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m1d-45 · 1 year

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your shield, a sword

summary: how various genshin men deal with conflict or confrontation when you’re involved. ft. wanderer, thoma, tighnari, zhongli, alhaitham, cyno and albedo, in that order.

word count: ~2k

-> warnings: major spoilers for sumeru archon quest (specifically 2nd part w the wanderer) and liyue archon quest, minor spoilers for tighnari + albedo + alhaitham + kaveh lore

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me

< masterlist >

wanderer rarely lets any remark slip by him. after his memories were restored, he’s not identical to who he was before, but being who he was carries a heavy temper with it. he’s getting better at it, but he can still often be found locked in a heated discussion with one scholar or another. it’s rare he gives them his time, but when they so blindly get a detail of history wrong, something easily researched had they bothered to open the book, he’s not going to let that slide. misinformation is a problem in the akademiya already, no need to perpetuate it.

you don’t have the heart to tell him that most scholars aren’t like him, and don’t research every facet of their argument before making a point with it. not everyone is that rigorous in their study, which is why his papers stand out so much.

physical encounters are the same from the outside, but starkly different if you looked closer. he’s still antagonistic, still drawing their attention to him, standing in front of you and fighting the urge to look back. the fatui were a cruel organization, and while he was used to people picking on him, were you? he was a lot, would you be okay with it? his attitude was a shield that covered his fear, and fights—as rare as they were—only exacerbated these anxieties. would you leave him? you didn’t call him out on his behavior as often, was that because he was getting better or because you were getting tired? he doesn’t know, and is honestly afraid to ask. it’s easier to pretend to be confident than actually try to be; this outlook got him this far, and it’ll get him further. he’s certain it will…

thoma, as a mondstat native first and inazuman ‘fixer’ second, has had more than his fair share of conflicts. people that disrespect him or another, those that believe he doesn’t belong or that he’s being unfair, the staff of the other commissions that believed ayato was unfair for employing him as his retainer… the list could stretch from ritou to liyue and back with slack to spare. as such, he’s learned a lot about how to deescalate while still holding firm, and is more than willing to extend this to you. whether because you’re not one for confrontation or because it’s a matter of politics and he doesn’t want your words to get twisted by whoever’s listening, he’s not afraid to step in.

he’s also well trained with his polearm. not many dare to attack one so close to the yashiro commissioner, but the few treasure hoarders that do are met with the point of his blade and a sharp warning. he doesn’t like fighting, not only because of the incident report that always needs to be submitted afterward and the anxiety that someone might take the opportunity to paint him in a bad light, but because he runs the risk of injury. nobody he cares about likes to see him hurt, and he hates to worry them. sometimes it’s necessary, and he won’t apologize for getting involved, but he will say sorry for worrying you. trust him, he’s a capable man, and if it really bothers you then he’ll take you to feed the strays around the city. that’s always a nice way for him to destress, and he’s certain you’ll enjoy it too.

tighnari is a man who stands for his morals and integrity. hell, he got his vision by correcting someone during an academic debate, and denies his master at the academiya on a regular basis in favor of reforming the entirety of the forest rangers. he’s taunted fatui into a fight and his tongue is sharper than his arrows. karkata is proof of his entire character, and he’s very obviously willing to put word and bow to use in defending his principles and what he loves.

would he rather know you’re safe in gandharva ville? obviously, but another scholar bothering him for help he won’t be thanked for isn’t something he can nor should protect you for. you’re your own person, and if you don’t want to see him dismantle their argument point by point, that’s your prerogative. you know the way home and so does he, and if a half hour or so of his time is the price for a handful of months of quiet, well, who’s he to deny it?

he’s stopped investing emotionally into these arguments a long time ago, and it’s only when they dare to bring you into it that he does get a bit heated. still, within the hour he’s successfully compartmentalized that person’s opinion away, and doesn’t let it affect him. he won’t hold it against you if you’re upset, never—emotions are healthy and if anything he’s happy you trust him enough to tell him—but he will list out every single reason why actually, their opinion doesn’t matter, and your time is better spent elsewhere; like with him, for example.

zhongli is well versed in battle, more than capable of defending both you and himself with nothing but his spear. his power has lessened since he’d given up his gnosis, but celestia could not help the mitachurls on the wrong end of planet befall. his shield is nothing to scoff at, and the abundance of geo in liyue makes it impossible for him to ever feel threatened.

but just because he can doesn’t mean he wants to. he could take down a platoon of fatui on his own, but if you’re with him then he wouldn’t even consider it. a single stele rises from the earth, a jade shield forming around you as he pulls you into his arms, letting the resonance from the stele disorient the fatui. he may not be a marathon runner, but he’s still a god that knows liyue like the back of his hand. he knows you’re not hurt physically, and when he finds a good tree to sit under with you the first thing he does is make sure you’re not scared anymore. he’s here, he promises, you’re going to be okay. the wind is cool and his arms are secure, and when it’s over he’ll give you a silk flower for your bravery.

alhaitham doesn’t have time for racket like this. no, seriously, he has a date to go on and this is more of a minor inconvenience than anything. he puts an arm around your waist and keeps you tight to him, but that’s the only sign he’s feeling anything other than annoyance. it doesn’t matter how upset he may be internally, how much of his mind is allocated to how quickly he could get you back to his house, his face is a mask that his opponents can’t break.

you can, though. as he rushes you away down the twisting alleys of sumeru city, you can feel the urgency with which he walks, the slightest of frowns on his face. when he returns to his home, he sequesters you away in his room, somewhere he knows is safe. he keeps you close, frets, part of him upset over the ruined outing but mostly concerned for you.

he knows he’s got a thicker skin than most, so he tends to overreact slightly with you, unknowing of how much one thing affects you. people are different, yes, but he’s used to kaveh, so it’ll take him a good ten to twenty minutes to believe that you’re actually fine and not just saying so so he’d stop fussing.

he’s still going to make you the dinner you missed out on, but it’s just because he’s hungry too, okay? yeah it’s your favorite but that doesn’t mean anything, it’s just growing on him. sit down before kaveh hears you and starts to tease him.

cyno has plenty of experience in dealing with people that dislike him. criminals attacking him after he’d taken their leader in for custody, family of others that believed he’d unjustly arrested them. for the most part, it’s an easy enough problem to deal with once the revenge has been launched. it’s just another mission for him to take care of, a routine side effect of his job. he arrests someone, people get mad, they attack, he arrests a few more. he’s more than used to fighting his way out of situations, and is skilled at doing so.

but with you?

he refuses to involve you with his work. doesn’t matter if you’ve trained for years, you could be a matra yourself and he’d still be adamant that you stay away from his work. he makes dangerous people mad, and the last thing he wants is for you to get tied into his business.

if, archons forbid, you’re with him when one of these groups retaliates, he reaches for you before his weapon. he’s not going to fight, not when you could get hurt. maybe you could stand your own, maybe he’d be able to take on some of these eremites too, but that’s the last thing on his mind. he takes your hand in his and flees, stopping only once he runs into another matra to report the attack before continuing to either your home or his office, whichever is closer.

you’re more important to him than any capture, and even the smallest of nicks on you still makes him feel guilty. lie with him for a while, move his headpiece to a side table and let him put his ear to your heart. he’s afraid for you, you know, and surely you can’t hold such a thing against him?

albedo isn’t one for confrontation. any talk that escalates into shouting is one that he dislikes, both because of the spectacle and principle of it. a discussion should be civil, with all parties level headed and self aware enough to both concede when another is right and accept when they are wrong. he understands the latter can be difficult, and sometimes struggles with admitting fault himself, but to shout? to yell? to win not with logic or speech but with force and intimidation? that is a battle not worth fighting.

physical altercations aren’t his forte either. he’s an alchemist for archons’ sake, not a swordsman. his blade is more of a necessity, something to get him out of tough spots and little more. he’s an artist, a scientist, and the day you see him willingly start in a fight, verbal or physical, is the day you know you have the wrong albedo.

he’s not the most talented with emotions, but he has the best memory in mondstat. he knows what you like, when to talk or stay silent, when you need touch and want to be alone, not based off some intuition but off a careful deduction from your behavior. it gets to him, sometimes, that he needs a formula to fix your distress, but he’s easily soothed. he trusts you, so when you give him a kiss on his temple with a murmured thanks, he believes that you don’t mind.

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linkemon · 2 months

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Logos, ethos and pathos (Kaveh x Reader x Alhaitham)

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ʟᴏɢᴏs, ᴇᴛʜᴏs ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏs ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʀʜᴇᴛᴏʀɪᴄᴀʟ ᴛʀɪᴀɴɢʟᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪʟʟᴜsᴛʀᴀᴛᴇs ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀɪsᴛɪᴄs ᴏғ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ sᴘᴇᴀᴋᴇʀ. ᴀʟʜᴀɪᴛʜᴀᴍ ᴡᴀs ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴇxᴘʀᴇssɪɴɢ ʜɪs ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢs. ʜᴇ ᴅɪᴅɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜɪs ᴋɴᴏᴡʟᴇᴅɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴇʟᴘ ʜɪᴍ ɪɴ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴀʏ. ᴀɴᴅ, ᴀʟᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ʜᴀʀᴅ ғᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛ ɪᴛ ɪɴ ʜɪɴᴅsɪɢʜᴛ, ᴋᴀᴠᴇʜ ᴡᴀs ᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴛᴇʟʏ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ɪᴛ…

ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ:

ᴏɴᴇsʜᴏᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴋᴀᴠᴇʜ ʜᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴇᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇɴsʜɪɴ ᴀs ᴀ ᴘʟᴀʏᴀʙʟᴇ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ. ɪ ʀᴇʟɪᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʟsᴏ ᴏɴ ʟᴇᴀᴋs. ʜɪs ᴠᴇʀsɪᴏɴ ᴍᴀʏ ʙᴇ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀs ʀᴇʟᴇᴀsᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴀᴍᴇ.

ғʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴇɴɢʟɪsʜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs. ɪ ᴛʀʏ ᴍʏ ʙᴇsᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴀɴʏ ᴛɪᴘs ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅ.

Alhaitham read the same paragraph again. He didn't know why he needed a rhetorical triangle. Logos, ethos and pathos. Logos, ethos and pathos. Logos, ethos and pathos… He shook his head. His eyes scanned the text over and over, trying to make sense of it. What did he really need the ability to speak for? After all, he rarely spoke. It was tiring. And when he did say something, he was usually not understood anyway. Was it too late to fix it?

The man's attention was also constantly distracted by [Reader]. Underneath her bangs, he saw her smiling happily as she sipped her morning coffee. She fit the picture. Togehter with the chair placed in front of the house, the singing birds and the rays of sun illuminating her silhouette. The ring on her finger announced to everyone that she was in a relationship. Such view made him feel nostalgic.

***

Alhaitham looked around. The sun was slowly setting over the horizon. From one of the highest points, under the shade of Great Tree, he could watch people finishing their day's work. Many people in Sumeru were rushing out of the bazaar to rejoin with their families. Where he sat, padisarahs grew thickly. Enough to hide him from the prying eyes of others, along with the slightly swaying grass. And he had had enough of these looks. Especially after his parents left, becoming the subject of gossip and leaving him with unwanted feeling of pity from strangers.

The boy pricked up his ears for a few seconds. In the distance, however, he could only hear the clattering and singing of several small birds held by a neighbour belonging to Amurta. The Dusk Birds didn't seem happy about living in cages, pecking furiously at the metal bars.

It seemed that no one would come to his quiet corner today after all. Not that he was waiting for it. No way...

Alhaitham stroked the cover of the book in his hands. Gold letters embossed in a floral pattern immediately told him what he would be dealing with. He didn't even need to use Akasha to know that this was going to be the clichiest romance novel you could find in the library. Besides, even if he hadn't guessed, [Reader] would have told him about it a few seconds later. In a very loud and very annoying way, while forcing him to read another book when he left, like every week. So far she came every day. But now she hasn't appeared for a long time.

And good. He finally had the peace he had wanted from the very beginning...

But did he really like it?

When he told his grandmother about [Reader], she was happy. Even though she put knowledge on a pedestal and disregarded many other aspects of life, she still worried that her grandson lacked friends. After she took him away from the Academy when he announced that he was bored there all day, she was concerned about his lack of contact with his peers. She made several attempts to force him to integrate but most were unsuccessful. The children of neighbours and even friends from Kshahrewar, whom she invited, most often felt intimidated by young Alhaitham's knowledge or bored with his reluctance to participate in popular games. That's why she was very interested in the girl with whom he exchanged more than a few words. She really wanted to meet her but the boy refused to do so digging in his heels. All she could do was ask him to give her the baked goods, which she hoped would help make him a new friend. Which she wasn't wrong about because [Reader] stuffed almost everything ifrom the basket into herself, scattering crumbs around and repeating that Alhaitham's grandmother was a great cook.

At first, the boy told himself that he tolerated [Reader's] presence because he didn't want to disappoint his grandmother. However, when she stopped peeking into his corner, he began to impatiently await her presence.

— You're not coming today either, aren't you? — Alhaitham turned to his recently started reading of the translation of ancient manuscripts. For some reason it didn't seem particularly engaging today.

— Are you waiting for someone? — A familiar voice said a few steps away from him. There was an offensive note in it. No doubt in response to his thought aloud.

Alhaitham didn't take his eyes off the symbols on the page but he felt a kind of relief.

— Certainly not on you.

— Hmmm... If it's not on me, I guess I'll leave — saying this, she turned around.

The boy knew it was just a game. He was aware of her looking out of the corner of her eye, waiting for his reaction. That's why he didn't speak, still reading.

— I was joking! — [Reader] crossed her legs and sat down right in front of him.

She looked none too pleased that he hadn't fallen for it but her thoughts quickly vanished when she saw the cover of the book she had lent him sticking out of her bag.

— How did you like it? — She brought out the romance.

She lay down unceremoniously on the grass, holding it over her face and turning random pages.

— Why do you assume I like it? — Alhaitham still didn't take his eyes off the runes. — It was quite the opposite.

The book fell onto [Reader's] face with a dramatic splat. There was no indication that she was going to pick it up.

— Oh, come on! I can't believe you weren't hooked. There's literally everything here! Fantastic plot, great characters and emotions! — Came an emotional voice from behind the cover.

— I don't like fantasy or romance. Moreover, the plot had at least a dozen holes and the characters made a lot of illogical decisions. None of their feelings matched mine — said Alhaitham.

That's how it was. He assumed that was probably not what the girl wanted to hear but telling the truth seemed like the right thing to do.

— It wasn't THAT bad! — [Reader] suddenly stood upright. — People do different things and behave different when they are in love. Maybe you didn't like it because you haven't experienced a real romance yet? — she suggested.

— I don't think that will ever happen — said the boy.

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the sounds of birds tapping on a nearby cage. The girl was eating another round of baked goods, wiping the jam from the zaytun peaches with her sleeve. Alhaitham gave her a quick glance every now and then. She looked like she was deep in thought about something.

— You really didn't like anything about it? — she asked again after a long pause.

He shook his head, reaching for one of the last rolls. He wasn't in the habit of lying but the look on [Reader's] face in the setting sun for some reason let him know he'd messed up. Her eyes lacked the previous enthusiasm. Usually the same thing happened to other people who tried to befriend him but it didn't bother him that much at the time.

— I really liked it. — The girl clutched the book to her chest. — I thought you'd find something you liked and we could talk about it — she admitted, disappointed.

Alhaitham wanted to add that they could talk about it even if the book didn't make a good impression on him. However, [Reader] changed the topic of conversation before he could put into words what he wanted to say. The conversation had taken a different turn and he no longer felt it appropriate to return to it.

***

This wasn't the first time [Reader] had looked into Alhaitham's house. However, she had to admit that this time she felt like a thief. The host was not inside. She knocked tactfully but was aware that the only person who could answer was currently far away.

Despite the sun shining overhead, the rain was pouring down mercilessly. The drops were getting thicker by the second. Everyone ran away from the street as fast as they could. Women tried to cover themselves with muslin scarves but it didn't help much. [Reader] got wetter and wetter, desperately searching for a spare key hidden in one of the flowerpots. At first she was amazed how someone with such a brilliant mind as her friend could calmly hide it there on a regular basis. As he himself said: "The darkest place is under the candle." And with this slogan on his lips, full of peace, he hid it where he always did.

A pleasant warmth spread over the woman's body as she crossed the threshold of the house. Her wet hair, no longer ruffled by the gusty wind, fell on her forehead.

— Stop!

[Reader] braked mid-step, brushing away the strands blocking her vision. Her eyes saw a blond man with a blue feather braided in his hair. From a distance, he reminded her of a bird. Whenever he moved, the materials surrounding his body danced. She could say the same about the jewelry decorating him. There was a frying pan in his hand. She didn't know if he was preparing dinner or if he had pulled it out especially to welcome the intruder.

— Who are you? — the young man asked, pointing the frying pan at her accusingly.

— I could ask you the same thing — [Reader] said, crossing her arms over her chest. — You must be Kaveh — she added after a moment.

Judging by the fact that there were still streaks of coal on his cheek and that he had a pencil tucked behind his ear, it was easy to guess.

The blonde followed the girl, clearly wanting to protest as she made herself comfortable in the living room.

— For the love of Seven! Alhaitham will kill me — he muttered dissatisfied.

— You'll be fine. I'm [Reader], Alhaitham's friend. I think Alhaitham would rather kill you for telling me to get out. — Saying this, she made herself comfortable on the green pillows.

— Did he mention me to you?

She nodded.

— Only the worst things. — She laughed heartily.

Her friend didn't tend to colour unless it was necessary. From the very beginning, however, she felt that the stories told about the eccentric architect were suspiciously negative. Alhaitham really didn't like him and it showed.

— Then you're telling the truth — Kaveh said, setting the pan aside.

He disappeared deeper into the apartment for a moment and returned with a towel and a cup of coffee. Maybe it wasn't a mixture like from Puspa Café but the smell spread throughout the entire room.

— Thanks. — [Reader] gratefully accepted the hot brew.

Kaveh stared at her intensely.

— I will not disturb you. I'll run away as soon as it clears up — she promised, seeing him looking at her.

— Ah... Stay as long as you want. That's not what I meant — he added when he realized that the girl had noticed that he was watching her.

— So what's it about?

— Be my muse!

[Reader] almost spit out her coffee.

— Excu... excuse me? — she asked, trying to clear her throat.

— I'm working on a new sculpture and I need some inspiration — Kaveh explained, digging through a drawer and taking out some paper. — Unless... as Alhaitham's friend, you have art sticked up your...

Oh well. Kaveh expected this from the very beginning. Apart from his darshan, it was difficult to find people in Sumeru who had a special passion for artistic forms. Especially after the restrictions on public performances were tightened. People were leaning more towards applied art.

[Reader] was the first person he openly asked for this form of help. Of course, he also drew inspiration from various people at the Academy but usually none of them knew about it. Moreover, his main education was in architecture. In his case, knowledge of plant and animal motifs was much more useful. And they didn't have much to say about whether they wanted to be someone's source of inspiration.

— Not true! I'm ready! — [Reader] shook him violently by the shoulders. — Just tell me what to do!

The architect's ruby eyes seemed to glow. His mind seemed to shift rapidly to another track.

— So listen carefully. For the final exam, everyone has to prepare a sculpture inspired by any book. There is a scene I want to recreate when the main character runs in the rain to meet her lover. This is perfect because your hair is wet and…

— You read cheap romance novels — [Reader] said, as if in disbelief.

— I beg your pardon! - Kaveh huffed indignantly. — A book is a book...

— No, you don't understand! — [Reader] interrupted him. — I also read them and many others like it. It's just that a lot of people around say that they are not worth much.

— You mean Alhaitham? — The blond raised an eyebrow with theatrical contempt.

— Not only him — she admitted, slightly embarrassed. — Sumeru is the city of wisdom. This is not everyone's definition of something worth devoting time to.

In fact, that's exactly what happened. People in her darshan often told her that she should focus on something more useful. After all, as a woman of science she should be the example and read only serious literature. It is best to create equally serious publications and research on its basis so that the whole process can be repeated from the beginning with people who will come after her.

With recent improvements in Akasha base libraries, the need for physical copies of books has decreased significantly. Not many new items were printed anymore. They tended to focus on small expenditures. Fortunately, the situation was saved by novels imported from Inazuma. Yae Publishing House was doing quite well and, to [Reader's] delight, it was quite accurate in her reading preferences.

— Hmpf! I see such reading as satisfying human needs. Some people just need to read about magnificent events and feel emotions. There's nothing shameful about it. Now that we've established that, let's try sketching...

***

[Reader] felt that this was how it would all end. That's why she waited in the now closed library under the cover of darkness. The only company she had was the pale moonlight streaming through the windows and a small candle placed on the table.

The section with physical copies of books, access to which was restricted in the Akasha, was quite well guarded. Fortunately, the chief librarian also studied at Vahumana. She knew the girl very well. So, though apprehensively, she lent her the keys for the night, at the same time pointing out that if anything happened, she would blame [Reader] without hesitation.

— Good evening — the student greeted Alhaitham wryly.

Silver hair reflected streams of moonlight. He seemed to be an apparition in the night. Silent and elusive. At least so far.

— [Reader], what are you doing here? — The boy glanced at her.

— The more important question is, what are you doing in here? — She received no response. But she knew it well.

— You can not do it. — [Reader] tried to keep up with her friend.

She really hoped something had dawned on him when they talked that afternoon. Writing an interdisciplinary thesis was required in both Vahumana and Haravatat. As fate would have it, the instructors selected them together. She was pretty sure they just figured not many people could stand Alhaitham. She understood why. He could be aloof if he didn't like someone. She herself really liked the idea of cooperation. Until something else came into play beyond the project itself.

— It's not theft, [Reader]. — The boy quickly jumped down to the floor below.

Sometimes she wondered how he was so fit after spending half his life with his nose buried in books. The muscles probably didn't come from turning the pages but she had never seen him practice.

— You know it's not about stealing! The thing is, they might throw them out… — She took a roundabout route downstairs.

A few days ago, when a couple who also had to write a thesis came to them with a request, the girl couldn't believe what she heard. The professors specifically selected them with a topic that contrasted with their own. They expected that Alhaitham's work would, as usual, receive the highest scores and that they would be able to deliberately fail two students who were inconvenient to them.

So, out of desperation, the poor people came to ask for [Reader] and her friend to put in just a little less effort than usual. All this so that they could still study at Akdemiya. They encountered extremely different attitudes. While the girl empathized with their situation and decided to help them somehow, Alhaitham said that if they are not able to impress the teacher with their work, then maybe studying is not for them.

When Alhaitham proposed using information from the library's hard-to-access collections for her work, [Reader] protested. Any other time she probably wouldn't have had any problem with it. Now, however, it would be an additional advantage that would drastically reduce the chances of their rivals. She had no doubt that few people went so far as to sneak into the library illegally. If anything, it was usually done through acquaintance or with the help of bribery to obtain the keys. The two students probably did not have such opportunities. Meanwhile, her friend was doing it like a real thief, entering the library through who knows which entrance.

— It's not their fault they're being picked on by professor — Alhaitham admitted, looking for a suitable shelf. — But that doesn't change the fact that if they were able to write a perfect paper, professors wouldn't be able to throw them out.

— Why can't you cooperate with me? — asked the frustrated girl.

— After all, we divided the research areas together. Each of us does our part. We work together, [Reader].

In an academic sense, that's what it was like. But that wasn't what she meant.

— But... - she wanted to protest but gave up.

What sense did that actually make? Alhaitham has been doing what he wanted since he was a child. If he had a vision in his head, he did everything he could to make it come true. His logical arguments were difficult to refute. She didn't stand a chance.

— Wait a minute… — [Reader] snatched three thick volumes out of six out of his hand. — We don't need this at all. Sounds like something that... — In a split second, everything took on a new meaning. — You came here for them too? — she asked as her friend took the books back and headed for the exit.

Alhaitham handled the armful of books with ease. There was a faint smile on his face. As if he was proud that she had finally deigned to understand his plan.

He didn't have to write a worse paper. It didn't make logical sense to suddenly pretend to be stupider than he was. He would also not rub the noses of mean professors whom he himself did not like. Instead, he was able to help two students to set their work to a higher standard. He won't do all the work for them but it should make their job a lot easier. If they put some effort into it, they should be able to do it. Besides, he read the first chapter and dared to claim that they really knew what it was about.

He didn't expect [Reader] to grab his arm as he was about to leave the library.

— I'm glad you're helping them. I'm really happy but why couldn't you tell me that right away? I know you like working alone but we're a team now. Your plans, Alhaitham, are not so obscure that others cannot know them. — With that she walked back towards the moonlit table.

***

— Remind me why you drag me out of bed at six in the morning. — [Reader] yawned loudly.

She waddled half-consciously after Kaveh, who was bursting with too much energy in the morning for her liking. His blond hair reflected the glow of the sun just rising over Sumeru. He bounced with almost every step, showing his excitement. In his hand he held Mehrak that made robotic sounds from time to time.

— You must see this!

— Can't it wait a few hours?" — The girl moaned.

— It can't — the architect said.

So they walked the city streets together. The cobblestones soon turned to packed earth. They went out to the outskirts of Sumer, at the roots of the GreatTree.

— Ladies and gentlemen, maybe you would like to look at the key rings? — A child ran up to them.

— We're not interested in… — [Reader] began.

— Sure — Kaveh interjected.

The girl gave him an accusing look. She didn't get up early in the morning so they could waste time shopping. They were just in a real hurry. She wanted to protest again but her words fell out of his companion's other ear.

The architect began to look at the individual decorations with the air of an expert. They were carved from wood. Each depicted a different animal. The quality left a lot to be desired but the idea itself was charming. Meanwhile, the boy praised his goods, saying that the proceeds would be used to provide meals for hungry children. One piece for one dinner.

— I'll take them all — Kaveh said, holding out his supply of mora.

The girl just rolled her eyes and took Mehrak with her. She knew she couldn't reason with its owner. The suitcase made a welcome sound. The expression on the robotic face changed to happy. [Reader] saw a visualization of recent projects. One of them was a series of houses. It looked like it was quite an early stage of work. She usually saw already finished objects.

— The one with the lion suits you — the girl said as Kaveh finished the transaction and began to put all the key rings into his suitcase.

— I always knew I was the king — the boy said proudly.

— I would say it's because of your uncombed mane but...

— Ha! Just so you know, I got up and did my hair first thing in the morning!

— Awww, Kaveh made himself more beautiful just for me — [Reader] said to Mehrak, who changed his reaction to the smiling face.

In fact, that's exactly what happened. But she didn't need to know about it. He hasn't been sleeping very well lately. He was absorbed both in the work that Kshahrewar required of him and in his side projects. He found satisfaction in it but he had the impression that as soon as he closed his eyes, it was already another day.

When the idea of sharing the project with [Reader] occurred to him at night, he promised himself to wake up earlier to look at least a little better than the sleep-deprived version of himself after a few cups of his favourite coffee. He felt that a little longer and Enteka would really stop selling him the brewing mixture for fear of his health.

— Kaveh... you know you've been cheated on? — [Reader]'s voice was gentle. As if she didn't quite know whether it was worth starting the topic.

They set off along the beaten path again. The blonde nodded. That was the truth. In Sumeru, even health care was financed from above. The number of really hungry children was a tiny percentage. Unlike the other great nations of Teyvat where this was a bigger problem. On the other hand, he preferred to look like a fool. Even if the kid was lying, Kaveh doubted he would spend the money for a completely wrong purpose. He had seen him several times before. He always shared his toys with his neighbours' children. Marbles were often played on the streets and he was most often seen with them. He himself used to spend his days like this. Before the house was completely engulfed in flames and a series of misfortunes began to follow his family.

— Your heart is too good for this world — said [Reader].

— I'd rather have a too good heart than no heart at all — Kaveh replied.

With these words, he took a keychain from his pocket. A tiny swan swayed on the end of a metal ring. [Reader] accepted it, looking at her feet. She felt stupid. Not only did he specially choose an art-related animal for her, which reminded her of their first meeting but he also did not hide it in Mehrak. He knew exactly from the beginning that he would give it to her.

— [Reader]?

— Hmmm?

— It was a compliment to me. I am not angry at you. — Kaveh took the suitcase from her.

— I know — she said.

But the truth was that she didn't know. She felt a tiny stone fall from her heart the moment he said that. Mainly because although to some (including Alhaitham) this constant faith in people seemed childishly naive, it impressed her. She really didn't want him to lose it. It was so embedded in him that it was contagious. And among so many people in the Academy, where competition pushed scientists to do various not-so-pleasant things, it was nice to have someone who spread exactly different, positive ideas.

— We're here — Kaveh announced proudly.

The girl looked around the area but there was nothing here but grass. And also a place that looked as if someone had previously demolished the area.

— Is this your new construction?

— So you were already looking at the preliminary designs? A new center for children is to be built here. They were looking for people in Kshahrewar and I volunteered. Unfortunately, I was the only one. — The frustrated architect slowly exhaled through his nose.

[Reader] looked back at the grass. Immediately afterwards, she remembered the swan keychain still in her hand.

— Well... I don't know if I'll be able to lift all these timbers but the two of us can definitely do it — she said.

— I'm an architect, not a builder — Kaveh replied.

— Are you saying that I have to build this house myself?! — [Reader] panicked.

In her darshan, no one taught about putting buildings together. Much less was any physical work done, apart from trips to the ruins in search of new sensations.

— Of course not. Akademiya will send workers. I just have to do the project — Kaveh reassured her. — I thought that as someone from Vahumana, you probably already had some work with children. You'll have a better idea of what else I should add.

— Yeah,this I can handle for sure.

That day, [Reader] was late for class. Just like the next one and for the next weeks. She knew that the professors in her darshan were not happy. Like Alhaitham, who scolded her that since she had decided to attend the Academy, she should at least show up there. But here she really learned by living example. She was doing something useful with her knowledge. It wasn't just monotonous typing of formulas and reading old books. She was doing something good. Together with Kaveh.

And when the finished house was finally officially opened and she saw the architect's smile among the children, she felt that it was worth it.

***

— What do you want? — [Reader]'s unfriendly voice echoed throughout the vast room.

The Grand Sage's office was well known to Alhaitham. The blue and yellow stained glass windows allowed a dull light to filter into the room. The rays fell most densely on the table covered with papers. This was probably the intention of the architects from Kshahrewar when they designed this room several hundred years ago. Show that work was its destiny and most important function.

— I came to congratulate you.

It was true. At least in part. Since the woman took up her new position, she rarely appeared at home. And if they did, it's usually very late and she just went to sleep.

— There's nothing worth congratulating — she said.

She seemed small next to the huge wooden chair. Tired eyes and a pile of documents indicated a lot of work. Both the one already done and the one that still awaited her.

The furrow on the woman's forehead seemed to grow larger by the second. Her eyes avoided him like the plague.

— You're mad — Alhaitham said.

— I have the right to do so. — [Reader] got up from the desk.

— You're mad at me — he corrected himself.

This wasn't the first time he'd seen her like this. But her anger was rarely directed at him. He was usually just an observer of these rare outbursts. Being the center of one of them was something completely different than usual.

— Why? — he asked.

— You are an intelligent man. You should know it. — [Reader] finally looked him in the eye.

Alhaitham tried to remember the last time they had spoken normally. It seemed like it was recently. However, as he replayed the conversations they had had with each other in his head, he realized that most of them had taken place in the process of handing over her new responsibilities to the woman. The rest were mundane conversations related to living in the same house. And before all this, he himself was busy executing a plan to save the Archon of Sumeru. So the reason must have happened sometime during this period…

— Is this about Nahida?

[Reader] seemed surprised that he called the goddess by name. She was not yet used to her being called this way, even though the Archon asked her to do so personally.

— It wasn't right, Alhaitham.

— I don't understand.

The man knew his capabilities. He knew perfectly well that he had fulfilled one of the riskiest plans that many people would never dare to do. He thought everything through and executed it with precision.

But when it came to [Reader], he seemed to lose most of his skills. It was as if part of what he could normally read in people was hidden from his eyes. This wasn't usually a problem because she expressed most of her feelings right away. But now he had the impression that, although many considered him a wise person, he was a complete fool.

— Oh, by the Seven! That's the problem! You never understand. And no matter how many times I wait for something to change, it's always the same! — The voice echoed, bouncing off the white marble. — Why didn't you tell me all this?

— You weren't required for the plan to succeed.

"You weren't required for the plan to succeed" sounded better than "I didn't want you to be a part of it." Because he didn't want to. Not in such a risky venture. Everything could have fallen apart at any stage. It didn't matter how many times he calculated the probabilities and the possible paths he could take. Neither version satisfied him enough to want to involve her in all this.

— You say it but you don't mean it. The Alhaitham I know always says what he thinks. Because he's honest — she added, poking her finger into the center of his chest.

He knew she was waiting for him to confess. The truth. But for some reason the words couldn't leave his mouth. Because if he really said it, it would be as if his earlier words were a mistake. And he wasn't wrong.

— It's not that I had to be there. I probably wouldn't even be very useful. But it hurt me that you didn't want to share this whole secret with me. I trust you with so many things but you couldn't tell me that you were taking on the most dangerous task of your life? Anything would do. Even one sentence. No details. — She pursed her lips. — What if you have failed? Would I only hear about it if they put you in jail? When Azar would announce that you were dead because you had lost your mind?

Alhaitham stood in the very center of the hall. He couldn't remember many times in his life when he truly felt guilty. Probably in his childhood, when he rarely did something to upset his grandmother. But now this unpleasant feeling had sprouted inside him. Biting somewhere around his heart.

— And then you came up with this nomination for Grand Sage as if nothing had happened... — [Reader] continued.

— You could have refused... — he began.

— Who says no to the goddess of Sumeru? Be serious. Besides, you asked me. And I could never say no to you. — The woman's eyes ran towards the open window, where she could hear the singing of the Dusk Birds. Night was falling over the city.

There was silence. Terribly long.

— I apologize.

Alhaitham wished his silver bangs were covering both of his pupils at the moment. Perhaps then he wouldn't have to see the disappointment in [Reader's] eyes.

— Don't you have anything else to tell me?

The man looked at the pocket where the gift he had chosen throughout the afternoon was hidden. The ring, shimmering green, twinkled warningly in the darkness. This wasn't how it was supposed to turn out. He wanted to congratulate [Reader], leave it here andgo out. And then maybe he would be a step closer. To say the words that had been ringing in his head for some time. But now it seemed to him that the distance between them had increased dramatically. As if instead of a small gap, there was an abyss separating them that had not been there until recently.

— I apologize. — With that words on his lips he left.

***

— I'll end up in poverty on the streets — Kaveh said.

His imagination was already working at full speed. In his head, he created scenes in which he would walk out the door with only Mehrak at hand and a few things he could take with him.

He saw the contemptuous looks of the people from the Academy. The same ones for whom he was their biggest rival in Kshahrewar. And also disappointed, those who were captivated by his magnum opus. After all, the famous Alcazarzaray palace was talked about throughout Sumeru and beyond.

— It won't be like that at all. I know you're behind on your rent but Alhaitham won't throw you out.

[Reader] knew well that these two lived together like a dog and a cat. They were complete opposites. However, despite their frequent quarrels, in the end they always somehow managed to find a common ground. And although this thread was often thin and frail, at least it existed.

Her childhood friend would never do something like that. Or at least she wanted to believe so.

— If necessary, I'll lend you money or find an apartment, — the woman continued.

The position of the Grand Sage should not be used for such purposes but she felt that the goddess of Sumeru would not be angry about it. Especially since she sometimes mentioned how much she appreciated the architect. If she found out that he might become homeless, she would definitely help him.

— I do not agree! Kaveh put his head on the desk as if to shut out the conversation.

— Why not? — [Reader] asked, surprised.

— No particular reason — he finished sluggishly.

The truth was that there was pride in Kaveh. Pride, an old friend he found difficult to silence. Whether it was when he announced in his year that he would become the best student, or when he announced that he would build a palace that would amaze Teyvat. The same friend was biting him now. Because the mere thought of [Reader] knowing about his problems made him feel bad. However, what hurt him more was the thought that she would be the one to give him a loan to get out of this trouble. This is not how it should be. He didn't want it to be like this.

— How can I help you if you don't want me to? — The woman rubbed her temples.

— I do not need help…

[Reader] looked at the sketches scattered across the desk. Cups with half-drunk coffee rested on some of them, forming brown circles like stamps marking nights of work spent creating. She already knew this condition. Busyness was nothing new for the brilliant architect. But now it was worse than usual.

The room was stuffy. Some dust had already collected on the shelves, the particles of which were now dancing in the glow of the rising sun. The bedding looked almost untouched. It probably hasn't been used much in recent days.

— You don't need it at all. It's best to continue ruining your health. You're doing it again, Kaveh! — [Reader] shook her head in disbelief.

— Ah yes! It's best to pick on me. You and Alhaitham are both the best at this! — The blonde jumped up abruptly from the chair.

Maybe he was a little turned on. Lack of sleep and coffee were taking their toll. However, it was true that the two of them were always right there to reprimand him. Though, as he later said, maybe it was because no one else had stayed with him that long.

— If you don't need help, that means you're overdramatic...

These words set him like a rag to a bull. He knew they weren't said with any particular intention. But it was Alhaitham's favorite quip and it reminded him of how long he and [Reader] had known each other.

— That's who I am. If you don't like it, we don't have to talk!

The uttered sentence hung in the silence in the room for a second. Kaveh knew he could be short-tempered. He rarely regretted it. However, this was the moment when he really wanted to turn back time. For that tiny moment that seemed to make a difference in [Reader's] patience.

— You're right. We don't have to — she said, grabbing the door handle. — I wish you would just trust me when I say everything will be fine. — She slammed the door.

Kaveh ran a hand through his hair. As if it would help him in any way. He closed his eyes for a moment but only [Reader's] features appeared in his mind. Her accusatory but sad look. She meant well. She was worried about his health. And it was far from ideal. At least in recent days. Why was it so hard for him to admit she was right?

The man put his hand to his chest. He felt his heart beating rapidly and laughed heartily. He was a poor art lover if he couldn't recognize the most common motifs in his life.

He shook his head and grabbed the first sheet of paper full of sketches. He had spent the last few days working on it but it didn't really matter at the moment. He reached the door, praying to the Goddess of Wisdom for his success.

— [Reader]! [Reader], wait! — he cried, breathing heavily.

He was never in good shape. Fortunately, the street wasn't crowded yet. Most merchants were just arriving with their goods to be able to arrange them later.

The woman turned around with a surprised look on her face.

— I thought we weren't talking anymore — she said sarcastically as Kaveh caught his breath.

— Sorry. I didn't want to accept your help because... — There was a moment of silence. — Because... Oh, Seven! Why does it have to be so hard when I have to say it myself?!

This was definitely unusual behavior. Because since [Reader] first met the blonde, she had never seen him speechless.

— Because I was ashamed to accept help from someone I was madly in love with! — With these words he fell to his knees and reached into his pocket.

Several people on the street looked around curiously and two merchants even whistled, cheering the man on.

— Kaveh... what are you... don't be silly. — The panicked woman tried to pull him upright. — You're not going to propose to me here, aren't you?

Everything happened at breakneck speed. A few minutes ago they were still arguing. She definitely didn't expect this when she got out of bed this morning.

— This isn't a proposal. For now. Because I'm not saying I will never... Just not now... — he added, regaining his former self-confidence. — This is my gift to you. With a vow to improve and a request for you to become my beloved muse.

The ring he pulled out of his pants' pocket was made of paper. The same one that, as [Reader] recognized, was lying on the desk not long ago. How on earth did he come up with this? She had no idea. She had to admit it was cute though.

— All right, all right. I'm just begging you, get up. People around us probably think that we have just become fiancées... — while saying this, she discreetly pointed to two clapping men, who were joined by a group of dancers and a random passer-by.

— It doesn't bother me... OUCH! Okay, I'm not saying anything! — He raised his hands to surrender.

***

— I'll walk you to work in a minute — Kaveh said as he left the house.

[Reader] closed the romance novel she was reading and placed it on the table. She drank the rest of her coffee as she got ready to leave for work. She said goodbye to the scribe as she headed down the street.

Alhaitham watched the couple leave, still trying to convince himself that he had to finish reading the book. After a while, however, he put his reading aside. Right next to the one [Reader] was reading earlier.

Sometimes thoughts came to him. What if he were the architect now? But then he always thought that it would never work. Even though he wouldn't admit it out loud, Kaveh was better at something than him. In being a speaker. He was able to put into words what was in his head. No matter how many titles on rhetoric books Alhaitham read, he was unable to implement their concepts in his life. Logos, ethos and pathos were not on his side...

#alhaitham x reader #kaveh x reader #genshin impact x reader #oneshot #genshin impact #alhaitham #kaveh #sumeru

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chickenparm · 1 year

Text

Proof of Concept (Kaveh/gn!Reader)

So, I read his story leaks, had a legitimate weep over this stupid, beatiful man, then set everything to the side for a moment to crank this out. Originally it was meant to be "ha ha silly dramatics" and then it very quickly evolved into "let's explore kaveh's deep-seated abandonment issues and his skewed perception of his self-worth".

anyway, enjoy, expect more kaveh.

AO3 Link

Kaveh/gn!Reader 3,847 Words - SFW Hurt/Comfort, spiraling internal monologues about self-worth in a relationship, slight codependency, resolved angst, Kaveh cries but never in front of anyone and you can't change my mind.

Kaveh owes more to you than Dori ever could have conjured up as a debt to keep him in shackles. Yet you don’t hold him down, you don’t demand constant recompense. In fact, you never make mention at all that the betterment of his life and mental health stems from you and you alone.

When he moved out of Alhaitham’s home and into yours, Alhaitham had a rare show of concern that to any other onlooker might have been mistaken for cruelty or unnecessary jabs. But Kaveh is well aware of Alhaitham’s thought processes, loathe as he is to admit it, and understands that Alhaitham’s question isn’t posed out of malice, but of a subtle concern for someone that had once been his friend, and now exists in a nebulous in-between.

Are you sure it’s wise to place so much stock in them? Your trust has been misplaced before, don’t put it in the wrong place again.

Perhaps on another day, Kaveh might’ve nearly spit in Alhaitham’s face for questioning both his and your integrity. But there’s something bittersweet about standing in the doorway of this home with the knowledge that it might be his last time here as a resident. Quietly, he shuts the door rather than leaves, and asks, “It must look pathetic, doesn’t it?”

“Unbelievably so, but I figured you wouldn’t welcome such an observation.”

“But you still feel the need to make it.” Kaveh’s back thuds against the door as he leans on it, the last bag of his belongings falling to the tiled floor. “I’ve always done what I think is right. Even at the detriment to myself. So tell me, Alhaitham, what would you have me do?”

“That’s not for me to decide. You and I both know that our ways of thinking are very different.” Alhaitham could have been more roundabout in calling Kaveh an idiot, but the blond appreciates Alhaitham’s candor tonight, nonetheless. “I’m just saying, don’t be blinded by your feelings to the point of tripping into yet another difficult situation. I’m under no obligation to help you again.”

No obligation, but he probably would anyway.

“Well, I won’t haunt your humble doorstep again, in that case.”

Kaveh wouldn’t dream of asking outright, he’d simply be sitting at the breakfast table one morning with red-rimmed eyes and a despondency that Alhaitham would pointedly ignore. They’d fall into the usual routine, and Alhaitham would call back into the house to remind Kaveh of the rent that’s been overdue since the first month Kaveh moved in.

Yes, Kaveh knows his attachment is pathetic. But a lifetime of transient relationships from the most mundane scholar down to his own parents - one more permanent than the other - leaves him with an emptiness in his chest that he’s relished and nurtured up until the very moment you came along and filled it so easily.

Your home is empty when he returns to it later that night. If you’d been here and asked, he’d have told you the trust that he took the long way home to clear his head. And then you’d ask if he spoke with Alhaitham before leaving. Kaveh would say yes, and you’d ask no more questions because if anyone understood the weird, hot-and-cold friendship of antagonism he shares with the Scribe, it would be you.

But you aren’t home, and these questions aren’t exchanged, because he’d been adamant he finish bringing over the last few bits of his belongings while you were still out working. I don’t want to trouble you, Kaveh all but whined when you offered to call out of work for the day, for something that would only take an hour or so at most.

Though, his little detour cost him the majority of that hour, but it’s fine. You weren’t home, you don’t notice the pinched expression on his face as he places the last of his tools in the spare bedroom you offered him to use as his office space. Much more roomy than the corner Alhaitham had afforded him, with a spacious desk you let him pick out himself, because this was his space, in the home you now share.

If requested, he’d drop to his knees before the Dendro Archon herself and profess his love for you. Thoughts of grand exclamations of his affections danced through his mind between memorized ratios for concrete and recollected dimensions of a particular building he’s been commissioned to renovate.

None of those had come to fruition. One morning, when he stayed over at this very house, in the very bed across the hall, you’d rolled over and cracked your eyes open before murmuring your love for him at the time of day when honesty at its most raw. And he’d taken you into his arms all over again, clutching you to his chest and stubbornly refusing to let you go lest you see the tears welling in his eyes.

Kaveh doesn’t cry in front of you, nor anyone else. Bottling it up is just easier. Then he can unpack things later, and truly feel the crushing weight of everything when he’s the only one that will suffer the consequences. He’s the only one that deserves to suffer through them.

It had been a long time since someone claimed any sort of affection for him, platonic or otherwise. At least in any way that felt clear and true. Sure, his mother sends letters from Fontaine, and she closes them with an obligatory sentence about how she loves her son, tucked between sentences about her new husband and how she’s found happiness again.

Why couldn’t it have been in a place I could be, too? He wonders later at night, but then he feels you shift in his arms in the darkness of the room and doesn’t mind so much anymore. If he’d followed her to Fontaine, he never would’ve made friends with Tighnari, who never would have introduced him to you, who never would have allowed him to love with all he has.

Kaveh’s heart had to learn to beat in new ways, to accommodate the affection you provide him, and the room he’s been given to exercise such muscles.

One by one, he places tools on his desk and aligns them carefully according to his muscle memory. In the midst of a bout of inspiration, little time can be wasted on lifting his eyes to find the right pencil, the right scale, the right template. It’s in the midst of a focus similar to that he doesn’t hear the front door open, or quiet steps down the short hallway.

But the corner of his eyes catch you standing in the doorway, watching him quietly with an unreadable expression. When Kaveh gives you his full attention, your mouth blooms into a familiar smile as you step into the room. “Everything go okay? Sorry I couldn’t be around to help.”

“There wasn’t much to help with.” Kaveh waves a hand, swatting away your apologies that are unwarranted. “Besides, I don’t want to-”

“-be trouble, I know.” An exasperated look crosses your face, just for a second. Kaveh’s heart clenches - he’s not fond of seeing anything on your face that isn’t happiness. He’s yet to reach the end of your patience, but everyone has a limit. It takes only one single brick for a load bearing wall to crumble. Tonight especially, he’s come to realize that the structure of his wellbeing has been carefully crafted around you as its foundation.

Kaveh is snapped out of his thoughts as you take his hand in your own. Like surfacing from a still pool of water he hadn’t realized he’d been drowning in, Kaveh takes a sharp breath and looks at you with a smooth mix of astonishment and gratitude. The exasperation is gone, and in its place is worry. “Are you alright? Are you having second thoughts?”

“Never.” Kaveh says a little too forcefully, a little too vehement. It’s not himself he needs to convince of his adamancy for this being a good decision; he could never regret sharing a home with you and building it further. It’s you, who is suddenly looking concerned. Kaveh takes your other hand as well, his fingers lacing with yours until they’re pressed palm-to-palm. “Just silly thoughts in my head that have been plaguing me all day. Nothing for you to worry about, dear, I just need to shake them off.”

“If you’re sure…” You’re not convinced. But you don’t push, and he won’t reveal a thing until he’s ready. He only hopes that his hand won’t be forced in the form of begging you to put up with him a little longer rather than cast him to the side. Swallowing hard, he pushes those thoughts away with vicious force. You’re not leaving him, he’s done nothing wrong, the two of you are in love-

Again, he’s drawn from his head by your fingers squeezing his own comfortingly. “Then, I’ll believe you. I’m gonna make dinner, anything you want in particular? Sounds like you’ve had a hard day.”

“I’m fine with whatever’s easy for you. I’m going to be in here a little longer getting things set up, if you don’t need help.”

A shrug, a quiet agreement, and your lips pressed to his cheek saying more words than you’ve let free verbally. All he needs to do is call your name, and you’d turn right back around and listen to what’s laying heavily on his mind. But how does it go about telling you that what sits on his shoulders with the most weight is the prospect of you growing tired of him, of you realizing that there might be another out there that offers more for you than he could ever hope to?

So, Kaveh lets you go and turns back to his drafting table. Muscle memory or not, he’s realized he’s placed his tools in the wrong order anyway.

---

Kaveh expected things to feel different.

He’s not disappointed - no, he’s actually rather happy about it all. Living with you had been something he fretted over for months before you were the one to bring it up. To be in your presence constantly was a gift for him, and you expressed the same sentiment, but there’s always a part of him gnawing away at his resolve.

Perhaps you’re just being nice, or you don’t feel the need to tell him outright that maybe he’s a little too loud at night while working on scale models. Maybe you don’t find it necessary to reveal your annoyances when Kaveh forgets to wash his coffee cup before leaving in the morning, or when he wakes up before you and rams his shin on the edge of the bed because he doesn’t want to turn any lights on to disturb you.

You’re disturbed anyway, but your smile is nothing but sweet and sympathetic as he stands on one leg and clutches his shin and tries to bite back his swears of both pain and frustration at himself. Honestly, it’s been weeks, he should be used to the layout even before moving in, when he stayed here often enough that it seemed the natural next step.

When he brings up his apologies for all those made-up grievances - his loud tendencies, his infrequent scatterbrained memory in times of hurry, the growing bruise on his shin - you’re purely confused at it all.

“I’m sorry for being so loud the other night.”

“Were you loud? Ah, Alhaitham mentioned something like that. He gave me these little squishy things to put in my ears so I can still sleep, see?”

And that’s one worry that slips away from him with only a few words from you. You’d never been upset in the first place.

“I’ll try to remember to do my dishes before I leave.”

“Oh, your cup? I make myself breakfast and have to do my own dishes anyway. It’s okay if you leave it, I’ll get it for you.”

He still feels a little guilty when he sets the mug next to the sink, and decides on a happy medium where he rinses it out at least. There, now they both can be satisfied with the outcome, he tells himself as he stomps down the doubt beginning to creep in once more.

As you sit with him in the bathroom after his incident with the side of the bed and his shin, you make him sit on the counter so you can observe the growing bruise. Your fingers poke and prod, and while he hisses in discomfort a few times, you’re satisfied that it at least isn’t broken in any way. “You’ll make a full recovery, my good patient.”

“So no amputations? Thank goodness, what a relief.” Kaveh’s head rolls back to really emphasize his appreciation for keeping all his limbs, and also to hide the way his cheeks flush pink and his nerves creep to the surface. You’re not normally awake at this hour, yet here you are kneeling in front of him as you return from the kitchen with an ice pack.

The chill of it pressing to his skin makes him inhale sharply, and your laughter fills the bathroom as you look far too mischievous for that to have been a mistake. “Guess you didn’t hear my warning. Whoops!”

Kaveh knows damn well you hadn’t said a word. Lost in thoughts or not, he’s got enough presence of mind to keep an iota of attention on you - Kaveh is always watching, always on the lookout for your moods, always worried that this next minor slip-up will be the one to make you realize it’s easier to disentangle yourself from him.

Almost everyone else does.

But things fall into a rhythm as he settles into the home you now share with him. Kaveh forgets his keys once, and the next time he finds a spare key tucked into the eaves of the house without a word of admonishment on your part. You come home late from work one evening and he’s made your favorite dinner and washed up the dishes.

And a new project is breaking ground and requiring him to be out later than usual, more often than not. By the time he gets home, you’re fast asleep, leftovers in the fridge for him if he’s hungry. Even if he isn’t, he eats them anyway, if only because you put the effort into thinking of him. Kaveh only hopes you hadn’t been waiting up for him.

Tentatively, he closes the bedroom door and leans on it. You’re curled around his pillow, your face buried in the fabric as you fell asleep while inhaling his scent. His heart clenches, panic creeping in at the thought of you going to bed alone and pining for him while he was miles away working.

Kaveh should have been here. He should have been firm that he wasn’t going to stay late at the site, so he could return home to his partner and ensure that they’re happy, and laughing, and not lonely in the slightest. Precedence should’ve been given to you, because you’ve always given it to him. He’s been unbelievably selfish and self-centered, and only realized it when it was just a little too-

“Kaveh…?” Your voice breaks through, mired with your leftover sleep as you break from a dream and look at him through cracked eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Everything, he wants to say, and it’s my fault.

The light catches on his jaw as he chews his cheek, and your eyes zero in from across the room. A nervous tick, something he does when he’s stalling for time and thinking of an answer that he thinks is going to be the most diplomatic. Yet he’s never needed to be that way with you, he’s supposed, and under your scrutiny he quietly cracks.

The bed dips under him as he disrobes and climbs beneath the sheets. Rather than push you out of his space meant for him to sleep in, he simply winds himself into the empty spaces left amongst your limbs until his chest is pressed to your back in a perfect curve. Nowhere ever feels as right as when he’s pressed against you. The only time his heart feels as if it’s beating at a proper tempo is when it’s perfectly matching yours.

And the thought of losing this, of having ruined things with thoughtless actions makes his lungs feel too shallow to pull in a full breath of air. They shudder with the effort, stinging just as much as his eyes as he buries his face into the crook of your neck and hopes to every Archon listening that you don’t feel the dampness on your skin from his overwhelming feelings.

Kaveh flinches as your hand comes to rest on his forearm winding around your waist. The tips of your fingers trace along his skin, along silvery scars you’ve memorized from that accident so long ago that had been so detrimental to him mentally, rather than physically. Beneath the pads of your fingers, they’re less obtrusive, even after years of smoothing via the passage of time.

Biting his tongue, Kaveh holds his breath to avoid the quake of his body as it attempts to breathe in and then let it all out in a harsh sob. You don’t need this, you don’t need to know why he’s desolate, even if it’s because of you. Desperately, he wants to keep you close, to show that he can do better if you’ll only give him another chance, and another, and another…

“Kaveh, darling, why are you crying?” Your voice has more clarity now; you hadn’t gone back to sleep after he took you into his arms. Kaveh should’ve figured that, and he self-admonishes that it would be awfully difficult to remain asleep if your lover was clinging to you and wetting your skin with their tears.

How does he begin to tell you what he’s feeling? Of all the seminars and lectures he’d been to during his time in the Akademiya, a fair few of them began with a question for the audience. It’s as good a tactic as any, and he pulls away to wet his lips and grimace at the salt gathered there from his tears. Quietly, he poses the question, “Are you going to leave me?”

Anyone else would have responded with an outburst. A demand to explain what he’s talking about, how he’s come to that conclusion, why they’re being accused of that. But a quiet sigh leaves you as your fingers continue their trail along the skin of his arms. It’s not a denial, not at first, and his breath starts to pick up before you adeptly calm him with only a few words.

“I knew something was going on in that pretty head of yours.” You don’t turn to look at him, affording him a bit of privacy when you could’ve easily looked him in the eye and put him on the spot. Kaveh leans heavily against you, burying his face in your neck once more to take in whatever comfort he can glean from you before you let him down. It would only be your right, of course.

Your hand stops, instead wrapping around his wrist, to pull it from your body. When his hand is freed, you lace your fingers together and squeeze hard. The sharp sting makes him inhale, clears his thoughts for just a moment so he can fully listen as you say, “I’ll never leave you, Kaveh. But I need you to tell me what brought this one on.”

The wording is precise; this isn’t the first time. It can be attributed to a myriad of things, but they all can be boiled down to their base level of definition. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Says who? You?” It’s a bit biting, but that’s what he needs right now, he knows. Softness lets him slip away, lets him dig deep into his woes and wrap them tightly to the point of strangulation. Only a firm hand is enough to keep him grounded in the moment, to keep him listening to what you have to say. “Kaveh, there’s only one person who gets to decide who deserves me, and that’s me. And there’s no one else that I’d rather love than you. I’m not going to leave you, even if you want me to. You’re stuck with me.”

Stuck. As if you were the burden, not the one in this relationship that shoulders the majority of burdens. Kaveh lets out a quivering sigh, one that breezes across your skin amongst the wetness left there, chilling to the point of goosebumps. “I love you. I just feel like I don’t give you everything that you need, or deserve. The entire world is just out of my grasp.”

“I feel rather fulfilled without the whole world, thank you.” Sass seeps through, your fingers tightening around his own briefly before you shift back further against him. The gesture emphasizes your adamancy as you say rather plainly, “Excess is just that. I don’t need anything more than what you’re already giving me - your love, and companionship. Seeing you happy is all I want, Kaveh. Are you happy with me?”

“Unbelievably so, that’s why I’m terrified that you’re not. It would be so easy for you to just… cut loose and count your losses-”

“Easy for whom? Certainly not for me, because losing you would be something I’d never fully recover from.” The hand not holding his reaches up to tangle in his hair for a moment, fingers pushing hair behind his ear in a blind, clumsy movement that he leans into on instinct. Your voice is lower and even as you remind him of a simple fact that he often overlooks in his moments of weakness. “I love you. You mean everything to me.”

The tension in his shoulders eases, the tightness of his jaw loosens so he can feel the ache of his teeth from the pressure. He hadn’t realized how tightly he’d been wound until you deftly untangle him with so little effort. The tremble of his voice is unmistakable as a fresh wave of tears come, this time in relief. “I love you, too. So much that it hurts. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably the same as me, which is ‘be a disaster’. We’re better together, Kaveh. There’s nothing you could do that would make me love you any less.”

A sharp whoosh of air leaves you as his arms suddenly wind tight, abandoning your hand in favor of simply clinging to you with all the strength he can muster.

Kaveh expected things to feel different. And they do, bit by bit. It’s a work in progress, a first draft, a proof of concept as the two of you build toward something safe and wonderful. In the morning, he’ll drink his coffee and hold your words close enough that the heat and pressure will burn them into the fibers of his beating heart, meant only for you.

#kaveh #kaveh x reader #kaveh genshin #genshin kaveh #gn reader #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #pretty self-indulgent ngl #but you'll have a good time

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