So… new character just dropped, uhh— 😥😨😫

Rosalia the Castoff !!!

If this beautiful lady looks familiar,,, it’s because she’s Seraphina’s mom! ^.^

Before Seraphina was born, Rosalia lived in a small, shoddy house on Domus Street. Every night, she'd either work the streets, the brothel, and/or the strip club. This served her enough money each week to make ends meet. Enough to pay her rent, to buy groceries, but there wasn't much breathing room.

Soon enough, she gained a reputation for it. Notorious whore. Notorious flaunter. People on the streets recognized her and knew her well. This fame allowed her to make extra money, but it also meant more danger. She was heavily sought after. People would pay extra money to see her specifically.

At 23, a client knocked her up. After every precaution she had taken, birth control, providing condoms to most clients (due to fear of holes and poor quality brands), etc., it still happened. And Rosalia was mortified. Finally, she had a stable income, but it relied on her good looks. Pregnancy would irreparably change her body and likely drive away a good portion of her clients. Not to mention the fact that it was dangerous. Definitely not the kind of job you want while developing a baby. Clients didn't want a pregnant whore. Or, if they did-- they were freaks about it.

Against her better judgment, Rosalia kept the pregnancy and had the baby. A decision that would financially devastate her. Again. It took another 6 years before enough was enough. As much as she wanted to provide a good life for both of them, she couldn't. Her reputation was too dangerous and she didn't have the financial ability to provide for either of them. (Especially not for both of them.) So, she reluctantly turned Seraphina up to the orphanage.

As she signed papers across from Bailey at his desk, she looked visibly disturbed. He'd be one of the last people to hear from her before she disappeared.

Nowadays, her whereabouts are unknown. Rosalia is all but forgotten in the town, having disappeared 12 years ago. Due to the circumstances and state she was in the last time she was seen, most assume she's dead. Musings of her name are but whispers on the street, especially now that her daughter seems to be following in her footsteps.

Noah's Arc Circus Headcanons (Since nobody ever does them) [Joker and Beast]

Hello, all! I am suffering from writers block at the moment, not to mention I've got finals coming up, but I'm still trying to push myself to post something, so have these random-ish headcanons. (Reminder that I won't be doing all of the characters, just Joker and Beast since I'm stressing lowkey 😭😭- I will definitely write more for the other circus members in the future)

Joker

Before Joker and the others were took in and founded the circus, he reached a point where he had no hope for his future. He really just thought that was it, and that he'd be living on the streets with his family until he died, probably at a young age too.

As a result, this is why after he and the others were taken in by Baron Kelvin, he felt such a strong obligation to serve him and follow every order he was given.

At first, it was seemingly simple tasks, and I like to believe they were originally hired as servants or something along those lines, but as Kelvin's obsession with Ciel and being perfect took a turn for the worse, that is when he told Joker and the others that he wanted them to run a Circus.

Joker, just being thankful to be under somebody else's care, assumed it was some sort of fundraiser for them to accumulate some extra wealth.

But very quickly, things took a dark turn. In the beginning, there was a lot of arguing (rightfully so), but eventually Joker gave in, feeling like this was his obligation, as if he was paying his dues to Kelvin for taking him in along with the others.

Deep down (not really that deep down, it's very evident to him) he knows what he's doing is horrible, but it's almost like he can't stop, he has to do it to make Father happy. The others have probably tried talking him into going some place else, but nothing seemed like it would work, so they eventually all gave up, feeling the same sense of hopelessness only now with a roof over their head.

(Moving on from the sad backstory, heres some less depressing stuff)

Joker probably takes a while to fall asleep, like...longer than normal. I know I said these would be the less depressing HCs, but I feel like he got so used to having to constantly wake up in fight or flight mode while living on the streets, he probably takes longer to fall asleep even years later.

Consumes so much caffeine. Like he'll probably have 5 cups of tea every day and then coffee if they have it (probably not a lot since coffee wasn't as common in England given most people preferred tea).

But then again, he's a busy man you can't blame him. (totally not projecting.)

Doesn't really think about his mother that much, since he most likely has no idea who she is, but sometimes wishes she'd just keep him and didn't throw him away. He often contemplates how his life could've been different if so and so happened.

Rarely ever gets sick for some reason. Like, the rest of the members have probably gotten a cold or other sickness plenty of times, but Joker just seems to be in decent health all the time, which is somewhat surprising considering how rampant disease is throughout victorian England.

Looking at his hair, it is very intricately done and nice looking. However, some of the little pieces of hair are "crunchy" sometimes because he'll have to use insane amounts of pomade if he's having a bad hair day that day.

Speaking of, he's definitely a little artistic, given that he could style his hair and makeup after living in the streets for most of his life. In the beginning, he would help the other members with their costumes or makeup.

If Joker were to ever be in a relationship (I don't remember if he is or not), he'd be really kind to his partner, always trying to cheer them up and keep them happy.

While he wouldn't exactly be the manipulative type, he'd still be careful to hide everything he's been doing from them, afraid they'll leave him if they know about his actions.

That is, if they don't already know. If he knew that his partner already knew about what he was doing and still decided to be understanding about it, he'd be a lot more comfortable with them, like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he has one less person to keep secrets from.

He'd almost constantly give you flowers and do small gestures for you, doing the best with what he has. (I mean, it's a circus..)

Sings to himself kind of often, especially if he's feeling anxious (as seen in the anime). It sort of soothes him and distracts him a bit.

On the surface level, he seems to be a very cheerful and energetic person, but when alone or with the other (original) circus members, he can be much more serious.

If he had a partner, he'd really be sweet to them, but not to a point where he's exaggerating. He'd just be his "normal" self, seeming a bit more quiet than he is to strangers.

Back to the previous point, he would do everything in his power to keep all of the secrets about Kelvin and the missing children from you. If you ever confronted him about whats being said in the newspapers, he'd probably just play it off a mistake, or just bad rhetoric.

As nice as he is, or as he may seem he doesn't give that easily into emotions, which is one thing that makes him so difficult. The others already tried it, but he just doesn't seem to budge whenever anyone brings up the topic of running away or quitting.

"Missing children ya say? ah, don't worry about that- probably just folks who don't want a circus near them is all!" He'd say, making it sound like it was the most obvious thing ever.

He seems just a little too relaxed about it, making it almost suspicious. If you did find out, he'd be devastated. He would probably try to leave you before you can leave him, just assuming that you now hate him.

If you took the opposite route and decided to be understanding, he'd appreciate your empathy very much, but would still be cautious around you for god knows how long, until he fully trusts you again.

He really wishes he could spend more time with you, but he has so much to do all the time.

Probably one of those people that wakes up as soon as the sun comes up. It's like he can literally feel the sun rising, even though the tents have no windows and he's just like "Yeah, I need to get the hell up" 😭

If his mother had the chance to name him, she'd either name him Ryas or Jesse.

Beast

She knows that Joker is probably never going to consider leaving his job working for Kelvin, but she tries time and time again to get him and the others to run away and find some place else where they don't have to keep doing such bad things.

She honestly feels bad, and if you talk to her personally, you can tell just by looking at her that she isn't happy.

Spends a lot of her time alone, except for when she has to meet up with the other first-string members to discuss important matters.

She never learned how to read until she and the others were taken in by Kelvin. They would all read books to enhance their reading abilities, and while doing so Beast actually found she enjoyed it.

While she doesn't get to read often given her environment, she'd definitely be down for it when given the chance.

While she can come off a bit cold to people she doesn't know, she is seriously the sweetest person ever, like...

She's just such a genuine and nice person, even if she has to do bad things to survive.

She hates working under Kelvin. She hates it. But she is still grateful that she can walk on her own, thanks to the prosthetic limb.

In all honesty, her outfit does make her uncomfortable at times. She wishes she could wear something a bit less revealing, since it gives her a lot of unwanted attention, which she can't stand. Don't even get her started on the creepy stares from some men in the audience, she could go on all day!

A lot of the time when she's alone, she likes to pet and cuddle Betty. It's therapeutic for her to pet her- she definitely considers her a friend, despite her being a tiger for a circus act. Beast really feels like they've bonded over the years.

Speaking of that, she probably has a lot of patience even though it may not seem like it. Think about it, her situation with Joker has probably been getting at her for a while now, but she still hasn't snapped.

As for this specific situation, it's definitely one of those instances where a part of her has given up, but the other part still has hope that things can finally get better and they'll all run away together.

She'd like the smell of sandalwood- to her it's one of those scents that you can't exactly remember where it's from, but it's still kind of comforting and makes you reminisce.

She can't always remember all of her dreams, but she has had multiple nightmares of Kelvin harming her and the others because they "messed up" something.

Beast has a sharp intuition, she kind of knows whats up, even if those around her don't believe it. She can sense when people lie, or when something bad is going to happen.

She's generally just a lot smarter than she has been letting on.

Unlike Joker, Beast seems to be a lot softer. Not in a bad way or that she's "weak", but she's a lot more worried about things, and has a stronger desire for stability and safety than Joker does.

Her gut has been telling her to "get the hell out of here" for years, which is starting to really get to her. She knows that herself and the others are mostly unhappy, so why keep living like this?

If she had a partner, she'd definitely try to get them in on running away. If you agree, or even consider it, it would be like all of her hope has been restored.

All she needs is genuine, real reassurance but she just never seems to get any, which is why she'd probably seek that from her partner.

I imagine if beast was real, she'd have big eyes. Not like inhumanly large or anything, but enough to stand out. (No I'm not just saying this because I love all the girl characters from Black Butler because they're so pretty.)

Gets cold pretty easily which kind of sucks, given how Englands climate is, so she likes when the Circus travels to warmer areas.

But then she sweats, so now it's too hot. She can never catch a break oh my god

Gets so frustrated when her hair won't stay in a certain position after like 50 cans of pomade.

Doesn't get to eat them often, but she loves little cakes and pastries.

She doesn't particularly have a sweet tooth, though. She's okay with most types of foods, but probably doesn't eat spicy stuff.

She really enjoys sleeping, since her mind is finally quiet and thoughtless for once. I feel like she's that one person that always needs a nap.

I’m Not Invincible

A/N: I’m totally gonna rewrite this because I think this is so bad 😭I lowkey had writers block, so enjoy this huge piece of garbage. ): 

Warnings: slight angst, fluff, minor swearing

Pairings: Aizawa x reader

Requested by: @tonii​ Always happy to provide for the Aizawa supremacy! 🛐

Tags: If you would like to be tagged, just message me and ask to be added to the list :)

It happened because of an argument

In all honesty, you guys don’t really argue often

Aizawa is extremely rational and level headed, so he keeps the two of you both grounded, no matter how angry you are

But then again, when do you do argue, and it doesn’t dissolve, it’s most likely about something serious

Usually when the two of you argue, he’s the type to remain calmer and not lash out

If he does retaliate, he uses sarcasm in his response

Though he’s tired all the time, when he’s pushed past his peaked exhaustion, it’s harder for him to keep his cool

The argument started because after a major injury, he wasn’t following the doctor’s orders AND your demands for him to take it easy and rest so he could fully recover.

After a major battle between a group of villains, he had taken a serious hit which had forced him on bed rest for a whole week.

Though Recovery Girl did the best she could to possibly heal him, he had been instructed to take it easy for a bit. And since the two of you and Aizawa lived together, the doctors and Recovery Girl instructed for you to keep an eye on him as well. You had absolutely no problem taking care of him while he was on bed rest. If anything, you went above and beyond to make sure he was always feeling comfortable and recovering well. Even when he insisted that you didn’t have to waste your time taking care of him, you shut his comment down instantly; even then, you knew he was grateful you were there for him.

It was only 2 days into his recovery, that Aizawa was already moving and working out. You were glad to see him moving well, but it worried you that he was doing too much. You didn’t think too much about it until you found out that on his 3rd day of recovery--the day he was supposed to be resting at home, he was ALREADY back at UA, teaching.

When you woke up this morning, you were panicking when he wasn’t in the bed beside you. You dialed his phone several times, but it went straight to voice mail. It wasn’t until Present Mic called you, that you were informed of your boyfriend’s presence at the school. Not only were you exasperated that he ignored the doctor’s orders, and annoyed that you had to find out from someone else that he was already doing activities, but you were stressed.

You waited on your shared couch as you waited for him to come home. 5:30 PM, your phone clock read…’He should be home by now,’ You thought to yourself. You would be lying if you said you weren’t anxious…

What if something happened? What if a villain attacked and he was the only pro hero around to stop it? What if he collapsed and no one was around to--

A door opening and closing pulled you out of your thoughts, and you were presented with your boyfriend.

“Shouta, what the hell?!”

“Hey to you too.” He muttered.

“Don’t start with me. You were strictly instructed to rest and recover for a week! Not whenever you feel like it!” You snapped, standing up from the couch

“Y/N, please. I’m fine. I’m healing a lot faster, anyway, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?! What if you got hurt again?! What if you were attacked, huh?! You would be forced to fight with no way of leaving that situation because you wouldn’t just stay down and let your body heal!”

“But I wasn’t attacked. And I already told you, I’m fine.”

You had to admit, he did seem like he was already getting better. Though his wounds were still healing and he would wince from time to time when you could tell the painkillers were wearing off, he had been recovering quickly so far.

“That’s not the point. I would prefer you feeling great than just fine, Shouta.”

He rolled his eyes, walking into the bedroom with you trailing behind him. He didn’t waste a second to carefully take off his scarf and jumpsuit--noticing his subtle winces from the movements every now and then. Your heart ached seeing his entire abdomen and arms wrapped in bandages and his back and neck painted with bruises and small cuts.

Aizawa slips on a pair of sweatpants and a dark t-shirt. “See. I’m fine.”

A sigh left your lips as you shook your head. “You were told to stay on bed rest for a week. This wasn’t just some normal injury. You almost died, Shouta! All we asked for you to do was to rest and recover back to full health. And now, I had to find out from Hizashi that you went back to teach?! What if there was a repeat of the fight with the Shie Hassaikai or USJ incident?!”

“But there wasn’t and I made it out of that alive too! This is exactly what you signed up for when you decided to date a pro hero. Getting injured is apart of the job, I’m not going to quit just because you hate seeing me hurt.” 

He walked from out of the bedroom and into the hallway as you followed behind him. Aizawa wasn’t wrong. You knew the risks when you decided to date a pro hero. Injury and even death was apart of the job once a pro hero took an oath to serve and protect civilians. Even when he was injured, it didn’t stop the pang in your heart when you saw the damage his body would take on. Despite his protests, you did everything you could to take care of him. And yes, he did make it out alive from those two incidents, but he still sustained serious injuries. However, this current incident was substantially worse. He was on the brink of death after this battle. 

“You could have died, Shouta! All I ask is for you to rest and let me take care of you, please!” You pleaded.

And you were right. Truthfully, if it hadn’t been for Recovery Girl, he probably wouldn’t have made it to see the next day. 

A low growl escaped his throat. “For the love of God, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m fine?!”

It happened so suddenly. His body turned around as his hair floated up, his eyes glowing a light shade of red.

Your body froze as silence enveloped the two of you. Everything felt like it stopped: time, the blood flowing through your body and even your heartbeat. You would be lying if you said you weren’t scared. His eyes bored into yours as his brows furrowed, knitting together. In the time you had been dating, Aizawa had never used his quirk on you, ever. 

It was the single tear rolling down your cheek that brought you back to your current situation. Slowly, you began to feel your body shake as you stared back at him in disbelief. 

This situation suddenly hit him too as his expression softened, deactivating his quirk. He had scared you. The one person he loved more than anything in the world, the one person he couldn’t live without, the one person he’d travel through hell and back for, the one person he always wanted by his side, was suddenly on the receiving end of his quirk. 

“Y/N...” Aizawa began softly as he took a hesitant step towards you. You shook your head slightly as you took a step back, now allowing the tears flow down your face. He felt his heart clench as you took a step away from him and seeing the tears fall from your eyes. Not only did he activate his quirk against you, but your tears were because of him.

“No..no...what have I done?” He whispered to himself. He was supposed to be the one to protect you, never harm you. 

“I just wanted to help,” You finally said, voice breaking towards the end as you choked out a sob. 

Aizawa wasted no time swiftly moving towards you, relieved when you didn’t back away. As gently as he could, he wrapped his arms around you. “I know, kitten...I know. I’m so sorry. I’m...so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he repeated, his body shaking just slightly.

You melted in his touch as a quiet sob raked through your body, your head resting against his chest. Being careful not to hurt him, you snaked your arms around his abdomen loosely. 

“I’m so sorry, love. I wasn��t thinking and I was just frustrated...” He paused, a soft sigh leaving his lips. “Sometimes I forget that I’m not invincible. So, when I get injured, I force my body to heal faster than it’s even able to. I know that I’m pushing myself too hard and you’re there telling me to take it easy or rest. I know that you’re right, but I just get so aggravated knowing I’m limited right now.” He paused again and kissed the top of your head. “I know that you’re right, but I just get so aggravated knowing I’m so limited right now. But...that doesn’t excuse using my quirk on you.” He added, his voice growing quiet, the scene flashing back in his head.

“God...I’m so sorry...I’m so fucking sorry,” he breathed out, his eyes squeezing shut. Aizawa wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave him. That after everything you had done for him, this is how he treated you. For the love of his life to be on the receiving end of his quirk for any reason was something he would never forgive himself for.

“It’s okay, Shouta,” You whispered softly against his chest.

His eyes sprung open, almost convinced that he had misheard you. His question was answered when you shifted to look up at him, face puffy and slightly wet with tears. Another pang hit his heart. He was the reason for your tears. Instinctively, he reached his hand up to wipe the remainder of your tears away with his thumb.

“I forgive you.” You moved to lift your hand up, cupping his face as he leaned into your touch. “I understand, but you have to let me take care of you. I know exactly what I signed up for when we started dating, and I’ve come to terms with that, but you also have to let me do my job to take care of you when you’re hurt. As long as I can help it, I’m not to lose you--not to a villain and especially not to an injury. So you’re going to be resting, here at home, for the rest of your recovery time, got it?”

He nodded as a small smile creeped onto his lips, shifting slightly to kiss the palm of your hand. Aizawa lifted up his hand to hold onto yours as he leaned down, pressing his lips softly against yours. Though it was gentle, it was passionate; and you could feel that it was a reminder that he loved and appreciated you. You couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips during the kiss. 

“I love you,” he muttered against your lips.

“I love you too, Shouta,” you replied softly.

After a brief moment, you pulled away. “Now that you understand, go lay your ass down in the bedroom.” You instructed him. 

He smirked at you before pressing another kiss to your lips, this time a bit more heated. “Fine,” he muttered, pulling away just slightly. “But you’re coming with me,” he added before pressing his lips against yours once more.

~ GOM as a father ~

[notes] ~ hello! i' m sorry for not being active for the past two weeks because i was battling writer's block, and since college has started it also got in the way of my writing. the requests are piling up and i'll try to work on them as soon as possible ;;; here's a hc of your fav gom boys while you wait. thank you! ♡

Kuroko

the most normal out of the 6.

he’s really appreciative and compliments his child on something they do.

the type to give a sweet morning call and kisses them as soon as they wake up.

later at night, he would read them books and stay longer before their bedtime just to have a simple talk. “what was your favorite part of today?”

also assures them that he's all-ears if they're bothered by something.

no matter how bad his day went, he would never show it in front of them.

you and Kuroko always stick a note filled with encouraging words on their lunchbox to boost their spirit.

sets a healthy lifestyle to help with their growth because he doesn't want them to take after his low stamina.

he loves to assist when they have an art project and he'd display the artwork at home while giving a pat on the head. "look at this awesome work made by you."

Kise

the moment he officially became a dad, he cried for a whole day.

one night, you felt exhausted and Kise wasn't on the bed the moment you woke up. then you found him at the room next door, snoring on the carpet with scattered diapers while your child was sleeping soundly in their crib.

hangs family pictures all over the house and he puts his child's shots throughout the years. he's also active on social medias to boast about his little family.

he's clingy and would give big hugs and kisses at random times, for no reason at all. often argues about who love whom more.

a little sad when they refuse to accept his affection. "dad, stop it. i'm older now." "doesn't matter, i'd still hug and kiss you every day even if you grow grey hair."

spoils them with toys until there's barely any space to keep them, which gaining him a whack from you. "don't buy toys anymore." but he just couldn't look away and came home with another one.

brags about the magazines which he featured on. "doesn't your dad look handsome here?"

he takes his child to his photoshoot site once in a while and the people there would squeal.

his heart breaks if he sees them getting frustrated or sad. "hey, you have your mom and me. you'll always be our biggest pride so let's figure out together, alright? now should we crash at your favorite restaurant?"

gets excited when they do. he's also good at role plays, sometimes a cop, a prince, a monster, etc.

Midorima

a little awkward and confused as how to act natural when his child pretend to shoot him or he plays a prince.

"mom, can you play with me? dad's terrible." then he'd call Kise to ask for some advice.

often doubts himself whether he's a good father or not, but that thought got washed out after his child came home saying he got an A for his essay; 10 things i love about my father. reading it before he leaves for work has become a routine.

bonds over basketball. he'd teach his child how to shoot threes and encourage them until they get better.

he makes sure they keep lucky items with them every day.

totally lost his cool and was panicking when his child got a fever. you tried to calm him down but he instantly rushed to the hospital, only to return home again because the doctor said it wasn't serious; just a usual fever every kid runs to.

the type to set a curfew.

might push them in term of academics, but not too hard. and he would always praise them no matter how bad the score they get. "it's just a number. i just hope you understand the subject so it'll be an advantage for you in the future, you can always do better, because you're our son/daughter."

lowkey jealous if the Shutoku uncles get close to them and glares at Takao because his child seems to favor him.

Aomine

the troublemakers in the house, especially if he has a son. a carbon copy just in a smaller size.

definitely passes on his basketball legacy and they would lose track of time. you had to call them multiple times over dinner only to get responded with "5 more minutes!" and lasted for another hour.

tells them the importance of teamwork no matter how good they are in basketball. he doesn't want his child to repeat his mistake in the past.

"why are you worried over the exam you just finished, when the scores aren't out yet at that? honey, tell the kiddo what place i was during high school," he said as he laid down on the sofa, watching tv while picking on his nose. "your dad was in last place."

he would give a lesson to whoever tries to pick up on or belittle his child.

try to position himself a friend instead of a parent so they'll not be afraid to open up to him.

calls them with pet names he comes up with or he just go with "oi kiddo"

lots of skinship and he often buries them under his large body or traps their head under his shirt when he's being playful.

"don't grow up too fast. i'll be sad, you know?"

Murasakibara

despite his habit of unhealthy eating, he restricts his child to do the same.

"no more candies." "but dad, you had it more than me. can i, please?" "no. you're still growing, your teeth will rot." "so can i eat as much as you once i grow up?" "still no."

the happiest when the school invites parents for a one-day activity together. the other children hover around him because they find his purple hair amusing.

you were amazed by how much he had matured after having a child compared to before the marriage.

rewards them with snacks and sweets if they achieve something.

loves to give them teddy bear hugs.

Akashi

sets good examples that his child would follow; a man with manners.

pays full attention to their education. at the same time he takes things slowly and is aware that his child isn't a machine that should excel at everything.

"please do tell me if you ever feel like the lesson doesn't suit you. talk to me, okay?"

says "i love you" or "you're the greatest thing ever happened in our life" whenever he gets the chance.

tries his best to spend some time with them despite his busy schedules as he doesn't want to lose track of their growth.

takes them along to his business trips, classical concerts or simply playing basketball with the uncles from Teiko in hopes that his child will learn naturally by watching.

he would never demand them to be perfect like the doctrine he received from his father, because his child's happiness is number 1 priority above anything else.

teaches them leadership skills and how to earn other people's respect without hurting them.

overall, he avoids to repeat his past by being more considerate and affectionate to his own child which he treasured so much.

Korean BLs (Series)

Under the see more is a compilation of all of my thoughts for the korean bls that came out in 2020 and in the start of 2021 so namely, the BLs that will be mentioned here are; Where Your Eyes Linger, Mr. Heart, To My Star, Color Rush, and Wish You : Your Melody From My Heart.

As a TLDR this is how I would rank these five.

To My Star

Wish You : Your Melody From My Heart

Where Your Eyes Linger

Mr. Heart

Color Rush

Let’s do this in order. 

Wish You : Your Melody From My Heart

I ADORE THIS BL SO MUCH.

It was such a light series. The conflict was not heavy and it was resolved very quickly. I think it would’ve been more dramatic if the series was longer, but since its very short, they fortunately decided to resolve it as soon as possible, and because of that no time was wasted between the leads. And the actually got a happy ending.

Kang In Soo and Yoon Sang Yi are both precious ;A;.

Sang Yi’s thirst was so strong and palpable it was a miracle that In Soo didn’t realize it, specially when homeboy was staring hard hard at his hard body lololol.

I get lowkey annoyed whenever I see reviews about this series and then putting a mark on the story as like 6 out of 10 or something, because most of the time the thing they are criticizing it for, and the reason why its so low is because of the length. They really went flexible who?

Personally yes the story or conflict was easy and light, but if you’re going to critic it base on how long the entire series it, it was pretty smart to do so. The conflict was not just the father blocking his son’s debut, It was ongoing from start to finish, from even the series started. 

WE SEE in the first episode at how much In Soo struggled on the streets busking, getting his music out there one way or another. The Problem was not created at the time his father did what he did, it goes way before it.

The issue wasn’t also farfetched. We all know in real life that parents can be fucking assholes. So also claiming the story was out of the blue or nowhere is fucking dumb.

LET’S TALK ABOUT THE MUSIC. Honestly I’m no wise dude regarding music. I listen to a song and I base whether I like it or not, on how the song or music makes me feel. And honestly, the music in the series were beautiful I truly love it.

The supporting characters are also dope! I forgot the person who basically pushed Sang Yi to In Soo, but in this house we stan her so much!

Where Your Eyes Linger

I was hesitant on starting this one. I don’t like violence specially around homosexuality. It just stirs so much bad emotion in me. So when I saw that scene of Han Tae Joo’s father beating Kang Gook, i cannot make myself see more of the show.

But I gave in and watched it. It was adorable and actually heavy. I think its the heaviest out of these five examples and I’ll tell you why. (because I just know you’re wondering why this is heavier than Color Rush.)

The story revolved around multiple tropes or relationship marks. First is the servant and master trope, then it went to unrequited love to a friend, then to a master, and then after that it went to jealousy with a new love interest, and then it ended with them not realizing their own feelings until it’s already too late.

Now before I watched this series, I’ve already heard about the opinion of this series being a fanfic plot brought to life, and honestly yes. 

the Servant Master trope and then falling in love with one another is a very popular trope in fanfics, and the way the dealt with it is very reminiscent to how a fanfic writer would usually go about it. 

Other than that, the story actually help quite strongly despite the tropes they used. 

Kang Gook’s fears and uncertainties were actually reasonable. I wished we got more of their backstories, but its logical to see Kang Gook struggle that much with how he feels for Tae Joo. 

Han Tae Joo’s realization after Kang Gook started spending time with the girl was similar to the feeling of “only realizing what they have after they already lost them” feeling and it was such a heart breaking moment. It was a bit annoying to see him struggle that much to put a name in the feeling he was feeling as if homosexuality was just created right before his eyes, but he eventually got there i guess.

Tae Joo’s father was annoying. What he did was a typical parent move, hence annoying.

The ending was satisfying, but also questionable.

I found Kang Gook’s sudden ... change in how he dress and move completely out of the blue. I don’t know if it was just to signify that he was finally not working for Tae Joo’s father and now he’s not restricted to some hyper masculine facade or if it’s a way of the director show what being gay and accepting homosexuality looks like. But whatevs, I’m not gonna dissect that one because I’m sure it’s gonna be a blood bath when I do it.

Mr. Heart

This show was confusing at first then it made sense. Let me explain.

The series started with the two already chummy. 

Go Sang Ha is already open about what he feels for Jin Won. While Jin Won was the typical ass with repressed feelings. Their main conflict was the constant miscommunication between the two.

They show love in two different ways. Act of service, and gifts and money. It’s one of the reasons why the two didn’t get together in the first place in my opinion. They both have issues that both are running away from. 

Aside from that there was also the minor conflict with Sang Ha and his debt. The debt people were of two extremes, being very chummy with Sang Ha or downright horrible, e.g. the scene where he beats Sang Ha up.

There is not much to say about this series. It’s very straight forward, and Jin Won actually straight up called out Sang Ha for running away during the time they actually do need to communicate to one another.

ALTHOUGH I SHOULD SAY JIN WON PUNCHING SANG HA WAS UNNECESSARY AND OUT OF PLACE. That was stupid of him to do and I was very annoyed at him during that time. If you want to put Sang Ha out of his spiral, you could’ve just shout, or shake him. But no, you punched him, IN THE GODDAMN FACE.

That was stupid honestly. 

To My Star

I LOOOOOVE THIS ONE.

The start of the series was confusing because I literally kid you not, i was confused who the guy with the motor helmet on is. Like I genuinely thought he was a different person and not Kang Seo Joon.

The characters are phenomenal. They portray and embrace the opposite attracts trope but also found a compromise, or stable footing for each differing personality to meet the other.

It was lovely to see mr hot, and mr. cold be in the kitchen. Seo Joon’s personality was so bubbly and light that I was surprised to what really happened in that restaurant. (Altho to be fair he did keep it a secret mostly because of his issue and not just because he doesn’t want his friend to have bad press lol I really thought it was because someone was being homophobic while they were on a date lolol)

I RELATE SOOOO HARD TO JI WOO. I myself loves not disrupting my peace bubble. I would literally do everything I can as to not have any form of conflict with another person. It’s very problematic and destructive to my own being in the long term, but for short term comfort, I would take it lol.

So to see Ji Woo express what he was thinking while he was rejecting Seo Joon’s advances, made me cry so much. Because I see myself doing that. I see myself saying no to someone because I’m so scared. Add to the fact that homosexuality is still judged in public spaces, I WANNA LOVE A GUY THAT I CAN HOLD HANDS OUTSIDE WITHOUT FEAR.

SO I do get it, I do get Ji Woo and it was so heart breaking to see him suffer because people are fucking assholes. 

Seo Joon’s lines about loving people who have high walls because they look so strong and sturdy is a mood because that is so relatable. I wanna be surround by people who looks sturdy, and will be there for me. Seo Joon hiding this side of him with bubbliness and bursts of joy was so sad.

I tweeted this on twitter but let me repeat it here.

I LOVE THE FACT THAT SEO JOON WAS STILL THE ONE WHO CAME BACK TO JI WOO.

People might disagree with me and say that it’s better to see Ji Woo be the one who takes the initiative this time to get Seo Joon back, because it shows character development BUT HONEY.

Big changes like that are not a thing in real life! PEOPLE CAN’T JUST CHANGE THEMSELVES INSTANTLY LIKE THAT. Yes they can do stuff out of a sudden burst of emotions but its not a common thing.

 So to see Seo Joon come back, and see Ji Woo so heart broken was so fucking good I love it so much.

Seo Joon pushed for the last time, and you can just see Ji Woo just tired of fighting inside him. He probably has a monologue inside him shouting, “please come back, please come back” when Seo Joon left. And to see him just deflate when Seo Joon did came back was soooo satisfying.

THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT KNOW WHAT A NO IS. You’re not Seo Joon and you situation is not like theirs, so shut up.

lol.

OH DON’T GET ME STARTED WITH THE ANTAGONISTS OF THIS SERIES. Let’s talk about the actor from Seo Joon’s side. The bitch ass really took Seo Joon’s decision and ran away with it like nobody’s business. He really deluded himself and justified in his head all that shit. AND THE AUDACITY to ask Seo Joon to take the fall more was fucking hilarious. He deserves the hate bitch ass shit.

NOW FOR THE FUCKER THAT IS JI WOO’S FRIEND. BITCH KNOWS JI WOO FOR SUCH A LONG TIME NOW, and he has the audacity to pull that shit up in front of him?

Like bruh you know your friend, do you really think he’s the type of guy to do something like that? HILARIOUS.

I think his friend secretly likes him, so when he saw Seo Joon getting chummy around Ji Woo, and seeing Ji Woo show sides because of him, he got extremely jealous.

SO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS A GOOD THING THE REPORT WOMAN ALSO LEFT HIM BECAUSE FUCKING THAT DUDE.

The US reporter woman was funny tho. xD She really went to arms and defended Seo Joon and Ji Woo to him. The bit with the other employee was funny too. He deserves all the misfortune in his life lmao. That’s what you get from outing a gay guy.

WOOPS THIS GOT TOO LONG. I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH.

Color Rush

OKAY.

So Color Rush has the most interesting premise of all of them. That I have to admit.

Other than that the series was lacking.

There are two main plots happening, one is the killings of the mono or probe? I forgot, and the plot of whatever is happening between Choi Yeon Woo and Go Yoo Han.

The series was too short for these two plots. The plot behind the killing was completely disregarded. While the relationship between Yeon Woo and Yoo Han were emphasized.

The ending also confused me. Everyone just forgot that Yeon Woo and Yoo Han ran away? and that Yoo Yan’s family basically threatened to claim Yeon Woo kidnapped his probe? REALLY?

Specially with all of them being in high positions of power? That’s dumb. I really think that they were wrong as to what plot they should emphasize. If the series focused on Yeon Woo and his aunt Yoo Yi Rang solving the case of the killed probes while Yoo Han secretly helps them out with his connections, it would’ve been a much more interesting series. 

The ending of Yeon Woo and Yoo Han would also be more acceptable because now they all know that someone else was behind the killings and its not just the monos going crazy.

Aside from the cute very seldom scenes between the two, and how awkward some of them are. The series really lacked for me.

If you like Color Rush good for you.

This might be unnecessary to add but, something about the actor of Yoo Han makes me uncomfortable. His recent or at least post series statements really unnerves me. If you have no problem with it, cool.

That is all! I think there’s a new incoming korean BL from the same director or at least same universe/line as Where your eyes linger, mr heart, and To my star, called You Make Me Dance? That will be something to anticipate about :D.

FINAL REMARKS

Despite being new to the game of BL, korean BLs were really so good. The plots are not as problematic, or toxic as the other bls from other countries were and honestly I’m very impressed.

They seem to have a much more knowledgeable grasp of what a BL should be by avoiding toxic behaviors and just annoying ass plots. Not naming any names but ya know.

Any who, these five were a nice thing to watch.

I ENTHUSIASTICALLY ADVOCATE AND SUGGEST FOR Y’ALL TO WATCH TO MY STAR AND WISH YOU YOUR MELODY FROM MY HEART IF Y’ALL WANT TO BE HAPPY.

Check-In Tag✨

AKA a very long post about moi and this account bc I was tagged by the lovely @katelfiredemon <3

IF YOU SEE THIS, PRETEND I'M TAGGING U like this is completely optional (and long omg) so I don't wanna FORCE anyone to do it but asjhkl I think it's cute

1. why did you choose your url?

My og url was something dumb bc I only used tumblr to keep up with artists and writers I admired… this one is revamped to be ~relatable~ bc I wanted something that I felt comfortable adding on my art?? But ok-

clueless = because THERE’S TIMES THAT I’M A LIL SLOW TO GET A JOKE SDFHJKL

lesbian = bc I’m not out to my family but my sexuality is something I like about me,,, so I wanted to acknowledge it somewhere (and the anonymity of tumblr = ideal tbh)

2. any side blogs? if you have them: name them and why you have them

I made one like yesterday lol! It’s @blue-dragon-shin-ah and it’s for Akatsuki no Yona (an anime and manga I TOTALLY rec! It’s like a historical themed fantasy, comedy, romance WITH a found family trope it’s so good)

but ngl I have no clue how to keep track of more than 1 blog so it'll be a lot more inactive than this one asdhkl

3. how long you’ve been on tumblr?

hmm according to my tumblr account it’d be 2016 since that’s the oldest post I’ve kept (I deleted everything and revamped this acc in december 2020)

BUT I did the math and I would’ve made this account in middle school so around 2013-2014 lol I don’t think I used it much until voltron was booming in like 2016-2018.. Then I lowkey stopped… until now!

4. do you have a queue tag?

oof no

……...I probably should? like 90% of my blog is queued or scheduled… but ngl I barely remember to tag posts at ALL some nights so I probably won’t (rip if that’s annoying,, but I don’t make much og content so I figure anyone following me is chill with this lol)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

In middle school?? To see funny posts and not be pressured into having an ~online presence~ tbh. That’s literally it lol

6. why did you choose your icon?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and keith's expressions r hilarious

Before I just,,, chose sokka bc I love that blue boi and the edit of him had a yellow bg that I LOVED (and matched with my pink theme)

7. why did you choose your header?

Matching with @lesbianklance rn! and klance sdjfhk

Before it was just a colour palette bc I wanted my blog to be my fav colour: PINK

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

My zukka art omg- like I did one that I put effort into which I KNOW is my top post (it’s got like 600 notes??? I still can’t believe it I love that!! 🥰)

BUT MY SECOND TOP IS A POST OF REALLY REALLY ROUGH SKETCHES OF THEM AND I LOWKEY CRINGE AT IT (it’s got like 500 notes.. And I’m like… y ?? I can DO BETTER 😭)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

…...listen I’ve literally never had mutuals until this year (minus my one irl.. I love u bitch!! but u know that bc we text on other platforms too)

idek am i supposed to be keeping track??? I just smile a lot when i see the darker-tinted notifs in my activity feed

10. how many followers do you have?

hmmmmmmm ok i lowkey don’t want to answer this bc my whole love for tumblr is that followers don’t matter? You could follow me today and unfollow tmrw bc i ship something you don’t and life moves on??? So yeah no answer here

11. how many people do you follow?

1807 babeyyyy

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

...wait define shitpost- technically any original post under #yeetidk might be a shitpost cause they’re all just?? my shitty rambles tbh???

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

Sometimes i’ve got the app open allll day long but other days?? I’ll go on like once in the morning or at night just to check my notifs and then that’s it

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lmaoo bold of you to assume i interact with anyone enough to have a fight (AKA no)

If i did tho?? I’m the type to try and come to some middle ground before dropping the issue so idk- i’m more likely to lose bc i’m willing to （づ￣3￣）

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

Wish-granting/curse stuff: no.

Politics/Donation posts: depends! I try to only reblog posts like these that I know a bit about bc I don’t really wanna contribute to misinformation ykno?

I did start tagging these posts as #important but I’m not like?? gonna be mad at anyone for not reblogging political posts (also a heads-up if you wanted to block #important: I also tag some lgbt+ stuff under there so you’ll likely miss those too, not a huuuge loss but just an fyi yknow??)

16. do you like tag games?

asdfghjkl this is honestly the first tag game i’ve ever been part of so i have no opinion 😭 tho formatting this post has been a bitch asdhjkl I gotta get back to my homework when I'm finally done this

17. do you like ask games?

I've done a grand total of 1 and I felt so?? ashgjl awkward and bad for asking people to talk to me about myself- maybe if I do one that isn't about me I'll like it more

I do love sending other people anons to compliment them when they do these games tho 😌

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

....this requires me to pay attention to people I follow more than I have been so I literally have no idea??

19. do i have a crush on a mutual?

yes. the one readings this. love u, sweetheart 😘

/jokes

I don't?? usually get crushes? idek.. thought I was aromantic for a while bc of that lmaoo (but then I got a crush on someone irl and I was like "oooh ok so maybe im just gay then")

Dan Povenmire, co-creator of Phineas and Ferb and the voice of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, just did a zoom call for fans, and this is a link to it on Google Drive and a link to it on YouTube.

Here’s a brief overlay brought to you by my incessant live blogging, and because I was speed typing on my phone, I can guarantee not everything made the cut. If you’re interested in hearing Dan talk about growing up an artist and becoming an animator and trying to pitch Phineas and Ferb and working on the show and movies, I would definitely suggest checking out the full 75 minute video. The highlights from the call are below the cut.

They added Doof and Perry because they liked chase scenes. They realized fairly quickly that more than not, the pair led to good comedy, and found it much more interesting to see how their relationship developed. He also says that they are "the most important person to each other” and “they’re really good friends.”

They wrote the Perry theme song in an hour between meetings with Disney

They decided during the pilot that they weren't going to try to get comedy from the characters saying mean things to each other. Even Doofenshmirtz wasn't motivated by evil, he just wanted to get the attention he didn't get at home.

Doof’s backstories were not Dan and Swampy's idea. They were from Jon Barry and Chris Hendrick, who [itched the lawn gnome backstory. It was long and compliated and Dan and Swampy couldn’t stop laughing. They also provided the "it all started on the day of my birth” one the next day.

making the 2D movie while making the movie was the busiest Dan says he has ever been, and that's not even counting the PnF Take Two and Doof's web show and all the interviews. Basically, 2010ish was a very busy time in the Dwampyverse.

They decided to give each pair of writers their own section of an outline to work on, and each pair got to make up the dialogue and jokes based on it. it works well for the show, but writers kept going on their own tangents and the movie ended up like 6 hours long. Dan and Kyle Menke had to redraw 80% of the show because they had to cut gags out and rewrite it so it was still funny. Note: in the new movie, they did the opposite — they wrote a script and told the board artists that they could put brief gags in but nothing too long

He thinks the show became one of the most beloved shows bc it was innocent and the adult humor wasn't dirty so the whole family could watch it together. He also said the songs at the closest thing you get to immortality in a show. Those combined made the show as big of a hit as it was, and hopefully those things will get older people to watch the movie.

His advice if you want to follow in his footsteps are to draw (and suggest you check out Cartoon Animation by Preston Blaire and How to Draw Comics the Marvel Way by Stan Lee) and to know that these jobs are out there

One of his favorite gags in PnF are the silent moments where something big happens and no one reacts (like something big fell in an early episode and crashed next to Phineas and co and at first they were all shocked but Dan changed it to them just kinda looking at it for a moment with no emotion)

Q: Did you ever want to quit what you were going?

A: "I don't really... do... anything else..."

He finished his new pilot today (July 2nd, 2020) and the movie is due tomorrow.

He would love to do more PnF and there's been talks of another PnF movie

He would love to do more Milo Murphy's Law, but it never got huge ratings and Disney's not too big on it but if people start watching it on Disney+ they might get to keep doing it. They did that with Family Guy, and it could happen to MML too.

The movie feels like old Phineas and Ferb and there are a lot of great songs! 

And now, the Q&A (in which he draws random characters are he talks)

How was the process of kicking the voices?

It was sometime easy but sometimes very difficult. For Phineas, they listened to maybe a thousand people. they actually recorded someone but they put it to animation and it didn't really work. He knew as soon as he heard Vincent that he loved him. They literally recasted the lead (Vincent) the day before they had to deliver the pilot.

He knew immediately that he liked Alison Stoner. She was the second Isabella he heard, and he listened to maybe 50 others afterwards, but he knew he wanted Alison Stoner

They decided on a different Candace and they sent it to the head of the channel and the guy asked if he heard Ashley Tisdale. He told Dan to have her come in and give her direction and Dan was hesitant bc he had one that he liked but he was lowkey forced to bring her in. It was his only audition that day, and after his big block of text Dan gave her like 20 notes and she wrote the notes on the big block of text and she did it again and it was perfect and obviously Candace (but he feels bad for the actress that was almost Candace bc she'll never know how close she was)

What was the most impactful episode you worked on?

Either the last (hard to watch w/o crying) or three moments that made himcey while doing them: the end of Summer Belongs To You when Phineas gives up trying to get off the island and decides to watch the sunset with Isabella which was what she always wanted and she exploded and talked him back up onto being the person he is even tho it's a sacrifice on her behalf. He later says he started crying while pitching to his wife the AYA scene of Phinabella getting together.

Do you regret any episodes?

There are some he likes more and some he likes less but he doesn't regret any of them. He was a little disappointed in an early episode without a sing but he watched it alter and decided it was actually pretty decent. None of them make him cringe or wonder why they did that.

How has social media impacted PnF?

He recently got on TikTok and found out that's where all the PnF fans are. He was thrilled to see the response everything was getting and it made him feel good about everything he accomplished. The fact that this generation knows what an aglet is is his biggest accomplishment in pop culture.

Favorite part of working on the show/movie

He likes editing, but writing the songs is the most fun bc it feels the least like work

Who is Ferb's mom?

Never established or really thought about Ferb's mom or Phineas's dad AND IT'S NOT DOOFENSHMIRTZ THEY MADE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR THAT TO BE TRUE STOP ASKING and Phineas and Candace are full brother and sister. The bio parents aren't interesting to them bc the family already has a mom and dad and the other ones are just out of the picture and not important.

Will there be a new character in the movie?

Super Super Big Doctor (and Disney keeps telling him what he can and can't talk about)

Are there any secrets or theories that he can tell them?

The freaking creepy pasta about schitzophrenic Candace IS NOT TRUE Phineas and Ferb do exist and are alive. There's also a theory that Candace is not based on the diary of a teen girl in Russia who killed herself, and that's not true either. He genuinely thinks they are really freaking stupid theories and they make no sense at all.

Who is your favorite guest star?

Writing a song with Slash from Guns n Roses was really cool. He also liked working with Ben Stiller, Christian Slater the delivery guy (he called and said he'd do any part in MML so they wrote him a role), Jack McBrayer (Irving/Fix It Felix), Wayne Brady (co-wrote In The Empire)

What is the motivation of Candace to bust the boys?

He's not trying to hurt them. She doesn't dislike them. She gets irritated but she's really just looking for fairness. If she built a rollercoaster in the backyard, she'd get in trouble, so they should get in trouble, too.

How did you think about hot to end the show?

Disney was starting to cool off on PnF. The merch wave had plateaued. Dan and Swampy had the next two years in the show already made, but Disney wouldn't pick up another season until they finished airing that season. They'd have to restaff for a new season and they didn't like that idea, so they turned one of their hour long specials into the finale. He wanted to be able to say goodbye and thank the fans.

Obsession

Pairing: Former Bjorn x Reader; Ubbe x Reader

Warnings: Short NSFW scene in the beginning, cheating, lowkey stalking? maybe a curse word

Word Count: 4.6k

Author’s note: Thank you guys for being patient with me. I am working on my other fics I promise, I’ve just had some writers block and I finally managed to finish this one ! Let me know if you like it !

Summary: What happens when Bjorn breaks your heart for the last time?

Masterlist

“Bjorn Ironside, if you don’t control yourself..” her voice slowly faded into a giggle as her boyfriend's hand rested on her thigh, slowly moving up while they were at a feast with his family to celebrate his return from a raid. 

“You’ll what?” He asked with a chuckle as his nose pressed to the side of her cheek, his fingers tracing the inside of her thigh. Before she could answer, they heard someone clear their throat as they called his name. “Hmm?” He pulled his face away from hers, but his hand stayed where it was. 

“Do you plan on going back?” Ubbe repeated his question with a smirk, seeing his brother’s hand nowhere in sight and his girlfriend squirming. Her face was flushed and she tried to drink from her cup but gasped softly as Bjorn got closer up. Everyone turned to look in her direction and her cheeks got even more red. 

“Excuse me. I’m not feeling too well” she stood up and smoothed out her dress. She departed with a smile, clearly embarrassed. After responding to his brother’s question, he wiped his mouth and stood up “I better go check on her. Make sure she’s okay” 

Hvitserk laughed “Please don’t keep us up all night !” He yelled after his brother who winked at him and ran out. 

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

Bjorn walked into his home, seeing the beautiful blue dress he loved on the floor, along with the shoes Y/N had been wearing and the door to his bedroom opened. He called her name slowly, like a predator after his prey, he tried to stay quiet as he slowly peeked into his room. Not seeing her he stepped fully in calling her name again, a bit more confused now. Once fully in the room, he turned and saw her running toward him in one of his tunics. He opened his arms and picked her up by the back of her thighs, holding her close. Her lips were on his in a matter of seconds “I take it you missed me” he teased her through kisses. She just smiled and started pulling at his clothes. He stopped her from pulling his shirt off and she groaned. “Tell me you missed me.” He teased her some more, knowing how impatient she could be. 

She dropped her legs from his waist and stood in front of him with her arms crossed. “Of course I missed you.” She lifted the long tunic off of her body and dropped it to the floor. “Are you going to let me show you how much I missed you?” Her fingers made quick work of his belt and pulled down his pants. That’s all it took to awaken the heathen in Bjorn. He lifted her once more and threw her on the bed, his lips attaching to her neck and his hands caressing every inch of skin he could touch. In a breathy moan Y/N muttered “I thought it was me who needed to show you how much I missed you.” Before he could say anything she had managed to flip them over and trapped him under and between her legs. She could feel his excitement against her and she couldn’t wait to be with him after being apart for six months, but she needed to see all of him. “Take off your shirt” she demanded and Bjorn happily obeyed, now completely naked under her. His hands reached up her waist to her breast but she stopped him. “What’s this?” She pointed to a couple of small round bruises on his collarbone. 

“Probably from battle.” He muttered, trying to pull her from the negative thoughts he knew she was having. 

“Bjorn I know these marks. I’ve given you marks like this before” he could feel her trying to lift herself off of him and he held her in place by her hips

“You’re being paranoid Y/N. They are bruises from battle. Or have you forgotten what it’s like to raid?” He saw her face begin to ease and she muttered an apology. He almost felt bad that she so easily chose to believe him. Not bad enough to tell her the truth of the shieldmaiden that had kept his bed warm while they were away however. “Don’t let those thoughts ruin our first night together” he flipped her back on the bed and moved his lips over her jaw and neck and down her chest. Y/N let herself get lost in the feelings of his lips on her, and his fingers kneading her skin and between her folds. Bjorn kissed back up her body and stared into her eyes as he aligned himself at her entrance and slowly pushed his way in. Her eyes shut and her mouth opened in a gasp. Bjorn’s lips muffled her moans and her lips softened his grunts. Her legs wrapped around him, trying to feel him as deep as she could get him. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his cheek against hers, nipping at her skin. Her hands went from gripping the sheets to his back. Her nails trying to dig into his skin, only to be met with healing scratches following the same path she was about to set. She tried to push the bad thoughts away and remind herself that he had been in multiple battles and they could just be healing wounds from then. 

Y/N wasn’t stupid. She knew of his colorful history with women, but he had promised that this time was different and she had been naive enough to believe him. “Stop” she moaned softly, her body betraying her. Bjorn continued his merciless thrusting into her until he felt her tears against his cheek. He moved his face up and away from her, with a sudden panic he stopped his movement. 

“Hey, hey why are you crying beautiful? Did I hurt you?” He was worried that he had been too rough with her, not imagining that the next words out of her mouth would be

“Who is she?” Her voice faltered and she reached up to wipe her tears. 

Bjorn pulled himself out of her and laid on his elbow beside her. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid with me Ironside” She had never felt so naked before, she pulled the furs over her body trying to hide from Bjorn, trying to feel less vulnerable. 

With a groan he laid on his back “It doesn’t matter. That was then. You’re here now. I don’t need her anymore” his arm was over his eyes as he tried to stop being annoyed for having to stop midway. 

“You’re not even going to try and deny it?” She stood up and hit his chest “I thought you loved me” with a scoff she stood up and went for her clothes. 

Bjorn followed her “It would be insulting to deny it. You clearly already know.” He sighed and grabbed her arm as she tried to put her shoes on “I do love you. She was just a warm cunt to keep me company while you were far from me. I’m sure you laid with another man while I was away”

Fighting to get her arm out of his grip she yelled at him “Do you think so little of me? I promised myself to you and I’ve kept my word. We’re only as honorable as our word and you Bjorn Ironside are clearly not an honorable man” 

He didn’t see how he had done anything wrong. He did love her, he didn’t love the shieldmaiden he had laid with. His heart had stayed true to her. “Oh come on Y/N. Would it make you feel better if you laid with another man? To even things out” He expected her to agree and continue writhing beneath him. The last thing he expected was to feel the sting of her small hand as she slapped his face. 

“Am I just a fuckhole to you? Actually, don’t answer that” with a final scoff she turned back toward the door “We’re done Bjorn. Now all of Kattegat can warm your bed if you please” 

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

It had been two weeks since their fight and Bjorn had tried to win her back once, but she had thrown the necklace he had brought for her, right at him. Ubbe had laughed at him and patted his back “You really messed up this time brother.” Bjorn’s eyes however, had already begun to wander to other women. Ubbe noticing Bjorn’s eyes set on a blonde shook his head “Mind if I give her a go?” Bjorn only half listening as the woman smiled at him 

“Sure sure” he downed the rest of his drink and went to talk with his new eye candy. 

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Four months later and Bjorn had bedded what felt like half of Kattegat. He would see Y/N in the market from time to time but she always pretended she didn’t see him and while it hurt his ego, he let her be. She would sometimes mutter a hello to him but not much else. He always saw her when she was alone and knew it would take her time to move on from him. He thought she would probably be alone for much longer after his betrayal.

That is, until during a feast he had turned a corner and came face to face with her, her hair messy and her dress slightly askew. “Hi” he muttered awkwardly, lifting the sleeve of her dress for her. “What were you doi—“ Before he finished his sentence he saw his younger brother come from the same direction she had, adjusting his belt, slightly sweaty. He had never felt anger like that moment “or who is the better question” his eyes narrowed as he stared at Ubbe who was taken back when he saw Bjorn and Y/N standing there. 

Y/N’s eyes looked everywhere but at Bjorn. “I was just going to get something to eat” she ran her fingers through her hair 

“Didn’t stuff your mouth enough already?” Bjorn spat out before thinking. Her eyes shot up at him in hurt and anger. 

Ubbe quickly stepped in front of her “Hey. That’s uncalled for Bjorn” 

“What do you care? I don’t belong to you” she spoke up as she peeked over Ubbe. “I can stuff my mouth with what and whoever I want” She was never the type to stand down and this wouldn’t be the exception. She had cried enough tears for Bjorn. Instead of apologizing to her, he had pretended like she didn’t exist and flaunted all his new women in front of her. 

“My brother? Really?” He shook his head and then looked at Ubbe “and you” he shoved him back “How dare you try to steal her from me?”

Before Ubbe could say anything Y/N side stepped him and stood directly in front of Bjorn. She tried to look intimidating but because she had to strain her neck to look up at him, she looked as scary as a child with their parent. “Your BROTHER was there for me. He comforted me when I was hurt. He doesn’t promise me things he can’t keep. He can keep his cock in his pants. HE can actually satisfy me.” The longer she looked at Bjorn the harder it was to keep herself from crying. She needed to get out of there. She grabbed a hold of Ubbe’s hand and intertwined their fingers. “Come on Ubbe. Let’s find somewhere else we can fuck like rabbits” she left Bjorn calling out her name and furiously wiped the tears from her cheeks. 

When they were out of the great hall, Ubbe squeezed her hand before letting go. “Why did you let him think we had sex?” 

“Because— I don’t know Ubbe. I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair to you, I just— he infuriates me. Did you not hear how possessive he sounded? When he’s the one that ended us? When he’s the one that moved on so quickly and left me behind?” She felt Ubbe pull her in and she cried into his chest, like she had many times in the last four months that they had become friends. 

“I mean, I know how to make you not a liar” he teased her, combing her hair back and looking down at her face. 

She enjoyed feeling Ubbe’s warmth against her, he was sweet. He was the best parts of Bjorn, the best parts of the Lothbrok genes. As his thumb wiped at her wet and reddened cheeks, she shook her head “Trust me Ubbe. You don’t want to be with me. I’m a mess”

“Then let me help you straighten out.” This wasn’t the first time Ubbe had tried to kiss her, but it was the first time she had let him, the first time she kissed him back. 

When she pulled away she bit her lip, trying to hold back a smile. “I can’t believe you saved me from two different men, on the same night” she shook her head and stood on her tiptoes to get close to his face again “Thank you.” Peck “for fighting that creep in the great hall” another one “and then standing up for me to your brother” with that last sentence she wrapped her arms around his neck and hummed happily into their kiss. 

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Seven months. Bjorn had ignored her for seven months after their breakup. She had seen him a handful of times in those seven months, all sporadic and accidental. In the last month that she had finally accepted Ubbe’s advances, she suddenly saw Bjorn all the time. It’s like he was purposely looking for her, he always knew where to find her. Whether it was in the great hall, the market, the docks or with Torvi. 

She had lived in Bjorns chambers while they were together and so when she walked away from him, she found herself with nowhere to live. That had been the first time Ubbe had come to her rescue, well Torvi really. She had offered her, her floor until Ubbe found her a new hut she could stay at. Torvi had quickly become one of her closest friends. She understood what it was like to be burned by Bjorn. She too had thought they would last forever and now well, now the two women had each other for comfort. 

Ubbe had seen how uncomfortable Y/N had gotten with going to the market, in fear of seeing Bjorn and having to go out of her way to avoid him. So he went and bought her enough supplies to feed her and keep her busy for weeks. He had promised that he would hunt for her and bring her fresh meat instead of the salted meats she always bought. 

“He asked about you again” Ubbe grumbled as he sat down to eat with Y/N. 

“What did you tell him?” She asked as she set the food down in front of him. She was a little wary of dating another Ragnarsson, but Ubbe was different. He was sweet, he was kind and thoughtful. He was everything Y/N thought and had wished Bjorn was. She thought she had been happy with Bjorn but it didn’t compare with how Ubbe made her feel. 

“I told him that you weren’t his concern anymore” he angrily stuffed his mouth and she just laughed. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. You’re mine now” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, not looking up from his bowl, worried he had sounded like Bjorn that night at the great hall. All he heard was a hum of approval followed by chewing. He took a deep breath and continued eating, not saying anything else. 

After eating in silence for a couple of minutes, her voice broke it “I think I quite like that”

“Like what?”

“Being yours” the bowl scraped across the table and she leaned closer to him, holding his hand in hers. “Thank you Ubbe. For being there when I needed you. Thank you for protecting me. Thank you for —“ her next words lost when Ubbe pulled her onto his lap in a deep kiss. 

“I love you” he mumbled into her lips. When she pulled back and stared at him, he felt his face heat up “I didn’t mean— I mean I do but— you don’t have to” he groaned and threw his head on her shoulder. He felt her body shake with laughter and he looked up at her

“I love...when you get nervous” she teased him, her thumb running up and down his beard. “I love...when you protect me” she locked her arms around his neck “and most of all, do you know what I love?” Ubbe shook his head, embarrassed that he had just blurted out his feelings for her so quickly “I love you” she didn’t give him time to process her words before standing from his lap, to properly straddle him and letting her lips find his again. 

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Ubbe had been the best thing to happen to her. She didn’t know what she did to deserve him or what she did to deserve Torvi. “He came for you again” she muttered to Y/N as they trained together. “Don’t worry. I told him to go away” Y/N got the upper hand and pinned Torvi down, blade against her neck

“Thank you” she breathed out harshly. She helped Torvi up and shook her head. “I don’t know why he suddenly wants my forgiveness.” She set her sword down and sat on the ground, face in her hands. 

“He says he loves you” Torvi sat beside her. “Got into a huge argument with Ubbe. Accused Ubbe of sabotaging your relationship and told him that he wants you back” 

“If he had fought for me that hard when we first broke up, we would still be together. He’s the one that pushed me away in the first place.” She felt Torvi stroke her back, an attempt at comforting her. 

“I mean, maybe it’s true. Maybe Bjorn has changed and-- I don’t know Y/N. Would you take him back?” Unbeknownst to the two women, Ubbe had begun walking toward them and could hear them chatting. Did she want his brother back? Would she run back to him after everything? He heard her laugh and saw her stand shaking her head.

“He doesn’t love me Torvi. He’s obsessed. Obsession isn’t love. Besides, even if it was love..” As she turned to face Torvi, she caught sight of Ubbe who waved in their direction, pretending to not have heard anything, “I found my happy ending. I have no plan on letting it go” she mumbled the last sentence before walking over to Ubbe and planting a kiss on his cheek.

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She couldn’t hide forever, she knew that. If she ran into Bjorn then so be it. But she missed her friends at the stalls and so she went back and spoke with some, bought some things, caught up on everything happening in Kattegat. She had confided in one of her friends where she had been residing, a little hut outside of the city, and told her to come by some time for supper. Oh how she wished she hadn’t told her. She didn’t know it was going to come back and bite her in the ass. It was the middle of the afternoon, she was making dinner and heard pounding on the door. That’s weird, she thought, Ubbe has the key, he never knocks. She went to open the door and there stood Bjorn, eyes red and flowers in hand “Bjorn. What..what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

“Your friend, Agatha told me.” He chuckled at the memory of earlier in the day when he had stopped by her stall and sweet talked her until she gave up any information she had. “Can we talk?”

Y/N nodded and moved aside, letting him come in. He pushed the flowers in her direction and she grabbed them with a small smile. “Thank you Bjorn. You didn’t have to.” He sat down at the table and looked around. “Why are you here Bjorn?” she set the flowers down on the table and sat across from him. 

“I love you” he began and she scoffed, but he continued “I made a mistake, several mistakes. I see that now. You’re the only thing on my mind Y/N. We are meant to be, why can’t you see that? We always work out our problems, why is this time any different?”

She moved the hair from her face nervously and took a deep breath. “I’m with Ubbe now Bjorn and I’m happy. Why can’t you understand that? You and I? We’re over and we’re not getting back together. You hurt me far too much. Did you think I would just wait around forever for you?” Without thinking he said yes and instantly regretted it as he saw the anger in her eyes. “Of course you did. You’ve never stopped to think about how I felt, what I sacrificed to be with you. Look,” she took another deep breath as she stood and walked closer to him “I’m happy now, with Ubbe. Will it last forever? I don’t know, but I hope it does. I love him and you’re not going to change that.”

“Then I’ll wait” he smiled, standing as well, his fingers softly caressing her cheek. “I’m a patient man Y/N. I’ll wait for you to realize that Ubbe isn’t the man for you, I’ll wait for you to realize that I am who you are meant to grow old with. Because I love you.” She didn’t know what to say. She knew this wasn’t love, it couldn’t be, but even if he did love her like he claimed, she had moved on and she was happy with her choice. 

“Bjorn you’re not listen--” She reached up for his hand and heard Ubbe walk in talking about something that had happened in the great hall today, but his smile quickly faded when he took in the scene before him. Bjorn smirked at him and Y/N moved away from Bjorn and toward Ubbe. She greeted him with a kiss to the cheek and Ubbe looked down at her. He trusted her, he did, but Bjorn just got under his skin. 

“What is he doing here?” His jaw was clenched and the two brothers stared each other down intently. “You joining us for dinner brother?” His arm wrapped around Y/N protectively and let his hand rest on her hip. Bjorn’s eyes followed Ubbe’s hand and he felt the anger boil inside of him. How dare his brother touch what properly belonged to him?

“Bjorn was just leaving,” she spoke up before things could get any more tense. The last thing she wanted to do was get between two brothers. They were family and they were acting far from it. Right on cue Bjorn let his shoulders drop and he smiled at her, asking her to walk him out. She nodded and left the comfort of Ubbe’s arms to follow Bjorn out. 

Bjorn knew Ubbe was staring them down, so before walking out of the door he turned to say goodbye and he bent down to place a lingering kiss on her cheek “Remember, whenever you’re ready to accept fate, I’ll be waiting for you. He isn’t right for you and you know it.” She tried to hush him and usher him out the door but he was intent on having the last word. “I know he can’t satisfy you the way I can” Another quick kiss to her other cheek, a bit too close to her lips for Ubbe’s comfort as he stormed forward and pushed his brother out the door before slamming it. 

“What was he doing here?” He shouted, not at Y/N, he was just frustrated, and scared of losing her to his brother. The only other man she had ever been with, her first love. Y/N was still in a bit of shock at what had just happened. That had been everything she wanted when they broke up. For him to tell her he had made a mistake, that he wanted her and no one else, yet, she didn’t feel the satisfaction she thought she would. Ubbe called her name, to get her attention and she shook her head and walked back to the food she was making before it burned. 

“You know why he was here” she sighed loudly. At least the food was fine. She moved to get plates, but Ubbe stopped her. He grabbed her hands and pulled her focus to him. “He asked me to go back to him” she shrugged, not really knowing what else to say. 

“And are you?”

“And am I what Ubbe?” she looked at him confused, not sure exactly what he was asking her.

“Are you going back to him? Look I understand if you need time to think about it, I know how important he was to you.” He was trying to be okay with the situation, but she could hear the sorrow laced in his voice. 

“Yes, he was” she began and moved out of Ubbe’s grip. He flinched slightly as she pulled away, this was it. He was going to lose her. “Was, as in past tense.” He perked up slightly as she continued talking. “Ubbe Lothbrok, son of Ragnar, I am not going anywhere. I love you and only you.” She saw a smile quickly replace the scowl on his face “But if you let the food burn, I will leave you” He chuckled and nodded, grabbing the plates for her. 

“So we’re okay?” he mumbled as he sat down at the table. She placed both plates down and wrapped her arms around her boyfriend from behind. Her lips found their way to his shoulder, neck and jaw as she hummed in agreement. “You made my favorite” he observed, “and you smell of my favorite oils,” she giggled beside him and sat down to eat saying nothing “you’re wearing the necklace my mother gave us for protection for if we decide to start a family…” She eyed him cautiously, waiting for him to put it together. “Wait..are you..” She nodded quickly and she had never seen him move so quickly as he picked her up from her spot and twirled her before putting her down looking scared “Oh gods, did I hurt you? I’m sorry” she laughed again and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“So you’re happy?” she asked. She had been afraid to tell him, they had after all not been together for long.

“Are you kidding me? The gods have given us a child!” He exclaimed loudly, proud “I was worried you were going to leave me..” he admitted as he looked down at her features and she looked back at him shocked.

“Leave you? Why would I leave you? I love you Ubbe. Nothing can change that and now, we’re going to have a little one running around. Are you sure this is what you want? Because I wouldn’t blame you if you weren’t ready or if you needed time to think--” All her insecurities suddenly surfaced as she rambled, but they were forgotten when she felt his warm and rough lips on hers.

“I’m going to be a father” he laughed again, still in disbelief. “I promise to always protect you, both of you. I can’t wait to fill you with many more.”

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@encounterthepast 

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@youbloodymadgenius​ 

How do writers write?? I can never seem to keep going. Either the work ends up reading like a pre teen wrote it or it doesn’t make sense.

I’m pretty sure there are some pro techniques and tips to be a good and consistent writer… But I can’t give them to you cause I am a veeeery messy one. Honestly I just love words and wanna have a good time. Sometimes I’ll have a thorough plan of how I want the story to go…but even then once I start writing my brain just does its thing and if I try and force it back to the original layout… well writer’s block happen. Ahh muses, such fickle creatures

So anyway that’s my relationship with writing, I can only help you by telling you what I try to be mindful of (I’m not saying I never fail at that cause boy do I…).

And I’ll do that under the cut cause I got carried away.

Now, when you say it doesn’t make sense, do you mean:

Out of character behaviours? If the characters aren’t yours then do you have a good understanding of them? It might help to reread/rewatch their scenes or look up some trivia about them. If the characters are yours are they fully fleshed out? Have you worked enough on them? Part of the work is writing about them so don’t worry if you haven’t nailed down their personality yet, they’ll grow into their own person the more you think and write about them. Either way be very careful to not use the characters as sole plot devices, you have to consider them actual people or else you might be tempted to change their personality or give them motivations that would normally not be theirs in order to serve your vision. Consistent writing is important, nothing matters or makes sense if the rules change with the wind. Writers are not puppet masters, you can only choose to put a certain character in a certain situation, once that’s done you should step back and let the character react and handle the situation in their own specific way. You can give little pushes in certain directions, but not drag them along a path their story and personality would normally not allow them to walk. If the characters do act differently than they usually do then it must be motivated by something. Character growth/development is an important thing and can be pretty lowkey, but you still got to drop some hints here and there that they are changing or else it’ll feel like it was just written for shock value. The opposite, characters reverting back to their former selves, can also happen (as it does in real life, we all have our relapses) but like any issue it needs to be at least acknowledged if not addressed.

It’s hard to understand what’s going on or what’s at stake? Try to keep things simple at first. Write smaller pieces. Don’t go crazy with the drama or the plot twists if you don’t feel comfortable with it. You have to know where you’re going with your story, but it doesn’t mean you have to go far. You can write about many things, it doesn’t need to be a big adventure, you can also describe a quiet and simple moment… If you want to write a big adventure though… Well that’s not exactly my strong suit but again I think you need to know where you’re going. Not every detail obviously, but a general understanding. If you’re confused about the plot or what’s at stake then your writing is going to be messy and confusing too. If you can’t pick a direction for your story why not write two? Also drafts are your friends. Write the structure, get rid of anything superfluous and focus on the core at first. Then add some depth and layers. Revise your work (looking at myself again), if it feels too bushy and complicated then cut down some unnecessary branches. Let it breath.

You know I used to write so freaking much when I was a pre teen, and I was pretty happy and proud of my work. After a while though, I realised that most of it was incredibly self indulgent and really just… cringey. The realisation hit hard and I was unable to write for a long time after that. I still struggle now, thinking stuff like “ugh self insert much?” “omg who cares?” “your wording is terrible but your pacing is worse” “that dialogue feels forced and unnatural” “stop pretending to be a writer you don’t know shit about writing” etc etc…

And you know what, that’s true I’m not a professional writer, but like I said I just want to have fun with something that brings me joy. I don’t know if cringe culture is a thing or not, but one thing is certain: we should be gentler with ourselves. I’m not saying we should never acknowledge the flaws in what we do, cause being critical is how you grow, but recognising that something can be improved doesn’t mean it’s all bad. We should learn to acknowledge the positive aspects, not just the negative ones.

What I’m saying is don’t put too much pressure on yourself, don’t look down on your efforts, nothing should ruin writing for you.

If it feels like a pre teen wrote it because:

The writing style seems simplistic? That’s not necessarely a bad thing. True, a bunch of short and straight to the point sentences can be a little boring, but overly complicated and fancy sentences that never seem to end or go anywhere can be confusing and tedious to read. Also it might feel like you’re either pretentious or trying to prove something to yourself (I’m looking at myself as I type this). What you want to be careful about though are repetitions. They break the flow and can take you out of the story. Expanding your vocabulary is always a good thing too but it’s important to not sacrifice consistancy for fanciness. What I’m saying is that your writing style can change from one work to another but not within the same work so be mindful to not switch from one level of language to another.

It’s self indulgent? Who cares? No really it’s okay if you want to indulge yourself, your writing your rules. Now if you don’t want it to be then analyse your work and see where you might be bending things to suit you. Are the characters acting like themselves? Is someone given more importance than necessary? Are the plot devices too cheap? etc…

Uh I feel like I rambled a lot and still forgot some important stuff (I really am an old lady)… So if any of you has some questions or things they’d like to discuss with this mess of a writer my inbox is always open!

TLTR: writing is the only way to get better at it

World: Alternia

Name: Erenyx Erixck (Try saying that 3 times fast)

Age: 8 sweeps

Theme/Story: Since her hatching, Erenyx has been very intelligent. Unfortunately, she’s also batshit crazy. Erenyx gives off an aura of “not quite there”, often randomly staring off into the distance and generally acting weird. She’s very into hypnosis and mind control, trying to command lower blooded trolls with varying methods and success. 

Local Mod With Psychotic Symptoms Here: Please Stop Making Characters Whose Entire Gimmick Is “Not Being All There.” I hope this doesn’t come off as rude, but I want to teach you how to be a stronger writer. It’s not as scary or edgy as you think it is and it is 100% of the time more of a stressor for the person who has the condition than for anyone else. 

People who are most often stigmatized with the “““batshit crazy”““ label don’t want to harm others and experience significantly higher rates of violence directed towards than the general population because of stereotypes like these! Staring off into the distance and “acting weird” aren’t villainous traits. They’re just how people are sometimes. The “crazy genius” is a strung out trope that’s just shorthand so you can get away with not writing character motivation! We’re gonna dissect your girl like a frog specimen and take out her tender Character Traits to build her back better. Bionic frog. 

So to give you a stronger starting base here: If you want a troll to be a bad person, make them a bad person. It’s so much more interesting than them being randomly “crazy” and wacky. Make them malicious, and not because they’re ~not all there~. We’re gonna call New “Bionic Frog” Erenyx a bastard because she thinks she’s better than other people. She was born with strong psionics and she thinks that means she’s a cut above the rest, she thinks they should respect her and like her, and that’s why she wants to control others. 

(Cosigned as another mod with psychotic symptoms like… it’s not a great look. Also: Everyone on Alternia is terrible for the most part. It was DESIGNED that way in-universe. It’s a planet of hormonal teenagers who are encouraged to murder their friends and neighbors for kicks. You don’t need a “batshit crazy” smokescreen to just write a terrible fantroll. Vriska already exists, and she doesn’t have anything like that.)

Goals: Due to her, let’s say, interesting personality, Erenyx has no friends. So, she reasons, why not hypnotize lowbloods to become her friends? (I thiiiiink you misread my section on Goals: These are for you and us, not your fantroll’s ambitions (though nice information to have). I’m going to do this as a general review in lieu of anything specific.)

Strife Specibus: Yoyokind. It’s got a swirly pattern and spikes, naturally.

Fetch Modus: I never bother to think these up, it’s more trouble than it’s worth honestly. (Lowkey agree with you there- I’m horrendous with these. I do think something to help flesh out this spiral motif might be fun? Impressionism, maybe? Some late-Picasso looking art and she’s gotta find the items in it?)

She could also have to solve a maze or labyrinth to get out. Or you could go with something that plays on the Cobra angle and do a snake charmer joke with her playing a pungi. 

Blood Color: Gold

Symbol: Actually, I haven’t decided yet. I don’t know why, I just never get round to it.

You could probably rip a symmetric chunk for a pattern like this and have a pretty good gold symbol on your hands.

Handle: mesmerisingOptics [MO]

Quirk: Undecided

If she loves to seem purposefully confusing, you could mix up her words. Organize her sentences in a way that people usually don’t. The best example I can think of this is… I used to follow this RP blog a while back, amusedmuralist, and the way sentences are structured here is what I’m thinking. “Waste your lowly selves not the time allotted you.” 

A generally ‘better than thou’ attitude and insults/put downs can go a long way, too. 

Special Abilities: Various methods of hypnosis, most of which aren’t very good.

Lusus/Guardian: Cobra Lusus

I do like this a Lot but what about . Kaa. She could face the common troll problem of having a lusus that needs to eat other trolls, and she needs to trap them to feed her snakemom before her snakemom gets hungry and turns on her! 

Personality: As stated above, she’s not exactly the most sane troll on the block. Likes to dish out weird threats to innocent passerby and giggle to herself for no reason. Likes spirals. (This is barely even window dressing on a personality- you’ve made her theoretical, stereotypical mental illness her whole character. You’re overcommitting to a pretty bad gimmick, to be frank.) (To quote the EZ Gold Signs: “Gold Signs are interested in a wide variety of topics, so they tend to be Jacks-of-all-trade, and can have trouble dedicating themselves to just a single hobby or career. They have a tendency to be high-energy, and can stress people out, including themselves.” This may be a good place to start for a character like this.)

And as I’ve said above, she believes she’s a cut above the rest. She could be a little on the cruel or at least inconsiderate side, a better-than-you type. She could look down on other blood colors and the like. Another gold fact from the EZ is that golds love The Hustle, they like making bank. You could play on a manipulation and control angle and instead of relying on a bad mental illness stereotype, make her an extortionist playing mental health professional? Come to her Hypnosis Clinic, she’ll definitely help you get a good night’s sleep/work through your trauma/cut that chalk eating habit! [Fails to brainwash you] 

Interests: Hypnosis, obviously, and other methods of controlling people. Spirals, swirls, other similar things. (You say Spirals and my first thought is early game Uzumaki. Maybe she has an interest in strange art? Really underground, indie shit that the Highbloods would NEVER see as equal to their epic sculptures and Clowns and stuff.)

Actually, I want to step a layer deeper here. What are spirals traditionally associated with in homestuck? C h e r u b s. And what is there evidence of on Alternia? Giant Snake (Cherub) Corpses. And given that the purples worship the merciful messiahs, I’d be unsurprised if spirals actually featured rather heavily in Clown Church Religion. Erenyx could have an interest in art history on top of an interest in modern perplexing imagery. She could be interested in finding the deeper meanings. She could think that she, in all her GENIUS WISDOM, understands this art and the meaning behind it better than anyone else and that she’s unlocked some hidden truth that means she deserves to be in charge. 

It could also be a sparking point for her interest in hypnosis- maybe her psionics don’t actually lend themselves well to mindcontrol, but she’s trying to jack into whatever force allows purplebloods to Chucklevoodoo.  

Lunar Sway: See symbol.

She’s a prospitan if I’ve ever seen one. 

Title: See lunar sway. (I think if hypnosis is her game, she’s probably a Heart/Mind inversion player. Actively messing with people’s brains, passively messing with their souls and identities.)

Yeah, cheesy as it is, I’d rule her as thief of mind. Or witch. One of those. 

And design corner time: 

Hair: I cannot believe you gave me a spiral character and didn’t give her SWIRLS. I had to just embiggen the hair a little more. Big hair on alternia is associated with the Condesce and thus power, so having a big spirally mess of it? Screams Better Than You. 

Face: I adjusted her mouth’s position mildly and changed the glasses to cherub colors as a reference to that cherub comment I made up there, but you could change them out for any appropriate themeatic colors- she didn’t have any Accents before! 

Outfit: I changed her outline and sweater color to go for something lighter, so the hair would stand out from it better. I added a conceptual symbol for her! Golds don’t wear patterns, so her socks are solid yellow now. I also fixed up her shoes by bringing in tavros’ sandals to edit. You don’t need to draw out individual toes on a sprite form wearing shoes, or else the area gets visually complicated! 

Other than that I love this design a lot. 

MY FRIEND! Tell me about your OCs! ;D I know you're a creative person, an artist and I think a writer as well. I feel like you've got some really well developed OCs, and I'm so curious to meet them and get to know the kinds of worlds are alive in your mind!

:,) I have waaaay too many. For the Persona series alone, I have 20+ and that’s for a Persona 6 concept fic I have going on at Ao3. But I’ll share some of my favorites and separate them by fandom/original novel.

Bnha

Li Fong: smol angry, kinda moody boi (not that small actually, he’s like my height) who is an international student at U.A. from Hong Kong. He can generate portals with his mind (2 at a time, Portal-inspired unlike Kurogiri). He was traumatized (long story short, abusive family, he walked in on his mother’s dead body while his asshole father was throwing a rage fit, and “killed” his father in self-defense by reflecting his father’s knife attack with portals, but not really because his father is immortal technically), so he experiences a block with his quirk until he gets help. Depending on how the roleplay on Discord goes, he can become a villain or hero.

Otsuka Kyouma: tol beautiful boi with an ENFJ smile who graduated top of his class (#3) at U.A. before Mirio and crew. He’s really kind and compassionate, but won’t take people’s shit, also usually bright and smiley until he’s not. He’s a pro-hero who goes by Seraphim, which came from his quirk Hypnotic Illusion: he can induce a hypnotic field on people within his field of vision and make them see whatever he wants them to see, like a dream master of sorts. His favorite thing is to disguise himself as a biblical angel and terrorize the enemies out of spite or for information gathering.

He worked for Endeavor’s agency for the first few years of his hero career, and decided to transfer to the police force in Hosu City (where he meets and partners with ISTP’s jerk OC, Hirai Kaito, and becomes enamored with the detective) when his career didn’t go anywhere. Also, fun fact: Kyouma got his 6 eyes from his mother, who is a brightly colored hero who can do anything a mantis shrimp can, in water and on land.

David Li: aaaaa I hope no one who’s reading Our Hero Academia is reading this. David is an absolute villain who desires control and reaches from his goals to destroy criminal activity...with more criminal activity. He’s two-faced: to the public he projects a kind politician sort of air who backs the heroes and defends justice, but behind closed doors he is leading a network of organizations (triads, yakuza, villain groups, and of course, his branch of the government) with a terrifying power. He’s known as the Shinigami, a merciless contractor, but to those who are closest to him, he still retains compassion (even though it’s twisted sometimes) and tries to treat innocents right.

Before he became a politician, he was an immortal hero named Agent Sun who often worked in USA and China as an assassin-type, superhuman type figure. While he does have above-average strength, speed, and agility, most of that came from training rather than a quirk. Instead, his actual quirk is the ability to take and give time from anyone’s lifespan who he comes into direct contact with. He has at least 500 years added to his clock, so he’s been around since the 1st and 2nd generation of quirk-users, plus he was sort of rival-buddies with All For One.

[For the record, David is NOT Li Fong’s father. Still related though, just by an extra generation]

Persona

Shirogeki Haku: Oof, Haku is a bit of a mess. He’s a bisexual trans guy with a somewhat strained relationship with his traditional parents, living in Tokyo with his attorney cousin to study Computer Science with a focus in AI at Tokyo University. Furthermore, he has a constant self-depreciating attitude because of factors like his identity and his thalassemia, which has worsened since childhood so it gets in the way of a lot of things he used to love doing (soccer). He also lacks self-preservation because he thinks he’ll die early anyways, so he lowkey jumps at the chance to use the cognitive ‘verse to a) run away from his illness since he finds the effects of his anemia aren’t as strong there and b) to put his life on the line as the new group’s Wildcard, which is seriously concerning to criminal profiler!Akira after the Shadow Operatives, Investigation Team, and the Phantom Thieves team up with the new persona users.

His arcana is the Fool, but he also represents the Tower. His persona is Karna, a hero-turned-villain from the Mahabharata.

[I have so many plans for this character, it’s gonna be a wild ride in Icarus]

[And I’m leaving it at that for Persona; if I start talking about Zuni, Sora, or Help Wizard, I’m not going to stop so a separate ask, post, or DM about this particular fandom would be more wise lmao]

Water Runs Clear (original novel series)

Lan Honglian: LHL is the crown prince of Mei, until his father’s, Lan Jinyun’s, most trusted advisor, Chen Zhongming, betrays Mei, kills the royal family, and takes the throne for himself. CZM’s oldest son, Chen Yongyi, betrays his father by saving LHL and taking LHL to a far away village to be taken care of by a cultivator elder.

Anyhow, terrible childhood aside, LHL learns to be a cultivator under like five different masters through his pre-teen and late teen years, growing excessively bitter and obsessed with vengeance after seeing the mistreatment of the impoverished. In his early 20s, he joins the Kongxuan sect and starts leading different rebellion missions under the fake, super generic name, Jiang Mingxin (it’s so generic that if you knock down a store sign in the city, you’ll hit five of them), and in a mask+weimao that covers his features, since his green eyes and dark skin draw too much attention and CZM knows LHL is out there somewhere.

Chen Yongxue: CYX was LHL’s childhood best friend and sworn brother until CZM’s betrayal and the palace siege. While CYX is resentful of his father for the betrayal, the execution of Chen Yongyi for saving LHL, and his mother falling deathly ill after CZM’s first wife kills herself, CYX feels more helpless and just does what he could to limit the extents of the new policies under his father’s rule. CYX, in his early 20s, is an investigator for the royal guard whose purpose is to track down and capture rebels from the Kongxuan sect.

LHL and CYX’s friendship was crumbled after the betrayal and LHL eventually learning about CYX’s role as a head investigator, so LHL harbors a lot of bitterness toward his once-best-friend. CYX feels guilt and doesn’t blame LHL, even to the point of telling LHL that it’s his every right to kill him for the murder of his parents.

[LHL and CYX eventually make up once LHL realizes that CYX still cherished their sworn brotherhood.]

[Also they’re gay for each other.]

Yang Xinxuan: A Taoist priest from the Tiebing sect, the protag of another novel that happens almost concurrently with LHL’s story. YXY is a terrifyingly powerful cultivator, who is no-nonsense, serious, and, most of all, oblivious to romance. He once fought Death (literally, he fought the Heibai Wucheng) and got away, albeit injured. Later, another Death (Yanluo) becomes enamored with him, though every flirtation goes over his head.

YXY got his stubbornness and resolve from growing up orphaned and trained under top cultivators at his sect.

Zhang Xiaohen: A stony-faced, strict cultivator who was in Tiebing before she joined Kongxuan and later took LHL in. She rarely is angered, but the last few times she did get angered did not end well: after discovering her siblings were still alive, she impulsively went to confront the nobles that had taken them as servants and got thrown out of Tiebing for it.

Liu Shuangyu: Another cultivator in Kongxuan who is known for her musical cultivation technique. Working as a mercenary of sorts, she brings chaos pretty much everywhere until she decides to settle in Zhang Xiaohen’s village, but still acting as a bad influence for LHL.

[They are also in love and basically LHL’s moms.]

Was It Love?: KDrama Review 

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Bingo Card For Was It Love? 

Synopsis: Noh Ae Jung [Song Ji Hyo] is a single mother and works as a producer for a movie company. She has not had a boyfriend in the past 14 years, but 4 men appear in front of her. Oh Dae Oh [Son Hojun] is a mysterious best-selling novel writer. Ryu Jin [Song Jongho] is a popular actor. Koo Pa Do [Kim Min Joon] was once a gangster, but he is now the CEO of Nine Capital financial company. Oh Yeon Woo [Koo Jasung] is a PE teacher at a school. 

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 6 out of 10 

I actually really liked the plot idea; at least, in the sense of what it sounded like in the description. I was pulled in because of Song Jihyo, but also because it was about single-motherhood. However, the execution of the actual plot... wow. While the overall concept was a good idea, there were just some misses that they could have hit easily. 

Who’s the Father - this was the main storyline and I kind of liked it, until they kept dragging it out. It was obvious Dae-Oh was the father, considering that he was the only one with a deep history with her. Everyone else’s romances felt rather shallow, so we were able to understand from the get-go who the male lead is and who was most likely the father. 

The Mother-Daughter Relationship - I’ll dive into it later with the characters, but these two had a good-ish relationship. It just felt strained due to all the miscommunication. Their relationship was supposed to be apart of the main plot, considering it centered on the question of: who’s Hani’s father? But the writers didn’t really do that. We got some glimpses of it in the beginning, but then it just centered on Ae-Jeong and Dae-Oh’s romance and it just kind of fell apart. 

All The Miscommunication - this was literally the root of all the problems in the drama and I was just... annoyed. If they had all just talked to one another, there would have been no drama at all. It just felt so more melodramatic than it should have been, when it could have all been easily solved. 

Characters: Rating - 6 out of 10 

↣ Noh Ae-Jeong [played by Song Jihyo] - I actually kind of liked her character the most compared to the other characters. I mentioned in 100 Days, My Prince about how I love seeing strong female leads; single motherhood is hard and watching her try to make things work, without giving up her life, dreams or child was very satisfying. She always put her best effort into what she did and tried not to let people walk over her. However, her character felt kind of weak as the drama progressed because the events that happened around her were not due to her choices. Apparently, the development became: she’s independent and learned to lean on someone; in reality, it should have been about communicating with others to work things out or something. 

↣ Noh Hani [played by Um Chaeyoung] - I don’t know how, but Hani was acting exactly like a 13/14 year old and acted more mature at the same time. She had fights with her mom, she struggled making friends, she makes dumb decisions, etc. I liked that side better because it felt more appropriate; she’s a teenager and she’s going to throw fits and be dumb because that’s what being young is about. I don’t like how the writers made her have this double side. There were also some scenes where I felt concerned for her: meeting up with a whole stranger (Ryu Jin) to adopting a dog that she couldn’t care for. There were just too many holes to her character and I didn’t like that they made her inconsistent, which is due to the writing but still. 

↣ Oh Dae-Oh [played by Son Ho-Jun] - out of the characters, I think Dae-Oh had the most development. A lot of people say that they didn’t like him, but I do appreciate that he became better by the end of the drama, whereas most of them remained the same. In the past and when they first met again, it’s clear he’s arrogant and petty and demanding of her. However, by the end, he’s realized that his actions have consequences and he tries to be more careful and understanding. I think the whole daughter situation made him wake up and he realized the types of sacrifices that Ae-Jeong had to make. That doesn’t exclude him from the stereotypical male lead in dramas tho, so points are docked off. 

↣ Ryu Jin [played by Song Jongho] - I hate him. Okay, hate is kind of strong. I kind of pitied him because of CEO Song and how he got stuck in that relationship with her. However, the whole “I saw her first” and deleting the text was a dick move and I grew to hate him. Like, bruh, how are you still friends with Dae-Oh? I did find him funny because of his wild and dramatic imagination, but there was just so much I didn’t like about him. Even if Hani was his child, he was so hesitant to claim responsibility compared to Dae-Oh. Hani even hated him and I did not blame her. I also hated how he met up with her rather than trying to communicate with Ae-Jeong about what was happening. I did like that he took Hani to see how her biological parents fell in love at the university but, again, too much to dislike about him. 

↣ Oh Yeonwoo [played by Koo Jasung] - okay, I actually hated him though. Unpopular opinion: he was the most annoying possible love interest. Everyone trashed Dae-Oh, but no one said a thing about how toxic Yeonwoo is. I did like that he bonded with Hani and, by the end, he just wanted them to be happy. However, he was the most useless character and he only caused more problems rather than solved them. He’s Hani’s teacher and he chose to live with them; his mom hates Ae-Jeong for “stealing him away” and made Ae-Jeong uncomfortable with his confession and CONTINUED to make her uncomfortable. He always popped up in the most useless times and it was just annoying. Originally, I thought he was cute and then, as time went, he just felt more and more unnecessary to the plot. 

↣ Koo Pado [played by Kim Minjoon] - 10/10 the best character of this drama. I absolutely loved him and his relationship with his son. Originally, I had no idea as to where this sub-plot was going, but I actually kind of liked the way it went (although the whole Chinese mafia made me confused for a bit). Anyways, Pado was precious as time went, especially since he adopted a son who’s not even biologically his. He was super funny too because he didn’t mean to sound so ominous, but his red pen made it look so threatening. I really liked him throughout the drama, even though I knew they weren’t going to end up together. I really wanted more scenes of him and Ae-Jeong being friends that bonded over single-parenthood and lowkey sticking out during the parent meetings. 

Personal Notes: I hated Ahrin [played by Dasom] because she kept going after a guy who was in a relationship and continued to disrespect boundaries throughout the drama. Like, girl, chasing after a romantic relationship with the director of your film? This couldn’t wait until after? I only leaned into her a bit when she stood up for Ryu Jin, but also they’re both assholes who kind of deserve each other. Speaking of Ryu Jin, I still don’t understand how they still are friends after all of that. In the end, they were still friends and I was just so confused because they were so... separated by the end of it and never really got closure? There was just a lot happening and I did not enjoy it. 

Romance: Rating - 5 out of 10 

This romance was kind of mediocre. While I liked the ex to lovers trope going on, there were too many things blocked me from enjoying it. I want to start first from their romance in college. Dae-Oh puked on Ae-Jeong’s shoes to stop her from kissing someone else; while it’s creative, it was still pretty manipulative, but at least he was honest about his intentions? He proceeded to kind of harass her into getting a meal with him and then intentionally ate a clam (something he’s allergic to) to get her to do something for him. I was getting war flashbacks of the Notebook all over again. Although, I do like the moments of when they were dating; it was cute to see Dae-Oh to try and impress Ae-Jeong by stealing that large deli umbrella or when he was trying to make her laugh during a boring class. I understood the fall out, but, again, communication would have solved that easily and they could have lived a much different life. When they reunited, it was entertaining no doubt because he was “getting his revenge” but, by the end of it, he regretted everything. While it was nice to see that change in him and that romance between them blossomed, I think the main thing I couldn’t get pass was the fact that he just left her after things were getting hard. Just when they could have mended their bond and Hani could have a father like she wanted, he just left. Again, I liked the snippets of their romance, but overall... it was kind of half-assed. 

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 8 out of 10 

I loved the other characters in the story. Noh Ae-Jeong’s mother is the absolute bomb; while she was a bit nosy, there was that warmth from a mother, especially when she was calling out to all those people that were gossiping about her family and when she showed up to the parent meetings. There was so much I loved about her. I already expressed my love for Pado and Dongchan, so yeah. We love their father-son dynamic and watching them grow and bond is so satisfying. As for the other characters, there wasn’t anyone else I was particularly attached to. I did like Ae-Jeong’s assistant and felt really bad for her too because of all the chaos that unravels. The two points off the ten is because of Ryu Jin and Ahrin; they’re selfish characters and didn’t really learn anything other than pity themselves. By the end, they got together but I didn’t feel anything towards them. I think Ryu Jin was supposed to be likable as a second male, but it just didn’t work for me. There’s also Yeonwoo and we already know how much I don’t like him. Overall, I think the characters portrayed their parts accordingly and contributed to the plot (for the most part), but there were just some that made me frustrated. 

Additional Notes: 

The Last Episode - Yikes. That last episode was a mess. It was clear they threw in a conflict last minute so there could be ANOTHER separation period, even though Dae-Oh was supposed to take responsibility for Hani and I’m just so confused. There was already the 14 years because of the pregnancy and then they just threw in two more for the heck of it? God. On the other hand, I did like the glimpse of Hani and Dongchan’s wedding. It was cute. Other than that, this episode was disastrous. 

This was more melodramatic than romantic or comedic like they implied for it to be. Again, all of the conflicts were due to miscommunication and all the confrontations were so dramatic. Hani gets a free pass because she’s 13/14, but the adults? They needed to get it together, but they were all acting like they were teenagers and... ugh. 

The College Flashbacks - I actually did enjoy these snippets. It was super cute to see how they were like as a couple and I feel like there should have been more time spent on that. I think there would have been more benefit to spend the time with them throughout college and then having their time skip the 14 years and Hani’s born.  

Overall Rating: 6.5 out of 10 

Recommended?

↣ Yes: this was a drama with multiple love lines for all sorts of people (exs to lovers, Noona-romance, mafia love line, etc.). It felt like You’re Beautiful, just less painful when the second male lead was rejected. This was also a drama with multiple things happening, so if you want more than just one plot, you kind of get it here. There’s also a lot of focus on family, since it’s about being a working, single mother. There’s also lots of flashbacks, so if you like putting little puzzles of the plotline together, this is for you. There’s also a lot of flawed characters, which makes it easier to connect with them and the choices they made. 

↣ No: there’s a lot happening, but also not much is happening. Either a lot is happening all at once or things are progressing over a long time. As things progress, it also might get frustrating to watch. This is more of a slow burn drama, where the two don’t really get together until near the end. Again, the characters are flawed, so they make some mistakes that might be frustrating for you to watch or it’s hard to understand why they did some of the things they did. I would also say that this has a bit more drama, so if you are looking for a romantic comedy, this isn’t exactly the one for you. 

Monsta X Personality Reference for Fanfiction Writers

disclaimer: these could be completely off because obviously I don’t know the guys personally but this is just my assessment of their personalities from being supporting them since No Mercy and writing about them for a while :D

Okay so Shownu is slightly stiff, but not in a mean way? He'd just prefer not to talk or show much emotion, even to his close friends because he feels like he can deal with his emotions alone and doesn’t want to burden anyone. As a leader, he's very responsible, but he's one of those quiet leaders that watches from afar and gives silent orders but everyone respects him. He's a shy boy and gets flustered easily but with time (and when he's with people he knows well) he becomes more confident. He does things that make people laugh without really meaning to and he's protective of everyone. He's a very trustworthy person.

Wonho is not the type of person to lead, he's a follower. He likes joining in on other people's fun and sharing their happiness. He does have moments where he does speak out and lead the team, but he prefers to just follow instead as he isn't completely confident in his decisions all the time. He has an extremely confident front and he actually is confident in himself both mentally and physically, but he does have moments where he doubts himself and he just curls up and falls into a sad ball but he never shows it to anyone. He's a very emotional person and extremely sentimental. He loves living in the past and he's thankful for every little thing anyone has ever done for him. He's a big mama's boy and would do anything for her. One of his flaws, in my opinion, is that he trusts easily; he opens up to people quickly and sometimes gets hurt in the process.

Minhyuk is literal sunshine. He is the happiest person and strives to make people smile. He loves attention, just like Wonho, but in a different way. Minhyuk wants people to listen to the crazy things he has to say. He's great at MC-ing so he's a good mood changer and can have a crowd wrapped around his little finger in no time. People are constantly drawn to him, but the thing is with Minhyuk, is that he doesn't open up to people easily. He's quite reserved although he's really loud and open. It's like he has two different personalities, his private one and the one he shows to people. He’s a very sensitive person and an over thinker although he doesn’t show it.

Hyungwon is quite slow with his actions and he can be lazy most of the time, but it's not as extreme as people think. He's actually a very responsible person and he helps bring people together. If people are fighting, Hyungwon is the perfect mediator because I feel like he's an impartial person. He knows what's right and what's wrong and knows not to cross people's lines. He's lowkey extremely caring but doesn't necessarily show it all the time and loves teasing those who he's close to. He's a silent observer in a group who doesn't speak much but instead gets lost in his thoughts. He's a thinker and has many opinions that he doesn’t necessarily always vocalise. 

Kihyun is extremely protective but he doesn't show it. He likes bullying his friends but if someone bullies them, they better watch out from his wrath. Kihyun is a soft boy, he's secretly an extreme romantic. He's got a lot of dimensions to his character but he's reserved about them and likes to put on airs that he's a Strong Man™. He's loves to boast and show off and it can be annoying sometimes, but it's him lmao. He's extremely resourceful and if he's in a bad situation, he's the fastest to respond and start trying to fix it. If something bad happens in his love life then he will sulk and block everyone out until someone comes and knocks him out of it. Although he is responsible, he is very dependant on other people and needs the presence of others around him.

Jooheon is extremely dependant on people. He needs people to take care of him and to show him affection or else he'll probably go crazy lmao. He lives off of attention as well and loves people watching him and babying him. However, if he wants to impress people, he can put on a completely different face. And this different Jooheon also appears when he's passionate about something. That's his trigger, if it's anything that has to do with his passion then he will flip. He's an emotional  person and some could say he's burdensome because he has to constantly share his feelings with someone, but if you treat him well he will literally fall in love right away. He's a very creative person and like Hyungwon, he's a thinker. He can be stubborn sometimes but he can be convinced if you just talk to him gently and with reason. He’s a very reasonable guy.

Okay lastly we have Changkyun who's a really independent person. He's the opposite of Jooheon, he loves doing things on his own. He prefers spending time alone but doesn't mind being in other people's company. He's internally a cringey shy boy but he can give off a confident front even if he is nervous. He doesn't necessarily enjoy when people help him because he thinks he can do it better himself, but he's also always open to constructive criticism. And he loves helping people; whether it's just a simple problem or charity work or whatever, he'll do it. Mostly because he enjoys being thanked in the end lmao. He's a very reliable person and if you entrust him with something, then he will do anything to get it done perfectly. He's one of those people that you think is scattered and lost but he is very calculative and has everything organised in his brain. He's really witty and sharp, also has very fast reflexes and quick reactions.

If anyone has anymore questions my ask box is always open :D

December 2

I’m currently listening to Overwhelming while eating candy corn Jin got me for my bday (so its been a month and yet) and I feel like I have a lot to say that I don’t have someone to tell to all in one sitting so here it goes. A few weeks ago I decided to stay at Biola for the spring but now I am having second thoughts. I am WAY happier at school away from my family/house and the thought of living at home 24/7 aka how summer was aka hell makes me actually want to kill myself. I really hope that there’s a chance Karina and I both go to Fullerton so we can have a place together.  It sounds so fantastical but also just imagining how amazing my life would be is just all I am looking forward to. I think that I am going to end up enrolling late and not get any classes I want because people have already signed up for classes and most are full lo l but yeah. I am suffering from writer’s block. I tried writing tonight and I actually started crying as I was singing but it just didn’t feel right. I really want to write songs that I can 100% sing-cry to and make it feel so right. I just haven’t found it yet.I wonder how Jon Bellion wrote these songs haha. His lyrics are just so fucking wholesome and relevant to so many aspects of my life. Listening to him tho makes me feel so fucking confused cause the first time I saw him, I was “happy” and brown haired and dating John and the last time I saw him in September I was black haired, single, and broken. I still am those three things. Work has taken over my life again.  I am scheduled Friday-Sunday for the next 2 weeks and as $$ as that made me think I was be, honestly it just doesn’t feel worth it right now. Granted, when I get paid, I will probably feel otherwise.  I’ve been telling myself and others that I am okay with things with John. I honestly can’t fucking tell what I am.  I obviously miss him. I am doing fine without him, I will keep doing fine without him, but I miss having that person. I guess it’s slowly transitioning to the point where you miss the feelings and not the actual person. But just typing that made me realize how false that is. I miss John a lot. He was so funny and caring and loved me so much. I honestly think I can now realize that he loved me just as much as I loved him. And I loved him so fucking much. Just being next to him made everything okay.  The night my mom found an empty cartridge in my room and messaged me about it asking and I thought I was done for, and all I did was just cry, John was just there and as terrified as I was, I was okay because of him.  I think its because its December and the holidays are coming and last winter was probably one of the best parts of my life so far. My 6 week winter break was full of shabu, Fiona, my new polaroid, and just freedom. I was so happy I had Sen Nick and Tyler. I was so happy I had my friends at home. Everything was just so nice. And I had the plan to go to slo with Faith before break ended, and it was just so nice. I miss that feeling of being so excited to see John again. As hard and fucking unfair the distance was being with him obviously made it worth it.  I wish I realized how unhappy John was.  But there’s nothing I could’ve done.  And I need to accept that so that I can stop hating myself for not being better.  Maybe I need to take the next semester off.  Maybe I just need to find new things I could enjoy. I don’t think I want to go to Disneyland next week with my family. My sister isn’t talking to me again. I feel like the family is broken again but its just with me. I’m slowly turning back into the person I was during the summer. There are so many people in my past that I want to rekindle things with and just fucking get a meal to catch up, but I can never do that. I don’t want to talk about John I don’t want to talk about how unhappy and depressed I am.  But I am so tired of pretending like everything is okay. I feel like deleting all social media again. Looking on insta after shifts is just shit because I just feel this urge to fucking post but i have nothing to post because I spent my night inside working. Last night was really fun though. I got off work at around 11 I think and came home and showered and was just going to be on my phone for hours till I was okay enough to sleep. I knew Shin wanted to fuck haha but I told him that I felt like shit so he called me and asked what was up and why I’m depressed.  He actually listened even though I was barely telling him everything because then he would probably think I’m insane if he doesn’t already but yeah he told me to just focus on things I love and that it really helps. It’s so admirable how much he loves working out and playing basketball. But yeah we talked for nearly an hour until he decided to get me and I came outside when he said he was here and as I walked out i noticed he was outside walking to me and he gave me a hug and we drove behind Target and sat there for maybe like 30 min just talking and listening to jbel and the script LOL HE SANG THIS ONE SONG SO FUCKING LOUD he said hes never sung that loudly in front of anyone before hahaha i wish i knew what song it was but i will cause he plays it daily. i just hate asking so im gonna have to snake a peek at his phone the next time it plays. my toes were rlly cold and so he started warming my right foot with his hands and blew air into them a lot haha it was so cute and he gave me a dank ass fucking foot massage holy shit. it hurt like a bitch but in the best way possible. my feet/ankles are always so fucked when i work. so it was especially dank. I also didn’t wear makeup and he said I look better without makeup haha i was like ooooooooooooooooooooook but rlly yeah i was happy he said that especially because I’ve been wearing makeup daily because I just hate myself without it. But that day I had a bare face and actually felt okay. He kissed me and he kept saying how he loves kissing me so much. Omg and we made out to jon b like im sorry but it was fucking amazing. ok we also fucked to him too HAHAHAHA  And then kevin told us to cruise outside cydni’s house cause him paul and esther were smoking so we went and as we pulled up, paul looked at us through his open window and we both laughed in the same explosive way HAHAHAHAH and they told us to shut the fuck up jk they just sushed us ahahahah omfg. it was just too gold. i really don’t want to ever smoke in front of shin again but yeah I couldn’t just say no to weed haha so we hit a piece which burned the shit out of my throat and I was pretty faded I guess and shin kept coughing cause we werent hotboxing the car but it was still potent and i felt bad :( and he was like IS SECONDHAND FADED A THING hahahaha and esther had her juul so i hit that and then we left the car to smoke and i smoked a stoog. oh yeah so immediately after we got out of the car to walk to their car in the beginning, we were just standing outside their car as they were sitting inside and shin like immediately took off his jacket (the warm flannel we got at pacsun whom he loves) and gave it to me even tho he was wearing a tshirt and shorts ugh. i took it off before smoking cause i didn’t want it to  smell so he put it back on and he was like “you can wear it once youre done smoking” haha. and he offered to give it back on the way back to his car but i said i was ok. then on the drive to my house i stuck my body out the window to vent out the smell LOL and it was cold as fuck but felt cool esp with shin’s crazy ass driving hahahahah and i was like i wish you had a sunroof and he was like “yeah thats my bad” and i was like NO BITCH IM NOT TRYING TO COMPLAIN ITS NOT UR BAD I MJSUT SAYING lol and shin has told me how much he hates smoking and the extent of it and how its so unattractive to kiss someone whos smoked so im like welp but as i was getting out of the car he was like yeah fuck u u smell i aint kissing you and i made a pout as i was getting out and he was like no wait and he kissed my cheek hehe. and before that he asked if i was feeling better and i said yes and thanked him and he said yeah of course anytime in a tone like ofc bitch. haha i love when he kisses my head T^T but yeah i came home around 4:40 or however long it took to get to my house and I was happy and hickey’d up and i was just so happy we ended up doing that. 

i slept right before 7am and woke up like 11 so yeah i barely slept which is probably why i felt so off today. but i just stayed in bed till my hair cut which was at 2 and kathy was so shocked to see i cut my bangs LOL going on and on about how i never wanted bangs and then i do it and i WISH I DID NOT TRIM THEM LAST WEEK CAUSE THEYRE SO SHORT NOW CAUSE THEY WERE SO UNEVEN AND I LOWKEY HATE MY HAIR AND I WISH I DIDNT GET IT CUT SHORT UGH I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE but im gonna work with it and we’ll see.  I wanna change my hair color again but idk what to change it to.  Then i went to emily’s and we picked up at unity and smoked and caught up and she was doing her interior design homework and i had to leave cause of work which sucked cause i just wanted to actually hang out but i covered shin’s shift today cause he spent all day studying so im glad i got to help him out and if it were anyone else’s shift i would’ve hated myself lol. but he didn’t call me until like 1 or something but i knew he would call eventually and he said he wanted to finish his work early so we could’ve hung out but he has way too much and so we just talked but i could barely talk cause my bitchass sister always fucking goes off about how inconsiderate i am so yeah lmao but yeah and i told him i got off work early to which he said he knew cause i got home around 11 and i ate and he calculated it and theres no way i couldve eaten after getting off at 10:30 and got home HAHAH like he cared enough to think about that.... and then i told him i have work tomorrow 11:30-5 and he said then maybe he’ll come bring me boba 

i dont expect him to but maybe he will im so fucking over work

i cant believe its already sunday tomorrow and i have to go back to school for chapel i think.  fucking kill me. i just want to have free time