#love ur fics btw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

propertyofkylar · 3 months

Text

science lesson - m!kylar x gn!pc

you've never seen a penis in person before, and your best friend kylar helps you out with that :)

It was a normal day and you were laying on Kylar’s bed while he messed around on his computer. What he did with all those monitors, you never were sure.

You were flipping through some manga he had pulled off a shelf (you had picked one for yourself at random but when Kylar saw it, he ran and snatched it out of your hands, his face bright red, mumbling something about how this one would be better).

But the words on the pages weren’t registering because there was something else that was heavily weighing on your mind.

“Hey, Kylar?” You spoke hesitantly, but your best friend immediately spun around in his chair the moment he heard your voice. “Can I ask you something?”

Kylar swallowed audibly, but you weren’t sure why. “U-um. I mean, of course. You can always ask me anything!”

You sighed, setting the book down and sitting up. “Well…” you chewed on your bottom lip, trying to figure out how to phrase it. “You know…you know how in science class, Sirris always shows those videos and diagrams and stuff?”

Kylar looked slightly confused, but nodded nonetheless.

“It’s just that, um,” now you were the one gulping. You steeled yourself before continuing. “I dunno if I’m doing a good job in that class and I thought maybe…maybe it’s because I don’t know what it’s actually like.”

Kylar frowned a little before his eyebrows shot all the way up. “Do you mean…” he seemed at a loss for words.

Feeling your face flush, you turned away from him. “I thought maybe you could help me with some, um, practical experience.”

In response, Kylar sucked in a breath so quickly that it sent him into a coughing fit. Once it was over, his own face was bright red. He looked really nervous, but awkwardly stood up from his chair and came to sit next to you.

“You mean you want me to…” he trailed off again, seemingly unable to put his thoughts into words.

Fearing you would lose your confidence any moment, you quickly nodded.

“Can you please show me your…p-penis?” You stumbled over the words. Kylar looked like he was about to pass out and for a moment, you really thought he was going to. You placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked at you before he tugged his pants down.

The sight of the huge bulge in his underwear made you a little breathless. But you only saw it for a moment because Kylar quickly pulled his underwear off in the next instant.

You were immediately mesmerized as you watched his thick cock spring out, already hard, the tip slapping against the sweatshirt he still had on. “Wow,” you whispered without even thinking. Kylar was blushing harder than you’d ever seen, but was unable to speak. He just stared intensely at you.

Scooting even closer, you leaned in to get a good look at it. “Are they always this big?”

“U-um,” Kylar rubbed a hand across his face. “I don’t think so. I think mine is just, uh, extra big. Or at least that’s what I’ve seen in the locker room…”

“Wow,” you said again, reaching out a hand but stopping yourself. “Can I touch it?”

“Yes!” Kylar blurted out, before visibly shrinking back. “I mean, uh. Y-yeah. Only if you want to.”

Nodding, you reached your hand back out and tentatively stroked his shaft. “It’s a lot warmer than I thought. And it’s really hard.” Experimentally, you wrapped a fist around it, and Kylar yelped.

You drew back like it had burned you. “What? I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?”

“N-no!” Kylar quickly said. “I just didn’t expect that.”

The two of you looked at each other and Kylar drew in a shaky breath as he reached out to hold your hand, guiding it back to his cock. “If you go gently it, um. It feels good…” he mumbled, slowly moving your hand up and down. He shivered.

“Oh,” you said, beginning to forget why you had asked to do this and only thinking about how you wanted to feel him more and more. “Have you done this before? Like with…”

“No! No way,” Kylar said quickly. “Just myself. And,” he blushes even harder and looked away. “I’ve seen it in porn and stuff too.”

You nodded and waited for Kylar to look at you again. “Can I keep going?”

Kylar whimpered and squirmed. “Please,” he whispered.

You felt a little embarrassed especially never having done this before, but you figured it would be mean if you stopped now. And Kylar was being really kind and really brave showing you his dick, so you knew you couldn’t stop. So, you began stroking him again, without his guidance.

He let out another whine and you hesitated, but the look in his eyes made you keep going. “Oh my god,” he mumbled. Kylar looked happier than you’d ever seen him before.

You shifted positions so you could bring your head even closer to his lap, studying his cock up close. It felt warm in your hand, and you admired the veins bulging on the sides, the flushed red head and what you remembered from science class to be precum beading at the tip.

You didn’t even think twice before you leaned in and licked it off. It tasted weird, but not awful.

Kylar gasped when you did that. “W-why?”

Honestly, you didn’t even know yourself. So you just shrugged and licked it again. Kylar moaned and a hand grasped your hair. “Please don’t stop,” he whispered.

You didn’t. You even tried wrapping your mouth around the massive thing, but found you could barely get past the tip. That, plus as soon as you did, Kylar thrust into your mouth, making you gag.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry!” He said quickly. “I didn’t mean to! It wasn’t on purpose! It just…happened.”

“It’s okay,” you smiled up at him. Kylar looked like he was about to cry. You set back to stroking him and occasionally licking and sucking.

Kylar started muttering incomprehensibly. “You’re so nice. You’re the best. I love you. I love you so, so, so much.”

But you barely could hear him. You were too busy studying your newfound favorite thing. You memorized the taste of his skin, the heft of his shaft, the feeling of it pulse in your hands. It kept twitching and eventually, the twitches became more frequent.

“Oh my god,” Kylar moaned. “I…I’m gonna…c-cum.”

You watched in amazement as thick ropes of cum spurted out, landing on your hands, your face and even some in your hair. Kylar’s eyes were squeezed shut and he was panting heavily, but as soon as his eyes reopened he had a look of terror on his face. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to get it everywhere. Let me grab a tissue.”

Luckily, Kylar happened to have a box of tissues right next to his bed, sitting atop his nightstand next to a bottle of lotion and a framed photo of the two of you.

After you got cleaned up, you smiled at Kylar. “Thanks,” you said. “That was fun. And educational!”

“…yeah,” Kylar said. He looked like he wanted to say more, but hesitated. You put a hand on his still bare thigh and encouraged him. “Um. I-I think it’s not fair if I’m the only one who gets to feel good.”

You cocked your head, confused. He inhaled before continuing. “I mean, it’s only fair if I get to do the same to you now, right?”

Your throat went dry as you realized what he was asking. He frowned a little in response, his confidence growing. “You got to see me naked. So I get to see you now. Right?”

It was hard to argue with that. So you nodded, and Kylar beamed as he pushed you down onto the bed.

It was definitely a very educational experience.

#kylar def thinks ur dating after this btw #degrees of lewdity #dol #kylar the loner #dol kylar #writing #yeehaw #decided i will post now i want it to be my 4000th post #if everyone wants will write sequel maybe ? for kylar to pleasure pc #idk #here you guys go #enjoy it #read it #tell me you love me #etc #this fic is so fuckign stupid #im going to push kylar off a cliff #bestie kylar

241 notes · View notes

goosethepumpkin · 9 months

Text

Enid: BABE! have you seen my cheetos? Wednesday: ...no Thing signing: i have! Wednesday whispering: Thing, SHUT UP! or i'll have your digits removed Thing signing: but you literally have cheetos dust on your fingers Wednesday: shit, how do i remove them? Thing: wash it Enid: wash what? Wednesday awkwardly: ...hmm? nothing just some blood Enid: ok

#wednesday #enid #incorrect quotes #wenclair #wednesday incorrect quotes #based of something in paintatos fic #which was based off something on tumblr #if ur the maker plz reply #i'll credit u #love u <3 #cheetos #wednesday is guilty #thing <3 #it seems unfinished #i might add a part 2 #btw where did all my followers come from #PART 1

222 notes · View notes

cuubism · 1 year

Note

A heist for a crown for a king? 🤔👑

yes. dream deserves a crown. dream insists he doesn't need a crown, everybody knows he is king. also he has his helm. hob says how many times i gotta tell you it's not about NEEDING it. it's about how fucking sexy you'll look. that's the priority. also you deserve it. dream is still flummoxed.

may i propose a DREAM heist for a DREAM crown.

Hob was... definitely going to get in trouble for this.

"We're definitely going to get in trouble for this," said Matthew, perched on his shoulder. He tittered nervously. And Matthew was one of the most ride-or-die people-- birds?-- Hob had ever met, so this was not a good sign. "Like. Getting my wings cut off trouble."

"He's not going to cut your fucking wings off, Jesus Christ," said Hob. He crept through the dreamspace, keeping to the shadows so as to try to avoid alerting the dream itself to their presence. "Drawing and quartering is a lot more entertaining."

"HOB. What the fuck." Matthew's claws dug into his skin like he really did mean to separate Hob's arm from his shoulder.

Hob shrugged. "Didn't live through 'ye olde medieval times,' as you put it, for nothing."

"I didn't call it that."

"Yeah, you did. That's what I get for agreeing to watch A Knight's Tale, I suppose."

Matthew squawked. "It's a good movie!"

"It was a good movie right up until it managed to convince you that "We Will Rock You" was actually sung at jousts," said Hob.

"In my defense--" started Matthew, then clacked his beak shut. "Nah, actually, I don't have a defense for that. I must have been totally sloshed."

Hob snorted. "Oh, you were."

"Well, who decided it was a good idea to feed Bailey's to a raven?"

"There was no point at which I thought it was a good decision," said Hob. He couldn't help his grin. "I just don't mind making a bad one."

"And here I thought we were friends."

Hob slipped through a doorway, ducking around the next corner. The dream castle was significantly more winding than a real one. It was slow going.

He started humming to himself, an incongruously jaunty old execution ballad. "His quarters stand not all together, But ye mai hap to ring them thether..."

"I'm begging you to stop," said Matthew. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a serious problem?"

Hob laughed. "Many times."

A small group of people -- figments of the dreamscape -- strode around the corner. Hob ducked into a tiny alcove, one which hadn't been there before he'd thought of needing it. He was gradually getting better at manipulating the Dreaming.

And his heart was hammering. Dream theft or not, it was thrilling.

"Never thought I'd be part of fucking Inception," grumbled Matthew, peering to see if it was all clear.

Hob crept back out into the hall and up a spiral staircase. "This is way more fun than Inception."

"And way more dangerous."

"You loved the last outing!"

"Yeah, that one didn't involve sneaking around in my boss's subconscious."

Hob rolled his eyes. "It's not Dream's subconscious." Finally at the center of the absolute maze that was the castle, he spied his prize, and slipped right through the bulletproof glass to get at it. On a stand at the center of the room sat the most gorgeous tiara, a winding thing of diamond leaves and ruby berries. He grinned. "It's the Princess's."

He swiped the thing from its stand, leaving a weight in its place for the pressured alarm he was sure still existed even in a dream.

"Dream is the Dreaming, dude. We're gonna get caught."

"Well, that's why you're here, isn't it? It's normal for you to be in dreams, it's not for me. You're my cover. You'll make it way less likely for Dream to--"

And they were yanked from the dream.

"Drawn and quartered!" Matthew squeaked, and then they were standing in the throne room.

Dream was, of course, standing a few steps up on the grand staircase, glaring at them. Glaring at Hob, really. Matthew squawked again in fright, puffing up his feathers. Hob just grinned back at Dream.

"When I gave you free run of the Dreaming," Dream started, some of the menace Hob had heard him use with rogue nightmares on display, "this was not what I meant."

Hob wasn't afraid of Dream, though. Never had been. "Don't take it out on Matthew," he said. "Wasn't his idea."

Dream's stormy gaze flickered over to Matthew. "Matthew, you are dismissed. I will deal with you later."

Matthew didn't need to be told twice. He winged away out of the throne room, calling back, "Good luck with getting drawn and quartered, Hob!"

Dream raised an eyebrow. He still looked dreadfully unamused. "Drawn and quartered?"

"We've watched too many medieval movies," Hob explained.

"Ah." His gaze found the tiara clasped in Hob's hand. "What, exactly, is that?"

He obviously knew. It was made of dream stuff, after all. Still, Hob knelt and held it out to him. "For my liege."

Dream strode down the few steps separating them, fluid as water streaming over a fall, his long cloak trailing behind him. Majestic creature. Majestic king. Did he really expect Hob to be at all normal about it?

Dream plucked the tiara from Hob's hands. He tilted it back and forth. The light through the stained glass illuminated it in every color imaginable and cast refracted rainbows on his face. "You stole it from a dream."

Hob flashed him a crooked grin. "Guilty."

Dream tipped his head up with one fingertip under his chin, until Hob's neck was craned back and he was meeting his gaze. "That," he drawled, his eyes flashing dark, "is very disrespectful."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes." Dream didn't release Hob's chin; if anything, he leaned closer so Hob had to look up even further. "Did you think you would not be caught? Creeping around in my halls?"

"We'll, I'm very good," Hob said. This was hardly the first thing he'd stolen for Dream, though it was the first one he'd attempted in the Dreaming.

"Or perhaps," continued Dream, and the darkness in his eyes looked hungry, now, though no less dangerous. "Perhaps, you wanted to be caught."

Hob winked at him, cheeks heating. "Well. I may be good, but I could hardly expect you not to feel it when it's your skirts I was rustling under."

"Is that what you were doing?" Dream swept his thumb along Hob's lip, dipping into his mouth. "Fiending for punishment?"

"Just trying to please my lord. Are you pleased, my love?"

"That is not quite the word I would use, dearest one." A sharp smile was creeping its way onto his lips, eyes burning with a dark warmth, like smoldering coals.

He placed the tiara on Hob's head.

Shadows dripped from it, falling over Hob's shoulders and back. Dream's hands lingered at Hob's temples, stroking his hair back behind his ears.

"Devoted one." His voice rumbled pleasantly through Hob's body, and Hob shivered. "Mischievous one. What am I to do with you?"

"Only whatever you want," said Hob, leaning into his touch. "As usual."

"Hmm. I think..."

Shadows fell around the throne room, dropped from the ceiling like banners and speckled like blackened stars. Hob knew those shadows, knew the way they were meant to intimidate though they did nothing but make him want more, make him hungrier, make him want to hold Dream close in every meaning of the word.

And he knew that bright darkness in his lover's eyes, too. The sky during an eclipse.

Dream drew him back to his feet. Hob stumbled in so they were a breath apart.

"Whatever prize you were seeking when you embarked on this foolhardy task?" Dream hummed, just before pulling Hob in to meet his lips. "I think you should claim it."

#this got slightly kinkier than intended #that seems to happen a lot with these two #actually not even slightly. it's a LOT kinkier than intended #bandit hob / lord dream dynamic #which i am increasingly weak for #tfw ur lover is super dangerous actually but u love it #monsterfucker hob #the execution ballad hob's singing is a real thing btw XD #dreamling #dreamling fic #ask #magnusbae #hob gadling #dream of the endless #my writing #alcohol cw

700 notes · View notes

quirkle2 · 1 year

Text

Warriors smiles. It's bright and wide and warm, relieved and watery and wobbly, and he feels like his body has just been recreated. The mourning over losing his only family to portals and fate ebbs from his chest, escapes through the laugh he lets out, incredulous and elated, maybe slightly hysterical, but Legend lets one out that sounds much the same, so he feels a bit more justified in it.

Instantly, the present burn in his chest snuffs out, smoke in his lungs and soot on his bones, and the hello, good morning, I love you, wants to pour out of him like water to a rickety dam.

piece to accompany a wip fic of mine, cinnamon

400 notes · View notes

crimson-nail · 7 months

Text

“You will deal with this?” asks Knives, the gravity of a hundred years of failing to rely on another weighing on his voice.

“—Yes. Trust us,” Livio and Razlo reply. There’s fire in those eyes, rising to meet Knives’ intensity without an ounce of hesitation left in that molten gold — like he has waited his entire life to be asked such a question, and to be free to give such an answer to someone. “We’ll clean up these two and get the plant back to the Andron facility. She’ll be fine. We’ll take care of her.”

“...Alright.”

He smiles. It’s returned in kind, toothy and lopsided and less than an inch from his face.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me,” says Nai, allowing a serene expression to overtake his features, “I’m going to pass out now.”

finally finished up a sketch page from the monster of a fic i’ve been working on since april… i am out here being delusional ❤️

#charlie’s art #trigun maximum #spoilers technically as well since it’s a post-trimax fix it fic #sometimes therapy is running around the desert with a guy u turned into a super soldier for the holy crucade #it ain’t conventional but it sure is funny #the slowburn is catastrophically slow btw. if ur into that #it’s not even really a / fic it’s a ‘learning how to be a human being’ fic #i like the dynamic a lot. neither of them know how to exist without purpose #knivio #razknives as well #more guys in one kinda deal #fic is a little more than halfway thru and i try to update once a month #<- she is writers blocked that’s why she’s drawing #anyways. i love lr a normal amount #giving knives long curly black hair is one of the simplest small joys in life #i need to make them look like beautiful butch lesbians

83 notes · View notes

redriotinggg · 6 months

Text

When Sanji is bitten by a spider that has eaten the Cupid-Cupid Fruit, the Straw Hats learn there is only one way to cure his illness.

A genuine love confession.

There’s only one crewmate capable of the job.

(read on ao3!!)

—

The Straw Hats have stopped at a small summer island to gather supplies, stock up on necessities, and do any repairs to the Sunny.

When the bulk of the hard work has been done, their captain insists on a bonfire, having found a perfect clearing in the forest.

Sanji’s by the grill, cooking up plenty of burgers, hotdogs, kebabs, and other barbecued treats to fill his crew’s voracious appetites.

He happily watches his crew enjoy their afternoon—Brook’s violin emitting a joyful tune, Nami and Robin engaged in an intense game of cards, Franky enthusiastically sketching something onto a large page, Zoro fast asleep on the grass, and Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp running around as they play their own variation of tag.

Perhaps Sanji’s gaze is drawn to one of his crewmates in particular, following the flow of his curly hair, smiling at the sound of his laughter.

Perhaps. Sanji won’t tell.

“Woah! Look at that!”

The rowdy trio’s game of tag comes to a halt at Chopper’s cry. Luffy and Usopp look to where the reindeer is pointing, their eyes lighting up when they spot the thing that caught his attention.

“Cool!” Luffy begins to race over, but he’s stopped by Usopp.

“Wait! Don’t run, you’ll scare it!”

The trio carefully make their way over to a nearby tree, their attention grabbed by a fairly large spider.

Sanji shudders when he sees the creature. He looks away, focusing on the food. He is not interested in the further details of their exploration.

Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp fawn over the spider, speculating on its species and origins.

“It’s markings kinda look like hearts,” Usopp observes. “They’re even a pinkish-red colour.”

“Aw, so cute!” Chopper squeals.

“I’m gonna name it Cupid!” Luffy declares. “That guy’s in charge of hearts ‘n stuff, right? This lil' girl could be his pet or something,” he laughs.

A bit later, Sanji calls out to them. “Oi, get your asses over here, the food’s ready! And wash your hands if you’ve been touching bugs!”

Saying their goodbyes to Cupid, the boys rush over to claim their dinner.

The crew happily enjoys their meal, thanking Sanji with wide grins that only get wider when he presents them with dessert.

As the evening turns to night, the crew wind down, packing away their belongings and making their way back to the Sunny.

“Are you sure we can’t stay and camp?” Luffy whines. “It’s like, the perfect night for it! We've got the perfect spot!”

“No,” Nami denies flatly. “We didn’t bring the stuff for it and it’s already getting late. Plus, I want to sleep in my own bed. Now hurry up and get going! Franky! Turn on your flashlights, I can’t see!”

“One set of nipple lights, comin’ up! Ow!”

Usopp and Sanji take up the rear, picking up the last of Sanji’s portable kitchen gear. The chef is happily listening to the sniper’s latest tale when he feels a pinch on his ankle.

“Ow! What the hell?”

“Sanji! Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I think something just bit me.”

Usopp looks in the grass, trying to find the culprit. When he does, he gasps. “It’s the spider from before! Cupid, why’d you go and bite Sanji? That’s not nice!”

“‘Cause it’s a good for nothing insect,” Sanji grumbles.

“Actually, it’s an arachnid—”

“You better not have poisoned me, you stupid bug,” Sanji yells at the spider, which scurries away.

“It’d be venom, not poison.”

“You are not helping!” Sanji snaps. “What is this, a Robin impression? Stop with the unnecessary bug facts, this shit hurts!”

“Does it really? You should get Chopper to look at it as soon as we get back to the ship. Here, gimme your stuff, I’ll carry if for you.”

“I can carry it myself, asshole. I’m not that weak.”

“Really? ‘Cause if you’re in pain, the Great Usopp would be more than happy to carry you back to the Sunny.” Usopp smirks and flexes his muscular arms, sending Sanji a wink.

Sanji pretends like his heart isn’t trying to escape his chest and throw itself at Usopp’s feet.

Internally, Sanji is a mess. Externally, he rolls his eyes and hefts his baggage further in his arms.

“You do two push-ups and think you’re a strong guy now, huh? C’mon, let’s go before any other bugs try to make a meal outta me.”

When they make it back to the Sunny, all of their things put away, Usopp continues to hover by Sanji, his concern rising with each passing moment.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Usopp asks. “You’re all red. You shouldn’t be sweating this much.”

“‘M fine,” Sanji mumbles. The way he sways on the spot doesn’t do much to help his case.

Usopp holds him steady, in full crisis mode as he watches the usually stable chef falter. He hoists Sanji in his arms, dashing to the infirmary. “CHOPPER!”

“What happened?” the doctor asks. Usopp puts Sanji on the bed and recounts the tale.

By now, the rest of the crew has come to investigate the cause of the commotion. They all stand in the doorway, shocked to see their crewmate suddenly so ill.

“It’s only been like 20 minutes! Why does he look bad already? Sanji, don’t die!”

Usopp’s dramatic cry unfortunately has some merit. Sanji doesn’t look well. He is the complete opposite of the perfect picture of health he was less than an hour ago. In just a few minutes, Sanji seems to have lost all of his energy. He’s flushed and sweating, breathing heavily and brows furrowed as he fights some type of pain. Even his usually shiny hair is limp and brittle-looking.

Usopp’s heart positively breaks at the sight.

“I can’t make him a proper anti-venom without knowing exactly what type of spider that was,” Chopper states. He clicks his tongue as he looks at the inflamed, red bite mark on Sanji’s ankle.

“Brook, you help me get Sanji out of this suit. Everyone else, get out so I can treat him. Now!”

The rest of the crew gather on the deck, concern on all of their faces.

“Usopp,” Robin says, pulling the sniper from his worsening spiral of anxiety. “You said Sanji was bit by the same spider that you saw in the forest, right? Draw me a picture. We can use it to get information from the locals.”

Usopp nods. He runs off to the galley and grabs a sketchpad nestled between Sanji’s collection of recipes and cookbooks. Before long, he’s got multiple drawings of the spider, complete with colours and accurate depictions of its heart-shaped markings.

Franky and Nami go to the hospital to ask about an anti-venom while Luffy, Zoro, and Robin go ask around town.

On the Sunny, Usopp paces back and forth, biting his nails and their beds away to nothing as worry engulfs him. He peeks into the infirmary, heart breaking a little more every time he catches a glimpse of Sanji’s pained face.

“Sanji will be alright,” Brook assures him when he exits the room. “He’s stable for now. Our cook is strong. He’s got the best doctor caring for him and crewmates desperately seeking out information. He’ll pull through.”

Usopp tries his very best to believe him.

The rest of the crew returns to the Sunny in less than an hour. Everyone, except Sanji, who’s resting in the infirmary, gathers at the kitchen table.

“Turns out that our little spider has eaten a Devil Fruit,” Robin tells them. “Everyone in the area is familiar with the spider that has eaten the Cupid-Cupid fruit.”

“Wait, the spider is actually related to Cupid? That’s hilarious! I’m like a fortune teller! Hahahaha! Ow!” Luffy rubs his sore head, pouting at Nami.

“A bite from the Cupid Spider can do multiple things, depending on who is bitten," Robin continues. "However, it only causes illness in someone who has a requited love but has not actually expressed their love. To save Sanji, whoever is in love with him must tell him the breadth of their true feelings, lest he remain bedridden forever. Or worse.”

The crew sits in silence for a moment, reflecting on the information.

“Alright, who’s in love with Sanji?” Luffy demands.

All eyes go to Usopp.

He is so red in the face Chopper is concerned he'll pass out. His eyes are so wide Zoro wonders if they'll pop out of his head.

"What are you waiting for?" Nami cries. "Get in there and confess your love so Sanji gets better!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I'm not—"

"Oh, please, this is not the time for your anxious, denial bullshit! Go fix Sanji!"

"Can't we just kill the spider instead?" he suggests meekly.

Luffy and Chopper gasp in betrayal.

"That would be a bad idea," Robin warns. "That spider is very well-respected on this island. Causing it harm would no doubt incur the wrath of all the locals. There is nothing you can do but speak from the heart."

"You got this, Usopp-bro! Just tell Sanji how you feel! It'll turn out super!"

On stiff legs and with wobbly knees, Usopp leaves the galley and makes his way back to the infirmary, deaf to the sounds of his crew's encouragements.

Despite his desperate pleas to the universe, Sanji is awake when Usopp steps inside. He looks even worse than before. His skin is pale, covered in a sheen of sweat. His eyes are lidded and he's got bags under them like he hasn't slept in days. But even still, a smile lights up his face when he sees the sniper.

"Usopp," he says, voice quiet and raspier than usual. His smile is no less bright.

"Sanji," Usopp returns, taking a seat next to the bed. "I've got news. So, turns out that the spider that bit you has a Devil Fruit power."

Sanji scoffs. "Of course it does. Just my fucking luck. So, what? It ate the Sick-Sick fruit and now I'll feel like shit forever?"

Usopp chuckles drily. "No, nothing like that. We can actually help you pretty easily. Or, I can, anyway. I just... I have to... to..."

The sniper closes his eyes as a fresh wave of anxiety washes over him. He can't do this! It's too scary! But he has to.

How many times has he been in this position? Forced to watch someone he loves suffer from an illness, unable to do anything but try and distract them from their pain.

This time is different. Usopp can stop this. He can stop Sanji's suffering. All he has to do is be honest.

Well, best to rip off the band-aid.

Taking a deep breath, Usopp grabs Sanji's clammy hand in both of his. "I love you!"

"I-I've loved you for a long time, Sanji," Usopp admits, and the words start flowing, unable to stop. "I don't know when exactly it started, but I know that I do because I think you're so amazing! You're so cool, and strong, and talented. I love that you act all grumpy but you're actually extremely kind and considerate. I love spending time with you! I love it when you tell me stories about Zeff and the Baratie. I love that you always ask me questions when I'm telling you about something because you make me feel heard. I love that you always wrap your arms around me when we party. I love it when you smile at me and dance with me.

"I love how you look in the early morning and when the sun is setting. Well, I love how you look all the time because you're so gorgeous it isn't fair! All handsome and pretty at the same time. You dress nice, and you smell nice, and you make me food and protect me—! Sanji, I love you!

"I'm sorry it took a stupid spider to force me to say it but I lov-"

Usopp's speech is cut off as desperate lips meet his own. He melts into Sanji's embrace, returning the kiss with all he's got. His heart is beating so fast he thinks it might pop right out of his chest, but nothing could possibly take him away from this moment.

When they pull apart, foreheads resting against one another, Usopp is taken aback by Sanji's appearance. He looks as healthy as ever, save for his very intense blush. But his eyes are shining and his smile is hopeful and adoring.

"Do you mean it, Usopp? Do you really feel that way about me?"

"I do. A-And you? D-do you feel...?"

"The same," Sanji promises. "Everything that you said, I feel the same way. Usopp, I love you! I—did you really just cure me with a love confession?"

Usopp blinks, and then he bursts out into laughter. Sanji joins him, the two holding one another as they laugh at the absurdity of the situation, their hearts full to bursting.

"Anything is possible on the Grand Line," Usopp reminds him. "Especially for the number one lover on the seas, the great Captain Usopp!"

"Number one lover, huh? I don't know if I believe that." Sanji pulls Usopp in close, whispering into his ear. "I think you'll have to show me."

"T-that can be arranged."

Usopp leans in and Sanji goes to meet him, lips pressing together again, and again, and again.