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cynic-spirit · 3 years

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The Poem Series (2) “My Love is like to ice, and I to fire” - John Wick

The woman sat wit her other friends and John watched from afar. He turned back to the bar and led out a sigh. Addy takes note and finally approaches John. While wiping the bar with a small cloth she asks John:

“What has gotten the boogeyman to sigh?”

“Self-Contemplation”

“for…?”

“For daring to imagine a life”

“With her?”

“Would she?”

“If you ask her”

John scoffed. He has not asked out any woman on a date before. He never thought he is a man to be tied down. He was an assassin. He was the one who was feared. He was cold, ruthless, feared, and taciturn. How could a woman be with him. In his world he was like Hades. This woman who had just sung on stage was unaware of his life, his past, his tragedies. She had become his Persephone and like Hades, he would make her love him. He would win her heart buy offering her his. He would carve himself open and offer everything he has for her. John became stiff. His body was an outcome of years of discipline. He had a pronounced jaw, with dark beard decorating it. He imagined her with him saying his name and his body jolted. Yes, he decided. I will go and talk to her right now.

John turns around. He looks at the table. There is no one seated at the table. The waiter is picking up the plates and glasses. John looks around with a hope to find the mystery woman named Diana. He hoped that he might catch her before she leaves. Around the entire club, he cannot find her or any of her friends. She has left. John is now restless. For a few moments, he felt he was not alone. He was honest with himself. He thought about her, he felt about her, he dreamt but now that dream is vanished. John knew that it would be difficult to win her for she is a free woman, but he knew he could never again be a free man. Her presence, the few moments with her were enough to drive him to madness and bring the boogeyman to his knees. John finished his whiskey and asks Addy

“Did you see where she went?”

“No. I was talking to you”

“Do you know who she is?”

“I haven’t seen her here before. Perhaps she is new to the place? What are you thinking John?”

“Her name she said was Diana”

“Yes.”

“She didn’t tell her last name.”

“No. She didn’t. You seem smitten John” Addy finally teased him.

“No Addy. I am not smitten. I am just curious” With this, John gets up and leaves.

John had never been a man of many words. He has never spoken much to anyone. He knows in his heart that he is not just curious. The moment he saw her, heard her, a part of him walked out of his body and wrapped itself around her, and there it still remains. How will he find her in this vast city. There are so many women named Diana. He cannot take the resources of the High Table for anyone who interests John will become a target for his enemies. He cannot risk his beloved’s life. He will find her himself. John’s determination however gets riddled with doubt when he thinks, what will he say or do when he finds her. John has not been trained for this. He is confident in his abilities as an assassin but it is not what is needed now. John further thinks, if he asks her, if she agrees, if they are together, what will he say he does for a living. Would he tell her the truth? Would she accept it? She will be repulsed by him, or worse, she will be scared of him. He does not want to lie to her. No. He will not lie to his beloved. He sat in his car and goes to his house.

John’s house is away from the city. He is a private man. He is serios and stoic and rarely speaks more than necessary. He prefers actions over words. His home is a place where can be what he is for real, John. It is a place where is just John. Even his dog, a black pit-bull, is called as just “dog”. John changes his clothes and goes to his basement. He needs some time with his hobby. John enjoys book-binding. He got into book binding from the orphanage he was in. He found restoration and binding of books, soothing, peaceful. With each book he bound, he felt as if he restored part of himself. Through many books that he restored, he was able to find a sanity that resulted in him falling hard for a woman whom he barely knew. John smiles as he binds the first edition of Pride and Prejudice. He thinks about the woman named Diana and does not know whether he is regretful that she didn’t sleep with him or charmed by her singing. Every cell in his body for telling him that she was his happily every after. John puts in the finishing touches on the book and keeps it with the others. John then goes to sleep thinking of her.

It is a new day and John is now up. After having breakfast, and feeding Dog, John has decided to go to the bookstore. It is not so much a bookstore as an antique store. John often takes books from this place and restores them. The shopkeeper, Harold, knows John. More than his name, John, Harold also knows the Boogeyman. John takes a look into the shop for other old books. As he looks around he recollects the innocent face that he came across the previous night; The innocent face with that heavenly voice. The small interaction between John and Diana can hardly be called a meeting but she etched herself in John’s mind. She has tattooed herself on his heart. Yes, John was sure that he was in love with her. Unconsciously, John picks up an old book. It’s a poetry book, and on one of the pages John reads,

My Love is like to ice, and I to fire:

How comes it then that this her cold so great

Is not dissolved through my so hot desire,

But harder grows the more I her entreat?

It was a poem from Edmund Spenser. John does not understand much of poetry or literature ut somehow those lines intrigued him. He wondered what were they about. Lost in his thoughts, John keeps looking around the shop when the sound of the bell on the shop door rings. John leaves out a sigh. Another customer, he thinks. John is not a fan of crowds or people. He is a loner. He sighs. He will come at a later time. He is about to leave when he hears a voice, a very familiar voice, the same voice that has consumed him for the past few hours.

“Hello. Do you have the first edition of The Little Prince?”.

For a few moments, John is in disbelief. Is fate suddenly kind to him? Should he test it? With reluctance and hesitation, John turns and thanks to all the powers in the universe. It was her. It was her, standing on the counter, talking to Harold.

“I have been looking for the book all over. I checked a few other antique shops. DO you have it?”

“Let me check”

Harold goes around to check for the book, as she, the woman who had captured John Wick’s heart stood on the counter waiting, while John stood again in a fix. He has another chance. Should he take it, Should he talk. John is about to talk to her when Harold returns.

“I am sorry, we don’t have it.”

“Oh. Its okay. It’s a hard edition to find. Anyway, thank you.”

With that Diana turns around and faces John. John swore that he would never let those eyes lose their sparkle.

“Hi. John Wick, right?”

“Yes”

“I am..”

“Diana” John interrupted, earning a smile from her and he knew, he would kill another hundred people to see her smile that way again.

“Yes. That’s right. Fancy seeing you here.”

“I could say the same thing”

“I am just looking for a book. Do you live around ?”

“Yes a few blocks away”

“Oh my! And who is this little guy” Diana comes closer to Dog and scratches him behind his ear, earning a whine and woof.

“this is dog”

“Might I say, its an apt name”

“I loved your song yesterday”

“oh. Thank you. It was better than the other thing. I am not usually that forthright with men”

“do you sing professionally?”

Diana blushed and John’s heart raced. “No, I teach literature. Music is just something I enjoy”

Diana’s attention goes to the book John has in his hand. She observes that he has put a finger on one of the pages. She cannot resist and asks.

“What have you got there John?”

“Just some random book I picked up”

“Looks like an anthology of poetry, may I see it?”

“Yes Of Course”

John extends his arm to give the book to Diana. She takes it carefully, not mixing up the page that was opened by John’s finger. As she took the book, Johns hand brushed against hers. John closed his eyes momentarily. Her skin next to his skin, He has had women before, in all ways, in all forms, but when was the last time he was touched? He wondered. The one second that his hand brushed with hers, John knew what he craved. He craved her mouth, her voice, her hair. He was silent and starving. He used to prowl through the streets, and he realized its not the food or money of the killing that would nourish him now. Dawn and dusk disrupt him. He now craves the nourishment of his soul that he will find only through her. He is hungry for her sleek laugh. He is hungry to become the reason for it. He has been pacing around like a hungry, deprived, soulless body all through his life. She was his rain and his harvest. John could go on but he was brought to reality when he heard the voice.

“You are reading Spenser.”

“It is a random page. I don’t even know what it means.”

“would you like to know?”

“know what?”

“What the poem says”

“Yes”

Diana slowly reads the first four lines again. My Love is like to ice, and I to fire:How comes it then that this her cold so great Is not dissolved through my so hot desire, But harder grows the more I her entreat?. She almost whispers the last line. Then she looks up at John and says,

“ its about two lovers John. The poet says that he is like “fire” inside, but his love is comparable to “ice”. Mainly because he is unable to express his love the way he wants to. When he says, But harder grows the more I her entreat We realize that the two lovers are fundamentally very different people. But then the love of the man is so great that it will not stop them from coming together. Spenser is laying that love has the power to change everything. It has the power to alter anyone’s life”

John could not believe what just happened. Was this fate carving him a path towards this woman. He did not open this poem. He has not read poems in his life and when he opened the opened a random book, it was a poem about love and lovers that expressed his feelings like he never could. John’s heart raced. Yes, he decided. He will pursue this woman. He doesn’t know how, but he knows he will bring the worlds together to win her heart. Finally he spoke.

“its beautiful”

“Yes it is”

“I am not a very talkative person”

“I can see that John. Do you want me to leave you be”

(No never. Consume me, set fire to me. Burn me with your words, your voice, your presence. Take every bit of me, destroy me, build me and destroy me again. Consume me like the fog engulfs the city. Consume me like death devours the soul. You are what resides before, beyond and betweeneverything I am now. I am only a fragment of your magic John thought, but he just looked down, smiled and said)

“Would you like to go for a cup of coffee?”

#john wick fanfic #john wick x ofc #john wick x original character #john wick #john wick x original female character #fanfic #fanfiction #the boogeyman #the continental #john wick fanfiction #john wick fluff #john wick x reader #john wick x y/n #y/n #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu reeves #keanu reeves fanfic

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lawrenceop · 4 years

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HOMILY for 2nd Sun after Pentecost (Dominican rite)

1 Jn 3:13-18; Luke 14:16-24

During this Octave of Corpus Christi, today’s Gospel, known as the parable of the Great Banquet, is read. This is fitting. For the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, in which the Most Blessed Sacrament is given to Man, is that Great Banquet of the Lord. The Mass is, as St Thomas Aquinas says, the sacrum convivium, the Sacred Banquet, in which we receive the Lord, remember his Passion, and have a promise of future glory in heaven, a promise of our place at the heavenly banquet spoken of in today’s parable.

Hence Pope Urban IV said in 1264 when he instituted the feast of Corpus Christi: “Therefore [Christ] gave himself as nourishment, so that, since Man fell by means of the food of the death-giving tree; Man is raised up by means of the food of the life-giving tree [i.e., the Cross]. Eating wounded us, and eating healed us. Thus the Saviour says, ‘My Flesh is real food.’ This bread is taken but truly not consumed, because it is not transformed into the eater. Rather, if it is worthily received, the recipient is conformed to it.” This conforming of the recipient, the guest at the Banquet, so that he becomes like Christ the Host is a work of God’s grace. It is a work of God’s mercy. It is a work of God’s saving love.

The parable therefore stresses the expansiveness of God’s love, God’s mercy, and God’s grace: ultimately, all Mankind has been invited to the Banquet, and so to taste the goodness of God; to receive the salvation that comes from the Passion of Christ; to receive the grace that conforms us to Jesus and makes us like him in friendship and in charity. Truly, this is the Banquet that makes us into friends of God and into better lovers of one another so that, as St John says in the epistle, we will “love [not merely] in word or speech but in deed and in truth.” (1 Jn 3:18)

For at this Banquet, that is to say, in the Holy Mass, we have the “special and outstanding memorial of [Christ’s] love” for all peoples. In the Mass, we behold and we receive the One who shows us the costliness of love. For in this sacred Banquet, Christ’s Passion and Death on the Cross is remembered. In this great Sacrament, God demonstrates his love for all peoples. For, as St Paul says, “while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.” (Rom 5:8) Hence Christ has given his all for all, even for the unworthy. This is the mystical meaning of today’s parable, for this great Banquet, which is symbolic of the richness and endless depths of God’s love and friendship is ultimately for all peoples, even sinners.

Contrary to some of the ideas current at the time of Christ, then, Jesus stresses that the Messianic Banquet of heaven is open not only to the Jewish nation, who would come to reject him and insult him – for this is what the invited guests in the parable did – but God’s grace is now extended also the Gentiles. The Gentiles are those who, in the symbolism of the parable, are the “poor and maimed and blind and lame” because the Gentile nations could be said to be handicapped with regard to salvation because they were not numbered among God’s Chosen People. However, Christ overturns this exclusive notion, and he teaches, as the prophet Isaiah did, that God’s salvation is for Jews and Gentiles alike; God’s grace is freely given to all. And finally, there is a third group of people who are mentioned in the parable – those “at the highways and hedges” who are “compelled” to come to the Banquet. Who are these? It would be wrong to think that this verse gives us justification to force people to become Catholics and to come to the Mass, of course. For there can be no compulsion in love. Rather, this part of the parable refers to those who are ostracised and live outside of the towns, those who are reluctant to come because they are afraid, because they feel unworthy, because they feel they must earn God’s love.

Sin, especially the ones we are most ashamed of, isolates us and we are, so to speak, kept outside of town. The tactic of Satan, with regard to sin, is to divide and conquer us. Therefore, the Saviour comes to gather us into friendship with him and with one another; Christ’s grace frees us from the isolation of sin and calls us into a communion of love with God and our fellow men and women. The word Church, indeed, comes from the Greek ‘ekklesia’, meaning the assembly, the gathering, the people called to come together. We, who are all sinners, all unworthy of God’s love and mercy, have nevertheless been called together, compelled, even, to sit at God’s holy table. We have been made worthy by his grace, because God, in his love and mercy, has called us; he has chosen us, and he now wills to give himself to us. Awareness of our universal unworthiness as sinners and of our common need for God’s grace and mercy is surely the basis for any equality that we might hope for in our societies. Clearly, justice and equality among us will always be lacking if we are not steeped in God’s life-giving love as a response to our fundamental death-deserving lack of virtue.

The poet George Herbert expresses this really well in his poem called Love (III), which I quote in full:

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back, Guilty of dust and sin. But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack From my first entrance in, Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning If I lack'd anything.

“A guest,” I answer'd, “worthy to be here”; Love said, “You shall be he.” “I, the unkind, the ungrateful? Ah my dear, I cannot look on thee.” Love took my hand and smiling did reply, “Who made the eyes but I?”

“Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame Go where it doth deserve.” “And know you not,” says Love, "who bore the blame?” “My dear, then I will serve.” “You must sit down,” says Love, "and taste my meat.” So I did sit and eat.

In this sacred Banquet, therefore, in the Holy Mass, we have gathered together – when not prevented by our concrete circumstances – not because we deserve it, nor because we have any right to it, but we are present, here and now, entirely by God’s grace. We are called together so that we can taste the Love of God. The Eucharist, therefore, is called the Sacrament of Charity because it is the love of God sacramentally present and visible for us, and it also makes us into Lovers like God – we are conformed to the Eucharist, conformed to Christ, as Pope Urban IV said. Thus, St John says in today’s epistle: “By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But if any one has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him?” (1 Jn 3:16-17) Pope Benedict XVI called this “Eucharistic consistency”, meaning that if we receive the Eucharist, and indeed, even if we cannot at this time but we long for the Eucharist, then we long, ultimately, not merely for the Sacrament but for the res, the reality of this Sacrament, namely Christ and union with him through charity. We must long, therefore, for Charity itself and live according to that Christ-like love.

In today’s epistle St John spells out what this entails. He says: “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death. Any one who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.” (1 Jn 3:14-15) Therefore, says the apostle, “let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth.” (1 Jn 3:18)

This apostolic teaching on Eucharistic consistency is found in St Paul’s letters too. His injunction in 1 Corinthians 11 is read each year on the feast of Corpus Christi: “Let a man examine himself, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself.” (vv28-29) These verses have often been thought to refer to the necessity of belief in the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist, or to the necessity of refraining from Holy Communion if one is in a state of mortal sin lest one “eats and drinks judgment” upon oneself. Both these positions are absolutely true, and are necessary with regard to the Eucharist. However, the Liturgy places today’s epistle within the Octave of Corpus Christi so that we can providentially read St Paul’s teaching in the light of St John’s instruction. If you look at the context of 1 Corinthians 11, St Paul isn’t teaching about the Eucharistic doctrine of transubstantiation. Rather, he’s scolding the Corinthian Christians for their lack of Eucharistic consistency. In particular, he is concerned about how the Christian community treats one another and talks about one another, and how we behave together.

St Paul says: “as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.” (1 Cor 11:26) In other words, the Eucharist is a proclamation of God’s love, demonstrated for all on the Cross. The Eucharist is the Sacrament of Charity. When we eat and drink of the Blessed Sacrament, therefore, St Paul warns us to “examine himself… for any one who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment upon himself.” (1 Cor 11:28, 29) Recall that St Paul also refers to the whole Church as the mystical Body of Christ. Therefore, he says that before you receive the Sacrament of Charity, examine your conscience: Do I love one another as Christ has commanded me to? Do I have charity and indeed, reverence, for the whole Christian people, the Body of Christ; for the clergy and laity, even those with whom I disagree and who I think are sorely mistaken? Do I remember that God has called the ostracised and unworthy to his Great Banquet, and so I am to show the same generosity, mercy, and love? These questions, it seems to me, help us to “discern the body of the Lord” as St Paul puts it. They help us to avoid profaning the Eucharist through our lack of love for our fellow Christians when we approach the Sacrament. For otherwise, if we receive the Eucharist without love “in deed and in truth”, then, St Paul warns us, we risk coming “together to be condemned”! (1 Cor 11:33)

This great Sacrament of the Mass, therefore, is the great Sacrifice of God’s love for us sinners. Through it, by his grace and mercy, God conforms us to Christ who is Love incarnate. Through it, we are made to become Lovers of God and lovers of our fellow men and women, of our fellow Christians. As the Lord says: “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (Jn 13:35) So, let us long for Communion in a holy way, with charity. Let us thus receive the Eucharist worthily for, as Pope Urban IV said, “if it is worthily received, the recipient is conformed to it.” And, therefore, let us be transformed by charity so that all peoples will look at what we say and what we do – in our various interactions, particularly on social media right now – and let them hence know that we are Christ’s disciples, students of Love himself. And if we can’t be charitable online, it’s probably best to log off and spend more time with the Lord in prayer. For “you must sit down, says Love, and taste my meat: So I did sit and eat.”

#charity #Eucharist #Sacrament #Blessed Sacrament #Mass #Love #discipleship

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emmagoldman42 · 5 years

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On July 13th, Willem Van Spronsen was killed by police as he attempted to burn a fleet of vehicles that mere hours later would be used to destroy the lives of working people and families. That alone should be enough to know who he was.

Willem was a member of the Puget Sound John Brown Gun Club, and though we were separated by a continent, we fight for the same convictions he fought for, under the same banner. We hold him in our hearts as a Martyr in the battle for universal freedom and dignity.

In the wake of such an loss, we are forced to wrestle with a complex of conflicting emotions. First among these is sadness. We mourn the loss of a comrade, an elder and a seasoned fighter for liberty who cannot be replaced. We mourn because we know that a part of his actions were driven by despair. This is a weight we feel acutely, because we suspect that it was only in the absence of a stronger abolitionist movement that he felt the need to lay down his life so resolutely. We ask ourselves if Willem might not still be with us, if the streets were flooded with recalcitrant bodies, refusing to allow the sins of Germany 1933, Japanese Internment, or the horrors of the US Reservation system to re-inflict themselves on the soil of America, 2019. In that way, his sacrifice demands of us that we fight harder and risk more, so that resistance to fascism need not be a suicide mission for the most committed. He demands of us that we never again let anyone who is willing to risk life and freedom for their neighbors go on alone.

We also mourn because we know that this will not be the last time we are forced to reckon with the loss of a brave sibling in battle. Of the many gifts Willem has given us, the opportunity to learn how to draw strength from our fallen is particularly dear. We believe this is what we mean when he told us:

"To those burdened with the wreckage from my actions, I hope that you will make the best use of that burden."

Mixed with this sadness however, is an anger that we all feel, like a collective wound. When we have gathered together in the days since his murder, we can feel that anger in one another as hot and bright as in ourselves. It crackles in the air around us and between us. The anger of indignation, refusal, and defiance. The anger that says "your days of sleeping easy while you prey on our most vulnerable neighors are over". The function of Martyrs is that they do not die. They stay with us. March beside us, lighting a fire in our hearts and stiffening our backs. The fire that Willem lit did not smother when his heart stopped beating. It poured out of him to fill the hearts of thousands up to overflowing, just as Sid Hatfield's did when he was gunned down on the courthouse steps. Just as John Brown's did when he rode the gallows in Virginia. We will stoke that fire until it burns away all complacency, all fear, and all impulse to half measures. Until it burns away any cage, wire, or wall that would keep human beings from breathing free air.

Willem Van Spronsen's body lies a'mouldering in the grave but his truth is marching on.

For the Patriot and Militia movement folks who may be reading this, Willem's final statement was as much for you as was for his friends. We ask that you think seriously about his words and actions. Ask yourself what tyranny you are preparing to resist when you say you won't comply. Who you are serving when you pull on your plates and carry your rifle into the streets? Which side are you on? Tyranny is here, even if you aren't yet the ones under its boot.

"When I was a boy, in post-war Holland, later France, my head was filled with stories of the rise of fascism in the ’30s. I promised myself that I would not be one of those who stands by as neighbors are torn from their homes and imprisoned for somehow being perceived as lesser.

You don’t have to burn the motherfucker down, but are you going to just stand by?

This is the test of our fundamental belief in real freedom and our responsibility to each other.

This is a call to patriots, too, to stand against this travesty against everything that you hold sacred. I know you. I know that in your hearts, you see the dishonor in these camps. It’s time for you, too, to stand up to the money pulling the strings of every goddamn puppet pretending to represent us.

I’m a man who loves you all and this spinning ball so much that I’m going to fulfill my childhood promise to myself to be noble."

#anarchism #communism #direct action #abolish ice #abolish cbp #abolish prisons #abolish borders

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jbuffyangel · 6 years

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Truth and Lies: Arrow 6x18 Review (Fundamentals)

I love Vertigo. We get the best Olicity episodes out of this drug and "Fundamentals" did NOT disappoint. Angsty Arrow driven mad by his own internal demons and the love of his life fighting through the darkness to reach the light within him?

If you are wondering why this review is delayed it's because I've been watching "Fundamentals” on a loop. And binging Westworld, but that's not my fault. @callistawolf told me to watch it. But really also watching "Fundamentals" on a loop. There’s so much to unpack that this took me three days to write and another full day to gif.

I am prepared to say 6x18 might be my favorite episode of the season. I think I liked it better than the wedding AND the wedding RECEPTION. I know I know. That's crazy talk, but that's what Vertigo does man. EMBRACE THE INSANITY BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME.

Let's dig in...

Olicity

I'm not really sure how to divide this review into sections primarily because it's just a mass of Oliver losing his shiznit, punctuated with extremely excellent scenes with Felicity. So we're rolling fast and loose on the headings. Cool? Cool.

I like angst. No, that's not right. I LOVE ANGST. You really can't survive seven years of watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer live, in your formative teenage years, and not come out with the ability to embrace the pain. But I don't enjoy angst that's just angst for angst's sake. (Yeah that's a sentence. I think.) I want angst with purpose. I want it to move the characters somewhere or at the very least reveal truths. Maybe they are truths we already know and simply need confirmed once and awhile. Maybe they are truths we didn't even know existed. Regardless, if angst has a point then I'm in.

Some may disagree with me regarding the angst in "Fundamentals." It may feel like ground we've already covered, and I can certainly understand why some may have that opinion. I have a differing one, however. I feel 6x18 unearthed some new truths regarding Oliver Queen and his journey this season that I have not previously considered.

Source: @olivergifs

The opening is familiar, but new. The Arrow is back! It's been so long since we've seen Oliver as the Arrow that the action felt fresh. Immediately there was a different vibe compared to all the other action scenes we've seen over the past three years. It is dark, brutally violent and fast. And extremely hot.

The Arrow moves like a shadow and creates a visceral reaction of fear. That piece is familiar. The skill set of the Arrow and the Green Arrow remain the same, but their tactics are not. The Green Arrow works within a team. He is quick, but deliberate. Strategic, but adaptable. He is threatening, but instills a sense of calm. The Green Arrow doesn't shy from the light the same way the Arrow does. Both masks serve justice, but one instills hope while the other instills fear. We are supposed to notice a difference between these two personas, which is why "Fundamentals" opens fast and hard with the violence of the Arrow. It's to remind us of Oliver Queen's evolution and how far he's come. What drives and fuels the Arrow is something the Green Arrow does not have:

Rage.

Oliver has opened up his heart over the last six years. He rediscovered brotherhood and friendship. Oliver fell in love and became a father. The anger created by the injustice all around him and his five years of trauma is no longer burning him up inside. Oliver faced the worst parts of himself, and by doing so, the anger gave way to something else. Something more hopeful. The Green Arrow fights injustice just like the Arrow, but the tactic is not merely to beat it down. The Green Arrow wants to build upon the ashes of injustice. Oliver also recognizes the mask is not the only avenue in which he can be of service to Star City. He finally realized the man behind the mask can also have an impact.

Or at least... that's what Oliver tried to do. As usual our hero fails as much as he succeeds, but real change does not come without failure. The problem is Oliver does not understand where he went wrong. Team Arrow has fallen apart. Rene and Dinah betrayed him. Curtis turned his back on Oliver. And John Diggle, his brother, left him.

"You've become a better man, but a worse leader."

John's words are haunting Oliver because he doesn't understand them. How can he be a better man, the man John always asked him to be, and a worse leader?

Listen, I am 100% on Team Oliver with this one. That's straight up bonkers and Diggle doesn't have Vertigo as an excuse. We're also supposed to wonder what in the blazing hell happened to Oliver that he's wearing the Arrow suit, going full rage-a-thon, and walking into what is obviously a suicide mission (even for him).

*Drugs, drugs, druggidy, drugs* Oh sorry. We're supposed to be pretending we don't know why Oliver is cuckoo for cocoa puffs right now. My bad.

Source: felicityssoliver

So, we're flashing back to ten hours earlier. Now it's really important to remember we are supposed to be confused with the timeline. Both the police captain and the DA have accused Oliver of firing them to impede the Green Arrow investigation . Unfortunately, Oliver just fired them because they admitted to being Diaz's lackeys and not because he has actual proof. I think. Last week's episode was so many levels of screwy I kind of stopped paying attention to some of the details. Anywho, Oliver begs his genius wife to get some rock solid evidence against them so he can hold onto his day job. Also, avoiding prison would be neat.

The SCPD security monitors go white noise at exactly 10:13 every night, so Felicity rapidly deduces Diaz is monitoring his lackeys at that time. Oliver agrees and wouldn't you know that's prime Green Arrow time! Felicity immediately tells Oliver he can't go in there alone because suicide, but he's too jazzed about ending all his Diaz problems to listen.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Felicity, bless her heart, decides to play marriage counselor one more time and parent traps Oliver and Diggle into meeting into the bunker. Yes, she actually uses the words "parent trap" and it's awesome. I love one cupcake. Also, the original Parent Trap with Hayley Mills will always be the superior version. Come fight me.

It's a disaster. Both Oliver and Diggle are still extremely pissed off at each other, which is fair. This was one horrid fight. Diggle informs Oliver he's considering taking a job at A.R.G.U.S. and Oliver offers a solid burn in return:

“Last time you needed something from A.R.G.U.S., you had to steal it.”

I, once again, am on Team Oliver on this one. I don't mind the snippiness and think it's fairly warranted. If John is looking to find a purpose beyond Oliver Queen and live outside his shadow (and he is - even if he can't admit it yet), then I fail to see how A.R.G.U.S. is any different. Diggle needs a purpose of his own. As much as I will love seeing a Dyla team up, I don't think it really solves John's problem all that much. A.R.G.U.S. is Lyla's purpose. It always has been. I'm not saying John can't find purpose with his wife and her employer. He certainly can, but a lot of John's argument against Oliver was about striking out on his OWN. This isn't exactly an independent venture. So, I understand why Oliver may see some hypocrisy on the wall.

Diggle: Oliver, you keep up that attitude man you are gonna end up all alone.

Oliver: I've listened to your advice for the last six years. I think I've earned a reprieve.

Oliver has taken, what I feel, is a lot of unnecessary shit from everyone and quite frankly it's way more entertaining to see him swinging back than simply taking it. Felicity is disappointed her little make up session didn't end with bromance hugs and kisses, but Diggle is not surprised. He essentially tells Felicity Oliver is stubborn, alienates people with his attitude, and likes to be alone - and nobody knows that better than her.

It's an irritating comment and not a fair one. If that was all true than Oliver would have never married Felicity in the first place. Diggle keeps throwing ALL of Oliver's past mistakes in his face (and now Felicity's) to continue making his argument as to why Oliver is a crappy leader. Again, Diggle's beef and his snarky comments would have made so much more sense in SEASON THREE.

The real goal of the comment is to make Felicity worry Oliver will ice her out next, which is as about as mean as John Diggle gets. However, it's primarily intended to make us worry about the status of their marriage. I RAISED YOU BETTER THOUGH.

Oliver has a meeting with Councilmen Kullens who tells him he can't fire the very people who are investigating him. That looks really bad. Oliver insists the two are working for Diaz.

Kullens: From what I understand, Ricardo Diaz is a second rate drug dealer who was released from prison on a technicality.

He got the second rate part right. Kullens cannot fathom how a two bit hood like Diaz could possibly coerce city officials like the DA and police captain and oh my god it's even more stupid when I type it. Can we put an arrow in this guy? He bugs me. Kullens informs Oliver impeachment proceedings begin that afternoon and he'll have a chance to please his case then, which means Oliver is on the clock and needs to get some evidence FAST.

Oliver races home to check in with Felicity and take William to his science fair. The kid cloned cabbage. Yes, CLONED.

This is one character we never want to have a dark spiral on Arrow. Use your powers for good William. That's all I'm saying son.

On top of being a child genius, William is also extremely OCD about time. So, when Oliver comes in late his son is extra anxious to get going. This is my child in TV form. She puts her winter coat and snow pants on 20 minutes before she leaves for the bus, stands in the kitchen watching TV, so she's in direct eye line to clock because GOD FORBID she's a micro second late.

Unfortunately, the evidence Felicity compiles against Diaz is only something a police department to get their hands on or... the Green Arrow.

Oliver drops to that lower octave which increases the hot by several levels.

Felicity tries to joke her way out of it by telling Oliver to inform the council he's married to a super hacker and HUBBY IS NOT AMUSED. It's one thing for him to get imprisoned, but he cannot joke about it happening to Felicity. Ugh. I love him.

Unfortunately, Oliver's adorableness is short lived. He rapidly spirals into an asshole. Felicity tries to explain that she tried to set up a believable trail for the evidence but that she ran out of time.

Oliver: You ran out of time because you're focusing on making John and I reconcile instead of doing your job!

HIT THE DECKS. HUBBY IS ABOUT TO BLOW! I think my husband values his life to much to ever say something like to me, but he's been at this a little bit longer than Oliver. Give him a decade. He'll learn.

Felicity is WTF and rightfully so. They segue into arguing about whether or not Felicity is on Oliver's side.

(She is you big, angry tree trunk).

William chooses this exact moment to interrupt their argument by reminding his father that they are running late. When my parent's fought I found the nearest exit. Read the room kid.

Oliver blows. Big time. He yells at William while simultaneously destroying the science fair project. Ah man, that was cloned cabbage dude. That would have made an interesting salad.

Cue awkward silence and horrified looks from Felicity and William. I am so uncomfortable. This feels voyeuristic. *She says while having zero issues watching Olicity sex scenes on a loop.*

Source: @olivergifs

Oliver tries to apologize to William, who storms out, and explain to Felicity it was an accident but she tells him to get the fuck out. I added the fuck because that was the tone and if we were on cable it would have absolutely been there.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

MAMA BEAR MODE ACTIVATED.

Nobody messes with the cub. Not even Dad. Honestly, the addition of William was one of my big worries for Season 6 because I questioned how Arrow would integrate the child into the story lines. But William has become one of my favorite parts of the season, particularly when it comes to his relationship with Felicity. Felicity becoming the world's best step mother is not remotely surprising, but it doesn't lessen the joy watching it develop on screen. William has come to depend on her just as much as Oliver. Maybe even more because they bond frequently over their genius level IQs.

Sometimes you need to tell your child "Not right now" in a stern voice. Sometimes raising your voice is required. Sometimes you blow a fuse as a parent. We are, after all, only human and humans are imperfect. Parents make mistakes. Oliver raising his voice to William didn't bother me too much. Although, I think he could have directed a little more tough love when his son wandered off from the bunker into the field and almost got himself blown up. Screaming over being late to the science fair was a gross overreaction. A stern "take a number buddy" would have sufficed just fine. And yeah, sometimes you have to tell a kid twice because he’s a kid.

What bothered me was the violence of Oliver's reaction. The way he whirled around at William, breaking the science fair project as he did, wasn't simply frustration. It was rage. We haven't seen this level of rage from Oliver in an extremely long time. Even in his fight with Diggle, he tempered his anger and fought defensively during the brawl.

Oliver has a temper. It's a fact of his personality. Nearly every person in Oliver's life has been on the receiving end of it at one point or another - including Felicity. However, Oliver has directed a violent reaction to those who can physically take him on - Diggle, Roy, Rene and Dinah.

Oliver has always been calculated, even to a certain extent controlled, as to who he responds physically to in anger. He has NEVER reacted violently against those he views as physically defenseless against him.

His physical altercation with Thea was defensive even though Thea can kick his ass. He never took Laurel on even after she became BC and I know there were times he just wanted to lay her flat on her ass. The only real exception was when he confronted Moira as the Green Arrow, but she shot him so we see how that went.

There is only one time I can recall Oliver using his body in a physically threatening way against Felicity. Although, there was so much sexual tension I often wonder if he just used the moment to get up in her bubble and enjoy a little physical proximity. Regardless, there's a reason the first time Oliver Queen got in Felicity's Smoak's face was the last time. SHE was the one who put HIM down hard. Strength doesn't have to equate to the physical kind. Felicity Smoak is Oliver's match in every way. She puts his alpha male ass in its place every time he's ever tried to pull this nonsense with her, which is why it only happened once. Any time after was often in defense of others. Felicity always makes Oliver back down.

But this moment is different. The hair trigger rage we often saw in the early seasons of Arrow has returned and Oliver directed it at his son, a defenseless child. There's no excuse for it. Yet, Felicity's reaction is no different than the one we saw in 1x15.

She steps from behind the counter and defensively approaches Oliver with so much speed and protectiveness over William he is the one who immediately backs away.

Source: mingrose

The movement immediately forces Oliver to turn his attention away from William and direct it to Felicity. It's essentially Felicity putting her body between William and Oliver. That said, she always uses her anger and strength to deescalate the situation. Felicity essentially puts Oliver in a time out by kicking him out of the apartment and rightfully so.

So, obviously we are supposed to be asking what the hell is wrong with Oliver? Diggle's words are supposed to haunt us. Perhaps Oliver hasn't changed after all.

Oliver descends to his bunker of solitude. He's obsessively watching the video feed of white noise on a loop, so he's in a super healthy space.

The scrambling of the video and the white noise in between is symbolic for what's happening in Oliver's mind. He's on a loop of white noise that he can't figure his way out of.

There's a knock at the bunker door and this should have immediately tipped everyone off to something being amiss. Why would Felicity knock? When Oliver turns around she just appears. Out of nowhere she's standing behind him. He's startled and Felicity wonders why. Oliver tries to explain what he heard, but can't. The knock had a pounding, distant, echoing sound to it. Like someone trying to open a tightly shut door closed long ago. It's the sound of Oliver's past beating it's way open. He just doesn't know it yet.

Felicity has her arms tightly crossed and keeps her distance from Oliver. He immediately tries to explain what happened, but again he can't because Oliver doesn't understand it himself. He doesn't know why he lost it on William other than things are beginning to pile up.

That's as far as he gets. Felicity coldly and resolutely tells Oliver they should take some space. Oliver is heartbreakingly confused until he looks down at Felicity's crossed arms and realizes she took her ring off.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

The devastation rapidly begins to overtake his confusion, but even then this has to be a joke right?

Oliver almost laughs until he realizes it’s not. Then he becomes helpless as his world begins to crumble.

Source: @olivergifs

Felicity tells Oliver he crossed a line with William. A line he should never cross.

Felicity asking Oliver for a separation sounds like a protective measure for William, but it still doesn't make sense. It's a 180 degree turn. It's too fast. Too abrupt. If you are still harboring PTSD from the Olicity break up in Season 4, and particularly if you read cast interviews previewing the episode, it's understandable why this scene would be extremely alarming. For some, I am sure it was confirmation of a deeply rooted fear Arrow is going to divorce Olicity soon after they married them. This is just another stop in the never ending "will they/won't they" ride.

But there is something in Felicity's speech to Oliver that should have tipped you off something else was going on.

No matter how disappointed or angry Felicity is with Oliver this is simply not something she would ever say under any circumstance. Felicity never believed, not even for a second, that Oliver was the violent, rage filled, monster he tried to portray himself as and believed himself to be. And that's the key right there. This is something OLIVER would say.

William discovering the monster within is a deep rooted fear of Oliver's - not Felicity’s. She never believed the monster existed.

When Felicity looks at Oliver all she has ever seen is a man with a deeply good heart. Felicity always saw the light within Oliver, even when he could not see it himself. Especially when Oliver couldn't see it.

Felicity has admitted she fell in love with Oliver the first moment she met him because of what she saw. Her love is rooted in that belief.

That's not to say Felicity's belief in Oliver's goodness has not been challenged over the years. Particularly when Oliver was doing everything he could to make Felicity believe the monster was real and he was beyond change. Yet, time and again she saw through the facade of darkness to the truth - the light within.

Oliver has "killed" Felicity via LOA gas and shattered their life together with a lie that seemed almost impossible to forgive. I'm not saying yelling at William and shattering cloned cabbage wasn't bad, but I wouldn't rank it in the top ten worst things Oliver Queen has ever done. Let's remember she fell in love with him when he had a penchant for breaking necks. All I'm saying is, Felicity has a high threshold for Oliver Queen darkness.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

So, surgically cutting the cord on their marriage like this feels offs. Extremely off. It is Oliver who fears William will learn of his father's darker side. Not Felicity. Felicity confirming Oliver's worst fear, that he is truly a monster, doesn't sound like her voice. It sounds like Oliver's voice.

Now would be a real good time to remember Diaz and BS maniacally laughing over their last vile of Vertigo at the end of last week's episode. Although, I will give Arrow kudos. They did their level best to fool everyone with the way they cut this episode together.

Source: @olivergifs

The knocking returns after a heart to heart with Lance. This time it is louder and more insistent. Oliver cannot ignore it. Instinctively he picks up a gun, walks to the elevator doors as they open

Source: leraswift13

and there stands Adrian Chase.

Prommy is back to play mind games! TIME FOR SOME CRAZY!!!!

Oliver doesn't understand how Adrian can still be alive because, ya know, bullet to the brain. Adrian's response is basically, "It's Arrow man.. Didn't you fall off a mountain once? Nobody ever really dies."

Now, I know Oliver is trippin on the light fantastic, but that's some solid logic under Vertigo. I give him credit. Prometheus still scares the ever loving crap out of me and the ensuing battle with Oliver is more exciting than all the villains combined this season. I miss you Josh Seggara. Please come back.

Oliver holds Adrian in the same neck hold in 5x23. He dares Oliver to do it and once again we see the moral struggle tearing Oliver apart. He fights the urge once more, but then Adrian reminds him that his mercy cost the mother of his child her life. Oliver snaps when Adrian threatens William and Felicity once again. He snaps his neck.

Source: @olivergifs

Sparing Adrian's life was a moment of triumph for Oliver in Season 5. It was proof to Oliver that he was not the man Adrian Chase accused him of being. He knew the threat Adrian posed, but taking his life would simply be confirmation Oliver was a monster. Killing Adrian Chase would be proving him right.

If Oliver killed Adrian the island would have exploded and everyone, including Oliver, would have died. His mercy didn't stop Adrian from killing himself and ultimately killing Samantha, but that choice was Adrian's. Not Oliver's. There was no avenue Oliver could choose that would not result in the spilling of innocent blood. It is why Adrian Chase is so diabolically evil. Yet, Oliver still harbors guilt over Samantha. Particularly since Diggle used her death as a knife to twist in his back. He still believes there's a way he could have saved everyone, which is the curse of being a hero. The God Complex is often more crippling than any villain.

If you didn't figure out Oliver is hallucinating by the time Adrian pops up alive again, then I can't help you my friend. But if it helps Oliver figures it out and tells everybody what's going on.

Source: @olivergifs

Hallucinating Adrian Chase is the pitch perfect choice to show the manifestation of Oliver's fears. Refresher course - this is what Vertigo does. It really makes you wonder why anyone willing takes this drug if all you get from the high is seeing your deepest fears become real. Can't say that's a party favor I'd be interested in partaking in.

Oliver Queen essentially created Prometheus, so therefore Adrian Chase represented Oliver's darker half. Prometheus is what Oliver could have become if he never met John Diggle and Felicity Smoak. He was Arrow's most effective villain because he was a living confirmation of everything Oliver feared he was.

I give you The Adrian Chase As Oliver Queen's Inner Voice highlights:

Adrian: I always was the one person who saw you for the murderer you are. What are you doing? Oh you are running a blood test. you think you've been dosed with something. You know there is another explanation. A more likely one in my considered opinion. You're finally going crazy. It's completely understandable, Ollie. You've lost everything, even the people I couldn't manage to take from you. I really like this Ricardo Diaz. If he didn't exist I'd have to think of him myself. He's going about this exactly right. Don't hurt the people that you love. Just get them all to abandon you. It's actually the easiest thing in the world. I told you this Ollie. I told you this man! Everything you touch dies. What you're going through right now, losing your team, your wife, the impeachment, all of it is happening just like I told you it would. And nothing in that blood test is gonna change that.

Adrian: It's tough to say you're in a good place when your oldest friend leaves you high and dry.

Oliver: John made his choice.

Adrian: And deep down you know he's right. You've changed Oliver. Sure, maybe you are a better Oliver Queen. A happier Oliver Queen. But it has sure made you a worse hero. You have a wife, son, you're the mayor - all of which yes may be going away, but still it's a fair assumption. You are stretched too thin buddy. Maybe you've gotten so good at being Oliver Queen that the Green Arrow's mission is suffering. You may be happier, but the people that you love - they're not.

Yes, I typed that all out because every line is gold.

Source: dctvgifs

It's very difficult to watch Oliver's brain beat the shit out of him so effectively. Stay strong my son!

In a nice reverse from 3x01, Oliver and the Arrow come face to face once again. Only it's not Oliver Queen who is the villain. It's the Arrow.

For those wondering haven't we déjà'd this vu already, the answer is yes. But the point is to show the flip. Oliver isn't afraid of being Oliver Queen anymore. His fear has shifted into something else entirely. Oliver is afraid being Oliver Queen isn't enough.

He's become everything John and Felicity believed he could be. Oliver has embraced his humanity and in doing so has become a better friend, lover and father. He is actively trying to save the city during the day and in the night. Oliver is trying to be everything to everyone all the time. And yet everything is falling apart. Oliver is still losing everyone he loves. He is still all alone.

It's one thing to be afraid of embracing his humanity. It's another for Oliver to realize even when he does he still falls short. The city is still in shambles, people he loves still die, his team betrayed him, his best friend, wife and son left him and Star City is intent on taking not only his job, but his freedom. And it all happened when Oliver was being the very best version of himself.

Oliver compartmentalized himself because he feared if he merged the two personas then all that would remain is a monster.

It took a very long time,

and facing the absolute worst in himself, to realize there is a good man

under the mask.

However, now Oliver has combined those two personas and yet nothing is getting better. Trying to be everything to everyone and yet still not feeling like enough is crushing.

It's almost more comforting to believe he hasn't changed at all - that Oliver can understand. If Oliver Queen "the hero" is simply a facade, and the monster who fails and alienates everyone while leaving a trail of bodies in his wake still remains, then this all makes sense. As much as it terrifies Oliver, he can understand why everyone has finally left him.

Oliver chose to stop hiding from love.

It is the bond that tethers him to his humanity and what allows the light to break through all the pain, loss and trauma. He has chosen to love with everything he has, and to his horror, it's not enough. His love for his city is not enough.

Source: @olivergifs

His love for his team is not enough.

His love for his brother is not enough.

His love for his son is not enough.

His love for his wife is not enough.

Source: feilcityqueen

This is a different ballgame. It's not a repeat of Season 4. Oliver tried being his best self and FAILED.

Season 6 he succeeded, but it did not create any different result.

It's a confirmation of his worst fear. Any version of Oliver Queen is alienating. Any version of Oliver Queen is a failure.

Oliver always had the mask to blame. He always had the monster to hide behind as the reason why everything he touches he destroys.

But that's gone now.

He conquered his demons.

So, all he's left with is Oliver Queen, but he is incapable of building anything.

He will never be the man he wants to be, the man Oliver promised his father he would be, because that man still falls spectacularly short. That's almost a fate worse than death for Oliver. We've asked Oliver to try for six years. He did. He failed. So now what?

Source: @olivergifs

The only conclusion Oliver can come to is... he was right all along. The monster and the man are one in the same. Oliver will never escape the darkness because he is darkness. Whatever light he has is ultimately powerless to overshadow it.

So, suffice it to say Oliver is spiraling down the insanity hole. The drug is taking a stronger hold on him. He can no longer distinguish the lies from the truth. If he was right all along then the only option is to shut Oliver Queen down again. He lost sight of the mission and losing everything even as Oliver Queen proves to him that the mission is all that matters. He has become the mask and only the mask. The only way he can truly serve it is the way he originally intended. Alone and as the Arrow - the conduit for the darkness within.

If you think Oliver is off his rocker then you'd be right. HE'S ON VERTIGO. He's supposed to be off his rocker. None of this is right. Our boy is so many levels of wrong it'd take me another six years to explain all of them.

Oliver decides this is still a really excellent time to make decisions that will absolutely impact his ability to live as a free man.

Oliver hands over the evidence because it's the only card he has to play to stop the impeachment.

AND QUENTIN LET’S HIM! For the love of God man don't hand Oliver the bullet and help him load the gun! Tackle him. HE IS HIGH AS A KITE. This is not the time we allow Oliver to make decisions. This is the time we tie him to a chair!

Then, Adrian/Oliver convinces himself to go after Diaz.

Adrian: The only way to prove you are the hero you say that you are and keep being mayor is to take down Diaz tonight.

The way Chase uses his finger as a gun to Oliver's head when he says, "I'm in here" sends chills down my spine. It's a striking parallel to the last image we saw of Prometheus.

Adrian always believed Oliver would be the hand causing his own destruction and we are alarmingly close to him being right. Even closer than we were in Season 5.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Felicity and William return from the science fair and her purse starts beeping. Felicity has a GPS on Oliver's bow because that's the smart thing to do when he's fighting crime every night. So the newbies can pass me with their royal indignation. Don't want to get dead? Then get okay with trackers dipshits!

Enough of this hallucination bullshit. Let's get down to what is REAL and TRUE.

Felicity calls Quentin after Oliver doesn't pick up his cell and he fills her in on what's really going on.

Quentin: He said you kicked him out.

Felicity: No, I didn't. I would never!

For all those worried Arrow will eventually take another Season 4 route with Olicity, it’s time to let it go.

Arrow is not interested in will they/won't they with Olicity anymore. Admittedly, they drove that arc into the ground, but THIS episode is about the shift not only in Oliver and Felicity's relationship, but in the way Arrow views it.

Yes, they are going to have angst. Yes, they are going to face problems. Yes, they are going to fight. But none of this will break them apart. Their love is Arrow's anchor. It is what holds this show steady.

The pattern is the same Every. Single. Year. We get snip its of Olicity scenes punctuated by big episodes. 6x18 is a big episode with a big purpose. Arrow played on the audience's fears and insecurities with the promo and cast interviews, because they are Oliver's fears and insecurities too. The show is giving Oliver and the audience one last scare (because it's a television show and that's what television shows do), but now it's time to get down to business. Now it's time to deal in truth.

Oliver and Felicity are married. There are no more break ups. This is forever. PERIOD. Oliver will never leave Felicity and Felicity will never leave Oliver.

FUNDAMENTAL DEFINITION:

adjective

1. serving as, or being an essential part of, a foundation or basis; basic; underlying: fundamental principles; the fundamental structure.

2. of, relating to, or affecting the foundation or basis: a fundamental revision.

3. being an original or primary source: a fundamental idea.

noun

5. a basic principle, rule, law, or the like, that serves as the ground work of a system; essential part: to master the fundamentals of a trade.

There is a double meaning to the episode title. Yes, Oliver is returning to what he believes were the core “fundamentals” of the mission. However, Arrow is outright stating that the solidity of Olicity’s relationship is also a fundamental of the show.

Still don't believe it? Well, then buckle up because Arrow is going to show you how true it is with what can only be called FANFICTION COME TO LIFE.

William, bless his pure soul, eavesdrops on Felicity's call and is all in on mission "Save Dad."

Source: dctvgifs

He hands Felicity a pair of running shoes and holy mother of freaking crap I've never seen the show make this much sense! Felicity is wearing practical shoes in the field y'all!!!!!!!!!

Quentin does his best to stop the beast, but he's no match for Oliver on a regular day. Oliver high on Vertigo and reverting back to the Arrow? Umm... no chance Quentin. Oliver knocks him out cold. A for effort though bud.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Felicity channeling her inner B*rry All*n to save her batcrap crazy husband is a big mood.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Felicity saying she's going to save her husband is an even bigger mood. And Felicity saying the word husband is hotter than Oliver saying wife. I don't know why.

This is not the first time Arrow has used Felicity to break through Oliver's delusion,

but is the first time they've used such a direct approach. What follows is probably one of my all time favorite Olicity scenes - and that's saying something after being on the air for six years.

Source: feilcityqueen

Everything swimming in Oliver's mind is lies, so Felicity has to use the truth to break through. At first she tries using William because he used to be a hindrance to Oliver's willingness to sacrifice himself. However, even in the haze of crazy Oliver knows if he dies then William still has Felicity. He will never be alone. Typically, this should be a comforting line, and while it remains a beautiful commentary on the bond Felicity and William have formed, it is utterly terrifying to hear Oliver so willfully discard his own necessity in his son's life. And that's because of the lies in his mind. His love for his son is not enough. He is a monster. He is a failure. William will be better off.

So, Felicity uses another truth. It's the one she finally confessed to Oliver the day she asked him to marry her. The day all Oliver's dreams came true. Losing Oliver is Felicity's worst fear realized. Would he willingly do that to her? Will Oliver abandon her again?

Oliver believes he can't abandon what he doesn't have. Felicity left him first. Another hallucination Felicity can only combat with what is real.

Felicity calls Oliver baby. It's canon.

I really wish I could sew worth a damn because I'd embroider "I'm glue, baby" on a pillow. Also, be prepared for me to abuse that gif in asks. Fair warning.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Oliver hears her voice and the truth in her words. He desperately wants to believe she is real, but he is so terribly lost. Oliver cannot see what is real with his mind. So, Felicity tells him to feel with his heart instead.

From the moment Felicity Smoak entered Oliver's life she found a way to not only touch his heart,

but to break it wide open.

Felicity has found Oliver every moment he's been lost.

Vertigo is not a challenge for Felicity Smoak.

She found her way through Oliver's darkness and showed him the light within.

He hears her words, feels the certainty of her love against his chest,

and Oliver knows who he is again.

Felicity's truth is the very beat of Oliver's heart.

Oliver reaches for Felicity's hand, holds her close, and lets the light guide him through the dark. Just like they've done before.

Just like they will always do.

Light can travel without end. It is infinite and so are Oliver and Felicity.

The relief Oliver feels is overwhelming and he smiles. Just like that the Arrow fades and Oliver Queen returns.

Diaz gets impatient and decides to attack,

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

which means we get an old school Olicity stunt.

I am super chill about it.

Felicity offers Oliver a Vertigo cure all based off of her hard core partying days of the past.

My kingdom to see Goth Felicity Smoak at a rave... high.

Quentin commends the bad assness that is Felicity Smoak while he recovers from his absolute trouncing.

All it takes is Felicity calling Oliver her man and he becomes a friggin rainbow. He is putty in her hands.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

I cannot even believe we are getting these lines.

There is so much eye sex in their trip down memory lane that I am convinced they took the Arrow suit home for their own special kind of spin.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

You know Felicity has fantasized, so I think it's high time they make it a reality.

Oliver's high on crazy has given way to clarity.

This is worrying given everything we've heard his brain say over the last hour. He's not completely throwing the baby out with the bath water. He remains committed to being a husband and father. He’d like to remain mayor, but finds out he's going to be impeached. Still, Oliver believes in the good he can do as the Green Arrow. However, he is reverting back to doing things alone.

Source: dctvgifs

Felicity stresses what a colossally bad idea this is back at the apartment, but Oliver is determined to separate his worlds again.

Source: oliverfelicitygifs

Lord, boy. It took us five bloody years to get you to this spot, one fight with Diggle and some bad crack, and we're right back to Compartmentalization Oliver.

Oliver regresses in some way every single season. It's always a mistake and it always reveals some greater lesson Oliver has to learn. Comparatively speaking, this is fairly late in the season for Oliver to be regressing which in and of itself shows some character growth. It probably means we'll be dealing with the consequences of this choice into the beginning of Season 7.

So, where do I think this road leading? The fundamental and inescapable truth is compartmentalization does not work. Oliver was on the right track merging his two selves. Quentin is right. Oliver is a better man, but everyone's reaction to it (fueled by their own issues) is throwing him off. He will fail even as Oliver Queen and the Green Arrow, but that doesn't mean the path is wrong.

This road Oliver is about to travel alone is only going to lead to more problems. The season trajectory is pretty clearly moving from Oliver united with those he loves to Oliver separated from those he loves. My guess is prison. But I don't believe Oliver is the character who needs to change the most. My hope is watching Oliver travel this road alone, and still fighting to be the hero he is, will trigger change in the supporting characters. A fallen hero could stop all their childish nonsense and make everyone realize they have to stop blaming Oliver for everything and take responsibility for their own lives. I include Oliver in this as well. For better or worse, Oliver holds himself responsible for EVERYONE. And that's what he has to learn. Oliver is enough, but he cannot be everything.

Source: olivergifs

Quentin and Oliver

Quentin Lance is firmly wearing his Team Oliver hat this episode and it's a welcomed reprieve from his usual crazy pants talk. I guess since Oliver is going insane Quentin had to sober up - mentally speaking.

The scenes between Oliver and Lance are some of their best all year if not the duration of the show.

Source: @olivergifs

Oliver is still a young man trying to make his way through the world. The fact that he's also an orphan seems magnified now that Thea and Diggle have left him. Captain Lance, bless his soul, steps up into the father figure role Oliver desperately needs right now.

Oliver tells Lance Diggle quit the team and blames Oliver for its disintegration. Lance is quick to defend Oliver, who to his credit, does remind Quentin he's not there to witness Oliver's leadership style.

Source: @olivergifs

STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION.

A supporting character is talking sense y'all!

And it's LANCE. Did not see that coming given his trajectory this season. He's spot on. What Oliver has wanted more than anything from Quentin Lance is his respect and he has it. Oliver earned it with six years of hard work and NOBODY gets to take that away from him. Not even John Diggle.

Oliver calls Lance to give him the evidence that clears him of impeachment but incriminates him as the Green Arrow. Quentin asks what Oliver is going to do and he answers helplessly, "I don't know." He tearfully tells Lance that Felicity wants a separation and that he lost his temper with William. Oliver is as lost, alone and heartbroken as we've ever seen him. Quentin accurately points out that losing his shiznit on William is more of a night on the couch punishment and a separation is extreme. Ummm.... YEAH.

But Oliver simply believes Felicity has left him like everyone else. UGH.

Source: @olivergifs

This might be one of the most heartbreaking lines Oliver Queen has ever spoken

and again shows how much he's grown. The old Oliver would simply shut down and solider on. The fact that he's allowing himself to feel this pain and question where everything went wrong shows Oliver embracing his humanity rather than hide from it.

Quentin has probably the best answer and gives the most insight into what is going on with all the people in Oliver's life - particularly John Diggle.

Source: clevercloudpoetry

Can I get an amen?

This is as close as Arrow has come to confirming my suspicions about John Diggle. Oliver becoming a better man means he doesn't need John in the same way. That's incredibly painful for Diggle and would certainly cause him to question his life and purpose.

I am the youngest of three girls. My parents sold my childhood home when I graduated from high school and moved away to college. My father was anxious to move out of our increasingly violent area, but my mother had other motivations. She told me the house made her sad. Every where she looked was another memory of raising her babies and now we were all moved out. We didn't need her in the same way anymore and it hurt. My mother needed a fresh start - a new purpose. The new house was really good for her and allowed her to shift into the new phase of life with my father more easily.

Oliver has grown up and moved away to college for lack of a better word. Everywhere John Diggle looks on Team Arrow is another memory and a stark reminder that he's no longer needed in the same way he once was. He's looking for a fresh start and a new purpose. John needs something beyond raising Oliver Queen the same way my mother needed something beyond raising her children. Unfortunately, Diggle hasn't dug deep into any of this yet. Instead of some self reflection, John has relied on an old standby to explain his rudderless direction - it is all Oliver Queen's fault. John believes this is a stagnancy in Oliver's growth, and not his own, when in fact the direct opposite is true.

What has not changed is the power of Diggle's words and the impact they have on Oliver. He acknowledges what Quentin says might be true, but also fears Diggle may be right - that he hasn't changed at all. Quentin delivers another humdinger of a line:

"Come on. I don't buy that. From what you've told me about John and Curtis and all those guys - they've got their own issues alright? They're just putting them on you."

Hello Quentin Lance. I have missed you.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

Oliver's voice breaks when he asks Quentin about Felicity, but Lance is unwavering. He adamantly reassures Oliver that Felicity loves him and this will all blow over eventually. He just needs to stay the course and Quentin will be by his side. Robert and Moira Queen could not have done any better and I have never loved Quentin Lance more than in this moment.

While this speech gives me all the feels it also fills me with dreaded certainty. Lance is reminiscing about the past. He's admiring how far Oliver has come and is basically the perfect father figure. These signs tend to point to full character evolution. We are on episode 18. This means one thing:

Quentin Lance is going to die.

Just mentally prepare okay? His character arc has circled the drain all season with this "BS is my daughter" crazy. Now he's done a 180 by embracing sanity and offering wise and sage advice for Oliver. You know who else offered sage advice to Oliver just before their deaths?

Sara.

L*urel.

Sageyness is one of the seven signs of impending death on Arrow. Particularly when it comes to Lances. Prepare your souls.

Oliver and L*urel

Speaking of L*urel, we are paid a visit from Oliver's departed ex when he hallucinates his way back into the Queen Mansion (I miss the mansion y'all). There is L*urel,

Source: supercanaries

wearing her Red Coat of Pain.

Since Oliver's deepest fears often equate to his deepest guilt then seeing L*urel at her most innocent, before she knew about Oliver's cheating and the consequences for all parties involved that it unleashed, is not surprising.

Source: katie-mcgraths

In some ways, Oliver kept L*urel frozen in this time even when she was alive. The image of who Oliver saw L*urel as, eternally innocent and broken by his deceit, never quite matched up to the woman we saw on screen. Particularly when Arrow went above and beyond to show L*urel was anything but innocent.

Sara: Do you remember when you spilled that beer on me at Tommy’s party? Well, I wasn’t even supposed to go. But I snuck out out of the house because I knew you were gonna be there. And I had this embarassing crush on you. And, Laurel she knew it. And that’s why the party got broken up by the cops. She tipped off our dad. Then I was grounded for a month and the next thing I knew... you and Laurel were together.

Oliver: You think she did all of that on purpose?

Sara: Not everybody is what they seem.

L*urel was not broken by Oliver's deceit, but by her own anger.

What's important to remember is this isn't Adrian's voice we're hearing. This is Oliver. So everything Adrian is saying is what OLIVER believes.

How he really feels about L*urel becoming the BC is not a pretty picture.

Adrian: My question is why did you let her become the Bl*ck C*n*ry in the first place? She's a lawyer. What, after a couple self defense classes and a few sparring sessions you think she's ready to go handle thugs and killers?

I mean... he's not wrong.

It's refreshing to actually HEAR Arrow admit to the unbelievability of L*urel's training. Yeah yeah, I know she trained with a boxer/vigilante for a couple episodes. Somehow that's supposed to equate to the years Oliver spent training with martial arts experts, an ASIS agent, a highly skilled and lethal Russian mob organization, and an elite member of the League of Assassins. Or the years Sara trained with the League of Assassins. At least they gave Thea six months of intensive training with Malcolm Merlyn, who was also trained by the LOA.

Oh that's right. She trained with Nyssa too. For three episodes (that we saw). L*urel was barely able to stop a knife attack in 3x21 (after supposedly training with Nyssa for several weeks) and then suddenly she's taking several armed LOA members down in 3x22. But you bet, totally believable arc. Made total sense.

Oliver harbors serious guilt over L*urel's death and this hallucination is simply a manifestation of that. There are truths, but also a hefty dose of lies.

Source: supercanaries

The primarily lie being Oliver believing he could have stopped L*urel from becoming BC, or is responsible for the life she chose, or her death in any way. The truth is Oliver wasn't supportive of LL becoming BC and he did everything he could to stop her.

In fact he told L*urel, to her face, he thought she was a liability, a loose cannon in the field, and was going to get herself killed one day.

And he was fucking right.

Oliver begrudgingly accepted her decision, but that was primarily because Diggle and Felicity illogically had L*urel’s back.

JOHN DIGGLE IS A SPECIAL FORCES SOLIDER AND HE SIGNED OFF ON LL IN THE FIELD WITH NO TRAINING AT ALL. AGAIN, MAKES TOTAL SENSE SHOW.

Quite frankly, Oliver had bigger fish to fry in Season 3 and he had to move on.

After L*urel resurrected Sara in Season 4, who then tried to kill Thea and put her in the hospital, she threw another "it's all about me" bitch fit

and Oliver folded.

He helped get Sara's soul back and all of their issues were swept under the rug.

Then Arrow killed L*urel.

So, listen buddy. Sure, L*urel eventually worked her way to capable, but to be frank you had very little to do with it and THAT'S where the guilt comes from. The sparring sessions you speak of only took place a few episodes before she died. This is Oliver's God Complex rearing his ugly head again. Maybe if he trained L*urel more (or at all), maybe if he protected her better in the field, maybe if he found a way to keep her out of the field entirely - then she would be still be alive.

Nope. Sorry fella. None of that would have worked, because L*urel was L*urel and she was gonna do what she damn well pleased. Never mind the fact that Damien Darhk magically froze the team and they were all essentially defenseless when he killed her, but that's just details. Oliver thinking he is somehow responsible for her death in any way takes away from the legitimate heroism L*urel earned.

He understood that in Season 4, but he's pretty high right now. So, I'll give him a pass this time.

Legit question though. If you are a LL fan - why are you still watching Arrow?

I am curious, because I have never seen a show so willingly shade their own creation at every turn like Arrow does with LL. They flat out called her BC arc a bunch of illogical nonsense.

I appreciate the brutal honesty from the show, but it's a zing that packs some punch. After six years of this aren't y'all tired? A few interspersed scenes of Bl*ck S*ren should as hell wouldn't keep me around.

Straight Thoughts

I've never felt so spiritually connected to Felicity Smoak in all my life. Source: felicitysmoakgifs

I appreciated that Arrow used a flashback during Oliver's hallucination with Rene to show his injury was not remotely Oliver's fault. I like when my show talks sense.

Oliver's hallucination of the newbies was the most accurate. They are petty babies in real life too.

Adrian's scar on his temple from the bullet wound is unnerving.

Don't ever kill Raisa again, show. My heart can't take it. Not even when it's fake.

"I always wondered why nobody just does that. Kill you straight." Diaz needs to watch Season 3. See how that option goes. Source: dctvgifs

"Not a great track record when it comes to hiring DA's though." Of all of Adrian Chases' lines are fab, but this is my fave.

This evil cupcake. Source: olivergifs

"He's buying us expensive gifts if he knows what's good for him." Felicity wifes like I wife.

I love this kid. Source: olivergifs

Arrow wisely previewed an Olicity kiss for the all villain ep this week.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 6x18 gifs credited.

#arrow #olicity #arrow 6x18 #oliver queen #felicity smoak #arrow reviews #quentin lance #arrow spoilers #anti laurel lance #anti black canary #anti lauriver #arrow season 6 #season 6 episode review #season 6 episode reviews

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beanarie · 6 years

Text

bone key part 2

[me: no more plotless h/c snippets. write something of substance

my asshole brain: you know a person doesn't just bounce back from what you did to silver in bone key

me: goddammit]

more near death angst from the past and pending ‘verse, james pov

Sometime between finding a place on the boat to stash Silver and setting sail, Silver slips out of reach, into a sleep so deep nothing rouses him. James wonders if this is it. These few stolen moments of peace, can that be all they get? After the endless circles they trudged into moats around each other, it hardly feels enough.

Yet James checks Silver's heart when they reach the shore. He checks when they get to town. Still beating.

The surgeon proposes bleeding him. James barely refrains from violating his personal ban on murder, and that is only due to the man's mother, who shakes her head slightly and takes him aside.

"He is... resting," she says. "There is some hope yet."

"When will he be done?"

She looks to the sky and reaches out with one gnarled, liver-spotted hand to pat James on the arm. Then she tells him where they can rent a room.

Days melt together and eventually he gazes at Silver, peaceful in his absence, chest rising like clockwork and a throat that swallows when it's told, and he knows she was wrong. This isn't resting. It's lingering.

As he approaches the bed with halting steps he suddenly hears Silver's voice, desperate and heartbroken, and part of him is stunned that it took this long to make the connection. The words were tattooed on his conscious mind the moment they were spoken.

I will stand with you, an hour, a day, a year, while you find a way to accept this outcome

"Fuck you." James can twist the world to suit his whim; control the minds of a legion of men, end cities with a single command, resist the will of a typhoon. All of these are true, yet John Silver will only ever comply to his face and do as he pleases behind his back. James kisses the cool, unlined forehead before him. "I will not do this thing you ask of me," he whispers. Silver would say the notion is absurd. He has asked nothing, he has no lesson to impart; he is unconscious. Yet despite everything James has experienced, he still sees design in the chaos. "But I have had enough."

He falls asleep with one arm over Silver's chest and his nose pressed against the pulse-point of Silver's neck. It feels wrong to touch Silver like this, when he can't give that always surprised intake of breath, pull inexorably closer to chase the feel of someone else's skin. But whatever is left of him in there, James doesn't want him to go thinking he was alone.

His first thought when he wakes and sees the familiar shade of blue is that Silver somehow managed to pass on with his eyes open. Then there is a blink. Dead men don't blink outside of nightmares. Dead men don't inhale quietly and press their fingertips into the arm of the living. The dead have nothing to cling to.

Silver inhales again, unwittingly following a command James was too overwhelmed to give aloud. "Where," he says, only audible because his mouth is inches from James's ear.

"St. Augustine." His voice is barely louder than Silver's. It still feels like any moment he'll wake up to Silver's body cooling beside him. "You recall. You wanted the two of us to come here once, several lifetimes ago."

Silver closes his eyes, and somehow that's enough to convey that James misunderstood. James pauses to think. This man, who has undergone so many changes the very shape of him is fundamentally altered from what he knew himself to be, still remains at his core one who cannot breathe until he has identified at least one exit.

"I'll get it," he says, palming Silver's cheek. With a soft hum, Silver turns just a hare into his hand, giving James extra incentive not to let go, but he did make a promise. There is no telling what will happen once he has made good on his word. It would be natural to assume Silver is in no condition to run off and destroy his plans, again, but this is Silver.

He has the boot, but he almost lets go at the sound of two knocks at the door.

Thomas stands rigid in the hallway. He looks terrible, filthy hair in disarray, shirt untucked, lips and cuticles bitten from worry. James hasn't seen him worked into such a state since that first tumultuous year after the escape when they had nothing left to do but decide whether to rebuild their relationship from the ground up or accept that they had changed so much they were no longer suited for each other. It was the last time James had cause to wonder is this it, is this all we get, and he can't handle that reminder on top of everything else. "What..." He casts about for the rest of the question and settles for repeating himself. "What?"

"When your return was delayed for so long with no word, I thought I might travel to something more resembling civilization. A kind soul at the office of my friend the surgeon pointed me in this direction. She said one of you had been grievously injured, but she was quite old and she couldn't recall which." He glances down and pales almost an entire shade as he swallows. "Why- why are you holding Randall the third?"

This is the first he's learning that Silver has been naming his false leg after James's old bosun. Somehow he isn't surprised, by that or by him having told Thomas.

"Come inside," he says, with his mouth, his eyes, the fingers he winds around Thomas's wrist.

#black sails #black sails fic #silverflint #silverflinthamilton #things by beanarie #my writing

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swissmissficrecs · 6 years

Note

Hi! I really really love works like Through the Clouds and The Sea in a Chasm and Horse and Carriage where one of the boys proposes marriage or retirement together and the other struggles with what that means about their "friendship". Do you have any other fics you can rec me along that vein? I'd also love fics where Sherlock marries them without telling John!

Reply: I love these too! First of all, here are some relatedlists:

Fakerelationship

Couplestherapy

Gettingtogether late in life

And here are the ones you mentioned in case anyone else would liketo look them up:

Horse andCarriage by flawedamythyst (60K, Teen, Johnlock)Sherlockproposes. John thinks the whole idea is ludicrous.

Through theClouds by mazarin221b (20K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock takesa remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a changeof pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the SouthDowns, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quietcontemplation, bee studies, and book writing.They might go completelyinsane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’reliving to find the life you want.

The Sea in aChasm [orphaned] (17K, Teen, Johnlock and John/OFC)WhenSherlock decides to retire to Sussex, John decides to find out who heis without Sherlock.

Now I know I have read a couple of fics where Sherlock (or Mycroft) secretly procured a marriage license for them for medical or case-related purposes without John’s knowledge, but unfortunately I am not able to find them right now so if anyone else knows one please let us know! I can give you a bunch of others, though, in which thoughts of marriage lead to angst and re-examination of the relationship:

This is a very close second (and one of my all-time favorite fics)in which Sherlock pretends to be married to John without John’sknowledge:

The Good Morrowseries by greywash (213K, Explicit, Johnlock)My post-S2series where everyone has a lot of feels about everything andplausibility isstretched unto breaking. Also: fucking.

In this one, Sherlock thinks John is going to propose but hedoesn’t, leading to relationship re-evaluation:

Stood in History by philalethia (18K, Explicit, Johnlock)He discovered the ring in John’s sock drawer. It all went a bit downhill from there.

In these, one or the other of them thinks about proposing for areally long time:

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (32K, Explicit, Johnlock)And Sherlock stands there, in the middle of a Christmas market as John hums along to Silent Night, John’s hand warm in his with fingertips a little gritty from the cinnamon-sugar doused churros they’d shared, and thinks, oh, that’s–that’s an idea, isn’t it?*For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves.

The One With the Proposal by kim47 (22K, Explicit, Johnlock)Proposing shouldn’t be this difficult.Written for this prompt at the kink meme: Remember that episode of Friends where Chandler is going to propose to Monica and how he pretends that he doesn’t care about marriage so she’ll be really surprised? How about a version of it with Sherlock and John with Sherlock being the one that wants to propose but pretends that he has no desire for it?

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (17K, Explicit, Johnlock)Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn’t simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. (Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.)

In these, both of them angst a whole lot over getting married:

Sketchy Part 2 by serpentynka (158K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mycroft/OMC)What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. (A continuation of plot arcs from Part 1 of Sketchy) When the world’s only consulting detective starts dreaming of bowing out, his dearest person in the world is more than willing to go with him. It would seem that all that’s left to do is choose a date and leave London. The machinations that be are never quite what they seem.

God Help Me, I Do by PlainJane (90K, Explicit, Johnlock and Mollstrade)A consulting detective, two doctors, a forensic pathologist, a DI, a senior citizen, a recovering alcoholic and the British government walk into a register office…John and Sherlock have resolved to be together as much more than just colleagues or friends, but how will their relationship change between the proposal and the wedding? Follow along as they learn about themselves and about each other. How will they share their news with those closest to them? How will John adjust to the reality of being in a relationship with a man instead of a woman? How will they both find time and space for personal and professional lives? And how will Sherlock cope with the intensity of true love? Cases, chuckles, angst and lots of good loving on the journey to one very unconventional wedding day.

Set in Stone by SilentAuror (39K, Explicit, Johnlock)Sherlock and John are back from Ravine Valley and planning their wedding. However, as they move past the trial of the human traffickers, Sherlock can't help but wonder if he's imagining that John is becoming a little distant. Surely he isn't getting cold feet about the wedding...

This has a similar premise to Horse and Carriage:

The Important Bit by Solshine (10K, G, Johnlock)Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

And finally these in which they get engaged/married for a case(with John’s knowledge) and it becomes serious:

Thanks to the Barbarians by queen_jadis (10K, Explicit, Johnlock)John and Sherlock get married for a case, which both of them find hilarious - until they realise that they can’t get a divorce. The offensive piece of paper has more effect on their relationship than John thinks it has any right to do.

A Case of Identity by jkay1980 (91K, Teen, Johnlock)John and Sherlock have succeeded in rebuilding their friendship after Sherlock’s fake suicide, but an unusual case puts their relationship to the test. They pretend to be engaged and attend a marriage counseling workshop. Under the pretext of the case, Sherlock turns out to be a master of seduction, and John finally learns he might like Sherlock more than he thought. Slowly, John discovers that he loves Sherlock not only in a friendly, brotherly way, but both men have to fight their own demons before they can think of taking their relationship to a new level…

Till Death Do Us Part by prettysailorsoldier (15K, Mature, Johnlock)When Sherlock links a recent spree of murder-suicides to a psychologist who specializes in marriage counseling, there’s really only one thing to do: Go undercover as a couple in hopes of drawing the killer out. Faking a relationship seems easy enough, but things take a turn when their real issues start to creep into the sessions, and, all the while, a killer is watching, waiting in the shadows for their chance to strike.

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder by distantstarlight (96K, Explicit, Johnlock)For his entire life Sherlock Holmes has had complete mastery over his transport. He drives it harder than he should, is careless with it, and makes it bend to his will. His transport has always done it’s duty but lately Sherlock’s transport has been making some demands.

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (16K, NC-17, Johnlock)John, we need to get married.

Mountebank by Odamaki (26K, Mature, Johnlock)“I am calm,” John snaps, leaning on the door to glare out at the dark streets around them. Sherlock’s not said where they’re going; all he knows is they came off the ring road to the west of London and have vanished somewhere into the depths of Berkshire. All he knows is that he’s been trussed up in a suit that wasn’t hired from anywhere and if brought new would edge up into the triple figure margins. “Be calmer,” Sherlock advises, with a trace of irony. “We’re going to a party.”

The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (9K, Explicit, Johnlock)What it says on the tin: John and Sherlock pretend to be married in order to be contestants in a Newlywed Game.Of course it’s for a case.Of course it doesn’t stay that way.

The Pretence of an Unacknowledged Truth by stickleworting (28K, Explicit, Johnlock) He’s decided to just be himself, cliché as it sounds. The lie about being Sherlock’s mate will be difficult enough to keep up, he’s not going to think up more of a charade regarding himself on top of that. If he uses the wrong fork at dinner, fine. If someone calls him on it, he’ll just stab them with it. Job done.First attempt at Omegaverse because a very good friend of mine likes it, and I like my friend. She asked for: alpha!John/omega!Sherlock; age difference; pretend bondmates to meet Sherlock’s family; synthesised bond scent; and bonding in Sherlock’s old bedroom. I think I’m managing to cram it all in for you, sweetpea ;) No mpreg, I’m afraid. That was a stretch too far.

#rec list #request

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romancatholicreflections · 6 years

Photo

20th August >> Fr. Martin’s Gospel Reflections / Homilies on Matthew 19:16-22 for Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time: ‘He went away sad’. Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time Gospel (Europe, Africa, New Zealand, Australia & Canada) Matthew 19:16-22 If you wish to be perfect, go and sell what you own There was a man who came to Jesus and asked, ‘Master, what good deed must I do to possess eternal life?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you ask me about what is good? There is one alone who is good. But if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.’ He said, ‘Which?’ ‘These:’ Jesus replied ‘You must not kill. You must not commit adultery. You must not bring false witness. Honour your father and mother, and: you must love your neighbour as yourself.’ The young man said to him, ‘I have kept all these. What more do I need to do?’ Jesus said, ‘If you wish to be perfect, go and sell what you own and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.’ But when the young man heard these words he went away sad, for he was a man of great wealth. Gospel (USA) Matthew 19:16-22 If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and you will have treasure in heaven. A young man approached Jesus and said, “Teacher, what good must I do to gain eternal life?” He answered him, “Why do you ask me about the good? There is only One who is good. If you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.” He asked him, “Which ones?” And Jesus replied, “You shall not kill; you shall not commit adultery; you shall not steal; you shall not bear false witness; honor your father and your mother; and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to him, “All of these I have observed. What do I still lack?” Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” When the young man heard this statement, he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Reflections (6) (i) Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time Many of the questions that are put to Jesus in the gospels are with a view to testing him. However, the question which a young man puts to Jesus in today’s gospel reading is very sincere, ‘Master what good deed must I do to possess eternal life?’ It is the question of someone who wants to do what is good, the right thing, and, thereby, secure his ultimate salvation. The question, ‘What is the path to life?’ is an important question for all of us. Jesus answers this man’s serious question from within the Jewish tradition that they share; he quotes the second half of the ten commandments which deal with how we relate to others, and he then adds to them the second of the two great commandments, ‘you must love your neighbour as yourself’. Jesus is saying to this man that the way to life is the way of love. For us as Christians, it is Jesus who shows us what the way of love looks life by his teaching and his life. When we ask a serious question of someone, the answer will not always satisfy us. Clearly, this young man was not satisfied by Jesus’ answer. ‘What more do I need to do?’, he asked. In response to this second question, Jesus calls this young man to follow him on his journey, just as Peter, James, John, Matthew and others have done. This would have involved for this young man leaving his many possessions so as to follow physically in the footsteps of someone who had nowhere to lay his head. He couldn’t bring himself to do that; he was too attached to his possession. His possessions possessed him. The realization that he wasn’t free to answer the call of Jesus left him sad. He was a good man, but he discovered he wasn’t free to do what the Lord wanted of him. Many of us may find ourselves in that same place. We are fundamentally good people, but some excessive attachment in our lives holds us back from answering the Lord’s call as generously as we might. Before that realization, we need to keep praying for a greater share in the freedom of the Holy Spirit, the freedom that Jesus displayed to the full, the freedom to go where the Lord is calling us to go. And/Or (ii) Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time There is something appealing about the young man in today’s gospel reading. He was an earnest young man who was serious about finding the path that led to eternal life. His question is a serious question, ‘What good deed must I do to possess eternal life?’ In his reply Jesus named a number of commandments, all of which have to do with how we are to relate to other people. Jesus indicates that the way to life for ourselves entails relating in a life-giving way to others. This young man was not satisfied with Jesus’ answer because he felt he was already doing what Jesus was asking for, and, yet, he knew there was more he could be doing. When Jesus revealed what this ‘more’ would involve for this particular young man, it again had to do with his relationship to others, in particular the poor, the needy; Jesus called on him to sell what he had and give the money to the poor. This was a step too far for him. Jesus did not make this particular demand of everybody he encountered. Yet, for all of us, the path to life, the path of life, will always be the path of love, of loving relationships with others. By his teaching, by his life and his death, Jesus shows us what relating in a loving way to others looks like. And/Or (iii) Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time The young man who approaches Jesus in the gospel reading this morning is a very religious man. He had kept all the commandments of the Jewish Law since his youth. Yet, his spiritual yearning was not satisfied. He almost put it up to Jesus to give him a bigger challenge. However, when Jesus did make a call on him, the young man couldn’t respond to it. In one of the most poignant verses of the gospel we are told, ‘he went away sad, for he was a man of great wealth’. There was something he needed to let go of to take the path that would have brought him true joy, but because he couldn’t let go, he experienced sadness. Sometimes there can be a relationship between the sadness we might feel and our inability to let go of whatever it is we aretenaciously holding on to. The young man held on to his possessions because, at some level, he must have felt they would bring him happiness and life. We can hold on to people, to circumstances, to whatever, in the conviction that therein lies our happiness, our security. In reality, our true happiness and peace lies in letting go of whatever it is that is holding us back from responding to the call that the Lord is making on us in the here and now. And/Or (iv) Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time The young man in this morning’s gospel reading is clearly a very well intentioned person and also a very good living person. He has been faithful to the commandments that Jesus cites. Yet, he senses that is being called to something more, and, so he probes Jesus with his question, ‘What more do I need to do?’ For all that, when it comes to the personal call that Jesus addressed to him, he could not answer it. For this particular young man, the call to follow Jesus required him to let go of his great wealth. Jesus was asking him to put his trust in God rather than in his great wealth. He could not bring himself to do this, and, so, he went away sad. He could not live with the answer to his own question and, as a result, he remained deeply dissatisfied. Jesus addresses a personal call to each one of us; it will take a different form for each of us and will have different implications for each of us. However, whatever form Jesus’ call takes for us, it will always involve the call to find our security in God as Jesus reveals him to us, rather than in anything we possess or achieve. Our ultimate treasure is to be found in heaven, not on earth. As Jesus says elsewhere, it is God we are to love with all our heart, mind, soul and strength. Only then will we have the freedom to hold everything else lightly. And/Or (v) Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time In the gospel reading this morning we have the story of a good man who wanted to be better. He had kept all the commandments of the Jewish Law faithfully, but he had a sense that this was not enough. He felt called to something more, and, so, he said to Jesus, ‘What more do I need to do?’ We might find ourselves being able to identify with this man. There are times in our lives when we too might experience in ourselves a strong desire to go beyond where we are, to grow in our relationship with the Lord, to be more generous in the doing of his work. In one shape or form we find ourselves asking ourselves this man’s question, ‘What more do I need to do?’ In the gospel reading, this man could not live with the answer that Jesus gave to his question. Jesus asked this particular man to do something he didn’t ask everybody to do. He was to sell his possession, give his money to the poor and then to set out along the road after Jesus, as Peter, Andrew, James, John and others had done. One of the saddest verses in the gospels comes at the end of our reading, ‘when the young man heard these words he went away sad’. If we ask the Lord the young man’s question we cannot anticipate how the Lord will answer us. Yet, the Lord has some purpose for our lives which will always take us beyond where we are in some sense. We find our happiness in yielding to the Lord’s purpose for our lives. If we do so, we can be assured that he will give us all the grace and strength we need for the journey. And/Or (vi) Monday, Twentieth Week in Ordinary Time Many young people are receiving their exam results at this time. They are thinking about the options that are open to them on the basis of those results. ‘What college should I go to?’ ‘What course should I do?’ It is a time of searching and seeking for them. No doubt many of them will look for guidance and advice so as to make the best decision possible. Today’s gospel reading puts before us a young man who is clearly a seeker and a searcher. Indeed, he is struggling with one of the bigger questions of life, ‘What good deed must I do to possess eternal life?’ Questions don’t come much bigger than that. He is asking ‘What does it mean to live a good life?’ ‘What is the path to true and lasting happiness?’ Human beings have always asked this fundamental question. We have probably all asked it of ourselves at some time in our lives. In response to his question, Jesus directs him to his own Jewish tradition, the commandments of the Jewish Law. It is always worth exploring our own religious tradition; there can be a great deal more there than we realize. Yet, this young man knows his religious tradition well, and he is still searching. ‘What more do I need to do?’ Finally, Jesus points to himself as the goal of the young man’s search, ‘Come, follow me’. This was a bridge too far for the young man; it would have involved letting go of his many possessions, which he couldn’t do. His journey to Jesus ends in sadness; the happiness, the life, he searched for eluded him. Jesus offers himself to all of us as the goal of all our searching, as the answer to our deepest questions. He assures us that in following him, in walking in his way, we will find genuine life, true happiness. Fr. Martin Hogan, Saint John the Baptist Parish, Clontarf, Dublin, D03 AO62, Ireland. Email: [email protected] or [email protected] Parish Website: www.stjohnsclontarf.ie Please join us via our webcam. Twitter: @SJtBClontarfRC. Facebook: St John the Baptist RC Parish, Clontarf. Tumblr: Saint John the Baptist Parish, Clontarf, Dublin.

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jdgo51 · 2 years

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Wild About You: Wounds

Today's inspiration comes from:

Wild About You: A 60-Day Devotional for Couples

by John Eldredge

About HER

"Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. "— Psalm 25:16

"'To do any sort of justice to a book for women would require me (John) to go deeper, listen even more carefully, study, delve into the mystery (okay, mess) of a woman’s soul. Part of me didn’t want to go there. Pull back. Withdraw. I was keenly aware of this going on inside me, and I felt like a jerk. But I also knew enough about myself and about the battle for a woman’s heart that I needed to explore this ambivalence.

What is this thing in me — and in most men — that doesn’t want to go deep into a woman’s world?

“You are too much. It’s too much work. Men are simpler. Easier.” And isn’t that the message you’ve lived with all your life as a woman? “You’re too much, and not enough. You’re just not worth the effort.” Now, part of a man’s fundamental reluctance to truly dive into the world of a woman comes from a man’s deepest fear: failure. He fears that having delved into his woman’s world, he won’t have what it takes to help her there. That is his sin. That is his cowardice. And because of her shame, most of the time a man gets away with it.

Most marriages reach this sort of unspoken settlement. “I’m not coming any closer. This is as far as I’m willing to go. But I won’t leave, and that ought to make you happy.” And so there is this sort of détente, a cordial agreement to live only so close. The effect is that most women feel alone.

Lord Jesus, you know the ways in which I feel alone. Give my husband courage to come near, even as I draw near to you.

God is fiercely committed to you, to the restoration and release of your masculine heart. But a wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal.

About HIM

For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. — Psalm 109:22

For most of us, our wounds are an immense source of shame.

A man’s not supposed to get hurt; he’s certainly not supposed to let it really matter. And so most men minimize their wounds. King David (a guy who was hardly a pushover) didn’t act like that at all. “I am poor and needy,” he confessed openly, “and my heart is wounded within me” (Psalm 109:22). Or perhaps men will admit it happened, but deny it was a wound because they deserved it.

After many months of counseling, I asked Dave a simple question: “What would it take to convince you that you are a man?” “Nothing,” he said. “Nothing can convince me.” We sat in silence as tears ran down my cheeks. He had embraced the wound and owned its message as final. There was no sign of emotion at all. I went home and wept — for Dave, and for so many other men I know, and for myself because I realized that I, too, had embraced my wound.

The only thing more tragic than the tragedy that happens to us is the way we handle it.

God is fiercely committed to you, to the restoration and release of your masculine heart. But a wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you’ve embraced is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you think you deserved is a wound that cannot heal.

God, give me the courage to acknowledge my wound so that I might heal. I trust you to restore me and release my masculine heart."'

Excerpted with permission from Wild About You by John & Stasi Eldredge, copyright John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge.

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fugandhi · 6 years

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Roseanne: A Swan Song

Roseanne had recently made an inappropriate twitter (according to somewhere online; you can look it up) remark and then deleted it, and it was a pretty awful remark from what Kim told me.

So, I love “Roseanne.” That show is my favorite television show, and has been ever since I was a young boy. I remember growing up even thinking, “Man, that kid DJ looks SO MUCH LIKE ME” with the bowl cut and everything (yeah I have humble beginnings because I’m an average person).

I don’t know why Roseanne said what she said, but I know it’s wrong to make pretty damn offensive remarks about someone based off of their appearance - Especially if it is something that has to do with their race, gender, religion, nationality, etc. I mean - that’s like totally common knowledge by now I would certainly hope.

I was not surprised when I found out that her show got cancelled. It is absolutely heart-breaking. The best American TV Family (next to The Taylors of course; Home Improvement is my Other favorite TV show; Al & Wilson are my favorites, rest in peace to Earl Hindman) is at the mercy of the American public due to Roseanne Barr’s very stupid remarks. She apologized afterwards, and of course she deleted the tweet - but we all know the damage has been done.

So - I feel kinda silly because the correlation between The Conners and the show “Roseanne” and then the actress Roseanne Barr are so closely relatable (just as my household felt growing up; even though my family is not exactly like theirs, but the growing pains were in my humble opinion) that it can be very difficult to discern where reality and fantasy are divided.

I know Roseanne is a good person. Recently in my life, prior to the Season 10 comeback from the gang - Kim & I actually bought the entire 9 season box set from like walmart or something….nothing fancy.. Needless to say - We still watch the show on our own to this day with joy and genuine happiness.

Some of the most important life lessons I’ve had to learn that helped shape me as a human being - from being a child to a man - I was able to find in this show. I have a simple family - we are all hard workers and we don’t ask for much other than a God’s honest fair opportunity just like any American, heck, any human household.

It breaks my heart knowing that Roseanne has to not only go through the Hawaii circumstance which is very, very heart-breaking in it’s own right, but then also Roseanne now faces public scrutiny for thoughtless remarks due to whatever was going on with her at the time… I don’t have any relevant context so I cannot determine why she said what she said - all I know is - she removed it, she realized she was wrong, and she apologized, and her show got cancelled and now every single person that was genuinely happy and legitimately putting their best effort forth now has to suffer under a guilty-by-association almost like a punishment they didn’t collectively deserve.

So, with all that said - I have to be transparent about my ignorance. I do not know who Roseanne was talking about - I do not watch cable tv, I do not overwhelm my heart and mind and soul with the herculean amount of bad news and bad stories that are just…. almost robotically informed to the public. Like…do news anchors stop and just friggin have mental breakdowns due to the overwhelming amount of just nonstop negative stories that they have to constantly share?..I mean dang. Anyway, back to my point..

I don’t know who she was talking about, but I will tell you I saw the photo of the lady and I didn’t even think the joke was funny (it’s just downright mean, Roseanne). I know that Roseanne, and a lot of people, may have animosity or a lot to say towards like different people, or just anyone who may have a different belief or like different point-of-view (or I guess different way-of-life), but yeah, it’s completely wrong to just start making fun of someone’s appearance over whatever personal prejudice or personal bigotry or anti-whatever - it’s just like this: Be Good & Be Nice. It kinda goes back to the fundamentals of the household - If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say it at all - I guess this is a lesson for all of us to keep in mind. Roseanne Barr is a household-name, she is very well-known, her fame is never going away, even with this stupid thing that happened (Anyone remember that whole Baseball/National Anthem uproar?) - Roseanne has been through a lot and a person of her intelligence and strength (especially Spiritually - She believes in God and she’s like very prominent about her religious beliefs) so she will continue to create important messages in her lifetime.

As far as the negative impact her words created - she has to heal the wounds. Either way it’s none of my business - I actually just watched the last 3 episodes of season 10, Kim and I had forgotten about them due to life happening.

So - after finding out about the upsetting remarks, and then that the show was cancelled very quickly afterwards (duh) - I watched the last three episodes of season 10 - and I still enjoyed the story. The very last episode, I believe, was a perfect ending for The Conners’ story. Roseanne’s Masterpiece is Complete.

The last episode was so profoundly meaningful, for myself as a viewer, let alone watching it with Kim (who of course was crying because it’s our favorite show). The funny thing is, I thought the last episode was completely fitting despite the fact that it was not planned to be the last episode.

The original last episode, back in season 9, was very heart-wrenching - especially with the fictitious death of Dan Conner - who is like the quintessential All-American Male (OH YEAH! John Goodman you are a blessing - God Bless you, Sir!) and that left a very powerful impact for me as someone who truly admired the show from beginning to end. You know, my favorite seasons are still like Season 1 & 2. I feel the same way about Home Improvement - which I still believe to this day deserves a full-fledged comeback season too - I mean yeah - it could happen. Anyway back to Roseanne - this show was very special in it’s initial stages. The Conners are not only a reflection of the average American Family, but they are a reflection of how American folk actually behave in a general sense - very hard-working, very smart, very big hearts, and very big dreams.

The struggle for the common family is the main concept of Roseanne, and yes it’s from her own unique perspective, but she had come out with full force in honor of Mothers and Wives across the land. It was a BEAUTY. It still is. Those seasons are still true - although it’s all a fantasy - there’s real pain and sorrow and real joy and bliss throughout these episodes.

The Conners represent American Values and the growing pains of us all who have had to work and earn our keep and also open our narrow points of view to concepts outside of our comfort zones (without having to compromise our free-will or beliefs). The show is very much like a photo album, or an energetic snapshot of how each of our respective homes have been - maybe that’s why the show clicks so easily for an average person who doesn’t come from like riches and wealth - and even then - I’m sure an obvious socialite could still at least identify with the personal growth and struggles of at least one of the characters. Whether it’s Bev being chastised by Jackie and Rosie for being too much of a judgmental hoity-toity kinda basket case (with the sweetest intentions) - or if it’s Dan throwin’ a hammer through dry-wall due to coming to terms with his own mortality as a man.

This show is powerful. The performances are spot-on. The quality is there. If this show wasn’t so damn lovable then why would people not cry over these stories and these genuinely damn fine acting performances (from everyone, even down to simple featured extras). There’s a lot of talent that was either on the show or in the behind-the-scenes - that have all gone on to work on other successful projects. Roseanne has so much sway. She carries so much influence because people believe in her. I still believe in her. I don’t believe she would go out of her way to try to hurt others - Granted - I did recall watching a video online of Tom Arnold saying “You know, Roseanne the person and the character are 2 different people - She and ABC should apologize to the American Public” - and I saw that back when it was like her 3rd or 5th episode into the last season (so maybe this is karmic debt for Roseanne? God only knows dude).

Either way - the show is still amazing and you can’t take away the incredible accomplishments & achievements of everyone involved (even people who just don’t care about it anymore - which is cool too - because at the end of the day it is purely entertainment).

It’s astonishing to witness such a social outburst from American citizens - I’m like - dude there are worse things that come out of her mouth on her friggin tv show that people seem to just laugh and forgive instantly (for the sake of their own entertainment)…however funny - sometimes ya gotta make the choice between good and bad taste. I don’t agree with what she said. I think she mouthed-off and obviously displayed her own ignorance & obnoxiousness simultaneously and then thought about it afterwards. I forgive her.

I think it’s important to display a certain sense of forgiveness and mercy - obviously she already had her show pulled from her - but she is human. She’s not perfect by any means, neither am I, and I would never choose to play Devil’s advocate, I would only want to help sustain the legacy of not only her but of John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Alicia Goranson, Sara Gilbert, Michael Fishman, Natalie West, Sarah Chalke, Glenn Quinn, Johnny Galecki, Estelle Parsons, Martin Mull, Michael O’Keefe, and the list goes on… There’s a lot of people who still believe in the values of what this TV Family symbolize & represent as the common family.

ABC was never the right place for Roseanne. Netflix would be so much more suitable - especially with the recent FOX buy-out situation that prompted Matt Groening of The Simpsons and Futurama to leave (uh yeah, Disney is trying to monopolize which is lame). I think whether or not Roseanne continues (with or without ABC) - the legacy remains strong.

To conclude, It kinda surprises me that people hold Entertainers & Comedians & Musicians to a higher level of consequences (especially in a sociological standpoint) in comparison to other aspects of society. It’s like… to me… it just seems odd that Entertainers are treated like Political Leaders, and Political Leaders are treated like Entertainers. Isn’t that Odd to anyone else? Either way, I digress. God Bless the efforts of every person, especially Sara Gilbert, who really seemed to genuinely put their hearts, souls, minds, and their Faith into their work in telling the story of the contemporary family in American society. I thank all of those people from the bottom of my heart. All good things must come to an end I suppose. In the end - no one is Perfect. I’m not. You’re not. Roseanne definitely is not (lol), but you show me someone who is perfect (other than God) and I will call them a liar. We’re all in this together people. Stay Strong.

-ATOMIK 1

“Those who dream by night, in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible.”

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lawrenceop · 4 years

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HOMILY for Pentecost Sunday (EF)

Acts 2:1-11; John 14:23-31

“Without your Spirit, there is nothing in man, nothing that is not harmful.” These words from the beautiful Pentecost Sequence hymn, Veni Sancte Spiritus, recited before the Gospel today remind us that without God we can do nothing good, and even the good we start to do can become harmful if it’s not sustained by the grace of God. So, the absence of good, of light, of peace shows us that our actions have turned from God, that even what began well can be corrupted by our inclination to sin, and so, end badly.

The chaos flaring up in various parts of the world, seemingly initiated by a desire for justice, which is a good thing, can, as we have seen day after day, go badly astray because we cannot be sustained in the good without the Spirit of God. Humble prayer, therefore, is the foundation of all good, but we have become activists who often react without thinking let alone praying. But it is a diabolical lie to think that we can restore the good, or build a just society, or create a civilisation of love simply by our political will, or merely through outraged tweeting, or just by sharing memes and videos on our social media accounts. These often create much heat but shed very little light if any at all. If we desire to right the wrong, to overwhelm the evil with good, and restore justice, then we must first return to God. As the Sequence of Pentecost says: “Come, father of the poor, come, giver of gifts, come, light of the heart.”

But do we know our fundamental poverty of spirit? Do we desire the gifts of the Holy Spirit? Do we seek the light of God? This year, with the whole world still suffering the effects of a pandemic – even if the crowds on the beaches, parks, and streets might behave with wishful thinking as if the virus has just dissipated with the summer heat – and now, moreover, with the spread of violence, rioting, desecrations of churches, looting, destruction of property, and hatred, these are signs and reminders that both the natural order and our human nature, disfigured by sin, are in clear need of God. We need the Holy Spirit to free us from the prince of this world, that is, the devil, who through sin and lies and false promises leads us as individuals and as a society only towards division, destruction, death, and hell.

Pray with me, then, these words from the Sequence of Pentecost: “Come, Holy Spirit, send forth the heavenly radiance of your light… O most blessed light, fill the inmost heart of your faithful… In labour, rest, in heat, temperance, in tears, solace… Cleanse that which is unclean, water that which is dry, heal that which is wounded. Bend that which is inflexible, fire up that which is chilled, correct what goes astray.”

As fires from riots and violent protests flare up in different parts of the world, and as the fire of anger and hatred flares up in numerous hearts, we behold today a different kind of fire. The Holy Spirit who descends on the apostles on Pentecost Sunday is seen as a visible light, as tongues of flame, but this divine fire, alights on their head without burning. Like the fire of the burning bush beheld by Moses, which shed a radiant brilliance without consuming it, so the Holy Spirit sheds light without destructive heat.

Such is the light of grace, which enlightens the darkness of the human mind. Original sin has darkened the intellect, leaving Man to fumble his way forward in the dark, his reasoning hindered by emotion, passions, and sinful desires. So, the Spirit of God comes, we pray, with the light of truth to guide our reasoning minds. The Spirit of God comes to “correct what goes astray”, he comes to heal our wills, our appetites, our desires. This is the light, the divine fire of Love, which burns without destroying. Rather, it purifies, it refines, it transforms. For our human nature, healed of the wounds of sin by the Holy Spirit, is then elevated by grace so that we now reflect the glory of God, we become divinised by grace, we now shine with God’s love.

The love of God, as St Paul reminds us, is “patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.” (1 Cor 13:4-6) Therefore, it is not love if we seek to avenge a wrong by doing still more wrong, by speaking without charity nor kindness nor even courtesy, no matter how right one’s cause might be. Instead, this kind of fire and passion, burning hot and fast, will consume us and we will be burnt out. The fire of divine love, as we see in the Scriptures, is a slow burn but it thus transforms and improves, softens and changes things - anyone who has cooked will understand this. Hence the flames that burn above the apostles’ heads do not catch fire to their hair, but instead, God’s Spirit illumines their minds; he gives them knowledge of things human and divine; and he gives them gifts. Thus they miraculously speak languages they had not learnt; they preach the divine truths of salvation with boldness; and they become witnesses of the Resurrection and the freedom given to us by Christ. Their lives, therefore, are utterly changed, and they see things from God’s perspective. Hence the Sequence of Pentecost prays: “Give to your faithful, those who trust in you, the sevenfold gifts. Grant the reward of virtue, grant the deliverance of salvation, grant eternal joy.”

Pentecost is, as the name suggests, the fiftieth day after Easter. And this number, 50, is Biblically significant. In the book of Leviticus the fiftieth year was a jubilee year, a time of rest, of relief from debt and hard labour, a sign of God’s forgiveness and redemption. Pentecost points to the jubilee, therefore, and it is significant that on the fiftieth day after Easter comes the public proclamation of deliverance from the bondage of sin and vice and even death. The Spirit of God, his merciful love, comes to free us from the debt of sin. God comes to free us from slavery to our limited human ideas, and our wild emotions and unbridled passions. The Spirit of God is present to forgive us, and to redeem us, and to sanctify us. Thus, the Holy Spirit is, as we said in the Sequence hymn, our “greatest comforter, [the] sweet guest of the soul, [and] sweet consolation.”

In the midst of a land, and even among Church communities, who seem lost in chaos and darkness and turmoil, the Holy Spirit comes to us today. And he comes not only as a gentle brilliant flame but also as a powerful rushing wind. For there is much debris and detritus from our old sinful lives that needs to be cleared out; the dust and nonsense fills the air and keeps us from seeing the Truth clearly. So the psalmist says: “Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered; let those who hate him flee before him! As smoke is driven away, so drive them away; as wax melts before fire, let the wicked perish before God!” (Ps 68:1-2) Yes, let the Holy Spirit come and drive away the enemies of God, all that opposes the good and the true; all those infernal beings who would deceive and lead astray. We human beings have been called to friendship with God, and the Holy Spirit is the Advocate and Guide who comes to make us friends of God. Therefore, he comes first to drive away the Enemy who stirs up rebellion and prideful disobedience; who corrupts the good we begin; and who whispers suspicion and conspiracy in our ears. Thus the 9th-century hymn to the Holy Spirit, Veni Creator Spiritus, prays: “Drive far away our wily Foe, and Thine abiding peace bestow; if Thou be our protecting Guide, no evil can our steps betide.” The Holy Spirit, therefore, comes to bring peace to the soul, peace to the community, peace to the world, for he restores sinners to true justice that comes only from God. Thus Jesus says in the Gospel today: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (Jn 14:27)

The frustrations of our time: frustration with politicians and their works; frustration with the Media and corporations who control our knowledge and information; frustration with our fellow men and with our leadership – even within the Church, sadly – these frustrations will overheat and boil over because there is much heat and little light in these situations. It is evident that we, today, are in dire need of the Holy Spirit, and, in our anger and quarrels, our communities are disintegrating into nothingness. For “without your Spirit, there is nothing in man, nothing that is not harmful.”

What, then, are we to do? Where does the Holy Spirit lead us? Jesus says the Spirit will “teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” (Jn 14:26) Therefore, the Holy Spirit leads us, first of all, into prayer. Pray, read the Scriptures prayerfully, and pray again. The apostles had been gathered with Mary in prayer before the Holy Spirit came to illumine their minds and their hearts. And this is what our world, our Church, and each of us need every day: prayer. Only then, with persistent prayer that is insistent on God and on his love, shall we find light, joy, and peace.

If I may make a suggestion: pray the Rosary daily for peace. These were the words of Our Lady of the Rosary at Fatima. She, our Mother, and the humble Spouse of the Holy Spirit, promises us peace if we pray the Rosary. Start now: join us today at 5pm after this Mass. I will end this Livestream, and start a new one, Live on this Facebook page, at 5pm.

#Holy Spirit #peace #prayer #riots #chaos #sin #grace #salvation #light

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bakubros · 6 years

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Tagged by @artsytodoroki, @minaaashido, @pilotpig! This was so much fun to fill out, guys! Thanks for tagging me. 💞

Rules: Answer 11 questions, Create 11 of your own, and Tag 11 people!

I’ll tag: @pinkcupofcherrytea, @dekudorks, @lupizora, @enonmia, @shulksfeels, @mysonisthesun, @a-erith, anddddd.... just about anyone else who’s interested in doing this c; (i’m a lazy tagger, rip.) amy, shy, piggie, i’d love to see your answers as well if you have some free time!

(questions are at the veryyyyyy bottom of this read more, lol)

Amy’s Questions:

If you were a character in the BNHA universe, what quirk would you want to have? *nervous sweating* I actually have a really detailed OC I made for Hero Aca and now that I have the opportunity to show her off to the world, I’m getting nervous? LOL. I’ll just say that the quirk’s name is tentatively “flying fish” and then leave it at that for now... Until I find the courage to brag about it in depth... (I am actually in love with the idea and character I came up with, I’m just ??? Suddenly nervous for no reason?? LMAO)

Do you know your MBTI? If you do, what is it? INFP!

Are you somebody who thinks before you act or do you act before you think? It honestly depends on the context of the situation. When I’m with friends or people I’m comfortable with or when I’m tired, I act before I think. When I’m skeptical of others or anxious about how I’m being perceived, I think before I act.

What’s your current obsession? Mmm, tough! I’ve been really into watching movies recently, particularly the Oscar-nominated films. I’m sad because I side with the New Academy on a lot of their picks but know that the Old Academy still dominates so rip ;;;

If you ever wanted to change your name, what would it be? I used to hate my name and thought about changing it to “Willow Kathryn” instead of “Jessica Kathryn.” I don’t know what I was thinking when I was younger; I just know that, now that I’m older, I would never go through with such a change. LMAO

Least and favorite subjects in school? Favorite was literature, least favorite was (and will always be) math.

Describe yourself in one or two words. Passionate, Empathetic

How tall are you? 157 cm (though I like to think I’ve grown a bit ;;;;)

Do you have a phobia? I don’t think that any of my fears are strong enough to constitute a phobia? Though I will admit to an awful abhorrence of bugs.

Would you prefer to go where there’s less people or more people? I’m assuming you mean live? And if that’s the case, then less people. If it’s late at night or something though (like now!), I prefer to be around more people.

Do you believe that the world is divided into good and bad people or is everybody the same? if so, why? To assume that the world is Manichean feels like an antiquated, small-minded notion; to assume that everyone in the world is the same feels ignorant and dehumanizing. I believe that all “divisions” within our culture (I’m throwing morality into this category for the purpose of this question) are man-made constructs--in that sense, there’s no right or wrong answer. In my case, it’s just fundamental disagreement with the notion, lol. On the question of morality, however, I will say that I believe that all individuals exist on a spectrum and cannot be definitively good nor definitively bad; to label someone in a single category like that limits future perception of them and implies an inability for human change/growth.

Shy’s Questions:

[pre-school teacher voice] What do you want to be when you grow up? I wanted to be a teacher, and then a pediatrician, and then a writer, and then a professor. And now I’m back to teacher. We’ve come full circle. LOL.

What did you do today? GOT SOME OF MY SHIT TOGETHER!! Double-checked my degree audit with my advisers, met with the dean of my college to ensure that I’m on-track to meet the criteria for graduating summa cum laude with the dean’s medal in December, and discussed scholarship funding with some of my current sponsors. I thought that I was going to owe my school money after the summer, but it’s looking like they’re going to be paying me instead. 😎

What’s the last really good fanfic or meta you’ve read? I’ve... honestly been slacking really hard in the reading department for the fandom. I’ve been reading a lot of wips recently (which obviously haven’t been posted), but the last one that comes to mind is cherry chapstick on the tip of your tongue by oliviyay on ao3!

Do you prefer saying “y’all” or “you guys?” You guys!

What is the last thing you watched? A video of Die Mannschaft’s coach talking about how proud he is of His Boys™️.

How are you feeling? I just really want the semester to be over because I’m tired of the workload? But at the same time I’m really antsy about that because it means graduation is just that much closer?? And idk if I’m fully ready for that?? Like, I know that I am but like... I still don’t feel like an adult lekrjwlekrri

Favorite sitcom? Parks and Recreation, hands down. I binged the entire series when I was going through a bad breakup, and whenever I can’t sleep or need a pick-me-up, the show always has my back. I’m p sure that if Netflix ever removes it I will die.

Anime or manga or neither? I’ve always been partial to manga!

Favorite kind of smoothie? The Beach Bum at the Tropical Smoothie Cafe! I like it because I’m a sucker for chocolate, but the ingredients in the smoothie still make me feel like I’m healthy.

Got any allergies? I’m mildly allergic to dust and pollen. For some reason I’m severely allergic to a certain species of grass. (And, because I have the best of luck, it’s the species of grass that is native to Florida. It’s everywhere I go and I just want to be able to sit in the park without breaking out into hives. ;;;)

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever purchased? I just recently paid $800+ for VIP tickets for my parents and I to go see Elton John in concert. But, like, I know it’ll be worth it so I’m not even mad LMFAO

Piggie’s Questions:

What is your favorite soap scent? Ooooh, this is a really tough one! I can’t think of anything specific, but I’m a fan of scents with floral undertones!

What is the talent of yours that you are most proud of? Please go on and on and on about it!! (and don’t say you have no talents because I know all of you well enough to know that’s not true >:’D) Mmmmm, this is tough! This is more of a personality trait, I suppose, but I’m really stubborn when it comes to getting what I want; if I have a goal in mind, I do absolutely everything that I can to achieve it. So far, this has worked out really for me, which is why I’m considering it a talent? I’m sure that a lot of it is just good luck though. LMAO. I think that I also have really good memory! I remember seemingly insignificant details really well, which makes for fun writing. c:

What is your favorite book and why? Or TV show/anime/movie if you don’t like books? The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien--this book is honestly what inspired me to become a writer and holds a very special place in my heart. Second favorite would be The Mill on the Floss by George, and every time I’m reminded that it’s considered one of the worst books in classic lit I cry a little harder.

Which fictional character do you relate to the most? (And why, if you want?) Bakugou Katsuki, in terms of backstory (being praised when young and letting it go to my head), passion/ambition, and tendency for cursing. I’ve never been outspoken or antagonistic though, so that’s where our biggest difference is, lol. (He is still my Child though and I Would still die for him)

Do you have any collections? If so, what do you collect? Books and video games, I suppose! Though right now I’m also starting a magazine habit that I know I’ll regret in the future...

What are your top three best personality traits, and what is one thing about your personality that you want to work on? In no particular order: passion, empathy, and friendliness. I’d like to be more consistent outgoing when it comes to meeting new people and making new friends. I’ve been given many opportunities to form bonds with really awesome people, but I always get shy/awkward or just fudge it up. I’d really like to change that, haha.

Do you have any pets? If so, what is/are their personality/personalities like? I have a dog named Snowie! When she was younger, she was super rambunctious and liked playing in the dirt--wasn’t much of a cuddler. Now that she’s older, she’s a lot calmer. And she really likes cuddling which I really appreciate.

What is your preferred study method? Depends on what I’m doing specifically! If I’m reading lit or crit theory, I need an empty room, some good music, and soft lighting. If I’m preparing for a test or writing something up though, I need to be around other people. When it’s something that I don’t really want to do, constant supervision is necessary to make sure that I actually do it. LMAO.

What is the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? Impromptu island hopping and cliff diving on my cousin’s boat during my last trip to the Philippines!

What are your life goals? Oh boy. Although I mentioned that I’m a very goal-oriented person, I’m really bad at designing long-term goals? I think that I’ve only ever gotten as far as five or so years in the future. I guess I’ll say that I want to work in a job that I enjoy, surround myself with people I care about, and do something that makes me feel like I’ve left a mark. (Ahhh, this was such a bad answer! Sorry! ;3;)

What is your favorite part of being on Tumblr? Probably the people I’ve met. The nice ones, ofc!

My Questions

What was your first big fandom? How did you get started in it and how did it inspire you?

Was there ever a fandom that you were a part of that you now regret? (catch me in middle school skipping class to watch the early premieres of the twilight movies and getting into intense debates over team edward v team jacob LMFAO)

If you had to pick an artist to create the OST of your life, who would it be? Why?

Tell me three things a person could say/do/believe to instantly taint your friendship/relationship with them.

I suck at cooking. Do you? If you don’t, what’s your favorite thing to make? (hmu with a recipe and i’ll love you for life lmfao)

If you had to name a daughter right now, what would you name them? What if you had a son? (Alternatively, if you have no interest in children, what name would you like to give a female/male character that you create?)

Let’s say you were to die right here, right now. What would be your biggest regret?

Think of one really, really good teacher you had. What made them so great?

What’s your “origin story”? If you had to explain why you are the way you are by only pointing at one event in your life, which one would you choose?

Tumblr is an actual hellhole. But what do you like about it?

How are you? (I’m stealing Shy’s question because I really like it lmao)

#tagged #longpost #long post #WOW that took me forever to type up aslkfje;wl

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dailyaudiobible · 6 years

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05/25/2018 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 7:1-8:18, John 14:15-31, Psalms 119:33-48, Proverbs 15:33

Today is the 25th day of May. Welcome to the daily audio Bible. I'm Brian. It's great to be here with you today as we buckle in and take the next step forward through our week and through the Scriptures. And from the Old Testament, we are observing the life of David. So, we’ll continue with that journey today. Second Samuel chapter 7 and 8. And we’re reading from the New Living Translation this week.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the book of John, Jesus, this is having his final meal with his friends, He’s having a final conversation with his friends and when we get to the conclusion of that conversation today, from here, Jesus will go to pray and will be arrested and, subsequently, executed as we know. We’re moving into that story. But if we can imagine this little band of brothers who have walked with Jesus throughout His earthly ministry have been counseled and taught by Him who have been with Him in great joy and who have walked many dusty miles of confrontation. These are the final things that He has to say to them all. And what He chooses to say is interesting because it's what they need to understand. It's the next step. It’s what they need to know about their future, but it is also precisely what we need to know because Jesus is describing our state of being, how things are for us. So, Jesus say’s, all who love Me will do what I say. And in reality, we could stop right there and say, that’s it, that's the thing - all who love me will do what I say. This is fundamentally the truth of the Bible. For example, we haven't gotten to the book of Ecclesiastes yet. We will soon. What for all of Solomon's wisdom, in the end, this is the exact conclusion that he comes to. So, Jesus says the same thing - all who love me will do what I say. My father will love them and we will come and make our home with each of them. Anyone who doesn't love me will not obey. And remember, and Jesus is saying this to his friends, these aren’t my own words. I'm telling you words from the Father. I’m telling you in advance, while I’m right here in front of you, that the Father is going to send in advocate. The Holy Spirit is going to come as my representative and then He will lead you forward, He will continue to teach you everything, he will continue to remind you of all the things that I've already told you because these things are coming from the Father. Okay. This is what our lives are supposed to look like because this is our reality as those who believe in Christ. The Holy Spirit has been sent. And we’re almost to that story, once we conclude the book of John and move into the book of Acts. The Holy Spirit has been given to us to lead and guide us into all truth, to remind us who we are, who God is, and where we are going together. Jesus said, I'm never going to leave you here. I'm never going to abandon you as an orphan. I will come to you. The Holy Spirit will lead you. He will teach you everything. He will remind you of everything that I've told you. And then Jesus has a gift, a parting gift as it were, to his friends, a gift that all of us get to receive. I'm leaving you with a gift, Jesus said. That gift is peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift that the world can't give. So, don't be troubled. Don't be afraid. Remember, I’m going away, but I'm coming back. And if you love me you’ll obey my commands. So, love God and obey Him is about the shortest, most concise description of what our lives are supposed to look like that we can arrive at. And we can certainly spend some time today observing ourselves with that in mind and simply asking, is that what my life is shaped like. Is that…I know that's what I'm going for but is that who I am. I love God, I obey Him. Because if that is the shape of our lives, then we can indeed experience this gift Jesus was talking about, which is peace of mind and heart. A peace that cannot be achieved any other way. So, let's observe ourselves today, for sure, and enter into this and consider it but also invite the advocate, the Holy Spirit that has been sent to live within us to reveal to us the ways that that's simply not true of us so that we might repent, change our mind about the trajectory of our of our lives and turn.

Prayer:

Jesus as we're moving into this story again this final time this year we take it to heart. We do love You. We do desire to obey You. We are completely aware that there is no other way to navigate life, we thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us into all truth. Thank You for the gifts of peace of mind and heart that comes as a result of being in love with You, following You, obeying You. Come, Holy Spirit and make this is true of us. We ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.

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And, as always if you have a prayer request or comment, 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi all. This is the Misfit Man from Cincinnati. I’ve been listening to the Daily Audio Bible for about a year now. First time calling in because I need…I need you guys help. I need some prayer. Been thinking for a while and been really feeling God tug on my heart that I need a change of occupation, that He is really calling me to work with children, orphans, the fatherless, the abandoned. It just breaks my heart when I see kids that have terrible fathers or no fathers at all. And I’m a father of five myself. And I just, I just can’t help it, I just want to help be there for those kids here on this earth to point towards their heavenly Father. So, anyway, I’m not exactly sure what to do or where to go. I’m still asking God myself and praying for direction and clarity but just asking for your all’s help to pray for that as well for me. So, I appreciate it. I am thinking about praying for you guys that call in. And I, yeah. That’s it. Thanks guys. Bye.

Hi family this is Craving Peace from Pennsylvania. And the Lord has put him in my heart this morning to pray for some people. Please pray with me family. Father I thank You for this day. I thank You for all things. And Father I pray for Cherry Chase Cherry pie with everything that she’s facing Lord. I just pray that You would strengthen her and help her in this situation of facing the hatred and all of the situations in her workplace. Father, please strengthen her. And I just pray that someone would come alongside her and make this burden lighter for her to get through. And Father, I also pray for Pelham, Father that You would strengthen him as well to stand against whatever he spacing. You know what it is Lord and nothing is impossible with You. And I just pray that You would strengthen him as well. And Father, too, for my sister in Virginia whose son has been out of jail for a little while. I don’t know her name Lord but You know her name. And Father You’ve put it on my heart today and I just pray that whatever they’re going through Lord that You would strengthen them and help them to stand. Father, thank You for this community. Thank You for each and every one. Thank You for this day, for all things. And we pray this in our Savior Jesus’ name.

He Daily Audio Bible family. This James the teacher in LA here. It’s May 22nd, Tuesday morning. I’m listening to the Cherry Chase Cherry pie talk about racism in her workplace and I’m heartbroken. I mean, you know we all hear about racism in our workplaces. A lot of us are experiencing it but I’m…anyway…your my sister, you know. So, I want to pray for you. Father God, we pray for our sister Cherry. We pray, first of all, that no matter what opposition or trials she goes through that she would, that she would shine the light of You on everything including in the suffering, especially in the suffering. And that in suffering for doing good, God, she would know that she’s receiving a reward from You and that she would be a powerful witness to those who don’t know You or maybe more painfully God, those who know You but just don’t understand Your body, don’t understand the body of Christ, don’t understand that You have, that You gave the blood of Your son to cover every tongue in every nation, every color, every race, every socioeconomic background, every original religious background, everybody. Yeah Lord, thank You that we can call upon our brothers and sisters, people literally…

Hi everyone. It’s Karen in St. Louis. Hey Cherry Chase. My heart goes out to you sister. I don’t have the experience of being African-American this country. And we do live in a country that has racism and we have sexism and so many other sins in this broken world. And I just want to encourage you sister. I’ve actually been in a situation, several times, where I worked in male dominated industries where I was sexually harassed numerous times, where I was looked over for promotions. And, you know, another thing is just being a single female in the church, being ignored and passed over and just not have any credible anything because, you know, males are the ones that the believers and so it’s frustrating. But the one thing that the Lord told me as it was so difficult to get up to go to work every day was that I was working for Him. I wasn’t working for them. And the one thing that He showed me through it as I pressed into Him and is a surrendered to Him and allowed the Holy Spirit just fuel me for each day is that at the heart of the matter it is the heart of the matter. We’ve been putting a square peg in a round hole for far too long, trying to change things from the outside in. And we really need to impact hearts. And that’s where the real lasting change happens. And through my responses to the things that I went through, there were many where hearts changed. And that actually some people came to know the Lord. And so, I just pray that for you sister. I just know that the Lord is our victory. He is and he will make all things new. He will make you be the victorious one through this. And, so, I just want to encourage you sister. I love you and I pray that you will sense all of the prayers for you…

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