#lmfao they almost had it
Text
Bakugou who makes it a habit of FaceTiming you out of the blue because he’s horny. Your friend group and his own have had to bear witness entirely too many times to answering the phone and he’s exposed somehow—they always just wanna say hi, ask him how his recent mission is going. They learn after enough times, that when he FaceTimes you out of the blue, to steer clear of your phone until you give them the okay. there’s just been too many times with you answering and then screaming to the top of your lungs as you clutch the phone to your chest and tell him that there are people around.
but does that stop him? of course not, the little whore. he’ll call you after he’s gotten out the shower, so his body is still wet and glistening. he’ll call you while he’s away in some other country, with his dick in the camera and a pout on his lips because he misses your stupid face. he’ll call when he’s this close to orgasming, because seeing you will always push him over the edge.
he calls you one day while you’re working at home, typing away at your computer, your phone propped up beside you. you answer without looking at him, smiling, asking how everything’s going so far and it’s not until you look up, when you gasp.
“Katsuki!” You yell, a little giggle tearing through your words in surprise. “What if someone was around? Again?” You ask him, but it’s hard to remember why you’re this upset when he looks so pretty in front of you. He grunts, still jerking his cock as he sits on the edge of the bed, his phone propped up on what you believe a nightstand, as you can see the way his stomach curls in from how raggedly he breathed.
“You’re alone, right?” He asks in a huff, eyebrows screwing up as he takes in your wide eyes and slightly gaping mouth as you stare at his form. You nod absentmindedly, already feeling your inner thighs starting to get slick, shifting a little in your seat.
“Show me a tit, or something. I miss you.” Bakugou mutters, eyebrows pinched as he twists his wrist over his tip before he slides back down his shaft.
“When don’t you wanna see my tits?” You tease him, but oblige, lifting your shirt, eyes rolling slightly at the downright filthy noise that leaves his mouth at the sight. You don’t even have to play with them, just sit them on display and he’s already so quick to burst all over himself.
You take it a step further though, pushing back in your chair until he can see most of your body where you sit, slipping out of your bottoms and underwear until you’re on display for him. You put your knees to your chest before settling back, thighs on either side of the arms as you spread yourself, smiling at him all the while.
“So fuckin’—shit!” He sounds damn near strangled as he cums all over himself, eyes squeezed shut as he jerks at his cock. you can’t help but laugh when you hear the crackling of his quirk going off, watch how the sheets beside him char and start to smoke in his intensity. He’s always so easy, you think to yourself with a little laugh as you began to get dressed, and you love it.
#hc that he never used to jerk off this often until he met you bc you just make him feral and insatiable#also almost everyone has seen his dick atp bc of how often he does this lmfao#and the funny part is HE DOESNT EVEN CARE#‘mfs shouldn’t be in the camera when I call YOU it’s their fault’#and in a sense he’s right#I hate when someone calls me and someone else jumps in before I can like HELLO#what you might see is your fault after that lol#anyway this was based loosely on a very blurry dream I had#kinda clear kinda not but I remembered the general idea bc it was funny to me seeing everyone go#‘oh heyyy bkg—OH MY GOD IS HIS DICK OUT?!’#so 10/10 dream lmfao#im so tired of today tho it’s gonna be raining all day so I just wanna lay down all day :(#bakugou treats! 🍬#—new treat in the streets! 🍫
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
we did it stump nation ‼️
#this almost makes up for the grammies snub#i can’t believe he placed SECOND even like i was ready for top 10 but second place lmfao#update he got second to david tenant EWWWWWWWW#if only we had 10 more votes but we’ll get them next time fobbies#my post#patrick stump
354 notes
·
View notes
Text
been sick as a mf dawg but i managed to draw the ol Ollie n Kari halloween costumes for this year🤘
#ollie#kari#my art#original character#halloween#pyramid head#monster girl#monster bf#monster oc#terato#silent hill#monster#sick n tired of bein sick n tired but tHE TRADITION CONTINUES#insert the meme if i had a nickle for every traumatic experience of someone grotesquely vomiting in front of me#and then me getting sick from anxiety the day after i would have 2#all bc of some guy from a state n a half over who Nobody else knew not being able to handle his liquor nor weed im#bc Somebody never got the fact that strangers from the internet are probably weird and maybe dont drag them with u to closed parties#its almost comical how easily it couldve all been avoided and how i couldve never fukkin knew this guy existed lmfao#but alas that is the trajectory of the eternal curse of living AHA#ANYWAY im good now and i feel bad for the guy i do but For The Love Of God#this damn puke phobia that has plagued me my entire life is going to be the death of me i can feel it mr krabs#the horrors persist but so do i i chant thru gritted teeth#oc#exophilia
237 notes
·
View notes
Note
Cockwarming wolfstar? Thoughts? (What if they do it where they shouldn't be. *Cough* bars/pubs/club *cough*) The little whimpers that leaves Sirius when Remus adjusts himself so he can grab his drink from the table
The slight bouncing and rotating of his hips because he can't sit still and Remus squeezes his hips in warning
yes yes yes. i think sirius likes to get remus riled up by flirting with other people. he's dancing with another guy and watching remus' jaw work, counting the seconds to see how long it takes for his patience to wear thin. its almost always when the other guy puts their hands on his hips. thats when remus downs the rest of his drink in one go before standing up, and when sirius knows he's won. grinning from ear to ear because he knows he's about to get fucked.
but remus is pulling him to their booth in the back of the club instead of the door, and sirius is a bit confused. especially so when remus pushes him down to the floor, on his knees before working his fingers over his buckle, growling a low, "were gonna try something new, since you never seem to learn." he's pushing his cock down sirius' throat with a low groan, "you better hope no one comes over here pup," forcing sirius to keep eye contact with a hand in his hair. "wouldn't want people to see how easy you roll over for me," and sirius' eyes are rolling back, the whole situation so deliciously humiliating that all logic is lost to his brain. can't even worry about the possibility of getting caught because all he can focus on is pleasing remus.
#guys im sorry the wolfstar pup brainrot is consuming me i had to#i also love when remus snaps tbh. its almost always deserved lmfao#wolfstar#remus lupin#sirius black
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
CINDY THE SKULL — “Evening, officers. It’s a bit late to be skulking about, don’t you think?” Though she’s lounging around the coal room door as languidly as ever, her pale eyes ringed with coal dust seem to bore a hole in your skull.
YOU — “I’m looking for a place to sleep.”
CINDY THE SKULL — She lifts an eyebrow at you and Kim. “Did the cafeteria man finally decide he wasn’t interested in keeping a pigsty?”
YOU — “No, Kim is still staying there. I just can’t pay my bill.”
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant clears his throat slightly. “Let’s not give people the impression that officers of the RCM make a habit of dodging their tabs, detective.”
CINDY THE SKULL — She glances at Kim, lips pursing just slightly.
EMPATHY — His little comment irritated her. Curious.
CINDY THE SKULL — “Tough luck, officer.” She shrugs, the faux fur collar of her coat brushing her cheeks. “There’s a perfectly good garbage bin in the courtyard. It’s got a lovely view. Real prime real estate.”
YOU — “I know. Garte said I could sleep there, but I’d rather find somewhere else.”
CINDY THE SKULL — She blinks her coal-smeared eyes at you. Then, she turns to the lieutenant. “Is he joking?”
KIM KITSURAGI — “No,” he says drily. “He is not. If you know of any… more *comfortable* places to sleep, we would be much obliged.”
CINDY THE SKULL — She stares openly at the two of you, as if in disbelief.
COMPOSURE — The absurdity of your plight has nearly broken right through her veneer of youthful detachment.
CINDY THE SKULL — “Maybe I’m the one who should be a detective. I can solve your little case for you right now.” She points to the lieutenant. “Your room.”
KIM KITSURAGI — His face is solid stone. “No.”
ESPIRIT DE CORPS — There are so many reasons why he does *not* want to do that. He has neither the time nor any desire to share them with Cindy. Or with you, for that matter.
-1 MORALE
CINDY THE SKULL — She whistles softly. “Damn. Must be true what they say about pigs and cannibalism.”
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant does not rise to her bait.
EMPATHY — But there is something playing at the downturned corners of his mouth and the furrow of his brow. Something like guilt.
YOU — “What about the coal room, Cindy?”
CINDY THE SKULL — She outright laughs at you. “Fuck no! You want in my room, get a warrant, piggo!”
LOGIC — While drug possession is not a crime in Revachol, it doesn’t stop most cops from confiscating substances from vulnerable civilians for their own personal use. Including yourself, most likely.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Hey, good idea! Cindy’s an artsy type, she’s probably got all kinds of shit to get her creative juices flowing.
PAIN THRESHOLD — And to get her through the cold and the hunger and the cruelty.
VOLITION — No. Don’t make things any worse than they already are.
YOU — “But then… where do I go?”
CINDY THE SKULL — She shrugs again. “It’s not my problem, is it? Ask your partner, here. Or maybe you should take a hint and go back home to the farm.”
YOU — “I don’t know if I have a home… I think I lost it.”
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant’s frown deepens. He stares down at his boots rather than meet your or Cindy’s eye.
CINDY THE SKULL — A long, almost uncomfortable silence. Her eyes are hardening as they take you in— you and your bloodshot eyes, your slightly labored breathing, your clothes that are certainly too thin to keep you warm tonight.
EMPATHY — She feels sorry for you, and she resents herself for it.
CINDY THE SKULL — She lets out a long sigh, closing her eyes and shaking her head. “All right, piggy. Just quit looking at me all pitiful… You saw the foreclosed apartment in the hall, right? If you wait for the cleaning lady to go to sleep, and you don’t stay long, it’s not a bad place. Better than the trash, anyway.”
REACTION SPEED — She seems to regret it as soon as the words leave her mouth. She’s not thrilled at the idea of trusting your honor not to rat out or even arrest your fellow squatters. But it’s too late now.
SUGGESTION — Wait. Is it really that simple? What if she expects something in return for the information? Or she could be setting a trap for you!
YOU — “Hang on. What’s the catch?”
CINDY THE SKULL — A wry smile breaks out across her face. It almost looks pained. “No catch, officer. I’m no snitch. Nor a pig.”
RHETORIC — You’ve insulted her more deeply than she cares to let on. She helped you because she knows your struggles intimately. Struggles that have claimed the lives of people she cared about. But now you’ve reminded her of the difference between you: she calls you pig because you sold your humanity for the power to strip others of their own.
EMPATHY — She’s sad. She was born sad and she will die sad. You are the one making her sad.
YOU — “Hey, Cindy?”
CINDY THE SKULL — “What?”
“I’m sorry. Thank you for helping me.”
“You shouldn’t judge me. We’re the same. We do what it takes to survive. You have the Skulls, I have the RCM.”
“Can’t we just get along?”
“I’ll pay you back somehow. I’ll make things right.”
“I don’t want to be this kind of animal anymore.”
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant looks up at you, startled. Concerned, even. He almost looks as though he wants to say something, but nothing comes to him. He just stares at you, at a loss.
CINDY THE SKULL — She levels you with a steady gaze. Even without the coal dust, her eyes would look sunken into her wan face. If it weren’t for the roundness still clinging to her cheeks, she would have lost nearly all trace of her youth by now.
“I don’t think you even understand what kind of animal you are,” she says coolly.
ENCYCLOPEDIA — Homo sapien.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — A tiny, violent ape.
AUTHORITY — Predator.
HALF LIGHT — Prey.
VOLITION — You’re a human, Harry. Nothing more or less.
INLAND EMPIRE — The saddest and cruelest animal of them all.
#disco elysium#cindy the skull#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#i have a lot of feelings about cindy’s interactions w the player…#but anyway. this was inspired by me failing to earn enough money on day 2 to pay garte#and since i asked joyce for money on day one kim never sold his spinners for me#but like he does that to cover specifically the damages right. not for ur 20 real for the room#so he was comically uncaring about my plight LMFAO#even tho I the player knew that he could help me if he wanted bc he still had the spinners 😭😭😭#anyway this resulted in me panicking and swearing for quite some time bc joyce was gone for the night#and the pawn shop was closed#and eventually i just went and savescummed the check to beat up measurehead until i passed#just so that i could look around the harbor for money until i had enough to pay for the bed 😭#sorry kim for making you follow me around past 4 am but actually im not sorry#that’s what you get for almost letting me sleep in the garbage SNSGEJDHX
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
my only regret about becoming a lynx is losing the Fat Fucking Tail. miss that.
#I am sticking to the lynx but#you all almost had a dragon instead PUREY for the Fat Fucking Tail lmfao
110 notes
·
View notes
Note
*Traps howdy in a large plastic jar*
iykyk
#i had to think for a solid minute 'Should I Make This Joke'#yes. the answer is yes.#am i laughing too hard? maybe#i tried to ignore the question but i just... i cant i cant lmfao-#i was almost able to - i imagined gently releasing him#but then laughingstock brain activated and i pictured barnaby holding the jar and. well. again. if you know you know#i will say nothing more on the matter otherwise ill need to give this post the xxx tag#ahbkafjaflnjafnl IM SORRYYYYYY-#i mean uh fuck um#My Most Formal Apologies.#I Will Now Be Exiting Stage Left.#rambles from the bog#throttling myself while wheezing 'this is not that kind of blog this is not that kind of blog-'
166 notes
·
View notes
Text
they (somehow) survived the great war but couldn’t escape the homophobic 2000s :/
audio credits: remyhvdley (yt)
#sassy cordy edits#how did they both make it to the end of the show alive ahah#WE ALMOST HAD THE PERFECT AMBIGUOUS ENDING BUT NOOOO#ANYWAYS#my monthly post has arrived !!#fun fact i hated this one so much that i made 2 versions of it ahah (still can’t decide which one i like better lmfao)#but this one is a bit more … complete i guess? it’s a summary of their complex relationship in my eyes ahha#mcshep month#rodney mckay#john sheppard#mcshep#stargate atlantis#stargate edit#sga
202 notes
·
View notes
Text
There are no stars. There is no light. There will be no future. (Requested by @thediscoelysiumlesbian )
Alt text: Screencaps from Revolutionary Girl Utena with overlaid text. 1: A closeup of Anthy's eyes, hair down and no glasses, staring down Utena in the moment she discovers Akio abusing Anthy. Text: "Oh, yes."
2: A closeup of Utena's eyes, wide with shock, from the same scene. Text: "This is real darkness."
3: A framed photo of Akio and Anthy, half in shadow as the window shades rise to reveal the room. Text: "Real darkness has love for a face."
4: Anthy's silhouette, hair flying wildly, pierced by many blades. Text: "The first death is in the heart." End alt text.
#revolutionary girl utena#disco elysium#anthy#utena#akio#requests#csa tw#this one i had to think on for a long time#the thing about that quote from dora is that she mentions csa as not being true darkness#meanwhile the central thesis of rgu#is that domestic abuse and especially csa is one of the most devastating examples#of darkness that wears love for a face#i remember bristling at that quote when i first read it honestly lmfao#bc i was like why would you bring csa into this?#but i suppose it goes along w dolores dei being a sort of symbol of moralism#treating death and war and child molestation as extreme abstract concepts#and not the same realities that literally define almost every detail and interaction and character in this game#anyway ty for this request it gave me lots of food for thought!
223 notes
·
View notes
Text
It’s been over a year since I did their original tarot card and I was itching to improve it and see my progress.
Death: a card, when drawn upright, symbolizes change, new beginnings, and the end of stagnation.
Borderless piece and old version under the cut
#courier chaye#my art#ellis art#fallout new vegas#courier oc#courier six#death tarot#tarot#tarot cards#I have definitely improved a LOT.#also the last one was shortly after getting my old phone’s screen replaced before a tradein so it was freaking out#had to use the line tool for almost the whole piece and you can Tell lmfao
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
wanna get high and play with a cute girl on my lap while she's extra sensitive so bad. mouth at her neck, lick her jaw. rub her nipples, hear her gasp and clutch me. grind against her ass. keep her on the edge shaking and whimpering till I inevitably bend her over the nearest surface and fuck her so good she comes undone and can't do anything but moan and whine uncontrollably while she cums on my cock over and over again
#lesbian nsft#butch dom#few weeks ago got high n had sex for like 6 hours almost straight.#i was tired as shit the next day lmfao but it was fun so no regrets#weed lesbians i love you#raw post#drug ment
428 notes
·
View notes
Text
saiki is such a fucking loser when it comes to romance (and also in general shh) that no matter who it is hes trying to date, he ALWAYS waits for THEM to confess. he will NEVER be the one to confess first..
i dont think he even CONSIDERS the fact that he could confess first, even though he can read their mind and knows exactly how they feel about him.. he waits and waits for a confession and when he doesnt get it, he gets really frustrated and is like 'i guess they just arent serious about me 😒🙄' BRO YOU HAVENT CONFESSED EITHER ?? YOU HAVE THE CAPABILITIES TO DO IT TOO WHY ARE YOU A HYPOCRITE ??
#my agenda that kusuo is just a bratty girlfriend#kusuo with an UNREQUITED crush is just satousai like i dont even have to say it#he never thought of confessing to satou cuz he knew it wasnt requited so he didnt really think it mattered#which is also funny and related to this because he just never wants to be the one to pursue someone lmfao#'ugh when is he going to notice me' -guy preparing for his first queer heartbreak#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#kubosai#<- i think kuboyasu almost always confesses anyway so kusuo doesnt need to worry about this for long#but theyre both pathetic hopeless losers so theres a chance kusuo could get frustrated listening to him pine after him#thats a rare case that could happen with anyone tbh where kusuo MIGHT confess. or avoid them like the passive aggressive tsundere he is.#terusai#<- this one he also gets very very frustrated!! because koko is kinda the same way he is..#she also expects to be confessed to and he hears her think that and is sooo annoyed because absolutely NOT#haisai#<- i think if hairo realized he had a crush he would immediately confess BUT he and kusuo are aroace kings lmfao#so i think that both of them r kinda oblivious and hairo simply wouldnt realize it was a crush#stg one of their friends would have to step in and be like 'u guys r practically dating can u just kiss or something damn..'#merasai#<- ALSO BOTH AROACE AND WOULD BASICALLY BE DATING WAY BEFORE MERA EVEN KNEW SHE LIKED HIM#saikai#<- kusuo is on a MISSION with this one omg. he does everything in his power to make his feelings known without being TOO obvious#so that KAIDO will confess.. but kaido just gets awkward about it for a while.. kusuo does not realize what hes doing is called flirting..#saikechi#<- idk i feel like this would be complicated.. akechi wouldnt want to confess cuz he would b like well i know he knows..#and he would probably mention casually wheile hes talking and not expect kusuo to respond#so like.. he just wouldnt think kusuo likes him because kusuo never acknowledges it but its only cuz akechi hasnt really CONFESSED
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh no I smoked too much weed and gave myself zoomies both from the excitement from my new peak pro and the excitement from the new weed itself and def smoked way more than I should have and probs will continue to smoke more than I should because of this double dose of excitement until I finally just pass out after days of hardly sleeping recently lmao
but ANYWAYS before that happens !!! I currently have the strongest urge to go wreck people in fucking battlegrounds to level one of my assorted disc priests and because like …. ever since I got 100k honorable kills achieve, I’ve wanted that goddamn fucking ‘the Bloodthirsty’ title from the 250k honorable kills achieve and I was farming that before I stopped having the drive to game a few months back.
so let’s see how queues go at 2am on a fucking Wednesday morning, I wonder if I’ll give up before I find a bracket with fast pvp queues tonight tbh. it’s more likely I’ll end up pugging a raid on my mistweaver main if it takes too long to get into a battleground just to preoccupy myself for a bit and try to get a chance at trinkets and shit lmao
#this is huge tho I haven’t WANTED to game enough to drag my laptop out and play in MONTHS#I logged in for the first time in ages the other day and I had so much fun in my battlegrounds I didn’t even realize we were winning#I was just having a fucking blast being a healer and a menace because I’m playing a disc priest rn of course lmao#and now I want to game again so bad but like mindlessly and bgs are mindless to me I guess???#like they’re so easy and all muscle memory and hardly take any thought so I think I could function enough to fuck some people up for a bit#or raiding Amirdrassil on LFR or normal. also pretty mindless even when pugging groups and all that.#everything’s usually one shot one kill or like 2 shots per kill max because people learn from their mistakes !!!#but like as a healer I know my shit so it’s just mindless (except for Larodar ((MY BELOVED)) because I LOVE that fight and get super into it#his dialogue is just too fuckin good and the voice??? truly chefs kiss like perfect voice casting#almost as fantastic as Sire Denathrius tbh and that’s like the big vocally satisfying one for me LMAO#this tag rant went on a wild roller coaster what the fuck I am so sorry for anyone who read these#I’m trying to read them back and I can’t even understand my fucking thought process LMFAO
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Elquackity: you have no idea what you’ve done
q!Bad: elaborate?
ElQuackity: No.
??????????
#like what is Bad even supposed to do at that point lmfao#ElQs like ‘you’ve ruined everything’ no sir YOU ruined everything HE girlbossed your ass into the ground#the thing about q!Bad is that he’s distrusting and suspicious but he almost always gives second and third chances before he kicks your ass#elquackity had many opportunities to like. say literally anything. and Didnt so#get badboyhalo’ed fool#qsmp#q!badboyhalo#q!elquackity#elquackity#badboyhalo
92 notes
·
View notes
Photo
i’ve done it, i’ve drawn them
#south park#sp style#sp kyle#sp stan#kyle brovlofski#stan marsh#my art#digital art#im bad at captions please ignore me VGHKGGHF#you guys dont wanna know many times i had to adjust the faces on this piece it was driving me mad LMFAO#i think i worked on this for almost 6 or 7 hours god help me#i hate that this would work well with a charm god damn it
342 notes
·
View notes
Text
so I'm wearing my purple hoodie today and my friend greeted me by saying "Hi, Simon-Simon" and pointing at my hoodie and that was like the cutest thing ever 💜
#I can almost forgive her for having watched YR and NOT having had her life turnes around by it lmfao#but 💜💜💜#so sweet#simon.out.#simon eriksson#young royals
34 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
bandmail
Band Mail: A Macrocosm
areigen
your life is your own, ok?
thtupidity
Infinity Propaganda
control-delete-alt
These are Knot the Droids ...
areigen
your life is your own, ok?