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shkika · 10 months

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The tragic part of moon I think is her incredible patience probably being something she learned by enduring the constant awfulness of the ancients, since she couldn't really speak out in any way, since she was in a completely imbalanced power dynamic with her creators.

Maybe that unwillingness or fear to retaliate or advocate for herself is what led to her not doing anything to stop pebbles until it was way too late even though some in game dialogue says she could have used admin privelage to stop him by force.

That makes her story even more heartbreaking...

Poor moonie, she deserved so much better from everyone. And the most kindness she was ever shown was from the little animals her creators made as tools and objects, I suppose there may be a kinship between them there.

I love moon so much. She deserves all the hugs.

I think her patience came in multiple ways!

If I had to ramble in detail on how I write Moon I'd be here typing all day..

Lttm has a lot of experience and has talked to many iterators, younger and older and has went through many generations in her colony.

But the way I see it is that Moon became a person who is just very.. mm tired I suppose. The unfairness and lack of regard for her feelings she received from the ancients was a constant she grew to passively hate, but accept. So she's patient with them yeah. Moon is patient and calm with anything that life throws her way, because she's had to deal with a lot. She's quick to accept defeat and see when something is unreachable. The opposite of Pebbles yet again, who tried everything to go against the very way he was built. He's willing to fight and take action much more than she does. Moonie ultimately, in her last moments with Spearmaster, accepts her demise. Nothing can be done and.. as scary as it is that's okay. She's happy others cared for her and still do.

I don't think she's afraid to stand up or herself! Moon isn't a pushover, at least to me! Nothing can ever be done about how ancients see her or her group so tolerating them is just.. easier! Otherwise she demands respect and to be heard and listened to on a basic level even from a slugcat and she thanks you greatly for it. Or else. You don't get anything out of her. Even in a vulnerable dying state she can put her foot down and refuse to speak to you.

The situation with Pebbles is different.

I don't think she was scared to talk to him. I think Moon wanted to trust that her brother wouldn't do something like this. Because she wasn't just his admin to take control of him whenever. She was his sister.

Unlike their parents he'd take her well-being into consideration, surely. He wouldn't risk her safety like they did.

But oh well.

It's how it is.

#nobody will ever understand how mentally ill i am for moon i LOVE her i cannot wait to draw her even MORE #AH #!!!#rain world #looks to the moon #kiki rambles #ask #anonymous #of course you don't have to agree with everything i see i feel like im repeating this like a mantra #but i dont want to force anything on anyone #this is how i read her character #shes extemely complicated #and a VERY good senior #shes not a pushover #god i love moon #favorite forever #i hope i get to explore her as well as id like to in the ask blog i really do

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skunkes · 1 month

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My issue is I do have feelings i want to make into art but I'm stupid and dont know how to filter them into beautiful visual symbolism and meaning also if I could do this u better believe I'd be making crazy fanart of thistle dungeon meshi

#talkys #i wish i cld do fanart but i cant do funny fandom sequential art or beautiful illustration with substance #this post wasn't made abt thistle they were an afterthought #my main thing is i usually have 0 ideas for art and when i do have emotions/experiences to draw from ideo where to start #to create something Meaningful #idk symbols idk composition #-> if i knew this it wld also be easier and more compelling to make art for media i enjoy #anyway ill always be repeating my mantra about not having an artist's brain. or creativity. sucks #i got stuck with the wrong art niche now im cursed to be a commission and Draw Character Standing There artist forever #i keep wanting SO BADLYYYYY to make a full art piece about [something specific that has been bubbling in my mind] but i cant #im not creative. i dont even know where to start. i dont even know how to compare it to something else. im stupid.

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canongf · 5 months

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reading this book with gritted teeth and trembling hands lying to myself like "it doesn't bother me at all that there's some sort of underlying thing between my boyfriend and this record deal girl"

#live #liv reads foi #I'M TOOORN #i wanna take my time reading it because i wanna spend as much time with him as possible!!!#but ALSO #I DON'T WANNA DRAG THIS OUT #i don't want them to get together and a part of me wants to skip to the end to see if they DO #even if they do though #*flicks myself in the nose* she'd be an ex #i'm endgame i'm endgame i'm endgame #it's just me it's only me i'm his forever girl #*repeats this to myself in the mirror like a mantra*#IT'S FINE I'M FINE

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seventeendeer · 1 year

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whenever people talk about how important it is for kids to have unrelated adult friends in order to learn what healthy intergenerational friendships look like, I think about the first online friend I ever made. I was a preteen, didn’t realize later he was almost 20 at the time. we met on a spyro the dragon forum in the 00′s. neither of us spoke english that well, but we didn’t let that stop us !!!!

to this day I’m not entirely sure why this young adult was spending hours and hours of his life online talking to some little goofball baby about spyro. we never talked about anything else, just our favorite spyro games, our favorite levels, what we hoped the next game would be like. was I a very cool baby? did he just like kids? was he practicing his english? was he just hype to talk to someone else who really liked spyro the dragon?

who knows! but he sure set the bar for Cool Adult Friend extremely high. wherever you are, intensely passionate and positive spyro guy from 2007, I hope you’re doing well. thank you for talking about spyro with me for an extremely long time at a time where I pronounced ‘awesome’ as ‘a-wah-soam’

#deerchatter #forever protected from unsafe adults online w the mantra My Friend From Spyro Online Forum Wouldn't Treat Me This Way #anyway that was a wonderful time. genuinely good for my development. it's so important for adults to be nice to kids man #this guy was even a really young adult but he knew the ways. respectful+kept all appropriate boundaries+always patient and sweet #my friend ... i miss him ...........#anyway i like to think there's a direct link between this and the screaming rage i feel when ppl are mean to kids on here lol

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foxgloveinspace · 3 months

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Me: absentmindedly writes ‘nothing lasts forever’ ‘this too shall pass’ and ‘born to believe’ in Eden runes in my journal.

Me: where did that come from?

Also me: hmmmmmm. I think we are thinking about ‘nothing lasts forever’ in a different light than it was meant to be in. Maybe.

#very much so #anyway. catch me saying nothing last forever this too shall pass born to believe as a fucking long ass mantra now.#sleep token #kinda #mostly for #for blacklist #‘nothing lasts forever’ time to let go of the mourning. of the pain. it’s passed in the since that it was all consuming.#I’m gonna choose to let it go now.#yes I can write in Eden Runes with no problem anymore. it’s a blessing and a curse

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jerzwriter · 1 year

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Things Unsaid (2/3)

This fic is part of a new Tobias & Casey AU, What's Forever For? (Learn more about it here.) For those who follow my T/C HC, their background is a little different here. A headcanon will be posted in the next day or two. 😊

Book: Open Heart (Post Series-Alternate Universe)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x F!MC (Casey)

Characters: Sienna Trinh

Rating: Teen

Category: Angst/Short-Series/AU

Warnings: Regret, divorce, mention of miscarriage

Series Summary: Three days. That's all that stands between Tobias and Casey Carrick and the end of their marriage. The house is sold, they've said goodbye, and now they just have to wait to make it official. But what happens if one (or both) have second thoughts?

Chapter Summary: Having a hard time handling her upcoming divorce, Casey spends the day with Sienna, and the women share an enlightening heart-to-heart.

Words: 1,946

A/N: Participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge - Friends WFF? Universe Info & Masterlist Tobias & Casey Masterlist All Works Masterlist

The grandfather clock down the hall chimed twelve times. Its loud gong echoed throughout the tiny home, louder each time it struck. It was already noon, but that mattered not to Casey. She pulled a pillow over her head, hoping to muffle the offensive noise, but it was too loud, and her attempt failed miserably. Didn’t the damn clock understand? Sleep was the only place she could hide nowadays. The only place where her heart, body, mind, and soul found as much as a kernel of respite. And this offensive object thought nothing of stealing it away. She struggled to sit up, having decided she’d have to face the day at some point. Besides, Sienna’s couch wasn’t all that comfy anyway.

“It’s a difficult time,” her mother would say. “But you’ll get through it. You’re strong! You can do this!”

And it wasn’t only her mother. Well-meaning friends offered up unsolicited advice and platitudes daily. Sometimes sharing their own stories of personal triumph to convince her she possessed what it took to make it through. On the best days, Casey smiled politely, and on the worst, she walked away. She didn’t need them to tell her she had what it took. She knew she was strong; she knew she’d survive. But she didn’t want to be strong… she wanted to be loved… and to love in return. She wanted to turn back the hands of time and pray for a different outcome, one that didn’t leave her heart torn in two. But the clock couldn’t do that for her; all it could do was rob her of the only peace she had left.

Somehow she managed to sit upright but had no plans of getting up. She stared blankly out the window, watching the sunlight poke through the new leaves covering the trees. Spring. Rebirth. This was usually her favorite time of year, but now there was little joy to be found.

Sienna poked her head in from the hall; her heart ached to see her friend so forlorn. Most days, she wondered if she’d ever get the old Casey back. But she wasn’t giving in. No, she was determined to get her best friend back on her feet, and sometimes, that required tough love. She walked across the room with conviction and firmly poked Casey on the shoulder.

“It’s afternoon now, you. How about getting up? You should get showered and dressed.”

“Why?” Casey groaned, pulling the blanket up over her head.

“Because it will make you feel better. Come on, we can do whatever you want, my treat! We can get lunch, or go shopping, take a long walk? Oh! I know! We can go to one of those places where you get drunk and throw axes at things! That’s what we should do!”

Casey lowered the blanket just a bit, and Sienna was delighted to see a hint of a grin on her face.

“That would be the opposite of good, my friend. Trust! You don’t want to be around drunken Casey with sharp objects right now.”

“Why not?” Sienna shrugged. “I have nothing to fear. I thought places like that were practically made for people going through your situation.”

“Maybe for some,” Casey smiled sadly, “but not for me.”

“Perhaps not, but your approach is sleeping on my couch until mold overtakes your body isn’t working either,” Sienna scolded. “I’m done coddling you. You need to rejoin the land of the living, and not only when Kyle’s around. Come on! You need to come to.”

“I will,” Casey sighed grievously. “I just… I wish this week was over already. I just want it in the rearview mirror.”

Sienna’s demeanor softened, and she took her friend into her arms.

“I know,” Sienna whispered, her mind rushing back to the day she stood next to Casey as the beaming couple exchanged their vows. No one ever thinks it will end up here. “I can only imagine how hard this is, but each day will get you a little further to healed, right?”

“Huh,” Casey snorted, pulling away and sitting up straight. “Yeah, right. In three days, I get the privilege of entering a courtroom, looking at the only man I’ve ever loved in his eyes, and signing a paper that essentially says that the life we spent over a decade building together was all for shit.”

“Casey,” Sienna consoled, “you know that’s not true!”

“Isn’t it?” She jumped to her feet. “Isn’t it, though? Congratulations, Dr. Carrick…oh, and you, Dr. Almost Not Carrick Anymore! You’ve given your blood, sweat, and tears for this… you gave your heart, and your soul, and your… everything… and it wasn’t enough. You gave it all, and it was all for shit!”

“It was not for shit! You have….”

“Don’t say, Kyle! I know our son is a blessing and, yes, I know he wouldn’t be here if….” Casey covered her mouth and swallowed hard only to gather herself, for there was no way of holding back tears. “… I couldn’t even give my baby a good home,” she sniveled. “I failed at everything.”

“OK, now you need to stop! A marriage takes two people, Casey; you didn’t end up here alone! And you’re not a failure! Marriage is hard! That’s why half of them fail! Besides….”

“Si,” Casey interrupted. “I know you mean well, but….”

“I’ll stop,” she acquiesced, motioning for Casey to join her on the couch. Once there, she laced her fingers with her friends and gave them a tight squeeze. Casey smiled softly, remembering how many times that tiny hand held onto her and got her through.

“Do you want me to take Wednesday off? I’ll go to court with you if you want. You shouldn’t be alone.”

“No, Si, I appreciate it,” she smiled sadly. “But this is something I must do alone. Don’t worry. I’ll make it through.”

“I know I was harping on you to go out today, but we can stay in if you want. I’ll order pizza and get a bottle of wine. We can watch movies about women who killed their husbands and got away with it.”

Casey let out a sharp cackle, holding her side as laughter overtook her. Sienna thought she was home free… but within seconds, the laughter turned into tears.

“Si, I didn’t want this,” she wailed.

“I know,” Sienna replied. She held her friend closed and stroked her hair, wishing she had the magic to make her happy again. “I know you didn’t.”

“No, you don’t understand. It’s not past tense, and I’m not being theoretical. I don’t want my marriage to be over.”

“Case, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I still love Tobias. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone else, and I don’t want to go through with this.”

Sienna was dumbfounded. “Casey… I know this is becoming real, and it’s got to be so painful, but you said… you said this was what you wanted?”

“Well, what else was I supposed to say? What else was I supposed to do when my husband told me he didn’t see us working out. That he had nothing left to give? It doesn’t matter what I want if he….” she stopped to bite her quivering lip. “He didn’t want me.”

“But, Casey… you’re the one who filed… I don’t….”

“Yes! To beat him to it! He was feeling so guilty that he wouldn’t pull the plug. It was dragging on and on, and I couldn’t live in limbo anymore. I couldn’t wake up every day wondering if today was the day I’d get served. So, I beat him to the punch! Because… because….”

“Because you wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt you… and Case, I’m not judging you. Hell, I would even say kudos if you were a divorce was what you really wanted… but if that wasn’t your desired end, then… then….”

“Then I fucked up.”

“Well, you both did your share of fucking up. But hindsight is 20-20. But what would you do right now? If Tobias burst through that door and said let’s call this off, I want to make it work. What would you say?”

“I’d say yes,” she replied without hesitation. “I’d say yes, let’s do it. I don’t care if we already split our things and sold our house. I wouldn’t care if people mocked us or said we were idiots. If I had another chance, Si, I’d grab it in a minute.”

“Then,” Sienna said firmly. “Then you know what you have to do.”

Casey looked at Sienna quizzically, a nervous chuckle in her chest as she shook her head.

“No. Absolutely not. Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I’m not. This isn’t something to take lightly. This is a divorce! This is final, and if you’re uncertain, you have to let Tobias know.”

“Sienna, I may have been the one who filed… but he’s the one who told me our marriage was over. He’s the one who said we’d be better apart. I pulled the plug, but he set it all in motion. He doesn’t want to be married… at least not to me… and I can’t grovel for him to tell me that one more time.”

Sienna’s face twisted, and she bit her lip to prevent herself from saying any more. But she and Casey were two peas in the same pod, they knew each other too well, and Casey could almost feel the words her best friend wouldn’t say.

“What? What do you want to say?” She ordered.

“Case… you guys have been through so much in recent years. So much, and… ever since….”

“You can say it, Si, ever since my miscarriage.”

“I’m just saying it was a lot for anyone. Maybe you both just needed more time….”

“The miscarriage was hell, but in its aftermath… that’s when we learned how different we wanted our futures to be.”

“If that’s true, then why second guess your decision now?”

“Because I realize that I jumped the gun. I was being as stubborn as he was and unwilling to compromise. And a marriage takes compromise. If I had a chance to do it all again, I would have handled things so differently, and the outcome may have been the same, but I would have done more and tried harder. We were… we were worth it.”

“If you really feel that way… then you have to tell him.”

“I can’t….”

“Yes, you can! What do you have to lose? You’re getting divorced Wednesday. The only way there is a change that changes is if you talk to him.”

“Sienna! I can’t do it again. Do you know how it felt to hear him tell me we’re through? To see him look at me like I was a stranger. I can’t be vulnerable again. I can’t hand him my heart to let him smash one more time.”

“What if he feels the same? What if he’s somewhere now telling someone the same thing you’re telling me.”

“Huh,” Casey laughed ruefully. “He’s not. Trust me, he’s not.” Her mind drifted to his friends who he had been leaning on since things changed between them. Casey wasn’t a fan, and they returned the sentiment. Especially one friend… that’s likely where he was.

Sienna sighed in frustration and threw her hands in the air. “When is he due to pick up Kyle?”

“Tomorrow night. Why?”

“Why? Because I’ll be there when he arrives. Kyle and his favorite aunt can do something together, so the two of you can talk!”

“Sienna! I appreciate you, but all that’s left is our signatures. We had a thousand chances, and we blew everyone.”

“So then don’t blow this one. Because you still have one chance left, Casey. I don’t want to see you live with the regret of not taking it. You have one more chance.”

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#choices fanfic #open heart #choices open heart #tobias carrick #tobias carrick x mc #tobias x casey #playchoices fanfic #alternate universe #angst #love #romantic drama #family drama #what's forever for?#my babies are happy in their hc....#<- Mantra lol

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suspendedinbush · 1 year

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the way some people talk... hmm righhht yeah so clearly even trying to picture sirius with body hair would give you a brain aneurysm huh

#god forbid a beard…#you know he can’t stay smooth and boyish and delicate forever right??#everyone is going to age and get hairier & grislier & gain weight & get wrinkles (like literally everyone)#slightly concerned about how you'd cope with your own ageing body if your fav is only your fav when he looks eternally 16 :-/#(and acts like it too but let's not go there)#anyway apologies for the hater moment but it could actually be so much worse considering how insane the characterisation i stumbled on was #just have to cover my eyes and repeat the mantra: it’s not the same S we're just not talking about the same guy #some people are going to live out their own wattpad romance fantasies through r/s [deep breath] and that is okay.#alright i'll stop there.#s

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terrainofheartfelt · 3 months

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my coloring conditioner came in the mail and I'm going to try it tonight and that is the thought getting me through the workday

#hopefully tonight I shalt have purple hair!#my mantra this year is 'you can do whatever you want forever'

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coffeecupandcorgi · 1 year

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#me to myself today #🫠#a forever mood #one of the top 5 gc mantras #I was so productive doing private px stuff this morning now I just want to nap and hate watch Gilmore girls #but I still have tasks for my two real jobs #covid day 11 report ughdjj #at least it is the weekend I guess and I can emerge from isolation?? tho to what end lol #neo yokio #hate it here lol

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letthestorieslive · 2 years

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A Big Contradiction

A thought on Smoke and Mirrors (4x12).

Stiles tells everyone that the Berserker they are trying to put down is in fact Scott. Kira knew that, Peter too, so it's a revelation only for Malia and Liam (hence the closes up for those two). Malia looks incredulous, which is fair, but Liam.

Liam looks like he doesn't understand what Stiles is saying. It's like he needs a few seconds to process the information. Which is also fair.

But then.

He looks back at Berserker/Scott and he looks so lost. He understands what Stiles says, that the Berserker he is trying to hold still is Scott, but at the same time he doesn't understand. It makes no sense for him. How can Scott be a Berserker ?

Meaning, how can the guy who tried to save his life (4x03, biting someone is an unconventional way of saving them but Liam is still alive so), never pressured him (4x10, Scott takes Liam home instead of going to the Animal Clinic because Liam kinda tells him that he is not as fearless as them), always tried to comfort him without pushing it (4x09, Scott waits for Liam to tell him what's bothering it as he noticed that there is something going on with his beta), made him feel safe (4x06, that hug is just so important !), how can that Scott be a Berserker ?

Liam has a hard time reconciling Scott (gentle and safe) and the Berserker (violent and the cause of his nightmares, day terrors, and PTSD).

There is maybe more.

Because of his newfound werewolf-ness Liam thought he was a monster. Scott showed him that it's not true, but most importantly Scott told him “You're not a monster. You're a werewolf... like me”. And Liam likes the idea of being like Scott, a werewolf but a gentle one (one that his parents can still love).

Which is why seeing Scott as a Berserker (a violent monster) is terrifying, because Scott is kind of a mirror for him. And Liam doesn't want to be a monster. So accepting the fact that Scott is a Berserker is accepting that Scott is a monster, which is also admitting that he is a monster too.

But being like Scott is also the way to bring him back.

Liam is maybe a werewolf but that doesn't mean he is a monster. He can be good, he can be gentle, just like Scott. So he doesn't really defend himself when Scott pushes him against the wall (because violence is not the solution) and he mirrors what Scott said to him, hoping that if the words could go through him, they can reach Scott.

And they do.

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