#like I’m the sex character and I want a gf who is the character who doesn’t want sex | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

munivrse · 7 months

Text

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Too close

closeted bada, bf-to-ex howl, secret gf y/n.

c/w: angst. angry howl, homophobia, minor and very, very minor physical harm done to bada. closeted bada, out and proud reader. its alooooot of angst. some comfort at the end though so don't worry!

a/n: the characters depicted are not related nor based off of their personalities in real life. this is purely fiction. also shout out to @wrosie-writes. they wanted to see anti howl fic. they ask, they shall receive. enjoy!

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"are you okay?"

bada hears howl, but she's more concerned with the contents on her phone than she is with him.

"i'm fine." bada tries to make it sound as believable as possible.

“i don’t get you.” howl glares at her, eyes boring into the back of her head.

“...what are you talking about?”

“you and y/n. you’re just really close with her. you confide in her, you trust her. it kind of pisses me off if i’m being honest.”

bada moves her focus from the tv to howl who stands behind the couch she sits on. she looks at him incredulously. why is he bringing this up now?

“what prompted this?”

“you. i know you’re texting her right now.”

bada challenges him, “and if i am?”

howl rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair. he was so fucking fed up with you. every chance you got, you were with howl and bada. howl felt like you were intruding all the time, meanwhile, bada told you to not be a stranger. he was angry.

“i want you to stop talking to her.”

bada fully turns around and blinks up at him, “what?”

howl’s eyes narrow, “you heard me. stop talking to her.”

bada shakes her head, “i shouldn’t have to choose. don’t make me choose.”

howl stands firm and bada almost caves. a part of her loves howl. another part of her loves you, deeply.

bada stands up and tries to walk around him. what the fuck was she supposed to do? why was he putting her in this impossible position?

“lets go to bed and talk about this in the morning. please.”

bada continues walking towards their shared bedroom but howl stops her. he grabs hold of her wrist and pulls, “don’t walk away from me. you’re avoiding this.”

she wrenches her hand out of his grip and rubs at her wrist. he’d never done that before and it hurt. it hurt.

“i just don’t want to talk about it right now.”

howl frowns and tries to grab at her again but bada dodges his advancement toward her. she shifts to the other side of the island in their kitchen.

“i dont like this.”

she felt scared. small.

howl raises his voice, “you know what i don’t like? watching my girlfriend be mentally intimate with another person. you’re not even fucking her, you just care too much about her. you pour yourself into her instead of me. god, bada, we havent had sex in weeks! you barely let me hold your hand. Is it y/n? is she forcing you to do something you don’t want to do?”

bada’s jaw drops momentarily. but her shock is replaced with anger and frustration. distress and confusion. “what did you mean by that last part?” she leans forward and places her hands on the surface in front of her.

“you heard me. i know y/n likes women. is she coming on to you? you know i don’t like that and i can make her stop if you want me to. just say the words.”

bada shakes her head, confusion still drawn on her face, “you can make her stop? how? and what do you think it is that she could possibly be doing? what’s so wrong with her liking women?”

howl puts his head in his hands. he couldn’t believe how dense bada was acting. it’s like she didnt understand that-

“i don’t like that about her. you know that doesn’t sit right with me. i can take care of it. of her.”

fear pools in the bottom of bada’s stomach. she gets nauseous and thinks carefully about her next words as they mean alot for your own personal safety. she did not want to compromise that. she… she did not want to compromise herself either. she tries to act passive and pulls out her phone. she sends you a quick “sos” and sets her phone on the counter.

“you don’t need to take care of anything. stop worrying about it. about me. about her. everything is fine. i’m tired baby, can we please just let this go for the night?”

she glances down as she sees the texts coming in from you.

are you okay?

please answer me.

are you at howls?

its late, i need to know if you’re safe

i see your location, i’m on the way

*y/n has shared their location with you*

i’ll be there in 10 minutes. if it’s howl messing with you again, i swear to god i’ll take that fucker out tonight.

howl rounds the corner of the island and takes steady strides to bada and she stumbles back, praying that you show up sooner rather than later.

“you don’t see how she’s fucking with your head? she doesn’t love you like i do, bada.” howl reaches a hand up to bada’s face.

bada shakes in fear, its creeping up her spine and she can feel his breath on her face. he’s too close.

he’s too brave.

bada takes his hand in hers and places it back down by his side,

“you don’t love me howl. I’m something for you to show off like a trophy to your friends. I have no real meaning to you. you dress me up and make me out to be whoever you want me to be, but i’m not her. I’m not the girl you want me to be so desperately.”

bada straightens up for the first time in a couple months and she laughs as she realizes - her and howl stand at the same height. it makes her chuckle in his face. she advances towards him instead and now, the tables turn. howl looks almost… disturbed? shocked? he’d never seen bada be so… firm. so confident.

“y/n lets me be myself. fully. she accepts every part of me without question. her love is unconditional with no limit. no ceiling. there are no dealbreakers- she just loves me. howl i cant even wear sweatshirts around you without you saying i’m not being feminine enough. i’m not pretty enough. but y/n? it doesn’t matter what the fuck i have on because its me. and she loves me regardless.”

bada’s phone dings again and as she looks down at it, its you.

i’m parked, i’m in the elevator going to your floor now

bada walks around howl to their bedroom, he follows.

“where do you think you’re going?” howl crosses his arms.

bada grabs her emergency bag, only needing a couple items since you already had half of her wardrobe at your apartment. “i’m going out. i’m not sure when i’ll be back.”

she exits the bedroom and makes her way to the door,

“and let me just tell you this, howl. If it came between you and y/n, i will always choose y/n. without question.”

and as if on cue, the doorbell rings. bada swings the door open to reveal you in a pair of sweatpants and one of her sweatshirts draped on your body. bada tries her best to shield howl from your sight and exit as swiftly as she possibly can given the situation, but howl grabs her arm and yanks. you hear bada hiss, and as soon as you lay eyes on howl, you feel rage encompass your entire being. you step into the door and remove his hand from her arm, pulling bada from out of the door frame and behind you.

“how dare you lay your fucking hands on her? are you kidding me?” you take a step forward but bada pulls you back and intertwines her hand with your own, “let’s go y/n. please”

howl’s body is slumped, insecurity swallowing him whole. you can't help but laugh at him. he was such a fucking idiot. you turn around and scan bada for any harm, luckily, she seems fine other than being a little shaken up. you lean up to give her a kiss on her cheek and take one last look at howl. pathetic. you both turn to walk away and howl hopes bada turns around to look at him, show any waver of uncertainty. but she never looks back, she just moves forward. with you.

──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

your fingers twirl through bada’s hair. she’d changed into comfy clothes once you guys got home and now she’s sprawled out on top of you, head laying on your chest.

“you okay?” your hand pushes the hair out of her face. you feel her nod. she shifts so that her head is resting upright.

“i am now.” she grins up to you, pressing her lips against your own. she really meant it this time.

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #bada lee smut #smut #bada x reader #swf 2 #fuck howl #not irl #but still fuck depicted howl #swf 2 x reader #lee bada x reader #lee bada #street woman fighter x reader

644 notes · View notes

changbunnies · 3 months

Text

Misbehave, (18+)

♡ Pairing: Boyfriend!Changbin x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: smut, pre-established relationship

♡ Word Count: 4k

♡ Summary: Changbin is on tour and misses his pretty girlfriend back home- and what better way to tell her he misses her than to send her a naughty video?

♡ Smut Warnings: sub!changbin, video recording, nipple play, masturbation, mommy kink (this is self indulgent okay), sex toys, phone sex, it is more than implied that bin has a degradation kink, petnames (baby, bunny, honey)

♡ Notes: so i saw this video of a guy in bunny pajamas jerking off and it gave me SUCH bad binnie brainrot i literally could not stop imagining him in cute pink bunny pajamas recording a video for his gf 😵‍💫😵‍💫 so yeah enjoy this purely self indulgent smut ! and i read a lot of mommy kink fic but this is my first time actually writing it so i'm not super confident its good but i hope it's at least decently enjoyable gfdgdf

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

“Baby! I’m wearing the pajamas you got me, you see?” Changbin smiles, bright and cute, just the way you like it as he looks into his phone's camera. The pajamas are a fluffy, pastel pink full body suit; warm, soft, cozy, with cute lopped bunny ears connected to the hood he has pulled up over his curly hair. You got the pajamas for him because they reminded you of him, you said, and he positively beamed- because you were thinking of him, because you bought him something so adorable, because now he gets to show them off for you.

He didn’t get a chance to wear them before he was getting shipped off on the next plane out of the country, but of course he packed them with him. And now, on a break between shows where he could just relax and take a breath, he decided this was the best time to wear them. But not just wear them- he had to show them to you! And sure, a few pictures would suffice, but isn’t this better? You can fully see how cute he looks in them this way, how the size you picked was just perfect, which he’s sure is because you know him inside and out.

He takes the soft pink bunny ears connected to the hood in his hands and flops them around, smiling while tilting his head back and forth, playing up his cuteness for the maximum effect. “If you were here, you’d call me cute, right? Your cute baby bunny?” Luckily for Changbin, he’s used to talking to a camera and displaying his cuteness, so recording a video like this for you comes to him naturally. And it’s lucky for you too, since that means your inbox is always full of new videos to get you through the drought until he comes back home.

Changbin can just imagine how you'd dote on him if you could see him now; you'd kiss his cheeks and nose, you'd ruffle his messy hair, you'd overload him with compliments and sweet words until his face goes pink and dick twitches in his pants. And really, he can't help that his body reacts to you this way- he just loves you so much, he lives for your compliments, and it's not his fault that the sweet, sometimes condescending way you speak them gets him all worked up. And while it's unfortunate he won't be able to get your initial reaction to his cute display in person, his imagination is more than enough fuel to keep him going.

“There's more I want to show you, you ready?” Changbin says as he starts to scoot away from where he has his phone propped up to record himself. It’s set pretty precariously against the pillows, seemingly on the verge of toppeling at any second, but he doesn’t think about that- his only thought is putting on a show for you. “It’s so soft- but you already know that, honey, you’re the one who picked it out,” he giggles a little to himself, giddy as he once again remembers it's a gift from you (exclamation point: you!), but he forces himself to stay on track before he gets too distracted.

“Since it’s so soft and comfy, I don’t need to wear anything underneath! See?” Changbin takes the zipper in his hand and he intends to pull it down slowly, but well.. he’s excited, and just can’t wait to show you how naked he is underneath the soft fluff of the pajamas you bought him. Sitting on his knees, he pulls the zipper down swiftly; and how quick he pulls it down causes it to get stuck for a moment, but he manages to keep it going smoothly after correcting its course.

If you were here, you’d definitely laugh at him for being so eager- you’d say something mean, but in that sweet, saccharine voice that’d instantly make his face flush pink and dick grow impossibly hard. You’d giggle at him for being pathetic, cock up your eyebrow and tilt your head to the side when he blushes, smirk when you see him twitch and throb and squirm after calling him a slut for always putting himself out on display for you.

The pajamas, big and loose as they are to comfortably fit all of Changbin’s muscle mass, completely hid his erection from view until the zipper was pulled all the way down. His chest, his cute tummy, his leaky cock- you can see it all now. But despite being exposed, he doesn’t take the pajamas off- he keeps the hood pulled up, doesn’t slip his arms out of the sleeves or take his legs out of the pants. He leaves them on for one main reason- because he feels cute in them, and wants you to think he's cute too.

“When I put them on I started thinking of you,” he says as he shifts into a more comfortable position off of his knees. There’s nothing to prop himself up against at the foot of the bed, so he has to just lean to one side and support himself with a single arm; not ideal, but the headboard has the very important task of keeping his phone upright (with the support of the pillows) and he will not be shifting anything around or starting over.

“A-And I get so hard whenever I think about you because you’re just so- mommy’s so pretty,” he says as his fingers ghost over his muscular chest, tracing the skin before he brushes his thumb over his nipple- the same way you would do it if you were here right now. It’s now that a blush finally rises on his cheeks; and it’s not that he’s embarrassed by doing it infront of a camera or from the image of himself tweaking his nipples reflected back at him, that part doesn’t matter- it’s because he’s sensitive.

His sensitivity to touch, whether yours or his own, is always enough to make his face burn, as it’s always a source of your teasing touches and words. You’ll pinch his sensitive nipples between your fingers while whispering filthy, playful words in his red-tinted ears, softly laughing when he squirms and whines. “I miss you,” he speaks to the camera, biting his lip when he rolls his nipple between his thick fingers, trying not to become too whiny right from the start.

Changbin is sure you’d like it if he was whiny right away, but he has to focus. He knows there’s major appeal in him becoming restless and needy quickly, and he has already shown how eager he is by hastily fumbling with his zipper, but still- he wants this video to last longer than a measly 5 minutes. It takes you longer to cum than him, and he needs to provide a video long enough for you to play with yourself to without having to loop it- that’s his thought process, anyways.

He averts his gaze from his phone setup, opting to look down at himself as he reaches over his chest to give his other nipple equal treatment. "I miss-" he starts to elaborate, but stumbles on his words after giving his nipple a particularly harsh tug. Shit- he has to move on if he wants to stay coherent enough to make a good video for you. Becoming unable to speak in the last few minutes is acceptable, but now, when he's barely even started? No, he has to do better!

So he trails his hand downwards, away from his chest and over his soft stomach as he tries again to let out what he wants to tell you. “I miss your smile, and- m-miss your kisses, your perfume, your hugs, your-” It’s a habit of Changbin’s to babble in these situations once he starts talking thanks to your influence on him. You like to get him talking when he’s like this- hearing him shyly babble away all the things he thinks you want to hear is easily one of your favorite things about fucking him.

And he obviously knows this, which is why he’s freely speaking every little thing that comes to his mind, knowing that you’ll like it (even if watching it back later will make him feel incredibly embarrassed.) Changbin isn’t shy about many things, but you always effortlessly bring his bashful side out. It’s another one of your favorite things, he knows- reducing your otherwise confident and unashamed boyfriend into an overly talkative, shy mess while his body takes on varying shades of pink and red.

So he does his best to bring himself to that place without your presence, to picture you there in front of him encouraging him to go on, to pretend his hand is yours instead. His string of words is broken by a harsh, shuddery breath when his hand finally reaches his cock. Changbin licks his drying lips and looks back at himself in the camera as he takes his length into his hand, stroking it as slowly as he can stand to.

It's more of a struggle than he'd like to admit- this is the first day he's had enough freetime to touch himself since leaving weeks ago, and his sensitivity, paired with the knowledge that he's recording for you and that you'll see all of this when you wake up in a couple of hours is causing his need to grow at an exponentially faster rate than he was prepared for.

He lets out a hiss when he rubs his thumb over the tip, and he has to make a conscious effort not to squirm or jolt his hips up into his hand too abruptly (both for his own sake, and his phone that isn't entirely stable in its placement.) Changbin's bottom lip quickly grows swollen and red from how frequently he bites at it in a vain effort to contain himself, and while it's more than mildly embarrassing to have such little control over his own body and voice, he knows you'll enjoy watching his failed efforts.

Changbin forces eye contact with the view of himself in his phone, wanting to ensure that it feels like he's looking at you when you inevitably watch it. He observes every detail, does his best to take note of what it is you'll be seeing; he watches the rise and fall of his own chest, how his stomach clenches, how his ever so slightly exposed thighs tense and twitch. You'll like this, right? Will think he's as sexy as he is cute? Will love it so much that you'll rub yourself over your dampening panties, that you'll reward him with a flood of sweet messages to wake up to when its morning for him?

"D-Do I look good like this, mama?" he asks the camera as he speeds up the motion of his hand, "Yes, right? I do? You love this, love me?" He briefly allows his eyes to close, imagining that you're there to answer his desperate questions- 'You look perfect, Binnie, you're amazing, such a good boy for me, I love you.' He can really hear you if he concentrates on the thought, as if you're just in front of him and not thousands of miles away peacefully asleep in bed.

Opening his eyes, Changbin remembers the bunny pajamas aren't the only thing he brought with him that he wanted to show you- he still has another surprise in store that he hopes you'll like to see. Letting go of his cock, he brings himself back to his knees and reaches for something just out of view of the camera- his fleshlight. His phone tilts from the shift in the weight, and Changbin is quick to catch it before it completely topples over.

He offers the camera a shy, somewhat awkward giggle as he puts his phone back in place, making an effort to secure it better this time in the hopes that it won't jostle too much from what he plans to do next. And in trying to get his toy ready quickly, he pours practically his entire travel-sized bottle of lube into it; a waste for sure, but he can always buy more later- getting the show back on track is more important.

Changbin is leaned forward now, face as close to the camera as it was when he was playing with the ears attached to the hood. His face being close again doesn't obscure the view of his body at all though, thanks to the fact that he's leaning at an angle, with one palm flat on the bed to support his weight while the other holds the fleshlight where he wants it. He's a bit nervous for this part, if he's being honest- maintaining eye contact himself while he fucks his toy is something he's never done before, but he wants to do it for you, so you have the best experience possible when he sends the video to you!

Other than briefly looking away to line himself up with the toy in his hand, he looks into the camera the entire time- as he slides inside, as he gasps and moans, as he rolls his hips over and over and over. He wonders if you’ve noticed it was gone; did you open up your shared drawer, pull out the bag containing all your fun little toys to have some fun with yourself, noticing in an instant that he took his own toys with him?

He imagines you did- that you pulled it out, intending to rummage for one of your vibrators and clearly saw it missing. You'd smile when you realized, he thinks, as there's only one reason to take such a thing with him. And you'd think of him the same way he always thinks of you, imagine him there next to you, close your eyes and pretend you're teasing him by making him watch you use a vibrator, not letting him touch you unless he's a good boy and keeps his hands to himself until you cum.

Changbin is always a good boy, even in his imaginary scenarios- he'd never, never do anything against what you tell him. Even when he imagines you touching yourself, when he thinks about what scenarios you'd picture in your mind to get off, he's a good boy who does whatever he's told, watching and waiting patiently for his time to touch you.

The ears on the hood still pulled over his fluffy hair bounce with each movement he makes, and finally he breaks eye contact with his phone, his head falling forward and eyes squeezing shut as his whimpers and moans grow in volume. "F-Feels so good baby, mom-mommy, mama, Binnie feels so- so good," he whines, biting his lip once more as he lifts his head to look at the camera again.

If he wasn't already so far gone, he'd feel bad for his neighbor on the other side of the hotel wall; he knows he's getting loud, but he can't help it. He's fucking his toy, head full of you- of what you'd say to him, how you'd sound with your vibrator pressed to your clit, how you'd expertly time your release with his, how you'd look at him when you cum together. With his eyes squeezed shut, he can perfectly conjure the image of you in his head, vivid and almost real enough to trick his brain into believing you’re together right now.

The way you smile at him always rattles his senses, pretty to an almost ethereal degree, sharply contrasting the dirty words you confidently, unashamedly tell him. And while your voice rings clearly in his head, it’s not really you- it’s just the memory of you; vivid, clear, but not as real as he wants it to be. His imagination helps but it’s still nothing compared to if you were really talking to him, if he could see you when he opens his eyes, if he could reach out and touch you or smell your perfume mixed with arousal.

Changbin just wants you, he misses you so fucking bad. It’s the early hours of the morning where you are, and you’re likely still asleep, but he has to call you, has to hear your voice. He obviously intended to cum on camera for you, and he’ll definitely feel bad about waking you up when he’s back in his right mind, but all he can think about right now is how much he craves you. He reaches for his phone, hastily ending the recording and pulling up your contact, pressing the call button before he can even think to stop himself.

The phone rings for so unbearably long that Changbin expects to hear your voicemail message, but to his surprised relief, you answer; a soft, deep and groggy “hello?” from the other end of the line. “Mommy-” he whines upon hearing your voice, his desperation clear through the speaker pressed to your ear. As if the needy whine wasn't enough of a tell to what he's doing, you can hear the slick, sloppy sounds of what you can only assume to be either his lubed up hand or one of his toys beneath his panting breaths and whimpery moans.

"Binnie," you start, a playful tone emerging in your voice, the haze of sleep melting away in record time in response to hearing your sweet boy playing with himself, "are you being naughty?" He nods quickly before he remembers you can't even see him right now and he needs to provide a verbal answer. "Y-Yeah, I- I was m-making a video for you but I need- need you so bad right now," he answers, his entire body shuddering when he hears you sweetly laugh in response.

"You always make me videos, though," you muse with a smile as you shift in bed, "but I'm guessing this is a naughty video, huh? Is that right, sweet boy?" Changbin whines when you call him that, but quickly affirms the statement with a timid 'yes.' You hum as your smile grows, settling comfortably on your back as you continue to talk to him. "So, what happened? Got so needy while making your slutty little video for me that you couldn't even finish it properly? Had to call mommy and wake her up just so you could finish getting off, is that it?"

He lets out another whine- louder this time, and beneath it another sound becomes obvious to your ears; whatever hotel bed he's on is beginning to creak. It tells you something important- that's he's not just laying on his back and stroking himself, but that he's deliberately fucking whatever it is he's using. And given the growing volume and rapid rate of the creaking, you imagine he's rutting into it pretty desperately.

Oh, what a sight he must be right now- it's a shame he's not recording anymore, because his debauched desperation would reflect beautifully on camera, a perfect image for only your eyes to see. "Are your eyes closed, bunny? Are you imagining me there?" you suddenly ask him and again he answers with an affirmative, albeit timid, whine. Good, you think, you know exactly what to do with this information- a little bit of roleplay is just the thing your sweet boy needs.

"How's my pussy feel, baby? Is it good?" you ask, having to bite your lip to suppress a delighted laugh when he gasps and whimpers. The fact that you're playing into his ongoing mental fantasies and pretending he's fucking you is driving him impossibly close to the edge. "S-So good, mama!" he manages to stutter out, and you can tell his rutting has grown more sporadic, the creaking of the bed far less successive and rhythmic as it was when you first noticed it.

“So wet, always so wet-” he continues, cutting himself off with a particularly loud whimper. In true ‘good boy’ fashion, Changbin intended to babble away all his thoughts and the things he knew you’d want to hear him say, but he has himself so high strung and taut that all he can do now is spill noise after noise from his harshly bitten lips. He wishes he wasn’t so close, if only so you could hear your voice for a little longer, but he can’t delay it much more than he already has. And the poor boy, he tries to ask for permission, or at least warn you it’s coming, but all that comes out are broken syllables between all his panting and crying.

It’s obvious he’s close without him even having to say it, and while your bunny appreciates a mean streak when it comes from you, you can tell he needs this and you’re not going to punish him for struggling to ask for permission. Instead, you’ll sweetly encourage him along; because another thing about Changbin is that he hates being bad, even when it’s by accident. “Gonna fill me up, sweet boy? Fill mommy’s pussy with your cum?” you ask, ensuring he knows it’s more than okay, that you want him to cum for you.

Changbin’s eyes roll back the instant the words leave your mouth, his cum spurting into the toy as a string of broken cries leave him in quick succession. He collapses to the bed with exhaustion when he’s finally done, his chest heaving as he tries to calm his racing heart and get his breathing back under control. He’s impossibly hot, from equal parts the pajamas and how worked up he got, his face red hot and his hair clinging to his forehead with sweat, eyes still closed while his brain tries to reboot itself and get back to normal function.

“Shit-” he suddenly scrambles back up, pressing the phone back up to his ear, “I’m so sorry, you were sleeping, it’s still early there and I called you anyways, oh my god-” Your giggle cuts off his string of apologies, and while he’s still impossibly sorry for waking you up just because he was horny, he is relieved you’re not mad at him. “It’s okay Bin, it was better than waking up to my alarm clock, that’s for sure,” you muse with a smile; could you have gotten an extra hour or two of sleep? Of course, but is this better? Absolutely.

“I love you, you know that? I love you so fucking much,” Changbin says and you giggle again before you reply. “I love you too, so don’t forget to send me that video! And clean yourself up, bunny, I know you’re a mess right now. I’ll stay on the phone with you, okay?” “Yeah? You will?” he smiles as he complies, carefully rising from the bed to get himself and his toy clean. “Mhm, it’s starting to get late for you, right? I’ll stay until you sleep,” you tell him, and oh, does that make him ecstatic.

He sends you the video before he forgets, and you talk about mundane things while he takes care of all the tasks he needs to get done to sleep. You’re talking about little things like what you plan to eat for breakfast, what you have to do at work today, what friends you’re going to meet for lunch- and Changbin soaks it all up happily, sighing contentedly as he lies back in his hotel bed, curled up with your soft voice to lull him comfortably to sleep. You don’t stop until you hear his soft snores and measured breaths, whispering to him a ‘good night’ and ‘I love you’ that he can no longer hear, but you have to say regardless.

Ending the call, you still have an hour left before you have to start your day in earnest, with a video in your inbox from your sweet boy just waiting to be watched and played to. You smile as you set your laptop at the foot of the bed and click open his video along with your camera, rays of sunshine just beginning to illuminate your room through the curtains, setting a beautiful backdrop as you set yourself up to return your sweet boyfriend’s favor.

#this was supposed to come out sooner but i got sick earlier this week :') forgive me besties #skz x reader #changbin x reader #skz smut #changbin smut #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz fanfic #sub!skz #mdni + divider graphic credit: @cafekitsune

300 notes · View notes

badass-queer-couples-battle · 18 days

Text

⚔️⚔️ Sword gays showdown, grand finale ⚔️

*Camilla fanart by @friendamedes, used with permission

Propaganda:

For Camilla:

she prefers dual-wielding two short blades but can fight with pretty much anything. she's ambidextrous she's autistic she's even sex-repulsed ace. she sighs longingly when reunited with her weapons. she's from planet academia and dresses like an off-duty librarian. literally one of the most iconic moments of the entire series is when she gets challenged to a duel and absolutely wipes the floor with her opponent even though she doesn't even like rapiers that much. 'swords don't lie.'

OK I’m sure you’re getting just about every character from The Locked Tomb but Cam is my favorite. She's a nerd AND a jock. She is in this deeply intense and loving and unhealthily codependent soulbond partnership with her best friend second cousin and prince. She is smart and deadpan snarky and fights like a grease fire and I have never been able to get that line out of my head.

For Gideon:

she's incredibly good w/ her two hander and less good with her rapier but she's still pretty good!! she is a horny lesbian who's taste in women seems to exclusively be "girls who have tried or are going to try to kill her". she's a redhead. i love her

Gideon’s a HUGE Butch lesbian and literally always wanted to use a broad sword. Specifically a broad sword. She said fuck rapiers. Uhhh literally dies to save the girl she cares for and the sword she uses then becomes like an altar for said girl. Gideon Nav Supremacy <3

oh she is the most badass swordswoman lesbian in media. she’s her gf’s cavalier, defends her in battle, she’s incredibly butch and buff

C'mon shes THE sword lesbian like... canonically

Loves her broadsword more than anything on her home planet and practices whenever she can. Spoiler it’s possessed by her mom. Gave everything so her best enemy could eat her soul and become the new saint. The character of all time child of two separate threesomes, child of the god emperor, she’s dead, she’s butch, she’s a dork, she’s doomed by the narrative. She’s my favorite.

girlie is literally the swordswoman supreme. she’s the cavalier primary to her necromancer. she has a fuckoff huge longsword. she gets absorbed into another person SPECIFICALLY to swordfight for them. in a gay way too.

While everyone else was developing common sense, she studied the blade. This dyke's main weapon and true love is the long sword, but she's also passable with a rapier. The sword is, in her own estimation, pretty much all she's good for. That and her smoking hot bod and terribly charming sense of humor.

"While we were developing common sense, she studied the blade." (Direct quote from the book). She's the most useless lesbian to ever exist, and she's obsessed with an absolute wet cat of a woman. Learned longsword mostly on her own and is such a genius with the sword she learned rapier in a few months (by personal experience, it's really really hard)

Most badass broadsword wielding lesbian easily slaying bone monsters and evil space wasps

The cavalier to her necromancer. very gay. in a complicated codependant lovehate relationship with the only other person her age she knew growing up.

For Xena:

It is HER! The OG woman with a blade!

Her show was so iconic that any lesbian over the age of 30 knows her IMMEDIATELY because this show probably helped her have her awakening. Fandom foremothers and fathers rise up and get your gal a title.

An all around badass, bisexual woman, comfortable with many different bladed weapons. Her show was so much better than Hercules people forget his exists.

Xena is one of the OGs: once a baddie who turned good, she's a warrior who uses swords, daggers, and her trusty chakram to defeat evil and defend the innocent, while traveling with her kickass girlfriend Gabrielle.

She has many skills

#sword gays showdown #camilla hect #gideon nav #xena #tlt #the locked tomb #xena warrior princess

117 notes · View notes

hannah-h-pleb · 10 months

Note

HANNAH PLEASEEEEEEE

Eric bragging to his friends about how loud you are in bed and how pretty you look when you’re crying from just his tongue. Literally none of them believe him, even Kenny is skeptical 💀💀

Because like, Cartman? Eric Cartman who’s not shit in bed??? Eric Cartman who’s slept with his gf??? They simply don’t believe it and it’s just him desperately trying to convince them for a sec

Harley you’re a genius. I’m sorry it took so long to get to this. But since I’m feeling extra silly let’s really talk about it

Gonna write these as headcanons but who knows, maybe I’ll write a blurb about it 🤭

Eric Cartman x Reader: Bragging to His Friends About You

Content Advisory: Smut (18+), minors DNI, aged up characters (think “college AU”)

When you and Eric first got together, everyone immediately assumed he was going to be abusive towards you the same way he was with Heidi back in the day. Miraculously this claim was proven to be false as they watched Eric treat you with actual respect, although there were some that still claimed it was “fake” or that he was just “manipulating you”. Therefore another claim was made about you and Eric…”Their sex life must be horrible!” “There’s no way she actually sleeps with him” “I bet he has a tiny dick”

Even Eric’s closest friends, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny, all had their doubts about Eric’s performance in bed. They pinned him as one of those guys who brags about the size of his dick when in reality, it’s not that big. Therefore, they found it really hard to believe that Eric could actually successfully please his girlfriend in bed

Plot twist….he really does…and nobody believes it. But you on the other hand, you’ve experienced it…..

Eric was never one to coddle you in bed. He wasn’t one of those “soft and sweet” boys in the bedroom. When you guys do it, it’s rough, primal, and downright kinky. Eric was pleasantly surprised to find out that you actually enjoyed how rough he was and it only agged him on to give it to you harder. He could be kind to you of course, but when he gets you alone it’s a completely different story

He’s mean. He does one of two things while eating you out: He edges you on his tongue, or he continues to eat you out after you orgasm to overstimulate you. No matter which option he chooses, he aims to make you cry on his tongue whether it be by begging him to let you cum or begging him to stop because “it’s too much”

He would also make you ride his face as he eats you out. This way he could grip your thighs and hold you down on his face while he edges or overstimulates you to his hearts content

Eric is almost always in control and he wants you to know that. He controls your orgasms, he owns your body, he will fuck you as hard he was wants, use whatever toys he wants, and you don’t get a say in any of it. To some, this seems cruel, but to you the feeling of being utterly powerless under Eric and letting him hold all the cards is just so hot. Plus this man loves control so he thrives on making you a needy mess for him

He wants you to beg for what you want. In fact, he wants you to prove how much you want his cock by making you ride one of his dildos before giving you his cock. “Prove it. Prove to me how bad you want this cock. Go on, show me that you’re a good whore and maybe I’ll give it to you”

And when he finally fucks you he shows no mercy. He manhandles you, forcing you down into a mating press and fucking you as hard as he wants. Or, he bends you over and fucks you into the mattress while pulling on your hair, smacking your ass, or digging his nails into your skin. Even if you’ve came for him once or twice already, it’s not over until he says it is or until he gets tired

He has surprisingly good stamina though. The adrenaline rush he gets from the control he holds over you is enough motivation for him to keep going until he can’t. Once again, if he’s not making you cry, he’s far from finished

Your crying and sobbing only turns him on more. It’s the POWER he loves. Knowing he’s the one who can bring you so much pleasure that you start to cry is nearly enough to make him cum on the spot

Oh, and then there’s the name calling and the mocking. He WILL call you names, he will mock you for being a “needy little slut” for him, and he just loves it

Now imagine him sitting at lunch bragging about all of this to his friends. He doesn’t spare any details either. He tell them everything, how you cry and beg him to fuck you, how he licks the tears off your face, the marks he leaves on your ass, everything

And do his friends believe him….of course not. Because why would CARTMAN of all people actually be good at sex? Not to mention Kyle would be the one to speak up and say “You’re not supposed to hit girls or make them cry in bed”, and Kenny would chime in with, “Maybe she cries because of how bad you are”. While the table erupts with laughter, Eric goes “You guys are probably just jealous because I’ve got a hot girlfriend who lets me fuck her however I want and you assholes can’t even get a girls number”. Stan rolled his eyes, “Just keep telling yourself that dude”

Despite his desperate attempts to convince them, they simply don’t believe him and that angers him beyond belief. So just be ready to have some dark hickies all over your neck. This way, everyone will know who you belong to and who makes you feel good

Who knows. Maybe he’ll “accidentally” leave his phone lying around on record well you guys fuck. This way, he’ll have irrefutable proof that you enjoy how cruel he is to you, and that he and he alone makes you cry and cum on his cock over and over again

#eric cartman #eric cartman headcanons #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman x reader smut #cartman x reader smut #south park #south park x reader #hannah is feeling silly again

263 notes · View notes

dahliaslove · 11 months

Note

Can I get Stu, and Michael Myers (separate) with a fem!s/o who often draws them? Like, it can range from her drawing them doing simple things like sitting, eating, watching TV. But, she also draws them off on kills, covered in blood….maybe even nsfw drawings?????

SLASHERS W/ A GF WHO LIKES TO DRAW THEM

⭑ authors note: i didn’t add any extras to this one because once again i am feeling lazy!! so i hope these are somewhat decent 😣💔

⭑ warnings: one mention of blood and knives, me using the word flabbergasted for fun, a singular mention of having dirty sweaty sex with stu (but no details because i’m a menace), this is kinda crappy because i rushed it but that’s about it

⭑ characters: michael myers and stu macher

MICHAEL MYERS

- michael definitely notices you scribbling away in a notebook whenever you’re around him but i feel like he would ignore it and only silently judge you for it because he’s too lazy to be nosy

- if you show him any of your drawings that aren’t of him he would probably just sit in silence and nod his approval (he’s obviously not the chattiest guy in the world yk?)

- i think that he would find out that you’re drawing him by going into your room while you’re sleeping (he’s a creep) and just finding some drawings of him laying around on your desk

- he would absolutely flip through your notebook when he finds out that you’ve been drawing him and he would be low key impressed by your drawings and maybe even a little smug under his mask

- of course since he’s looking through your whole notebook he will stop and be absolutely flabbergasted once he sees any inappropriate drawings of him (ignore my use of ‘flabbergasted’, my friend recently taught me it and i find it fun to use)

- he would probably just sit hunched over in silence for a while looking through those, he would definitely feel flattered in a strange way, like you think he looks like that?

- especially if your art of him is in a cool style or uses color in a unique way. i feel he would like if you did one black and white drawing of him where the only color you bring in is red for the blood that he’s constantly covered in

- he would especially be proud of the ones that show him during and after his kills, and would like the action shots the most. i’m sorry but if he sees a cool one of him slashing his knife during a kill he is definitely tearing that out and keeping it in his own little hiding spot (as an artist this hurt me, as a romantic this made me feel nice)

- if you try to talk to him about him taking some of the drawings he will just turn around and walk away in silence (he is embarrassed and doesn’t want to show it)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

STU MACHER

- he is a very nosey guy so as soon as he sees you with your nose tucked into your sketchbook he’s attempting to take it out of your hands to look in it. and once he gets it he’s hopping on a counter or desk to give him more height so he can hold it over your head and poke fun at you

- absolutely flips through it in front of you and just takes a seat to really enjoy any embarrassment you might be feeling. as soon as he finds any drawings of him he is going to tease the hell out of you with a wicked grin

- he’d probably say something like “wow babe! you’ve really captured my rugged good looks” and as soon as he finds any drawings of him as ghostface??? he will seriously be debating purposing to you (he’s whipped)

- will 100% brag to billy about how he has an ‘artist gf who draws amazing’ billy would probably get annoyed very easily by this and tell stu to shut up and he would just be like >:}

- don’t even get me started on him finding any sexual drawings you drew of him. his teasing will get a million times worse and he will pop an instant boner. oh my god and if there’s any sexual ones of him in his ghostface costume?? he would go absolutely feral.

- let’s all be honest right now, stu would just pin you to the nearest surface and have the sweatiest and most dirty sex ever with you, because he’s just that unhinged.

- after all this he’s probably asking you a silly question like if you can draw him doing a backflip because he thinks it’d be cool to see himself do that for some reason ??

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

#dahliaslove horror #michael myers x reader #stu macher x reader #halloween movie #scream 1996 #stu macher #michael myers #x reader #x reader insert #slashers x reader

368 notes · View notes

star2fishmeg · 9 months

Note

Your request are open again yey🥳

murayama, how would it be with his girlfriend who is shy about sex, can you write something about it(ʘᴗʘ✿)

ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ

Pairing: Murayama Yoshiki x afab!shy!reader

Summary: Murayama with a girlfriend who is shy about sex

Warnings: 18+ smut, swearing, petnames (princess, baby), soft sex, pretty vanilla, missionary

Authors note: Thank you so much for your patience!! This went through 3 drafts but it’s finally ready!

Request: above!

Murayama can be quite dense on hints, so he’d probably need his gf to explicitly say something to him to get it

He’s considerate though!! He does think of other’s feelings and tries to figure out a solution where everyone’s happy, but he doesn’t solve everything with his fists

This man is not shy, which is probably why his girlfriend likes him bc she doesn’t have to be the one saying the stuff she finds embarrassing

Murayama would understand though, and he’d do his best to ensure that his gf is comfortable

“You alright, princess?” he asked. She turned her head slightly to see Murayama already looking at her with his puppy dog brown eyes.

Y/n nodded, thighs clenching, “Yeah…just a bit restless…for some reason.” She was not just restless. Her core throbbed, panties wet and stuck to her folds and her face heating up. Yoshiki was oblivious to how attractive his arms were, especially after a workout when the veins popped more than usual.

“Cool,” he nodded, eyes flickering to the way her thighs were clenched, “If something up, you can always tell me, yanno.”

Minutes passed and Murayama could not focus on the TV, y/n's constant shifting in the corner of his eye becoming concerning. Carefully, he scooted closer, startling her a little and pulled her onto his lap to straddle him. She sat tensed, deeply exhaling when his hands roamed her backside and the dip in her spine. His eyes settled on her neck and trailed to her face, where her cheeks flushed pink and her own eyes struggling to make contact.

“Baby, you know I ain’t good at hints. But I can read that something’s on your mind,” his voice was soft, barely above a mumble. She shifted over his crotch unintentionally, just squirming in general embarrassment, “So are you gonna tell me? Baby you know I’m here for you.”

Opening her mouth to speak, she closed it again upon seeing the concern written in his eyes. She buried her face into his neck, arms wrapping around his shoulders and whispering, “I need you…I need you inside me.”

“Thank god I’m horny too.”

Would be slow and soft if she wanted or would go fast and hard if she wanted that. He’s accommodating to her needs over his own bc he’s a sweet guy when in love

Honestly think he would stumble a lot bc he’s not used to having a shy character around him. He’s grown up around brawling and dudes who yell what they want when they want so he’d probably repeat himself a lot, not out of bad nature but bc it’s a habit

Would hate when she covers her face or body bc he thinks she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and feels so lucky that he was chosen

Hips drawing back and forth in languid drags in and out her pulsing pussy, gummy walls clenching around him like a pleasant embrace. Yoshiki’s lips showered her neck and chest in wet yet loving kisses while his hands pinned her wrists above her head.

“You don’t need to cover yourself from me,” he placed another sloppy kiss to the valley of her breasts, “I love you the way you are, so fucking beautiful.” Y/n’s head could only remain pressed into the sheets, mouth hanging open and letting whimpers and high-pitched moans erupt from the chest. Tits bounced at every rut into her cunt, eventually releasing her hands and feeling them cling around his shoulders, her flushed and fucked out face burying into his neck while her nails clawed into his skin. She could never say it aloud, but every time his cock hit her cervix, adrenaline surged through her body and her head clouded until no coherent thought could be expressed.

“How you doin’, princess?” he rasped, pace only slightly quickening as his release was creeping, “Princess, I need you to use your words.”

“I-I’m…oh!” she wailed, legs gripping around his hips, the splitting feeling making the fact she couldn’t vocalise anything worse, “cumming!” Yoshiki groaned himself, feeling her pussy milk him and his cock leaking thick ropes into the condom. Y/n let his body go, but his hips continued to snap to savour every moment he could when watching his dick slide through her folds and hole.

Always an aftercare king!!

But won’t say anything, he’ll just clean his gf and himself up

On days where he feels like it, he’ll run a bath and lift her in with him, wash her, soothe her. Maybe rub her clit if he’s feeling mischievous

Other days he’ll mop up and dive straight into the bed for cuddles, whispering reassuring praises into his gf’s ear, telling her how well she did, kisses her silly

She sat with her back in his chest, the warm water reaching their waists as they sat in a comfortable silence. Murayama’s hands gently embraced her waist, lips leaving soft kisses on her cheek and neck.

“You did so well, y/n. So pretty,” he held her tighter, leaving kisses up her jaw as she relaxed into his grip, “Can’t get enough of you, I got you.”

H&L harem (if you wanna be tagged/removed in future H&L content, comment or lemme know via ‘chat to me bbygorl’ :D);

@straysugzhpe @airbendertendou @strxwberrychocolate @rouzuchan @yuken-gf @rinwhore @simpforchuchu @thatpoindexterpixy @rainisawriter @cheshirecatuniverse

[Masterlist]

[Requests OPEN]

#murayama yoshiki x reader #murayama yoshiki smut #yoshiki murayama #murayama yoshiki #murayama x reader #high&low #high&low x reader #high&low the worst #high and low #highandlow #high & low #oya high #high&low the worst x reader

102 notes · View notes

h-harleybaby · 1 year

Note

sleepover w/ cartman? what movies would you guys watch or like what would you guys do all night (video games,, 😳,, partying idk)

Got me excited 👀

Ik I said another request has my priority but like, this is really good and I’ll probably start on this one

But in the morning it’s almost 11 pm and I just woke up (btw this probably isn’t gonna be good I’m racking my brain for ideas)

Edit: ignore how I inserted my hobbies for the reader, IGNORE IT-

HAS NSFW CONTENT

Sleepover hcs w/ Cartman

• I’m gonna give it some background, the sleepovers probably after a long day of school. Maybe the guys were bugging him so ofc he’s gonna ask his gf to come over so he can rant and cuddle

• It wasn’t meant to be a sleepover but just ends up being one 💀

• That day just drained him and he missed youuuu, he needs to tell you about everything that happened and perhaps make you do his English homework because he sucks at it

• Eric’s laying on your chest grumbling about the guys while you kinda have your arms around him and are sewing

• Imagine you’re cooking something for the both of them because Liane is out partying and he just has his arms around your waist as he stands behind you with his head on your shoulder <333

• He’s whining about being hungry tho so it’s not as cute 🙄

• This man probably devours it, and it’s definitely not because your cooking is really good. Totally not, it’s just because he’s hungry

• Is what he says, it’s bullshit and you know he loves your cooking

• Y’all play all sorts of games tho, ranging from Mario cart to COD because he has a problem and chooses games he rages at when he loses

• He fucking sucks at Mario cart (the only reason he wins against the guys is because they suck even more) but won’t admit it and says you cheated during the game

• Y’all probably also watch a bunch of movies, switching between who chooses them. He’s always complaining about yours because “they suck ass” but he secretly enjoys them

• His favorite movie out of the ones you play is Mean Girls, and he definitely mocks at least one character through out the whole movie

• It’s 11 pm at this point, and during sleepovers you’re supposed to stay up all night aren’t you??

• He doesn’t even know what he wants to do but he wants your attention, desperately

• Probably plays truth or dare and you already know this is gonna end up a lil… steamy (this hc totally isn’t because an old crush of mine always played truth or dare when he came over and he’d always do really horny stuff)

• Tbh when this starts he’s kinda horny but he’s mainly bored. He’s just looking for some skin to skin contact

• At first it’s stupid, like prank call Stan or chug some disgusting mixture or whatever alcohol y’all can find but not for long 💀

• Eventually y’all just fall asleep on the couch- BUT THIS IS NOT WHERE IT ENDS

• Eric wakes up first and literally will not stop annoying you until you wake up, he wants attention >:(

• Please I just had an idea- he calls you sugar sometimes and when he wakes up and like, for the first hour of him being awake he has this hot morning voice <333 and he knows it makes you weak in the knees and you like that nickname so he probably calls you it the most in the morning-

NSFW

• Ik this is gonna sound really weird but I need you to stay with me on this, ok?!!?

• Sex with Cartman during sleepovers is usually sleepy sex or him fucking you (WITH YOUR CONSENT) while you sleep- PLEASE STAY WITH ME ON THIS I HC THAT HE'S INTO SOMNOPHILLA

• He definitely pokes/messes with your boobs just because it fun, also to try to wake you up

• Imagine sleepy sex with him tho- you're both half asleep but really horny so he promises he'll do it quickly and to make you feel good before y'all sleep. He'll hold you by the hips and fuck you on your side because he's too lazy for really anything else. But he's more gentle than normal and his pace is kinda slow, almost like he's teasing you <333

• Tbh he probably fucks you to sleep

• Ugh all I can think about is Eric pressing a couple of sloppy kisses on your neck and whispering how good you feel as he fucks you

• He's so much nicer when he's sleepy, praising you on how good you take him as his fingers circle your clit

• He's really quiet when he's sleepy, usually he won't shut up (I say this affectionately) but when he's like this it's just quiet moans and whimpers

• Eric fucking while you sleep isn't too much different tho

• He probably a little more awake and so he's rougher and gropes you more

• Your boobs are just so soft and he loves them, how could he not???

• One hand on your chest and the other on your hip so he can fuck you better <33333

• He doesn't exactly have a breeding kink but something about cumming in you is just addicting man, but he'd probably be gross and cum on your back and fall asleep before he cleans it up

• Or he cums in you... and then falls asleep IM SORRY THATS JUST SO FUNNY- he's gonna have to deal with a very angry you in the morning and you probably threaten not to have sex with him anymore for a week to teach him a lesson or something

• It does not work

• He's gonna fuck you on the kitchen counter while his mom is gone and breakfast is on the stove. The fact that half the reason he does that is to prove a point is so stupid and funny

• I mean he also thinks you're hot when you're angry/mad so like

• And like I said earlier, that morning voice of his makes you weak in the knees man

• He's gonna be smug all morning tho

I hope you like it, sorry if it sucks <333

#south park x reader #cartman x reader #eric cartman x reader #h harleybaby needs help #south park x reader headcanons #cartman kinda :lip bite:#eric cartman x y/n #Harley’s anons <33 #harley’s requests!

194 notes · View notes

coltrainbat · 1 year

Note

Chris or whoever of his characters makes his GF's birthday special because it hasn't been in a long time

Best Birthday Ever

A/N: A couple of things, Firstly, Chris, if you're reading this, this is my dream birthday. Secondly, rewatching glee so shameless plug for what I think is the best cover ever. Thirdly, the dress. OMG. Actually why am I spoiling this, read the story you're going to love it. That's all. TY 💕

The anxiety swirled in your stomach when a glorious bouquet of flowers arrived at your desk. You sighed opening the card already knowing who it was from.

1 day till the big day, get excited. Xo Chris

The big day in question was your birthday. You learnt long ago to not get excited about your birthday. Yeah you’ll get a gift from your mom, a card from your grandma and a bunch of flowers from your bestie and maybe if you’re lucky a few Happy Birthday texts from some friends but ever since your 21st birthday in which only 10 people showed up out of the 30 you invited all feigning excuses of being away, sick or celebrating some distant aunts wedding anniversary you have since tried to avoid making a big deal of the day all together. You found it best to just save yourself the embarrassment.

Chris, on the other hand, had been buying a gift every day from the 1st of this month leading up to it. Chocolates, flowers, making special dinners, little, small gifts like jewellery, perfume, plants or quirky knick knacks for your desk. In his opinion, one day wasn’t enough for you and you need to celebrate the whole month.

While you appreciated the gesture and enjoyed the curious enquiry with a subtle envy from the girls in your office about the beautiful bouquet. You really just wanted to snuggle on the couch with Dodger, watching a movie, maybe even get super crazy and crack open a pint of Ben & Jerry’s… birthday cake flavour of course. Besides, all your besties from college were scattered around the world and your family a good 12-hour flight away.

You arrived home, throwing your keys in the bowl and shrugging off your coat.

“Honey, that you?” Chris came bounding down the stairs, Dodger in tow.

“Hey baby… did you get my surprise.”

“I did thank you they were beautiful.” Closing the space between you, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“I want to skip my birthday.” You looked up at him, resting your chin on his chest.

“Oh, come on baby, you’re not that old. Look at me! I found 10 more greys in my beard. 10! That’s 10 more since last week.”

You chuckled rubbing his beard into your hands.

“It’s not about getting old. It’s just the day itself is never that good for me.”

“Well, I’m going to change that.”

“Oh really?” You questioned him.

“Yeah really, tomorrow night we are going out.”

“Argh do I have to? Can’t we just stay in and watch that new Netflix movie.”

“No arguments. Please, you have to trust me on this.”

“Ok, fine, I trust you.”

You wake up, to the soft singing of Happy Birthday, opening your eyes, there was your gorgeous boyfriend, in nothing but his boxers, holding a singular cupcake and lit candle in his hand in the doorway. You sat up as he walked towards you shielding the flame with his other hand. Dodger jumped on the bed, smothering you with kisses.

“Happy Birthday to you…” Chris finished his serenade.

“Make a wish beautiful.” You blew out the candle

You wished for the best birthday ever.

He leaned down, grabbing your cheek, pulling you into a long, passionate kiss.

Placing the cupcake on your bedside table.

“And now for the best part… Birthday sex.” He beamed. You couldn’t contain your giggles as he tackled you back down into the sheets.

Your workday went by breezy with more cake, more Happy Birthday singing and more jokes about getting older but not wiser,

That was until you got a string of calls:

The first from your mom saying she was sorry she couldn’t be there, but she’d bring your gift next time she sees you.

Then from your best friend, who understandably, couldn’t go halfway around the world for a singular day but you should expect a package at your door.

Then a group call from your college girlfriends who were either working or caught up with the kids but who had all pitched in to get you a voucher to your favourite restaurant and wanted to make sure you had a drink on them.

And finally, texts from your siblings and cousins, with Happy Birthdays and Love you’s but no promises to visit anytime soon. Ya know life is crazy busy etc.

It was fine. Totally fine. You still had tonight with Chris. This thought didn’t stop you from shedding a few tears on the toilet at work. Why would you even assume that anyone in your life cared that much to travel to see you just for an irrelevant birthday. You were delusional. But after tonight the day was over and you didn’t have to go through this again for another year.

At least they remembered, I guess. You sighed, wiping your eyes with toilet paper.

You got home and continued your same routine, keys in bowl, coat on rack. But no Chris and just Dodger sitting at your feet.

“Where’s daddy Dodge?” The pup crocked his head in confusion, letting out a little whine.

Great. Not here. And not even a text. You figured he had a sudden work thing pop up and would be back shortly.

You went upstairs to your bedroom, hoping to lie down before you had to get ready. When you noticed the large box on your bed with a card on top, addressed to you, naturally, it was your birthday after all and any box with a bow on your birthday is instantly yours.

You opened the letter, immediately noticing Chris’s handwriting.

Y/N,

Put this on. Car is arriving out the front at 7. Be ready by then. I had to pop out to run errands and will meet you at the restaurant. Love you, Chris.

You thought it was sweet he got you a car, but you were a little disappointed he couldn’t take you there. Your disappointment quickly disappeared though when you saw the dress in the box.

You gasped at the sight of the shiny dress with feathers on the hem. Holding it up, you didn’t even want to guess how much it cost, not to mention the matching bag and shoes that came with it in the box.

Excited to put on the opulent garment you jumped in the shower, taking your time getting ready knowing you had 2 hours, you blow dried your hair and used all your best makeup products. Finally, you slipped on the dress.

“OMG it has POCKETS!” You admired yourself in the mirror, repeating the action of slipping your hands in and out.

The tightness of the dress engulfed your curves, showing a decent amount of cleavage and the noticeable bump of your ass.

Chris definitely chose this dress.

You got a text on your phone telling you the car was out front, so you grabbed your bag, gave Dodger a kiss and made your way outside.

The driver stood outside the black Mercedes.

‘Happy Birthday ma’am.” He tipped his hat as he opened the passenger door, holding your hand as you scooted in carefully. “Thank you.” You smiled at him.

Champagne. Thank God. You gulped down the glass as you sat in anticipation of what Chris had planned.

Finally, you arrived at the fancy bistro, making your way inside, the whole place was empty which was unusual for the Michelin star restaurant, on a Friday night none the less.

There he was. Sitting at a table right in the middle of the room. He looked drool worthy in his smart outfit, his khaki shirt slightly unbuttoned revealing his gold chain and a peak of his tattoos.

He finally looked up and caught your eye, jumping from his seat and straightening his tie, holding out his arms for you.

“There she is!”

He pulled your hand and spun you around, getting a full 360 of the dress.

“God, it looks even better on you.”

“I love it so much, thank you it’s the best gift ever” You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“That’s not your surprise but I’m glad you like it.”

What else could this man have possibly install for you?

The waiter immediately brought out your starter. You sat and ate, devouring all your favourite foods cooked to perfection, platter by platter.

Chris looked at his watch 8:32.

“Shit we are late, come on, get up.”

“What are you talking about, we haven’t even had dessert yet!”

Chris fumbled with his words “I’ve got something different planned for dessert come on.” He coaxed you out of your seat. You made your way towards the door you came through, Chris pulled on your arm back.

“No, we aren’t going that way, over here.”

Walking towards the back of the restaurant, Chris lead you towards an inconspicuous black exit door.

“Chris we can’t go through here!”

“You wanna bet?” He said as he opened the door, revealing the best thing you have ever seen.

The door opened to a beautiful courtyard, covered in fairy lights.

In it stood:

Your mom,

Your dad,

Your siblings,

Your cousins,

Aunties, uncles, grandparents,

Your whole friendship group from college with their significant others and kids.

All of you and Chris's mutual friends.

Heck, even your work friends.

And of course,

your best friend.

All in one place, for you.

“SURPRISE!” They all shouted at you.

You almost bowled over in shock but not before your bestie ran up and engulfed you in a hug.

“But you all said… I thought… with the travel… and the cost of plane tickets…and… you-“

“Chris flew us all over here, sorted everything down to accommodation, travel, babysitting, food even drinks!” She beamed, shaking a cocktail in her hand.

“You did all this?” You turned around to your boyfriend, standing sheepishly, his hands behind his back.

“Yeah, it took a bit of rearranging and months of planning but yeah I did.” He smiled

You practically jumped on him, unable to wrap your legs around his waist due to the dress. He lifted you off the ground, hugging you back.

“Thank you.” You whispered in his neck.

“Nothing’s too much for you babe.”

“Best. Birthday. Ever. And it’s all thanks to you.”

“There’s one more thing.” He gestured to his right; a choir had formed into positions all dressed in black.

And then they started to sing.

youtube

Your favourite Glee cover. Sung by a professional choir. No fucking way. Tears started to well in your eyes from joy as you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist. You looked up at the beaming man who leaned close to your ear.

“Told ya to trust me.”

You spent the night, catching up with friends you hadn’t seen in months, drinking from bottles of expensive French champagne, dancing like crazy and telling Chris a billion times over how much you loved him.

Your birthday extended all the way to 5am in the morning and you wondered how he was going to top this next year…

#chris evans imagines #chris evans fic #chris evans x reader #chris evans fluff #chris evans imagine #chris evans x y/n #chris evans one shot #chris evans fanfiction #cevans #chris evans x plus size reader #chris evans fandom

160 notes · View notes

blitheringmcgonagall · 8 months

Note

The most annoying part of the canon v fanon Sirius debate is that canon Sirius never had a romantic partner but people will insist that he does. I’ve seen bullying over this and that’s when the debate stops being a bit of fun y’know?

I think that we need to let people come up with their own ideas! Bullying is never okay. As I previously mentioned, while we get a reasonable amount of backstory regarding Sirius, he’s most definitely NOT the main character in the series.

Just because we don’t get information about his love life, or lack thereof, doesn’t prove or disprove what his sexual orientation was and whether or not he was interested in dating/sex etc?

JKR clearly says that canon Sirius is not gay for Remus. She more or less invented Remadora to prove this point as apparently lots of HP fans were convinced Wolfstar was canon (but it being the 1990s etc, they thought that she couldn’t say it openly) and she wasn’t happy about it.

I genuinely think all options can be defended:

Asexuality/ace spectrum/Grey-A (canon says he had no interest in girls/boys looking at him and no GF/BF is mentioned in the books)

Gay (for RJL - the whole “embraced like bros, Lie Low At Lupin’s, 40 line stare, buying presents together” etc)

Straight (he’s got posters of muggle women and motorbikes on his wall)

Bi/pan (both of the last two)

Personally I’ve read really excellent ace!Sirius and Blackinnon fics. And as you probably know, I personally think of Wolfstar as canon. @plecotusauritus explains it really well in a humerous post:

Plus, they are the star (brightest star Sirius) and moon (Moony) in canon. And JKR herself confirmed lycanthropy = equivalent of AIDS in 1980s etc (yeah I know, it’s not great and in fact terrible/horrible comparison when you add Greyback etc; but anyway the AIDS link unwittingly despite herself gave Remus a non-straight background, in fact the way she wrote Remus and Sirius had the director assume Wolfstar was canon!)

Having said all that, in canon, while the classmate was ogling Sirius, he was completely oblivious of her interest as he was too busy staring at James Potter. Ahem. Make of that what you will…!

I completely respect you thinking he never had a romantic partner. Who knows? JKR says that he was too busy playing hard/messing with his bros on his flying motorbike and fighting a war to want any serious relationship. She doesn’t confirm did he have one night stands or other types of encounters. And most people at this stage don’t really care what JKR thinks of Sirius.

The whole point of fandom and shipping and fanfics is to imagine/reimagine all the massive gaps in our knowledge of a character. It’s ok not to stick to the canon info, otherwise the fics we read would be extremely limited, short, and all very similar and boring after a while. I personally prefer when a character’s personality isn’t changed completely (ie when they retain the features that make them recognisable from the original story). But I am very happy to alter other aspects of them - like their race, colour, sexuality, religion etc. Also if you are writing a comedic piece, the characters will not be written the same way as when you write a more dramatic/in depth/ Angsty fic or a very fluffy one?

Everyone should feel free to use their imagination and also not worry about people bullying them for their alternative views. We should all be secure enough in our views that we don’t feel the need to bully others who disagree with us. I’m sorry if that’s happened to you or to people you know 💗💗💗💗💗💗

#janey mac #sirius black #the amount of asks I’m getting is bonkers but also love it!#ask away!#bullying will not be tolerated #I ship Wolfstar 🥰🥰🥰🥰#but ship and let ship #kindness is underrated

40 notes · View notes

lila-rae · 11 months

Note

Do you think it’s problematic for an actress or an actor to make a sex scene and have your body seen everywhere and forever? And I know and I completely agree that an actor and his character are not at all the same person but for your bf/gf it’s not still weird and uncomfortable to see the person you like “fucking” in front of the camera? I really want to see your shot on this :)

No. It’s acting.

But let’s dig a little deeper.

1. Regardless of relationship status wether married, engaged, dating, sutustionshiping, your body is your own. No one has the right to your body but you and you have every right to decide who gets to view it and when. It’s all about consent and if they’re fine with it that’s all that matters.

2. A big part of consuming media like television, film, plays, etc… is something called suspension of disbelief. Meaning they want you to think things that aren’t real are. But they still aren’t real. There were really dinosaurs eating people in Jurassic World. Rachel McAdams didn’t actually get hit by a bus. And people having sex on screen aren’t actually having sex. So you’re not watching you SO fucking anyone on camera. You’re watching your partner at work in a simulated scene for the purpose of a story.

3. Sex scenes/anything remotely intimate are always heavily choreographed with an intimacy coordinator. There are so many barriers placed and modesty garments utilized so that the talent is comfortable. They not even getting close enough to where you’d be able to feel a real life erection .

4. It comes down to communication and trust. If you’re in a relationship hopefully you’re having open and honest communication and fully trust that your partner isn’t crossing any boundaries that have been decided on together. If you’re dating an actor you also need to have realistic boundaries. Saying “You can never kiss anyone for your job” isn’t realistic and if you feel that strongly you shouldn’t date an actor.

I’m not even an actor but I kissed a kid in my theater directing class for a scene in college and guess what my husband didn’t care because it was a school assignment. There comes a time where you just have to be secure in your relationship.

39 notes · View notes

makur0 · 2 years

Note

OK HI FEMSTARS ANON HERE!!! can i req femstars!mayoi sitting on her gfs face until she’s overstimulated? thank you and have a good day ^_____^!

“I really want to try it…”

synopsis — it’s known that your girlfriend keeps her wants and needs to herself. but how do you react when she wants to sit… on your face? [femstars! mayoi ayase x fem! reader]

content warning — nsfw, mdni. sub? mayoi, face sitting, overstimulation, praise

author’s note — first femstars! I’m really excited about this cause it’s also my first subby character, which I’m literally drooling for… (RUSHED)

word count — 824

YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP AS SOON AS YOU SAW HER.

Even in your tired state as you picked up your girlfriend, Mayoi Ayase, from idol practice, you noticed her uncertainty when she didn’t meet your gaze, or when she hesitated when she embraced you.

The car ride home was quiet too, Mayoi scrunched over as she gazed out the window while you drifted into your headspace, your body going on autopilot as you drove the both of you home.

“Can I —”

“Uh, hm?” You jerked yourself out of your thoughts, turning to the purple-haired female. She twisted her slender fingers together, her chin trembling. “What’s up?’

“I-” Mayoi started, secretly glad that you couldn’t see her flushed face. “I want...”

“Of course,” You answered immediately, making her scrunch her face in embarrassment and frustration. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

“It’s not- really a material matter,” She laughed anxiously, her heartbeat quickening as you pulled into the driveway of your shared house. “It’s something from you...”

“What is it then?”

Mayoi took a deep breath, then let everything rush out. “IwantyoutoletmesitonyourfaceIknowI’mdisgustingandterribleand-”

“Whoa, whoa,” You calmed down the nearly-hyperventilating idol. “Hon, relax. And don’t degrade yourself like that.”

She internally wailed. Why out of all things she understands that?!

“M’sorry if I sould weird and creepy and all,” She mumbled. “But I really really really wanna try... uhm... face-sitting?”

Your face turned slack, a blush rising in your cheeks. Of course, Mayoi instantly freaked out and started ranting out an apology, but her voice was drowned out by your thoughts.

“Y-you really want to...?”

“Agh! O-of course we don’t have to! I’m sorry for bringing this up...” She trailed off with a whine, tugging at her braid.

Then, something completely unexpected happened. An excited yell came out of you, slapping your hands against the car wheel which activated the horn, thoroughly scaring your girlfriend.

“Of course!” You cheered, your joyous expression aloof. “I can’t believe that you’re initiating something like this, ‘cause I was worried you weren’t ready! Oh, honey, yes!! FUCK YEAH, MY GIRLFRIEND’S NOT A VAN-”

“I- s-shh...” She tried to calm you down, trying to avoid angry neighbors at their door tomorrow morning. “Please...?”

“Oop- haha, sorry,” You let out an apologetic laugh. “But of course, sweetheart, I’m so glad you’re opening up. Just let me get settled then we’ll do it, m’kay?”

---

“A-are you sure I won’t suffocate you??”

You let out a chuckle, your breath tickling Mayoi’s exposed thighs. The both of you were stripped down to your garments, the other’s underwear sitting next to you on the bed. For somebody who suggested this, she sure was reluctant to actually set herself on you.

Trailing kisses on her inner thighs, you smiled to yourself as she let out a shaky exhale. “C’mon, hon. You suggested this, so it’s up to you now. You can back out anytime, though.”

Mayoi really couldn’t take you seriously as she was staring at you, your lusty gaze on her exposed sex making her feeling slightly embarrassed... and aroused.

It took a few minutes, which felt like hours to you, but she finally drifted close enough to your mouth for you to stick your tongue out and prod at her clit. A muffled moan left her, and immediately your lower gaze was blacked out as Mayoi sat and even grinded herself against your mouth, her voice rising.

Immediately matching with her pace, you wrapped your arms around her legs and dug right in, your nose tickling your clit as you shoved your tongue into her hole. Much to your surprise unhinged moans left your girlfriend instead of squeaky, muffled ones you imagined (shh she don’t have to know about your sessions), but however they came out it was pure golden music to your ears.

Mayoi was now downright humping your face, her eyes glued shut as she viciously chased her orgasm. She didn’t have the need to be so enclosed around you, so she let her ‘dark, disgusting’ self take the wheel. And to be completely honest, it felt so good...

A hummed moan left her, and you felt her tighten around her tongue and her legs jerk around your grip. You slowed your pace in consideration for the female, but she had other plans. She kept her wild pace, if not faster, and grinded against your face through her orgasm into overstimulation, her moans high-pitched and needy.

And holy fuck was this hot to you. If you knew about your girlfriend’s freaky side before, you really wouldn’t have felt guilty or weird trying out unusual things whenever you were home alone. The rising question on your mind was how on earth she hid it so easily.

“Mhph~! Uhuu...” The female panted, her back arching as she stubbornly powered through the overstimulation and sliding back into pleasure. “Yes yes yes~”

Her boldness was really making you feel insecure. But you couldn’t deny how hot it was.

#enstars smut #ensemble stars smut #ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #enstars #ensemble stars #mayoi ayase #mayoi ayase smut #femstars #mayoi ayase x reader

174 notes · View notes

lavender-annd-lilac · 1 year

Text

🎁 Holiday Gifting Guide 🎁

(Fic Rec Edition!!)

Do you put the "PRO" in procrastination? Are you reading this on today, December 24, 2022 instead of scrambling to get all the gifts you haven't got yet?

Well you made the right choice, because I have the PERFECT gifting recommendations for you!

From the bottom of the heart that I may or may not have, please enjoy 🖤

See the rest of my fic recs HERE

I have linked each fic with my comments attached, but I also put a warning (?) if you might want to skip the commentary

Little White Lies

By @cockslutpadalecki

Pairing: Dark!Catfish!Ransom x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you don’t like Rick Astley

Who it’s for:

The "practical" gift giver

This kind of person gives you...A new toaster oven because you wrecked yours in the sink when your bagels started burning! A new humidifier bc your house is dry af! A new set of tableware bc you break everything and now just eat soup out of the can with a straw!

Not the most thrilling unboxing experience, but honestly, it’s shit that you actually need but probably would never have made time to get for yourself bc you are too busy reading fics on Tumblr.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

This gift will let them know you are very aware that that people have it worse out there. You’re basically saying, "I appreciate this family size pack of 3-ply toilet paper, because even though my disappointment was through the roof when I opened this big ass present I thought was going to be something epic, at least I’m not stuck in a hotel bc I got catfished over 3 months by some trust fund prick". A sentiment that truly encapsulates everything about the holiday season, and the gratitude you feel towards human kind.

The time Brock Rumlow broke a rule *

(drabble from the ongoing “Penthouse” series)

By @kinanabinks

Pairing: sex worker!fem!reader x multiple characters (*not a Brock x Reader fic)

Skip over my comments if: you hate hot dogs 🌭

Who it’s for:

The last minute gift giver

You know that person that gives you things they obviously bought at the gas station on the way home? Like, a selection of snacks, beef jerky, candy, and a couple lottery tickets?

Well, if you think about it, this forgetful person is the other side of the coin with has your procrastinating face on the front! They may only have remembered at the last possible moment, but they still cared enough to give you a random assortment of items packaged together as a cohesive “present” even though you both know what really happened. But still! They were willing to endure the shame and ridicule you surely put them through afterwards, and basically give you this leverage to hold over them in the future.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

It’s also about someone coming through and being there when you need them. Plus, if they don’t like it (cut them out of your life if they don’t like this fic tbh), you can always bring up the fact that their present was shit, so they have no business complaining about this wonderful work of fiction.

Stained like Georgia Clay

(ongoing series)

By @georgiapeach30513

Pairing: Cole Turner x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you are a cop

Who it’s for:

The nostalgic gift giver

A game boy colour from the 1990’s. Those roller skates with 4 wheels that I feel like people don’t really skate with. A lava lamp. This is for the person who loves the way things used to be - the person who always carries a quarter or two to use a phone booth “just for fun” bc you never know when they will vanish.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

Why not indulge them with some of the same nostalgia by introducing them to this delightful series steeped in old fashioned small town charm, with a hint of excitement for the future. Wow, that's so on point!! You really are the best gift giver!!

Ranking biggest and baddest

(HC from ongoing series “All That Ultraviolence”)

By @the-iceni-bitch

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x gf!law student reader, plus a LOT of other CE/SS characters, and a partridge in a pear tree Henry Cavil one

Skip over my comments if: you're a coward that doesn't want a peak inside my brain

Who it’s for:

Yourself!!

That’s right! Treat yo self this holiday season bc you deserve it!!! And you can quote me on that!! Show this to your boss/overbearing parent/pain in the butt child/anyone else that is giving you a hard time! If they have any questions, my ask box is open.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

We’ve all seen that tumblr post at some point - the one that’s like “I read too many stories as a kid and now I’m emotionally burnt out so I can only read about the same 2 idiots falling in love over and over again”.

Well, if you are one of those burnouts, this is for you. I mean it’s not technically a fic, but at a time where we choose to believe in immaculate conception, flying reindeer, and benevolent home invaders, let’s not fuss about it.

If you love reading about two people falling in love ad nauseam, what about 9+ variations of 3 actors characters with varying degrees of affection for YOU. Plus, each with their own distinct personality, relationship dynamic, and and dick size! All described in detail for your reading pleasure! (you can find that last one for yourself in the author’s masterlist, like an Easter egg hunt!)

Keep Running Back

By @slyyywriting

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you don’t reduce, reuse, and recycle

Who it’s for:

The regifter

This person give you things that have obviously been regifted. A “worlds best boss” mug from your relative you see 3 times a year at most? Men’s basketball shorts that don’t fit you with the logo of a sports team you don’t know about? An item that still has a card attached with the original person’s name on it bc they forgot to remove it before re-gifting?

Why it’s the perfect gift:

It’s about things coming back into your life unexpectedly, and how it can be super disruptive and fuck up your routine. But also since it’s Xmas, it has smut and kind of a happy ending. So there, you aren’t being entirely petty (unlike the person that gave you a box of chocolates that expired last year).

The Way Home

By @delaber

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you believe in the curse of “The Scottish Play” (Macb*th)

Who it’s for:

The gift card giver

Steam gift cards, Sephora gift cards, gift cards you can use at like 18 different restaurants or 16 different stores own by the same giant business conglomerate, whatever is vaguely in your interest, there's a gift card for it!!

Now, some people may think this is a boring gift. But it’s basically cash money, so if you find that boring, feel free to send me all your boring currency.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

The person that gives you gift cards is doing you a solid. It's not something you have to worry about returning, or bringing out of storage each time this person visits your house so you can pretend you don't hate it. It's basically unconditional love, just like the reader in the fic has for Bucky.

If Only

By @littlelioncub43

Pairing: Best friend!Jake Jensen x Female!Reader, Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Skip over my comments if: you think Orpheus should suffer for eternity bc he took a teeny tiny little peak behind him

Who it’s for:

The person that already has everything

Can’t get them ANYTHING bc they have it all? Man, if only you were super wealthy maybe you could afford to give them an expensive gift, like some Gucci loafers, or a ticket to Taylor Swift's upcoming tour … oh wait, they already have all that shit.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

Since you are such a considerate person, you want to give them something money can’t buy... an ~experience. And not just any experience, no, you’re going to treat them to something completely new, something they’ve never felt before

So go ahead, gift them this fic and watch their world crumble as they experience angst and despair. You can even emphasis your point by including a festive card with the following season's greetings: This is how it feels when you can't get what you want in life!! When the object of your desires lies just beyond your reach!! This is how us ordinary people feel when we don’t have enough change to afford a little Starbucks treat at the end of the day.

Unsolicited

(ongoing series)

By @darkficsyouneveraskedfor

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you are Emily Blunt. I just feel like what I wrote might give you the impression that I’m obsessed with you or something, when really I’m just like your biggest fan.

Who it’s for:

The person that insists on not receiving presents

This is for the smug asshole who thinks they are above material items. The, “I’m just thankful to be healthy and happy” person. The person who acts like there is a special VIP lounge in heaven, with a table reserved just for them, and unlimited bottle service. The person that might actually just be genuinely satisfied with their life... but still, they shouldn't rub it in your face with their radiant happiness and cheerful disposition SMH. Just take the damn gift I didn't want to get you anyway, and give a half-hearted "thanks, I love it" like every other normal unhappy person on autopilot during this time of year.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

"Thankful to be healthy and happy”?? Well, not for much longer dude, bc this isn’t a present. It’s a clever little series that will worm its way into your soul like a Katy Perry pop song, and make you question what you find appealing or attractive in other people. Happy and healthy? More like deeply confused and aroused. Get ready to fight the demons of desire that lurk deep within you.

The Magic Box

By @rustytricycle

Pairing: Dark!Terry the Terrific x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you don’t believe in magic, or you don’t want to find out how David Copperfield does that one trick where he "teleports" like a dozen audience members to Hawaii in 5 minutes

Who it’s for:

The smartass that always manages to guess what the present is before unwrapping it

Why do they insist on doing this shit? MK Ultra has been shut down dude, remote viewing isn't a marketable asset anymore. No one is impressed. No ones enjoys watching you shake, smell, and squint at the box for 10 minutes when we all just want to get this family gathering over with so we can go home and watch Netflix.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

Whether they are actually gifted with ESPN powers, x-ray powers, or being a nosy bitch powers, this magical gift is sure to surprise them. They will never see it coming. Just like the reader in this fic hahaha!

Teacher’s Pet

By @whateveriwant

Pairing: Professor!Bucky Barnes x Student!Reader

Skip over my comments if: you are a university professor who thinks it is reasonable to make your students literally wait WEEKS to get their exams graded, when the grading process is just running those fill in the bubble sheets through a computer

Who it’s for:

The person that gives the gift of “a donation to [insert charity of THEIR choice here ]”

Wow. Maybe this is the relative who has never forgiven you for not going to church anymore after you discovered you had more important things to do with your time, so she gives you a receipt for some missionary project that seems a bit sketchy. Or maybe it's the relative always posting misinformation of facebook, who makes a donation to a political party/politician you do not support in your name. Whatever it is, this is a “charity” or “cause” you would rather not be associated with.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

This isn’t actually a petty move. It’s giving them a sign from the universe (via you), that what they are doing is not cool. I mean, of course you could always confront them directly and have a discussion about it, but that’s not really a gift. Who wants “a conversation” as a holiday gift? No, you are going to send them this delightfully unhinged fic from a burner an email with the subject line: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. If you want to write anything in the email, it should preferably be in comic sans for the extra touch of je ne sais pas.

And they won’t know what’s happening either! If they respond with ????, don’t answer. Let them wonder if [email protected] sent it to the wrong person, if [email protected] really knows anything incriminating, or if there is an evil doppelgänger out there ruining their reputation.

Candy canes and hot cocoa

(from her “Make it a December to Remember” Christmas series*)

By @imyourbratzdoll

Pairing: Elf!Ransom x Reader

Skip over my comments if: your name starts with “J” and ends with “esus Christ”. Some of my private and confidential communication with my boy Baphomet is included here, and that’s none of your business tbh.

* these are all cute af and you need to read every single one… my other fav elves are Steve and Lee

Who it’s for:

The person that gives the gift of “a donation to [insert charity of YOUR choice here ]”

While your first reaction might be disappointment bc you really wanted that Chanel purse or Valentino gown, after thinking about it, this gift is actually really sweet!!

This person not only knows you well, but they are also helping you curb your addiction to material items. AND they are basically being generous in your name so you don’t have to do it yourself. Wow, they are really racking up those karma points for you!!

Why it’s the perfect gift:

This person deserves the cutest goddamn Christmas fic I have ever had the courage to openly admit I enjoyed (just don’t tell anyone I said that). In fact, your gift might even be better than what they got for you! So don’t forget to tell them that it’s ok, and you appreciate their effort.

On read

By @straywords

Pairing: Stalker! Bucky Barnes x Reader

Skip over my comments if: you are one of those guys who tries to get onlyfans content for free

Who it’s for:

The distant but wealthy family member that always sends a card with a reasonable amount of money inside

Although… I feel like they haven’t really considered the inflated cost of living these days. So maybe it’s time to adjust for that? I mean, get with the times, right? They should consider how your purchasing power could be affected here.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

This one gets kind of spicy but tbh if they are a distant family member it should be ok. Plus they might appreciate it and give you more money next year. Who knows. Or they might come back at you asking for more fic recs and then you can charge a finders fee.

Starting Gate

By @navybrat817brat817

Pairing: Motocross!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Skip over my comments if: you don’t love that I love Nat

Who it’s for:

The generous, well intentioned gift giver that unfortunately gets it wrong, like, every damn time

This is the kind aunt who gets you a nice pair of pearl earrings for your un pierced ears, a cute designer iPhone case for your android (tbh that’s on u for choosing the wrong phone tho… lol jk), a lifetime bark box subscription for your cat, or even a new car with stick shift, when you can only drive an automatic.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

Show them what a thoughtful person (Nat) would really do for their friend. Like, hint hint, next year I expect you to introduce me to my future soulmate, ok??

John the Baptist

By: definitely not me lol who even suggested that get outta here u lying liar

Pairing: Priest!Bucky x no one bc he’s a man of God you fucking perverts

Skip over my comments if: I didn't leave any comments bc I feel like this drabble speaks for itself tbh

Who it’s for:

The “joke” gift giver

We all have (or had) this friend. The one that gives you a family size package of adult diapers, or an enormous bottle of denture cleaning solution, or anything else that is funny when it happens to other people, but not cool when it's your turn to enjoy life - i.e. it sucks that you got them a nice sweater while they got you a package of XS condoms and a bottle of cranberry juice.

Why it’s the perfect gift:

Why not turn the tables this year! Fight humour with humour. Spread the joy! And ok, am I recommending my own “fic”? For the last time, NO! Omg… like seriously who said that? I would NEVER self promote on this most humble of holidays.

For an actual joke of a piece of writing tho, (that was published on a legit platform btw) check out this review of Seb Stan in Picnic from the Hollywood Reporter

Skip over my comments if: you wrote that article and stand by your statements regarding abdominal muscles

Slow Hands

By @heli0s-writes

Pairing: Steve Rogers x his hands x his imagination?

DON’T skip these comments if: you work for the Onion News. Seriously guys, I think I would be at least an average level employed to add to your team.

Who it’s for:

The selfish romantic partner that gets themselves a gift, and then tries to pass it off as a “couples/bonding experience” like you wouldn’t immediately see through that shit

“Babe, I got us tickets to see that sports team I know you couldn’t care less about!! You know, the one that I always ditch you for when they have a game that I want to watch with the guys, even though we already made reservations at a restaurant that’s not Olive Garden for once! This is going to be so much fun for us!! Oh ya, don’t forget to dress hot in case they show us on the kiss cam”

Why it’s the perfect gift:

Now if you’re familiar with this fic I already know what you’re going to say,

“But this is a beautiful masterpiece!!! Why would I allow my inconsiderate jerk of a partner the privilege of reading it??”

Well, first of all, “beautiful masterpiece”? I mean… that’s just YOUR opinion man. (Lol jk it is truly a work of art)

But listen, in the xmas spirit, I think you can find it within yourself to turn the other cheek, and show that even though they might not give a damn about what you enjoy, you’re still going to be gracious, thoughtful, and kind.

Plus your partner will probably need some cheering up after you dump their ass live on national tv when they propose to you with a dollar store ring pop* on the kiss cam. 😘

*lol jk. Nothing against ringpops tbh. I’d take one of those solid lumps of corn syrup and food colouring over a blood diamond any day. In fact, I’d take one over a regular diamond bc engagement rings are one of the biggest marketing scams ever, created by a Machiavellian cartel (*cough* De Beers *cough*) with a monopoly on the market, who purposely restricts supply and creates a false sense of scarcity in order to justify massively inflating the price of these inherently worthless chunks of compressed carbon to ensure profit and distract you from the fact that diamonds are a depreciating asset backed by arbitrary claims of “investment value” that come from the same greedy, lying, fatcats that have poured millions of advertising dollars to convince you that you’re a failure in life if you don’t have or can’t afford to buy a common rock (that’s right, common, plentiful, more numerous in quantity than tickets to the latest TSwift tour) the size of an grotesquely enlarged, genetically modified blueberry.

Thanks for reading! And thanks to all the authors!

& ty @firefly-graphics for the dividers!!

(Except whoever wrote that shitty John the Baptist drabble)

If for whatever reason you feel uncomfortable with having your fic included in this, the holy grail of gift guides, send me a DM along with $300 worth of doge coin haha kidding y’all, I only accept cash.

LOL JK, send me a DM and I will replace the title of your fic AND your @username with 3 emojis of my choice.

#fic recs #personally curated fic recs

50 notes · View notes