly. “I'm in but . . . there's so much to undo. It'll take hours for all of it to transfer onto the memory stick.”

“We don't have hours.”

“I know that,” Matt hissed, running his hands through his hair. “I can only take little bits at a time.” He looked up at you. “We're gonna have to come back another day for the rest.”

You blinked, heart dropping into your stomach. “Matt...”

“I know it's not ideal,” he said, already plugging the memory stick into the side of the computer. “But we have no other choice. If Shiro doesn't like the sudden halt in plans, then he's gonna have to find another way. Right now, this is the only option we have.”

You didn't bother arguing with him; what could you even say? If he was unable to do it, then that was completely out of his control. Besides, the idea of risking another few minutes in this room, behind an unlocked door with Galra soldiers marching outside of it, had you uneasy. The quicker you got out of here – information obtained or not – the happier you would be.

Matt plucked the memory stick out from the computer after a few minutes, stuffed it into his pocket before dashing round the side of the desk and heading towards the door. You took one last hesitant glance back at the room before you followed behind him, making your way back down the hostile hallways.

+++

Never before had you been happier to see Team Voltron.

Lance opened the doors and immediately engulfed you in a welcome home hug. You spluttered against him, but wrapped your arms around his middle and hugged him back nonetheless.

“You both went off the radar,” he said. “We thought we'd lost you!”

“We had to take our jackets off to put on the blazers,” you explained, pulling away and flattening a piece of his hair with a fond smile on your face. “We left the tracking devices in the pockets of our old jackets.”

Lance grunted. “Don't scare me like-”

“Oh my God, there you are!”

You squeezed your eyes closed. Of course.

Caitlin stampeded through the array of people waiting to welcome you and Matt home, bouncing her shoulder roughly against Slav's and causing the poor man to stumble forward, just barely catching himself on Pidge's upper arm. She was wearing one of Matt's old jumpers, along with a pair of stained blue jeans and converse.

She looked casual. She truly looked as if she'd been having a spa day whilst you and Matt had been out risking your lives for the sake of people like her.

You gritted your teeth and forced yourself to look away before you could play victim to the sight of her crashing her lips against Matt's.

“They told me about you going off the radar,” she said. “I was so worried, Matt. I thought I'd lost you.”

“I'm fine,” Matt replied, a slight tremble to his voice that had you glancing over your shoulder to make sure he was okay.

His eyes were wide, cheeks flushed and fingers slack against her waist. It was a direct contrast to the tight grip Caitlin had on his shoulders, caging him in before he had a chance to detach himself from her arms.

“This is exactly the reason why I didn't want you going,” she huffed. “Y/N could have handled the mission perfectly well on their own. You had no reason to go.”

“Y/N isn't a computer programmer,” Pidge scoffed. “Idiot.”

Matt's eyes widened. You snickered, but quickly hid it with a cough as Caitlin whirled around to shoot a glare in your direction. She would never yell at Pidge – not with Matt in the room – meaning the first person she could release her anger on was you.

You gave her a wary grin. “I'm afraid Pidge is right. We needed Matt today.”

Matt placed a hand on Caitlin's arm. “It's okay, Cate. I'm fine. We're both fine.” He glanced up at Shiro then. “We might have to go back another few times to get the rest of the information.”

Shiro started to reply, but of course Caitlin had to get her own comments in first. It started with a shrill squeal of shock before she was spinning on her heel and slamming her hands into Matt's shoulders.

It could have been light hearted. There was every possibility that she didn't mean to hurt him, but you saw the way he winced, the way he stumbled back and bit his tongue in any attempt to keep his noise of pain at bay.

Caitlin's eyes were wide with fury. “You didn't tell me that!”

Matt blinked. “I didn't think it was-”

“You know what? If you two bonded so well on this mission, why don't you just go off with each other, huh?”

Matt's eyes widened. Your heart stopped, the crowd around you suddenly going eerily silent.

“Cate-”

“Don't call me that,” Caitlin hissed, slapping Matt's shoulders yet again. “I have had it up to here with trusting someone who would rather spend more time with some other person than me! I deserve better than that, Matt Holt! Much better!”

“It's for the mission!” Matt exclaimed. Lance had already awkwardly ducked out of the room, Pidge and Hunk following close behind him. Shiro glanced at you, silently asking whether or not you wanted him to stay to keep track of things – you simply nodded towards the door, giving him all the permission he needed. He grabbed Keith's arm and steered him out of the room, leaving you alone with the arguing couple.

“It just seems like you want to spend every moment you can with Y/N and not me,” Caitlin was saying. “Why should I put up with that?”

It was that question that spiked your fury, the genuine tinge of betrayal in her voice. She had the nerve to ask Matt why she should bother with him when he had put up with her bullshit for months now. He had suffered through abuse and insults and being made to feel tiny for her to lose her mind over something as petty and childish as this.

You gritted your teeth and risked a step forward. “Are you-”

Caitlin whirled on you. “And you stay out of this, you bitch!” And then she swung her arm, her long nails raking across the flesh of your cheek. You cried out, stumbled back with the force of the blow – it wasn't so much her strength, but more the shock that came with the sudden slap.

Your eyes watered, blurring your vision, but not enough for you to be unable to see Matt taking a step forward. He grabbed Caitlin around the waist, lifted her behind him even as she kicked and screamed and clawed at the air in any attempt to reach you.

Matt set her down and immediately rushed to your side. You hadn't even realised you had fallen over until he was beside you, gently stroking the hair away from your neck, whispering words to you that made no sense past the thrumming of blood in your ears.

Caitlin cried out. “Look at this! You go straight to them even though I'm right here!”

“Would you just be quiet!” Matt suddenly roared. You flinched back, the volume of his voice stunning you – never before had you heard him be quite so aggressive. This was Matt you were talking about; sweet, delicate Matt who wouldn't hurt a single soul even if his life depended on it.

He didn't cast her a glance even after he yelled. Caitlin was stunned into silence, her arms wrapped tight around her middle, her eyes firm on the back of Matt's head as she watched him help you up, one hand firm on your elbow to steady you. You could walk. You were perfectly fine bar the scratches currently oozing blood upon your cheek, but you stumbled nonetheless. The shock had gotten to you, the affects of the last two minutes making it difficult for you to even concentrate on a simple task such as walking.

“Let's go. Come on,” Matt whispered, leading you out the door. He didn't look back at Caitlin, but instead directed you to his room, where he sat you down on the bed before disappearing into the bathroom.

When he was gone, the ship seemed eerily quiet. You were so used to hearing Caitlin parading around the hallways, giving her usual orders or making her usual snarky remarks. You were used to hearing Shiro in the kitchen giving Lance a lecture on what he should and shouldn't be eating, was so used to Hunk and Colleen talking about the different kinds of plants that could be used within different recipes. You were so used to noise that the sudden silence had you feeling numb, unsure where to direct your thoughts.

They zoned in on what just happened, no matter how hard you tried to get them to focus elsewhere. Matt's face. Caitlin's words. What she could have done had Matt not grabbed her. What she will do whenever Matt and her finally came face-to-face again.

You shivered at the thought.

“Pull my blanket over you if you're cold.”

You jumped, head snapping towards the bathroom where Matt was standing in the doorway, busy stirring a tablet into some water.

“I'm fine,” you croaked out. “You look a little shaken up.”

He did. His eyes were now veined as he tried to fight back tears, his cheeks pale and sunken in.

He glanced up and shrugged, wading over to you with the cup in his hand. He placed it on the bed side table before hesitantly lowering himself onto the mattress beside you.

“I didn't know she was gonna go for you.”

“I know you didn't.” You shrugged. “It doesn't matter. What's done is done now.”

“You shouldn't be thinking like that. She hurt you, Y/N.”

You bit your tongue; you so desperately wanted to bring up the fact that she had been hurting him from the very beginning of their relationship, both emotionally and physically. The manipulation you had seen Matt play victim to was scary, and the fact that he was so oblivious to it was even scarier.

Matt sighed and trailed his hands through his hair. “I'll talk to her. I'll – I'll tell her to get help.”

“She's not staying on this ship.” Even as you said it, you knew the decision was final. You had family on this ship, people you loved and cared for – you would fight till the ends of the earth if it meant getting her away from them.

Matt froze. When he spoke, his voice was small and strained with his efforts of not crying. “She can change.”

“She won't,” you replied bluntly. “She's had her chances, and you know that. So you can either go with her or stay – but I'm not putting my family in danger by keeping her here. Not any more.”

Matt pushed his palms into his eyes, as if doing so could somehow push this conversation back. “I've been such an idiot, haven't I?”

Your head jerked in his direction. “What-”

“You told me on the ship today,” he said. “You told me I was smarter than this, and I am. It's just . . . . I thought I was in love, Y/N.”

You swallowed thickly. This had definitely not been the direction you had been expecting the conversation to go. You had wanted to talk to him about this issue for months, but now that he was initiating it, every long-willed and emotional speech you had mentally prepared had disappeared into the back of your mind.

“She treated me well at the start,” he croaked out. “We were happy. And then she got comfortable, thought she could start controlling me, and I let her. I just – did whatever she told me to because I thought that would stop her from lashing out. But then even doing what she said wasn't enough. I couldn't do the things I wanted to do without her getting mad at me, claiming I was leaving her out or favouring someone else over her.”

“You were being manipulated, Matt. None of us understands how that feels. Nobody can blame you until they've experienced it themselves.” Matt shook his head, lower lip trembling. “Why did it take her hurting you for me to finally realise who she is?”

Your breath hitched, the scratches on your face suddenly burning. “I don't – I don't know.”

“I've never felt so angry at her,” he continued. “She's thrown a glass at me, and I didn't feel as angry at her then as I do now.”

“Matt-”

“I'm not thinking straight,” he grumbled, standing up before you had a chance to grab for his arm. He stumbled towards the door, gripping his hair into a ponytail at the nape of his neck before letting it fall and cascade down his back again. “You can leave when you're ready. I'm gonna go and find some fresh air.”

You made to stand up. “Matt, let's just talk about this. You can't go out there on your own. Not when you're like this.”

He waved a dismissive hand in your direction, swallowing thickly. For a second, he looked like he was about to say something, but then his eyes fell to the floor and he shook his head, leaving you behind with not a single word spoken.

+++

They were arguing again. It sounded bad. Worse than before.

You were sat upright in bed this time, leaning your head back against the wall with your eyes closed. The covers were draped over the top of your knees, even as they were bunched up to your chest, a way to stabilise yourself as you listened in to Caitlin's screaming and Matt's calm responses that never seemed to get him any further forward.

Already two glasses had smashed. You heard them crash against the wall, followed abruptly by Matt saying, “You didn't have to do that,” as if his calm and collected demeanour was going to do anything at all for the fury Caitlin was feeling. Caitlin had laughed at him, called him stupid before she went back to screaming at the top of her lungs over something you had yet to catch on to.

You had a fairly good idea, though. It had to be about earlier, about Matt protecting you over her. There was no other logical explanation, nothing else Matt could have done that would have angered Caitlin so much.

It must have been around one in the morning when the argument finally started to cease. Caitlin got quieter, no more glasses were being smashed, Matt had gone completely silent-

And then something crashed against the wall.

You jerked upright immediately, pure terror sinking through your body. You were scrambling out of the covers before you even had a chance to comprehend what was going on, throwing yourself towards the door and yanking it open just in time for Matt to yank his own bedroom door open and come flooding out. He didn't spare you a glance when he turned the corner and all-but-sprinted down the hallway.

Your eyes flicked to the open door. Caitlin stood there, gripping the door frame with whitening knuckles, panting heavily. There was blood on her palm, a piece of glass dropped to the floor beside her; she looked insane. She looked utterly, completely insane and there was a side of you now that wanted to dive towards her and pummel her.

But you glanced back down the hallway to where Matt had just fled, and you realised that he was much more important than her.

You turned back to Caitlin. “What did you do to him?”

She looked up at you through the tips of her eyelids, her dark hair scraggled and hanging in her eyes. She didn't give you a proper answer, merely shrugged and said, “I'm sure he wants you right now, so you can find out then.”

You didn't have time to argue, didn't have time to piece together her snide little comment. You shoved yourself off the door frame and dashed down the hall towards Matt, heart thumping at a million miles per hour; he was going to be hurt. He was going to be hurt, and heartbroken, because maybe now he had finally come to terms with the truth. No matter how evil you saw Caitlin, no matter how evil she genuinely was, Matt had loved her at one point. He had been so deep beneath her spell that, despite the abuse she had given him, he still would have gone to the ends of the earth for her.

You rounded the corner, and there he was.

Curled up at the end of the hallway, half hidden behind shadows cast from the window above him. He rubbed at his wrist roughly, something he always did when he was fighting off the urge to cry; you had seen it many of times, and every single time, it completely broke your heart.

“Matt,” you choked out. He didn't look up. He didn't really need to. He simply closed his eyes and let his head fall forward, letting the first few tears slip down his cheeks. He was with you now. He could cry if he wanted to.

You kneeled down beside him and placed a gentle hand on his arm. He stopped rubbing his wrist, glanced up at you and shook his head; it was a simple gesture, one that portrayed his message perfectly.

It's over.

You nodded back, pulling his hand into your lap and intertwining your fingers with his. He shuffled closer to you, his knee clipping against your own, and the two of you sat in the warm comfort that came with the silence. Neither of you needed to talk. Neither of you needed to comfort the other person, or make up some bullshit excuse as to why you were sitting in a hallway with tears streaming down your face – just being there, with Matt by your side and his hand in your own, was enough for you. It was enough for both of you.

Hours must have passed before the silence was finally shattered and Matt spoke up. His voice was groggy, thick with unshed tears and memories of what – you hoped – he was leaving behind.

“I should have listened to you.”

You rubbed your thumb against his own. “You don't have to think about her any more. I'll make sure – I'll make sure you're safe.”

“I don't want pity.”

“I'm not giving you pity. I'm being a good friend.”

Matt closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the wall.

“What did it?” you asked before your nerve could splinter. He creaked open one eye, pinched his brows together in confusion. You inhaled before elaborating. “What did she do this time that was so different from all them other times? What made you finally decide to leave?”

Matt didn't stiffen, didn't shy away from the personal question. His grip on your hand tightened that little bit more before he opened both of his eyes and glanced down at your joined fingers. Bracelets hung loosely around his wrist, the string tickling your flesh but you did not pull away. Not when he started messing idly with your fingers, plucking each one and letting it snap back against his leg in a way you could only describe as childish.

It was nice to see him relax for a change.

“She threatened to kill you.”

Your breath left you in one clean swoop. Your head snapped round, eyes wide and heart thundering – and yet you did not move, even though every instinct in your body was screaming for you to stand up and confront Caitlin before she could become even more of a threat. That was what you had been trained to do – dismiss the threat, get rid of anyone who may be willing to hurt you or your family.

But you stayed beside Matt, staring at the side of his head as the world tilted and disappeared until it was only him that you could properly concentrate on.

He pursed his lips, not looking at you when he continued. “She's not safe to be around. I should have realised that sooner, but – but before, she was just hurting me. Mentally, physically, but it was just me and I could deal with that. But then tonight...” He bit his lip, started messing with the ring on your finger. “Tonight she said she was going to kill you, and I snapped. I realised what you had been telling me was true the entire time, so I stormed out. She tried to throw a glass at my head when I was walking out, but I think she ended up cutting herself instead-”

“She did,” you burst out, because you just needed to talk, just needed to say something. “She – She sliced her palm open.”

Matt nodded. “I didn't go back even though I heard her cry out.” He looked at you. “That's – That's progress, isn't it? I can – I can get over her.”

You had never been one for affection. You had been trained in the art of being completely heartless when you needed to be, but it was different with Matt. You reached over, wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug before you could think about your own actions – and it was natural.

His head dipped into the crook of your neck and it was there that he started crying. There were no sobs, no racking shoulders and hysteric screams. The only sign you really had that he was finally letting go was the damp tears sliding onto your flesh. You reached up and ran your hands through his hair, letting him cry because this was what he needed. It was what he had needed for months, and you were honoured to be the one he trusted enough to finally let it happen.

+++

“Happy Valentines Day!”

You looked up, startled at the sudden loud noise that had emitted from the doorway. With your headphones dangling around your ears and your sweatpants rolled up to your knees, you did not look ready to go on a surprise Valentines Day date.

Which seemed to be exactly what Matt had planned.

He stood in the doorway wearing his Spiderman pyjamas, an unopened cake in his hand alongside a bottle of wine that you knew neither of you would finish. It was the same every celebration – Matt would spend plenty of money on alcohol, only for you to both get so absorbed in conversation that you would forget about it until it no longer interested you.

Your computer and the work within it went ignored as you stood up and dashed towards the door, grabbing the cake out of Matt's hands. He smiled at you.

“That's the first thing you grab for?” he teased, raising a brow.

You grinned, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips before you span on your heel and dashed back towards the bed, flopping down upon it with the boxed cake balancing on your knee. “Where did you find the time to do all this?”

“It wasn't difficult,” he replied, sitting down next to you, pulling two forks out of his back pocket. “Not when you've been working all day. I've barely seen you.”

You sighed. “I'm sorry. I'm a bit behind on work, and-”

“Don't apologise,” he scoffed, shoving the fork into your hand. “I can see you now, and that's all I care about. Now, let's eat.” He stretched out across the bed, placing one hand behind his head. “And tell me all about how your Valentines Day without your boyfriend has been.”

You rolled your eyes. “You really know how to make a person feel bad.”

He grinned. “I'm teasing. I know how hard you work.” He sat bolt upright. “But from here until tomorrow morning, you're not doing any more work. We're gonna take as many hours out of Valentines Day as we possibly can, whether we-”

You cut him off by crying out, the cake on your fork having spilled and landed directly on your shirt.

Matt's flinch was unmistakable, as you had seen it plenty of times before. His entire body jerked, his hands flying up to cover his face as if he expected you to swing for him – it broke your heart every time it happened.

As soon as his eyes met yours and he realised what had happened, he relaxed. He rolled his eyes, pretending he hadn't just completely lost himself for a moment in believing you were going to hurt him. He leaned forward and started dabbing at the front of your shirt, shaking his head like a disappointed dad.

But whilst he was used to his own reflexes, you couldn't let it drop like that. You stared at him for a moment, before reaching up and taking his hand in your own. He froze, shocked at the sudden movement, risked giving you a tiny, confused smile before you leaned in and pressed your lips to his own.

He hummed against your mouth, eyes widening for only a moment before he pulled away and raised a brow. “What was that for?”

“She's gone,” you whispered, and he froze. “You know I'd never hurt you, Matt. You don't have to be scared any more.”

Matt's features softened with realisation. He hadn't even fully noticed that he had flinched, that he still flinched every time a loud noise sounded around him. It had been two years since Caitlin had been banished from the castle ship, and still the remains of her abuse lingered in the back of Matt's brain.

He pressed his forehead to your own. “I know. It's reflex. I'm – I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologise,” you said, quoting his previous words. “I love you.”

Matt smiled, pressed a soft kiss to the tip of your nose before he whispered, “I love you more.”

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