#like I don't think I'd have been able to figure out how such a pose works
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gale's early access dialogue transcripts - part 1: the three tadpole dreams
in early access, the dreams would only happen, if you used your tadpole powers, be that via the conversation options or the skills in your skill bar. much like the guardian now, you could customise your dream visitor. however, before you did so, the game posed a different question to you:
who do you dream of at night?
the question set the tone for the dreams: the dream figure's role wasn't so much protection as it was seduction. seduction to welcome this newfound power and to use it.
for context, i'd advise you to watch the three tadpole dreams that the protag would have in early access here.
it allows you to get a feeling for what the companions may have seen as origins at that time weren't yet implemented. as far as i know only ast*rion's first dream has been partially datamined.
each companion used to have a specific dream figure that was related to their unique backgrounds - a stark contrast with how it is now, a random figure with no true connection to them, which i think makes very little sense.
gale's dream figure took the form of mystra in early access.
i have compiled the three possible conversations you were able to have with him, following those dreams:
first dream - the first dream would usually happen after you sought your first cure (ie nettie the healer)
Gale: Good morning! And it truly is, isn't it? A very, very good morning. Do you feel as chipper as I do? The night brings council, or so the saying goes, but last night had quite a bit more in store, wouldn't you agree? How's that for feeling better?
Tav (Option 1): I see I'm not the only one who woke with new-felt powers?
Gale: Hardly.
Tav (Option 2): It's remarkable how much better I feel after feeling so sick earlier.
Gale: Remarkable - or perhaps we should call it suspicious.
Tav (Option 3): Those are a lot of questions so early in the morning
Gale: That's because there's so much to ask.
Tav (Option 4): Why don't we skip to the part where we have some breakfast?
Gale: Let's settle another appetite first.
Gale: There is a glow about you, no doubt about me too. We feel... startling well. And yet there's a certain look in your eyes. The far off distance of a haunting. Which begs yet another question: did you too have such puzzling dreams?
Tav (Option 1): Actually my dreams were quite delightful.
Gale: Surely not the only adjective that springs to mind.
Tav (Option 2): You nod in silence.
Gale: Same here. Perhaps. The jury's still out.
Tav (Option 3): Mind your own business, Gale.
Gale: Not a morning person, I see. But those eyes of yours speak volumes.
Gale: What I saw surpassed the vivid. The voice was too true, the touch too tantalising, I can tell you felt the same. Sought out in the night by... what? An illusion, or a promise?
Tav (Option 1): I don't see the distinction.
Gale: An illusion is only a lie, but a promise is a truth that may yet come to pass.
Tav (Option 2): It felt more like being prey cornered by a predator.
Gale: All too apt an analogy.
Tav (Option 3): It was more than a promise: these powers are real.
Gale: You have me there. As for the lure of the touch, the kiss.
Gale: Let's agree that at the very least there was the lure of a promise. The touch, the kiss, the everything... Did you relent or resist?
Tav (Option 1): I relented.
Gale: It felt impossible not to. I did as well.
Tav (Option 2): Lie and say you resisted.
Gale: Then you're stronger than me.
Tav (Option 3): Lie and say you remained silent.
Gale: I could not. I relented. It felt impossible not to.
Tav (Option 4): How about you telling me what you did?
Gale: I relented. It felt impossible not to.
Tav (Option 5): The kiss, you say. Now I know why you're so chipper.
Gale: The dream wasn't just about power, it was about desire.
Gale: It was an expert, this apparition. First the seduction, then the spurning, then that teasing souvenir. 'You are not ready, I will return when you are'. That's what I was promised. We have some restless nights ahead of us.
Gale: Perhaps it's time indeed. The power to bend wills is a mind flayer speciality. We're the ones who are truly at risk.
Power is a treacherous thing. Sometimes it makes you betray yourself. (end)
second dream (would trigger after using tadpole powers)
Gale: Good morning. I'm sorry, but I'm not in the best of moods. I tire of these dreams. Dreams. The word implies desire, but we're being played for fools. These are nothing but delusions.
Tav (Option 1): What makes you so sure they're delusions?
Gale: [Jump to These dreams...]
Tav (Option 2): I recall you being a lot more enthusiast after our first collective dream.
Gale: I never said I'm not among the fool.
Tav (Option 3): The power we're given is real, and there's no denying that.
Gale: It’s not because they’re real, that they don’t deceive. Give it candy and a child stops asking questions.
Gale: These dreams are too good to be true, and I can tell you why. Because they promises are perfect, and in perfection lies their flaw. It's the tadpole reading our every desire, but they don't read between the lines. They don't know some things are impossible. They don't know that... They don't know.
Tav (Option 1): Gale, who is the apparition in your dreams?
Gale: She's... It doesn't matter. I just know her to be unreal.
Tav (Option 2): What's impossible about what you're been shown?
Gale: Forgiveness.
Tav (Option 1): I'll leave you to your ruminations.
Gale: Remember: these are nothing but delusions. Don't let the illithid's close readings persuade you of good intent.
Tav [if told about Mystra - Loss scene dependent]: So it's Mystra you see. Of course it is.
Gale: I... why, yes. Clearly the tadpole isn't the only one who can read me like a book. It's indeed Mystra I see. And yet it cannot be her. There was a time when I would have believed - but no longer. I told you that I lost her. Lost her favour and lost so many of the powers I took for granted. What magic I can still weave is met only with undercurrents of disappointing silence. Mystra has not changed her mind about me. That's how I know out dreams are delusions.
Tav [Persuasion check, if not told about Mystra - Loss scene has not yet happened]: Come, you can tell me. We're among friends here.
Gale [Success]: Very well. It's Mystra I see. And yet it cannot be her. There was a time when I would have believed - but no longer. Things were different once, between the goddess and me. But things have changed. The parasite has plans for us.
Gale: Suffice it to say she would not bestow upon me the favours promised in these dreams. That is how I know they are delusions. The parasite has plans for us, enacted through seduction and the promise of power. Don't be fooled. Behind the lips it wants us to kiss hide cold steel razor teeth. (end)
Gale [Failure]: Another time maybe. I've said too much already. Remember, these are nothing but delusions. Don't let the illithid's close readings persuade you of good intent.
Tav (Option 3): If you say so. Now let's get going.
Gale: Very well. (end)
third dream (would trigger after using tadpole powers again)
first variation: the player used the tadpole power
Gale: The dawn broke with glorious streaks of red and fading blues – and I've never felt more tired. More dreams. More visions. Have you finally seen that nothing good can come from using the parasite's powers?
Tav (Option 1): I'm sorry. I should have been more careful.
Gale: It's an all too easy mistake to make, but we have to fight the temptation. The parasite will divide us if we let it... and conquer next. Let's not give the damned thing what it wants. [Gained Approval] (end)
-
Tav (Option 2): I will exercise my powers as I see fit. It's not your call to make.
Gale: Don't you see? The parasite will divide us if we let it – and conquer next. Clearly we can consider the division accomplished. [Gained Disapproval] (end)
second variation: the player had gale use the tadpole powers
Gale: More dreams. More visions. More the fool me for having used the powers of the parasite again.
Tav (Option 1): Don't be too hard on yourself. When you're given power, it's only natural to exercise it.
Tav (Option 2): Foolishness I did not expect from you. You're putting us all at risk.
Gale: I should have been more cautious. The parasite will divide us if we let it – and conquer next. To make use of its powers was a mistake I don't intend to repeat – that much I can promise. (end)
if you want to watch and listen to gale discussing these dreams with the protag, you can do so here. this youtube video has all three conversations compiled in one.
coming up next:
-part 2: major cut scenes: the deer stew scene & the loss scene
-part 3: minor cut scenes: abandoned temple of jergal, failed to save arabella, talking to the paladins of tyr and agreeing to go after karlach, edowin and the tadpole reveal, mayrina giving ethel's wand to her or breaking it, handing astarion over to the gur or defending him, reaching the druid grove, killing lae'zel, reaching the goblin camp & looking for halsin, killing the druids, priestess gut & the brand & the cult of the absolute, dror ragzlin and talking to the dead mind flayer, ogre couple, necromancy of thay, ethel, zhentarim chest, myconid colony
-part 4: gale's condition & the way it was treated in early access
taglist: @chainsawmascara, @randomfanner, @tacogoats, @khajiit-necromancer, @gwinharper, @galesenchantedpanties, @swampfaerie, @ardently-queer, @nirraein, @gale-enjoyer, @xiv-wolfram, @kairoswouldnever
i thought i'd tag the people i'd seen taking an interest in my original post! if you want to be taken off the taglist, please let me know!
#gale dekarios#gale of waterdeep#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldurs gate 3#early access#ch: gale dekarios#vg: baldur's gate 3#series: baldur's gate#meta: mybg3#series: eadialogue
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Newborn
Pairing: Evan Hawkins x reader
Summary: Evan didn't think he could be any happier, but that all changes when he gets to hold his newborn son in his arms
Requested: Yes, by anonymous
Warnings: mentions of c-sections/surgery
Word Count: 1,165
"Hey beautiful," Evan greeted and peaked him head into our bedroom. "You up yet?"
"No," I grumble sleepily from where I was snuggled up in blankets. "I don't want to get up."
"But you have to get up," Evan retorted and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Today's the day! We're finally gonna get to meet our little munchkin!"
"Please stop calling the baby that," I beg. "I'm only excited for today because we'll finally give the baby a name, and then you don't have to use that ridiculous nickname."
"You secretly love it," Evan teased and leaned down to press a kiss to my forehead. "Now come on and get up. We've gotta be at the hospital in like an hour."
"Ugh," I groan and sit up. "All right. I'll get ready then."
"How are you not as excited as me right now?" Evan asked. "I'm freaking out!"
"I am excited, honey. Seriously," I assure him and send a small smile his way. "I'm just not excited for this surgery."
"I get that," Evan confessed and put his face down by my swollen stomach. "You just had to make things difficult, didn't you?"
"Babies are breech all the time, Ev," I notify him. "It's actually pretty common. But I'm glad the date is finally here because in a few months I can get back to work!"
Evan laughed. "You and your work, Y/n. You're a workaholic!"
"I'm not a workaholic. I just love my job!" I defend.
I was working as a firefighter at Firehouse 51 on Squad 3 when Evan and I had met. He had worked with Violet on Ambulance 61 for a few shifts while Sylvie was off in Oregon visiting Matt. We hit things off right away, and the rest was history. I hadn't been able to work on Squad 3 since I found out I was pregnant, so it's been about 9 months. Luckily, Chief Boden let me work in the office with Kylie so that I could still be around everyone.
"I know you do, Y/n," Evan confirmed and hopped off the bed. "I've got all of the hospital bags downstairs by the door, so as soon as you're ready, we can head to the hospital."
In no time, I was all dressed and got myself situated in the passenger seat of the car. Evan loaded the rest of our things into the backseat, and within half an hour, I was set up in my hospital room in the labor and delivery wing of Chicago Med. I was on my phone when Evan walked in with the ice chips I had asked for, and he set them down on the tray next to my bed.
"Thanks," I murmur and continuing typing away at the keypad on my phone.
"Who are you texting?" Evan inquired.
"I was texting my mother that we got to the hospital. But then Stella texted the group chat with me, Sylvie, and Vi, and now they're blowing it up with messages on how excited they are to meet the baby. The amount of emojis being used right now...." I trailed off and placed my phone on the table next to me. "I need a break."
"I think I can provide a distraction from that. Since the moment's finally here, what do you think? Boy or girl?" Evan posed.
"I know that you and all of the guys at 51 want it to be a boy," I bring up. "And the fact that your side of the family is mostly guys only helps with that."
"But?" Evan prompted.
"But nothing. I'd be happy with either," I admit. "I think a girl would be easier, especially if I'm gonna be doing this whole parenting by myself for the first few months."
"Whoa whoa whoa," Evan interrupted. "What gave you the idea that you'd be doing this all alone?"
"Well I just figured that it'd be hard for you to take all that time off," I reason.
"Y/n, you and I are in this together. I already put in time off for the first week after the baby is born, and after that I'll only be going in 3 days a week instead of 5 with shortened hours," Evan informed me.
"You're the best, Ev. I love you," I say and lean over to peck his lips.
"I love you too," Evan returned. "Not get some rest. You're gonna need it. That means you too, munchkin."
A Few Hours Later........
"You doing okay?" Evan asked from where he was seated next to my head in the operating room.
"Yeah," I reply. "I'm good. Are you okay? You look like you're about to start bouncing off the walls."
"I might just do that," Evan revealed jokingly as his foot tapped anxiously against the floor. Suddenly, it felt like a huge pressure was lifted off of me, and then crying pierced the air.
"Congratulations you guys. You're now the parents of a healthy baby boy," the doctor announced.
"Did you hear that, Y/n? We have a son," Evan gushed.
"You do. And he's beautiful," the nurse told us and placed the baby on my chest.
"He's got your nose, Ev," I note as I held the baby against me.
"That he does," Evan agreed and pressed a kiss to my head.
The next hour or so was a blur. The rest of the surgery went by pretty quickly, and before I knew it, we were back in the recovery room excited to spend time with our newborn. The nurse wheeled our son into the room and placed him into my arms, and the baby cooed softly.
"You guys have a beautiful son," the nurse asserted.
"Thank you. Um, our co-workers and family are waiting for a name and a picture," Evan claimed and held up my phone. "They can't come in until after work. Would you mind taking a picture for us?"
"I would love to," the nurse responded and took my phone. As soon as she took the picture, the nurse handed the phone back to Evan and excused herself from the room.
"All right dad. Here you go," I offer and pass him our baby in exchange for my phone. "I know you've been dying to hold him."
"Hey munchkin," Evan greeted softly and rocked the baby back and for.
"Evan, we agreed that once the baby was born you wouldn't call him that," I lecture.
"Sorry," Evan apologized and stared down at the baby lovingly. "Hey, James. Welcome to the world buddy."
As Evan was busy gushing over the baby, I was typing out a text message to all of Firehouse 51. They were very impatient, so I figured I should do this now rather than later. I sent the picture that the nurse had just taken, and below it I typed out a text before hitting send.
"Welcome the newest addition to the Firehouse 51 family, James Christopher Hawkins."
_________________________
Tag List:
@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13 @ncostin2001 @evangeline91 @just-arather-veryconfused-being @generalfarmmuffinagle @kaitlyn-marie-a @shywritermoon @jbbarnes212 @multifandom-loser @wanniiieeee @sesamepancakes @halstead-severide-fan @livinthevidaloca-ish @callmemana
#one chicago#one chicago x reader#one chicago imagines#one chicago imagine#chicago fire#chicago fire x reader#chicago fire imagines#chicago fire imagine#evan hawkins#evan hawkins x reader#evan hawkins imagines#evan hawkins imagine#x reader#imagine#imagines
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Can you give a few tips on digital art? I'd love to get into it but I'm not sure how to start, what equipment/apps do you use? Thank youu 💞
♡ 𝑫𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝑨𝒓𝒕 𝑻𝒊𝒑𝒔 ♡
Of course! I would love to give some digital art tips! My first tip is to just have fun! If you are drawing for yourself and just want to have fun, then draw however you want that makes it the most fun experience for you! ଘ( ･ω･)_/ﾟ･:*:･｡☆
𝑬𝒒𝒖𝒊𝒑𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔
I use Clip Studio Paint, for most of my digital paintings. Though I started off using Photoshop. I used to only use photoshop but I would not recommend it for beginners as it is expensive and difficult to learn. I would definitely recommend Clip Studio Paint as it's much cheaper and easier to learn.
I use the Huion Kamvas 13 drawing tablet. That is the link to the exact one I got from Amazon. It's a lot cheaper than Wacom tablets and it works just as good. I've been using this one for years and it's been great!
𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕
I would recommend starting by drawing what you see. What I mean by that, is look up photos of things and try to replicate them as much as you can. I did this for a long time (probably too long) but it helped me immensely. Because everything we draw is based on what we see, so if you can replicate that then you can draw anything.
For example, if you know you want to get really good at drawing Gyutaro, I would look up male bodies and draw them. (Real bodies, not drawings or cartoons).
𝑨𝒓𝒕 𝑺𝒕𝒚𝒍𝒆
This may be controversial, but personal art styles don't really exist. This is the first thing I learned in art school and I think it was one of the most important things I learned.
What I mean by this, is that no one owns any particular art style. An art style is developed in many ways but it mostly emerges from combining other art styles or stems from another art style.
People worry way too much about "finding their art style". Don't do this, it's a waste of time. After time each artist develops a way of drawing that comes naturally to them but that comes over many years, so don't try to force it to happen. And when it does happen, don't stick to one art style!
I would say it is most beneficial to teach yourself multiple art styles. Every time I start a new drawing I try to figure out what art style I want to draw in. I do this by going through the art I've saved on Pinterest. I'll see something I like and make a set of rules that I have to follow while drawing in order to replicate that specific art style.
Not only is it more fun being able to draw in multiple art styles, but it's necessary if you want a career in art. (By career I don't mean doing commissions, I mean being hired by a company to make art. Like a concept artist for example.)
If you're worried about what art styles to try, just try any one that catches your eye! Or you can start by trying to draw realism. That's what I did, and it's very difficult and time consuming but if you can master realism then you can succeed at almost any art style a lot easier.
𝑹𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒔
I cannot stress how important references are! If you do not use references when drawing then you are setting yourself up for failure.
References are photos you use to look at as a guide when drawing. For example, let's say I want to draw Gyutaro swimming in a pool. I'd look up photos (references) of Gyutaro so when I'm drawing him I can look back at them to make sure I am drawing him correctly. I would also look up photo's of a guy swimming, I would use this photo to guide me when drawing the pose and also when drawing the water etc.
So always use references!! And don't be afraid to copy poses either, it saves lots of time and is very helpful for learning how to draw anatomy. Don't be afraid to use yourself as a reference either.
For example, when I drew Gyutaro having a pillow fight I couldn't find a good reference for the pose that I had in mind. So I just took a photo of myself in that pose! I look nothing like Gyutaro, but a body is a body. I used my photo as a reference to draw the skeleton and then changed the body shape to match Gyutaro's.
𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 !!
My biggest tip for anyone, but especially beginners is to make guides before you draw any piece! Here is an example of one that I did for an assignment in my Manga Art class in college.
I wanted to do an art style similar to Death Note but I also wanted it to have a retro vibe too. So I made this Art style/Reference guide. I compiled images that represented the art style I was going for and took notes for things that I thought would be important to keep in mind when drawing.
I still do this a lot when drawing, especially if I'm trying out a new art style I'm not very familiar with.
𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑨𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒓𝒕
People always ask me how do I draw Gyutaro so accurately. Well, I'm about to tell you how!
I draw him all the time, so lot's of practice. But there is a certain thing I find really helps when trying to accurately draw a character's face.
We'll use Gyutaro as an example
Find a photo of Gyutaro's face that you want to practice with (not fanart, it must be either from the anime or the manga).
Look at the photo closely, and try to draw it as accurately as you can.
Now, on a new canvas, try to draw the same photo of Gyutaro again but without looking at the reference. (Just using your memory) And give yourself a time limit too, no longer than 5 minutes.
Compare your drawing to the photo. How accurate is it? Probably not very accurate yet, but that's ok! Look closely at your drawing and compare it to the original. What is wrong with it? Are the eyes too small? Is the mouth placed too high?
Figure out what is wrong and fix it next time. Repeat these steps until you are able to draw Gyutaro's face accurately without looking at the reference photo.
If you are still struggling after a while try tracing over the original image a few times. This can help you memorize the structure of his face.
It may take a while but eventually you'll get to the point where you are able to draw Gyutaro's face accurately without looking at the reference photo!
This tip works for everything by the way, not just character's faces. I use it for everything! I used to suck at drawing hands, so I did these steps but with a photo of a hand, and now I can draw hands! Use these steps for anything you feel is difficult for you to draw accurately. It's great for learning anatomy.
Here's an example of the final results when I did these steps. The drawing on the right is what I was able to do at the end just from memory.
ﾟ+*:ꔫ:*﹤ 𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝓨𝓸𝓾 ﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟ
I know I wrote a lot, but I hope these tips helped someone! And if you have any questions about anything I mentioned here, feel free to ask! (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥
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Some very late Ghost Halloween One Shots
(A/N: Hey there guys, gals, and non-binary pals! For starters, these are all going to be short, these are all going to be fluff, they're all going to be GN! Reader, let me know what I should call big posts like these with everyone. Secondly, Terzo isn't included in this because he's going to have his own separate fic that I plan on having up later tonight! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy!)
Primo:
You looked over your costume in the mirror, an absolutely elated expression on your face. "I can't wait to show Papa." You say out loud to yourself. You knew Primo didn't really celebrate Halloween, but he was always more than supportive of you showing off your costume to him. You couldn't help but let out a little squeal when you heard the door to your and Primo's quarters opening, knowing it was time for him to come back from his office.
"Sweetheart, I thought you'd be waiting to show off your costume, where are you?" You walk into the main room and pose for him. "My darling, you look absolutely wonderful!" He looks you over, marveling at every detail of your costume, making you giggle at his attentiveness. "You did a wonderful job on your costume." He pulls you into a hug, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. "You're going out with the Ghouls tonight, yes?" You nod, he holds you gently by the shoulders, keeping you just far enough to make eye contact with you. "Have fun and be safe my darling, I'll try to be up when you get home." He smiles warmly at you.
"Primo, mi amore, why don't you come with me tonight, just for an hour or two." You'd always ask Primo if he would like to join you when you went out. Typically, after a long hard day, he would be too tired and 'wouldn't want to hold you back', so he never comes. But, for once, he looked like he was actually considering it. "Please Primo, I'll miss you if you stay home." You put on your most convincing pout.
"For you my darling absolutely," he looks at you excitedly, "my Papal Paint can even pass as my costume." You laugh and hold onto his arm, the two of you heading out to meet the Ghouls. "I love you honey."
"I love you more." You say with a sly smile.
"I love you most." He kisses your cheek, earning another small laugh from you. You absolutely adored the Halloween you got to spend with your Papa.
Secundo:
Every Halloween with Secundo was always a party, both literally and figuratively. Secundo was always placed in charge of the Abbey's Halloween party. If anyone was going to be able to get strippers, drugs, and alcohol it would be him. So, there you sat, in the middle of an absolute rager, sitting comfortably in Secundo's lap. "I think I'm going to hand the party planning over to Terzo next year."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?" You tried to speak as clearly as possible over the loud music without absolutely screaming in his ear. "Papa, why don't we take this somewhere a little quieter." You say as you realize just how impossible it would be to have a conversation like this. You made your way to the one place hopefully no one was making out, hooking up, or doing drugs, Secundo's office. "You love planning your parties, why are you giving them up?"
"I... I just think I'd like to have a more domestic Halloween next year... with you." He beckons you closer, pulling you into his lap once more. "Next year I want the two of us to carve Pumpkins, to go apple picking, hand candy out to the trick or treaters."
You kiss his nose, "I think that sounds wonderful, hun. We can stay home and pretend to be an old married couple." He chuckles, kissing your forehead.
"Maybe we'll be married by then so we won't have to pretend." You exchange a short sweet kiss.
"Would you like to enjoy the rest of your last Halloween party my love?"
"Only if you'll be by my side darling."
Copia:
Since Copia was the active Papa this Halloween season you had been tasked with passing out candy to the children that visited the Abbey. You hummed contently as you packed up small goodie bags to fill up your bowl with. You couldn't help but smile at the feeling of his arms wrapping around your waist. He places a gentle kiss against your neck, "How can I help my love?" You hum, turning to give him a kiss on the cheek.
"Did you finish putting up the outside decorations?" You can't help but laugh as he spins you around and pulls you to him, dancing you around the kitchen.
"Yes my darling, everything's put up, the lights are on, the skeletons and the jack o lanterns are out." You smile and sway with him, you always loved dancing with him. "You need help with the goodie bags, and then we just need to put our costumes on." You let out a happy sigh, holding him close.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" He chuckles, holding you tightly.
"You remind me every single day my darling, I love you." He smiles, allowing the two of you to finish up the goodie bags for the trick or treaters. You couldn't help but smile as you watched Copia hand out the bags to the children, he had such a way with kids, they all loved him. He stood and turned to look at you, a playful grin on his lips. "Now what is that look for?" He pulls you into his arms, leading you back inside.
"You're just such an amazing Papa." He smiles, kissing you on the forehead. You couldn't believe how lucky you were.
Sodo:
You pressed your back up against the heavy wooden door after you had made your way outside, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. The garden was silent aside from the muffled music blasting inside the Abbey A chill clung to your sweat dampened skin as you made your way further from the building, eventually finding yourself sitting on one of the many low walls around the flowerbeds. You had started your night with relatively high hopes, most of it thanks to you pre gaming with your friends. You were finally going to confess your feelings for Sodo tonight. You walked into the party with your head held high, your friends at your side. It was pretty easy to spot Sodo, he was almost always with Aether which made it pretty easy to find the two of them in a crowd. You managed to fight your way through the dance floor to get over to them. Sodo's eyes raked over your frame momentarily. "(Y/N)..." he starts, "you look stunning." His bright eyes locked with yours, every word in your vocabulary suddenly leaving your body. You stood frozen, searching for something, anything to say to him.
"I just wanted to say hi." You blurt out suddenly. "I was actually just about to step outside... take a break." You laugh nervously.
"What? You just got here!" He shouts over the music. "Why don't you stay and dance?"
"I'll come find you later." Without giving him time to respond, knowing he would somehow convince you to stay, you pushed through the crowd until you reached where you were sitting now.
"Hey," You jumped slightly at the sudden voice. Eyes darting up to find Sodo, tail darting from side to side. "Are you alright?" You nod. Sodo motions to the seat next to you, you signal it's okay for him to sit. He joins you on the wall. "You know, the things people like to say about me make me seem kind of scary. But, I promise, I'm not that bad. I feel like you get scared to talk to me sometimes. I'm not gonna flip out, man." You laugh at his exaggerated hand movements as he explains himself. His eyes kept searching around your face, looking anywhere but your eyes.
"You're cute when you're nervous." You blush as the statement leaves your mouth. "I'm sorry-"
"Don't be." He smiles gently at you. You shiver as the wind picks up. Sodo moves in to wrap an arm around you, "may I?" You nod, his body melding into yours, instantly warming you. Being a fire ghoul definitely had its perks. He held you against him, eyes still searching your face. His lips pulled into a small, content smile. Your cheeks flushed from either the cold or from being this physically close to him, neither of you could tell.
"Sodo?" Your voice comes out barely above a whisper. He hums softly in response. "I think I might be falling in love with you." His eyes finally met yours, you felt his hands grow warmer, almost uncomfortably hot against your skin. You could see him searching for words. A smile suddenly broke out on his face, an excited laugh leaving his lips.
"Really? Y...You like me?" You nod, his smile growing even more. You couldn't help but lean into his touch as he gently rests his hand on your cheek. He tilts your head slightly, allowing his lips to effortlessly land on yours. A jolt ran down your spine at the feeling of him kissing you. He wrapped his arm tighter around you, pulling you even closer, the two of you eventually separating for a much needed breath. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" You felt drunk from his kiss alone, you still couldn't believe that had actually just happened.
"Give me a second, I can't think straight." You both laughed, you couldn't have imagined a more perfect confession.
Aether:
If you knew one thing about Aether it's that he was always down for a couples costume, this year was no different. The issue you both ran into is you would rather die than be something cliche you had seen a thousand times, Aether thought the concept as a whole was absolutely hilarious. "What if we went as Mario and Princess Peach, I want to be Peach though." He gives you the brightest grin he could manage.
"Baby, do you realize how many other Siblings are going to go as those two characters. You know I don't want to-"
"I know, I know, but it's a cute idea. This is my first Halloween with my partner, I want us to be cute." You can't help but smile at the sentiment. You sigh, walking up behind Aether who was currently digging through your closet for ideas, and wrapping your arms around his waist. "What about a Spiderman themed couples costume, you like Spiderman."
"I'll have to try and fix the costume, your arms busted the seams on the sleeves last time, remember?" You give his bicep a squeeze, placing a gentle kiss on his arm afterwords. "My big strong Ghoul." He blushes down at you, Aether always got embarrassed when you brought up how strong he was. You checked the time, "we still have a couple hours, why don't we take a little shopping trip?"
Aether nods, "we don't have to do anything cliche if you don't-"
"You said it yourself, it's our first Halloween together as a couple. I want people to get cavities from how sweet we are." Aether's whole body shakes with a chuckle.
"Have I told you that I'm in love with you?" You blush and grin up at him.
"You have, but it wouldn't hurt to hear it again." You pull him into a sweet and tender kiss, you couldn't have asked for a better boyfriend this Halloween.
Swiss:
You couldn't see straight the bass from the music was booming so loud. You were currently dancing with Cirrus, Cumulus, and Sunshine, waiting for the rest of your group to finally come join you. Swiss was falling a little behind, his costume was taking a little longer to fully put on than he anticipated. He told you to head on out with everyone else while he finished getting ready, he'd catch up with you in a bit. Feeling an all too familiar pair of hands slide onto your waist you couldn't keep a smile off your face. "You look incredible babe!" He spins you around to face him, your arms instantly wrapping around his neck as he pulls you as close to him as possible. You and Swiss had been seeing each other casually for months, but everyone would always just say you two were dating. Thinking back to it, there wasn't really a time the two of you weren't together since you started seeing each other. At some point during the late nights the two of you would stay up holding each other and talking until the sun came up the next day, Swiss taking you out on dates and giving you small homemade gifts, the two of you had fallen in love. It was obvious to everyone around you, but you were still nervous to ask Swiss if he even wanted to take things to the next level. You were shocked back to the moment by Swiss giving you a quick kiss.
"I was worried you were going to stand me up." You tease, he instantly laughs at your joke.
"Now what gives you the impression that I would ever stand up my partner?" You froze, did he just say what you thought you just said. His eyes slowly began to widen as he prepared to backpedal.
"Swiss, do you want to be my partner?" He blushes slightly as he nods.
"I have pretty much since we started seeing each other, but I didn't want to rush you." You both smiled at each other, him giving you a gentle kiss. You couldn't believe he was officially all yours.
Rain:
Rain was never much one for partying, he enjoyed more of the warm and cozy aspects of Halloween than anything else. Tonight the two of you spent the night doing just that. You put on your warmest sweaters and socks, had some hot cider, and sat watching horror movies and cuddling under a blanket. "The original slasher flicks have always been my favorite." Rain couldn't believe it when you told him you had never seen the original Halloween. You cuddled into his side, his arm adjusted as it laid across your shoulder. He looked so handsome. His face lit up by the fire in the fireplace and the light from the TV. He explained every bit of behind the scenes knowledge he had, you were fascinated by the vast amount of information he had.
"I can see why you like this movie so much." You smile at him, thoroughly enjoying your very low key Halloween. Rain cleared his throat suddenly.
"(Y/N)... Can I kiss you?" His voice shook slightly as he finally got the question out. You smile at him as you nod, slowly leaning in closer to him. His hand slid to your waist, lips hesitantly brushing yours before he finally pulls you in for an actual kiss. You melted under Rain's touch, his fingers cool against your skin. "You make me so incredibly happy." He says softly, pulling you in for another soft kiss. The two of you continued to cuddle and watch movies until you fell asleep on the couch in each other's arms.
Mountain:
You had to physically force yourself from falling to your knees in pure emotional defeat. There, right before your very eyes, stood your behemoth of a boyfriend in the hottest costume imaginable. "You alright babe?" He chuckles, watching the gears finally click in your head as you physically pick your jaw up off the floor.
"Who allowed you to look this good." He smiles at you, embarrassed by the direct compliment. You wrap your arms around his waist with a content hum. Mountain pats your head gently.
"You know, this is the first year I've actually been excited to go out." He leans down to give you a small kiss. "I'm really happy I get to spend Halloween with you."
"You're too sweet, you know that?" You kiss his nose. "Let me go get changed so we can leave." He nods, hand lingering on your waist as you pulled away. You couldn't keep the smile off your face. Much like Mountain, this was the first year you were actually excited to go out. You never really had anyone to dance with when you went to the parties at the Abbey, unlike your friends you had trouble dancing with just anyone. So being by your boyfriends side all night will definitely make this whole experience more enjoyable. You finished getting into your costume and rejoined your boyfriend in the living room. He can't stop smiling at you, just happy to be by your side.
#ghost band#ghost bc#fluff#ghost fanfiction#papa copia#papa emeritus 4#papa emeritus iv#papa emeritus x reader#nameless ghoul x reader#nameless ghoul#nameless ghoulettes#nameless ghouls#papa emeritus i#primo ghost#papa i#papa iii#papa emeritus iii#papa emeritus lll#papa 3#papa 4#papa terzo#papa emeritus ii x reader#papa emeritus i x reader#papa emeritus ii#papa emeritus iii x reader#papa emeritus iv x reader#halloween#the band ghost#mountain ghoul#mountain ghost
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about words, in words
(I should be studying, but I had a huge epiphany on my way home from work and I literally can't let this go unless I write it down first. You'll understand why soon enough.)
About a month ago I saw a poll which posed the question, "what pov is your internal monologue in?"
The choices were as follows: 1st person singular POV, 1st person plural POV, 2nd person POV, 3rd person POV, Other, or I don't have an internal monologue.
I stared at the post, trying - as I'm sure many other people did - to capture my own thought process in the moment, in order to figure out which of the alternatives fit best for me. But I wasn't really able to come to any conclusion, because the words of the poll were just circulating around in my brain, muddling everything up (hah, foreshadowing). So I saved the post to my draft, deciding that I'd have to think about it and return to it later.
Over the course of the month, I've been revisiting the post a few times, but still without reaching much of a conclusion. Slowly, I started wondering whether I even had much of an internal monologue at all; but I couldn't really put into words (hah, foreshadowing again) why that was, or what my thought process actually did look like.
Until today.
On my way home from work, it suddenly struck me, seemingly from nowhere.
I only think in words when I'm thinking about words. Otherwise, I think in images, feelings, vague fuzzy concepts, or sounds.
What do I mean by that bold sentence? Well, I think in words when my thought circulate around something I've read, something I've heard someone say, something I intend to write, something I intend to say, etc. In those cases, I think the words themselves. When I was biking home from working, I wasn't thinking, "When I get home, I'm going to write a Tumblr post about how my thought process works". I thought, "On my way home from work, it suddenly struck me, seemingly from nowhere." And not because I was narrating myself in 1st person past tense; no, because I was thinking about how I was going to phrase this epiphany that I had just had a moment ago.
Other times, I may be repeating the words of a message I received; or a message I intend to write; or a line I just heard someone say; or the sentence I just read; or a sentence I am intending to say.
But when I'm not thinking about words? Well, then I don't think in words. When I think about my week, I see flashes of images; I imagine sounds around me; I smell my future surroundings; I feel a hint of the emotions I expect to feel. But never do I phrase these things into words unless I intend to communicate them in some way.
So of course I couldn't figure out what POV my internal monologue was in - all I could think about at the time was the words of the poll, because that's literally how I think about everything. My thoughts were obscured by my own thoughts.
Now, this is a pretty cool epiphany in and of itself. But after I'd had this epiphany, and thought it through for a few minutes (through this tumblr post I knew I was going to write), I realised that this might have implications and meanings that I hadn't even considered before.
I remembered how, when I started school, I was obsessed with words. I remembered how my mother bought me a notebook to save words in; I would write down words I liked on its lined pages, one word per line, with no punctuation or explanation. I would fill pages and pages of this book with words. And I would write poems about words - about how fascinating they were to me, how beautiful and fragile and full of meaning they were - in a way that was absurdly abstract for my age; almost like I was picking the words up and examining them through a microscope with a critical eye.
Then I remembered how I've always struggled to communicated my thoughts well to others; how the images and concepts that seem so clear in my brain seem so impossible to phrase into words. And I remembered how, throughout the years, I've slowly become better at this, especially in my recent professional years; how the only way to survive countless meetings and presentations and social gatherings where I'm expected to communicate with people - to communicate well - has been to train myself to think in words. To reflect in words, in phrases, in retorts and responses, so that when someone threw me a word ball, I could quickly throw it back rather than fumble helplessly on the spot.
And then it struck me that, when I do think in words, I usually do so in English; because English words make up such a large piece of my daily life. Pretty much my entire social life is in English; my interests are almost exclusively in English; I write fiction in English, I read in English, I sing in English, I talk to friends in English, I study in English, I watch shows in English, I listen to music in English, I play table top RPG’s in English, I blog in English, I do volunteer work in English. And so, naturally, I usually think in English. Only time I really think in Swedish is when I think about work (most of it, at least) or the social interactions I have with Swedish friends or family.
And then, it also struck me that, if I'm so often thinking in words that I read/heard/said or will read/hear/say... When will I ever be here and now, in the present?
... I guess the answer to that is that I'll be in the present when I don't think in words. When there are no words to think about, no words present in my mind. When I allow myself to simply... exist, and feel, and hear, and push the words out of my mind. Because the words, as fascinating as they've always been to me, do not come naturally to me.
And that also makes me wonder... If I had no words to think about... Or at the very least, much fewer words to think about... What would my thoughts be like? What would my life be like...?
#I was so desperate to write this down I opened my laptop the second I sat down to eat dinner#Literally been shoving food into my mouth as I've written this#Furiously typing on my keyboard to get the thoughts out#Now I'm gonna take a lil break... and then work on my thesis.#nagnerd
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starting in april '23 i used bereal to take one picture per day at a random time decided by the app. if you don't know, it works by sending a push notification at a randomized time and you have i think 2 minutes to take a photo. every photo uses both your phone's front-facing camera and your rear camera, so you get a capture of your surroundings as well as your own face. there are no filters, there is no editing. you can follow your friends but there is no algorithm, there are no tags, there is no search, it's chronological. there are no ads (yet). when the next push happens, the one previous is removed from the feed. i follow 12 friends so i'm only ever seeing 12 photos max. it is beautiful in its simplicity and honesty to me.
anyway i became invested bc i liked the idea of being able to download all my photos at the end of the year and reviewing them. it's been really interesting, fun, illuminating, made me think about how i spent most of my time (frowning in front of my work laptop), and see what i want to change going forward (more outside, more community, more smiling).
selfies under the cut, which i will eventually remove from this post dw.
i spent what felt like too much time in the car this year. there were definitely lots of trips that necessitated a car, don't get me wrong, but so then i want to create more opportunities to not use the car. i already walk everywhere i feel i'm able, but walking isn't my only alternative. maybe if i'm going on a trip where i don't have a lot of stuff to take or bring back but i still want to take munch, i figure out how to take the train instead. or maybe if there's an errand to run and the weather is not dangerous, we take the bike.
left: morning snap. a regular weekday for me. i prefer working from home but it does pose its own challenges; most days, i'm rolling out of bed at the last second to get right to my computer. there's no intention behind the coffee i make or any breakfast i might have, it's just whatever is easiest (and sometimes nothing at all). a 2024 goal is to force myself to get up a little earlier so i can take my time brewing good coffee, selecting something to eat, and maybe do a little stretching or reading before going to work.
right: more food. i got into a really bad habit of just putting off eating and putting off eating during the workday because i was so busy. "after i finish this one last thing" i'd say, and then that thing would become two, three, etc. and i wouldn't be eating lunch til 3pm. i want to start carving out an actual lunch break for myself again.
this is what i want more of!!! more outside, more being with community, more exploring, more smiling, more caring, more. i don't mean being in constant action i just mean more of what's good. more intentional resting. more intentional nourishing. more intentional eating and hugging and reading and snuggling and kissing and napping and dancing and protesting and listening and more life. more being engaged in living my life.
#ik yday i said i was too busy to acknowledge the year ending but i changed my mind i changed my plans i am spending the day reflecting gdi#various photos of food and mentions of food under the cut#my lyfe#lo cam#munch cam
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I love how jotaro is just a cryptid in most of your aus, especially golden wind.
Just how many crypt traits carry over from au to au? Just... make a cryptid jotaro. Cryptid Ocean Man Au.
ERGHERJGRDRCBDGF
What if Holly ended up visiting the Foundation when she was a young woman and there was a Containment Breach, during which she accidentally found this small kid and logically decides "okay, it's dangerous right now, gotta keep this kid safe" and lets the little Jotaro into her hiding spot. Maybe she even gives him a candy she had in her bag (Holly seems like to kind of person who'd have the Magic Bag Of Everything and no matter what you need or want she's got it)
and on his end of things Jotaro's decided "I've only known this woman for a few minutes but if anything happened to her I'd kill everyone here and then myself"
And then once he's been contained again and Holly goes back home, he just. Keeps managing to break out and always manages to make his way back to her. Doesn't matter what security measures they use or if they relocate him to the other side of the world, he always manages to get out and just chills with Holly, even if it's just for a couple hours
eventually (with some very convincing arguments and a whole slideshow from Holly), they end up just. Letting Holly keep him because aside from when he breaks out, he's not actually doing any harm and seems to genuinely only want to be with her. They do set some very strict guidelines on what Jotaro is and isn't allowed to do and make it clear that any trouble will get him right back to the facility, and some of the Foundation workers who check in probably aren't..... the kindest to him, but Holly is a damn good mother and more than makes up for it
I'll admit I don't know too much about SCPs, but I had a possible thought for Jotaro's Thing
What if he has a kind of learning/mimicking/creating type thing that only affects himself with almost limitless boundaries except it has to be what he wants on a deep, internalized level. He wanted to hide and be seen as a non-threat, so he took the form of a seemingly helpless human child. He wanted to be with Holly again, so he was able to escape every time and find her no matter where he was taken. He wanted to be her son, so he seems to grow and age like a human. He wants to protect her, so he "grows up" to be big and strong and capable
But with all this knowledge, everything he knows and everything he can be...... it can blend together and leads to him being socially awkward. He has difficulties communicating and sometimes he gets stuck in loops of indecision when he can't figure out what would be the best to do or say and then can get frustrated when people don't understand what he means. His family is usually pretty good at recognizing when he has these moments, but to outsiders it can be difficult
SCP Jotaro would probably be a bit different from Canon Jotaro.
For one, I don't think he'd lash out at Holly. Even more so than in canon, Holly is one of the only people he can trust because she is one of the only people he knows will fight for him if the Foundation tries to take him back. A small part of him is terrified of her deciding one day to just let them take him, but most of him knows that she would never. She is his mother and he is her son. They protect each other.
As for another, when he does lash out, he'd have to be W A Y more careful about when and how. Skipping school and the like would be mostly fine, but getting into fights? That is a HARD no because even if he didn't start them it would still be dangerous and pose a risk toward him getting taken away again. This....... actually adds another layer to him locking himself in the cell when Star manifests and he accidentally hurts those guys
#this was so much fun to think about#initial thoughts#swcp foundation#jjba#jojo’s bizarre adventure#stardust crusaders#jjba part 3#jjba jotaro#jotaro kujo#star platinum#jjba holly#holly kujo#sb answers#ravenwolf1132
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ILY FP 239
Good grief I'm so out of practice, getting this thing going feels like pulling teeth, I'm so rusty!!! Bear with me if this one feels a little weirder than usual. I can't say I'm fully back to myself at this point but i'm not as out of it as I have been, so I might as well take advantage of this moment while I can! I really loved this episode and I still want to talk about it, and since it will be free this week, I want to get this one out of the way so this post will be available for those who are looking for it!
Honestly this is an episode I did NOT think we would be getting for a long time - but I've been saying that for a lot of these episodes, haven't I? lol But seriously, quimchee keeps giving us so much of what I've wanted but thought we'd have to wait til season 2 for!
Before I get distracted by the part of the episode that really occupied my brain, I'd like to touch on the opening. Dieter is the kind of character who I don't think would ordinarily talk behind someone's back, but clearly this is a special circumstance. He's rightfully concerned and worried about Nol and asking Nana for insight was not a bad move, even if it doesn't yield a lot of results. I was so, SO hoping in 238 that Dieter would remember what happened at the arcade, that SOMEONE would make a connection to that time that Nol acted SO out of character and weird (in their minds) so when Soushi mentioned the arcade I was CHEERING.
They are SO close and idk if Nana being cryptic made things worse or not. Soushi and Dieter seem to be under the impression that Yui is his mom, even though the news did report him as the illegitimate child. it's all so in the moment right now that perhaps they'll be able to connect the dots shortly - I just need them to keep in mind that connection to what happened at the arcade and realize that it wasn't seeing Kousuke that made him act like that. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
I really love how Yujing works, how she gets to people. She seems to possess an awareness that all people need to be approached differently, and how to make a lasting impression, a little dramatic flair - because let's be real, something dramatic is going to linger a little more, and for what she's leaving Nol with, a little lasting impression is really important. There's just something about how she presents this information - that despite his minor injury, Kousuke was roofied, and Yui was the one with him that morning; that he has some reason for wanting to talk to Nol even if he can't admit it yet; that a mother would want what's best for her son, so how was he roofied and denied treatment when he clearly wasn't even feeling well?
What matters is that Nol comes to the same conclusion we already have - and that he figures it out himself rather than be fed that information. Yujing doesn't know much about Nol, let alone his psyche, but we do, and we know that he believes the misfortune that befalls him is a punishment, is the result of his existence, that it's all because he only puts bad into the universe. But he needs to see that this is so much bigger than he thinks, that he has never been Yui's only victim or target.
If Yui will go to these extents that she would roofie her own son, what else is she capable of? And more importantly, he needs to see and really understand that it is more than just him. In his mind, Yui and Kousuke were a team ganging up on him to tear him apart for being the mistress' son, for existing when he shouldn't have, for posing as a potential threat to everything they want and cherish. To see that even Kousuke wasn't spare from Yui's crimes shows that this is something more than he expected, bigger than he has believed all along.
I talk a lot about how I need Nol to figure this out because he needs to understand that Kousuke, too, was a victim. That Kousuke was never truly part of that "team", that he was weaponized against Nol. I don't think that Nol is going to figure this out at that time, but it's a good first step. Understandably, Nol wants nothing to do with him, so the timing couldn't be worse. How is he going to accept and receive anything Kousuke has to say after everything he's done - and how he treated Nol at his absolute lowest point in his life? But it's still so very important that Nol learn how all of this came to be, why he could never reach Kousuke.
But also more than just for himself, this also connects back to Shinae. At this point in the story, Nol knows only of Shinae's involvement at the Kim formal, Yui was meddling and put her in danger. From what we can tell, he probably believes it's a result of caring about her. Because that's what happens - he starts to care about people and bad things happen to them.
I don't think he really knows the stipulations of Shinae's contract and he certainly doesn't know about the offer Yui made her. He doesn't know about what happened on Kousuke's birthday, something so wholly separate from him and his own interest. He doesn't know about the way Yui took immediate interest in Shinae and starting testing her and messing with her out of interest in the effect she has on Kousuke.
And likewise, he has no idea of the real lengths of Yui's threat. He doesn't realize Alyssa is in a prison and, in fact, believes she's living the dream she wanted. Objectively we know that Yui was taking an innocent girl and toying with her, making a game out of her, but *Nol himself doesn't know that*! He likely believes that his mother took her own life, and possibly as a result of something he might have said to her, where objectively we know that it was probably something more sinister than her making that choice. And honestly? There's SO much more! Kousuke's memory adds another potential person to her body count. The former CFO in Japan may not have died but he still lost his position and we have to be naive to believe his stroke was a mere coincidence.
We know this. Yujing knows this.
Kousuke is coming to know this.
It's time for Nol to realize this, too.
This alone may not be enough. I still want, badly, for Nol and Shinae to have a talk, where she can tell him about these things he doesn't know, to try to get through to him that the danger was never him but simply Yui's interest. Even had Nol never become her friend, she'd still be trying to play Shinae and use her on Kousuke and what happened at his apartment alone should show Nol that it wasn't about only him! Shinae has a habit of keeping things to herself but it's time to pull all of this into the open, in order to confront those feelings, in order to reach him the way she wants.
Yui will never give up on her.
And we've seen what happens to the people who keep Yui's interest.
I do hope, too, that Nol takes Yujing up on her offer and talks about his version of what happened that night. I don't know if her implication that Kousuke is coming to realize that Yui has meddled so much, has manipulated him and everything he believes, but I hope that reaches him in time, too. That everything Kousuke believes about Nol was heavily rooted in a falsified memory. But also it's important that he knows even without him telling her his side she will believe him. She is telling him that she knows! That she knows more than him!
GOD. IT'S SO BIG IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT BIG DEAL and I really need Nol to ruminate on this and let it all sink in because it is SO BIG AND IMPORTANT. This was NEVER about him - not the way he thinks, anyway. He thinks he's protecting Shinae if he can distance himself, if he can keep his feelings at bay, but all it will do is put them both at further risk, hurt both of them, and break their hearts. Part of Nol's desperate fear is that he doesn't know what the danger is, and thus how to prevent it.
But if he finally realizes that Yui is the danger?
He needs that realization.
And on the flipside, GOD, watching Kousuke go through that revelation... I know I've talked a lot about how I think Kousuke needs to crash and burn for the reformation he needs but now that we're here I DON'T WANT TO WITNESS IT, I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM ;________; I know there are people who still loathe him no matter what but that's not me lol I have gone from hating this man to understanding the circumstances, to understanding how he got here and god watching him go through this is HELL.
Because something we can immediately glean is that Kousuke feels SO MUCH REGRET for these things now that he sees them in new light. That's what continues to set him apart from Yui - Kousuke doesn't attack people without reason, even if from someone else's point of view there doesn't seem to be reason, and this episode highlights that and how that mindset became something he adopted in the first place.
He comes from a family that, as far as we can tell, is probably prone to backstabbing and deceit. Perhaps Yui has internalized it more than anyone else and is the only one to hold this mentality, but she isn't entirely wrong when she tells Kousuke to be wary of people because many will only try to get close to him for his money, for his influence, to ride on his coattails or worse, to exploit and take advantage of him. We acknowledge that Kousuke is not well-developed in the sense that his sense of empathy is lacking, he doesn't have that real ability to understand people who are so unlike him, and he doesn't know how to have/handle healthy relationships between people - and like, it's not without reason. His strict schedule growing up played into this a lot, but a lot of it was further reinforced by the kinds of lessons Yui instilled in Kousuke. People will try to take what is ours.
And enter this child who speaks of a version of Rand that can't possibly exist, this child whom whispers and secrets have spoken of: Rand's other family. The other woman, the other son. From his young, inexperienced child mind and whatever it is Yui has told him - they're leeches, they are trying to take our places, they want to take your father they want to take our family they want to take what's ours - it's easy to see why Kousuke refused to let them in. In his mind, it was true - Nessa was the other woman who was destroying their family and trying to take what was theirs, and her son - their son! - was competition, could very rightly take his place.
And this isn't a lie! Nol could be considered an heir simply by virtue of being Rand's son.
So, honestly? It's easy to see, from Kousuke's point of view, why he was so starkly opposed to this other family from the get go, why he feared them and felt threatened by them. That sense of threat was instilled in him from such a young age that he never had a chance to see Nol as anything but, to consider the more mature and rational mentalities of "Rand is a grown man who made grown choices" and acknowledge his hand in everything.
But to young Kousuke, they were dangerous threats that were posed to ruin everything.
He was basically made to feel he could trust no one, not one single person.
So when young Nol comes to Kousuke at his lowest, the worst period of his life, Kousuke turns him away. And yes, he is incredibly cruel about that, I don't deny it. But from his perspective, I get it. He believed this kid was a threat, that his mother was a threat, that he was a dangerous child, even!
And now he sees how wrong it was, how he trusted someone who lead him astray, and because he trusted the wrong person, he has hurt people, ruined lives. Because it wasn't just Nol's life that he ruined, as we see. He has stood by when he could have offered help and denied it, out of suspicion and fear that the accusations were falsehoods, because he was told to always be wary of this, that he can't trust anyone, that everyone will try to take advantage of him and benefit off of his back.
Because he fails to believe these people who reached out to him at their lowest, he knows he is directly responsible for what befalls them. He is directly responsible for what Nol endures, for how cruel he is to him when he needs someone, when he's so afraid and so alone, so desperate! And he fails someone else in an equally dreadful way.
Who is the girl we see when Kousuke's memory switches, the girl bowing at the funeral?
We don't have a lot to go off of, but given Yujing and Kousuke's history, the piece she's working on that she's told Manli she thinks she'll like, and what little we know of Yujing's friend who was in a similar situation as Shinae, the current assumption that we've talked about on discord/reddit that I currently subscribe to is: the girl at the funeral is probably Manli, and maybe the person who she lost was a younger sister? Manli seems to be Yujing's age, who is closer to Hansuke's age than Kousuke is. We know Kousuke had a girlfriend in college, but because he graduated early and was younger than everyone, even started college as a minor, it's not likely he was dating one of his adult friends so.... is it possible that Manli had a sister near Kou's age who was introduced to him at one point? I don't think that part necessarily matters here, because what really matters is that we know: Manli, or someone, lost someone precious, and possibly because Kousuke did not step in to help.
At one point in time, Yujing must have thought highly of Kousuke - or at least of his influence and what he could do with it. In fact, this flashback really illuminates why Yujing can't stand him, why their relationship soured and why she treats him like she does. Like Nol, she resents that Kousuke never defies his family, that he puts his lofty goals ahead of everyone else.
Someone - probably Manli - went to Kousuke desperate for help, with accusations it seems that Kousuke refused to believe. And if they were accusations against his family - his mother - we can understand why he was hesitant to believe them: because everyone will try to take advantage of you, will try to deceive you, will say things to try to bring them down. In his mind, everyone is primed as a threat, and the accusations brought forth probably did sound incredibly ludicrous, because whoever it was who went to him was begging to be understood. Maybe they even knew that what they were accusing sounded that way, thus the desperation, the pleading.
"Only someone with a sick mind would even do that! It's impossible! And a dangerous accusation!"
More and more, that makes me think it has to be something that Yui or the Kims were involved in - who else has a sick enough mind to do something that, it sounds like, pushed someone to take their own life. The line about no one seeing it coming feels so much like that the victim kept quiet about what happened, that few others knew, and thus few others knew that Kousuke refused the help that maybe, just maybe, could have given her the vindication to not do something so agonizing.
The argument that Yujing and Kousuke had is scathing, but it demonstrates a lot about who they are and how Yujing perceives him - things we already know, but is nice to see further clarified. Kousuke is afraid to believe something that could be a misinterpretation, something that doesn't make sense, probably because the version of the accused doesn't line up with his reality, what he knows of people. I can't help but feel that Yui must've been involved, since Yujing makes that comment about "family comes first" and this episode rides on the back of Kousuke learning just what a sick mind Yui really has, just what kinds of extent she has gone to in order to control and manipulate him.
And because it's always felt like what happened at the formal, with the drugs, was some kind of trigger of a previous event for Kousuke, it makes me wonder if this was that incident. Someone (Manli?) comes to Kousuke for help. Maybe it was Yui, maybe it was the Kims, someone was involved. Maybe something happened to her sister? Some kind of sexual assault, something heinous and awful. She was roofied, she was taken advantage of, and they needed help. But Kousuke refused to act on it, because the accusations felt so preposterous he couldn't believe it - because he knows this is what people will do, they will try to tear down his family, will try to take advantage of him, they will lie to besmirch their names. And when no one believed her, when she was left to deal with the trauma of what happened, knowing that no one would believe her, that she had to live with the horror in her nightmares, she took her life. Yujing probably directly holds Kousuke responsible for never stepping in, for never using his influence to help, to investigate, for never believing them.
And it makes a lot of sense with what happened at the formal. This time, Kousuke (after a false start) believes them. This time he steps in and acts. This time he tries to save Shinae. (She really is his do-over for EVERYTHING isn't she?) In this manner, it also makes sense why Kousuke is so terrified for Yujing to meet Shinae and to convey this to her - because Shinae has been in that position before and who would understand this girl more than her, someone who is already uncomfortable around Kousuke, someone whose trust Kousuke is trying to earn. He doesn't want her to know about a time he failed so badly to help someone that it ended with that person's death. What would she think of him? How would she view him? And this is especially important because Shinae is the do-over. Because Kousuke needs to do better with her, to make up for his guilt about the times he has failed others in the past.
What sets Kousuke apart from Yui, though, is that Kousuke doesn't want to mindlessly hurt people. Those he has hurt he believed were in the wrong, were trying to leech off of him, were trying to take what is his, were trying to ruin their family reputation and pass allegations that could ruin them. But now he can look back and see the truth, realizes that he put his trust in the wrong person who lead him astray, who filled his head with falsehoods that he so desperately believed that he ended up destroying peoples' lives and he IS full of regret and self-loathing. He stands in the bathroom retching, reliving these failings, this haunting realization tearing him apart. There's something desperately depressing to me about the panel of him looking down at his face in the toilet and flushing it away, because we know how he feels, we know what he is reeling from.
Ultimately, Kousuke never intended to hurt innocent people. He never intended to be a bad person. Every time he hurt people, he thought he was defending himself, his family name. But he's learning how wrong that was, how he has all along put his trust in someone who never had his best interests at heart - who even DRUGGED HIM. He seems aware of the manipulation, that how he regarded Nol was all based on what she made him believe of him.
But he did. In the end, he hurt people who needed him. How different things could have been if he'd reached out to this desperate, scared boy who was left all alone in a foreign country with no one to turn to. How different things could have been if he had believed Yujing and her friend, if he had been able to step in and help.
A note I'd like to make here is that whatever happened to Yujing's friend, I'm certain it coincides with Nol's release from the mental institution. Yujing notes that Kousuke has changed, that he's not like the version of him they met years ago, and I wonder how much of this played into his refusal to believe them. They seemed familiar with a different Kousuke, one who maybe once might have helped, had Yui not reminded him what a threat everyone is, had Yui not reminded him of what he is meant to be working towards. Who was he, to put others first, when the Hiraharas were always to come first? Who was he, frolicking about and forgetting himself when Nol could swoop in at any moment and steal everything he'd worked so hard towards? Of course, because of how much that sense of threat was ingrained in Kousuke, maybe it wouldn't have played out any differently.
It just kills me that he can see it exactly that way - that these were people who desperately needed him and because he denied them, he made things so much worse for them. The guilt... no wonder he's locked in a bathroom stall retching like that. When Hansuke enters the stall and finds Kousuke just seated on the floor - a bathroom floor! Our man is hitting rock bottom. Who EVER imagined seeing Kousuke hugging a toilet, sitting on a public bathroom floor? He looks so pitiful, so small and pathetic and you know what my heart does break, because it's clear to me that Kousuke is still separate of Yui, that his regret and remorse sets him apart. Yes, it's very much too little, too late, but we also know how effective Yui's tactics have been thus far that this is the first time he's ever gotten suspicious, the first time he ever had an inkling something was wrong and could get tested.
How was he to know otherwise?
How was he to know that the only person he's ever been able to rely on was, in fact, the cause of everything?
GOD. IT KILLS ME IT JUST.... ALKKAFJKAKJFAJKAJFK ;___________;
Lives have literally been RUINED because he trusted the wrong person. How do you live with that? I'm so.... SO worried for his future.
Ngl i was so surprised that Kousuke still wanted to come back again, that he wants to try this again tomorrow, despite the fact that seeing Nol sent him into a panic attack, brought up all of the realizations of guilt and remorse that now ride on his shoulders. But.... idk I'm proud of him, too. It's clear he was worried about Nol, it's clear he wanted to see him and check on him and used the phone as that, but it's also clear that he is aware now of the terrible person he has been to Nol and that he was never in the right, that Nol was never the threat or danger he perceived him as - that just like he acknowledged in 212, it was always him, the cold man with his back turned.
I know it's not like their relationship can repair at this stage - that's much further along - but I hope Kousuke's persistence can at least benefit Nol, in some way. Even if it's just that the realization that even Kousuke is her victim, that no one has ever been safe from Yui, that it was always her, not him. He needs that much.
God this episode hurt it hurt SO MUCH like I can't even dig into the pain of those flashbacks because it's just so overwhelmingly painful. Nol went to him at his lowest moment, so desperate and afraid, and couldn't reach Kousuke or get through to him. Even at his most desperate, he was still seen as such a threat, that fear was so deeply ingrained in Kousuke. And for someone (Manli?) to lose someone precious to her because Kousuke didn't act, because he had the opportunity to step in and help and he didn't believe them.... it's no wonder Yujing has so much resentment towards him, why she can't stand this version of him.
just sobs
also i have been trying to write this all week long and did NOT proof this so I'm sorry if it sounds worse than usual i'm running on negative energy but I REALLY wanted to do a thought dump on this episode because GOD I HAVE BIG BIG EMOTIONS ABOUT IT
#I Love Yoo#ILY Brainrot#ILY FP#ILY Spoilers#but not for looooong!#Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn#Kousuke Hirahara#Yujing#Hansuke Hirahara#Manli#?????#this episode was so painful#we needed it but my GOD it hurt so much i can't doooooooo this ;A;#PAIN#AGONY#DEVASTATION#realizations that will be HAUNTING#i'm gonna swaddle up everyone in little blankies except for yui and the kims#;A;
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April Fusions haha
They kept rotting my brain for a hot second so I started writing up concepts myself, but then this ask properly sprung me into action. @bluepeachstudios you've done it again with the hinting!
I suppose the only really interesting things about these takes are how I named them. I already have a fusion storyline planned for my own TMNT iteration, and the Turtles fuse with April in it so I combined their names there. I didn't want to do that again here, so instead I took a more unique approach. I named them after each of the Turtles' VAs' birthday months (because, you know, April). I mean, why not utilise canon/meta/out-of-universe facts for a project like this? I can't do this for my own characters. I did have two rules in place in case any of them overlapped, of which I was forced to use one.
May
May is probably my least favourite out of the bunch. There's really nothing about her that screams Leo besides like- a shell, blue eyes, injuries... It's probably therefore not surprising I drew her first, so I really didn't know what I wanted to emphasise and so on. I should probably have had her face the camera more to get a better sense of her jawline. Make sure to make it nice and boxy lol
The plastron pride flags are demigirl, aroace and lesbian. While I do in my heart of hearts believe Leo has a not insignificant crush on Captain Ryan, I still wanted our gal to be a flaming lesbian despite that lol.
March
March was incredibly fun to draw, and not just because @bluecookiesabi is an absolute joy to hang out with (thank the heavens for Discord streams!). I just really like drawing more feminine characters. I had most likely already sketched both May and March before I found the ask so I didn't know March is agender, but I don't think that's a problem at all. Agender people are allowed to be feminine, after all. And I don't consider Donnie to be some pinnacle of masculinity to begin with.
I figured, since the fic tags state that Donnie's autistic here, I'd give March just fluffy socks and slippers to keep dust and dirt from their feet for sensory reasons. That is definitely not projection on my part.
They're kind of giving 2003 April vibes with their hair in a bun. That was a happy accident which I'm really glad I kept to.
January
January is just green April. Hers and Mikey's designs are already so incredibly similar in-canon I'm convinced she'd look pretty much exactly like him had she been mutated into a turtle. I didn't even feel the need to open January's eyes since they'd just be the same shade of blue more or less.
I don't have much to say about him other than she was fun to draw. Gymnastics poses are honestly kind of therapeutic to draw. But also, how are they able to make that pose? The answer is simple: January is just built different.
I also labelled xir as only aroace since I don't know what you have planned for Mikey.
September
I'm really happy with how he turned out. While sketching I couldn't get the pose really working but once I did she really came together. I'd say September is the only Fusion (besides maybe March) that actually looks like the people he's made up of merged. Raph's stocky build fits April surprisingly well. And the choice to give her April's kunoichi getup but tattered was a really good idea in my opinion, and I'd like to give @pechtothevoid the credit they are so deservedly owed for that idea.
While not fic accurate at all, I had such a difficult time coming up with a good weapon for September. Who knew combining sai with tessen would be difficult? So instead I gave her a boomerang, which reminded me of Sokka, so I just straight up gave him Sokka's boomerang. I like the idea of her, upon fusing, just snagging Sokka's boomerang from the Mae Whitman-verse and using it as a blunt force weapon. I wanted to in a similar vein give him the One Ring from the Sean Astin-verse, but I couldn't get that to look good no matter how I placed it.
I like the name rules I came up with. Basically, since I didn't know in which months any of their actors were born in I had to come up with a replacement idea for naming in case any of them happen to overlap. The first rule was that if Rob and Greg happened to share a month with anyone else, the Donnie and Mikey Fusions would automatically get assigned December and May respectively. If Seth or Sean were to have overlapped with anyone, Leo's and Raph's Fusions would get the/a month whose first letter is the closest to either character's first name. March and January checked out, but since Seth and Sean are both born in February, I was forced to assign Leo and Raph May and September each. Small price to pay, honestly.
Tcest DNI and NO REPOSTING. Both groups can go die UwU
#mimjan draws#mimjan draws fanart#do not repost#tmnt 2012 fanfic#tcesters leave or you will mutate into car bacteria#once again did 'Fusions' eat any semblance of braincells I have#it's such a good fic and trope though so who can blame me?#and trying to combine characters that are completely different animal species and sexes into one was unsurprisingly really difficult#but a fun challenge in creativity and problem solving#I should do these kinds of projects more often. they're fun#even if the lack of clear sex characteristics in the Turtles' designs infuriated me#I seriously had no plastron shape to mess around with and make more androgynous smh#they didn't even look male in the show itself since they're flat/convex so I had to mess with the Fusions' plastrons in some other way
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Diamond Select Azula review!
oof girlfriend
Diamond Select's atla figures are... strange. Like... they can look decent while looking terrible at the same time. They're often VERY uncanny. (save for Iroh and Katara... Sokka looks fine but in comparison to the McFarlane one it's def a weaker figure imo).
So Azula is here, mid breakdown during the finale, with five alternate hands (one acting as a special effects piece), an effect piece (that is actually a retool of one from an Aang figure), a base, and an adjustable set of pegs to help hold up effects pieces/characters.
The armor looks good, and the detail on this piece is pretty nice, that I will say. The color scheme seems accurate and is pleasing to the eye. However, in some of the details she both does and doesn't resemble this appearance in the show; I think it's the hair sculpt and just her overall face shape, which makes her appear MUCH older than 14; then again, that also happened in the finale when she often appeared much older in the animation.
Also, fun fact about that big effect piece!
It's heavier than the stand (please pardon my dusty shelf ;A:)
I'd seen one video where someone managed to pose her really nicely with said effect piece; but I'm going to have to loosen the screws on some of these pegs to make them bend bc only one will move for me.
This is how I have her posed on my shelf (for now; I DID spend money on her so until further notice she'll go on the shelf), but I have to pose the effect a specific way, because the effect is too heavy and will cause her wrist joint to buckle and won't aim properly (Ozai has the same issue)
So how does she compare to the McFarlane figure?
While the Diamond Select has more pieces and range of motion, the McFarlane figures just LOOK better imo, and I'm not just talking about the fact that the McFarlane figure is pre-breakdown; it just looks better.
I know here soon that DS Azula is going to start wimping out of her pose and falling over (just like Ozai and Toph) and get all loose; however, the McFarlane brand does have issues standing at times, but I've been able to get most of them to stand upright for the most part (sometimes their effect piece balances them out; unfortunately for one of my Aang's I have to lean him against the bookshelf wall so they're not all winners)
Also my DS Azula came with an un-centered skirt which is REALLY bothersome. I am impressed with how the hair is sculpted that way but... like why? Why this version? Why make her first figure out of this design??
Regardless, If you're just looking to have some decent looking figures for an atla collection, just go with the 5 in McFarlane Azula (which is available on Amazon), or even the YouTooz. I mean, unless you don't like Azula then by all means don't let me tell you what to do lmao; but I just don't think this figure is worth it.
Alas, she is now part of my family of figures and I am a big softie so until I learn how to do doll modifications she'll hang out on the Fire Fam shelf.
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Balancing the Scales
Author’s Note: To the Anon that requested this, I am SO SORRY it took me this long, but I hope you like it!!
Summary: A misunderstanding between you and your boyfriend of 10 months threatens to destroy what has been so carefully constructed. Is a patch possible or will the castle crumble?
Pairing: idol!Jimin x animalshelterworker!reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: light smut, fluff, established relationship, oneshot, angst, idol au
Word Count: 1,877
Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI light biting, passionate grabbing, mentions of sex,
It's just a typical day at the animal rescue shelter that you work at when your life changes forever. You are determined that your eyes are playing tricks on you, but you know that smile anywhere!
Your bias from BTS, Jimin, is at the front desk asking where to sign in so he can look at the dogs. Once you shake off your freak-out fog, you practically push your coworker out of the way. She's Namjoon biased anyway; she can deal, right?
Once he fills out the sign-in form, you volunteer to show him around the facility while he tells you his pet preferences. The whole time, you feel like you are vibrating with excitement, but you keep your cool the entire time despite your ARMY heart threatening to give out any moment.
As you head up to the front, he tells you that there's such a good selection that he needs to think it over before he says, "Thanks for all of your help, y/n. Will you be here tomorrow? I don't really feel like re-explaining everything to someone else you know?".
This time, you aren’t able to prevent the flush that appears on your cheeks. Because even though it's work-related, Jimin CHOSE YOU; it's a step towards your dream so yay! You fervently nod your head, ignoring your coworker side-eyeing you.
You know you’re supposed to be off tomorrow, but you will be there no matter what; you have been in love with this man for years, so you will show up unpaid in uniform if it means you can be his little helper.
As soon as he leaves, your coworker agrees to let you pose as though you are on shift, and if he needs access you can't do since you aren't on the clock, she will help you out. You rush home after your shift to ensure everything is ready and clean at a good time so you can be well rested.
For the first time in your life, you wake up a half hour before your alarm from anticipation! You get ready and go in after getting some coffee and a breakfast sandwich at the café nearby.
After waiting for what felt like forever (maybe 2 hours), Jimin shows up with two coffees, which your nerves didn't need but you will accept of course. He insists on walking the whole facility again despite barely looking around, focusing on your words more intently than yesterday.
He says he wants your help figuring out which dog to go with but respects that the shelter closes soon. Naturally, he asks you, "Hey, I'm indecisive, but I know y'all close soon. So would you like to grab some boba with me and help me decide?".
At this, your coworker's jaw is on the floor while yours is trying to maintain normalcy. You grin and, with a shaky voice, say, "I…I'd be honored if you would prefer that over returning tomorrow. I mean, since you can't adopt once we close. Aish, what am I saying…you're a busy man, so let's go get this decided then!".
He can't help but giggle at your flustered state and logic. He knows he will need to return anyway, but if this gets him on a date with you, it's worth the extra trip.
Even though he decides on the brown and white cocker spaniel named Mandu in about 30 minutes, y’all spend hours at the boba shop talking about everything and anything.
This leads to many more meetings starting off as you helping him learn how to take care of and train Mandu, morphing into chill hangouts, and eventually, y'all making your relationship official.
Life is bliss and everything you could dream of until he starts acting strange. It begins with your dates becoming less frequent and Jimin seeming agitated more often than not when he is around you.
A week after your 10-month anniversary, you question your boyfriend, "Chim Chim, what's wrong? You can talk to me…If I did something, please tell me, yell, anything…”
He rolls his eyes, "Y/n, you didn't do anything, okay? Just had a lot on my mind lately. You wouldn't understand; you live a simple life." At this, tears well up in your eyes. "Ouch… I'm just trying to be supportive. Plus, just because I'm not an idol doesn't mean my life is a cakewalk.
You know how much I've struggled before and during being with you. Just because you're great doesn't mean our relationship hasn't also given me side effects. Do you realize how much hate and death threats I've gotten since I started going out with you???
Now, yes, your company is good at shutting them down and ensuring I'm safe, but it isn't fun to encounter. Not to mention you being around all those beautiful idols all of the time…
I know you care about me, but I look nothing like those people, and I am just worried that eventually you will see me the way I do and…don't look at me like that, I'm just saying.".
He just clenches his fists and pokes inside of his cheek with his tongue and responds with, "That's not fucking fair y/n. It's not like I caused those things or given you a reason to be insecure.
I thought I was helping you with anxiety and self-esteem, but I guess I was wrong. I knew this was too good to be true…" With that, he walks out of your apartment and starts the detachment.
It’s the longest month of your life. Feeling like a bother, you stop texting and hanging out with Jimin, partly to teach him a lesson and somewhat because he hurt your feelings. Despite his frequent attempts to meet up and talk things out, you shut him down or give one-word responses.
Feeling desperate, Jimin goes to your work to talk things out only to learn from Alice, your coworker from before, that you purposely changed your schedule so he couldn't just pop up. She also gives him the cold shoulder in solidarity, as she knows what happened.
As it happens, you pull in right as he departs down the road, and for a moment, you consider following him. You miss him but aren't sure you are ready to see him yet.
Fast forward a week, and Alice hits you up because she is tired of you being a homebody. You agree to meet up with her at a local café since you know that alcohol is not a good idea right now.
After waiting an hour and no sign of her or anyone else besides a couple of workers, you are about to leave when you look up from your phone only to see Jimin standing before you.
Gently resting his hand on yours, he pleads for you to give him 10 minutes, and if after that, you aren't convinced, he will never bother you again. He admits that he rented out the café and prepaid for your drink since he knows this is your favorite spot. In addition to the centerpieces being your favorite flower, he just wanted privacy with you in one of your safest places.
For the first 3 minutes, he is profusely apologizing, saying that there had been so many rumors about him and Nayeon recently that you bringing up other women just set him off because he thought you knew that you were the embodiment of beauty to him and never looked at anyone else.
Then he leans forward and rubs your arm for comfort as he sees tears about to fall down your cheek and continues, "Jagiya, I'm so sorry again. When I said, I had a lot on my mind that you wouldn't understand… I don’t mean that you've never had struggles. It was something that I was worried about but didn't know if you were too, but.. now it's time to find out, I guess."
You cock an eyebrow and wipe the tears from your face, "Just tell me, Mochi, I swear it's fine. Just be honest. It can’t be worse than what I’ve been imagining for the past month.”.
He leans back and lets a deep sigh escape his mouth, "Alright, here goes, I love you. I have been for months now. I realized it 2 months before the day I went off and hurt you, but I was worried about saying it too soon. So, I tried to shove the desire down, but it only made me angry because why has society dictated milestones?
If I love you, I should be able to say so whenever I feel it, right? Aish…anyway, when you said you knew I cared about you, it made me pissed again because I wanted to shout to the heavens how in love I was and am with you but didn't know if I should, so yeah….".
The timer goes off, and he sits up straight, staring at you with pleading eyes to say something. You are looking down, fidgeting with your fingers, and processing everything he just said. He goes to leave, taking your silence as a goodbye.
As he arises, you grab the sleeve of his sweater and stand up, saying, "I feel the same way, which is why everything hurt so bad, and I detached so abruptly. I wanted to tell you how I felt, too, but I was too scared of rejection, so I took that day as a sign to back off. “
His eyes go wide, "Oh…I…cool…I mean.. you know what I mean? I just feel like such a pabo (fool) and hope one day you can forgive me, but I get if no—" He is cut off by your lips crashing into his and smiling as he has wanted this for so long.
Once you detach for the sake of breathing, you hurry hand in hand to the public transportation stop, giving little pecks as you wait. Once you get on, you can't help but be stereotypical and sit in his lap. Y'all seem all tiny and cutesy to the others on the train.
Until you get home, and the second that the front door locks, he has you pushed up against the wall, leaving sloppy kisses along your neck and jawline before passionately devouring your lips in his until you are both gasping and trying desperately to hold on to anything to stay grounded.
As soon as y'all head into the bedroom, it's a race of who can get their clothes off faster. Honestly, you can't recall because the millisecond it happens, he has you trapped under him for who knows how long. He shows you with his body how much love he has for you, how sorry he is, and most of all, how much he missed you.
Once both of your bodies are spent, y'all indulge in a sweet bath. He carries you to bed, and you both fall asleep in each other's arms, drifting off to the best sleep of your lives, knowing that there is no more gray area in your relationship, nor will there ever be, because you both agree to communicate everything from now on; there's no way either of you can be apart that long again or would ever want to be.
#btssmut#btsfluff#btsangst#oneshot#btsxreader#btsff#mochi#jiminxreader#jiminangst#jiminsmut#jiminfluff#usermaggie#ughreads#usertaeyungie#spontaneous#established relationship#eoieopda archive
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a buncha headshot portraits! three out of five portraits, i'm finishing up the last two c: the sketches here are from way back in august/september, and i fiddled with them for some weeks on end trying to make Something out of them, then proceeded to frustratedly shelf the lot of them away. so it's nice to see at least these three all finished up now :') and they were really nice to work on too ;v;
but ohoho okay, this is a lot of announcements in one single post, so bear with me a moment :3c
here's a tl;dr first:
1) headshot portraits as a new commission option maybe? :0ccc
2) commissions are opening again on monday, jan. 23rd!
3) separate commission info webpage for reading convenience (particularly for folks on mobile)
4) commission rules changes: payment in full & upfront, rather than half-and-half
5) two-slots-per-person rule will be no more and folks are free to send as many orders as they want, but any ones after the second will go into the queue instead
6) also a small change with unoccupied queue slots
the rest is under the readmore :')
so, i've been thinking about adding this sort of portrait as a commission option!! fairly simple compositions but fully rendered (because i darn love painting so much; cellshading is nice and all, but coloring it all in one layer is just... heart-eyes), on the big 2600px to 3800px canvases as well c: and i'm thinking of pricing commissions like these at 28 USD (feels like a good price but i'm accepting feedback on that — the point was to add something that's just straight up fully-rendered, but for the lower end of the pricetable, and the limitations of a headshot portrait feel fitting enough on both sides ;v; )
also portraits like these are fairly quick to draw, so the turnaround time would be fairly short! add to it that 1) these are fun, 2) i could use focusing on just the face and expressions rather than elaborate poses and all, 3) portraiture lighting my beloved, and 4) these are painted, and don't take forever to figure out or paint. :D
but yeah, let me know what you think of the headshot portrait option!! would you folks be interested in something like this? :0c
and now hold on a moment, i have more things to say!! xD
commissions are reopening monday, jan. 23rd, at the usual 5pm BRT (UTC -3:00)!
6 active slots (previously known as regular slots; can't believe it's taken me years to figure out a better way of calling these orz), as well as another 24 slots on queue. these will remain open until further notice; money's tight right now, hence the lack of closing date :')
there should be plenty of slots either way tho, so no rush at all! but i apologize for the super short notice orz
also, i went and got all the commission info on a separate webpage on wix instead. here you go!
should be easier to access and read through stuff, particularly on mobile — or at least i sincerely hope it is, please leave me feedback if you can!!! let me know if you encounter Problems, i've looked and combed through every bit of these four (4) pages but i might have missed stuff still, pretty please let me know if you run into any Issues! ;-;
but yeah, the website has all the rules and info and all the different options as well, with extra examples and all. on monday, you'll also be able place orders directly through there, i made a little form and all c': technically the form is already there but pls don't send requests yet, i can't reserve slots ahead of time!
also also, and these are the last things i've got to say, i promise (and thank you if you've read this far!),
a couple commission rules are changing!
1) from this new batch onwards, i'll be charging commissions in full & upfront instead of the half-half system i'd been doing up until this point. the exception is if an order exceeds $80 USD; for those ones we'll return to the half-before-sketch + half-once-finished situation instead!
but how's that? :0c i hope this is alright, but please let me know if this would make commissions just... unaffordable ;o; i do really like the half-half system, and i'd rather keep it, but it's either this or raising prices, and i don't think i can do that yet :T either way, please let me know your thoughts on the matter!!
2) the only-two-slots-per-person rule will no longer be in effect, so go ham with multiple orders if you wish on monday — the caveat is that i'll still be working only on two orders at a time per person, so if you order three things, the third one will be placed at the end of the queue c:
looking back i could've... done this from the beginning. orz it should be more convenient to send multiple orders if you have 'em!
and finally, 3) if the queue list hits its closing date with slots still available, folks who have already ordered and would like to get in the queue again can go on and grab those empty queue slots if they want, instead of being limited to two slots per person per batch, and then having to wait for an entire new batch.
i opened this exception for the last round of commissions (thank you once again to the folks who wanted repeats ;-; ) so i thought i should just make it into a proper thing instead, since it does make sense to do it anyway — the queue list is purposefully filled with a ton of slots, then left open for weeks on end to make sure everyone interested can get their orders in, so letting folks claim those remaining slots after the deadline sounds fine ;v;
that being said, there won't be a deadline for this monday's batch, so this bit technically doesn't change anything xD but i thought i should mention the New Thing #6!
and that's it! that's all!
while i'm pretty set on most of these (specially the full-upfront-payment bit — again, money's tight orz), i'm still definitely open to feedback, and to change things if something doesn't work for you folks!! please do share your thoughts on it, or send a note if you'd rather!! and let me know if you have any questions too ;v;
i apologize for the super short notice again (and for cramming all of this into a single post) orz i'll be sorting things out until 5pm on monday, and getting these last commissions posted as well c:
thank you again for reading all of this orz and please don't feel obligated to reply to all the points if you have thoughts on only a specific one, i'd rather hear a little feedback than none at all ;o;
all in all, hope at least these portraits look nice, they were fun to work on :') Oliver, Owen and Steffan (previously known as the Swordsman/the Warlock — yup he's got a name now!); i'll get the other two of Matthew and Coriander done and posted!
thanks again folks, have a nice friday! ;w;
#artists on tumblr#my art#art#digital art#artenidae#finished stuff#oc stuff#;;oliver#;;owen#;;steffan#character art#oc art#original character#oc portrait#headshot drawing#oc painting#digital painting#fantasy oc#original character art#oc#i think these turned out really nice ;w;#haven't done portraits like this in a loooong time#there's matthew's and coriander's left to do#busy busy weekend#queuestione
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okay @thekimspoblog I wasn't gonna respond to this because we're not really going to get anywhere, we have different views about the characters and shows, but I figure I want to say a few more things before being done with this convo for good. I'm gonna do it here because I don't want to keep clogging OP's notifications with a discussion they didn't ask for.
I mean the fact that Vacuum Repair Guy wasn't involved in Kim's disappearance was a bit disappointing; that's at least partially what I'm getting at. That the two of them got embroiled in something so dangerous and yet when she up and left her witness-protection act was so shoddy. We seem to at least be in agreement that the ending was kind of rushed and weird, and that's leading to a lot of confusion about what the show was even trying to say.
Yes, I agree that the ending was not all that good. I'm not sure if rushed is the word I'd pick, maybe for kim's development? But that's not necessarily about the ending, more like the last two seasons. But I don't have a lot of doubt about what the show wanted to say.
I get the frustration about the vacuum cleaner guy not being involved in her disappearance but again I think that could be chalked up to doylist reasons -- I think the writers simply didn't want to use that plotline again. It'd be too repetitive and feel lazy. I mentioned him because, imo, if Jimmy wanted to save from Gus at any point after she left, he had that option but he never even tries.
I understand that her just going away and living peacefully in Florida might seem like a loose end but also, again, I don't believe that she posed such a threat to Gus. He had a lot more power over her than she had over him and he knew she couldn't count on the police or the law without airing out her own involvement. It would be her alone against his men and his empire. Plus she didn't work for him, they weren't close.
Also, it's not exactly like she could just show up at his door at any moment and try to kill him again, he saw how terrified and traumatized she was the first time around and she didn't even have to kill anybody. Kim's not Walt, she's more like a Jesse or even s1 walt -- they could kill out of desperation but not as a calculated move. She was not there yet. Maybe she could become more vicious with killing eventually, maybe that would be another miscalculation on Gus' part, but at that point when he knew her, she wasn't that person. The only person she'd do it for is Jimmy and she left him to supposedly fend for himself so.
Anyway, I acknowledge that seems like a loose end, I even agree to some extent that should've been better explained in the text, especially when you compare it to how Gus treated everyone else that knew about him.
I guess I'd need an example of one other time Jimmy's hurt feelings took precedent over letting Kim do whatever she wanted. Because I'd need both hands to count the times she did something which wounded his pride, and even if he complained he quickly chose to stuff it down and smile. That's not healthy either, but it shows how much of an exception for her he makes with his pettiness.
I didn't mean that he took his feelings out on her, or wanted "revenge" over her hurting his feelings. I meant that he could be so caught up on his own feelings and personal dramas that he overlooked her interests and how his shenanigans and personal vendettas against Howard, Chuck, HHM or whoever else, could negatively impact her or her career. Or just interfere with her plans in general, like in S5 when he goes against what she wants and sabotages her deal with her clients.
I get what you're saying, that Jimmy also avoids facing his problems. And you need to understand that even if I'm trying to paint Jimmy as a white knight, that's not a good thing. I just think that if we're talking about things Saul tells himself to be able to sleep at night, "Everyone already thinks the worst of me so why not prove them right" is only half the equation and "Everyone else hates me but they're all hypocrites and they're wrong about me because actually I'm a hopeless romantic and I'm doing the mature thing by handling the dirty work" is the other half. That's what was comfortable
Okay I get it, that's fair. But I think it's worth mentioning that what he tells himself is different from the truth. Just because he thinks (or lies to himself) he's doing the noble self-sacrificing thing, it doesn't mean that's the whole reason for why he does what he does. Additionally, I don't think "everyone thinks I'm the worst so I'm gonna prove them right" is true either, not entirely; it isn't just a self-destructive act for him, he actually enjoys what he does, "winning" over people and making a fool out of them, not only proving they were right about thinking the worst of him but also proving them wrong for underestimating his potential and how good he can be at what he does. That's also a very significant part of his character.
He likes it; him and Kim like making a fool out of people and winning, not just for a "good cause", not just against those who "deserve it". They like it for petty reasons too, they like it for shit and giggles and feeling good about themselves. That's their tragedy and a big part of their arc.
But I reiterate: "dealing with his problems" in this context would have meant unburdening himself of this terrible secret of what happened to his colleague and rejoining the "right" side of the legal field by cooperating with Eriksen. And even in a parallel universe where he wanted to do that, he couldn't have. So this secret had to just sort of weigh on his mind and continue to warp his perception of morality.
I disagree. I think what happened with Howard is just the tip of the iceberg. Jimmy's problems go way deeper than that. To reinterate, he could deal with his problems without having to confess to what happened with Howard, because his problems were never really about that. Howard was just a consequence.
A lot of this comes down to the fact that ironically we still never SAW an average day in the law offices of Saul Goodman. In BCS we get to see this devastating chain of events that lead up to him launching his practice, and in BrBa, we saw him interact with ONE client who was such a pain in the ass to work for that it eventually torpedoed his career. But we still aren't given key details like... what percentage of his clients were cartel and who were just regular poor people, whether Jimmy breaking the law to serve the interests of his clients was a regular thing, how often Mike offered him "jobs" and what kind, whether Jimmy ever rejected those job offers, or what his relationship to Gus was leading up to him recommending him to Walter.
I get what you're saying but I also want to ask, why? Why do we need to see all that? Why do we need to see saul's day to day? Why do we need to know his other clients and what were his true connections to Gus or the cartel? I don't see how knowing the answers to those questions would change the story in a significant way. The only thing it would change is the extent to which one might be willing to "absolve" saul or not. And that's what I take issue with.
Jimmysaul doesn't need absolving, we don't need to see how many old ladies he helped crossing the street to get a better understanding of his character. Everything's already there in both shows, "the good, the bad and the ugly". That would not change anything. Jimmy was Saul and Saul was Jimmy. Saul was always there in him and vice versa (and differently from walt and his heisenberg, we actually see Jimmy being Saul prior to Kim leaving: chuck dying is the catalyst but he was Saul even before that as well. So it's not really about "transformation" like Walt's story supposedly was). You seem to want an "acceptable" reason to reconcile the Jimmy you like with the Jimmy you don't like in your mind, but there isn't a clean-cut one.
To further use brba as an example, we also don't know many things about those characters and their lives prior to the pilot. We don't know who Walt was prior to his diagnosis, we don't even know exactly what happened between him and Elliot, Gretchen and grey matter, and that's a pretty important part of the story that's mostly left for the viewers to fill-in the blanks however they like it. The Walt we see in the few flashbacks we get is very different from the Walt from the pilot. How did he get to that point? How good of a husband and father he was prior to his diagnosis? Judging by how skyler and walt jr react in the first season, I'd say he was an okay-to-good one.
We also don't know much about Jesse and his parents' relationship prior to the point we see, when they've already given up on him. We don't know much about Skyler and Marie's background and home life, why their relationship was strained and sometimes difficult, why Skyler has an unhealthy need to keep up the appearance of a happy family to her kids even to the detriment of herself or their own safety.
And we don't need to see all that, all those details, because we can piece it together with what we were given. That's the style of these writers and I actually appreciate it more often than not, because it's not didactic and it doesn't give fans an easy excuse to woobify the characters (which is why I was mad over the flashbacks in BCS that do that) Because at the end of the day, it would not change a thing. It would not change what happened and what they did.
Anyways I went off on a tangent but yeah I think the narrative they were able to tell with BCS and BrBa were enough to give us a glimpse of who jimmysaulgene is and just like you said I assumed you were trying to paint him as morally good, you seem to assume that I'm trying to paint him as morally bad but that's not the case either. I'm just at peace with the parts that make him "unlikeable" to some viewers. (Because let's face it, even if we acknowledge that doing 'immoral' things out of love is selfish and Wrong, we're still conditioned and socialized to think of it as a "less of" evil, one that's not only understandable but even forgivable. It's the other less "pretty and romantic" selfish reasons were more reluctant to accept).
Because ultimately that's what the shows were about. The circumstances that drove those characters to do what they did and become what they became are important (and I think you're not entirely wrong in questioning how well the writers were able fit them in the story) butt at the end of the day, both shows were always character studies, so no matter how trapped the characters might've felt in their situations, the point is that they ended where they did mostly by their own hands, because they did what they wanted, because they followed their "worst impulses".
It was about them and their own flaws. I could come up with a bunch of reasons for why walt did a lot of the things he did; I understand why he didn't take elliott's money and I think it makes sense, I don't hate him for it, I can even sympathize with where he's coming from. But just because I can understand and sympathize doesn't mean that I think he couldn't or shouldn't have done differently. Circumstances are important but ultimately the characters are trapped in a prison of their own making. Mike chose to continue as a corrupt cop even when he wasn't a cop anymore, he just had a different boss. Nacho and Jesse are probably the closest we had of characters that were trapped by other people but even then, they had their chances to get out. Jesse even more so than Nacho.
I'm not trying to say jimmy had "complete free will". I acknowledge that the line separating what is free will and what isn't might seem blurry in this show and I think that's done intentionally. I understand jimmy might have felt like there was no going back for him, like Mike did (although I think the fact Kim was able to leave makes a pretty strong case against that, highlighting how him continuing down that road was his choice more so than anything else). I even acknowledge that getting out wasn't an easy feat but the point is that: 1) he had that option; and 2) he didn't even try.
I see BCS as a show about people rather than fate, so I think not accounting for their choices or trying to soften the role they played in their own tragedy works against the goal of analyzing them as people. Jimmy ultimately did what he wanted; maybe he wasn't happy, maybe he wanted to be with Kim more, but attributing his Saul trajectory solely to Kim and him not being with her is not accurate reading of the character and the show, imo. He was more than that and he had more reasons to be the way he was than her. His ideal world was to have his cake and eat it too, having her by his side. She was the one that didn't want it. Being with Kim wouldn't solve Jimmy's problems and it didn't, we saw that.
So Jimmy might have believed what he wanted about himself, it was comfortable for him to believe he had no choice (because then he wouldn't have to take responsibility over his choices, something he always avoided), it was comfortable for him to believe that he was doing it all for Kim (even if we don't have any evidence that's what he thought). It was more comfortable for him to be Saul Goodman than being Jimmy McGill because Jimmy McGill came with a lot of baggage.
That's how I view it anyway. That's my interpretation of the show and I think it was supported by the text in the end. But you're free to have a different view of it.
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dude your art is so good, do you have any advice for how to improve as an artist who hasn't been very consistent ? I'd love to know what resources you use for studies,how you lay out sketch pages,what you choose to study,any websites you use for art,etc? No pressure ofc! You don't even have to post this, just know you're one of my biggest art inspo blogs 😊
gahhh aehehahe i really appreciate this ^_^ really kind words :D, anyway my one advice is get incredibnly obssesed with a ccharacter and draw them over and over for 5 years. jk.. i hsve other advice 2 :grin: i think, personally what helped me grow was really having other artists evaluate my art and really taking constructive criticism to heart and working on whatever issues i have consistently in my art whether its anatomy or coloring or rendering. i think it is great 2 have other artist friends who can help you and eachother imrpove! i think also pushing yourself to draw things your uncomfortable with like strange angles and different features and really just working on understanding the human form helped me draw more consistently, for me im now at the stage where i am experimenting with my style but before that i was focused on really getting the basics, i think now that i understand like, figure drawing and such i have been able to focus on getting a consistent art style if thats what you mean? but again ive done alot of figure drawings and loose poses. i remember watching this video a couple years ago that helped me get on the track 2 studying figures specifically !! i do not know if it will be of service to you but here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGhYfLQWbp0 , also ive done some studies of figure drawings from other really good artists i was looking at this one book ill try to see if i can remember later. but yea i study from life and other artists, when it comes to painting i find alot of inspiration from stuff i find on pinterest and also other artists on tumblr lol gahh i have been writing alot my bad, but yea i usually google references for poses i dont really use any like, artist reference websites even though i should lol. but yea overall i have done like soo many gesture drawings, and when i frst got into tf2 i studied the comics artstyle alot which i think helped alot with my style and understanding all the muscles in the face you know, also for sketch pages i literally just start a drawing of something and draw around the empty space around it lol, i do not really plan them ever, in like physical sketchbooks i try to fill in the space between all my other sketches so all my drawings kind of meld into eachother cause i think it looks neat, anyway sorry 4 the essay and i hope any of this helps!! '^_^ if u have any more questions feel free 2 ask
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Artist/ Fic Writer Interview
I was tagged by the magnificent darling Chrissy @you-are-so-much-better-than-that who came up with the artist questions, the sensational sweetheart Harvey @mikhailoisbaby & honeypie Willow @ian-galagher thank youuu 🥰
1. Do you post on Ao3? If so, how many works do you have on AO3? If not, where do you post?
I don't post my art on ao3 but on tumblr 😊
2. What is your total art count?
17 🎨
3. What are your top 5 pieces by likes/kudos?
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do respond by liking them bc most comments are in the tags & idk should i respond in the comments? lol
5. What is your current fandom, and what was the first fandom you drew for?
Current fandom: Gallavich & First fandom i drew for & shared my art is Gallavich but probably first fandom was maybe soul eater
6. Have you ever received hate on any art?
Not hate but a complaint on my gallacrafts for theme 11 I'm fucking gay. I got an anon asking why I made the lesbian flag & put the phrase I'm fucking gay & i that should have just done lesbian although I had actually made both but it was on the part 2 bc i had a limit of 10 pictures.
7. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t drawn for yet but want to?
Maybe Spirk or Soul x Maka from Soul Eater
8. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
Gallavich most definitely, they hit all my likes in a ship plus they're canon & married to boot! #spoiled 😆
9. Do you draw outside of fandom?
Yeah I started getting back into drawing with makinng flowers for mutual's birthday 🥰 I've also made little mascots of baby animals for my niece's baby shower
10. What’s the an art piece you’ve drawn that came out completely differently than you expected?
Probably the GGE2022 for Macy. I had some other ideas. Also their poses were gonna be different like it was either the back of them looking at snow or tumbled into the snow on top of an ny roof top but still not the best at figure drawing so i just did the best of my abilities 😄
11. Do you draw smut?
Not yet but one day 😏
12. Have you ever had any of your art stolen or copied?
Not that I know of
13. Have you ever collaborated on a piece?
No but I think it could be fun to do 🖼
14. What’s an idea you have that you have yet to draw?
Snow king Mickey & Snowflake fae Ian that was gonna be my 2nd choice for the GGE2022 but i loved making fanart for Macy 🥰
Crop top Ian & Mickey in Ian's ROTC hat
Smoo fae Mickey in Ian's arms from a reference pic i saw here
15. What are your drawing strengths?
Faces, hair, blushing & colouring maybe?
16. What are your drawing weaknesses?
Poses, hands & backgrounds
17. What’s your favourite art piece you’ve drawn?
I would say my good omens au I simply adorethe little details I put into the drawing. I referenced Mickey's outfit in Ian's delete scene dream. Ian's outfit is 7x10 just in darker colours. I loved being able to create Ian's ombre eyes by colour picking Cameron's hazel ones. Ian's hair shading. The heart wings & being able to creat the wing texture on the angel wing. AND their signature shows with the timberland & bright read air forces!!! I had such a fun time drawing this 🥰 Also it was my 100,000 post lol
18. What is one thing you’d like to tell people about your art that they might not know?
My gallavich art is the first time I've been colouring my drawings. When I drew a lot in high school I would just do the line art & was too hesitant to colour them.
19. What inspires or motivates you to create for fandom?
Definitely you guys! Being able to make you guys smile. As well as your creations & the creating events 💕🖌
20. And finally, can you describe your process a little? Do you have a favourite place to draw? Do you play something in the background? Do you do research or just go for it? Give us a little insight.
I do like to crawl up into a hunched ball on the lounge couch or my bed (which should stop bad for posture lol) Then I do enjoy playing YouTube video essays about internet history/horror games I'd never play or movie reactions.
Also, I am more of an artist who researches & and works with many references. I got a whole lotta unclosed tabs of Ian & Mickey, body poses & clothes that i forgot to close lol.
So I’m not a fic writer yet! 😉 But here are the interviews questions if you guys wanna ❤️
Fic Writer Interview
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
7. Do you write crossovers?
8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
11. Have you ever had a fic translated?
12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?
14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
15. What are your writing strengths?
16. What are your writing weaknesses?
17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?
19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?
20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
I’m tagging these twinkling hearts if they wanna play 🥰 @mrsinistertype @crossmydna @friend-bear @darthvaders-wife @psychicskulldamage @divine-gallavich @very-sleepy-head @deathclassic @celestialmickey @depressedstressedlemonzest @suchagallabitch @bekkachaos @ianandmickeygallavich @milkoviched @grumpymickmilk @gallavichgeek @annatrow @sisitrip @lalazeewrites @imikhailotakeyouian @look-i-love-u @suzy-queued @y0itsbri @mishervellous @filorux @jomilky @auds-and-evens @xninetiestrendx @beebabycastiel @bravemikhailo @arrowflier @shameless-notashamed @adakechi @skies-below @takeyourpillsbitchh @mikcrymilkovich @tsuga-of-mars @ardent-fox @you-show-me-love @wehangout
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Ch. 23 - Preparations
"Suguru!" You repeatedly shouted through the halls of the castle in search for your husband. You had eventually found him hard at work in his study. "Suguru!" You exclaimed with a bit more calmness in your voice now that you were in front of him. "Guess what!"
He looked up and softened his frustrated expression as soon as he met your gaze. It looked like he had been working on some serious looking paperwork, the quill quivering in his hand before settling after seeing your face.
"Hey, Y/N," he greeted with his soft, nasally voice. "Where's Satoru? I told him to watch over you after you left the table."
"Oh..." you felt a bit heartbroken at his sudden change in topic, but then again, he was concerned for your safety first. You had to appreciate that. "He never showed..." You waited patiently for any sign to continue discussing your discovery.
"That good for nothing..." Suguru hissed under his breath and rolled his eyes. "Sorry," he shook his head and brought his attention back to you. You now noticed the dark bags under his eyes. He hadn't been sleeping well ever since the incident, you could tell by how much he'd toss and turn at night ever since you'd started sharing a chamber. "What happened?" He asked with a gentle, intrigued smile.
"I. Have. A. Technique." You said in separate sentences, your wide smile back on your face. Suguru gave you a funny look with a bit of hesitance. He knew he already explained how jujutsu and cursed energy works, but he figured something had to have happened to convince you of this. "It happened while I was practicing my archery!"
"You have a technique? How did it present itself?" He asked, shaking his head still in disbelief before returning to the scribbles in front of him.
"I was able to manipulate the arrow using my energy! I was able to move its trajectory and control its speed! It was amazing!" You explained while walking closer to his desk, slightly leaning on its edge once you made your way over.
Suguru seemed distracted as he furiously finished the sentence he was writing. "Are you sure it wasn't a fluke?" He asked. The way he had phrased it felt a little hurtful compared to how you were used to hearing him.
"What's that?" You inquired about his distraction. "It looks serious."
"It's...like a will in a way," he described with a deep breath. He leaned back in his chair to take a break from it. "It's to protect the kingdom should something happen to me."
"What?" You giggled. "Nothing's going to happen to you." Suguru bit on the inner flesh of his mouth as he avoided eye contact.
"Sukuna's incredibly powerful," he reminded you, "and Satoru is much more powerful than I, but Sukuna will still pose a challenge -- which puts my life at risk. Satoru and I will always do our part to protect one another, but when it comes to the safety of our kingdoms, humanity even, that has to come first. He can't think about me during the fight."
"What are you saying?" Your voice dropped at the same time as your confused facial expression.
"The likelihood of my death occurring during this fight is much higher than I'd like to admit. This contract signs our kingdom over to Satoru. And don't worry, you're taken care of within these pages as well -- you and your family."
"No," you said flatly, standing straight up from your leaning position on the desk. "You have to let us help you. Kento and I, we both have techniques."
"I won't allow it," Suguru suddenly stood after digesting your words. His face was that of anger, a type of anger you hadn't seen out of him before. "I'm not allowing you to get killed, you or Kento." Suguru sighed after a long pause and sat back in his chair. You held back a bit of anger with a determined look on your face. "Honestly, Satoru should be able to handle Sukuna himself for the most part with myself as support."
"Then why doesn't he?!" You passionately whined, leaning forward on the desk now with your anger painted on your face.
"Sukuna is cunning and elusive. Any sort of support, a distraction even, will be helpful to Satoru," Suguru hesitantly explained. "This man...this thing...is the King of Curses after all."
You didn't know what else to say. You felt completely defeated, your pouted up face the only thing you could muster as you stood in front of him. Suguru saw your disappointment and immediately acted.
"Listen," his voice was as soft as it had ever been as he stood from his desk and gently walked to you. He placed delicate hands on your upper arms to encourage you to look up at him, even if it meant your pout was still on your face. "I'm going to finish these pages and then how about the two of us enjoy a night in together?"
You twisted your pout a small bit, a sign of wavering. "I want to help," you grumbled almost inaudibly.
"Something tells me that the end is almost near," he sighed, "we don't have much time left. Please...let's enjoy what we have."
Your pout fell into a full on frown as you felt something in your chest physically snap in two. It was a special kind of heartbreak, one you detested above all of the heartbreaks you had ever felt before -- given that amount was few.
Without any other words exchanged, you turned and left him standing alone. You gave him once last sad glance as you closed the large double doors behind you, a heartbroken look on his face.
With a sullen expression, you made your way toward Suguru's bedchamber. You took your time getting ready for the evening hours, washing up, changing clothes, and fixing your hair. The peaceful sunset was incredibly deceiving. The bright oranges and yellows that opened up into the dark blue sky made it look as if the field just outside of the window was on fire.
It felt like it had been ages since you left Suguru in the chancery. You were curled up on your side of the mattress attempting to read a book by candlelight despite your fatigue from the day's activities, the newest challenge in your reading journey.
Suddenly, a gentle knock coincidentally sounded on the other side of the heavy wooden door. Without needing your approval, Suguru gently pushed it open with a soft smile on his face.
The heartbroken feeling in your chest returned, the immediate need to envelop him in your arms drove you to toss your book and dart from the bed.
"Suguru," you sadly muffled into his chest as you buried your face there. "I never want to let you go." He gave his usual low chuckle as he stroked your head, fully embracing you. "I can't help but want all of the work you went through drafting those pages to go to waste," you chuckled, pulling away from him and wiping a stray tear from your face.
"I long for that as well," he sighed heavily, the soft smile spreading in relief. Your presence always calmed him, no matter the impending war that weighed on his shoulders. "But for now," he laced his fingers with yours and pulled you toward the bed, "we're alright for now." You noticed how his voice started to shake as the two of you sat on the edge of the mattress. He had again pressed your face into his chest, his chin resting atop your head as you felt him staring out of the nearby window. "You'll be okay come morning light."
#getou suguru x y/n#getou suguru x you#getou suguru x reader#suguru geto x reader#suguru getou x y/n#suguru getou x you#suguru getou x reader#geto suguru x y/n#geto suguru x you#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto x you#suguru geto x y/n#suguru geto#geto suguru#suguru getou#getou suguru#jjk#jujutsu kaisen
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