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#like people have the right to complain babe. the voting this year was a mess and the jury has been hated for years.

treasure-hwa · 3 years

Text

as stubborn as you

pairing: seonghwa x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy, a tentative of enemies to lovers

synopsis: it's been a long way since they were kids and best friends. They consider themselves arch-enemies, but are they really?

word count: 4528

author's note: I took TOO LONG to write this one, I know! But it’s here and it’s here on this precious star’s birthday!!! I hope you all enjoy reading this. By the way, yes, I changed the story from “pocky challenge” to “pepero challenge”.

taglist: @winterviolet1 @multidreams-and-desires @ateezinmymind @devil-mp3 @little-precious-baby @hwaddict @trinityhasjams @hwa-luvs because when I did my little survey on what should I write, you voted for Hwa <3 @suni-ho

The doorbell rang and, from the bathroom, you heard your brother yelling for you to get the door. You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath, preparing yourself to see that boy's face and try not to punch it. As you opened the door, a body crashed on yours and you didn't even need to see the face to see who it was.

— Wooyoung!

— Babe!

He kissed your cheek and moved away so the other boys could greet you too, but the last one barely looked at you, he seemed displeased to see you there, as if you didn't have the right to be at your own house. It was enough to see him at school, but in your house too?

Who is he, the reader must be asking. He was Park Seonghwa, your arch-enemy. How does one become an arch-enemy? Easy. Park Seonghwa was incredibly annoying and too perfect at everything he did, which was a lot. Class president, student council, volleyball and soccer player and dancer. To top it all, unfortunately, he was your younger brother's best friend and a member of your friend group, so you saw each other too often.

Didn't Yeosang, your brother, know how much you disliked his friend? You both were constantly picking on each other, everything the other said was a reason to eye rolls and scoffs. Quite annoying and immature of you two, the group friend thought, even if they were used by that now.

— Hi, guys, — Yeosang came out of the bathroom, sat on the couch beside Hongjoong and looked at you and his older friend on the door. — Are you two gonna spend the whole afternoon there?

Seonghwa smirked and let out the first teasing of the day:

— I know I’m a very important person, but you don’t need to wait for me to get in and sit to do the same.

You breathed deeply and pushed the door close, almost slamming it.

— Anyways… what are we doing today?

— I brought my new dancing game! — Yunho exclaimed and took the game out of his backpack. — Who wants to play it?

Everybody raised their hands and started asking if they could dance to certain songs, and to your surprise, Seonghwa said the same song you did, and it only fueled him to win over you, because that was one of his favorite songs, he had to be better. Everybody was shocked that you two had at least one thing in common.

— You dance? Since when? I thought your motor coordination was super bad — Seonghwa teased, raising an eyebrow.

— For your information, yes, I do dance and I am very good at it, thank you.

— Up for a challenge?

You two glared at each other, if you were a cartoon, there would be fire on your eyes. Most of the time, your group friend would hate your competitiveness, but it could be fun right now, so they rushed you to get up and Yunho put on the dance game.

It was a girl group song, in which you knew he was amazing at dancing, just as perfect as he was on all the other things he did, but even knowing that, you had to do better, so both put heart and soul on the performance, moving bodies exactly like the figure on the TV was doing.

By the end of the dance, you were panting, sweating and collapsed on the floor. Wooyoung quickly jumped over Seonghwa's body to sit behind you and put your head on his lap, complimenting your dance skills.

— Was it worth it? Did you have fun? — Jongho asked, looking at you, not amused at all.

— Of course… it was. I was… better — Seonghwa spoke between inhaling and exhaling air.

— You weren’t! I was!

— Ha! As if! I am the best.

— Listen here, Park...

— Here we go again.

— Mom, mom!

— In the backyard!

Seven-year-old you had just arrived from school, your dad went to pick you up, while your mother went to pick your younger brother from his school. You ran to the backyard just to be greeted with a tight hug from a slightly smaller boy, that was not Yeosang, still in his school uniform.

— Noona!

— Wooyoung! — You laughed and hugged your brother’s best friend back. — I’ll play with you and Yeosang in a second, okay?

He nodded and went back to the other boy playing ball. You went to your mother and told her:

— Mom, I need to do a project in a group with two boys.

— Really? And are they your friends?

— No. — You pouted. — I don’t know them well.

— There is no problem, sweetheart, ask them for their phone numbers and I’ll call their parents to invite them over so you can work on the project. Does that sound good?

— Yes, mom, thanks!

Then, you ran towards the two six-year-old boys running, playing a weird kind of two-people tag.

In the same week, your mother called the boys' parents and scheduled a day for them to come to your house. When they arrived, you smiled big and welcomed them, they were Hongjoong and Seonghwa.

After some minutes of talking, you noticed Hongjoong talked more and had a nice colorful backpack, which he proudly showed saying his mom had painted it for him. Excited, you told him he should be the group leader since he looked confident in everything. Seonghwa was quieter, but heard and looked at everything attentively, so he agreed with you. Even if he was older, Hongjoong sounded more suited for the position.

When you were doing the project, colouring and writing, a loud voice and quick footsteps were heard, coming closer to the living room, where the three of you were. The voice owner was Wooyoung, who came to play with Yeosang again, however he changed his path to see you first and didn't like seeing another guy so close to you, looking at what you were writing and speaking quietly to not disturb anyone.

— Noona! Who is he?

— Oh, hi, Woo! They are my friends, Hongjoong — you pointed to the boy across you with the mullet, — and Seonghwa — you pointed to the boy beside you, wearing a red hoodie. — We are doing school stuff.

The boys waved to the younger one.

— I didn't know you had a brother — Seonghwa said.

— I do, but it isn't him, Woo is my brother's best friend. I can introduce you to Yeosang later.

And you did when it was break time. Your mother prepared snacks for the five kids and called all of you to sit at the dinner table, where your friends met your brother and they instantly clicked, though Yeosang was a little shy around strangers.

— Wooyoung! Don’t make a mess — you warned him and cleaned his cheek.

— Sorry~

Seonghwa and Wooyoung weren't the best of the friends right from the start and they still had little fights over the years, but you never understood them. Their friendship definitely grew though.

That was the beginning of the group, when you and Seonghwa were super friends. The others just came along the way.

The restaurant table was large enough for the nine of you, having a booth around its three sides, however Wooyoung insisted on coming closer to you, which didn’t make you uncomfortable at all. You had discussed it before, your feelings hadn't changed since you were little kids, you would always be best friends, you would be his noona and he would be your dongsaeng. The flirt and teasing was just for comedy. He was just a super sweet person who had to give love to who he loved the most, and you accepted his love because it was him.

— Wooyoung, we can't just drown ourselves in this gigantic glass of soda! You are crazy if you think I'm swallowing all this in seconds.

— You are just a coward.

— Hey, that's no way to talk to your noona! — You took the glass out of his hand, then held his face.

— Oh, shut up — he rolled his eyes fondly.

— Make me.

The moment was broken by an annoyed voice:

— Why don’t you two just get a freaking room? We don’t want to see your flirting.

You scoffed and diverted your eyes from Wooyoung, who was now grinning, and placed them on Seonghwa, who was sitting at the extremity of the booth, sipping his soda and looking out of the big window.

— Are you jealous, Seonghwa?

— Huh, you wish!

— Never in a million years. — You threw a saggy french fry on him, and the boy gave you a murderous look, ready to throw it back on you, but everybody stopped you two before things could get violent and you all were banned from the restaurant.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

— I just can't stand him!

— Yet, you talk about him every time you get the chance — Yeosang spoke nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on his video-game.

— But I'm complaining about his behavior.

— You just hate that he is better than you in certain things — he mumbled back.

You inhaled deeply, remembering how your scores on that dance game were always close to his, but never better.

— It's not that… he just annoys me.

Yeosang was right, but you would never agree outloud. When you were thirteen, Seonghwa started being the best student of the class, the best boy of the school, the most talented, everybody loved him. You were just there, beside him, even if you were a great student too, nobody really paid attention to you.

It came a time where not even Seonghwa would pay attention to you. He would hang out with his new friends, with Hongjoong, with the group, but only when you weren’t with them. He talked to you just the bare minimum and it hurted that it seemed like the “fame” he had in school got to his head. Seonghwa wasn’t the same quiet boy you had met when you were seven, so you decided to not be the excited girl you were back then with him.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

— But seriously, when will Wooyoung just ask her out? It's getting annoying how he never makes a real move.

Hongjoong paid attention to what his friend was talking even if he was choosing new clothes, but the boy didn't believe what he had just heard.

— What are you even talking about, Seonghwa? You know he doesn't like her like that. They are just super close friends.

— I don't know, something on those two just doesn't smell good.

— Yeah, that's your jealousy, because he is still her friend, but you are not. Now, let's go, I'll try this one.

Jealousy? Pff, please! The boy thought while he followed Hongjoong to the fitting room. Why would he be jealous? Just because you chose Wooyoung over him? It was no big deal, Wooyoung was your friend before he had showed up in your life. Sure it annoyed him when you all were younger that you kept meeting up with Wooyoung, when Wooyoung wasn’t present in the group because he was watching a movie with you, when Wooyoung was always hugging you out of nowhere... he may have distanced himself that time.

But it wasn’t jealousy, he convinced himself. Not now. He had nothing to be jealousy of if he didn’t even like you.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

Two weeks later, now at Jongho's house, you had a full studying day. While you, Hongjoong and Seonghwa were in the last year of high school, Yeosang, Yunho, Wooyoung, San and Mingi were in their second year and Jongho was alone in first year. He saw it as an opportunity to nag his hyungs and noona to help him. Needless to say, no one resisted him that long.

The studying session, however, was messy. Snacks crumbles were all over the place, covering books and the floor, San even dropped his chocolate milk on the table. You had a break time to eat something real, so Jongho and Yunho poured soda on glasses and everybody made their own sandwiches to their own likes. Later, you ate ice cream and had to hear a long discussion about mint choco ice cream between San and Hongjoong. You were about to scream, but Seonghwa took a napkin and pressed it against San’s mouth, saying “shut up! I don’t wanna hear any more words”. It worked.

After the studying was over, it was clean time. While you liked everything clean, you hated cleaning, so of course you didn't volunteer yourself. But, through a rock, paper, scissors game, it was decided that you and Seonghwa would do the dishes and clean the living room while Yeosang, Yunho and Hongjoong went to get real dinner. The others went to lay in the backyard and "breath fresh air since the weather is so nice".

— Do you think it is a good idea to let them together? They hate each other. — Yunho commented while Hongjoong started his old car.

— They really don't — Hongjoong answered. Yeosang agreed.

While that, you and Seonghwa were washing plates and throwing knives at each other. Not literally though. Not yet.

— Why are you so bad at rock, paper, scissors? — He teased. — You hate cleaning, should have done better.

— Me?! You were the one who played late and still lost! What did you even do that?

— Well, because I…

You didn’t let him finish, because your head was almost exploding, so you threw drops of water on his face, which soon expressed pure shock. Quickly, he wetted his hands and did the same to you.

— Are you a child?!

— Are you made of sugar?

So a water war started, leaving you both with humid hair and wet faces. It only ended because you slipped on droplets of water on the floor and he caught you before you could hit your head on the counter behind you. When he pulled you forward, you collided with his chest and was at a loss for words for some seconds.

— Are you alright?

You nodded slowly and got away from him when you heard the boys were coming back inside.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

When your birthday came, you were excited and welcomed all the boys and a few girl friends, who couldn't understand why you disliked Seonghwa that much. The boy was perfect and so nice with everyone. You would always roll your eyes with that. Anyways, they all gave you gifts and enjoyed the small party, one of them hoping to see a certain friend of yours. You would play cupid someday.

Wooyoung entered your house jumping on you as always, kissing your cheek and screaming "happy birthday!". He was a cutie, but, one day, you would lose your hearing. Seonghwa came last and gave you a square shaped gift, not hugging you, just shaking your hand and offering a pause on the rivalry.

— It's your birthday, you should be happy and be better than me at least today.

You smiled, thanked him, but still squeezed his hand until he was saying sorry.

— Come on in, try not to be a pain in the ass. I know sometimes you can’t control it.

— You are it! Ah, nice outfit by the way.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, taking his gift to your room, you would open all of them later. When you came back to your party, you saw one of your girl friends talking to Seonghwa and… laughing hard? What was wrong with her? He wasn’t even funny.

— Planning his murder again? — Hongjoong bumped his shoulder with yours, following your eyes to Seonghwa.

— What? No! I mean, yes. All the time.

— You can’t fool me, stop lying.

— I’m not lying. He’s here just because he is part of the group.

— You know… he has been talking to me about you.

— Has he? What did he say? — you answered eagerly.

The boy laughed and shook his head.

— I think he doesn’t like how Wooyoung is so close to you.

— Well, it sounds like a him problem — you mumbled. — We are just friends.

While you changed the topic and diverted your attention from the other boy, Seonghwa had excused himself from your friend and went to take a glass of soda. Yeosang followed his friend and asked if he had brought a gift.

— Of course I did. We may be arch-enemies, but it’s her birthday. I know how to be decent.

— And what did you give her? I hope it’s not a bomb.

— It isn’t. — He gave a small smile, but hid it behind his glass.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

When you were alone in your room, you opened the gifts you had received. They were all very nice, you loved them all, but Seonghwa’s probably got deeper to your heart. It was simple, nothing fancy, but held memories of when you were little kids.

— Hwa! You came!

— Of course I did! Is Wooyoung here? — He peeked inside your house. — It’s quiet.

— He is not. — You laughed. — Yeosang went to his house, so today is just me and you. And my mom, but me and you! Hongjoong couldn’t come, he had guitar lessons.

The boy nodded and widened his eyes before speaking again:

— My mom made cookies for us. I-I helped her. — He smiled and handed you a pretty pink container with chocolate cookies inside.

— Really?! That’s so cool! Thank you, Hwa.

That day, you sat around the living room center table, ate the delicious cookies that he insisted on not telling you the recipe, with crayons, colored pencils and paper scattered around you while you two drew and painted several things. You ended up drawing the two of you plus Hongjoong, to symbolize the best friends group formed two years ago in school, but, when you exchanged drawings at the end of the day, you noticed he had drawn only you and him eating cookies and hearts and flowers. It was pretty, so you kissed his cheek before he entered his car.

So, yes, when you saw the same pink container with the same special cookies — you have always loved them, but Seonghwa never told you the recipe — and the drawing you had made years ago inside the gift wrapping, your heart might have clenched and your eyes stung with tears. You kind of missed the old times.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

Joining the boys that night was an idiot choice. You realized that the moment Mingi suggested playing Truth or Dare. Why did he even suggest that? Everybody agreed excitedly, so it was a dead end, at least it wasn't like they would order you to kiss any of them.

But you were wrong. You were so wrong.

As the bottle spun and stopped at you and Yeosang, you knew he would have no mercy. He asked the question and, for some unknown reason, you answered dare. Maybe you would like to see what he had in mind.

Not good things, you concluded after he said "do the pepero game with Seonghwa". You and the boy choked on your own saliva, looking away for a moment. San took the candy out of its package and offered it to his friend.

— Seonghwa? No way. Step aside, I can do this for you — Wooyoung suggested, winking to you, making you smirk playfully.

— No. I’ll do it — the eldest spoke up, making your eyes widen.

Seonghwa took the chocolate stick from San's hand and placed one of the ends between his perfect teeth. Rolling your eyes, but sweating on the inside, you got closer and refused to touch him in any way, which he approved. You put the pepero in your mouth and when San said “start!”, both your and Seonghwa’s mouths got closer, going forward on the stick.

Nobody thought you two would really do it, they actually expected you to poke each other’s eyes with the candy at the moment Yeosang set the dare. But you loved a challenge, so maybe that was why you two were not stopping. Seonghwa’s hand went to the side of your neck, thumb placed gently on your jaw, and, surprisingly, you said nothing, just kept getting closer and closer, dangerously close.

— Will they… — Jongho started, but did not finish as an impossible scene was happening in front of his eyes. — They are....

The dark chocolate pepero disappeared inside your mouths as they were glued together, sharing a rather steamy kiss. Your hands were entangled in his gray hair and your mind could only think “his hair is soft, his tongue is soft, his lips too and they are so skillful”.

You kept going until Yunho came back from the bathroom and yelled at surprise. At that moment, your minds seemed to clear from some kind of hypnosis and you pushed each other far. You exclaimed “who wants more soda?” and ran to the kitchen, while Seonghwa rested his back on the couch behind him and wiped his mouth with his shirt.

Yeosang went after his sister and the other six boys glared at Seonghwa with a confused look, demanding an explanation. In the kitchen, you downed glasses of water as if they were vodka shots.

— What are you doing?

— Taking his disgusting taste out of my mouth.

Your brother took your shoulders and turned you to him, looking deep in your eyes.

— Stop lying to yourself — he whisper-yelled to your face. — You like him, it’s okay!

— I don’t! It was just…

From the living room, you heard Mingi shouting:

— I can’t believe you really did the Pepero challenge with her! Isn't her your rival or something like that?

— Yes, of course. And? — Seonghwa answered, trying to sound nonchalant while fixing the strands you messed.

— Dude, you just kissed her instead of stopping eating the candy. You’re not rivals. — Yunho slapped his shoulder, as if he was comforting the friend.

— We are! I didn’t even like their kiss that much.

You couldn’t contain yourself, so you shouted back for him to listen:

— Oh, yes, Park Seonghwa, sure you didn’t like my kiss, but maybe you should tell that to your tongue. That was disgusting!

An ovation was heard from the boys and Seonghwa stomped to the kitchen, meeting you in the middle of the way.

— Disgusting, you say now, but your tongue sure didn’t mind when it joined mine. And your hands! They… They were all over my hair! — His fingers pushed his hair back and, once again, you thought how soft it was. — Stop staring!

After shaking your head, you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks and his eyes were restless, searching a safe spot to look at.

— But you held my neck first! You’re not any better.

— Do you two want a little… private time to discuss your feelings? — Yeosang tried, holding a laugh in, because, yes, it was very funny how you and Seonghwa tried to deny your feelings, when he knew this mutual hate was nothing more than masked desire bullshit.

— No! — both shouted together.

Before you run up the stairs to your bedroom, you stuttered and attacked:

— Your… your breath stink!

His eyes widened and of course he could not let you have the last word, let alone those words, so, yes, he followed you, shouting “it doesn’t!”. Your brother laughed at the way the boy’s cheeks were even redder and went back to the living room, offering to watch a movie to his other friends.

Seonghwa arrived at your room before you could close the door and held it with his foot.

— Go away, freak.

— No! Take it back.

— Take what back, Seonghwa? — you sighed, getting tired from the situation.

— My breath doesn’t stink. Take that back.

— I’ll need to check again.

All your movements ceased when you realized what you had said. The boy was still processing if he heard correctly. You left your spot by the door and threw yourself on the bed.

— Did you really say what I think you did?

— Depends. — Your voice came out muffled by the pillow. — What do you think you heard?

As the mattress dipped with additional weight, you shut your eyes, not wanting to look at him. You had basically confessed, right? Slowly, you sat up and kept your stare at your fingers, playing with them if they were the most interesting thing you had ever seen.

— I’m so-

— What are you waiting for then? Kiss me again and check it.

Your eyes widened and you turned your whole body to him. Seonghwa didn’t want to waste any more time, so he cupped a side of your face and leaned in to get your lips with his. The boy’s mouth was moving with yours slowly, tasting it the best he could and his breath definitely didn’t stink.

Going past the shock, your hands went up to his hair once again, caressing his nape and slightly pulling him closer to you, because it was the best kiss you have ever had — among three: your first one, the one that happened earlier that night and the present one —, but still wasn’t enough. Seonghwa’s kisses had plenty of the feelings that your first kiss with your pre-adolescence crush lacked, and you were already addicted. Call it whatever, but you secretly hoped he would kiss you forever.

This desire, however, couldn’t be fulfilled, because air was a thing and apparently you had to get it, but the kiss sure left you feeling on cloud nine.

— So… — he said low, his breath fanning over your wet lips. — Does my breath stink?

— Yeah… no. You’re free of this.

You opened your eyes slowly only to be met with a pair of big, round, shining eyes. The shining eyes you would always notice when you were kids.

— Hey, uhm… I know we are arch-enemies, but… — The boy scratched his neck, looking away from you. — What if we were arch-enemies with benefits?

You wanted to laugh and tease him, but the offer was interesting, so you asked more information about the concept.

— Like… we can hug, kiss, talk, maybe hang out together, but we still tease and compete with each other?

Reader must now be laughing at how silly the boy was, but he looked 100% serious and you gave it a thought before agreeing.

— If I get to kiss and tease you, it’s okay for me.

He chuckled and pulled you to another kiss, that didn’t last because you two were giggling and smiling too much.

— Can we hang out together soon? Just the two of us, I mean. — He caressed your cheek, noticing how it was warm.

— Like a date?

He stumbled on his own words, but nodded.

— Like a date.

— You are so whipped for me, Seonghwa.

— Shut up!

#ateezlovenet #park seonghwa #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #seonghwa x fem reader #ateez x reader #seonghwa fluff #hongjoong #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho

154 notes · View notes

babbushka · 4 years

Text

Hide Your Smile

Flip Zimmerman x Reader

11.5k ; Warnings for: Dark!fic (graphic depictions of violence [drunken violent outbursts, domestic violence, domestic abuse {physical and verbal}], blood and gore, graphic brutal murder, mild stalking, possessive behavior), & NSFW content (Car sex/fingering)

Also available on AO3!

(this fic was written in collaboration with my amazing friends and followers here. Thank you all so much for voting in the polls to determine this oneshot, I hope you enjoy it!)

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You don't own me I'm not just one of your many toys You don't own me Don't say I can't go with other boys

And don't tell me what to do Don't tell me what to say And please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display 'cause

You don't own me...

Darkness, all around.

Nothing but hot wet earth, mud sinking under your feet, swallowing you whole.

Rain, thudding against the ground, against your back as you are chased by a monster in the night, bitter breath haunting the back of your neck, the hair rising on your arms only to be drenched down by the torrential downpour flooding your lungs.

The world blurs around you, and you can’t tell, can’t tell which way is up, which way is forward. Things feel slow, thick, you blink but the spots only multiply. There’s a rush in your ears, a gruesome thud thud thudding – is that your pulse? You don’t know.

Blood stings your eyes, dirt caked into the backs of your molars. You can’t see, you can’t hear, you don’t know what’s going on, you see lights in the distance but when you run towards them they seem farther and farther away. Claws and teeth nip at your heels, you can’t stop running, can’t stop no matter how badly your legs ache, because if you stop even for just a moment, he’ll get you, and who knows what will become of you then.

Somewhere far away, a million miles away, Leslie Gore sings and your friends dance in a cookie cutter house in a cookie cutter town. But there in the woods, as something closes around your arm and drags you down to the ground,

you scream.

The party had been going well enough, hadn’t it? Josh hadn’t taken his hand off of you all evening, and wasn’t that something just dandy. Things had been getting tense between the two of you lately, you try not to think about all those heated arguments and cold shoulders that your boyfriend had dropped atop your head. You could ignore all of that now, he didn’t mean it, you knew that.

Maybe he did mean it, but he wasn’t meaning it now, as he dances with you in the dimly lit living room. You weren’t so sure what time it even was, gosh the rain was coming down so hard and making the skies nearly pitch black; why, it coulda been two in the morning for all you knew!

You give a strained smile to Josh for a brief moment, before laying your head back down on his chest. You think he looks relatively dashing tonight, dressed up for the party. New Year’s Eve 1962, could you believe it? Or well, it’d be 1962 in a couple minutes, but still.

You wore a mini-dress with the grooviest pattern you could find, some bright purple tights and white block heels, and you’d done your hair up so high you were sure you could feel it swaying on top of your head. It was very on trend these days, this sort of hairstyle. From what you could tell, anyway. You knew that this party was important for Josh, was important that he show up and make a good appearance with his football buddies, there were guys here that knew NFL draft scouts and he needed to impress them so he could get on their good side.

You wanted to look nice. He looked nice too, in his letterman jacket and jeans. Maybe he could have dressed up a little more, put a little more effort in. It was alright, it was fine. He gelled his hair down, that was more than you were expecting.

Thunder cracks across the sky and you involuntarily press yourself closer to him – he’ll hold you, won’t he? You wait for his arms to tighten around you, but they never do. Disappointed, but not surprised, you think.

“What’s your problem babe?” He asks, his voice slurred. You realize you’ve stopped dancing, stopped the short back and forth of your feet and he’d picked up on that.

“Nothing Josh. Just you know, the thunder and all.” You shrug, but he only scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“It’s not even real, it can’t hurt you, get a grip.” Josh steps away from you, away from the dance floor.

There are prying eyes there in the dark, and you’re embarrassed by the volume in his voice. He doesn’t realize how loud he can be sometimes, you know that, especially when he’s a little more buzzed than normal. He’s been getting more and more buzzed these days, you didn’t think it was good, was healthy. Just because he was of legal drinking age didn’t mean that you should dump alcohol into your body, not the way he did anyway.

“Right, of course Josh, sorry.” You grit your teeth, clench your jaw.

“Why don’t you go get me another beer, make yourself useful.” He dismisses you, turning towards his group of friends on the football team, towards bigger and stronger boys than he is, an attempt to weasel his way inside their group.

You’ve had quite enough of being dismissed, pushed aside. You’ve had enough. You’d been thinking of leaving him for a while, thinking about telling him what for, for once and for all. It never felt like the right time, something about him always made you feel like something bad would happen if you tried. But you’re at a point where you’re not being given any other choice.

You watch him laugh with his friends, with these college seniors, big boys on campus, and your heart races in your chest. A very small part of your brain fantasizes late at night about killing him, pushing him off some cliff or into traffic, an accident. Always an accident.

You’d never do it of course – of course not. Good girls didn’t kill their star athlete boyfriends.

But.

But maybe…maybe if something were to happen to him, you wouldn’t be so upset, would you?

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough to drink?” The words tumble past your lips without much thought, and you don’t really even register it until the whole group of jocks go silent and Josh turns around slowly, menacingly, to stare you down.

“…What the fuck did you just say?” His voice is low, angry.

“You’re supposed to drive me back home after this, I just want to make sure you’ll be alright to drive.” You’re unrelenting, shoulders square and jaw tight. If he thought he was going to be a jackass to win brownie points, then he had another thing coming.

The jocks only sip their beers, carefully watching. You wonder if any of them would come to your defense, but their silence is telling. You decide you hate them.

“I didn’t ask for your fucking opinion, I asked you to get me a fucking beer.” Josh shoves his red cup into your hand and you decide you hate him too.

Without another word, you accept the cup and with a forced smile, make your way to the kitchen where people are crowded by kegs and bottles.

You give a small sigh while you pour a cup of whatever shitty draft they’d gotten for the party. Part of you wishes you hadn’t come at all, you knew it could have only ended like this, being ignored and belittled all evening.

You wish that Flip were there, and you sigh again.

Philip ‘Flip’ Zimmerman, your best friend. The handsome basketball player, the guy who’s got his life together. A good job at the lumbermill, probably going to be a manager or something, the CEO one day. Smart, so smart! You can’t help but think of how many nights he tutored you for math with gentle eyes. And funny, and kind, and nice to you. He’s a couple years older than you and probably doesn’t think of you as anything other than a friend, but…but for a moment, you imagine what it might be like to call Flip your man.

You wonder if Flip would hold you tight when the thunder cracks across the sky, and a small smile threatens to creep up on your face. He definitely would, he’s done it before, hasn’t he? Given you his jacket to keep you dry from the rain, strong arms around your shoulders. Your cheeks begin to warm at the thought, at the way you can practically smell the cologne he wears whenever you’d rest your head on his shoulder.

You wish Flip were here. Or maybe no, maybe you just wish you were with him alone, were with him anywhere that wasn’t here. You wish you were cozied up on the couch in his Ma’s house, watching some scary movie and tucking yourself under his chin while you share a bowl of stove-top popcorn.

Lightning splinters across the clouds through the window in the kitchen, and you sigh again.

You had asked him to come, you really did try. But he said he was busy with work stuff, and he couldn’t. You admired that about him, his work ethic. He was so dedicated to everything he did, and even though you wanted to be selfish and whine and complain about needing his attention, you respected when he put his foot down.

Watching the froth begin to fade from the top of the beer cup, you think to yourself that tonight’s it, the last night you’d deal with Josh. You decide that you’ll go over, give him his beer, and then as soon as he drops you home whenever this party is supposed to end, you’ll tell him not to bother calling you ever again.

Something inside of you lightens up at the thought, like a weight slowly slipping off your shoulders. You can’t help but smile a little bit, at the thought of no longer being with him. Maybe…maybe if Flip saw you were single, he’d make a move of his own. Your head is in the clouds thinking about Flip, when you accidentally bump into someone on your way back to the living room.

A little bit of beer sloshes onto a boy’s shirt, and you recognize him as one of Josh’s new pals.

Before you can even open your mouth to apologize for the mess, he grabs you by the arm. His grip is harsh, and he yanks you around for a second, the beer spilling everywhere, all over the floor, onto your new white shoes.

“Hey J, are you gonna control your woman or what?” The guy – was his name Tommy? – sneers down at you. He’s tall, and he’s strong, you can start to feel a dull ping of pain on your arm where his fingers are digging in deep.

“I’m not his to control.” You wrench yourself out of the guy’s hold, stumbling backwards a few feet from the force of it.

Josh is up off the couch in an instant, infuriated with you.

He’s drunk, eyes glassed over like some shark, dark and empty. He backhands you across the jaw, sends you falling to the floor despite your best efforts, the crack of your skull against the wooden panels calling spots to your vision.

“Don’t ever speak back to someone like that, are you out of your fucking mind?” He wrangles you back up off the floor, grabs you by the front of your dress and hauls you up roughly, unkindly.

“Don’t touch me!” You shout, your nails scratching at his face, teeth bared in a rage of your own, pent-up anger that you’ve been swallowing for six months as you smack him across the face back in retaliation, angry and spitting, “Get off of me!”

Josh doesn’t let up, in fact he doubles down, kicks at your ankles so your knees cave in to try and support yourself as his hand shoots up from the collar of your blouse to wrapping around your throat. He drags you like that through the party, and you can’t help but wonder why no one is saying anything, doing anything? Do they not hear you? Do they not care?

“I’ll make you regret that – I’ll make you regret everything.” Josh hisses lowly in your ear as he forces you through the house by the scruff of your neck, sour breath of a drunken stupor stinging like a brand across your cheek.

“I already do.” You choke, struggling against his hold, against his hands.

You manage to elbow him in the stomach, hard, hard enough that he doubles over from the wind knocked out of his lungs, and you run.

---------------------------

Don't try to change me in any way You don't own me Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

I don't tell you what to say I don't tell you what to do So just let me be myself That's all I ask of you

Shoving through the crowd of people, a hundred faces you don’t recognize, smiles fading into confused glares, you run.

Thunder, rain, lightning, music deafens in your ears as you look for the door. Why is it so dark at this party? Where in the house are you? Hallways lead to doors that lead to nowhere, and you can hear his footsteps, can hear him running running running after you.

Didn’t you pass through this room before? Where was a telephone, surely whoever’s house this was, surely they had a telephone. But who would you call? You couldn’t call your parents, couldn’t let them know you snuck out of the house. You could call Flip, yes, that was it! You’d call Flip, if only you could find a phone.

They laugh at you, the people at the party. Laugh with their drug addled eyes, high off mushrooms and LSD, acid trips going wrong wrong wrong. They dance and laugh and laugh and dance, chugging spiked drinks with wild abandon, lights flashing red yellow purple green blue, a cacophony of psychedelics.

He’s there, somewhere among them, he’s there, you know he is. The smack of your footsteps sound like gunshots against the wood, your head throbs. You want to sob and scream and shout and cry cry cry but you can’t do that until you are safe, and if you stay in this house, there’s no telling where you’ll find safety again.

Or at all.

You try every door, locked ones, unlocked ones, looking for a way out. Eventually you lock yourself in a bathroom, lucky that there’s a window. It’s a single story house, the jump isn’t far.

You abandon your shoes, they don’t stay on your feet that well anyway, and you don’t have the time to groan about the frigid mud that squeaks between your toes as you splash down onto the ground from the window.

“Help!” You cup your mouth and shout, hearing something, a twig snapping not too far away. You see him, he’s coming after you through a side-door, and you have to run, you have to go. “Oh fuck – ”

You bolt, freezing rain soaking your clothes.

You don’t know where you are, don’t recognize this part of town.

Josh knew the area, not you, not you. These were his friends, not yours, not yours.

You just run, hoping your legs carry you to safety, carry you away. There’s woods, in the distance. You whip your head around, try looking for a road, any road. Where’s the driveway? It must be on the other side of the house, it must be –

Josh is gaining on you, athletic legs more powerful than your own.

“You can’t outrun me, don’t even try, don’t bother, get the fuck over here!” He hollers at you, voice guttural and deep, primal in a way that strikes fear into your heart.

You wish you had something, a weapon of some kind, any kind, to fight him with, but you don’t.

So you run.

“Shitshitshitshitshit – someone help!” You toss your voice to the wind, the howling wind which carries sheets of rain, pounds it down sideways against your back, your face, hair sopping wet and sticking to your eyes, nose, getting in your mouth as you pant pant pant, sobs of terror spiking through your chest, salty tears whisked away by the rain.

You don’t know how far you’ve gotten, you don’t know if anyone can hear you, don’t know if anyone would even come if they did. You need to form a plan, need to put enough distance between you and this monster of a man, need to catch your breath.

Your adrenaline pounds in your ear as the earth slips and slides underneath your feet, your nylon stockings not doing anything to help gain traction. You skid your knees on rocks and trip over gnarled roots, but every time you get up, each and every time you have to get up, otherwise he’ll get you.

You can feel how close he is, his hands reaching out to tear away at your clothes, can feel the ghost of his fingers trying to hook around your dress, and you can’t help but let out a high-pitched scream, something that pierces into the blackness of night, something that sends the birds from their branches.

“How dare you! How dare you embarrass me like that!” Josh manages to snatch you, the both of you tumbling down to the ground from the momentum, rolling in the mud. It’s in your eyes, mouth, a sharp hot pain at your temple makes you think you’ve hit your head, maybe on a rock? You don’t know, you taste copper in your mouth. You feel hands, no, fists, hard against your jaw. “I’ll kill you, you whore, I’ll fucking kill you for embarrassing me.”

“Don’t touch me – !” You scream, searching the ground for something, for anything, relief flooding through your body when your hand closes around a rock large enough to do some damage.

“Quiet, just be quiet!” He’s annoyed with you, annoyed with how loud you’re being, as if you’re inconveniencing him by not taking a beating politely. You take in a deep breath and muster all the strength you possibly can, to slam the rock against his face, making him knock backwards with a loud, “Fuck!”

“Someone – please!” You cough and sputter as blood streams down your face, washed away by the heavy rain which does not relent.

In an instant, the hands are yanked away from you, and you scramble to get away as fast as you can to catch your breath. You cough and hack up blood, dirt, mud which grinds between your teeth, the pounding against your temple making you dizzy, making you sick. You feel like you’re going to be sick, the adrenaline rising up up up your throat.

“Who the fuck are you – ” You hear Josh start, before the sound of punches and grunts cuts through the air again, and you squint in the dark to see who came to your rescue, who heard your calls.

“Flip?” You nearly can’t believe it, can’t believe your widened eyes, but there he is – you’d recognize those broad shoulders and the pattern of his breathing anywhere. Despite all better judgement, you rush back to his side, slipping and sliding on mud as rain beats down with such fury as your best friend’s fists, “Flip!”

“You don’t get to touch her, ever again.” Flip does not yell, he does not scream.

He does not raise his voice, he is calm, eerily calm, unnervingly calm.

You almost don’t hear him speaking at all, from how softly his voice comes out as he kicks the shit out of Josh, as he holds his head in place and knees him so hard in the face once, twice, three times, hard enough that the sick crunch of bone and cartilage echoes the thunder all around you, and he goes limp.

But Flip doesn’t stop, he doesn’t stop beating Josh’s face in with his fist until the man is a mess of blood, teeth coming loose, broken nose and busted lip bubbling hot, steaming in the freezing cold air. He doesn’t stop still, and you watch in awe, in twisted admiration as Flip hauls the ragdoll of your former boyfriend up enough to get him in a chokehold and snap his neck.

Only then, does Flip drop him, face down into the mud.

You look at the lifeless body, and then up at Flip, who you find is already looking back at you. His chest is heaving, he’s panting, out of breath and exhausted. The rain has soaked him through too, but he’s not shivering, not the way you are. He must have ran too, had to have ran to catch up with you. You don’t know how deep in the woods you are, how deep he had to go to find you.

But he did, he did.

You’re numb, standing there. Numb from the cold, from the shock, you don’t know. You want to comfort Flip – and isn’t that fucked up? You wanting to comfort someone else right now? But you do.

Everything feels like it’s going to be okay now, now that Flip’s here.

“Oh my god.” You say, because you don’t really know what else to say, don’t really know what else to do other than stand there. You’re frightened, you can feel the fear bubbling up in your stomach, but there’s calm now too, a calm that’s got you more afraid than anything. You look at Josh, then back to Flip once again. “Do you think…”

“Are you okay?” Flip pushes the hair out of his face with a bloody hand and takes a cautious step towards you.

“Me? Yeah – yes I’m…Do you think you killed him?” You ask, holding a hand out to Flip.

You know he’s worried about scaring you, and warmth cuts through some of the chill in your bones at the thought. You extend a hand and encourage him to take it, smearing blood between your palms which the rain washes away, carries down into the wood in thick muddy rivers.

You’re not afraid of Flip, could never be afraid of Flip.

“Look at me,” He’s hung up on it, presses his forehead against yours and goes nearly cross-eyed in the dark to peer into your eyes, your soul, “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” You finally answer truthfully, taking another step closer to him, trying to get as close to him as possible. You feel safe, your brain screams safety with this man, with your friend, your Flip. “But I’m better now that you’re here. What are you doing here? I thought you had work.”

Confusion dawns on you, and you frown a little bit, just because it doesn’t make sense for him to be here right now, it doesn’t make sense for him to be here at all. Flip’s eyes widen a little, and even in the scant moonlight you can tell he’s blushing. He tries pulling away, but you don’t release your grip on his hand, warm and solid and real against your own.

“I just – I’m sorry I – well I got off early and I wanted to make sure that you would be okay so I came over and just kind of watched from the car in case you needed me for anything.” He rushes out in one big breath, winces, waits for you to berate him.

“Do you do that? Watch me from a distance.” You ask him, the both of you standing there in the rain.

You know it’s absurd, somewhere in the back of your head a small voice tells you it’s absurd to have a conversation like this while standing over a body in the middle of the woods, but you push it away, push it away and step closer to Flip. You’re not accusatory when you ask, you’re not condemning him – you’re just curious.

“No – I – well yes, sometimes, but only when you’re out with him.” He admits, nudging Josh’s back with the toe of his boot. His voice is dark, low, gritty in the back of his throat but he doesn’t yell, you sigh against him, your heart breaks for the anger in his voice, the sadness. You wish you never started dating this schmuck, wish you never said yes to him, wished that it had been Flip who asked instead. “I don’t trust him, (Y/N), I don’t like how he treats you. I worry, and I know that it’s creepy I know, I’m sorry, I’m not a creep I swear, I just. I care about you.”

You’re quiet for a little while, and then you move away from him only far enough to plant your stocking-clad foot onto the back of Josh’s head, push him deeper into the earth, the mud. The body gives no resistance, and a sick satisfaction makes your vision go blurry.

“Have…have you done this before?” You ask, that numbness starting to fade, the tremble of shock at what you witnessed, experienced setting in.

Flip looks like he would fall to his knees before you in that moment, as he blinks water out of his eyes, as he trembles too.

“No, I swear. I don’t even know what came over me, but I heard you screaming and begging and I couldn’t stop, I had to help you somehow.” His voice breaks, and all you want is to be close to him, so you go, go rushing into his arms, and he holds you tight.

He holds you and you hold him back, two people under the moonlight as lightning illuminates the body with picture-perfect clarity for a split second. He’s face down in the earth but you can tell, you can just tell he’s brutally mangled by the damage Flip did to him, and as you shove your face into Flip’s chest, for the briefest of moments, you smile.

“We have to get rid of him.” You say softly, trying to think of a plan, trying to think of what to do.

Flip gently pushes on your shoulders to separate the two of you, and shakes his head with a frown.

“We? No (Y/N), you can’t be involved at all, you can’t, just please go to the car and get dry and warm, I can handle this.” He’s sweet, so sweet with the way there’s sincerity in his eyes, but you’re not having any of it.

“I’m already involved, Flip, I’m not going to let you do this alone. Whatever it is, we’re in this together now. We can’t go to the police, they wouldn’t understand, they wouldn’t believe us. I’m with you.” You squeeze his hand lovingly in your own, and you can’t help but think how good it feels, how right it feels, to hold his hand.

“I think I have an idea, but first, we need to get him to the car.” Flip chews the inside of his cheek, a nervous tick of his that you always scold him for.

You don’t scold him now, there’s no time, that’s not what’s important now.

What’s important is hauling dead weight down the woods without a trace, without any evidence other than what will be washed away.

---------------------------

I'm young and I love to be young I'm free and I love to be free To live my life the way I want To say and do whatever I please

And don't tell me what to do Oh, don't tell me what to say And please, when I go out with you Don't put me on display

The body rolls around slightly, in the trunk. You’re in Flip’s dad’s '58 oldsmobile, the heat is blasting, and you hug your knees in the passenger seat, as Flip maneuvers through the winding Colorado roads. It had taken quite some time to get back through the car, out of the woods.

He had been parked out front, only a few feet from the driveway the whole time. All evening, sitting, watching, waiting. Hoping you wouldn’t need him, but prepared to do anything for you if you did. He’s silent on the drive to wherever it is you’re going, the radio is playing softly. The music helps calm your nerves, and you’re thankful for it, you try not to freak out.

The little clock on the dashboard says it’s only about midnight, but you feel like it’s way later than that. The rain fucks everything up, you think, the rain’s been pouring for hours and hours now, but it feels like days.

Every time the car makes a sharp turn, or goes up and down a hill, the body thuds against the walls of the trunk, and you just hug your knees tighter.

“Where are we going?” You ask eventually, voice soft. You’re afraid if you raise it, you’ll scream. Your throat hurts, you’ve done enough screaming already.

“Hospital.” Flip replies easily, not taking his eyes off the road, his hands at perfect ten-and-two. You wonder if he’s afraid of screaming too.

The thought of the hospital sends a spike of fear through your blood, makes all the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

“What? Why?” You demand immediately, confused, scared.

“You still haven’t stopped bleeding and I need to make sure you’re okay.” Flip says evenly. You can tell he wants a cigarette, you can tell. But this is his dad’s car, and he can’t smoke in it. You wonder what his dad would say to knowing that there’s a dead body in it, wonder if smoke would be more of an issue.

“No!” You shake your head, turning yourself towards him fully, a hand on his arm. “No, Flip please, they’ll call my parents and they don’t know I’m out this late, please just – let’s just get rid of him, and then take me home, Flip I’m begging.”

“But what if you’re seriously hurt? What if he did something severe?” Flip’s grip on the steering wheel is white-knuckled, and your stomach flutters as the windshield wipers beat back and forth, whisking the rain away.

“I’m okay, I promise I’m okay, I’ll be fine.” You don’t know if that’s the truth, but you have to believe that it is, you have to. “Philip, please.”

The use of his full first name convinces him, you don’t think you’ve ever said it before, not out loud anyway, not like this. He chews on his lip and sighs, nods his head to your supreme relief.

“Thank you.” You want to kiss him, want to embrace him desperately, but now isn’t the time. He’s driving, there are more important things right now, more important things to deal with. “What are we going to do with him? We can’t bury him in the woods, the rain’s logged all the dirt.”

“Logged – we can go to the mill.” Flip snaps his fingers, and it’s like a light bulb has gone off inside his head.

You just sit back and press a bundled up wad of wet napkins against the wound on your temple, hugging your knees, knowing that you’ll be okay, as long as you’re with Flip.

---------------------------

The lumbermill is a family-owned and operated affair. Flip’s grandfather had founded it sixty-two years ago way back during the turn of the century in 1900, and it had remained in the Zimmerman hands ever since. Once a small business, now stood a proud industrial center for logging and clearing away trees to produce more logs and square away neat pockets of land. Where there used to be only hand-held tools and traditions, now there were the highest-end types of machinery.

You thought Flip was brilliant, absolutely brilliant – you knew exactly what he was thinking.

Just last month, Flip’s dad had been bragging about the new woodchipper that had finally been ordered. You remember sitting at Flip’s Ma’s shabbat table and listening to him go on and on about the new sharp blades, how much more efficient it would make everything, not to mention how little waste they would have, considering the wood chips could be sold for all kinds of uses.

At the time, you had thought it was a little annoying how he wouldn’t let anyone else at the table get in a word, but now you’re thanking your lucky stars that you had been paying attention.

It’s strange, being here this late, being here at all. You’ve visited before of course, Flip has always been eager to show you around. It never felt like you were sneaking about or anything, not considering his family owned it, considering he’d own it one day too.

But it’s strange, with the flood lights filling the night sky with a brilliant white, the usually bustling lumbermill quiet, nothing but the sound of harsh rain clanging on machinery and metal roofs. Flip parks the car in the lot, reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out a key-ring. There must be a dozen keys on the little circle, but Flip seems to know exactly which ones are for what.

“Emergency backups of all the gates,” he explains, jingling it on his index finger for a second, “No one will suspect anything.”

You nod, chew on your cheeks. The thought of going back out into the rain is unpleasant, but you suck it up and open the car door, bracing yourself for a minute before the icy water plunges down the back of your dress once again, body already shivering.

He meets you at the trunk, pops it open. With the flood lights, you can see the extent of the damage to Josh’s face – if you could even call it a face anymore. It was nearly caved in completely, soaked with blood and mud, all the planes of a face that should push out were indented inwards. You manage a glance at Flip’s knuckles, and you see they’re busted wide open, and you suck in a sharp breath.

“Follow me.” Flip says, hoisting the body over his shoulder like a fireman would rescue someone from a burning building, and his boots splash in the mud towards where he knows the woodchipper is set up.

You regret not going back for your shoes now, as more freezing mud stains your tights. You regret dressing up at all, dressing for fashion instead of comfort. Flip is in a flannel and jeans, and normally you tease him for being like a cartoon character always wearing the same thing, you wish that you weren’t in a fucking miniskirt and tights in the dead of winter.

Lightning backs the machine dramatically, after a few minutes of trudging. The ground here is much more substantial than the woods, and you push your legs across a developed terrain instead of through the wilderness of the mountains. It stands tall, proud, the woodchipper, and you swallow a lump around your throat.

“Is that it?” You ask, close enough to Flip that you only have to raise your voice a little bit to compete with the sound of the rain.

Flip dumps the body onto the ground, goes over to the woodchipper and turns it on. You can tell that using it in the rain is a poor decision, but it’s the only option you have. Flip adjusts some settings, and the thing roars to life, metal blades whirring whirring whirring.

“Yeah but it – he’s too fucking big he can’t go in all in one piece, it’ll get jammed.” Flip runs a hand through his hair as he comes half-jogging back over to you, and you just blink for a moment.

“Okay then we cut him up.” You say matter of factly, your heart pounding in your chest, aware that time is not on your side, that you have to get this done and get out, have to get this done and go as quickly as possible, in case someone comes, in case someone sees.

“(Y/N), are you sure you want to do this?” Flip asks you seriously, puts his hands gently on your shoulders and looks into your eyes.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” You whisper, eyes wide, feeling more liberated and free, feeling so light, determined. Maybe it’s the shock, maybe you’ve lost your fucking mind, you don’t know. But you can’t stop now, you’ve done this much, you can’t stop now. “It can’t be too hard, like breaking down a chicken, right? Split at the joints.”

The analogy is lost on Flip, because as much as you love your friend, he cannot cook to save his life. Flip isn’t one to smile, and he doesn’t smile then, but you know he’s agreed with you because he looks around, tries to find something.

“Hold on.” He runs across the yard, finds one of the sheds that’s tucked against the back wall of one of the main buildings.

You stand there and wait, arms crossed, staring down at Josh. While Flip searches for whatever it is he’s looking for, you just grow more and more angry, watching rain flood the spaces in the dips of his shoulders.

“Fuck you.” You say to his lifeless body, “You say I embarrassed you? You tormented me. I wish I could have killed you myself. You’re lucky Flip did it, I wouldn’t have been so merciful.”

You don’t know what’s come over you, but the words sound like the most truthful ones you’ve ever told this boy, this husk of a monster, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You can’t help yourself, spitting onto the ground in his direction, sneering through the rain, blinking it and the shocked fury out of your eyes.

Flip returns with an axe, brand new from the looks of it. The blade glints in the floodlight, freshly polished metal dripping with silver rivers of water as Flip swings it lightly in his hand.

“This should work, fuck, okay. Okay. Okay alright okay, you come over here, stand over here I don’t want you getting hurt accidentally.” He’s steeling himself, psyching himself up for this, and you put a hand on his back to calm him.

“Want me to do it?” You offer, not knowing the first fucking things about even how to hold an axe, let alone swing one.

“No, no let me.” Flip huffs out a laugh, shakes his head. You can’t help but feel silly for asking, you know there’s no way you’d have the upper body strength to cut through a person. You’d never even chopped wood before, and well, Flip was an actual lumberjack.

“Okay, I can count to three?” You acquiesce with a tremor in your voice.

“Please.” Flip whispers, getting the body into position.

You stand where Flip tells you, a little ways away, as he raises the axe high above his head.

“One…”

There’s a ringing in your ears, a pounding in your chest. You’re doing this, you’re really doing this, you can’t help but think. Flip plants his feet firmly on the ground, takes in a deep breath. You can see his hands flex and grip the handle, as he liens himself up.

“Two…”

Your face shakes, teeth rattling in your skull from where your jaw chatters, shivers in the cold. It’s so bright, so bright with all the floodlights, you feel like you’re being watched, you feel like you can hear the whispers, the murmurs of ghosts all around you, the ghost of this monster you’ve killed.

“Three!”

Hot blood sprays from Josh’s shoulder as the axe swings down, cleaves into his shoulder. The blade is bran new, terribly sharp, and it nearly goes all the way through. The bone splinters, you can hear it, can hear it slicing into pieces. Flip pries the blade out and lines himself up again, does not wait this time for your count before taking aim and slamming it into the body again.

Blood hot and thick bubbles up, gurgles around the wound, and when Flip tosses a severed arm away from the rest of the body, despite yourself, you turn around, brace your hands on your knees and throw up. Everything you ate and drank at the party comes back up in an acrid stinging cough that has you nearly choking, but you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and get yourself together.

You don’t know how Flip has the stomach for this, for it, but he has a steady hand as he works on the other arm, separating it from the body.

The machine is still on, the machine is hungry.

You want to give it what it wants, you want to see the spray out the other end. Without waiting for his instruction, you pick up the arm, grab it by the wrist. You make sure there’s no jewelry, no watches or anything that could get jammed, and you rush it over to the woodchipper, drop it into the basin.

The sound it makes is horrific, the sick squelch and crunch of bone, the shredding shredding shredding of the blades. Mincemeat blasts out the other end, and even as some of it sprays back against the wind, even as some of it lands on your face, speckles of blood and guts and shards of crushed bone, you find that you’re grinning, because it worked.

“Another one, give me another one.” You say eagerly, holding a hand out to Flip.

He smiles too, eyes too bright, as he gives you Josh’s other arm, hacked away in nice clean segments. He watches as you dump the second arm into the machine, gets to see as it eats up the flesh, grinds and slashes it into nothingness, watches as the bits of this man land in wet smacks on the dirt.

Piece by piece, you obliterate the monster that had tormented you for months.

Piece by piece, you free yourself of the hurt and pain, the lies and manipulation he shackled you with.

Piece by piece, you destroy the evidence, watch as it washes away, watch as the rain carries it down the drain, into the sewers where he’ll rot among the rats like he deserves.

The rain absolves you and Flip of the muck and grime of the deed, and now that it’s over, now that he’s gone, you close your eyes and tilt your head up towards the sky, letting the rain patter down onto your cheeks, your forehead. You feel clean, though you are cold, so so so cold, the only thing you can focus on is the cleanliness, the relief.

“You never should have fucked with her.” You hear Flip say, and that makes you open your eyes, makes your turn towards him.

Flip looks down to the drain, and you smile, because he looks lighter too.

---------------------------

You’re leaving the lumbermill, when it hits.

You’d been so caught up in the euphoria of getting rid of him, of this man who had made your life a living nightmare for far too long – that you hadn’t stopped once to think of the consequences of these actions.

“I – holy shit I can’t believe we did that.” It slams into your chest, the realization that you’re a murderer, you’re both murderers, you’re going to go to prison for this, they’ll send you to the chair for this, they’ll kill you for this the same way you killed Josh. Your heart races, pounds pounds pounds as dread and terror and fear all come rushing back, all come slamming down inside your brain. “What the fuck did we just do? Flip what did we do?”

Flip must have willpower of steel, because he doesn’t even blink when you whip around to face him, when you immediately freak the fuck out, when you start to hyperventilate, holding the sides of your head.

“It’s okay, it’s fine. Things like this happen. It was an accident that spiraled out of control, it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Flip is calm, so calm, and that almost freaks you out more, maybe you were going to scream, maybe you were already screaming, you don’t know, you don’t know anything except you just murdered a man.

“Oh my god what are they going to say when he doesn’t come back to the party? Or go home?” You panic, shifting around too much in your seat, legs bouncing, back aching from the way you keep twisting and turning, “What’ll they do if they find the pieces of him?”

“You have to breathe it’s going to be okay, we’ll be okay – fuck, what was that?” Flip is cut off by a loud thud, the car coming to a complete stop.

Your eyes begin to well up with tears as you hiccup out terror, hands shaking. You want to slam your fists against the window, want to throw yourself onto the street and beg for forgiveness, you want to be sick, you want to tell Flip to drive and never look back.

“Oh no, oh no no no this is it, this is the karma catching up to us already.” You can feel the tethers of reality start to slip, black splotches dancing in front of your vision – will you pass out? Are you at your limit? You don’t know, you don’t know but the car isn’t moving, it’s not going anywhere no matter how hard Flip pushes on the gas pedal.

“Stay here.” He says, and you’re in no mood, no state to defy the instructions now.

Flip puts the car in park, gets out and shuts the door so water doesn’t come pouring in. You watch him through the warped view of rain on the windows as he walks around the car, his hands on his hips, trying to figure out what the fuck happened.

It doesn’t take him too long to find the problem, and he comes back into the car with a sigh, soaking wet and unsure of what to do.

“We’re stuck.” He tells you, and that’s the last thing you want to hear. A flat tire you knew he could change, even in the rain like this, but being stuck left nothing to do except wait for someone to come un-stick you.

“So we’re stranded out here?” Your voice creeps up higher and higher in octave as the consequences of that stab you through the chest.

You never should have snuck out of home, you lament, hot tears finally stinging the rims of your eyes. You never should have left home through your window, never should have agreed to the party. You never should have agreed to date this fucking guy, you think, because if you hadn’t maybe you’d be safe and warm somewhere, maybe you’d be asleep soundly in your bed and not stranded in the pouring rain, in the middle of you don’t even know where.

“Yes but – but this is good. This is good, this is our alibi. We don’t know anything, because we were stranded in the middle of fucking nowhere in a ditch.” Flip knows you’re freaking out, he knows, he can feel it, can see it, it’s happening right in front of him.

“Wh—what will we say that we were even doing out here? What if someone asks why we’re here in the first place?” Your whole body wracks through with terrified sobs. “They’re going to kill us for this, Flip if they catch us they’re going to kill us – I don’t want to die, I don’t --”

He collects you in his arms and holds you tightly against his chest, rocks you to soothe you, calms you. The rain is unrelenting, and you wonder how much water the sky can hold, how many clouds are up there to maintain such a downpour. Flip’s arms are so warm around your shoulders, and his neck is blazing hot where you tuck your face against it.

“You called me to pick you up from the party, I came, we got lost, wound up here. It’s dark and raining, that’s all the truth.” Flip whispers, “We don’t know anything, we’ve been here, waiting for someone to pass by.”

You nod, because it’s all you can do right now. You had almost forgotten how cold you were, the stark comparison of your own body temperature compared to Flip’s making you feel even colder.

“I’m f-f-freezing.” You say, because you don’t have anything else to say, and Flip hums in the back of his throat.

“I don’t have any spare clothes, I’m sorry.” He frowns, but then you pull away for a moment, begin stripping off your dress. You peel away the layers until you’re in your bra and underwear, just wanting the wet cold fabric off of your skin. Flip’s hands drop from your body, and he nervously looks away with a very gentlemanly, “What are you doing?”

“I’m sorry – I just – I figured maybe if we use body heat – ” You explained, suddenly feeling stupid, feeling unwanted, feeling --

“Don’t stop, I’ll do it too, if you want. I’ll keep you warm.” Flip nods, understands what you’re doing now, what you mean. He looks at you cautiously, not ever wanting to be imposing, not wanting to make you comfortable. “Only if you want.”

You lick your lips and nod, and in mere moments, he’s shedding his clothes too, until he’s just in his underwear.

Flip climbs over the bench seat and lands in the back, laying down on his back and spreading out. There’s significantly more room in the back seat, and without another thought, you unclip the straps of your bra, letting your breasts breathe, before arranging all the clothes in the direct line of the heater so they might have a chance to dry, before climbing over too.

Flip welcomes you with open arms, and as you settle against him, body flush with his, your heart pounds. He rubs your back, warms you with his palms, palms which feel like the most comforting iron brand, heating you through.

“You know…” You whisper, listening to the sound of his breathing and the rain that pitter-patters onto the roof of the car, “I’ve been thinking about doing something like that to him for a long time.”

“Yeah?” Flip asks, voice thick.

You’re nuzzled against his chest, feeling the most safe that you ever have. The panic has subsided for now, for now at the very least.

“Yeah. It was never a real idea that I had, at least not in the beginning. But more and more lately, I’ve been thinking about how good it would feel if he were gone forever. I don’t know what I ever saw in him. I guess I just…I liked that someone liked me, wanted me. It felt good to be wanted, for a minute there.” You’re honest with Flip. Sometimes it feels like Flip is the only person you can ever be honest with.

“Just a minute?” He asks softly, teasing and playful in a way that makes you want to cry.

“Yeah, just a minute.” You whisper back, propping your head up onto your hands, looking at him.

“There are…other people, you know. Who are out there, who like you. Want you.” He looks back at you, eyes filled with apprehension, but hope.

“People like you?” You ask, hope in your own lungs, in your heart.

“Yeah, people like me.” Flip nods, caresses the back of your head with his strong, capable hand.

“You know, the entire time I’ve been with him, I wished I were with you.” You confess, because now feels like as good a time to confess something as any, doesn’t it? What’s this admittance, compared to the thing you have just done together?

“This isn’t the shock talking, is it?” Flip’s hand smooths around to hold your cheek, pinch at the apple of your smile, because you are smiling now, smiling how he hasn’t rejected you, how he never would have, now you know.

“No, no I promise. This is me talking.” You turn your face into his palm and press a light kiss to the creases in his hand, those hands, the hands which have only ever protected you, defended you, loved you.

“Why are you crying?” Flip frowns, confused, worried, but you shake your head, unable to stop, unable to quit the smile, the tears.

“Because I’ve dreamt about being in your arms like this for what feels like forever, and I – I kept thinking that there’s no way you could ever want me, I thought I was just delusional for thinking maybe we could be something. And here you are, coming to my rescue, the way you always do, and we’ve just killed a man but all I want to do is kiss you.” You huff out a laugh, a laugh that’s tinged with regret for the past, all the time that could have been.

“Can I?” Flip asks suddenly then, innocent and gentle, “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh Flip, yes, please.” You nod, pushing yourself up a few more inches so that your lips can meet.

They press together in the softest, sweetest of kisses, and all at once it feels like the gates of your heart have been unlocked, and all the love you feel flows out with wild abandon.

Flip deepens the kiss when your mouth opens in a small gasp, and you let yourself be rolled underneath him. The car rocks a little from the effort, but you don’t care. A kiss or two becomes making out, and you feel your head fill with the thick perfume of lust, your whole body warm now, on fire almost. His mouth is hot, tongue thick and heavy against yours, but he tastes delicious, tastes like home.

He kisses you until your breathing begins to quicken, until the smallest noises start to moan and hum in the back of your throat. Your nipples are stiff, so hard from where they’re brushing against his chest, your arms looping around his shoulders, legs parting so he can settle between them.

“Did…did you two ever…?” He pulls away, lips kiss-slick and flushed, and you blink, forgetting all about your boyfriend, or one you used to have.

“No, no I didn’t want to, it didn’t feel right. Not with him.” You tell him honestly, suddenly feeling inexperienced, feeling self-conscious, “Have you?”

“No, I’ve been waiting for the right person.” Flip shocks you by blushing out his own truth. Your eyebrows shoot up, you really would have pegged him for a womanizer type, he was certainly handsome enough for it. But thinking back, you realize in all the time you’ve known him, he’s never once mentioned a girlfriend or even a fling, nothing. It’s always just been you, and him. Flip blushes deeper when you don’t say anything right away, stammers out, “I know it’s cheesy.”

“It’s not cheesy.” You shake your head quickly, dismissing the idea that you’d make fun of him for something like that. You’re relived, it means you can be together for the first time truly together.

You kiss him, invigorated, no longer feeling shy or inadequate. He kisses you back, and when your eyes close there’s nothing but the welcoming embrace of his warmth and affection to pull you in. Your mouths and tongues slide against one another, and your hips raise up, your underwear rubbing against his, wishing there were no barrier between you.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, I don’t ever want to pressure you or – ” Flip shakes his head, so caring, worried, nipping at the corners of your mouth.

“Maybe, maybe you could just touch me? Just for now, touch me and then, then we can see where we go.” You’re desperate for him though, desperate for him in every way.

He smiles against your mouth, and you smile too, his hands sliding down your body. He shuffles back a little, straddling your hips, knees digging into the upholstery as his hands roam your body, touch where he didn’t have permission to touch before.

He’s drawn to your breasts immediately, kneads them. He licks his lips and rolls your nipples between his fingers, and your back only arches for him, pushes your chest up into his hands further. His breathing is heavy, and you decide that you’re tired of holding yourself back from the things that you want – after this, after tonight, you won’t deny yourself anything ever again, you’ve spent so much time bending to the will of other people, from now on you are going to ask for what you want.

You cup the back of Flip’s head and push him down, gently nudge him. He takes the hint, immediately nuzzles his face into your cleavage, rubs against your breasts. His mouth latches around one of your nipples and he kisses and licks and sucks, and you moan, the pleasure going straight to your pussy.

So does his hand, tentatively skimming over your panties until your legs spread enough to give him permission. He tugs the cotton aside and you hiccup out a little cry of pleasure when he reverently pushes his fingers through your folds, pushes his way through into the tight wet heat of your cunt.

“Oh, oh, that feels good.” Your eyes fly open, hand tangling in his hair where he makes out with your breasts, grunting and groaning with need that the praise spurs in him. His fingers are more insistent, more purposeful, and his thumb swirls over your clit making your hips lift up up up against his hand. “Yes, yes! Flip – do that again, please do that again.”

“Good?” Flip lifts his head from where he’s been smothering himself in your tits, eyes so big and brown, eager to please.

“So good! Phil, it’s so good, I’ve wanted this for so – ah!—long.” Your head tips back against the seat as your toes curl, his fingers moving faster, your stomach expanding with each deep breath you take, trying to suck down the air, trying to lose yourself in the bright white hot light of pleasure.

“This doesn’t count as our first time, okay?” Flip bites a mark around the bottom of your ribs.

“Okay.” You grin, elated that this means maybe maybe maybe he’ll want to have sex with you again, maybe he’ll fuck you with his cock. Maybe he’ll want you forever, maybe he’ll ask you out and take you on dates and do all the things that you’ve always hoped but never dared to dream for.

“I want our first time to be sweet and good and gentle, and not in the back-seat of this car.” He fingers you faster and faster, and you struggle to pay attention to his words because his fingers are so thick and so full and they know just where to touch you to get your feet searching for purchase as you moan and whine and gasp. “I’m going to take you out to dinner and then a movie, and then I’m going to make love to you on a big bed with rose petals like you deserve.”

“Oh fuck – I’m – I’m gonna – ” You gasp out, hips rolling, undulating against his palm, grinding your pussy against the warmth of his hand to chase your orgasm, your body thick with pleasure, sweet and sticky like molasses in your veins.

“Come on my fingers, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Flip encourages you, presses a little harder, moves a little faster, the car shaking shaking shaking from the way your body trembles, rain thudding against the roof as your orgasm crashes through you, a wave of nothing but good, nothing but love.

“Fl-Flip!” You shout, eyes shut tight, the first couple hints of tears clinging to your lashes.

“You’re so beautiful, holy shit.” Flip strokes your pussy through it, coaxes out come that shines on his palm, shimmers on your inner thighs. He kisses your neck, your chest, bites and sucks and marks you so thoroughly, marks you as his, you’re his you’re his and he’s yours and, “(Y/N) you’re – you’re so beautiful.”

“Can I, I want you to come too, I want you to feel good too.” You try, you offer, but he’s still sliding his fingers through your pussy, two – no, three? -- stretching you wide, stretching you for him, for his cock. You want it, you want it so badly, want to be filled, but an aftershock of pleasure builds builds builds and you’re not sure it’s just an aftershock anymore, as your toes curl again, knees shaking, bones aching to come again, “Flip I’m, I think I’m – oh!”

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to do anything for me, this is more than enough, you’re more than enough, thankyouthankyouthankyou.” He smudges the words into your chest, your throat, litters you with sweet nothings and gratitude, and you want to ask for his dick right then and there –

But there’s a sound, coming from the window.

A knock on the window.

Someone is there, knocking.

“Wait – what was that?” You freeze, the rose-tinted glasses ripped off.

Flip carefully pulls his hand away from your pulsing cunt, sucks your come off of his fingers until they’re clean. He reaches for something, anything, to cover you with, to cover himself with.

“Cop.” Flip says quietly, and you want to panic but he shakes his head, “Don’t, it’s okay, follow my lead.”

You are suddenly very very aware, of what you both look like. Flip with his torn up fists, you with the split lip and wound on your temple. You’ve both finally stopped bleeding, but you know – you just know – that this officer is going to question you on it, normal people don’t go driving around in the rain with head wounds and split knuckles.

Fuck, you think, you haven’t even cleaned the car yet, there’s bound to be blood in the trunk from where the body had been stashed, what if the officer decided to search the car? There were no weapons in the car, but there didn’t need to be. Your stomach does little flutters of panic as the impending anxiety drips cold down your spine, and just hide yourself behind Flip’s denim jacket, cover up as much as you can, cover your face.

Flip rolls down the window, and a flashlight peers inside the car for a few moments, before you hear a resigned sigh.

“Alright you kids, come on, break it up.” The cop says, tapping his flashlight on the roof of the car. “The middle of the road isn’t the place for this kind of shit, let’s go.”

“Our car is stuck, we’ve been waiting for someone to drive past to ask for help. Could you help give us a push?” Flip asks, and the officer looks at him like he’s crazy.

“No.” The man scoffs, before sighing again, realizing that he can’t just leave the two of you out here. “But I’ll call someone. Then off you go, okay? It’s late.”

“Thank you.” Flip says, and then, like some miracle, the cop goes back to his car, radios for a tow, and leaves.

---------------------------

You both are dressed by the time the tow arrives and pulls you out of the mud. Leaving the clothes in front of the heater did wonders, and though your dress is still fucking filthy and caked in mud, it’s not freezing, or soaked. You feel awful, Flip’s dad is going to be pissed when he sees the car like this, but Flip assures you that he’ll have Jimmy help deep clean the whole thing before his parents come home after the weekend.

The tow truck driver doesn’t ask any questions, doesn’t really talk to you at all. By the time he arrives, the rain has stopped, slowed enough as the storms moved across the mountains. You don’t say anything, just sit there and wait for the wheels to come free, holding your breath until the tow driver leaves too.

The radio is soft and gentle, the time on the little clock reads just past three. Flip drove all the way to your house with a hand on your knee, reassuring, comforting. You can’t help but think it feels so different from Josh’s hand, how gentle Flip’s hold is on you. You wonder if he’s trying to ground himself, or keep you calm. Maybe it’s both.

He shuts the lights off and the radio when he rounds the corner. Puts the car in park, and the two of you walk the last few yards to your house. It’s not raining anymore, not at all. That feels like a good sign, somehow.

“Will you come in?” You ask him softly, standing under the streetlamps, careful not to step on cracks in the sidewalk.

“If you want me.” Flip nods, and you smile, and he smiles, because you both know that you always will.

The climb up through the window is a little difficult because of how wet everything is from the rain, but you both manage easily. Your bedroom is warm, and you both shed your clothes in the tub of your private bathroom, knowing your parents wouldn’t ever look in there. You want to shower desperately, but doing so this late would raise suspicion, so you don’t, you’ll have to wait until morning.

But that’s alright, because for now it’s enough to be in clean clothes. Sheepishly, you offer Flip some of his own clothes, clothes that you’ve accumulated over all the time you’ve known him; jackets accidentally forgotten on your couch, sleep shirts and pajama pants he let you borrow that you never returned.

Flip doesn’t tease you for them, he only accepts them gratefully, and the two of you lay down on your bed in the dark. You face one another, so close that your noses almost touch. He’s so handsome, you think. You’ve always thought it, but up close, this close, it’s like the thought consumes your whole mind.

“We can’t ever tell anyone about this, ever. Not even when we’re old. This is something we take to the grave.” You whisper, rubbing the tip of your nose against his.

“Agreed.” He breathes, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You lean into the touch, lean into him.

“I don’t want to think what would have happened if you didn’t show up.” You confess, and in the silence of the room, the thought of what might have been is more terrifying than anything you two had done together. Flip is quiet, but his jaw clenches as he gently touches the closed wound on your temple. You don’t know what prompts it, but suddenly you’re asking, “Do you believe in alternate universes?”

“Hm?” Flip frowns, and you shrug in the dark.

“You know, like, a different version of our world, existing in some other dimension out in space.” You explain, shuffling close to him, tucking yourself under his chin.

“I never thought about it.” He admits with a shrug of his own and you close your eyes against his throat, warming yourself with his heat as his arms wrap around you.

“Maybe there’s a world where this never happened.” You whisper, “Maybe there’s a version of us out there that never had to do this. Maybe there’s a universe where we’ve always been together.”

“We can be together now, here in this one. If you want.” Flip whispers back, and you can feel the rabbit of his pulse jump jump jumping in his chest, and you smile.

“Phil?” You ask, not opening your eyes, not moving, barely breathing, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He responds right away, with enough feeling behind the words to make you think that maybe he’s loved you just as long as you have loved him, maybe even longer.

A grin spreads across your face as you snuggle up closer to him, impossibly close, suppressing a thrilled little bubble of laughter as he cards his fingers through your hair.

“You’re stuck with me now, you know that? Forever.” You tease with a smile in your voice – but you both know there’s some truth to it. No matter what happens, you’re bonded by this, this nightmare of an evening.

“Happy New Year, (Y/N).” Flip teases right back, kissing the top of your head, before you reach up to kiss him properly.

---------------------------

When the sun rises the next morning and you find him gone from your bedroom, tub empty of soiled clothing and the car driven away to the cleaners, you aren’t afraid, because there’s a note on your nightstand written in the most incomprehensible handwriting that could only be Flip’s, asking you on a date, and a brand new pair of heels to wear for it.

And when they ask about Josh you’ll say you don’t know, and when they launch the investigation you’ll testify lies, and when you attend his funeral you might shed a tear, but only only only if Flip’s there by your side, so you can stand behind him, and hide your smile.

You don't own me

I'm not just one of your many toys

You don't own me

Don't say I can't go with other boys

You don't own me

You don’t own me

You don’t own me.

---------------------------

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scandeniall · 4 years

Text

we’re us

pairing: atsumu x f!reader

summary/warnings: after atsumu almost lost you he decides ts time to make things official. But he’s overly sweet and its weird. Thats not who you two are / mentions of near death, implied sex, hes grossly sweet for part of it, mentions of bad parents

a/n: this is a PART 2 to the rulers. a few of you asked and i decided to give us a happier ending than what we wre left with in rulers. (rulers is 12k words and gives the context to this so kinda impt!)

wc: 2k

“Would you fucking stop,” you scowl swatting at the hands on your waist as you stumbled into the office. You roll your eyes at the way your desk chair is pulled out for you. “No can do. You’re supposed to be taking it easy.” Atsumu replies ignoring the frown at him sitting in the desktop. His hand subconsciously takes yours stroking at the skin and you resist the urge to take your hand from him. He needed it.

It’d been three months since the incident and since you’d gone into a coma. You stayed in it for a little over a week. Atsumu remembered how he numbly took in the doctors diagnosis. Something about a complication from the surgery or maybe it was blood loss from the bullet wounds? Something about a seizure thus prompting your state. All the medical terminology confused him.

After he finally decided to visit three days later he came as often as he could. He assigned people like Oikawa to do press releases on his behalf. It was already hard enough having to hear events recounted over the news. He couldn’t be the one to talk about it.

“President of Yokohama (Y/L/N), (Y/F/N) caught in apparent shootout with parents among others. The 23 year old was rushed to the hospital by non other that Vice President Miya Atsumu. As of now it is known that (Y/N) has fallen into a combs and that Miya will be taking over. The voting families are likely to vote over a course of action within the upcoming days.”

One thing Atsumu made sure to do was to get your recording. You risked your life to get a confession out of your parents. A confession that they had plans to kill you. He sent the recording off and following their own minor recoveries they were promptly arrested. Trials took long and there’d be no way an official one would happen until you were ready, but nonetheless he was happy that both them and Terushima were out of your hairs.

The day you woke up Atsumu actually shed tears. It was something he denied and claimed that the hospital fumes were finally getting to him when Osamu teased him. But everyone knew better. He’d take your condition worse, a factor that even your little sister teased him on. “(Y/N’s) strong and a bad ass. She’ll be fine. Stop acting like a wimp” he couldn’t even scold the 14 year old for the word choice.

Even though the first face you made was a grimace, followed by confusion and agitation he couldn’t help but think you were beautiful. He stayed in the room as they took the feeding tube out, gagging himself at how gross it all seemed. He held your hand as you took sips of water all disoriented.

A few days after that you were able to go back home and he took you to his. Your sister had been staying there and there was no way he’d let you go back to neither your parents or your own now trashed house alone. He’d wheeled you out of the hospital demanding you to keep your head down at the flashing lights and journalists. He’d buckled you in like a child despite you rolling your eyes and complaining and driven you to his.

He made sure you took all your medications and attended your personal physical therapy sessions. A month in when you wanted to go back to work fully he refused, citing that until you were fine he was the one in charge. He could and would disobey your orders to keep you safe. “I swear once I’m fine I’m going to fucking fire you.” “How do you fire the family head sweetheart? Try again.”

Now two months later you were heading back into your office for the first time. With non other than your shadow practically attached to your hip. You watched as he animatedly recounted some events from his latest press conference and boring financial meetings as his thumb subconsciously rubbed circles into onto the back of your hand. Your hand was slightly sweaty but you resisted the urge to pull away. Ever since you’d found out that you technically died, Atsumu had been more touchy than normal.

“Hey Tsumu?”

The call of his name stopped him mid sentence as his eyes peered at yours with concern. He started questioning if you were ok or in pain and if it here time for your meds.

“Thank you. For everything. Stepping up, I know this isn’t easy for you, especially since it was so sudden. And for watching after my sister and me.”

“Well it is my job as VP. Ya know when ya can’t do your job. It’s annoying but-“ he chucked as you stood up and told him to shut up. His hands found your waist both as a way to stabilize you and to resume physical contact as you eased in between his legs. “You talk too fucking much,” you mumble arms locking around his neck.

“I was trying to be serious and thank you and here you are making me regret it.” You don’t miss the way his eyes glance at your lips as you talk. You continue playing with the ends of his hair as you talk. “I appreciate it a lot. Even if you are overbearing and annoying.”

“Yeah well, we’re us. And you know I’d take a bullet for ya”

“Too bad you didn’t take this one,” you muse using one hand to motion at your healing side. You smiled as his hands slipped under your sweatshirt to caress the scar.

“I wouldve.” He says the words without missing a beat while you frown. “Being sweet doesn’t suit you. Where’s asshole Atsumu.”

“I almost lost ya. I was the one who held ya in the backseat as you bled out. I had to get rid of the car. Couldn’t get the smell, stains or memories out. I was there when you flat lined (Y/N). Sorry if I cant act normal like the shit didn’t happen.”

“All the more reason to act like the man I fell in love with,” you shrug. “The non punctual asshole who doesn’t listen to half the shit i say. The smartass who cares for his friends and family more than he lets on. The one so committed to what he does that id never trust anyone else even a fraction as much. Life is short. Clearly,” you snort referencing your own situation.

“No point in being different. What’s done is done. Besides, we’ve got a lot of work ahead of us. With the trial and reformations and-“

“Ya just said you loved me.” Your face scrunched up at his smug one. His voice had a happy lilt to it. “If you didn’t know that by now you really are dumber than I thought. Pretty sure it’s been obvious.”

His reaction was to hop off the desk, this time his arms coming around you in a hug. “God, I’m so in love with ya.” The words came whispered in your ear and you couldn’t help but melt into the hug. “Good or this would’ve been really awkward.”

“Wait a fuckin’ second-“ you eyed him in confusion as the embrace ended you stepping back to cross your arms. “I said i was gonna confess first. Ya just had to mess things up. Take it back. I bet Samu that i would” You looked at him in disbelief. “On second thought-“

Your words are cut off by his hands pulling your hips into his. “Will you be my girlfriend. Let’s make it official.”

“What did i tell you about being sweet,” you scold the both of you leaning in your lips hoovering over each other. “Give me a few more weeks to worry about ya alright?” You nod hands locking around his neck. “Deal. And yes I’ll let you be my boyfriend.”

“Gonna ignore that for now,” before you could react he turns the two of you so that your back was against the desk. His lips ghosting the shell of your ear as he tells you to sit. Before he steps back eying you. “Can’t believe I almost lost this.”

The words are whispers to himself and you almost didn’t hear him as his hands trail up your thighs. “You’re so beautiful.”

“I’m literally in sweats. A far cry from how you usually see me” you tease leaning back to shift your weight into your palms. “Still the most beautiful woman in the world.” You ignore the warmth that blossoms within you opting to grab at his wrist. “I thought I said to stop being sweet.”

You thought you hear him say something about your deal it it’s quickly forgotten as he slots himself between your legs and roughly presses his lips against yours.

—-

A few months later

“Well it’s done. How d’ya feel.” Atsumu is the first to speak out his words filling the space within the car. “Like shit. But I’ll live.” You mutter honestly. “Ya want to take a few days off from the office?” His hand rubs comfortably up and down your thigh.

“And have you try and mess up my office. I’ll pass,” you sigh out, head coming to rest upon the headrest. “Sorry my taste is better than yours.” You flick your middle finger at him before closing your eyes. “Yeah well redecorate your own damn office. Oh wait- it’s not as nice as mine”

His laugh fills the car and you smile as his lips press against the back of your hand. The two of you sit in silence, the forming clouds outside seeming to match the conflict in your heart. “It’s just weird you know.” He nods in support.

“I know they tried to like kill me but— they were still my parents. They taught me everything I know.” A silence fills the car, Atsumu not really knowing what to say. “I hate that you’re so quiet these days.”

“I’ve lost at least 7 years of my life having to worry about ya through all this s-OW!” You roll your eyes as he rubs the arm you’ve just hit. He complained about you having a good arm before telling you to look at him.

“You’ll be fine. Ya got me and-“

“Is that supposed to be comforting?”

Shaking his head he continues,” and your sister and Granny. Our friends, and the whole city behind ya babe.”

You found yourself slowly nodding. You’re right,” you mutter more to yourself before leaning over the console to press a kiss on his cheek. Atsumu gives you a look before complaining. “That’s all I get. What a shitty thanks.”

You notice he slightly reclines his seat a smirk now on his face. “You’re definitely back to being annoying,” you scoff. “If you think I’m gonna ride you ride now you’ve lost it.”

“I’m just getting comfortable. What’s so bad about that. But what’s 1 kiss.” You ignore the way his hand creeps higher as you lean over the console. “It’s not even gonna be that if you don’t meet me halfway.” His eyes soften for a minute as he complied allowing your lips to connect. “Ya know what always makes me me feel better,” he mumbles lips against yours.

The hand that had been on your thought moved to cup your jaw. “If you say sex I’m gonna walk home,” you breathe out as he presses fluttering kisses along the side of your neck. He only laughs. “That and spending money. Let’s go out.”

You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine as his touch gets harsher and you can feel the beginnings of a pain in the ass bruise at the junction between your neck and shoulder. “Only if you’re buying.” That causes him to stop, his eyes catching yours. “Aw c’mon ya have more money than me.”

“It’s official. I hate you,” you deadpan pulling away to sit in your seat. “I’m just joking. Lighten up woulda,” he teases the two of you fastening your seatbelt. “Just drive already.”

“Hey, (Y/N). I love you”

“I love you too. Now I think I deserve a treat right?

a/n: well one day i may add on to this universe but for now my longest piece of work is complete. Are there things id do differently? absolutely but for a total of 14k words between the two pieces? IM PROUD. thank u if u read it ily. Untl the next celebration yall

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #atsumu x reader #atsumu imagines #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #hq imagines #atsumu fluff

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ridiculousn3sswrites · 4 years

Text

Cuffing Language

*Daveed Diggs x Reader

*Summary: Daveed and Reader have known each other since high school and he invites her to a clipping. concert in Oakland.

*Warnings: Alcohol, swearing. Let me know if I missed anything.

*A/N: This was supposed to be posted back in October when I went to the clipping. show in Oakland but oops.

Outfit

**********

When you first met Daveed Diggs, you were the coaches’ assistant for your high school track team. You were a junior looking to beef up your college applications, and you knew having something to do with sports would make you look at least a little bit impressive, even if you weren’t actually on the team. You tended to just fetch things the team needed, or note down things the coaches were supposed to but didn’t want to. It was pretty easy, and you actually kind of had fun with your job.

You were doing your thing, passing out water bottles to the runners, when you first interacted with him. Even though a lot of the runners didn’t really know you personally, they at least recognized you. “Hey, Diggs, heads up,” you called out to him. He turned, and you tossed the water bottle to him.

“Thanks,” he said, drawing it out just enough so you knew he was searching for your name.

“(Y/n),” you provided.

“(Y/n),” he repeated. “I’d introduce myself, but you already know my name.”

“Yup, it comes with the job. Impressive times, by the way.”

“Thanks. You’re the coaching assistant, right?” You nodded, wanting to keep this conversation going (you couldn’t help it, he was incredibly cute), but then the assistant coach yelled for you to pass out the waters before the team had to get back to practice.

“Work calls,” you explained with a sheepish smile, picking up the box of water bottles.

“We could talk after practice, if you want,” Daveed immediately offered, ducking his head with a shy smile as he waited for your response. In any other situation, you’d say he’d offered it a bit too quickly, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up like that.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.” With that, you went back to work before the assistant coach could yell at you again. You didn’t want to overthink things too much; after all, you barely knew the guy. Surely there were completely innocent reasons for him wanting to talk to you a bit after practice. You were the coaches’ assistant, so he probably just reasoned that you’d be around practice a lot so he might as well get on your good side.

Once practice was over and you’d done all the clean up that the coach asked you to, you found Daveed waiting for you on the bleachers. Adjusting your backpack strap over your shoulder, you walked up to him with a smile. Even if it wasn’t a romantic interest, you knew you’d enjoy spending time with him either way.

**********

The two of you ended up clicking instantly. You weren’t necessarily sure if it was in the romantic way or just in a friend way, but you always had a great time when you hung out. The two of you were almost inseparable for the rest of his senior year, but eventually the time came for him to head off to college. You were torn on his last day: you were insanely proud of him for going to Brown, but you were going to miss him more than you’d care to admit. With a promise to stay in touch, the two of you parted ways for the first time.

Fast forward all these years, and you’d actually kept that promise. While you stayed in the Bay for college and work, you watched as Daveed did his own thing all over the country. Whenever he came back to Oakland, you’d drop whatever to hang out with him, and he did the same if you happened to be wherever he was at the moment. It was kind of crazy how you were actually able to keep in touch and stay friends for all these years; there were even friendships you had from college that didn’t keep in touch as well as Daveed.

When Daveed told you clipping. was doing shows again and they were having one in Oakland, you made sure you got the day of and the next day off. You wanted to utilize the time you had with him, especially since you didn’t know when you’d see him next. You absolutely loved the fact that he was successful, and you were insanely proud of him, but sometimes you just missed having your friend around. You’d never complain about it, especially not to Daveed, it was just something you’d dealt with for years.

When the day came, you couldn’t help the excitement that engulfed you. You danced around your apartment, blasting clipping. on the speakers as you went about the process. You’d already had your outfit picked out - with a backup just in case - for days, but as you were getting dressed you couldn’t help but second guess what you wanted to wear. After an hour of going through that mess, you finally decided to just wear the first outfit you’d picked out - a velvet slip dress and black thigh-high boots, with a black leather jacket in case you all decided to go out after the show. Once you dealt with that entire mess, you still had to put on your makeup and style your hair.

A quick Lyft ride over to the venue later and you found yourself on the upper balcony with a drink in hand, looking down over the stage. You recognized a few of Daveed’s other friends around the balcony, but you didn’t really know them well enough to hang out with them. You watched the DJ set, enjoying watching the DJ go through his box of records. You were bobbing along with the music when you heard a familiar voice behind you. “Am I going crazy or did (y/n) finally get a few days off work to come hang?”

When you turned, you couldn’t help your wide smile. Standing there, drink in his hand, was Daveed’s best friend, Rafa. Finally, someone you could hang out with during the show. “Rafa! Shit dude, how long has it been?” You said, immediately walking up and wrapping him in a hug as well as you could without spilling either of your drinks.

“Does Diggs know you came out?” Rafa asked, releasing you from the hug. Rafa had been just as busy as Daveed, and you missed hanging out with him just as much. When it was you and the boys, you always had a ton of fun just screwing around and doing whatever. The last time you had the opportunity to just hang out as a group was nearly a year ago.

“Of course, man, who do you think invited me?” you joked. “Speaking of Diggs, have you seen him yet?”

“Yeah, he’s doing his rounds.” With that, Rafa took your hand to drag you to, you assumed, wherever Daveed was. Sure enough, you spotted Daveed over the crowd. He had that bright smile that you always loved, a second later throwing his head back in laughter at whatever the people talking to him just said. You could feel the little goofy smile growing on your face at the sight of him, and Rafa didn’t miss it. “You still got that little crush on Diggs?”

“Man, shut up,” you laughed.

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” Rafa teased but dropped the subject. You and Rafa stood off to the side for a bit, waiting for Diggs to finish his conversation. The two of you caught up a bit, talking about your respective work and personal lives. You insisted Rafa should let you watch his dog when he needed a sitter, but for some reason Rafa wasn’t down for it. While you were having this little playful argument, Daveed spotted the two of you. He excused himself from his conversation, making a beeline towards his two best friends.

Before you could argue further about Rafa letting you dogsit Mia, you were lifted off your feet and spun around in a hug. “Daveed, put me down!” you laughed, trying not to get too lost in the feel of being in his arms. It’d really been too long since the last time you’d seen him.

“(Y/n)! Look at you! Wow, babe, you look amazing,” Daveed said when he put you down, holding your hand to twirl you once.

“Babe?” you questioned his word choice with a raised brow. You could immediately see him get a bit shy, looking down and then focusing his attention on Rafa.

“I heard you say it too, Diggs,” Rafa decided to jump in on the teasing. You could have sworn you heard Daveed swear lightly under his breath. He was cornered.

“You know, that’s some cuffing language right there,” you added.

“Is it?” Daveed asked, replacing his shy smile with a small smirk. He figured he couldn’t win arguing he hadn’t called you babe, but he could bring you down that road with him. You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the heat rushing to your face at his not-so-subtle flirtation. “You look really nice, (y/n). I mean it.”

“Thanks, Diggs, you don’t look too bad yourself.” You ducked your head, trying to avoid seeing whatever his reaction would be. Rafa looked between the two of you before clearing his throat, drawing the attention back to him.

“So are y’all finally gonna get together or what?” Rafa asked bluntly. Immediately you and Daveed started stuttering out excuses and denials, much to Rafa’s pleasure. It wasn’t until you saw the wicked smirk on Rafael’s face that you finally realized he was just fucking with you guys. Once the realization hit you, you couldn’t help but throw up your middle finger in his direction, which he of course found hilarious.

“So, plots?” You asked, trying to change the topic. You really didn’t need Rafael spilling about the crush you’d had on Diggs since high school, even though you were pretty sure you didn’t do that good of a job of hiding it. If you guys started talking about plans for after the concert, you were sure you’d be able to get Rafael to stop talking about the whole thing. Well, for now at least.

“I vote we do drinks at (y/n)’s place,” Daveed immediately offered.

“Sounds good to me,” Rafael agreed.

“Wait, excuse me?” You asked, taken off guard by the offering of your place.

“Hey, you asked for plots, we gave them,” Daveed laughed. “Two out of three, we’re doing drinks at your place.”

“We’re gonna have to stop somewhere then, all I have at my place is like two beers and a bottle of wine,” you complained. Your complaints were only half-hearted; you were going to agree to whatever plans they suggested, even though you didn’t have anything in your place to really have a night of drinking. Sure, everyone going to your place wasn’t ideal, but you’d deal with it to be able to hang out with your friends again.

“I’ll cover the alcohol then,” Rafael offered. “We can stop by my place, I know I have some stuff.”

“Why don’t we just go to your place then?”

“No, we already agreed on your place,” Daveed said, shaking his finger. Before anything else could be said, someone came up to Daveed and tapped him on the shoulder before whispering something to him. You could see the flash of worry cross Daveed’s face, and you and Rafael shared a look. The person left your group, and you gave Daveed a questioning look. “One of the openers got sick, so I need to go with the guys to see what we’re gonna do about it.”

“Shit, yeah, go deal with that. Just find us after the show,” you told him.

“Yeah, man, I’ll keep an eye on (y/n),” Rafael joked, throwing an arm around your shoulders. You missed the look that crossed Daveed’s face when he did that, but Rafa didn’t. Once again Rafa had that wicked smile on his face, but this time you had no idea why. Before you could question it, Daveed already began making his way to wherever the openers were at.

**********

As the night continued, you really enjoyed yourself. The DJ ended up playing a double set while Daveed and them tried to figure out what to do, but you liked having the chance to really catch up with Rafa while everything was going on. The second clipping. was on the stage, though, your attention was completely on them. You loved watching Daveed perform: the way the normally shy man was completely in his element made you feel something you couldn’t quite name. It was a mixture of immense pride and attraction, but you couldn’t say that last part out loud.

When the show finally finished, it was already nearing midnight. You silently praised your past self for taking the next day off too, knowing that if you hadn’t, you would’ve had to call in sick instead. With the way the three of you got when you were together, you weren’t expecting to go to sleep until the sun was up. You and Rafa chilled by the bar while Diggs did his final rounds, talking to some fans and other people he knew, talking about the plans for the rest of the night. As far as the two of you were concerned, you’d get some food, get the booze from Rafa’s place, and then head back to your place to really catch up.

As soon as Daveed was done, he herded you and Rafa into the hired car they had for him. You teased him about having that ‘movie money’ now, being too good for that ride share and public transport lifestyle you lived. He took it all in stride, even when Rafa jumped in like he wasn’t getting that Nickelodeon money. The three of you actually followed the plan, getting pizza from a local place and then picking up the alcohol. When Rafa ran out to get the liquor, you and Daveed sat in the car, alone for the first time all night. “You know I’m just teasing, right?” You asked, suddenly feeling bad about your money jokes.

“Yeah, (y/n), I know. So, what’s new in your life? You got a little boyfriend now or something exciting?” Daveed asked, redirecting the conversation.

“Nah, work keeps me busy these days. I’m trying to convince Rafa to let me dog sit Mia and that’s the most exciting thing going on now.” You laughed, though you couldn’t help but internally question Diggs choice of conversation. “How about you? Don’t act like I don’t see you running around with that one girl on your Instagram. What’s going on there?”

You didn’t mean to make it sound accusatory, but it sure came out that way. It was like you were accusing him of running around behind your back, even if you meant for it to be a joke. You knew exactly who ‘that one girl’ was, but you didn’t want to make it seem too obvious you were keeping tabs on him. As far as you knew, they were together but not publicly. It wasn’t like you saw Diggs often enough to actually meet his girlfriend if they weren’t public. You were brought out of your thoughts when Daveed laughed. It wasn’t that full-bodied laughter that you loved, rather a smaller, more nervous one. “Yeah, nah, that’s Emmy. She’s a good friend, but I don’t really see her like that.”

You nodded, not sure where to go with the conversation from here. While you and Daveed had a friendship where comfortable silences happened, this wasn’t one of them. You never really found yourself at a complete loss for words before. Before the quiet could turn unbearable, it was broken by the sound of Rafa smacking his hand on the roof of the car. “Diggs, unlock this shit! It’s cold out here!”

From Rafa’s, the three of you headed back to your place. As soon as you were through the door, you opened the pizza box Daveed was carrying and stole a slice, ignoring the protests from the guys.

The night continued about as chill as you could be hanging out with your friends. The three of you caught up, even though it was more like you were catching up with what was going on in Daveed and Rafa’s lives than they were with each other. As you all told stories, you knew your voices were getting louder until it reached the point of everyone trying to talk over one another. It wasn’t like anyone was arguing or anything - you all just got loud when you were together, and adding in drinks didn’t help make the situation any quieter.

It was around three in the morning when you all decided to call it a night. Out of the three of you, you were definitely doing the best. While you tried to figure out what to do to get the boys home, you looked over at Daveed and Rafa on the couch. Diggs looked like he was all of three seconds away from passing out where he sat, while Rafa was talking to him, definitely more aware than his friend. You didn’t think Diggs would be okay on his own, so you figured you’d just let him crash on your couch for the night.

“Hey, Rafa,” you called out, getting the man’s attention. He looked up and nodded at you. “Are you good if I call a Lyft for you? Like you think you’ll be able to make it to your place and not die or mess up my rating?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. What’re you gonna do about Diggs though?” Rafa asked, tilting his head towards the other man.

“I’m thinking he’ll just sleep it off here,” you told him. “He seems pretty gone.”

“I’m still right here,” Daveed said, raising his hand slightly. “I can hear what y’all are saying.”

“Yeah but you’re like half asleep already,” you said. “Unless you wanna head back to wherever you’re staying.”

“Nah, I’m good here,” he said, leaning his head back to rest it on the back of the couch. “I’m ready to sleep.”

You rolled your eyes before turning your attention back to Rafa. “Alright, when do you wanna head out?”

“Whenever you order the car for me,” Rafa told you. You nodded, already loading up the Lyft app so you could get him a ride home. As soon as you confirmed his driver, Rafa started grabbing his things, even though he didn’t bring much to begin with. Once he was near you, though, that’s when he took the opportunity to pull you into a conversation. Rafa took one last look at Diggs to make sure he wasn’t paying attention before he started talking. “Trying to get me out of here so you can have Diggs to yourself, huh?”

“What’re you talking about?” You asked, trying to ignore the heat you immediately felt in your face.

“I get it, you can’t make your move while I’m around,” he continued his teasing. Well, you thought it was teasing. You sure hoped it was teasing. “Just make sure you kids are safe. We don’t need little Diggs babies running around.”

“How long until your ride gets here again?” You asked, looking at your phone. The driver was still five minutes away. It was meant to be a joke, but if you actually had to put up with Rafa’s incessant teasing for five more minutes, you might just lose it. He was the only one you’d actually admitted your crush to, and he was really pushing it tonight. “Man can you chill it?” You asked, stealing a look at Daveed.

“Chill, he’s practically asleep. He’s not paying attention to us.” Rafa laughed at your pained look, trying to get you to look back at him. “Listen, I’m just messing with you, dude. But if you and Diggs end up together or something, I’m rooting for you.”

“Nothing’s gonna happen, man. I’ve been into him since high school, if anything would’ve happened, don’t you think it would’ve happened by now?” You asked, keeping your voice low.

“Trust me, (y/n), there are some things you don’t know about him,” Rafa replied. Before you could ask what he meant, your phone lit up with the notification that your driver was approaching soon.

“Alright, I’ll walk you down to the car,” you said, trying to ignore his vagueness. “Diggs, you cool to stay here if I walk Rafa down?”

Rather than actually answering, Diggs just mumbled something as he proceeded to curl in on himself a little bit. You rolled your eyes and grabbed your keys, nodding to Rafa for the two of you to leave. Getting Rafa into the Lyft with a promise to text you when he was back didn’t take long, and before you knew it, you were back up in your apartment. Diggs was passed out on the couch, but you felt bad looking at him trying to fit his entire body on the small couch. You walked over and shoved his shoulder. “C’mon, Diggs, let’s get you to bed.”

“‘M fine here,” Daveed groaned, slowly blinking awake.

“No, you’re not. You can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch,” you said, pulling him to his feet. He stumbled a bit, and you struggled to support him. “C’mon, just walk with me.”

Daveed seemed to be just aware enough to help you out, walking with you as you led him to your room. You helped him to your bed, content to just let him pass out while you went back to clean up before falling asleep on the couch. “Wait,” Daveed called just as you turned to leave.

“Yeah?” You asked, going to stand beside him. Daveed surprised you by tugging you down to lay in bed next to him. “Do you need something?”

“Nah, I just missed you,” Diggs mumbled, pulling you into his hold. If you weren’t sobered up before, you definitely were now. “I don’t like being away from you, never did.”

“Yeah, Diggs, I missed you too,” you said, biting back your hopes and figuring this was platonic.

“No, like, I really missed you. I wanted you with me, sleeping with me like this.” With that, Diggs cuddled himself further into you, which was a little ridiculous considering the size difference. “I kept thinkin’ you’d finally found some guy to keep you busy cuz I was too slow to say anything.”

“What’re you talking about?” You finally decided to ask him. He was half asleep and drunk, and you knew you could actually talk about this tomorrow, but a drunk Diggs was a brutally honest Diggs. You knew that from experience.

“I don’t want you with Rafa or some other dude-“

“Wait, Rafa?” You couldn’t help but cut him off. You were pretty sure you’d never shown any interest in Rafa, especially since you weren’t attracted to him.

“Yeah, didn’t like the way he had his arm around you. I thought he was gonna make a move on my girl to get me to do something like he said he would,” Diggs whined, pressing his face to the crook of your neck. “Can’t even say you’re my girl, but I want you to be.”

“Daveed, you don’t know what you’re saying,” you tried arguing with him, even though you didn’t do anything to stop the physical contact.

“No, I do. I’ve wanted you to be my girl for a while now.”

“Diggs, go to sleep and we’ll talk about this in the morning when you’re sober, okay?”

Daveed hummed his agreement, but once you moved to get up, he pulled you close once again. “Stay with me, please.”

You wanted to argue, but you knew you couldn’t deny him. So instead, you relaxed into his hold and responded in a near whisper that you weren’t even sure he heard. “I’ll stay.”

**********

When you woke up the next morning, you were immediately aware of the solid weight of Daveed’s arm around your waist. You were still cuddled with him, his chest pressed against your back as he nearly curled around you in his sleep. His breaths were still deep, so you knew he was still out. You moved slowly, trying your hardest not to wake him up. Once you were out of his hold, you made your way to the kitchen, figuring food would help ease the conversation the two of you needed to have.

You were brewing coffee when Daveed finally walked out of your room. You pushed a mug in his direction, and he took it with a grateful smile. “So, you’re awake. You remember anything from last night?”

“I remember pizza and drinks but not much after I started falling asleep,” Daveed admitted. “I kinda remember Rafa leaving?”

“Alright, well that makes this a little bit more difficult,” you said, looking down at your own mug. You decided to turn to your fridge, looking for something to make as you tried to figure out your next words. Once you found something, you turned back around to find Daveed staring at you expectantly.

“Makes what a little bit more difficult?”

“Alright, well, last night you said some stuff when I was putting you to bed. You probably don’t remember, but I feel like we still gotta talk about it,” you explained.

“What did I say?” Daveed asked. If he wasn’t nervous before, he definitely was now. He was avoiding eye contact now, his coffee suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the world.

“Well, first it started out with you saying you missed me-”

“Yeah, you’re one of my best friends, of course I missed you.”

“Yeah, but do you tell all your friends you want them to be your girl? And you’ve wanted them to be your girl for a while?” You asked. You were even kind of shocked by how forward that was. You were expecting to dance around the subject for a little while until Diggs finally dragged it out of you, but here you were, addressing the issue fully in the form of a half-joke.

“What?”

“You heard what I said.”

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry,” he said after a pause. You felt your heart break a little at the apology. Of course he didn’t mean it; he was drunk, tired, and just saying things. Checking the time on your phone, you wondered how long you could stand this before it wouldn’t be considered rude to ask him to leave. “I didn’t mean to tell you-”

“Yeah, I kinda figured,” you interrupted him.

“Like that,” he continued anyways. Now it was your turn to pause.

“Wait, what?”

“I mean, I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now, I just didn’t expect it to be like that. You know, so this wouldn’t happen,” he explained. “Yeah, I like you, and I want you to be my girl. I just really hope this doesn’t make things different.”

“Diggs, no matter what this changes things at least a little,” you started. You could feel the heat rising in your face, the change in conversation not something you’d expected. You’d wanted this to happen since high school, and now that it was, it was kind of unbelievable. “But I’d like to be your girl, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“It’s not going to be easy, especially since we’re both so busy.”

“I know what I’m getting into. I’ve known you for how many years now?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Daveed said with a small smile. “Am I allowed to stay for food?”

“Yes, you’re allowed to stay,” you told him, trying not to let him see your own smile. “I think we should talk more about all of this anyways.”

“As long as you’re my girl, I’m fine with whatever we need to talk about,” Daveed said, walking over to you and bringing you into a hug. You stayed there for a second, enjoying the feeling. You didn’t know exactly what the two of you would talk about, but you had a feeling it would involve a lot more cuffing language.

**********

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness

#daveed diggs x reader #daveed x reader #daveed diggs imagine #hamcast imagine #reader insert #clipping. imagine

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thomasvol6 · 6 years

Text

Do you remember? // Phanfiction

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: slight swearing, fluff, very light smut

Summary: Dan and Phil have been married for 16 years and one night in bed they decide to re-live their favourite moments together

“Can you sleep?”

“Not really”

“Same”

Phil rolled over to face his husband. They had been married for 16 years now but his heart still did that ‘flippy-over thing’ every time he looked in Dan’s eyes, just like it did the first time they kissed, back in 2009 on the Manchester Eye.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” Phil asked softly, still staring fondly at his husband’s eyes

“Oh so that’s where we’re going?” Dan replied chuckling at Phil’s cheesiness. He sometimes had these moments where he just started being incredibly cheesy and romantic, he had always had them and Dan surely couldn’t complain because he loved them.

“I was just thinking at how far we’ve come…I mean, 20 years ago we were lying on our bed, nervous as hell to publish PINOF 10, and now we are married and we have a 15 years old son and a 5 years old daughter together…time flies” Phil said as he started playing with a curl from Dan’s hair.

“Shit we’re going to die like tomorrow”

“Oh c’mon don’t kill the atmosphere with your sad thoughts”

“You’re right, sorry…by the way yes, I do remember our first kiss as well as our last one”

“Our last o-“ Phil didn’t manage to end his question because Dan had moved slightly forward to give him a quick kiss and rest his head on Phil’s shoulder

“We had been walking around Manchester for hours and decided to go for one ride on the wheel and then go home. You payed for both our tickets even though I had insisted that I wanted to pay and the man at the ticket booth pulled the most annoyed face ever because I wouldn’t stop insisting, so you took my hand and dragged me in our cabin. It was cabin number 22 and we were the only people around as it was a monday evening. You kept staring at me and I was like ‘fuck it’ so I leaned in like I was going to rest my head on your shoulder, but then I kissed you and you seemed so shocked that I was afraid I’d hurt you. You re-arranged my fringe and put your hand on mine and we just stayed like that for the rest of the ride, smiling at each other. Wait- are you crying? Oh baby I’m sorry!” said Dan whilst passing his thumb of Phil’s cheeks to dry his tears.

“I…I just got a little emotional, you made me travel back in time there, you know?” said Phil almost apologising.

“Why don’t you make me travel a bit now?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Mmh…maybe our first time? Too much?”

“No, not at all. Close your eyes though, okay? So…it was a couple months since our first kiss and you were coming to stay at my house for a whole week! I couldn’t wait to spend all that time with you and I remember our last skype call, the night before you came here, where you were so happy you couldn’t calm down so you ended up not managing to sleep a minute that night, and when you arrived here you were really tired. My mom, bless her, had prepared the guests room for you, even though I had told her that we were together. I’m pretty sure she was just fine with it and it was my dad to be over-protective about the whole thing so he asked mom to set up the guests room, but anyways…Where was I? Oh yes, you were knackered so I asked you if you wanted to just lay on the sofa and watch a movie together. Being geniuses, we watched Wall-e, like the saddest movie ever, and ended up crying like two babies by the end of it. At that point it was about 4pm and we agreed that if we had a nap we would never be able to sleep during the night, so we decided to go grocery shopping and cook dinner, since my parents had gone to visit my aunt up in Scotland for the week. We went out without our coats and regretted it immediately but we were both too lazy to go back up to get them, so we decided to freeze our way to the store. I think we had seen this recipe on TV earlier and for some reason decided to bake a chicken and aubergines pie, so we bought what we needed and practically ran back home as it was really really cold outside, you know, december…

As soon as we arrived home we were so cold that we decided to snuggle on my bed for a while before cooking and so we did, but then you started to tease me putting your hand on my thigh and kissing me. When I realised what you were doing, I started to do the same. I started stroking your thigh going everytime a little bit higher and closer to your crotch, until you started complaining about the teasing. You were the one who had started!”

Dan let out a chuckle at the memory but didn’t open his eyes, he was in full immersion.

“So…the rest you know” Phil stopped himself from telling the whole story because he knew it would have gotten both him and Dan horny and it would have been a mood killer.

“Yeah I do. Did you like it?” said Dan still keeping his eyes closed but smiling from ear to ear

“Of course I did, you dingo! It wasn’t as nice as it is now, maybe, because neither of us were experienced almost at all and especially not with each other, but it was a great first time. I mean, I had only been with a girl before you and let me just say it’s definitely not the same thing!”

“I hadn’t been with anyone before you, actually” said Dan, only at this point opening his eyes to look at his husband’s reaction

“Yeah I know babe, it was so obvious that you lied about not being a virgin!” answered Phil surprising Dan

“What?? You knew? Oh that’s embarrassing!”

“It’s not embarrassing at all! I actually like the idea that I’m the only one who ever fucked you”

“Philip Michael Lester Howell, first of all, did you just say ‘fuck’? And second of all, we’re 50 years old. I think ‘fucked you’ isn’t the best of ways to describe our love making”

“I’ll tell you what, Daniel James Howell Lester, I say whatever the fluff I want!” said Phil not managing to keep a straight face and bursting in laughter. They both cuckled for a while until Phil said “Hey, I want to travel more! Tell me about our wedding pleeeease”

He closed his eyes waiting for Dan to start telling the story but he was surprised by a quick soft kiss, and his blood started to go to his shoulder again as his husband had moved his head onto his own pillow.

“Sooo, let’s go back to 2022, shall we? I remember being so nervous I actually threw up a couple of times the night before and I wanted to call you so bad but I decided to be strong and ended up suffering alone, until my brother came to look for me in the bathroom. He knocked and came in without waiting for any reply and as soon as he saw the mess I was he sat next to me on the floor and put his hand on my knee, like a silent ‘I’m here’. After a couple minutes of silence I said something like ‘I really love him’ or ‘I love him so much’ and Adrian hugged me saying ‘I know you do’. I didn’t sleep a minute that night and was about to text you a million times but I actually only did it once, to say goodnight to you. You replied IMMEDIATELY and I remember thinking that maybe you were in my same situation” Dan stopped to check if Phil was still awake

“I was in the exact same situation, just without the throwing up part, you know my stomach is made of iron!” Phil said keeping his eyes shut.

“Yeah, I know. Anyways, when my mom came to wake me up in the morning she was really excited to see that I was already up and getting prepared. She said she had made pancakes for me downstairs and that my suit had been ironed and was waiting for me in the laundry room. I ate my pancakes and put on the suit, then went to check if Adrian was ready. He was still in his pj’s but the ring boxes were ready and his suit had been ironed too so it was no big deal. As soon as I saw you walking towards me in the wedding garden I completely forgot of any worryings or preoccupations and my heart was filled in with just love. I can’t even remember what the guy who married us was saying because all I could think of was how could you possibly look even more beautiful than usual in that suit. Yet, you did. I still remember, though, my votes. ‘Phil, I promise I’ll always be by your side: when you decide to dress up as punks, when you want to have 3-hour-breakfasts and when you want to live the rest of our lives together. I promise I will do the laundry every saturday as we decided 10 years ago, that I will tell you when I finish the milk and that I’ll take Nuki out for walkies more often. I love you Phil, I’ve loved you since when, back in 2008, I would watch your videos to relax, I loved you when you asked me to move in your flat and I loved you even more when you told me that there was powerful wifi- I mean…when you said that you loved me too’ Jesus, I think I will remember that forever” Dan said with a smile on his face

“That was a wonderful speech, I can imagine you remember that I couldn’t contain my tears, too” replied Phil, him smiling too.

“Your turn again! I want…mmh…the day we finally took Noah home please” said Dan closing his eyes again and settling down

“Okay, soooo 2023. It was the 31st march when they called us from the hospital saying that Noah was arriving. I remember literally grabbing our wallets and keys and RUNNING downstairs like the building was on fire. You almost got killed by a taxi whilst trying to get him to stop, which ended up working, but still! Anyways, we got to the hospital in 10 minutes and ran through the corridors trying to find the room. When we finally found it, room 209, and walked in, we were immediately attacked by the nurses who quickly gave us gloves and and masks and went back to the bed where Lauren was. She seemed really happy to see us but also kind of terrified. Mmmh...I guess it's because a baby was about to exit her ladydoor"

“I cAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT” screamed Dan pushing himself up with his elbows. He didn't scare Phil, though. He was expecting a similar reaction.

“Shhhhh you're gonna wake Emily!” said Phil, now on his elbows too

“From here it's much easier to wake Noah, Emily is three rooms away!”

“Earlier, when I went to the loo, I checked if the kids were alright and Emily had crawled in Noah’s bed. She’s probably had another nightmare”

“Oh bless her. By the way, our 15 and 5 years old kids sleep together every now and then?? You realise that's parenting goals, yeah?”

“Well my brother and I used to do that every now and then too, but I guess it's because he's only a year and a half older than me"

“Exactly. Plus, 15 is a critical age! You know, he's starting to seriously grow and that kinda scares me"

“First of all, we’re freakishly tall so I don't think he's ever going to be taller than us. Second of all, he's only like 5’5. Third, I'm really scared too. What if he's going to meet someone on the internet and run away with them??”

“Oh you mean like I did? Yeah I hope that doesn't happen”

“You were 19, Dan”

“No, I was kidding” said Dan playing with his husband’s face “Now, can you resume the story telling?”

“Oh yeah right, so Lauren was screaming a lot and I don't know about you but she was holding my hand really tight, I thought it was going to explode!”

“Same"

“But finally, after about 5 minutes, Noah came out, screaming a lot too, and the nurses washed him before giving him to Lauren to breastfeed him. He was perfect, about 3.5 kilos and 50cm long. His big brown eyes stared at us for a bit before closing and then he slept for like 10 hours.

When, three days later, we finally brought him at home, we were both really emotional but his room was so cute! Do you remember it? We had put a tiny little wooden bed and painted the walls of pastel light blue. The floor was a very light green moquette and we had bought those huge Ikea plastic leaves so the whole room looked like a forest.

Being right next to our room, we could (and still can) hear everything he did so for the first couple of months it was really difficult for us to sleep, but then we got used to it and now I don't even notice it anymore to be honest. We were so happy when he arrived home and every free minute we would talk and sing to him our favourite songs, but the only song that managed to make him fall asleep was Interrupted By Fireworks. Do you remember how many times we played it at the stereo? I think probably more than ten thousand times...anyways, I think Noah’s love for books comes from the fact that we used to read to him constantly so hey, that's some good parenting right there!”

“It sure is!” said Dan “My turn, I'm telling Emily’s story.

We had decided, this time, to adopt, so after contacting the agency and signing all those papers and various meetings with various people, we only got to see a photo of Emily in june 2033! She was a week old, so it was the 27th, and she was sooo cute! She had very light blue eyes and very thin,almost white hair. I remember the nurse who was taking care of her telling us to make sure we thought her some Swedish so that she could learn about her origins. I think she knows it pretty well by now, doesn't she?”

“Definitely, plus both her and her brother love Knäckebröd so I think we've done a good job with that too” said Dan, satisfied.

“Yeah...Dan?”

Dan turned on his side to face Phil, as a silent ‘Yes?’

“I love our life. Thank you for giving me all this” said Phil, getting teary again

“Oh baby I love it too. I love our kids, I love our dog, I love our home and I love you, so much”

Phil kissed his husband then went back on his pillow

“Now I'm gonna go make us tea and check the kids, could you go lock the door please?” said Dan getting out of bed

“Sure” replied Phil, him also putting his feet on the floor and slowly standing up to not get dizzy

“I really needed this tea, you know?” said Phil stroking Dan's hand with his

“I think at this point I'm pretty good at reading your mind. Let's see...mmmh...right now you're thinking that you'd like to fuck me" said Dan moving his fingers on his head like he was actually reading Phil's mind

“Hey! You told me off like an hour ago for saying that!”

Dan chuckled and pulled the duvet to his chin, pulling a fake innocent face

“But you're right actually, you are pretty good at reading my mind"

#dan and phil #phan #phanfiction #phandom #dan howell #danisnotonfire #phil lester #amazingphil #phan fluff #phan fiction

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killatrav87 · 6 years

Text

There For You {Travarna}

Title: There For You

Date: May 21, 2018

Staring: Travis Kelce and Sharna Burgess ( @sharnaxburxo )

Rating: SFW

Summary: Sharna loses DWTS.

Travis: Travis was sitting on the edge of his seat the entire show. He was nervous and could feel sweat coming from his armpits. He cheered loudly for his fiancé and Josh. When he heard Jenna’s name was called, he felt devastated because he really thought his fiancé had it. When he could, he walked to find Sharna. He hugged her tightly and rubbed her back as he felt tears against his chest. He kissed the top of her head as he rubbed her back soothingly. “It’s okay. Babe.” He whispered in her ear and sighed as he held her. He kissed the top of her head.

Sharna: She didn't go into the finale very hopeful. She had been there three times before, and the same outcome always happened. It didn't hit her until the freestyle that maybe she could get this thing. After Jenna's name was announced, she smiled gracefully and congratulated her. She was happy for her, but it wasn't until after she saw Travis and he hugged her tightly when the tears fell. Sharna couldn't help it. "I...I thought I had it for a second..."

Travis: He lifted her chin so she could look at him, “I know baby, I thought you did too.” He kissed her softly then wiped her tears. “I love you so much baby and I’m very proud of you.” He told her truthfully, “Everything you’ve done was perfect and I know you’re hurting because you’ve been here so many times.. You have my votes all next season.” He told her trying to calm her down the best way he could. He hugged her tightly, rubbing her back gently.

Sharna: "I shouldn't have thought that...thinking I would actually win..." She shook her head. "This is the 4th time I've been in the finals, I don't know why I haven't been able to win...I must be doing something wrong." She sighed. "I shouldn’t be this down, but this really hurts..." She felt him rubbing her back gently, and holding her tight. "I love you too...thank you for being here...for me, with me. I'm sorry I'm a mess right now."

Travis: “I don’t know babe because I thought you did one hell of a job this season, if I could fix those votes i would to have you win because you deserve it more than all of those other pros. Your time will come and I can feel it.” He told her then shook his head, “Babe, I told you I’m going to be here for you. You’re allowed to be a mess.” He kissed her cheek then started kissing all over her face to get her to laugh at least.

Sharna: "I never had a tougher season before, crammed so much into 4 weeks." She shook her head. "I hope it does, I don't want to leave the show without winning, that would just be shit" She sighed. "I know, I just....you've never seen me like this..." Sharna sighed. "The last time I was in the finals was after we broke up, so no one's seen me as a mess after I lost." She shrugged. "Stooop!" She giggled as he kissed all over her face.

Travis: He frowned when she brought up their break up. “And I’m here now and I’m going to be here. I’m not going anywhere.” He promised. He chuckled as she told him to stop. “Nope. I don’t see a smile.” He told her as he kept kissing her face and started tickling her.

Sharna: "I know you are baby...I know." She looked up at him. "Noo don't!" She started to laugh and a small smile showed on her face. "Can..you just hold me before we gotta hit the wrap party? I just wanna pity myself for a few more seconds." She sighed.

Travis: He smiled then nodded, “Yeah, Let’s get this cuddle party started.” He smiled then kissed her softly and hugged her tightly again, swaying slightly. He hummed softly.

Sharna: She snuggled up closer to Travis and sighed. "You're comfy." She said into his chest. "Thank you for being here, I can't thank you enough." Sharna looked up at him and kissed him softly.

Travis: He chuckled, “I’ve been told, by my fiancé.” He smiled then returned the soft kiss. “You’re welcome.” He smiled at her. “Do you want me to come with you to change?” He asked.

Sharna: Sharna didn't want to be alone. She had been alone in this moment for too long,and couldn't be anymore when she felt this way. "Please?" She asked as she grabbed his hand.

Travis: He nodded and held her hand, he wrapped his arm over her shoulder and walked with her to her trailer. He kissed the side of her head as he rubbed her arm gently. He sat down on the couch and pulled her onto his lap, holding her tighter, rubbing her side, gently.

Sharna: Once they got back to her trailer, Travis sat on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. She wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his shoulder. "I feel really clingy right now but I don't care." She sighed into his shoulder.

Travis: He shrugged, “I’m not complaining babe.” He told her as he continued rubbing her side. “I’m here for you babe and I want to do whatever I can to get you happy again. I’ll be your tree babe, you can cling onto me all you want.” He reassured her.

Sharna: "You'll be my tree?" She started to laugh. "That's pretty random." She smiled at him. "I know I'll get over it, just might take a little bit. I don't know what i wanna do though. I know I have a bit to get out of here before the wrap party."

Travis: “I don’t know babe. I’m just trying over here. People cling onto trees right?” He asked, laughing softly. “Well how about you change and we move from there?”

Sharna: "I know you are, and you're doing a great job." She nodded. "Okay, I can do that." She hopped off him and grabbed the jeans and crop top she grabbed to wear to their after party. "Don't watch me." She stuck her tongue out at him.

Travis: “Well you know what, that trophy is so small anyway.” He told her then playfully slapped her ass after she got off of him. He winked at her then covered his face with his hands then peaked through his fingers at her. “But I like watching.”

Sharna: "I know! They said it would be different but I didn't think it was be so small..." She rolled her eyes. "Hey!" She yelped as she got up. "One day I'm just gonna shake my ass infront of your face and see what happens." She winked. "I know you do...well..least I can keep my piercings in again for awhile." Sharna said as she threw her shirt on.

Travis: “You don’t want your first trophy to be that small.” He smiled as he tried to make her feel better. He chuckled, “You know id like that very much.” He winked at her. “Might eat the booty like groceries.” He teased then nodded. “If that’s what you want to do babe.” He smiled as he leaned back into the couch, laying back.

Sharna: "Nah you're right." She nodded. "I know you would, probably wouldn't mind that either." She laughed, finally feeling better. "What I want? I know that but you want it too." She messed with her hair and finally turned around. "So, how do I look? She asked.

Travis: He smiled at her. “You May always be right but I’m right once in awhile.” He winked at her then licked his lips as he got comfortable as he waited for her. “I do, I like having them in.” He told her, “You look beautiful as always.” He smiled, “So where is this wrap party?”

Sharna: "I'm right most of the time, you're only a little bit." She laughed. "Thank you." Sharna felt herself blush slightly. She never could get over how beautiful he thought she was. "It's at a bar not too long from here, don't get too crazy drunk..." She looked at him

Travis: He rolled his eyes then got up. “Don’t get too crazy drunk.” He mocked then chuckled as he walked out of her trailer. He walked with her to the truck that was taking them to the bar, he got in and pulled her into his arms.

Sharna: "Why you gotta be that spongebob meme!?" She rolled her eyes. "It's a pretty calm-ish one since this was a tiny season."She said. They both got into the truck and felt herself being pulled into his arms. "Good news for you is that I don't have to be in Washington anymore." She grinned at Travis

Travis: “Because you make it easy.” He chuckled then winked at her, “Good, you better not wear that jersey.” He squeezed her hip. They got out once they got to the party. He followed behind and let her do her thing while he ordered a drink from the bar.

Sharna: "But I told him he can't get rid of me ever! He's invited to the wedding." She mentioned. "If he wants me to go cheer him on, I will, but yours is the only one I ever wanna wear all the damn time." She smirked at him. He ordered a drink while she mingled

Travis: He made small talk as she mingled. He sipped his drink, he kept his eyes on Sharna every once in awhile.

Sharna: Her freestyle was showing on the tv in the bar and she ran to Travis and some followed to watch. "Oh my god..damn I did do good on that." She laughed before sighing heavily, knowing that didn't help her win. "Are you bored?" She asked him,

Travis: He smiled at her, “You were amazing.” He kissed her cheek then shrugged, “A little.” He nodded then ordered another drink.

Sharna: "Thank you." She kissed him back. "I didn't realize how high he threw me!" She shook her head. "I'm sorry..it wont be much longer I promise."

Travis: He smiled at her then nodded. He stood behind her and rested his chin against her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Okay.” He kissed her cheek.

Sharna: "I promise when I'm done with the interviews we can do what we want in New York, shopping. I'll go with you in a giant shoe store, as long as you help me in Victoria's Secret." She kissed his neck.

Travis: “Deal.” He smirked at her then rubbed her sides. “I’m sure it won’t be a long interview right?”He asked, “Because I want to take you to my favorite place for lunch.

Sharna: “I don’t think so, we only have GMA. I might need a slight nap but then i’m good.” She nodded. “Wheres that?”

Travis: “Oh I’m definitely taking a nap after your interview.” He smirked as he looked at her. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you” He teased, “No but it’s a nice diner that has been to me for a few years, I might have a breakfast sandwich.” He winked

Sharna: “You can stay back in the hotel, you don’t have to come if you wanna sleep.” she nodded. “Kill this hot piece? Oh I don’t think so.” She smirked. “That sounds good, I cannot wait for a few lazy days with you.”

Travis: “I probably will, come back after and we can nap.” He smiled at her then licked his lips. “I’ll hire someone.” He winked at her then chuckled, “We’ll have a couple of lazy days then we have to finalize wedding stuff.”

Sharna: “Not if I get to you first..you and your romper talk.” She rolled her eyes. A small smile formed on her face. The next actual thing she had going on was the weddinng. “Its so soon.” She grinned at him

Travis: He chuckled, “I’ll only stop once I try it on.” He smirked. He rubbed her sides as he looked at her. “Are you excited for it?” He asked, “I’m pretty damn excited.” He winked at her.

Sharna: “Try it on and dont wear it out anywhere, that’s the weirdest thing.” She gave him a weird look. “I am excited. Now I can focus on that and I’ll probably be too many emotions to count for a while, but I cannot wait.” She smiled

#para #p;there for you

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brightisthedawn · 6 years

Text

Deck the Halls

My Shaladin Secret Santa contribution for @luluwritesthings! Requested post-Voltron fluff, and I did my best to provide! I'm sorry it's a bit on the short side, but I hope you enjoy!

Shiro/Hunk/Lance, rated G.

Shiro was still getting used to coming home at the end of the day.

In the abstract, of course, he’d come home at the end of the day for most of his life. When he was a kid he’d come back to his parents’ house, and those sixteen years had been far longer than the years he’d spent at the Garrison, where ‘home’ was somewhere you only went for a few weeks of the year and your bunk was where you collapsed at night; or the year in a Galra prison, where there was no such thing as a bed, let alone a home; or the heady, terrifying years of Voltron, when ‘home’ had been a wondrous if capricious alien ship that he lived in most of the time, and returned to on a schedule that varied based on the local politics and whatever the Galra were up to at any given time.

Going from a cabin in the Castle-ship, drifting through the endless wonders of space, to a cosy two-bedroom house in a quiet suburb had been enough of a change. And now, adding to the surrealism, he came home every day to somebody else. To two somebodies.

It wasn’t the way he’d ever thought his life would go, but Shiro wasn’t complaining in the least.

He landed the hoverbike carefully, lifted the bag of groceries, and swung the front gate open, feeling faintly ridiculous. The front garden was a complete disaster zone and had been since they bought the property. He was probably going to have to do something about that if they stayed. The house itself was in decent shape, as far as he could tell. Lance had been lobbying to repaint the front – “C’mon, what’s the point of having a house if we can’t have a Voltron mural on the front?” – but so far he’d been voted down.

He had, however, proudly brought home a Voltron-shaped door-knocker, now mounted over the letter box. The robot hung by both Lion-arms from the flaming sword, poised in mid-stomp, with the Yellow Lion kicking back into a metal plate with Zarkon’s face painted on it. Shiro didn’t even know where Lance had found it, but it still got a smile out of him most days.

The smell of baking flooded out when Shiro opened the door. Somewhere in the house Hunk was singing cheerfully. Shiro toed his boots off into the pile by the door, hefted the groceries, and followed his lover’s voice into the kitchen, where Hunk was elbow-deep in the sink with his back to the door. The radio was playing something Shiro vaguely recognised as a classic, and Hunk was singing along with a lot of substitutions.

Space hadn’t been easy on any of them. Pidge had a cybernetic right eye, courtesy of the Olkari after one of Haggar’s smaller experiments had taken a swipe at her face. Keith had regrown so many teeth they’d lost count – a side benefit of Galra genetics – and three of Lance’s ribs had been outright replaced after a particularly nasty fight. Hunk had taken his own share of hits. Even from the door, Shiro could see three faint white scars traced across the back of Hunk’s neck, just visible under his hair and the faded ribbons of his headband, the leftover signature of a Druid’s twisted curiosity.

And the radio played on the countertop, beside half a dozen racks of small golden pies, and below the scars on Hunk’s neck was the fading hickey Shiro had sucked into his skin two nights ago, upstairs.

They took on the Galra Empire and won, and this is what they won. It’s strange, in so many ways, but Shiro likes it.

“Hey, Hunk,” he calls, dumping the groceries on the table and crossing the room to his partner.

“ –old-fashioned way – hey, Shiro!” Hunk slotted a mixing bowl into the drainer and turned away from the sink, holding up a hand when Shiro leant in for a kiss. “Whoa, let me dry off.”

“You’ve been busy,” Shiro commented as Hunk quickly towelled his hands dry. “What’re you making?”

“Something special.” Shiro snagged Hunk’s waist and leaned in again, and this time Hunk let him, curling one arm around Shiro’s shoulders to pull him in for a quick kiss. “You know, festive season, we’re back on Earth, we should do it properly. You’re early.”

“Today’s debrief was pretty short. We’d covered a lot of it already.” Shiro’s current job description might as well be ‘Go over the entire Galra war with every officer in the Garrison, twice.’ It was important work, there was no denying that, and Shiro was still a Garrison officer. Still, it got frustrating, sometimes, going over the same thing again, even if he was careful not to let it show. He ran the fingers of his metal hand through Hunk’s hair and smiled. “You have flour on your nose.”

Hunk wrinkled his nose and pulled back, scrubbing at his face. “Thanks. Naxela again?”

Shiro let him go and started unloading the groceries. “The Balmera. I think Professor Montgomery’s going to be after you about power sources again, he seemed frustrated when I couldn’t tell him anything about the resonance.”

“He called earlier,” Hunk said, making a face. Flour was smudged down the side of his nose. “I told him he could wait ‘til tomorrow. Did I get it?”

"You’ve got a spot –” Shiro gestured to his cheek. Hunk scrubbed again, missing the trace of flour by an inch. “No, left a bit – you’re good. What are these, anyway?”

“Mince pies.” Hunk bent down to help Shiro with the groceries, and straightened up with a bottle of milk in his hand. “You know, that was always what I missed in space. Don’t get me wrong, Balmeran cave bugs are amazing, but sometimes I just wanted something familiar, you know?”

Forming the Coalition, Voltron had visited a lot of different planets. A lot of those planets had been pretty spectacular, even to someone who didn’t have the curiosity needed to fly out to the edge of the Solar system in the space equivalent of a rattletrap buggy just to see what was there. Every day had brought a new species, a new culture, or a new natural wonder to marvel at. Mablis had been one of the high points: The capital city was a miracle of engineering, suspended in a gorge by a thousand narrow filaments, with waterfalls pouring down to either side. The fighting hadn’t been too gruelling, and the native Eriglits had been happy to host them for a few days, had offered food and comfortable rooms and surprisingly bouncy music.

It had been peaceful. Pleasant.

At the end of the fourth day, Shiro had slumped back into the bed and realised that he would willingly trade – maybe not his entire remaining arm, but at least a couple of fingers, for a battered paperback murder mystery and a mug of hot coffee.

“I know the feeling.”

Hunk looked down at the milk and smiled wryly before putting it in the fridge. “It was the holidays, mostly. Even when we got the calendar working, we could celebrate but the food wasn’t right. It wasn’t the same. So – this year, we’re doing it right.”

Shiro looked at the racks of cooling mince pies, thought back to his childhood, and smiled. “You know, if we’re going to do it right, we ought to get fairy lights.”

“Already done,” a smug voice said from the doorway.

Shiro jumped and turned around. Lance grinned at them both and hefted a carrier bag triumphantly, then stepped forward to press his lips to Shiro’s cheek. “I got fairy lights. And tinsel.” He bumped his mouth against Hunk’s and dropped the bag, reaching for a mince pie. “I am prepared. This house is going to make people on Pluto jealous of our decorating prowess.”

“Careful, they’re –” Lance spluttered around a mouthful of pastry. “-hot,” Hunk finished.

“Worth it,” Lance managed, though he was panting to cool his tongue down.

“You don’t have to burn your tastebuds off, babe.”

Lance took the glass of cold juice Shiro handed him and gulped it down gratefully. “First mince pies in seven years,” he said between swallows, and put the glass down. “Man, I missed those.”

“So I see,” Shiro said. “And…tinsel, apparently.” He nudged the carrier bag with his foot. Strands of glittering gold, green, and red bulged out of the top.

“Way better than that glittery string we used in the Castle,” Lance said. “We had loads, when I was growing up. We used to wrap it around the bannisters. And then we’d take it off to play with it, and Mom would yell at us for making a mess – we got bits of it everywhere. My cousin made a beard out of it one year.”

"No,” Hunk said immediately, shaking his head. “Lance, I love you, but not the bannisters.”

Lance grinned and wound his arms around Hunk’s shoulders. “How about the door frames?”

“…yeah, okay.”

Shiro shook his head. “So…we’re decorating.”

“We don’t have to.” Lance hung his weight off Hunk’s shoulders and bent back until he was looking at Shiro upside down. “We can leave it if you don’t want to. But I’d like it.”

“No, I don’t mind.” Shiro stepped in and pulled Lance the right way up so he could kiss him properly, quick and sweet. “It’s just…” He laughed, surprising himself. “It’s pretty domestic, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Hunk said, tugging Shiro closer. “I think we earned it.”

Yes, Shiro thought. They really had.

~Fin~

#Shaladinsecretsanta2k17 #Bright writes #luluwritesthings #Shlunk #gdit VLD ship names are so silly #I'm sorry this is so late!

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yes-i-also-miss-our-talks · 7 years

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You Will Be Found: S/O Tag

The kiddos of YWBF decided to sit down together and answer a few questions about their relationships for a video. Enjoy!

(I’m going to do this in transcript form if you don’t mind. There’s just so many of them talking.)

Key:

A: Alana

B: Ben

C: Connor

E: Evan

J: Jared

K: Kaeto

L: Libby

Z: Zoe

J: This is going to be a clusterf**ck. I’m calling it now.

A: Have a little faith!

K: So how are we going to do this? In what order are we gonna go?

J: Twitter asked that we do it in chronological order, by who’s been together the longest. (to L and K) We know they love you more, but this is a group effort.

C: (accusatory) Spotlight hogs.

K: Not on purpose!

C: (doubtfully) Uh-huh.

Z: Boys, play nice. So, to make sure we and all the nice people at home are all on the same page, that’s Jared and Ben, then Lana and I, then Connor and Evan, and Kaeto and Libby last.

B: We win!

K: You hate competitions.

B: We’re still winning.

J: (to camera) Do you see why I love him?

*cut*

Q: How long have you been together?

J: Two years? Two and a half?

B: Something like that, yeah. It was early 2015. Sometime in March.

A: June 3rd, 2015. 10:22 a.m. Zoe had been eighteen less than twenty-four hours.

Z: Aww, you remembered the time. And you waited until I wasn’t jailbait! Okay, Con?

C: Since what, mid-August last year?

E: Yeah, it was right before you went to rehab for the last time.

C: No mind-altering substances and no boyfriend. Double torture.

E: But worth it?

C: (fondly) Like you wouldn’t f**king believe.

Z: *gags* Are you guys done being gross?

C: For the sake of not making this video three hours long, yes.

J: Kaeto and Libby’s turn!

L: What was the question?

J: ‘How long have you been together?’

L: Not long. Since what, early September? More towards the middle? There wasn’t an exact day.

K: I wrote it down, but I can’t remember exactly right now.

Q: What was your first impression of the other?

B: “Why is he smiling like that?”

J: “He’s looking at me like I’m a weirdo but it’s f**king adorable.”

A: “Green hair? That’s someone braver than me.”

Z: “This girl is so nice. How is she friends with my brother? How am I friends with my brother?”

C: Well, fuck you, too.

E: That better not be your official answer.

C: That better not be yours.

(E and C stick their tongues out at one another)

C: But for real, the first thing I remember was like, first grade, maybe? You were always really quiet at school, but then one day your mom came to pick you up after school, and she had this Golden Retriever with her. You lit up a like a g**damn Christmas tree and barreled right into that dog. After that, I always subconsciously kept a list of things that made you happy.

E: Is it still there in your head?

C: Yep.

E: You think it’s accurate?

C: I’d bet my life on it.

E: Well, are you item number one?

C: (blushing slightly) Don’t you have your own f**king question to answer?

E: [referring to ‘first impression’ question] You were always a dark cloud over a room.

C: (sarcastically) Thanks, babe.

E: But you know how I love gloomy days!

L: You two are actually sickening. I’m going to puke.

E: It’s your turn to answer.

L: Nooo, it’s gonna make me seem bitchy.

K: My first impression of you was that you were kind of a bitch.

L: Okay, I feel less bad about it now.

K: Now I don’t wanna hear it.

J: Just spit it out!

L: My first impression of Kaeto - and I warned you that it’s not the best - was “who the fuck is still wearing a giant maroon jacket at the end of May?”

[the kids wince]

Z: Yeah, I can see how you wouldn’t want to share that one.

L: And screw you all for making me say it.

*cut*

Q: When was your first kiss?

J: Like, three minutes after we established that I was not in any way joking about liking him and was dead serious when I said I wanted to date him.

B: (grinning) I have terrible self-esteem and think everyone hates me!

[Michi, laying with her head in his lap, reaches up and licks his cheek]

B: Thanks, Michi.

Z: We kissed for the first time maybe two weeks before we started dating (with air quotes) “officially” or whatever. And then it was another three weeks before we actually told anyone.

A: And by told anyone, you mean being forced to tell the truth after your roommate walked in on us making out.

Z: Yeah, she never talked to me again after I got assigned a new dorm.

A: Connor? Evan?

[they shift uncomfortably]

C: It’s really sappy and kind of personal.

E: Yeah.

J: Alright, you’re allowed to keep it vague.

E: It was like when we got together, in that it was right before Connor went into rehab, but this was literally right before.

C: (nodding) Yeah, I think that’s a good way to put it. Let’s just leave it at that; it’s a story for another video.

E: Yeah. Kaeto?

K: I know what the next question is gonna be, and it ties in with this one, so we’re gonna skip and get back to it in a bit.

L: Yay! Less talking!

*cut*

Q: Who said “I love you” first.

Z: Ooh! I vote we let Kaeto and Libby go first just to settle the anticipation.

E: Zoe, we set up an order. We have to stick to it.

A: Or else society crumbles.

E: Exactly.

Z: (grumpily) I can’t believe I chose the two of you as my favorite humans.

J: Can we go now?

C: Please do.

B: It was Jared. I made him do it.

J: That’s...not far from the truth, actually. I mean, you guys all know this, but the people watching might not, so I should explain that a lot of communicating with Ben requires total bluntness and honesty. It makes you really aware of everything you say and do, as well as often forcing you to really analyze or actions. And for me, who’s socially inept and a self-centered dick, it’s been really helpful to be able to acquire this awareness.

L: Aww, Jay, I don’t think you’re a socially inept, self-centered dick.

J: (flatly) Lib, I’m telling a f**king story. And that’s literally what Asperger’s is.

[caption reading “it is and it isn’t” appears at the bottom of the screen momentarily]

J: (more light-hearted) Anyway, when I realized I was in love -

L: Awww

J: - shut the f**k up - with Ben, I kind of freaked out a little bit. It was all internal, so I did start acting weird, Ben picked up on it, worried he’d done something wrong, and then started freaking out himself.

B: (grinning) I’m crazy like that.

J: Nah. But I had to simultaneously calm him down and deal with the fact that I was scared out of my mind because I’d never told someone who wasn’t family that I loved them before. It was a big, emotional mess and I’m glad it’s over and that we’re still here.

[B nods in agreement and leans his head on J’s shoulder]

A: In the case of Zoe and I, I’m pretty sure it was actually me who said it first.

Z: Yeah, it was one of those cases where it slips out on accident over something kind of mundane. Do you remember what it was?

A: You fed my cats so I could sleep in and then brought me Ovaltine.

C: You never tell me you love me after I feed your cats.

A: That’s because you complain the whole time! Jared steals all my Ovaltine, but at least he’s nice to my cats.

C: We are not having the cat argument again right now!

E: (laughing) Hey, Connor, I just realized that not only did you say “I love you” first, but you did it right after our first kiss.

J: You two moved way too f**king fast.

Z: Give the boys a break, they were holding onto three consecutive years of romantic and sexual tension.

E: You do realize that you’re implying that even while you and I were -

Z: I knew it as soon as I said it, but I’m not gonna take it back.

E: Okay, then. Kaeto, now are you going?

K: (nods) Yeah. So, it was -

L: (interrupting) Kaeto said it first, then I proceeded to grab his face. Not even ten seconds in between and way less sappy than these two losers (points at C and E).

J: (shudders) Why do you have to say everything so bluntly?

L: Why do you have to take such issue in the way I do things?

*cut*

Q: What’s your favorite trait about the other?

B: Jared puts a unique but positive perspective on everything. Except for when he doesn’t, but pure optimism is bad for the soul.

J: Definitely his butt.

[a stuffed rabbit flies from behind the camera and hits J on the head]

J: Sorry, Lily. I was kidding. But really, I’m going to go with either his smile or the way he indirectly forces me to see the world differently and think a bit more before I speak.

A: Zoe takes everything in stride, but not in a way that embraces chaos, per se. She can be met with a problem or situation that seems chaotic or plain overwhelming, but has no issue taking a step back and finding order in it. I don’t do super well with disorganization and chaos, and she’s helped me have more faith in myself when faced with it.

Z: Lots of people have pointed out that I’m basically dating Hermione, and that’s literally the greatest thing anyone could ever say to me. I was obsessed with Hermione as a kid, although I think everyone expected me to want to be like her, not date her. Whoops.

C: For me, Evan is kind of a calming presence, so I’m at ease with him around and having a stabilizing force has really been helpful as I’ve been going through recovery. He’s also very aware of others, which can be his fatal flaw when it makes him ignore himself, but I’ve found it really helpful. Oh, and he makes me go outside. I like going outside, but I need someone to force me to do it a lot of the time. It works out.

E: Connor makes me put myself first in situations where my concern is generally elsewhere. And he draws on sticky notes and leaves them all over the house, which never fails to make me smile. A walking partner is always nice, too.

C: I forgot to mention that you’re a space heater. Sleeping next to you in the winter is the best.

E: And the rest of the year?

C: Well, then it’s just you that’s the best.

Z: (pretends to gag)

L: I would like to set the record straight and inform everyone that my boyfriend has the softest freaking lips I have ever encountered in addition to the best dog on the planet. What else do you need?

K: (shrugs) I’ll take it. I don’t think I necessarily have a part of Libby that I like more than the rest, though. It’s a mix of features and traits that came together just so to make her who she is, and that’s someone I love who love me in return and makes me happy simply by being.

[L hugs K and peppers his face with kisses]

J: (stage whisper) That’s how you know they’ve been together the shortest period of time.

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suggers-got-dingled · 7 years

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ok so I know it's been two whole days and everyone's probably ~~over~~ the buzz by now but I never will be until my dying day and I still have many feelings that keep bursting out in sudden rushes of weeping, smiling emotion every time I think about and look at my photos from the TV choice awards so whilst I'm finally feeling more human yet shattered and still in my bubble of happiness and daze and joy and laughter that seems to treble in potency late at night I'm here to relive the best moments from 4th September 2017 which is now officially declared National Ryan Hawley Day by his number one fan and tv husband Daniel Benedict Miller *deep breath* here we go...

getting off the Leeds to London train to find out Iain, Sally, Charlotte and John were also on it and we were completely oblivious to the fact we were sharing the same enclosed air as soap's best loved cast and most loathed man lmao (honestly we should have known from then on that it was going to be the most momentous day?!????)

seeing Iain once again as he walks past and ignores a group of very bitter robron fans whilst everyone tries their best to hold back with a couple of oooh's here and there, awkward tension that you could literally cut with a knife and comment of the night "can we all hush because he won't give us robron back at all" WHAT IS THIS TUMULTUOUS LIFE I LIVE I HIGH KEY WANTED TO LEAVE EARTH

the same very bitter robron fans forgetting about any foregoing drama, gathering together both in person and online to love and appreciate and support our boys. Meeting fans we'd spoke to for months (even years) for the first time and instantly connecting because of our mutual passion. It was just so pure???? and lovely??? and comfortable???? how happy and delighted and wrapped up in dryan we all were sat on those cold, hard floors cuddling for warmth, bonding and crying over how kind everyone was being as we posted our photos. It was one of - if not my favourite - times in the fandom (aside from the soap awards) and it made me realise why we're all still here on this rollercoaster journey

all being in a designated group waiting in anticipation for Danny and Ryan content as well as their arrival on the red carpet and making the loudest most inhumane noise as soon as the first photo was released, to say all eyes on us was an understatement IT WAS GR8

getting the news of more photos and videos and interviews and articles and reacting together it just made the experience so!! much!! more!!! special!!!

chatting with Kate Oates for a good few minutes and her giving an awkward side eyed chuckle as we tell her we miss her and need her back HONESTLY she is such a babe and I think she just about gets our current despair lmao bless

completely missing Danny and Ryan rolling up looking a solid 12/10 as they dive straight in the door and feeling deflated but also on top of the world (pretty sure my only view was Ryan's blonde locks sticking out from the crowd of heads and I have never felt more fortunate)

deciding to sit round the front in the dark and wait for any signs of the boys whilst contemplating how and why this god damn ceremony won't just start and it ending up being THE MOST SUCCESSFUL DECISION OF ALL DECISIONS

some random man asking if we're waiting for Danny Miller because he sensed 'that vibe' I don't think I've ever related to a passer by so much in my life it was amazing

seeing Danny first (of course, how many times does that boy want to take a cig break outside?!?!) him casually strolling over to us after he'd dealt with the sought attention on the other side whilst we're all must remain cool and collected, must try and not transport my thoughts from my brain to my mouth about how much I want to rip that suit without a tie off him and ruffle his perfect hair

him being the sarciest little shit??? "you travel about you lot don't you" were the very first words to come out of his mouth and I'm just??? thanks Danny for reminding me what a high key mess my life is it's all because of you I hope you know that!!

him saying he'd record Ryan's speech before the knowledge of him winning was actually in (LOL HE SO KNEW AND I'VE NEVER KNOWN SOMEONE BE SUCH AN ENTHUSIASTIC FANGIRL FOR RYAN HAWLEY I WOULD HAVE SOLD MY SOUL TO SEE HIS NERVOUS BEAMING LIL FACE THE MOMENT HIS NAME WAS ANNOUNCED)

Danny saying Ryan said he'd come out to see us later and us being all *insert everybody calm down it's happening gif here*

THE MOMENT WE FOUND OUT RYAN HAD INDEED WON BEST ACTOR AND NOW BOTH OUR BOYS WERE AWARD WINNING ACTORS there were genuine tears of merriment with hands clasped over faces it was a beautiful sight to behold and I've never been as ecstatic

Danny coming out (again) once the show was over and Emmerdale had smashed yet another award show, us applauding from a distance and Danny cheering with us from the other side of the road

us getting told to be quiet by the security for the hundredth time that night

then the biggest blur of the century occurring almost immediately afterwards as Danny tells us he's gonna bring the winning man out to us not even giving us chance to compose ourselves

A WILD RYAN HAWLEY APPEARS WITH THE BIGGEST GRIN ON HIS FACE CLUTCHING HIS SHINY AWARD AND MY LUNGS NEARLY GIVE IN

DANNY FOLLOWS RIGHT BEHIND HIM LOOKING SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY AND PROUD OF HIM HE WAS ON THE BIGGEST HIGH AND I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN HIM LIKE THAT EVEN WHEN HE'S WON HIMSELF, HE HAS SO MUCH SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR HIS CO STARS IT'S SO UPLIFTING

RYAN'S FACE AS HE HEADED TOWARDS TO US WHEN HE TURNED HIS HEAD AND SAW US ALL THERE I'M LITERALLY NEVER GETTING OVER IT him straight away asking us if we'd voted, thanking us for doing so whilst telling us how much winning means to him with his dedicated adorable speech. Him saying he thought John would win and being totally shocked, he genuinely never expected it all and he was so grateful and appreciative as everyone was congratulating him and singing our proud praises WHY IS HE SO FUCKING LIFE RUININGLY LOVEABLE AND ADORABLE AND MODEST HE'S THE CUTEST ANGEL I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIS SMILE AND HIS SWEET WORDS

Ryan just melting my heart to mush and reminding me why I hold so much admiration for him I'm just so honoured to have seen him right after his win and so unbelievably pleased we could show him outright the love he deserves and has instead of hearing it from second person IT WAS SO CHILLED AND SO PLEASANT TO SEE RYAN SO RELAXED MEETING US I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER SEEN HIM SO AT EASE AT A TIME WHEN HE ACTUALLY LEAVES HIS HOUSE (the drinks and Danny’s company probably helped)

DANNY JUST STANDING BACK AND LETTING RYAN DO HIS THING AS HE PRACTICALLY PUSHES HIM TOWARDS US EMOTIONAL AWAITING FANS I'm getting flutters in my tummy typing this out why am I like this why do they do this to me like???? what the fuck??? he just started filming randomly after he purposely went inside to bring him out and let him know there's plenty of people who are proud of him??? like he needed to witness him all there with us and he came out with him as backup because he wanted to record the moment we all gave him double the love he gives him on a daily basis I will never ever ever ever recover from this HOW WILL IT SINK IN HELP ME

us being completely unaware that Danny was filming at first and then just being in a state of belief about it, after we found out it was on Instagram and watched it back it was meltdown I tell you I have never been so thankful to be hidden behind a bush LMAO WILL I EVER GET OVER DANNY GLADLY EXPOSING US ALL AND CAPTURING THE FOCUS OF MY FRIEND JADE AND HER LIL CONFUSED WAVE NO I WILL NOT IT MAKES MY LIFE LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE

Danny getting us into trouble by the security for the third time that night and him just howling about the fact whilst carrying on filming despite the professional demands HE'S JUST WALKING AROUND FILMING HIS KING WHY THEY GOTTA RUIN THE VIBE IDC IF PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING RYAN HAWLEY AND DANNY MILLER ARE WITHIN REACHING DISTANCE IN THE SAME ZONE LET US ENJOY THE EUPHORIA

Danny being a cheeky, playful little shit 2.0 "where's that video going then" "never you mind" *smug smile and wink* "you so knew Ryan had won didn't you that's why you said you'd film the iconic moment for us???" "oh I can’t tell you that can I" *another smug smile and wink* I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART

A DRYAN PHOTO MY FUCKING DREAM COME TRUE I WAS SHOOKETH TO THE CORE I STILL AM I CAN'T STOP WEEPING OVER IT EVERY TIME I CATCH A GLIMPSE OF MY LOCK SCREEN

explaining what being shooketh is to Danny and hearing that word from the horse's mouth what a weird encounter

ridiculously happy Ryan Hawley holding his award up in every single photo like a proud child receiving their first medal with a school sticker smile IT'S ALL I NEED IN LIFE HE'S SO PRECIOUS

Ryan still finding the time to be the caring dad being concerned about how fans are going to get home, introducing himself with a handshake and reassuring them with a "don't be nervous" I was all awwwww'd out it's just sheer lunacy I can't cope with him

DANNY COMPLAINING ABOUT GIN AND TONIC BEING £20 SAYING RYAN CAN GET THE DRINKS IN SEEN AS HE WON AND DIRECTING HIS NEED TO GET WRECKED IN RYAN'S INFLUENCED AND BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS AURA "let's go get fucked" - that both ends my life and resurrects me every time it crosses my mind p l e a s e

us being all I LOVE ROBRON, hugging and just genuinely being inconsolable after the power duo said bye and headed off to enjoy the party together like there's so many mixed up memories it was that overwhelming and surreal I think I'm still in the midst of a dryan hangover

walking round London at midnight on autopilot and a delusional bubble just going through the motions breathless with no idea where we are or what we're doing, not even looking when crossing the road, nearly getting run over and not even caring because if we died right there and then we'd die at peak levels of happiness

heading back on a 5hr megabus journey just absolutely shook to the core, recapping and waking up from two hours of broken sleep turning to each other and being like OH MY GOD WE ACTUALLY GOT A PICTURE WITH DANNY AND RYAN

I ended up walking through Leeds at gone 6am in the pissing down rain, my onesie and no makeup but it was well worth it to see Emmerdale sweep the board clean and the two men I owe my life to TOGETHER! IN! THE! FLESH! Honestly I wish I could bottle up the moments and the feelings and just dish it out for everyone to experience because literally nothing compared.

I really do have such an overwhelming amount of love for Danny and Ryan and I'm about to cry again like wow they are just too cute I've never seen a friendship so heartwarming, two people being so loving and tender and supportive towards each other in real life whilst being in a constant cycle of snogging, fighting, problem facing, soul consuming and devoting deeply onscreen. I'm still in disbelief I can't even concentrate on reality nothing else matters but them those two married tv husbands and I don't think I'll ever love anyone more. I was just here living a normal, basic life being a normal, basic human being and then dryan came along and changed everything hehehehe the pain. Seriously, Emmerdale has destroyed every particle of my sanity lately but it's times like this when it hits me that there's no denying they own my ass completely EVEN ON MY DEATH BED THE EVENING OF THE 4TH SEPTEMBER 2017 WILL STILL BE THE LAST I SPEAK OF DESPITE THE REST OF MY DIRE INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL LIFE EVENTS CONTINUING AS I GROW OLD

#long post #dryan #danny miller #ryan hawley #emmerdale #tv choice awards #*#this is dedicated to my anons that i haven't got round to answering yet lmao #it's taken me all night to type up who even am i #will i be sleeping right now???#of course not i'll be reliving it AGAIN #enjoy this absolute mess #i put it in a read more because it's h u g e

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lloydpark

Lloyd Park

tmstation

galathing

gala.