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inosukeslefttoe · 3 years

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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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fallout--alley--youth--zone · 3 years

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I have a doc dedicated to a "Taegan Smith dies five years later and Caine is raised with Sam" au but I dont think I'll ever write it so here's some excerpts of it.

Personalities can grow and change over time and are impacted by our environment, but they are also inherent to some degree. My personal headcanons are that Caine became so manipulative bc of his upbringing- basically raised in an environment where weakness would be used against him and he couldn't just ask for help, he learned to get it other ways. That, mixed with good 'ol rich white boy entitlement, selfishness, and maybe ASPD/NPD turned him into the boy we see in the Gone series.

(Side note: ASPD and NPD are real and heavily stigmatized disorders that often stem from childhood trauma and are comorbid with anxiety and depression. People with these disorders can and do live fulfilling lives, show compassion and kindness, etc. Headcanoning villainous characters with these disorders or writing people with these disorders as evil is just as bad as writing any other minority/mental illness that way. While some of them can be awful, the vast majority are just people trying to live their lives.)

So in a world where Caine is raised side-by-side with Sam, he's still a dick. Not evil, just a selfish asshole.

His name is still Caine bc he's trans in this AU 💕

And he still has mommy issues! He either overheard his mom calling him evil/talking about adoption or found out another way. Take your pick.

That being said, he and Sam do have a light-heartedly antagonistic relationship that absolutely SIMMERS with jealousy and tension under the surface.

In this AU, Sam burns Tom's finger/misses and melts the knife or something, and Caine takes the fall for him. Blah blah blah Caine gets sent to Coates.

At Coates, things go mostly according to canon, though here Caine relies more-so on his telekinesis and book smarts than his charisma to get ahead. He's not a bully in the sense that he beats people up in the halls but he doesn't go out of his way to stop it bc he's a coward with a crush on Diana, who also lowkey encourages bullying.

He hosts "training sessions" for the other freaks. He's not, uh, friends with Drake exactly, but they hang around each other?? Caine tolerates him bc he's useful, Drake stays around to keep an eye on the freaks. This strains Caine's relationships with the other freaks and especially Dekka.

When the FAYZ happens and Drake suggests they cement the freaks, Caine considers it for .5 seconds then snaps to his senses and is like "no wtf?".

Little does he know Drake is smarter than he looks and knocks his ass out before Caine can even lifts his hands. There's a huge fight and long story short Drake runs into the night with his tail between his legs, where he'll continue to cause problems for the rest of the series.

The one who saved Caine is Dekka, because there WILL be a Caine & Dekka friendship in this au.

The Coates Squad(TM) is now Dekka, Caine, and Diana. Caine and Dekka don't even like each other, but the other freaks listen to Dekka and the non-freaks listen to Caine, so.

They come to PB in cars a day or two earlier than in canon but Caine doesn't make a big speech. Instead he and Dekka talk to Sam, who picks out and gathers the "PB leaders".

THEN he makes his speech. (Don't worry Dekka is in the background rolling her eyes the entire time.)

Idk what happens next.

But there is this note in the doc: "Caine uses his telekinesis to throw Sam in the ocean and play with the littles."

#gone series #caine soren #gone tv #temple brothers au #sam temple

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heloflor · 3 years

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As Time Passes Prologue : My Brother, part 1

AO3 link ; Prologue 1 (The Estate)

A collection of scenes from Vinnie’s early life. From his younger years as a toddler to his last years as a teen. From a life of fear to a life of uncertainty. From an abused child relying on the only good people in his life to a young adult determined to make things right for them.

TRIGGER WARNING : child abuse, violence, depression, mentions of drug and alcohol, infidelity. Basically anything that goes with messed up abusive parents. And to that regard, this fic is NOT made to romanticize abuse or mental illness ! There’s also a moment in part 2 mentioning a dystopic future with the urbanization of the world and its consequences on every species (it’s only one part and you see it coming). This also means mentions of animal abuse and LITERAL animal genocide !!

Notes : Well, this took 8 months longer than expected…

Seriously. I started working on this chapter BEFORE “The Estate”, only deciding later to start with Cav’s backstory because it makes more sense given what I intend to write for chapters 3 and 4.

Though, that chapter is very, VERY long so that also explains the delay. And even despite the size, I feel like I tried to cram in too much elements and underdeveloped some stuff as a result. Like, that whole thing could be a fic in itself if I had enough ideas to fill the holes there and there.

On a lighter note, during that “hiatus”, I read the book “Wanderers” by Chuck Wending and one interlude gave me the idea of putting dates at the beginning of each new part of the story, which is going to come in VERY HANDY for the story (also the fact that the fic is called “As Time Passes” makes it even better).

As for the chapter itself, let’s just say that, after giving an idea of what Cavendish’s life used to be, now it’s time to show Dakota’s. Though, this chapter will be much longer and goes onto basically his entire life before B.O.T.T.. There are also a lot of dark stuff (as said in the trigger warning) because apparently my brain still hasn’t gotten past that teenager need to make anything as messed up as possible.

Regarding the sibling OCs, fun fact : the idea of Dakota having older siblings came partly from Tumblr and partly from my wish to have Dakota be an uncle due to how much the guy seems to love kids (but I don’t see him have his own, for reason that will be talked about in the main fic). Then, while listening to random songs and coming up with Dakavendish animations in my head (yeah I’m THAT kind of weirdo), I ended up listening to “A Guy Like You” from Disney Hunchback and suddenly Dakota had three siblings. Then all that needed to be done was give them a personality and choose which one would have a kid. And then make them all queer because I spend too much time on the internet.

Another thing about them, to make it easier at the beginning : there are four. And for the age-gap, as an example, the fic starts with the ages being 13 (Enzo “Enzie”), 9 (Bettina “Bettie”), 5 (Donatello “Donnie”) and 3 (Viviana “Vivie”/Vincenzo “Vinnie”).

(side-note about the writing at the beginning : using the wrong pronouns for a character is MUCH harder than I thought it would be)

Btw I don’t know how to draw so instead, if you want to see how the siblings look like, I made them in Miitopia (don’t ask). Here’s the link for it (just ignore my ramblings in this...).

Also, while the idea of him having siblings comes partly from my brain, the idea of Dakota being Italian is 100% from Tumblr and AO3 with like half the Dakavendish fandom who seems to follow this headcanon. Hell, I even have an irl friend who told me Dakota gives them a European vibe while I was telling them that one of the reasons people saw him as trans was his height.

(and I guess you could say the same thing about him having heterochromia and being colorblind ; all the credit for these two ideas goes to the fandom)

Btw, despite them being Italians, the dialogue is in english. In future chapters tho, depending on the character’s POV, some dialogue will either be in Italian or in English in italics.

And fun fact : while googling Italian names to help me name these characters, I discovered that there’s an Italian name that’s “Baldassare” and this is 100% how Dakota’s siblings and nephew/nieces would call Cavendish.

And one last “””fun””” fact : the character of Enzo is partly inspired by a guy I know who, by the age of 6, was the one to wake up, dress, feed, bring to school and overall raise his 4 younger siblings. And if you’re wondering, the guy is 23 now and is doing pretty fine (much, MUCH better than the shit I plan for my OC here). And no, the name of the OC isn’t inspired by this guy. I looked up random Italian names for each sibling + Vinnie’s dead name.

Anyways, onto the fic now. Enjoy !

January 10, 2134

The morning started with their usual routine.

Vivie was sleeping soundly, her brother Donnie by her side, until their oldest brother Enzie came to wake them up. Vivie could hear her sister Bettie grumble, not helped by Enzie urging her to get up. He would always claim that, unlike the other two, she needed to be ready early. They didn’t go to school at the same hours. First it was Bettie, then Donnie, and finally Vivie was brought to the nursery.

Enzie also went to school. Bettie once said that Enzie always turned out late because his school started before them. But Enzie always insisted to take care of them first. The older brother didn’t like letting them alone with Mamma. And, truth be told, Vivie didn’t like it either.

Once Enzie reached their bed, Donnie pretended to still be sleeping and made snoring noises. Sometimes, Vivie would do the same. Today though, she just giggled, listening to her brothers argue.

She couldn’t open her eyes. The light hurt her. So she waited for her brothers to be done, for Enzie to focus his attention to her and give her her sunglasses.

Then, the four kids sat on the beds to have their breakfast, taking out the bags hiding under their beds. Years ago, way before Vivie was born, Enzie had decided that they should all hide their fruits and snacks in the bedroom instead of in the kitchen where Mamma could take them, and the others obeyed.

Enzie was always worried about food. Even though Mamma brought enough for them to eat everyday if they shared in small portions, Enzie insisted that it was never enough, that kids like them needed more than that. He always told them that, if they found something to eat, they should eat until they were full and share if some was left. As a result, Bettie and Donnie often brought food back from their lunch at school.

As for Enzie, how he always found something for the three of them was a mystery. Vivie had heard Bettie get angry at her brother more than once, accusing him of stealing food and talking about how he was going to end up in prison. But then Enzie would show what he got her, and she would stop yelling. But Vivie could see that she was still angry, and it made her sad too. Vivie heard that prison was bad, that the people who went left for a long time.

Vivie didn’t want Enzie to go to prison.

Who would take care of her, if Enzie was not here ?

…

Despite her young age, Vivie would sometimes feel bad for Enzie. He was very nice and always helped her when she was upset. But was anybody helping him ? Enzie slept on the scratchy couch in the living-room to let Bettie have her own bed. He refused to eat until his siblings ate enough. He helped Bettie with her homework before doing his. He never slept if one of them wasn’t, willing to tell as many songs and story as needed. He always went outside with them to watch over them. If one of them needed something from Mamma, he would talk to her for them.

Vivie couldn’t talk that well yet. While she knew a few words, she was said to be behind on language. But while she couldn’t communicate, she could observe.

When she was at the nursery, Vivie would see the other children, the other families. She was told about how a family worked.

The parents took care of the children. The parents fed the children, helped them with their homework, told them bedtime stories, watched over them, cared for them, have a bed for each one of them.

Mamma didn’t do any of this. She never did.

Mamma was just there, in the house, with them. Enzie told them not to talk to her. She could be dangerous when she was bothered.

And yet, she would go to them sometimes. She would go outside with them, just walking ahead as she brought Donnie and Vivie to the closest playground. She would mention them on the phone. Vivie even saw her go to Bettie’s school play once.

But the rest of the time, she would be lying down somewhere in “her side” of the house, glaring when any of her children would come close all the while holding one of those bottles Enzie completely forbid them to touch. Or she would be out of the house, especially at night, going to what Vivie supposed was her job.

So, since she was never there, Enzie took care of them.

It wasn’t normal. It wasn’t how the other children lived. Enzie was not an adult, at least Vivie didn’t think so. Bettie said he was as much of a child as she was.

But Vivie couldn’t do anything about it. As of right now, all she could do was finish her morning snack, brush her teeth, let Enzie dress her up and follow her older siblings as they packed for school, listening to the same instructions Enzie gave them each day : “Don’t go with any strangers.”, “Listen to your teachers.”, “Don’t get in trouble.”

Maybe it wasn’t normal, but it was all that Vivie knew. And at the very least, she supposed it was better than nothing.

---------------

October 30, 2134

Vivie didn��t understand how she ended up here, on the examination table of the nearest doctor. She had been in the bedroom, getting yelled at by Donnie for taking his clothes. She always liked his clothes more than her own. But when Enzie arrived to investigate the noise, a confusion happened.

Donnie complained that Vivie took his yellow shirt and his red pants. And while Vivie couldn’t lie about that, she insisted that everything she was wearing was of the same color and that Donnie was using two words that meant the same thing. While Donnie and Vivie went back and forth about colors, Enzie went to pick up a few clothes. He then quickly interrupted his younger siblings, sat Vivie down and asked her to tell him the color of each outfit.

The four years-old was confused but decided to comply. Describing blue shirts, purple costumes and pink underwear. But then, there was the color of the clothes she was wearing, a color Vivie had heard being called by three different names : yellow, red and green.

Each time the clothes would have this color, she would use one of those words randomly, getting several huffs from Donnie, making her feel like she was doing something wrong.

After a few more, the thirteen years-old asked Donnie to close the blinds and turn off every light, which the six years-old quickly did. Then, Enzie requested that his sister remove her sunglasses.

They tried his game again, leading to the same results. The girl started sniffing while twirling one temple of her sunglasses. Was there something wrong with her ? Were her eyes wrong again ? Enzie was quick to hold her and calm her down, singing her her favorite lullaby.

Next thing Vivie knew, she was walked to the hospital by her brother. There, a doctor tried to look at her eyes with a light, leading to a lot of struggling from the young child. He then followed with a guessing game with numbers hidden inside colored circles. It was only then that the doctor explained what was wrong with her.

He called it “color-blindness”. It meant that she didn’t see colors the same way other people did, the same way her siblings did. In his explanation, the doctor mentioned how it was incredibly rare for a girl to be colorblind without any sibling or parent being colorblind as well. Enzie replied that he never questioned his parents about it. And while Mamma seemed able to see colors just fine, the teen had no idea if Papà was the same as her.

But, in any case, there was a way to partially fix this.

The doctor excused himself for a minute, letting the anxious teen and the fidgety child alone. Enzie went to sit next to his sister, who was quick to jump on his lap. He ran a finger through the toddler’s curly hair and she pressed her head against his chest. She smiled, feeling peaceful and safe in his arms.

When the doctor came back, he was holding a small pair of glasses with orange lens, along with two identical balls. Enzie stood back up and the doctor gave the plastic balls to the toddler, telling her to raise her head so that he could put the new glasses.

Once Vivie opened her eyes with the new glasses in place, she found herself squeal in surprise.

The balls in her hands, they weren’t the same color at all ! And those colors…had she even seen them before ?!

While the doctor was talking to her brother, Vivie kept putting the glasses on and off, noticing the immediate difference in colors. How could this even be ?!

But before she could ask any question, Enzie gave her the other pair of sunglasses, took her in his arms, thanked the doctor and left the office.

Vivie seated herself in her brother’s arms, the movement from his walking slowly rocking her to sleep.

“Vivie ?”, the teen’s voice took away the fog in her mind.

“huh ?”

“Did you like seeing those colors with the new glasses ?”

“uh-huh.”, the toddler nodded.

“Do you want to have glasses like that all the time.”

“Yes !”, she replied, her head snapping away from Enzie’s shoulder.

“Then this Saturday we’ll got get you a pair. Okay ?”

“Okay !”

“Good. Now let’s go back home before Donnie or Bettie get on mamma’s nerves.”

As the teenager walked at a fast pace, a new question arose in his sister’s mind.

“Enzie ?”

“Yes ?”

“Do you…you will fall down for my new glasses ?”, the toddler asked full of worry. Bettie had told her the story of how she got her sunglasses. Apparently, she had refused to open her eyes as a baby and, everytime Enzie asked mamma to go see a doctor, she refused. She “didn’t care enough”, Bettie said. So Enzie decided to give her a reason to go, and jumped from a window, forcing mamma to bring him to the hospital, where the then-child was able to convince the doctor to help Vivie.

“Will I…oh ! Oh no, don’t worry !”, the teenager’s laugh didn’t do anything to ease Vivie’s worry. She pouted.

“Do not get hurt !”, she insisted.

“I promise you Vivie, we’re just going to go to a store. I…”, he looked away. “I can get the money for it…I mean…I’m sure mamma wouldn’t mind losing a few euros…”

“Mamma will help ? With no you falling ?”

“She will.”, Enzie assured. “And I won’t fall. Don’t worry about it, piccolina. Everything’s going to be alright.”

---------------

July 4, 2136

Vivie was hiding in a closet. She had done it again. She had taken Donnie’s clothes.

It was something she did a lot, something she had done for a long time now.

It wasn’t that she found it fun to annoy Donnie ! She just didn’t like her clothes. Bettie had tried to get her “good-looking girl clothes” with the little money they had for it, but Vivie couldn’t care less. She only wore the same few outfits, the ones that Bettie never called “girly”. The only “girly” thing she continuously wore was a heart-shaped pink hairclip, but only because it made her sister very happy.

She didn’t want “pretty girl clothes”, she liked Donnie’s clothes more, even if they were too big for her. She actually liked the size of these clothes, as she could flap her hands with the too-long sleeves of his winter shirts.

Sometimes, when Vivie wore his clothes, Donnie would just let it go and they’ll keep playing together. But other times, like today, Donnie got upset by it. And now, the seven years-old had gone to fetch their older brother.

So Vivie stayed hidden, not wanting to face Enzie’s anger. Las time she saw him, the fifteen years-old had been with Bettie, busy doing homework. And Enzie didn’t like being interrupted by their “small and stupid arguments”, as he once put it. Especially for homework. For the last year, he had been complaining more and more about how he never had the time to just sit down and work with three noisy kids running around and needing him left and right.

Still, it didn’t take long for the child to hear the sound of his footsteps getting louder and louder as he approached.

“Vivie !”, the older brother called.

“I’m not here !”, the five years-old replied. She heard her brother sigh.

“Vivie, come out there. We need to have a talk.”

“I don’t want to !”, another sigh.

“Vivie, I’m not mad at you. Just come out. I’m not going to yell.”

“...Promise ?”

“Promise.”

Tentatively, Vivie opened the closet’s door and caught sign of her brother. He was sitting on her and Donnie’s bed. As she opened the door a little more, he patted the space next to him.

She left the closet and went to sit on the bed. Enzie watched as the child scooted over towards him, looked at his face, scooted a little more, looked at him again and finally moved to sit on his knees.

“You want to talk ?”, Vivie asked.

The teen nodded.

“You’re not angry ?”

He shook his head. Vivie looked in front of her as she considered it. If Enzie wasn’t angry about the clothes, then why did he want to talk to her ? But her thoughts were interrupted by the fifteen years-old putting a hand in her hair, prompting his sister to snuggle against his chest.

“Polpetta ?”

“Yeah ?”

“Why do you keep stealing Donnie’s clothes ?”

“I don’t steal them.”, Vivie protested. “I wear them.”

“And why don’t you wear your clothes ? You don’t like them ?”, Enzie’s voice was calm and soft, though Vivie could still hear the sternness and tiredness his voice often carried.

The child shook her head as a reply.

“But you like Donnie’s clothes ?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you like them more than yours ?”

Vivie had to pause to think for a moment. With her worry from earlier and the drowsiness form feeling a hand play with her hair, she found it hard to think.

“Is it because of the colors ?”, Enzie continued. “Or the size ? Or is it because you have girl clothes ?”

“Yes ! That !”, she suddenly jerked.

“You don’t like girl clothes ?”

“Nuh-uh.”, she replied.

“Why not ?”

Vivie was back to thinking. Why didn’t she like girl clothes ? She knew she didn’t like it when Bettie called them girl clothes, but why ?

“Do you want me to tell you what I think ?”, Enzie asked with a smile. Vivie looked up at his face and the teen chuckled. “I think you don’t like girl clothes because you don’t like being a girl. Do you like being a girl ?”

Yet again, Vivie looked away with a frown as she tried to concentrate. Was it true ? Did she not like being a girl ?

Vivie didn’t like her girl clothes. She didn’t like people pointing at her and saying she was a girl. And everytime Bettie wanted to play with her, Vivie would refuse. She didn’t like playing dress-up with Bettie. She preferred to play marbles or yoyo with Donnie. Even at school, she tried and liked spending time with boys more than girls, even though the largest group of boys always rejected her.

But were all these feelings because she wasn’t a girl ?

“I dunno.”, she finally replied, looking at Enzie with a pleading look, as if her brother held all the answers.

“Let me put it that way.”, the teenager continued. “If you were a boy, would you be happy about it ? Just imagine yourself as a boy. With boy clothes. A boy’s voice. A boy’s name.”

Vivie did. She could picture herself among the other boys of kindergarten. She looked like them, talked like them, belonged with them. The thought made her smile. When she opened her eyes, she bounced, looking at her brother with a smile.

“I want to be a boy !”, she exclaimed.

“Are you sure ?”

Vivie nodded excitedly.

“Alright then.”, the teen shrugged. “Polpetta-to, since you’re so eager at the thought of being a boy, how about we got get the tablet downstair to find you an actual boy’s name ? And see if you like it ?”

Vivie jumped off of Enzie’s laps and ran downstairs, leaving the room before the teenager even had the time to stand up.

Half an hour later and the two siblings were still at the coffee table, Enzie reading through a list of names starting with the letter “v”. Vivie wanted a new name that sounded like her current one.

“Vittore ?”

“ummm. No.”

“What about Vladimir ?”

“…Maybe ?”

“We could call you Vladdie. Or Vaddie.”

“no.”

“Are you even sure you want a new name ? Maybe I was wrong earlier when I said you were a boy.”

“No ! You’re not wrong ! I’m a boy ! I want a boy’s name ! Just like you and Donnie !”

“Alright then.”, the teen sighed. He mumbled something.

“huh ?”

“Nevermind. How abou-“

“What are you two doing ?”, Vivie’s head perked up at the sound of Bettie’s voice. The eleven years-old was on top of the stairs, trying to look at the tablet over Enzie’s shoulder.

“Looking for a name for our little brother over here.”, the teen replied. “Where’s Donnie ?”

“In the bedroom.”, Bettie walked down the stairs. “You know Enzie, when I complained that Vivie acts like she wants to be a boy instead of being stuck as a girl, I was joking.”

“Maybe you were but he wasn’t. At least I think.”

he…their brother… Vivie liked being called that.

“Then…it looks like I don’t have a little sister after all.”, Bettie commented with a hint of sadness in her voice. This made Vivie frown. Sh-…He didn’t want to make his sister sad.

“Maybe not,”, the oldest brother defended. “but instead, you have a great little brother.”

“I guess…”, she went to stand near Vivie, her younger brother. “So,”, she continued. “you’re looking for a boy’s name ?”

“Uh-huh !”, the child replied.

“Found anything you like yet ?”

“We’re trying.”, Enzie replied, putting his head back onto the list.

With the teen’s attention away, Bettie turned back to Vivie.

“Say, once you’re done with that, how about we go return your clothes and buy you better ones ?”

“Yes !”, Vivie jumped in his seat. That’s when he remembered the hairclip he was still wearing. He took it off and presented it to Bettie. “For you.”, he explained. “I won’t wear it now. But you like it. So you should wear it.”

Bettie smiled. “Alright. Whatever you say, patatino.”, she looked at Enzie. “Found other names ?”

“You have Vivaldo, Vidone, Vezio, Vincenzo or Vincent in English,-”

“Vincenzo ?”, for some reason, the name stuck with him. Vincenzo…

“Do you like it ?”, Bettie asked. Vivie nodded. “You want to be called Vincenzo ?”

“I think so…yeah…yes ! I want to be Vincenzo !”

“Finally !”, Enzie sighed, dropping the tablet on the table. The two younger siblings just stared at him, until he glanced back and smirked. Bettie laughed.

“Let’s go return your old clothes, Vincenzo.”, the sister said, already on the move.

“Coming !”, the youngest sibling jumped to follow but was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. Enzie ruffled his hair with a smile.

“Hope you’re going to enjoy being a boy, Vinnie.”

When the evening came, there was one last thing to do.

Vincenzo…Vinnie was standing in the doorway, his fingers tapping the wall as he anxiously watched Enzie walking towards Mamma. The woman was in the kitchen, making herself one of those drink Enzie prevented them to touch.

“…Claudia ?”, the teen asked.

“You know better than to bother me, Enzo.”, Mamma replied in a sharp tone without looking up from her bottle. She took a sip while Enzie seemed to gather his courage.

“It’s about-“

“Enzo.”, Mamma warned. Vinnie didn’t miss how her hand moved to the top of the bottle and he shivered, grabbing the wall. He knew exactly what mamma could do when she was angry.

“Vinnie is a boy, not a girl !”, the fifteen years-old blurted out before taking a few steps back.

Mamma turned around and glared at her son, but she didn’t make a move to hit him. Still, this didn’t make Vinnie feel any less tense.

“Vivie…Viviana. His name is Vincenzo now. He’s a boy.”, Enzie continued with a firmer voice.

Mamma’s gaze seemed to lose some of its anger, though she still gave the teen a dirty look. After a few seconds, she glanced at the child at the door and Vinnie froze. She started to make her way towards him, almost instantly followed by Enzie who ran to his little brother, holding him protectively against his chest.

Mamma ignored him, her gaze on her youngest child. Vinnie looked down, gripping Enzie’s shirt in fear.

“Very well, Vincenzo. And please make your brother understand not to bother me when I’m busy or he’ll deeply regret this.”, and with that, she went to her bedroom, bottle in hand.

Once she was out of view, Enzie let out a deep sigh of relief and let go of his brother. Vinnie continued to cling on his shirt for a moment. He started crying and buried his head in Enzie’s chest, trying to cover his sobs. The older brother ran his fingers in Vinnie’s hair in a soothing motion.

“Shhh, let it all out. It’s okay to cry.”, Vinnie kept his head where it was, though his sobs became louder. “There you go. It’s alright. Everything’s alright.”, Enzie was right, and Vinnie knew it.

Vinnie had a new name. He had new clothes.

His siblings supported him.

Enzie told him that, if he did continue to feel like a boy, there could be a few changes for him to do once he’s older, at least if he wished to. Enzie promised he would do anything to make sure these changes happen.

But for now, they did everything that could be done.

They talked to mamma.

Mamma had accepted him.

…

He was going to be alright.

As long as he stayed away from mamma, as long as he kept listening to Enzie, everything was going to be fine.

---------------

March 22, 2137

Vinnie didn’t know what to make of Papà.

As far as the six years-old could remember, which wasn’t a lot, papà would show up from time to time starting in January. He would spend the afternoon talking to mamma, or going to her bedroom, and then he would leave.

Papà never stayed the entire night. He never showed up two days in a row.

And once spring was coming to an end, during the first days of July, he would leave and not come back for the rest of the year.

Vinnie was curious about the man. He was his papà after all ! But he never got to interact with him, never got to sit down and talk to him. He wanted to learn who he was, what he liked, why he was only here from time to time and why it was only during winter and spring…

Vinnie had tried asking his siblings about papà, but none of them gave him a satisfying answer.

Donnie was as lost as he was. He never had an opportunity to talk to papà, always afraid to run into mamma or to have Enzie yell at him for it.

Bettie looked at Vinnie with sad eyes, told him not to go see papà, that he was dangerous. When the brother asked why, the twelve years-old refused to answer.

As for Enzie…

Enzie didn’t like papà. He said papà was very dangerous, that he didn’t care about them, that the four kids shouldn’t waste their time with him.

Everytime the kids would stumble across him while walking through the house, papà would stop in his tracks to gaze at them with an indecipherable expression. Enzie would immediately shush his younger siblings away, all while glaring at the man. Sometimes, Vinnie would look at his papà and see him glare back at the teen.

While Vinnie didn’t know much about his papà, since he never got to interact with him, there was at least one thing he was sure of.

Enzie hated papà.

Papà hated Enzie.

And because of that, Enzie would never let his siblings approach him.

But one day, Vinnie got an occasion to talk to him.

Enzie was doing homework upstairs with Bettie. Now that the teenager was in high-school, and with the other siblings old enough to be unsupervised for a while, Enzie decided to spend more time working on his future. In the meantime, Bettie has chosen to step up and help him, looking after her younger siblings if needed.

But right now, neither of them was downstairs. Same thing for Donnie.

That was how Vinnie found himself peeking inside the living-room where his parents were. His papà was sitting on the couch with his arms and legs stretched out, while mamma seemed to be “making herself a drink” as Bettie called it. The child crouched down at the entrance and listened as his papà talked.

“-shouldn’t be there anyways.”

“You say the same thing every single year, Pietro. And yet, you always come crawling back to me. It’s been more than ten years. Just admit you can’t help it.”

“Just like you can’t help having your load of kids ? Do you have any idea how much they cost me ?!”

“You can stop sending me money any time you want.”, Vinnie could almost hear the laugh in her voice. “But I don’t think your little family will take it very well once I go to ask them for my money.”

Papà grumbled and looked away from her. “You’re the shittiest human being I ever met, Claudia. I hope you know that.”

“You’re no better yourself. Lying and cheating at any given chance. Honestly it’s a miracle she still doesn’t suspect a thing. You two really found each other. So naïve and in denial of the truth about the world. ~ ”

As mamma kept smirking and teasing papà, the man was getting more and more angry. Vinnie could see his hands gripping on the sofa, as if trying to rip it off. This made the child tense up at the prospect of his parents fighting.

“What now ?”, mamma suddenly spat in annoyance. The two adults glanced at Vinnie, and that’s when he realized that he had been anxiously tapping on the doorway’s wall, giving himself away with his noise.

“Umm…hi…”, Vinnie said in a quiet voice, waving awkwardly. Now that he had been caught spying, he might as well show himself more. Who knew, maybe this would be his only occasion ever to talk to papà !

Mamma just huffed and went back to pour her glass, while papà kept his eyes on the child.

“This is the youngest one, right ?”, papà asked. “Viviana ?”

“Vincenzo.”, mamma corrected before Vinnie could. “Turns out your daughter was a son this whole time.”

“And you changed her-his name, without my permission ?!”

“If you have a problem with that, you can talk to Enzo about it.”

Papà looked down, teeth gritted. “This child should learn a little respect.”, he spat.

“Have fun telling him that.”, mamma replied, completely impassive.

“Why don’t you at least try to teach that boy anything ?!”

“I don’t know. Why do you suddenly care about these children ?”, she shrugged. “Besides, Enzo’s almost an adult. He’s not my problem anymore.”

“You’re going to throw him out ?”

“He intends to throw himself out.”, mamma explained. “But maybe if you give us more financial support, he would have half a mind to stay.”, she joked. Papà was not amused at all.

The man punched the couch and fell silent, looking away from the mother and son. For a few moments, Vinnie just stood there, observing the man with hesitation. He knew he should be leaving, now. If Enzie saw him there, his older brother would kill him. But right now, as he felt so close to having a moment with the older man, his curiosity to meet his father was stronger than his fear of consequences.

Eventually, Vinnie saw papà’s fists unclench. This prompted the child to try and make a move. With hope to finally have a conversation with the man, Vinnie tentatively walked to the couch. When the man didn’t move, Vinnie put a hand on his knee.

Still no reaction.

Getting more and more hopeful, the six years-old hopped on his knees. Papà still didn’t move.

Well, it seemed like Vinnie had to start the conversation.

“I…um…”, Vinnie had his hands on his own knees, opening and closing his legs awkwardly as he thought of what to say. “I’m…I’m not Vivie anymore. I’m Vinnie now.”

No response.

After a few seconds, Vinnie started wondering if maybe his siblings were right. If maybe it would be better to just let it go and leave, especially seeing the dirty look mamma was giving him. But before the child could move, something he didn’t expect happened.

Papà put a hand on his back.

Vinnie froze and looked up. The man still wasn’t looking at him.

Without much thinking, Vinnie pressed his face against papà’s chest. Suddenly, the hand on his back start moving, reaching his shoulder and slowly rubbing it.

Vinnie looked up as papà looked down at his face. The child smiled but his gesture wasn’t reciprocated. The older man just seemed to study his face, keeping the same neutral expression.

Vinnie had no idea how much time wet by before papà decided to open his mouth.

“Why are you wearing those ?”, he asked, tapping the corner of Vinnie’s sunglasses.

Vinnie felt himself ready to jump in happiness. Papà was talking to him ! They were having an actual conversation ! He could learn more about him !

But instead, Vinnie did his best to stay calm, letting his only sign of excitement be the rapid movement of his legs. He really didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Besides, thinking of how papà had acted earlier made the child feel intimidated by the man.

“It’s..for my eyes.”, he explained. “The light is bad for my eyes. So I need to wear those. I also can’t see every color without them.”

“How did you get the money for that ?”, the man asked, glancing at mamma. “Why wasn’t I told about this ?”

“You would have known already if you spent more time here taking care of your children, since you suddenly seem to love them so much.”, she replied in a sharp tone. “Or would it be too suspicious for your dearest missus ? ~ ”

Papà didn’t replied, instead looking back at the child still in his lap. Vinnie didn’t really know what the adults were talking about, and he had a feeling it wasn’t something he was supposed to understand. If anybody were to take care of it, it would be Enzie.

Vinnie was still in his thoughts when papà lifted his head with a finger, taking a better look at his eyes. Remembering his experience at school, Vinnie instinctively grabbed the sides of his glasses in case papà tried to remove them.

“Your eyes…”, the man commented. “They’re different colors ?”

“Uh ? Oh ! Oh yes they are !”, Vinnie was quick to reply. He smiled again, seriously wondering why Enzie was so against them talking to papà. Sure, the man was a bit scary when talking with mamma, but at least he seemed to care about his son. More than mamma at least…Or, well, when he was around at least…

“Vincenzo ?”, papà was moving a hand in front of Vinnie’s face.

“Uh ? Oh ! right ! My eyes !”, Vinnie quickly pointed to his left eye, tapping the glass. “This one is blue. And this one-“, he pointed to his right eye. “is brown. Just like yours !”, he commented with a smile.

“…Sure.”

The man fell silent again and Vinnie looked down, trying to find another thing to say.

“…Sa-“

“VINNIE !”

Vinnie froze at the familiar and booming sound of his oldest brother’s voice.

Uh oh…

“Enz-“, papà tried.

“YOU GET AWAY FROM HIM !”

Enzie ran into the room, snatched the six years-old away and walked out, all while looking at the older man with a murderous stare. Vinnie was able to give one last glance at his parents before the door closed, seeing papà stare in confusion and anger at Enzie while mamma walked towards the man with the same impassive expression, as if she had expected something like that to happen.

With the door now closed, Enzie put his attention onto the scared child.

“WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING BEING WITH THEM ?!”

“I…I just wanted to talk to papà…”, Vinnie sheepishly replied, his head down.

“THAT MAN IS DANGEROUS, VINNIE !”

“But we were just talkin-“

“VINNIE !”

Vinnie fell quiet, finding himself unable to meet his brother’s gaze. He instead focused on the underside of the shirt he was gripping on.

After a few moments, Enzie managed to regain his composure. He sighed.

“Listen, Vinnie. I know you just want to talk to papà, but that man is a bad person. I’ve seen him hurt mamma before, he’s as dangerous as she is, if not more.”, Enzie lifted Vinnie’s head. “I just want you to be safe, polpetto, alright ?”, Vinnie nodded, still avoiding Enzie’s eyes. “Good.”, Enzie kissed his forehead. “Now let’s get back upstairs, alright ? I think I can already hear Donnie calling for you. ~ ”, the teen said in a way that Vinnie knew was an attempt to light up the mood.

“…Alright.”

Enzie held Vinnie’s hand as he led him to his bedroom. Vinnie just followed in silence, stuck into his own mind.

Enzie was a good person. He took care of Bettie, Donnie and him.

Enzie hated papà, and papà hated Enzie.

But did that really mean that papà was a bad person ?

Was there really no way he could prove that papà was better than Enzie thought ?

…

…Will Vinnie ever get the occasion to talk to him again ?

---------------

April 10, 2137

Enzie and Bettie talked a lot when they were doing homework. Sometimes, Vinnie would hide behind the office’s door to listen to them.

They talked about all kinds of topics. From school to the girls Bettie liked to even Donnie and Vinnie and how annoying the brothers could be at times, making the older duo feel exhausted.

But other times, they would talk about their parents, about how they felt about them.

It was obvious that Enzie hated those kinds of talks. But at the same time, he always seemed to use Bettie’s curiosity as an occasion to tell her to avoid being around them.

Bettie mostly asked questions about the relationship between her parents and why they acted the way they did. Enzie answered as best as he could, but even he barely knew about them.

However, among the flow of questions Vinnie heard Bettie ask, one in particular stood out to him.

Does mamma have other men in her life ? Does the four of us come from the same papà ?

When she asked this, Bettie was mostly talking about Donnie and how different the eight years-old looked compared to his siblings.

Curious, Vinnie started to pay attention to the facial features of his family and, soon enough, the six years-old understood what his sister meant :

Out of all of them, Donnie was the only one who didn’t look like papà at all.

Enzie was almost a perfect replica of papà. He had the man’s square chin and nose, his thick eyebrows that were more than often furrowed, along with papà’s curly hair that, in Enzie’s case, was slowly growing past his shoulders. Vinnie wondered how much the sixteen years-old hated looking so much like the man he despised more than anyone else. The only real difference between the men was color, with Enzie having mamma’s black hair and blue eyes where papà had brown eyes and light brown hair.

Vinnie was the second closest to papà. Just like Enzie, he had his old man’s chin, nose and curly hair, though his chin wasn’t as pronounced as his oldest brother. Vinnie even had a brown eye and brown hair, even if his hair was darker than papà’s. Aside from that, the child had one blue eye, like mamma’s, and his eyebrows were not as thick as papà’s or Enzie’s.

Bettie, on the other hand, was more of a mix of her parents. While she had a square chin, it was less pronounced, like for Vinnie. She also had mamma’s smaller nose and eyebrows. For the rest, it was all papà’s. She had his brown eyes and curly hair, which she almost always tied into a bun.

Finally, there was Donnie, who couldn’t be more alike to mamma. He had her rounder head, smaller nose, thin eyebrows and her long straight raven hair that he kept in a ponytail. The only thing that made him different from her, aside from height, voice and personality, was his brown eyes that deferred from her ocean blue ones. Though, as Bettie had pointed it out, a lot of people had brown eyes. From her point of view, any man with brown eyes could be Donnie’s father.

Vinnie never talked about it to Donnie. He didn’t feel the need to.

Even if he did wonder sometimes if they had the same father, it didn’t change the fact that Donnie was his big brother. That Donnie was his best friend and favorite playmate.

Papà or not, Vinnie loved Donnie as much as he loved Bettie and Enzie. If not more.

---------------

November 15, 2138

Today was the day.

It was Enzie’s 18th birthday. The day everything was going to get better. The day they were finally getting away from mamma and papà !

The oldest brother had been talking about it to his siblings for months. Now that he was an adult, he could “have custody of you three instead of losing you to the system”, as he said. Vinnie wasn’t sure if he fully understood what Enzie meant. At least there was one thing he was sure of.

Enzie was trying to protect them no matter the cost. He was willing to do anything for them.

That’s what led the four of them into a lawyer’s office.

Mamma was there with them. As far as Vinnie knew, she hadn’t shown any objections to her son’s decision and even wanted to help his case, claiming that the fastest the trial would go, the less money she would have to waste.

Mamma was sitting in one of the two chairs of the small office. Vinnie and Donnie were sharing the second one, the two oldest siblings standing between them and their mother. Vinnie was bouncing his legs, squirming a bit in his chair. Several times, Bettie gently nudged him, telling him to stand still, but he simply couldn’t do it.

He was bored.

Enzie and the lawyer were talking things Vinnie didn’t understand. And when he understood, his mind would quickly end up zoning out. He mostly thought about how papà was supposed to be here, wondering what was taking the man so long.

He wished he had his toys with him right now. Or anything else that could distract him.

It was during a short moment of focus that Vinnie heard the footsteps coming from the hall, getting louder and louder.

The door busted open, revealing a woman the eight years-old had never met before. She had long frizzy brown hair that was slowly falling back on her shoulders after her running. As she entered the room, she pushed her glasses back onto her nose and looked around until her emerald eyes landed on mamma. She glared at the black-haired lady.

“I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it !”, the new woman said.

“Missus Dakota, I presume ?”, mamma replied. She was sitting cross-legged, her arms folded and her eyes closed, seemingly completely unfazed by what was happening. This confused Vinnie. How could she be so calm when some stranger was yelling at her ?

The child, on the other hand, was glancing in fear at the new lady. When the door had opened, he instinctively took hold of Donnie’s shirt. The ten years-old had been quick to return the gesture. Meanwhile, Bettie had gotten closer to the chair while Enzie stood between the three of them and the door, arms stretched protectively.

“To think this all went under my nose for EIGHTEEN YEARS !”, the lady continued. Vinnie’s grip on his brother’s shirt tightened. The lady was taller than mamma, somehow making her even more intimidating in the moment.

Before mamma could reply, new footsteps could be heard outside. Despite the commotion in the room, all eyes turned towards the door. Two children peeked inside the room. They looked around the same ages as Donnie and Vinnie. But more importantly, their features looked awfully familiar to Vinnie.

Enzie was the first to react.

“Who the hell are you ?!”, he yelled, pointing at the two children. “Who are all of you and what are you doing here ?!”

Before the lady could answer, papà finally arrived, looking at her with an uncertain gaze.

“Serena, you shouldn-“, he tried gently.

“DON’T YOU TRY FINDING EXCUSES !”, the lady replied, her anger now directed towards papà. “HOW DARE YOU HIDE ME ALL THIS ?!”, she continued to yell, cutting papà everytime he was opening his mouth.

Vinnie started feeling tears form at the corner of his eyes. He was scared. Overwhelmed. He had no idea what was happening aside from “the adults are all fighting”. So naturally, the eight years-old turned his attention towards the one new adult that was always there when he was feeling upset. He moved to sit with his chest against the chair’s back, gripping it tightly. From here, he had a good view of his eldest brother.

Surely Enzie had the solution to all this. Surely he could make it all better.

At least, that was what Vinnie hoped.

The oldest brother was looking between the different adults in disbelief. Suddenly, he froze with a look of horror, as if he had just understood something really, really bad.

“YOU HAD A WIFE THIS WHOLE TIME ?!”

Somehow, Enzie’s booming voice managed to quiet the fighting. The lady -Serena- looked at him in confusion for a second, until her face bared the same shocked expression as the oldest brother.

“You didn’t know…?”, her whisper was barely audible. She glanced at the rest of the siblings. “None of you did…?”, while Vinnie believed she was still angry and could blow at any instant, he felt like there was a hint of sadness in her voice. Was she feeling pity for them ? Why for ? What did Enzie meant ? With everything happening, Vinnie found himself unable to follow.

“Bettina.”, mamma suddenly interrupted. Serena’s expression immediately darkened, as if she had just remembered the other woman was in the room. “Why don’t you take your younger siblings outside ? The adults are talking, and there’s already enough shouting as it stands.”

“I…um”, Bettie glanced at Enzie. The older brother put a hand on her shoulder and Vinnie could hear him whisper “go”. “Alright. Yeah.”, she turned to the boys still on the chair. “Come on, ometti. Let’s go to that playground we saw on the way in.”

Donnie and Vinnie shared a confused look before getting down the chair. The room was deadly silent as Bettie took their hands and led them out, under the adults’ gazes.

Right before the door closed behind them, Vinnie turned around one last time, seeing the adults ready to go at it again under the confused and concerned look of the lawyer.

He hoped Enzie would be alright…

--------------

December 3, 2138

The case had been taken into court. There had been a trial already, during which each sibling had been asked to testify about their living conditions. The younger trio spent their entire time talking about how their oldest brother had been taking care of them for as long as they could remember.

Vinnie didn’t know how to feel about all this. He had a hard time understanding everything. But most importantly, he was getting impatient.

It was obvious that mamma was bad at taking care of them. Why couldn’t the judge see it already ? They should already be on the road by now ! The eight years-old and his brother Donnie had already started to pack. Somehow, they hoped it could make things go faster.

The whole situation had also taken a toll on Vinnie’s grades. He already had trouble at school, between barely finding the motivation to do any homework unless someone was helping him and being seen by his teachers as agitated, more so than the other kids. And now that he had to worry about where he will end up soon, Vinnie simply couldn’t help zoning out in class to think about it.

And after the first trial, it only grew worse.

His teachers had gotten angry and started punishing him for it.

Vinnie couldn’t wait for Enzie to take them away.

…

…Enzie…

These last weeks, the older brother had been…distant. He spent all of his free-time in the office, working on his case. He only helped his siblings with basic things. Mostly food.

But more than that, the eighteen years-old had gotten more aggressive towards his parents since that day in the lawyer’s office. He couldn’t stand being downstairs if mamma was around. He was insulting them at any given chance, including during the trial they had had.

Enzie was also trying to get things to go as fast as possible. He absolutely wanted to leave before spring, before papà was around again.

Or so Vinnie thought he did.

According to Bettie, papà wasn’t going to ever come back home. At first, when the youngest brothers asked why, she refused to answer.

It had been like this ever since the day they met the lawyer. When they came back home that day, Enzie locked himself in a room, eventually letting Bettie in to tell her everything. The two then refused to explain the situation to their brothers.

That was, until one day.

Enzie had come back home, looking more stressed than usual. When Bettie went to ask if everything was alright, he snapped at her -something about their parents being the absolute worst-, and went to lock himself in the office. After that, Bettie had gone back to the bedroom, clearly upset by it all. And when Donnie and Vinnie asked her what Enzie meant, she told them the truth that forever changed Vinnie’s perception of his father :

Their parents never loved them. They never wanted them. At least, not the way they were meant to be wanted.

Their mother was a drug dealer, a criminal. There wasn’t a single penny she earned honestly. Her whole life revolved around getting money through schemes.

As it turned out, having children had been one of those schemes.

Mamma and papà met in an alley, in the middle of the night. Mamma had been out to sell illegal substances. Papà had gotten bored being home alone. His wife, Serena Dakota, had a job that led her to leave the country between January and July. They hadn’t been married for long when mamma and papà met. Bettie said it might have been a reason for his actions.

Papà “wanted a good time”, as Bettie said. He was out to meet a few women, doing things the older sister refused to explain to her brothers.

It was while looking for those women that papà ran into mamma. And when she heard what he wanted, she decided to use the situation to her advantage.

“She held him at gunpoint.”, Bettie explained to them. “The first night, Mamma had looked to steal his phone while he was sleeping and found the wedding ring he had been hiding in his jacket. She used that to blackmail him once Enzie was on the way.”

At first, papà had been happy to spend time with mamma. But then, his wife came home and they had to stop seeing each other. A month later, mamma called him out of nowhere.

She was pregnant.

According to Bettie, this had never been papà’s plan. Mamma had promised him that she was being careful. But, as per usual, mamma lied.

Knowing the child was his, she had been able to get money from him, threatening to reveal his secret to his wife. In exchange, papà only asked for two things : being the one to name them, and being able to visit them whenever.

The money had been the reason why mamma would sometimes go out with them or make sure they had good enough clothes or even prevent any of them from dying. She had to pretend like she liked her children. She needed people to believe they were one happy family, or else someone could call child services and “take away her safest source of income”. And while papà visiting them wasn’t part of her plan, it still at least helped her hiding the reality of her parenting.

Bettie believed that papà felt bad for them. The reason why he visited wasn’t because mamma forced him to be there. Sometimes, he just wanted to see his children, make sure they were still alive and well.

This was no excuse.

Even with Enzie’s warryness, he had had dozens of chances to talk to them, to be there for them.

At any moment, he could have said the truth to his wife. Instead, he lied to her. He kept her in the dark and made sure she still loved him. He had children with her, children he took care of. Children he loved.

Children he had chosen the name of years before they were born. Names he made sure none of his “other kids” had.

As he was hearing the truth, Vinnie felt like his parents had just thrown one of their bottles on his body, the glass piercing through his chest. For the following hour after Bettie finished explaining, Vinnie had felt empty. He ended up lying in Bettie’s arms, completely frozen, completely unfazed by the world around him.

Enzie was right.

Enzie had always been right.

Their parents were dangerous. Their parents never loved them. Their parents couldn’t care any less about them.

There was no point trying to get their attention, trying to get their affection. They were heartless. They never had the space in their hearts for him.

Vinnie was an unwanted child. They all were.

They were children born from an affair. Used by their monstrous mother to get money from their unconcerned father.

Enzie had been right all along.

…

From now on, Vinnie would listen to Enzie. He would listen to everything his older brother says.

Unlike his parents, Enzie loved him. Enzie wanted what was best for him.

Enzie was the only parent he needed.

---------------

March 22, 2139

“It had been clear for a long time now that Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota are not fit to take care of their biological children. However, the question of whether or not Mr. Enzo Dakota could take care of said children had yet to be answered. Today, we have chosen an answer to this question.

While we still remain uncertain of his abilities to provide for them, this court had been told that Mr. Dakota found job opportunities along with possible apartments in Napoli. Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that Mr. Dakota is incredibly attached to his siblings and had been their only anchor for most of their life. For their own well-being as well as his, we believe that separating the four of them is out of the question.

Thus, this court is ready to give its judgment. The custody of the present Bettina, Donatello and Vincenzo Dakota will be granted to their brother Mr. Enzo Dakota. Their parents, Ms. Claudia Drowssap and Mr. Pietro Dakota, will have to repair their inaptitude by paying child support for the next five years. Furthermore, Ms. Drowssap and Mr. Dakota Sr are not to be allowed to visit their children. Finally, they will not be able to keep any other child they may have in the future.

If Mr. Dakota Jr decides to file a claim for child abuse, more consequences might come their way.

This court is adjourned.”

Vinnie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

They did it.

They really did it !

The banging of the gavel resonated across the room, announcing the end of this session. The end of their last session. Vinnie jumped out of his seat, seeing from the corner of his eyes that he wasn’t the only one. As soon as the way was cleared enough, Bettie and Donnie ran towards Enzie. The youngest sibling immediately followed suit.

They jumped into his arms, all smiles and laughs. Even after they pulled away, the happy chatter remained. Bettie congratulated Enzie excitedly while Donnie was holding onto her, pushing her back and forth. Vinnie himself was jumping in place, his fists shaking left and right in excitement.

They were finally free ! They could finally get away from mamma and papà !

After a few more moments of celebration, Enzie led the group outside. They had to go home and pack up. The oldest brother told them they would leave as soon as possible.

“ENZO !”

The siblings had barely finished walking down the stairs when they saw papà walking towards them. The man was walking fast, teeth gritted and fists clenched, looking at his oldest son with a murderous glare.

Enzie stood in front of his younger siblings, shielding them with his arms. Afraid, Vinnie went to hug Donnie. When papà was only a few steps away, the eight years-old closed his eyes. He heard the footsteps stop, followed by ruffling and a short grunt. Vinnie felt Donnie tense.

“Are you happy with yourself ?! Are you proud of what you did ?!”

Vinnie dared opening his eyes and almost gasped. Papà had grabbed Enzie by the collar.

“Because of you, I lost my wife ! I lost my home ! I might even lose my job ! All because YOU decided to get involved in MY business !”

“All I did was trying to survive !”, Enzie replied, returning papà’s glare. “I’ll never apologize for that.”

“YOU RUINED MY LIFE !”

“YOU RUINED YOUR OWN LIFE !”, Enzie pushed papà away from him. The older man raised a fist but didn’t hit his son. Instead, he looked as the younger trio protectively put their hands on Enzie.

“Go.”, Bettie spoke up with a shaking voice. “Leave us alone.”

“…”, papà’s glare was now directed at the four of them. “You are all nothing but a bunch of ungrateful bastards.”, he growled.

“What should we be grateful for ?”, Vinnie surprised himself by deciding to speak. He knew he shouldn’t. Papà was dangerous, he could clearly see it right now. Enzie had been right about that, just like for anything else. And Enzie had told him never to talk to papà again.

And yet, the child couldn’t stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.

“Have you ever done anything to us ?! Have you ever cared for us ?! DO YOU EVEN LOVE US ?!”

Vinnie felt tears stream down his cheeks. He started sobbing.

“Vinnie…”, Donnie murmured. The ten years-old held his younger sibling. “shhh. It’s okay.”, he soothed. “It’s okay to cry.”, Donnie let a hand gently run into Vinnie’s hair, copying the way their oldest brother comforted them. The youngest sibling leaned into the embrace, crying into Donnie’s shirt. When he tried opening his eyes, he noticed that papà was looking away, seemingly more upset than angry after what his son said.

Enzie was the one to break the silence.

“You’re dead to us.”, he spat. “Don’t ever try to see us again, or they’ll be consequences. And if you don’t keep paying for support, I’ll sue for the child neglect.”, he threatened. “If you think your life is already ruined, you’re not ready for the hell I’m ready to put you through if you ever DARE try anything against us.”

The two men glared at each other for what felt like forever. Enzie’s last words kept replaying in Vinnie’s head. He wondered with dread how serious his older brother was, how far he was willing to go for them.

Finally, after a painfully long silence, papà started to back away. He walked a certain distance, glared at his chil- at them one last time, and turned away.

Enzie snorted. “Come on.”, he told his siblings. “Let’s go home. We have a lot to do if we want to leave.”

The oldest brother started to walk away, soon followed by his sister. Donnie and Vinnie looked at each other as they pulled away from their hug, before finally following the older duo.

As he followed the group, Vinnie couldn’t help but look around him, look back at the older man.

From afar, the eight years-old noticed mamma. She was looking at the man as well.

Despite everything that had happened, she was smiling.

-------------------------

Note : Regarding Vinnie being trans, I’m well-aware that someone doesn’t “become” a boy, they’ve always been one. But since Vinnie is 5 when he realizes that he’s a man, the characters simplify it to “becoming a boy” so that Vinnie can understand easily.

Italian translations :

Mamma : mom

Papà : dad

Piccolina : little one (female)

Polpetto : meatball (apparently it’s a nickname for young kids/siblings)

Patatino : little potato (for some reason I love this nickname)

Ometto : little man (ometti is plural)

Piccino : tiny one

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tf2hcs · 4 years

Note

can i get uhhhhhhh.. trans merc head canons?? maybe found family?? thanks!

you can DEFINITELY get trans merc headcanons. comin up hot. i have so many headcanons pertaining to the mercs being trans that i can’t fit them into one post, so i’m just gonna do stuff related to transitioning here, and if you wanna hear about how i think they realized they’re trans or came out, ill do a post about that too

Soldier:

you know how cis people think that you have dysphoria ur whole life and then you get The Surgery (The Surgery) and it all goes away that very day? and that’s just. it? solider is the only person on earth for whom that holds true

he has rod-insert phalloplasty and double incision top surgery

Jane Doe is actually his real birth name, it doesn’t give him dysphoria so he just kept it

his phalloplasty used his arm as the donor site, so he’s got a patch of pinkish skin on his left arm

he transitioned pretty early on, maybe in his early twenties. he’s known he’s trans since he was a kid

shaving gives him INTENSE gender euphoria

Scout:

he just went on T and boy is he excited

he runs in his binder (dumb) and frequently binds with bandages (dumb), so he has at least one deformed rib. twinsies

like as SOON as he finds out medic is trans he asks for top surgery & gets it. he gets periareolar top surgery

when medic explains to him that periareolar top surgery keeps nipple sensation intact but double incision doesn’t he immediately starts calling the other mercs “numb-nips”

“it’s my shot day someone come stab me in the așs”

he didn’t choose his own name, his mom chose it for him when he came out. if he chose it it would’ve CLEARLY been tommy, as a tribute to tom jones

Medic:

double incision top surgery

i know this is wildly unrealistic but it’s tf2 so i will claim it. medic gave himself top surgery and instead of giving himself nipple grafts he just like, carved a smiley face and star of david on there

he knows the most about trans health and history out of all the mercs (partially because he’s old, partially because he’s a doctor, partially because he’s more involved in the community than the others)

because of this the other mercs come to him for help with trans issues a lot

he wants to have a baby biologically SO bad. so so bad. i think i get this headcanon from how lovingly he holds that baboon baby in the comics

he works really hard to preserve his fertility throughout his transition and as he gets older. he doesn’t end up being able to have a baby until he’s in his 50s but he’s so happy when he does

i could go off about my dad medic headcanons for hours but ill save that for another post if u guys request

Demo:

double incision top surgery for this guy too

talks about being trans all the time (every time i watch meet the demo and he says “i got a manky eye, i’m a black scottish cyclops” i mentally add transgender to the list)

constantly jokes about how he “blew it off” (you know what “it” is)

he has relatively bad dysphoria his entire life, but being open about it really helps

he doesn’t even know soldier is trans until he asks about the skin graft on his arm. he sees him use his rod implant and he just accepts that that’s how penises work

you know how being skilled with explosives runs in the degroot family?? my personal headcanon is that transness is also genetic to the degroots. both of demo’s parents were trans. ill talk about this more in another post if u guys want

Heavy:

no top surgery, his chest is a little large compared to a cis guy’s but his overall size makes it look more normal

if he ever does get top surgery, though, he gets inverted T/anchor incision

he has PCOS. he got a hysterectomy when medic was rooting around in there for the first time and noticed the cysts (”there will be so much more room in here once we get rid of your uterus!!” “room for what?” “…oh, you know”)

i think he might get full meta?? (as in metoidioplasty) i cant decide if he’d want a vaginectomy though. help me decide

Spy:

double incision top surgery. he paid top dollar for it, it’s very nicely done

he refers to his top surgery as a “mastectomy” (which is the correct term but like, who says that)

he gave birth to scout. he was pregnant when he met scout’s mom, and after he gave birth to scout he ended up leaving him with her. i cant decide if it was more of a “can you please take my baby” situation or a “im going to the store to get milk” situation. either way though i don’t think scout’s mom would’ve objected to keeping him, he was an adorable baby

he owns so many packers. he gets them custom made. he has them displayed in his closet like designer wigs

Sniper:

no surgery at all! he never plans on getting it either. that’s why he has the vest

his chest is like, small and somewhat muscular. you guys have seen skinny trans men with muscle tîtty before i don’t have to explain this to you

actually i want you to take this discord screenshot. i said this last thursday

he’s one of the most obviously trans mercs because he just insists on dressing like he based his outfit off the wikihow article for how to pass as male

i can say a lot more about my trans hcs for sniper in another post but im trying to keep this one at a readable length (failed step one)

Engineer:

no top surgery!

i think he has simple meta or maybe full meta without a vaginectomy (*epic rap battles of history voice* you decide)

he transitioned much later in life than the other mercs, his transition only actually started like five years ago

Pyro:

they’re agender!!

AFAB with no surgery or HRT

they use they/them pronouns or alternating he/she (”he’s not here, is she?”)

there’s not much to say about pyro’s gender! they just don’t have one

OH HOLY SHIT DO THE MERCS THROW THEM A GENDER REVEAL PARTY

ASKFLDLJSDKFLJDSFLKSDJFDLSKFJLSK

BONUS

Miss Pauling:

you know how when some trans women start hrt, they get really bad cravings for pickles? miss p has that like hell

she eats a hot pickle in her car every single day. it gets to the point where the people who work the graveyard shift at mcdonalds remember her (she has a habit of ordering “a fry container full of pickle slices”)

she takes estrogen but she doesn’t have any surgery! i dont think she ever gets any

scout very nervously explains to her that he’s trans at one point and all she can do is blink and say “did you think i was cis”

thank you for taking this journey with me. now imagine how long this list would’ve been if i didn’t narrow it down

#Anonymous #tf2 #team fortress 2 #soldier tf2 #scout tf2 #medic tf2 #demoman tf2 #sniper tf2 #pyro tf2 #miss pauling #engineer tf2 #spy tf2 #heavy tf2 #headcanons #trans rights #long post #ask to tag #the holy grail of tf2 trans rights.

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yaboyspodcastpalace · 3 years

Note

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

#i say the same phrase many times but basically best parts of s4 are hands down peter. lonely!mart. peter and martin. melanie's arc. thats it #best parts of s5 are jon killing the not!them. annabelle. mikaele. annabelle & mikaele. annabelle and martin. thats it #dhfjfj sorry half of these are a bummer but you asked me... characters i have a complicated relationship with... i love the three of them s #statement ends #THANKS i love... talking

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now-two-people-are-mad-at-me · 3 years

Note

Thoughts on wayward guide so far? Do u have any favourite characters? Any theories?

Well, as I was telling @singing-not-sleeping-beauty the wayward guide really remind me of my favorite game, Werewolves of Thiercellieux, which is not the game that inspired TCB to do the wayward guide.

So far I love it. The vibe, the places, the story, and especially the characters. I have a particular affection for the twins and Madison. Oh and Helen. Something I don't like, however, is the extreme exaggeration of some characters. For an exemple, I don't find Agnes Florentine to be funny, she's mostly annoying to me, and same goes for Brian Rosenthal's character or Aubrey Dockweiler. I also really like Truman, how she's introduced as a big villainess but is also really charismatic and make actually good decisions for the town, as the curfew.

My biggest fear so far is the ending, because I'm often disappointed by too much suspense. But the werewolves revelation was actually perfect! I didn't expect it at all, and didn't suspect this, and from those people. It was great, and I hope the ending will be as good!

Some things I've noticed so far that could maybe make sense later:

Jewel is 16 and Donny is 17, and he's really desperate for love. Maybe?

Agnes' nickname is Ags, and the notation on the Periodic Table for Silver is Ag. Maybe does she have a link with Sibylus Silver?

When Leslie calls the Dead Canary (which by the way is a super appropriate name for a Mine's Town's bar) he says "I'm looking for a couple of my employees, Artemis, and uh, I guess Paul Schue-Horyn". Why this hesitation on Paul? Did he use to go by another name? Or does he change often? So I'm headcanoning him as trans or genderfluid.

I don't get why people say Paul would be that cute with Sibylus. I found him happier with the butcher.

Have Olivia and Riley ever been in a scene together? If not, could it be the same person, with either a mental illness or a really bad taste in pranks?

#Sorry this was really long #the wayward guide for the untrained eye #Yay an ask #Tin can brothers

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ramblefang · 4 years

Text

Rabbit Town; BNA ep 2

“Previous Post

Preface

My previous (and first) post of these BNA first impressions ended up being more rambly than even I want to be. Most of that was due to me retelling events, which I was actually doing to help me remember what happened in the episode. So instead, I’m going to try just going through the episode again in another tab and using timestamps (which I think is the norm for this sort of thing anyway.) This technically means I’ll be writing down my second impressions, but I’d really prefer my first watch of episodes to not be interrupted every minute by me needing to tab out and write something. I’ll still try to remember and write out my first impressions anyway.

(Hmm, Netflix doesn’t seem to provide a precise timestamp. Guess I’ll just approximate things by mousing over the...runtime...bar thing.)

Cold Open

0:15 Starting off right where the last episode ended: Michiru saying that she’s human.

0:22 Shirou says she’s a tanuki, based on the appearance of her tail. She seems offended by the idea. My best guess is that her reaction has to do with what tanuki are famous for: having huge balls. (Also they’re magical spirits, which may or may not have something to do with the powers Michiru has.)

0:45 The police arrive and it seems Shirou is a known entity. Gives me Batman vibes. Is Shirou a vigilante? And in that way where the police are just used to it by now?

Opening

0:50 The OP starts and I notice the strands of DNA. Makes me think of how Michiru apparently changed species, and also the way there is some pharmaceutical company behind the very existence of Anima-City. Oh, and I just got that “BNA” is basically a pun on DNA.

1:30 Last time I had recalled something about shadowy feral transformations, but it looks like Michiru transforms into something more equine than anything else. (With what I know from later in the episode, she definitely seems to be a shapeshifter, which I think is appropriate for a tanuki.)

1:40 Oh, and there’s still totally something about this vocal melody that reminds me of “Bad Apple.” Admittedly, it’s been years since I actually listened to that song, so maybe I’ll have to go compare them later.

Forms

2:00 A detail spoiled by the OP: apparently beastmen have human forms that they can switch to, yet Michiru can’t. Honestly, it sort of looks like she’s stuck in a halfway state—a kemonomimi for the most part, though with the nose and “mask”

2:10 Shirou appears surprised, and possibly skeptical, about Michiru being unable to switch forms, indicating that it is by far the norm to be able to do so

2:35 Ah, by the way Michiru speaks about it, switching forms seems to be common knowledge even among humans. Shirou says “Quit talking like a human” in response to the idea that they’re always in beast form, which means this is a common human misconception (and this comes up later as well, illustrating how Michiru really comes across as human in little ways).

2:45 Bystanders seem to be paying special attention to Michiru, likely to her form. (This sets up what happens later over her inability to assume a human form)

Cooperative

3:00 A lot about this scene speaks to me as a trans person: someone running tests that “prove” someone’s identity and insisting that what they see on the surface is all there is to the truth

3:35 Michiru says she must be afflicted with a “disease”, reminding me of the worries I had about a pharmaceutical company being behind the city and how there may be a darker purpose involving a “cure.” Unsettlingly, Michiru also isn’t far off from saying that being a beastman—the very existence of beastmen—is itself a disease. (Mind, she doesn’t literally say that, but based on things she says at the end of the episode, it may not be too far off from how she actually feels—right now.)

4:00 Back to trans stuff, this reminds me of how being trans was, as a whole, labeled as “Gender Identity Disorder”, categorized as a mental illness rather than a natural state of being. (Also, I’m currently building a headcanon of Michiru being a trans girl. Not only because of this stuff, but also due to how she reacted to being called a tanuki: I can interpret her as feeling gender incongruence/dysphoria over the big balls thing.)

4:30 Interesting that this is a “cooperative”. Are they technically not part of the government and are more independent than that? Or maybe the term means something else in Japan.

4:40 Again with trans feels. Filling out forms and needing to identify as something you don’t actually see yourself as

4:50 (Didn’t catch that my first time around: different blood types? Wonder if blood harvesting and blood mixing will be a thing. Remembering the kids that were about to be sold off... Might these things be connected?)

(Rather than making things shorter, this is just resulting in me going even more in-depth. Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.)

5:10 Probably a bit of an exaggeration that you can’t get back anything stolen from you: says more about how this is a seedier place than the video in episode 1 let on. We sort of got that from Michiru being pickpocketed in the first place, but this lets us know that that wasn’t an irregular occurrence

5:30 (Also didn’t really absorb this my first watch, but it does make sense that Michiru has been sleeping outside while on the run. Doesn’t feel good to think about how she had to spend that time being scared of the humans around her.)

5:40 Kuro is a wonderfully round birb.

6:10 Michiru making the same connected that I made (and that the audience in general is probably expected to make) about Shirou potentially being that big wolf who was up on the rooftops

6:25 Michiru probably expected Anima-City to be the end of her struggles where everything would just be better and easier. Indeed, she is young and naive.

The Next Morning

7:20 While Michiru may be surprised by the “rule of the strong” here, it does work effectively in parallel with the focus that has been put on money (between these two episodes). The powerful get to do what they want, whether it comes from physical strength or financial power. When it comes down to it, the human world, under a capitalist framework, doesn’t behave all that differently

7:45 Oh, Shirou has some sort of direction connection with the mayor and/or the government. Is this what they meant by “social worker”? Is he some sort of government agent? Does he have the extrajudicial authority to just beat people up (and even kill them?) the way he did with those terrorists?

9:00 (Considering Marie’s apparent connection to Rabbit Town, she probably does have some connection to the pickpocket. But now that I’m making this connection... Did Marie bring those kids to Rabbit Town after they were separated from their parents by beastman hunters?)

Rabbit Town

9:25 My very first expectation with a place called “Rabbit Town” was something akin to “Little China Town”

9:35 Then it struck me as something of a red light district

10:00 And we learn what Michiru might have to deal with in the future for being unable to switch to a human form: more people may think she’s trying to pick a fight.

10:15 Saying that she’s “not some baby” indicates that there are people who can’t control their forms: young children. Or, perhaps, someone who hasn’t been a beastman for a long time. (Maybe she’ll figure it out when/if she gets back with the kids she helped rescue.)

10:45 (Struck by how “coincidental” it is that someone like Grand Grandma would end up with a random kid’s wallet. It’s making me think that the pickpocket and Marie actually funnel people into this person-trafficking ring)

11:15 With my early impression of Rabbit Town being some sort of red light district, I thought this was some sort of communal daycare. (But seeing it again, I’m noticing how stern these women are at seeing the children. Definitely doesn’t look like they care about the kids.)

11:20 The line about them being “women who were betrayed by men”, and the following lines, really fit in with my thinking that this was a red light district, and they probably just didn’t want to outright say these were sex workers. (And maybe some of them are, but it turns out to be far from the whole picture)

11:40 And it does seem to be the image they want to give to Michiru: that they’re a bunch of women struggling together with all of these kids to take care of. There was also a bit about “what it’s like to live as a beastman” which makes me think that it’s definitely the norm for beastmen to be poor—not a surprise since they are clearly an oppressed minority group

Literacy

12:05 Totally expected “Poop” to become the kids’ nickname for Michiru. (Glad it didn’t since it would have made it harder to really care about what happens later.)

12:50 Look at these cuties wanting to learn. (And sobering in retrospect to think how this is probably the most care and attention they’ve had in a while.)

13:10 I forgot to say something about it last episode, but the way Shirou’s sense of smell is visualized is amazing.

13:20 Again with the red light district impression, I was thinking this was the arrival of a pimp or something

13:40 I appreciate Michiru caring about what the kid is already doing instead of reprimanding them for not paying attention

14:00 So we learn about Silver Wolf, who could be the wolf Michiru saw when she arrived in the city. Since Shirou seems to be that wolf, does that mean he’s actually Silver Wolf? Is this an urban legend based on him? Or is he actually some sort of god?

Money

14:45 The demands of payment really played into my pimp impression, but then this guy mentions “letting these women be gangsters.” They could totally still be sex workers as well, but this clues us in that these women may be involved in shadier stuff

15:10 I wonder if the politics of these criminal groups will come more into play in the future. Wouldn’t be surprised if some of the villains we meet end up being allies by the end, considering the way Trigger tends to tell their stories.

15:35 “It’s all women are good for anyway” is an impressively disgusting line to tell us that they’ve been talking about selling the kids. Also, I wonder what it means for the mayor to know about the kids: that the government will be sending people to rescue the kids and shut them down...or that the mayor would be interested in buying...

15:45 The line about the kids being “snatched away” probably means the mayor, so probably not about buying the kids. Still doesn’t mean the “rescue” could end up being more nefarious than it would seem. (Look, I just don’t trust the head of a pharmaceutical company also being a mayor, especially when a video about the city was directly associated with the company instead of being its own thing.)

15:55 Given the earlier scene between Shirou and the mayor, and Shirou being here, I guess he’s something like the mayor’s enforcer? Her trusty hand that does what needs to be done? But I’d also guess that if the mayor is secretly a villain, Shirou has no idea

Trafficking

16:30 I immediately put together that these kids were probably separated from their parents due to attacks by those beastman hunters. (And earlier in this post is when I retroactively put together that Marie, or people with the same job, likely gave/sold the kids to Grand Grandma, if they don’t work for her directly.)

16:40 The rule of the powerful coming up again. This is the way this world (and our world) works. (Which I could go off on a political tangent about, but I’ll refrain for now.)

16:55 Michiru is an atheist. Or at least incredibly pragmatic. Not the most helpful thing to say to people who literally can’t do anything in this situation, but I appreciate the sentiment of actually doing what you can instead of hoping someone else does something about it

17:20 Hmm, no one seems too surprised about Michiru’s expanding tail powers. Maybe this is a relatively normal tanuki thing?

18:00 But the stretchy arms totally aren’t normal, even for a tanuki. Thinking about it, no one else has obviously shown any kind of powers yet. Shirou’s fight with the terrorists could have just been his physical prowess. Do these powers have something to do with Michiru’s transformation from human to beastman?

18:50 In case you didn’t catch on to everyone’s surprise, confirmation that what Michiru just did was very unusual.

19:25 Never a big fan of the “even if they’re women” line. They’ve been doing a very bad thing. Stopping them shouldn’t have anything to do with gender. Why even bring it up. But I guess it does play into Shirou being a masculine and “chivalrous” type of character, as well as this being a generally patriarchal society (which isn’t really any different from our world). (Thinking back to my post on the previous episode, I guess “this isn’t too different from our world” is probably the point that the pseudo-branding contributes to.)

20:00 It seems that Shirou’s relationship to the police is less like Batman, and more like he just outranks them.

20:20 “Facility” is such a cold and impersonal term that it really does make me worry about what the government is going to do with these kids. Again, pharmaceutical company. (I’ll make sure to go back to episode 1 and get a better look at the company’s actual name so I can use that. May as well if I’ll continue to make a big fuss over it.)

20:35 “Even though you’re a beastman, don’t you have a human heart?” is a horribly offensive question. I was initially going to refer to it as a microaggression, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how terrible it is. It’s heavily loaded with the ideas: 1) beastmen are expected to be bad, hence the “even though”, and 2) being human is inherently a good thing. Despite what she said to Shirou at the end of last episode, it seems that she really just has the inverse of his beliefs. And this is so clearly something that only a human would say that it convinces Grand Grandma of Michiru’s “humanity”

21:20 Shirou, needing to wait for evidence before he can do anything, kind of illustrates Michiru’s point of view of not being able to count on society—on anyone else—to be able to help you.

21:30 Shirou, representing the police and government authority to an extent, believing that he “never makes mistakes” again reminds me of the protests we’ve had throughout this year. How the police totally does make mistakes—or rather, the way they don’t even view things they’ve done as mistakes—is totally a problem. (ACAB)

21:40 Following up on what Grand Grandma mentioned earlier about being “betrayed by men”, Michiru questions why it’s only “women and children” that Shirou is protecting. Is it that men don’t need to be protected? “What makes males so special? Are men really that great?”

21:55 And Michiru outright says what she had only implied earlier. Also, she seems a bit scattered between being angry at men, being angry at beastmen, being angry at the police, bring angry at society, and being angry in general. But I get it.

And that’s the end of the episode. I’m not sure if this is how I’ll continue to do these impressions, but I guess I’ll have to see how I feel about it once I get to episode 3. Maybe I’ll try out some genuine first-impressions, even if it means interrupting the episode constantly.

#bna #first impressions

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phobiadeficient · 4 years

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Hey! First of all tell ya that holyfcknshit your writing gives me life! Like, ugh, youre my fckn fave writer!!! Aaaand this is my first request!: Transboy!Scout x Sniper x Demo! Maybe a little hurt/comfort centered on Scout? I just rlly love this three guys together!! Anything with them makes me happy! And your writing with this ship? Ugh ill be in heaven!! You dont have to do it if u dont like or arent comfy with it, tho! Thanks for letting us read your wonderful works!!

can you imagine being scout tf2 in this situation? “yeah im getting a little dysphoria guess i’ll talk to my two hot boyfriends abt it” like can you Imagine

(warnings for discussion of dysphoria and non-graphic PIV sex, i understand that not all trans men are comfortable with that but when i headcanon scout as trans i also tend to headcanon him not being particularly prone to most kinds of body dysphoria and having a generally positive self-image overall. just wanted to be clear on that)

Overall, Scout felt pretty nice. With his two guys, fresh off of dinner and just a little bit buzzed, squished between the two of them all cozy and stuff, and Sniper was playing with his hair and Demo was telling some story about a dumb kid he knew in school and stuff was overall just real nice.

And of course his stupid brain had to come along and ruin it by making him think about sad shit.

They were in Demo’s room since he was the only one of them who was smart enough to get a big mattress. Scout had Sniper’s arm just sort of thrown over across him, he and Demo’s hands intertwined on Scout’s stomach, and he just kinda looked at them for a minute. He thought it was kinda neat just seeing all the little details there, how Demo kept his hands cleaner but his nails were longer, Sniper’s clipped way short but still just a bit dusty. Or maybe that was just his callouses and some weird tanning sort of thing going on, who could say? Demo’s hands always kind of ran warm, and Sniper’s always kind of ran chilly, and Scout would go way warm or cold depending on the day, super susceptible to temperature because he was such a skinny little fuck.

Maybe that’s what he was staring about. Looking at their arms, it was made all the more clear how much scrawnier Scout was. It wasn’t even like Sniper was a particularly buff guy, he could be described as “in-shape” at best, but he was still just... bigger than Scout.

And the other thing, he realized, was that man, Demo and Sniper were both pretty fuzzy dudes. Hair on their arms and legs and all across their chests, Demo with a pretty nice beard and Sniper with almost a beard on accident.

Wham, just like that, like a bat to the temple, self-consciousness, self-doubt. Because that was just one of those little tiny things that Scout would get super insecure about all the goddamn time. Just the little tiny differences. Like the slightly different jaw, the slightly longer eyelashes, the slightly different build. And Scout was lucky, he knew that, because he was tall, and he knew how to work out to build his muscles so he could pass pretty easily in that regard, and his chest wasn’t anything to brag about to start with let alone when he started binding.

But the lack of facial hair, and the hair everywhere else on his body being kind of pale and nothing, and his scrawnier arms, it just...

He exhaled slowly, letting his eyes fall closed. Okay, he needed to slow down and take a breath. Here he was, squished between his two favorite guys on the planet, and who just so happened to be willing to date him and sleep with him on a regular basis, and who were also really hot, and he was getting all up in his own head over nothing. It was dumb. He needed to quit it.

But his brain kept cycling him through it, again and again, and it was Sniper who eventually pulled him out of it.

At some point he’d started playing with the hair on Sniper’s arm, just sort of fiddling, pushing his fingertips across his forearm idly, and Sniper tilted his head to watch him do so. That made Scout suddenly aware that he was doing it, and he faltered for a second, but he continued anyways, even as it made his thoughts a little harder to ignore when doing it consciously.

“One day, love,” Sniper said quietly, and Scout looked up at him, a little wide-eyed with surprise. Sniper smiled a little. “You’ve been doing that for about twenty minutes and staring off into space like you’re waiting for your spouse to come back from the war, love, it was a pretty easy guess to make,” he elaborated.

Scout looked back down and away. Chewed on his lip and his words.

“Is it, like,” Scout started, and had to pause for a second to think of how to word it right. “Is it ever,

y’know, weird? How I’m all... smooth and stuff? And not fuzzy like you guys?”

“Not particularly,” Demo shrugged, the shift minute since Scout could feel it. “Not a big difference.”

“I’ve met plenty of blokes who shave or wax anyways to look nice for other blokes, you’re a good few steps more hairy than them,” Sniper added.

Scout nodded slowly. “...And the... you’ve already said all the other stuff isn’t weird,” he said carefully.

“Aye,” Demo agreed.

Scout was quiet again for a few seconds.

Sniper stopped playing with his hair and removed his hand entirely, and Scout went to complain about it, but was surprised into staying quiet by Sniper rolling to prop himself up over Scout, looking down at him. “Love, are we not telling you enough how handsome you are?” Sniper teased.

Scout flushed. “You tell me plenty,” he mumbled, glancing off.

Sniper took hold of his chin and tilted him back to face him, mouth very very close to his own. “Could tell you more.”

“Could show you more,” Demo agreed, finding a place to wrap his arm over around Scout, kissing at the space under his ear and making him shiver lightly.

“I—guys, it’s fine,” he protested, but it was weak and halfhearted, because Sniper promptly moved to the other side of his neck to nip and kiss, following Demo’s lead. “I-I-I don’t need the... the extra sort of, the...”

He kept trailing off as his breath caught, the two of them being extremely distracting when they wanted to be. He jumped lightly when Demo pinched him lightly on the side, and heard the rumbly little chuckle of amusement that the motion got him.

They finished off getting him properly distracted, Demo parting with one last hard kiss on the lips, and then they were both just grinning down at him, leaving him there probably looking like a complete mess, spots on his neck surely starting to redden.

“Handsome,” Sniper observed simply.

“Gorgeous,” Demo agreed, and gave him another peck for good measure.

Scout’s face was on fire.

“...Well what are you gonna do about it?” he finally prompted impatiently, shifting a little.

Chuckles from both of them, and then they were in motion, starting to strip.

Scout took off his own briefs and the tank he used to bind when they were off work, and mostly just set to distracting Demo as the other tried to get out of his own clothes, much simpler than his uniform but more challenging when Scout was hanging off of him and kissing him absolutely silly.

Sniper pulled Scout off of Demo and back into his lap to free up Demo’s attention for a moment, and Scout’s breath caught as he felt a bare chest against his back and bare thighs under his own. Sniper kneaded at his thigh idly and tucked his head in to nose just under Scout’s ear and speak. “How d’you feel like doing this, love?” he asked softly, sentence punctuated by a little kiss. “Feels like it’s gonna be your night tonight, that sound right, Tavish?”

A sound of agreement from Demo as he struggled free of his shirt. Scout chewed on his lip and thought a little, shifting his weight back against Sniper and enjoying the way Sniper steadied him with arms wrapped around his waist, the hardness beneath him, situated in such a way that he had to really roll his hips down hard to apply any kind of real pressure and make Sniper exhale softly against his neck.

“I dunno, you could fuck me, maybe,” Scout suggested idly, rolling down against him again for emphasis.

Sniper considered that. “We got any rubbers, Tavish?” he asked, and Demo paused where he was pulling free of the last of his clothing, thinking.

“...Should,” he confirmed, moving to the bedside table to check, and coming up with a few foil squares a second later triumphantly.

“Alright then,” Sniper nodded, kissed at Scout’s neck some more. “Who d’you want for what then, love?”

“You fuck me, just like this, I suck Demo off,” Scout decided, eyeing up the bomb-maker in question as he joined them on the bed again, now naked and smiling a bit as he passed over the condoms to Sniper.

“Sounds good to me,” Demo agreed, and pulled Scout in with a hand on the back of his neck to kiss him, other hand drifting over his thigh and guiding him up into a kneeling position to give Sniper room.

Then there was a pair of fingers drifting along the inside of Scout’s thigh, moving between his legs to tease him for a few long moments before Sniper was slicking them up and slipping them inside with relative ease. Scout moaned softly against Demo’s mouth, earning a chuckle.

“Lovely thing,” Demo teased, both hands stroking over his thighs as they started to tremble under the force of Sniper’s fingers moving into and against him in throbbing waves, a skill afforded by experience he’d only gained since he’d gotten with Scout, but fuck, he’d really learned a lot in a short period of time, knew exactly what Scout liked, knew his tells, knew when he could add another finger, knew when he could pull his fingers out altogether and guide Scout back down into his lap carefully, carefully, and Scout was grateful that Demo had the foresight to get lubed condoms because the slide was so nice as he sank down.

Demo pulled back to let Scout moan and curse and make all sorts of noise, visibly admiring the show as Scout rolled and shifted his hips to try and find a good angle, Sniper muffling soft noises into his shoulder. A long few moments were spent with Scout trying desperately to get used to the feeling, only to be thrown off his rhythm as he found a good angle, then again as Sniper rolled his hips gently and the pressure shifted, then again as Demo pulled him back into a kiss.

“Gorgeous,” Sniper murmured against the top of his vertebrae, kissing there lightly, breathless. “Gorgeous thing.”

“You’re—“ Scout started to say, but it was cut off by a shaky sigh as Demo nipped at his bottom lip playfully, Sniper mirroring the motion against his backbone.

In no time at all, he was shifting his legs slightly to get comfortable and starting to move, a gentle up-and-down, barely exerting himself with how extremely fit he was, himself doing most of the work with Sniper rolling along when he could.

And Scout was lost in sensation for a little while, and Demo had been making himself busy lying a series of hickies all up one side of his neck, so he was a little surprised and largely pleased when he blinked his eyes open and saw that Demo had a hand around himself as he took in the view the two of them made. And once he realized that, Scout didn’t waste time nudging his hand aside to try and take over, and then he was being treated to the always-lovely experience of being caught between the two of them, all giving and taking pleasure as well as they could with their brains getting increasingly scrambled.

And Scout could vaguely remember having said something about sucking off Demo, but every time he tried to pull his hand away so they could readjust, Demo mumbled some vague complaint and urged him back into place again. And somewhere along the way Demo slid a hand down his stomach to toy with him in much the same way he was being toyed with, and then all motion was kicking up a notch—

Sniper was done first, surprisingly, swearing through gritted teeth, pulling out midway through as he shuddered through aftershocks that seemed to drag on and on. Scout gasped, and found himself desperate and just a little bit demanding. But man, he really did get lucky enough to find two guys who were real hot and pretty smart, because when Sniper had finally settled down a little Demo had already rolled on a condom and was urging Scout into his lap instead, and he exhaled with relief as he sank down again, mouth locking together with Demo’s as soon as he could get the breath for it, Demo working a hand back down between them to then work at Scout as best he could as the other lifted and rolled Scout with very little effort involved.

And at that point they were both worked along to the point where it barely took any time at all before Scout was trying to muffle himself into Demo’s neck—yes he got loud in bed, no he couldn’t help it, even if he tended to be the one the team then took potshots at over breakfast for being a noise complaint. And Demo was there too, swearing in a choked voice and breathing hard.

Actually, they both were breathing pretty hard. And Scout felt ever-so-slightly steamrolled and extremely pleased with himself and the state of the world around them. And he found himself playing with the abundance of hair across Demo’s chest as he came back down, melting into a nice little puddle in his lap and humming, gone soft and relaxed.

“Handsome,” Demo quipped, kissing at the side of his head, and Scout couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of a beard rasping against his hair.

“Feeling better?” Sniper prompted, and Scout could only hum for a moment, still a little overwhelmed. That got a chuckle out of the both of them.

“Must’ve done something right, aye?” Demo asked, and Scout heard the two of them sharing a brief kiss over his shoulder, and that got him to grin all the more.

“You guys are the best,” Scout decided, mumbly but pleased.

A hum of agreement. “...Y’know that, er, thing you tend to do? Where I’ll be acting like an absolute bugger and mouthing off and you make me go eat lunch and then suddenly everything’s all better because I wasn’t in a bad mood, I was just hungry?” Sniper asked.

Scout hummed in agreement.

“Think this might be that for you,” Sniper concluded, smoothing hands down Scout’s sides, and Scout leaned into it. “A little attention and all’s right with the world, seems like.”

Demo cupped his chin and tilted his face up to kiss at his cheek, and Scout was sure he was grinning like a total dope, but he couldn’t help it. “More attention might be just what the doctor ordered,” he agreed. “That sound right to you, lad?”

Scout hummed in agreement, melting back forward into Demo’s chest again.

“Alright, lovely as you are you ought to get up so we can mop up, doll,” Demo urged, and helped shift Scout up and out of his lap gently. “Made a damn mess of you, would like to avoid ruining the sheets.”

“Shower?” Sniper asked, pulling Scout to his feet.

“Shower,” Scout agreed.

And maybe it was just that Scout had been a little pent-up and it was doing things to his head. Or maybe it was that the two of them were excellent at comforting him in any way he could when those doubts started to spring up. Either way, he found it really hard to be worried about something as simple as him being less hairy than your bog-standard guy off the street when he had Sniper playing and helping to wash his hair and Demo humming more gentle compliments into his ear and bickering quietly with Sniper over nothing important.

#//demosniperscout #//trans characters #//tenderness

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chlogummy · 4 years

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Do you have any headcanons about Kristoph and Klavier growing up? (I know you don't like Klavier, but.) Think he ever tried to kill him?

Hello! Thank you for your ask! ^^Oh well, I have some ideas/headcanons about them, yes! Mostly because my friends shared them and I enjoyed them though eheh. And most of the headcanons I have aren’t related to eachother either. (I apologies in advance for all the english mistakes/typos I may do or bad phrasing that could lead to confusion, that happens a lot with me T-T).So, first, I think they are from a rich familly (….maybe Von Karma related… that could explain their rich appearance, law obsession, german/european style etc). They probably lived together all alone at a certain point, (I have no idea what could have happen and when, maybe a murder that traumatized Kristoph? Could be parents murdered OR murderer parents. In any case, loosing their parents is always a traumatizing experience, and… maybe Klavier was too young to be affected). And that’s when things started to go wrong. Well I like to imagine Kristoph being a “”normal”” (I prefer to add quote marks because he is obviously mentally ill and/or toxic) brother, Taking care, raising him and all. So much talented, and cool, managing studies and taking care of them at the same time that Klavier take him as a role model. And I kind of have two ideas about it.First, Kristoph is “nice” and he is manipulating Klavier without really noticing it (later in the game I mean, for the 7 years, after the forged evidence incident). Maybe he just really wanted to work with his brother on that case with Zak, and the forged evidence was just personnal, he’s just laking of attention and really wanted to become more recognized for his talents than the heritage from their family, but I have an other idea in mind too. So yeah, in that way, Klavier just trust his brother a lot, because he really has never done anything to him, excepted the classical brotherly love teasing (you know what I mean if you have a brother or a sister).Second, before anything with their family happened, Kristoph was an average kid, he was working well, going to be a good defense attorney (or maybe a prosecutor?) and Then Klavier arrived. And here comes the jealousy. what if their parents played favorite with them. Klavier was maybe brillant, without really having difficulties, and their parents were so proud, and Kristoph started to feel dismissed, and that’s where his complex and need of recongnition started. So if he was going to be a prosecutor, he maybe changed to become an attorney to just be in front of Klavier in court, and that Zak case was just perfect to beat him (parents still alive or not) to proove his own talents, and so in that case, he probably manipulated Klavier from the start, pretending to be the good and supportive brother while he was so jealous. I recently talked about a headcanon of Kris being a trans man and it is highly highly easy to associate with that second one. Why? because if their family is related to the Von Karmas, if I remember well Manfred had only daughters and Franziska was the last one (I think it’s mentionned but I’m unsure, it’s maybe another headcanon ahah), that means He desesperately tried to have a son to become a prodigy, but in vain so he rised prodigy Franzy as last resort. (and then Miles came in their life, etc etc, ANYWAY it’s not what I wanted to say ahah). SO if he was born “as a girl”, and Klavier a little boy, the preference for Klavier in the family must have been even stronger! also trans!Kris sounds realistic to me. Even if he is tall, he has so many feminine features. So yeah, Kris working hard on his own to become a prodigy even without having any support sounds plausible.I don’t know where to place it, but Klavier enjoying to be with his brother so much he is his role model probably leaded to have the same haircut. because, well this, is a big mystery to me. Why the hell does Klavier has the same haircut?? If that’s to be looking like Kris, the in the headcanon, Kris would find this cute, in the second, it would piss him of even more, but would pretend not ahah.As you can see, there is always something that happened to the Gavin family, specially to Kristoph in my headcanons. I don’t think he was born a sociopath or psychopath (I’m not familiar with those terms so I won’t say more) and that’s why I prefer to imagine him as a “normal” man who’s just.. so obsessed with his image, and because of this lack of attention/ love/ support, whatever, he as done bad things, and did even worse to try to cover his previous crime but he’s so bad at this, so nervous and anxious about everything that happened with that forged evidence that he did big obvious mistakes.There is another headcanon I have of him doing mistakes (like giving a collective stamp to Drew Misham instead of a simple one that could be collected, David Krisler being super close to Kris Gavin, not hidding himself while giving the forged evidence to Trucy (well it’s not official but if that’s what happened it’s dangerous but he did this), defending Phoenix while… he’s the real murderer?? using atroquinine while it’s in his brother’s song??) just to proove he’s impossible to catch and play with the juridic system to piss of Wright. But I also like to headcanon he did that to actually be arrested, because he’s so, done with that story that is consuming him, and also because he *coughs* appreciates Phoenix after get to know him more (yeah in his breakdown he’s super bad toward him, but it’s just… his way of being? he just felt dismissed another time and it affected him a lot, see?).Still about those evidences. well the atroquinine in Klaiver’s song. I once had the headcanon that his first plot was to put the blame on Klavier, and that’s why he did leave all those clues. and Klavier looking like him would help a lot since Vera saw him.I think I said everything about my headcanons??About killing Klavier…. hm. I don’t think he would… since… he was whether a brother he loved (first headcanon) or a pawn to use to hide his crimes, the proof of his sucess, or eventualy someone to actually blame for his own crimes, so why kill someone so useful? ;)Thank you for your ask! (and your attention if you had the courage to read everything)

#thank you for your ask #really receiving messages and asks about Kristoph fills me with joy and hapiness you can't imagine #ask #Kristoph Gavin #Klavier Gavin #headcanon #ace attorney #aa #I hope I'm clear ;w;#long post

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sanguinarius-archive · 4 years

Note

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

#asks #dick figures #Anonymous

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psychosistr · 5 years

Text

New Way to Love

Summary: Speedwagon already has enough to deal with in his life without his intense attraction to the powerful and brave man who can slay vampires with his bare hands. Besides, even if his feelings were returned, would Jonathan accept him- ALL of him?

Notes: Trans!Speedwagon AU simply because I have seen pretty much every other character in this series get a trans!AU/headcanon but him. Might make a mini-series out of this later..

Speedwagon knew he was…odd. He had known it since he was about twelve, maybe thirteen years old.

While other kids his age started to fit into their roles in society and lose the androgyny of youth with excitement, he found he dreaded it.

While others his age looked at their bodies filling out with pleasing swells and curves with joyous expressions and comments about how they were looking forward to the frilly new clothes they would be able to wear, he looked at himself with a sense of loathing and found he would rather wear a suit than something so lacy and delicate.

While the girls his age made their parents and guardians proud with talk of one day marrying wealthy husbands and having children, he thought it over and, while he wouldn’t mind having kids someday, he wasn’t as excited by the thought of a big wedding and settling down- he wanted to earn his own money and be able to take care of himself, rather than become dependent on someone else.

Also, while he did still like men quite a lot (he recalled several crushes from his youth), he found he also didn’t mind the idea of being with girls too much either.

Needless to say, his ideals conflicted greatly with those of the people around him who could not comprehend such a mindset.

It only became worse as puberty began to set in more firmly, changing his body in ways that made him upset to look at himself in the mirror. He began doing little things such as wrapping bandages around his chest to bind it and make it look flatter and sneaking out of the orphanage wearing clothes he’d found on the streets that fit him much better. If he got caught behaving in such a way, the “caretakers” (or undertakers, as many kids were prone to call them) would punish him harshly, their methods alternating between beatings, refusal of food, or even locking him up in a closet for days at a time.

By the time he was fifteen, he decided he’d had enough of it and ran away along with a few other kids. They didn’t have anywhere to go, but they figured the streets would be more hospitable than the place they came from was.

Speedwagon figured out rather quickly that, in order to survive on the streets, there were two options- selling yourself or stealing from others.

Not being too keen on the first option, he decided to improve his skills with the latter. He trained himself and learned how to wield different weapons from knives to guns to his bare fists when the need arose. He found he was actually quite skilled with throwing knives and had good aim with other objects, so he found a way to conceal razor blades in articles of clothing- giving him a surprise advantage over anyone he challenged as most didn’t expect to be kicked with a knife or have a hat with blades thrown at them.

With time, he found his way to Ogre Street, one of the worst places in all of London. If you were skilled enough, you could make a killing there (literally and figuratively) and the cops were too afraid to pursue anyone strong enough to call the area home. It was a perfect fit for him, except for one little thing:

Ogre Street was not a welcoming place for anyone even remotely feminine. No cops meant that no one would care if you were assaulted, and some men were cruel and deranged enough to pounce on whatever caught their eye.

Having already decided he wanted to live his life as a man and being more comfortable with people referring to him as such, the decision to have his breasts removed was an easy one. Finding a doctor willing to attempt the surgery and keep quiet about it was a bit more challenging, but, for the right price, anyone’s service can be bought. He eventually found a crooked doctor willing to perform the operation after Speedwagon slid him a decent amount of money up front and promised more after it went well.

It hurt. Speedwagon was no stranger to pain, but it had been AGONIZING. The doctor had no proper anesthetics or pain killers to give him and couldn’t even be bothered to knock him out, meaning he had to be strapped down to the operating table and wide awake through the whole process. Needless to say, it left him with some nasty scars under his chest, but they fit in well-enough with the rest of the scars already on his body. The recovery period lasted longer than he would have liked, leaving his pockets dangerously empty, but it was worth it for the security (and general feeling of comfort and happiness) it would bring him in the future.

Once everything was said and done and he was back out terrorizing the streets once again, he felt so much better. No more binding his chest to the point of near-suffocation or worrying about his shirt buttons popping open to reveal something that shouldn’t be seen. To everyone on Ogre Street, he was just another man looking to survive and that’s how he wanted it.

Speedwagon was not a very trusting person, so there were very few who knew his secret. In fact, there were only two men who knew the truth about him in all of London.

One was Tattoo, as he was one of the boys that Speedwagon had run away from the orphanage with. The big guy had been a good, supportive friend throughout their youth and never made Speedwagon feel odd about himself in the slightest. After Speedwagon’s surgery, he’d brought him food now and then to help keep him alive when he wasn’t feeling well enough to go out and steal some for himself. He was also the one to suggest they start going by new names to mark their new lives on Ogre Street. Tattoo took his namesake from the odd inking he got done at a local shop around the same time Speedwagon got his surgery, and he had no problems at all calling Speedwagon by the new name he chose for himself.

The other was Kempo Master. Speedwagon and Tattoo met him shortly after they changed their names. He was a little odd himself, but pretty clever. Speedwagon never said anything about his past, and he knew Tattoo sure as hell didn’t, but Kempo Master just seemed to somehow KNOW. He never said a word about it, which Speedwagon was immensely grateful for. Instead, Kempo Master showed his understanding and support in little ways such as bringing home extra bundles of cloth and wool along with medicines and drugs meant to ease pain during certain times of the month when Speedwagon “felt ill”.

Speedwagon was glad to have both of his friends’ support and understanding, but he certainly did not plan on ever letting anyone else find about his past or his body.

At least…not until a certain snowy night when he and his friends attempted to rob a tall, muscular, rich man who’d wandered into their territory..

Jonathan Joestar.

With one firm punch to the face that sent him flying, the kind-hearted nobleman had instantly landed a place in Speedwagon’s heart that no other person in the world had been able to match. The man was kind, compassionate, caring, strong, brave, noble, intelligent, clever- Speedwagon could go on and on for hours (according to his friends, he already did).

Since they met, Speedwagon’s life had been completely uprooted and he was thrust into a bizarre adventure that consisted of ancient stone masks, people corrupted into zombies, and nearly immortal vampires. It was through these life or death battles and long days and nights spent training for them that the pair grew closer and closer.

Speedwagon was in love with Jonathan, he knew this to be a fact almost instantly after meeting him. That feeling grew stronger with each passing day, but he bit his tongue and said nothing about it. One reason was because Jonathan already had a lovely woman in his life- Erina Pendleton. The two had been close when they were younger and had been inseparable since the fight with Dio had ended. There were no doubts in Speedwagon’s mind that they would be married before long.

The other reason he abstained from saying anything was because…well…he was who he was. It was a cruel way to phrase it, but he had no other way to describe himself. Part of him briefly wondered if, had he simply bitten his tongue and lived his life as he had been told to, there may have been a chance for him to win Jonathan over before Erina came back into his life. That part was quickly silenced, though- he was who he was and would never regret that choice. If someone could not love him for being himself, then he would rather die alone.

Even so, on lonely nights when he knew Jonathan and Erina were off somewhere being one of the most lovely couples in all of England- perhaps in all the world- his mind would stray and wander to thoughts of the handsome nobleman and how he longed to be held as Erina was. On certain occasions, he even imagined himself together with both of them- walking down the street with himself on one of Jonathan’s arms and Erina on the other, sharing a kiss with each of them before gazing at them doing the same with each other, or simply just lying together peacefully in the same bed with the two of them holding him and telling him he deserved to be there nestled between such beautiful angels.

Alas, he knew it was a fantasy not meant to see the light of day. At least he could content himself with being Jonathan’s closest friend and catching glimpses of the happiness the two shared with each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was on an evening much like any other that he’d spent with Jonathan following Dio’s defeat that his life took yet another unexpected turn.

The two men were having drinks at a local pub in London, one of the seedier places that a man like Jonathan never would have set foot in before meeting the blonde man. However, since the two became friends and Speedwagon began showing the nobleman his less-than-respectable-but-still-quite-fun places to hang out, Jonathan was now a familiar face at many of London’s lower class establishments. He had been a bit worried at first about causing a scene among the bar’s patrons, but one stern glare from Speedwagon was enough to quiet any room and silently instruct all in attendance not to bother them- he still held quite a bit of pull in England’s darker circles, despite his attempts at going on the straight-and-narrow since meeting Jonathan.

They were a few drinks in, at a point where they were both pleasantly buzzed and relaxed thanks to the alcohol but not yet inebriated. After finishing another round, Speedwagon noticed that Jonathan had a pensive expression on his face despite the generally jovial atmosphere around them.

“Somethin’ on your mind, Mr.Joestar?” He inquired while placing a hand on the larger man’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Jonathan startled slightly, blinking as he realized he was being spoken to and clearly replaying the words in his minds before responding with a small frown. “Oh Speedwagon, I do wish you would stop referring to me so formally. We have been through so much together, can you not call me Jonathan- or even simply Jojo? I would much prefer that..”

Speedwagon offered him an apologetic smile. “My apologies, Jonathan. Now then, somethin’ on your mind ‘sides my language?”

Jonathan seemed hesitant as he searched his mind for an answer. “Well…yes.” He looked down at his empty glass on the table, bringing one of his fingers up to slowly trace the rim of it. “Promise you will not think less of me if I ask you for your opinion on a rather…sensitive matter?”

Speedwagon was quick to respond with a resolute nod and an encouraging squeeze to the broad shoulder that his hand was still resting on. “Never, Jonathan. Y’ can ask me anythin’ at all, I’d never judge y’.”

Jonathan looked up at him for a moment, a soft, caring smile on his handsome face. “…” He took a deep breath and looked back down at his hands, apparently unable to meet his friend’s gaze while asking what was on his mind. “You are far more worldly than I am, so I was hoping you would have a more open-minded opinion on such things..but..” He bit his lip briefly before continuing. “I know that romantic relationships between men and women are quite common all over the world..however..have you ever seen such a thing between..um.. between two……men..?” His voice grew quieter towards the end, lowering so much that, had he not been leaning in to hear properly, Speedwagon may have missed the final word.

As it was, he’d certainly heard it and it caused a slight flush that was from more than just the alcohol to spread over his ears. “O-Oh..” He pulled his hand back and covered his mouth while clearing his throat. “Well now..that is certainly a sensitive matter to discuss..” He glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to hear them. Thankfully they were in a booth situated in the back corner of the pub and the bar was fairly empty at the moment, with its few regulars mostly seated at the bar itself and out of both sight and earshot. Deeming it safe to talk about the subject, Speedwagon looked back to Jonathan once more. “To answer your question, Jonathan- yes. I’ve met my fair share of men an’ women alike that preferred t’ be with one o’ their own rather than the other- ‘ell, I’ve seen people what went after both. I’ve even got a few friends inclined that way.” He almost said he was as well, but he was nervous to admit that part..

He noticed the way Jonathan’s head lifted and he looked at Speedwagon with a hopeful expression. “Really? I knew there were laws against carnal relations between two men, but I had never heard of them having romantic relations before. I mean, I knew it stood to reason that it would be POSSIBLE, I had just never seen such a thing in person.”

Speedwagon gave a pained chuckle, a forced smile on his face as it was his turn to look down at his empty glass. “Can’t say I’m surprised. Most have t’ keep quiet ‘bout that sorta stuff, ‘specially ‘round these parts, else they’d be locked up.” He sighed sadly and closed his eyes, remembering the times he’d bit his tongue regarding the many crushes he’d had over the years to avoid being arrested and executed like so many others had- some of them having been friends of his that he felt terribly sorry for. “It ain’t right, imprisonin’ people for lovin’ someone when they ain’t doin’ no harm t’ no one..but, that’s just the price we pay..”

“ ‘We’?” Jonathan parroted back to him with a curious tone that still seemed oddly hopeful.

Speedwagon’s eyes snapped wide-open at the realization of his blunder. “I..um..that is..!” He searched his head rapidly for a reason, an excuse, a diversion- ANYTHING that would allow him to go back on what he’d said. “That is t’ say..‘we’ as in..y’ know..‘umans in general..!” He tugged his hat down, avoiding Jonathan’s wide-eyed, curious stare. “A-Anyway, why ask that sorta thing?”

With his hat hiding his eyes, Speedwagon failed to notice Jonathan subtly moving closer as he spoke. “It’s because..you see..I have been having some feelings as of late that were rather…confusing.” Speedwagon felt Jonathan’s hand brush against his own ever so slightly as he continued, but he figured it was just an accident. “I do love Erina very much, there are no doubts in my mind about that…however..I believe I have started developing feelings- I would dare to even call it love- for..someone else, as well..another man, actually.” A gentle glide of fingers along the back of his hand, far too deliberate to be an accident this time. “I have spoken with Erina, and she has been wonderfully patient and kind on the matter. In fact, she has encouraged me to speak to the man in question about it..and has even shown a budding interest in him as well, which makes me all the more eager to speak with him.” His fingers traced around so they were sliding between Speedwagon’s palm and the table below it, holding onto it so tenderly that it made Speedwagon’s heart ache. “Tell me..if I confessed my feelings to him..do you think he would accept them..?”

Speedwagon felt something racing through him in time with his rapid heartbeat- anxiousness, perhaps. Or maybe hope? Whatever it was, he tried to firmly stomp it down before it could blindside him completely. After all, Jonathan could merely be seeking comfort- he was quite a tactile fellow, always offering physical contact in way of encouragement and affection.

“I..I think anyone would be lucky t’ ‘ave y’, Jonathan..” He swallowed down the lump in his throat that threatened to choke off his air any moment now. “Only a fool would turn someone like YOU down.”

“Well then..” Jonathan’s large, warm hand was suddenly on his cheek, tilting his head up so they could lock eyes properly- confident and teasing blue meeting nervous and surprised copper brown. “Do you consider yourself a fool, Robert?”

Jonathan rarely used his first name and it made his heart want to explode out of his chest. Then, if that weren’t enough, those blue eyes were suddenly much closer and he felt something warm pressing to his lips and-

Oh.

Jonathan was kissing him…

Jonathan was kissing him…?

Jonathan was kissing him?!

“Mh?!” Speedwagon made a surprised noise in the back of his throat and pulled back slightly, staring at Jonathan with wide, confused eyes. “J-Jonathan?! Wh-Wh-What was that..?!” His face was burning hot and he was certain it was as red as a rose by this point.

Jonathan frowned, looking confused by the reaction. “It was..a kiss..?” He looked down, the expression on his face looking so hurt- so full of pain and regret and despair- that it made Speedwagon want to cry. “My apologies..I just..I thought..I was certain you..” He shook his head and stood up from the table, reaching into his pocket and setting a handful of money on the table that was probably worth far more than their few drinks. “Please…forgive me…” He said, his head tilted down so that his eyes were cast in the shadow of his hair to hide his hurt expression from the blonde.

Before Speedwagon could finish properly processing what just happened, Jonathan was already walking briskly towards the exit.

No, no, no! He couldn’t let that painful expression be the last look he saw on Jonathan’s face that night!

“Jonathan! Wait!” He called while hurrying out the door after the taller man. Thankfully, he hadn’t gotten far and Speedwagon was able to catch up to him after jogging for a block or two. “Jonathan!” He grabbed the nobleman by his arm and turned him so they were looking at each other. His heart nearly stopped at the look of pain and despair still firmly painted on such a handsome face. “Jojo…” He kept a firm grip on that strong arm and led the other man into a back alley, taking a few turns so as to hide themselves from those wandering the streets.

“Speedwagon? What are you-?” Speedwagon didn’t give him a chance to finish his question, instead leaning up on his toes to kiss the taller man firmly on the lips. “?!”

Speedwagon continued the kiss for quite some time, keeping his hands cupped around Jonathan’s cheeks to prevent him from pulling back as he himself had earlier. When he was finally satisfied, he pulled away only by an inch or two so he could give Jonathan a playful and teasing but still loving smile.

“Still startlin’, even when y’ want it, ain’t it?” He asked while gently stroking Jonathan’s defined cheekbones with his thumbs.

Jonathan swallowed nervously, a slight flush appearing on his cheeks. “You..Do you mean..that is..do you..?”

Speedwagon smiled more. God, it was cute watching the normally confident man fumble over his words like a nervous school boy. “Yeah. I do, Jojo.” His smile faltered, however, when a traitorous thought crossed his mind. “I..gotta ask, though..” He looked down, releasing Jonathan’s face so he could wrap one arm around himself and nervously rub at it with the other one. “Would y’ still love me..even if I wasn’..y’ know….a man..?” Damn it, his anxiety was getting the better of him, but he knew they would need to have this conversation at some point, so, he figured, they might as well do it now.

Jonathan just gave him a confused look, obviously missing the point of the question a bit. “Are you asking if I would still love you if you were a woman? Of course I would, Robert. I love your fiery personality and sharp wit. Though you are also quite charming and attractive, it is you and your amazing soul I love far more than the body you were born with.”

Speedwagon visibly winced at the other’s wording. “And…if this wasn’ the body I was born with? If, say, I was supposed t’ be somethin’ else an’ decided t’ change it..? If I wasn’ a man in the same way as you..would y’ still love me, Jojo..?” This was physically painful to talk about. He kept waiting, anticipating the rejection he was certain would come any moment now-

“Yes.” The answer was immediate and without any trace of doubt. He looked up out of surprise, staring right into Jonathan’s unwavering gaze. “I love you, Speedwagon. Regardless of what anyone else says, you are the MAN whom I love so dearly. You are no less a man than myself, and are far greater than most men I have known in my life.” He encircled Speedwagon with his strong arms, making him feel shielded and safe and so very loved. “You are kind, loyal, brave, selfless, clever, and one of the most wonderful people in my life. Without your constant encouragement and support, I do not know if I would have made it through all the horrors that we were forced to endure.” He held Speedwagon close, leaning his head down until they were only a breath apart. “I love you, Robert. If you allow it, then I shall show you the depths of my love from this day forth and until the end of time itself.”

Speedwagon’s heart was thrumming madly in his chest. He felt overjoyed, so happy he could practically cry. In fact, he could swear he felt something wet sliding down his cheeks and wouldn’t be surprised at all if that were indeed the case.

“Please..” His voice was a broken whisper, his throat choked up with far too many emotions to name. “I love y’ too, Jojo. Please..” He gripped Jonathan’s shoulders, almost scared to let go for fear of this all being some cruel dream meant to grant him a taste of what he so desperately wanted. “Show me..”

That was all that needed to be said for Jonathan to close the gap between them and kiss Speedwagon with so much love and longing that it made the blonde’s knees weak. He practically clung to Jonathan for support as the kiss took all the stress, all the fear, all the trepidation he had in that moment and cast it aside. Instead, his heart filled with love, affection, reassurance, and desire that burned as it raced up and down his spine.

There was no use denying himself any longer: He was in love with Jonathan Joestar, and he knew that the astounding nobleman would continue to make his life even more bizarre and wonderful from this day forward.

End Notes: Yeah, I’ll probably make a mini-series out of this later. If nothing else it would be to add on some NSFW scenes that I’d post to AO3 and some relationship building to include Erina as well because I love polyamory stuff with the three of them xD

#jonawagon #jonathan joestar #Robert E O Speedwagon #jjba #trans!character #jojo kimyou na bouken #jojo's bizarre adventure #trans!Speedwagon #New Way to Love

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