#me talking about my hyperfixation on my blog for almost the first time?? crazie
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If you have the time and energy: Do you have a link or a title for the longitudinal study about dieting and diabetes that you mentioned in the tags of that one post? I would greatly appreciate it, I'm trying to collect some data to better argue against fatphobia in my job
yeah dude i have like. everything lol
the study is called the look AHEAD (action for health for diabetes) study and it ran between 2000 and 2015. five thousand participants were assigned to either a weight loss program (1200-1800 calorie diet and 25 min/day physical activity) or simple informational counseling with no weight loss component. as health markers, the study looked at rates of cardiovascular disease, weight loss, diabetes remission, and a few more technical indicators.
the results are so instructive on what dieting does and doesn't do for the body. to start: the maximal “weight loss” for our the group peaked at 9% one year in and leveled out at less than 5% by the third year. so, a 200-pound person would be a 182-pound person after the first year and a 190-pound person after the third year (i.e.: still fat, and fatter the second year than the first). this is informative because it is so typical; six months on a diet is the amount of time it takes for the metabolism to react and counteract the incidental weight loss at the beginning of the diet. take any random weight loss trial and you will see the same shape of the curve; for example, these are examples take from a literature review published in 2000 where the authors talk about how no matter what kind of diet they prescribe, the field is not seeing long-term weight loss and, quote, “fresh ideas are needed to push the field forward.” (spoiler alert, these fresh ideas would not be forthcoming.)
while i was ranting in the tags i confused the cardiovascular disease results and the diabetes remission results – it was the CVD that had showed no impacts. ultimately the trial was ended for futility because the hazard ratio between the two groups was so totally identical:
this also is entirely typical. most studies on weight loss show no significant decrease in mortality. for those that do show a small improvement in mortality, it is dwarfed (and confounded) by the much more reliable result that increasing your physical activity improves mortality regardless of weight loss. basically, exercising makes people live longer, and the rare positive mortality impact of dieting is best explained as an aftereffect of the exercise that usually goes along with a diet. not to mention that the weight loss from these trials is so trivial that it’s hard to objectively credit anything to it. for metabolically healthy individuals, weight loss from a diet is associated with a higher mortality risk. like, surprise, cutting calories and working your body past its nourishment is bad for you. glenn gaesser and siddharta angadi talk about this here in one of the best papers to read on this subject if it interests you.
and finally there's diabetes remission. in the first year, 11% of the diet group experienced some remission compared to 2% of the controls. on the surface, that looks like a flatly better remission rate. however.
the total remission rate went down every year after. so, your hba1c or your glycated hemoglobin level describes the percentage of your hemoglobin that has glucose bonded to it. it's the level of sugar in the blood, and it's how we define diabetes: anything higher than 5.7% is pre-diabetic and anything higher than 6.5% is diabetic. what these graphs show is a temporarily decreased hba1c that goes steadily back up the longer the diets continue. this is far from a cure.
eating less food than usual can make your blood sugar drop, especially if you are diabetic. as i understand it – insulin is the hormone that allows your cells to take in glucose, and type 2 diabetics have an excess of insulin in their bloodstreams, so when a diabetic eats less than usual that unregulated excess insulin allows the available glucose to be taken up quickly, resulting in lower blood sugar levels after the fact. this is what you're seeing at the beginning of the study. but like, that effect doesn't continue forever. even if you continue faithfully on the diet, your body rebalances your metabolism against your normal food environment. as a diabetic, that rebalancing takes you out of remission and you don't go back in.
the fact that people remitted for a short time is not nothing. there's no broadly-accepted cure for diabetes, which renders diets as treatment a nuanced subject. like, you're relieved of the diabetes effects for a while, but now you're suffering from the diet itself, and in the long run it exacerbates the scale of the problem by intensifying the underlying metabolic syndrome.
it's early to tell (read: there aren't a lot of vectors putting out this information, so take with grain of salt) but treatment for the underlying metabolic syndrome that causes type 2 diabetes appears to be the path to remitting type 2 diabetes long-term. diabetes is like a series of hormonal triggers failing to cue one after another. you want to address each of those failed triggers through medication and a safe food environment rather than the symptoms-based approach of e.g. a diet, which produces the desired end effect for a while but doesn't actually cure you of the disease. the foremost doctor working on metabolic syndrome is emily cooper, who has a book and a podcast and a medical practice that i recommend. it's good stuff, especially compared to some of the bullshit in this field.
ultimately the look ahead study is a case of an obesity study uncovering relevant results by accident. if you read the text, the authors don't discuss any of their fucked data at all; they instead jump to making excuses for why, surprise, prescribing light malnutrition doesn't cure heart disease. the degree of corporate capture in the obesity treatment field is extreme and due to a cascade of reasons* diets are held as sacrosanct and are not allowed to be aspersed. so authors of studies in this field talk around their data like it's their job (it's their job). it's, like, tobacco research in the 80s bad. the whole field is sick with rot.
but despite the barriers put up by the financially interested, good work still happens and good people are still working. even in the bad work, all of the information is there if you read what the data says and not what its interpreters tell you it's supposed to say. we're coming to a point in history where people can read studies for themselves and plainly see what is and isn't. we're coming to a point in history where the long game of telephone from some corporate exec to the morning news to my doctor to me is arrested at the jump. we're coming to a point in history where we're harder to just lie to. and it's going to feel real good when the truth goes further.
good luck with your job, lmk if you have any other questions 💜
*one: the corporations actually responsible for rising obesity levels don't want to be challenged and the focus on personal responsibility scapegoats them. two: leveling the "disease" of obesity and cultural anti-fatness against people creates a fertile consumer market for pharmaceuticals, diet products, cosmetics, etc. three: the main prescriptions for obesity (diets, drugs, and surgery) don't work long-term, so people stay fat or get fatter and the aforementioned consumer market never disappears. it's real fucked.
#fatphobia#anti-fat bias#body positive#fat positivity#me talking about my hyperfixation on my blog for almost the first time?? crazie
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azerbaijan grand prix ✩ 30.04.2023
listen. i'm going to be real. the reason this is so high up is because it was my first taste of lestappen cr4ck c0caine i'm being so fucking serious. 😵💫😵💫😵💫 this shit fucking killed me. i was unable to talk about anything else. i felt like i had been punched in the fucking gut i'm so fucking serious. 🤧🤧🤧 if you scroll back down far enough you can find my absolute breakdown over this grand prix. i was going BONKERS. getting drunk after quali with my bestie over this shit kinda BONKERS. dancing in the street kinda BONKERS. who needs drugs when you have autism. ☺️☺️☺️
okay lets go back a bit. it had been almost a month since australia, and i had learned A LOT about f1 in the meantime. some very very important things happened, but the most important one is that i made friends! genuine friends! on f1blr! 🥰🥰🥰🤧🤧🌷🌷🌷
i did this by making some rules with myself: if i was going to engage in my hyperfix on tumblr, i should at the very least post my thoughts about it and try to message people. because in all my other fandoms i was just... alone. 😔
to start with, idk how i did it, but i managed to overcome my fear of messaging people first (i was shaking like a leaf while doing it, though), and i somehow managed to message @/verstrapons... which looking back is fucking crazy because i was SCARED and INTIMIDATED and would like... freak out making sure i said the "right stuff" 😭😭😭 looking back this is utterly ridiculous but... i hadn't had online friends in a WHILE okay i was suffering 🥹🥹🥹 it obviously turned out amazingly but!!! i'm so glad we clicked 💕💕 i love you emma... 💓💓💥💥
then i joined the max discord server… i love you guys so much too - i learn stuff every day from y’all and you all made me feel so welcome 🥺🥺🌷🌷 a million flowers to u all… i hope we can meet up at the berlin E prix 🥹🥹🥹
and my lovely bestie @/boxenstopp … my kimi /p… i’m so glad you send me an ask that day on my main blog 🥰🥰🥰 i can’t imagine my life without you and i’m so glad we’re friends… 🥺🥺🥺 you always make me feel so accepted aaaghh… can’t wait to meet up for christmas again 🌷🌷🌷🌷 or maybe we already met. idk when this is coming out 🥹🥹
last but not least… @/xiaoluclair … thank you so much for always messaging with me, especially when we were both more active on tumblr 💌💌💕💕
sappy shit aside.
the other thing that happened during this time? i started realising which drivers i like, which i don’t like as much, and which ships i like and dislike. my top 3 ships have not changed since (lestappen prosenna simi) 😳😳😳 and my tumblr got banned while making a brocedes edit (PLEASE) but it got restored thank the lord LMFAO 🥹🥹🥹 i think i even started my lestappen fic (the first one) during this time‼️‼️ ain’t that something!! don’t mention the fact that sebchal was my first ever f1 fic i will cry 🧍♂️/nsrs.
and of course i got to know a lot more about f1! including but not limited to: what the teams actually were, reading the first half of the prosenna book, binging youtube video’s, not quite getting a lot of the references (bono my tyres are dead), what some things on the car do… etc etc. just a lot of general knowledge, although i felt like i didn’t know anything still (well i still feel that way) 😭😭😭
shit we havent even gotten to the race yet. i love yapping 🗣️🗣️🗣️
OH!!!! this was the first time i watched a race while chatting with other people, specifically the ones mentioned above💙💙‼️‼️ thanks for hearing me ramble on about being scared for max always (thats my brand. and he slays every time 🔥🔥🔥)
so, starting with free practice. i still didn’t watch, but i do remember being at my grandparents and quinine texting me that lestappen were 1-2 in fp1? very funny. on the way home i listened to puppy princess and i was like “this is very lestappen core”. lmfao. yeah that changed me as a person for real 😭😭
quali. what. the. fuck. WHAT THE FUCK 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️‼️ i think i almost passed out. keep in mind, there was a FOUR WEEK gap between australia and baku. i went fucking crazy. when 0.000 happened i blacked out for a moment (/nsrs) and i screamed i was SHAKING i was TREMBLING 😵💫😵💫 I FELT SICK 🙏🙏 i was happy stimming the entire way to the store (i had to eat afterwards). like that was so sick. i genuinely yelped like a damn puppy (ha) when 0.000 happened. wasnt even upset when charles got pole in the end i was so high on it. and then max kept praising charles OH i felt sick. i felt deranged 💥💥💥💥💥💥
this also happens to be the first sprint race of the season. wish it was the last fuck sprints. sprint quali i just remember me sitting in my brothers room completely disinterested as i always am in fucking spring qualis. lmfao. the real sprint was funny, only bc of the INFAMOUS gax moment 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 hole in the rb19 😨😨😨😨 max angry 🥰🥰🥰 george. 🙄🙄🙄 LIKE THAT SHIT SLAPPED i was mad asf at george at the time tho LMAO 🥹🥹🥹
OHHHH the race itself was ass btw. was genuinely kinda upset after NOTHING GOOD HAPPENED AND THEY FUCKED UP MAXS STRAT 💔💔💔💔💔 post race was great tho. more than great. it was fucking amazing ‼️‼️‼️💓💓💓 we got: max straight up lying to charles (“you were catching!!” <- charles was 20 seconds behind max 🫣); charles sitting on the wrong chair (typical); CHARLES AND MAX SWAPPING PODIUM POSITIONS AND CHARLES BEING DUTCH FOR A SECOND 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ LIKE WHAT. HUH. SORRY?!?!?? sure. whatever 🤯🤯🤯🤯. and then charles RUNNING over to spray max 🥰🥰🥰 yeah that was good. that was real good 🌷🌷🌷🌷
i really did love this entire race weekend so much - this was my austria 22 i cant even lie. thats also why its ranked so highly, which, looking back, so fucking crazy‼️‼️‼️ we got so spoiled with lestappen content from qatar onwards that looking back this isnt even that much but believe me. to maple this was crack cocaine of the highest level 😁😁😁😁💞💓💕💓💓💘💘💖💞💞💓💗💝
✩ song of the race: puppy princess - hot freaks
erm hem.
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*sharp inhale*
HAPPY BIIIRRRTTTHHHHDDDAAAYYY!!!!
Another year has passed for these six goobers! Another year of being silly, another year of being goofy, and another year of being jobless little NEETS! 🥰 (Even though they’re technically not jobless? They work on their own show, don’t they? Anyways-).
I know I’ve talked about it before, but these 6 have had such a huge influence on my life, it’s almost embarrassing. Their show is easily the most consistent fixation I’ve ever had, and their lives are a nightmare-scenario that I am so damn happy I get to indulge in. In self-ship lore, I’m proud to call them my friends. In real life though, damnit, I’m just glad I heard of them at all. Perhaps I shouldn’t get too personal, but every single brother’s had some sort of influence on me.
…
And, of course, that includes the catalyst brother for all of this.
As you can imagine, Kara is especially important to me. He’s somehow a culmination of what I am and what I want to be. We’re both really dramatic & artistic in a way, and we both act despite how others perceive us; I just really need his confidence! And, of course, he’s important to me purely based off the fact I wanna smooch him silly. But… there’s another part of it too:
Kara, to me, represents two of the most influential aspects of my life; self-shipping and Oso-San. He may not be my first F/O, technically; Ichimatsu was my first official F/O, and Dororo may as well have been an unofficial F/O since I was a kid. But, Kara is the earliest on the list, he somehow came back on the list after being removed during a rough-ass time, and he has caused the most brainrot without a damn doubt. In a way, he kinda summarizes the entire self-ship experience for me. And, ya know, the Oso-San representation is self explanatory. I have other “most influential” franchises, like Homestuck or FNAF, but Oso-San is the most persistent hyperfixation I have. It got me through high-school & through the pandemic, and it’s by far the series I revisit most.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, and I realized that Kara even represents my closest friendships (well, 2 of them anyway!). The two fixations he represents are closely tied to my friends; I wouldn’t be hitched to him if it wasn’t for one friend, and I wouldn’t even know about him if it weren’t for the other. I still remember watching clips of the show with @vhshipping , which actually caused dreams that literally gaslit me into watching the show NWKEKD; we ended up binging a bit of the show together, which I think solidified its place as a fixation in me lol. And I remember @self-shipping-payaso asking about the lil men I was posting about on my story, leading to them helping me realize that they could be F/Os! It’s crazy that a single character can bring back so many wonderful memories with such wonderful people. I hope those two realize how damn important they are to me, outside of their wingmaning as well! They better! I’m sending this to them so they should! You! You two! I fucking love you! 👋🥹
Needless to say, this has greatly increased his value as a character for me.
But… the question might pop up of “why are you talking about all of this in a birthday post?”, and the short answer is that “this is my blog and I’ll do whatever I want!”. But, if it wouldn’t kill me to be serious for five minutes, well, I guess it’s to showcase why I bother to make birthday posts about the bros in the first place. I usually don’t make big deals about fictional character birthdays, but these guys have had such an influence on me that I almost feel obligated to do it for them NAKDMDKFK. Maybe this is all my way of trying to justify why I’m so attached to them, idk.
Truth be told, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly explain everything they mean to me, but this was certainly a valiant effort!
So uh… TL:DR… Happy Birthday to the Matsunos~!
#this is a REEEAAALLLLYYY long post so-#Heads up for that BWJDKFKF#self ship#self shipper#self shipping#romantic f/o#🕶️💥dramatics💥🕶️#platonic f/o#👒💥Pop Art💥👒#⚾️💥America’s Sport💥⚾️#familial f/o#🌳🌲🌳💥Riding Hood and the Forest of Wolves💥🌳🌲🌳#rival f/o#🏇💥write those numbers down!💥🏇
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Ho postato 433 volte nel 2022
Sono 296 post in più del 2021!
19 post creati (4%)
414 post rebloggati (96%)
Blog che ho rebloggato di più:
@pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882
@usergreenpixel
@enigma-the-mysterious
@tairin
@kaxen
Ho taggato 273 dei miei post nel 2022
Solo 37% dei miei post non aveva tag
#joachim murat - 14 post
#awsome - 8 post
#so cute - 7 post
#the three musketeers - 6 post
#love this - 6 post
#awsome art - 5 post
#raoul - 5 post
#fantastic - 5 post
#i mean - 4 post
#the boys - 4 post
Longest Tag: 96 characters
#napoleon's abusiveness showing in how many people of his higher rank sent him to go fuck himself
I miei post migliori nel 2022:
#5
AAAAND another one of my mad AUs
Music? On and rocking
Courage? Mustered
Dignity? Already waved her goodbye
OK i’m ready. Apparently summer, having to study for exams i dislike and most of all reading nice books that send me in hyperfixation with the characters give me IDEAS™.
After some time spent convincing myself to do it i’ve finally read The Three Musketeers and having loved it to FOLLY, i CLEARLY devoured also Twenty Years After and started the Viscount of Bragelonne (Athos, i love you, but we’re not talking of you, forgive me my man).
This new obsession tonight coupled with my ever present love for LOTR and Silm and since APPARENTLY heat goes up to my head, i thought:
Ok, here we have Aramis, ridiculously always good looking, even at like... 20 years from the first time we meet him he is THE SAME AS ALWAYS and in the Viscount for the little i know for now he didn’t age much either, Devilishly good with horses AND swords (eggrazziearcazzo, you may say, he’s a MUSKETEER) with almost ZERO impulse control (Athos works as impulse control for them, actually) but GREAT cold blood, can apparently sing quite well, some disregard for rules and some great agility and effort in actually always managing to break one of two of those and... oh look, all the boxes check and hear me out.
Aramis. Being. MAGLOR FEANORION!!
I talked about this with my darling @tairin, my nice sis who i love and thank very much for being always there to hear me rambling about my obsessions and not having killed me yet. And she is even more of a genius than i suspected! (@joachimnapoleon please don’t kill us) She made me give a second check to who ELSE checked all the boxes and here, the illumination.
Good looking
Incredible with horses
Apparently skilled in verses/songs
Devilish with a sword
some disregard for rules NOT imposed by himself
Joachim Murat. Being Maglor Feanorion.
Tolkien fandom out here (@thiswaycomessomethingwicked i get you’re one of us?) tell me if maglor wouldn’t have a portrait of himself like this one of our darling jojo, c’mon!
He checks out also the diva personality!!
Anyway, this was my new silly AU, don’t kill me please, i still have to pass biochemistry and see confirmed my credits for cmcf, i’m too young to die and my cats would miss me😂
I hope you at least laughed a bit form this one silly thing.
12 note - Postate 15 giugno 2022
#4
Happy death day Naps!
Wandering around facebook i found this nice Dumas quote
Do not be deceived, today I am doing better; but I feel the same that the end is approaching. When I am dead, each of you will have the sweet consolation of returning to Europe: you will see one another’s relatives, the other’s friends. As for me, I will see my good ones in heaven...Yes, yes - he added, animating and raising his voice with an inspired accent - yes, Kleber, Dessaix, Bessières, Duroc, Ney, Murat, Massena, Berthier will come to meet me, they will tell me about what we did together, and I will tell the last events of my life: Seeing me again, everyone will go crazy with enthusiasm and glory. We will talk about our wars with Scipio, with Caesar, with Hannibal, and it will be a pleasure... Unless - he added, smiling - they are afraid to see many warriors gathered up there.
- A. Dumas, Napoleone.
Just to wish him a happy death-day
12 note - Postate 5 maggio 2022
#3
Guys i just needed to vent out a bit. We can’t find my cat. we looked into the house, outside, all over the sort-of-village where i live (i live in the country) and we can’t find it. Does any of you have an idea of why a cat can be disappeared in such a way? I just know that a moment she was inside and the other she was nowhere to be seen. I just needed to vent out a bit ‘cause i think i’m panicking just as much as before when we where actively looking for her. Do you have any idea of why a cat can just... fly and boh... i don’t even know if she actually is outside the house, even if i looked everywhere in. She’s injured under her neck, she had a dermatitis that we can’t manage to heal, even if she is way better than some months ago. sorry, just some venting out i don’t know how to cope with this
14 note - Postate 3 febbraio 2022
#2
Excerpt from ‘Gioacchino Murat e l’Italia meridionale’ -- presentation of the King
Sooo guys. Some time ago i got a book, ‘Gioacchino Murat e l’Italia meridionale’ which was introduced to me by @joachimnapoleon and after reading it I thought of making a post about it. Hope you will enjoy it!
So let’s get started! In the third part of the book we have a focus on the people who actually governed Naples, starting with the King and the Queen and proceeding with the ministers, describing how their personalities fitted in their roles and how they actually got their work done; this post will be about our favourite King of Naples, Joachim Murat. (the mistakes in the translation are entirely mine)
Here the original text in italian
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18 note - Postate 14 maggio 2022
Il mio post numero 1 del 2022
Just arrived!! I'm looking forward to reading it! I'm sure it will be epic!
28 note - Postate 26 novembre 2022
Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →
#tumblr2022#bilancio annuale#Il mio bilancio dell'anno 2022#Il tuo bilancio annuale#year in review#my 2022 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review
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Hi!! I know this is really out of the blue but we used to talk a lot on Twitter - MarsCorp, Infinite Bad, JFSP, all that jazz. You were also the very first person to comment on my very first AO3 fic (The Question under the MarsCorp tag)! I dropped off the internet for a long while and have had a bunch of different blogs in the last few years. And then I saw a fic of yours posted by OFMD AO3 and I was like! Wow! It’s them!! I’m glad to see you still writing! Kinda crazy, saw that and it was like running into an old friend. Anyways, how the hell have you been? I know it’s really out of the blue and you may have zero clue who I am but I just wanted to pop in and say hello! I’m on my main but I’m almost always on my side blog - this ones nature photography and suchlike lol
I totally get you not responding and honestly, no pressure! It just made me happy to see a familiar URL. Anyways, I really hope you’re doing well! Cheers!! 💜💜
Hello!
I'm afraid I don't recognise your URL, but I was wondering if you could possibly remind me of your Twitter handler? (No worries if you'd rather not, of course.)
I'm doing well, thank you, and I hope the same can be said for you. Work has been draining pretty much all of my time and energy, so I hardly ever post anything these days - I've been meaning to blog about my recent trips to Ireland/the UK, for instance, but I reckon it's not going to happen anytime soon - and I must say, it's really nice to dip my toes back into writing after all this time, no matter the actual quality of the fics themselves.
On a related note, it feels so good to have finally found a new fandom/hyperfixation in Our Flag Means Death (to go with my other newly acquired - and completely unrelated - hyperfixation, which is Irish comedy trio Foil Arms and Hog). To think I was about two seconds away from blocking the OFMD tag on here - right before I somehow changed my mind, and decided to see for myself what it was all about. Thank heavens for that.
(I'm not sure what the current etiquette is for answering Tumblr asks, so I hope it's all right for me to make this into a public post. Please give me a shout if you'd rather I deleted this.)
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Here’s the convoluted story!
so my sister and I both have pretty strong ADHD. We get hyperfixations all the time, among other stuff. We’re nerds, our hyperfixations usually show up in the form of a sudden obsession with one fandom or another.
We have this little…thing we do, where when one of us has a hyperfixation that they need to talk about or they will explode, we’ll call a meeting. Whichever one of us is a time bomb of obsession explosion will go to the other sister’s room, sprawl out on their couch, and unleash. The other sister will listen, ask questions, and just let the other one talk, usually while drawing (her) or writing (me) or doing something to occupy their attention while the other person is spewing random rambling. Typically we’re okay if the other person is only half listening- just being allowed to dump all of our fandom feelings out works for us.
So recently, we’ve both developed a new hyperfixation. I didn’t know what hers was. But mine happened when I randomly picked up Agent of Asgard at Target last week. Since then I’ve read all of it plus Journey Into Mystery and watched the first two Thor movies. I’ve also been manically scrolling through a lot of blogs like yours. (I did try the first episode of the Loki show- gotta confess I did like it, but I doubt that’ll stick if I keep going from what I’ve heard about it.) It’s one of the most extreme hyperfixations I’ve ever had. I think I’ll like Loki even after the obsession passes.
Anyway, I’ve developed some…strong opinions of some of the characters. And I was feeling that urge to talk about it. So yesterday I texted my sister and said I needed to unleash.
We did our usual setup- I crashed on her couch, she got out her sketchbook. And I went off. I was rambling for a solid half-hour, just going completely crazy. I was talking so much that my sister didn’t even ask her usual questions, she just drew and let me keep going.
But eventually I got to my feelings on Odin and Frigga, particularly Odin. And I noticed that as I kept talking about them, she was drawing slower and slower. Eventually she stopped altogether and was just staring at me.
I finally got really curious and asked her what was going on.
“You said you grabbed this at Target?” she asked.
“Yeah?”
“And these sort of adoptive parents are jerks? With the guy being kinda more obvious with it?”
“Yeah…”
And then she started grilling me. Not in a bad way, she was just quizzing me on the characters. Sometimes in a weirdly specific way.
“Is there another kid in the picture? A boy?”
“Yup,” I said, thinking of Thor.
“Blond?”
“Uh…yes.”
“Big?”
“Yeah.”
“Stupid?”
“…sometimes.”
“Okay, so the main character is your favorite, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Dark hair?”
“Yes.”
“Kinda scrawny?”
“Definitely.”
There were a lot more questions. She was having fun, I was having fun, so I just let it keep going even though it was a little weird.
But then she got to the last one.
“So your favorite…he’s magical, right?”
“Uh, yeah, that’s a significant character trait.”
My sister slammed her sketchbook down and shouted, “WE HYPERFIXATED ON THE SAME THING!”
Now this doesn’t usually happen. We have very different tastes. And while I’ve read a few comics before, she typically tends to like more mainstream things (she’s twelve, I’m twenty.) So I was very surprised, and I was like, “We did?”
And she’s grinning all over her face at this point, and she goes, “YES! Look!” And she reaches down under her bed and pulls out…
The first Harry Potter book.
And I was like, “What.”
And she was like “…is this not what you just described?”
And I almost said “what the heck are you talking about?” But then I thought about it, and…she’s kinda right.
So then I had to go grab my book and show her, and explain things in a slightly less rambly way. And then of course she got really excited about her fandom, so she started explaining the whole plot to me (yes, I’m twenty and have never read Harry Potter.) and we collectively decided that there are definitely similarities if you mess with canon slightly more than a little bit. We were in her room just talking for three hours until we both got thirsty and stopped to go get water.
She tends to get big ideas a lot, so now she wants me to rewrite the first Harry Potter book using solely Marvel characters while she draws illustrations for it. She already did a few doodles, and they’re awesome and hilarious- her art style is very overexaggerated, and while I have no idea what the Dursleys look like in either the movies or the books her doodle of Odin and Frigga as them is some of the funniest art I’ve ever seen. don’t know if we’ll end up doing too much with it, but we’ve both kinda bonded over this completely ridiculous misunderstanding of fandoms.
Anyway, that’s the story of how my sister and I somehow managed to think each other got into the same fandom and it was great and confusing and one of the weirdest experiences of my life. *inserg dramatic bow here*
-🦦
AMAZING - though now I'm questioning describing the stories/characters to each other without using their names even once skfjhvsdvds
#this could have been solved with any school or age question but yeah it checks out#amazing#what a lovely misunderstanding XD#agent of asgard is very fixation worthy good taste anon#but also if you both decide to go anywhere with the idea#feel free to tell because 👀#i'm interested in the AU XD#what a lovely recount
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okokokok it's almost 2021 and this year has been like one giant trainwreck and a half, but honestly, i'm really glad that it did allow me to make such meaningful relationships here on the internet, and i regret none of it
so here's a cheesy sappy post to y'all
ok first off, we're gonna talk about like, the new things i've discovered and gotten into this year
first there's Obey Me, which at the time was a fairly new otome game that was released and my GOD were it not for this fandom, i never would've found my internet family and even though i don't post much Obey Me content, i still love the game and the characters (especially Mammon i am still a morosexual)
then went Danganronpa which is 10 years old yet i only knew of it now smh, it's still my current hyperfixation because i just. i love everything about it. the gameplay, the story, the characters.
then comes Komaeda
BRUH i literally just knew him from a discord bot in Loki's server wtf but after watching the gameplay i started having a love hate relationship with him but NOW???? WTF HE ROSE TO THE TOP OF MY FAVES AND NOW HE BECAME MY BIGGEST COMFORT CHARACTER AND KIN?????? SPEAKING OF KINNING, ONCE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS IT FELT LIKE I GOT SUCKER-PUNCHED TO A NEW REALITY LIKE BRUH I NEVER KNEW ABOUT THIS MY EYES HAVE BEEN OPENED TO NEWER BIGGER POSSIBILITIES ZJJSNDNSJFJEND
and quite recently, i played Your Turn To Die to see why people like it so much and lemme tell ya, i'm no longer emotionally stable thanks to that game. it's really fucking great. go play it. it's free. stan Joe Tazuna.
and with the fandom craziness out of the way, we boutta make some shout-outs too
starting off with Kailee(@kiwis-land), Rooker(@snotty-rat), Carn(@mittons9081), Akari(@stxrgazers-rot), Loki(@lokis--cup), Corn(@cxxinqq) and Percy(@percywasherelol)
where do i begin with y'all jdjenzjjsk
you guys are probably my very first friends here on Tumblr, even though i got to know some of you better on Discord, but honestly i am so glad to be friends with you guys! i love talking to you all, i live sharing art with you all, i love spending time goofing off and talking about stupid shit here both on Tumblr and Discord, and really i just feel so glad to be friends with you guys!! you're all so amazing and i love you guys!!!!!!! /p
next up is Flade(@eggy-melancholy), Divine(@divinity-infinity), Ten(@anguismagi), Kai(@kainamite15), and Church(@infinitesecondedge)
you guys. you guys are literally like family to me. i honestly never thought i'd find anyone that i'd form a strong family-like bond with but here we are!! and i don't regret it. even though we don't exactly talk a lot like we used to back in the summer, i still am so very happy to have met you all and i love you guys so much /p
and here are my inspirations @carmel-rose @hybersleebbunbun @decays-art-stuff @x-ut-x @issa-nisa @luvuwite @oni-darling @flash-darlinq @pastyl-pearldrop and lots more
seeing y'all's creations really made me smile and be happy, no matter how shitty i felt at that time. the things you all make, the art you put out, even like random tidbits of backstory and plot for your own stories were very enjoyable and i love every single one of the creations you guys always put out!!! i really hope one day i can maybe get the chance to really know you guys better, because you're all really great people!!!!
of course, the peeps who support what i make and post, @apocalypticmatcha @feisty-fae @redravebillx @tearbys-blog @palkiha @stxrberries and many others i am unsure of who else to tag so i'm very sorry!
thank you guys so much for supporting my art and other creations!!! seeing you in my notes really makes me a little more happy and motivated to post more of my art, and honestly i really love what you guys make as well!! you're all really talented!!!! wish i could talk more to you guys but i'm still rly anxious ajjdjdkkd but ily all!!!!!!! /p
and lastly, thank you all to my followers!!!! thank you so much for sticking with me through this hellscape of a year, whether you've been following since way back or you've only been following me recently!!! i'm glad i've gotten through this year with all of you!!
before i stop typing sjnejdjdj, please join my server if you haven't! it's open for everyone! https://discord.gg/CdeDbFm
i wish you all a happy new year, and thank you all for being with me through this!!!
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1, 10, 11, and 12 for the ask game ? 😺🙏💟
Hi hi hi!! You're getting long answers to these bc any excuse to talk about this man makes me go crazy stupid 🙌🙌🙌💕
1) What's a Hot Take you have about your f/o?
HE👏IS👏NEURODIVERGENT!! I'm specifically talking adhd, but he checks a lot of boxes for something more ambiguous too. I'm actually rewriting my adhd sh.aiapouf post and I'm gonna put it here too, but the cut time version IS: noticeable hyperfixations/special interests in music and the monarchy, practically no empathy + has difficulty understanding the emotions of others, fast thinking + thinks a LOT, almost weirdly analytical + book smart with little to no interpersonal skills, extreme emotions all over the board, like there's a LOT here and it explains like 80% of why he's Like That 😤
10) How did you feel when you realized "oh of course I had to like That Character"?
Okay I have a lot to say on this one djnfkffk please bear with me as I write a whole novel
✌U_U ✌
Honestly,, , I wasn't happy LMAOOO, around the time I watched the anime for the first time i was actually still pretty into j.jba and unfortunately was really into dio U_U
I was fascinated by pouf as soon as I saw him in the opening, lots of neat ant designs and then this butterfly man?? I need to know everything about him 👀 His intro with the rainbows in the wings, the fairy chimes, the solo violin, all had me like 👁👁 Sir I Am Going To Study You Like The Insect You Are, and then I saw him actually play the violin and was sold lmao. He was funny as far as comic relief went and then? The giant improv ballet breakdown and antagonistic turn drew me in further and then I was invested in a no going back sorta way as soon as he went chibi for the first time, just watching the chaos of the entire scene with this ridiculous huge grin dhjdkxkf every single thing he did was in the extremes and it was like watching a train de-rail in real time, I saw him face down in the dirt at the end of the arc and didn't even feel anything, he was just so WILD
So I finish h.xh not too long after that and texted a friend and was like hmmm. I need to watch j.jba to return to my roots and also to forget that I think I might've accidentally given myself a lil crush on the butterfly man 😳 idk if that return ever happened but I DO remember being frustrated with how pretty he is,, I didn't really wanna shift hyperfixations at the time and also didn't know if it was attraction or gender envy bc. what I would give to simultaneously look so fem and so masc 👁 either way it was a 3 month struggle of "oh no oh my god I wanna kiss a bug so bad?? 😞" and then I caved at midnight in a denny's and was like okay. fine. I'm gay for a bug, I really really like him but *i* don't have to like that 😤
I did, in fact, proceed to like it, enough to make an entire separate blog for him. It was a slow progression of "I mean, I'd share a ballroom dance with him, like a waltz maybe", "hmm okay he's funny but whatever", "oh uh. he uh. I mean he's neat, a lot of people didn't like him but I just think he's an interesting character 😳" and. and then I finally caved and I never stopped talking sjdkfkf though to be fair, I was already talking about him a LOT on my main, I just decided that maybe it would be nice to have a space to just. contain 90% of my poufposting LMAOOO
Final note on this, but I think what really got me is how many characters are in this series and yet I gravitated towards the one no one could stand 😞✌ though to be fair the hatred for him has definitely gone down compared to what I can remember from a few years ago; absolutely does not change the fact that He Is The Way He Is, but I saw the war crimes, malice, potentially treason, and I won't name it but it's by far the most uncomfortable thing to sit through in the arc, I saw ALL of that and still went hmmmm yes I want that one U_U true love huh
11) Do you think it's better to have copious amounts of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?
The art situation with him is strange bc there's a decent enough to be notable amount of art of him captioned with some variation of "I hated him but he had a really cool character design", but it's still content. Surprisingly, I actually don't track the tag for him but take a look at it anyways almost every day and there's maybe one new thing there like once a week, minimal content bc so many people just didn't like him, which is fair!! But also, he was definitely there as a prominent character, I'd just like to see more of him U_U I would put more art here but I'm too conscious of the art ops seeing my bs over here jdkdkfkk
There actually are a handful of ship art drawings of him, which astounds me bc this man wasn't there to make friends, not even with his own siblings :/, but the errant art of him with morel or kite is honestly pretty cute, please just let this man be happy, I love to see him smile 🥺
12) Aren't you tired of being nice? This is an excuse to rant.
He wasn't the worst guard!! All three had reasons for doing what they did and arguably, pouf's motives were the most complex. Yes he did some pretty awful things, but he considered them to be the right thing to do without a doubt in his mind, all his actions were selfish in that they were based off his own feelings, but he did things ultimately for the king, so his actions also had an edge of selflessness to them as well. He was just. so much more than annoying and while his character development wasn't positive, it was still some pretty astounding growth; as an antagonist, he's also fairly plausible 👀 sometimes people just are manipulative, sometimes feelings do get the better of you, pouf just has all those factors amped up to 11 at all times so they're magnified. I have. a lot of thoughts on him, he interests me very much 😞👀🤔👀
#i am saying so much!! he is very meaningful to me!!#he resonates with me on a weirdly intimate level and while i still don't totally know how to take that#i suppose it's pretty neat nonetheless; i have MANY thoughts about him and i love being able to share them lmao#ty for the ask!!!! ❤💕#lovebug#asks
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an insanely long crazy-ass post about the dollars trilogy, I’m so sorry y’all
I FOUND THIS POST. I DID IT. I FOUND IT. JESUS. I spent the entirety of my yesterday searching for it.
I’m going to tag everybody who participated in this discussion and whose posts I‘ve found while searching for this discussion on the off-chance that they still might be interested in, yeah, discussing these films.
@clinteastwood-blog @geekboots-blog @istadris @sybilius @bleak-nomads @thenotsobad-thebad-andtheugly @bloncos @mcicioni-blog @unrealthings @stephantom @colonelmortimer
Also, please feel free to ignore me and my analytical outburst if you don’t feel like talking about the films or talking about them with my crazy hyperfixated ass specifically, lol. I didn’t mean to be rude by calling you out of nowhere, it’s just that sometimes people get excited when there is an enthusiastic newbie in the fandom and gladly return to their beloved canons.
Anyway. The dollars trilogy.
I’ll start with The Good, the Band and the Ugly (and will probably make myself instantly unlikable by nitpicking things, (sigh)).
As stupid as it might sound – the film being an absolute masterpiece, a cultural milestone that is timeless, epic, work of genius, love it, will write and draw about it with pleasure etc. – I’m kind of inclined to find the GBU the weakest film in the trilogy storywise. Don’t get me wrong: the plot is interesting and strong, every scene is entertaining, smart, and instantly quotable… But.
There are a few things that make the story, taken holistically, weak to a degree, especially in contrast to the other two films. Now, let me explain my bold-ass claim.
The first reason I couldn’t even pinpoint for myself until my best friend asked me: yeah, it’s all cool and fun, but what has really changed at the end of the film? They stopped the battle/blew up the bridge (kudos for the pacifist message), they killed a few folks on the way including Angel Eyes, but what did the story amount to in the end? Was their relationship changed? Have they themselves learned something about life, universe and everything? Tuco is still on the rope, Blondie still shoots the rope. They both got their money, split it 50/50. Sure, now it’s an insane amount of money but will it make them reconsider their ways of life? I don’t know, and I don’t necessarily think so. They’re really back to square one. If you consider the graphic novel The Man With No Name canon, then (spoiler) Blondie gives his money away to help rebuild the monastery of Tuco’s brother, and Tuco himself doesn’t really invest his share in anything other than booze, and sex, and troubles, so. Then, Angel Eyes got killed off, but he had even less backstory/character arc than, for instance, Captain Clinton, not to mention that his image, as memorable as it was, kind of lacked certain complexity, so, does it really matter storywise (although he is a great, stylish character, but I hope that you get what I mean)? (Note: Angel Eyes should have been the film’s ultimate personification of the war (inhumanely ruthless, only interested in money, extremely goal-oriented etc.), which, the war, kind of is the main antagonist of the film if you think about it; but the way he was used in the plot, the way he acted, and was generally presented, communicated it only in a limited way, imo).
Everything about the adventure was fun, smart, entertaining, one of the best films ever made, I agree 100%, and I rewatched it with pleasure many times. But I believe that stories have to bring about some palpable change in their world in order for them to be successful and finished. The GBU, in my opinion, doesn’t do it because it doesn’t want to be a story-story, and it’s fine with just letting its characters exist in a magic Western/a cowboy fantasy/a fairy tale. And I guess it’s also one of the reasons why the story didn’t go anywhere from the GBU – there is nothing to add to a basis like that. And I can’t help noting that it’s super ironic that the only film in the trilogy that truly seems to be all about money-money-money has no “dollars” in its title.
Another thing that I think is super important: there is almost no female energy or presence in the film. And it’s not even a matter of representation that bugs me, although I think it’s very important. It just feels like there is a deficit of something vital that renders everything even sort of unrealistic. In AFOD we have Marisol and we have Consuelo Baxter, and they’re relevant for the plot, and they have goals, motivations… lines. In FAFDM we have Mary, who has only a few brief moments, but she’s memorable, endearing, and she has a small story/motivation of her own, and we also have Mortimer’s sister, who is EXTREMELY important, and who also isn’t just symbolic, she herself makes a plot-relevant decision on screen, although a really horrible one from my personal moral standpoint. In the GBU we have what? A prostitute that’s beaten up by Angel Eyes (I never watch this scene), another woman at the hotel where Blondie stays in that is shut up and called an old hag or something like it, and another woman that makes a comment about Tuco’s hanging. None of them are memorable or have motivations on their own, and to me it makes the film lacking some really important counterpoint in terms of dynamics etc.
And nobody needs me to describe all the things that the film is awesome at because everybody knows that the film is one of the best films ever made, so painfully gorgeous that it’s difficult to praise it. So, I’ll move on to the other two films but will briefly talk about Tuco and Eli Wallach.
Eli Wallach is considered one of the best actors ever to appear on film for reason, so, I’ll just say about my personal impressions from his performance: he really made me emphasize with Tuco. His acting is incredibly rich, nuanced, concentrated, and, imo, just leaves you no choice but to think of Tuco as a real complex human being, not a film character. And Tuco is a superb character. Over the course of the story he gets to be loathsome, humane, funny, silly, terrifying, and cunning, - often all those at the same time. That’s one hell of a captivating character who’s just very, very interesting to watch and to analyze, regardless whether you like him or not.
Then, we have A Fistful of Dollars. I’m a huge fan of classic adventure stories that are gen, plot-driven, and have smart main characters figuring out a way to get what they want without being destroyed by other characters for wanting or trying to get it in the first place. I think it’s very difficult and very rewarding to write a good story in this genre. AFOD is exactly this kind of story, and this kind of stories is only as good as their protagonists’ maneuvers are. And Joe is, like, a tactical genius (the barrel! the fire!). And it’s much better to rewatch the film to remind yourself of how smart he is than have me talking about it, so.
But apart from that he is also humanized by his deeply personal motivations that appear completely irrational especially in contrast to his clever manipulations of the Baxters and the Rojos. And he doesn’t do it egotistically, to “get the girl,” which wouldn’t make him particularly sympathetic one way or another. Sure, he makes a good buck at the end, but his primary motivation still is justice for Marisol and her family (and then protection of his friend). Additionally, Joe gets his fair share of punishment for providing said justice, which further humanizes him and kind of makes you worry about him. And Silvanito with his scolding, humor, and skepticism helps with it a lot, too.
And then, there is the fact that the film wants the audience to either want to be Joe or want to be with him, sometimes both at the same time. Everybody on screen is a single Joe’s wink away from swooning because how he practically oozes charisma (only Silvanito is immune to his charms). I can’t blame them, though.
And I also want to point out the last lines of the film: Joe says that he doesn’t want to get involved into politics because that would be too much for him, and I think that it’s very fitting. The film just showed how cool he is, but he knows his limits, and he knows that he operates on a different plane.
So, all in all, it’s a masterfully done story.
Finally, we have For a Few Dollars more. I love all three films, but FAFDM is my favorite, there’s no doubt about that. I’ll start with the fact that it’s perfectly structured and perfectly balanced. We have three big players, Mortimer, Manco, and Indio, and the film shows how dangerous and how smart each of them is, so that the conflict between them ends up being very, very suspenseful. Not to mention the fact that it takes Manco and Mortimer almost 40 minutes, I think, to finally properly meet – by that time we are already speculating who will be the winner in the end, how will they react to each other, how will they interact, how will they work together etc. We get to know them quite well first, and then their relationship allows us to explore their characters even deeper through their interactions, their differences, and their similarities. For some time, storywise they become a single unit. While the story of Indio’s assault on Mortimer’s sister is revealed parallel to the plot.
Indio himself is terrifying as hell without being cartoonish. He is a really dangerous, broken man that is also methodical, smart, and ruthless. He is so bad that he kills the opponent’s family just to make him bitter enough to draw on him. And he is so bad that he is okay with killing off his own gang.
Speaking of which, Indio’s gang is colorful. He has interesting interactions with them at the beginning, in that church. And Klaus Kinski made his Wild stand out to me. I swear, the moment he almost cries in that saloon when Mortimer takes away his cigar, I feel bad for him every single time. And when he recognized Mortimer, it was tense. He even had a cool witty one-liner after Mortimer said that he should come to him in ten minutes to help him light that match and smoke: “In ten minutes, you’ll be smoking in hell!”
By the way, Indio’s tendency to get unnecessarily physical with his gang looks even more unnerving when he touches Manco to check his wound/shares a smoke him with some clearly visible eroticized subtext, which gets even creepier when you realize that he is a rapist. I swear, I was worried about Mortimer when I saw the film for the second time – that is even though I knew the plot – because Manco brought up that family resemblance between Mortimer and his sister, and we all know what Indio did to her.
What else? I could bring up all sorts of things, the action, the final duel, the small smart details that allow the plot to happen the way it happens (e.g. how Manco manages to hide the bag with all the money on that tree before Indio’s gang capture him and Mortimer – only to re-collect that bag at the end of the film), the humor, the street kids and all the other cool-cool secondary characters (Joseph Egger’s informer probably is my favorite), the opening sequence and the title card (oops, already rambled about this one) really, anything and everything including the perfect chemistry between Manco and Mortimer.
But I’ll just say that the music in this film is special to me. Every single composition by Ennio Morricone is special, unique, memorable, and intriguing, it’s true, and so it feels redundant and banal to say something like this. The Ecstasy of Gold is almost extraterrestrial, the main theme of Two Mules For Sister Sara imitates actual mule sounds, how genius is that, etc., and you must be dead to not be enticed and mesmerized beyond words by the main theme of the GBU, which is a hymn of all spaghetti Westerns now, a universal call for adventure (I feel like a bad person saying this, but I’ve always wanted to joke that Ennio put sexy back into the “waah-waah”… no, I regret nothing).
BUT. To me personally, the music in FAFDM is as personal as the film itself, and dare I say even more important to the story than in the GBU, despite the theme of the GBU being a kind of Greek choir throughout the film. The personalized sounds for Manco and Mortimer accentuate their personalities to the point where they almost create a reflex in you. The pocket watch chime is literally part of the story and plays a huge, crucial role in the plot! And it’s decidedly one of the saddest musical scores I’ve ever heard. It’s minimalist, mournful, and yet also nostalgically bittersweet. It feels like a reminder that there’s no going back whatever that might mean in the actuality. And the famous moment where Manco asks Mortimer whether his question was indiscreet and Mortimer says that the answer could be… I feel personally touched whenever I watch the scene. For me, it doesn’t feel like just an amazing scene, it triggers some deep emotion that is hard to express and almost gives me the urge to cry. Something along the lines of respectful and compassionate “I’m sorry that it happened to you,” “I’m sorry that I can’t help you.” The feeling of personal tragedy is conveyed infinitely better than a three-volume backstory ever could.
And then, there is this huge potential for all the stories about Manco, and Mortimer, and Blondie, and Tuco, and Angel Eyes, and even Joe to explore... Well, I better stop here.
So, yeah. It turned out to be a crazy long post, and I‘m grateful to anybody who reads it till the end. And if you haven’t watched these movies please do. Cheers.
#the dollars trilogy#dollars trilogy#spaghetti western#sergio leone#clint eastwood#lee van cleef#eli wallach#the gbu#the good the bad and the ugly#for a few dollars more#a fistful of dollars#joe#manco#blondie#colonel douglas mortimer#angel eyes#tuco#klaus kinski#out loud#the spirit of the west#ennio morricone#two mules for sister sara#the man with no name#mantimer#mancomer#blonco
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About Me
Aliases: Specter/Spectre
Age: 17
Pronouns: They/them (or she/her if a close friend)
Note: Do not call me queer. I don't think it's a slur and I don't like people who think of it as such, but I don't want to be called weird or anything that is synonymous to it for my identity. Just call me LGBTQ+.
You can tag my gifs and memes and stuff as "me" or "kin" or whatever, but please don't tag any of my drawings or writing as such. I'm not against kin/soulbonding, but I'm not comfortable with people basically putting their entire identity into content that I'm already insecure about.
I'm generally a very angry, aggressive, and bitchy person so if that bothers you.. don't follow.
My trigger tag format is #___ tw. I tag negativity with #specternegativity.
More below the cut.
I don't really have a DNI anymore since it was long as hell and changed every day, so I just block if you're a scumbag. Proshippers, TERFs, prolifers, truscum, people who defend AO3 allowing child porn + racism on their site, and kink blogs are blocked on sight. No exceptions. No, I don't care how much or how little you post about it. I don't care how old you are either (i'm looking at the underage proshippers, being a minor doesn't excuse you from saying it's okay to sexualize minors). If I'm aware you are one, you're getting blocked. Please ask to follow if you are a Catholic, that religion is one of the biggest causes of my PTSD.
Don't interact with me if you post untagged NSFW. I'm a minor, creep.
Neo-Nazis, other fascists, and almost all communists (y'all caused the deaths of millions no matter what you say) will also be blocked. Fuck y'all.
Don't follow if your DNI just says "basic DNI criteria." That doesn't tell me shit.
Ask to follow if you're 30+. You're way over my age and that makes me uncomfortable.
Under 13s can follow but please don't try to message without permissions.
Do not ask me for a selfie or you will be blocked.
I rarely follow back. It's nothing personal, I just like to keep my dash clean-ish.
I don't care if you like/reblog spam me. I have my notifications off, go wild.
If you have a problem with swearing or all caps, please don't follow. I swear and talk in all caps a lot, and it's tedious to tag a post every time I say "shit" in it. I'm up for tagging other triggers, but I'm not tagging swearing or all caps.
Tag alcohol/drugs, incest, and pedophilia or else you'll be blocked. I have a catch all tag (#specter go away) if you wanna use that instead, but I doubt you do, so just tag your shit lol
I sometimes yell about how annoying adults (mostly like.. 25-40 year olds) are on this blog because I have awful experiences with them. Blacklist #oldie beef if you don't want to see that, and if that doesn't suffice, go away lol
Old URLs: chilling-in-the-distortion-world
I'm in the PST/PDT timezone.
Sexuality: Bisexual
Race: Mixed (black, indigenous, white)
Country: Canada (no I don't live in Ontario LOL)
Political opinion: Left-wing, heavily against communism and fascism alike.
Languages: English, French (at a high education school level)
Not So Fun Facts
DO NOT CALL ME PET NAMES. IT IS A HUGE TRIGGER FOR ME AND IF YOU DO IT ON PURPOSE OR 3+ TIMES I WILL BLOCK YOU.
I have 2 dogs
I hyperfixate on Pokemon a lot. Particularly Palkia. If you have a problem with that because you're a crazy Dialga/Giratina simp that can't stand people preferring the "penis dragon," go away lol
I play the trombone
I'm a youngest sibling
I hate eggs
I fucking hate most adults.. like they genuinely make my blood boil.. y'all can start lecturing minors about respectful behavior when you stop making fun of teens for their interests, intruding on minor-oriented spaces, sexualizing minors, etc.
I've been a Pokemon fan since I was around 3- my first game was Pokemon Sapphire.
My personal favorite generations are 4 and 7, but I think Gen 5 is objectively better than Gen 7. Gen 4 and 5 are at about the same level of quality imo
palkia's existence gives me serotonin
Making Dialga stans mad also gives me serotonin
Giratina is the only one of the creation trio that I have mildly mild feelings about
I don't actually hate Dialga I just pretend I do but Dialga is one of my favorite legendaries
Fandoms
Pokemon (my blog is 80% Pokemon)
Destiny
Minecraft
RWBY
Wings of Fire
Warrior Cats
Vocaloid
My Sideblogs
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Do you mind if I ask why you dont post about Eric anymore?
I do feel like saying that I still do. Just not as much anymore. But I get what you’re saying, and the short answer is that I outgrew it a bit.
The long answer (that kinda doubles up as my Tumblr Origin story too) is that I knew Eric had found success in the Premier League & England NT after he left Sporting, but I had no idea that he was one of the most popular players, and half of one of the most popular ships on Tumblr’s football fandom. Hell, I didnt even know such a fandom existed. So when I first found out about it, I became instantly obsessed. Our Eric? A fangirl’s dream? Seemed crazy and not like the type of thing that happens to players who leave our Academy.
So I dig deep into his and Deledier’s tags. I started following blogs. I liked all the posts, so that I could look at them over and over. Until one day I decided to reactivate this blog and slowly but surely join this fandom. This was all post WC 2018, when the Premier League fandom was thriving, but Eric not so much. I learned about most of his interviews and adventures after they had happened, as he recovered from many injuries and illnesses. I became very emotionally invested in his recovery and I overall, I think the whole thing consumed me before I even had time to ask myself why Eric Dier was even my favorite.
Because the truth is, while there’s a looooooooot of things I like and admire about him, objectively speaking I don’t think he’s my number one at any of them. He’s not my favorite player or former Sporting player; not my favorite leader; not the one I admire the most off pitch; not even the one I find the most attractive. And the the thing is, being in the fandom, meant that I found others who did fill those categories for me. Players and leaders I admired more, players whose interviews and life off the pitch I was more captivated by.
I remember talking about this with @manuelmueller, who assured me that our faves find us, and not the other way around. And while that made sense to me at the time, I guess the realization always stayed with me...
Simultaneously, 3 things happened:
1) I progressively stopped caring about Spurs after Poch left
2) I started to realize that I dint really relate or felt connected to Dele outside of the jokes and banter he shared with Eric. Nothing against, just nothing particularly “pro” either. So I unfollowed him on social media, stopped keeping up with his life and blogging about him so much.
3) Over the summer the Deledier fandom became the center of a lot of drama that I just didnt vibe with and I decided I needed to step away from all of that. I unfollowed most Deledier blogs, stopped sharing Deledier content, and even deleted the “Deledier in 2020″ posts I had on my drafts, as a follow-up to the retrospective I’d done in 2019 (sorry to anyone who liked and supported those, btw). Now, why am I mentioning Deledier, you ask? Because like I stated above, Eric and Deledier had always gone hand in hand for me, when it comes to fandom. So I think when I stepped away from one, it unconsciously led me to step away from the other a bit as well. If nothing else, because I started seeing less Eric content after that unfollowing spree.
I still see his face almost everyday on my dash, and some times I still feel the urge to hit the reblog button. But that initial hyper fixation, that need to reblog everything little thing about him, sometimes multiples times, is definitely gone. I do still love him and admire the way he lives his life, his sense of style, how close to his family he is, his weird Portuguese accent, how eloquent he can be, how he makes an effort to learn, what a good leader he is, etc.. And Im so happy to see him healthy and fit and thriving. But most of the time Im happy to feel all these things at a distance these days.
These things happen with fandom. Sometimes its hard to keep the hyperfixation for too long, so eventually we move on to other things that catch out attention more. And this has basically been a very, very long way of saying that
Anyway, thanks for asking. If you miss Eric content, there’s still plenty of lovely logs gushing about him on a daily basis
#OK lets just consider this my Origin Story#otherwise its just embarrassing how fucking long this got#lI just dont know how to give short answers ok?#Your fault for asking anyway - at this point you gotta know what to expect from me lol
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Achievements Unlocked?
The last decade has COMPLETELY shaped who I am now and the fact that it ends today and essentially sends me off into the next one where turning 30 is the end is something I can’t wrap my head around and not just bc it’s barely 9am as I’m writing it. Ten years hasn’t felt like ten years and all the shit that’s happened during those ten years feels like it’s happened in the last like,,, 3.
Basically this is just me going How The Fuck Did All Of This Happen In A Decade and highlighting the big things that shaped who I am now.
Uhhh this is long I’m gonna-
2010/2011 (Shit’s A Blur):
I started noticing aesthetic interests I had.
I developed my love for the outdoors and exploration.
I started realizing vaguely spooky things were really intriguing to me.
I got SUPER into Harry Potter.
Which lead to me creating my first two Ocs.
I started switching from drawing animals/landscapes to drawing people.
I made my first cluster of friends I hoped I’d have forever. (Spoiler alert: only still have one of em).
2012:
I started identifying with punk rock & emo culture/aesthetics.
I made my first cluster of online friends (Spoiler alert: don’t talk to any of em now)
I got into YouTubers.
I got into anime.
I made my first “blog.” It was a Facebook page for a fictional character.
I discovered my favorite band.
I made my first online friend I hoped I’d have forever (still have em so far!)
I met my future wife.
I started roleplaying with Ocs.
Which lead to making more.
I started drawing digitally using bases. Which started my improvement.
I made my own first little community via my FB page.
Which lead to an rp group of more friends I hoped I’d have forever (still got a handful of em!)
I discovered my other favorite bands.
I started using Skype.
I got into more anime.
My parents were officially fully separated.
Which began the very start of realizing my dad was verbally abusive.
Congrats Isa, You Need Glasses You Dumb Fuck. Hooray astigmatism.
I graduated 8th grade.
2013:
I was essentially forced to move in with my dad for high school.
I started high school.
Officially became total anime trash and started watching them like crazy.
I THINK I hit 100 Ocs at some point this year. Just kept makin them from here.
Met my first cluster of irl forever friends (spoiler alert: only have 1 now).
Learned having Ocs was Not Just An Isa Thing, Holy Shit I Thought I Was Just Weird.
Promptly fell in love with learning about other people’s Ocs.
Realized Wow, I Kinda Can’t Stand My Dad And I Don’t Trust Him.
Had my first boyfriend. *gag* He was nasty.
Experienced my first long distance relationship. It lasted 3 days.
2014/2015 (Shit’s Also Blurry):
Got another long distance boyfriend. First relationship I genuinely liked the person.
I realized talking multiple people through the lowest points of their lives and keeping them from harming themselves was a sign I should maybe get into psychology and do that as a job.
I started getting interested in researching mental disorders.
Realized Okay Yeah, I Lowkey Hate My Dad
Realized I had A Concerning Amount Of Symptoms Of Depression. Fuck.
Realized Huh, Girls Are Pretty Too,,,
My friend taught me about bi and pansexuality. Casually started identifying as pan. Didn’t know shit about LGBT+ stuff.
Was shown a video by my friend. Decided Wow I Really Like This Screaming Potato Guy.
Acquired one more forever friend I still have.
Got slapped in the face by Gravity Falls.
My mom moved out of the rural town I just spent the last like 8 Years Of My Own Character Development In, Dammit
I realized money and finances Fucking Sucks.
Had the,, probably worst year of my adolescence. Angry, depressed, sick of my dad. It was Not Great. Almost started self-harming, only didn’t because I’d be a hypocrite if I did after helping my friends stop doing it.
Homestuck invaded my life around here I think.
Decided I’m Gonna Live With My Online Friends One Day! (spoiler alert: nope).
Was kinda forced by my dad to move out of the apartment I lived in and therefore forced to transfer schools.
Got to meet my future wife irl for the first time. Wow that was,, so gay before we even realized.
Okay Hold On, This New School Is,,, Really Nice.
2016:
New school. New me. New friends. New everything. Fuckity shit fuck.
Okay wait they have an anime club like my other school did we good.
Met another two forever friends that I think really are forever friends now.
Angry Shitty Depression Time Died Down A Little.
Somehow learned about evilsonas. Huh, Does Jack Have One? ... Ok Cool, They’re All People’s Ocs. Meh.
Started learning how to drive. Oh My God This Is Fun.
Lost my second ever pet and was... very confused when I wasn’t as traumatized as I was the first time I lost a pet.
Boyfriend kinda Thanos snapped from existence bc his irl life was hectic.
Experienced what it’s like to have a friend that died.
Wow my irl best friend is hot. ... Okay I Think Boyfriend’s Absence Is Bothering Me. *proceeds to ignore that*
Gets into some more bands.
Knock Knock, You Have Separation Anxiety, Isa.
Finally decided to try out high school things like homecoming. Ooh That Was Actually Fun.
The beginning of the worst end to a friendship I’ve ever had starts. Not Handling It Well.
Discovered Fooster. Cue hyperfixation on new favorite YouTuber and more new friends.
Wait What The Fuck What Just Happened To Jack’s Camera,,,, OH MY GOD HE ISN’T-
HE IS. OH FUCK HE IS. MMMMHELLO KNIFE MAN.
Totally forgets he exists for the next like 10 months.
Realization I Really Fucking Love Halloween.
Discovered what asexuality is and immediately identifies because I thought I was just weird.
Hmm maybe I should start watching this Markiplier guy
Big Sad Times, My Friends Graduated. Next Year Gonna SUCK.
Tried out Dungeons & Dragons. Fuckin loved it.
2017:
Ah fuck I’m a senior in high school this is gonna be a trip.
Discovered I like photography.
Literally where did this school year go it’s so blurry.
Was convinced to end the relationship with boyfriend. He’s still a good bean.
Hey uhhhh online best friend do u big gay.
WE big gay.
Found a book I really like that isn’t Harry Potter, damn it’s about time.
Ok But This Book Really Fucked Me Up, I Love It.
OH FUCK WAIT I’M GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh that wasn’t so bad.
Actually had to be PUSHED by my friends to have my first kiss with my girlfriend at my graduation party because I was too busy going [dkasjdjf] about having her physically in my presence at all.
First super memorable vacation. Wow I Fucking Love Traveling.
Got to meet another online friend!! I am,, incredibly lucky about being able to do that, this was like the 4th friend I got to meet.
[That one motion blur conspiracy theorist meme] SABRINA IM TELLING U JACK IS UP TO SOMETHING HIS TWITTER IS FUCKY
Gets punched in the throat with Kill Jacksepticeye on the way home from vacation and remembers how much I fucking love Anti
TIME FOR COLLEGE. I made a mistake.
TIME FOR COMMUNITY COLLEGE. Much Better.
Friend I Still Have From High School 1/2 introduced me to Bendy and the Ink Machine. HYPERFIXATION TIME BABEY.
Let’s,,, lets try Tumblr. Jack exists there a lot. And so does good art of everything I’m interested in.
Wait Who’s This Baby With The Mustache, JACK EXPLAIN
Okay there’s More Going On Here, lets get active in the community.
WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SECURITY FOOTAGE. THIS IS SKETCH. THIS ISOH MOTHERFUCKER ITS ANTI
Isa: Become Theorist
The rest is history, really, all stuff I’ve posted about on here. xD
And knowing me I’ve left out other highlighted bits but remembering all of this is,,, really exhausting lmao, I’m surprised I jotted down as much as I did in Relatively Chronological Order.
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Mac rambles about how much she loves everyone...
I have been writing fan fiction for about three years now. It has been a process. A process of growth and change. I have had three birthdays, graduated high school, and met some of the most amazing people in those three years. I am always going to be incredibly thankful for the opportunities I have had that were made possible by this website (however hellish it may be). I have learned so much about myself and gained so much insight about writing and what I love doing. I am a better person for it. I know.
I took almost a five month break from writing. I didn’t really realize it until I went on AO3 and noticed how much of a gap there was. I didn’t intend for it to happen. But it did. During that time, I was miserable. That was probably due to all the other things that were happening in my life at the time, but the correlation was there. After my unexpected five month hiatus, Branjie happened. It was a hyperfixation for sure, as I was, and am, going through a LOT personally. But it made me write again.
I opened some old files and looked at my abandoned WIPs and finally, finally, after so long, had a passion to write again. I have been writing a lot of Branjie recently, and I will probably keep writing a lot of Branjie. For those of you who haven't followed me long, you may not know, but a few years ago, all I wrote was angsty Shalaska. To the point where my major constructive criticism was to write something new. I have a feeling Branjie might be my new Shalaska. But this time, imma try to keep spicing it up every now and then. (But what can I say, I love me some angsty homos)
Recently, I went and wrote a fic more in my own style and less in a cohesive storytelling perspective. It was not technically perfect, and I was super hesitant to post it, but with support from some incredible writers (and friends), I posted it. I got an overwhelming amount of positive feedback and it really meant the world. You see, that style is how my brain works, so getting such positive feedback was like people saying that how my brain worked was ok. That it was beautiful and poetic. And not crazy and a hassle the way I sometimes see it as. So, it meant so much more than you know to hear such lovely things about my brain.
But anyway, that was a long winded way of saying: I’m happy to be back, and I am so INCREDIBLY greatful for all the amazing people in this community. Here are a few shoutouts:
@mia-ugly - So, idk if I ever told you this, but Elastic Heart was one of my biggest inspirations to write Branjie. I read it, and it just made me FEEL things. It had been a LONG while since any fanfic made me feel. But you managed to do it so beautifully, and it all felt so right. I am so incredibly grateful to have read your fic when I did. Thank you for being so incredibly inspirational!
@momsthetic - All your beta-ing and support for the past few fics I’ve shared has meant the world. I love your writing style and literally everything else about you. You are so supportive and kind. I worship the ground you walk on, truly I do.
@artificialqtip - You are so supportive, bro. I love your comments and how one time you literally commented “ew, you bitch” on a fic and literally laughed out loud. No but for real, your support means so much, bro. I cannot tell you how amazing your writing is, and how it inspires me everyday to be better. I love you, bro.
@pink-grapefruit-cafe - My best friend! Truly a light in my life, you have no idea. I adore you more than words can say. You are such a talented writer, and such an amazing person. I’m so happy to have you in my life, and to call you my bestie!
@formercongressman - My congressman! First off, Malamente is a masterpiece, but you already knew that. I adore you, and the way you write. So jot that down. Also, every comment you leave makes me smile like an idiot, and it means so much coming from a gift such as yourself.
@artificialmeggie - You will never know how much you have impacted my writing. Your constant supportive comments, and grammar knowledge have been the most amazing thing to be on the receiving end of. You just give so much of yourself to everyone and I am truly enamored of your confidence. It is always a joy to see your comments. And you are the captain of the Ninex ship, so thanks for bringing that to light. I just love you so much...I have no words other than THANK YOU.
@staray512 - Your comments on everything MAKE MY FUCKING DAY. You have no idea how many times I have read your comment on Winner Winner (and all your other comments). Whenever I feel uninspired or down on myself, I look at something lovely you have said to me, and I immediately get so damn happy. You are such an amazing light, and I am so grateful for all your lovely comments <3
@freykitten - We have spoken here and there, but my god, you are one of the sweetest humans alive, I swear. You are so lovely to talk to, and such a talent. I swear no one can make me so emotional in so few words! You are a blessing to this fandom (and me).
@youre-a-kite - First of all, your art is AMAZING and it is really unfair that you are both a really talented writer and a really talented artist. When I say I have re-read all your fics many times over, I am not exaggerating. The way you write makes so much sense, and every time you update I get so fucking excited. You have so many gifts and I am so happy you have shared them with your adoring public (me).
@theartificialdane - You and I go way back to Galactica (which is still a masterpiece by the way). Your characterization and attention to detail in every fic makes me truly believe everything you write. You have such a way with words and personalities that it all feels real. You know I adore you, but here’s another reminder: you are so fucking talented, and I am so proud of all the worlds you have created. I truly am always going to adore you and your writing. That’s a promise.
@plastiquetiaras - You just, ugh, write the way to my heart. I know we haven’t spoken much, but I want you to know that you are amazing and I adore Game of Survival! You are a blessing. Your blog is amazing. You are amazing. God tier content from you!
@multifandomgeek - The Commuters series is by far one of my favorite things I have ever read. The characterization is spot on, and I accept everything you write as cannon. You are so sweet and so helpful. I’m in awe of you, I really am.
@silverhytes - The perfection that is Foreign Heights is beyond words. I swear every time I see you’ve updated I squeal on the inside. Your writing is so unique and so incredibly spot on...I cannot put into words how talented you are, and how much I adore your writing!
Thank you to all the people who comment on AO3 and AQ as well. You all are stars and you have no idea how much it means to me!
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I was tagged by @queer-lodgingss @reshirement and @lordoftherazzles for this, thank you! (sorry for taking so long I’m lazy)
1. why did you choose your url?
Idk, sunnybits was my AO3 account name before I joined tumblr so I just stuck with it. The name literally just comes from me sticking random words together lol and I might actually change it soon... but I like the ‘sunny’ part specifically because I like the mental image of radiating sunshine and light :D I think it’s pretty cool that I’ve been able to become comfy with it as a secondary name <3
2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.
I have my art side blog because idk, art blog reasons at @sunniscribbles
Also I’ve never talked about it but I don’t mind introducing y’all to my soft cottagecore-esque sideblog @sunny-and-bee :) it’s just a nice positive space I started with my friend @killerbeestan and it’s pretty inactive compared to my main, lol. (But I still try to keep it up at least one or two posts a day)
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
I made this account on August 10th of 2020, apparently, so almost a year now! That’s not a lot compared to some people lol but it’s still crazy it’s been that long already. However, it should be noted that I stalked the tags for my various fixations very often long before I actually made an account, so I’ve been floating around for a little while.
4. do you have a queue tag?
Nope, and I still don’t really get queues or queue tags, so. I use my queue occasionally for spam but like... with my little goblin brain if I see something cool it’s going on my blog NOWS >:(
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
I mean, come on, look at me. I’m obsessed with many fandoms, this is easily the best place to talk about them and I really didn’t have a lot of irl friends who know what I was talking about in my endless hyperfixation rambles. (But they are amazing and still listen to my rambles today.) Plus, as an artist I wanted to be able to contribute, especially for like Ninerose and whatnot, because those poor fans don’t get a ton of content!
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
(I feel like this is meant for people who have consistent layouts, lmao) Currently I wanted a Loki layout to honor the show coming out very very soon!!! :DD
7. why did you choose your header?
Same reason, and it’s aesthetic.
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
I believe my post about the new Venom movie giving us gays everything we want.
9. how many mutuals do you have?
About 23, apparently? I haven’t actually counted until now, I thought it would be more lmao.
10. how many followers do you have?
I hit 300 today! :D (Who knows how, but I love you guys)
11. how many people do you follow?
86, I feel like that’s not a lot but I’m very picky about following people.
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
Who... hasn’t? This is tumblr? Yes, several.
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
*sweats* A - a normal healthy amount, I’m sure.
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
Once early on in my tumblr existence I suddenly discovered a mutual I had been talking to was a pan/ace exclusionist and I tried to argue with them for a while before I just blocked them. But yeah, that was nasty and made me really uncomfy :// I haven’t gotten into any arguments since that, thank god, I don’t enjoy nor have the energy for fighting with icky people.
15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?
Especially for serious moral stuff, they make me pretty uncomfortable. I usually support the idea presented or want to help whatever cause they are explaining, but I feel like some people forget that while the suffering of people in the world is obviously important, tumblr is literally just a place to have fun and create your own space that makes you happy, and guilt-tripping people is just unnecessary. Besides, there are a lot of minors on here (including me) that genuinely can’t do much to help and really don’t need to be worrying about the weight of the entire world at once. (Sorry for getting deep oof)
16. do you like tag games?
YES I LOVE THEM! I don’t always have the energy for them, so I may not always do them soon or at all (see this game, lol) but never hesitate to tag me!
17. do you like ask games?
YES I LOVE THOSE EVEN MORE I LOVE ASKS
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
Idk??? But there are definitely a few I consider the cool mutuals I want to impress, lol.
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
Not, like, romantically, no. But again, there are definitely a couple I consider Very Cool and being praised by them in the tags feels akin to being patted on the head affectionately, I beam every time.
20. tags?
Not today, but anyone can do this if they want! (literally you can tag me in it and say I tagged you, I would love to see it)
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