How is it strange to apply human rules to the cats in wc when they are humanized to the point where they are basically humans in cat suits?? They don’t play by feral cat rules, they have medicine and practice law and operate on the same level as humans in terms of basic morality. I’m not really expecting an intelligent response from someone who unironically calls people “antis” but at least TRY and use some common sense here.

alright, yknow, that’s actually fair, anon, i wrote that post quickly in a state of annoyance so i wasn’t clear.

i was specifically referring to aging there (and a little bit to cats’ idea of family/incest, at the time, but given that wc canonically understand cousins/grandparents for the Kin of Kin prophecy that’s a moot point).

cats don’t age like people! this has been a topic of fandom discussion before! we generally decide to label kits as children and apprentices as teens, but those aren’t 100% accurate. i was trying to point out that you can’t compare something like brackenfur being a warrior when sorreltail was a kit to a human couple where one was already a young adult when the other was born, because of the way the cats age.

human age gaps are also often impacted by when the couple met—a relationship between two people who meet as adults on a level playing field, with ten years between them, is different than if they had known each other when the younger was growing up. but clan communities are very insular and, since relationships outside the clans are (or were) banned, by necessity brackenfur was going to be a figure in sorreltail’s life just because they lived in a very small camp together.

i hope i just explained that better for you. however, i want to be clear that i also made a mistake in my post when i didn’t make my main point clear enough. i didn’t expect anything to come of it.

it’s a fictional story. it doesn’t fucking matter. if you ship. something. morally objectionable. it’s literally fine. game of thrones is all incest and pedophilia and assault and was the biggest show in the world and, well, would you look at that. incest rates didn’t skyrocket, none of it became normalized.

also, to address the “unironically calls people antis” bit: i was not calling the people who get up in arms about warrior cat ship morals antis. i think some of them would probably call themselves that, and some of them have some ideas in common with the larger anti movement, but i dont know enough (or care to find out) about random people on my dash, so i won’t call them that unless it’s particularly egregious/obvious.

i was referring to the antishippers in fandom as a whole, and in the warriors fandom, and i know they do exist because i have run across them in years past. i was referring to that past in my tags.

and antis started the whole pro/anti thing way back when, so please don’t try to insinuate it’s a name the wider fandom community throws at them against their will or something.

Hotch x reader - how to help you

Heyy, could you do a Hotch x wife/girlfriend!reader who's having a hard time with a case that hits a little too close to home, specifially readers childhood?? Xx - Anon💜

TW: mentions of past trauma and toxic parents

At first you didn’t think this case was going to be an issue for you, nothing until you started getting further and further into it, and things began unravelling.

That’s when things started to get hard for you, everything you were reading sounded so familiar and we’re bringing up memories you stuffed down years ago.

Setting the file down, you ran a hand down your face, and you saw that you were trembling, so you quietly stood up.

“Hey guys I’m just going to take a walk, stretch my legs.”

“Alright, you need anything while you’re gone?” Rossi asked.

“Nah, nah I’m good thank you.”

Rossi nodded and looked down at his file, but Hotch watched you as you left the room.

After a minute he excused himself and followed you outside to find you sitting on a bench in front of the police station.

Walking over, he sat next to you.

“You okay?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good.”

“No you’re not. You repeat the same word at the beginning of a sentence when you’re upset.”

You glanced at him and looked back out at the road, pursing your lips a little as you took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it go.

“It’s something about this case isn’t it?” He asked quietly.

You slowly nodded your head.

“I… I want to focus I do I swear but it’s.. it’s like I’m there reliving these memories..”

You looked down at your hands.

“I shoved these memories so far down inside of me praying one day I would never have to face them again.. go through them again…”

“I can take you off the case if you want me to, you can stay in the hotel, go back home, whatever you want to do.”

You sighed a little, balling your hands into fists.

“I… I just need to go back to the hotel for a few hours…”

Hotch nodded his head and reached out, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, no it’ll be okay.”

He frowned.

“I’m coming with you, come on.”

Hotch took you back to the hotel and he lead you back to your room, watching as you just walked over to your bed and sat down.

He’d never seen you like this, and he was worried about you.

You just stared at your hands, balling them into fists and you leant down and resting your forehead on your hands.

Hotch slowly walked over and sat next to you.

“What’s this about?” He asked softly.

Hotch had a feeling he knew, the case revolved around abusive parents and the unsub in their own twisted way trying to “save” them.

“I guess now it’s time I probably told someone…” you whispered.

You sat up, and ran your hand over your face.

“My… parents weren’t great parents. They… I suppose the only way to put it is aggressive… they were nasty people, you know?”

“(Y/N)…”

“Some of the things they did was just downright cruel… they would beat me for fun.. nothing I ever did was good enough for them.. nothing..”

Tears were streaming down your face at this point and Hotch reached out, slowly put his hand on your shoulder.

You looked at him.

“Come here.”

You slowly moved over, half laying in him and he wrapped his arms around you as you quietly cried into his side.

“You don’t have to work this case…”

“I just.. I want to go home..”

“We’ll take you home then.”

And he did, Hotch pulled from the case as well to take you home and keep an eye on you, and he could see how much you were struggling with this.

For days you would wake up with nightmares, you were on edge, constantly just staring into nothing.

He knew you had only explained a brief bit of your past to him, so finally he sat you down.

“I need you to tell me everything, please?”

You looked at him confused.

“Everything about you past, will you tell me everything about it?”

“You want to know…?”

“I think it would help you if you spoke about it, all of it. It may not solve everything, but at least you won’t have to carry this alone anymore.”

You slowly nodded.

So you dove into everything, the very deepest parts of your past you had never told anyone about, the things you kept hidden from the world and from yourself.

Hotch was on the verge of tears as you told him about everything.

Everything you had been holding in for so many years, memories collecting dust and cobwebs in the darkest depths of your mind.

Finally you finished talking and you sniffled a little bit.

“You never told anyone any of this…?” He whispered.

You shook your head.

“Why..?”

“Because… I guess I always blamed myself…”

Hotch reached out, taking your hand in his.

“None of what happened was your fault okay? I promise you right now absolutely none of it was your fault. Why didn’t you tell anyone about this? Talk to someone?”

“I just wanted to forget…”

Hotch nodded his head and sat back, holding his arms out.

You leant over, laying on him and he just held you in arms, letting you just cry quietly in the safety of his embrace.

He wasn’t going to force you to talk to anyone, but he would encourage it, but now that he knew Hotch was hoping he could help you somehow.

The first task was to somehow figure out how to help you with your nightmares

Okay this is probably a sensitive topic but I find your blog to be really fair and balanced despite the drivers' fans from both sides may not think so. Anyway my question is that why do you think George should dislike Max (even Alonso) or refrain from hanging out with them? They're not great people sure but he's their co-worker. Not everyone can spend their careers isolating himself like Lewis has done, his reasons for doing so are justified so I am not blaming him at all, but George doesn't HAVE to do it. He can and should enjoy a relatively peaceful co-existence with his colleagues. He, Max, Lando, Alex have things in common too, they're in stable relationships, they are close in age, it makes sense for them to be casually friendly. He and Max will not be besties but I don't think it hurts to have a cordial relationship with your colleagues especially when you aren't personally affected by whatever they've done. Lewis is great but his burden is uniquely his, George or anyone else can't be expected to share it. I think it's a bit absurd to expect George to dislike his colleagues on Lewis' behalf especially when he will spend longer with them than Lewis. Lewis and George aren't even close enough to demand that sort of loyalty. I am sure Lewis knows and understands this too. I usually agree with a lot of what you say but I believe we shouldn't police who George can or cannot be friends with.

Because, I tend to not be friends with people who are dicks to my friends, particularly if those people are racist.

“Lewis is great but his burden is uniquely his” not to be rude anon, but no the fuck it ain’t. The burden is on everyone else to be anti racist, not on him to stand up to dehumanising treatment. That’s the bare minimum.

That’s all I really need to say- further rant under the cut because I was writing at 5am and it’s basically a given.

It’s a bit of an unfair twist to say Lewis has “isolated himself” when the treatment he’s isolating himself from is heavily laden in micro aggressions and on track behaviour that could have killed him.

Also, not to be that George fan, but if you really need a point not about Lewis - the vitriol aimed at Lewis and subsequently Mercedes ABSOLUTELY effects George. He has been subject to mocking and harassment from Red Bull fans from the SECOND he he was rumoured to have signed for Merc. He has spoken more than once about how horrible it feels to be Boo’d at tracks, because he is in Mercedes.

None of those fans gave half a fuck about him when he was in Williams, but when he became Lewis’ teammate suddenly his every interview was being called PR trained because it didn’t shit on Lewis or was actively praising. Some of you might not have been around for “PR63” but I sure was, and Merc comments would be full of homophobic tweets from Red bull fans, when they weren’t calling him a cry baby. Max may not be directly responsible for his fans- but he’s frankly never stopped them, if anything he ENCOURAGES them.

Max himself has also called George names, made thinly veiled homophobic insults, had people imply max wanted to attack him. Max said that George was being dramatic and attention seeking for being heartbroken after Sakhir, publicly undermined his efforts as GPDA director to increase safety, to the point George himself called him out for it, said that George should get out of his way when George wouldn’t just let him overtake in Baku, and more. On and off the track Max has insulted and belittled George, the people George loves (Alex, Lewis, Mercedes), and made his job both more dangerous and more boring.

Being cold to Max isnt out of the blue either- George was the first person to speak up about AD21 (literally while the race was ongoing, look up the infamous unacceptable tweet) and was one of the first to condemn piquet sr’s (Max’s defacto father in law) comments at the beginning of last year, to the point man other drivers copied his statement. My point is George has been frequently and outspokenly against stuff max does to the limit he is allowed to say. Shit I have friends who aren’t George fans who say they only thing they like about him is he will not fail to throw a dig at Red Bull and Max if he can- yes it’s for him but he is also using his privilege. Lewis doesn’t get to say those things or he’s labelled a bad sport, attacked by the press, sometimes even F1 itself and FURTHER ostracised. But George can say it, and often he does. It’s probably not “loyalty” that makes him do that, but just… basic friendship?

Let’s be real, I have to look the other way often about things both George AND Lewis do, they travel in circles I’ll never touch, and speak to people I don’t care for, and say shit I dislike. We live profoundly different lives and our bubbles are so different they might as well be on different continents. I don’t expect George calling him mv0 or telling everyone he hates him, the same way lewis doesn’t, because they work with him. But working with someone doesn’t grant them an automatic right to friendship. And frankly f1 drivers have this weird relationship with friendship vs teammates vs on track fights as it is

Just because someone is your coworker doesn’t mean they have to be your friend, especially if they’re a bigoted fuckin asshole.

Thoughts on baela/aemond, baela/aegon, rhaena(?)/aemond

I'm going to talk about their show versions, since they interacted more there. Honestly, anon, I am not convinced that Aemond and Aegon look at Baela and Rhaena favourably and I think the feeling is mutual. I'm not policing anyone's shipping preferences, but, as it stands, I don't think it tracks.

So, if you're really into these ships and don't want to read any counter-arguments, you're welcome to just not click any further.

So my arguments basically stem from the fact that both Aegon/Aemond and Baela/Rhaena had such an awful first impression of each other, that it very much coloured their perceptions in a negative way. This is not a drag on Baela or Rhaena, this is about how each person appears to the other based on a very high-stress, high-stakes incident that was handled very badly by every party, including their adult parents.

These people have never met before Laena's funeral and, after that, they spend another 6 years apart and meet each other exactly one more time before the war starts. When assessing each other, they really don't have a lot of information to work with; the fact of the matter is that they don't truly know each other, so perception is really all they're got here. How someone truly is and how they genuinely act in other social contexts and with other people is irrelevant in this particular situation.

Aemond's POV

The girls attacked Aemond first in the cave and wrongly accused him of stealing Vhagar, he insulted them and hit them back in self-defence. Then they all kicked him when he was on the ground. Baela and Rhaena did retreat at one point and called for de-escalation, but the entire incident left him eyeless and traumatized.

The girls couldn't have known that Jace & Luke had previously bullied Aemond, but, in his mind, I would find it reasonable for him to associate them with his childhood bullies and perceive them as antagonistic. It wouldn't really matter how the girls are in real life, since Aemond's sole interaction with them amounted to literally the worst moment of his life. They could be the sweetest children in Westeros, would a maimed Aemond really care?

He is then the singular narrator of his tale back to his family. He's gonna tell his mother and siblings that Baela and Rhaena attacked him too. They didn't gouge his eye out, but that doesn't change the fact that he lost said eye as a result of a fight they started.

Six years later, he isn't rude to them the next time they see each other, but he acts completely disinterested and doesn't even spare them one (1) glance. The girls don't apologise for what happened either or approach him in any way. Judging by how much of a pressure cooker Aemond is about this issue, I very much doubt he would be keen to interact with people who'd take Luke's or Jace's side. He doesn't react in any way at the news of their betrothal, not when Rhaenys announces it in court, not when Viserys mentions it again at dinner and not when Helaena toasts to them.

Aegon's POV

Aegon has even less interaction with Baela and Rhaena, but I would argue that he basically insinuates himself into Aemond's beef with his attackers.

We can see that the maiming turned Aegon against Jace and Luke, but what about Baela and Rhaena then? At the funeral, Aegon is not seen acknowledging them in any way, is bored AF and gets drunk as soon as possible. He is then woken up in the middle of the night, most likely still half-drunk & feeling like shit and aggressively interrogated by Viserys. All because a bunch of brats attacked his brother, now he has to watch the maester stitch up half his face and protect his mother from his own father. This is literally his divorce from Jace and Luke, but the girls get off the hook even though they also beat up his brother? People seem to forget Aegon also got put in the spotlight because of a fight Baela and Rhaena started. Let's be real for a moment - would someone with Aegon's personality and in Aegon's situation absolve the girls of any guilt?

At dinner, Aegon decides to antagonize Jace by directing his dumb sex jokes to Baela. Yes, it's Jace he particularly wishes to rile up, but he doesn't care enough to not be vulgar to Baela and he's not even trying to hit on her. Not that those crass comments would be OK in any situation, but he only sees her as vehicle to insult Jace. Aegon is showing us how boorish he is; evidently, he's not above harassing the girls just to annoy their boyfriends. When his first attempt fails, he keeps going. He's not going to stop until he garners a reaction.

When Baela throws hands at him after he smashes Luke's face in, he goes to her and makes a ridiculous "boo" gesture at her, as if he finds laughable the notion that she could fight him. He doesn't think it cute, he's mocking her. Later on in the books, Baela attacks him with her dragon, further injuring him and Sunfyre. As punishment, he wants to behead her (twice??) I think it's safe to say he & Baela are too antagonistic towards each other in order to get along. She'd only end up pissing him off.

Rhaena he completely and utterly ignores. But had she and Luke been seated next to him, I'm pretty certain he would have harassed Rhaena to get at Luke. In the books, she spends the war in the Vale and they don't interact any further.

Baela's & Rhaena's POVs

This one is rather easy. What would Baela and Rhaena even see in Aemond or Aegon?

They probably (and rightfully) think Aegon is a lecherous drunkard. Why would they want a relationship with this ratboy?

They think that, by claiming Vhagar, Aemond took away the last part of their mother they had left. They feel Rhaena was entitled to try to claim Vhagar first, even though she might very well have been burnt to a crisp in the attempt. If they ever had a change of heart on that topic, they never voice it out loud. They don't apologise to Aemond or even look regretful, so they must not feel responsible for what happened or think he should just get over it. They sit at a table next to an eyeless boy and act like they had nothing to do with it. When he has his outburst, they must think it unjustified and out-of-place.

Moreover, they never really look preoccupied with Aegon or Aemond in any way. They appear pleased to be with Jace and Luke. Baela, at least, both in the books and in the show, seems to be a die-hard Rhaenyra stan herself. Rhaena is shown to be similarly predisposed - she offers Rhaenyra a cup of wine in a show of support when she comes to attend the council. That would really just drive Aegon and Aemond up the wall. Baela & Rhaena don't seem in any way willing to defect and, likewise, they really don't come across as secretly pining for the village alcoholic and his anime villain sidekick either.

I’ve been thinking this over for the past month and I really need to tell someone cause I’m uncomfortable and it creeps me out a little so my moms bf I don’t like him and never have all he does is emotionally and mentally hurt her but she stays anyways about a month ago he called me out my room and I came out he started talking and at some point about his and my moms times in the bedroom and then he brung up how he was attracted to my aunt and I’ve always been told I look like my aunt and I do people usually think I’m my aunt child cause I look like her but after that a few minutes later he asked “isn’t about time for you to have s*x” I got uncomfortable and said “I’m trying to focus on finishing school” he then ask “why? You scared of an orgasam” and even before all this he told me my mom didn’t really trust him around me I would like to think that’s cause he’s not the best at taking care of kids or something but I’m a minor he’s in his 30’s-40’s and it really creeped me out cause he already said he was attracted to my aunt moments before asking me that and the fact that he’s a grown adult asking a minor that but I haven’t told my mom cause I don’t think k she’d care or she’d kick him out and bring him back weeks later cause that’s what always happens and I don’t really have the best relationship with my mom but I feel so uncomfortable in my own home and I feel bad for feeling uncomfortable cause idk if his intentions were bad but it really creeped me out but I feel like I’m being overdramatic over all of this

You are NOT being overdramatic

I mentally looking you in the eyes and staring you down. That man is fucking crazy.

You should probably tell your mother about that. Hell you should probably also tell the rest of your family so if something happens to you they know who's responsible. However, as you mentioned, there is a chance she might do nothing. He might get aggressive if you tell her. Thats your call, since you'd them better than a stranger like me.

But, I hope your mother is kinder and cares about you more than it feels like.

Do you have friends you can stay with? I am being very serious about this. If he visits frequently, or god forbid stays over, you should maybe prioritize that. If he doesn't get physically violent with your mother thats a good sign he might not try anything with you *yet*. If I were you I would not be taking my chances. At the very least, get yourself pepper spray, a tazer, or a pocket knife, something to keep you safe. Make sure to keep it on or near you. If you can't personally get it maybe someone else can get something for you.

It's important to obtain proof before going to authority. I am unsure of how it is where you live, but I know from personal experience police won't do anything if you have no proof someone is endangering you. Check the law where you live, and see if it allows you to record conversations without consent of all/both parties.

Good luck anon, I hope you stay safe.

Look, I get that you (and a lot of Adrien salters) don't like the double standards that Adrien stans have, but it really seems like it's getting to be to the point where you act like Marinette shouldn't be criticized at all, and gets bothered whenever someone does. Not everybody who has problems with her is an Adrien stan you know.

If you’d like to point me to where I’ve said that Marinette should never be criticized, feel free, but if you just came to my blog to project an opinion onto me that I have never stated, then that’s not okay and I suggest you either leave or block me to save yourself from being exposed to me rather than feeling the need to tone police.

I have been very, extremely, ridiculously clear how I feel about criticism towards Marinette. I don’t like seeing it because I feel like the show does it enough, and if I feel like I have something to say about said salt that I disagree with, I’ll do so, but otherwise I don’t care when other people do it.

If people don’t like her, that’s fine, and I can see multiple valid reasons for not doing so.

We make fun and mock the double standard Adrien stans have, and when I see anons talk about the double standards they’ve seen, that’s what we’re talking about.and that’s what we point out. Nothing more, nothing less, and debating what an Adrien stan is or isn’t is pointless because everyone has different definitions. For me, it’s that double standard.

I use a blocklist and a blacklist, I don’t go seeking out salt or takes I disagree with, so acting as if I’m bothered literally whenever someone criticizes Marinette is an exaggeration at best and an insult at worst.

If I act a certain way, that’s your opinion. I understand that text is difficult to read tone in and my tone can come off snarky/sarcastic and aggressive a lot of the time (of which I do not have to explain to you, but I’ll just say that I can tell you’re new). You could easily have asked me if I believe Marinette should never be criticized (rather than saying I act like it which is incredibly vague and unhelpful) and I would say, “no.” I’ve been given no reason to care how I “act” to you because I’m here to please the people who like my content and it’s as simple as that.

You’ve come here with this notion that I believe that anyone who criticizes Marinette is an Adrien stan, and I would’ve hoped you’d have more class than to imply that I’m an idiot who doesn’t know that. If you have to add in that last sentence with the “you know,” and saying that I’m “acting” a certain way, is merely your way of sugarcoating your point and behaving as if you’re in the right but feigning gentleness about it, which I do not appreciate.

People can criticize Marinette and I don’t believe every one of them is an Adrien stan. If you think otherwise then I see no point in furthering this conversation because your mind has already been made up and I have no desire for a pointless back-and-forth.

“Bex sat down with yall take note like you all are doing her pathetic publicist lol. We got last confirmation of her team lurking on harries blogs”

Anon who sent in that blind, here! Just to clarify- that was a JOKE. Friends and a sister who all work in PR and other different sects of the industry will agree to that Holivia is class book PR. Since those initial seedings on DWD set “Harry is smitten with Olivia”, we’ve been aggressively bombarded with Olivia and her career which is always intertwined with Harry. Read back every article printed from her end; see if there’s just one that hasn’t praised her, mentioned Harry, and her partnerships/projects. PR is much more complex than the influence of sales. That’s just the ploy Hollywood uses to gaslight the public from questioning what’s happening. It’s about maintaining press (Kimye), maintaining/reinventing your image (Justin and hailey marriage-its real but USED for his marketing to shed his bad boy), societal standing, and/or proving a point (Ariana Grande engagement to disprove critics who says she unsteady in relationships or Bennifer where Jennifer is proving that in spite of aging and ARod cheating, she’s still desirable and a badass- though both of their past relationships proves otherwise). With Holivia, on Harry’s end, it’s centered on the first two. Publicly Harry’s image is heavily focused on WHO he’s dating. Musicians uses relationships as an emotional connection to listeners. Take FL: you personally glimpsed what he felt and experienced during that time and, as a result, emotionally bonded deeply with him, supported the album and created its success. With Holivia it was intended to keep his name in the press during that pause between touring. With projects delayed, a lot of people “got” into relationships that coincidentally fizzled out once they resumed working. That cliche of “work became too much” is bs because there’s more than enough technology today for communication. Of course his team could had chosen someone else, but they probably believed it wasn’t going to be this long so they didn’t bother searching for a better candidate. Not to mention whatever false promises Olivia sold Tommy them. Seriously the woman showed up in a butterfly embezzled dress. How more “look at me, I’m connected to Harry styles” can you get? Sure there’s couples who are real and exploit their relationship FOR PR, (Hamille used as marketing for FL) but Holivia is plain PR. I mean you’d honestly think that Harry before the second Pablo/Diana’s attack was happy to constantly share where he was “living” and make himself, as we’ve seen, easy to locate? We’ve never seen him visiting Anne’s or Gemma place, pap pics of him visiting with his family spending time with granddad in the park, or stories of my brother-aunt-sister-friend saw Harry the days of both attack incidents or the night of his robbery. The robbery should had been easily documented as he was publicly out on basically the Christmas of Hollywood couples- yet nothing was revealed until AFTER his team made it public. People recognize him yet, no person recorded footage of him running down the streets, or talking to the police was captured? It’s because Harry lets the public sees ONLY what he WANTS to be seen.

I’m obsessed with you

My setting is like the real world but with various mythical otherworlds secretly connected to ours. One character with powers of psychic illusion was raised by an MiB-style intelligence and/or secret police force (tasked with keeping otherworldly beings from causing trouble in our world) that trained her to mentally torture people. I want to make this character somewhat sympathetic, so it is plausible for her to be indoctrinated as a torturer from childhood? Does it depend how young they start?

Anon I don’t think this is a good idea. There’s an awful lot to unpack here about why that is so I’m going to start off with a simple question that effects how you move forward: what’s most important for you about this character?

 Is it that she’s sympathetic? That she’s effective at her job? That she’s highly skilled and trained? That she’s part of a productive organisation that can actually do the tasks it sets out to?

 Because if she’s a torturer then realistically she would be none of those things. And making her any of them is (in my opinion) torture apologia: because it is portraying a torturer in an extremely unrealistic way that favours the torturer and excuses the abuse they carry out.

 You would, literally, be repeating lies popularised by real life torturers.

 Torture does not work. It is impossible to get accurate, timely information by using torture. Here’s an introduction to why. Here’s a post on what torture does to investigations. Here’s a guide to writing what torture does to interrogations. Here’s a list of investigative strategies that actually work. Here’s a post on the damage torture does to human memory. Please read these masterposts and take a look at my sources as well.

 Torturers are not indoctrinated radicals. The organisations that torturers are part of actively try to screen out anything they see as radical, deviant or a product of illness. There aren’t enough studies on torturers for me to give you a break down of their politics but my impression from the anecdotes and interviews I’ve read? Their politics is ‘normal’ and mainstream for the organisation they are part of. Whatever that organisation is.

 Torturers are not taught from a young age because torture is not complex. It does not take months to learn how to hit someone. Torturers learn on the job by assisting other torturers.

 Torture is simple. It is functionally easy. I really can’t stress that enough. The most common tortures globally right now are: hitting people, depriving them of food and depriving them of sleep. I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that six year olds could come up with that list.

 Hurting people is not complicated. It requires no skill and no training.

 The evidence we have suggests torturers lose skills as they turn to torture, a process Rejali calls ‘de-skilling’. The basic idea is pretty simple: if you spend all day hitting people instead of practicing what you were trained for (gathering evidence for example) you get so out of practice that you start to forget how to do those things.

 And then there’s the effect that torture has on torturers. They get symptoms. They develop lasting, serious, mental health problems which directly effect their ability to do their jobs.

 I have a list of the common symptoms here as well as a rough guide for how many symptoms you should be considering for torturers and torture survivors.

 Separate to the symptoms is the general pattern of behaviour torturers exhibit. We don’t have a lot of high quality studies on torturers and there are a lot of questions we do not have clear answers to. However the studies and the anecdotal evidence of survivors, witnesses and torturers themselves points to some consistent behaviours.

 Torturers don’t work alone. They form little sub-cultures within larger organisations. These groups are incredibly aggressive, competitive, self-important, hyper-masculine and violent. Torturers look down on everybody else. They are convinced that they are the most important people in their organisation, the only one’s doing ‘real work’. They have an arrogant, puffed up pride that combines with mental illness and seeing their colleagues as competition to create the worst asshole you’ve ever had the misfortune of working with.

 They do not cooperate with other people. They use abuse as a pissing contest, competing to see who can be the most brutal in order to try and ‘impress’ fellow torturers.

 They define strength and group loyalty by hurting other people.

 They have a fracturing effect on organisations, because they don’t obey orders and see their colleagues as competition or useless. At the low end of the scale this means cliques, secrets from the larger organisation and a terrible working environment as they bully and belittle their colleagues. At the high end of the scale there are cases where torturers have attacked and murdered people within the same organisation.

 Does any of that sound sympathetic?

 I like a challenge when I write. I’ve described my writing style as ‘hold my beer’ because I tend to take ideas other people dismiss as impossible to pull off and try my best to make them work. I do this because I love exploring human complexity through fiction.

 A torturer who is currently torturing is not a sympathetic person. They are a bullying, violent, arrogant brute who contributes nothing useful to the organisation they latch on to, sucking up time and resources like a tick. They see other people as garbage. And they lack insight into their own crimes. Which means they do not appreciate or acknowledge the pain and damage they cause.

 Now I have written a character who is an ex-torturer who I think is sympathetic in some ways. But getting to the point where they could be sympathetic meant them having to leave the organisation they were part of on a stretcher.

 Their fellow torturers turned on them. They lost a leg. They changed sides and in the middle of a messy civil war they dedicated themselves to keeping their friend’s children safe.

 And I had to set the story twenty years after these events to get that character out of their own ass enough for them to be sympathetic.

 Even then, I’d say they’re sympathetic in spite of having been a torturer. Because they’re still clinging to that insistence that they did something meaningful. They still can’t accept the extent of their own crimes or the effects those crimes had.

 But their pride broke. And they did keep those children alive. They helped raise them. And the tie to those children is what makes them sympathetic by the time of the story.

 Torturers are not sympathetic people. They are self absorbed abusers who bend over backwards to downplay the harm they did to their victims and to justify their crimes.

 Is that really what you want to write?

 I say that, not to be harsh, but because it sounds to me as though what you actually want to write is a genuine investigator with psychic powers.

 It sounds as though you want to write a character who is good at her job. Who is skilled and dedicated and a great person to work with.

 If that’s the case my advice is to ditch the torture entirely. Look at the masterpost on genuine investigation instead and write a character who is good at interviewing people.

 Have her use her psychic powers to present herself as sympathetic to the criminals she’s interviewing. Because she can walk into a room and know their politics, their religious beliefs, their internal justifications for what they’ve done. And she can use that, may be even manipulatively, to seem like someone the prisoner would like, someone they’d agree with.

 That gets people talking.

 And if you want to show her as ruthless, as having an edge to her, that can still work.

 Imagine someone sitting down across from a suspect, holding their hands, smiling, talking to them gently. Imagine them gradually, kindly, getting this suspect’s life story. Imagine them being sympathetic about the reason the suspect murdered someone, validating the murder’s feelings and may be even actions… Right up until they have the information they need.

 Then they turn on a dime. The persona drops, the false-sympathy drains away. They stand up with a sneer and say they hope the murderer never sees the light of day again. And walk out.

 Think about what you want from the story Anon. A character who tortures, or a character who is competent, smart and sympathetic.

 Because it really is one or the other.

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

Love Bites

(a blurb from the “My Girl” Series)

Warning: Smut.

Word count: 2020 (lol)

AU: older!harry, younger!y/n (4-year age gap).

Anon: Hey mg harry making out with bambi and maybe she left some marks on him and thr next day he has to shoot for a naked scene .At first he tries to refrain from opening his shirt but later does and when everyone teases him about it he just gets do smug because he fucked her right. And then maybe telling bambi all about it at night when they're in bed or she is sucking him off. Could u write smthng about it??

.

.

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One, two, three, four.

Four love bites scattered across his neck. He’d forgotten how long he’d been staring at them as if they would disappear if he looked long enough.

When he returned to the room, she was still perched on the bed, her hair damp and her skin flushed from their intense love-making. She pushed herself up and blinked innocently at him. “What?”

His irritation was easily detectable. He marched toward the bed and pointed to the red marks she’d left on his neck. On contrary to the horror on his face, she fell back, laughing into her palms.

“It’s not funny!” he grumbled, his face growing hot. She caught his wrist before he could storm out, dragged him back to the bed so he could sit on the edge. She scooted over on her knees, hugging his waist from behind, her cheek cool against his naked back.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?”

Was he mad at her?

“I told you not to leave a mark,” he heard himself say and looked over his shoulder to find that she’d pulled back, frowning.

“I didn’t mean to.” She stroked one of the love bites with her thumb. “I’m sure they can cover it up with makeup.”

They could. But it’d be so unprofessional to show up on set with hickies all over and make people wait for you to get it covered up. He wanted to say that, but what came out of his mouth was a dejected sigh.

“I should go.”

As he rose, she moved toward the edge of the bed, looking up at him with her big twinkling eyes. “I didn’t mean it, really,” she whispered.

He considered her puppy dog face before dropping down on the bed and wrapping his arms around her. He pressed a kiss to her temple and gave a reassuring grin to ease her nervous frown. “It’s okay, kid. Might be a bit embarrassing but—” he chuckled, shaking his head. “God, Brian will tear me apart.”

Brian was his co-star, his best friend in the cast, and definitely the type to make plenty of dirty jokes about the love bites once he spotted it. Styles! Brian would call from the dressing room entrance so everyone could hear it, Looks like you had a fun morning, mate!

Harry snorted at all the reactions in the room, now more amused than annoyed.

“You’re sure it’ll be all right?” Bambi asked, eyebrows still furrowed. “I won’t do it again. I promise.”

He squeezed her hands and kissed her knuckles. “It’ll be fine, baby. Don’t worry about it.”

.

.

.

She couldn’t help but worry about it.

She’d been reading and writing a bit since he’d left, in order to distract herself until he returned. He’d said it was no big deal, but the look on his face had said the opposite. In her defence, she hadn’t been aware of what she’d been doing. She never felt the need to use her head while he was buried deep inside of her, so she guessed it’d been her fault; she’d been careless.

She didn’t know if his contract had specifically stated that he should not get any marks on his body during the shooting period of the film. Even if there was, he still wouldn’t tell her. Also, his manager didn’t like her very much because Harry had dropped so many interviews and photoshoots for her, even before they were officially together. Maybe after this Jeff would hate her even more.

She had no idea when she’d drifted off on the sofa with a book opened and faced down on her stomach. She only stirred awake to the sound of her door being unlocked and opened. She pushed up slowly, stretching her limps as she welcomed him with a lazy smile. The aggression on his face worried her. As he marched toward where she sat, she opened her mouth to ask if he’d got into trouble, but he shut her up with his mouth against her before she could say a word. He gripped her hips, pushing her back on the couch with her head on the armrest.

They only broke the intense kiss so he could pull his shirt over her head and palmed each of her breasts roughly. Her nipples were hard, needy for him. She moaned his name when he kissed down her neck. She was only wearing her panties and he was wearing too much, so she pushed at his chest to get him to rise on his knees, stripped off his jacket and tossed it somewhere on the floor.

She got up to straddle his waist as he rotated to sit with his back against the couch. He gripped her thigh and brushed his nose across her chest before taking a nipple into his mouth. She held the nape of his neck, gasping and tossing her head back.

“What happened on set?” she asked breathlessly. He tried to drag her back in when she pushed away from him, gripping his shoulders. He started palming her buttocks, wanting to pull her to his cock which was poking against the fly of his trousers, but she fixed him with her eyes. “If you got hard after filming a sex scene with someone else, I swear–”

He shook his head rapidly and tried to kiss her again, but she didn’t let him until he answered.

“It’s the hickies,” he admitted, his cheeks flushed, either because he was horny or embarrassed to tell her why. “My castmates teased me for it.”

“And you got smug, didn’t you?” she flashed a grin, stroking his hair. He groaned into her neck and squeezed her bum as she ground her clothed pussy against his cock. She was already soaking through her panties.

“Brian said I must’ve fucked you right. You have no idea how much I wanted to say I did.”

“Why didn’t you say it?” she murmured, her eyes shut as he licked and sucked her neck, probably leaving his own marks on her.

“Not sure if I was allowed.” She felt his smirk against her hot skin as he stroked his tongue over her nipple and licked his way up to her mouth, sliding his tongue over hers. “Does it turn you on?” he whispered. “The idea of me...telling my friends...how hard I...fucked...you,” he said between sloppy kisses.

She couldn’t speak; her mouth was wide open but all she could do was nod. She took no time to unbuckle his belt and got him sitting butt naked on the couch. His eyes went dark, piercing at her as he ripped her panties in half and she let out a frightful scream. Before she could scold him, he shut her up with a passionate kiss.

“I’ll buy you ten new pairs,” he hissed against her lips while rubbing her clit. She was so wet she could hear the delicious sound of his fingers moving against her and then inside her. He pulled out before she could cum and inched his dick into her tight dripping pussy. They both gasped when he was all the way inside with nothing between them.

“Move,” she groaned, frustrated, unable to open her eyes.

His hips stuttered a bit before he started thrusting slowly. “Give me a moment. I don’t wanna cum now,” he chuckled, his face dazed with ecstasy. She ignored his helpless expression and started moving her hips and giggled when he smacked her arse as a warning.

“Do that again and I won’t let you cum.”

She simpered at his empty threat. “You don’t have the power to decide, Harry.” She fucked him slowly, rewarded by the wet delicious sounds coming from his throat. “I can just finger myself on that armchair over there while you watch. Get myself off the way I do when you’re not here.”

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” she hissed, fingers tightened in his hair.

Harry growled as he clenched his jaw and palmed her arse, thrusting increasingly faster. He was so big and deep that she could feel him all the way in her stomach. He stuck his thumb into her mouth as he fucked her harder so she wouldn’t scream. The last time they’d been too loud, one of the old ladies from across the hallway had threatened to call the police. She couldn’t look at the lady in the eye after that.

“God, yes, fuck me. Just like that,” she gasped. “Want to see your face when you come in me.” She rolled her hips faster, every nerve in her body tingle and flare in response to his affectionate roughness.

Harry gave a long and rough groan, “Yeah. God–love you so much.”

“I know, baby. Love you too.” She stroked his cheek, biting her lip. “So fucking good, God, don’t stop, please --”

She leaned over him, hair falling across his chest as she moved, fucking herself on him in a rhythm that started slow, almost hesitant, but gained in speed and force as she went.

“So big, Harry. Filling me up, fuck.” One of her hands was in his hair, but her other hand had slid to one of her breasts, pinching and tugging on her nipple. “Gonna come on your cock. Gonna come on you.” Her hand moved from his chest to her clit, and she started to work herself over again, stumbling on the rhythm.

“Shit, let me,” Harry said as his fingers tangled over hers. “Want to–Want to get you off. Please let me?”

She nodded, eyelids fluttering as she found her pace again. He groaned and thrust up into her, matching her rhythm as his fingers rubbed frantically over her clit.

“Oh, oh God, Harry.” She cried out his name again and again as her back arched and she came, hips jerking against his hand, driving herself down on his cock. She collapsed forward, bracing her hands on either side of his head on the couch, kissing him wild. “Fuck me, Harry. I know you’re close.”

She groaned roughly as his hands went tight on her hips, holding her still as he thrust up and into her, hard and fast. She whimpered and licked along his neck, tasting sweat and salt, and Harry bucked up off the couch and pushed her hips down at the same time. He could only grunt as he chased the feeling.

She bit down on his earlobe, her voice shuddered, “Come in me, please, need it. Need you.”

He rutted up against her, mindlessly pushing deep one last time before he came, pulsing into her. She collapsed on his chest, numb and trembling. The only sound she could hear was the buzzing in her ears, the thunder of her heartbeat, and them panting together.

After a few moments of silence, he pulled back and laughed, looking smug at how dazed she appeared. “Sorry. Made a mess on your couch.”

As he grinned at her, she knew he wasn’t really sorry. He reached down and traced where he was still inside her to find his come still trickling out, and she felt herself blushing at the hungry look in his eyes, as if he wasn’t done with her yet. Her body was almost boneless so they might need to take a short break before consider doing anything again.

“I hope these won’t get you in trouble at work,” he said with a smirk, tracing his thumb across the skin of her neck; he was talking about his love bites.

She rolled her eyes and ran her hand through her hair. “The only trouble is that they’ll remind Eddie of how single he is, and he’ll torture me with an extra amount of work that I might not do anyway.”

He laughed, shaking his head and kissing her again. When his phone rang, it took him a moment to locate it. He slipped out of her unwillingly but kept her on his lap as he reached for his phone on the floor.

“Uh-oh. Someone’s in trouble,” she said and bit back a smile when they saw Jeff’s name on the screen.

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

Coffee, crushes and complications 

This was prompted by a lovely anon! I hope you like it, I sure did!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: pre-Reed900 [Prequel]   [Part2]   [Part3]   [Part4]

 ‘Reed? In my office!‘ Gavin couldn’t think of what he had done wrong, but considering how many times he had heard this sentence before, the anxiety settled in immediately. Still, he stood up, downed the last sip of coffee and walked over to his boss’ office. ‘Yes? What’s wrong?’, he asked, sitting down in the chair in front of the table. ‘What’s wrong?’  The man in front of him laughed heartily and Gavin nervously laughed, too. God, had he phcked up that badly with his last job? ‘Reed, nothing’s wrong, quite the opposite! How you handled this rich asshole was… I would say impressive, but that doesn’t do the thing justice. God, how they could ever throw you out of the police force, I can’t understand. You didn’t let him off the hook until he answered your questions and gave him nothing to work with! That is investigative journalism at it’s finest and damnit, Reed, no one else deserves it more!’ ‘What?’, Gavin asked relieved, but also proud. ‘A raise! I would promote you, but I need you where you are now. I hope you understand that?’ ‘Hey, sure. Wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than in the field.’ ‘Alright. Then I’ll just sign the papers and send them to you. Really, Reed, you out-did yourself with this one!’

-

When Gavin came home that day, the first thing he did was jump and cheer in triumph, then pick up his unsuspecting cat and hurl her around. ‘Oh, Bready, today is the day!’ He kissed her on her shoulder, before she finally decided she had enough with an angry growl. Immediately Gavin let her fall to the ground and hurried to the kitchen, grabbing the phone along the way. The number he searched for was only two clicks away and he let it ring while pouring out some kibble for Bready and heating up yesterday’s leftovers. ‘Hey, Eli!’, he excitedly called into the phone. ‘How are you? You won’t believe what happened today!’ He let his brother guess a few times until the microwave pinged and he let himself and his food fall on the couch. ‘Urgh, Eli you are boring and have too much creativity at your hands. No, I got a raise! Honestly, getting fired might have been the best thing to ever happen to me. I get raises for being a nosy asshole! My new boss phcking loves me and my colleagues actually seem to like me. Oh, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. We need to celebrate that! When are you free?’

He took a breath and began eating while listening to his brother complain about new work politics. Gavin actually felt with him for once. His view on androids had changed quite a bit. He got to know quite a few androids during his work and the day one of his colleagues had come in in tears saying they would have to resign because of some anti-android assholes, Gavin had changed. It had only been a few months since he started his new life, but for the first time he felt like he had his life under control. And like he enjoyed it. Being fired from the only job he thought to be ever good in had been hard. But after being stuck in that low for weeks he had realised that if he wanted to be happy, he had to work for it. And he did. And it had become better. Seeking professional help, reconciling with his brother and finally finding a new job he actually liked had been the end of a long journey that was far from over. But he was happy. And he was confident it would go up only from now on.

Their conversation dropped into casual talk, a few jokes and teasing. It was already late when Gavin decided to end it for today. He was tired and he wanted to at least watch another episode of this new show he enjoyed so much. ‘Okay, so when do you actually have time? Tomorrow? Nah, can’t do, I’m meeting Tina at this new coffee shop. Maybe on the weekend? Yes? Oh, that would be awesome. Okay, bye! Love you too!’

He smiled as he wanted to stand up to bring the phone back, but Bready had already made herself at home in his lap, so he just laid it to the side and switched on the TV.

-

‘Hey Tina!’, Gavin greeted the woman already standing in line. She turned around and her face lit up. Shortly after, Gavin was encased in strong arms and had to chuckle. ‘Hey, hey, let me down, alright?’ ‘God, I haven’t seen you in ages!’ ‘You saw me last month’, Gavin reminded her. ‘I see you dipshit every week on TV! That’s not the same. I miss you.’ ‘Wait you watch it?’ ‘Of course I watch it!’, Tina said and punched his shoulder. ‘What do you think of me? Also, it’s funny seeing you be a dick to people that obviously hide one or two bodies under a rug somewhere.’ Gavin shrugged. ‘Well, whatever floats your boat.’ ‘It’s good to see you like it’, Tina then said seriously. ‘I worried about you after you left.’ ‘I know’, Gavin groaned. ‘But I’m fine, okay? Really, I feel better than ever. Now shut your mouth for a while, I have to think what I want to order for a moment…’

They got their coffee and tea as well as two slices of cake soon enough and sat down in a corner of the room. ‘So, how’s work on your end?’, Gavin asked. ‘Hmm, nothing interesting at the moment. We had a suspected serial killer last week, but it turned out the cases weren’t connected after all and thankfully nothing more than the two murders happened before we got them. Otherwise… Nah, nothing interesting you want to talk about.’ So only stuff regarding the new guy. Gavin had said upfront he didn’t want to know anything about the person that had replaced him. It wouldn’t be any use after all. Tina thankfully respected his decision.

‘I did get to know someone’, she then smirked as silence threatened to stretch. ‘A beautiful, funny android lady. She also likes cats!’ ‘Oh that’s cool, tell me more!’, Gavin demanded and smiled, listening to Tina ramble on, cake and tea completely forgotten. Gavin had been determined to listen intently to her, but his attention was drawn from her as someone entered the coffee shop. Someone very familiar. ‘You got to be kidding me’, he hissed, and Tina caught on to him, turning around. There at the counter stood Hank and Connor, looking at the board. Wait. Was that another Connor? ‘Hey, T, who’s the other Connor?’, he whispered. ‘Can’t tell you without breaking a promise’, she admitted, ducking her head. ‘No phcking way a damn Connor replaced me!’

Maybe he had been louder than expected, maybe Connor just had picked up his name, but the RK800 turned around to him, eyes going wide and tapping Hank on the shoulder pointing over. Hank looked in his direction and apparently wanted to bolt immediately, but the friendly barista behind the counter had already placed their drinks on it. In that moment, the other Connor following them had spotted him too. The next thing he did was march over with large steps.

‘Oh hell no, I’m not doing this! I-‘ ‘Hello. My name is Richard. I’m sorry to have replaced you.’ ‘Oh, get phcked!’ Gavin was not having it. He had wanted to drink his coffee and talk to his best friend. He had no interest in talking to this machine. ‘I have waited very long for this moment, my colleagues having tried their best to make this meeting impossible. So, no, I won’t “get phcked”. Not before I you didn’t accept my apology.’ ‘Yeah, whatever. It’s fine. I was an asshole. Deserved getting fired. Now shoo!’ ‘I still don’t deserve getting a job when a human needs them to survive. It wasn’t fair. I heard you… did not fare well after being fired.’ Gavin took a deep breath, before standing up, the sound of the chair scratching on the ground like a precursor of a fight. ‘Listen here, Richard’, he said, pointing his finger at his chest. ‘My personal history doesn’t concern you in the slightest, okay? It’s true, I wasn’t stable in my old job. I was easily angered, I overworked myself on a regular basis without even realising it in the end. I had no friends. I am depressed. My life was one giant, gaping shithole. When I was fired it was for a good reason, but it send me spiralling even deeper down. But you know what? One day I hit rock bottom and knew it couldn’t get any worse than this, might as well try to make it better. And I worked hard for it. I worked my ass off trying to rebuild bridges I’ve burned and seek help. Get over my own walls and live. Be happy. Find a job. And you know what, you goddamn tin-can? I did it. I am a different man and I am happy. So don’t-‘ He took another breath to steady himself. ‘Don’t you dare giving me pity. I am no sorry broken soul you can comfort so you feel better! So you have completed your good deed a day! I am fine. I am better than fine. So thanks, but no thanks. Don’t need it. Phck off.’

That actually worked. The android blinked at him, obviously processing, before apologising and heading over to where Connor and Hank had sat down. Gavin got back on his seat, too and took a large gulp of his coffee. As he sat the mug down, he stared into a grinning face. ‘What?’ ‘So aggressive’, Tina laughed. ‘Dude, the guy just wanted to be nice.’ ‘Oh, did he?’, Gavin grumbled and tried to get an inconspicuous look at the android. Of course, he had chosen the same moment Richard had looked over at him, so he quickly turned back around. ‘Yes’, Tina chuckled. ‘You don’t know how annoying he can be. Replacing you being unfair is the one topic he can’t shut up about.’ ‘Perfect’, Gavin sighed, but couldn’t keep his thoughts in check. Had this android really tried to advocate for someone he didn’t even know? ‘Yeah, always said how after going through your open cases and notes, he couldn’t believe someone fired you. He thinks you are some kind of genius I think.’ ‘Oh, wow, an android has a work-crush on me’, Gavin over-exaggerated and rolled his eyes. ‘Hey, you wouldn’t be that far from the truth there’, Tina shrugged. ‘”Gavin Reed would not have” is like every second sentence of his. It’s cute actually. And ever since you put him in his place just now, he is staring at you, that fancy mood-light turning yellow.’ ‘It’s what-‘ Gavin turned around, cursing when he stared in his eyes again: ‘Shit! What’s his problem? Anyways, you wanted to tell me more about Steph. Please. I beg you. Ramble about your soon to be girlfriend, I want to think about anything but this android.’

-

Richard on the other hand knew exactly what his problem was. He had exactly 335 software instabilities and errors to keep track of while he couldn’t keep his eyes off this human. He had known the man to be remarkable. But after that reaction? Oh, he definitely had to get to know him better. So, long after the human had left the shop and even after he had driven home, Richard was still planning how to see the man again. Maybe Tina had been right. Maybe he truly had a crush.

[>next part]

Howdy hey its Glass Anon :D

I'm back yet again with Miles Edgeworth for anyone who wants to see it. It kinda links to what I said about him being authoritative and even the scenario you kindly wrote about a sick S/O and essentially I think that Edgeworth could potentially set up situations (through backhanded or shady means - he knows too many corrupt people who could help him out if they owed Edgeworth) to put y/n at risk after they ignored his advice to not go out, only for the police to swoop in at the last minute due to a very very convenient tip off from a well respected member of society (😉😉😉) and saving them at the last minute. Miles of course would rush in right answer to comfort an absolutely traumatised y/n who wished that they had just listened to Miles when he had told them that it wasn't safe to go out. He's probably going to come across as very condescending ("What did I say y/n? Didn't I tell you that you that it was dangerous. I know how these lowly criminals think, you're lucky that the police received a tip off.")

That man knows how to play mind games and while I fully believe that he doesn't always trust himself to not come across as rather cold and short, using manipulation in this way would be his insurance that y/n wouldn't immediately be put off by his attitude.

From that point onwards, he'd probably start herding y/n toward the conclusion that they are clearly incapable of being independent so it would be better if they were to find someone trusted to live with, and who better than the financially secure prosecutor who has saved them from danger so many times. Obviously if this didn't work then Edgeworth would employ more aggressive means (hired kidnappers because there is no way that he would ever get his own hands dirty) to make sure that his y/n is safe and tucked away in his estate which is of course is filled with top grade security measures.

Miles will look after y/n now, there's no need for them to ever leave the estate and put themself at risk when they can stay with him and live in luxury,and while Miles will not always be the most emotionally available person, he will try his best to make up for it with material gifts or through spending time together.

Yeah :D so that's just what I thought. Major condescension towards y/n thinking that they are capable of supporting themself, this screams Edgeworth in my opinion. I hope that this was enjoyable to read and that you are having a lovely morning/afternoon /evening/night

These are some great headcanons, Glass Anon! I love the amount of thought put into them and all the little details sprinkled throughout. It was an enjoyable read indeed!

While I can’t see Miles going to these lengths, I still think these headcanons are wonderful. If I had to add on anything, I’d say that he’d only resort to such extreme measures when he becomes desperate. Like his darling doesn’t seem to be interested in him so he feels he like has to forcefully drive them into his arms.

I personally think these would work better for Kristoph, but that’s just my dumb opinion! Still love ‘em, like I said.

______

- Mod Dollie

Hey hawk, did you observe a pattern among people who participate in Woke-ism culture, they seem to have similar "traits" and "personality"? Dislike the "straight" orientation (usually identify themselves as gay/lesbian/bi and brags they are LGBT every second), they seem to think gender identity is a personality trait etc therefore "I'm holier than thou because I list myself as she/he/they/it". I bet they are gonna scream at me for being whatever "phobic" just because of this post lol

*clears throat* yeah they gonna scream at you but they can’t scream at me because it’s been a year that I am in an lgbt relationship soooo xD

Ofc I noticed this kind of behavior, these woke ppl really like be ‘different’ and tbh the thing I find more irritating is when they define themselves ‘autistic’ or ‘asperger’ or ‘adhd’ whathever other mental illness/condition, because these are serious things that should be diagnosed by a specialist and not an online tests, and usually ppl who have a real problem are not so incredibly vocal about it. Sure they don’t brag with it....”but I don’t have money to take a test and my parents don’t let me!” they say? yeah. could be. but it also could be that you just wanna look special and since you’re socially anxious or shy or just a b*tch, you like to play rude and then justify yourself with those labels, and if someone dares tell you you’re a piece of shit you can call them ableist lol

Same for race or country. Not taking anything away from populations/countries/cultures/religions that have been oppressed, but sometimes I cringe cause some ppl try so hard to fit in this. Like, at some point 99% of populations were invaded by others and oppressed, and I’m sorry for welsh ppl, to just name one (no offense it’s the first that came to my mind cause I read a post recently lol) but if this continues we’re gonna have to seek justice for the victims of the vikings’ raids lolol

Anyway, back to what you were saying. I partly get that lgbt ppl are vocal about what they are bc maybe they can’t tell their families or friends, and they use social media as outlets. but like you said, your personality is not defined by who you f*ck and/or love (It’s not even defined by the fiction you like, actually, but they think so). So while I understand ppl describe themselves in their profile and specify their gender identity and sexuality, for me it’s cringey when they take it too far. Like when they start with all the labels ever, or they make combinations...demisexual panromantic/asexual demiromantic/trans nonbinary aroace spectrum...sounds like a competition of who’s less ordinary. Bonus points if they also add race and illness. Bonus points if they pretend they’re experts and activist and they shit on ppl who ship something or speak of top/bottom bc they’re fetishizing gay mlm/wlw and how dare they, dirty cishets (cause Anon, straight is a too banal word lol).

(also...not to offend ‘aroace’ ppl out there but...when someone is like 12...couldn’t it be that they’re just...too young for caring about sex/love? asking for a friend lolol)

I mean, tumblr has a lot of lgbt ppl and it’s cool, and I know it’s hard to live as an lgbt person cause you can’t do what het ppl do normally, like kissing in public or holding hands or writing cute posts on fb bc someone might bitch or be even worse, so this creates a bitterness and aggressiveness on social media I guess, especially here where minorities are the majority lol. And I too, on my personal blog, occasionally ranted about things like internalized homophobia and queerbaiting, but only very rarely lol and no one paid attention to me, guess I am not lgbt enough hahahah

But, it’s stupid to use sexuality labels as a shield to shit on ppl and then call them --phobic when they react. It actually happened to me a couple of years ago, I wrote something about bottom Sasuke and this self defined aromantic+asexual+autistic+gay american dude attacked me for fetishizing gays. Back then I was in a relationship with a guy so for him I was only a boring straight person I guess, a gross fujoshi who dared like mlm haha. fuck him. If I were the same type of person as him I would have pulled the oppressed card, I could have attacked him reminding him that his country treated italian immigrants like animals, and that they had this veeeery big problem of being unsure about our ‘race’ so in their papers they often wrote ? cause they couldn’t understand if we were poc or not...but it would have been kinda off topic and I cartainly don’t waste time talking about me to ppl I don’t even trust to be what they say.

Also because I was raised by parents who were very politically involved, so I remember them doing activism, like, getting out of the house, going to protests, doing volunteering, even taking me along when I was little. So even tho now everything happens online first, and even tho posts can spread awareness and change ppl’s minds, I still don’t trust when I see those blogs full of angry woke activism, because they seem fake and even those ppl seem fake. It’s easy to scream for justice from a keyboard, in a comfortable house. It’s less easy to protest in the cold, risking to have problems with the police, the government, the pandemic, whatever else.

It’s irritating that wokies want to take the right to like smth in the right way or whatever, telling everyone else who don’t fit in the minority group that they can’t like the thing. Idk, I just wish ppl were like in Eastern Asian fandoms, not making everything about themselves, being open minded enough for whatever ‘different’ thing whether they are into it or not, and if they’re not ignoring it only.

And I do get wanting to fit the minority, as a teenager I was veery punk/gothic, depending on the moment, and I never fit in the majority opinions or habits anyway. And I was kind of fluid with my identity and sexuality, but silly me, I kept it for myself, even tho I discussed with those who insulted lgbt ppl and I wrote stuff where everyone is bisexual by default, thinking that it was how people were born before society conditioned them...I could have bragged but I had no idea about ‘fluid’ or ‘pan’, silly me.

I am so irritated at everything, like the words they use, even the english language that is not mine, is getting on my nerves because it’s the vehicle for their crap, but these periodically trending words are disgusting like these ppl to me.

I migth have gone out of topic again lol.

Hello fellow fan who has been here since the beginning! I come from the “other side” I suppose, in that I do think the top/bottom discourse is worth talking about. It has to do with the elephant in the room which I haven’t seen anyone touch on – self-identified top!joe fans (in contrast to simply fans who enjoy or prefer content where joe tops). I remember the original top/bottom discourse coming out of a more general conversation about trends in fic (1)

Thank you fan!anon for sending me such a long, detailed message! Never apologize for writing me an essay since I always seem to be writing essays for other people in return lol. Also sorry it took a while to get to! This required a bit of preparation. You’ve given me a lot to respond to. I’m going to be putting the entirety of the ask under the cut and the tl;dr because this one is very, verrrryyyy long. 

Tl;dr- fan!anon talks about the history of top/bottom discourse in TOG and the issues of racism in our fandom. My response: my own feelings on the history of the top/bottom discourse in TOG and the current state of it. General issues I’ve observed in this fandom and the current discourse. Also, we shouldn’t ignore fandom racism, but I don’t think we should be looking at it through the lens of top/bottom, AND I think we should be focusing on misogyny, homophobia, etc. in addition to racism. Not ignore one for the other. 

Bottom line though, don’t harrass people, block people if you need to, focus on what you love, support fan creation and let’s try to be a better fandom. 

Okay, time to dig in!

Hello fellow fan who has been here since the beginning! I come from the “other side” I suppose, in that I do think the top/bottom discourse is worth talking about. It has to do with the elephant in the room which I haven’t seen anyone touch on – self-identified top!joe fans (in contrast to simply fans who enjoy or prefer content where joe tops). I remember the original top/bottom discourse coming out of a more general conversation about trends in fic (1) wherein Joe was more violent, less empathetic, often not religious, more aggressive in sexual scenarios, and also most often topping. People asked the fandom in general to simply consider, if that is how they perceive Joe, to reflect for themselves about implicit biases that could be colouring that interpretation. The self-identified top!joes used that conversation as a starting point to argue that the above interpretation of Joe, (2) and writing/drawing Nicky as smaller, almost twink-like, demure, more feminine (or writing fic where he was de-aged) was justified by canon (if you recall the multi-day argument about the approximately 1 inch height difference between Marwan and Luca) and connecting those ideas to top!joe just “making more sense” to them. In the hands of a good writer (of which we are blessed to have many in this fandom!), which character tops in an explicit fic is of no consequence to me. (3) But the concept of top!joe has, in my mind, become so closely tied with those fans who, a) interpret these characters and actions in a way that seems influenced by racial stereotypes and tropes and b) use that characterization as “justification” for top!joe. All this when I thought we all agreed that position preference has nothing to do with personality? (4) If someone sees Joe as a very masculine, aggressive, dom-type character (which is a bit of a one-note characterization to start, but I digress), that shouldn’t be related to him being a “top”, correct? Yet that is the interpretation and connection that the top!joes themselves make. So that’s why to me, the top/bottom framework continues to have some value, eve though in an ideal world it wouldn’t: (5) because some fans connect what should be a neutral sexual position preference to an interpretation of Joe’s character, an interpretation which I think doesn’t do him justice. I understand if you don’t want to publish this but I’m hesitant to talk off anon due to how heated this whole conversation is. I also don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make them feel bad about how they are participating in the fandom, but I do think self-reflection in terms of how we engage is valuable. (6) And just to fully reiterate in case it wasn’t clear, my above points are specifically referring to who I think of as “top!joe only” fans as opposed to fans who enjoy or prefer content in which joe tops – only the former of which I am wary of. Anyways, sorry for this long message, and I hope I've been able to explain my reasoning. If we continue to disagree, thanks for reading this anyways and continuing the dialogue. Thank you also for promoting femslash events and content! (7)

So....I did say in a previous post that I’m not a big fan of hearsay, and I’m sorry but… that’s kind of what you’ve given me. A lot of “this is what Top!Joe Only people have said” and “this is what the rest of the fandom has said back.” I have to ask, who are these “Top!Joe Only” people that are on the other side of this fandom war? Who are the people representing the “rest of the fandom”?  The only names I could really come up with myself are the Top!Joe Server mods as top!Joe only fans, and they haven’t exactly been active recently. Not to mention the Top!Joe server mod @karanoidandroid was the focus of the Art Theft and Bullying debacle a while back (here) which even if you disagree with her… that’s not the way you treat people. Full stop. 

But anyway, to break this down, you’ve said that top!joe only fans wanted to interpret Joe in a way that was “more violent, less empathetic, less religious, more sexually aggressive, and topping (most of the time)” and that Nicky is “smaller, more twink-like, more demure and feminine” and that the hardcore top!joe stans are using this interpretation as a reasoning for liking top!joe explicit fics (and for underage fic?)

Er, honestly, I’ll have to disregard the “less religious” comment in this one. Lucyclairedelune has talked about it very eloquently here. As for the rest, let’s say these opinions were expressed on tumblr in July, just when the fandom was getting started. However, after personally going through all the Explicit July fics, I gotta say, the overwhelming majority of writers are focused on romantic Malta sex vacations lol. 

From my personal observations (I started reading fic on ao3 in August), I’ve seen some stories that cater to very… specific tastes (mostly kinkmeme fics so I’m not going to touch that) and some that have…. been written in poor taste perhaps. But, honestly, the majority of fics (aka G, T, M rated) that I’ve seen? I would say that they were written with care and concern for the character’s portrayal. 

Now, some fans (usually older fans) are very focused on “your kink is not my kink” and other fans feel this is an inappropriate way to view “racist, homophobic, islamophobic, etc” fics. And I agree with that. If people are using kink to excuse racism, homophobia, islamophobia, transphobia, antisemitism, misogyny, etc, in fics: Fuck that. But I think there’s a lot of misunderstanding flying around when people react to ‘ykinmk”. This fandom likes to assume the worst of their fellow fans imo, and I honestly don’t think that when a person defends kink that they’re trying to defend racism. They’re trying to defend their kink community which, historically, has been attacked and misunderstood by the purity police. Look into the Livejournal, ffnet, and even the Tumblr purges if you don’t believe me. 

For the record, I don’t know anyone on tumblr personally. We’re all effectively strangers talking to each other on the internet, so I’m not going to make assumptions about people from stories they’ve posted on AO3 or the kinkmeme. If you want to talk about the issues those fics represent, that’s cool, but don’t harass people whose life stories you don’t know (and don’t vagueblog about them). (This is just a general statement, not saying this about you anon! I feel really strongly about this.)

Now you say, “some fans connect what should be a neutral sexual position preference to an interpretation of Joe’s character” and I hate to say it, but there are ALWAYS going to be some people who have awful opinions. Ones that are either truly terrible, or kind of in poor taste, or maybe you just don’t vibe with them. Personally, I don’t have enough time in the day to address every weird thing that a person spews on the internet. I won’t judge if you want to take them on, but, personally, I haven’t seen any recent militant top!joe only posts that are calling for racist portrayals. I see people referring to past conversations, for sure, but again, I can’t do anything with hearsay. 

And honestly, we keep bringing up the top/bottom discourse of early TOG fandom, and we’re just not the same fandom we were then. SO MANY people have left the fandom in that time-- a lot of big name (or simply well known) fans and a lot of MENA fans. Regardless of what “side” you’re on in this, we all lose by focusing on the positions, by dividing everyone by “top” or “bottom” or “switch” fans, and by bringing up what people said in July, or August, or September.  It’s exhausting, especially because I think a lot of people have done exactly what you said. Many authors HAVE self-reflected, they’ve thought about trends, the implications, and are contributing/interacting with the fandom as best as they can. Do I think we should stop focusing on self-reflection? That we should stop being careful about writing potentially damaging portrayals of our favorite characters? NO. Let’s keep at it! Let’s encourage others to do the same… but not with top/bottom discourse.

Let it be known that I don’t think racism is a topic we should disregard to focus on other things. Honestly, I would be happy if people gave some of the energy they have for “top/bottom” discourse to talk about the portrayal of Nile Freeman or Lykon or Copley or Quynh… the other POC representation in TOG that usually gets ignored. You may interpret this as me going “but what about??” and that’s fair. I just think that we talk about Joe ALL THE TIME in this fandom. There is an avalanche of conversation and content for this man (who I love, don’t get me wrong) and it just feels really disingenuous (to me) to talk ad nauseum about racist portrayals of Joe, but then to ignore Nile Freeman and wlw fics when Nile is the rare Black Female Action Protagonist and Andy/Quynh is an extremely rare interracial canon lesbian couple. And I’ve been trying to use my blog here to bring attention to this, think of me what you will because of that. (Again just a general statement anon! Not directed to you XD)

And from what I’ve seen in this fandom (and many others to be fair) is that we care about racism SO MUCH…but only when talking about how a man has sex.  It speaks of a lack of intersectional understanding of these topics, disregarding the misogyny that IS ALSO inherent in fandom, and disregarding the homophobia of overfocusing on the top/bottom dynamics. BUT I’m not asking you to ignore racism; all I’m asking is for you to focus on the other issues too. 

Bottom line though… the discourse is not what it once was.  A lot of people, on whatever side, have left the fandom, or have taken a break, or are vocally tired of “top/bottom” discourse. Personally, I think we should talk about racism… but not through the lens of explicit mlm fic sex positions. Let’s talk more about race, gender, sex and sexual orientation, but not in a way that divides the fandom, in a way that makes people sick of being here, in a way that kills our content creator’s passion. Honestly, I think it can be done! But only if we work toward that goal together. 

I would like to focus on encouraging events in our community, such as the ongoing Old Guard Big Bang 2021 event and the upcoming Femslash Fortnight Spring Solstice Edition event. If anyone is organizing other events, let me know and I’ll hype you up! But as for the rest, I’m tired, you’re tired, we’re all tired. Let’s try and work harder to be a kinder, more inclusive fandom in the future, for everyone’s sake. 

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foul, sexual, and otherwise “Adult” language

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this blog is founded upon the idea that fiction has reflections in reality, but that fiction does not utterly equate to reality. You should write with realism, your characters should be people in their own right, and you should absolutely be addressing many popular topics responsibly, which is to say realistically. I do not support or otherwise condone purity culture, so while realism is a big deal here, fiction = reality arguments are a no

seriously, you have no idea how fucking salty I am! I try to be fair, reasonable, and mellow with everyone, but it can and does come out.

This blog tags for common, major triggers, but it is not for those easily triggered or particularly sensitive. By proceeding, you take responsibility for yourself...like a mature adult. I expect you to utilize blacklist, unfollow, and block. Tag format is simple, it is literally just the word in most cases, with “cw” and “tw” added to particularly common things. Example, a post containing a breakdown of forms of dubcon will be tagged #dubcon #dubious consent. If that was specifically of a sexual nature, since tumblr is unfriendly to using Not Safe For Work now, I will be using #notsafe for sexual topics. In the event that this needs to change, it will be posted about, the previous tag left intact, so that you may update your blacklist.

You are always welcome to send me an ask or private message requesting a particular trigger be tagged for you. I try to check blogs I see following, especially if I follow back, so that I can tag what you require. However, I’m a person, I’m an ND, ill, busy person though, I do make mistakes!

If you find yourself desirous of telling me to tag in a hateful way, don’t. You will not be responded to with an apology and kindness. Do not be rude, it’s uncalled for when informing someone of a problem or making a request.

I will run the blog largely on a queue, and will not be following many people back. This is not personal! I just like to try to provide content at many different times, have a life elsewhere, and I am so happy that you love your fandom, but it might not be something I’ve enough interest in to have on my dash.

Don’t tumblr message me. Use the inbox or submit.

Due to recent events, I am changing this rule. It’s hard for me to receive messages unexpectedly, and I hate to imply that I’ll be able to get to these quicker because it isn’t the truth. Quicker, better responses come from the inbox. However, there have been too many incidents lately in which people needed to speak privately and had to make that a request. If you’re having a problem and need to vent, request sensitive advice, etc.? It’s alright, go ahead and drop me a PM, y’all. I’ll get back to you as soon as I am able. Please, do not be angry with me if I respond to inbox things or my queue is running! You’re important to me, I just might not have the requisite social cognition and energy you deserve at that time.

Aggressive inbox messages will be responded to in kind. I don’t care if you are on anon or not, if you haven’t an ounce of polite communication skills, I won’t have them either. This is not a “we don’t publish anon hate” blog.

I highly encourage asks and submissions on any and all RP topics, and it’s perfectly alright to be salty as fuck in them, you can totally vent here, but don’t take out your frustration on me or be demanding of me. I am always happy to help with information, advice, or just a response to your venting-it’s important to know someone is listening. However, it may take me a few days to a week to get to you, be patient. 

If you are going to vent, leave out usernames. This isn’t a callout or burnbook blog. It’s fine to state characters and fandoms, but if this becomes a problem, it’ll have to change. I don’t want this becoming a salt blog for one or two fandoms I very likely can’t even stand. Practice the fine art of alluding to things, its good experience for your writing! Besides, RPC problems are RPC problems, I promise. It might feel like it’s just your fandom, but there is something relatable in all corners.

I will not overly police comments. Keep the slurs and shit out of it, though. If there is an issue going on pertaining to a serious instance of hate speech, or behavior I, personally, deem as too inappropriate and/or immature to be taking place on my post, I will step in. Otherwise, I expect everyone to be adults in the comments and reblogs too. If you want to argue with each other, that’s your business. If you want to argue with me, I’m not sorry in advance.

Addition to the above: this is not a blog in which it will be tolerated that commentators or those submitting with the URLS are targeted for callouts, shaming, or other instances of bullying. No, I cannot make those people stop bothering you by blocking them, but the least I can do is address that by shutting down their access to this blog and it’s posts by blocking on the URLs I have for them. And I will. Fuck that “we can’t be responsible for” shit. It’s my blog, it’s my content I’m putting out there, I’m not going to just ignore shit like what went down over on COAR, thanks. Not. Cool.

This is definitely not a place for:

people who think giving muses labels, including top/bottom “dynamics,” is a good substitute for character traits, personality, and development

those with no reading comprehension skills

folks dependent upon aesthetics and aesthetics-based purple prose as filler for actual writing

anti-original character/just wants to fuck a FC or canon character club, get the fuck out immediately

y’all who see writing as an obstacle to getting down to action, be that smut, drama, or fight scenes...it’s literally a writing hobby

politics, any manner of phobe or ism, violent/non-inclusive feminists, purity/rpc/fandom/content police of any manner, and exactly any manner of racism, sexism, or religious intolerance - I give not a shit if it’s popular to hate the straights, for example, I neither believe in nor tolerate reactionary classifying of any group as blanket-statement evil

people who are going to tack onto my posts shit like, “it’s okay, OP, you can say x character.” Trust me, if I were talking about one character, I fucking would name drop them, don’t bring me into your fandom drama, I doubt I know or want to know who that anime guy is who looks like 12 other anime guys to me.

About Vespertine

You can call me that, Vespertine. I’d rather you didn’t go with Vesper, but as it is unfortunately so likely to happen, I won’t feed you to the dogs over it either. RPB Mun is also acceptable.

I’m alright with either she/her or he/him, they/them is also fine. Apparently, that was big enough clue-in for the poor reading comp crowd, so while I feel it is not of importance, I’m nonbinary, yes.

Late 30′s, chronically ill but still working adult with neurodivergence. I’m both busy and Busy, and always sick. This limits my brain power and ability to be here. I have an active RP blog that I won’t be sharing to keep responsible distance. That is always going to be my priority, it is my primary hobby.

Please, don’t tumblr message me totally random things if we don’t have that kind of relationship! I’m too ill and busy, and it really fucks my nerves to have a bunch of messages/have to suddenly interact socially with people. Don’t do it. Use my inbox, use the submit, comment on posts. I cannot do random messages of “hey” and so forth.

I only do written RP, don’t expect me to understand much of anything from tabletop. I’ve RPed for the last 23 years consistently, on every platform from AOL chats to forums to messengers and here. I also don’t do RP in discord, so I’m sorry, but I can’t advise you much on anything with a word count, except to stop it for serious RP. Other than that, I promise you that I’ve seen the trends, the drama, the fandoms. I can give a lot of advice and perspective on a wide range of topics, situations, and characters! When I don’t have a clue at all, I’ll try to do enough research to give you an answer.

Do I come off as a horrible, strict asshole? I do! I’m not going to say that I am just a shy bean who is more scared of you than you are me. I’m not. I’m honestly feral, but have common decency, compassion, and sense. All of which are lacking in the general RPC. So, if you can inbox/common/otherwise interact with anyone else on this site, you can totally handle me!

Honesty and openness are policies.

And in the spirit of that, I repeat; you can fucking do better, tumblr RPC!

Are you a Gold Star lesbian? (Just in case you don't know what it means, a Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian that has never had the sex with a guy and would never have any intentions of ever doing so)

EDIT: i’ve been told this anon is a bot, and a lot of people have received this same message. who would program a bot to do this and why is a mystery to me. assuming no harm is done in doing so, i’m going to keep my response up instead of deleting it because i spent a good amount of time writing it, and i think it’s informative, which is why i wrote it in the first place.

~~~

i’m going to do you a favour here and assume you didn’t mean any harm by asking me this, that you just didn’t know better or didn’t think it through. i’ve said some pretty weird things to people on impulse, so i know how it feels when people react aggressively when you weren’t trying to insult them or freak them out or anything. normally, i would just block you for something like this and delete the ask, but given the number of asks i’ve been getting these days after a long drought of interaction, maybe it’s a good idea to re-establish some boundaries, not to mention explain to someone who might not know better why i have so many objections to the concept of a ‘gold star lesbian’.

first off, even when i’m hosting a frank discussion about sexuality on this blog, i never want to be asked about my sex life. some people are comfortable talking about theirs on tumblr -- i am not one such person. people are welcome to enjoy this blog and ask the occasional question, probe me for opinions, but my personal life is not open for spectators. there’s a meaningful difference between asking me about my sexual orientation and my experiences as a queer person, and asking me who i’ve had sex with. one is an opportunity for education, and the other is inappropriate and invasive. i’m already really dodgy about answering questions about my personal life, about friends and location and whatever, so already that ought to be a good warning to never ask me about my sex life. it is none of anyone’s goddamn business. this is a recipe for an instant block, and to restate, the only reason i’m not blocking this anon is because it’s a learning opportunity, and i’m feeling generous today.

the other reason i’m answering this question is because it’s an opportunity to save you, anon, from the trap of believing in ‘gold star lesbians’. i already know what the term means, and i’ve long since formed a firm opinion about its uselessness. 

1) a lesbian is not a better or worse lesbian for having/not having sex with men. there are a wide range of lesbian experiences that have room for a sexual history/future with men, and nobody -- absolutely nobody -- has the right to claim superiority over these people based on their comparatively “”pure”” sexual history. some lesbians formerly identified as straight, bi, pan, etc., and some may identify with those labels in the future. some older lesbians went their entire lives thinking they were straight, being married to men and having children before discovering who they are, does that make them less of a lesbian? does that make their current identity less qualified? i’ve been questioning my sexual orientation since i was thirteen years old, and not that it matters, but i don’t even identify as a lesbian anymore. am i tainted somehow? 2) let’s not pretend it’s not about purity, and let’s not pretend that purity means fucking anything when it comes to the spectrum of human experience. nothing is pure, nothing human will ever be pure, and anyone who claims their whatever the hell makes them pure is inflating their own pride at the cost of others they’ve arbitrarily declared are dirty. 3) men are not dirty. sex with men is not dirty. people who have sex with men are not dirty. you don’t get an award for not having sex with men, and the idea that ‘not having sex with men’ is a reward in and of itself is deeply unfair to both men and the people who find men attractive. there are a lot of excellent reasons people choose to have sex with men. the choice to have sex with men is not something i’m willing or even inclined to slander, even if the person making that choice is a lesbian, and even if they’re making that choice for pleasure.  4) sometimes, it’s not a choice. let’s not pretend rape in all its inglorious forms doesn’t count as sexual history, and hopefully we can all agree that, even if you’re 100% certain someone has never been raped, asking them to recount their sexual history to see if they qualify for some kind of honour is, at best, a rude and senseless violation of their privacy.  5) let’s also not pretend the concept of a ‘gold star lesbian’ isn’t borderline transphobic. i’ve seen a lot of people define ‘gold star lesbian’ as “a lesbian who has never touched a penis”, which naturally frames trans and some intersex women as dirty, while also discounting their womanhood. even if the term isn’t meant in a transphobic way, it has altogether too much flexibility as a concept for use by transphobic lesbians and terfs and not enough value in and of itself to bother reclaiming. 6) the label seeks to frame a specific lesbian experience as superior to any other experience, and does so at the expense of other queer people, and for what? is there a point to policing people’s identities and sexual experiences beyond “proving” one person is “”more queer”” than another? it’s ludicrous. it invalidates their experiences to make a select few people feel like they’re inherently better than everyone else, and i’m against that dynamic on principle. 7) if anyone thinks i’m reading too much into this, two things. one, it’s one of the only things my degree qualifies me to do, and two, just look at how the phrase ‘gold star lesbian’ is worded. you get a gold star. it’s a reward, an accomplishment, a sticker on your nametag, something which separates your from and prizes you above others because you did something good. in this case, ‘others’ is functionally everyone else in the queer community, and ‘something good’ is abstaining from sex with men. we’ve already been over why sex with men should never be seen as an inherently bad thing, and we as queer people should know better than to exclude each other for failing to conform to an arbitrarily ‘standard’ experience of sexuality.

i’m sure there’s more, but i’ve already spent enough time on this response. anon, if you’re reading this, it’s okay if you didn’t know better, and i hope i could teach you something today. i do get the feeling you asked this question in earnest, so as long as it doesn’t happen again (in which case, again, you will be blocked), no sour grapes. but to you and everyone else following this blog, this is an example of an inappropriate question -- for reasons on top of how many objections i have to the ‘gold star lesbian’ label. we have fun here on smallnico.tumblr.com, but i’m a real human being out there in the world, and this blog is my platform and spectacle, not me. there’s a reason i’m on tumblr and not twitter or instagram.