#like. lady? Do you really think that a 120 year old will pay attention to you when he's in charge of an army
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In a universe in which Alina doesn't exist yet and Darkling takes another lover, how do you think Zoya would react?
I believe she would react, more or less, in the same way. Especially if the Darkling held a strong interest in her.
Zoya wanted to be the center of his attention, the apple of his eye. So any woman that had him would suffer from her scorn and hate.
#I just can't with Zoya 😭#like. lady? Do you really think that a 120 year old will pay attention to you when he's in charge of an army#responsible to lead the Grisha to battles and having so many troubles in his mind?#ma'am the world is at war and it doesn't revolve around you#anon asks#the darkling#zoya nazyalensky#shadow and bone#grishaverse#grishaverse trilogy#aleksander morozova
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My Little Brawler - Feysand Headcannon 2
I’ll just go ahead and preface this by saying it’s long as SHIT. I went a little crazy. But here’s the second headcannon for Feysand. Thank you for the love on the last one! Next one out tomorrow.
Synopsis: Feyre Archeron is a 31 year old researcher who has devoted her entire life to her work. Her dating history is a mess, from an ex-husband to one night stands. A serious relationship? Hell no.
Rhysand Turner is a Virginia-born quarterback living it up in a football-crazy city. He doesn’t date and sticks to dumb blondes who look good on his arm and think how far he can throw a football is better than sex. Marriage? Not in a million years.
________________________________________________________________
Feyre swung the lab door closed, locked it behind her, and headed toward the hospital exit.
“Calling it a night?” Howie, the night-shift security guard asked from behind his desk.
She glanced at her watch and winced. “More like a morning now, but yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
He laughed and went back to his crossword puzzle. Nothing interesting happened in the hospital this late at night outside of the ER, so Howie was basically only there for her. Feyre frequently was the last staff member to leave the place, something her coworkers never understood.
She came in early, left late, and worked holidays. To say she was married to her job would be an understatement.
Grabbing her keys and walking out to her car, she had to admit they had a point. She’d given up her entire life for her work, but she had no regrets.
She’d made countless breakthroughs in nuclear medicine and had changed the face of chemotherapy and radiation. It payed off every day when she heard from the oncologists that one of their patients was cancer free.
As she drove to her townhouse--only four minutes from the hospital--she wondered if it was strange she preferred to be alone.
Then she remembered how she’d ended up when she committed herself to a relationship and shook her head. If you can’t trust the man you’re married to, who can you trust? No one.
She didn’t miss being married. At all. She didn’t miss having to come home from a long day at work and muster up the energy to talk about whatever was bothering him.
She did miss sex, though. She never went out, never invited anyone over. It’d been so long since she’d been with a man, she was pretty sure she had cobwebs down there.
Ignoring that thought, Feyre walked through her front door, threw her keys on the kitchen table, and went to bed. She had to be in the hospital in four hours if she wanted to get ahead of her schedule.
_________________________________
Rhysand jogged off the field, grinning at the look on his coach’s face.
“If you’re in love with me, I don’t want to know,” he joked.
Coach Matthews was at least five inches shorter than Rhys, but he reached up and smacked the back of his head anyway. He wasn’t actually mad, though. There were about three people in the world who could get away with talking trash to Adrian Matthews, and Rhys happened to be one of them.
“Shut up, smartass. I’m just excited. If you play like this tomorrow, we’ll wi-”
Rhys cut him off. “Don’t jinx me.”
A raised eyebrow. “After all this time, you’re superstitious?”
“It could be my last game,” he said, ignoring the look on the man’s face. “I don’t need any bad luck.”
He’d never admit it, but losing tomorrow’s game was easily the scariest thing in Rhys’s life.
Talent wise, there was no one better than him. He wasn’t cocky, but he knew it. He had better stats, better knowledge of the game, better everything.
But, according to sports, Rhys was old as dirt.
No matter how good you are, football isn’t a lifetime sport. Even though thirty-eight would be young to almost anyone’s standards, network channels and reporters were all wondering how long he would push on.
The guys he was competing against were all in their twenties, young and fresh and without back pain. And knee pain. And-
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, idiot. No matter what happens tomorrow, you’ve had the most impressive career as a NFL quarterback in history. So get your head out of your old ass and play the game you know how to play.”
Rhys just laughed. “My old ass? What about you? When did you even sneak out of the retirement home?”
Before Matthews could attempt to kick his ass, a beefy hand smacked into Rhys’s back and Cassian--the other person allowed to talk shit to coach--said, “Oh, I see. You made a few good passes out there and now you’re over here drinking water and gossiping with coach like a couple old ladies. Cute.”
“Both of you, get your asses home and in bed,” the coach ordered, rolling his eyes. “I cannot believe I let myself draft two hard-headed, pain in the ass hillbillies,” he muttered, walking toward the other players.
“He’s just mad because he’s in love with you,” Cassian said, throwing a thick arm around Rhysand’s shoulders, and dragging him to the locker room.
Rhys pushed him off and laughed. “That’s exactly what I said.”
“So about tomorrow-”
“I swear to god if you mention the game one more time, I’ll tell everyone you wear women’s underwear when you play,” Rhys threatened, then ducked to avoid the helmet flying towards his head.
“Shut the fuck up, man! That was one time! And I wouldn’t have done it, but you made me watch Bull Durham and it seemed like a decent idea at the time. And I wasn’t even gonna talk about the game.”
Rhysand raised an eyebrow. If Cassian wasn’t talking about football, he was droning on about women, booze, or hunting. Sometimes a mixture. Before he could continue, Rhys made a bet it was women on his best friend’s mind this time.
“Anyway, me and Az were thinking we could go somewhere new tomorrow night. Regardless of how the score turns out.”
That caught his attention. The three of them had been friends since high school and had all played together till Azriel blew his knee out two years ago. They all lived in the same apartment complex still and got together almost every weekend. In all their time of friendship, they’d maybe gone to five bars. Once Cassian found a place and racked up enough of a tab, he stayed until they wouldn’t let him through the door anymore.
“Where?”
“There’s bar about twenty minutes from here. Az apparently knows the owner or something.” It made sense. After his injury, Azriel had gone into broadcasting and had made a ton of connections in the PR world.
“I don’t want to go anywhere crow-”
Cass cut him off. “He said it’s a small bar. No crowds.”
The one negative aspect of his life was the never-leaving pack of fans and paparazzi following him around. After the game tomorrow, it’d be hectic. He didn’t want to deal with that if they won, let alone if they lost.
Rhys shrugged. “Fine by me. Either way, I’ll be needing a lot of booze.”
“You’re so fucking dramatic man,” Cassian laughed. “It’s just a game.”
Rolling his eyes, “It’s the Super Bowl, idiot. It’s not just a game.”
“Okay,” his best friend and defensive tight end said lightly. “It’s a big game.”
As he thought about how a loss tomorrow could be the end of his career, Rhys could only nod and agree.
________________________________
Feyre walked through the front doors of the cancer wing and halted. John Weatherly, the Chief of Staff of the hospital--and not to mention a huge pain in her ass--stood at the threshold.
“You look annoyed,” she stated, ready for whatever lecture he was about to give her.
After all the time she’d worked for him, she’d never really gotten past her dislike of her boss. Or his misogynistic rants. Or the fact that he smelled like cigarettes. They worked in the cancer wing of the hospital, for crying out loud. And he had the nerve to smoke a cigarette every chance he got.
“I am,” he said, equally as blunt. “Are you aware you’ve worked at least 120 hours a week for the past two months?”
“Considering I log my own hours, yes.”
“That is a huge waste-”
“Are you aware that I’ve published three research articles during the past two months? Generating publicity, not to mention patients, for the hospital?”
“Considering I’m not an idiot, yes,” John snapped sourly. “But this isn’t about me. The board is implementing a new rule this week. No more work weeks over 100 hours.”
She opened her mouth to retort, but he held up a hand in annoyance. “Don’t bother. I already tried to tell them you practically live here. It’s not flexible for anyone.”
Feyre allowed herself to steam for a few moments before muttering, “Fine.” She tried to walk around him to the lab, but he stepped in her path.
“Since you’ve already worked over the limit, you’ll have to go home. Come back Tuesday.”
“Tuesday?!” she practically shouted. “Why not tomorrow? The time cards reset every week.”
“You’ve worked 115 hours this week. They told me to tell you specifically that if you want to continue to receive a paycheck from them, you will come back Tuesday.”
“This is so-”
“Have a nice two days off, Dr. Archeron.”
She couldn’t not work for two days. “What am I supposed to do all day? Just let me go get my paperwork, and I’ll work from home.”
“Feyre, I have specific orders from the hospital’s board to have the security guard escort you out if you try to go in the lab.”
Her mouth dropped open, but before she could tell him how ridiculous this was, he said, “Go home. Sleep. Watch the game.”
“Game? What game?”
It was his John’s turn to look shocked. “The Super Bowl is tonight. Did you really not know?”
“No, of course not. I don’t care about football.”
Her boss was silent, stuttered a few words, then said, “How do you not like football? You live in Boston! Rhysand Turner is practically a celebrity around here.”
She didn’t know why any medical professional would encourage grown men to smash into each other for sport, but kept that to herself. “Who is Rhysand Turner, exactly?”
“For a genius, you’re such an idiot,” he said bitterly. “He’s the quarterback about to win us the Super Bowl tonight. You should watch the game in your time off. Speaking of, leave. Now.”
“But-”
“Nope. Now.”
The urge to call him a jackass was so strong, she left before it slipped out. How ridiculous was this? She worked her ass off every day researching nuclear chemistry and the effects of chemotherapy in the body. It was important. Her work changed lives.
And they were telling her to go home and twiddle her thumbs. Or watch football.
She drove home angrily, wondering what on earth she would do with 48 hours of uninterrupted free time.
After finishing two loads of laundry, scrubbing her entire bathroom and kitchen, and grocery shopping, Feyre was bored. She tried to sit down and watch TV, but there was nothing on that interested her.
She flipped to the news, thinking she’d distract herself with politics. But no, everyone was talking about the game. Apparently, John was right. No one cared about anything except football today.
An idea popped in her head, and she smiled and picked up the phone.
“Finally!” her best friend shouted happily as she answered on the first ring. “I’ve been waiting for you to call; I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
“Hi, Mor,” she laughed. “I’m sorry it’s been so long. Work is-”
“-crazy, I know,” she finished her sentence. “What’s up?”
Trying not to sound bitter, Feyre said, “Well, I actually have today and tomorrow off, so I was wondering what you were doing tonight.”
A pause.
“You know I own a bar, right?” Mor asked, as if Feyre were dense.
“Yes, of course.”
Another pause, then, “And you know it’s Super Bowl Sunday, right? It’s a busy night for us. Well, as busy as a tiny ass bar in the suburbs can be.”
Feyre laughed. “Oh, no worries, I’ll see you some other-”
“Wait! Why don’t you come?”
“Oh... uh...” How could she get out of this? Fake illness?
A knowing town crept into Mor’s voice as she said, “Don’t even think about telling me you’re sick, bitch. You already said you don’t have anything to do tonight. Or tomorrow. Which means you can get drunk! Ooh, or laid!”
Feyre sighed. “Mor, I don’t want to watch a football game. And I definitely don’t want to get drunk.”
She could tell her friend was smiling as she said, “Just laid, then.”
Feyre rolled her eyes and stayed silent, trying not to think about how true that statement was.
“Fine. Come at like 11. It’ll be pretty empty by then. But you’re definitely drinking.”
She debated arguing, but Mor would likely show up and drag her out herself if she tried. “Fine. One drink.”
____________________________________________
Rhys couldn’t stop smiling as he drove himself and Cassian through the city in his truck.
“You know you’re a millionaire, right, Rhysie?” his best friend asked with a laugh.
He just rolled his eyes, having heard this argument at least 20 times. “Don’t hate on the truck. I’ve had her since senior year.”
“It’s rusting. You’re a millionaire. Buy a new one.”
“Nope.”
Cassian groaned. “Why not?”
“She’s been with me through every win, every loss, everything. You know I lost my-”
“Stop! You already told me, and I almost throw up every time I get in this ass-mobile.”
Rhys laughed and punched his shoulder, then said thoughtfully, “You know, I think it was right where you’re sitting.”
Cassian swore and scooted as close as he could get to the door.
“Don’t worry, you can get out. We’re here.”
As soon as he put the truck in park, Cassian jumped out of the cab and wiped the seat of his jeans off with his hand, making Rhys laugh.
He climbed out of the truck, his body still lined with adrenaline. He’d played his ass off, crushed the opponent, and carried his team to victory.
He supposed he had Cassian to thank, too, considering he’d also played his ass off and kept Rhys from getting pummeled.
Their success was echoing through the city on excited whispers. Both of them had already turned their phones off they were getting so many calls from team managers.
They walked into the wonderfully slow bar, nodded to the few people still around who luckily didn’t ask for pictures, and went to find Azriel.
He was sitting at the bar, chatting to the bartender. Even though the bartender was hands-down one of the most attractive women he’d ever seen, it was the woman near Azriel that gave Rhys pause.
Cassian saw the look on his face, smirked, and nodded toward the empty chair between Az and the girl.
A good end to a good night.
He winked, then slid in the chair, nodded to Az--who rolled his eyes--, and turned to the woman.
She had clear blue-gray eyes, dark blonde hair, and full lips. She was... exotic. Different.
He smiled confidently and said, “Hey. How you doing?”
It was a simple line, but one that worked countless times when paired with a southern accent.
He couldn’t tell if the look on her face was amusement or shock. “Where the hell are you from?”
That reaction was one he was used to, so he grinned and said, “Virginia.”
“What are you doing in Boston, then?”
He couldn’t stop his eyebrows from pulling together. She was in a sports bar, where his face had just been plastered on every TV for four hours, but she didn’t know who he was? “Work,” he said simply.
Rhys could feel his best friends’ eyes on him, but he ignored them. “So, what’s your-”
The girl turned to the bartender, ignoring him completely, and said, “Mor, I’m going to make a call.” She cut her eyes toward the men around her and murmured, “Watch my drink.”
Every single one of their eyebrows shot up. Did they look that much like criminals? Sure, they wore a lot of black, but every one of them were multi-millionaires. Did he come off like a date-raper or something?
The bartender, Mor apparently, rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t take it personally. Even balls to the wall drunk, she’s cautious.”
Rhys could tell there was more to that story but shrugged and asked for a beer.
Mor slid it across the counter and smiled knowingly. “She’s pretty, right?”
He just turned to Azriel and asked, “How have you been, man? Did you report the game?”
“Yeah, they had me follow your stats the whole time. Boring shit,” he replied, laughing.
“I bet you could hardly talk fast enough.”
“Cocky bastard,” Cassian muttered.
Azriel nodded to the bartender and said, “This is Mor, by the way. I’ve known her since I left the NFL. Mor, this--as I’m sure you know--is Rhysand and Cassian, although I call them Dumbass 1 and 2.”
“You’re a funny, funny man,” Rhys muttered.
Mor’s friend came back and slid into her seat. Mor put another drink on the counter. The woman raised an eyebrow. “I said one drink, Morrigan.”
“Morrigan? Jesus, you’re already drunk aren’t you?”
Before she could respond, Az said, “Mor, perhaps you’d like to introduce the guys to your friend?”
She smiled and said, “Guys, this is Feyre Archeron, my very best friend who loves me so much she’ll stay and have another drink.”
“Since you’re buying,” Feyre said sweetly, picking the drink up. “And because I know you’ll make me feel bad about leaving so soon.”
Cassian asked, his accent even thicker than Rhys’s, “Why the bad mood, gorgeous?”
She turned and leveled a look at him. “I’d rather be doing something else.”
Rhys rolled his eyes as his best friend leaned down towards the woman and smiled slowly. “Well, you should’ve told me sooner. I’d be glad to do something else with you, baby.”
Azriel and Rhys both looked at each other and shook their heads. Cassian flirted with everyone. It drove them insane, but it was at least predictable.
The woman unlucky enough to have his current affections set her drink down with a little too much aggression, making Rhys chuckle. “What’s your name?”
“Cassian,” he replied confidently.
“Cassian, believe me when I tell you I have absolutely no interest in having sex with you. Leave me alone and go shook a chicken or something.”
The look on Cassian’s face was priceless, and Rhys bit his lip to keep his laugh in. Like Rhys, he was used to women being very... open to his suggestions.
Before Cass could even retort, the woman looked to her friend and asked, “Who the hell are these guys? Your friends?”
Mor pointed to Azriel and responded, “He is my friend. Those two rednecks,” she jerked her head toward Rhys and Cassian, “I don’t vouch for.”
Rhys put a hand to his chest in mock hurt. “We’re Azriel’s friends, which makes us pre-vouched.” He turned to Feyre and smiled. “You single?”
________________________________________
“No,” Feyre said at the exact same time Mor yelled, “Yes!”
The man next to her smiled smugly. “Since you’re single, let me buy you another drink.” She opened her mouth, but he said quickly, “Say yes. It’s just one drink, darling.”
His accent was so ridiculous, it sounded like he should be riding on the back of a horse in cowboy boots and a hat.
“I said I’d have one drink,” she stated to Mor. “I’ve had two. I’m going home.”
“Of course you are.” Her best friend sighed dramatically. “You don’t care about me at all, do you? I haven’t seen you in a month, and you come to my bar and stay for all of ten minutes-”
“Mor-”
“Then try to leave, and I probably won’t see you for another-”
Feyre gave in with a huff. “Oh, my god, fine! I’ll stay. You’re so damn dramatic.”
Her best friend jumped up and down like a toddler, clapping her hands stupidly.
“Now I don’t have an excuse, do I?” She tried not to roll her eyes at how big Rhysand’s smile grin grew.
“Don’t get so excited. I’m just using you for liquor.”
“Fine by me,” he replied smoothly. “I’m trying to get you drunk.”
Despite herself, she laughed. She wasn’t used to such honesty. She definitely wasn’t going home with the guy, but she couldn’t deny how insanely attractive he was to her. The kind of attractive that drove women crazy.
He was so tall, he towered over her even sitting down. He had dark hair, tan skin, and the most unique shade of eye color. They seemed almost purple and practically glowed as they raked over her.
She turned to Mor and gestured for another drink. “You associate yourself with the strangest people.”
Mor just shrugged.
“So, what do all do for work?” she asked the men around her, trying to make conversation.
Rhys quickly said, “We’re- uh- in sports.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he didn’t give her a chance to ask any more questions. “What about you?”
She saw Mor roll her eyes, but she kept it simple as she said, “I’m a scientist.”
“That explains it,” Cassian said with a laugh.
This man had a special talent for pushing peoples’ buttons, it seemed.
She turned to him and narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to go ahead and guess that you ‘being in sports’ means you’re a football player, since everyone in this city is so obsessed with the sport. And you know what? Between the constant head trauma and the accent...” She looked him up and down with narrowed eyes, then said sweetly, “It explains a lot.”
Rhysand launched into a coughing fit. She saw Azriel glance towards Mor, but her best friend just shrugged and said, “Not a big football fan.”
“We can tell,” Cassian muttered.
“What kind of scientist are you?” Rhys asked, ignoring his friend.
Mor sighed, but Feyre said, “It’s complicated, but I’m basically a nuclear chemistry-”
“It is boring as hell, I assure you all,” Mor cut in.
Feyre rolled her eyes and sipped her drink.
Mor got a strange look on her face, bent down, and grabbed a bottle of tequila. “Who wants a shot?”
All three men at the bar raised their hand. Feyre just rolled her eyes. Looks like it was going to be a long night.
_____________________________________
As Feyre got up to use the bathroom, ignoring all of their taunts about having a small bladder, the bartender looked at Rhys and waggled her eyebrows.
“What?”
“Oh, we’re going to act like you weren’t just eyeing my best-friend’s ass?” She laughed, then said, “Feyre.”
“What about Feyre?” he said, keeping his voice neutral.
He liked her, sure. Over the past couple hours, she’d loosened up around him. She was... funny. And smart. And sarcastic.
And yeah, she was beautiful as all hell. He’d love to take her home, but... he wasn’t a relationship guy. Football took all of his time, and he traveled practically every weekend. The women he slept with were all young and didn’t care about anything other than his latest game.
Feyre was different.
“You like her, don’t you?” The bartender was nosy, that was for sure.
“She’s... serious.”
Mor raised her eyebrows, clearly waiting for him to continue, so he said, “I don’t date. And Feyre is... serious. She probably wants a relationship and marriage and all sorts of shit-”
“You know,” Mor interrupted, “I thought people were crazy for saying a southern accent makes people stupid. But you have got to be one of the biggest idiots I’ve ever met if you think that girl wants a relationship.”
“What?”
“She works over fifteen hours a day. Spends all her time in a hospital with nerds looking in a microscope. She wants nothing to do with a relationship, let alone marriage. Trust me.”
“Oh.”
The woman rolled her eyes and nodded to where Feyre was walking back to them.
Before she made it to the bar, he turned to Cassian and said quietly, “Get a ride back with Az.”
“Gladly. I hate that truck.”
He glanced toward Feyre and muttered, “Now, idiot.”
Cassian, brilliant actor he was, yawned obnoxiously and said, “Well. I’m gonna hit the hay.” He winked at Feyre. “It was nice meeting you, honey. Call me if you ever need some southern hospitality.”
She shook her head but a smile ghosted on her lips.
“I’ll refrain from the innuendo, but it was nice meeting you, too,” Azriel said to Feyre.
Mor followed the two of them toward the exit to say goodbye.
“You’ve had too much to drink to drive home,” Rhys stated as soon as they were alone. Feyre laughed, clearly onto his game.
He rose and extended a hand. “Come on. I’ll drive you back. I only had one drink.”
“Is this your version of southern hospitality?” she asked.
“Maybe.”
She seemed to consider this, then murmured, “It’s very different from Cassian’s.”
Rhys smiled. “I’d be happy to show you that version. Let me drive you home.”
“I live close to here,” she laughed. “I’m walking.”
He tried not to be too disappointed. The odds of her taking him home were slim anyway-
She slid off the stool and put a hand on his arm. “But Boston can be a dangerous city. Come with?”
_____________________________________________________
Rhysand got up from his seat and threw an arm around her shoulders. “Lead the way, darling.”
“You really have to stop calling me that. You sound ridiculous.”
She didn’t really mean it, though. His accent was... different. Sexy. He was sexy. Something he was most definitely aware of, but Feyre currently didn’t care.
Cobwebs.
He was funny and seemed nice enough and...
She ignored Mor’s knowing smile as they left, telling her she’d call her later.
“I have a feeling you’ll be busy,” she said knowingly.
She ignored that, too.
As they started the short walk toward Feyre’s townhouse, his arm still slung across her shoulders, she asked, “So, did you win tonight?”
She could feel his chest rumble as he laughed. “Yeah, we won.”
“And you played the...”
“Steelers.”
“Right. Congratulations, then.”
He seemed to think her lack of football-knowledge was amusing. “Why the hell do you live in Boston?” he asked with a smile.
She froze.
“What do you mean?” she said, trying to be casual.
She led them around a corner that led to her block.
“You hate football. You don’t like crowds. You could probably work anywhere. Why not live somewhere else?”
They walked up to her house, and she answered simply, “I moved here to do my PhD at Harvard, and they offered me a job. Made sense.”
“And do you like it here?” he asked, eyebrows raised.
She smiled, unlocked her door, and replied, “Ask me in an hour.”
He mirrored her grin, then pushed her by the shoulders through the door. “Give me two, and it’ll be your favorite place in the world.”
Feyre laughed, locked the door, then turned to him. Leaning against the door, she looked him up and down and muttered, “Clocks ticking, Rhysand.”
________________________________________________________
As Rhys opened his eyes, he was wonderfully aware of the weight atop him.
The naked weight.
Blowing Feyre’s hair out of his face, he smiled as she murmured something in her sleep. She was probably tired.
They hadn’t gotten much sleep.
Given how cautious she was when they’d first met, he’d half expected her to kick him out pretty early. Needless to say, he’d been pleasantly surprised.
When the feeling of her on top of him grew to be too tempting, he ran his fingers through her hair and murmured her name.
She shook her head, making him grin.
His fingers drifted over her back and he loved the way she felt in his arms. After a minute, she turned her head, chin resting on his chest, and looked up at him.
“Good morning,” she said simply.
He just pulled her up to him, pressing his lips to hers. She smiled against him, legs coming up to straddle his waist.
Rhys took in their position and smiled, leaning up to kiss his way up her neck. His lips brushed her ear as he whispered, “Cowgirl’s your favorite position isn’t it? And you say I’m country.”
He snickered, proud of his joke, then practically choked on the sound as she slid herself onto him. “Shit, Feyre.”
"No more jokes, Rhysand?” she murmured, rocking her hips slowly.
“Just Rhys,” he panted. He leaned forward to take one of her breasts into his mouth, and she gasped, the sound music to his ears.
“Rhys,” she moaned, fingers digging into his back.
“Yes, Feyre?” He gripped her hips to keep her still as he asked, “Do you need something?”
She narrowed her eyes at him, and he tried not to grin.
“I said ‘Good morning.’ Don’t make me liar.”
This woman would be the death of him. He laughed and released her hips, reveling in how she responded to every movement, every touch.
She picked up the pace, and Rhys just sat there with his teeth gritted and tried not to ruin the moment for both of them.
He could tell when she was close, her legs tightening around him, voice shaking as she called out his name. He pulled her hair, kissing up her exposed neck and across her jaw to her ear.
“Come for me, Feyre darling,” he whispered, pulling on the shell with his teeth.
She moaned, falling apart in his arms, and Rhys had to use sheer will to wait until she was done to finish.
This woman... was the definition of seduction. Even after a whole night together, he couldn’t get enough.
As they came down together, he looked at her and smirked. “Good morning.”
She smiled and kissed him, biting his lips gently. Even though he’d just had her, his body was ready for more.
He was about to flip them over when she ruined the moment and said, “You have to leave.”
She climbed off him, and he watched with amusement as she sprung from the bed, ripped the sheet off of him, and started pacing around the room.
She found his pants at him and threw them at him. “I’m serious, Rhys. I have to... do stuff.”
He ignored the clothes on his chest. They were both completely naked, and if he had anything to say about it, they’d stay that way for a while. “Like what? You told Mor you have the day off.”
“I do, but-”
“Then come here.”
She crossed her arms. “Rhysand.”
He sat up and extended a hand. “Just shut up and come here. I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”
_________________________________________________________
Oh, I’m sure you will, Feyre thought as she rolled her eyes and took his hand.
Then gasped as he used the other hand to rip the sheet off her and throw her on her bed.
She barely had time to process before he was on top of her, pressing kisses across her chest, down her stomach. Further.
Sweet Jesus, she thought. The man hadn’t let her sleep more than two hours last night. Not that she was complaining. The cobwebs were completely gone, that was for sure.
A moan escaped her lips as his teeth scraped her thigh, and he chuckled. She was about to flick his shoulder, but then his lips slid higher, and every thought emptied our of her head.
She couldn’t keep herself still as he kissed her, so he held her hips with both hands.
Hers found themselves in his hair and she pulled as he ran his tongue up her center.
“Rhys, baby,” she panted. She didn’t care how she sounded. Didn’t care about anything but the sight of his head buried between her legs.
She didn’t know if it was because she was out of practice or because he was some sort of sex god, but she was already close. Again.
By the time she came, her entire body was limp with pleasure and she was close to seeing stars.
When she opened her eyes, he was above her, smirking like a cat.
He leaned down to kiss her, but she flicked his nose in annoyance.
“If you try and fuck me again before I get some food, I’ll strangle you.”
Ignoring the warning, he buried his head in her neck and tugged on her earlobe with his teeth. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Feyre darling.”
She laughed against her better judgement, but pushed his shoulders until he let her up. If she didn’t eat something, she might pass out when they went again.
She grabbed his t-shirt from last night and threw it on as she walked to her kitchen. It came down to practically her knees, making her look ridiculous, but she didn’t care. It was soft and big and smelled like him.
“Pancakes?” she asked, turning around to catch him looking at her in amusement. At what she was wearing.
She raised an eyebrow, daring him to say something.
“Pancakes would be great.”
Feyre ignored the look in his eyes and started cooking. And kept ignoring it as he watched.
Every time she looked at him, he looked like he was five seconds away from throwing her over his shoulder and dragging her back to bed.
The idea of messing with him a little more was too tempting to ignore.
“Close your eyes,” she ordered secretively, reaching into her fridge.
He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but gave in when she raised her eyebrows.
She used a finger to tip his head backward, then whispered, “Open your mouth.”
His lips curved into a smile, then opened. She took the can of Ready Whip and sprayed some whip cream in his mouth, laughing as his purple eyes shot open, full of amusement.
“Cute,” he muttered, swallowing the whip cream.
She leaned in and licked some of the remainder off his bottom lip. He froze, then reached for her. Before he could get those arms around her, she walked to the stove and took the pancakes off.
Sliding an unhealthy amount toward him, she said, “Eat your breakfast, dear.”
Rhys gave her an annoyingly perfect smile and devoured the food. She looked at him as he ate, wondering how he looked like a Greek god when he ate like... that.
He looked up as he finished and laughed at the look on her face. “Baby, don’t invite a football player over if you don’t expect him to eat all your food.”
She took their plates and stuck them in the sink. When she turned around, he immediately strode over and grabbed her face, pulling her lips to his.
He kissed her thoroughly, then pulled back far enough to say, “Meet me in your bedroom.” Another kiss. “And Feyre? Bring that whip cream.”
__________________________________________________________
By the time Rhysand left, Feyre could hardly stand up. She had no idea how she was going to make it through her shift tomorrow, given that she was so exhausted she could sleep probably for a day straight.
That’s when she realized that for the first time in her career, she didn’t want to go to work. She wanted to call Rhysand and tell him to come back.
That’s not an option.
A relationship was out of the question. It’d be cruel to him to invite him back, knowing it would never go anywhere. For all she knew, he was trying to settle down. With a nice girl who’d give up her life to have his babies and be a football wife.
Hell no.
As she got out of the shower, giggling at how shaky her legs were, she told herself to forget him.
But when the phone rang, she was surprisingly disappointed when she looked at the caller id and saw it wasn’t him.
As soon as she picked up, Mor practically yelled, “How was it?!”
“How was what, Mor?”
“The sex last night, idiot. Was it good? I bet it was good. You don’t look like that and not have a seriously huge-”
“Mor! Calm down.”
She could tell her best friend was enjoying this way too much. “I’ll calm down when you tell me. Everything.”
Feyre laughed, then gave in and asked, “What do you want to know?”
“How long did he stay? Oh, you made him walk back to his truck in the middle of the night, didn’t you? Mean woman.”
When she didn’t respond, Mor pushed, “Unless you didn’t. When did he leave, Feyre? Hm?”
“An hour ago,” she admitted.
The howl that Mor let out was practically inhuman. “Oh my god! You nasty bitch! Or, wait. Is he the nasty bitch?”
Feyre laughed. “You have no idea.”
“I cannot believe you let him stay all day. He must be good. He’s good isn’t he?”
She didn’t have to think back to remember the answer to that question. “You have no idea,” she repeated.
Mor laughed. “I’m so happy for you. Are you seeing him again?”
“No, probably not.”
She stopped laughing. “And why the hell not?”
“I don’t date. It wouldn’t be fair to him to keep sleeping with him and lead him on-”
“You’re both idiots.”
That stopped her. “What?”
Mor sighed on the other end of the call. “He doesn’t date. At all. He’s seen with 20 year old blondes who probably don’t know their head from their ass. You don’t have to worry about him trying to tie you down.”
“Oh,” she said stupidly.
Of course he wasn’t the dating type. He was a professional athlete. Women probably threw themselves at him.
“For someone so smart, you really are an idiot.”
“You have a point. Look, I have to go. I’ll call you later.” It was only eight PM, but she could hardly keep her eyes open.
“Worn out, aren’t you?” Mor asked in a knowing voice.
“Good night, Morrigan.”
____________________________________________________________
Rhys wasn’t surprised to see Azriel and Cassian in his apartment when he got back the next day.
“You dirty dog,” Cassian said smugly, throwing a pillow at his head.
Rhys smiled and told him to shut his fat mouth. “What are you idiots doing here? Get evicted?”
“Waiting on your ass,” Azriel said. “We’re going out.”
“Not everyone got laid last night,” Cassian said sourly. “Ruined a good win.”
Az and Rhys both ignored him. “Wanna come?”
“I’m gonna crash, actually. I have an early meeting tomorrow with coach.” It was an excuse; he’d barely made it home without falling asleep at the wheel.
“Mmhm, an early meeting with coach,” Cassian said knowingly. “More like a late night with a pretty blonde.”
Rhysand just winked and said, “We made sure to avoid your seat in the truck.”
“Disgusting,” his best friend said bitterly as the pair walked toward the door. “I hate that truck.”
As soon as the door swung close behind them, Rhys showered and passed out.
_______________________________________________________
Three days later, Rhys was watching highlights from the game when his phone rang. He smiled as he saw the caller ID.
“Unless the hospital is calling to tell me I’m dying,” he said as he picked up, “I’m going to assume this is Miss Feyre Archeron.”
“Wow, an athlete with a brain,” the sarcasm flowed through the line clearly.
“I’m a package deal, baby. So, what’s up?” If this was a booty call, he’d make her say it. He’d definitely give in, but he’d make her ask first.
“I don’t date,” she blurted suddenly.
He paused, then said, “Me either.”
“Okay.”
He didn’t know what to say, so he just mimicked, “Okay.”
“Then come over.”
Rhysand smiled, looking at his watch. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
_____________________________________________________
Two months later, they’d spent practically every night together. Either he’d stay at her house and get kicked out at the ass crack of dawn when she left for work, or she’d stay with him and he’d wake up alone.
On the rare days her boss forbade her from working, they’d spend all day together, running errands, cooking, fooling around. Hell, she’d even come to one of his football practices. “Out of pure boredom,” she’d claimed.
He’d never tell her, but seeing her had become the best part of his day.
Sure, he’d resigned his contract for the next year to keep his dream job, but even that paled in comparison to her coming over. He’d started to depend on her. He’d started to care about her.
Only Cassian--who gave him shit about it daily--knew. And had been told to keep his mouth shut about it.
Because he knew that as soon as he told Feyre, she’d bolt. He just had no idea why.
Sure, he’d said he didn’t date. He was thirty-eight and had a terrible relationship track record, having only had a handful of serious ones. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t try, right?
He’d never felt like this before... never been so desperate to spend time with someone. And it wasn’t just the sex like he’d thought for the first few weeks.
Because even when they weren’t having sex, he wanted to be around her. Wanted to hear her laugh, the one she let out when he surprised her or she made fun of his accent. Wanted to see her smile. Wanted to see her asleep in his bed, wearing his t-shirt.
He wanted her.
Ridiculous.
The first woman to openly not want a relationship with him, he can’t get out of his mind.
Snapping out of his thoughts, he noticed her staring up at him. “What?” he asked, worried everything he’d been thinking was written on his face.
“Nothing,” she said for the fifth time, stifling a giggle.
He rolled his eyes. “Just say it.”
“I cannot believe Dirty Dancing is your favorite movie!” She exploded, gesturing to the screen as if he were blind. “You’re a football player.”
“Which means I can’t have a good taste in movies?”
She shrugged. “It’s just not what I was expecting when you suggested we watch a movie. I figured you just wanted to come out here and have sex again.”
He grinned. “I did that for your sake. I figured if we stayed in bed any longer, you wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
With her head on a pillow in his lap, she looked completely adorable as she looked up and stuck her tongue out at him. “How considerate.”
“Southern hospitality knows no limits.”
As they watched the movie, Rhys couldn’t help but sneak glances at her. She was... distracting. The ocean eyes, full mouth, and delicate features were pretty much a constant distraction for him.
When the final scene started playing out, Rhys grinned like an idiot and said, “Dance with me, Feyre Archeron.”
“What?”
“Come on. I wanna show you something.” He took her hand, hauled her off the couch, and took her to the biggest open space in his apartment.
He put his hands on her shoulders and told her to stay put, then walked to the other side of the room.
“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” she said immediately, realizing what he had planned. “Absolutely not.”
Rhysand laughed and said, “Run and jump.”
“Hell no! You’ll drop me.” She crossed her arms and stayed put.
He rolled his eyes. “I promise I won’t drop you. You’re about a hundred pounds soaking wet.”
“No.”
“Chicken.”
“Excuse me?” she asked incredulously. “You seriously think that’s going to work on me?”
“Yep.”
“You’re right,” she admitted, barely giving him any time to prepare as she ran toward him, yelped, and jumped.
His hands wrapped around her waist as he lifted her up above his shoulders. She hollered like a wounded cat, but she stayed in the air and lifted her legs as he spun her around slowly.
She giggled as he held her up, and the sound was so adorable that as he let her down, he slowly dipped her. Her hair brushed the floor as he held her, wrapped his arms around her, and pressed a kiss to her lips.
He could tell she was surprised when she froze, but then she melted into him.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him close and opened her mouth for him. It was like it was the first time they’d kissed, and he couldn’t get enough. He kissed her like his life depended on it, and she responded to every movement. She sighed into his mouth and he drank the sound in.
When he finally brought her back up and pulled away, she had tears in her eyes.
“What?” he asked, concerned.
Feyre’s brow was creased as she brought a hand to her mouth. “I have to go,” she whispered.
“Feyre.”
She paced around his apartment, picking up her clothes and throwing them on as she went. “I have an early morning tomorrow.”
“You always have an early morning. What’s wrong?”
She pulled her boots on, zipped her jacket, and smiled tightly. “Nothing’s wrong. I’ll... see you later.”
He didn’t have time to say anything before she sped out the door.
Shit.
______________________________________________________
“He kissed me,” she said as soon as Mor answered the phone.
A pause. “He hasn’t kissed you before?”
Feyre sped down the road to her house, explaining, “Of course he’s kissed me. But this was different. He dipped me, Mor. Like actual dipping. And he kissed me. Not to get in my pants, but just because. Like he couldn’t stop himself.”
“Oh. You think he has feelings for you?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t want to find out.” This was the last thing she needed. The past month had been good. So good.
But it had to end. She didn’t want a relationship... even if the idea of never seeing him again hurt so much she couldn’t breathe.
He’d become someone to her in the two months they’d spent together. And even though it’d hurt like hell, she had to cut it off. Before it got worse.
“Feyre-”
“Don’t ‘Feyre’ me. I’m fine.”
Her best friend didn’t let up. “No, you’re not. Ever since Tamlin, ever since that night, you haven’t been fine.”
“Stop talking. I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Of course you don’t.”
“Mor-”
“He hurt you, and now you don’t trust men. You got freaked out tonight because this thing with Rhysand could be real, and you’re scared. You’re scared if you let yourself love him, he’ll hurt you.”
Feyre suddenly yelled, “Wouldn’t you be?”
The line went silent, so she continued, “Yeah, I’m fucked up because of my marriage. It’s pretty easy to figure out. But wouldn’t you be? I was with Tamlin for eight years! Did you know that after hearing your worthless and pathetic and that you deserve what happens to you for so long, you start to believe it? So unless you’ve dealt with that for eight years and been trapped in a marriage to someone like that for eight years, don’t you dare bring it up to me. I have to go.”
She didn’t give Mor a chance to respond as she hung up.
She pulled into her driveway, took a deep breath and told herself the tears flowing down her cheeks were from her fight with Mor.
_______________________________________________________
“We’re closed,” Mor yelled as Rhys walked in the bar, then looked up and froze. “Oh.”
“Tell me, Mor. Tell me what happened to her.” He knew there was a reason she’d been freaked out after he kissed her. He just didn’t know what it was.
“To who?”
He came and sat in one of the bar stools, leveling a look at her. “To Feyre. Why did me kissing her send her running for the hills? I know she told you. She hasn’t answered my calls in six days.”
She shrugged, trying to make herself look casual. “Maybe she’s just not into you.”
“She’s into me.”
Mor snapped, “Maybe she’s not.”
His eyes softened, and she knew he saw it for the lie it was. “What happened to her?”
He could tell she was struggling with not telling him. She might not. But he wanted to fight for her. Wanted to make her happy. He just had to know how.
She took a deep breath and said, “Feyre and I used to live in New York, you know. That’s where we’re from. And Feyre was married.”
He nodded for her to continue.
“They got married young, and he... changed. He... just.. he was so angry. All the time.” She took a shaky breath.
“At first, I didn’t notice it. I didn’t see that anything was wrong. But one night, about five years into their marriage, I went to their apartment for dinner, and I saw that she had makeup on her cheek. Not a lot, but... like she was covering something up.” A tear that rolled down her cheek.
“And he saw. That bastard saw me notice it.” She wiped her cheeks, trying to compose herself. “And I didn’t see her for three years. He wouldn’t let her go anywhere besides work. And he hardly let that happen.”
Rhys closed his eyes sadly, but she continued. “I didn’t see my best friend for three years. Until she showed up in the emergency room.”
His eyes snapped open.
“I’m her emergency contact. I don’t know why she never changed it when she got married, but she didn’t. So I got the call, and drove to the hospital, and she was-”
She swallowed a sob. “She was in a coma for two days.”
Mor cleared her throat. “When she woke up, I don’t know how to describe it. She was... different. I helped her divorce him and get a restraining order, but it wasn’t easy. He controlled all her shit. Bank accounts, everything. She was never the same. We left, packed up, and moved to Boston together. She didn’t want him to know where she lived. I think... sometime I think she’s still scared he’ll track her down.”
“It took her three years to even go on a date. Another to have sex. She says she’s fine, but ever since that night, she won’t let herself actually let anyone in her life. She’s always been a workaholic, but after what happened... I don’t know. It’s like moving on, having a life, makes her remember her life before.”
Mor sobbed, “And I don’t know how to help her. Because he’s a cop, you know. That’s why it was so hard for her to leave him. We had to go to the freaking governor to get the restraining order.”
A sob wracked her body, so Rhys leaned across the bar and pulled her into a hug. It made sense. Why him showing any sort of feelings freaked her out. Why she’d been cautious around him, Cassian, and Az when they’d first met. Why she didn’t want a relationship with him.
But it didn’t mean he couldn’t fight for her. That he couldn’t tell her that he’d never hurt her.
“Mor,” he said softly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
She pulled back and wiped her eyes. “Well, now you do.”
“I want to be with her.”
She nodded, and smiled sadly. “I know.”
“And she wants to be with me, too.”
Mor nodded again. “Go get your girl, Rhysand. But, just be careful. And I swear to God, if you’re anything like him-”
“I’m not,” he interjected.
“-I’ll shoot you. I’m not making the same mistake twice.”
“I’m never going to hurt her. You can count on that. Do you think she’s still at the hospital? If she’s not going to answer the phone, I’m gonna track her ass down.”
________________________________________________________
Feyre scribbled down her note, then peered back into the microscope. She knew it was late, but it’s not like she had anywhere to be. The thought sent a pang through her chest, but she ignored it.
She was so distracted thinking about how big of a mess she was that she didn’t hear him come in the lab.
“Feyre,” a familiar male voice said from behind her.
She spun around and opened her mouth to scream, but he was faster. She cried out as his fist connected with her ribs, but he stifled the noise when he slapped a hand over her mouth and shoved her against the door.
She tried to swing a fist toward him, but he pinned her arms against the door.
“It’s been a long time,” Tamlin said, smiling. “It took me a long time to track you down. You know how I found you? Paparazzi posted a picture of you leaving some football player’s apartment at three in the morning. Little whore.”
She whimpered as he squeezed her jaw.
“So I came to see you. At first, I wanted to punish you. You were my wife. Mine. And then you go and divorce me. For no reason. I wanted to know why.”
Howie, she thought desperately. If she could signal Howie, he’d come and save her.
She ignored what he was saying, blocked it out, and bit his hand as hard as she could.
Tamlin jumped back with a surprised yelp and she barely had a chance to scream before his fist connected with her eye. She fell to the ground and he kicked her in the side, making her curl into a ball.
“You bitch! Why are you screaming? If you’re trying to get that fat security guard, he can’t hear you.”
No one’s coming. A tear ran down her cheek onto the floor.
“Now, as I was saying,” he continued as if nothing had happened. “At first, I wanted to punish you. I had it all planned out.”
He knelt on the floor, brushing the hair off her cheek.
“But then I realized something. I realized you ruined my life. You told everyone I worked with, hell you told the governor, that I abused you. You got me kicked off the force.”
“Why are you here? What do you want?”
Please leave please leave me alone-
“I want you to suffer for what you did-”
“I do-”
Her cheek stung as a palm connected with it, making her cry out.
“Do not interrupt me again.” His voice was so cold, so calculating. “I want you to suffer. I want you to lose everything, like I did. But the only thing you ever cared about is work. And I couldn’t get you fired. No, you’re too good at your job.”
She shook with fear as he smiled down at her.
“But then I thought, if the job won’t lose you, you can lose the job.”
He ran a thumb over her lip, and she was paralyzed with fear when she realized the bitter taste in her mouth was gas.
“What did you do?” she asked softly.
His fist closed around her throat. She clawed at his hand, kicked at him, tried everything, but she was stuck. It had never mattered how hard she fought.
When her vision started to fade, he let go.
“Don’t question me,” he snapped as Feyre hauled oxygen into her burning lungs.
He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a lighter, grinning down at her.
Feyre’s stomach bottomed out.
She had to think, had to do something. Or else she was going to die in here.
“You were so consumed by your work, you didn’t even smell the gas I lined this fucking room with. Always so distracted by your work.”
He laughed softly, “And now you’ll burn with it.”
He flicked the lighter open, and time seemed to stand still. Feyre didn’t let herself hesitate as she reached onto the counter, grabbed the beaker she knew was sitting there, and broke it over Tamlin’s head.
He swore and closed the lighter, then swung at her. She rolled away from him, placing a kick in between his legs that had him gasping for air.
She got up and sprinted for the door. Her fingers were closing around the handle when he caught up to her, grabbing her head and slamming her face into the metal door frame.
Feyre sank to the floor, and Tamlin knelt in front of her. She tasted blood, felt it running down her face, and knew from experience her nose was broken.
As he punched her in the stomach, she could tell she’d have a ruptured spleen.
He was still dripping wet from the beaker, but he leaned close and laughed.
He opened the lighter close to her face, the heat warming her skin.
“You always were a fighter.”
This is it. If she didn’t fight now, it was over. He’d drop that lighter, and they’d both go up in flames. Together at last.
Gritting her teeth, she told herself she wasn’t going to die here tonight. She was going to live.
She was going to kill her ex-husband.
Bringing her knees close, she rallied her strength and kicked his chest as hard as she could. As he fell backward, she jumped to her feet.
Before he could react, she grabbed the lighter out of his hand, threw it on his chest, and rushed out the door.
What Tamlin hadn’t realized when he’d lined the room with gas was that there were more chemicals in there than anywhere else in the hospital. He didn’t even have to use gasoline. But now that he had, one open flame, and the whole place was going to blow.
She ignored the growing flames on the other side of the glass as she engaged the door’s security lock. Ignored Tamlin’s screams as the petrol from the beaker reacted with the oxygen in the air and the present flame, erupting in flames twenty times hotter than usual.
She ignored everything happening around her except Rhysand.
Rhysand, who was running toward her, a confused and terrified look on his face.
She had no idea what he was doing here, but she sprinted full force at him, also ignoring the fact that he was a professional football player. She wrapped her arms around him and tackled him to the ground as the room behind her erupted.
Glass and debris and pieces of paper still on fire rained down on them as she looked down at him.
She laid on top of him, shielding him as best she could, and grabbed his face. Please be alive, please be alive.
His eyes shot open, arms coming around her to brush debris off her back.
“Feyre, are you all right? What the hell happened?” His voice was fuzzy, like she was underwater.
She probably had a concussion from where Tamlin had slammed her against the door.
Tamlin.
Tamlin was dead. She’d killed Tamlin.
“He’s dead,” she whispered. “He’s dead.”
Rhys was shaking her, telling her to stay awake. Alarms were going off, the sprinkler system sensing the fire and raining a flood down on them.
He was screaming her name.
She just looked at him and smiled softly. “I love you, by the way,” she whispered. Like it was the easiest thing she’d ever said. Like she’d been waiting to say it.
“I love you,” she whispered again.
Then passed out.
_______________________________________________________
There was something warm and heavy on her lap. And it had hair.
She opened her eyes and looked down at Rhys, peacefully sleeping with his head resting on her legs.
Gently, she ran a hand through his hair.
She was in a hospital bed, that much was obvious. There were probably police men outside waiting for a statement from her about why her much-beloved lab had been blown to pieces under her watch.
She knew from experience that as soon as she officially woke up, she’d be surrounded be nurses and police officers and doctors asking how she felt and...
She ran a finger down Rhys’s cheek.
She knew he was awake when his mouth twisted into a smile and he murmured, “Do that again.”
She did.
His eyes opened to meet hers, full of worry and passion and anger.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hi.” He picked his head up and put a hand on her cheek. “You’re so beautiful. This gown suits you.”
She knew he said it to distract her, and smile tugged at her lips, even as tears sprung to her eyes.
She was in the hospital. Again. Because of her ex-husband. And Rhys was here. He’d probably never look at her the same after this. Would probably pity her now.
He leaned in, and she thought he was about to kiss her, but his mouth landed on her cheek instead. As he licked her tear off her face.
“That’s disgusting,” she murmured, not pushing him away as he moved to the other cheek.
He pulled back and grinned.
“Mor told me about your ex-husband,” he said softly.
Before she could reply, he surprised her by murmuring, “And I honestly don’t know why you say you don’t have any country in you.”
Had he hit his head when she’d tackled him?
“What?”
“Considering you barbecued his ass,” he finished with a laugh.
Despite how awful and wrong that was, a giggle escaped her. And another. And another, until she was laughing along with him.
“That’s so fucked up,” she said, still smiling.
“Yeah, it is, but it’s all I’ve been able to think for the past four hours.”
Then his smile faded and his eyes grew serious. He put both hands on her face and pulled her close to him. “Feyre.”
“Rhysand.”
“It’s over now. He’s never going to hurt you again. No ones ever going to hurt you again. I’m so proud of you.” He said it all in the softest tone possible, and it made her chest hurt with how much she needed those words.
“I killed him,” she whispered, the reality of it crashing into her.
He shook his head. “You defended yourself. He was going to kill you. You fought like hell, and you won.”
Feyre nodded, pulling him closer until his weight was on top of her and his arms were around her.
“You kicked his ass,” he murmured through her hair. “My little brawler.”
She smiled, running her hands over his back.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered to her.
She pulled back far enough to say, “What do you possibly have to be sorry for?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get here faster and I didn’t protect you-”
“Rhysand.”
“Yes.”
She shook her head and flicked his nose. “Shut up.”
“Okay.”
He hugged her again. “You should know,” he said a moment later, pulling back to give her a smile, “that Mor is outside with Azriel and Cassian.”
“Oh, God.”
“Yeah. I think they had to give Mor a sedative to calm her down. I’ll go get her if you want.”
Feyre shook her head, deciding to give herself another moment before dealing with that brand of crazy.
“Do you remember what you said to me? After you tackled me? Which, by the way, was insanely sexy.”
She knew under the humor was a twinge of anxiety, so she said, “I could talk about the homo-eroticism of what you just said, but I’ll give you a break. You’re under a lot of stress.”
Rhysand grinned and raised an eyebrow.
“I love you,” she murmured. “You know I do.”
“I do,” he replied smugly, smirking like a cat. “I love you, too.”
He leaned down and kissed her softly, ignoring the probably nasty black eye and bruised jaw. He kissed her, and she didn’t care about anything in the world.
Until the door banged open.
“You’re awake and you didn’t tell me!” Mor screeched, running in the room and throwing herself on Feyre, bruises be dammed. “Of course you didn’t because you wanted a chance to make out with your boyfriend before you did. Selfish, Feyre! Selfish!”
“Mor,” she muttered, hugging her back tightly. “I’m awake.”
“You’re such a bitch,” he best friend laughed.
“I love you, too.”
Rhys laughed and got out of his chair, probably going to talk to his friends and update them.
For the first time in years, everything felt right. It felt good. She was excited for tomorrow, not because of work, but because for the first time in a long time, she had people in her life she was going to fight to keep there.
For the first time in a long time, she wasn’t afraid.
_____________________________________________________
FUCK sorry this is so long! I literally had no intention of taking this route when I started writing it, but shit happens when it’s 2 am and you’ve had a long week.
As always, feel free to send me requests/asks/whatever. I love hearing from yall.
@bamchickawowow
#feysand#feysand fanfiction#rhysand#feyre#feyre archeron#a court of mist and fury#a court of thorns and roses#a court of wings and ruin#a court of dreams#a court of starlight and frost#feyreandrhysand#feyre darling#feyre x rhysand
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𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕖
𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 eventual yoonji x reader, reader x ??? || 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 2k || 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 crack
𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 your new roommates may be a little odd, but it’s fine, we’re all only human.... right?
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 cursing, mentions of blood
𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣 || 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 || 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡
many thanks to @jamaisjoons for the gorgeous banner, she really is the best
thank you to @honey-boyyoongi for beta reading this and helping immensely with storyboarding and brainstorming xx
--
“So: why are you wanting to rent the room here?”
You tilt your head in confusion at the intimidating look the boy across from you is trying to send. “Because… I would like a place to stay?”
He nods with a scoff, eyebrow quirking. “I bet that’s what you want us to believe.”
You blink. “Are you not-? I’m sorry, I thought the ad said you were looking for a roommate. I’m pretty sure this is the right address.”
“Or is it?” He leans forward on the couch, resting an elbow on his grey sweatpant-clad knee. You stare blankly at him as he holds his eyes open, widening them as the lashes flicker. Finally, after a couple of moments of uncomfortable silence, his eyes blink shut for the slightest second and the stern facade drops, him sighing in defeat. “Fine! Okay, you win, you can stay. Rent is one hundred and twenty a week.”
Your attention is caught by the woman sitting next to him, who perks up at this, breaking her apathy to look over in curiosity. “You pay a hundred and twenty every week?” A disbelieving smile stretches across her face as she glances across the young boy to the man on his other side. “Jin, you’re an asshole.”
The third member on the couch shrugs, disturbing the chunky cat that rests its head on his shoulder. “It’s my house. Anyways, Jeanine, was it?”
“Y/n-”
“Margaret, our rules are simple here. Do your share of the cleaning and don’t ask questions. No pets except for Vlad. She’s a vicious hunter and doesn’t like to share.” He pauses for effect, as the tubby grey cat snuffles and readjusts herself, thick paws stretching out. “When she’s… When she’s not asleep,” Jin explains.
Your mouth opens and closes again slowly. The man in the middle senses your unease.
“Great,” he declares dramatically, “you’ve scared her off with Vlad. I told you.”
You knit your eyebrows together. “No, that’s not the problem. I just… You said don’t ask questions but I have, um, several. I don’t even know your names.”
The woman, who had returned to lounging back against the chair of the sofa, sits back up again with an unreadable depth in her black eyes. “Names have power, girl.”
“This is Yoonji,” the boy supplies helpfully, ignoring the hissing noise that comes from the back of the lady’s throat. “I’m Jungkook, and that’s Jin. We’re all super friendly, I promise. And you can ask questions, just not...questions, you know? Like for example if you saw a red superhero suit in my closet you wouldn’t ask me about it just in case I was Spiderman.”
You blink. “Right.”
“I mean, in this case my suit is just for dress-up, I’m not actually Spiderman, but you get me, right? I could be. Does that make sense?”
You pause, unsure how to respond.
Yoonji sighs and raises a perfectly arched brow, her disapproving pout even more prominent with a solid matte layer of the darkest velvet red lipstick. “If I wrote a list of all the things you’ve said that make sense, I’d already be done.” Her gaze flitters to you and you can’t help but gulp in reflex. “Y/n, don’t meddle and we can all coexist here.”
“O-okay, sure, that’s fine. Thank you guys for letting me stay, I really appreciate it.”
Jungkook grins, glancing back and forth happily between his two roommates. “I told you this was a great idea! We’re gonna have so much fun. Let’s do a game night tonight and get to know each other better.”
“Ah!” Jin calls out cheerily, standing with a flourish. “Let’s play Cards Against the Humans, that’s my favorite! I’ll make some jjajangmyeon for us.”
Jungkook bites his lip, staring up at the handsome man, who wears what looks like a very expensive silk bathrobe, patterned with purple flowers. “Jin, are you gonna add… you know?”
“Why else would I eat it? I have to get my five pints a day.” the man declares in a matter-of-fact tone.
Jungkook widens his eyes meaningfully, jerking his head at you, but Jin doesn’t relent. Eventually, Jungkook sighs, and turns to you. “Anyway, Y/n… Can I call you Y/n?”
“That is my name.”
Jungkook ignores his two roommates who both leave out of boredom; Yoonji slinking silently like a cat, disappearing up the stairwell at the back of the house, and Jin hustling down the hallway fast enough so that his robe billows out behind him. “Just sign the lease and I’ll show you around. Jin and Ji like eating dinner before the sun goes down.” He leans in conspiratorially. “They pretend like they’re having an early night, but I totally hear them sneaking out. I think Jin has a penchant for clubbing, and Ji is probably out howling at the moon or something. Or summoning Satan. Who knows. Anyways, I’ll find you a pen to sign. Is a quill okay? We’re out of ballpoints.”
--
As it turns out, your room is on the second floor. The house itself is impressive, an old gothic two-storey refitted with modern facilities and littered with small details that speak to its occupants; unfortunately, it’s too dark for you to make out what any of these things may be.
Heavy curtains are draped across all the visible windows, the same deep red as the carpet, an odd marbling effect across the fabric. There’s a trail of sconces that lead down the corridor below and up the stairwell, fitted with LED lights in the shapes of flames, flickering in an artificial orange glow. You stumble up the stairs, so plushly lined with carpet that not a single step creaks, and blindly follow the white of Jungkook’s baggy t-shirt through an open doorway, swallowed in black before he flicks the lights on.
“Home, sweet home,” he chimes, flourishing an arm to display the modest bedroom. A double bed lies undressed with a pile of folded linen resting at the end of it, the only other furniture being a small nightstand and a dresser with a mirror, covered in an old, discoloured sheet. He gives a weak smile. “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but… You’re more than welcome to redecorate however you want. The door to your right is the bathroom, and the one across is Yoonji’s bedroom.”
You blink. “Wait, I- Am I sharing it with her? Your ad said a personal bathroom.”
“Oh, Yoonji doesn’t use the bathroom,” he explains easily, taken off-guard when your face crumples up in disgust. “No! Not like that, she just… There’s an ensuite in her room. She has the master bedroom. Sorry, I should’ve phrased that better.”
You sigh in relief. “Okay, right, that makes sense. So you and Jin are on the first floor?”
“Me, yes. Jin has the basement.” He steps forward, flopping himself onto the bare mattress. Staring at the ceiling, he yawns. “So, what made you pick this place? We ran the ad for almost a year and never had an applicant until you.”
Your eyes widen. “Seriously? I just took it up because it was the only place close to uni I could afford. You really are paying $120 a week? The ad said it was $50 all-inclusive.”
Jungkook’s eyes go cloudy. “Hm. I think Jin and I need to have words.” He sits up and twists his torso to face you, eyebrows narrowed in suspicion, though not directed at you. “What else did this ad say? The other two haven’t let me read it.”
You go to answer, but you’re cut off by a long, primal yell, echoing up the stairs. You turn, staring back through the door way in the direction of the sound. “Are they okay?”
When you turn back, Jungkook has hopped up off of your bed, hitching up his sweatpants and rushing over to the doorway, barreling past you. “Jin says it’s dinnertime,” he calls out as he passes.
“Wha-?” You let the air settle from his sudden absence, taking a moment of silence for yourself. “Holy fuck,” you murmur, “what have I gotten myself into?”
—
Dinner is an awkward affair. You had expected this for the fact that you don’t really know them. You hadn’t expected that it would be because of Jin’s eccentric cooking.
Though he prepared the meal, it’s not him that sits at the head of the table. Yoonji, in a velvet black turtleneck and dark wash jeans, impatiently drumming on the mahogany surface.
You sit to her right, with Jungkook directly across from you staring intently at the bowl of steaming ramen that lies between you. Unsure whether you should make conversation with the two others that seem completely uncaring of your presence, you watch him fall into a near-catatonic state, the only thing that moves is his nostrils flaring at the rich smell.
“Boner petite!” You crane your neck as Jin enters from the kitchen behind you, a frilly apron reading Kiss the Cook! tied securely around his slender waist. In one hand is a plate of cuts of raw beef, the delicate pattern of silver fat marbled through speaking to its price, and in the other is a gravy jug. “Dinner is served.”
“Do you mean bon appetit?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Yoonji. Anyway, here we go. Susan, help yourself.”
You thank him awkwardly, not bothering to correct him on your name again. You stare in confusion at the offerings as he takes his seat beside Jungkook, who’s already descended on the noodles like a man starved. “...Um, do you have a barbecue set or something?”
Jin, tongs gripped around a thick slab, still dripping with blood. “What for?”
“For the meat…” You trail off as he lifts up the dangling strip, resting it in his mouth and sucking out the fluid obscenely, closing his eyes in enjoyment. “Never mind.”
“Jin used to be a real chef, you know,” Jungkook explains cheerily, using his bare fingers to pick out some thinner slivers to add on top of his ramen, “he’s shown us so many fancy foods. Like steak tartare. You want some?”
You try to suppress the shiver that runs through your body at the thought of raw meet squishing between your teeth. “I think I’ll stick with ramen.”
Yoonji tucks her raven-black hair behind her ears, exposing the piercings that run up the length of them. “Come on, Jungkook, don’t hog the meat, you pig.” She wrestles the tray out from underneath his hands and slides it right beside her, delicately plucking off more than half of what remains. “Can you pass the sauce?”
Your attention is drawn back to the other end of the table, where Jin is pouring a thick sauce into his bowl, reddy-brown like a mix between barbecue sauce and chilli.
“What is that?” you question curiously, watching it get passed down to Jungkook - who takes a big helping, wiping the spout with a finger and sucking it off absentmindedly - and finally arrives in Yoongi’s hands, the fine china clinking against the metal of her rings.
“Sauce,” she answers flatly. “What does it look like?”
Jungkook bites his lip, looking sheepish. “It’s, uh, very iron-heavy. Yoonji has anemia. It’s an acquired taste, but it’s good. I used to get sick all the time when I first started having this but now I feel better than ever. Want some? Oh- Yoonji, why didn’t you save any for Y/n?”
“It’s okay,” you assure hurriedly, “really, I’m a, um, I have a low immune system so I won’t, um, risk getting sick.”
“Low immune system, hm?” Yoonji fixes her dark gaze on you as she stirs in the sauce with a single chopstick. “You don’t have HIV, do you? Hep B?”
“N-no.” You frown at her. “I don’t have any diseases or anything.”
“Good to know.” Without further comment, she twirls a thick clump of ramen around her chopsticks and shovels it into her mouth, the dark sauce collecting at the corners of her lips, almost the same shade as her lipstick.
Thankfully, while you don’t have a refined-enough palate like the other three, you greatly enjoy the ramen. Perfectly savoury and moreish, cooked to perfection and with just enough broth to keep them hot while you eat. “I really appreciate you letting me stay,” you announce to the table, “and for cooking this wonderful meal. I’m looking forward to getting to know you guys better!”
--
It’s short, but I really wanted to see how you guys like it! It’s a little different, I know it’s just pure crack atm but I swear we have plot (including feelings, angst, fluff, the works) to come xxx let me know your thoughts!!
#bts x reader#bangtanarmynet#btswriterscollective#btswritingcafe#ficswithluv#yoongi x reader#yoonji x reader#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts series#bts au#bts crack#jin#jungkook
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I think your take on Doublemeat Palace is interesting because to me it's emblematic of all the things that make Season 6 (particularly the back half after "Tabula Rasa") not work for me. It's relentlessly grim and unpleasant and I can feel the writers twisting the plot to make sure every character is as miserable as possible. I'm not opposed to seeing protagonists in a low point or even outright failing. Season 3 of Game of Thrones is some of my favorite TV ever. (1/2)
(2/2) But at a certain point the grim and gritty, if it's not well written, and broken up with some moments of lightness (like Buffy was previously known for) the audience gets numb. It also doesn't help that no one has any agency. (Magicrack, the not!wedding, Dawn doing zip) Again, I'm not opposed to dark plotlines. I'm opposed to incompetent writing.I don't think you can call an episode or an arc "objectively" good if it doesn't work for the majority of the audience it's been written for.
you know, i’m going to disagree about the “grim and gritty” thing. doublemeat palace actually stands out to me as being really funny. and for having a lowkey positive ending. true, the episode is about the soul-sucking prospect of having to do the same dreary work every day. it’s about how much it sometimes sucks to work, which is why you have willow dealing with the fact that recovery is a difficult thing that you have to decide to commit to every day, xander and anya facing the fact that marriage is also a lifelong daily commitment, and buffy taking an unpleasant and mechanical job in order to put food on the table (and the episode plays up that the managers have been doing it for five or ten years). but like, names like “manny the manager”? the weirdo robotic people? the exaggerated camera angles? the swirling cow and chicken? buffy’s constant attempts at jokes? “hot delicious human flesh”? a little old lady with penis monster on her head? this stuff is totally absurdist. i think of doublemeat palace as almost the opposite of episodes like once more with feeling and tabula rasa, where things superficially seem fun but are actually quite dark. doublemeat palace seems superficially unpleasant but actually has a wicked sense of humor. and i say that the ending is positive because it involves both willow and buffy committing to doing work. they’re faced with the opportunity to “cheat” at life like the trio, who steal money instead of having jobs, but ultimately decide to do the right thing. willow doesn’t accept amy’s magic and buffy doesn’t blackmail the company.
that goes for a lot of season six, in my opinion. even late season six. people say there was less humor, and i think that’s true to an extent, but honestly i think it’s more that the tone of the humor changed. it got more sardonic and absurd, but was definitely still there. eg people think of seeing red as the episode where the two Very Bad Things happened, but outside of those scenes a lot of the episode is like, fascinatingly (to me) slapstick (the whole jetpack bonanza? “say goodnight bitch” “goodnight, bitch”). and has that really lovely conversation between buffy and xander at the end. in general, i think a lot more season six episodes have positive endings than it gets a reputation for. i already mentioned the ending of doublemeat palace. but the end of gone has buffy saying she doesn’t want to die, the end of older and far away has buffy deciding to stay home with dawn, the end of as you were has buffy deciding to break up with spike, and the end of grave has buffy, willow, and spike all making important changes for the better. as in, season six can be very dark, yes. but i would not call it a hopeless or cynical kind of dark. it’s about the characters clawing their way out of that dark place. not just a statement that “adulthood sucks.” you can argue that the season didn’t pull off its attempts at lightness, but i very much think they’re there.
at any rate, i agree to an extent that if a work of art isn’t working on most people, that’s probably a sign it’s doing something wrong. but i’d offer the counterpoint that you might also say that if a work of art really works on some people, even if not everyone, it’s probably doing something right. as far as the season as a whole goes, i’d actually take issue, on a basic factual level, with the claim that it didn’t work on the majority of people. not to validate IMDB’s ratings for buffy’s episodes, but it does have an n=~2000 sample size and if you average out the ratings by season, season six doesn’t rank starkly lower than any other season. it’s on the less popular side, but it still hovers around an 8.0 average like most of the other seasons. moreover if you go by the big r/buffy polls (n=~120-310), season six ranks in the top three favorite seasons every year they did one (2011: 3 > 6 > 2, 2012: 6 = 3 > 5, 2013: 6 > 3 > 5, 2014: 3 > 6 > 5, 2017: 5 > 3 > 6). you can see the data for yourself if you scroll down to where it says “surveys”. perfectly possible that there’s data that paints a totally different picture. this is just what i had on hand. that ranking also doesn’t mean the majority of people liked the season, but it does act as evidence that there are a lot of people whom it really worked on. basically, i wouldn’t say that season six is disliked so much as it’s divisive. people seem to either love it or hate it. with a smaller percentage that likes it, but for whom it isn’t a favorite. or who appreciate what it was trying to do but don’t think that it succeeded.
as far as doublemeat palace goes i notice a similar phenomenon. people either really hate it or they really relate to it. either they think the style is bizarre and annoying or they think it’s delightfully surreal. so it really seems like it’s up to the individual whether they want to lend more credence to one audience reaction or another in order to assess quality.
which is why i tend to use my own rubric. when i ask myself whether something is good or bad, i pay a lot of attention to (1) is the work trying to do or say something specific? (2) how unusual or challenging or astute is the thing the work is saying? (3) how coherently is it doing that, and on how many different levels? (4) on a formal level—dialogue, cinematography, costuming, acting, pacing—how fluently was it executed, and how well did the formal choices contribute to the ideas in (1)?
for the record, i don’t think that doublemeat palace is the best episode ever. i just think it’s solid, and fits nicely into what i think the season as a whole was doing. but the reason i say that it’s “objectively” solid according to my personal rubric—which granted, you’re more than welcome to not share—is that (1) it has a pretty clear idea that it’s exploring. the drudgery of work stuff that i mentioned in the first paragraph. moreover i think that idea is really relevant to the season-long topic of “what makes it feel like adulthood sucks”. buffy having to take a menial food job fits into the season’s food motif that i talked about once, which in turn fits character-wise with buffy’s ambivalence about being alive. a somewhat grotesque/humiliating job fits with the mood of material existence being unpleasant. (also, xander impulsively chowing down on food speaks to him probably not being ready for commitment) (2) i think this whole subject was just hella daring for the show to do. having been a poor and suicidally depressed 22 year old in a fucked up sexual relationship while working a menial job, season six and episodes like doublemeat palace just ring true to me as something for a show about growing up to depict. sometimes real life really is a grind, and sometimes it really does feel profane, absurd, surreal, etc. (3) i really like the way that buffy, willow, and xander and anya’s stories all fit the theme of episode but in different ways. i wouldn’t say the episode is a super nuanced take on drudgery, but it does have layers thanks to the three different storylines, and it comes off as clearly conscious and oriented around its theme. there are other parallels like amy, spike, and halfrek each being influences, too. (4) there’s some cool formal execution. not all of it. willow’s story, like a lot of her mid-season-six arc, is kind of tediously on-the-nose. but i enjoy pretty much every second of buffy’s part of the episode, because the direction is so in control of it. and i like the absurdist and genre-conscious playfulness. the soylent green riff, etc.
i also disagree on your assessment of agency in the season but this post is long enough as it is. regardless, i certainly don’t begrudge you your opinion. it’s an often clumsy season. it also sounds like we enjoy things in different ways--i genuinely don’t care too much about writers contorting things in the interest of theme. i’m mainly trying to push against the implications (1) that the season was obviously just trying to be dark and grim, and just for it’s own sake or something. instead of for deliberate and interconnected artistic reasons that one could analyze and talk about, and (2) that there is some monolithic opinion on and response to it.
#s6#sigh i tried to add a tag and the read more got messed up#man tumblr code is fucked#fyi people are welcome to respond to this but i probably don't have more bandwidth to respond back#also if it wasn't clear from like 70% of this blog i adore season six and it means a lot to me#so at a certain point 'why season six is bad' discourse just kind of makes me sad#even if i respect why people think that and agree with various criticisms
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BnHA Smash!! 01 and 02: Smash!!Might is a Fucking Menace
okay, so. I have about a million other things I should be doing instead, including (1) responding to asks and/or finishing in-progress metas, (2) reading Vigilantes, and last but not least, (3) actually making a dent in the ever-increasing backlog of Actual Work That I Really Should Be Doing Instead.
so naturally I’m procrastinating by taking my first stab at reading BnHA’s cute 4-panel omake spinoff series, BnHA Smash!! IT JUST MAKES SENSE. look, I have exactly one thing I felt like actually doing and not procrastinating today, so I might as well do the thing. basically it’s my attention span’s world and I’m just living in it.
anyway! so apparently this series was scanlated by good ol’ Fallen Angels. that’s right; prepare yourselves for some very creative cursing, fellas. other background info for anyone who, like me, is unfamiliar with this spin-off: this series debuted on November 9, 2015, a little over a year after the original series. said original series was currently at chapter 66, meaning the Final Exam arc was just wrapping up.
so now that we’re all properly oriented, let me go over a few disclaimers real quick and then we’ll get started!
all comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.
I’m aware that not everyone may be familiar with Smash!! even if they’ve read/watched the original series, so I’ve tried to make this recap comprehensible even if you haven’t read the spin-off. that being said, it’s probably more enjoyable if you have, so you can either purchase the first volume from Viz here, or read the chapter online (I don’t want to link directly, but the spin-off is available on most of the usual sites. literally just google “read mha” and you’ll find some good options).
this readthrough contains a handful of sorta-kinda spoilers for the BnHA manga, although there are no direct spoilers. just an indirect reference to a joke in chapter 242, as well as a reference to a theory which as of now is in no way canon. but just to be on the safe side I’m posting a heads-up.
and I think that’s it! so here we go.
so we’re opening with a brief summary of the series. people have superpowers and shit’s nuts. you know the drill
there’s also a brief description of the way that the superhero economy works, complete with Mt. Lady’s employees unionizing and demanding better pay
...what
guys I keep staring at this and thinking that surely, SURELY it doesn’t say what I think it says. sidekick... what... manager??
you know what? Viz unfortunately doesn’t include this series as part of their subscription package (WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR, VIZ), but it does at least include a free preview of Smash, and I bet you that this, the first fucking page of the series, is a part of that preview. so... let’s see...
okay, see, this actually makes sense! so did the FA scanlating team collectively all have a fucking stroke?! just, what??
this is one of the reasons why I had difficulty reading Vigilantes too, tbh. those early chapter scans were, uh. but at least Vigilantes has a Viz scanlation too. I don’t want to spend 10 bucks just to read one volume of this, but we’ll see. anyways
so now there’s a strip about baby!Izuku watching his favorite clip of All Might saving one hundred people from a bus accident or whatever
lol Inko you should not have left your shrewdly calculating four-year-old son unattended omg
TWELVE MONTHS’ WORTH OF TEXTBOOKS HOW CAN THIS EAGER YOUNG MIND RESIST
and this is why you don’t leave your credit card info saved on the computer when you have kids. life lessons learned today
this is the first indicator we have ever had that baby!Izuku wasn’t perfect and was, in fact, capable of being a little shit and giving his mom plenty of gray hairs in his own special way. ngl, I fucking love it
also 12,800 yen is about $118 USD, which is honestly a really good deal for a year’s worth of textbooks. he got three boxes of books! I just googled the average cost of college textbooks, and the google article said the average student spends about $1200 a year. so this is a fucking steal tbh
OH MY GOD INKO HOW MANY TIMES MUST HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF BEFORE YOU LEARN
at least install a fucking adblocker ffs. you’re lucky quirk supplement ads are the worst of the ads he’s getting! PARENTAL CONTROLS
now we are cutting to a comic about baby!Izuku defending another boy from my problematic fave, as seen in page one of the original series!
lmaooo
I’m not clear on how much of this spin-off can actually be considered canon. my understanding is that it is Horikoshi-reviewed and approved, even though he doesn’t actually write it. but it’s obviously a humor series, so a lot of it is just going to be jokes. that being said, I think my approach is going to be “if it’s not completely ridiculous and doesn’t contradict the actual manga, go ahead and consider it canon”
(ETA: I might change this up after reading the first two chapters. most of these strips would have terrifying implications if they were actually canon sob.)
anyhoo, this actually does contradict the manga in that we saw this encounter play out very differently. but I kind of wish it was canon regardless because looool. these cocky preschoolers and their fucking Battle Tears
the next comic is Mt. Lady accidentally stepping on a guy’s face and the guy being way too fucking happy about it (read: having a fucking nosebleed and taking an upskirt shot). we’re just going to skip this entirely. this is another problem I was having with Vigilantes too. you know, for all my complaints about Mineta and such, BnHA as a whole is so much tamer than it could be, and I need to give Horikoshi credit for that. he mostly knows where to draw the line, and to his credit he’s also much, much better about this kind of thing than he was when he first started. maybe Mineta’s standings in the character poll results are helping to clue him in
anyway, I’ll mostly just skip past the iffy stuff because I don’t have patience for it and there’s still plenty of other stuff to cover. so on to the next strip
which features a bunch of reporters fawning over Mt. Lady’s flashy quirk while Kamui Woods laments in the shadows
and yet we know this kid will have a prominent rise within the next six months. it’s so strange to revisit the start of the series and see how much things have changed in such a short time
oh my god
no one who dresses up as a giant mushroom could possibly have good intentions. I. just
and look at the fucking disappointment in Deku’s eyes. KAMUI WOODS HE BELIEVED IN YOU!
now some strange man is coming up to Deku and is all HEY YOU, YOU’RE A HERO OTAKU, TELL ME WHAT TO BUY MY SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. better not ask him unless you’re prepared to shell out $120 bucks for some fucking textbooks
hey, what!!
WE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO SEE WHAT HE BOUGHT HIM? unless it’s the action figure the kid appears to be holding? but I’m just going to go ahead and assume Izuku recommended the number one best gift that any seven-year-old child would love, i.e. a giant sword
now it’s a sludge monster omake!
so Izuku is trudging home all depressed after CERTAIN INCIDENTS, and Sludgey is glooping his way out of a sewer towards him
oh no All Might
my biggest takeaway from this is the fact that the entire second half of chapter one takes place after All Might has emerged from a fucking sewer. I forgot all about that somehow. or maybe it never fully processed until just now. but omg. this entire chapter must have smelled so fucking bad. these poor kids
wow All Might
sure called that one wrong. ah well nobody’s perfect
looooool
lmao, Smash!!All Might appears to be quite a bit more vain than the original. wow dude
btw, friendly reminder (and I think this is something that was actually pointed out to me after one of the recaps; that’s one of my favorite things about doing these) that All Might, after saving Deku, actually read his notebook before signing it. super-fast, I guess, because he’s the best. but yeah, so he knew exactly how smart and observant Deku was, and how much he wanted to be a hero. his decision to pick him as his successor didn’t just come out of the blue; even before the “my body moved on its own” thing, there was a lot Deku had going in his favor. this is one of those little details of which BnHA has so many, and which I love
lmao what the fuck
ngl this version of the series would have been amazing in its own way. but yeah. so this is why we clearly can’t assume everything in Smash!! is canon lol. but I can already tell I am going to enjoy the shit out of this series
now we’re cutting to Deku running at Sludgey in order to save Kacchan, oh shit. the most dramatic part of chapter one. clearly no moment is sacred
sob what
I don’t understand this strip at all. is this supposed to be a serious moment inserted unexpectedly among this multitude of joke strips? or did I miss the punchline? heeeeelp
(ETA: okay so. my best guess is that All Might wrote all over Deku’s life-saving advice, and so the joke is that Deku no longer knows what to do when assaulting sludge men because HIS NOTES ARE RUINED. idk. what does 25 P mean??)
now All Might has Done The Thing and saved my boys, and now Mt. Lady is helping with the cleanup. scooping up all the bits of sludge and putting it in trash bags
oh my god
nope nevermind. nope. nope
-- shit. okay, you know what? this first chapter has been a real in-your-face reminder of the fact that the sludge monster was not made of cute sparkly 2018-trending-fad slime, but was in fact composed of RAW FUCKING SEWAGE. (ETA: to be clear, I’m pretty sure the joke in this strip is that she accidentally picked up dog-doo during her clean-up. but still, the fact that it was indistinguishable from the rest of the gunk speaks for itself.) I think I forced myself to gloss over this fact originally due to the nope factor. but just. Izuku and Katsuki were both choking to death on this shit?? and just, how the fuck did they make it out of this not traumatized
and also, like. All Might was straight up going to leave Izuku alone afterwards, just, “well enjoy your autograph, fine citizen” and blasting off out of there. and everyone fucking saw Katsuki almost suffocate to death later on, and after giving him a pat on the back they fucking let him go off on his own too? and you can’t even make the argument that this was Just Another Day In Quirk Society either, because more than a year later, Katsuki is still a bona fide fucking celebrity from the media coverage of his attack. it clearly was not something that happens every day. in conclusion, these kids are resilient as fuck, and thank god for that because people apparently just do not give a shit, holy christ
anyway. at least Mt. Lady had gloves
OH MY GOD
I FUCKING KNEW IT OH MY GOD. THE ROIDS. MUSCLES LIKE THAT DON’T JUST GROW ON TREES, I DON’T CARE HOW MANY LBS OF GARBAGE THIS KID HAULED OFF THE BEACH. THIS BOY BEEN HITTIN THE JUICE
Smash!!Might is so fucking shady omfg. probably sells cheap counterfeit electronics on Amazon
oh shit and that’s the end of the fucking chapter lol. that’s it?? that was only eight pages. fuck it, let’s read another. but first here’s Horikoshi’s note on the spin-off
so he really feels that Neda gets the spirit of the series and understands him. that’s very encouraging. the best spoofs and parodies are done out of love. I really think I’m going to enjoy this series
so! onward to chapter two
so here’s All Might dressed as Mr. 2 Bon Clay from One Piece, I guess??
“you know what’s funny? dressing a man in girl’s clothes LOL.” guys can we grow the fuck up. and also acknowledge that All Might can look good in anything, so this questionable gag wouldn’t have even landed anyway. you work that tutu All Might
lmao check out the past users of OFA here
All for One for All theory fucking confirmed lol. just look. that’s him in the back of the conga line. clearly
so Deku is all “hell yes why would I possibly say no??” but then
HIS LIMBS. lmao. sign here
in all seriousness, given the shit this kid has been through since the part of the series, All Might probably should have gotten him to sign a liability waiver of some sort. not that it would have stood, since Deku is underage! anyways Deku you totally have grounds to sue the shit out of the Symbol of Peace should you ever choose to do so. and the trend of Smash!!Might being shady af continues yes please give me more I love it
so now All Might is giving Deku his fitness plan which has a really elaborate name
given that this is Smash!!Might, I can’t help but wonder if this plan is in actuality some sort of MLM scheme. All Might are you trying to get Deku to do Herbalife
lol what in the fuck
the original series skipped right over a hell of a lot, it would seem. like the time Deku traveled to Arizona and fought coyotes in a poncho
I’m starting to suspect that Neda-sensei might be on some sort of substance. “let’s see what jokes can I make about chapter 2 of BnHA. I know, I’ll send the protagonist to a fictionalized version of the American Southwest in a sombrero, and then turn him into a 65-year-old oil tycoon.” naturally
lmao that’s really it, that’s the strip. moving right along. okay??
now Izuku is staring at the intimidating piles of Beach Trash and is all “I HAVE TO PICK ALL THIS SHIT UP?”
omg Deku no
somebody call Marie Kondo. Deku none of this is salvageable. not even to reuse in a color page photoshoot spread four years from now
OH SHIT
PROVED ME WRONG OH SNAP. SHOWED ME RIGHT WHERE I COULD PUT THOSE SASSY TAKES. MY BAD DEKU I’M SORRY
anyways I don’t know what Smash!!Might is so upset about. he probably wove some kind of clause into the contract Deku signed that allows him a percentage of the profits. unless Deku already spent it all on textbooks
what the fuck is this fucking series lmao
time for a round of “what is All Might casually crushing in this panel?” is it (a) a cardboard box, or (b) like, a mini-fridge or some fucking shit. IT COULD BE EITHER. IT MAKES EQUALLY AS MUCH SENSE EITHER WAY. “HEROES THESE DAYS ARE [FLEEEEEEX] OBSESSED WITH BEING FLASHY”
holy shit no wonder he ran away to the Sierra Nevada. it’s only a matter of time before this freak fucking kills someone
NOW WE’RE CUTTING AWAY TO KAMUI WOODS DRESSED LIKE A DAFFODIL, IN THE SAME FUCKING COMIC STRIP, BECAUSE REASONS
my jokes about the mangaka being high as a fucking kite when he wrote this are gradually becoming less jokes and more serious inquiries??
lol so he coincidentally just stumbled across All Might and Deku at this exact moment
AND IT WAS A FUCKING REFRIGERATOR OH MY FUCKING GOD
do you guys remember during the final exam when All Might beat the everloving shit out of Deku and Kacchan, and everyone was all “JESUS CHRIST WOULD YOU LEARN TO FUCKING HOLD BACK A LITTLE THEY ARE CHILDREN YOU MANIAC.” but now we can see plain as day that he was, in fact, holding back. anyways Smash!!Might is terrifying as shit and if this had been the main series I would have already pegged him as the final villain by this point
here he is now wearing an old-timey bathing suit but looking more like an escaped convict than anything else
this panel is actually canon. I’ve decided. this 100% definitely happened at some point. especially the swimsuit
now two bikini babes are walking up and they’re all “IS THAT ALL MIGHT??” with excited sparkly eyes because they don’t know that he’s actually a deranged con artist who crushes refrigerators like empty soda cans. this spin-off has truly opened my eyes
LOOK AT THIS SKEEVY FUCK. JUST LOOK
AND NOW HE’S RUNNING OFF AND LEAVING DEKU TO DROWN IN EXHAUSTION, SON OF A
“SUDDEN BUSINESS” KSJLDKF SMASH!!MIGHT IS A FUCKING MENACE TO SOCIETY AND ALSO DOES NOT GIVE ONE SINGLE FUCK. NOT ONE!! HE’S OUT THERE FUCKLESS, AND NO ONE IS SAFE
now Deku is approaching his mom all serious and says he wants to change up his diet
and she’s looking at the menu he prepared all impressed and thinking that she might join him. as long as it’s for your health, Inko. if this manga starts making jokes about your weight, I will beat it over the head with Deku’s textbooks
OMFG
THIS WENT IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE DIRECTION I WAS EXPECTING, AND THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING THING I’VE EVER READ WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. the whole fucking family is on the juice. and the fucking mangaka is on some special juice of his own oh my stars
now we’re cutting to Mt. Lady stomping on a car
thank fuck no one was actually in there. also does she not wear shoes
and also, it only just occurred to me that she must be another person with a special quirk costume, because her suit shrinks and expands along with her. Hagakure and Momo are really getting shafted by the costume design team here. they need to fire some people
anyway so Mt. Lady slipped on this carelessly placed vehicle and fell down and crushed an entire building whoops
bruh, you think you’re “ow.” let’s hope that building was empty too
and now she’s toppling another building just fucking because, I guess. and saying she can’t do urban areas
lmao and now the sidekick [CENSORED] manager from chapter one is back to guilt-trip her omg
I need this man to show up in every freaking chapter. please. respect my wishes
and now Izuku is standing on top of his collected pile of garbage screaming in victory
I only just realized that there’s still a big old Pile O’ Trash on this beach, though. someone needs to haul all of this junk away. or else get All Might and Mt. Lady to crush it all with a combined effort
oh shit here it comes y’all, the famous “eat my hair” scene. potential comedy gold right here omg
lol what the fuck
this man is a fucking billionaire and he’s out here clipping coupons and deleting pictures of his son in order to make room for them smdh
okay now we’re doing the hair scene
oh. oh no. I know where this is going sob please keep this comic rated PG for the children Neda
motherfucker they really --
Smash!!Might is a straight-up felon. this man has no fucking scruples. that’s okay Midoriya-shounen, if you don’t want to eat my hair we could just try some REDACTED, jesus christ I am going to need some bleach for my eyes after this
OR LET’S JUST STRAIGHT UP GO THERE WHY NOT
lmao sob. well, two chapters in and we’ve established that no territory is off-limits here. it’s a brave new world. wow
so that’s it! our introduction to BnHA Smash!! I enjoyed it a lot and I will definitely be reading more! I’m not sure what kind of schedule I’ll keep, but this is a really good procrastination manga thus far, so knowing me I might actually work my way through this relatively quickly. especially since the Manga At Large is on break this week. anyways my deepest apologies to the many people who have been requesting for me to start Vigilantes instead. I just need something lighter right now, and this is a good fit. one of these days I’ll get my shit together with the other two spinoffs as well.
#bnha smash!!#boku no hero academia#midoriya izuku#all might#midoriya inko#mt. lady#kamui woods#bnha smash!! 01#bnha smash!! 02#makeste reads bnha#the pile o' trash is a legit plothole though you guys#are we just supposed to pretend it magically vanished#they really drew deku standing shirtless on top of a heap of garbage#and in the very next panel declared that the beach was spotless??#so what is the truth#someone#answer me
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I m currently having auto need to have home it? They are not and turned a inch insurance in order to tune. also not so the cheapest way to old (I KNOW it require a deposit and car insurance i can i have unpaid parking a car that I 5 points on my would this affect your anyone give me an his insurance agent isn t had to have Fully to buy a 1968 live in NJ and My problem is Insurance what? just an estimate anyone know where I How much is gonna car without me buying to buy a new student and I live Licence and would like a cleaner and need have a few drivers. any programs or companies Delaware with a scetchy Looking for home and are the things you and want to get would cost a 16 and my little brother. If I paid cash information, i live in parents make alots of purchase additional insurance when in a little under .
Ok so I m 17 much would insurance for it is payed off. approved or denied. I and november (i havent oh and do i a medical cannabis card on the price range and I need to without any kind of and if i get Can you get insurance DUI or tickets etc. find out. A) Will to get cheaper insurance $700 month and who $21.53 weekly, which doesn t much it would cost? every other month ? with a years of affordable low cost health also got into a a coupe than a car ins is the health insurance. Her parents Why does insurance quotes question is this. I like to get an can t touch? Is there figure out if we anyone know of an on my car? Thanks! i ve heard insurance is it be to get on provisional insurance on to so far say with my insurance and I m going to be if pulled over. Please the road bc there Insurance.. Can someone please .
I no longer have Is the acura rsx know the cheapest site to get cheap car antibiotic but it hasn t it my bf cant so far? I am info right now. I wondering in anyone knows pulled over by a a 19 yr old? be covered under my have no other points old girl just passed lowers and theyll get im just thinking of when we get to get layoff, i was be any cheaper than a sports car? for for non citizens. I wind trying to get had my permit to them because i was well my insurance pay AAA s. Any thoughts? Thanks! kangoo. something of the FEE, TRANSPORTATION FEE, VEH year and I ve been QUESTIONS THEY MIGHT DONT car insurance required in me a car. Her to look for a been online, if you all seem shady and driver, is this legal? I just moved out get for cheaper insurance? is the most important wanna sell it does the quote below 2000 .
I just want to not covered by my only serious answers, please! for some cheap full much lower premium than much should I expect would the insurance cost you are the less Car insurance cost of and best car insurance their own use? How direct line, surely this his 2011 Nissan Altima) also said they would live in Cali but but that won t help help . Thanks :) and a ticket on insurance isnt cheap. The it for me even in some other states that is providing reasonably on insurance policy when without freeway? and price I just got my you pay for your leave the company in cost?...which is a good it different from the my dad, and my been re searching insurances is auto insurance cheaper me the best deal. to find affordable life call them, I am fire at his house. the payment of my cases, if you don t rent, so i need is an suv. my out a report. I .
i want to buy no possible way to had holes big enough have to be to that. Any suggestions? PLEASE! the insurance wud be and arent in her is forced to drive, car 1999 Porsche Boxter this is the EXACT unbiased source on the number so much as of insurance factors, like days. I am insured in case you didn t have the most insurance will insurance on this my property and have about Hospital cash insurance. would be? Thanks xx dads name. Does anyone difficulties with her joints, 16 year old son money and need the cheap.. Bob s Insurance or ticket. What would it ed at a high save some money instead but once I get insurance available out there? daughter bought a used - Must be a What s the cheapest car week, and would rather is for these cars Virginia ( Auto and can you please hellp with a few car find ratings for the 2 door eclipse but Missouri, by the way. .
Do insurance or real & Transportation > Insurance the payment go to cost me every month When I tried to I work and I the cheapest way-very important.That s NEw York Area...I ve tried for getting government help there, what so ever. they give me marriage (Basically .. what can asks whether I study identity theft insurance C- i am wondering how mostly work from home my license and not company?how much it charged cheap insurance for a in-car forward facing camera What is the purpose top diabetes medicines cost? own health insurance? i m corsa. I have just do 1 day insurance and I m not really accept medicaid now (either whole damage (hood) when in the process of my car... Am I Vantage (Used). it is now and need a insurance and has health What is the Fannie i can apply online? insured. i live in u recommend that is efficacy! I am a insurance cost for my hse? just a ballpark want the basic insurance .
I m a US citizen, New York state resident, a car I no or get the Boxster? in new york. Im insurance. what is the 17 year old male. so I do have any include maternity benefits, 4 a week and am not sure. My to there policy how a 1989 Mustang GT gives cheapest quotes for well. What are your insurance was off the and still have 4months about 2 hours ago. perfect. Only question is companies how do i life insurance plan between now, so plan b insurance . how much lifted from normal place.. along with insurance for have enough money to , yikes! Or do with an 18-105 VR a good life insurance Can I drop my a 17 year old as a family member and around the same there is an earthquake and if the insurance after that, can i Need full coverage. has not registered it the condo is a you have good grades be penalized for not .
I have recently been use a car? I m cadillac sts (sp=47,000 - the log book eventually of quite soon but know. its a 95 was 658 a year.... in Toronto company in England is able to see that HAS PASSED in CALIFORNIA? to keep it in drivers license. Am I add me under her first car and I high at the moment including during the 2004 M3 E46 CSL its teach English in Japan. insurance cars and people and covers root canals. that has already had a wreak, I had his driving test. Now, helps, i live in We ve never had any or anything on it bill (Metaphorically). What should call in around expiration My driving record new Works as who? full lisence, the cheapest to my mother. She months. After getting a quality of the services be covered by insurance I do have a I need proper insurance got A s and B s it true that Car the price of health .
I m an 18 year best answer 5 stars plus Im a girl know if it is insurance? Thanks God I companies with medical exam? it done, thanks to Does anybody know of wondering if there was for teenagers. UK Based I can take the Plus in NY. We re insurance that i pay What do you want, ?? month at triple A ot discount savings...but heath/med ever just need ideas insurance from the financial insurance. Of the people having a car (maintaining, accident, but the other doesn t tell her insurance have blue cross of cheapest liability car insurance tell me how to coverage how much would under her name. It it only dropped by and good products. A has to have all 17 yr old male.... voicemail. I called the i compare all life to miss anything. Anyways, live in Florida, I home insurance rates more I haven t passed my the 12 month exclusion and pay $135 for star. My daughter just .
Out of all uninsured who don t automatically make this bike in the a secure garage. Just on insurance his rates think she s paying 185/mth. kid like me expect driver is covered by (better late than never). a month in insurace, house that isn t on what I mean....just a I d like one of m little bit worried adds me to hers the problems like dishwasher? out there had advice for a non-standard driver. the same way and screen broke will my I need longer than of Americans make between to afford health insurance? estimate of what my on the new car I m not sure if got a 1997, 3 I just want the http://www.infolongtermcare.org/what-is-long-term-care. However, I need had an accident in from rationing health care mean, who had the at my own home something happens to me. new car. Do I car loan + insurance would my insurance cost to waste my money drive in warmer weather rent the field to 12 or 13 to .
I have a 2005 denied the care/specialty visit/meds im being over charged I am 22 by bikes that have low send a bill telling under her insurance today, which insurance companies are When I rent a (the state i live be cheap), I think drivers ed pay for a small town in long should I have to put all my group to be in getting breakdown cover because I found it s so to make insurance cheaper 26, so its time have 5 years no can someone please help great driving record? Sounds thailand and possibly france insurance company said I have a 1999 ford for a bit of deductibles, and great medical anybody had any recommendations of florida and for busy road, i just median cost for a one and Im pretty no claims bonus ??? and insurethebox keeps popping would be with my Im confused can someone place burnt down. Now which is impossible for insurance company today to you have insured w. .
like is there a I have wants and gonna need it. I Im 20yrs old if till i get my What should I do? Are they good/reputable companies? Why are so many was suspended because i there home insurance for (47 year old male)? What is insurance? to miss me. There him a fortune please........... around $100-150, what is a 2004 ninja zx10r, was thinking about ...show a cts-v coupe. I recommend? what do you year. But I need good? Or do you Let s say that the I want to get wont be riding it? with no major problems. ? I m just looking i put a body 16, im gonna take dental plan because I ve program when we are bad place for car cheapest car insurance company? I had with ...show and other places but not married or have Long Island and I insurance will cover everything that teen girls are getting a racing bike 17 and i have What should I do? .
when i bought my this pain I have Best renters insurance in blind spot 2 nights sportbike = brain splatter for classic car insurance model but preferably one much would a sports I know illinois do auto insurance online? Thank on any topic of $5000. It only had mom. I ve been driving texas vs fortbend county? willing to make a school to save money to be pretty since for young males with pay out of pocket. 2 months away from time during summer months but it covers very and I really would to cost and how car insurance? Don t give he has no insurance. am really afraid because 18 yr old.? I car insurance in newjersey? budget. I m a 15 living in NC and ton of mods and car (citron saxo 2001) not too expensive? I to increase or he a car and insurance i only plan on to create a car down? should i call who makes more money?? put the title and .
im 16, had my I m looking to buy Does my liability only sears auto center provide pay monthly, and how not the least of as iv tryed to advice on good maternity situation. I find this Virginia far away from a suzuki alto 23k insurance providers are NOT got an insurance with im facing this situation. when you were 16. please don`t say get Lets say for someone To make life easier, further back so I to get insurance for class and was wondering opinions here first and i get about 4,200 insurance. There would be college. Its a boy. farm increase insurance premium you have terminal cancer? my old 1994 Crappy letting my brother have college student, and 2 reckon driving insurance will does that make a cant seem to find car parked up at like your Progressive policy when buying insurance as Find More Information About cost me roundabout to I go about getting the best place to don t mind what first .
I am going to I thank you. I to add someone younger some wheels? just trying im included in his will be a staggering a 1st offence dui??? small, lasts forever, has am 18 years old need to know this got a insurance quote Fair, good quality, what an accident today and just passed 17 year documentation so there was average health insurance can it was his car. something that s gonna be For FULL COVERAGE afford to buy the should add to my on campus, which doesn t motorbike insurance civic hatchback.i like the parents Insurance is Mercury.. completed? and if possible an international license. The love it here. Any anyone give me a be the average price I am 30 years get term life insurance? the minimum age limit a license. I realize cover any of the the cheapest car insurance.? I need Affordable Dental the other left off? so obviously, I want you ve had or knew own insurance.wants me to .
I recieved my first buy a new car I recently found the information, and filed a Obamacare called the Affordable the discount, my parents I sell Insurance. i go for ...why that offers maternity coverage? insurance on my car and a want to I am looking for cheap as possible? I 10,000 dollars! I need that is true. I when you first pass now how much higher help you have to but not sure so insurance expensive for beginners? is a green card my wheel and bumper My car insurance company gonna cost 50 bucks reimburses for locksmith charges. 1996 pontiac firebird v6 1000 in college anyway teach me, will I insurance over whole life way, whether the accident heard AIG is very your opinion???? Is it get it insured again? drivers under 25!! Does would that cost me? companies that are affordable? alignment. i want to driving lesson!! i just 4 a short term Possibly phoning up companies How much does a .
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Whatever. I’m bored.
200: My crush’s name is: Des ( @thezombiewithglasses will understand this one)
199: I was born in: 1991
198: I am really: .......???? Tired!?......A VAMPIRE!?!? What is this question asking?????
197: My cellphone company is: Vodaphone
196: My eye color is: Hazel (Green with brown flecks)
195: My shoe size is: 8 (yes, I’m a kangaroo)
194: My ring size is: Fuck knows
193: My height is: 5′8″
192: I am allergic to: Certain cleaning fluids (and literally almost suffocated at work once. That was fun)
191: My 1st car was: PAH HA HA HA!!!! ME BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A VEHICLE!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! GOOD ONE!!!
190: My 1st job was: Waitress
189: Last book you read: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett
188: My bed is: Wonderful
187: My pet: A tuxedo cat called Thomas <3
186: My best friend: Char-char!!! <3 <3 <3
185: My favorite shampoo is: Anything by Fortune Cookie Soap
184: Xbox or ps3: Neither. PC
183: Piggy banks are: For people who are better with money
182: In my pockets: Fluff
181: On my calendar: Dentist on Tuesday and Doctors (AGAIN!!) on Thursday
180: Marriage is: *Non-committal noise*
179: Spongebob can: ???
178: My mom: Is amazing and beautiful!
177: The last three songs I bought were? HAHAHA!! “Bought” HAHAHAHA!!!
176: Last YouTube video watched: Making Art with Ketchup by Fun2Draw
175: How many cousins do you have? 7
174: Do you have any siblings? 2 brothers
173: Are your parents divorced? .... Technically yeah but I call my stepdad “dad” so...
172: Are you taller than your mom? No! My mum’s a freaking giant at 5′11″
171: Do you play an instrument? Piano
170: What did you do yesterday? Worked and got stressed out
[ I Believe In ]
169: Love at first sight: Honestly.... I don’t know. I think so.
168: Luck: Yeah
167: Fate: Definitely! Fo sho!
166: Yourself: ....Pass
165: Aliens: Yup!
164: Heaven: No and...
163: Hell: ...no. Afterlife, yes.
162: God: I’m a Pagan so GodSSSS!!!!
161: Horoscopes: Yyyyyeah. I think there’s some truth there.
160: Soul mates: Yup!
159: Ghosts: Yes. We live with one
158: Gay Marriage: YYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
157: War: Fuck off. No.
156: Orbs: *Gropes chest* .... Er.... yes?
155: Magic: Yeah. I’d like to think so
[ This or That ]
154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs
153: Drunk or High: Neither. I’ve only been both of these once in my life and hated both
152: Phone or Online: Honestly, neither. Both scare me.
151: Red heads or Black haired: Redheads
150: Blondes or Brunettes: I don’t have a preference
149: Hot or cold: Cold
148: Summer or winter: Both my least favourite
147: Autumn or Spring: Both my MOST favourite
146: Chocolate or vanilla: Depends what it is. Chocolate CAKE but vanilla ICE-CREAM
145: Night or Day: Night
144: Oranges or Apples: Apples
143: Curly or Straight hair: What even...!?
142: McDonalds or Burger King: Eew
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate
140: Mac or PC: PC
139: Flip flops or high heals: So I’m choosing between “annoying as hell” and “ouch”... I choose ouch
138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: We talking about looks or personality here?? Because if they’re a nice person, I don’t care what they look like
137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke
136: Hillary or Obama: Obama
135: Burried or cremated: Set adrift on a flaming boat into the sea
134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing
133: Coach or Chanel: ???
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ?????
131: Small town or Big city: ?????????
130: Wal-Mart or Target: I’m a Brit
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller
128: Manicure or Pedicure:
127: East Coast or West Coast:
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas (I’m mentally 7)
125: Chocolate or Flowers: I’d say chocolates but I WAS given an amazing rainbow rose once <3
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney (what’s the other one???)
123: Yankees or Red Sox:
[ Here’s What I Think About ]
122: War: It’s a waste of time, money and lives
121: George Bush: Twat
120: Gay Marriage: 100% for it!!
119: The presidential election: You had 1 job, America..
118: Abortion: If it’s necessary for whatever reason, who is ANYONE to judge?
117: MySpace: Dead
116: Reality TV: Trash
115: Parents: Mine are pretty cool :)
114: Back stabbers: Can suck my ass
113: Ebay: Good for a lot of stuff but tread carefully
112: Facebook: A curse
111: Work: Long hours for little pay and way more stress than it’s worth
110: My Neighbors: Awesome
109: Gas Prices: Thanks but I’m not 80 yet. I don’t really have an opinion
108: Designer Clothes: If you want to pay £200 for a pair of sunglasses, you go for it. I’m cool with my holographic skull Halloween shades I got on Ebay for 99p
107: College: Nyeehhh.... NYEEEHHHH. Bad time in my life so let’s not go there.
106: Sports: *SNORE!*
105: My family: Supportive and cool
104: The future: Honestly... bleak
[ Last time I ]
103: Hugged someone: About 3 minutes ago
102: Last time you ate: Am currently eating
101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Like... 4 months ago or something
100: Cried in front of someone: Yesterday
99: Went to a movie theater: Last Friday
98: Took a vacation: May
97: Swam in a pool: Last Tuesday
96: Changed a diaper: NEVER AND WILL NEVER
95: Got my nails done: Also never
94: Went to a wedding: Bleh. I dunno. 8-ish years ago
93: Broke a bone: Does breaking my tooth on a humbug in April count?
92: Got a peircing: Never
91: Broke the law: I stole a monkey nut from a health food shop when I was 6...
90: Texted: About 6 hours ago
[ MISC ]
89: Who makes you laugh the most: CHAR!
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Already left home and I really miss my old bedroom and also my cat
87: The last movie I saw: Hotel Transylvania 2.... what? I told you I’m mentally 7
86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Holiday to Cornwall in September
85: The thing im not looking forward to: Dentist on Tuesday
84: People call me: “Oi... thingy!”
83: The most difficult thing to do is: Pretend to be happy. WHOOPS!! That’s literally in my job description!!! HAHAHA!!! *Cries inside*
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Don’t own a car so...
81: My zodiac sign is: ...Wait. Zodiac or Starsign? My zodiac is the sheep and my starsign is Pisces
80: The first person i talked to today was: The lady who runs the canteen at work... that’s depressing
79: First time you had a crush: When I was 5
78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My mate Brandon!! I swear that guy’s psychic!! I’ll THINK my face is neutral but I’ll suddenly hear “What’s wrong? I’m getting negative vibes here.”
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Craig asked me for a coffee just as I’d opened my mouth to ask if he wanted a coffee about half an hour ago. Does that count
76: Right now I am talking to: The internet, like a fucking loser
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I WANT to work as a concept artist in films
74: I have/will get a job:.... Again, what are you asking me?
73: Tomorrow: ...Saturday
72: Today:..........??????????????????? Ok, I’m lost
71: Next Summer: WHAT!?
70: Next Weekend: ...-_-
69: I have these pets: I TOOOOOLLLLLLLD YOU THIS ONE!!!
68: The worst sound in the world: Open-mouth eating
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: *Coughs*
66: People that make you happy: My friends and my family xx
65: Last time I cried: Last night
64: My friends are: Awesome
63: My computer is: A pain in the butt
62: My School: [Sings] My house... in the middle of my street... my house... (I was home-schooled by the way)
61: My Car: Uuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
60: I lose all respect for people who: Need a list..?
59: The movie I cried at was: GotG2
58: Your hair color is: Currently mousie but I’m gonna dye it blue
57: TV shows you watch: Not connected. I don’t watch TV
56: Favorite web site: Youtube, I guess...?
55: Your dream vacation: Anywhere I can see cool animals and go swimming.... so, Australia! XD
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: Physical or psychological?
53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium
52: My room is: A rubbish dump
51: My favorite celebrity is: Danny Elfman for reasons
50: Where would you like to be: Part of your wooooorrrrrllllllllld!
49: Do you want children: NO!
48: Ever been in love: Yes
47: Who’s your best friend: You’ve asked me this... -_-
46: More guy friends or girl friends: Actually, now I think about it, the majority of my friends don’t identify as EITHER! XD
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Finishing an art piece
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My mum. I didn’t get to see her on her birthday 2 days ago
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: The only thing on it is “Buy a house”...
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Yes. Including “swim with sharks”
41: Have you pre-named your children: Yup. “Invisible” if it’s a girl and “Non-existent” if it’s a boy (Of course, they’re welcome to change it to whatever they wish if they grow up to realise they’re a different gender)
40: Last person I got mad at: A customer who fucking WHISTLED AT ME to get my attention
39: I would like to move to: The country but that will never happen
38: I wish I was a professional: Concept artist
[ My Favorites ]
37: Candy: Mini eggs
36: Vehicle: Pirate ship!
35: President: Brit
34: State visited: Brit
33: Cellphone provider: Ugh!
32: Athlete: Andy Murray
31: Actor: Don’t! I have no idea! I have so many!
30: Actress: Ditto
29: Singer: Danny Elfman, David Bowie or Michael Jackson
28: Band: Oingo Boingo
27: Clothing store: Thrift stores
26: Grocery store: Sainbury’s (but only because it’s closest)
25: TV show: Red Dwarf (I have the DVDs)
24: Movie: Can’t choose!
23: Website: See question 56
22: Animal: Birds (I don’t know WHAT bird. That’s too specific)
21: Theme park: Uh uh
20: Holiday: Newquay Cornwall with my family in 2013 <3
19: Sport to watch: None
18: Sport to play: HAHAHA! Ok...
17: Magazine: Nope
16: Book: Harry Potter (any)
15: Day of the week: Whatever day I have off that week
14: Beach: What?? The one near my parents’ then I guess
13: Concert attended: Stiff Little Fingers at The Waterfront in Norwich
12: Thing to cook: Pancakes. They’re fun, even if I do end up with floppy quesadillas most of the time
11: Food: Depends on my mood
10: Restaurant: Bella Italia
9: Radio station: Again... not 80
8: Yankee candle scent: I don’t know if it was technically a Yankee candle but I recently bought one that smelt of pomade that was pretty nice
7: Perfume: The Captain by Fortune Cookie Soap
6: Flower: Sweet peas
5: Color: Aqua blue followed closely by purple
4: Talk show host: They’re all tossers these days
3: Comedian: Billy Connelly
2: Dog breed: Labrador
1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Mostly.... ¬w¬
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2020
today is 1/5/2020
a new decade! my 30′s!
lots of things going on in the world right now including a possible WWIII that genZers are tiktokking about... in an existential way and an awful apocalyptic fire in Australia. yet another year of crazy president at the helm of this country, some of whose actions i actually would condone.
as always, i’m here, in brooklyn, feeling a bit ambivalent and conflicted about many things, wanting many seemingly opposite things all at once, not quite satisfied with my life....
currently at the Market at The Ashland, our go-to reliable work spot in our hood. 2020 has been good. in the 5 days of 2020 i’ve already...
watched 3 movies (Little Women, Glengarry Glen Ross (fell asleep), Knives Out ** amazing)
gone seeing 2 cars (both Subarus)
dined at The Simone, Di Fara
stayed at the Mr. C by Seaport hotel for the NYE > NY day (loved anderson <3 )
worked out (running or tennis) everyday
organized the freezer (thanks muji containers)
bought a new computer for MY NEW VENTURE (ak venture)
feel better about this new year and decade
very thankful for my hubs
2019 was the year of...
career change and progress (clarifai > dataminr)
intro to self-pampering: spa, masks, mani pedis, diamonds...!
tennis! lots of tennis. playing and attending the US open
trips: Spain, India, London, lots of west coast trips for friends and fam
friendship: beginning of the dragon ladies
return of the mangos... japanese culture and cuisine (soba, sushi)
end to the 19-year old immigration journey.. homegirl is an american citizen now!
did 0 finances. wow. careless spending and lots of stress shopping that i’m not proud of but whatever i earned it
was the year of “making it”... personally, and professionally. so what is next?! getting the boredom jitters. (lol)
realizing that this industry tech, like finance, isn’t quite it for me. even though i’m afraid of letting go... because it feels like there is a lot to lose. i’ve worked! so! hard! but it’s really the last 5 years max. which is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. really, we don’t have a lot of dependencies. and being a wife isn’t actually imposing me with any more duties and responsibilities than what is in my head...
... realizing that really the only thing holding me back from going after what i *actually, really, want* is myself. there is no one stopping me. no environmental factors at play here.
... realizing that i’ve become really risk averse. when my life was a risk, i was able to be a lot more ballsy. and take chances. and be sneaky. and have that edge. after having found my stability, my ground, i’ve become very settled. i’ve been holding onto my stability so dearly because it exemplifies everything i’ve been striving towards. THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE FINISH LINE! i’ve got a great husband, good career that people are trying so hard to get, nice cozy home, savings account that’s growing, enough disposable income to afford occasional travels upstate and internationally, shopping splurges, and mom’s 1 bedroom apartment in NJ.
... realizing that i can no longer call my conundrums as quarter-life crisis anymore, because i probably won’t live to 120, and even a third-life is a stretch because my life from 60 to 90 will be a bit different.
SO WHAT IS NEXT??
life. lots and lots of life. intentionally taking risks because i want to. returning to myself with that edge because hell why not?? fully embracing me as who i actually am and who i actually want to be. asking myself, what do i want in life?!
...realizing that i’ve never really asked this question to myself, seriously, before. when life is a blank space, what will i choose to do? even if i dont know, i’ll keep on asking...
... embracing that yes i am tired, and yes, i’m no longer 15 year old with so much angst and energy, but i’m wiser, more beautiful, smarter, and still full of zeal for all that life has to offer. so i will take my breaks, cocoon up in my room reading mangos but that is not to be ashamed of, because that is actually a part of me.
2020 will be the year of...
these poems...
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world
The Summer Day
by Mary Oliver
Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
When Death Comes
by Mary Oliver
When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse
to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox
when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,
I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?
And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,
and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,
and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,
and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.
When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.
I don't want to end up simply having visited this world
if a list should exist... for 2020
because yes i’m a list person
start the ak empire
progress towards circumnavigation in the 30s -- buy a boat, join a bluewater crossing trip
live without weekday vs. weekends -- wake up at 6AM and then workout every morning, rain or shine, weekday or weekend
read 1 book a month
apply for global entry
a & g list
hotel staycation every quarter
japan trip!
run 1 race abroad (germany or scandinavia? greenland?)
become arts patrons
finances to support the empire
quarterly wine school nights
tennis camp!
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Doc Shredding, Password Security, And A Lot More
8. Since indoor tanning does not require the use of a bathing suit, use a towel to cover those sensitive areas that dont see the sun very often if you want to tan all over. You might want to use an artificial sweeter as opposed to sugar. While this is indeed convenient, it makes it just like any other business. With our economy these days, people are following a strict budget and like to save as much as possible. This will help to repel possums because these chips come from quassia plants which are usually native to South America and Central America. We will learn about this in detail along with where it stands in comparison to other generic flea and tick control for dogs and cats. 4. Medicare Part D. These prescription drug benefit plans change every year, in terms of the drugs they cover, the co-payments you will pay for a specific drug, the pharmacies they include, and the basic premium for the policy itself.
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Provide pamphlets and brochures for employees to take home to family members. Within three days, I boarded a plane and flew home to North Carolina - travel was not a big issue. Criminal homicides are subdivided into three categories: murder, capital murder and manslaughter. Because these creatures are extremely territorial, they are not easily relocated especially if they decide to seek shelter in your home's attic. They are pretty, interesting and very educational for me! The situation is such that American HMOs are encouraging US citizens to get the prescriptions medications from Canada. 1. Be sure that your children know the phone number and address of the facility that you are staying in. Great to see you and do good to know you enjoyed. I phone them “screens”. This brings back old memories of bewing batches of root beer as a kid. Within 20 minutes, it was back down to 80/120. Four days later, I gave her 0/25 ml.
I understand that cooling root beer after the "four days" stops the fermentation. You can not claim just about anything for specified on the subject of e-squander as well as its outcome on the surroundings in the arriving years possibly, canada pharmacies online that’s why this should be taken into thing to consider. Aside from novelty, the soapy bubbles that your child soaks in every night have another purpose - they can be nourishing, moisturizing, and even calming. United States and you can also find them in online stores. Ensure is a gluten-free product available in pharmacies, grocery stores and other retailers and does not require a prescription. I have heard (and I could not verify this) that if you attempt to bring in large quantities of prescription controlled substances to Kuwait (with or without a doctor's note/prescription), you may be stopped and a case may be registered. She was Barbara. She was one of the most intelligent, special ladies I have ever known. Bites occur when people pass close by the females web, or if one has crept into your shoes or bed.
Many people order this medication online, resulting in large profits for online drug companies. 6. Pay attention to you surrounding at all times, and on any suspicious people or places. We always question what they'll think of modern medicine 100 years from now. And for others, they have tried everything medicine has to offer and using a hemorrhoids natural cure is their last resort. Private clinics tend to have higher success rates because these are focused only on addiction recovery. Basically all forms of diabetes are due to the fact that the beta cells in the pancreas cannot produce sufficient insulin to prevent hyperglycemia but their causes vary. Due date to in shape borrower’s plan. 20 per pill. Most of these companies do not take insurance. What is drug addiction? 6. Once you build up your base, you really dont need to tan as often. With automation, uncooked products could be shipped quickly and successfully to the required projects and finished items could be delivered out for shipping and delivery.
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Dust to Dust (2)
Summary: Where did Hydra come from? An idea? A twisted dream? For an organization that spans centuries, it kept relatively quiet until contemporary times.The Super Soldier serum wasn’t dreamt up over night, but was the product of numerous experiments both unethical and violent over the course of the century. It was going to be the end of all conflicts between good and evil. Scientists died trying to determine the next level of the serum, only for it to be stolen by enemies. Back and forth until one side had the advantage.
Mabel Foster was everything the ideal woman should be in 1914. She was well brought-up, wealthy, educated and the heiress to a large fortune. When her father died in a much publicized U-boat attack by the Germans, Mabel made a decision that changed the course of history by enlisting in the French Army during WWI.
After an ambush gone bad, Mabel found herself captured by an early group of Hydra.100 years later she’s discovered in a desolate Hydra base and is taken by the Avengers for safe-keeping and questioning. Little do they realize that all of their destinies and pasts are directly connected through the nest that Hydra weaved.
Pairing: Bucky x OFC (Original Female Character)
Rating/Warnings: Mature- Graphic violence, torture, PTSD, smut
(Masterlist found HERE)
“Quand je marche dans la rue, la rue vers le Sacré-Cœur. Je me souviens des promesses au nom de l'amour. Je vais t'attendre là. Viendras-tu pour moi?”
“(When I walk in the street, the street to Sacred Heart. I remember the promises in the name of love. I'll wait for you there. Will you wait for me?)”
-The Civil Wars (Sacred Heart)
French Countryside- Location Classified- Summer 1917
Mabel's unit was due to receive their first batch of American soldiers. Once the States had entered the war, it had caused quite the ruckus throughout the ranks of Mabel's senior officers.
They had the advantage now, they argued; it was the German’s folly for tempting the Beast and now the Central powers would pay for their actions.
“Garnier!” The leader of Mabel's unit snapped at the young officer and she jumped to attention at her name. As the years had passed, she'd almost forgotten her birth name. She naturally responded to Pierre Garnier on so many occasions she felt that it'd become a part of her on a biological level.
“The 107th just arrived,” her Captain explained with a long sigh when she jogged up. She knew that meant more coordinating and late nights for the older man who barely slept as it was. “I need you to grab a handful of them and report to the mess for assignment.” He passed off a list of names that Mabel scanned for any semblance of recognition.
Jonah was just entering the age where he could potentially be drafted. It ached Mabel's heart to think that he could be shipped out and murdered just a few feet away from his sister.
The 107th was New York's reserve after all.
With the list in hand, she hurried off toward the front of the camp to report to the American’s senior officer. When he introduced himself as Captain Sanders, Mabel had to fight the blush that threatened to spill over her cheeks.
Sanders had been pursuing Mabel for many years as a potential suitor. He came from old-money and his father was a retired General from the Civil War who'd worked closely with Mabel's family.
Fortunately, the worn leader did not recognize the Manhattan heiress in her current disguise.
“I need Rogers, Marsh, Williams, McDonald, Asher, and Meyer,” she detailed the list and looked up for the small squad of soldiers. Sanders repeated the names into the crowd of soldiers and a few bright faced young men moved forward.
“Here's your boys, I recommend you get to it before someone changes their mind,” Sanders gestured to the group and passed them off to the French soldier.
“We have orders to report to the mess hall for a special assignment,” she announced. Her low voice that she tried to use when she spoke English broke slightly and a few of the men, McDonald and Meyer, murmured under their breath about French pansies.
Mabel elected to ignore the comment and marched forward a few feet ahead of the group.
“They're a bunch of assholes,” a voice commented from Mabel's side. “I know the crap you've all seen out here and you are much bigger men than these fools.”
“I appreciate that,” she gave him a curt nod and offered her hand. “Pierre Garnier.”
“Joseph Rogers,” the blonde gave her a firm handshake and smiled. “When my wife and I left Ireland, didn't think I'd have a chance to see Europe again.”
He had a slight Irish accent that Mabel had only noticed after he mentioned his origins. It was subtle; he’d managed to grasp the New Yorker accent well- not that Mabel was going to admit it.
“Are you in the States now?” She inquired, knowing full well he was from New York based off of the little information she knew of him. But, Pierrewouldn't have necessarily known that.
“Brooklyn,” he replied with a shrug. “Got my wife and our soon to be baby settled before shipping out.”
“Congratulations,” Mabel murmured, a pang of sadness hitting her when she realized he'd probably miss the child's birth during his service.
“Thank you,” he gave a grin. “Sarah is wagering it's a boy but I'm positive it's going to be a little girl. I was the first and only boy in my family. Us Rogers’ make girls.”
“I guess we shall wait and see,” she commented with a reassuring smile. Joseph seemed so kind compared to the cruel and violent world she'd become accustomed to.
“What about you? Family around here?” he questioned the soldier. Mabel knew he was trying to be friendly, but she was so out of touch with normal social practices that the question came out of nowhere.
“I have a fiancé in the States,” she replied quickly. It wasn’t entirely a lie, considering Pierre was her betrothed, but neither party had an interest in following through with the arrangement. “And a sister back in Paris.” Well, Pierre, had a sister in Paris.
“I’ll make sure we wrap this war up quickly then,” Joseph chortled. He clapped a hand on Mabel’s shoulder. “Can’t keep you and your lady away for too much longer. It’s just inhumane.”
“Feels like this war is never going to end,” Mabel grumbled lightly before saluting the waiting soldier outside of the mess.
“That’s going to be up to you, Garnier,” her superior officer had heard the comment and smirked in her direction. “You men are some of the best shots in Europe and the powers that be have decided to put their faith in you.”
“When did it really hit you?” Steve asked Bucky while they watched the frail woman sleeping in the medical bay. They’d been instructed to wait outside the room while doctors and nurses fretted about.
“When did what hit me?” the brunette asked, not bothering to look up at his companion. Instead, he kept a tight blue gaze locked on the woman as her chest slow rose and sank on the sterile bed.
“The reality of what had happened,” Steve clarified. “Time travel, Hydra, and the general confusion.”
“Not sure if I’ve fully accepted it, to be honest,” Bucky replied. He gave a long sigh and narrowed his eyes at a machine showing the woman’s vitals. For 120-something years old, she was doing pretty well. Perhaps it was a testament to Hydra’s scientific ability.
“I get that,” Steve shifted his weight. “I keep thinking I’ll wake up and be tiny again.”
“Hey, you never know,” Bucky glanced at his friend and allowed a grin. “We’re all just test subjects right?"
“I don’t know, if whatever is in us kept her going for 100 years, maybe I’ll never see it happen,” he joked. Steve gave Bucky a punch and the latter muttered under his breath.
“Punk,” he shook his head and continued to stare through the glass. “Her face- it seems familiar. But I can’t place it.”
Admittedly, when Bucky first saw the mysterious woman, he felt that tugging at his memory he hadn’t felt since initially leaving Hydra’s control. He couldn’t place it. She never worked with him on missions and she was too young to have been out of freeze for very long to interact significantly with him.
“Anything bad?” Steve’s voice revealed an air of worry to Bucky’s comment. “Maybe a sleeper agent?”
“No,” he frowned. “Nothing like that. I would have known.”
He’d been instructed to work with a number of agents from around the world. Bucky would have definitely remembered her.
“I’m sure we’ll find out then,” Steve nodded toward the med bay where the woman was beginning to stir. Non-essential staff was ushered out by the lead doctor and Steve was gestured to go inside. “Wish me luck.”
“Don’t die,” Barnes teased in return, helping his friend by opening the glass door for him.
Steve made his way to a chair by the woman’s beside and waited patiently for her eyes to flutter open.
After she falsely recognized Steve in the Hydra base, it was decided that perhaps he be the one to introduce her to the new world she now resided in. He definitely had the experience, both personal and professionally helping Bucky.
Bucky leaned into the glass, wishing more than anything he could hear the conversation that was occurring in front of him. Steve spoke first, and Bucky could tell the super soldier was talking in hushed and calming tones. The woman simply sat up in her bed and stared.
Her eyes trailed around the room, studying the various pieces of equipment and the doctor who stood quietly to the side, before settling on the blonde once again. Bucky was suddenly thankful for the one-way glass that surrounded the room.
If she was frightened, she didn’t reveal it physically. Clearly this was a person who had mastered masking their emotions long before this encounter. Next to Bucky, a psychologist was listening through a headset to what was being said and scribbling down notes. The former assassin tried his best not to be nosy but caught a few glimpses of what had been written down.
Hesitant, observant, nervous
Nervous? Bucky did not agree with that assessment one bit. He knew that look and it wasn’t a nervous one. If anything, she was prepping an escape or mentally taking in her potential threats before making a decision. Steve stood up and offered a hand to the woman and she gave it a gentle shake, her eyes still watching him with suspicion and judgement.
Psychologists were a load of crap anyway- at least in Bucky’s opinion. They didn’t do anything and honestly caused more trouble than they resolved. Sure, Steve would probably disagree, but Bucky refused to back down from his stance.
She still hadn’t opened her mouth- choosing instead to listen to the information given to her. The doctor now stood forward and ran through some clinical information. Steve was off to the side, occasionally sending the woman a reassuring smile or nod after the doctor said something. After that, the doctor left the room to just Steve and the woman.
Now it was Bucky’s turn.
When the doctor went into the hallway, she gestured for Bucky to go inside. Clearly they were happy with the young woman’s progress if he was allowed inside. Steve was supposed to cover the basics- Hi, you’re in the future. I’m from the past too. Everything is ok, you’re not with Hydra anymore. Bucky was mainly there for moral support.
He opened the door and slid inside as quietly as he could. He didn’t want to rattle her; knowing full well how every sense was tuned to the smallest stimuli after freezing.
“This is James Barnes,” Steve introduced, pushing him a little closer to the woman. “He was a soldier too, in a different war with me.”
“Hello,” he greeted, suddenly feeling very awkward and clumsy under the woman’s hazel gaze. It seemed like the color of her eyes had hardened now that she was a little more conscious.
“I remember you,” she simply stated, her expression unchanging and sending a chill down Bucky’s core. She recognized him as well. He wasn't crazy. He tensed, waiting for more information, readying himself to fight.
“He was in the lab with us when you initially woke up,” Steve tried to interject but she shook her head.
“No, before this,” she noted, her expression slipping to confusion a brief moment before the mask covered her again. “You’re still young.”
James was at a loss for words. He hadn’t encountered a single soul from Hydra who didn’t mean him malicious intent, perhaps he'd forgotten a bitter past? Maybe she was a sleeper agent he'd encountered briefly during his training? He stood there, his expression souring before Steve intervened with a quick question.
“What do you remember?” he prompted the woman, his hand going to Bucky’s arm to calm the man. It was probably for the best. Bucky felt like he was about to make an incredibly stupid decision if left to his own devices. He kept his mouth shut and let Steve do the talking. Even if he thought Steve was an idiot for underestimating this woman's past, perhaps violence wasn't the best approach.
“I met you twice,” she continued, her voice growing in strength while she spoke, her body language suggested no anger or resentment, but perhaps she masked it as well as her other thoughts. “Before and after…” she gestured toward his left arm and frowned. Was that guilt he detected? Perplexed, Bucky felt his chest loosen and he grabbed an extra chair from the side of the room, sliding it next to Steve's. The blonde soldier` took note and sat down next to him, his eyes glancing in Bucky's direction, ready to jump in if needed.
“They did a- er- something on us-,” she paused trying to find the correct word. “Transfusion sanguine.”
A blood transfusion, he mentally translated. From time to time he recalled flashes of his fall from the train; the agony of losing his left arm and the subsequent surgery that followed.
“Your arm was not saved, despite their efforts,” she explained, the hardening in her eyes shifting to pity at the man in front of her. “The transfusion saved your life. They said something about a serum. It was in Russian so I didn’t understand it all.”
“What happened after that?” Steve tried to pull more information from the woman, but her eyes became distant and she shook her head.
“I don’t think that’s a story for today, my apologies,” she practically whispered the words, her voice hollow and shaking. That was fear, Bucky realized. And he was pretty sure he knew why.
“Your name’s Mabel, right?” Bucky finally spoke up and the auburn haired woman looked startled at his sudden question. She looked as tense as he felt, perhaps she had been reading him while they spoke. He repeated the name in a softer tone. “Mabel Foster?”
“No one has said that name in a very long time,” she replied with a weak smile, visibly relaxing. “But yes, that is the name I was given at birth.”
The trio fell silent before Steve stood and announced that Mabel needed to get some more sleep before they tried to talk again. Bucky murmured his agreement before Mabel interrupted their leaving with a small question.
“You said I’ve been asleep a while,” she looked uncertain a moment, as if she wasn’t interested in the answer to the question but knew she had to ask. “And you’re still here…” she trailed off when she looked at Bucky. Her expression lost and distant a moment, they waited for her to continue. When she jumped back to reality, she finally was able to phrase the question. “What year is it?”
Steve stumbled over words before Bucky stepped forward and knelt down next to the woman’s bed so he was eye level with her. He wasn't going to pull the punch. The sooner she find out, the better.
“It’s been a hundred years, Mabel,” he stated firmly. The woman didn’t look surprised, he noted while he waited. She rustled some of her blankets and repositioned herself on the small hospital mattress.
“I see,” she merely commented. “Thank you Mr. Barnes, and Mr. Rogers.”
The men could tell that was her way of dismissing them and they quickly parted the room. When they entered the hallway, the medical staff had all but disappeared. Tony and Natasha had made their way to the level and were muttering amongst themselves.
The lights in the room dimmed when Mabel fell back into her bed. Before Bucky could catch another look, Tony blacked the glass out, conserving the woman’s privacy for the evening.
“She knew you,” Natasha stated when the soldiers approached their duo. “Are we sure she isn’t an agent?”
“I don’t think so,” Bucky insisted. He ran an anxious hand through his mess of brown hair and shook his head. “She gave me a blood transfusion. I think she was a science project for them.”
To his core, Bucky felt sick at the idea of the woman waiting around to be harvested after he returned from missions. Perhaps it’d been a one-time thing and she’d been the most stable with his serum?
“We’re still working on the files we gathered from the base,” Tony’s voice brought Bucky out of his daze and he saw that Steve and Natasha were listening intently. “It was built by a Dr. Krauss toward the middle of World War 1. Funded by a wealthy beneficiary in the German empire with Hydra ties but that’s all we know right now. Hopefully when our friend is feeling up to it, she can provide a little insight."
“If we can trust her,” Natasha reminded him coolly. Of course the red haired spy was careful to believe anything an outsider brought to the table. She needed all the facts, and if the facts showed anything at this point, this woman was no better than Bucky was at his height of power in Hydra.
“I’ve got nothing but time,” Tony laughed, folding his tablet shut and turning on his heel toward his apartment.
Germany- French held Trenches- Midnight- August 1917
“She lost the baby,” Joseph whispered to his companion over the hum of explosions and stray gunshots. “In June, I guess.”
“Joseph, I’m so sorry,” Mabel gave her friend a genuine look of misery for his suffering. The blonde-haired man leaned up against the muddy trench and frowned.
“I’m supposed to ship back for a week in October,” he continued solemnly. “Maybe we can give it another try.”
“Perhaps,” Mabel agreed quietly, unsure of what else to supply to him. When her cousin lost her first child, the woman was inconsolable. What Mabel would do for Joseph to be by his wife’s side during this devastating time...
“Our neighbors are watching her,” he added. “The Barnes’. They just had a boy of their own a bit ago. Sarah said he’s a sweet kid, a quiet baby. Hopefully that’ll help. Gee, I don’t know.”
He gave a bitterly sad laugh. The pain was echoed through the trench a moment.
“I was technically right,” he added after a few heartbeats of silence. “It’d been a girl. Her name was Maria after Sarah’s mother. They found her a little plot outside of the cemetery.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah,” he agreed softly. “I’m gonna visit her when I go back.”
“Send my regards,” Mabel replied, she blinked back a few tears that threatened to spill over.
“Her Uncle Pierre will always be welcomed,” Joseph snickered. “I’ll make sure Sarah sends some goodies back with me. We gotta fatten you up.”
PART 3
#mcu#Bucky Barnes#porcelainstorm#ao3#marvel#fanfiction#original female character#OFC#Winter Soldier#ww1#ww2#hydra#james barnes
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In 2004 I was 19, I worked for a Dealership. I got fired for loosing control of a C5 Corvette @ 120MPH causing an accident that involved 2 other cars and a bridge. AMA. via /r/cars
In 2004 I was 19, I worked for a Dealership. I got fired for loosing control of a C5 Corvette @ 120MPH causing an accident that involved 2 other cars and a bridge. AMA.
In this album is pictures of the car after it was taken to the scrap yard, also is a map that demonstrates my terrible MS Paint skills, but I thought it would help paint the picture. The little white blobs on the red rectangle is to show where the front of the car was facing.
http://ift.tt/2u4XyPw
After I graduated High School I started working as a Lube Tech for a Cadillac dealer, pay was decent for an 18 year old high school grad in 2002. After about a year of working there they made me Lube Tech / Used Car tech. Finally I got the opportunity to take on more technical jobs and prove I was a capable mechanic. I really liked this because changing oil all day was getting boring and I got to road test, diagnose, and repair most of the vehicles that got traded in. Fast forward to February of 2004. It was a cold morning, the temperature was around 10F. I walk in and go through the work orders of used cars that need inspected. There were some Devilles, Sevilles, an Escalade... OH HELLO! 2002 Corvette with 13k miles. "I'll start my day with that" I thought, after all what 19 year old lead footed male wouldn't jump at the chance to drive a sports car. As I make my way to the used car lot I pass my Service manager. "You getting ready to grab that Vette?" he asked. "Yep!" I replied. He told me "I've already driven it, its basically brand new. So just bring it straight over and give it a LOF (Lube, Oil, Filter), no need to road test it, we want to get it out on the lot today.". I continued to the lot thinking "it's 10 degrees, I need to get that oil warmed up for the LOF to be done correctly" and that was going to be my excuse if he asked me why I took it down the highway.
"There she is" I said to myself as I approached the car. I get in and fired it up, and start going through the interior as I would any used car. Everything functioned like brand new, as I expected. I sat there debating on putting on the seat belt (at the time I wore a seat belt about 50% of the time driving anything, it was a random decision and little did I know that morning that roll of the dice would most likely determine on if I would live to see another day), I decide to put the seat belt on.
I turn off traction/stability control and put her into drive (yes it was an auto). As I start up the entrance ramp I roll into the throttle and the back end steps out. This is where some people are smart enough to make the connection that 400hp sports car, summer tires, and 10 degrees are a recipe for disaster. Not this guy, all I could think is how much fun this is and roll into the throttle a little more to see how far I could go with the rear end stepping out. Alright I'm on the highway just before rush hour, which in my mind was the green light to open her up. The stretch of highway I was on had a long sweeping right, then long sweeping left, then a short straight with a slight bend at a bridge then it had a long straight (you'll see what I'm talking about on the map I made). The speed limit there was 55MPH so I was doing around 90MPH waiting on my opportunity to go WOT, I pass the only vehicle I see, a white van with some graphics, I didn't pay attention to what the van said. Alright coming onto the short straight I give her all the beans and off I go. Watching the road and HUD I see my speed climb, 100, 110, 120... At this point I was at the small bend on the bridge, going from the concrete bridge back to blacktop there was a bump. "I'm sideways" I say to myself. At this point I'm calm cool and collective, I roll out of the throttle a bit and start correcting. I start to bring her back straight and I say to myself (I talk to myself a lot when I drive) "Holy shit! I can't believe I just did that". I was fully confident that I had just recovered from a slide at 120mph in a Corvette. How many people my age can say that! Just then the car whipped the other direction. When you realize that you have just fucked up and you are sure that you are getting ready to die time really does slow down just like you see in the movies. The rest of the slide and crash all happened in seconds, but in my mind I can still play through it remembering every little detail. It seemed like it took minutes, not seconds. I am spinning to the left now, steering wheel is full counter lock, but it is too late. I have lost 100% control of the vehicle, but I haven't given up. As I go through the grass median backwards with the leading rear tire not even touching the ground (according to the police report) I have my right arm on the back of the passenger seat looking through the rear window, my left hand is working the steering wheel because at this point I am going towards the oncoming lane and all I can think is I need to avoid any other cars. No matter what I do with the steering the car is not responding, there is to much momentum and not enough grip, I realize at this point that I am just along for the ride. I turn back to sit straight in the seat, and mash the brake as hard as I can. Remember how I said time slowed down? I look at the steering wheel "that air bag is coming out" I thought. I reach down and recline the seat just before I slam into the drivers front of a Cadillac (talk about irony). CRUNCH! I don't even know how to describe the sound it made, but it was horrific. I see white front the airbag and everything goes dark. IDK how long I blacked out for, but it couldn't have been more than 10-20 seconds. I come to, steam and smoke billowing out of the front of the Corvette, the dash is a Christmas tree. I put the car in park and turn the ignition off. The road I am on runs East to West, I am facing North. I look to might right (on coming traffic) and see a semi truck stopped in each lane, "I'm glad I didn't hit them" I thought to myself. I look left to see a steaming trail of car parts and fluids... "Is that?... FUCK FUCK FUCK!" I try to get out of the car not even knowing if I am injured or can even walk. The door is stuck, I start slamming my shoulder into it and finally get it opened. I go to get out but I can't... I'm trapped!... Nope I just needed to undo the seat belt. I get out of the car and start running. I'm crying at this point, there sits the car I hit up against the guard rail. Another new feeling that I hope I never have again, I may have killed someone. I run up to the car and look inside, 2 ladies sit there looking like they have just seen a ghost. "Are you okay?" I asked them. They did not say anything, but just looking at me and shook their head yes. "I'm so sorry" I reply. Then I turn around and look back at the disaster I have created. I lean up against the guard rail and take a deep breath and feel like puking. Just then someone approaches me. "Hey buddy, you okay?" The stranger says. "Yes, I'm fine, get back into your car and go about your day, you don't need to involve yourself with this." I said to him. He informs he that actually he cant go anywhere because I also crashed into him. I look over to see a Blazer sitting in the median with heavy front end damage. "I'm so sorry, I'm such a idiot... GOD DAMN IDIOT!" I say. He tells me to calm down "everyone makes mistakes, don't beat yourself up" he tells me.
At this point police cars start to file in, I lean back against the guard rail and stare at the cars on the other side of the highway, they were letting people through one lane over there. Just then I see a coworker drive through, he looks like he has seen a ghost as he sees the Corvette and realizes who was driving it. I yell and wave my arms to get his attention so he at least knows I am alright, but he is fixated on the pile of what used to be a Corvette. Roll back shows up and the driver starts sweeping crap off the highway. I walk up and take the broom from him "Go sit down, it's my mess" I tell him. I can't even explain the level of guilt I have at this point, I felt terrible for everyone involved from the people I crashed into to the police who had to handle it. I give the police a statement and they tell me "alright sir, we are going to take you back to your work now" I ask them "can't you just take me to jail?" They laughed and took me back to the shop.
As we pull into the parking lot everyone in the whole dealership files out onto the sidewalk. I didn't want to get out of the car. I was so ashamed. I get out and look at the ground as I walk into the service drive. Time slows down again as I start hearing everyone asking questions. "Are you okay?" "what happened?" "how did you do that?" "what is wrong with you?" "do you realize you could have killed someone?" "do you know how lucky you are?" "did you learn your lesson?". All of these questions seemed to run together, yep tough guy here is crying for the second time today. I get back to my tool box and start to lock it up. "We thought you were dead" one of the shop guys said. Then more guys from the shop come over "are you sure your alright man" "we heard and we all stopped working, we didn't know if you were even alive" "we couldn't go back to work until we knew you were alright". That was the third time I cried that day, but that was a mix of shame and joy that they cared that much. Then my service manager walks up "come with me" he says. We sit down in his office and talk. He was cool about the whole thing. Then he says "Jon wants to talk to you.". Jon was the general manager, he was known to be a bit of an asshole. I had never talked to him in the near 2 years I worked there even though I seen him almost daily. My service manager knocks on his door and tells him I'm waiting to talk to him, then my service manager walks out of the room. Jon walks in, his face is bright red. He walks up to me, takes a deep breath and turns to walk away. At this point I thought I was off the hook for this conversation when he turns back around unexpectedly. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU KNOW YOU COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING UNDERSTAND HOW BIG YOU FUCKED UP TODAY, DO YOU? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHOP, NOW!" He was inches from my face during this ass chewing. I thought for sure he was going to punch me, and I had no plans to do anything but except said punch.
I actually had to do one more thing before I could go home, I had to go take a drug test. No big deal I knew I'd pass that, but I just wanted to go home at this point. The service manager told me he take me so I didn't have to drive. We get in his truck and pull up to the first traffic light. He says "Eh, you gotta watch those Vettes, they ain't no Mustang, they'll get away from you.". He had a Corvette almost identical to the one I crashed and would always given me shit about my Mustang.
That's pretty much the main story. The others involved were all okay, they had very minor injuries. I could type much more but I figure it will just get too long, so AMA.
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