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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 7 months

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THEY CAN RAISE KEVIN AND SEAN TOGETHER LISTEN-

#loki #loki spoilers #loki series #oasis's marvel chatter #I NEED IT OKAY #lokius #loving living in delusion <3 #also I came on tumblr to make this post and the very first post on my dash was a lokius post xD #which is extra strange because I rarely see loki posts on my dash lol #anyway #FREAKING OUT #also listen he looked more distraught at mobius disappearing than anyone else #ALSO #OH MY GOSH #THE HAIR SMOOTHING #BRO HAD TO MAKE SURE HE LOOKED GOOD FOR MOBIUS #LIKE HFUWOANLCK WHAT THE HECK #anyway xD #I love them

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replaytech · 2 months

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happy bad batch day to one of my fave characters that’s alive & well & will make a surprise appearance🫶🏻 (feed my delusions please)

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chronicowboy · 1 year

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Its embarrassing really. Eddie would like to make it abundantly clear that he's very aware its embarrassing. Mortifying, even. Humiliating, etcetera.

Really, its nothing.

Its just... Well, the bride had frozen outside, a few feet away from a blossom tree, and the winds had been whipping the petals around them as they worked on her, and Buck had looked so beautiful backlit by the sun as he spoke with the bride about her dream wedding. And then a petal had drifted into Buck's hair, and Eddie had been paying a little too much attention to how it was almost the same shade of pink as his birthmark, and then there had been a searing pain slicing through the juncture of his thumb.

Its nothing.

(Its embarrassing. He's a thirty-five year old man, a firefighter, for god's sake!, and he cut himself because he was distracted by a flower in Buck's hair like a schoolgirl staring at her crush. Yeah, its definitely embarrassing.)

Bobby had sent him back to the ambulance to deal with the cut which is how he finds himself here, trying to rip through the tape with his teeth as he fumbles the gauze he was trying to hold in place with nothing more than will power and an injured thumb.

The gauze drifts away on the same wind that had carried that fucking petal, but a boot stomps on it before it can fly away into the ether. With a sigh, Eddie tilts his head up to squint at Buck.

"Need a hand?" Buck quirks an eyebrow at the sluggishly bleeding cut, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. Eddie has to fight to keep his face blank, Buck's smug joy damn infectious.

Eddie doesn't answer him, just hands Buck a fresh gauze pad and the roll of tape. Buck sets the tape down on the floor of the rig as he crouches and picks up Eddie's hand instead. Eddie has to hold his breath to stop it hitching in his chest, a revelation even Buck wouldn't miss, at the tenderness of Buck's hold. Its achingly gentle, so soft Eddie almost wouldn't be sure anyone was touching him at all if it weren't for the way Buck's fingertips burn into his skin like tattoos.

When Buck leans in close to inspect the wound, so close that Eddie can feel his breath on the skin of his neck, he leans back on his uninjured hand for a moment of respite, a breath of cool air against his warm cheeks.

Buck wipes away the drying blood with a carefulness that Eddie doesn't feel deserving of. Here, in Buck's hands, in Buck's care, he feels like something precious. No, like something holy. Like maybe all the pain and suffering was worth it if this is where he ends up, with Buck rubbing circles into his wrist as he presses the gauze to the cut.

"Hold it there," Buck murmurs quietly, something reverent in the way he moves his hand to make room for Eddie's fingers on the gauze, a choreographed dance like they've done this a thousand times before.

He reaches for the tape, discarding the saliva-sodden piece Eddie had been gnawing at helplessly, and rips off a new length with the serrated edge Eddie had forgotten existed. Buck cradles his hand once again, turning it upside down, and Eddie is irrationally terrified that his heart will appear in his palm as an offering.

(He wonders if Buck would take it, if Buck would know that he already has it, if Buck would tuck it right next to his own for safekeeping.)

Buck slides the tape onto his skin in one swift motion, kind enough not to mention how clammy Eddie's hands are, and smooths the edges of the tape down until Eddie is sure that his skin is going to combust with pure, aching want.

"There you go." Buck grins up at him, still crouched between his legs, something awful and awe-filled in his eyes. Eddie swallows and makes a show of inspecting Buck's work to avoid the heavy weight of Buck's gaze.

"Hm." Eddie twists his mouth into one of his Buck-and-Chris-named frog faces. "Should have had Chim do it instead."

"Excuse you!" Buck squawks indignantly. "I specialise in scratches!" Eddie looks up at him with a stuttering breath, tries to parse whether or not Buck realises what he just said and to whom he just said it. But Buck just scowls up at him, and that's when Eddie sees that goddamn fucking petal is still in his hair. "How'd you even do this anyway?"

"Here," Eddie says before he can think better of it, reaching forward with his bandaged hand, "you've got a little..." He plucks the petal from Buck's curls, fingers twitching to bury themselves there, and holds it out to Buck, so close he has to go cross-eyed to see it.

"Oh," Buck breathes as he takes it from Eddie, a bolt of lightning sparking where their fingers brush.

"You good, Eddie?" Bobby's voice breaks them from their moment, and Eddie jumps to his feet, shoving his litter into his pockets.

"All good, Cap. Nurse Buckley fixed me up." Eddie nudges Buck with the toe of his boot to avoid looking at the pink of his cheeks.

"Figured he would." Bobby's eyes dart between them, and Eddie flexes his hand to ground himself in the flare of pain.

Its nothing.

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lumiello · 20 days

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something

yeah take my late night art

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fellhellion · 1 year

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Something something both A and N engage in self alienation (from one's nature/past) to cope with trauma

#i was going to make a joke about how funny it is that A is living in the self delusion of thinking that in no longer being human they can #abandon all that they associate w their humanity (emotions and the trau #trauma* associated w them) when theyre STILL like that. still arrogant and self assured and all thats changed is that youre telling #yourself a story that allows you to ignore any possibility of change and remain in stasis forever <3 #ONLY for me to realise N does a very similar thing. notably #they try very hard to reconcile humanity to their current vampiric self and arent so much alienated from HUMANITY as they are from their #past and the person they were. theyre extremely alienated from the person they once were on account of tragic backstory #where A purposely alienates themself from identifying w the nature they believe brought ruination to the people they loved #N alienates themself from the person they once WERE and in doing so can never truly move forward from it #the wayhaven chronicles #tunes talks wayhaven #the brainrot i have for this series....unreal

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greetings-humans · 9 months

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rereading one of my fav mid-length codywan fics and skdjfskdfjsal;dfks my children my babies i love them they deserve the absolute best and if anyone ever tries to fuck over their happy ending i will throw hands and im a black belt so fuck you

#tbh im not really a violent person tho so I'm more likely to talk you to submission but a n y w a y s #also the fic is called “Love heals all wounds (so they say)” by K_R_Closson on ao3 #codywan #codywan recs #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #sw tcw #obi wan kenobi fic recs #fic recs #also yes ys canon fucked them over I'm aware BUT BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I WOULDN'T THROW HANDS WITH GEORGE LUCAS OVER THEM #also let me live in my delusion they both survived and retired to fucking Kashyyyk or sth idk #obi trained luke via jedi face time / astral projection and the power he unlocked via darth vader duel was teleportation <3 #deelay words

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munamania · 1 year

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'playing another gay character was really really awesome' dw ruby girlkisser cruz we see u

#ruby cruz #bottoms movie #cant wait to watch her be a hot masc dyke who like blows up some dude's car for funsies lol. my hero fr #UGH waiting till may to see all of them this is so painful. also the way ayo and rachel kept making fun of the interviewer #well they all did. when he said smth kinda silly. i love them #esp when kaia was talking i was like um. can u like. not <3 #edit since people are seeing this ignore me saying may i was living in delusion #and confusion

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ughgoaway · 7 months

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as a writer, I love watching someone go through a series or my masterlist like it's so cool. I'm sitting there thinking, "Oh yes, that blurb, I like that one" and "oh god please don't read that one. don't judge me on that"

if you're reading a whole series or reading all of someone's masterlist, it's so cool to see someone liking each post!!! it's not annoying i PROMISE - it is so nice <3333

#sometimes i cringe when they read my first ever post #i haven't ever re-read it because i just know its so bad #living in delusion #are we shocked #anyway yes if you like every blurb as you read i love u <3

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ankittyxo · 9 months

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Sorry, I'm busy having a date😁

#matthew gray gubler #mgg #delulu time #spencer reid #girlblogging #girlblog #doctor spencer reid #criminal minds #just girly things #just girly posts #my man <3 #heavenly delusion #let me live in my delusions #delulu #love being delusional

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thenothlng · 10 months

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beasein bomb incoming i have to throw these somewhere or i’ll die

CRINGEFAIL under the read more

im losing this battle soooo hard rn they r everything to me. i’ll die forever

#⭐️ : bea #🌌 : dasein #🌠 ship : beasein #w101 #wizard101 #wizsein #BLECH BLECH BLECH GAY PEOPLE GAY PEOPLE I LOVE U SO MUCH UR KILLING MEEEEEEE EEK #🎨 : my art #i’m crazy for putting these on the main tags for real but sometimes ppl have to confront other ppls demons or smthing i dunno they make me.#sillayyyyyyyy :3 #me when i get to live in my world of delusion and they r both happy n nothing has gone wrong #teehe!

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pollenallergie · 8 months

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What if i just drew you and billy what then 👉👈 I hope this is good! and i wish you a good day!!🥺💛

sofotpthduwhehjsudus stop oh my god this is my new favourite thing sldndkdjjfbf oh my god?!?!?!?!?!? this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me??!?!?!?! i’m so fucking sjdnrjbebawbbfndjdje oh my god!!! thank you so much!!!! oh my- this is the best!!! it’s so good!! it’s lovely!!!! you’re lovely!!! thank you so much!! oh my god!! this actually brought tears to my eyes (in a good way)!! i love this so much!!! shjsnansmsksm i am giving you so many virtual hugs rn you have no idea. thank you so much 🥹🥹🥹🥹

i wish i could meet you irl just so i could give you the biggest, bestest hug ever!!! you’re so sweet!! seriously, thank you so much for this!!! this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time!!! i can’t thank you enough! this is beautiful!!! i’ll cherish it forever! thank you so much!

#you’re officially my new favourite person #ily #we are hugging #this is so kind!!!#no one’s ever drawn me before except for me!! and that was when i was like 8 and the self-portrait i did was so bad… like insanely bad!!!#but this??? this is a masterpiece!!! this is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen!!!!! i love it so much!!!!#you made me look so prettyyy #and we look so happyyyyy #hehdhejehhfhfhd #you are feeding my delusions and i love you for it #this is genuinely one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me #from the bottom of my heart #thank you so much!!!#i just akdndjbegegw words cannot describe how much i love and appreciate this!?#ask and i shall reply #HEY SOMEONE TURNED ME INTO ART?!?! SO THATS SUPER FUCKING COOL #i want to climb into this drawing and live in it pls & thanks #moots moots lovely moots <3 #squirrel friend <3 #squirrely <3 #(you let me know which tag you prefer!! or if you’d prefer something else for your tag!!)

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miamicommune · 5 months

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.

#don't think im ever gonna stop living under the delusion that everyone secretly hates me or doesn't want 2 spend time with me #or just. likes everyone else more than me.#it's happened 3 times. not inferred either actually told straight to my face #what are u supposed to even do going on from that #with the knowledge that everyone u cherished and adored never wanted u there #it's been 7 years since the last time and i still don't think i can bring myself to actually fully trust anyone anymore #like. what do u do when u love everyone but nobody loves u.

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jaegonsmoon · 1 year

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It is once again finals season homie and I come with an offering of fluff. Since I usually did all the kids grouping together today I wanted to offer a soft Rhaenyra and Alicent curled together after Athe queens funeral. Alicent curled up around her best friend and running her fingers through her hair while Rhaenyra hides away in Alicents chest and keeps her close

tell me about iiiiitttttttt, I have my prefinals tomorrow and I’m still halfway thru finishing my notes I’m losing it.

I love your cute thoughts, honestly live for those. I like to think that they kept this, that their friendship was strong enough to get past everything that happened. So, Alicent and Rhaenyra who eventually became friends again, like Alicent didn’t throw a fit at Rhae for getting some dick, and their life was so much smoother. Their children get along, sometimes they fight and throw hands like children do, but there’s no hostility among them because their moms decided to be the bigger person. So yeah, Rhaenyra and Alicent in their actual age sometimes get fed up with everyone and choose each other’s company to recharge and relax. They cuddle, they read silently, and giggle about stories and gossips just like they did back then. All is well<3.

#i love living my days in delusion<3 #rhaenyra x alicent

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bellincurl · 1 year

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I appreciate those posts about how getting out of abusive places is hard but ultimately really freeing, and opening yourself up for like genuine kind connection, like that is true, my life is indescribably happier and safer now. But also holy shit. I want so much more, I’m exhausted. I’d give anything to have a place to run back to or some kind of older figure to tell me I’m doing good and I can rely on them if I need it yknow? I’m scratching at reparenting and trying to be kind to myself but it’s hard when I really am all I’ve got out here.

#Like self care and rest and loving yourself is all good. it's what you need to do right but #there's just no space for it. things haven't ever settled down enough for doing proper inwards work.#like i'm ugly so i'm ugly. if parents or a partner not being a concept in my life then that is what it is. if im doomed. then that's that #it's easier to just take it than dream of anything a little bigger or warmer right now.#i'm gonna keep wriggling till it's over and i'll probably have a good time bc i;m a little stupid and a lot more stubborn #but i'm so aware that it's not how i want to live. it's frustrating but i know this is my best. i know i'm doing as much as i can in this.#i need a job so i can stop stressing about money and crawl back out of my trauma delusions #like it's acutally so violently unproductive to spend hours picking at my appearance bc im not a hot skinny twink and #i need to be hot and fashionable to Make up for being the bearer of the curse or whatever like stop. i'm actually sooooo sick of you dog (me #being hot woudln't have made my parents treat me better get over ittttttttttttttt #anyway #lmao <3

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ctrophyduo · 2 years

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c!dapduo are absolute excellence. And for reasons a bit more complicated than may you think.

they are one of my all time favorite friendships and dynamics to come out of this server. i mean considering I’m gonna have to tell my therapist about the numerous dreams iv had about them that has to mean something right. Maybe it’s just the autism. I’ll get back to you on that.

More importantly: you’re probably thinking right now “but cherry! c!dapduo arnt that complicated! Why are you here about to write some extensively long meta about them when you could devote that time to more meta about the Deep, complex, Intricate, Muddled, (insert more neutral but negative leaning adjectives here), probably unhealthy dynamics on the server instead!!” And to the imaginary person iv just made up I say: maybe I want to talk about a nice friendship.

In a borderline grim dark world like the dream smp, there’s something very refreshing about two people who love and care about each other, bring out the best in one another, have a genuine desire to protect one another they express Honestly and Openly.

I like thinking so much about these two because it makes me Happy. Shocking for this server I know.

Also quackity and Charlie are damn good writers!!! I wanna talk about it. People have this idea that only ‘sad’ things can be deep and it makes me really upset. And hey maybe I’m proven wrong in a few days when Quackity’s final lore stream comes out and c!Charlie was evil all along or some shit but until then I’ll happily die on the hill that Things don’t need to be sad and negative to be complex and thought out. Just because c!Dapduo have a healthy friendship doesn’t mean it rules them out of being well written, meaningful and overall complex. And I think it’s a silly sentiment to have regarding the two both individually and in regards to their friendship.

I think truly what I love about these two comes down to what their friendship does for c!Quackity. I remember discussing them recently with someone and made a comment about how important it is c!quackity sees his past self in c!charlie- and they had replied that ‘c!quackity also sees his past self in c!tommy and c!tubbo as well and it’s reflected in the advice he gives the two of them’.

The important distinguisher, and what makes c!dapduo so important is that their dynamic isn’t just c!quackity giving advice he would to his past self- such as what he does with c!clingyduo. It is him learning to accept and love his past self all the same.

Something important about c!quackity is his hatred of his past self. His regret and bitterness is present in his distrust for others yes, but a portion of his distrust comes from hating his past self.

He views past him as being weak, pathetic and he hates him so much for putting up with hurt. For rolling with the punches and being willing to come back for more. He hates his big heart, he hates how trusting he was with it, he hates how he has to hurt so much now because he was a ‘coward’ back then. Why is he suffering consequences from a coward who’d stick by someone for a bit of validation and feeling of importance?

These are all common thoughts abuse victims have. (Especially ones who are coded with BPD, this isn’t a ‘c!Quackity has BPD’ dissertation so I won’t get too into that for now). To be angry and upset regarding how they didn’t leave when they could.

His last straw wasn’t even about himself and his mistreatment; was about the thing he made.

And This isn’t even factoring in the abandonment that happened later.

Long in short of it is that c!Quackity hates his past self. His advice to c!Tommy and c!Tubbo comes from a place of hating what he was and wanting to ensure these two don’t have to deal with those repercussions in the future. His advice is rooted in exactly what he’d say to his younger self: Don’t trust anyone. You only have yourself.

And that’s where c!Charlie comes in.

c!Quackity extensively spends his time with c!charlie drilling the lessons he’d give his past self into c!charlies head. He tells him to not trust people, don’t form attachments, bind your self worth to the nations and power you achieve from them, etc. But the problem is everytime c!Charlie questions them; he grows guiltier of doing it.

It starts to feel *wrong* to imply c!Charlie should be punished for his kindness, for his trust, for his heart. He feels almost guilty about it, it reads in his tone.

And that’s what makes c!Charlie different. Their friendship is not just c!Quackity giving advice he’d give his past self to c!Charlie. This is reconciliation with the past self.

c!Charlie’s whole journey with c!Quackity is not just reopening his heart to friendship or reminding him what Las Nevadas was built on (c!Qs love and care for his loved ones). It is a gateway for c!Quackity to reconcile with the past him he hates so much.

to look himself in the eyes and say “It isn’t your fault. You should’nt blame your heart and your care for others as the reason people took advantage of you. It’s not bad to trust others, it’s not bad to love, it’s not *your fault* you were taken advantage of.”

That is one of the biggest pieces of development c!Charlie brings out in him: forgiveness of the past self. And it’s reflective in their journey together.

c!Quackity wants to protect c!Charlie just as he wished someone would protect him too; without having to shun c!Charlies kindness or make him feel inferior for his trust.

But unfortunately he fails.

He fails and there is no denying it is In part his fault. Sure. He’s grown and learned to move past vengeance but you can’t op out of the cycle of revenge you started. And c!Charlie pays to prove that.

But he doesn’t let his anger fester. Or grow Bitter. And Hateful towards himself because he grew attached and someone punished him for it. He wouldn’t throw away his friendship with c!Charlie for the world. Even if it hurts now. It’s the happiest he’s ever been. So whenever c!Charlie may be, in life or in death. c!Quackity will work to placing them together in history. As a final statement to how caring about things and loving other people is always worth it. That casino is to say to the world, and maybe to the guy who hates his own heart, and who hates the love he holds for others: it really was all worthwhile to love in the first place.

You can see this reflecting into what he tells c!Tommy. His initial advice of ‘don’t trust anyone’ turns into:

“If there's one thing I found out, it’s that it doesn’t hurt to have a person who has your back. I'll be that person for you, Tommy.”

It’s good to trust. It’s good to love. Yes, be wary of who you trust and value yourself first but to love and trust others is a great thing. And I’ll be here for you if you need someone to Trust.

That’s what his past self would have wanted to hear. That’s what his past self should have heard. Someone say

“I will be here for you. I will protect you with everything I have, be it my sword or my words or the people I know.”

Just as he told c!Charlie just a bit ago.

Ah this got me a bit teary to write. c!Dapduo’s friendship really is so beautiful and important. This theme of an abuse victim reconciling with their past self and coming to learn a lesson that can heal a heart as bitter as it is full.

I like it a lot. And no matter what happens on Saturday, their friendship will always be so important to me. It makes me happy. It makes me smile. It makes me cry. And anything that can do that will always hold a special place in my heart.

No TL;DR;im not reading all that; congratulations; or I’m sorry that happened; this time. You are legally obligated to get the full c!dapduo realness. But I hope you enjoy

#c!dapduo #c!quackity #c!charlie #dream smp #dream smp meta #god this made me tear up #went loser mode here. hate when this servers good #c!calamityduo #c!slime #man I love these two so much #if you tag this as shipping get in your car tomorrow at exactly 3:44pm I have a surprise for you (there’s a pipe bomb in your engine)#they are also chuu and kimlip coded #if any of you are into Loona #like watch any chuu kimlip comp or clips and you’ll get it #anyway #i Hope lore saturday holds this up #if not I just blow my brains out #and then live in delusion. amen!#also yeah seriously don’t tag this as shipping or romantic or anything btw. thanks.

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six-of-cringe · 7 months

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A nonorientable shape is a shape that can be illustrated but cannot actually be created in real life. I have discovered a new nonorientable shape I call it "two people living in the same house and working to love each other unconditionally without it eventually falling apart"

#for gods sake do NOT reblog i'm just having a 'my parents divorced when i was an adult' moment #and also a 'suddenly friend divorced by like 3 roommates' moment #i am so afraid that no one can love unconditionally. someone will always give up!!!! they will always stop trying #also found out that actually infidelity WAS a factor in my parent's divorce. not the main reason but like. It Was There.#i should be given a license to kill #i hate being pessimistic and bitter. stop doing this to me #i am such a love prevails bitch at heart........if it's a delusion then just let me live in it!!!#not soc #delete later #but maybe not just bc the shape thing is funny #dont reblog

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