#like i didnt expect that but. Ok. i should have expected that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

annamcdonalds67 · 2 days

Text

𝐆𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐒︱𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗𝐓𝐖𝐎˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗

𐙚˙✧˖°📷 ༘ ⋆｡ ˚

"BERNARD!" nic yelled, coming into matts room with chris behind him.

"wake up, you stupid fuck!" Nic said jumping on his bed shaking him awake.

"nic, leave me alone, im way too tired for this shit" matt said his voice muffled by the pillow over his head.

"I have to tell you something really important!" nic said.

"it can wait." matt said.

"no it can't. cause when you know, you're gonna freak out!" chris said, making his presence known.

"yes it can!" matt exclaimed before going back to sleep.

"Its about Isla." nic said.

"Ok, I'm up, what's going on?"

"She noticed us." chris said, jumping on the bed as well waiting.

"what?" Matt said, not believing him.

"she made a video about us." Nic said to which matt looked at him blankly expecting a "its a prank!" yell from either of them.

"Nic you did not just wake me up to play this prank on me, it's not funny."

"I'm serious, look!" Nic said handing matt his phone.

matt looked at the phone, Isla's voice booming through, his eyes wide as he focused on the voice coming out of her mouth. He stayed there in shock, the phone slipping out of his hand, his body in shock as he sat there freezed.

"Matt? Matty? You okay?" nic asked, waving his hands in front of matts face

"maybe we should give him a moment?" nic suggested and chris and nic walked out of matts

⚫⚪

⚪⚫

nicolas.sturniolo: congratulations ItsIslaCollins you have successfully broken matthew.sturniolo

User1: poor matt

User2: what does matt even see in her?

User3: we all knew this was gonna happen someday ➢christopher.sturniolo: unfortunately yes

matthew.sturniolo: I'm not okay

ItsIslaCollins: I'm sorry I didn't mean to! ➢matthew.sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.sturniolo: NO

➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO ➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO

➢matthew.Sturniolo: NO

Nicolas.Sturniolo: He's malfunctioning ➢ColeSprouse: put him in rice

ItsIslaCollins:

matt? You okay? Im sorry I didnt mean to break you

matthew.Sturniolo:

no no no no no

ItsIslaCollins:

I'll give you some time to calm down I'll be back

matthew.Sturniolo:

wait don't go lets start again hi I'm matthew

ItsIslaCollins:

Hi I'm Isla

matthew.Sturniolo:

I know

ItsIslaCollins:

I'm sorry for breaking you Do you want some rice?

matthew.Sturniolo:

no that's alright I think I'll be fine

ItsIslaCollins:

If you say so

matthew.Sturniolo:

i dont know if you can tell but im freaking out right now!

ItsIslaCollins:

why, I should be the one doing that!

matthew.Sturniolo:

Um i don't know probably because the most prettiest girl on this planet is talking to me

ItsIslaCollins:

please, you're only saying that because we're talking

matthew.Sturniolo

you dont believe me? just look at my previous posts wait dont NEVER MIND PLEASE DONT ISLAAAAA NO

seen

⚫⚪⚪⚪⚪

⚪⚫⚪⚪⚪

⚪⚪⚪⚫⚪

⚪⚪⚪⚪⚪⚫

Liked by: pepsienthusiast, redbullisbetterthanrootbear, larray and 850,000 other

rootbearisbetter: look at her smile!!!

pepsienthusiast: bro stop being obsessed

redbullisbetterthanrootbear: shes mine ➢rootbearisbetter: i dont know about buddy boy

User1: shes an icon, shes a legend ➢rootbearisbetter: and she is the moment

User2: isnt she the model from the onlyfans? ➢User3: wrong person buddy

larray: she is stunninggggggg ➢rootbearisbetter: I KNOWWWW

@mattybstqrn @cindylcuwho @larnieboox88 @sturnrc @watercolorskyy @bepositiveforachange @whicked-hazlatwhore @patscorner @joemamaaa42069

If you aren't tagged above, it's probably because you may have set up your account to not be tagged by accounts that don't follow you back/you don't follow

57 notes · View notes

leminhthinking · 4 months

Text

"add something, if youd like" ok, here is something i used a throwaway account to comment on the Double MV. i didnt reread so i didnt remember anything about it sorry but there probably is mention about internalized ableism. also personal experience. its kinda shaped like a rant

posting it here now that i came out about being plural here. yeah.

tldr (theres another tldr at the end of it but it was from the time i commented and i want to add something else here) i love representations

I keep finding myself wanting to comment something under this video, but I know I'll say stuffs about myself that I feel would be unsafe to share using my main so I'm using this throwaway account to do it instead 😔

I just want to say that I'm so grateful that Mikoto and John (and maybe other alters in their system too? saying this just in case) were ever written. Being a system who had just discovered that only over a year ago, I can almost see myself, no, I can almost see *us* in every part of their story up until now. And in a way, I feel like I've also... grown with them? If that makes sense?

I have been following MILGRAM for quite a while, enough to be there when MeMe was just released. Back then, I still thought that I was certainly a singlet (didn't have DID), despite how one of my alters - I will refer to her as my sister from now - showed up pretty regularly at the time. That's why when I watched MeMe, I remember thinking to myself, "oh shit, this guy's just like me, and because [insert internalized ableism here] I'm saying he guilty then." But then we all know what's got confirmed 😂 Funniest thing is, a short while before that, I also came to term about being a system. Dammit, to think about it, it felt like a second confirmation 😭😭😭😭

Now that I have accepted who we really are, the release of Double and their second voice drama feels exceptionally special to me, as the host of our system. John and Mikoto's situation right now really reminds me of us last year. My sister and I specifically, respectively. At that time, I tried hard to deny the fact that I am not alone in my head, and that we are entirely separate people. It took me a while (with a few tarot spreads. fuck. I'm a Mikoto kinnie now) to know that we actually are... and some actual, honest conversations to know that she actually loved me, rather than wanting to harm me... Yeah. Yeah. You see what I'm talking about? That's why I'm really rooting for Mikoto and John to have better communication... Ah, maybe if Mikoto watched "his" own second trial MV, he would understand...

That being said, I'm still not sure on what to vote... When I first watched Double and listened to the second voice drama, I thought to myself, ouch, ok, guilty because John clearly seems to be the alter who knows more right now and that would keep him fronting more to interrogate. But after a while, my opinion... changed? I don't want Mikoto to be affected too much from the verdict and maybe going dormant because of that. John maybe still there for the interrogation but fuck, I don't think he's ever been without Mikoto for a long time and I'd hate to see his heart breaks. Maybe innocent is the better solution after all for the whole system, as it might soothe Mikoto's mood and his mindset. I also trust that MILGRAM's writer team know what they are doing and therefore would not "kill off" John. Maybe they will just let him be inactive for a while if they are voted innocent, given that he's finally satisfied with our decision...

(Yes, I do know innocent = forgiven and guilty = not forgiven and I'm deciding while knowing that. I'm just calling them innocent and guilty because I'm more used to it while speaking in English.)

Hmm, that was a longer rant than I expected. I don't know how to conclude really, so I'll say something that would sound entirely unrelated 😔 If I remember correctly, prisoners can hear us audiences right? If that's really true, I just want to scream to Mikoto and John that it's 100% ok to be a system! To not be alone inside your mind! To exist alongside another person in your system and love them! It's ok to just be yourselves! And please please please fucking find a way to communicate with each other!!!

Once again, thank you MILGRAM for letting them exist... I really hold them so dearly in our heart...

TL;DR: local system getting emotional over Mikoto and John, rooting for them to have better communication.

#leminhthinking in paragraphs #leminhtalking #milgram #its so funny that when i come look at the tags in my blog milgram appeared to be the one at the top and then umineko #like i didnt expect that but. Ok. i should have expected that

8 notes · View notes

plesiosaurys · 8 months

Text

getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."

#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving #especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth #ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species #being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior]#[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time]#[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge.#but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal]#...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed #& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them #they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart #coelacanth #Latimeria chalumnae #animals #andy original #ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do

4K notes · View notes

oatbugs · 2 months

Text

pls i need to provide updates

#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year #and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire #and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f #friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl #acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what #are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and #friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after #everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to #invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me #i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother #and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids #so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo #any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd #and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk #THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date #w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a #few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay #scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK #like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl #like is that even doable #but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much #.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us #god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x #but it would be soooo funny #I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed #popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x #i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like #its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe

22 notes · View notes

perilegs · 15 days

Text

i pass pretty much all the time but hm. ive heard interesting stuff from drunk ppl i know who dont know im trans

#''haha when my bf was talking about you and i asked to see a picture he showed me one and i was like... is that right? bc i thought that was #a girl in that pic. i mean only bc i didnt expect him to have any girlypop friends haha''#yeah i mean that is an average thing to say and not mean or anything but it hits a bit different when im trans #i mean the person saying that didnt know and if they did they would have never said anything like that #but it's still a bit. hmmm.#also the topic of my looks came up and it's funny how everyone thinks i'm cute #i wish i could b masc hot but im fine with being cute. not everyone can look good the same way #but like it's so common for the only compliment transmascs get being ''cute'' for various reasons but i think in my case it's just my #wavy hair and slight babyface and round features #which yeah ok whatever i'm still young - ive got plenty of time to start looking less like a boy and more like a man #as in even if i was a cis guy id look pretty much like this #though! im only 2 years on t so i cant wait what the future holds for how i'll look :3c #well almost 2 and a hlaf but yknow #also i have a slight. can i say this. ''tranny voice'' which. slay. but i was told i ''sound like a femboy'' which #once again super funny that ppl say that stuff bc they genuinely cant tell im trans #the only reason i pass is bc i get read as [justin mcelroy voice] kinda faggy #oh that guy over there with wide hips and feminine manners and voice and small feet and hands [compared to cis men] with an apparently cute #face who doesnt seem to know anything about stereotypical guy stuff? thats a cis man #and i love that #but also one of these ppl is not cis #if you saw me irl you'd know im insanely easy to clock for trans people #but yeah whatever im just amused by all this it's kind of fun having ppl not know im trans #but also i have a new friend who doesnt know and i think i should let him know at some point if it comes up bc idk man. it feels like im #living a secret life or something. like obviously no one has the right to know im trans but. i can make the choice of wanting someone toknow #but also hes my only guy friend who lives in this city. well technically not the only one i have another friend but we never hang out irl.#anyways i dont want to ruin our broship #i dont think itd get ruined and if it did itd just mean whatever but im still scared #agh idk #leevi talks

5 notes · View notes

appsa · 1 year

Text

Superhero movies are only good when theyre silly and for kids like thats the only time it feels heartfelt 😔

#like ok i liked red hood movie too like #1. the satisfaction of watching jason todd beat the shit out of joker is unmatched #2. that scene when jason confronts batman and is like im not mad u didnt save im mad u let this guy keep hurting ppl after #and 3. batman being such a dad and failing any and all expectations sjdvdjdjhfkfjf #i think i just hated that it deals w such tragic characters but neverrr lets them emote and also i hate the art style #like god let batman at least look sad that his son is like this u assholes 😭😭😭 thats his SON 😭😭😭#i watched death in the family monologue over the events of under the red hood and it was just like #OK!!! WHERE WAS ALL THIS EMOTION IN THE MOVIE??????#whatever!!!#ugh.#sorry i have opinions #also i hate that they never let jason say 'im making sure victims feel safe the way i never could' ever it makes me so sad jsgdjfkf #ok im good. sorry.#thinking abt utrh makes me sick in the head #anyway. there should be more cute mean robin damian with his bestie.#cannot believe im going to be forced to read comics #also going to be honest utrh does not have Women and that easily makes it less interesting than the super sons movie #just saying. lois lane was fun

11 notes · View notes

audiovisualrecall · 6 months

Text

So much for sleeping early

#I'm scheduled off tomorrow and fhen i can go back Thursday which is inventory night #also i shouldn't feel like i have to apologize for asking my leadership at work to place fhe daily orders bc its not like i planned this but #they didnt reply to my email even just to say 'ok' or something so I'm worried anyway like #it doesnt help that i have no idea what we need in floral bc i was only in for like 5 hrs on monday and i was outside for most of that.#dealing w the holiday stuff we got in #anyway so i have to send another email or text or maybe call the store idk to ask for them to place tomorrow's daily order as well and i #have some things i suspect we need but idk of course so theyll have to check the cooler and/or in w my tm. and place it by 9. which they #should know and expect to need to do if I'm out and couldnf olace it prior #idk

0 notes

yanosdiary · 7 months

Text

Ouch.

#restart the whole a1 course ouch that hurt like a bitch #today wasnt that bad?? right?? i dont know i numbed myself the whole day i was sotoned down??#and then she implied that i was annoying so many times today my energy died so bad what #right ill just shut up more then im sorry if u want me to shut up and stop talking just say so no need to sugarcoat it??#enzy is either rlly good or makes my ears all red she chews my ears off #ok im sorry i even toned it down on purpose today?? i talked less?? should i just not talk at all then next time?#wah eror ini wah eror itu okay fine im sorry im so useless?? what can u expect im in my last year and i have no time to properly learn #i honestly didnt care how she treated me today it didnt hurt as much as it did the first time #probably because i really prepared myself to be hurt today so i didnt feel hurt at all but i was upset when she said we have to restart #i was lowkey pissed lol thats why i said frau yang bayar

0 notes

anhedonyan · 11 months

Text

As I've never been someone to go to parties and such I barely know how every alcohol drink tastes. So when I have the opportunity of trying a "new" one I do it, and everyone asks me "what's your veredict on this one?" and I feel like I'm a sommelier or something.

#yesterday it was gin #my bf told me you wont like it its disgusting #and i tried it #and my brother also told me beware gin is disgusting #and i was like...? nah it is fine?#and that i should mix it up with some Fanta or something #like with vodka #but i dont like vodka with fanta as much wtf it is better to leave it as it is imo lol #i hate baileys sake wine cider and beer #vodka gin and jagermeister are OK #i dont know about rum because ive only tried stroh lmao #i think? and it was around 75%?#first time i tried vodka was because i was at my bf home and he told me try it #and he expected me to put some weird and funny face #but i didnt and told him it tastes like... medicine? lmao #so later on his dad tried the same and he also felt disappointed because i didnt put a weird face lmao #i also tried whiskey? and i dont remember liking it but my bf told me it was too warm so it might have tasted different?#y hasta aquí mi recolección de aventuras de sommelier que no cata vino porque le parece disgustante #el veredicto final es que la ginebra huele a colonia da calorcito y baja fuerte #pero no me dan ganas de quitarme el sabor de la lengua con litros de agua #a diferencia del baileys el sake etc #que creo que mi problema con el baileys es la crema pero weno

0 notes

kuiinncedes · 1 year

Text

i need to test my fucking code lmfao 🤡

#imagine not just coding blindly and then submitting to see what happens like im about to do sdjnfbfdhhskjfbjdkhgdf #trying to set my expectations low even tho for some reason im hopeful that it's gonna work #but like bro u didnt test shit u have no idea lol #ksjnfwhbowdfogbqogbieruhqeigrhiwngoqrf FUCK it's 3:30 since when TT lmaooooooo #i told myself i woouldnt go to sleep until i finished this function section and here we are #it's not that late like i 've been going to sleep around this time lmfao #but i havent gotten ready for bed yet so it will probably be around 4:30-5 then #i was gonna wash my hair today........ dont thinkthats gonna happen XD #i think im procrastinating submitting lmfao #there's DEFINITELY something i missed #im just gonna be so so so sad if i dont pass any test cases for the shit i just implemented #i hope i hope i hope lmfao #🤡🤡🤡🤡 and like that probably means i should probably TEST IT TO SEE #but no #🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 i've been snacking on fucking salami bites LMFAO health <3 salt and fat <3 #RIP i rly didnt pass any test cases for the functions i just implemented LMAO ugh it's fine i just gotta test TT #wait i passed a few more tests for another thing ........ did i even change that from lst time i submitted lol ok #damn now i wanna try to debug but maybe i shoud sleep first TT #fucknjdbgfhbjdbfgjlsdblkfd i'm not . screeewwwwwweeeeedddddd i'm just . not not screwed TT #i at least have code written for almost all the functions and shit tho #it's not CORRECT CODE but it's CODE #anfghbwbgqirepupqiuhgbwjhfkbdfkhsfljghljdfkfasdf and i have a couple late days i can probably use dnghdjbfdbfbgerpqehir okokokokokkokkokok #am slightly nervous bc of show tmr and stats hw due thursday TT #jndsfjhgjfhjblsjdfblsjfhdbgqorbgpqiuerhtqepurthqornfjfddljfl ok shut the fuck up go to sleep or sm ;-;#jk not that i can even rly get ready for bed rn i think my roommate in the bathroom lmfao #screaming <3 #jeanne talks

0 notes

grandtheftpoptart · 1 year

Text

All my efforts go unnoticed. It doesn't matter what I do, all she sees is what I don't do. And then gets mad when I say how it makes me feel bad when she ignores that I'm trying.

#i got nearly all of my things out from the livingroom doning area #the whole house #i moved it into my room #the room ive been trying to clean and organize for over a year #the only things i left were my laptop and arm brace #which she pointed out and then said 'you didnt even clean did you'#fuck you?? literally fuck rihht off #and then she makes me feel crazy when my friends are over because she's so nice to them and still makes backhanded comments at me but in a #joking and zen tone #'your grandma is so nice' yeah to everyone but her own family until those people inconvenience her slightly and then she holds a grudge #like i know i can hold a grudge #but mine are funny and reasonable #hers are 'this person is attacking my whiteness so im going to be racist now because its my right and ill never forgive them or let them #live it down' and 'she didn't answer the phone and saidnshes busy even though im not busy and i want to talk. shes being terribke to me' ??#how the fUCK #does this make sense?#youre such a bad person sometimes with no emotional regulation and you expect rveryone else to live around you and by what you want #get over yourself! youre 60 years old it isnt a matter of 'things were different when i was young these things were ok to say and being #mean to others builds character and is funny' its hurtful and sticks with a person. you should know better.#'respect your elders' my elders have consistently demonstrated they don't respect anyone #so why should i respect them

1 note · View note

ssspace-cactusss · 1 year

Text

//vent

Im always trying to tell myself that im sure she just doesnt realize how hurtful the things she says are to me but im not sure all the self-gaslighting is worth it at this point :(

Like. Im the type of person who could have hot soup intentionally poured in my lap and i'd apologize to the person who did it and yet somehow every time im upset about anything at all its always malicious. I don't get it at all. Nothing i do is ever good enough for this woman.

D0nt rb

(Also, adding this on here bc i reached the tag limit but after the 'i cant always be the strong one' bit she also told me that i have to learn to "control my emotions". As if that's not what i was already doing to the best of my human ability, as someone who has clinical depression, doesn't take antidepressants (purely so that im not more if a fucking burden than i already am) has not had a therapy appointment since october because im such a fucking failure that i keep forgetting to reschedule, and who was at the moment an overwhelmed autistic person (thats right! Im autistic! Deal with it!), she is lucky all that happened was a bit of yelling, one (one) mild curse word, and me going to relax in another so that i didnt bring down the mood. "You need to learn to control your emotions better" yeah youve been telling me that for the past six years, im sorry but being noticably upset and then being the bigger person and apologizing for it like a normal is the best is can do maam. In case you havent noticed im a human being not a robot i cant reprogram myself to never get upset at anything. I so badly want to say "get fucked" but unfortunately im the only person in this house who knows how to act normal about being upset. At least i dont pace back and forth past your room while ranting and raving about what youre saying, all i do is brush it off, maybe occasionally scream into my pillow so you dont hear if im feeling spicy. I dont even comment on it anymore when i get misgendered or deadnamed, and i stopped telling her about things that make me uncomfortable in either freshman or sophmore year of high school. All thats gonna happen is im gonna get yelled at about it so why even bother.

(God i wish i could move out....)

#the log speaks #i live with her i never go anywhere im unemployed and shes home 5 days a week so were forced to see each other #i cant be expected to be happy and calm all the time purely so it doesnt bring her down :(#even if i realize 'hey im pretty upset i should go lay down in my room to chill out' it doesnt matter to her #cause to her me going to my room because im feeling overwhelmed (because im constanly bottling up my emotions to please her #but im not gonna tell her that) seems to mean that im actually getting away because i cant stand to be around her #even if i explicitly tell her that im not mad At Her she gets sarcastic and says ''yeah cause its so obvious''#fucks sake not everything is about you!!!! all that happened was i swore Once and yelled a small bit over a cord getting stuck on my foot #and i specifically restrained myselfso that i wouldnt upset you and bring you down! im stressed bc its the holidays and we were at grandmas #today for her bday and i have 300 things on my mind and i failed my class a 3rd time and were watching two movies i hate in a row!#it was just the straw that broke the camels back and i shouldnt have yelled. i went into my room to calm down so that i didnt upset her #and so i could apoligize. which i did do!#i said 'hey. i just wanted to say that im sorry about earlier. i was just feeling really overwhelmed and i shouldnt have shouted.#it really wasnt you i was mad at i promise.''#and she asks me (in a snippy tone of voice) why i was overehelmed. so i tell her it doesnt matter because i dont want to list out every #reason why i was upset (and i dont think i should have to for her to accept my apology....?)#and she's just like 'uh uh. sure.' and rolls her eyes #like ok bitch what the fuck do you want from me? would you rather i'd have neber apologized and just acted like nothing happened like you d #except i didnt say that bc thats a shitty way to act when im trying to apologize to someone. even someone who always assumes the worst of m #so instead i ask her why she always assumes when im upset it's because of her #(i dint remember exactly what i said bc im just so fucking angry but it was smth like that. causs she does this EVERY time i apologize to #her for anything cause apparently trying to be an emotionally mature adult is just so horrible of me!!)#and she starts going off about how she 'shouldnt always have to be the strong one' and how shes feeling freaked out and depressed because #of me now.#like wtf. just because youre stressed doesnt mean im not also allowed to be????#i already bottle up just about every negative emotion of mine to please you tf else do you want from me.#im allowed to be upset and i shouldnt have to air out every grievance just so you take my emotions seriously.#i know youre upset too. i understand that and im sorry about it. but that doesnt mean you get to treat me like shit for also being upset.#forthe love of god woman im not constantly out to get you and i dont hate you at all even tho i by all rights should. calm the fuck down.#this is about my mom just btw.

0 notes

cielospeaks · 2 years

Text

sometimes i think abt kasumiverse b6 and how wholesome post b6 storyline would be of em finally having people who treat her decently and nurture her for once in her fkin life like these are my ocs in a story i keep procrastinating writing why am i getting so emo abt this

#honestly i like to think all of them have decent background of the. not really morals per se but values?#but i think b6 is the most wholesome for me personally #like. 'you are not your regrets or other people's expectations for you'#its very. 'maybe life didnt turn out how you wanted or how it was intended but thats ok #and you are enough just as who you are. not who anyone wants you to be' sorta story #and also that the hurt other people have put on you doesnt have to be something youre ashamed of for yourself #you can take the things youve been tormented for and make them your own and make them your strengths #idk for me its very. personal ig #i also like how ems personality turned out #she was always kinda pitched as a foil/parallel to kasumi #and i think the fact that they are both (somewhat out of universe) afficionados of weird 2000s meme popular movies is good #not to be that guy but its like 'ohmygosh its just like n w h'#kasumi sees how sad and lonely and desperate em is and extends that kindness to her #and kasumi has to see elm how em sees him in turn #in that way em shows kasumi theres more she can learn as well and i like that #it is. not gonna lie. very n w h esque and thats probably my fault lol #anyways i should work on this fic over break lol #nervous (tm) for elms conclusion bc i want to give him the good stuff but the canon story sucks as usual #au ramblings #oc ramblings

0 notes

oatbugs · 1 year

Text

the way my heart sank . lol

#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious #but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her #and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree #so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call #and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated #and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad #and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so #confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not #want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should #but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐#which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening...#i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same #instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and #work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad.#like. im Afraid.#to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow #idk what else i can do #i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first.#shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk #i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me #like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w #the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at #me for trying to help . idk #UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me

15 notes · View notes

myafterlifeisbetterthenyours · 4 months

Note

Hii, hope u're doing ok in ur break. If the slot is till open, can i request Sir Pentious n Alastor with a dom male! reader who used to be a detective before he died?

I like the thought of Alastor being with someone who's supposed to arrest him (lol), and making him call the reader 'sir' a lot.

You Have The Right To Remain Silent... If You Can~

Sir Pentious

You slammed the serpent onto the desk, bending him over as you slid a hand down his scaly form, gripping his surprisingly curvaceous hips.

Yanking his head back by his hood, you growled in his ear.

"Where are you hiding the weapons?"

The man gasped softly, back arching as he swallowed the lump in his throat, scaly rear almost presenting to you.

"I'll never tell!" He whined, trying to pull from your grasp, only to moan as you gripped his hood even tighter, pulling him close.

You yanked his arms back, snapped a pair of cuffs onto him.

They were cheap cuffs, stuff from a xheapo store, you sure if the man tried hard enough they'd break, yet you knew he wouldn't, the man whining softly as you leant over him.

With a sadistic smile, you gripped his face, pulling him in close.

"Tell me, and this can be easy. Ooor you could resist, and I could be very, very Hard on you~" you growled, practically grinding on him.

The man simply moaned, biting his lower lip.

"So, you think you can break me?! I'd love to see you try!" He cried triumphantly, as you leaned in, breathing heavy on his neck.

You smirked, yanking on his hood as you slammed his face into the desk.

"Oh don't worry. I'm not scared to throw the book at you." You growled, leaning in close, practically purring in his ear. "But with you, snake boy... you should be careful, cause if you keep resisting imma spank you with it."

You growled, slapping his scaly "ass", Pentious moaning lewdly as he practically pushed back in your hand.

The man all but whining as you manhandled him.

You had some back and forth, Pentious declaring he'd never reveal his secrets, you determined to 'drill' them out of him, using your 'experience' on Pentious. Putting that top notch detective experience to work.

Of course you weren't too rough. You were too experienced a detective to rough him up enough to leave marks, well, to leave bad marks, you left plenty of fun marks on the man, though even then he never minded a bit of rough play.

Having the man at your mercy was always a lovely thrill, Pentious a giddy idiot when intimate, but he was surprisingly capable at theatrics when in the mood, man a damsel at your mercy.

Well, not necessarily at your mercy, Pentious was totally in on it, the man all but eager to submit to 'your authority', putting up as much of a fight as he was expected too.

You didn't get too rough, well, not physically, as you didnt wanna leave marks, not that Pentious minded marks, he just didn't want the sort you couldn't explain off.

Pinning him to the desk, you'd hold him close, kissing and suckling his delicate neck flesh, drawing a string of moans and whines from the man, Pentious moaning loudly as you suddenly bit the snakes neck.

This was hardly the first time you'd played this role, Pentious particular to a bit of power play, especially when you so naturally knew your part.

And despite the man's craving for status and power, he relished the way you dominated him, a big goofy grin across his face as you used your once lawful abilities to hold power over others, the snake fascinated with almost supernatural power you held over him, almost as much as the hold you had on his body.

And while he'd never publicly admit it, the snake loved submitting every tume you took charge.

You treated him like any other perp, cuffing the man as you... had your fun~

Pentious loved every second of it, you always sure he enjoyed it, the snake loving it when you were in power.

This was a surprisingly big part of your relationship, the two of you having a deeply intimate connection.

Pentious relishing more then just the idea of you, but the sheer dominance you could exert, the man both loving and desperately wanting to emulate your dominant abilities.

And while the sexual aspect was always heavy, he really craved to know how to dominate, you trying to show the snake just how to be more dominant.

Yet despite your abilities and attempts, the man occasionally having bouts of success, you always held the cards in your relationship.

You'd of course teach the snake many of the skills you held.

You were a veteran detective before death, and as such you knew far more about the minds of others then many Sinners in Hell, a skill Pentious desperately wished to emulate.

Of course, when not engaging in Detective themed S&M, you had a deeply romantic relationship.

Pentious, despite himself, was desperate for intimacy. The man adoring the fact he had someone to care and attend to, and you damn well knew it.

The snake was always amazed at your deductive abilities, you able to trll much about him before he even spoke, you doing your best to teach him, too... mixed results.

But despite the regular 'Cops and Robbers' routine, you also had a deeply intimate relationship, you often spending great lengths of time with the man.

You, of course, let him keep something of an illusion of control, the man allowed to build his air fleet and egg-boi army, you keeping a watch of it all, but the man ultimately free to do as he pleased.

Of course, you barely had to assert yourself to dominate the man, Pentious immediately folding any time you so much as touched him, the Serpent relishing your touch in his life, craving your affection.

You had the snake wrapped around your fingers, Pentious loving it any time you flexed your power over him, The snake loving to puff up his ego, but the man quivering if you so much as purred in his ear.

You and your 'big bad snake' shared a deep, if lopsided, relationship, as while the man relished asserting his power and status, he adored when you asserted your power over him, two of you having a deeply adoring relationship.

Alastor

Your little back and forth with Alastor was long running, the man finding you exceptionally interesting.

You were in your 'office', the man sat in a chair as you stood over the man.

"My, Mr Detective, aren't you going to read me my rights?"

You simply smirked, yanking on his dishevelled neck tie, the man biting his lip as you stared down at the man, the Radio Demon's wrists bound behind his back.

The man who was so used to getting his way, that having the man at your whim, the man at your mercy, it was a refreshing change of pace for the man.

And if you happen to play into the roaring persona of an ABU agent eager to 'question' him with some... unorthadox interrogation tactics.

"Oh don't worry, I'll make sure you know every right and wrong you've got~"

Alastor knew this song and dance, having endured such treatment when alive, something he was sure to remind you of every time you had your little 'play sessions'.

You always eager to play into the role, playing up your persona, usually with a distinct shift, either rank or position, or his Crime.

Always making sure to play into it. Hard. Relishing your 'play time' with thr man, the dapper demon seemingly appreciating your theatrics as you pressed him into a wall. Or desk. Or the back of your car.

Or over your car.

Or on that ferris-wheel that one time.

Pressing your body to his, getting closer then any man ever had, binding his wrists with his own dress shirt as you slid your hands into his belt line.

"Looks like youll be going in for some Hard Time?"

You growling in his ear, working over his lithe form, drawing out a string of breathless moans from the man.

Alastor purred, a crackle of static as his back arched, you relishing this control, always managing to illicite a moan from the man.

The demon, despite his pride, was deeply susceptible to your detective persona, the man, in an oddly reminiscent episode enjoyed reliving his mortal years, the thrill of the back and forth. And of the Hunt~

The man was witty, and smug, as he was in life, always eager for your 'play time'. Which was iron8c since he wasnt all too partial to physical contact, yet with you he adored those 'rendezvous' always eager to elicit a rise out of you, man partial to some pain.

Though even as you slammed him against your desk, flesh pressed against flesh, the man always doing his best to keep up his smug persona, his way of encouraging you to 'put him in his place'.

You had an exceptionally smug back and forth every time, Alastor exceptionally snarky, well, until you smacked his ass, Alastor suppressing a whine as you leaning in close, biting his neck.

Now, Alastor would never admit as much, but he was very partial to a good bite on the neck, the man often whining like a doe when you sunk your teeth into the man's neck. A favour he would often return, you having more then a few bloody Tshirts due to the man.

The man would often end up as a whining, mewling mess, eyes crossing as you held the man down, turning Alastor into a moaning, whining mess, utterly submitting to you when in your office.

Of course the man would never admit as much publicly, keeping up his ever smug radio persona when in public.

But when in the privacy of your own home, he'd playfully submit, allowing you to 'take charge', you usually ending up inside of him.

One way or another.

The man, despite his pride, loved your little games of back and forths, able to experience real dominance, a breath of fresh air for such a powerful demon, the dapper demon so used to being the most powerful person in the room, he received an alien body of energy every time.

Of course, your past as a detective was always a point of teasing and prodding for the man, the man loving to work you up with idiotic questions until you'd end up snapping, said snapping usually ending with him bound to a chair, missing half his clothing, his neck utterly covered in big red bite marks.

A big dopey grin on his face with his hair all kinds'ah fucked up.

You were a constant source of entertainment, as whenever you werent 'investigating' something, i.e his body, you were usually enduring his teases and taunts, the man always happy to get a rise out of you, you quickly reminding him who was in charge.

Your favourite being to bind his wrists with his own bowtie, regularly blindfolding him before having your way with him, leaving a whole myriad of new marks and scars.

Alastor liked to pretend otherwise, but it was painfully obvious he was always eager for it, even as he moaned and squirmed, back arching as he practically begged, something he desperately tried not too do, but you always managed to squeeze it out of him, among with other things~

When not engaging in sexually deviance, the two of you had an exceptionally romantic relationship, as even as he was hesitant to show real intimacy, or well, public intimacy was mostly off the table.

Of course, you'd still manage to get something from the man, usually a simple kiss, or affectionate nuzzle, a monumental achievement for anybody. One you always celebrated in your own smug little way.

And yes, he'd never reveal the inner dynamics of your relationship, something you didn't blame him for, he was as vain as you were assertive. You still shared a loving, and disproportionately assertive, relationship, the two of you loving each other deeply, adoring each other. Usually with Alastor being bent over a desk being your favourite way to show it to each other~

#headcanon #x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel x reader #sir pentious x male reader #sir pentious x reader #hazbin hotel sir pentious #alastor x male reader #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader

833 notes · View notes

star-girl69 · 3 months

Note

As much as I love overprotective Clarisse which believe me I DO😍😍 am I the only one who kinda wants to see a protective reader if something happens to Clarisse or even Ivy?!

I feel like Clarisse may just sit back and be Yh that’s my girl 🤭

Literally kicking my feet and giggling while writing this

Also I love your writing so much it’s so goodddd I check my phone for any new posts all the time and scream when you do

TYSMMMMM BAE ILY!!!!!! been in a writing slump recently. someone else please write a mind bogglingly good clarisse fic to inspire me again. lord give me strength…

forget the fact this is 2 days late. thank y’all 🙏🙏

anyways officially adding danny to the perfect family bc I DO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

ok so imagine this

clarisse is participating in some sort of contest

idk roman gladiators LMAOOOO

but basically it’s like a big tournament? and yk she’s destroying eating it up cooking, whatever you will

finally she gets to like the semi-finals and atp everyone kinda knows she has it in the bag

her opponents are scared

(trust an underground betting ring was formed. everyone who bet on clarisse is thanking the gods and everyone who didn’t is shaking in their boots)

clarisse is happy bc you and the twins (danny and ivy)

are sitting right in the front row cheering her on

and she got a wonderful good luck kiss from you

so not only is she happy and thinking about that but also she’s convinced that she’ll win just bc she got a kiss from you

so the fight starts, ivy is genuinely SCREECHING at the top of her lungs she’s so me she can’t be normal about anything ever

and you and danny are just regularly cheering for her 😭

eventually someone behind you tells ivy to shut up

YOU WHIP AROUND BC WTF???

harshest death glare in the universe. like even zeus would be a little scared.

ivy doesn’t even notice she’s chill

the other person quickly shuts the fuck up.

then you turn back to watch clarisse and the fights just starting, the other dude is scared and knows his ass barely stands a chance

she’s having fun pummeling him

ugh fight scenes are hard to write

so eventually she tosses his ass to the floor

“GO MOM GO GO GO BEAT HIS ASS MOM BEAT. HIS. ASS.”

“IVY STOP FUCKING SWEARING”

and this dude, who’s laid on the ground, who knows he’s cooked, decides the best option is to grab some dirt and throw it in clarisse’s face

and no one was prepared for this

like clarisse was standing over him with her spear at his throat, smile on her face, everyone knew he was done for- THEN HE DECIDES TO PLAY DIRTY AND DO THIS???

like everyone thought clarisse had it in the bag

the rules for this competition were that you’re not allowed to use anything but your person and/or pre-approved weapon(s)

NOT EVEN CLARISSE WAS EXPECTING IT

SO SHES DISTRACTED BY THE FREAKING DIRT IN HER FACE

SO WHEN THIS BITCH KICKS HER SHE GOES DOWN

DEAD SILENT!!!!!!!

EVERYONE GASPS!!!!!!!

whispers in the crowd… “oh bro is cooked…”

(sorry i’m obsessed w saying cooked rn)

and he is cooked

but by someone unexpected.

clarisse is wiping the dirt off of her face swallowing her shame she can’t believe she got distracted and let herself fall she should have saw it coming but suddenly she hears someone screaming

she opens her eyes and sees you menacingly walking towards this dude, who’s still on the ground and scrambling away

and what’s funny it you’re yelling at him like a mother would

the crowd is giggling…

“THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES. WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT MANNERS??? WERE YOU NEVER TAUGHT DECENCY??? SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS SHAME SHAME SHAME”

clarisse is literally sitting there mouth dropped open when you grab his ear and he HOWLS

dragging him back towards clarisse, he’s kicking and screaming and literally CRYING

“HELP HELP HELP ME HELP SHE CANT SO THIS SHE CANT I DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG”

“YES THE FUCK I CAN YOU BROKE THE FUCKING RULES NOW APOLOGIZE YOU LAWLESS SWINE”

“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING PLEASE I DIDNT”

one of the apollo kids who organized the event is looking around (kinda enjoying it) but mostly very scared

“technically you did break the rules… sorry pal…”

“PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME”

obviously, this is the hottest thing clarisse has ever seen in her life.

she’s sitting back on her palms, watching in utter amazement, trying not to bite her lip

someone loving clarisse… that gets her going

someone loving clarisse enough to PROTECT HER??? she’s about to explode. EXPLODE. she’s never needed you so bad in her life LMAOOOO 😭

and this bitch is STILL refusing to apologize

like damn it’s not that hard… it’s not like you have any pride left to speak of you just got dragged around by the ear 😭😭 bro you’re cooked just apologize and get out while you can

AND YOU’RE GETTING FED UP WITH IT TOO

“hey, dumbass, why don’t you look at the stands?”

you point, and everyone follows your finger.

ivy is a literal cartoonish whirl of her pink t-shirt and the white shorts with the little trees on them

danny is holding her back (with ease, might i add he’s strong as fuck 💪)

“i’ll let her out.”

“I DIDNT DO ANYTHING-”

“LET HER OUT”

he barely escapes that attack.

when you finally call ivy off of her attack, she stands next to clarisse, literally growls at the dude, before hugging clarisse

clarisse is still on the ground in utter shock.

she can’t keep her eyes away from you and ivy. she can’t get rid of the GLOWING feeling in her chest

is this… what it’s like… to be loved?

WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH BITCH NOW IM THE ONE CRYING NOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭

danny eventually walks over and helps her up

then they all watch as you smile sweetly at this very traumatized dude and ask if he’s ready to apologize

“IMMSORRUOHGOEE IMSORHR ESEBIMS YORUUE”

(i’m sorry oh gods im sorry i’m sorry”

then you walk over to clarisse, rolling your eyes and mumbling about bad parenting, girl she pounces on you.

kisses you so hard in front of everyone

ivy and danny are hugging each other and shielding each other’s eyes, screaming, begging for you two to stop

“y/n” she breathes as she pulls away “you are… the most amazing mother, the most amazing girlfriend, and literally the love of my fucking life.”

literally twirling your hair “omg baeeeee you’re too sweet 🤭”

(y’all don’t end up leaving her cabin for a LONG time.)

after this clarisse definitely sort of realizes a whole new side of your relationship. seeing you publicly defend her like that, publicly care about her, love her, omg she is going crazy for you!!!

after this incident she definitely stops calling you her gf.

gives you a really pretty ring she got one of the hephaestus kids to make, starts calling you her wife

and nobody better have a problem w that lol or else they got two ares killing machines, one feral attack dog, and a literal mother who is not afraid to drag you by your ear.

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008 @liballer @heyimadison @nvirskies @pnsteblnme @mar2ss @restellsss @ravisinghs-wife @marsconer @evangelinexo @randomhoex @luvrrish @rebecca37 @saltair-and-palemoonlight @ace-spades-1

#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

418 notes · View notes