#maybe I'll regret this maybe no one will read it idk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

love-belle · 9 months

Text

good riddance !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their post break-up era is them pretending that they weren't each other's everything.

for when you're too hurt to regret anything. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hello!!! i hope u like this one!!! thank u so much for reading, i love you <3 just a note, that i will probably not be posting next week bc i have exams but i will be active here so ! if u message me, i'll probably reply, i hope so anyways lol <3

≡;- ꒰ °twitter ꒱

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by landonorris, lilymhe, carmenmmundt and 779,617 others

yourusername taylor was so right when she said "oh my love is a lie" bc fr love IS a lie

7,927 comments

username she gets it

username oh this speaks VOLUMES

username bestie u should've just tagged him at this point

username i will never be getting over them u don't get it they were my PARENTS

username girl is heartbroken but still slaying

*liked by yourusername*

username i miss u and danny so much 💔💔💔💔💔💔

lilymhe kids remember to drink rat poison before you fall in love because it never works out!!!

-> yourusername so true gf

-> alex_albon ???

-> lilymhe no babe look away

-> username poor alex omg 💀💀💀

username TAYLOR SWIFT ALWAYS RIGHT

*liked by yourusername*

username im a child of divorce what the fuck

username hits different ://///

username the highkey shade 😭😭😭

landonorris we miss you!!!

-> maxverstappen1 who's we

-> yourusername i will steal jimmy and sassy again don't test me maximus

-> maxverstappen1 for fuck's sake that's NOT my full name

-> yourusername ok maximus.

-> username OH THANK FUCK 🙏🙏🙏 i genuinely thought her friendship with everyone would be all fucked up but im so happy to see this ❤️❤️❤️

-> username they're so precious to me

username missing daniel is the comments simping for her 💔💔💔

username "love exists bc u exist for me" IM CRYING WHAT THR CUCK

-> username how'd we go from THAT to this.

georgerussell63 your hobbies include calling me and carmen at 3 in the morning just to say bonjour in weird accents and then hang up

-> yourusername idk abt u but carmen loves me doing that

-> carmenmmundt can confirm 😘

username nah bc what'd daniel do so bad that y/n started doing STUFF

-> username IM SAYING LIKE 😭😭😭

username missing her in the paddock sm omg ://

username praying she's at the next race 🙏🙏🙏

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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danielricciardo good riddance.

8,626 comments

username PAUSE

username reverse whatcthebfuck

username daniel babe what.

username no bc if i was y/n i would cry maybe that's just my sensitive ass

-> username definitely not just u bc i would SOB

username OH MY GOD

landonorris don't act like i can't hear you singing sad songs to yourself

-> danielricciardo LEAVE ME ALONE

username nah bc what the fucj

username i don't like it one bit 🫤🫤🫤🫤🫤

username NOT MY PARENTS FIGHTING

username love is not real bc if they didn't work out then there's absolutely no hope for me

username i feel so bad :////

charles_leclerc you're lying

-> danielricciardo no i'm not

-> charles_leclerc yes you are, i can see you wipe away your tears

-> danielricciardo STOP EXPOSING ME

-> username PLEASE OH MY GOD

username "good riddance" what if this was my last straw.

username i know he's gasping for air rn knowing he lost a bad bitch like y/n

username ahahahahaha!!! im so okay!!!!!!! just fine!!!!!!! idc abt this!!!!!!!! (im losing my mind)

username someone take away y/n's phone before she sees this PLEASE

username my heart's breaking wtf

username remember when daniel and y/n posted about each other with WHOLESOME captions??????? good times

-> username those were the highlights of my entire week like ://

-> username i miss my mom and dad sm 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

maxverstappen1 nice

*liked by danielricciardo*

username i know max is maaaaaaaaaaad

username the f1 gc is blowing up as we speak rn

-> username real like y/n is like their baby sister 😭😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °text messages ꒱

kelly's bf 👎 - max ; cat stealer ❌ - y/n

cat stealer ❌ : max

kelly's bf 👎 : what

cat stealer ❌ : is kelly with u

kelly's bf 👎 : she's out with p

kelly's bf 👎 : what happened

cat stealer ❌ : just wanted to talk to her

cat stealer ❌ : it's okay, just tell her to give me a call whenever she's back :) tell sweet p i love her and i miss her sm

kelly's bf 👎 : will do

seen 1m ago

kelly's bf 👎 : hey you okay?

kelly's bf 👎 : i saw what daniel posted

kelly's bf 👎 : it's a shit move just saying

kelly's bf 👎 : he's stupid

cat stealer ❌ : yeah idc lol

cat stealer ❌ : "good riddance" ok boy u literally begged me to make it work

cat stealer ❌ : i'm sorry ik he's ur best friend

kelly's bf 👎 : yeah but so are you

cat stealer ❌ : WOAHHH PAUSE

cat stealer ❌ : max being nice for a change?????

cat stealer ❌ : history was made

kelly's bf 👎 : don't make me take it back

kelly's bf 👎 : but yeah

kelly's bf 👎 : don't pay any attention to him, yeah? i'm sure kelly will have a few choice words for him at the next race, along with me. and p probably, she loves her aunt y/n

kelly's bf 👎 : speaking of that, you're coming to the next race right?

cat stealer ❌ : i love u all :// thank u

cat stealer ❌ : and no, i don't think it's a good idea

kelly's bf 👎 : are you sure? you can stay inside the whole time, he won't even see you

cat stealer ❌ : i'll think abt it, im just very overwhelmed rn that's all

kelly's bf 👎 : that's very understandable tbh

cat stealer ❌ : max

kelly's bf 👎 : y/n

cat stealer ❌ : can i ask u something

kelly's bf 👎 : if this is about letting you and kelly give me a makeover, it's no

cat stealer ❌ : we'll convince u someday but that's not what i wanted to ask

kelly's bf 👎 : what is it?

cat stealer ❌ : do u think daniel ever loved me

cat stealer ❌ : like at all???

kelly's bf 👎 : y/n

kelly's bf 👎 : of course he did

kelly's bf 👎 : you were his everything

cat stealer ❌ : then why was it so easy for him to walk out and then say "good riddance"

cat stealer ❌ : he took the easy way out

kelly's bf 👎 : he's a stupid asshole that's all

kelly's bf 👎 : but he truly did love you, he still does. i know i complained a lot, but with the way he spoke of you, like you were truly his everything. it was such a happy site, seeing my two best friends in love

cat stealer ❌ : u called me best friend twice omg

cat stealer ❌ : that's a record

kelly's bf �� : shut up

kelly's bf 👎 : my point is

cat stealer ❌ : i need to post something so W

cat stealer ❌ : brb

cat stealer ❌ : kelly's calling me

kelly's bf 👎 : so i was just a placeholder till my girlfriend arrived?

cat stealer ❌ : aw look at u using ur brain

kelly's bf 👎 : this is why daniel broke up with you

cat stealer ❌ : TOO SOON

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

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yourusername me looking for my last fuck to give

7,927 comments

username SLAYED

username ATE SO HARD OMG

username MOTHER

username i love her sm omg

username she's winning the idgaf war

kellypiquet pretty girl 🤍

*liked by yourusername*

username IM IN LOVE WOAHHHH

username she gagged him y'all

username I LOVE HER SM

username gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf gf

maxverstappen1 👍

-> yourusername 👎

-> maxverstappen1 okay fuck you i was trying to be nice

username HER

username iconic

username exes beefing omg 💀💀💀

lilymhe SLAYED

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe IN LOVE

*liked by yourusername*

lilymhe on my knees pls marry me

-> yourusername let's go bb i'll get u a ring

-> alex_albon oh

-> lilymhe babe LOOK AWAY

username two artworks in one frame

-> yourusername pls i love u 😭😭😭

username MOTHER IS MOTHERING

username i know he's shaking rn

username no bc the way my jaw dropped and the way i gasped why are u so pretty beautiful gorgeous angelic ethereal breathtaking hot fine amazing

username I WENT TO HEAVEN OMG

username just one chance please

charles_leclerc as lando taught me "slayed the house down 🔥🔥🔥"

-> yourusername PLEASE IM HONOURED

username i adore her friendship with the grid 🫶🏼

username ahsuidsjgsjsjsksisjajsdh

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danielricciardo ignorance doesn't suit you

comments are disabled for this post

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yourusername honey everything suits me ❤️

tagged danielricciardo

comments are disabled for this post

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #daniel ricciardo blurb #daniel ricciardo x y/n #daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo instagram au #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo angst #daniel ricciardo au #f1 instagram au #f1 imagine

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duoduotian · 1 year

Text

currently cold and suffering

#mel 废话时刻 #think i was having a pretty great few weeks #then i read smth then i relapsed #being functional w mental illness is hard #i think after my last edit on the letter i'll apply for real #i will regret this...#the main point is that i want to integrate into society again and be out of this shit hole #hate it here every day!!!!#i have like maybe two places i can work at #the first one is an either or thing depending on location idk #not rlly in my best state of mind rip #every thing in this house annoys me

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williamssgirl · 1 month

Text

❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)

you can read part one here!

pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader

summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.

warnings: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.

wc: 2.9k

a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy! dt: @satellitespinner

don't buy tlou | free palestine

(1:02am) ellie

please let me explain

(1:06am) ellie

cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while

(1:07am) ellie

i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.

(1:09am) you

guess who texted again

(1:09am) olive

no way

r u gonna reply?

(1:10am) you

absolutely not

i made a fool of myself

(1:11am) olive

maybe and JUST MAYBE

reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back

(1:12am) you

what the fuck olive

do you want me to die? genuine question

(1:12am) olive

LISTEN

it might help

plus she seems genuinely apologetic

why is she even apologising?

(1:14am) you

for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?

(1:14am) olive

because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?

(1:15am) you

😐 bye

(1:15am) olive

just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out

okay?

(1:16am) you

i'll think about it

(2:03am) you

11:30, you get two minutes

(2:03am) ellie

thank you so much

(2:03am) ellie

i'll be there

nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.

you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.

but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).

but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.

a plan to win you back.

she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.

so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.

then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.

useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.

her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.

you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.

words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through.

“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.

you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense.

“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles.

“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you?

tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again?

“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face.

instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her.

ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once.

you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite.

ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return.

“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth.

instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth

“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting.

“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest.

“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that.

“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys.

“but you-”

“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything.

it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she.

gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content.

“ellie…” you needily whisper.

“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”

“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet.

you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer

“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun.

“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!”

“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water.

silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down.

she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her.

“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.

with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck.

the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough.

discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee.

“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit.

from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point.

ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit.

“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you.

“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”

you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you.

“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more.

she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.

quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel.

“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.

she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again.

lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it.

“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements.

gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours.

“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body.

you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you.

“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own.

“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it.

“we’re okay?” she asks

“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier

“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out.

people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart

#aria's fics ೀ !#do not support neil druckmann #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #elliewilliams #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #mdni banner by @cafekitsune #lace divider by @v6que

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ellaa-writes · 7 months

Text

The Bëast Within

author note: Part 5! Ok this is the last part till I'm back in November. Will be gone from October 21st till November 18th. I'm getting married and then going on my honeymoon. So enjoy! I'll be working on other parts while I'm away. :) you can find the rest of the series here.

summary: Omegas are rare, in a world full of Alphas and Betas. Being a Omega was not only dangerous but they were highly sought after. After living your life has a Beta in disguise, you meet a scary Alpha, but not any normal alpha. But a gaint Apex Alpha who won't stop at anything to make you his.

tags: Alternative Universe, female reader. Slight smut. Reader edges König into an apology. Slightly submissive König (but don't tell him that.) A/b/o dynamics. Alpha König is big and scary but not to reader. not proof read

König showed his love through acts of kindness and gifts. He felt bad for smashing your phone, and also as you put it "ruined your life". But he knows your just being dramatic, he spent two full days sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms. You didn't leave the master bedroom, only opening the door after König pleaded with you to eat something.

That's why he's currently inside a jewelry store, trying to pick out a gift that says I'm very sorry but I also don't regret doing what I did. The sales person becoming annoyed cause he can not make up his mind so decided to buy all 3, a matching set.

The second day barricaded in the room, you spent most of the time crying in your nest and enjoying the deep soaker tub. König brought you lunch, and also your new phone.

Discarding the food on the dresser you laid in the nest, setting up your phone. Waiting for the thousands of notifications to pop up.

You immediately called Kalina, you missed her voice and knew she's probably in a panic. The phone only rang once before it was picked up. "Please tell me you're alive." you heard her panicked voice on the other line.

"I'm alive." you replied back. "What the fuck is going on?" she all but screamed your name. "It's a complicated story." you tried to explain but she cut you off. "Are you safe, do you need me to call the police? Maybe the military? Who do I need to kill." she was rambling so fast you could barely make out what she was saying.

"Kalina! Hey Kalina! Calm down will you. I'm fine. I'm alright. I don't need any of that." you were finally able to but in. "I went to your apartment and you were gone, like all of it." she explained. Remembering König's actions, rubbing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose. "Ugh I know." you didn't know where to start. "It's been a week! A week of no call, no show, no nothing. And Mr. Wojack said you quit? What the hell is going on?" her voice getting higher and higher with each word.

"If you'd shut up I'll explain. It started that night at the club." you started. "We should have never gone." Kalina but in. "Kalina! Please!" you pleaded with her to shut up. "Sorry, sorry!" shaking your head. "Their was a guy there, an Alpha. I guess he sniffed me out, idk how the hell he knew but he followed me home. I woke up to him in my room, and..... and he marked me. That night, and I've been at his place ever since. He helped me through my heat....I think we are mated now." you explained.

The other end was finally quiet, thinking the call dropped until you heard Kalina'a deep sigh." I knew, I knew he would try. I just hoped I got you out of there fast enough." she said, you were confused? She knew? "What do you mean you knew?" you asked. "Don't you remember me pulling you out of the club? Throwing you in that cab?" she asked. It took you a while to thinking back in it, and then I made sense.

She saw him too, just like you did. "You saw him?" you whispered. "It was hard not to." her voice trailing off. You heard a knock on the door, probably König again. "Kalina I gotta go. I call you back later." you told her. Hanging up before she could protest. Leaving your phone on the charger near the bed.

Walking to the door you could see König's shadow underneath. Another knock came "Omega, please let me see you." he pleaded through the wood. If he really wanted to he could break it down, and he was tempted. Since getting a taste of your omega pussy it's all his dick and brain could think about.

"Why should I? So you can lie to me again." you were being a brat but you deserved it. In less than a week you had your home, job and life taken from you. But you also knew your situation could be much worse.

König sighed, he was going to lose his mind if you kept up this act. He had every right mind to knock this door down and make you forgive him. Even when he didn't believe he needed to be forgiven. In the law he had every right to do what he did. Once an omega is claimed she loses all her freedoms and rights. As she now belongs to her Alpha who is responsible in taking care of her. And if he's unfit of that, then the courts step in and interviene. But you were an undocumented Omega and he was a dead excommunicated Alpha.

Slamming his fist against the thick wood, he rolled his neck to try and relieve the tension that's been bothering him. "Please my love, I got you something." in König's other hand held the name brand bag of the jeweler he visited.

Unbeknownst to him, you had been scheming. Spending your time locked in this room, snooping around. Taking out his military uniform and laying it out on the bed. Also finding a few medals that where also stashed away in the closet.

"I'll let you in if you answer some of my questions." Königs ears perked up, what was this? A terrorist negotiation? But the thought of being in your presence, he didn't care. "Whatever you want Omega." his words making you laugh, of course you'll give me what I want, you thought.

König heard the door click, you unlocking the bolt that secured it close. Opening it a bit before stepping away to sit on the bed next to your findings.

König wasted no time in barging right in, about to open his mouth but closing it immediately when he saw his uniform next to you. "What is this?"he asked. His voice getting deep and low, his instincts heightening. He wasn't an animal you wanted to corner and confront but that's exactly what you did.

"That's my question. And I don't want to hear anything from you that isn't a one word answer or anything that's not the truth. You understand?" you fingers ran along the delicate stitching, tracing it slowly. König didn't like any of this.

"If you aren't going to answer me, you can just leave. And take that with you." you pointed to the bag he was holding. He sighed, setting the bag down on the dresser. Leaning against it, he was feared far and wide. The stories men told about him, yet here you are. Standing up to him, and not backing down. The Beast was proud, laughing loudly in König's head. Mocking him for not being able to control you. But that's not what he wanted, he didn't want to control you he just wanted to make you happy. And right now you were not and it was his fault.

Slowly you were wearing him down, his dick hard and throbbing in his pants. Begging and pleading with him to do whatever you wanted just so it can feel you wrapped around it again.

"I served in the Austrian Special Forces, but things came up and now I'm here." hoping his answer sated you. He crossed his arms staring at you, dragging his eyes up and down your body. "Why did you leave?" you asked. Curious about the Alpha in front of you, his aura was dark and mysterious. "It no longer served a purpose in my life. I... uh I do different work now. Similar but different. That's all you need to know." König was trying his best to answer you but to also keep you safe from his world.

You sighed "König you said you'd tell me anything I wanted." you eyed the giant Alpha in front of you. The sight of him alone making you want to heel over and crawl to him. But it was just your horny omega brain. "I am Omega, there's things you wouldn't understand. I'll do anything to keep you safe." König was growing more frustrated. Pushing himself off of the dresser and making his way to you. Getting down on his knees and placing his head in your lap.

"I'm trying to keep you safe and protected. Don't you understand." he looked up into your eyes. His eyes pleading with you, his bottom lip sticking out. "Than say your sorry." you told him. Lightly brushing your hand through his hair. You slightly started to part you thighs, revealing a silky pair of panties under the dress you were wearing.

Königs ears began to ring, his mouth becoming wet with anticipation. If he was a youngling he'd might even start foaming. The smell of your wet Omega pussy hit his nose, a low growl starting deep in his belly. He tried to push your dress up more but was received with a smack. Knocking his prying hands away, he hated when you did that.

Nobody he knew would dare raise a finger at him and since knowing you, that seemed like your favourite thing to do.

"No." you scolded him like a juvenile pup. "Not until you say you are sorry." he heard your words but his mind and eyes couldn't leave the sight of your pussy. The fabric of the silky panties hugged you lips, a small wet spot slowly forming. König knew from that moment on you were going to be the death of him.

Only if one of his men could see him, if one of the many people he's snuffed out could look upon him from hell. To see this feared Alpha on his knees, drooling at the sight of sweet omega pussy. They would laugh, they would mock him. Just like The Beast was doing now, his laughter louder than anything.

König licked his lips and closed his eyes. Taking a moment to clear his mind, too shut up The Beast and to try and not cum in his pants.

"Omega, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'll never do anything and I mean anything without your approval." he was a starved man, if you told him to walk into fire he would. "Omega I promise to serve and worship you till the end of mine time." he didn't know what else he could say.

You smiled, your eyes turning bright at the words your Alpha was saying. Your heart skipped a beat and your pussy gushed with more fluid. Pushing up your dress a little and tilting your pelvis till it was in König's face.

"I forgive you." you said. You hands tangling themselves in his hair once again. König mouth attached its self to your clothed pussy. Sucking on the wet spot, trying to ripping through the material with his teeth.

Trying once again to touch you with his hands but only stopped when you smacked them again. He really hated that. "No, just your mouth. And be a good boy and I'll let you fuck me." you told him. Spreading you legs open even more, resting you left leg over his shoulder.

Yes, you were going to kill him. But he didn't care, as long as he died by your pussy he didn't care at all.

Tag list: @plumdreadful @traumaramacenter @kaylp-godly @napalmfairy7 @hisa-plush @ramblingsofachaoticthinker @winters-doll @joyfulfxckery @purebeskar @collete25 @fandomsinthegalaxies @xo-konigs-little-princess-xo @jamieelol @luc1ddreamersatnight @cringeycookies (Tumblr won't let me tag some of you.)

#cod mw2 #könig #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig cod #konig x reader #konig x you #könig x reader #könig x you #könig x fem reader #könig x female reader #konig x female reader #a/b/o dynamics #konig x fem reader #alpha könig

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tonyspank · 8 months

Text

HEART RACING

Warnings: 8k+ words, bad writing, kissing, relationship started from a bet, slightly ooc vada (idk?) reader has she/her pronouns, ur best friends is kinda a dick ig

A/N: this was highly inspired by shes all that + i'm still kinda on my break, sorry if it seems like im ignoring asks

Summary: You take on a bet from your best friend, but what happens when you start regretting your decision.

"I'm so excited." Jordan, your childhood best friend says, smiling at you. You narrow your eyes at the brunette boy, adjusting your bookbag strap that was slipping off your shoulder. "I wonder what dish your mom is going to make this time." He adds on, that goofy smile of his never leaves his face.

"Yeah." You mumble, trying to hide your nerves about the upcoming break. "Yeah, I hope it's something delicious," you reply, forcing a smile. Jordan reads you like a book, tilting his head before letting out a soft laugh.

"Don't tell me you're worried about your parents bothering you about having a girlfriend." You shake your head, furrowing your eyebrows, as your eyes stay attached to the trail in front of you.

"It's just... this happens every holiday! Oh, Y/N, where's your girlfriend? Oh, Y/N! Who's the lucky girl?" You mock your parents before letting out a sigh and stopping your walk to face Jordan.

"Why can't I just be single and enjoy my high school experience without constantly being questioned about my love life?" you vent, frustration evident in your voice. Jordan raises an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "To be fair, you haven't brought a girl home since freshman year. And you're now a senior. Did you see how happy they were?"

You roll your eyes at Jordan, "What about Ana? I brought her home." Jordan chuckles, shaking his head. "Ana doesn't count. You faked a relationship, and your parents read right through it. They know you too well."

You sigh, memories of that awkward dinner with Ana and your parents flooding back. "Yeah, that was a disaster. I guess I just wanted to avoid the constant interrogation for a while." Jordan smirks. "Maybe it's time you actually find someone worth bringing home."

"Yeah, sure. It wouldn't be hard to, I just need someone to be able to play the part. My parents do not care who I date whatsoever, just as long as I'm dating them." You tell him, scratching your eyebrow.

Jordan raises an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You wanna bet on it?" You raise an eyebrow in response, curious about what Jordan has in mind. "What kind of bet are we talking about here?"

"I pick the girl, and you have to bring her home to meet your parents on Christmas," Jordan says, a smirk playing on his lips. "And if you succeed, I'll do your math homework for the rest of the year."

You eye Jordan before holding out your hand. "Deal." Jordan's smile widens as he shakes your hand. "Let's go find your lover." You laugh, following Jordan as the two of you start scanning the school for potential candidates.

"What about her?" You ask Jordan, nodding your head in the direction of a girl blowing bubbles. Jordan glances over at the girl blowing bubbles and raises an eyebrow. "Hmm, she seems carefree and fun-loving. Definitely a possibility," he teases. "But no!"

You continue searching, your eyes landing on a girl sitting alone in the library, engrossed in a book. "What about her?" you suggest to Jordan, pointing her out. Jordan observes her for a moment before responding, "Too boring."

"Ohhh, maybe her!" Jordan laughs loudly, pointing at a girl picking out her wedgie. You chuckle at Jordan's suggestion, but quickly shake your head. "I don't think so," you say, trying to stifle your laughter. "Let's keep looking."

"Hey! I'm the one picking here. I have the go-to." You shake your head. "Then pick."

Just as you say that a girl trips on her own shoelaces and stumbles forward, nearly falling face-first, Jordan bursts into laughter. "I think we have a winner!" You look over at the girl, who searches around to see if anyone has seen her embarrassing moment. She quickly regains her composure and brushes off the incident, pretending like nothing happened.

"Vada Cavell?" You yell at Jordan, "You've gotta be joking, man." Jordan chuckles and shrugs. "Hey, you said to pick. And she definitely caught my attention with that little stumble." You roll your eyes, not convinced that this is the best choice for your fake partner.

"Look. Ugly, bad personality, a bit on the smelly side, I can handle." You glance back at Vada, sighing.

"But I draw the line at someone who can't even walk without tripping over their own feet," you say, exasperated. Jordan laughs again, defending his choice. "A bet is a bet!" You open your mouth to argue again, but Jordan beats you.

"Hey, if I were you, I wouldn't be wasting my time. Because according to my calculations, you only have about four weeks to turn her into your perfect fake partner before Christmas. And if Vada Cavell is going to be that somebody, you've pretty much got your work cut off for you. "

You sigh and reluctantly agree, knowing that you can't back out of the bet now. You walk over to Vada Cavell, who is sitting with a blonde-haired girl at a table, engrossed in her phone.

"Hi, Vada. You got a second?" You ask, trying to sound casual as you approach her. Vada looks up from her phone with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. Mia, the blonde-haired girl, drops her jaw at the sight of you. You send her a small smile.

"Hi, Mia. I saw your soccer video on Instagram. "It was really impressive," you compliment, trying to make small talk. Vada raises an eyebrow, while Mia blushes. "You watch my videos?"

"You don't play soccer." Vada states matter-of-factly, glaring at her best friend. Mia looks sheepish, realizing your mistake. "Oh, sorry." You tell Mia who quickly brushes off the comment with a dismissive wave.

"So, Vada, listen," you begin, trying to redirect the conversation. "I was wondering maybe if you wanna..." Vada quickly stands up, interrupting you. "Let's go, Mia."

Mia gives you an apologetic smile before following Vada, leaving you feeling slightly embarrassed and rejected. You sigh, realizing that your attempt to ask Vada out didn't go as planned. "...embarrass me horribly in front of all these people?" You finish trailing off to yourself. You look back at Jordan, who's bending over, trying to stop himself from laughing so hard.

With a tight-lipped smile, you send him the finger, knowing that he's enjoying your embarrassment a little too much.

This was a bet, and you needed to win it. It wasn't like you were failing any of your classes, but you were tired of all the math homework Mr. Smith kept assigning. Plus, you'd love to see the defeated look on Jordan's face after Vada, and you successfully convinced your parents you found yourself a girlfriend.

In order to win this bet, you had to text Mia through Instagram direct messages and ask her where you could find Vada after school. Mia sent you a screenshot of Vada's Find My Phone, showing her location in a downtown park. You knew this was your chance to prove Jordan wrong and finally have some peace from Mr. Smith's math assignments.

Vada's eyes widen as she sees you walking closer to her, regardless, you send her your charming smile, which she doesn't reciprocate. "You know stalking is illegal in all 50 states, right?" Vada says, her voice laced with caution.

You quickly assure her that you were just trying to find her so you could talk. "I apologize if it seemed like stalking, but I genuinely wanted to have a conversation with you," you explain, hoping to ease her concerns.

"I'm not smart." Vada admits her eyes never leave yours. "What?" You breathe out a laugh, confused. "What? You think that I can tutor you or something?" Vada continues, a hint of vulnerability in her voice. "You're probably thinking, Oh, there's Vada, she dresses like a hippie—"

"Vada."

"—Barely has any friends."

"Vada."

"—She must at least be smart." You cut her off gently, placing a hand on her arm. "Vada, I have the fourth highest GPA in our grade." Vada looks at you with surprise evident in her eyes. "Really?" she asks, her voice filled with disbelief.

"Yes, really," you reply reassuringly. "It's true." You slightly jump at the sudden voice. Turning around, you see Vada's other best friend, Nick, sitting a few feet away.

"So what do you want? Is this some sort of dork outreach program?" Vada asks, rolling her eyes. "No, Vada," you say calmly, trying to hide your frustration. "I just wanted to hang out."

Vada raises an eyebrow, skeptical of your intentions. "Just hang out? With us?" she questions, her tone still laced with doubt. You nod, hoping to convince her that you genuinely want to enjoy their company. "Yeah, I thought it would be fun to get to know some new people," you explain, hoping she'll give you a chance.

"Sure, me and Vada were about to go to this stand-up comedy club. You can have my ticket if you want." Nick shrugs, ignoring the confused glare from his best friend.

Vada looks at Nick in surprise, clearly not expecting him to offer his ticket. "Really? You're giving up your ticket for her?" she asks, very confused. Nick shrugs again, flashing a grin while he holds out his ticket for you.

You take the ticket with a grateful smile, "Thank you, Nick. Are you sure? I could just buy my own if you want to go too." Nick shakes his head, "Nah, I've gotta go study for my presentation anyway." His phone chimes right after, and he quickly checks it, confirming his need to leave.

"Well, have fun at the club! Let me know how it goes," he says before hurriedly walking away. You watch him go, feeling a mix of gratitude and curiosity about why he would give up his ticket for you.

You send Vada a smile, "I guess I'm your plus one tonight." Vada narrows her eyes at you, still confused about why you, one of the most popular students in school, is so fascinated with her. "I'm still confused about why you're putting on this act. Are you trying to impress someone, or is there another reason behind it?"

You furrow your eyebrows, letting out a small laugh. "Are you always this skeptical? I assure you, there's no ulterior motive. I simply wanted to enjoy your company and spend the evening with you." Vada's expression softens slightly, but she still seems hesitant.

"Well, we should get going." Vada mumbles, brushing a small strand of hair behind her ear.

You follow Vada down the slightly busy streets, neon lights illuminating the sidewalks as people bustle by. You can't help but notice Vada's occasional glances in your direction, her guarded demeanor slowly melting away.

"I like your jewelry." It's unique and really suits your style," you comment, trying to ease the tension. Vada's face lights up with a genuine smile as she thanks you for the compliment.

"Do you always wear that letterman jacket? You look like you came straight out of a 90s movie." Vada says, laughing softly. "Oh, are you going to be an act too for this stand-up comedy thing?" You ask, joking.

"But, yeah, it's kind of my signature look," you reply with a chuckle. "I've always been drawn to that vintage aesthetic." Vada nods, her curiosity evident as she asks, "So, what other things inspire your style?"

"I don't know... I normally thrift a lot of my clothes," you admit. "Whether it's someone's old band t-shirt or their grandpa's old sweater, I love finding unique pieces. I also take inspiration from old photographs and films, especially from the 60s and 70s."

Vada smiles, clearly intrigued by your explanation. "I'm not a huge fashion before myself, but I don't know, I just like to be comfortable." You glance down at Vada's baggy attire, noticing the loose-fitting jeans and oversized hoodie.

"I totally get that," you reply. "Comfort is definitely important, and there's no right or wrong way to express yourself through fashion. It's all about finding what makes you feel good." Vada nods in agreement, playing with the drawstring on her hoodie.

There's an awkward silence as the comedian fails to deliver the punchline of his joke. Vada laughs in her own hand, trying not to be too loud. You can't help but smile as you glance at the shorter girl, confused. You lean into her ear, "I'm so confused. How was that funny?"

Vada chuckles and whispers back, "It wasn't. It was funny how no one was laughing." You glance around the room before laughing a bit yourself. She was right. Seeing the confused looks on everyone's faces made the situation even more amusing. It was as if the entire audience collectively missed the punchline.

You begin laughing even harder, unable to contain your amusement. The more you think about it, the funnier it becomes. Vada joins in on your laughter, hiding her face behind her hand as tears of laughter stream down her face.

"Why are you laughing, huh? You think it's easy to stand up here and try and do something you love?" The male comedian asks you, obviously upset that you're laughing at his expense. You quickly compose yourself, glancing at Vada, whose eyes are wide as she smiles, trying not to laugh again.

You raise your hand, trying to apologize for the misunderstanding, but the comedian interrupts you. "Well, if you think it's so easy, why don't you come up here and give it a shot?" he challenges, pointing towards the stage.

You shake your head with a tiny smile on your lips. "Come on, come up here." You squint your eyes as a light begins to shine on you from the stage. The audience starts cheering and encouraging you to take the comedian's challenge.

You look at Vada, "Go!" She says this, smiling as she pushes you from your seat. Reluctantly, you take a deep breath and make your way towards the stage, your heart beating in your chest. The comedian hands you the microphone with a smug look on his face.

Your shaky hands take the microphone, "Uh..." Your voice trembles as you try to gather your thoughts. You glance at an audience member who has a gutair strapped around their shoulder, and a lightbulb goes off in your head. "I'm not a comedian, but I can try and entertain you all another way."

With a nervous smile, you motion towards the audience member with the guitar, saying, "Can I borrow that for a second?" The audience member hesitates for a moment, but then nods and hands you the guitar. You place the microphone on its stand before stepping forward and strumming a few chords to test the sound.

"Something bad is bout' to happen to me. Why I feel this way, I don't know, baby." You sing with a raspy voice, closing your eyes and letting the music take over.

The crowd falls silent, captivated by the raw emotion in your performance. Vada is shocked, her eyes widening as she watches you on stage. She had no idea you could sing.

"I think of her so much it drives me crazy. I just don't want her to leave me."

You continue to sing Steve Lacy's iconic lyrics, pouring your heart out on stage. You hit the high notes, sending chills down the spines of everyone in the audience. This was much better than the comedy act they were just witnessing.

When you finish the song, Vada's the first one standing up and clapping, with others soon following. You open your eyes to see the crowd on their feet, their applause echoing through the venue. The look of surprise and admiration on Vada's face is priceless, and you can't help but smile broadly.

You push open the door to leave the club and are immediately greeted by a rush of cool night air. "That was so awesome! Just like...going up there and performing in front of all those people, it's such a rush," you exclaim, your eyes still shining with excitement.

Vada nods, her dimples deepening as she grins. "I never expected you to be such a natural on stage. It's like you were born to perform," she says, her voice filled with genuine admiration.

The two of you stop walking as you reach the edge of the sidewalk, taking a moment to catch your breath and let the adrenaline settle. The city lights twinkle above you, casting a magical glow on the vibrant streets below.

You glance over to Vada, and she glances back at you with a faint smile playing on her lips. "You hungry?" You ask, gesturing towards a nearby food truck. The tantalizing aroma of sizzling street food fills the air, making your stomach growl in response. Vada's eyes light up at the suggestion, and she nods eagerly, her excitement matching your own.

Vada smiles, her hair blowing in the wind due to the drop-top on your convertible. It's been three weeks since the comedy club, but the memory of that night still brings a smile to your face. The chemistry between you and Vada is undeniable, and you can't help but wonder what other adventures await the two of you.

Kali Uchis blasts through your speakers, filling the car with her soulful melodies. The warm sun kisses your skin as you drive along the scenic coastal road, creating the perfect backdrop for a carefree summer day.

You catch a glimpse of Vada through the side mirror, her hair blowing in the wind, and a contagious laugh escaping her lips. The connection between you two feels effortless, as if you've known each other for years.

"I just wanna get high with my lover!" Vada sings along to the lyrics, and you join in, "Veo una muñeca cuando miro en el espejo!"

Vada leans in closer to you, kissing your cheek gently while she sings more of the lyrics. "Kiss, kiss! Looking dolly, I think I might go out tonight. I just wanna ride get high in the moonlight."

The song proceeds to play, and your singing becomes more enthusiastic, matching Vada's energy. You both dance and laugh, completely lost in the moment. Soon, you both arrive at the beach, your phone ringing as you step outside the car.

"Hello?" You answer the phone and hear Jordan's voice on the other end. "Y/N! Where are you? I just stopped by your house, and you weren't there. I wanted to hang out tonight."

Vada waits patiently for you to end the phone call, holding all of your stuff in her hands.

"Oh, I'm uh...I'm not home right now." You mumble into the phone, scratching your nose. "Well, no shit. Where are you?"

"I'm actually at the beach with Vada," you reply, glancing at Vada, who raises an eyebrow curiously. "But maybe we can hang out tomorrow." You can basically hear the grin on Jordan's face.

"The beach, huh? You and Vada have been hanging out nearly every damn day. Don't tell me you're actually enjoying this bet, Y/LN." You chuckle and respond, "Goodbye, Jordan."

You quickly end the call, sending Vada a smile. You take the items from her hands, thankful for her help. As you start setting up your spot on the beach, Vada asks, "So, what did Jordan want?"

"To bother me," you reply with a dismissive wave. "He's always trying to pry into my business." Vada raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued, but respects your privacy and doesn't press further. A part of you feels bad for becoming friends with Vada under such circumstances. She was a chill and easygoing person, and you found yourself truly enjoying yourself around her.

You couldn't help but wonder if you should tell her about the bet going on between you and Jordan or if you should just end the friendship altogether. It was a difficult decision to make, as you didn't want to risk losing the connection you had with Vada, but at the same time, keeping such a secret felt dishonest.

"Hey, where's the pump for this?" Vada asks, holding up the beach ball you packed with the rest of the beach gear. You smile, grateful for the distraction from your internal dilemma, and point her in the direction of the pump, except it's not there.

"Oh, shit." You frantically search through the beach bag, realizing that you must have forgotten to pack the pump. "Here, I'll just blow into it." You offer, trying to come up with a quick solution. However, as you start blowing into the beach ball, you quickly realize that it's going to take a lot more effort than you anticipated.

You feel yourself getting lightheaded as you continue to blow into the beach ball, desperately trying to inflate it. Vada giggles at your struggle, you send her a playful glare, but her laughter only encourages you to keep going.

"What if we take turns?" Vada suggests, hoping to alleviate some of the strain on you. You gratefully agree, handing her the faintly inflated beach ball. You expect her to wipe off the ball since your mouth was in fact directly on it, but she doesn't seem to mind.

Your heart begins racing. You basically just shared a kiss with Vada, even if it was through a beach ball. The thought of it sends a rush of excitement through your veins.

Vada hands you the ball back, slightly out of breath. You smile, hesitating for a moment before placing your lips on the ball again. After a while, the ball is fully inflated, and you both start tossing it back and forth, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

"Don't let it drop!" Vada yells out, her laughter echoing across the beach. You run as fast as you can, determined to keep the ball in the air. The sand squishes between your toes as you dive to smack it back into the air. The sound of the ball hitting your palm fills the air, creating a rhythmic pattern that matches the beat of your racing heart.

"God, do you play volleyball?" Vada asks, her eyes widening with excitement. You shake your head, catching your breath, and reply, "No, but I guess I could give it a try!"

You smack the ball a bit too hard, and it flies over Vada's head, landing in the sand behind her. She turns around, a playful grin on her face, and says, "I'm definitely not getting that." You chuckle, running over to retrieve the ball. Before you can, someone kicks it away, sending it rolling further down the beach.

"The fuck—" you stop yourself, looking up and noticing Jordan. Jordan, with a mischievous smirk on his face, shrugs and says, "Oops, my bad! Thought I'd give you a challenge."

"What are you doing here?" you ask, slightly annoyed by Jordan's interference. He chuckles and replies, "Just enjoying the beach with my friends."

You look behind him, noticing he's brought company—some of your friends and other people you've hung around with before. They wave at you, smiling and clearly excited to see you. Jordan adds, "We thought it would be fun to have a little gathering here. Hope you don't mind."

You narrow your eyes at your best friend. "You're an asshole. You're only doing this because I told you I was hanging out with Vada here." Jordan raises an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Come on, don't be like that. It's just a coincidence that you're both here too."

You let out a sigh, realizing that Jordan's actions were most likely intentional. Despite feeling annoyed, you decide to put aside your frustration and make the best of the situation. "Alright, fine. Now go get my beach ball."

Jordan smirks, clearly enjoying the power he holds over you. "Sure thing, but only if you promise to introduce me to Vada later." You roll your eyes, knowing that Jordan's ulterior motives are far from innocent.

You walk over to Vada, plopping down beside her on her towel. She looks up at you with a smile, unaware of the tension between you and Jordan. "Sorry about that. He just invited himself...and everyone else."

Vada smiles, shaking her head. "It's okay. If we're going to be friends, I'd have to meet your other friends anyway." You chuckle, relieved that Vada doesn't seem bothered by Jordan's presence.

You begin unbuttoning your shirt, feeling a bit hot in it, leaving you in your white tank top. Vada glances over at you, her eyes lingering for a moment before she looks away, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks.

Jordan walks over and throws the beach ball, obviously aiming to hit your face. You quickly catch it, sending your best friend a glare. Jordan lets out a silly laugh, clearly enjoying the playful banter. Vada raises an eyebrow at Jordan's antics, but her smile remains intact as she watches the interaction between the two of you.

"Someone has the guns out." Austin, another one of your friends says, walking toward the group with a mischievous grin. You roll your eyes at his comment, playfully flexing your muscles in response.

"You mean these?" You flex your biceps, exaggerating the muscles for comedic effect. Austin chuckles and nods, teasingly adding, "Yeah, those tiny peashooters." You playfully throw the ball at him, pretending to be offended by his remark.

"Alright, stop showing off in front of the pretty lady." Jordan teases, winking at Vada. Vada's face breaks into confusion, as she wonders if Jordan's comment was meant as a compliment or a joke. She looks at Austin for clarification, who shrugs and smirks, leaving her even more uncertain about the situation.

"Let's play a full game of volleyball," Austin suggests, picking up the beachball that had been thrown at him. Vada eagerly agrees, grateful for the distraction from the awkward tension between Jordan and herself.

You all split into two teams, with Vada and Jordan on one side and Austin and you on the other. Jordan serves the ball with a powerful swing, causing Austin to dive to the sand to make a save.

"Stop trying so hard, bitch!" Austin yells at Jordan with a smile on his lips. Jordan laughs, brushing off the comment with a playful smirk. The friendly banter between them lightens the atmosphere, allowing everyone to relax and enjoy the game even more.

Mid-game, Vada takes off her slightly baggy shirt, which she tied with a knot at the front, revealing her bikini. You notice Jordan staring at Vada, his eyes lingering on her, causing jealousy to rise within you.

You smack the ball against Jordan's head, catching him off guard and breaking his gaze. He glares at you, earning a shrug, as you innocently raise your hands in defense. "You had a bug on your head."

You're dropping Vada off at her house after the game when she turns to you with a smile. "Thanks for saving me from Jordan's ogling," she says, playfully nudging your arm. "I owe you one."

You smile, blushing a bit. "You saw that?" You ask, your eye's widening slightly. Vada chuckles and nods, her eyes twinkling mischievously. "Oh, I definitely saw that. You were like my personal superhero swooping in to save the day."

"Well, I couldn't let him make you uncomfortable," you reply, feeling a surge of protectiveness. "I'm always here to look out for you." Vada's smile widens, and she leans in closer. You glance behind her and say, "I could walk you to the door.

Vada blinks and looks at you, her expression softening. "Sure." You quickly get out of the car, making your way to Vada's side. Shoving your hands in your pockets to hide your nerves, you match Vada's pace as you both walk towards her front door. The night air is cool, but the warmth of Vada's presence makes it feel comforting.

"If you want, we could hang out tomorrow?" You ask, hoping to spend more time with Vada. Before she could respond, her front door flies open. A short figure emerges from the doorway, causing both you and Vada to pause. It's Vada's younger sister who greets you with a friendly smile.

"Hey, guys! What are you up to?" she asks, oblivious to the tension in the air.

"Oh my god, Amelia." Vada exclaims, clearly annoyed with her younger sister's interruption. Amelia shrugs innocently, not realizing the impact of her sudden appearance. Vada takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself before addressing the situation.

"Mom! Vada brought a lesbian home!" Amelia shouts, slightly turning her head towards her mother, who is in the next room.

Everyone freezes, unsure of how to react to Amelia's unexpected announcement. Vada's face turns red with embarrassment while you thin out your lips, confused and a bit amused.

Vada's mouth drops. "I am so sorry." She says to you, her voice filled with genuine remorse. You shrug her off while Amelia gasps. "Oh, are you not a lesbian?"

You chuckle, "Um...I do like girls." Before Amelia could press you for more information, Vada's mom appears in the doorway. "What's going on here?" she asks, her voice laced with worry. Vada quickly explains the situation, hoping to diffuse any potential tension.

"I was just dropping Vada off from the beach," you also add, trying to ease any concerns. "We were just having a casual conversation, nothing serious." Vada's mom looks relieved and nods understandingly.

"Well, as long as everyone is okay," she says with a smile. You exchange a grateful glance with Vada, grateful for her mom's understanding.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Vada's mom offers, wanting to extend her gratitude for your honesty and reassure you that everything is alright. You glance at Vada, who stares at her mom with a shocked expression. "That would be really nice," you respond, feeling touched by Vada's mom's kindness.

Dinner was fun. Amelia had no filter, which made everything hilarious and entertaining. She shared funny and embarrassing stories of Vada, which Vada tries to interrupt with playful protests. Despite the initial shock, Vada soon joins in on the laughter, realizing that her sister's antics brought out a huge and genuine smile on your face.

There were also serious moments during dinner where Vada's parents questioned you about your future plans and aspirations. They were genuinely interested in your goals and offered advice and support. It was refreshing to have such meaningful conversations with Vada's family, making you feel like a valued member of their circle.

You throw yourself on Vada's bed, falling face first onto the soft pillows. Vada plops on top of your back, laughing at your dramatic entrance. She soon rolls off of you, and you lay on your back, gazing up at the ceiling.

Vada was such a breath of fresh air in your life. Her carefree spirit is infectious, and you can't help but feel happy every single time you're around her.

She has a way of making even the simplest moments feel special, and her laughter is like music to your ears. Being friends with Vada has brought so much joy and light into your life, and you can't imagine what it would be like without her.

Fuck this bet, you think to yourself. Vada's friendship is worth so much more than any silly wager.

"You look deep in thought." Vada's voice interrupts your contemplation, pulling you back to the present moment. "What's on your mind?" she asks, her eyes filled with genuine concern.

You turn your head towards Vada, a small smile forming on your lips. "I was just thinking about how grateful I am to have you as a friend," you say sincerely. "Your friendship means the world to me."

"You're so sappy." Vada mumbles, laughing softly. You break out into a smile. "I'm pouring my heart out here, c'mon!" You tease playfully, putting on an Italian accent.

Vada rolls her eyes, but her smile betrays her amusement. "That was one of the worst Italian accents I've ever heard," she says, chuckling. "But...you mean a lot to me too."

You feel a warm rush of affection as Vada's words sink in. "I'm glad to hear that," you reply, licking your lips. A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you both bask in the genuine connection and shared vulnerability. Your eyes never leave each other, as if speaking a language that only the two of you understand.

"Is that all?" Vada breaks the silence. "Or is there something else you want to say?"

"Be my girlfriend?" Vada's eyes widen with surprise, and she stares at you. She takes a moment to process your words before responding, "Okay."

"I'm even more excited than I was." Jordan smiles, "I can't believe you got away with that." You shake your head at your best friend, an eye roll following.

"No, seriously. You asked her to be your girlfriend, it's barely been a month, and you didn't even kiss her after? Shits crazy."

You put the last plate on the table, "Shut the fuck up, Jordan."

Jordan chuckles, raising his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll drop it. But seriously, man, you might've won this bet. Still gotta get the parents approval, though."

You let out a sigh, saying, "Maybe we should drop this bet, man." Jordan raises an eyebrow, a mischievous grin forming on his face. "Are you getting cold feet already? Come on, don't tell me you're chickening out now."

You shoot him a glare but can't help but feel a twinge of doubt. "It's just... I don't want to risk ruining our friendship over some stupid bet." Jordan starts to smirk. "Oh shit, you actually caught feeling for her? You can't be serious."

You roll your eyes, trying to brush off Jordan's teasing. "So, what? She's a nice girl, and I don't want to mess things up with this stupid bet about her."

Jordan chuckles, bringing his fist to his mouth. "I can't believe you're actually considering backing out because of a little crush. You've never been one to shy away from a challenge before."

He sighs, adding to his argument. "How about this? If your parents go for it, we'll drop the bet. But if they don't, you have to tell her it was a bet and apologize for any hurt feelings. It's only fair to give her the truth and a chance to decide if she still wants to pursue a relationship with you."

"Fine." You mutter, leaving the room with a heavy sigh.

Vada arrives at your doorstep, a nervous smile on her face. She seems unaware of the bet that has been made and the doubts that have been plaguing you. As you open the door, you can't help but wonder if this could be the start of something real or if it's all just a game that will eventually come crashing down.

You bring Vada into a hug, mumbling into her ear, "I'm glad you're here." Vada returns the hug, sighing contentedly. You pull away, looking into her eyes.

"My dad is in the kitchen." Vada nods, hearing Bad Bunny blaring from the speakers. "Where's your mom?" You begin walking toward the kitchen, "She's in the living room, finishing up the tree. I'll introduce you to her later. Let's go say hi to my dad first." Vada smiles and follows you, playing with her ring as you lead the way.

"Una dominicana que es uva bombón!" Your dad shouts, singing the lyrics. Jordan joins in, singing the next line. "Uva, uva bombón!" You facepalm, shaking your head at their silliness. Vada giggles, clearly amused by their antics.

"Dad!" You shout, trying to regain their attention. "We have a guest here, remember?" Your dad and Jordan finally notice Vada standing there, and their faces light up with surprise and excitement. "Oh wow, who do we have here?" your dad asks, extending his hand towards Vada.

"This is Vada, my girlfriend." You introduce Vada with a smile. Vada returns the gesture, shaking your dad's hand warmly. "Girlfriend? Am I dreaming?" your dad exclaims, a wide grin spreading across his face. "I never thought I'd see the day! It's great to finally meet you, Vada."

You sigh at your father. "Es bonita, mija." You clear your throat, blushing a bit. "Suficiente papá." Your dad chuckles and playfully nudges you. "No need to be shy. I'm just happy to see you happy." Vada smiles warmly at both of you, grateful for the warm welcome.

Your mom walks in, her eyes widening with surprise as she takes in the scene. "Well, well, well," she says with a smirk. "Looks like someone finally found themselves a catch." You roll your eyes at your mom's teasing, but deep down, you appreciate her support and acceptance.

Vada begins talking to your parents while you excuse yourself to speak to Jordan. "Looks like I won the bet." You say with a playful smile, feeling a sense of triumph. Jordan chuckles and shakes his head, admitting defeat.

"Jordan, Y/N, come help me bring out the food." Your mom calls out, breaking the playful banter between you and Jordan. You both exchange amused glances before making your way to help her, Vada also joins, eager to lend a hand.

Jordan is the last to leave the kitchen, hearing your parents talk about Vada. "Crees que es otro truco?" Your dad asks your mom. Jordan leans against the kitchen counter, listening intently to your parents' conversation about Vada. He raises an eyebrow, curious about their suspicions.

"No lo sé, cariño. Parece genuino, no crees?" Your dad shrugs at your mother's question, contemplating the authenticity of Vada's intentions. Jordan rushes out to the dining room, catching you staring at Vada like a lovesick puppy.

"Y/N." Jordan calls out your name, interrupting your daydreaming and bringing you back to reality. You hum, nodding your head at him. "Can I talk to you for a second?" You nod and follow Jordan to a quieter corner of the room.

"I heard your parents talking about how they think this is a trick." He begins to smirk, "Maybe this bet may be mine anyways." You roll your eyes, tired of this stupid bet.

"Whatever bro. I just wanna eat and enjoy dinner without any drama." Jordan chuckles, his smirk fading slightly. "Come on, Y/N. You know it's all in good fun. Besides, it's not like Vada and you are actually gonna last." You raise an eyebrow at him, wondering what he's getting at.

"What do you mean by that?" you ask, leaning in closer to Jordan. "Are you trying to say that Vada and I don't have a real connection?" Jordan shrugs, a sneaky glint in his eyes. "I'm just saying, Y/N, relationships at our age rarely go the distance. But hey, prove me wrong."

You scoff at him, "Sure...whatever you say. Don't be shocked when Vada and I prove you wrong and end up together for the long haul." Jordan raises an eyebrow, his sneaky glint fading slightly. "Well, I guess time will tell," he concedes, a hint of doubt in his voice.

When dinner ends, everyone begins to clean up and put away the dishes. "Have you seen my AirPods anywhere?" you ask Jordan, hoping he might have seen them. "You left them in my car like an entire month ago."

You roll your eyes and playfully nudge him. "Seriously? You couldn't have mentioned that earlier?" Jordan chuckles and shrugs. "I guess I wanted to see how long it would take for you to realize they were missing."

"You're a dickhead."

"Language!" From the kitchen, your mom scolds, reminding you to watch your language. You sheepishly apologize and snatch Jordan's keys from him. He glares at you, pulling at his phone that began ringing in his pocket.

"Wanna get some air?" You ask Vada, gesturing towards the open front door. Vada nods, following behind you as you step outside. "Your parents are nice. They're pretty chill, and your mom is honestly like drop-dead gorgeous."

You chuckle. "Do I have to compete with my mom for your attention now?" Vada laughs and playfully nudges you. "Nah, don't worry. You're more than enough for me."

You walk to Jordan's car, leaning against it as you wait for Vada to join you. "Wanna sit in the car?" You suggest, knowing that it might be more comfortable than standing outside. Vada considers for a moment before agreeing, "Sure, why not? It's a bit chilly out here." You both settle into the car, leaning back in the back leather seats.

Silence falls between you as you take in the peacefulness of the moment.

You look over at Vada, a soft smile playing on your lips. Vada turns her head to you before sitting up in her seat, leaning forward slightly. Her eyes fall to your lips, staring at them intently.

Without thinking, she leans in closer, capturing your lips with a gentle yet passionate kiss. The warmth of her touch sends a shiver down your spine, and you find yourself lost in the moment, forgetting about the chilly weather outside.

The kiss begins to deepen as Vada's hands slide up to cup your face, pulling you even closer. You find yourself melting against her lips, savoring the taste of her soft, sweet breath.

You pull away, breathless and hot, your heart racing as you lock eyes with Vada. "Can I turn on the A/C?" You mutter to the freckled-faced girl. Vada chuckles but nods regardless.

You put the key in the ignition and start the car, the engine purring to life. The cool air from the A/C quickly fills the car, providing a refreshing contrast to the heated moment that just transpired.

You bring Vada into another kiss, more passionate and urgent than before. The intensity between you both grows as you explore each other's mouths, losing yourselves in the heat of the moment. Your hand is tangled in Vada's hair, pulling her closer to you if that were possible.

"Y/N's still doing that bet with Vada?" You recognize that voice, it was Austin. You pull away from Vada, your eyes falling on Jordan's car screen, confirming he was on the phone with Austin. It must've connected to the car automatically, allowing Austin's voice to fill the car.

You quickly release Vada and feel a rush of embarrassment wash over you. You exchange a nervous glance with Vada, hoping Austin doesn't go in detail about the bet you've been participating in.

"It's silly, really. This all started because she didn't wanna do her math homework? So she decided to start dating baby Adam Sandler and introduce her to her parents? That's pretty fucked up. If I were Vada, I'd be pissed."

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath to steady your racing heart. The weight of Austin's words hangs heavy in the air. You hope that Vada understands that it was all just a silly game and that she won't hold it against you.

"Is he serious? A bet? Am I a bet to you?" You feel a knot forming in your stomach as Vada's voice trembles with hurt and disbelief. The realization hits you like a ton of bricks, and you quickly shake your head, desperately trying to find the right words to explain yourself.

"Am I a fucking bet to you?" Vada's voice cracks with anger, and tears well up in her eyes. The pain in her words cuts deep, leaving you speechless and filled with regret. You reach out to touch her arm, hoping to convey your sincerity and remorse, but the damage may already be done.

Vada pushes away your arm, opening the car door and slamming it shut behind her. Her actions speak louder than words, and you watch helplessly as she walks away, leaving you to grapple with the consequences of your thoughtless words.

Jordan rushes to the driver's side of the door, out of breath. "Did she hear?" Jordan asks, panting as he rests his hand on the car door. The worry in his eyes mirrors your own as you shake your head, uncertain of how to fix the mess you've made. "She did."

It's been two days, and you've called Vada's phone and sent multiple texts, but there's been no response. The silence only amplifies your guilt and regret as you desperately hope for a chance to apologize and make things right.

You decide to call her house phone, surprised when someone answers. "Mrs. Cavell?" You ask on the phone, hoping to speak with Vada's mother. "It's Amelia, asshole. Don't call again."

You're bewildered by the harsh response from Amelia. You never expected her to be so angry and hostile toward you. "Amelia, please. Just put your sister on the phone."

You plead, hoping to reason with Amelia and convince her to let you speak with Vada. However, Amelia's voice remains firm and cold as she refuses your request, leaving you feeling even more desperate and regretful.

"If I buy you $100 worth of slime supplies, will you let me talk to Vada?" you offer, trying to find a compromise. But Amelia's response is immediate and resolute, "No amount of slime supplies will change my mind. Don't contact us again."

"Fine! $200!" you exclaim, desperation creeping into your voice. Amelia stays silent for a moment, finally giving in. "Our parents are out. If you come over, you have ten minutes to speak to her." Relief washes over you as Amelia finally agrees to let you talk to Vada, even if it means spending more money.

With a renewed sense of urgency, you quickly make plans to rush over to their house within the given time frame, hoping that this opportunity will help mend the strained relationship between you and Vada.

You burst through Vada's room, and she jumps up in surprise, her eyes widening as she takes in your unexpected presence. "I'm on limited time by your sister, so I have to make this quick."

You take a deep breath, walking closer to Vada. "I made that bet before I met you, Vada. And spending time with you made me realize that winning that bet was not what was important anymore. What matters to me now is repairing our relationship and showing you how much you mean to me."

Vada's expression softens as she listens, her guard slowly starting to come down. "I never wanted to hurt you, Vada. I want us to start fresh and build something real together."

"What was it for anyway? I mean, what did you end up losing?" Vada asks, her curiosity piqued. You take another step closer before continuing. "I lost a lot of things, Vada. I lost your trust, our connection, and the chance to truly be there for you. But what I gained was the realization that you are the most important person in my life and the one girl that my parents truly approve of."

Vada stands up, playing with the bottom of her shirt. She looks down for a moment, deep in thought, before finally meeting your gaze. "Don't make me sing again." You jokingly mutter, looking down at the shorter girl.

Vada's eyes widen, and a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips. "No, not this time," she says playfully. "But I do expect you to make it up to me in some other way."

You smile, leaning down and lifting Vada's chin with your finger. Vada glances at your lips before looking back up into your eyes. You smirk before closing the distance between you, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

Your worries fade away, drowning in the sound of your heart pounding against your ribcage. Vada's arms wrap around your neck, pulling you closer, and you can't help but let out a content sigh against her lips.

As you pull away, Vada's cheeks flush with a rosy hue, and she bites her lip, opening her mouth to speak but is interrupted. "Ten minutes is up. Where's my $200?" Amelia says from Vada's door, holding out her hand expectantly.

Vada pulls away from you, confused. "What is she talking about?" You clear your throat. "I might've...um...made a deal with Amelia so she could let me talk to you."

Vada's eyes widen in surprise as she processes your words. "You paid her to see me?" she asks, laughing. You smile sheepishly, "Well, I wanted to make sure I had a chance to talk to you without any interruptions. It was worth every penny."

Vada's laughter fills the room as she playfully nudges your shoulder, "You're ridiculous, but I'm glad you did."

#tonyspank #wattpad #jenna ortega x reader #reader insert #vada cavell x reader #vada cavell x y/n #vada cavell #vada cavell x you #vada x y/n #vada cavell x fem reader #vada x reader #she’s all that

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hyunjinners · 4 months

Text

𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘 - Stray Kids Headcanons

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 - During a serious argument he attacks you, raising his voice with hurtful words. || 𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 - hyung_line¡ x fem!reader || 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗥𝗘 - angst, sad, established relationship, fights. || 𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 - possible trigger, fight, offensive words (maybe swearing? idk) || 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗦 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 - ?? (I got a little carried away ;) || 𝗔/𝗡 - I really love sad themes, I think it makes me immerse myself in the story in a cool way. Remembering that these are just fictitious situations and that nothing in this chapter matches reality, in other words, just an imaginary scenario created by a fan, nothing is linked to the boys' real attitudes or personalities! Hope you like it, Remembering that English is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any grammatical and/or spelling errors. Have a good read! feedbacks are welcome. 🤍🌼

⊹₊˚ʚ❛masterlist❜ɞ

𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍 ¡!

You two are definitely what people identify as the perfect couple, always understanding and understanding each other, But that doesn't mean you don't have your differences. You guys don't really like to fight, usually just silly fights or small vows of silence that are eliminated at the end of the day with a warm hug and kisses with vows of love. Chan wasn't one to raise his voice and neither were you, but perhaps due to the stress of the day, this discussion became loud and noisy.

You just wanted to spend time with him, as you were busy with your work throughout the week and barely got to see each other, but he just tried to explain how much he needed to finish reviewing some tracks and that he was too tired to do that. You rebutted tiresome arguments until he simply exploded at you, "CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE? SHIT! I just want you out of here, can't you see that I never wanted you here?" He shouted at you and you remained static in your place. Your eyes widen and you can't swallow the lump that forms in your throat. You couldn't speak, in pure shock and, as incredible as it may seem, he was no different. Regret and worry fill his chest in an overwhelming way instantly and he feels nothing short of guilty.

He opened his mouth, stammering failed attempts at an apology, his eyes glistening with tears that matched yours, that overflowed and ran down his face. Chan's heart sank as he realized that the cause behind your tears was him, wishing you would realize that he didn't really mean it. "...all good. I'll leave you alone, if that's what you want." You spoke softly, unable and tired of debating with him. "No- love…I'm sorry, I- that's not what I meant, please…" He whispered, trying to get to you, but it was too late. You were leaving his apartment with a broken heart and a new insecurity hanging over you, wondering if during your relationship he had thoughts like this, if he felt uncomfortable with your presence. It could have been a misunderstood mistake for Chan, words spoken without thinking that he bitterly regrets, but for you, it was a new milestone in your relationship.

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 ¡!

Your relationship from the outside has always seemed a little strange. Minho is not the type to show affection in public and loves to make jokes to annoy you, but you know he means nothing and you know he respects and loves you above all else, so you never really cared about it, always taking it in stride. However, this nagging side of him gains strength when it comes to arguments and you find it particularly irritating. He has a strong temper during fights, being stubborn in his ideas and opinions, making it impossible for you to reach an agreement. You don't fight often, but when it happens, it takes you days to resolve it, out of sheer stubbornness and pride on both sides.

The stray kids' comeback was just around the corner, less than a month away and everything was moving quickly. Minho, who has always been committed to his work, he was working hard this week and his mood was technically sensitive, so to speak. You, being a good and understanding girlfriend that you are, He thought about something throughout the week to try to alleviate some of his tension, usually affection placed on your private person made everything better.

When he didn't show up at the dinner you prepared especially for him, you tried to be understanding because you knew Minho's physical and mental exhaustion. It was almost midnight when he appeared tired and sullen. He had stated that he would arrive on time, so you asked him why he was late. You remained calm throughout the conversation, but when he said he preferred to go out to eat with the boys and forgot about you, you felt the burning start to rise in your throat, "Minho, I really don't understand you. I really tried hard to see the good in you and you just act dismissive like it's nothing, as if we were nothing…” the anger was evident in your voice, but you couldn’t fight back, and apparently neither could he. He sits on the living room couch, leaning with his elbows resting on his knees as he runs his hands over his face and hair. He stands up looking into your eyes and you could see a different glow in his eyes, he was exhausted and angry.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOU'RE SO NEEDY! I'm tired of this, if you're going to be clingy like this, stay far away from me." Her eyes flutter unconsciously, your vision blurred by the tears that accumulate. You bite your lip in an attempt to contain them, you didn't want to cry in front of him. Minho clenches his fists as he slowly watches your reaction, scared of himself. He couldn't say anything, but you knew he wanted you to stay. He was sorry. You let out a shaky breath nodding your head, “right… whatever you want.” Minho felt helpless watching you forcefully close the door of a now cold and empty apartment, his absence making him feel incomplete. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn't find words in his mind, only the fear of losing you, because he knew it was all his fault. And you, the uncertain doubt as to whether this would be a lasting relationship.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍 ¡!

You have been friends since you were very young, always supporting and helping each other and that was a good reason for you to almost never fight and if you do, They make up very quickly, reaching a consensus that they both made a mistake at some point. He was always very sweet, so usually he would apologize first, unsure that maybe you would abandon him and that hasn't changed since he asked you to be his girlfriend. And that fact scared you because of what happened. He was never really jealous, it was more like fear and insecurity, but you always assured him that you loved him and he always trusted you. But this time it was different and you didn't understand where it came from. You have been invited to an alumni reunion at your old school where you graduated from high school.

You met many old colleagues but there was one in particular that you both were somewhat uncomfortable with. The boy was an ex-boyfriend of his and tried to start a conversation with you. The atmosphere during the event got a little heavy when he clearly looked at you in a way that made you uncomfortable. At the end of it all, Changbin rushed you home and when they arrived you immediately questioned him, worried about his change in mood. Of course, you weren't stupid, you knew everything was involved in this specific situation, but you were still worried about whether he would be okay. You thought he was angry because the guy was clearly inconvenient, but when he confronted you asking why you were paying attention to him you were confused.

It was supposed to be just a conversation, but it all piled up and became a noisy mess. You didn't want to change, but he knew it was unfair for him to place non-existent blame on you and he wanted to defend himself. "Binnie, I don't understand what I did. I swear I-"

"Don't you understand?" He interrupts you, anger overwhelming him and making his next words come out unconsciously, "YOU WERE CLEARLY HITTING ON HIM! I don't even know why I'm still wasting time being with you, honestly." Silence. You watch him in silence. You felt like you didn't need to say anything else because apparently everything that was stuck in your throats was carelessly deposited one above the other, weight forming on your back. Still scared by his response, you pick up your bag that was on the coffee table and quickly walk towards the entrance. You stop abruptly when you feel your wrist held by Changbin, strong but still light so you can let go. "My love, please- I, I don't know what came over me... forgive me but please don't go." Tears roll uncontrollably down Changbin's face and it makes his heart hurt even more, but you remember that he was the reason your heart was broken in the first place. "...I need to get away from you for today, Changbin." You go out. Now there were two hearts broken by an insecurity that unconsciously generated another.

𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍 ¡!

Hyunjin is definitely a hopeless romantic, so it's almost impossible for you two to fight. Of course, there is no perfect relationship, but your fights, If you can call it that, they are small arguments over silly things and, if they fight over something serious, It's discredited in a short time since you can't stand being away from each other, especially if you're fighting. You've been together for almost a year, but even with this considerable passage of time, Hyunjin hasn't taken you to meet his parents. Of course, you didn't care so much, you knew and respected the limits imposed by Hyunjin, knowing that he just wanted to be sure if it was meant to be. But with your one year anniversary approaching, you couldn't help but feel a little insecure, naughty thoughts about herself invading her head like an avalanche of worries.

It was quite late when you were sitting in your room studying as usual. You were so immersed in your duty that you missed the sound of the front door. Not long later, you hear the clanking of dishes in the kitchen and notice Hyunjin's presence. Entering the kitchen, you watch him prepare some ramen for himself, a tired expression was visible on his face and sighs constantly left his lips. He looked exhausted and your heart squeezed seeing him like this. He doesn't seem to notice his presence, huffing impatiently at the water that was heating up. You surround him from behind, your arms hugging his waist and placing your head on his shoulder. He trembles a little from the fright, leaving it a little stiff. "Hey, my love. Relax, it's me." You laugh, patting his right shoulder.

"Sorry, I'm really tired today, y/n." He walks away to get the cutlery from the cabinet, you sigh, moving away to respect his space. "You know, Jinnie… I've been thinking and our anniversary is coming up, in less than a week." He looks at you for a few seconds, seeing where you're going and then goes back to what he's doing. Okay, his disdain brought a small pang to her heart. "And I thought maybe, just maybe, Can you take me to meet your parents." His voice was a little louder than a whisper and he stopped what he was doing. He ran his hand abruptly through his hair, looking at her with a different light in his eyes. "Look, I just want to eat this ramen and sleep, I don't have time to listen to that shit again." You were trying to be understanding, but you insisted. “I know, but- but I’m afraid you’re… ashamed of me. That's why I'm insisting on the matter. I know you're tired-"

"SO WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? If you're well aware that you're being a pain in the ass, just shut up and leave," he says all this with a humorless laugh on his lips, "Maybe I don't really want to take her to meet my parents, maybe this will make me rethink whether our relationship is really worth it." That was the last straw to spill the water in his cup of anxiety. You could no longer blame it on tiredness. You didn't mind crying in front of him, but you felt helpless. You take a step back, uselessly drying your tears. You go up and grab your bag quickly, heading towards the main door, not bothering to look back. Hyunjin pulls her towards him, lightly holding your arms and looking into your eyes. "My love, please, please don't, don't go! I was wrong, I- I really shouldn't have said that-"

"But you said it, and you can't take it back. I'm going to sleep at my friend's house. I want to get away from you as soon as possible." You cut him off, now you were the one who was tired. You hurt him too, but he cut you first and plunged the knife deep into the wound.

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𝗔/𝗡 - I'll be posting the maknae line soon! I confess that I didn't intend to write something long, but I really can't write something with less than 500 words 😭 I hope you liked it. Please don't forget to leave comments, I'm happy when I hear your opinion on my chapters ;) like × reblog!¡ original by:: @hyunjinners ^-^

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idyllic-ghost · 1 year

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omggg.... i want cheol to like punish and fuck me into subspace like over and over again till i cry and start begging him to stop... damn idk... each time i see cheol i feel like i want him to just degrade me like i'll be such a brat just to test his patience (then regret it ahahha maybe) but his aftercare would be so worth it thou tbh coz he's lowkey a softie

i mean just look at him... so husband material (imma go cry now coz i know i cant have him 😭)

also no pressure thou!!! i'm still reading all of your other stories and so far ITS REALLY GOODDDD!!❤❤ KEEP WRITINGG🥰

hiihihih s.coups <33

s.coups x gn!reader

cw: degradation, praise, implied that reader goes into subspace, scoups is cocky as usual (pun intended)

"Can you take more for me, baby?", Seungcheol mumbled.

"Too much...", you whined.

The two of you had been here for hours, and he had been fucking you into the mattress for that entire time. You couldn't remember how many times he had made you cum. All because you had decided to tease him while the two of you were out.

"You were so eager before, what happened?", he grinned.

"I'm sorry, Cheol", you gripped his shoulders and dug your nails into his skin.

"So you think you can act like a little slut and not get punished?", he slowed down his movements, "Have I been spoiling you too much?"

You shook your head, too lost to speak. Seungcheol cupped your face in his palm, silently asking if you were okay. You smiled at him, pressing a quick kiss to his palm. He picked up the pace for me.

"Cum one more time for me", he hummed, "You can do that, can't you? You're a good little whore, aren't you?"

Seungcheol's hand traveled between your bodies to your clit. The coil in your stomach tightened for the umpteenth time. Your hands pulled on his hair as you started drifting off in that warm, fuzzy feeling. As your mouth fell open in a silent plea, Seungcheol leaned down and whispered in your ear:

"Cum for me, sweetheart"

Your body spasmed as you came around his cock, your body going limp, and a smile growing on your lips. All thoughts disappeared in your brain, and you could barely hear Seungcheol talking to you.

"Baby, come back to me", he murmured softly.

His body was on top of yours, slightly hovering so as to not put his entire weight on you. Seungcheol kissed your cheek, trying to bring you back to reality.

"You did so good for me", he praised, "I love you"

"Mhm...", you hummed, "thank you"

"Are you okay? Do you need me to help you to the bathroom?", he asked softly.

"Just stay here for a bit first?", you muttered, "You're so warm"

"Okay, baby", he chuckled, "Just a bit longer"

Hard hours are open !

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moodywyrm · 1 year

Text

bookish lil crush

college au! Abby Anderson x bookworm! reader

she is occupying my every thought I want her so bad but here!!! a lil series of thoughts I had about abby bc she is so cute I wanna hold her hand. occasionally nsfw/suggestive at times so MDNI pls go away u can’t be here I'll block u

also listened to do I make you nervous by dreamer isioma while writing this! I am also!!! so down to talk about these books and other books pls talk to me about books in my asks I love reading so so much and so does abby! or talk about college abby bc she is rotting my brain away

wc: 1.7k im sorry idk how

Thinking so much about Abby developing the most debilitating crush on the cute girl in her class who is always early and always reading

Like one day she decides to show up to class earlier than usual, bc she usually gets there like 5min before class starts and gets stuck with weird seats or super packed aisles that had the only seat open and it really sucks

So out of spite she just starts showing up unreasonably early (1hr before class) to make sure she gets a good seat and low and behold there is no class in that room before her english class (bc I firmly believe she would do an english minor and like maybe kinesiology? I have not put too too much thought to her major but i would love to hear opinions!), so she gets her pick of the entire room!

She nestles into the third row bc it’s the perfect spot! Not too far back to be easily distracted but not immediately in front of the professor. I think she’d pick an end seat, but the ones next to the wall and not the aisle bc she knows she’s a bigger girl and she doesn’t want to make people like crawl over her to get a seat and she’s always super aware of how much space she takes up anyways

There she is! In her lil seat! An hour before class just hanging out! She’s checking her laptop and her phone and getting her note-taking situation set up and god she is so regretting not bringing like a book or something bc this is a lot of free time and it would be perfect for reading and then!!

Like fifteen minutes later you show up and she doesn’t really notice until you sit in the same row as her, a few seats down

She looks over and she is f l o o r e d bc who is this cutie??? Have you always been in her class??? How did she not know??? She thinks ur so cute in ur lil outfit, how much shorter you look compared to her, even in the seat, ur headphones in and ur music barely audible and she’s just staring at this point and oh god oh no you notice and now she wants to crawl into a hole and decay

You, unbeknownst to her, are completely Awestruck by this absolute goddess of a woman who is suddenly sitting in your row and thank god she didn’t take Your seat that you have been sitting in since the class began and oh god ur not gonna change seats now so you have to sit next to her

So you act Natural and pull out your stuff as you usually would, including your current read!! Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo!! Very good very gay and oh my god you hope the mystery girl sees the girls on the cover and gets the hint and you hope that she also likes girls bc wowowowow!!! She’s even prettier the closer you are to her!! And she looks so strong!!! Her arms so big and now ur head is spinning bc she could probably pick you up and mandhandle you and do whatever she wanted and now ur completely off track bc she is just so pretty

And she is staring at you!! So you panic a little bit and send her a lil smile and wave and her heart damn near stops because One she got caught Two ur so fucking cute so she Composes herself and waves back and then

Just turns back to her laptop

Like a coward. Bc u are so cute and she wants to talk to u so bad so Obviously she can’t bc she can and will make a bigger fool of herself than she already did

n this makes you sad bc duh, she’s so cute u thought she was gonna say something but no :( so you just start reading ur book and u get so into it that u don’t notice that abby keeps looking over at u! And she thinks ur so cute! Bc ur so focused and there’s this lil crease between ur brows from how hard ur focusing on this book and oops now she’s trying to look at the cover without u noticing and oops now she’s typing it into her browser and would u look at that! It’s in stock at her favorite bookstore! so now she knows what she’s doing after class instead of homework!

so u two sit and u read and she watches and floats aimlessly on the internet and then class proceeds as usual and abby feels so much better in this seat! She can actually hear and see without being stuck with ppl who talk during class or are super distracting on their laptops bc ur the closest to her and ur a diligent little notetaker! truly the best idea she’s ever had good job abby :)

Immediately after class she hauls ass to the bookstore and picks up the book u were reading (and maybe two more ok she has little self control in here it’s fine her dad is a neurosurgeon) and she starts reading it that day and omg!! She loves it!!! She reads like half of it in one day and forgets to do her homework and oh shit okay she has to bust out two discussion posts before midnight and now she’s panicking but it’s fine she’s got this!

the next time she has that class, she brings the book with her to read beforehand and u show up! But with a different book :( she’s so sad she wanted to talk to u about this one but u probably already finished it! So, of course, she pulls out her phone and writes down the book ur reading now, In A Lonely Place by Dorothy B. Hughes

she is both kinda shocked that it’s so different, some old crime novel but it sounds interesting so after class she runs back to the bookstore to get it and it’s there!! She didn’t even bother to check if it was in stock but it was! obvs the universe wants yall to have this connection so ofc she buys it and starts reading it the next week bc school caught up to her and it took a second to finish the first book :(

so she’s so excited when she shows up to class that week with the book, which she hasn’t started yet! And then u show up! And omg she might cry bc u have another book again :( ur just so fast she cannot keep up but she is gonna keep trying!

another two weeks pass with another two books and by now ur starting to notice that she always seems to be reading the last book u read and u don’t know if it’s intentional but if it is that is so sexy of her and u will hold her hand about it

so u decide to test it! u slow down on ur reading speed for the next book and u intentionally pick a less popular one (???) bc at that point what are the odds it isn’t intentional? So u show up with When the Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore for the next three classes and sure enough! By the second class she has it and she’s reading it and so are u and ur both so excited about it!!

Abby is like ninety percent sure she’s been found out but her suspicions are confirmed when u turn to talk to her, voice low even though ur like the only people in the classroom bc class doesn’t start for another forty minutes, and u ask her how she likes it, especially compared to the rest of the books and she just turns Bright Red

She’s so cute and blushy and tripping over her sentences when she tells u she really likes it even though she just started it and by god she thinks she’s gonna melt into a puddle of pure sapphic when u giggle and smile at her and tell her ur glad!! Bc it’s one of ur favorite books!!

n y’all start talking about the books you’ve been reading and ur both so into it that u completely give up on reading before class today! Not when this absolute sweetheart of a girl is reading the book u read!! For u!! Bc abby straight up tells u she wanted to talk to u but didn’t know how so she just started reading all the books u read bc that makes sense?? I mean it worked so yeah!! Makes sense!!

u scoot into the seat right next to her, abandoning ur old seat :( but for a much better one bc omg she smells so good u wanna bite her or kiss her or sit in her lap and snuggle into her :( and abby is freaking out bc u also smell good and ur so pretty she wants to hug u and kiss u and make u cre-

Anyways eventually class starts :( which sucks so bad but ur right next to her and she maybe finds it a lil bit harder to focus but it’s fine!! She gets through it and at the end of class, she builds up the courage (tbh she wasn’t really listening to the last ten minutes bc she was so Anxious) to ask u for ur number!!! Which u give her ofc, and right before u leave u nearly make her heart pop out of her chest

As u pull on ur bag, u turn to her and say that you’ll text her to set up ur lil bookclub :( maybe you can go get coffee to talk about it :) and by god that is close enough to a date for abby that she just nods dumbly and smiles and watches as you leave, a lil smile on ur face that makes her want to pull u back and kiss u silly!!

She knows then and there that she has to make u her gf or she’ll literally wither away (ofc she succeeds!! She’s abby!!!)

Anyways yeah thinking of her debilitating crush i luv her

#abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby tlou #abby x reader #Abby Anderson fluff #Abby Anderson suggestive #tlou fic #tlou fanfic #tlou abby x reader #abby anderson headcanons #tlou headcanons #mdni

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merlins-booknook · 2 months

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I have decided to make this reading blog of sorts bc my friend is still one book behind me and my cousin is not dramatic enough for me to feel satisfied with our talks on the books

So here I am. Ten pages left on the raven king. What the actual fuck is going on, idk. Like, EVERYTHING WAS SO QUICK AFTER THE BANQUET. WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN WYMACK IS KEVINS FATHER. I MEAN, YEAH, DADDY WYMACK FOR THE FOXES BUT, ACTUAL DADDY?? DID NOT SEE THAT COMING.

And the foxes being exited for Neil to take time with his "family" Lowkey actually destroyed me. I'm just, hating riko so much WHY MUST U BE A PSYCHOPATH AND AN ASSHOLE, EVERYONE HATES U RIKO, GET IT IN UR HEAD

Also, I have been saying this since I started reading but, RIKO WHEN I CATCH U RIKO, RIKO WHEN I CATCH U I made a tik tok on this audio with nail saying it and I have no regrets.

I have already started the last chapter, so ik that they do not tell the rest of his time with the Ravens, Wich is kinda scary but I have only read the first paragraph so, I'll have to fuck around and find out. I will only be able to start the following book once I finish my finals, so idk, I'll be back when I end the book and then a week later ig??

NEIL IS A FREAKING SAVAGE AND HAS NO FILTER ON THOUGHTS, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO TAPE HIS MOUTH SO HE DOES NOT PICK FIGHTS ANYMORE

If someone has the necessity to write spoilers, know that I will hate and find u ❤️ maybe

#andrew minyard #nora sakavic #neil josten #the raven king #the kings men #all for the game #the foxhole court #kevin day #the ravens #exy #books #reading #riko moriyama #aftg

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l0uterstella · 2 months

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YOUR MELODY: Analysis, Merold's Manipulation

(Parts are still incomplete like the flower language) full english lyrics, Ever Red theory (MUST READ TO UNDERSTAND THIS POST) Updated: Feb 25 2024

Flower Language

(thanks to my friend Lux for finding most of them)

Rimicha - sunflower, birds of paradise Sunflower: Symbols of joy, adoration, and loyalty. There's a story in Greek Mythology of a nymph who turns into the flower after losing her lover Birds of paradise: Symbols of joy, paradise, freedom, and a sense of exploration

Hallritt - red periwinkle - symbol of purity, everlasting love, loyalty to friends, and hope

Merold - white and pink easter lily, white chrysanthemum, baby's breath, white spider lily, white and pink rose, hyacinth - together as a bouquet, all these flowers symbolize devoted love and loyalty, feelings of strong familial love and homesickness, positivity, happiness and admiration for the receiver, along with "seeking forgiveness/deep regret" with the hyacinths

Mirror flowers: lily, daisy, carnation, 4th still unknown - Together as a bouquet, these flowers represent celebration/hope for happiness, love and connection. Some flowers also share a meaning of rebirth or missing someone

Broken Mirror

Broken mirrors typically symbolize a shattered self-image, fractured identity, and a sense of loss. I'll most likely be covering the voice drama in another post, but in the first episode, Hallritt is seen easily defeating a seed in one hit. Maybe Merold feels like his role as the strongest knight is being challenged? Which is why he accuses Hallritt of being a failure as a knight in the teaser for episode 2. In another scene, these two frames are right next to each other. Instead of the diamond flipping around like it did before, Merold just completely replaces Hallritt.

The MV also had multiple "waves"/glitches, which recently has been a recurring theme of Seed's presence.

ELDRITT/HALLRITT SYSTEM

Hallritt also feels a bit "off" in the MV. It's possible that it's Eldritch Hallritt/Eldritt/The "original Hallritt" currently present. It's a bit confusing to tell which timeline the MV is set in, but it might make more sense with the System Hallritt headcanon. Eldritt formed as a protector and gatekeeper who used to hide the truth from the "current Hallritt", before deciding it'd be beneficial if he knew the truth and did something about it. Following this, the MV is in the 2nd timeline as my timeline theory suggests (with the voice dramas being the 1st timeline), and Eldritt is simply fronting instead of Hallritt.

There's also this scene where Hallritt sings: "As if two hearts are on top of each other, I want to be connected by the same rhythm"

ELDRITCH MEROLD

Merold seems to know about the 1st timeline. He holds a ribbon, which is what represents the memories of that timeline in Ever Red. He is also seen multiple times with a corrupted version, possibly hinting at him having an Eldritch (seed corruption) form as well.

The lyrics seem to have him hinting at the 1st timeline to Hallritt. If you corrupt the future, you echo its dark history.

To summarize: Merold is threathened by Hallritt's strength, yet he also knows the truth of what he did/will do. He wants to get rid of him somehow, or at least keep him in his place. He put up a face to seem trustworthy, but someday, that facade will shatter like the mirror.

BONUS

1. Merold losing his vision? Really not much proof here aside from this quick frame

2. blob people. idk who or what they are yet

3. there's one transiton where something that look like vines turn into (angel? dove?) feathers and another one with a broken crystal. could it be referencing cielomort's death? is it his crystal strawberry from aozora?

(Why? Why?) This heart (Why? Why?) It's fragile (Why? Why?) No matter what, I love you most (Why? Why?) It's overflowing (Why? Why?) These desires A melody just for you

#rimicha's just chililng #“melody” definetely means something too but i'm unsure what yet #may edit in the future #fragaria memories #fragmem #fragaria memories theory #hallritt #merold #rimicha

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noacfapologyst · 2 months

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night love confessions — matty healy

summary: after a night party, matty has the idea (or the need) to confess his love to you.

warnings: some kind of mention about get drunk, alcohol, drugs and substances (but nothing very explicit) nocturnal melancholy, sad atmosphere and some mentions of touches.

wordcounter: 3,4k

a/n: hey everybody! this is my first au and even i'm scary i really hope you enjoy and like the story, maybe then could put this into a general universe, but idk, it depends i think if it works and if the people like it. anyway, thanks for giving the chance to read it. last thing, english is not my first language so if something it's bad i apologize for that too.

hope you enjoy it 🖤

The bottles that are opened, the containers that fall to the ground, the footsteps of shoes, the music that resonates through the speakers and deafens your ears.

The group of guys you're looking at, the smile one of them gives you at the end of the track. The adrenaline when listening to the band's new song composed by your friends, the lights that make you lose, you feel everything in slow motion.

You drum your fingers on the red disposable cup, before pouring the harsh liquid down your throat and feeling the traces of the rest on your tongue. There is a silence on you, but then you return to the ring with a small scream of happiness, which perhaps multiplies the state you are by a third.

You don't know how many glasses you've had, enough so that your sobriety is hanging by a thread and the hangover of the morning with your head exploding is too evident, but you know that this time nothing else has been mixed. Last time the story didn't end too well, jumping over security fences outside an abandoned club to end up with a sprained right foot and several bruises is not something you want to repeat two weeks later.

— Does anyone know where the hell Matty has gone? — George exasperates, raising his voice over the speakers. Everyone looks at each other confused, without having a clear answer. — God, this guy is going to give me a bad headache one day. —Although he is drunk and has red eyes, he is at his most sane. — You are surprised and turn your expression into an "o".

— He was here a few moments ago, I swear. — Ross responds a while later, moving up to follow him into the crowd.

You sigh a little tired, lately it has become the same routine and with regret inside you decide that you should abandon the staring contest with the black-haired man who is a few meters in front of you.

— I'll bring him back in a moment, let me take care of this. — You pronounce with difficulty, slurring the words and pouting.

— Well, if you can't find us we're probably outside. — Brown hair appears behind George, and even though you know you know the girl, you don't remember her name. You just know that from time to time she and your friend go to some bars .

— She's right. I need to sleep right now. —Ross exclaims, running the fold of her fingers over the sockets of his eyes. — Find him and then we'll leave.

You know Matty well enough to know that when he separates from the group, there are three places he can be doing: 1) In the outside or inside courtyard smoking some kind of cigarette, it's always a different edition so you don't know what you'll find. 2) In the nearest bathroom, with a card in hand and light white tints under the nose and nails. 3) Flirt with the first person you meet at the bar, spending the little money on drinks that will later be deposited on his bed.

— And if you don't find it, what? —Adam asks, in a tone of total concern.

— I will do it, I promise.

— Just... let us know when you get home, girl. —George closes the conversation and everyone else nods at his request, shakes their heads in response and greets them with a "yes, goodbye" in the air.

You hate a little, a lot, the rock superstar life that your entire band has led, it has been like this for years, but especially since they managed to make their first album become famous so quickly, and have devastated the sales stands and the lists have them in their heads. In fact, while you're debating where to start looking for it, Girls starts playing through the speakers. Great, the world makes fun of you with good satire.

It doesn't matter that you don't have clarity to think, your body moves for you and makes its way through quite a few people, until you touch a wall that has two exits: the bathroom and the courtyard. You breathe and try to lower your level to one less, until your instinct kicks in and you know you'll find Matty smoking.

Then you go out to the inner courtyard with the frost freezing your back. Adam was right, you needed your jacket that you left at his house a few hours earlier. The wind makes your eyes turn to glass in a sense, but you don't plan on giving up when you know you're committed to finding and bringing it home in the best condition possible.

You find it almost at the end of the place, away from the main entrances, which catches your attention. He has his leather jacket over his knees, which leaves his arms unprotected despite how thin they are. He's frowning, and when you get closer you see that he's exhaling and inhaling with a thoughtful expression, there's something troubling him even though you can't figure it out.

You reach his side of him and look for a small place to sit, he still has n't realized that someone else is with him, he's still absorbed.

— No girl today? What a loser. — You wake him up and make him jump in his place. — The boys are gone.

— Shit, girl. You really scared me.— He puts his hand on his chest, exactly on his heart. He gives you a half-shot of his eyes, they're freshly red, and you grimace silently. — She's gone too.

— Who? — You cross your legs, and your fishnet stockings catch on a tile out of place. — Shit, they were new. — You moan and realize that you are freezing.

— Luckily for you, buying another one is not difficult. —Now you are the one who frowns while exhaling a considerable amount of smoke.

— Are you okay, Matty? — You don't know why you use his name, but sometimes it helps to bring him back to reality. You look at him when he shakes his head and laughs sarcastically, his curls are out of control and half of them are hanging over his forehead, but he has not bothered to fix them, his white t-shirt he has small red wine stains on it. You can't help but worry about him even if you don't know what you're really into, he's one of the people you love the most and seeing him so subdued burns you more than the glass you drank ten minutes ago. He starts to close his eyes and breathe easier, or so you think. — Hey, I'll take you home, come on.

— Honey, look at me. It's a fucking party and I'm smoking alone. — Speak in the deepest voice, seriously about the subject. Well, that hurts. — Come here. — He hits the jacket that falls on her knees so that you can rest your head there.

He knows that you will not refuse, perhaps because the jacket will keep you warm, because you are tired or because you are very busy and worried. About him you will do everything he asks. Then he drops his head there and slowly rests his legs on the pavement.

Matty's head is about to explode, and not necessarily because of the amount of cocaine he has consumed, although a significant part of it is a factor. He's grateful to have his head against the wall, although he doesn't remember how he got to that position. because he knows that otherwise he would do anything that would ruin the whole environment, no matter how small and silly it was. Lately he's screwed up more things than he's done right, but maybe this is what he longs for most in his life, that when all this terror and this endless nightmare is over (he's more convinced that it won't) you'll still be there, close to him, to support his head or lean on him.

Silence becomes your best friend over and over again. All he wants to do now is cross his hands below your waist and hold you for as long as he is allowed. But he doesn't, his hands are dirty and he couldn't afford to dirty his girl like that, he feels in the depths of his being that if he touched you even a millimeter he would ruin you to the core.

Basically the same feeling he had about himself several weeks ago, he couldn't take the responsibility of taking away all of your shine and everything that characterizes you as his favorite person. He is drugged and drunk, perhaps more than ever, but in this same hazy state he has discovered that perhaps the reason why he continues doing things without stopping is because it is a barrier to his feelings, it inhibits him from being able to think rationally and from being able to feel, It makes him believe that everything is possible, except being able to have you.

You remain motionless on his lap when you begin to close your eyes and he takes the opportunity to look at you, giving himself every detail, capturing the scene forever in his memory: look at how your locks fall on your forehead, how your chest rises and falls every time you you breathe, and the subtle smile on your lips that is the product of drunkenness that also causes a satirical laugh and then dies in its own tranquility. He also notices when you open your eyes, noticing his determined look and you raise an eyebrow in question.

— I need to die, now. Can we go now? — You whisper, also struggling to hold the moment for as many minutes as possible.

— One more and we'll leave, love. — The nickname causes a cerebral shock throughout your cortex, but you hide it with the freezing air that runs through there and you pass him the lighter that has fallen on the floor.— I'll wake you up... maybe in seven minutes? I can't count. — The two laugh and for a second they hold each other's gaze, shining and reflecting on each other.

— Promise? — You ask, and you raise your little finger.

— Promise. — He intertwines them and it's convincing enough for you that you soon go back to sleep, leaving your hand outstretched. Matty has no intention of breaking that contact, so he takes it upon himself to enjoy the seven minutes like this, usually blowing out some hair that obstructs her view of him.

When he is halfway through the fateful cigarette, he lets out the longest snort of the day. He feels the same as he did in Robbers' video. No, it's nonsense. That song was never written for you, but maybe he's relating it to others.

Oh, but it's automatic, the scene where he's on her lap in timeout, the thought that he could never let you go even if they were apart, everything he's begged for you to stay and all the times you haven't. was able to turn back. All those times when he was the cause of your suffering, when you ended up in the hospital due to his failure, when he wasn't there the day your father left, and how later you said he was fine and that it didn't matter.

Maybe you'd actually sum it up to something like I love you, don't you mind? Because nothing could happen above that, you loved Matty as if he were your other half and even if he meant suffering more than anything else, you accepted it because you preferred to have him than not. But you knew that those opportunities were nil, nothing more would happen with him and the almost kiss a few weeks ago had made it clear.

On the other hand, Matty had started to cry. The taste of the tobacco was now a mixture of salt water and nicotine.

— Time to leave. — He says it slowly, extinguishing the remains against the cement and drying the trace of his face.

They both get back together after a while with some effort. Then you extend your hand to him so you don't lose him in the crowd when you have to cross it. It takes some effort, but you manage to breathe in the fresh air and see the light from the post outside faster than you thought.

—Can I sleep at your house today? My house is...complicated. — The hands of you two let go as both begin to walk along the brick pavement of Manchester. There's a small ringing in your ears but you nod, he's not in the state to show up at his house.

— Yes. — Your direct word calm him to the point that he adopts a calm that does not allow him to see a loose cable in the street and trip over it. — You can't walk, at least not like this. — You say, reaching out to him with concern. — Here we go, big boy.

You grip his wrist tighter, trying to provide some stability, until he changes his grip and runs his hand around your waist, wrapping it around it and pulling you as close to him as he can, seeking to get you inside of him. When he moves his fingers he notices the temperature of your skin.

— You're cold, put on my jacket, please. — He brakes and looks at you defiantly, without losing that tone of chivalry.

— It's okay, we're close to my house. — You comment without paying attention to his frown. Then you see the light about to be left at the beginning of the block and break your hold under his watchful eye.

You run, always holding on to him until the central point of the park that you are crossing. Since you have his hand in yours, you spin him around a few times while neither of you can stop laughing.

They both feel like they are floating regardless of any other part of the world or any other matter. If they both touched their hearts they would discover that it is stronger than ever.

He caresses your cheek and takes the opportunity to smudge an eyelash. Then they melt into an embrace completely overflowing with desperation, love, affection, and the need to freeze there forever. Eternity in this line sounds incredible.

— I'm very glad to have you. — You murmur in his ear, and then you give his a kiss on the cheek. You don't need and don't want him to answer, so you decide to run to the door of your house and wait for him there.

Tomorrow he won't remember this, so it's okay, you tell yourself.

Tomorrow he'll remember every part of this, living it second by second, then it will all come flooding back to Matty breaking him deeply.

Then he arrives at your front door and between some silly jokes and some tripping objects, like your brother's toys or some discarded slippers, you make it to your room, although you need to use your supporting weight to carry Matty inside.

— I'll bring a glass of water and a hangover pill. — You tell him and disappear from your own room.

You go down the stairs and it seems that you also go down to reality.

What the fuck are you doing? What has happened and why hasn't you stopped sooner? You put your hand to your head in frustration and drink water, then fill another glass and look for the pills. Tomorrow you will not only have discomfort from the drink.

You return to the bedroom, opening and closing the door carefully. The scene petrifies you, he is sitting on the white back of your bed, taking up as much space as he can. Then he looks at you, and smiles at you as if he were a child who had just been caught being mischievous. You feel like you could die of lovey-dovey right now.

— I'm going to the bathroom to put on my pajamas. — You open the closet and take out the largest T-shirt you can find, then the pijamas that are clean. — Use this. — You stretch out your arm and he catches the shirt along with a pair of shorts, internally you wish he would finish before you leave the bathroom.

Being used to the routine, taking off your clothes and removing your makeup doesn't take you more than five minutes, just enough for him to scan every corner of the room after changing with quite some effort. He smiles when he sees the box full of Polaroids of you and the entire band, and then feels like he's dying a little more when he sees the self titled car at the head of your furniture.

You open the bathroom door and he needs to swallow hard to keep from stumbling. Even in your pink heart pijamas you look just as spectacular as you do in your black miniskirt and boots.

—You seem very....funny— You scan it and you laugh when you see how short the clothes you gave him are. Then you realize that the mattress is not here, but you don't want to go out and look for another one. —Does it bother you if we sleep together? —It's nothing you haven't done, but it still requires a certain degree of difficulty to ask.

He denies sweetly and moves away as far as he can when you get on your bed, there is an unbearable barrier between the two of you.

So, he lets it out. Something internally takes over him.

— You are my favorite person in the whole world, my love. — He try to whisper it because you force yourself to believe that he thinks you're sleeping. He doesn't manage to whisper it anyway, and you hear his voice begin to crack and his heart begin to pour out. Your greatest fear comes to light when the way he speaks condemns it, you've seen too many movies to know what's coming.

No. He can't do this to you, you can't bear that tomorrow he will forget about this entire night and you must pretend that for a moment it makes sense that he also loves you the same way you do. You want to believe that he dreams of you too.

— Don't do it, Matty. Please do not do it. — You say to him with all your strength, while a swirl of water begins to grow in the sockets of your eyes. —Just... don't.

— Why? — He whimpers and staggers in his speech, he's taking it all on herself not to show you that he's breaking into miles of pieces.

— Because you're high, very high. Tomorrow you won't remember anything about this night and you won't be able to pretend this never happened. — You turn slowly, and then you wipe away the first tear that runs on his eyelid. — I really wish things could be different and that you would make this confession when you're not high.

For a moment he stops talking and you think you've won the battle and that there is a temperance that calms the threat. But he falls apart.

— I love you. I've always loved you and I can't stand another damn minute without telling you. — Tears simply fall down both of their cheeks and soak the pillowcases. You shake your head non-stop in a negative way.

He can't just let go now, at the moment when you're most emotionally vulnerable, so that tomorrow he can go off with the first girl he finds. In the long run it has always been like this, he gets over it and you are still there with a broken heart and forever devoted to him.

—Go to sleep, Matty. — Your request breaks him a little more, the tone destroys him although it is not very strong. — Do not make it harder.

He shifts uneasily, but he also understands that he can't force you to feel the same way. What he doesn't know is that if he just said he wouldn't leave tomorrow, you would run into his arms.

But he doesn't do it, nor does he close his eyes to fall asleep. He's there, watching your every move still. You sigh, unable to bear it anymore, maybe tomorrow you will suffer from it but maybe if you let go now it will be easier to overcome.

— I love you too. The same way you do it. — You kiss his head one last time and murmur one last goodbye before turning to sleep. — And it's been an ordeal for me all this time, because you feel it more when you're high and I feel it more when I'm sober.

Apparently your brain works fast and allows you to fall into some dream where this whole story is happier before reality can attack you.

And that's how they finally fall asleep, the both with their hearts in each other's palms, with more scars than before.

Finally, everything gets comically better when you wake up a few hours later and there's no sign of Matty in your entire room.

Just make out that the glass of water is empty and the pill is not there. You laugh sadly before going to sleep without letting yourself cry again, he doesn't remember anything from the night before.

i won't apologize for this. however, thanks for reading <3 let me know what you thought or if you liked it.

Etiquetas: @cxcx75

#matty healy #matty x reader #matty healy x reader #matty healy x oc #matty healy x you #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfiction #the 1975 #1975 band #I watched robbers video five times to do this #i cried #so much #first writing #first fanfic

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arielstruggles · 7 months

Text

Banished Angel

the dawn of regret chp.2

pairing: joel miller x fem reader

summary: you decide to do as he asks and act like nothing has happened. It only works till a certain point.

w.c: 4.2k

warnings: slight angst, mentions of death and sexual harassment, age gap, no smut, a little bit emotions and suff, some fluff, some cheesiness, idk i'll add if i can find

a/n: I could not proof read it since it's 5 in the morning when i finish this so sorry in advance. I do have two different ideas out how their relationship evolve but i can't decide honestly. Also didn't add any smut because i wanted to deepen their emotional connection anyway hope you enjoy! chapter one here chapter three

(p.s. Feedbacks are appreciated.)

"Just because we fucked does not mean you are something to me. You are clearly desperate for attention. You want someone to love you. But that ain’t me. You’re nobody." When you close the door behind you, his voice echoes inside of your head. For a split second, with the heat of the moment you were naïve enough to think that he also had feelings for you. Though you stopped yourself from crying in front of him you can’t stop this time, when you are all by yourself in your living room. Tears come one by one and you are unable to interrupt them. You pull your knees to yourself and wrap your arms around them and a loud sob leaves your lips. “you’re nobody” it hurts. The loneliness that mustered inside you for years surfaces. You have nobody to lean on since both of your parents got infected and left you in this messed up world all by yourself. His words hit somewhere so close to home that you desperately tried to hurt him back. You are all alone, you literally need someone to love you as he said. He saw right through you; you have never felt so exposed. That’s why now you feel like somebody is ripping your heart out. Maybe it was an hour of intimacy but it felt like more than that. It was the first time in years somebody hold you like he did. You were trying to survive when Maria and Tommy found you in a fucking cave all by yourself, you could have died and nobody would even know you existed. You were so close to starving; they take you with them. You can’t stop crying, your body shakes with each sob. Years of agony finally let’s itself loose with this morning’s disappointment. Your eyelids get heavier with each tear drop. When you wake up from your nap, your head hurts. The sharp, throbbing pain does not help your already fucked up emotional state. Your pocket watch shows that it’s 7pm which means it has been six long hours since that incident. Thoughts flood to your head once again. You start to question yourself. Why he snapped so suddenly? Did I so something wrong? Maybe you did something to deserve all his words. When he was touching you, kissing you hungrily it felt like your souls are bonding, apparently this was not the case for him. Your touch starved body greeted him so eagerly when he kissed you or when you were laying on his chest. You have never been a realist person, even in the darkest times you found something bright or else you could not have survived all alone for years. So naturally, you expected same thing from Joel, you expected a couple of nice words from him. A cold chuckle leaves your lips and melts into air when you realize how you needed someone to take care of you. You wanted him to say I love you. But you don’t even know whether you are in love with him or not. Maybe expecting so much was your fault but being so mean was definitely his.

Different thoughts about Joel dwell on your mind while you prepare yourself something to eat. A part of you still waits for him to knock on your door and apologize. But he does not. You eat your food in silence and find different things to occupy your mind to not to think of where he touched you. You definitely do not think about how you melted in his arms. You could swear that his smell is still on you, you were that close. But now you are far from each other. Maybe I am looking at things from a very sentimental perspective, you mutter. Still desperate to find a tiniest bit of reason to forgive him. A little bit of affection is all you crave. But then you remember his poisonous words. It is obvious that he will not do anything so you decide to act like nothing has happened. Just like he has said. “You forget what happened, I’ll do the same.” Unless he comes by an apologize properly you will act like nothing has happened. You will say hello and goodbye but that will be it. Just like before.

He is not as careless as you think though. Guilt accumulates in his chest with each passing second. He swallows a big sip from his whiskey watching the wall right across him. He remembers every little detail. How you get excited when he touched your thigh, how flushed your face when you watch yourself on the mirror. When he saw how excited you are, he could almost feel your racing heartbeats. A crooked smile creeps up on his lips for a second but he immediately remembers how things turned out because of him and his face get clouded with shame and guilt once again. But it was for the best, he thinks. He was old enough to be your dad. He could never do such thing. He would feel like a predator. Even though you are a fully grown adult you were thirty years younger than him. In his eyes, this was unacceptable. No, he would rather you to hate him rather than feeling like he’s taking advantage of you. But this does not stop him from thinking the sweet moment you had earlier. “You deserve to die alone! If your daughter knew all this, she would’ve hated you.” he questions whether Sarah would have hated him or not. Would she hate him because he fucked a girl who is younger than her daughter, or would she hate her because of how he treated her. The questions stay unanswered. At the back of his mind, he knows he deserves to die alone. He killed so many people, he told so many lies. He was the far cry from a good man. As much as he tries to redeem himself, he still has nightmares of random strangers begging for his mercy. But he can’t change the past. And he most definitely can’t put his bloody hands on you, not again

Even though you decided to act like nothing has happened you are not sure if you can manage to do that so you try your hardest to avoid him. You don’t leave your house for three days. You will inevitably see him on your next patrol but until then you don’t want to see him however you crave his touch, you can’t stop yourself from wanting to hug him tightly, burrow your face in his neck. On the third day of your self-isolation you leave your house to get some alcohol in your system. The more you isolate yourself the more you think about him so you think it’d helpful to drink something, to numb your senses a little bit. When you stepped inside Tipsy Bison you are grateful that he is not there. You get yourself a drink and sit on a stool, sipping your drink when you see Tommy approaches you. You are not sure if Joel told him anything or not but you decide to shut your mouth anyway. “couldn’t see you since your patrol, you okay?” he asks “everything is fine, I was just needed some alone time.” you lie. He nods and leaves you alone. You’re not so sure if he believes you. After a couple of drinks you head to your empty home, cold atmosphere embraces you when you step inside. Your eyes catch a glimpse of a broad figure in front of your door while you sit on the chair by the window. You peer up at him behind curtains. You are not that drunk, you’re just tipsy so you can’t be imagining him, can you? Are you that desperate for him? You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath and wait for him to knock. Then he decides not to and leaves your door without even saying anything. Your blood boils in your veins. “Coward.” You scream but he can’t hear you. “Coward” but his action fuels you. He could have knocked on your door and apologize, for god’s skae he came to your door. But he didn’t even have the guts to knock. You know better than ever know. You are done with his stupidity.

When your patrol day comes you get ready and wait for Joel outside your door. You are nor nervous, not after he comes to your door then leaves without even facing with you. When he approaches you, Your calm state startles you. Heart break and disappointment buried deep inside your soul. You are certain, you will act like nothing has happened since you are a nobody. “hello.” You say, your voice is not as cold as you intended it to be. He nods in return. No talking, just a small gesture. “We will go this way.” He gestures with his hand. “okay.” The atmosphere is tense, you wait for Joel to say something mean to break your heart even more but he does not. It’s still dark outside. And quiet. You can hear your footsteps. There is a stupid part of you, still dying for his attention. But for the first time in your life your senses overpowers and you don’t say anything. You see freshly bloomed flowers and cheer up for a brief moment. “Oh my god! Didn’t know there are still flowers blooming!” you chirp. Joel smiles at your reaction but you don’t see it. “It is rare, but there are indeed flowers blooming some places.” He comments with his usual distant tone. you don’t expect a comment from him at all and he does not know why he felt the urge to reply. You pick up a flower and put it inside your notebook. You walk and walk. Then you reach to the radio tower which is this week’s final destination for you. You climb the stairs and get inside. You listen carefully to hear if there are any clickers around, it is quiet then you rest your back to wall and sit on the floor. For now, at least. After a while Joel returns and joins you. Silence lingers on in the room. It is unnerving. You are dying to talk but unless he talks you won’t. You steal glances from him. His greying hair looks extra soft and curly today. He seems like he didn’t shave for a long time. After a while you close your eyes to rest them, you know you are not allowed to sleep during your patrols, so you are just resting. But then you fell asleep. This situation maddens Joel, he finds it irresponsible. He calls your name a couple of times but you are not a light sleeper. He lets you sleep. Your eyelashes trembling every once in a while, and you murmur nonsense in your sleep, but you seem so comfortable even if you sleep in a sitting position. As if he does not feel guilty, your sleeping figure makes it worse. He feels like a disgusting human being. He tries to find something to make a makeshift blanket but he can’t. And not to give you a further hope he does not cover you with his coat. After making sure you’re fast asleep he quietly approaches you, brushing your hair with his fingers softly. His touch is feather light so it does not even wake you. He tucks the hair that falls in front of your eyes, behind your ears. For a second he questions about doing or not doing it then he kisses your temple lightly and gets back to his place that he was sitting earlier. When you wake up Joel almost barks at you “You are supposed to stay awake!” you snap back “you could have woken me up!” “well, I tried.” He rolls his eyes. The rest of your patrol goes pretty much quiet. Then you go back to Jackson.

Even though he told you to act like nothing has happened your approach towards him bugs Joel. Deep down he expects you to hate him or like him. His self-hatred is too powerful that he can’t think nobody could care about him without wanting a favor back. But you care about him. A part of him is desperate for this. He is in a constant battle with himself. He is not a good man or a bad man. He does what he had to do. But it does not feel like it. So, neither being with you nor letting you to fall for him is not even an option in his eyes. He does not know he already gave you enough reason to think about him constantly. Thank god your pride is stronger than your emotions or else you’d be begging for his love. Days pass rather dull since you can’t stop your thoughts about Joel so one night you do something extremely dangerous and stupid. It’s past midnight and mostly everywhere covered with snow. You wear your gloves and coat, take your backpack and gun then leave your house for a night walk. At first you are certain that you are still in Jackson and close to your home. With each step you take you get further away from Jackson. The last thing you know is you are fucking lost. In the dead of night on a freezing weather. At first you think you are getting closer because you think you see a light then you realize it is a mistake. After fifteen minutes of wandering around you have no reliable solution to return your warm bed. Your brain tries to keep you calm but your heart wants to scream. Screaming is the stupidest thing you can do so you are trying to keep your cool. In the middle of your loud thoughts, you hear footsteps. Your hand slides to the gun in its holster and you hold your breath. Your heartbeats get faster and faster. You can see the siluette of the figure approaches you. “Joel?” you call his name. Your hand is on your gun. But it is not Joel. It is another man. You don’t know who he is, but there is a chance that he might be a raider, the moment you turn the other side you see another man. One of them speaks “Would you like to come with us? we live down here with a group of people.” his voice is disturbing. You know you can’t trust them. Your grip tightens around your gun but your hands are shaking. With the adrenaline rush in your veins, you run and run till you run out of breath they run after you. At this point you have not a clue about where you are. Your gun fell on the ground and once you think it is safe enough you kneel to look for your gun. With the sharp pain at the nape of your neck you black out.

When your vision starts to come back the first thing you realize is you are not in the woods, hell you don’t even know where you are because it is so fucking dark. Your hands and legs are tied tightly and you sit on the floor. Your mouth is taped. You feel like you are about to die. All the memories rush through your head from your childhood to this day not all of them desirable. Even though a voice at the far back in your head desires death at the moment, you desperately want to live. You curse that you didn’t take your pocket knife with you, not that you could do anything but maybe it would have been helpful since you dropped your gun and don’t even know where it is. The man you first saw approaches you in the darkness. “so, what brings you here?” he asks you can’t answer because of the tape but even If you could you would not. He then, rips off the tape on your mouth. “answer me!” “fuck yourself.” You bark. You don’t know what is the reason behind this anger. Your own stupidity? This motherfucker? or Joel? Probably all of them. When he slaps across your face your face burn with pain. It fucking stings. He grips your hair tightly and makes you look at him “watch out your mouth cunt. You don’t want to die, are you?” “do it you coward. Kill me already.” You know this is not the best response you could give. He yanks your head to the wall behind you and you feel dizzy with the sensation, the following punch on your nose causes the warm blood leaking from your nose. “are you a raider?” you ask, it is a stupid question but apparently this man is more stupid than you. “congrats your guess is correct!” he answers with a condescending tone. “why did you kidnap me?” “because you seemed like a good use.” We can trade you with food, we can fuck you, you know a whore is needed in an all-men camp.” His grin is the most disgusting thing you have ever seen, you try to memorize his features because one day you may have to kick his ass, his blonde hair and blue eyes make him a villain already. When the other man comes the blonde one shuts his mouth. He tries to feed you with some disgusting looking food just so you don’t lose your “appeal” and when you spit on his face another smack is you get in return. The quiet one is just checking out just in case blonde one needs a backup. You try your best to look tough in front of these monsters but the urge to cry is so strong. You know how horrible raiders are. You don’t know the time but you can choose sunlight from here and there in this god forsaken room. A couple of hours later though when it’s light enough, you realize that you are in the shed you and joel had sex. You want to throw up. You see the mirror, the couch. “You and that old man had a great time here.” The blonde man grins as if sensing your thoughts. The heat rises from your cheeks. You hate the idea of these vile creatures know about you. “I wish we could watch, but hearing your moans gave me a boner.” He laughs. “maybe I should taste that cunt too?” you are beyond repulsed at the moment. Fear, disgust and sadness takes control of you. “you can only fuck your fist. You ugly motherfucker.” “wanna test it out?” the quiet tells him to shut up. You hear a scream and the quiet man leaves the shed leaving you alone with the blonde man.

As if he is waiting for this moment, he gets closer to you. He rubs your cheek. “now, we’re alone. I’ll see what that old man could taste.” When he gets closer to kiss you, you hit his head with your head. He yelps in pain and he tightly wrap his hands around your neck. You can hardly breath. You are certain that in a minute you’ll be dead. When you see Joel creeping in behind the blonde man tears run down on your cheeks “don’t cry pretty girl, you’ll be dead soon.” Then Joel knocks him out and gives him a couple of serious wounds. He unties your ankles and wrists and he hugs you tightly. “the man-““don’t worry about him now, Tommy is around, he will take care of it.” he says. He helps you out and you leave the shed together. “there was another man.” “I know darling” you feel so tired but the safety being next to him is unexplainable.

He takes you his home and sits you on his couch while wrapping you in a blanket. When he returns with a warm cloth, he wipes down your face. “Now, tell me darling what the fuck was the reason for you to leave your house at the ass crack of dawn!” he says sternly. He thinks it has been a couple of hours… “How you found me?” “the marks in the snow. Also, I reckoned you might get a lil emotional and stuff.” So, he thought you would visit the shed because of the memories. “Why did you leave your house?” the Texan rasps while softly patting the cloth. “I was bored and I wanted to take a night walk.” “You left your house at night! Are you outta your goddamn mind girl!” You don’t have an answer for that. “You know how dangerous that is? You know what they could do to you? look at you your face is a mess!” “Why do you care!” he does not have an answer for your question. Because his heart and brain tells two different things “How did you realize I was not at home Joel?” you mutter . “stop by your place this mornin’ you didn’t answer. Knocked and called out your name, you didn’t answer. Thought you were, yknow mad at me or somethin’ then I wanted to check in anyway, you forgot to lock your back door by the way.” He smiles guiltily. Then you realize he entered your house and could not find you. “your backpack was gone and I thought, you left then I told Tommy, we decided to look for ya.” You feel all warm and fuzzy. All your anger is gone instantly.

“why did you stop by my place?” you ask. He does not answer. But you have a wild guess. You choose to keep it to yourself. “I thought I was going to-““shhh” he kisses your forehead. “I got you.” You are scared to ask another question. The former memory of you still tickles your brain. He holds you softly by the chin and intently studies your scars with furrowed brows. “You need any painkillers? Asprin?” “no” you are enough, you want to add but you don’t. Now you have no idea how to respond him. His actions may be deriving from your state. Or maybe he really cares about you! you are not sure. Your eyes lock for a while. You lose yourself in his chocolate browns. The more he looks at you the more he feels guilty because he wants to kiss you “did they do any-“ you interrupt him “no.” he nods. He gets up from the couch and leave you all alone with your thoughts. The power he holds on you is unbelievable. He was holding you a second ago and you miss his touch already. When he returns with two mugs in his hands you let yourself lose the control of your emotions for once again. “thought I’d help” he hands you the cup when you take it from him your fingers brush each other and you the pool of emotions gets bigger inside you. You smile warmly in return. He sits right beside you, you sip your coffees in silence. This time, you let the silence linger. It does not bother you. On the contrary, it calms you down. You lean your head on his shoulder, he leaves a kiss on your forehead. You don’t know it is the second forehead kiss he has given you, you were asleep in the first one. You wonder how long will it take for him to return his grumpy self. For the moment though you embrace the closeness you are in. It feels so genuine. You tilt your head up and look at him intently “what?” “nothing.” he wants to kiss you so bad. But it feels wrong. This time you take the lead and kiss him not knowing whether he will push you away or kiss you back. He does not push you away. When your tongues meet with each other, the familiarity greets you. You kiss deeply. It almost feels romantic. With each touch or kiss you get use to his presence. You know it is slowly turning into an addiction. He is the one who breaks the kiss. “You needa rest.” “I’m fine” “no.” he carries you to his bed bridal style. It’s barely afternoon but when your back touches the bed, you realize you tired you are. He tucks you in and starts walking away when you call his name “Joel?” “what?” you catch the slight usual grumpy tone. “can you sleep with me?” you sound as if you’re begging. At this point you are embarrassing yourself, but you don’t care. He huffs in return but does not deny your request. He slides in under the blanket like you on his back faces you. You want to ask him to spoon you but decide to shut up and spoon him instead. When your wrap your arms around his torso a smile creeps up on his face though you can’t see it. You nuzzle against his neck and breathe him in. you don’t know what is going to happen next but the security that he gives makes you forget your worries. You fell asleep soon after. He is a banished angel not only from heaven but also from hell, laying in your arms, letting you hold him.

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tags: @orcasoul @eliza-8

#joel miller #the last of us #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller hbo #tlou hbo #pedro pascal #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction #the last of us hbo #joel miller x you

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