I think if I could be the kind stranger in someone’s memory, that’d be enough.

facing a betrothed

part 5 of Cathexis

a/n: looking forward to writing more Illumi now that the build-up is done. sorry for the wait but the holidays are keeping me busy

wc: 2.3k

Cathexis

Ever since finding out the truth behind Illumi’s obsession with you, reuniting with him was something you wanted to avoid at all costs despite knowing better. You weren’t ready to face the man that intended to trap you in a contract marriage without a termination clause. But much like your first meeting, Illumi showed up by invitation of Hisoka and saw you exiting the bathroom as you towel dried your damp hair.

“What are you doing here?” Illumi asked, his usually unaffected eyes were fractionally narrowed.

“I’m sure it’s obvious, Illumi,” Hisoka answered on your behalf as he stood up from his seat, still clad in his white bathrobe, and stood next to you. You glared at the magician and took a step away from him.

“What are you doing, Hisoka?”

“Just trying to clear up this misunderstanding,” Hisoka stated with a smirk. “Don’t you think Illumi deserves to know?”

“No!” Your trembling grip on his arm did nothing to stop Hisoka and you could only watch Illumi’s reaction with wide eyes.

“Y/N knows you’ve been watching over her, Illumi. That’s the only reason she came looking for me.”

Illumi’s face was unchanging except for the tensing of his jaw before turning to you. “How long have you known?”

“Three years now,” you replied swallowing your unease.

“And the engagement?”

You didn’t fail to notice his choice of the word engagement instead of betrothal and it only confirmed your suspicion that he was onboard with the arrangement.

“Just recently.”

“I told you she wasn’t ready.” Illumi said turning to Hisoka.

“I thought she deserved to know,” Hisoka replied with a shrug but the smirk on his face only grew seeing Illumi toy with the needle in his hand—an indicator that he was discontent.

“This wasn’t something you could decide.”

“So when was I going to be ready, Illumi? In a couple of months? You don’t get to decide that for me.”

You were tired of getting pushed to the sidelines like your opinion didn’t matter. Hisoka might be a twisted individual but at least he had the decency to tell you what the future had in store for you.

“Your reaction is proof of your immaturity.”

“I’m being sold off to repay a debt, how am I supposed to react?” Illumi opened his mouth but you interjected with a bitter laugh. “Never mind, I remembered that I’m speaking to someone devoid of all emotions.”

You were done with the conversation and threw the towel on the bed. You quickly laced up your shoes, eager to put as much space as possible between you and the duo.

“Leaving so soon?” Hisoka asked before his hand reached down towards your head. You caught his wrist and stood up. “I’m busy. You know that.”

Without another word to the magician, you shook off his hand and stalked towards the door. Before you could reach it, however, Illumi was there in an instant.

“We need to talk, Y/N.”

“I’m late for a job. We can talk later.”

Activating your nen, you pushed Illumi away and darted out the door without looking back. You reached the end of the hallway before your entire body went numb causing you to stumble and stop. It felt as if your arms and legs had fallen asleep but you carried on. The further you got, the more your body seemed to work against you until it culminated with sharp pains in the back of your neck.

The stabbing neck pain lasted throughout your mission of protecting your client’s rare emerald in transport from Kakin to Zaban City. It affected your performance to the point that the shipment was late and your displeased client cut your payment by half.

Those were the events that led to you to your family doctor who serviced your family long before your birth. The two of you were able to work together to locate and extract the golden nen-covered needle wedged into the back of your neck. You were baffled at the realization that someone had inserted that into you, until your doctor cleared everything up with a single question.

“What manipulator did you cross?”

Illumi.

It was Illumi.

The dream that you had after meeting him for the first time hadn’t been a dream at all. He actually broke into your room and inserted his needle into your neck. It dawned on you that the warnings and the bad feelings you had when you were meeting Hisoka were all because of Illumi’s needle that had brainwashed you somehow.

That day only, you wanted to run into Illumi. You waited the whole day for him to appear but he never came. Of course he wouldn’t show up when you wanted him to. With the needle sealed in a plastic baggy and stashed into your travel pack, you headed to York New to meet with one of your regular clients, Rivero Langstaff.

Over the past three months, Rivero had provided a good number of jobs for you. Despite the majority of them not paying a lot, they were usually easy to do and allowed you to make some quick cash on the side while a big job popped up.

It was late evening when you arrived to Rivero’s office building and the dark rain clouds covering the sky only made it that much darker. With the rain beating down on your umbrella, you walked into the building and greeted Rivero’s secretary, Margo. It was during your walk to the elevator with Margo that you sensed something was off. Rivero’s nen, while not very strong, was undetectable as the elevator approached his office on the 14th floor.

As soon as the two of you got off the elevator, you turned to Margo and sent her back down to avoid getting the innocent secretary tangled into whatever was waiting for you. Upon opening the office door, you found the office dark with Rivero’s body slumped over his desk. As you drew closer to him, lightning flashed and you saw the dark red puddle beneath his head that slowly amassed more and more of the desk’s surface area. Proving your suspicions, you then straightened your gaze to the figure that stood against the window.

Long black hair and matching soulless eyes stood immobile while facing you. Illumi’s collected demeanor had you seething but you steeled yourself to the spot you stood on before addressing him.

“Did you have to go this far?” Your voice shook from anger and you balled your hands into fists to keep them from attacking the murderer before you.

“We need to talk about the engagement.” Illumi stated in that absent-minded manner of his while ignoring your question per usual.

“I-I seriously...I can’t believe you.” You stammered running your hand through your hair before beginning to pace around. “Did the thought of approaching me like a normal human ever cross your mind?”

“I already tried that but you ignored me; therefore, I needed to take certain measures.” He stated quirking his head. He was mocking you and you’d had enough. Digging into your travel pack, you pulled out the plastic baggy with Illumi’s needle and threw it at him. He easily caught the baggy mid-air and it’s contents.

“More drastic than that? You really tried hard to control me didn’t you, Illumi.”

“Ah, I was hoping it would last longer.” He took the needle out and stored it in his pocket. “I guess it doesn’t matter now that—”

Illumi suddenly stopped and you sensed Margo’s presence getting off the elevator. In a fraction of a second, the two of you were by the door and you held his wrist while he held one of his large yellow needles to your neck.

“Just go and leave her out of this” you hissed while Illumi stared blankly down at you.

“But we still need to talk.”

“We can talk somewhere else,” and you hesitated before continuing. “Meet me outside of my condo. I don’t think I need to tell you the address, now do I?”

Illumi didn’t answer but still removed his needle and you let go of his wrist. You swiftly exited the office and met with a concerned Margo. After explaining Rivero’s death at the hand of a mysterious assassin and comforting the distraught secretary, Margo went back down to call the authorities and you left to meet with Rivero’s murderer.

Despite your instructions to meet you outside of your condo, you found Illumi waiting for you in your living room.

“Have you always broken into my home while I sleep?” You asked offhandedly while going into your kitchen and putting the kettle on the stove for some tea.

“Only when you’re training or after a mission. Although, I have never been to your ancestral home.”

He paced around the living room until he stopped in front of the framed pictures your mom had of you. Illumi took in your living room while you kept your gaze trained on him ready to stop him from venturing further into your home.

The sharp kettle whistle drew you from your thoughts and you quickly prepared the tea before fishing two mugs from the cabinet and bringing it all to the coffee table. With a mug of hot tea in your hands, you faced Illumi who sat ramrod straight on the couch opposite from you with his mug still on the table.

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“The conditions of our marriage since it is based on an agreement.” Illumi replied in that fake cheerful manner of his.

“And do I get an input in these conditions?”

Illumi regarded you for a moment, his mouth twitching into what you assumed was meant to be a smile, before answering. “Not really, but I’ll listen to them and depending what they are, I might allow them.”

“Hah…of course.” You replied bitterly before taking another sip of tea. You weren’t sure what you expected. You were the payment demanded by the Zoldycks; therefore, it was only natural that the agreement would be unilateral.

“My family wants the marriage done exactly one year after the engagement as is Zoldyck tradition. Until then, you and I are free to do as we please with whomever we please but as soon as we are wed, you are mine and I am yours until death.”

How romantic

“Fine but what about after we’re married? Will I still be allowed to work as a hunter or is it Zoldyck tradition to stay at home and be a good little housewife?” You couldn’t help but play along.

“It is Zoldyck tradition,” Illumi answered matter-of-factly either not picking up on your sarcasm or simply choosing to ignore it; you suspected the former. “But you can still work as a hunter if you wish as I have no intention of having children right away.”

The thought of raising Illumi’s kids and being a housewife gave you chills and you wished there was something stronger in your cup to get you through the rest of the conversation. “Is there anything else I should know?”

“Ah, yes. We are a family business, therefore, once you become a Zoldyck a part of your wages will go towards the business.”

“Not much different than my current situation,” you muttered, finishing off your tea. You looked up to see Illumi eyeing you with a strange look that resembled curiosity.

“Why do you work so much?” Illumi inquired, taking the first sip of the tea that had most likely gone cold. “As far as I know, your parents still work as hunters and are very active. You also come from a long line of hunters yet you’ve been working non-stop ever since you got your hunter license.”

You set your mug down and readied the answer you’d been preparing since finding out about the engagement. For multiple aspects of your life, you would resort to making up half-lies that hopefully convinced him until the deadline.

“A long line of debt too. Our family has been in debt for a couple generations now and my parents and I have spent our lives trying to pay off the ones we can.” The entire time, you kept your eyes trained on Illumi for the slightest movement of muscle indicating suspicion but the stoic assassin remained still.

“I see. Well, you can choose to do whatever you want; however, I’ll continue to keep tabs on you until the agreement is complete and we’re married.”

“Right,” You swallowed and relaxed your tensed shoulders. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

“Yes, my family would like to meet you before the engagement.” Illumi replied setting his mug down on the table and standing up. “I’ll let you know when that will take place so you can make arrangements for it.”

“That’s fine but I’m letting you know that my time is precious and I expect monetary compensation.” You stated and stood up as well. Illumi’s jaw tensed the slightest bit before agreeing to your conditions. Grinning from ear-to-ear, you gave Illumi your bank account information knowing it’d be going back to him in the form of repayment.

With that, Illumi left and you took a deep breath as soon as you closed the door behind him. The dreaded conversation was finally over and you’d managed not break a vase on his head no matter how much you wanted to. Hearing the expectations Illumi and his family had of his future bride made you shudder in disgust but also served to motivate you to earn as much money as you could. You decided to call one of your clients to see if they had any work for you when you received a notification from your bank. Upon reading the message, a smile unconsciously creeped on your face.

[Deposit of 200,000 Jenny from Illumi Zoldyck]

Ner naak (My peace)

Pairing : Din Djarin x earthling!reader

Warning : none

Summarize : Din Djarin meets you, an earthling, with no idea of the existence of an outer space. 

Words : 1795

A/n : Hello there! So here it is, the chapter 4! I feel that this chapter is very slow, I mean, the timeframe. I don’t know how many chapters this series will have because I want to keep it like this, in a slow motion. I hope you don’t mind! Otherwise, enjoy your reading!

Masterlist. // Ner naak Masterlist.

"Welcome to my home!" 

Din was observing your entrance from floor to ceiling. You could see him linger on certain features, such as the carpet under his feet or the vintage chandelier hanging from the ceiling. He seemed enthralled. Then he noticed a picture frame. Your family was there. You were there too, next to your father. He took it in his hand, looking carefully at the picture. 

"This is my family." You said. 

"Do they live here?" He was worried.

"No. My father died five years ago and my mother went to the mountains to get some fresh air. It's just me! "And your dog sniffed at you, jostling you slightly. "And Banjo, of course," you laughed. 

He put the picture back in its place as you got rid of your jacket and shoes in a closet. 

"Please make yourself at home, the bedroom is upstairs on the right and the bathroom's down the corridor, I'll make some food and..." 

"You don't have to." He cut you off. 

"Huh, aren't you hungry?" You asked.

"No, just for the little one." He said. 

You were puzzled for a moment and suddenly you heard his stomach grumbling. You raised an eyebrow, with a slight smirk on your face. 

" Your stomach said the opposite. Don't worry, I love to cook, so for two or three it makes no difference. "You said. 

"No, I, huh, I can't." He said. 

"You on a special diet? No problem, I can adapt, tell me..."

"That's not..." He sighed. "I can't take my helmet off." 

" So, you're really stuck in there?" You teased. 

"Sort of." He agreed. 

It made you smile, but you understood. You invited him to venture further into your little house, offering to settle down in your living room. 

"I'll prepare a tray for you." He was about to protest, but you stopped him in his tracks. "I'm going to bed early, I'm exhausted and then tomorrow I'll get up early to get all the pieces for your ship, you'll have the house all to yourself." You finished as you headed towards the kitchen. 

Din felt like an idiot. An idiot because he was grateful to you for accepting his condition so easily. He didn't know how he could repay you, he had no idea, so he felt like an idiot for having to accept kindness from an earthling. Especially from an earthling, in fact. The rumors were so unfounded that they were becoming ridiculous around you. He wanted to return the favour, he wanted to thank you but not knowing how, drove him crazy. 

And then you suddenly stuck your head out of the kitchen door. 

"By the way, I knew I'd forgotten something... My name is y/n!" 

He said nothing but nodded. You left to take care of the meal, but a few minutes later, when you didn't hear him say his name back, you put your head back in the doorway. 

"I guess if I can't see your face, I can't know your name, but what can I call you?" You asked. 

Your eyes literally burned with goodwill and it was the first time Din felt deeply touched by it. He laid the child comfortably on the sofa before he joined you in the kitchen. 

"Mando." he said. 

"Mando?" you asked back. "It's fine with me." 

You were focused on the meal, a number of ingredients were spread out on the table and you seemed to know exactly which ingredients mixed perfectly with one another. Din watched you juggle with ease between the kitchen tools. It has been a very long time since he has seen someone cooking and watching you do it brought him back to the time when he was just a child. He had very little memory of the pre-war period, but he remembered the smell of a good homemade meal that was still steaming. 

You took one look at him and seeing him follow your actions with such interest made you smile. You wondered if he would like to help you and as you were preparing a quiche, a simple meal, you held a knife to him, pointing the leeks at the end of the table. 

"Would you mind cutting the leeks for me?" You said.

His helmet glinted with confusion. He looked at the knife, he looked at the green and white stems that you had shown then, he looked at you. Maybe you had misinterpreted his wish, but you were convinced that he wanted it. You could tell from the way he behaved. He had come closer to the table with one hand on the table and he had studied your every move carefully. 

He stared at you and the knife and then decided to take it gently. You smiled kindly at him, rummaging through a cupboard and pulling out a cutting board which you put in front of him, then you grabbed the leeks and brought them closer to him. 

"It's very simple," you began. "You cut here, at the edge of the green and the white part, then you cut the white part into small dice and you put them in there." You pointed to the colander.

He nodded slowly as if he was still trying to grasp what you were asking him and waited for you to lose interest in him before hesitantly giving his first cut. 

Your dog had decided to join you and he sat at Mando's feet, watching him attentively. Din was so focused in his task that he had not even noticed him until he felt an insistent look on him. He looked down at the dog, who seemed to mock Din's caution with these pieces of leek, which definitely did not look like small dice. 

"Stop looking at me." He said. 

Your dog's tail began to wag gently against the ground, and he tilted his head to the side, listening carefully to what Mando intended to say to him.

"Go away." he added. 

Din wasn't comfortable, but your dog had another idea in mind, and he moved even closer to Din, who slammed the knife against the table as he tried to move away from him. The jingling drew your attention and Mando turned to you, a question mark hanging on his helmet. 

"I think he wants you to pet him." You said, with a smile on your face. 

"To pet... him?" 

"Yes, scratch his head, he'll leave you alone afterwards." You said.

Mando lowered his head back to your dog. Banjo was still staring at him intensely. He'd come closer again, sitting up straight at Mando's feet, and Din obviously didn't know how to do it. Mando looked at you again and you nodded to encourage him while you finished mixing the ingredients together.

Din was looking at the dog. It was a very strange thing for him. Certainly not the strangest he'd ever seen, but strange in the way it behaved. He seemed very affectionate towards you and the child, affectionate and playful. But Din had also seen the fangs in his mouth when the animal had only yawned. 

He stared at the dog and slowly directed his hand to the top of his skull. Instinctively, he had tightened his fingers around the handle of the knife on the table as he hesitantly placed his gloved fingertips into Banjo's fur. He scratched it for a second before removing his hand and satisfied with the semblance of affection Mando had just given him, your dog went into the living room. 

"I told you." You said, with a smile on your lips.

You took the pieces of leek that were actually more chopped than diced and added them to the preparation before putting them in the oven. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Mando apologized for the state of the leeks. 

"No, thank you for preparing them." You said. 

You leaned against the counter before you stared at Mando. 

" Can I ask you a question?" You said.

Mando nodded. You were about to speak, but your mouth didn't seem to find the right question. In fact, you had so many that you didn't know where to start. How could you know where to start anyway? You were looking at someone from elsewhere. An elsewhere so vast, both frightening and magnificent. Mando was waiting for your question, but he could see you looking for the words you needed. He waited patiently for you to come out of your thoughts, but he noticed that you were lost in what you were supposed to ask him. 

"Why the helmet?" He ventured out. 

" Yeah, I think we'll start with that." You nodded quickly, relieved that he'd taken the lead. 

And then you listened to what he had to say. He didn't really go into details, but you knew enough to understand why he couldn't take his helmet off and where he came from.  And that was enough. At least for now. 

"It must be incredible." You said. 

Mando had sat in a chair during his story and you were checking if the quiche was cooked. Din didn't quite understand what you meant at first, so he kept quiet until you went on.

"I mean, to be able to travel in space. You know, everybody here dreams about it, but I don't think anybody's really ready for it. In fact, people aren't ready at all. They're so afraid of the unknown that they'd lose their minds just at the thought." You conclude. 

" Still, you seem okay. " Mando noted. 

"I don't count." you laughed. 

"Why?" 

You shrugged. Maybe it was because you never really felt at home. Maybe it was because you always felt like you were missing something, but you had never been able to put a finger on what it was. 

"Maybe I'm already part of the unknown." You joked.

You finally get the quiche out of the oven. Its perfume spread quickly around the room and you noticed Mando taking a deep breath. He enjoyed the light smell of the food and his stomach growled a little more at the thought of taking a bite of this homemade pie. 

"You don't sound like the rumors." Mando said. 

"The rumors?" You asked as you cut several slices of quiche. 

"About earthlings. There's a lot of stories about you." he said.

"How come the universe knows about us, but not us about you?"

Mando sighed. He knew why, and it saddened him that he had to tell you because you were far from what the rest of the galaxy was saying. 

"Earthlings are considered pets, stupid, self-centered, haughty and highly judgmental." Mando said. 

"At least that makes me feel better about one thing." You said.

"Which is?"

"Well, they're not so different from us after all." 

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Helheim is a land of peace.

The layers of agonized wails and woeful imploring she prepared her ears for was lost in the breeze of the melancholic melody of nature. Naked humming voices flowed serenely amidst the gradient of indigo blue leaves, dry and wrinkly, singing the ballads of lost souls attached to skinny tree branches, rinsed of color at the roots, blending smoothly with the pale greenery surrounding the wide meadow that grew to be her most favored solace.

Flowers, prey to decaying, small in stature but mighty in resistance, veiled the piece of soil that parted the center of the dark Kingdom in two, catching vines in the heart core of the spot her beloved boy once clawed his way to freedom, from a grave that came too early for a boy too gentle, too youthful, too much of a man before his time.

Her ghost Prince, her youngest; Stolen and crowned the King of Death, with a rain of tears on his cheeks and a cloak of swords in his back.

'Crowned, ' she spits, imagining it rippling through the dead earth and fell right onto Borr's bald head. Time failed to sweeten her bitterness as she thought, yes, this is how their history beautified the terrible incident. Time didn't heal her pain, neither did it gentled the sharpness of her teeth.

They had deceived him, betrayed him, punished him, stole his life away, and called it a reward.

After that dreadful day, She spent more nights weeping to slumber, eyes buried in the cushions of Hel's frigid chambers, burning brighter, hotter, than the hard oak feeding red-orange flames in the fireplace of her bedroom.

The phantom ice caressing the silver of her skin was more comfort than suffering, painless mercy she sunk into little by little every day until the light of day became unfamiliar. The cold here shares that quality, she ponders, a soft touch of unburnt ice to keep you from perishing.

Its a lot like her son, she thinks.

Yet, Bestla doesn't feel its presence permanently. A long, stone shaded cloak fell upon her shoulders, showering her back in a misty warmth provided by the thick velvet of the garment. Her eyes observe a silhouette shadowing the pale sun, the single leak of blight light hanging above the smoke sky.

"I was hoping to find you here, " Estrid wears a smile radiant enough to pale all gold in the 9 realms. "Peaceful up here, is it not? Hel liked hiding here, as a boy. Said the breeze was nice."

Bestla, for a moment, allows her eye to inspect the other woman for the first time. Her shoulders are round and solid, strong as a soldier, complemented by the stunning danger of a shieldmaiden. Bestla tracks night-dark locks brushing over creamy skin, long and curly. She's as much warrior as she is woman, it's as if she only now observes.

Her arms are an impressive addition, boxy as much as lean, holding closely on her shield and sword. A sword that, doubtlessly, claimed a long string of lives. She's not as fearful as it would be wiser to be. Estrid has been nothing but pleasant, as much as one could be when encountering their circumstance, her presence never frightening her as much as it saddened her.

"For someone carrying such heavy armor, you move with great stealth, Lady Sigurdsson, " If the other woman peaked at the too feather-soft timber of her voice, she had enough cheek to act differently. " I suppose you'd want an explanation as to why I'm avoiding my son?"

" Forgive me, your Grace, but Lord Hellison was never included in the conversation, " Bestla thought she spotted a bloom of red dusting her cheeks as she grinned gently, taking a spot none to tight to the former Queen, but close enough to leave some space had the smaller woman want to fill it. "I thought you would, after..."

"...It's unwise to polish hard truths. They cut harder that way, " The Queen's words were dressed in both honesty and advice, chapters of her life unfolding beneath her eyes as if to pledge truth to the statement. Estrid studied each word with expert attention.

Bestla raises, arms guarding her middle, eyes cast over the sea of flowers beneath her shoes.

"I'm grateful, for the kindness you showed him. I remain in your debt, in fact, though it escapes me how I can repay you here. "

"We don't believe in paying kindness, in the North. Goodness isn't traded in gold, " a quiet chuckle is swept by the breeze slashing through the grand mountains. Estrid inhales deeply and opens her arms when she lets her body fall upon the grass. "If it was, don't you think more people would practice it?"

The southerner's lips lift in a one-sided smile of her own, private and discreet. Debtless favors certainly sounded sweet to the ear.

" Aesir aren't precisely renewed for our gentle hearts, so I suppose not. I still mourn the stress you must have endured, however. Children are far from being a jolly affair. And the tales we hear as children don't exactly portray Titans as loving parents."

A stratum of blank seriousness shaped Estrid's features, graveness resting heavily on sharp boned cheeks and warm brown eyes. " I fell in love a day after meeting him, " Bestla swallowed hard at the admission. " I knew him for less than a sundown, but I knew he was mine. I was dead, alone and helpless and afraid, and he was too much like me to be a fateless coincidence. Words aren't enough to express it. He was just...Meant to fall, and I to catch him. "

The leafs sang to fill the edged hush musking around them. Estrid pimped the other's empty breathing as anger, for she heaved a sigh long enough to match the twin lack of words on both their parts, and excused her nerve. " Apologies. I don't dare name myself a mother, nor do I starve for anyone's approval, least of all yours. I only wished to say you raised a good son. A son lucky to have a mother like you, for as long as he did."

"...You helped him," Bestla started, chest light and comfortable, not cutting blades piercing her skin as she expected. "Kept food in his mouth, put clothes on his back. You loved him truthfully and protected him fiercely. You're not any less his mother than I."

"...It must be a sour thin all the same, for someone so beloved to greet you as a stranger. For that, I can't help but feel sorry still."

" That's a sentiment we can share. He... Hel, my child, my youngest son. Born at the edge of two worlds that never loved him. They aren't my own, not my blood, not him neither Odin, my kind hearted prince, my little lion boy. And yet, I was not their mother for the simple reason they didnt come from me. Everyone told me so.

They weren't my own, yet I held them at my chest, kissed their skinned knees and elbows, wiped their tears, and chased sickness with handpicked herbs and wet rags because I trusted nobody to do so. No language is enough to describe the love a mother has for their children.

No tongue is enough to put my love in words."

"...Even for Balder?"

Bestla laughs, an odde of heartache and sorrow. " Even him. Love gives no choices, last of all to parents. I still remember the day of his birth. A terrible storm broke the skies that evening, set fire to five houses, left a month's worth of reparations behind. He struggled, I've been told. He kicked and wailed and fought all the way.

I haven't had the chance to even hold him in my arms and he was so eager to run from me. My eyes never saw something more perfect than his tiny ears, his adorable little hands, and feet, his honey hair. He looked so much like me I hardly believed it.

But I felt no different with his brothers. There was a sickness in my mouth, when they were babes and I was forced to be departed from them. I couldn't bear to see them in another's arms, a wet nurse, or a squire, when asked to trust anyone else with them, I was faithless.

When Hel was born, he couldn't be convinced to let me go. He was so quiet, I thought perhaps this world claimed him already. His mother drew her last breath on that bed and I was the one he clung to, the one he hooked his fingers into. One of the King's guards present, he tried to prey him away, do you want to know what I did? I unsheathed a dagger from my thigh, slashed his throat, and watched him die." The confession was a river she scalded into freely.

"Would I insult your intelligence by asking if you're familiar with Sandr?" Bestla asked once Estrid wordlessly raised on her feet. She felt enough security to push her body forward. " Titans held mighty battles there."

A smirk pinched the taller woman's lips. " We were rowdy children, I'll confess. But yes, I know the location. You rebuild beautifully, " dark eyes shaped the bronze scorpio pendant suspended in the middle of Bestla's long neck. " Your family picked a Scorpio as their sigil. They made a fine legacy."

" Oh, it was. The finest. Beautiful, skillful, and yet, terribly lonely. I had 10 siblings. 5 brothers and sisters, however, I confess I felt more like an accessory than a member of a clan. We were strangers to each other. Foreigners with the same name, with our only common factor being our house.

Our country was gorgeous but very poor, you see. We trusted nobody, and in return, our distrust was repaid with hostility. Eventually, when our skin touched bone and we ran out of livestock, we opened the gates to trade. Naturally, we were invaded, our lands stolen, our necks had shackles only we could see.

And I held the key for everyone.

I want you to picture the most powerful man in the world, asking me to marry him," a bitter laughs cracks in her throat, and the wind whips away the water from her eyes. " He had a crown on his head and 50 thousand banner men behind him, with more gold than he could ever need or deserve and 100,000 spikes for our heads alone. What else could I have said?"

Her legs shift, stepping closer to Estrid, eyes as flat as her tone. " What I did, I did because I had to. To defend my people. To defend my family. To defend my blood. Every sacrifice, every drop of blood I've spilled, I did it so the people I love could live the peace I never did."

She advances, every step that's forward to her is one back for Estrid, eyes concentrated intensely on one another with enough fire to make Fire Giants sweat.

"All the sins that I have done. Or had done at my orders? The truths my children don't know, the truths a narrow number of people lived to keep the secret. The kind vicious enough to make fine warriors as yourself lose sleep, if they came to know them.

Perhaps this is my justice. A punishment for survival in a world where living is no bed of roses. But I won't stop helping my children, heart beating or otherwise.

There's a storm coming, My Lady. And I have every intention of ensuring everyone walks dry."

sincerely yours — chapter ten

Summary: Eisley Tusie was no stranger to Saturday detentions, but there was just something about that one Saturday that changed her.

Word Count: 2.4K

Warnings: foul language

"IT'S LIKE ME, YOU KNOW, WITH MY GRADES." Eisley looked at Brian, urging him to continue. "Like, when I step outside myself kind of, and when I look in at myself, you know? And I see me and I don't like what I see, I really don't."

Eisley frowned, "I'm sorry. Why don't you like yourself?"

"Yeah," Claire added, "What's wrong with you?"

"'Cause I'm stupid," he said bitterly, "'cause I'm failing shop. See, we had this assignment to make the ceramic elephant, and, um... and we had eight weeks to do it and we're supposed to, and it was like a lamp, and when you pull the trunk the light was supposed to go on. My light didn't go on. I got an F on it. Never got an F in my life... When I signed up, you know, for the course I mean, I thought I was playing it real smart, you know. 'Cause I thought, I'll take shop, it'll be such an east way to maintain my grade point average..."

"Why'd you think it'd be easy?" John asked evenly.

Brian looked at him, "Have you seen some of the dopes that take shop?"

"I take shop," Eisley deadpanned, narrowing her eyes at the blond kid.

Bender scoffed, "You must be a fucking idiot."

"I'm a fucking idiot 'cause I can't make a lamp?" Brian fired.

"No, you're a genius because you can't make a lamp," John replied, glowering.

Brian leaned forward towards John and Eisley, "What do you know about trigonometry?"

"I could care less about trigonometry."

"Bender," he said, "did you know without trigonometry there'd be no engineering?"

"Without lamps, there'd be no light!" John fired back.

"Okay," Eisley said loudly, interrupting the two, "We get it. Both of you are good at whatever it is you're good at." Bender huffed and put his chin on the top of her head.

"I can write with my toes," Allison said in an attempt to defuse the tension. "I can also eat, brush my teeth..."

Claire looked mildly disgusted, "With your feet?"

"... play Heart and Soul on the piano."

Brian, having cooled off, piped in with, "I can make spaghetti."

Claire smiled and turned to Andrew, "What can you do?"

"I can, uh, tape all your buns together," he replied awkwardly, "Eisley, what about you?"

Eisley shrugged, "Not much, I'm afraid."

Claire snorted, "Come on, that's got to be a lie."

"I don't know," she told the group, "Maybe photography. The pictures I take of my sister are pretty cool."

Claire leaned forward eagerly, "You have a sister?"

"Yeah," Eisley laughed lightly, "She's six. She's the reason I always run out of film for my camera." Her peers chuckled.

"I want to see what Claire can do," John said suddenly, and Eisley sighed. She turned a little in his grasp so that she was turned a little on her side, more comfortably leaning against Bender.

Claire gaped for a split moment, "I can't do anything."

"Now, everybody can do something."

"There's one thing I can do," Claire began, but then shook her head, "No, forget it. It's way too embarrassing."

"You ever seen Wild Kingdom?" John asked, trying to get Claire to relax a little. "I mean, that guy's been doing that show for thirty years."

The red haired girl bit her lip in contemplation before admitting defeat, "Okay, but you have to swear to God you won't laugh." When Bender agreed, Claire shook her head and dug in her purse for her lipstick, "I can't believe I'm actually doing this."

When Claire placed the lipstick between her breasts, Eisley's eyebrows drew. The red haired girl lowered her face and when she looked back up, her lipstick had been applied perfectly. Eisley huffed a laugh and clapped, mildly impressed.

"All right, great!" Andrew cheered, "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"Camp," Claire responded, still smiling, "Seventh grade."

"That was great, Claire. My image of you is totally blown," Bender piped up, snarky and sarcastic. Evidently feeling humiliated, Claire began wiping the lipstick off.

Eisley frowned and looked up at John, "Don't be an ass."

"You're a shit," Allison seethed, "Don't do that to her. You swore to God you wouldn't laugh."

"Am I laughing?"

"You fucking prick," Andrew snarled.

Bender turned to Andrew, "What do you care what I think, anyway? I don't even count, right?" Upon hearing this, the blond jock lowered is eyes, and Eisley was brought back to the beginning of the day when he had spewed those same words to John. "I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference... I may as well not even exist at this school, remember?" He turned his eyes to Claire, "And you... don't like me anyway."

"You know, I have just as many feelings as you do and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them!" Claire replied tearfully.

"Don't you ever... ever... compare yourself to me! Okay? You got everything, and I got shit! Fuckin' Rapunzel, right? Best thing I got is Eisley! School would probably fucking shut down if you didn't show up! 'Queenie isn't here!'" Eisley took one of his hands in her own and held it tightly, but he didn't appear to notice. "I like those earrings, Claire."

"Shut up," Claire said quietly.

"Are those real diamonds, Claire?"

"Shut up!" she shouted.

"I bet they are," John continued as though he didn't hear her. "Did you work for the money for those earrings?"

At this point, Claire was beyond furious. "Shut your mouth!"

"Or did your daddy buy those?"

"Shut up!" Claire repeated loudly, and she began crying.

"I bet he bought those for you! I bet those are a Christmas gift! Right? You know what I got for Christmas this year?It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Bender family! I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, 'Hey! Smoke up, Johnny!" Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy, don't cry here, okay?"

There were a few beats of silence that seemed to drag on forever. Finally, Andrew broke it by asking, "My God, are we going to be like our parents?"

"Not me," Claire said quietly, still crying, "ever..."

"It's unavoidable," Allison told the group. "It just happens."

Claire asked, "What happens?"

"When you grow up," Allison explained, "your heart dies."

"Who cares?" asked John.

Allison, almost to the point of tears herself, admitted quietly, "I care..."

"Um," Brian piped up, "I was just thinking. I mean, I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was wondering, um, what is going to happen to us on Monday? When we're all together again? I mean, I consider you guys my friends. I'm not wrong, am I?"

"No," said Andrew.

"So on Monday," continued Brian quietly, "what happens?"

Claire asked, "Are we still friends, you mean? If we're friends now, that is?" Brian affirmed. "Do you want the truth?"

"Yeah, I want the truth..."

"I don't think so," she said finally.

"Well, do you mean all of us or just John?" Allison questioned.

"With all of you," she confirmed.

Eisley sighed audibly through her nose as more arguing began, this time instigated after Andrew called Claire out.

"Oh, be honest, Andy. If Brian came walking up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? I mean, picture this, you're in there with all the sports. I know exactly what you'd do, you'd say hi to him and when he left, you'd cut him all up so your friends wouldn't think you really liked him!"

"No way!" Andrew exclaimed.

"'Kay," Allison said, cutting in, "What if I came up to you?"

"Same exact thing!"

"You are a bitch!" John shouted at Claire.

The red haired girl turned to look at him, "Why? 'Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?"

"No," Eisley said, much quieter than her peers were being. "You're just selfish."

"Yeah," John added, "You know how shitty that is to do to someone! And you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell 'em that you're going to like who you want to like!"

Angrily, Claire snapped, "Okay, what about you, you hypocrite! Why don't you take Allison to one of your heavy metal vomit parties? Or take Brian out to the parking lot at lunch to get high? What about Andy for that matter, or me? What about Eisley? If you walked down the halls with her, they'd laugh at you and you'd probably have to tell them that you're doing it with her so they'd forgive you for being seen with her!"

"Don't you ever talk about my friends!" John began vehemently, "You don't know any of my friends, you don't look at any of my friends, and you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends, so you just stick to the things you know, shopping, nail polish, you father's BMW, and your poor--rich-- drunk mother in the Caribbean!"

"Shut up!" Claire screamed, crying again.

"And as far as I'm concerned about what's going to happen when you and I walk down the hallways at school, you can forget it, 'cause it's never going to happen!" John continued forcefully, "Just bury your head in the sand... and wait for your fuckin' prom! And don't you dare spew that bullshit about Eisley!" he added hastily, "She's stood up for you numerous times today and this is how you repay her! She's probably the best person in this entire fuckin' school, and I'd be proud to walk with her in the halls!"

"I hate you!" Claire spat.

"Yeah? Good!"

"Then I assume that Allison, Eisley and I are better people that you guys, huh?" Brian asked. "Us weirdos... Do you, would you do that to me?" he turned to Allison first.

Allison opened her mouth but said nothing for a second. Finally, she admitted, "I don't have any friends..."

"Well, if you did?"

"No," she said, "I don't think the kind of friends I'd have would mind..."

Brian turned to Eisley next, "Would you?"

Eisley smiled gently at him despite all the chaos that had been occurring. "No," she said, "You're my friend."

"I just want to tell, each of you, that I wouldn't do that..." Brian announced. "I wouldn't and I will not! 'Cause I think that's real shitty."

"Your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us," Claire told him.

Brian laughed bitterly, "You're so conceited, Claire. You're so conceited. You're so, like, full of yourself, why are you like that?"

Claire began crying for a third time, "I'm not saying that to be conceited! I hate it! I have having to go along with everything my friends say!"

"You don't have to do anything," Eisley said sharply. "You are your own person. They don't control you. Popularity is not an excuse for being an asshole."

"You don't... you don't understand... you don't," Claire explained. "You're not friends with the same kind of people that Andy and I are friends with! You know, you just don't understand the pressure that they can put on you!"

"I understand completely!" Eisley said, raising her voice for only the second time that day. "Get your head out of your ass! You've got to understand that you can't be dependent on your friends forever! Grow up and get over yourself!" She was breathing heavily by the time she finished. To comfort her, John pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She gripped his hand a little tighter.

"I don't understand what?" Brian fumed, "You think I don't understand pressure, Claire? Well, fuck you! Fuck you!" The boy began crying but hastily tried to cover it up by hiding his head in his sleeve. "Know why I'm here today? Do you? I'm here because Mister Ryan found a gun in the locker..."

There was a brief silence where everybody digested what they had just been told. Eisley's heart felt heavy. She didn't know if the gun was meant for others or himself, but she had a feeling.

"Why'd you have a gun in your locker?" asked Andrew, softly.

Brian shook his head, "Just forget it..."

"You brought it up, man!" Andrew countered.

"I can't have an F," Brian murmured, "I can't have it and I know my parents can't have it! Even if I aced the rest of the semester, I'm still only a B. And everything's ruined for me!"

Pitifully, Claire whispered, "Oh, Brian..."

"So I considered my options, you know?"

"No," Claire exclaimed, "Killing yourself it not an option!"

"Well, I didn't do it," Brian snarled, "did I? No, I don't think so!"

Allison asked, "It was a hand gun?"

"No," replied Brian, "it was a flare gun, went off in my locker."

Eisley pursed her lips to try and conceal her growing smile. In her mind, she could picture it happening and setting fire to his homework and stuff. She could picture faculty comically freaking out as they tried to get the locker open to put the fire out.

Around her, her peers were trying to contain laughs, as well. "It's not funny," Brian told the group, but everyone ended up bursting into laughter, including Brian. "Yes, it is," he said, "Fuckin' elephant was destroyed."

"You want to know what I did to get in here?" Allison asked suddenly, and everyone looked at her. "Nothing," she said, "I didn't have anything better to do." Everyone began laughing again. "You're laughing at me?" she asked, smiling.

"No!" Andrew said unconvincingly.

Allison laughed, "Yeah you are!"

"What about you?" Brian asked, looking at Eisley. "What'd you do to get in here?"

Eisley bit the inside of her cheek and glanced at Andrew. "I broke Denny Duchamp's arm," she admitted.

"That was you?" Andrew exclaimed. "He's a wrestler! He can't participate in any of the matches left because of that!"

Eisley shrugged, "He should have thought about that before he decided to try and get his hand under my skirt." John laughed. His chest shook lightly, making Eisley move with it. She smiled. "Seriously, it wasn't cool. He got what he deserved."

Andrew didn't look as irritated anymore. Instead, he smiled a little.

A wish (Tony’s Big Brother) | Avengers x Male Reader|

Chapter Two: 

a/n: for the person who asked me to tag them on the story I apologize I accidentally deleted it so please send me a message and I can tag you on the next chapter. Enjoy! 

Jennifer got the baby ready while I waited for them downstairs. I had gone to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and saw my reflection. I still looked young, no changes were made and as for my body, it was toned something that I didn't have before. My hair was still the same color as the last time I saw it and noticed I was wearing a blue suit that felt a bit tight. "I need to look for Tony." I talked to myself unaware that my "wife" was in the doorway spying on me as she was carrying the baby. "You ready to go? I have Maria ready hopefully we get to meet Santa Clause since it's her first Christmas." I nodded turning around and walking out of the bathroom. 

We gather our things including a phone or two that I had to carry because of work and got inside a nice car that had no idea what it was called. She put the baby in the back in what seems to be a car seat as she called it. Jennifer then drove to this place called a mall where people shop because of all the small stores it had inside. During the ride there, the car ride was silent except for the Christmas music playing on the radio and the sound of my phone vibrating every two minutes.

After a few more minutes we had arrived at the place. I got out of the car while she took the baby out in some sort of barrier so she wouldn't fall. She handed me the baby and carried her with my left hand so Jennifer could carry a bag that had things inside which I guessed were the baby's things she needed. 

Once inside people were coming and going with bags or shopping carts with gifts. Christmas music was blasting everywhere, there were kids laughing or crying because of the Santa Claus that was taking pictures near at the end of the mall. Small trees filled with lights stood almost everywhere. A gigantic tree was near Santa Claus with some fake snow on the ground. I watched in awe as I took a look around this mall had at least two floors with tons of stores. 

"Are you kidding me? He's going to be super mad if I don't find something for him to give to pepper! I will be toast you here me." A man passing by yelled talking on a phone. He was a bit tall, he was wearing a black suit and carried bags in one hand. I looked down for a second when I heard the baby cry. "Jennifer the baby's cr-" I stopped in mid-sentence when someone screamed I turn around to the see the man falling from the second floor. My reflexes quickly took over me and in an instant, I ran over to the man with both hands and carried him with no problem. As for the bags he was carrying I managed to save them from falling. I placed down the baby on the floor and slid her with my leg towards Jennifer so she wouldn't get hurt. Everyone around us stared at the sudden action, some began to applaud and recorded or took pictures while others continued on with their day. Soon men in black suits came over to us. 

I have to admit I was shocked myself too. Never in my life have I had those reflexes. "A-are you okay sir?" I asked as he fixed his posture. I quickly turned around sending a relief glance at the baby who was now in Jennifer's arms. 

"I- yeah... I'm fine thanks for saving me. I was too busy talking on the phone that I failed to notice the stairs. You are a lifesaver, there has to be a way I could repay you back." I defended myself with my hands. "Don't worry sir it's fine with me just please try to be more careful where your walking. If you excuse me I have to get back to my family." I said making my way back, but the guy continued to watch from afar as Jennifer and I left the scene. 

'He looks a bit like Tony..'  he thought.

_______________________

We were in the mall for about two hours or if not more shopping for Jennifer's and other's Christmas gifts. While she walked into the stores I stayed taking care of the baby near a bench sitting down. I was making funny faces down at the baby making her giggle. "You have your grandmother's eye and your uncles smile," I whispered under my breath. I made little farting noises in her tummy and tickles. "You know daddy really isn't from this timeline because I'm still only twenty-seven." She looked up at me confused. "I know sweetie daddy is really confused too because one moment he was with grandma and grandpa, then I wake up with a wife and the fact that I have a beautiful little girl. But of course, your mommy doesn't know about it and might think I'm crazy. But I really miss my parents especially your uncle Tony." I sigh looking at the ground.

Flash Back: 

"Anthony where are you I have something to show you, little brother." I shouted all over the house happily caring something in my hands. I ran all the way up to the room we both shared. I was only twelve and Tony was six years old. 

I opened the door to our room and found Tony playing alone with some robotic toys. I walked slowly behind him and placed the item on the bed before sneaking behind and grabbed him by his waist planting tons of kisses on his cheek only to get rejected by him. 

Tony wiped the kisses from his cheek hurting my feelings a bit. I didn't show an upset face instead I acted like it didn't matter. "Look a friend of mine gave me his older brother's baseball hat that was signed by Captain America, isn't it cool Tony? Now I have something signed of his." I showed him the hat to his face. But he knocked it out of my hand and threw it out the window. 

"Oh no, it fell out the window what a tragedy." He said with a fake worried tone there was not a hint of remorse what so ever.  "What the heck Anthony that's not cool." I yell storming out, "I'm tired of you and dad always talking about Captain America he's not alive anymore!" He yelled back. I ran out of the house and ran back outside to look for the hat. "I can't find my hat, you're really mean Anthony why are you always so mean to me!" I yelled walking in front of our room window. "Because you deserve it. You're just like him and I don't like you." He yells back pointing a finger at me. 

"But Anthony I'm nothing like him. I want to spend time with you but you don't want me to." I looked around in the ground looking for the hat. "Sheesh, I can't find the hat." I murmured to myself, Tony then closed the window slamming it shut. I looked up and saw the hat on the big tree that was next to our house so I began to climb up the tree to retreat the hat. I was close to getting it with my fingers but my feet were slowly slipping down so I quickly tried to grab the hat but when I did I began to fall down to the ground realizing it was too late. 

The sound of crying snapped me back to reality and saw Maria crying in my arms. I tried to rock her back and forth but a sudden smell made me guess it was something else. "Does someone need a diaper change? I have no clue how to change a diaper guess we have to go get mommy." I got up with her in my arms while carrying her bag on my shoulder. 

I walked to the store where Jennifer was in and when I arrived I saw her through the glass looking at clothes and smiled at her. Maybe I should try my best and put effort into acting like a normal husband and father maybe there's a reason why all of this happened. Smiling like an idiot, I took a small step forward when the glass from the store suddenly shattered. It felt like everything happened in such slow motion, Jennifer slowly fell on the ground as a drop of blood fell down from her chest. Her eyes looked into mine making me remember the same way that my mother had died. 

The sounds of gunshots drew in closer, in sudden seconds they were near me. I then quickly covered the baby with my arms trying to protect her in any way I could. Everyone in the mall ran in different directions making it impossible to even see who was the perpetrator that was causing all of this.  I saw blood coming out from beneath her and forming into a pool of blood. I was going to make a run for her when another gunshot was heard, my eyes turned to the left and saw two people running away from the person. They went passed me almost knocking everyone in their way, then he appeared from the crowd it was him. Suddenly the people that ran weren't the targets anymore it was me, that same man who killed my parents was coming after me now. 

His eyes were dark, there was no sign of remorse what so ever it looked like he was brainwashed by something that made him want to kill. The gun he pointed was aimed towards me, my legs then began to move to try to run away as fast as I could. I unbutton my shirt and placed Maria inside protecting her from any glass that was shattered as I passed the stores, his footsteps were getting closer. "Go I'll cover you from here!" someone yelled my head turned to see a man standing on the second floor shooting at him. The two people who were running from before were right in front of me, I still didn't understand what was going on everything seemed to be so confusing. How did he manage to even find me? 

A loud bang was heard then fire suddenly erupted from one of the stores, the explosion then through my body off to the side in quick moments I made sure I fell on my back to protect her head and held her tightly against my chest. I groaned feeling the glass break, it felt a lot worse on your back than anything else, "Are you okay Maria?" looking down her eyes were filled with worry "Hey...everything is going to be okay I promise." The man turned around trying to look for me, the blonde man from earlier then went up against him. A grunt was heard coming from him, I couldn't help but look seeing how hard he was trying to fight him. 

"Steve! We need to take him down there are too many civilians here!" the redheaded yelled trying to help him as well, another gunshot was then heard coming from the second floor. The man kept shooting trying to take the metal arm man down but kept shooting at the wrong places. I felt my heart beat rapidly in despair, frightened to find a way to keep Maria safe but also help them out. Civilians were still running passed me, they kept tripping over one another trying to flee the scene and get somewhere safe. I looked down at her she stared right back at me, sighing I set her down and covered her with a plant that wouldn't give her away. 

"I'll be right back...everything is going to be okay." I pressed a kiss softly on her forehead and left running towards both of them making sure to crouch down so he wouldn't be able to see coming from behind. The blonde guy made eye contact with me but never said anything, as soon as I had a good opening I grabbed him by his neck trying to make him pass out. He moved his chin down and stepped to the side as he grabbed my forearm trying to escape. I tried tightening it harder to make him stay in place, his left arm then moved back and hurt my leg before his elbow hit my neck directly making me stagger back. 

Right on that second, he immediately threw himself at me with full force making the both of us crash through the glass windows. I groaned feeling the impact affecting my back, his hands were then around my neck trying to choke me. His grip was too strong for me to try and take them off of me. Steve then came up took his off of me, I began coughing not being able to breathe. "Get out of here!" he exclaimed standing in front of me as he tried to defend himself. 

"I-" the coughing was making it worse for me throat, "I-I can't! Y-You need help!" the metal arm man picked up his gun and began shooting again, Steve picked up his shield and used it to protect both of us from the gunshots. "Why are you here?!" he exclaimed, "I was just in the mall...then he showed up out of nowhere and began to target me!" I yelled as the gunshots grew louder. There was a look in his face that was quite unexplainable, the girl from earlier then came over to us both and she took me away from Steve.  

"Ler's go!" she exclaimed taking my forearm as she ran pulling me with her, my eyes immediately went to over where Maria was. "Wait!" I headed into a different direction, "What are you doing?!" I didn't listen I kept going rushing to her risking it everything to make sure she was safe. The man followed my movements and retreated from Steve before going over to me, she was still safe and sound. Her eyes grew wide with a soft smile, "I'm here baby girl." carefully I picked her up in my arms and carried her. 

"You have a daughter?" she asked, "This is going to be more complicated than I thought." The loud sound of footsteps landed was heard, I pulled her close to my chest his eyes were focused on me and Maria. I had a gut feeling, something was about to happen. I tried to look brave but I was afraid that she would be in danger, Jennifer was gone and I wasn't going to lose my daughter. Nat and their friend came in at the right moment, they tried so many things to keep him down. I took the opportunity and ran away, all the moments I've lived from before began to come back to me. From the relationship that Tony, I had, to find out I had a daughter...and wishing to have gotten more time to fix things. 

I was alone in this world now. 

The doors then opened and a women came running over to us, "Come with me!" she exclaimed, I looked down seeing them fight against him. A feeling of regret began to wash over me, feeling guilty of leaving them behind but my daughter was the number one priority right now. I followed my instincts and went with her the only thing that could be heard were the sounds of glass shattering and the sound of bodies being thrown onto the ground. 

Moondust on the Titanic ‖ Chapter 2

Fandom: Servamp Pairings: KuroMahi, LawLicht (side) Characters: Kuro, Mahiru, Hyde, Licht, Tsurugi

Summary: Mahiru meets Kuro on the ship of dreams, the Titanic. (Titanic AU, Fem Mahiru) This AU is actually something I discussed with @damucochan. It turned out way longer than I thought it would so i split it up into parts.

Ch.1 // (Ch.2) // Ch.3 // Ch.4

Kuro felt the sun beaming on his face as he sat on a bench. The deck for third class was crowded but he found a lonely bench. He stared at the ocean that stretched for miles. His sketchbook sat on his lap but he was struggling to find something to draw. Brown eyes played on his mind and he thought of Mahiru. She had an expressive face. He pictured the smile she had as she talked with Licht and the longing she had last night. Kuro wondered what caused the loneliness he saw.

He turned his focus back to his sketchbook and reminded himself that it was best not to pry in her life. It was unlikely they would meet again after the dinner party. They lived in two different worlds, after all. He picked up his pencil and started to sketch a white cat. Kuro didn’t have much but he wanted to provide for his family with the skills he did have.

The light changed and Kuro looked up from his sketchbook. Mahiru stood before him with a sunny smile. He was surprised to see her in third class. She nodded towards the empty spot next to him and said, “May I sit and talk? I want to thank you again for last night. But, if you’re working, I don’t want to be a bother. I can come back later.”

“I don’t really have command over where people sit.” He shrugged. Kuro shifted on the bench to make more room for her and the silent invitation made her face beam. She didn’t hesitate to sit next to him. He patted his pocket where he kept the gloves she sent him last night. “Thanks for the gloves. You didn’t need to buy them for me.”

“It was my pleasure. I should apologize for my family’s behaviour. It was rude and unnecessary when you’ve done nothing wrong. I caused you a lot of trouble and you had to lie on my behalf too.” She bowed her head slightly. “Thank you for listening to me last night. Do the gloves fit you, Kuro?”

“They’re a perfect fit.” He slipped on the gloves to show her. She smiled when she saw him wear the gift she bought him. He had to note, “Your family allowed you to go into third class alone? If my sister was attacked, I would have someone escort her for her protection. Then again, Wrath is strong and she doesn’t need us to do that.”

“I sneaked away from my grandmother to talk to you.” Mahiru admitted. “My cousin is distracting her right now. I don’t know how I’ll repay her for that since my grandmother can be rather… difficult. Licht specifically told me she would only tolerate our grandmother for an hour. I’ll have to return before then. I can only imagine the fight they’ll have if I’m not there to stop them.”

“Between your controlling grandma and possessive fiancé, I’m surprise you can leave your room.” Kuro remembered the man he briefly met last night.

“That man was not my fiancé.” Mahiru was quick to correct him. He noticed how her body stiffened and her brows knit. It was clear that the man made her uncomfortable. “My grandmother is trying to pressure me into a marriage with him. I only met him yesterday and the last thing I would call him is charming. I don’t want to be his wife and be trapped in a life he chooses for me.”

“What is your dream?” It was a common question to Kuro but a rare one for Mahiru. Only four people in her life had ever asked her that: her mother, her uncle, Tsurugi and Licht. Everyone else had already decided her life for her. Mahiru worried that Kuro would laugh at her if she told him the truth. Then again, he didn’t judge her when she told him about catching moondust.

“I love art but I can’t draw or paint very well. When I visited a museum, I thought of something else I can do with my passion for art. I want to open a gallery and highlight artists. People can buy the artwork so the artist can make a living as well. Are you an artist, Kuro?” Mahiru saw him drawing earlier so she already knew the answer. “May I see what you’re sketching?”

“It’s nothing much.” Kuro insisted. She didn’t ask him again but he could see how curious she was. Her eyes begged him to show her the sketchbook even though she didn’t say a word. Did she know that she wore her emotions so openly? Her brown eyes tugged on his heart and he found himself placing his sketchbook on her lap. “People didn’t think much of them in Paris so you might not either.”

“Maybe you haven’t found your audience yet. If you’re a cartoonist, you should approach newspapers or children books for commissions.” She said as encouragement. Mahiru opened the sketchbook and she gasped softly. His art was breathtaking. The cat was half finished but she admired the small detail in the fur and the subtle shading. She was almost afraid to touch it and smudge the charcoal.

“This is beautiful, Kuro! You’re a talented artist,” Mahiru turned the page to look at his other sketches. “The lines are crisp. If you ever decide to hang this, make sure you place a light right above it so it’ll highlight your linework. For this next one, you don’t have a lot of white space. It’ll help this piece have contrast since you’re working with charcoal.”

“You’re very knowledgeable.” The compliment made Mahiru blush. He didn’t seem to notice though. She flipped through the sketchbook and suggested a few frame colours. She didn’t realize that she was leaning closer to him as they talked. Mahiru felt his breath brush over her cheek as he asked, “Is that why you’re going to America? To start your art studio?”

“I don’t know anymore.” Mahiru sighed. She wasn’t free to make her own choices. Her grandmother had strict expectations of her and she made Mahiru feel selfish whenever she argued. “I wrote to my uncle about my business plan for an art studio but all that work is going to waste now. My arranged marriage will force me to move west. Kazuma made it clear he disapproves of my goal.”

“It’s 1912. I thought arranged marriages became out of fashioned a hundred years ago.” Mahiru shrugged in response but she had a sad smile. Her expression tugged on his heart but he didn’t know what he could say to her. “Your uncle seem has an open mind since you’re able to talk to him about your studio. Maybe he can help you break the engagement.”

“Uncle Toru is one of the few people I can be myself around. He travels for work so I don’t see him often. He collects artwork. I think he’ll like yours.” She turned the page and the image made her face become red. It was a naked woman. Kuro quickly turned to another sketch that was more appropriate. Mahiru couldn’t face him when she asked, “Do you draw… portraits often?”

“I draw people with more clothes. In Paris, women would ask me to draw these for their lovers. A few didn’t pay me so I kept the sketches.” He assured her. Kuro didn’t know why he was so conscious of what she thought of him. He showed her a sketch of a chef. “This man loved to cook. His apron would have a million different stains on it by the end of the day. And this woman…”

“You have a gift, Kuro. You see these small details about people and capture it in your art.” She said after he told her about a few more portraits he had. She felt like she knew the people he drew from his art. Before she could stop herself, she whispered her thoughts. “How would you draw me, I wonder.”

“A mermaid who explores the ocean and collects moondust in her jar.” His answer made her look back to him. Their eyes met and Mahiru felt her stomach flutter. It felt like he saw the person she had to hide because of her family’s name. She wished she was free like the mermaid he described. Mahiru returned to the white cat he was drawing earlier.

“When you finish this, please show it to me. I’m certain it will turn out wonderful. Did you teach yourself how to draw or did you have someone to help you?” They talked about their lives before the Titanic and Mahiru was captivated by Kuro’s stories. His dry humour made her laugh and she found she could relax while she talked with him.

Their conversation ended all too soon for Mahiru. She heard her brother’s voice above her and she looked up. Her brother, Tsurugi, was leaning over the rail. “Mahiru, grandmother and Licht got into a debate about women performing on stage. I think you should stop them before one of them throws the other overboard. Our family has good swimmers but I doubt we’ll last long in that cold water.”

“I should’ve known an hour was too much to ask of Licht. She’s as stubborn as she is talented.” Mahiru actually admired how outspoken her cousin was. She stood and handed Kuro’s sketchbook back to him. “It was great to talk to you again, Kuro. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Even as she left, Mahiru couldn’t take her eyes off Kuro. He was handsome with the light beaming over him. The breeze played with his shaggy hair and he struggled to keep it in place. She waved to him and he did the same. She forced herself to turn away and walked to first class. Mahiru wished she could’ve had five more minutes with Kuro or listen to another of his tales.

Kuro returned to his sketchbook to make another drawing. A few coins fell onto the page and he picked them up. He was confused and he looked up to see who dropped them. He saw that Tsurugi hadn’t left yet. “Sorry, I dropped that. Can you come up here and give it back to me? Find your brother before you come up and bring him with you.”

“Troublesome.” Kuro muttered. He hoped that Tsurugi wasn’t an overprotective brother who intended to fight him for talking with Mahiru. He decided that it was best to return his money and quickly escape whatever the man had planned.

“Well, he’s not murdering us like you thought he was going to. I don’t know if this is much better.” Hyde whispered to his brother. He adjusted the tie around his neck and he tried to make it more comfortable. Tsurugi took the two back to his room and gave them each a suit to wear to the party. “This guy is weird. Who gives two strangers their clothes?”

“That’s not a kind thing to say when I’m trying to help you two. You’re going into a dinner party with sharks. They’ll tear you apart if you attend the dinner in your regular clothes.” Tsurugi came out of the walk-in closet with a suit for Kuro. He handed it to him and said, “You slouch. Remember to sit straight when you’re at the table.”

“You haven’t told us why you’re giving us your clothes and all this advice.” Kuro pointed out. Tsurugi seemed like a decent person but he had to protect Hyde. He was wary that the man would use the suits to blackmail him and his brother later. “From experience, people rarely give out of the kindness of their hearts. What do you want in return for these suits?”

“I’m giving these to you because I want to thank you. It has been a long time since I’ve seen Mahiru laugh freely. Her mother died when she was a teenager and she went to live with our grandmother in the city. Licht and I were rarely allowed to visit her because grandma didn’t want our bad behaviour to influence her.” Tsurugi sat down and glanced at the family portrait leaning against the wall. “She told me what really happened last night. You made her smile again.”

“Wait, did Licht mention me?” Hyde interrupted him with an eager smile. “Did she tell you what she thought of me when we bumped into each other?”

“Nope.” Tsurugi lied and chuckled at his reaction. “If you give me twenty dollars, I’ll tell you how to impress an angel.”

Kuro stood at the bottom of the stairs and he tried to recall everything Tsurugi told him about proper manners. The endless chatter around him made it difficult to think and he groaned to himself. He didn’t like crowds because it made him uncomfortable. His brother was already mingling with the other guests. Hyde was a talented actor so he was able to blend in easily.  

Kuro didn’t know why he felt so nervous. At first, he only intended to dine with the family so his brother would have a chance to speak with the woman he liked. He shouldn’t care about his appearance or what others thought of him. But he couldn’t deny that there were small butterflies in his stomach. A motion at the top of the stairs caught his attention and he looked towards it.

His eyes fell onto Mahiru and the world became silent around him. She captured his attention and he couldn’t look away as she floated down the stairs. The green dress she wore was simple but it complimented her well. There was a rosy glow in her cheeks when she stopped in front of him. “Good evening, Kuro. You look handsome in that suit.”

“You do too. Wait, you’re not wearing a suit. I meant to say you look beautiful in your dress.” Kuro was flustered and he stumbled over his words. She smiled softly at him and the sight helped calm him. He stood a little straighter and thought of the advice Tsurugi gave him. Gently, he took her hand and kissed her fingertips. “Your brother said I should kiss your hand.”

“Everything is going to be fine, Kuro. You only need to relax and be yourself. The others will have questions for you but I’ll help you navigate around the sharks. I have a lot of experience.” Mahiru could see that he was nervous and she wanted to reassure him. She lightly placed her hand in the crook of his arm. He felt warmth spread from her hand. “May you please escort me to dinner?”

“Your wish is my command, my lady.” They walked to the dinner table. Mahiru would occasionally point out prominent passengers to him and told him what to say to them. He didn’t know how she was able to remember so many names or navigate through the crowd. Kuro felt more comfortable with Mahiru beside him. She had a warm personality that drew him to her.

They reached the dining hall and Mahiru slipped her hand from Kuro’s arm. She was ushered to a chair between Licht and her grandmother. Mahiru was pleasantly surprised when Kuro took the time to pull out the chair for her. She beamed up at him and thanked him. Like a gentleman, Kuro bowed to her before he went to sit with his brother.

Her attention was only pulled away from Kuro when Licht poked her lightly. She leaned towards Mahiru and whispered, “Hyde looks like he’s from The Phantom of the Opera but without the mask. He’s a strange demon. He quotes Shakespeare and dresses like a gothic novel.”

“They are handsome in a suit.” Mahiru agreed and she felt a little giddy when she glanced to Kuro. A sharp pinch from her grandmother jerked her back to the small world of the dining table. She adjusted her position and laid a napkin on her lap.

In the corner of his eyes, she noticed Kuro staring at the spoons as if they were strange tools. She clicked her spoon against her plate to draw his attention to her. Mahiru pointed to the soup spoon and he gave her a thankful smile. They were able to communicate even though they didn’t exchange a word. Idle chatter circled the table but Kuro only half listened to the conversation.

Mahiru spoke to architect at the head of the table. “The Titanic is a brilliant ship, Mr. Andrews. It is truly worthy of the title ‘The Ship of Dreams’. I never imagined a ship could carry so many people. I do have a question though. While I was taking a tour of the ship, I noticed the lifeboats lining the upper deck. There were only twenty. That can’t be enough when there’s over two thousand passengers. Are there more—”

“There’s no use for lifeboats on an unsinkable ship.” Kazuma cut her off. The resignation on Mahiru’s face told Kuro that she was accustomed to his behaviour. “They already take up too much deck space.”

“Mahiru brings up a good point.” Kuro spoke for the first time at the dinner. He intended to let Hyde answer most of the questions about them. Yet, he had to defend Mahiru when Kazuma tried to brush her worry aside. “Mr. Andrews, can you tell us more about the ship you designed?”

“You needn’t worry about anything, Mahiru. The Titanic has state of the art safety features. The only thing you need to focus on is finding a husband.” The conversation turned to the first class accommodations. Kuro returned to his food and cut his steak. He didn’t think he would join the conversation again. Hyde told the table about his plan to become a famous actor.

“Do you have the same dream of fame, Kuro?” Mahiru drew him back into the conversation with her enchanting voice. She turned to Tsurugi and told him, “Kuro is a wonderful artist. I had the pleasure of seeing a few of the work this afternoon. I’m sure you will make a big splash in America.”

“I like art but fame isn’t what I’m after. My dream is simple. I want to sell my art and give my family a long, happy life. Once Hyde and I make enough money, we will bring our siblings to America.” Kuro told her. She thought his dream reflected how kind he was. “You can never know what the next day will bring. There’s a lot of things we don’t have control over. The only thing I can do is pursue that dream for my family.”

“You’re a good man, Kuro.” Mahiru raised her glass towards him to make a toast. “To pursuing our dreams.”

“That was a wonderful dinner, Angel Cakes. Thank you for inviting us. I have to go but I hope I get to see you later.” Hyde lifted Licht’s hand to his lips. He had a secretive smile as he stepped back from her. The dinner was over and they had to leave the first class dining hall. Everyone started to go their separate ways and return to their cabins for the night.

Mahiru started to stand as well but she noticed Licht unfold a note. She guessed that Hyde had slipped it to her when he kissed her hand. She wondered what it could say to make Licht grin so wide. Licht jumped to her feet and grabbed Mahiru’s arm. She took Tsurugi’s arm as well and pulled him towards the door. The three huddled close together as they walked so Licht could show them a note.

“We’re invited to a party where we can actually dance. Let’s go.” On the secret note was a small map with directions to the lower deck. Licht followed the directions and lead them out of first class. They made their way down the hall and climbed down the stairs to third class. Mahiru could already hear music drifting through the hall.

Ahead of them, Hyde was standing at the entrance to the third class’s lobby. There was a twinkle in his eyes when he opened the door for them. “I’m glad you found your way here safely, Angel Cakes.”

“I was promised a real party. You have best deliver, Demon.” Licht’s voice was a subtle challenge that Hyde was all too eager to accept.  

Mahiru peered into the room and saw that the passengers were dancing, drinking and laughing. She pushed aside any lingering uncertainty and entered the lobby with her family. The atmosphere was merry and everyone seemed to be having fun. Despite how crowded it was, Mahiru spotted Kuro sitting at a table and she approached him.  

Kuro must’ve been surprised to see her because he almost dropped his drink when she tapped his shoulder. She quickly caught the drink before it could hit the ground. Unfortunately, the water he was drinking spilled onto her lap. Mahiru apologized and took out a napkin to dab against the stain. “I’m sorry for surprising you, Kuro. Did Hyde not tell you he planned to invite us?”

“No. My brother’s unpredictable so he likely thought to invite you three last minute.” The music was loud so they had to yell so the other could hear them. Kuro gently took her hand and told her, “You don’t need to do that, Mahiru. I can dry myself.”

“Oh!” She blushed when she realized that she had been rubbing the napkin against his leg. She handed the cloth to him and she was glad he didn’t comment on it further.  

There wasn’t a free chair so Kuro stood and offered her the seat he was using. She sat down and looked around the room. Her eyes fell onto Kuro and she saw that he had taken off his suit jacket and tie. While he was handsome in the suit, she thought he looked best when he was relaxed. She tugged on his sleeve and then patted the chair. “There’s enough room for both of us. Sit, Kuro.”

“Hey, Kuro,” Tsurugi called his name at the same time Mahiru did. “I’m going to play poker with those gentlemen. Take care of my sister while I’m gone.”

“Don’t get too greedy, Tsurugi.” Mahiru called after him and laughed. She turned back to Kuro and gestured for him to sit next to her. He shook his head and leaned against the table. She turned back to the party and watched the passengers dance. She swayed in time with the music and clapped happily. “Everyone is lively here. I didn’t think you would join such a party, Kuro. You seem like an introvert.”

“I prefer a quiet night over this party. Hyde said he wanted to go to this party and I came to keep him out of trouble. If he gets drunk, it’s my job to help him back to our cabin. He’s so troublesome. But he’s my little brother.” He would jokingly complain but he loved his brother and wanted to see him happy. Kuro watched his brother dance with Licht. “They seem to be having fun.”

“Would you like to dance too?” Mahiru asked him and stood. Once again, her vibrant eyes compelled him to agree. She led him to the center of the room and faced him. She held both of his hands in hers and swung them between their bodies. Though she was the one who asked him to dance, she had to admit, “I’m not familiar with this style of dance.”

“I think this is closer to drunkenly spinning rather than an actual style.” His observation made Mahiru relax into laughter. She didn’t need to worry about the proper steps of a dance.  

Kuro lifted her hand above her head and turned her in a circle. They came together again and he wrapped one arm around her waist. She was surprised by how strong his arms were because Kuro was an artist. Yet, they were also light and gentle as he led her through the dance. Together, they circled the room with little care for the rhythm or steps.

Mahiru couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun dancing. They accidentally bump into another dancer and Kuro held her closer. Mahiru smiled up at him and they continued to dance freely. Time flew by as the song sped up. They spun in a circle until they were both dizzy but neither of them minded. She placed her hand on his shoulder to keep her balance.

“That was fun.” She said when the song drifted to a close. She laughed and her face brightened as she smiled up at him. Mahiru was still a little lightheaded so she leaned against Kuro. He helped her to where her brother was playing cards. Tsurugi handed her a drink and Mahiru took a sip.

On the other hand, Licht chugged the beer and slammed it on the table. She smirked at Hyde who couldn’t hide his shock. “You big, burly men think a first class lady can’t drink. Let’s show them what we can do, Mahiru! Twenty fouettes! Someone give me a piano.”

“I think you’re drunk, Licht! I’m not dressed for ballet either.” Mahiru told her but she merely waved away her worry. She was never able to handle her drink well. Licht hooked her arm around Mahiru’s and took her to a large table in the center of the room. She urged Mahiru onto it. Then she stumbled to the band and forced the man playing the piano out of his seat.

Even as Licht started to play the ballet song, Mahiru was hesitant to dance by herself. She noticed Kuro move to stand next to the table. He held out his hand to her and told her, “You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to. I’ll help you down.”

“I love to dance. Will you stay there and catch me if I fall though?” He nodded at her request and she stood in the middle of the table. Mahiru’s long dress was loose enough for her to make the turn without her worrying that it would fly upwards. She made a few fouette turns in a row and she spun faster as Licht’s song sped up.

Kuro didn’t know much about ballet but he could see the control Mahiru had as she turned. She made it appear effortless though. Mahiru held him captivated. He noticed the moment she started to stumble. She tried to stop gracefully but the combination of beer and her dizziness made it difficult. Mahiru’s foot slipped on the table but Kuro was there to catch her.

She fell against his chest and felt his strong arms wrap around her. He looked down worriedly at her but she cupped his face. “That was fun. I haven’t danced like that since I was a little girl.”

“Do you want to dance again?” He asked and she eagerly nodded.

Walking Dead Game FanFiction - "Coming Out"

When The Lights Flicker Out Tonight (SL with @DayDividesNight)

Myrick: -Things had been hectic in the few days since I’d given Cay the keys to the condo I’d bought her. We’d been putting things in boxes and suitcases from both the apartment and the townhouse. The few things we’d left behind there had been easily boxed up in an evening and carried off to the new house by the movers this morning. They were coming to pick up a few things from this place and carry them off now. In fact, they were on their way up the stairs at this very moment if the text message I’d gotten from Cay was accurate.

She still hadn’t seen the new place. She’d wanted it to be a surprise. I’d bought it and had it furnished before I’d even given her the keys. There was no way we were going to be able to fill it up with the things from this small place, and even if we had been, we were still going to need the apartment above the shop for a place to sleep on the nights when shipments were coming in. It wouldn’t be often, maybe once a week, but it was frequent enough that this place needed to stay more or less intact.

I let the movers in and showed them the handful of boxes of personal things that needed to go downstair and be carted off to the new place before I hit the stairs and walked down to pull my Baby Love into my arms and plant a soft kiss on her forehead. I needed this for her. I wanted her to know how much I loved her, and how much I wanted her to feel safe and secure in the new apartment. It was the one thing we needed more than anything, security-

So, Baby Love, you ready to go see our new home? Because as soon as these guys get the boxes downstairs, it’s going to be more or less ready for you. At least as ready as it’s going to get before we unpack and make it really our own.

Cay: ^It was still insanely weird to think I was the owner of a condo in Hell’s Kitchen. And more importantly, I was terrified that this was a gift from Daddy. He wanted me to have someplace to call my own in case anything happened between the two of us. And I wasn’t entirely sure how to handle that. I continued to wonder if he was creating a way out for him. That wasn’t a thought I could handle.

Cass had been understanding of opening the shop a few hours later today just to give the movers a chance to move the boxes out of the apartment. We had both agreed that the apartment was good for the nights we had shipments coming in. So, we’d keep it furnished. At least until we had to give it up.

I hadn’t been back to the townhouse since I had my nightmare. Daddy had understood completely that we both needed the fresh start, and he had done everything in his power to make it happen as fast as possible. I wasn’t sure what was coming from there, if anything. There was really only one thing I was concerned with when we finally settled in. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask the question.

As easily as we had settled into our Daddy/Baby Love relationship, the one thing we hadn’t actually done was go into a playroom. Part of that was because we didn’t have a playroom we both felt comfortable being in. We both knew the truth behind the playhouse in the townhouse. And the shop wasn’t big enough to have a playroom. But I hadn’t seen any orders come in through the shop for anything with a playroom. And that scared me.

As soon as the last mover had the last box in his hands, I turned my attention to the man standing next to me. He cherished me enough to put every one of my needs ahead of his, and there were times I didn’t know how to repay him. But I knew the truth. I was never going to have to repay him. Because this was something that made him happy. He loved taking care of me.^ I already am home, Daddy. I don’t think you realize that. You are my home. But am I ready to go to the condo? Yes, I am. And I think Leo is ready to go there, too.

Myrick: -I couldn’t help but to tug her closer with a soft chuckle when she called me her home. I didn’t know if she understood what that meant to me. For a long time, even home hadn’t been home for me. It had been hard for me to find a place to fit into the world I found myself in. Growing up, I was never quite what my parents expected or what fit into their lives. Never mind the fact that I was raised by staff more than parents.

Then I was a teenager, and it was time to decide what to do with my life. The doodles that kept me out of their hair when I was twelve were now a waste of time when I should have been taking Latin and Economics to prepare for a trip into college to earn an MBA or a law degree, preferably the latter. And then, I decided to major in art. That was the point at which I became a complete and total write off. My older brother, Bradley, was slowly but surely taking over my father’s spot at the family law firm by now, and my sister, Emily, was in the middle of earning a law degree of her own. Funny thing was, I was pretty sure the two of them were in it for very different reasons. Bradley saw the money making potential in all of it. He saw a ready made spot as a partner in a law firm that had been in our family for generations, and all the trappings that came with it. Emily was something else. If she could ever manage to stop taking pro-bono cases she might actually be successful at it, but something told me she wasn’t going to be able to.

And then there was me, living in an apartment above a sex shop in the city, and planning to move into a Hell’s Kitchen condo with a nineteen year old girl who was pregnant while I drew illustrations for children’s books and graphic novels. I was the wild card in the family. And I wouldn’t have changed a second of it, no matter how much it alienated me from the place I grew up. I’d never belonged there anyway. It wasn’t who I was, and Connecticut seemed a million miles and a thousand years away from here right this moment.

Leaning down to steal another kiss off her forehead as I reluctantly released her and fished around in my pocket for the keys to lock everything up before we headed out of the place- Then let’s go. We have a new dwelling to move our home into. -laughing softly as I grabbed Leo’s leash and hooked it into his collar to guide him out onto the sidewalk and let Cay out behind me-

Cay: ^I was glad Cass was around today. I could have stayed at the shop. I could have ran things while Daddy got the house set up. He could have gotten Leo settled into the place before introducing me to it. But I needed to be with him. I needed the three of us to start this journey together.

I could only laugh as Leo got settled in the backseat of the car. But it was the soft kiss to my temple afterwards that had me scurrying into the car. Things were going to be a little bit different now that we were in our own place. We had the chance to set up our own space. It was what we needed. It was ours. Even if Daddy had given it to me as a present. I was always going to think of it as ours.

And there were more than a few rooms I was excited to set up. I had left the bedroom up to Daddy to decorate. I wanted a space for both of us, and Leo. Because I knew that Leo was going to be with us at night. He always had been. Well, at least, Leo had always been with me. Before I came into the picture, I could only assume that he spent the night with Daddy.

I wanted to get started on the nursery. I wanted to make a safe space for the baby. It needed to be a space full of sweet dreams and comfort. I already knew some of the things I wanted in there. And I knew Daddy would absolutely make it happen.

Then there was the one room I was terrified of. The Playroom was not something to underestimate. And considering Daddy had never set up his own, I was terrified of putting it together. I didn’t know what was going to be needed, but I knew I was going to be responsible for ordering everything. It wasn’t even something I was sure he wanted. I could hear the twinge of fear in my voice as we started the drive to Hell’s Kitchen.^ What do we need to order for the playroom?

Myrick: -A playroom was something I hadn’t considered, even when I was buying this new place. I did think that Cay would need a space to call her own, which was why I picked a place with three bedrooms instead of just two.  I’d never had what the typical Dom would have called a playroom. I didn’t have or need most of the implements that many of them used. It wasn’t something that particularly appealed to me. If I spanked my Baby Love then I used my hand. Mostly what I figured the two of us needed was a space where Cay felt safe to be Little.

I could hear how nervous she was even asking. I hadn’t brought it up before, and she didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to put all of this on her, but in the same token I wanted it to be her space. Reaching out to run my fingers along the back of her hand, I carefully considered my words. I didn’t want to sound like I was brushing her off, and I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t care about this. It was important to me if it was important to her.-

Baby Love, I don’t have to have a playroom. I wanted you to make the extra bedroom your space to decorate and outfit like you wanted it. Whatever you wanted. It’s your room, not mine. But we can do it together. I’m here to help you with whatever you want.

Cay: ^This whole thing was still new to me. I had only been in New York for almost two years. I had only been trained as a sub for maybe a year and a half. I had been running the shop for a year. And I had been in a relationship with Daddy for maybe six months. I still wasn’t entirely sure how to be a little some days. I just knew that I wanted to be with the man sitting next to me.

I wasn’t sure how to understand the idea of not having a playroom. But I needed to think everything through. There was still a lot I needed to consider. I didn’t even begin to understand what my own space should be.

I could feel my breathing pick up a little as I thought about what this meant. But there were a million and one answers to the question in my head. Part of it could have been that it was just too close to the arrival of the baby. Maybe Daddy didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t know. I didn’t know if he simply didn’t want to put me in a playroom.

I knew I needed to bring up the idea of it. I needed a reason about why he didn’t want to put a playroom in. The one thing I couldn’t do was dwell on it. I would only cause problems for myself if I kept going down a road of why.

My eyes focused on my hands as I tried to gather the courage to ask why. I mean, logistically, we were in this space 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We didn’t need a playroom for it. But I was scared of what it meant. I was scared of the road we were walking down. I was scared of what it meant.^ So why no playroom?

Myrick: -She was nervous, and nothing I was saying was helping. Internally, I kicked myself for letting things go this long without talking to her. Here we were months later, and I’d never actually discussed how all of this was going to work with her. We’d been through a lot in the past few months, and a could make the excuse that it hadn’t crossed my mind. But it would just be an excuse.

I wasn’t certain I’d ever had this conversation with anyone. I wasn’t certain of how to have it, and I was terrified of a whole slew of things. But she needed to know. She needed to have the opportunity to decide if this was right for her or not.-

I know we haven’t done much in the way of anything Daddy and LIttle since we started all of this. I guess I owe you an apology there. I just…

-I didn’t know how to tell her things other than to just spit them out. This was what it was, and I’d spent a long time wrapping my head around the way things were, and how I felt about all of them.-

We had everything going on before we found out you were pregnant, and then you were pregnant, and I just didn’t know how you felt about anything. I didn’t know what was safe. I’m terrified I don’t know enough about any of this. I’ve only ever even tried this with one person before you. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby. I don’t think it’s safe of me to choke you or spank you or tie you up. And I don’t need a special room to do it in. When I know that I can without putting you or the baby in danger, I’m perfectly fine with doing all of that in our own bedroom. I’ve been scared and nervous, and not at all certain of what you wanted, so I focused on what I knew how to do. I’ve been trying to take care of you and the baby the best I know.

Cay: ^I could only nod my head. This was the first time I had ever had a Daddy, and the truth was I didn’t think it would work if it was anyone other than him. But we were both in a unique situation. This was the first time I had ever felt comfortable in this title.

I shouldn’t have been surprised that Daddy didn’t want a playroom. He was right. Everything we could do was fine to do in our room. Or was it going to be just his room now that he was giving me my own space. It was a lot to take in, though. And there was a lot to talk about. But this was a step in the right direction. We needed to try to not take things for granted.^

Choking me is safe. As long as you don’t completely cut off my air supply. As long as you don’t make me pass out. You choking me is like me holding my breath. It’s safe until we cross a line that’s too far. And unless you’re too wrapped up in you, you’re not going to go too far. It’s why you haven’t tried it.

^The thing I wanted to address the most was the spankings. I wasn’t the kind of little that was a brat. I didn’t throw tantrums to try and get my way. I understood the need for Daddy’s control. It was to make me better. For us to be better. But we were going into a whole new place. Rules were going to be different. Things in general were going to be different.^

I’m not showing. And the likelihood of me showing for another month or two is low. It’s my first pregnancy. I’ll pop around 6 to 7 months. You can still put me over your knee and spank me, Daddy. It’s not going to harm the baby. Sex isn’t going to harm the baby. None of what we do is going to hurt the baby. I understand we’re going to have new rules in play because of him, but I think we need to get all of the new rules out on the table. We need to know what to expect of each other in our home. The last thing we need to do is second guess each other.

Myrick: -Intrinsically, I knew what she was saying was right. I wasn’t going to do harm to her or the baby if I kept myself in control. I was scared anyway, but I’d let the fact that I was terrified get in the way of me talking to her about all of this. I wasn’t certain I wanted to know the things that ran through her head when I didn’t talk to her. I had a habit of assuming the worst when we didn’t talk, even when I kept it to myself.

She mentioned new rules. I wasn’t even certain we’d solidified our rules to begin with. Getting everything out on the table and sorted out before we tried anything was the best course of action.- I know we need to get everything worked out. We should have months ago, but I’ve been avoiding the discussion. I barely feel experienced enough to be your Daddy without worrying about you being pregnant. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.

He… -I’d gone through about half of what I was going to say before I realized she’d called the baby “he.” I wasn’t sure if it was just a guess on her part, or if she had some kind of knowledge about the situation I didn’t. As far as I’d known, I’d been to every doctor’s visit with her, and I still had no idea what the sex of the baby was going to be- Did you say he? So are you trying to tell me something here, Baby Love?

Cay: ^My lips broke out into a smile as he asked if I was trying to tell him something. And, of course I was. There was a lot going on in his life, and I didn’t want to be a bother. I knew that if I had to step out of the store, Cass could handle it. And if Cass wasn’t around, Mellie was. And that was how I had gotten in and out of the doctor’s office.^ You had a meeting with the book people. Or was it the house.

^I couldn’t stop the giggle that slipped from my lips as I ducked my head and smiled. Daddy needed this. It was time for me to give him something. It was time for us to be equals in our relationship.^ You forgot I had an appointment when you scheduled your meeting. I didn’t want to come between you and work, so I went alone. Cass watched over the shop while Mellie was responsible for inventory. The baby is a he. And I’ve been toying with names. But we can talk about that later.

^Turning my head, I let my eyes focus on Daddy’s profile. He was intent on the road, but there was an amazed look on his face. He didn’t know what to think, but I knew we needed to get back on track. We needed to talk about rules and preferences.^ It has been a long few months for us. We haven’t had time to catch our breath since we got together. And we’ve both been running away from the discussion that needs to happen. And it’s brought us nothing but pain. But maybe this is the time we need to do it. With our fresh start, we start everything over. Including our relationship as Daddy and Baby Love.

Myrick: -I found myself kicking myself subconsciously again, having forgotten that Cay had an appointment wasn’t something I liked hearing, even though I’d known she got through it just fine without me. At least she had the surprise of being able to tell me that it was a boy on her own and when she wanted. I was still in a little bit of a shock over that as I made a turn to navigate towards the new condo. Names were most certainly something we could talk about later, though I couldn’t help the slight grin that spread across my face as I thought about it for the moment.

We did need to renegotiate everything at this point. Not just because of the baby, but because of everything that had happened to us. We weren’t the same couple who’d run headlong into each other on a kitchen counter over a cup of tea. We may have been the same people, but so many things had changed. A thousand of which had hit us for a loop and turned the entire situation inside out, things we never could have seen coming.

We had a new house, and a new life waiting for us. It only made sense that we had more than a few things to discuss- So, I guess the question is where do we start? I think both of us are pretty new at some of this.

Cay: We start after we get settled into the house. We have a lot going on right now. There is no doubt in my mind that we need to talk about it. But when we put too much on our plate, we start missing things. The first thing to worry about is getting the house set up. We need to have a place to bring him home to. So a nursery.

^I knew I was being the girl that wanted to have everything ready, but the truth was I needed to focus on something. The nursery was the most tangible thing. I wasn’t sure what I was walking into. I didn’t know how many rooms we had in the condo. I didn’t know the setup. But I could control the nursery. It was the only room that I was sure about.^ We get to set up a nursery for your son, Daddy.

^I wasn’t sure if I was still allowed to call him Daddy, but I was going to. Just because we didn’t have anything worked out did not mean that this wasn’t who we were. I was still his Baby Love. He was still my Daddy. It wasn’t a set of roles I was willing to give up. Not any time in the near future. I wasn’t willing to give much up. But I was willing to renegotiate where we were standing.^ You’re still my Daddy, right? Even though we still have all of this to figure out, you’re still Daddy and I’m Baby Love?

Myrick: -I had to keep my eyes focused on the road in front of me, but I needed to comfort the girl in the seat next to me just as much. No matter how much else had changed around and between the two of us, she deserved the reassurance that that was the one thing that wasn’t going to change.

I brought her hand up to my lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it. My lips lingered there for awhile before I answered her- You’re always my Baby Love, and I’m your Daddy as long as you want me. I promise. No matter what else happens.

-I gave her hand a squeeze before I continued.- You have the nursery to decorate. Our bedroom already has furniture in it, but you can change whatever you want. I hope you know that. I was just trying to make things easier on you when we moved in. I thought having a place for us to sleep would make it easier.

Cay: ^That was all I needed to hear. That he still wanted to be my Daddy. The only thing going through my head was that. I felt myself relax against the seat as Daddy kissed my hand. This was going to work itself out. One way or another. And I had hope that it would work itself out the right way.

I let out a soft laugh. As much as I wanted to set up the nursery, I didn’t want to be the only person that worked on it. The truth was that this wasn’t just my child. It was going to be Daddy’s son as well. I didn’t want the nursery design to be just mine. I wanted him to have just as much of a say as I did. My voice was almost shy as I rested my head on the headrest.^ I want him surrounded by books. Almost like a library painted on the walls. Book titles and quotes.

^I could only shake my head as I told Daddy what I wanted on the walls for the baby. I realized that I was talking to an artist. And the room was going to be perfect. Daddy wasn’t going to let it be anything but perfect. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind when I thought about that fact.^ And don’t kill yourself making it perfect, Daddy. Creating a masterpiece isn’t going to be something I expect. I mean, I’d like for you to paint the nursery. If that’s something you’re willing to do.

Myrick: -laughing softly as she started gushing about her ideas for the nursery. I was willing to let her have complete control of all of it. She could make that room whatever she wanted it to be. But I was thrilled she wanted me to be a part of it.

As far as being willing to paint the nursery, it wasn’t even something she was going to have to ask me to do. She just had to tell me what she wanted in the room, and it was going to be hers and the baby’s. Our son’s. I could only grin thinking about that.- Baby Love, I’ll paint it, happily. We can talk about what books you want and what quotes you like soon. I promise to make it perfect.

-Her warnings about not killing myself making it perfect were going to fall on deaf ears. I hoped she knew as much.-

Cay: ^I knew the truth. There was still so much to talk about. We knew what was still on the table to be discussed, but that was something for another day. Today was just worrying about what was going on at the new house. It was a matter of getting us settled. Making sure things were where they needed to be, and looking at the rooms that still needed to be touched and decorated.

But there had been progress made on the nursery. And that was my first concern. Honestly, I could live in a room that had zero to no decorations if it meant that the baby’s room could be worked on. And I didn’t want to take Daddy’s attention away from the nursery.

But as we pulled up to the condo, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of nerves. This was it. We were starting on a new path. A new place. And it was just going to be the four of us. I think that was what scared me the most. I could pretend that Mellie and Cass were part of our family if we were living above the shop. But now everything was different. Now, we were officially on our own. And I was terrified on if we could do this.

As soon as Daddy was in a parking spot, I was out of the car grabbing Leo from the back seat. Under any other circumstance, I knew I should have handed him over to Daddy. But I needed the comfort of holding onto something. And I knew that Leo wasn’t going to pull. He never had with me. It was almost as if he was just as worried about me as Daddy was.^ We’re starting a new life. This is it. We’re starting over.

Myrick: -Cay clinging to Leo’s leash brought a half smile to my lips. It was good to see the two of them had bonded. He was almost more her dog than mine these days, and I was good with that. I could see the fear in her eyes though. She didn’t know any of what was going to come of this. Neither did I, to be honest, but I had faith we would get through all of it. We were on our own now, and whatever happened, happened.

All I knew was that a part of me was going to be hers for the rest of my life, and the baby she was carrying was more than just a tangible representation of that. It was the best the two of us had to offer combined together, and the one thing that was going to tie us together probably past our own lifetimes.

I moved in closer, slipping an arm around Cay’s waist as I walked with her to the front doors of the building. The condo was on the upper floors, so a short elevator ride was the only thing standing between us and the place we were going to call home from here on out.- We are, Baby Love. Just the four of us. - the sentence brought a soft chuckle to my lips- And I know we have a lot going on, a lot to discuss, a lot of things to work out, but tonight feel free to just let all of this sink in if you need to. We don’t have to rush because we have all the time in the world.

-I liked the idea of having all the time in the world with Cay. I wanted more time than that. She made me feel a little greedy and more than a little selfish most days, though I was patient enough to share her with the world until time came to close the shop, when we could have some time with just us.

Punching the elevator buttons as the doors slid closed and left us in the tiny enclosed space, I felt my heart leap into my chest. I knew what was waiting us, especially her, at the top of the ride, but I had no idea how she was going to react to any of it. My nerves were starting to get the better of me. The building was older, and the elevator was slow. But all I could do was wait, and pull my girl closer into my side-

Cay: ^I wasn’t sure what I should have been expecting. But moving into this wasn’t it. But I should have known better. Daddy liked things with charm. The older building would inspire him in ways I wasn’t sure I was capable of. But that was good for when he needed to focus on a particular project.

I knew that I was his favorite source of inspiration, though. There was no doubt in my mind. I had a few ideas on things I wanted to do for him, but I was still entirely clueless as to how the house was set up. I didn’t know what rooms were going to be filled and what we still needed. But as we walked off the elevator, I couldn’t help the nervous giggle slip from my lips.

Leo pressed his body against me as the three of us walked down the hallway. There was barely enough room for all of us, but Leo pulled away from me to walk a few steps ahead. Daddy led us to the door, and it was like all of us stopped. As he reached forward to put the key in the door, I let my free hand move to cover his.^ Before we go inside, I want you to know that I didn’t need this to be my place. I need a place to call our home. I can do just about anything as long as you’re next to me. So, please don’t let me go. Don’t leave me here alone. Because we both know I won’t survive losing you. We need you. I’m not sure I can raise him on my own, and knowing that you bought this place for me to have so I’m not stranded if you leave terrifies me. Let’s just pretend that the place is ours.

Myrick: -Letting go of the key in the door, I threaded my fingers between hers and squeezed her hand. I hadn’t known that was how she was feeling, but I could hear the worry in what she was telling me now. I could see how terrifying it was that I was giving her all of this. I could have easily been setting her up to be on her own without me, though that was far from my intention.

I hoped that once I opened the door and showed her what was beyond, it would allay more than a few of her fears. The condo hadn’t been the only thing I’d been planning, nor had the collar. To me, this was all part of a larger scheme, a plan to make her an integral part of my life. She already was, more than she would ever know, but this was all going to make us officially a unit.

Pulling her in closer, I stole a kiss and opened the door behind me with one hand as I held her against my chest with the other.- I promise. This place is ours. It doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed. This is going to be our home. The three of us together. We’re going to be a family. And you’re not going to have to do a moment of it on your own.

-I’d left a small ring box open on the table in the entryway, and I hoped she saw it as I pulled her and Leo into the room, his leash still wrapped around her other hand.-

Cay: ^There were a million and one options for where we could go next. But the truth was that we were both in a new space. It was going to be a new relationship. A new house. A new baby. It was everything I could have dreamed of. This was where we were meant to be. There was nothing more right than this moment. I felt like I could breathe.

But it was the ring box sitting on the table as we walked into the room that made me lose my breath. The silver and purple were the first things to catch my eyes. But the details soon registered in my head. The heart and jewels were amethyst. The hands were silver. It was similar to a ring I had grown up admiring. My mother’s own wedding band was a claddagh, and traditionally, mothers passed them onto their daughters. I had given up on that hope when I was sixteen.

I felt my eyes start to prick as I looked up to my Daddy. I wasn’t sure if he understood the implications of a ring like this. It wasn’t something I had ever told him about, though. I didn’t talk to him about anything back home. There was no reason for it. It wasn’t a part of my life anymore. But that ring was a reminder of the one thing I had wanted. It was the one thing I was never going to get. But now Daddy was changing all of that.

My voice was almost a whisper as I just stared at the ring sitting on the table.^ Daddy? Why is there a claddagh sitting on the table?

Myrick: -the grin that spread across my face was unstoppable when I saw her recognize the box and register what it was. I'd done more than pick out a condo and a collar when I was out. I'd chosen a ring too. One I thought was going to mean something to her. I knew my girl was Irish, and while I was basically a mutt and mostly a descendent of the basic white people who came over on the Mayflower, I knew a couple of things. I'd always loved the claddagh. It was beautiful, even if I didn't fully get the significance of it. I understood it was about the unity between two people and that was what I wanted more than anything.

The purple stone inside was her favorite color, an amethyst, nothing fancy, but perfect. I had no way of knowing what she would tell me in response to what I was going to ask her, but it would have been wrong of me not to ask. I knew how I felt, and it was a question I needed to put into words.

I reached back, taking the ring from the box, and moving to one knee on the floor in front of her. Leo came up to me and swiped his tongue across my face once I was down on his level, drawing a laugh out of my chest as I slid the ring onto her finger- Well, I was hoping you'd do me the honor of being my wife, Baby Love. -looking hopefully up at Cay and trying to read her features for the moment as she gathered her thoughts after my statement-

Cay: ^I could only giggle softly as Leo gave Daddy kisses as he got down on one knee. But it was fitting. Leo was just as much a part of this family as the baby was. So, of course, he’d find a way to be involved. And it was in that moment that I realized what was going on. I watched as Daddy slipped the ring onto my finger, but I couldn’t help the small cringe that washed over my features.

It wasn’t that I was saying no, I wasn’t. There was no way I was going to turn this man down. But he didn’t know what he was doing. He was unsure of himself. But he wanted to do something for me. Slipping the ring from my finger, I noticed the small amount of heartbreak wash over his face.^ We’re not married yet. You put the ring on so that it symbolizes we’re married. If I were wearing it on my right hand and the heart was facing outwards, I’d be considered single. Right hand with the heart facing inwards means I’m in a relationship. Left hand inwards means we’re married. What you want is the left hand outwards. It symbolizes our engagement.

^I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I flipped the ring to it’s proper position. This was more than perfect. It was everything we needed. It was who we were as a couple.^ The claddagh symbolizes Love, Loyalty, and Friendship. The heart, the crown, and the hands. “With these hands, I give you my heart and crown it with my love.” It’s a quote many a little Irish girl wishes to hear from her mother. Most mothers pass down their claddaghs to their daughter. I gave up on hearing that phrase from her when I was sixteen.

^I could feel myself getting a bit more emotional as I tried to keep everything together. It wasn’t working that well, and I could only let out a soft laugh.^ Of course, you wouldn’t understand why this ring is perfect for us. You wouldn’t begin to understand why I’ve always wanted one. But you’re my Daddy. And somewhere inside of you, you always know what I want. And you’ll always bend over backwards to give me exactly what I need. And what I need is you. So if you couldn’t tell by me switching my ring to the proper position, the answer is yes. I will absolutely marry you. Because I can’t imagine my life with anyone else.

Myrick: -I tried not to let my face fall when she took the ring off, but it only took a moment for me to realize what she was trying to tell me. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing here. I had no way of knowing what the ring meant to her, or how to properly place it on her finger. But she was telling me yes. That much was abundantly clear.

The happiness that spread through me at the reply was more than I knew how to express. There weren’t going to be any words I had to explain how that reply made me feel. It was what I’d wanted, but more than I felt like I should ever deserve.

Love, Loyalty and Friendship… That was perfect. I’d stumbled on the very thing all this was for me by accident. Cay was the best friend I’d ever had, probably my entire life. Love, that was a given. And I’d have been loyal to her for the rest of my life if it was what she wanted. One ring, that I hadn’t completely understood, had summed it all up without a single word.

I stood up, pulling her into my arms without unlinking my hand from hers and pressing my lips against her-

Cay: ^There wasn’t much I could say or do as Daddy pulled me into his arms. All I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and let myself feel. There were a million and one emotions going through me, though. Part of me couldn’t begin to understand why this man thought I was good enough to be his. It was a thought I struggled with on a daily basis.

Another part of me thought that this was right. This was where I was supposed to be. This was my home. Not the condo that had been given to me as a gift. My home was the man who had me in his arms and was kissing me to death. I let my fingers curl into the dark strands and was granted with the deep growl I had come to expect. It was a sound that I loved.

There was still so much to work on. There were still a few rooms in the house that needed to be decorated. But there was truly nothing but time. I’d be given all the time in the world if I asked for it. But it wasn’t something I wanted. I wanted to be here, in this moment, for the rest of time. And knowing that I had a Daddy that loved to spoil me ensured that it was a feeling I could recreate any time I wanted.^

#WhenTheLightsFlickerOutTonight

When The Lights Flicker Out Tonight (SL With @SinfulMyrick)

Myrick: -Things had been hectic in the few days since I’d given Cay the keys to the condo I’d bought her. We’d been putting things in boxes and suitcases from both the apartment and the townhouse. The few things we’d left behind there had been easily boxed up in an evening and carried off to the new house by the movers this morning. They were coming to pick up a few things from this place and carry them off now. In fact, they were on their way up the stairs at this very moment if the text message I’d gotten from Cay was accurate. She still hadn’t seen the new place. She’d wanted it to be a surprise. I’d bought it and had it furnished before I’d even given her the keys. There was no way we were going to be able to fill it up with the things from this small place, and even if we had been, we were still going to need the apartment above the shop for a place to sleep on the nights when shipments were coming in. It wouldn’t be often, maybe once a week, but it was frequent enough that this place needed to stay more or less intact. I let the movers in and showed them the handful of boxes of personal things that needed to go downstair and be carted off to the new place before I hit the stairs and walked down to pull my Baby Love into my arms and plant a soft kiss on her forehead. I needed this for her. I wanted her to know how much I loved her, and how much I wanted her to feel safe and secure in the new apartment. It was the one thing we needed more than anything, security- So, Baby Love, you ready to go see our new home? Because as soon as these guys get the boxes downstairs, it’s going to be more or less ready for you. At least as ready as it’s going to get before we unpack and make it really our own. Cay: ^It was still insanely weird to think I was the owner of a condo in Hell’s Kitchen. And more importantly, I was terrified that this was a gift from Daddy. He wanted me to have someplace to call my own in case anything happened between the two of us. And I wasn’t entirely sure how to handle that. I continued to wonder if he was creating a way out for him. That wasn’t a thought I could handle. Cass had been understanding of opening the shop a few hours later today just to give the movers a chance to move the boxes out of the apartment. We had both agreed that the apartment was good for the nights we had shipments coming in. So, we’d keep it furnished. At least until we had to give it up. I hadn’t been back to the townhouse since I had my nightmare. Daddy had understood completely that we both needed the fresh start, and he had done everything in his power to make it happen as fast as possible. I wasn’t sure what was coming from there, if anything. There was really only one thing I was concerned with when we finally settled in. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask the question. As easily as we had settled into our Daddy/Baby Love relationship, the one thing we hadn’t actually done was go into a playroom. Part of that was because we didn’t have a playroom we both felt comfortable being in. We both knew the truth behind the playhouse in the townhouse. And the shop wasn’t big enough to have a playroom. But I hadn’t seen any orders come in through the shop for anything with a playroom. And that scared me. As soon as the last mover had the last box in his hands, I turned my attention to the man standing next to me. He cherished me enough to put every one of my needs ahead of his, and there were times I didn’t know how to repay him. But I knew the truth. I was never going to have to repay him. Because this was something that made him happy. He loved taking care of me.^ I already am home, Daddy. I don’t think you realize that. You are my home. But am I ready to go to the condo? Yes, I am. And I think Leo is ready to go there, too. Myrick: -I couldn’t help but to tug her closer with a soft chuckle when she called me her home. I didn’t know if she understood what that meant to me. For a long time, even home hadn’t been home for me. It had been hard for me to find a place to fit into the world I found myself in. Growing up, I was never quite what my parents expected or what fit into their lives. Never mind the fact that I was raised by staff more than parents. Then I was a teenager, and it was time to decide what to do with my life. The doodles that kept me out of their hair when I was twelve were now a waste of time when I should have been taking Latin and Economics to prepare for a trip into college to earn an MBA or a law degree, preferably the latter. And then, I decided to major in art. That was the point at which I became a complete and total write off. My older brother, Bradley, was slowly but surely taking over my father’s spot at the family law firm by now, and my sister, Emily, was in the middle of earning a law degree of her own. Funny thing was, I was pretty sure the two of them were in it for very different reasons. Bradley saw the money making potential in all of it. He saw a ready made spot as a partner in a law firm that had been in our family for generations, and all the trappings that came with it. Emily was something else. If she could ever manage to stop taking pro-bono cases she might actually be successful at it, but something told me she wasn’t going to be able to. And then there was me, living in an apartment above a sex shop in the city, and planning to move into a Hell’s Kitchen condo with a nineteen year old girl who was pregnant while I drew illustrations for children’s books and graphic novels. I was the wild card in the family. And I wouldn’t have changed a second of it, no matter how much it alienated me from the place I grew up. I’d never belonged there anyway. It wasn’t who I was, and Connecticut seemed a million miles and a thousand years away from here right this moment. Leaning down to steal another kiss off her forehead as I reluctantly released her and fished around in my pocket for the keys to lock everything up before we headed out of the place- Then let’s go. We have a new dwelling to move our home into. -laughing softly as I grabbed Leo’s leash and hooked it into his collar to guide him out onto the sidewalk and let Cay out behind me- Cay: ^I was glad Cass was around today. I could have stayed at the shop. I could have ran things while Daddy got the house set up. He could have gotten Leo settled into the place before introducing me to it. But I needed to be with him. I needed the three of us to start this journey together. I could only laugh as Leo got settled in the backseat of the car. But it was the soft kiss to my temple afterwards that had me scurrying into the car. Things were going to be a little bit different now that we were in our own place. We had the chance to set up our own space. It was what we needed. It was ours. Even if Daddy had given it to me as a present. I was always going to think of it as ours. And there were more than a few rooms I was excited to set up. I had left the bedroom up to Daddy to decorate. I wanted a space for both of us, and Leo. Because I knew that Leo was going to be with us at night. He always had been. Well, at least, Leo had always been with me. Before I came into the picture, I could only assume that he spent the night with Daddy. I wanted to get started on the nursery. I wanted to make a safe space for the baby. It needed to be a space full of sweet dreams and comfort. I already knew some of the things I wanted in there. And I knew Daddy would absolutely make it happen. Then there was the one room I was terrified of. The Playroom was not something to underestimate. And considering Daddy had never set up his own, I was terrified of putting it together. I didn’t know what was going to be needed, but I knew I was going to be responsible for ordering everything. It wasn’t even something I was sure he wanted. I could hear the twinge of fear in my voice as we started the drive to Hell’s Kitchen.^ What do we need to order for the playroom? Myrick: -A playroom was something I hadn’t considered, even when I was buying this new place. I did think that Cay would need a space to call her own, which was why I picked a place with three bedrooms instead of just two. I’d never had what the typical Dom would have called a playroom. I didn’t have or need most of the implements that many of them used. It wasn’t something that particularly appealed to me. If I spanked my Baby Love then I used my hand. Mostly what I figured the two of us needed was a space where Cay felt safe to be Little. I could hear how nervous she was even asking. I hadn’t brought it up before, and she didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t want to put all of this on her, but in the same token I wanted it to be her space. Reaching out to run my fingers along the back of her hand, I carefully considered my words. I didn’t want to sound like I was brushing her off, and I didn’t want her to feel like I didn’t care about this. It was important to me if it was important to her.- Baby Love, I don’t have to have a playroom. I wanted you to make the extra bedroom your space to decorate and outfit like you wanted it. Whatever you wanted. It’s your room, not mine. But we can do it together. I’m here to help you with whatever you want. Cay: ^This whole thing was still new to me. I had only been in New York for almost two years. I had only been trained as a sub for maybe a year and a half. I had been running the shop for a year. And I had been in a relationship with Daddy for maybe six months. I still wasn’t entirely sure how to be a little some days. I just knew that I wanted to be with the man sitting next to me. I wasn’t sure how to understand the idea of not having a playroom. But I needed to think everything through. There was still a lot I needed to consider. I didn’t even begin to understand what my own space should be. I could feel my breathing pick up a little as I thought about what this meant. But there were a million and one answers to the question in my head. Part of it could have been that it was just too close to the arrival of the baby. Maybe Daddy didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t know. I didn’t know if he simply didn’t want to put me in a playroom. I knew I needed to bring up the idea of it. I needed a reason about why he didn’t want to put a playroom in. The one thing I couldn’t do was dwell on it. I would only cause problems for myself if I kept going down a road of why. My eyes focused on my hands as I tried to gather the courage to ask why. I mean, logistically, we were in this space 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We didn’t need a playroom for it. But I was scared of what it meant. I was scared of the road we were walking down. I was scared of what it meant.^ So why no playroom? Myrick: -She was nervous, and nothing I was saying was helping. Internally, I kicked myself for letting things go this long without talking to her. Here we were months later, and I’d never actually discussed how all of this was going to work with her. We’d been through a lot in the past few months, and a could make the excuse that it hadn’t crossed my mind. But it would just be an excuse. I wasn’t certain I’d ever had this conversation with anyone. I wasn’t certain of how to have it, and I was terrified of a whole slew of things. But she needed to know. She needed to have the opportunity to decide if this was right for her or not.- I know we haven’t done much in the way of anything Daddy and LIttle since we started all of this. I guess I owe you an apology there. I just… -I didn’t know how to tell her things other than to just spit them out. This was what it was, and I’d spent a long time wrapping my head around the way things were, and how I felt about all of them.- We had everything going on before we found out you were pregnant, and then you were pregnant, and I just didn’t know how you felt about anything. I didn’t know what was safe. I’m terrified I don’t know enough about any of this. I’ve only ever even tried this with one person before you. I don’t want to hurt you or the baby. I don’t think it’s safe of me to choke you or spank you or tie you up. And I don’t need a special room to do it in. When I know that I can without putting you or the baby in danger, I’m perfectly fine with doing all of that in our own bedroom. I’ve been scared and nervous, and not at all certain of what you wanted, so I focused on what I knew how to do. I’ve been trying to take care of you and the baby the best I know. Cay: ^I could only nod my head. This was the first time I had ever had a Daddy, and the truth was I didn’t think it would work if it was anyone other than him. But we were both in a unique situation. This was the first time I had ever felt comfortable in this title. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Daddy didn’t want a playroom. He was right. Everything we could do was fine to do in our room. Or was it going to be just his room now that he was giving me my own space. It was a lot to take in, though. And there was a lot to talk about. But this was a step in the right direction. We needed to try to not take things for granted.^ Choking me is safe. As long as you don’t completely cut off my air supply. As long as you don’t make me pass out. You choking me is like me holding my breath. It’s safe until we cross a line that’s too far. And unless you’re too wrapped up in you, you’re not going to go too far. It’s why you haven’t tried it. ^The thing I wanted to address the most was the spankings. I wasn’t the kind of little that was a brat. I didn’t throw tantrums to try and get my way. I understood the need for Daddy’s control. It was to make me better. For us to be better. But we were going into a whole new place. Rules were going to be different. Things in general were going to be different.^ I’m not showing. And the likelihood of me showing for another month or two is low. It’s my first pregnancy. I’ll pop around 6 to 7 months. You can still put me over your knee and spank me, Daddy. It’s not going to harm the baby. Sex isn’t going to harm the baby. None of what we do is going to hurt the baby. I understand we’re going to have new rules in play because of him, but I think we need to get all of the new rules out on the table. We need to know what to expect of each other in our home. The last thing we need to do is second guess each other. Myrick: -Intrinsically, I knew what she was saying was right. I wasn’t going to do harm to her or the baby if I kept myself in control. I was scared anyway, but I’d let the fact that I was terrified get in the way of me talking to her about all of this. I wasn’t certain I wanted to know the things that ran through her head when I didn’t talk to her. I had a habit of assuming the worst when we didn’t talk, even when I kept it to myself. She mentioned new rules. I wasn’t even certain we’d solidified our rules to begin with. Getting everything out on the table and sorted out before we tried anything was the best course of action.- I know we need to get everything worked out. We should have months ago, but I’ve been avoiding the discussion. I barely feel experienced enough to be your Daddy without worrying about you being pregnant. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. He… -I’d gone through about half of what I was going to say before I realized she’d called the baby “he.” I wasn’t sure if it was just a guess on her part, or if she had some kind of knowledge about the situation I didn’t. As far as I’d known, I’d been to every doctor’s visit with her, and I still had no idea what the sex of the baby was going to be- Did you say he? So are you trying to tell me something here, Baby Love? Cay: ^My lips broke out into a smile as he asked if I was trying to tell him something. And, of course I was. There was a lot going on in his life, and I didn’t want to be a bother. I knew that if I had to step out of the store, Cass could handle it. And if Cass wasn’t around, Mellie was. And that was how I had gotten in and out of the doctor’s office.^ You had a meeting with the book people. Or was it the house. ^I couldn’t stop the giggle that slipped from my lips as I ducked my head and smiled. Daddy needed this. It was time for me to give him something. It was time for us to be equals in our relationship.^ You forgot I had an appointment when you scheduled your meeting. I didn’t want to come between you and work, so I went alone. Cass watched over the shop while Mellie was responsible for inventory. The baby is a he. And I’ve been toying with names. But we can talk about that later. ^Turning my head, I let my eyes focus on Daddy’s profile. He was intent on the road, but there was an amazed look on his face. He didn’t know what to think, but I knew we needed to get back on track. We needed to talk about rules and preferences.^ It has been a long few months for us. We haven’t had time to catch our breath since we got together. And we’ve both been running away from the discussion that needs to happen. And it’s brought us nothing but pain. But maybe this is the time we need to do it. With our fresh start, we start everything over. Including our relationship as Daddy and Baby Love. Myrick: -I found myself kicking myself subconsciously again, having forgotten that Cay had an appointment wasn’t something I liked hearing, even though I’d known she got through it just fine without me. At least she had the surprise of being able to tell me that it was a boy on her own and when she wanted. I was still in a little bit of a shock over that as I made a turn to navigate towards the new condo. Names were most certainly something we could talk about later, though I couldn’t help the slight grin that spread across my face as I thought about it for the moment. We did need to renegotiate everything at this point. Not just because of the baby, but because of everything that had happened to us. We weren’t the same couple who’d run headlong into each other on a kitchen counter over a cup of tea. We may have been the same people, but so many things had changed. A thousand of which had hit us for a loop and turned the entire situation inside out, things we never could have seen coming. We had a new house, and a new life waiting for us. It only made sense that we had more than a few things to discuss- So, I guess the question is where do we start? I think both of us are pretty new at some of this. Cay: We start after we get settled into the house. We have a lot going on right now. There is no doubt in my mind that we need to talk about it. But when we put too much on our plate, we start missing things. The first thing to worry about is getting the house set up. We need to have a place to bring him home to. So a nursery. ^I knew I was being the girl that wanted to have everything ready, but the truth was I needed to focus on something. The nursery was the most tangible thing. I wasn’t sure what I was walking into. I didn’t know how many rooms we had in the condo. I didn’t know the setup. But I could control the nursery. It was the only room that I was sure about.^ We get to set up a nursery for your son, Daddy. ^I wasn’t sure if I was still allowed to call him Daddy, but I was going to. Just because we didn’t have anything worked out did not mean that this wasn’t who we were. I was still his Baby Love. He was still my Daddy. It wasn’t a set of roles I was willing to give up. Not any time in the near future. I wasn’t willing to give much up. But I was willing to renegotiate where we were standing.^ You’re still my Daddy, right? Even though we still have all of this to figure out, you’re still Daddy and I’m Baby Love? Myrick: -I had to keep my eyes focused on the road in front of me, but I needed to comfort the girl in the seat next to me just as much. No matter how much else had changed around and between the two of us, she deserved the reassurance that that was the one thing that wasn’t going to change. I brought her hand up to my lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it. My lips lingered there for awhile before I answered her- You’re always my Baby Love, and I’m your Daddy as long as you want me. I promise. No matter what else happens. -I gave her hand a squeeze before I continued.- You have the nursery to decorate. Our bedroom already has furniture in it, but you can change whatever you want. I hope you know that. I was just trying to make things easier on you when we moved in. I thought having a place for us to sleep would make it easier. Cay: ^That was all I needed to hear. That he still wanted to be my Daddy. The only thing going through my head was that. I felt myself relax against the seat as Daddy kissed my hand. This was going to work itself out. One way or another. And I had hope that it would work itself out the right way. I let out a soft laugh. As much as I wanted to set up the nursery, I didn’t want to be the only person that worked on it. The truth was that this wasn’t just my child. It was going to be Daddy’s son as well. I didn’t want the nursery design to be just mine. I wanted him to have just as much of a say as I did. My voice was almost shy as I rested my head on the headrest.^ I want him surrounded by books. Almost like a library painted on the walls. Book titles and quotes. ^I could only shake my head as I told Daddy what I wanted on the walls for the baby. I realized that I was talking to an artist. And the room was going to be perfect. Daddy wasn’t going to let it be anything but perfect. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind when I thought about that fact.^ And don’t kill yourself making it perfect, Daddy. Creating a masterpiece isn’t going to be something I expect. I mean, I’d like for you to paint the nursery. If that’s something you’re willing to do. Myrick: -laughing softly as she started gushing about her ideas for the nursery. I was willing to let her have complete control of all of it. She could make that room whatever she wanted it to be. But I was thrilled she wanted me to be a part of it. As far as being willing to paint the nursery, it wasn’t even something she was going to have to ask me to do. She just had to tell me what she wanted in the room, and it was going to be hers and the baby’s. Our son’s. I could only grin thinking about that.- Baby Love, I’ll paint it, happily. We can talk about what books you want and what quotes you like soon. I promise to make it perfect. -Her warnings about not killing myself making it perfect were going to fall on deaf ears. I hoped she knew as much.- Cay: ^I knew the truth. There was still so much to talk about. We knew what was still on the table to be discussed, but that was something for another day. Today was just worrying about what was going on at the new house. It was a matter of getting us settled. Making sure things were where they needed to be, and looking at the rooms that still needed to be touched and decorated. But there had been progress made on the nursery. And that was my first concern. Honestly, I could live in a room that had zero to no decorations if it meant that the baby’s room could be worked on. And I didn’t want to take Daddy’s attention away from the nursery. But as we pulled up to the condo, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of nerves. This was it. We were starting on a new path. A new place. And it was just going to be the four of us. I think that was what scared me the most. I could pretend that Mellie and Cass were part of our family if we were living above the shop. But now everything was different. Now, we were officially on our own. And I was terrified on if we could do this. As soon as Daddy was in a parking spot, I was out of the car grabbing Leo from the back seat. Under any other circumstance, I knew I should have handed him over to Daddy. But I needed the comfort of holding onto something. And I knew that Leo wasn’t going to pull. He never had with me. It was almost as if he was just as worried about me as Daddy was.^ We’re starting a new life. This is it. We’re starting over. Myrick: -Cay clinging to Leo’s leash brought a half smile to my lips. It was good to see the two of them had bonded. He was almost more her dog than mine these days, and I was good with that. I could see the fear in her eyes though. She didn’t know any of what was going to come of this. Neither did I, to be honest, but I had faith we would get through all of it. We were on our own now, and whatever happened, happened. All I knew was that a part of me was going to be hers for the rest of my life, and the baby she was carrying was more than just a tangible representation of that. It was the best the two of us had to offer combined together, and the one thing that was going to tie us together probably past our own lifetimes. I moved in closer, slipping an arm around Cay’s waist as I walked with her to the front doors of the building. The condo was on the upper floors, so a short elevator ride was the only thing standing between us and the place we were going to call home from here on out.- We are, Baby Love. Just the four of us. - the sentence brought a soft chuckle to my lips- And I know we have a lot going on, a lot to discuss, a lot of things to work out, but tonight feel free to just let all of this sink in if you need to. We don’t have to rush because we have all the time in the world. -I liked the idea of having all the time in the world with Cay. I wanted more time than that. She made me feel a little greedy and more than a little selfish most days, though I was patient enough to share her with the world until time came to close the shop, when we could have some time with just us. Punching the elevator buttons as the doors slid closed and left us in the tiny enclosed space, I felt my heart leap into my chest. I knew what was waiting us, especially her, at the top of the ride, but I had no idea how she was going to react to any of it. My nerves were starting to get the better of me. The building was older, and the elevator was slow. But all I could do was wait, and pull my girl closer into my side- Cay: ^I wasn’t sure what I should have been expecting. But moving into this wasn’t it. But I should have known better. Daddy liked things with charm. The older building would inspire him in ways I wasn’t sure I was capable of. But that was good for when he needed to focus on a particular project. I knew that I was his favorite source of inspiration, though. There was no doubt in my mind. I had a few ideas on things I wanted to do for him, but I was still entirely clueless as to how the house was set up. I didn’t know what rooms were going to be filled and what we still needed. But as we walked off the elevator, I couldn’t help the nervous giggle slip from my lips. Leo pressed his body against me as the three of us walked down the hallway. There was barely enough room for all of us, but Leo pulled away from me to walk a few steps ahead. Daddy led us to the door, and it was like all of us stopped. As he reached forward to put the key in the door, I let my free hand move to cover his.^ Before we go inside, I want you to know that I didn’t need this to be my place. I need a place to call our home. I can do just about anything as long as you’re next to me. So, please don’t let me go. Don’t leave me here alone. Because we both know I won’t survive losing you. We need you. I’m not sure I can raise him on my own, and knowing that you bought this place for me to have so I’m not stranded if you leave terrifies me. Let’s just pretend that the place is ours. Myrick: -Letting go of the key in the door, I threaded my fingers between hers and squeezed her hand. I hadn’t known that was how she was feeling, but I could hear the worry in what she was telling me now. I could see how terrifying it was that I was giving her all of this. I could have easily been setting her up to be on her own without me, though that was far from my intention. I hoped that once I opened the door and showed her what was beyond, it would allay more than a few of her fears. The condo hadn’t been the only thing I’d been planning, nor had the collar. To me, this was all part of a larger scheme, a plan to make her an integral part of my life. She already was, more than she would ever know, but this was all going to make us officially a unit. Pulling her in closer, I stole a kiss and opened the door behind me with one hand as I held her against my chest with the other.- I promise. This place is ours. It doesn’t matter whose name is on the deed. This is going to be our home. The three of us together. We’re going to be a family. And you’re not going to have to do a moment of it on your own. -I’d left a small ring box open on the table in the entryway, and I hoped she saw it as I pulled her and Leo into the room, his leash still wrapped around her other hand.- Cay: ^There were a million and one options for where we could go next. But the truth was that we were both in a new space. It was going to be a new relationship. A new house. A new baby. It was everything I could have dreamed of. This was where we were meant to be. There was nothing more right than this moment. I felt like I could breathe. But it was the ring box sitting on the table as we walked into the room that made me lose my breath. The silver and purple were the first things to catch my eyes. But the details soon registered in my head. The heart and jewels were amethyst. The hands were silver. It was similar to a ring I had grown up admiring. My mother’s own wedding band was a claddagh, and traditionally, mothers passed them onto their daughters. I had given up on that hope when I was sixteen. I felt my eyes start to prick as I looked up to my Daddy. I wasn’t sure if he understood the implications of a ring like this. It wasn’t something I had ever told him about, though. I didn’t talk to him about anything back home. There was no reason for it. It wasn’t a part of my life anymore. But that ring was a reminder of the one thing I had wanted. It was the one thing I was never going to get. But now Daddy was changing all of that. My voice was almost a whisper as I just stared at the ring sitting on the table.^ Daddy? Why is there a claddagh sitting on the table? Myrick: -the grin that spread across my face was unstoppable when I saw her recognize the box and register what it was. I'd done more than pick out a condo and a collar when I was out. I'd chosen a ring too. One I thought was going to mean something to her. I knew my girl was Irish, and while I was basically a mutt and mostly a descendent of the basic white people who came over on the Mayflower, I knew a couple of things. I'd always loved the claddagh. It was beautiful, even if I didn't fully get the significance of it. I understood it was about the unity between two people and that was what I wanted more than anything. The purple stone inside was her favorite color, an amethyst, nothing fancy, but perfect. I had no way of knowing what she would tell me in response to what I was going to ask her, but it would have been wrong of me not to ask. I knew how I felt, and it was a question I needed to put into words. I reached back, taking the ring from the box, and moving to one knee on the floor in front of her. Leo came up to me and swiped his tongue across my face once I was down on his level, drawing a laugh out of my chest as I slid the ring onto her finger- Well, I was hoping you'd do me the honor of being my wife, Baby Love. -looking hopefully up at Cay and trying to read her features for the moment as she gathered her thoughts after my statement- Cay: ^I could only giggle softly as Leo gave Daddy kisses as he got down on one knee. But it was fitting. Leo was just as much a part of this family as the baby was. So, of course, he’d find a way to be involved. And it was in that moment that I realized what was going on. I watched as Daddy slipped the ring onto my finger, but I couldn’t help the small cringe that washed over my features. It wasn’t that I was saying no, I wasn’t. There was no way I was going to turn this man down. But he didn’t know what he was doing. He was unsure of himself. But he wanted to do something for me. Slipping the ring from my finger, I noticed the small amount of heartbreak wash over his face.^ We’re not married yet. You put the ring on so that it symbolizes we’re married. If I were wearing it on my right hand and the heart was facing outwards, I’d be considered single. Right hand with the heart facing inwards means I’m in a relationship. Left hand inwards means we’re married. What you want is the left hand outwards. It symbolizes our engagement. ^I felt a tear fall down my cheek as I flipped the ring to it’s proper position. This was more than perfect. It was everything we needed. It was who we were as a couple.^ The claddagh symbolizes Love, Loyalty, and Friendship. The heart, the crown, and the hands. “With these hands, I give you my heart and crown it with my love.” It’s a quote many a little Irish girl wishes to hear from her mother. Most mothers pass down their claddaghs to their daughter. I gave up on hearing that phrase from her when I was sixteen. ^I could feel myself getting a bit more emotional as I tried to keep everything together. It wasn’t working that well, and I could only let out a soft laugh.^ Of course, you wouldn’t understand why this ring is perfect for us. You wouldn’t begin to understand why I’ve always wanted one. But you’re my Daddy. And somewhere inside of you, you always know what I want. And you’ll always bend over backwards to give me exactly what I need. And what I need is you. So if you couldn’t tell by me switching my ring to the proper position, the answer is yes. I will absolutely marry you. Because I can’t imagine my life with anyone else. Myrick: -I tried not to let my face fall when she took the ring off, but it only took a moment for me to realize what she was trying to tell me. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing here. I had no way of knowing what the ring meant to her, or how to properly place it on her finger. But she was telling me yes. That much was abundantly clear. The happiness that spread through me at the reply was more than I knew how to express. There weren’t going to be any words I had to explain how that reply made me feel. It was what I’d wanted, but more than I felt like I should ever deserve. Love, Loyalty and Friendship… That was perfect. I’d stumbled on the very thing all this was for me by accident. Cay was the best friend I’d ever had, probably my entire life. Love, that was a given. And I’d have been loyal to her for the rest of my life if it was what she wanted. One ring, that I hadn’t completely understood, had summed it all up without a single word. I stood up, pulling her into my arms without unlinking my hand from hers and pressing my lips against her- Cay: ^There wasn’t much I could say or do as Daddy pulled me into his arms. All I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and let myself feel. There were a million and one emotions going through me, though. Part of me couldn’t begin to understand why this man thought I was good enough to be his. It was a thought I struggled with on a daily basis. Another part of me thought that this was right. This was where I was supposed to be. This was my home. Not the condo that had been given to me as a gift. My home was the man who had me in his arms and was kissing me to death. I let my fingers curl into the dark strands and was granted with the deep growl I had come to expect. It was a sound that I loved. There was still so much to work on. There were still a few rooms in the house that needed to be decorated. But there was truly nothing but time. I’d be given all the time in the world if I asked for it. But it wasn’t something I wanted. I wanted to be here, in this moment, for the rest of time. And knowing that I had a Daddy that loved to spoil me ensured that it was a feeling I could recreate any time I wanted.^ #WhenTheLightsFlickerOutTonight