#life kinda sucks as a multiple but i thought this phrase was meant to like. inspire hope the future would make more space and accommodations | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

musashi · 5 years

Note

I follow Game Grumps but not super closely (I dont watch their streams), and I was wondering what you meant by reading about what Arins doing? I thought he was doing okay and happy, but I also haven't followed them super closely so I'm probably super out of the loop

i’ve just kinda been a fan since the beginning (like, jon era beginning, i started watching gg in HIGH SCHOOL and im fuckin 23 now) and i kinda used to stan arin and suzy both. i felt a lot of protection over arin because i noticed members of the community villainized him a lot, and they didn’t seem to really have much to go on other than like... he’s an angry dude who’s internet famous. when people would talk abt him they’d always say they didn’t like him because of ‘vibes’ and when him and jon stopped working together a LOT of people sided with jon because jon was the more Sympathetic One(tm) in the breakup which just made me stan arin harder because i’ve been a victim of ‘the angry one is always the wicked one’ my whole life.

(i know jon is a fucking white nationalist and all those people were wrong on principle, and my dislike of arin going forward does not imply i agree w/ them. fuck jon. fuck jon forever, the only good nazi is a dead one.)

and i still believe he was a good person back then, but he’s just really fallen, and now when i find myself reading those same sentiments about him i rly don’t resonate much anymore w/ the fiery child who would defend everything he did.

the most notable incident people call out is the fact that a fan once quoted the ‘goddamnit ross’ meme at arin (i think at a con?) and arin went off on them for it and basically said it was an in-joke and that he hated how popular it had gotten in the fandom because it was something ross’s friends did in good fun and it had gotten out of hand, completely ignoring the fact that arin once MADE AND SOLD MERCH with the phrase on it. the fan then donated money during a livestream with an apology message attached and arin CALLED OUT THE FAN ON THE LIVESTREAM. for apologizing. arin referred to them as ‘some rando on the internet’ completely disrespecting them even though they were. a fucking fan of his.

that was the first thing that kinda coloured my vision but the closer i look the more i realize he’s just... so mean? i liked game grumps because it was this show i could put on and i felt like i was chilling with them and playing games and talking about life and stuff. but now you can’t podcast with game grumps, because arin and danny don’t really talk, arin just screams at whatever’s on the screen with basically no interludes away from that. when danny expresses joy at anything arin doesn’t agree with, arin utterly steamrolls danny as if he isn’t ALLOWED to like things. danny more than once has tried to go into one of the stories he tells, the ones that were the reason i fell for him in the first place, and arin will interrupt him with some seriously juvenile lowest common denominator south park humour.

and the whole... not actually being good at games thing has just gotten so frustrating. there was a time where i liked it, because it was fun to watch arin rage and come up with creative ways of expressing that rage (battle kid. think battle kid.) but nowadays if he can’t play a game he always leans on the side of ‘this is bad.’ he skips tutorials and then denounces games entirely and disrespects the shit out of them, it’s always the game’s fault and never his. i’d watched every single zelda playthrough they’d ever done and i knew once i saw skyward sword come out that i just couldn’t anymore. that’s my favourite zelda game, and i knew arin would just bitch about every single second of it, and apparently he did. he did and whenever danny tried to lighten the mood, he apparently just. talked over him and basically said fuck you.

and i guess hearing arin was no longer straightedge just kinda like, really made me wake up and realize he’s not the same person he was. i remember he used to say he didn’t drink because hearing the way people described it, he thought he’d be an alcoholic if he ever tried. and i think he was right. he got piss ass drunk on an undertale live stream recently, enough so that danny had to just short of beg the dude to drive him home. and that’s his JOB. grumps is his JOB, and he just gets drunk now and sucks at games.

beyond that idk he sounds terrible at managing a business... multiple people who have worked with him have said shit just really sucks... he seems to be struggling for money as he’s selling a bunch of shit (he just recently sold a bunch of RWBY action figures monty fucking oum gave him, which if you know that name you know why that’s fucked up) and poorly managing events (the most recent being a garage sale they didn’t cap properly resulting in hundreds of fans out in the burning LA summer getting completely fucked over, iirc without water or anything) and i’m just. fed up. this isn’t even half of what i’ve read about & noticed. there’s a lot of stupid shit on rantgrumps but like...... i’ve checked a lot of this stuff with my own ass eyes and i’m just so disappointed and sad.

#wank /#i guess #Anonymous #wendy answers

16 notes · View notes

bardofv0id · 5 years

Text

Meat vs. Candy: Meat

Here’s the thing.

I’m hearing two main arguments online... a lot of people saying the epilogues are Terrible, for various reasons, and a few people saying they're Good, with a smaller but vocal subset of those people arguing that if you don’t like them then you’re obviously just expecting to be spoon-fed a fluff ending in which the Character You Like gets a wish-fulfillment storybook epilogue.

There are probably some people who are mad about not getting that. However, I think misrepresenting the range of anger various parts of the fandom are experiencing as being purely some kind of childish knee-jerk tantrum at not getting the toy they wanted is disingenuous, at best, and parallels some of the mistakes of the epilogues themselves. Note that this in no way excuses or justifies people sending the writers or anyone else death-threats or whatever the hell else has been going on.

Honestly... the Meat ending was pretty good writing, in my opinion. It wasn’t comfortable or happy or flattering in any way to a number of characters who I recognize people care deeply about, but it was nothing really worse than I expected from Earth C, based on the fundamental narrative of Lord English’s giant closed-loop system. The loop had to close, in order for Homestuck proper to occur at all. That means that Earth C is where Calliope and Caliborn hatch and grow up, far, far in the future. And that means that universe, like the others, will be destroyed by a SBURB session one day. Sorry, folks. It was never meant to be a 'happy ending'.

Meat was deeply metatextual. It was gristly and greasy and discomfiting. It raised questions about what it means to have a narrator, and whose biases are implicitly included--and I think those are very interesting questions to raise, whether or not they are particularly satisfying to someone who is also reading for the characters.

Spoilers beyond the read-more, for obvious reasons.

That said, there were elements that did surprise me. The removal of the other kids from different points in different doomed timelines, to fight with John against LE, rather than being his teammates from Earth C--but from John’s perspective, it doesn’t seem like there’s much difference. Either way, they’re not fully ‘real’ to him (and barely feel real to us, as quickly as they appear and then die). He’s from the Game Over timeline, he’s battling depression, and nobody in the retcon timeline is really quite authentic to him, either--just as to many fans, they didn’t feel quite authentic, when the retcon happened and we had to suddenly let go of the characters we'd watched grow and change, replaced by funhouse mirror reflections and could-have-beens.

I’ve also seen some reasonably interesting arguments that a lot of Dirk’s narration, in the Meat route, either sounds eerily like Vriska talking or flips back and forth between Vriska-mode and Dirk-mode, well before alt!Calliope ever gets involved. I’m prepared to believe some Serket element (whether that is potentially Vriska, or the Aranea who was abruptly displaced from her attempt at wresting control of the narrative by John) was involved there, and Dirk was not acting entirely of his own accord. I’m also prepared to shrug and say “okay, maybe it was just a narrative parallel--Homestuck does that a lot”. Some narration, especially when Terezi is involved, doesn't sound at all how I would expect a Serket-influenced narrator to sound with regards to her, in particular. It doesn’t particularly grind my gears to think some version of Dirk, in the right environment, might make a series of choices that leads him to behaving like this, entirely on his own. I recognize that it’s upsetting to DirkJake fans in particular to see their favorite pairing written like this, but it doesn’t feel wholly out of character to me for either of them to develop in these directions, given the right (or wrong) pressures and external situations. This Dirk is the culmination of a very wide multiplicity of Dirks, including at least one if not more who ended up directly subsumed in Lord English and/or under his explicit influence.

I’ve heard that some people were attacking the Meat route on the grounds of transphobia, which... I think is a rather weak argument, given that it’s recognized in the text itself, as pronoun changes are handled respectfully by one narrator-character and inconsistently by a second, who is being set up as the villain of the story. That seems like a pretty solid metatextual rejection of the action, no? Like, if a villain does a bad thing, in a story, while the hero is fighting them, do you argue that the story itself advocates for that thing? There has to be some kind of distinction between ‘character does X’ and ‘author of story advocates X is Morally Correct’, or we would never have any villains at all. Dirk's dismissiveness toward Roxy's agency grows, the further toward 'villain' he slides.

Were there some things I liked, in Meat? I guess. From a sociopolitical and cultural standpoint, the shitty repercussions of the way the retcon gang set up a planet, dumped a bunch of chess people and clone grubs, then left them to do all the work of creating its society and waiting for their eventual 'godly' return... were pretty logical. I'm actually happy that it was acknowledged, instead of just brushed off as inconsequential. It was interesting, too, to see some of the kids playing with notions of gender identity as they grew, and how their companions adjusted. It was telling (in terms of Dirk's character development) how he thought of Roxy and Calliope's gender explorations as something he could choose to 'allow' or not. Also, with how truncated most of the gang's personal development (and plot development) was in Homestuck proper ('thanks', retcon!Vriska), I think it kinda made sense how stunted and incapable of like... dealing with regular life in a functional way a lot of them seemed. Jumping straight to teenage 'godhood' didn't make them experienced or smart. It's sad that all of them just kind of... stagnate there, but Earth C has always felt incredibly stagnant to me.

Retcon!Vriska getting swallowed by the black hole was at least thematically fitting, though I'm wondering why she is using such Seer-themed language, suddenly. I also like that the wallet is finally back in play. Rose and Dirk's philosophical debate about individuation and free will is delightfully creepy, given the themes of the story. There are moments, within the story, that the turns of phrase and the humor just hit me full in the teeth and remind me this is Homestuck, and I do love those moments. And of course, my xenobiological worldbuilding interests enjoyed that apparently, earth onions are quite toxic to trolls.

Were there things I didn’t like in Meat? Yeah, of course. I don't particularly like that John, an Heir of Breath--one who is innately positioned to awaken Breath, freedom and motivation in the people around him--callously shoves an unresisting teenager he's barely met into a refrigerator and just leaves him there, apparently convinced he deserves it.

Did some of the things I disliked relate to the storytelling itself, rather than just how characters were characterized, or what actions they took? Yeah. Why are we still out here queer-baiting with Dave and Karkat? Years have passed. They have spent literal years sitting 1.5 feet apart so it's 'not gay'? I sincerely don't think this pairing is actually healthy or beneficial to either of them, the way it developed in canon, but come on. Then, they still balk and drag their feet unless it's being narratively pushed on them by someone else. It's just painful to watch.

I also take a certain level of personal offense as a Tavros fan when the narrative goes out of its way to repeatedly harp on Tavros being useless and no one giving a shit what he's doing. Ghost Tavros was awesome, okay, and was personally responsible for gathering the ghost army, so fuck you, Vriska-coded narrator. You have bad judgment. But that is not a crime of writing, if it is an intentionally biased perspective and not just writers taking cheap shots at a character they don't happen to like. I'm just incredibly tired of it being done habitually and collectively, as a fandom, to that character in particular. Furthermore, I'm really discomfited by the way Tavros's development (am I the only one who remembers him dancing and telling Vriska to suck it?) is completely ignored and de-legitimized by having him immediately fawning on her, trailing around after her, hiding against her shoulder, etc. Tavros was a victim of emotional and physical abuse, at Vriska's hands. Can we just agree to stop narratively forcing victims back into contact with their abusers, period? It's not a good look.

Moreover, there's the whole misogyny angle. When does a story about misogynistic characters (and narrators) doing misogynistic things while misogynistic shit narratively happens start being a critique of misogynistic tropes rather than a tired old rehash? Every step Jane (allegedly a strong, independent woman, though also stepping into her dictatorial role as 'Heiress') takes is either dictated by Dirk, sent into a complete tailspin that upends her confidence by Jake, or verbally decried as factually wrong and/or stupid by Dave and/or Karkat. Rose and Kanaya both have their agency overwritten and end up separated from each other through the actions of Dirk, and Rose becomes an extension of Dirk, losing her very selfhood. Jade is treated as an accessory to the DaveKat trainwreck, simultaneously discounted as actually emotionally relevant and blamed for its ludicrous problems. She, of course, also ends up having her agency overwritten as she's plunged into a coma and possessed, prevented from actually having reactions to the things that are going on, or taking action for herself. Borrowed!Rose and Jade are KO'd almost instantly in the fight against Lord English, and become either literally erased, or dead weight for a male character to drag around until it's no longer convenient. Terezi admits to wasting a huge amount of time trailing around after Vriska--who was an emotionally abusive gaslighter to her, on the retcon!meteor. (And we're back to victims being constantly evaluated according to their proximity to their abusers again.) Then, she's on to redirecting herself into some quest on John's behalf, instead. She's still not living for herself. Finally, you show me an Aradia who would ever, ever be concerned about 'saying more embarrassing stuff' around Dave, or thinking of him as an ‘outrageously cool dude’, and I'll show you a bridge I'd like to sell you. That ain't any Aradia I've ever seen. So who’s narrating there, Dirk again? A third party?

Other weird things: apparently Jane's kidnapping in the snapchats just... never gets explained or referenced again? I went back to reread those, and they connected to Meat even more than I realized at first. I guess Jane grew up to be... exactly what she was raised/groomed to be, which is *uncomfortable* but not particularly shocking. I feel bad for people who were hoping for happier endings for the human kids, but I don't think I ever really expected Homestuck to serve up happy endings. I don't buy that things in the snapchat were just thrown in at random, though. Those elements were there for a reason, and arguing that everything in the snapchats were connected to the epilogues EXCEPT that one major extended plotline doesn't make sense. Especially when it visually and narratively seems to be a direct link to the events of the Meat storyline.

Also, where the fuck are the sprites? We never see or hear from Jasprosesprite, Gcatavrosprite, or the Nannasprite(s?) again. I’m not sure anyone cares, but. Uh. Yeah.

I have other thoughts regarding the classpect-coded language that crops up pretty frequently in the epilogues, but I think I will devote a separate post to that, if I get around to it, given that this *is* at heart a classpecting blog.

So anyway, Meat ends, it's depressing and futile and grim, I get it. I don't like every element, but it hangs together as a story with a narrative, overall.

Then we get to Candy.

Hoo boy.

I’ll tackle that one next, but as it was considerably more upsetting for me to read, rereading it for fact-checks and commentary is going to be a lot harder for me. I’ll get through it here sooner or later, though.

#homestuck #upd8 #upd8 spoilers #homestuck epilogue #epilogue spoilers #spoilers #tw: abuse #tw: misogyny

25 notes · View notes

emperorlotorr · 6 years

Text

Lotor redemption

I’m relatively certain that vld is not gonna go on the path I’m gonna talk about but instead is gonna go with the redemption equals death or came back wrong strategy (warning to you all, I love using tropes from tvtropes, i practically live by scrolling thro it)

First let’s look at why Lotor can’t be the hero he wants to be

Lack of empathy. This one is pretty obvious. Lotor realizes that his actions were wrong, that sucking alteans dry is not a right thing to do or at least, is gonna be frowned upon (”now I know what you all must think of me”). What he doesn’t understand is why they can’t see that in the end, it’s for the greater good. He doesn’t know why Alura reacts the way she does when she learns about it or why she understandably, lashes out. The ultimate reason for this is because although he loves the concept of alteans, his altean side and of their culture, he doesn’t love the individuals. He doesn’t love any individuals up until this point because fundamentally, he doesn’t know what love is, which brings us to the second point: upbringing

Galra culture: Zarko practically sucked empires dry just for the power and because he liked doing it. Same for Haggar. The Galra empire was already built on a warrior’s way (the story Dayak tells us proves that) and a rigid class system. Lotor may detest his galra side but he’s still half galra and he was raised in the galra empire. This is not to take away the fact that he’s a grown man and makes his own decisions. However, what we consider to be ethical is very much influenced by our environment. You don’t have to look at aliens to know that. Of course, killing people seems to be a universally abhorrent thing to do, the galra probably don’t consider it very noteworthy. Victory or death is a phrase that is repeated multiple times, by both Lotor and his ‘governess’, if the galra live by that standard, they will probably expect everyone else to do so too, if they’re honourable. Meaning if you get killed, you just aren’t worthy or honourable. What Lotor did is inexcusable, I promise this isn’t some apologetic lotor thing.

Lack of genuine bonds. Going back to the keith parallel I mentioned in a previous post, Voltron clearly shows that Keith had actual bonds with people for the most part of his life. His father loved him, there’s no evidence against it, Shiro saw something in him and always supported him and later on he has the voltron team and even later on, he gets to spend two years with his mother to reconcile and realise that she has always loved him more than anything in the world. Lotor doesn’t have any of those things, he doesn’t realise what the alteans mean to allura, not really. Like I said, he’s in love with the concept of being altean, he wants to be accepted by them (i don’t believe being worshipped was part of his plan but rather, he took what he could get and he wouldn’t recognize actual affection if it smacked him in the face back then) but he truly doesn’t actually know them. Studying a culture and actually being a prt of it is something entirely different. Lotor never formed any substantial bonds with the alteans because 1) he probably couldn’t and had to leave a lot and 2) he doesn’t trust anyone, not even his own generals. it’s pretty clear that whoever he made friends with, somewhere at the back of his mind, there was always the possibility of betrayal no matter what.

Plot neccesity: Look, they needed a big evil reveal. Lotor hadn’t done anything truly evil or vile before this. He chased voltron a bit, tricked them into getting some space comet for him, killed Narti because she was spying on him and... conquered some planet peacefully,I guess? (he got throk tortured but the protagonists didn’t know bout that, also, getting a galra tortured isn’t going to tell the audience how bad he is, it’s more or less foreshadowing that indeed, he’s not as nice as he presents himself but it’s not truly evil. Nothing that warrants the need for redemption) And ofc for 80s nostalgia, Lotor couldn’t be a genuinely good person (not that i’ve watched the 80s version)

What a redemption arc really needs to work out and not feel cheap

Genuine remorse: you’d think this is fairly obvious but more often than not, this part is just left out.The heroes encounter a bigger, scarier big bad and then the kinda murderer comes in, helps everyone, in the end, all is either forgiven or the murderer dies. Lotor needs to realise why what he did was wrong and own up to it. Realise where he went wrong, both in his thought process and obviously, in the actual act, and decide to do better. For this to work, the second point needs to happen

Feelings for Allura: Lotor needs to figure out what he actually feels for Allura and what she feels for him. (or felt for him lmao) Was it really love, or something meant to be? Or just two people, desperately latching on to each other for different and not always healthy reasons. He needs to really understand that what he did to her was wrong, for that he needs to realise why she was angry. If his feelings for her are genuine, it would make this realisation easier, if a person really means that much to you, you’ll do the work. Most of all, under no circumstances can Lotor feel like she owes it to him to forgive him or like they’re still meant to be regardless of her own opinion. As soon as he goes down this road, seeing Allura not as a person but a destiny, an inevitabilty, it’s over. Allura does not owe Lotor anything, their relationship is over unless they both decide that it’s the best course of action. This is pretty much a holy thing and even if allura rejects him, if Lotor is truly on his redemption path, he’ll continue walking it even if lotura isn’t in it.

Time. I’m very certain they’ll at least give him that, unless, they’re going for the redemption equals death, in which case he’ll magically appear at the end or if he’s already been introduced in the came back wrong have some kind of epiphany and sarcifice himself. Neither of those are very appealing because they’ve been done before, we’ve seen it, it’s boring. Lotor needs time, to actually get his ducks in a row and to check of the first two items on this list if they don’t give him time, it will seem superficial and undeserved and fake.

Big bad: This is something that they’ll definitely give the voltron team at least. A big bad to end all the big bads, an evil, much like zarkon but prefferably, much stronger, more ruthless and even more evil. Without a big bad to ty it all together, the voltron team has no reason to try and accept his redemption, not does Lotor have any chance at actually redeeming himself. Because just admitting you were wrong and saying you’re sorry, does not a redemption make, unfortunately..

Ultimately, t’s pretty simple. he first needs to know what he did wrong, why it was wrong and then own up to it. Take responsibility and do something about it. The thing that makes this so interesting if the obstacles he has to go through. He needs to conquer his own insecurities and past upbringing, he needs to prove he’s better than his father and his mother, without denying his own wrongdoings or try to sweet talk it.

#lotor #you gusy are probably not interested #but here is fucking is #a way too long text analyses #im investing too much time in this #voltron #voltron legendary defender #vld #netflix #prince lotor #emperor lotor #worthless analyses #yup #aj locascio #keith #steven yeun #allura #lotura #keith kogane

23 notes · View notes

memeclains-blog · 6 years

Note

Keith finds Lance on the roof of the garrison (after the hospital scene) and they have a little heart to heart? I'm a sucker for Langst 💙💙

Keith often found himself wandering during the night. It was a habit he developed shortly after the first time he’d ever heard Blue and shortly after his father died. He liked the feeling of the cool, crisp desert air once the sun had fallen behind the horizon and once he had lost the only stability he had ever had in his life he began to wander, almost lost, chasing a voice he wasn’t entirely sure was real. Space certainly didn’t help. Their circadian rhythms must have been beyond saving at this point. They kept time on the Castle Ship as best they could, but it was all programmed to Altean time. And ever since the Castle was destroyed they had no way of deciphering the time besides a rough estimation based on the constellations they passed.

Needless to say, Keith often found it difficult to sleep through the night if he could sleep at all.

The others were less prone to wander, though. They would stay in their rooms usually and satisfy themselves with complaining to the rest of the team the next “morning.” Which made for a surprise when Keith wandered onto the Garrison’s roof and found Lance there.

He wasn’t doing anything, really. Nothing so strange as to warrant the gust of breath that was sucker punched right out of Keith’s lungs. He was only sitting and looking at the stars. His face was shrouded by the night but Keith could imagine the anxiety or unease that might have been painting there if he were closer. Keith certainly had trouble looking to the stars these days without wondering about their imminent doom.

Keith took a few more moments to stare before he walked over to Lance’s perch. He was closer to the edge than some would find comfortable but they all had gotten used to jumping off cliffs and staring death in the face enough that it wasn’t all that strange that Lance wasn’t skittish around a measly handful of stories between himself and the ground.

“What are you doing?” Keith asked.

Lance’s shoulders jumped to his ears before he whipped around and found Keith staring at him.

“Warn a guy next time,” Lance said. He huffed but patted the space next to him. “I could ask the same about you though.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” Keith sat and crossed his legs. “Ended up here.”

“Same,” Lance muttered into his knees.

Neither of them spoke any longer. Keith let his gaze drift to the sky and tried to discern if the streaks of light that occasionally passed them by were Galran fighters or just comets. When he tried to shift so he was leaning on one hand and taking some of the strain off his neck, pain shot up his arm. He sucked in a breath and shook his hand out. His wrist wasn’t broken or even sprained, it just suffered a bit of a bruising during their multiple crashes. Maybe it was even because he’d been using his sword so much and his wrist was complaining about the beatings. Whatever the reason, it was tender.

“Hey, are you okay, man?” Lance asked. He eyed the bandages still wrapped around his head. “Is it your head?”

“No, I’m fine,” Keith grunted. He circled his wrist a few times. “Just hurt my wrist, you know, up there.”

There were about a million and one places he could have hurt it “up there” but Lance seemed to understand. He waved at his ribs and nodded. “I broke a few ribs.”

“Shouldn’t you be back in bed then?” Keith asked. He wasn’t trying to be pushy, but he was sincerely worried. What if Lance started having trouble breathing? What if he needed more painkillers? What if he found he couldn’t make it back to his hospital bed and fainted in the middle of a corridor?

Keith tried to breathe deeply. It had been a while since he was this anxious, but something about the fight had created a shift inside of him. Maybe it was because every single one of them had almost died, and had thought they would die. Death wasn’t a stranger to Keith, in fact, he would think that he’s been on his doorstep a number of times, but the others? He had always figured they would outlive him for at least eighty years if not forever.

“I’m fine,” Lance said. “We’ve been healing for long enough.” Lance stretched his legs out in front of him so that his feet dangled off the edge of the building. “I just can’t wait until they figure out the pod tech again so I don’t have to sit around for weeks on end, I’m getting tired of being in my room.

Keith was of the same opinion. The Garrison had kept the one pod they had so they could harness the Altean tech just like they were doing with the ship but that meant that it wasn’t available for use and the Paladins were subject to healing at a normal pace. Keith had forgotten what that felt like. He certainly hadn’t missed it, and he was quickly growing tired of the migraines and dizzy spells that were plaguing him.

“So, is that why you’re really out here?” Keith asked. “You’re restless?”

“Yeah,” Lance said. He was quiet for a moment before he continued, “That, and I also needed some time by myself?”

“I didn’t think you were the type to need alone time,” Keith said.

“I’m not a lone wolf like you, but I still need to, just, get away from it all sometimes.”

“I can at least understand that,” Keith said.

Lance nodded and stared at the stars for a bit longer before turning to him. “Do you wonder what would have happened if we’d died during that fight?”

Keith shrugged. “Most of the time I think people would be okay without me. I worry about my mom now, but I think otherwise the universe would be okay.”

“We wouldn’t be okay,” Lance said. “The team needs you, you know.”

“I’m pretty sure you’d be a better leader than I am,” Keith said.

“Me?” Lance asked. He looked stupefied, with his brows scrunched together and the little shakes of his head.

“Yeah, I kinda figured you knew you’d be the next one to pilot Black if something ever happened to me.”

“No, you never told me,” Lance said.

“It’s kinda obvious,” Keith said. He shoved at Lance’s shoulder. It was much more awkward than he’d imagined it would be, his movements were too jerky and hesitant and the “push” was more a slight touch of his fingers. “You’re my rock.”

“The Keith to your Shiro,” Lance breathed.

“The Lance to my Keith,” Keith corrected. It came out sounding much softer than he’d intended. Like an intimate whisper, barely swirling out there in the night sky. But it was so true. One thing he had learned during their time out in space was that he was nothing like Shiro and Lance was nothing like him, but those were good things. Especially Lance. Keith would have never gotten it together in the first place if Lance had never been there.

Lance laughed, but as soon as he stopped, he curled into himself again and shook his head. “I never thought I would be good enough, especially not to you.”

“Why not?” Keith asked. He resisted scooting closer to put his arm around Lance’s shoulders. That wasn’t something he would do, no matter how much he wanted to.

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ve always wondered if I was good enough I guess.”

“Well, you are,” Keith said. When Lance looked at him with the widest eyes he had ever seen on him, Keith felt good about what he’d said. He realized that he hadn’t exactly been the most forthcoming with Lance about anything really. But this was a nice change. “You’re good enough for me -- more than good enough.”

Lance hid his face in his hands and flopped onto the ground. “You’ve killed me.”

Keith chuckled. “That wasn’t exactly what I meant to do but--”

“I could kiss you, you know,” Lance said. Then he gasped and took his hands from his eyes only to cover his mouth. “I mean, well, no homo?”

“That phrase is about one hundred years out of date,” Keith said.

“Yeah.” He was back to covering his eyes. But only for a moment before he lowered his hands and caught Keith’s eyes. Keith wasn’t good with eye contact unless he was about to fight someone but this was so, so different. He wanted to look away, but he was enraptured. Lance’s eyes held the entire galaxy and a quiet intimacy he had only ever seen in movies, just before the main characters kissed. “I didn’t mean it anyway.”

“So, you do want to kiss me?” Keith lowered himself until he was hovering just above Lance. There was mere inches between them.

Lance shrugged. “Can you blame a guy? You just swooped me off my feet with all your compliments and junk.”

Keith closed the space between them. He ascended to a different plane when Lance’s breath hitched for just a moment before he breathed deep through his nose and tugged Keith on top of him. His fingers were buried in Keith’s hair and Keith forgot all the worries that had accumulated during their time in space. Lance melted into the ground and Keith knew he was forgetting too.

#klance #keith #lance #vld #voltron #my writing #oneshot #starpaladins #this isn't really langst but i'd been trying to force it to become something it refused to be for too long so i just went w the flow #i sound like i'm a parent trying to fix the damaged relationship they have with their child

5 notes · View notes

homesteadchronicles · 6 years

Text

Ten Questions Tag

Thank you to the fantastic @acfawkes for tagging me in this! These questions were really interesting, and got me thinking about things I wouldn’t have considered before.

I’ll be tagging @firewritten, @lady-redshield-writes, @ivettaviolet, and @pen-and-sword-writing. We’ll keep the questions the same for this, as I had a blast answering these, and I’m sure you will, too. As always, feel no pressure to participate! Just enjoy the thought of knowing I wanted to include you :)

1. Tell me something you love about your current WIP(s).

This might sound cliche (or cocky?), but as I develop more and more of the story, I truly feel as if something special is stirring. I feel as though this story - and the stories of the characters inside of it - will resonate deeply within people. That they will be able to find themselves somewhere in the pages and know that there is hope, that there is joy, that there is a light coming for them in the midst of their darkness. I cannot articulate what it is I sense brewing when I begin to write, but it creates this urgency within me to write and write and write until I cannot anymore.

2. Three of your characters are coming with you on a road trip. Who are they and why did you pick them?

THIS IS SUCH A FUN QUESTION! Okay, I’m gonna go with: Medea, Solomon, and Royan. Medea could help me to keep everyone in line, I feel like she and I would share a similar taste in music, and she’s got that same shady sense of humor as I. Sure, we might get into a bit of mischief, but nothing too troublesome. Solomon has influence in every community he enters and seems to make alliances and friendships as easily as he breathes. He would look after each of us, know all of the perfect tourist destinations, and I feel like he’d get a kick out of playing tour guide. But no one can allow him near the radio. No one wants to hear Gregorian chants and the greatest hits of Woodstock on a road trip. Just no. And Royan? That’s a strange one for me. He’s the opposite of me, but I feel like I need him because he’s the opposite. He’d pull me out of my comfort zone. He’d make me have fun when I’m too busy mom friend-ing everyone. He’d crack stupid jokes and dance like an idiot and he would contribute absolutely nothing logistical, but he would bring life to the group. And I need someone like that.

3. When you’re not writing, what are you most likely to be doing?

In truth? Working. I work multiple jobs, and I do not mess around when it comes to completing my work as well as possible. For relaxation, I primarily play through games with my bestie @khymnal that she has not yet completed, go out to eat with my inner circle of friends, or play D&D every Monday night. I try to throw in some personal time to read and game by myself, but I tend to make myself work on writing anyways.

4. How do you name your characters?

I actually do a lot of research for each character that I name, even the minor ones. I love learning how different cultures choose to name their children, how they label and title one another, etc. As time-consuming as it is for me, it’s also so exciting to find a name and feel that stirring in your gut that tells you that this was always meant to be their name. Sometimes, my characters have placeholder names for a time, but I will not settle until I have found the perfect one.

5. Do your characters have any pets?

They do! Because the sigils of the kingdoms contain animals as their heraldry, most of them do own their namesake animal. However, rarely do these pets come into play beyond as mounts in travel or in battle. Do I know their names, temperaments and relationships with their owners? Oh, without a doubt. But I’ll give you a little sneak peak of two important (but as of yet unnamed) ones:

Oeden keeps a bird caged in his bedroom within Almsgard Castle. He has no idea what species it is, as his mother brought it back from the Southern Isles. However, it is capable of limited speech, speaking in short, cryptic phrases.

The other important pet is owned by the Western royals. The sigil of Al-Hasan’s royalty is a red lion roaring before a golden sun. They do own their own family lion, whom Simdan mounts in battle, but who secretly loves Medea the most.

6. Do you have a favorite time of day to write?

Typically, the only chance I have to write is late at night, once I’m done with all of my work for the day. But I don’t mind it, because I come alive at night. However, on my one day off, I love waking up early and spending the entire day writing away. On that day, I allow myself some time late at night, when all the inspiration has been exhausted, to instead sit and unwind with a good game or a big book.

7. Which of your characters would win the Most Huggable Award?

Out of my POV characters? Oh goodness. None of them are particularly people you’d look at and think “that one - they would love nothing more than a hug right now”. However, out of the primary seven, I would say that Royan is the most huggable. I did just write an adorable little moment between he and Oeden where Royan may or may not do one of those I’m-gonna-spin-you-around-in-midair-because-I-love-you-even-though-I-know-you-say-you-hate-this-but-secretly-love-it-too hugs. Yes, that is a thing.

8. Which of your characters would win the Most Punchable Award?

Honestly? They all really deserve a good shiner at one point or another in the story. Oeden and Medea might make good points, but they also say or do them wrong more often than not. Farukh has some anger management issues. Lazarus can be a BIG ol’ baby. Nadielle kinda b****es at a lot of people, albeit for justifiable reasons. But I’m gonna have to go with Kasumi’s younger twin sister and the other princess of Genesai, Chihiro. Sure, she’s not irredeemable. But you will learn to hate her. Real fast.

9. How do you decide when you’re done planning and just have to start writing?

I am quickly approaching this point, actually. I will know this when the details can no longer be decided on, and I find myself at a standstill when previously the inspiration poured out as if from an infinite faucet. I can easily become concerned with the most minute details and stress about them instead of about the big picture. Once I feel as though I can look at an outline and know that I can go from Point A to Point Z, I will be ready. Sure, there might be bumps along the way, but it will not be because I was too lazy to plan for this eventuality.

10. Do your characters have any odd habits?

Without a doubt. Medea wrings her hands constantly, but because she’s always wearing gloves, she has worn through so many sets of them that Zahira is getting tired of sewing new ones...especially because she sucks at sewing. As an insomniac, Oeden does all sorts of strange things to pass the time. Wanders the halls of the castle, organizes rooms without anyone knowing, and he spends copious amounts of time detailing every dream he has in a journal (with both words and drawings). Royan is constantly fidgeting - tapping his feet, drumming his fingers, etc. He’ll likely do this on other people, too. He’s super touchy, even when he doesn’t realize it or mean to be. Solomon gets lost in thought while reading all of the time and keeps accidentally rereading the same line ten thousand times over. It takes him forever to finish anything because of it. He blames it on old age. Kasumi naturally tends to walk in shaded areas or a bit too close behind people, as she has become accustomed to the shadows. She also needs to have her mask on as much as possible. Carmila constantly rubs her coins or flips them through her fingers. It helps her think, and calm her down when she’s stressed. The coin reminds her that she still has something to cling to, money left to spare. Her family won’t go under again. Farukh gets little sleep, not because of insomnia like Oeden, but because he is constantly working or on patrol. He feels the need to check on every tent, recount every supply, and double-check the perimeter. He feels as though there is danger lurking around them, somewhere, but he cannot pinpoint its location. He wants to protect his people, and only sleeps when he passes out, because the anxiety does not allow him to sleep otherwise.

#tag #tagged #tag game #questions #author #writeblr #write #writer #writing #my writing #my WIP #WIP #work in progress #character #original character #oc #oc ask #oc question

6 notes · View notes

elizabethrobertajones · 7 years

Text

I just want to say, and I haven't had any coffee yet, so I hope this makes sense/doesn't sound rude, but I don't *like*, at all, being someone whose opinion is somehow more important, final, or intimidating than anyone else's. My blog is literally just *my blog*, which I have been talking on for years about Supernatural and people enjoy talking back to me. Sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't, sometimes I grudgingly reblog 100 pieces of meta on a subject I kinda hate or am disinterested in (like Amara after season 10 or Jack after season 12 for "disinterested" examples although I'm not gonna spill what I hate :P) because I have weird principles about at least trying to collect meta that makes sense to me or something...

But yeah, my meta is one thing, my opinions, as I said last night but I'll repeat here in another post, are entirely my own thing and your opinions are entirely your own thing, and they do NOT cancel each other out because I gob on all the time about mine on a blog which has a fair number of followers and a large collection of meta to trick people into thinking I know what I'm talking about all the time. All I've done is survive multiple mass-exoduses of fans who got fed up with the show and its ways before it ended, and left, leaving me in a weird position of being kinda prominent and well-established by sheer attrition that much smarter or more talented people up and left to greener pastures. I don't feel like any part of this process makes me somehow better and scarier than everyone else. In real life I'm an awkwardly laughing nerd who falls asleep in the corner at parties and has been keeping an intense fandom blog for like 4 years, to whatever detriment to the personality that causes in polite company. :P

Anyway I weighed in on a debate last night as I usually do when I talk about something here by explaining a huge chunk of meta for where I saw this thing coming from textually (see also: nerd), and threw in my opinion on the end, and now I have a bunch of replies where people sound like they're dying of horror to even dare disagree with me, despite me trying to cram in multiple disclaimers that I'd reached the opinion part of the discussion, that I knew people had different opinions, and this was literally the part of my discussion that was my own bias for why I want to see things go a certain way.

The textual analysis was not meant to scare anyone into thinking I can't be argued with, I just wanted to sound the whole thing out and explain in detail why this was even a thing back to the roots as far as I knew about them. As I said to the first reply that sounded like I was going to literally murder them for disagreeing, everything that anyone's disagreeing with here is the second part, my opinion on it all, which I have tried SO HARD to convey is the bit which is mine, my own, my precious. And you can't take it from me, you CAN agree with me, and I am not going to go around taking other people's preciouses when I'm already sitting in my dank cave with THIS one. All I can do to disagree is clarify to the best of my ability what I meant and where I think our opinions differ. I mean the replies on that post are now deeply upsetting to me because it sounds like people think that the louder, chattier people in this fandom have *any* special power to be agreed with other than "talked louder; inevitably someone either pays you money to shut up, or people start listening".

So okay apparently people listen to me and I have an intimidating opinion. Here's my intimidating opinion of the day: my opinion, nor anyone else's, is worth ANY more than yours, whoever you are reading this.

Meta is just a discussion of the show, and the meta I've generally written and reblogged has been textual analysis where opinion is mostly in the spec at the end, but most of the post is trying to say "what does this mean if the show put this in"... It also causes problems where people think the meta is authoritative, trying to dictate the show, whatever, by being phrased as saying what we think the show is saying usually without disclaimers about personal investment or degree of credulity we're lending it all... but there's a difference between trying to work out the message and writing down what we think it is (even when we don't like it, even when the message is something like telling us we take it too seriously :P) and having an opinion on it.

So I can think the show has put in some pretty heavy subtext that Dean and Crowley hooked up. I didn't particularly *like* it at the time, and that was my opinion, but I still reblogged bunches and bunches of meta about it (and eventually warmed up to the concept once we were out of several different danger zones that really put me off what the show's message seemed to be at first), because it was something I saw in the show and it was so obvious it was hard at times to talk about anything else. I know there are people out there who are still clinging on that it didn't happen at all and that is also an analysis and an opinion, and probably an easier one for them to deal with on the subject. There's people who grudgingly give the show that they had that subtext, let it have happened, but refuse to engage in it because they think it sucks and they don't like Crowley. That's also their right. There's people who love it to bits and immediately shipped it and it's really important to them. That's ALSO their right and still not exactly where I am with it although since I kinda got into the middle of all that by reblogging so much meta about it we seem to be on the best terms of all these different options :P There's myriad other opinions on it all, including probably that meta writers are being ridiculous for even daring to look for any kind of subtext in the first place. (A refusal to engage with the text is, ironically, also engaging with the text at least for discussion purposes, hence like, MOST fandom drama between people who just want to spread hate and think they have a definitive reading of it all >.>)

I read a lot of posts here from more than just the specific bits of opinion I agree with, and I see a lot of opinions flowing by in all different camps of the show that I think are fine that people have. And as people have got disillusioned with the show I used to agree with on every point I learned their opinion was still just their opinion and that it still didn't affect what I wanted to feel, and so I carried on mouthing off my opinion as people I once agreed with left or fell out of love with the things we used to have an equal love in. And all these opinions are based in things people read in the show and they can offer up their evidence for it, and if it's well argued, I'll read the whole thing, and even agree with every point they argue, and still walk out of there with my original opinion intact if I can be absolutely sure that I have my own footing for why I think what I think. And that's that. I read a 70k long meta about why Sam is a horrible person and I still love him and will defend him for these things, but the meta I read made some awfully good and intelligent points about the writing of the show that at the very least I will from now on take deep into my understanding of the writing in the bit it was talking about, while still not feeling like Sam as an emotional construct is something I now have to hate or that I can't find his side and feel empathetic towards it as well. (Also I am the sort of person who reads a 70k meta on why a fave is awful if it's well-argued, without raising my own blood pressure or changing my mind on the important parts, so I suppose there's that to know about me... :P)

Anyway. As usual a lot of words to say something simple. I'm not an authority. I'm glad people enjoy my meta and look to me to talk about the show in my own rambly way, but when I have an opinion on something you're allowed to disagree. I knew that debate was sensitive but I wanted to explain my own side properly because I thought that would be *more* sensitive than just saying my opinion, as if it were fact, and people are treating it like they're having to fight the system now and I am way too anarchic for that. Please don't turn me into a pillar of authority, I'm a dweeb in sheepie pyjamas. I should not be dictating people's opinion on a TV show, just offering textual arguments and my own opinions for people who are too lazy to type it out and agree with it themselves, and if they don't agree with me, to be able to make their own posts about their own opinions.

If the reason you want to disagree with me is the opinion part of my posts, then that's okay, you can do that. You can make your own posts, you can reply to my post although I'm not going to have a clue what to say. Your opinions are your opinions, and YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH OPINIONS. I am NOT going to go reply to people who have a deep investment in an opinion who are disagreeing with MY OPINION and say "You can't have that opinion, your subjective emotional stake in a thing is WRONG".

I think we have a slight misunderstanding going around between meta and opinion. Meta is analysis. Opinion is how we feel about it. Me laying out a bunch of analysis is not disagreeing or throwing a pile of quotes around to try and prove I have some higher ground on my opinion (in fact in this case I thought there was a broad agreement on the textual reading and a vast gulf on the opinion, of which I was asked mine >.>), it's an attempt to explain and lay down the facts I think are at work to inform opinions, and the narratives I see that have already been put into the show on something. My opinion is what I think should happen with that with an emotional stake of what makes me feel good or bad about it. Nothing is going to change what I feel good or bad about here except for the show doing more with it.

I felt bad about Dean and Crowley after 10x04 because Dean said he was "embarrassed". I felt good about Dean and Crowley after 10x17 where they were philosophical and friendly. I felt horrified about Dean and Crowley after 11x02 when Crowley made the "choirboy" comment that seemed to go waaay over the bounds of implying the dub con I was worried about all along. I felt conflicted about Dean and Crowley after 11x06 where Dean turned out to have kept Crowley's messages on his phone. I started to feel better after 11x22 and 23 where they had the dynamic from 10x17 which put me at ease. In 12x15 I was actively nostalgic along with Crowley because they'd moved to such a good place and the narrative showing Crowley to the door wanted to make a final comment on how this relationship had been for them. My OPINION and what made me feel good or bad kept changing. My READING that the show's subtext was telling us pretty much directly that they'd hooked up, had not changed since 10x01 and the comment about how they'd "Had a room" that I think was even in a promo before the episode, never mind once we got the actual episode and we learned about the triplets :P This is the difference between meta and opinion to me. In the early part of season 11 I was actively upset about this dynamic because I thought it had gone too far. The writing made me feel better and now it's all over I'm genuinely fond of it as the way they managed to leave off, which is an impressive feat for a ship that once made me laugh in hysterical confusion, and at another point actively squicked me out.

Anyway current canon has left me at a point on the other thing where I see a pattern that has emotionally meant pretty much the same thing to me the entire time it's been unfolding on my screen and I've been watching along with fandom and reading all the meta explaining the stuff I see on screen. I feel like there's not a great deal of wiggle room on interpretation of some instances for the basic message the show is trying to convey about where it's going or why it's doing certain things, and it's usually just the weight you give them that your opinion can affect the reading. A lot of these things are fairly black and white meaning to me because the context was so heavily laden with that overflowing Carver era symbolism that I learned to read from meta writers past (and a few thankfully still present). I'm going to assume and act like it's a prevailing opinion because when I was fandom new it was a loud and often-repeated idea and everyone I saw talking about it seemed to be excited and excitement is infectious. The excitement was the feeling, the opinion, the bias rolling off of all this. The meta underneath was what was making them excited and debating it as a concept a thousand miles an hour. My opinion that it's a good thing probably comes from this season 9 era happy acceptance of the idea, and nothing's really happened to change my opinion or make me feel differently. So the meta I call on is mostly of the era I remember it being discussed the most in the text and therefore by the fandom, and the feeling I have about it hasn't much changed. If that makes me sound like I know what I'm talking about, it's because this is an extremely well-worn groove to me, always leading to the same conclusions and generally being soaked in positive feeling.

I'm sorry there are people who are upset by the concept but I'm not sorry for my opinion and feelings and I feel like this whole thing is a really weird mess where people are using my post to debate my opinion with their own opinions, and feelings will always be at cross purposes and I can't help that. I can't meta away feelings. I can't meta up new feelings. The only thing that will change my opinion is the show producing new context which makes me feel weird and uncertain about my previous opinion, which I am liable and happy to change. And we're at a really weird and upsetting for everyone cross purposes where opinions are being given the debatable value of meta and treated as if they're the main statement, the main idea, the main reason anything is happening. When a subject's debatable issue is entire in what everyone FEELS about it, everyone is always going to be upset, and someone who writes long wordy posts and then attaches an opinion at the end is going to seem, apparently, like they're some sort of undebatable pillar when in fact their opinion is meaningless to yours and they just like talking a lot about the show and explaining where their opinion even comes from in the first place.

The debatable part to me would be anywhere I mention something that happened in an episode and then explain my reading of what it meant in fairly straightforward terms of parallels and symbolism or contrasts and seeming statements on character feeling and intent. My opinion attached to the end is not something I am going to let go of, NOR do I expect YOU to let go of YOUR opinion to engage me on the subject.

And that goes for basically everything.

So I will not be replying to that post and its replies because they're all opinion based on what makes people feel good or bad, and I see it as completely futile because *ALL I CAN DO* in this case is hurt people by doubling down on my opinion of what makes me feel good and bad about that speculation.

So all I can say is that I am NOT an authority and opinions are NOT META (which is still just a reading that can be argued in different ways, but for the sake of opinion posts, the basis on where that opinion comes from and the ~authority~ you're using to feel that way, even if the authority you get that opinion from is your own interpretation), not mine, not yours. They're a discussion about how we feel about the show and carry little weight in analysis, so we need to stop arguing with each other on entirely theoretical speculative subjects where people have high emotions about it, without recognising what we are doing and how people will get hurt when posing the idea that opinions can ever be objective or a way to force people to agree with you. I'm sorry only that my disclaimers last night were not enough to make it clear I was worried about this exact thing happening, and that this lead to people expressing that I'm somehow a master opinion you can't argue with.

By all means collect up people who share an opinion and make friends and feel better about it. It's OKAY to disagree with people who you see as otherwise apparently making a lot of sense and being worth listening to. No one agrees on everything all the time and it's weird if you do. There's a couple of meta writers I agree with on just about everything except one particular topic where I was quite amused to see those two disagreeing on every point and then though I didn't reply I had my own, different and wildly conflicting, opinion, from the BOTH of them, on every single example they gave. So we'll just... not discuss those sort of things with each other I suppose :D And we get on and on every other point, it seems, continue to reblog from each other and agree loudly. And I hope people disagreeing with my opinion and each other's opinion on these things don't just cut off ties from each other despite agreeing on many other topics, because of this one thing.

TL;DR - I am not interested in starting an opinion or personality cult where I'm always right. I'm really really not interested in smacking down people's opinions who disagree with me. I'm completely chill with other people's opinions existing out there, and I really really hate that opinions upset people because they're taken as fact, and I think rather than saying opinions are inarguable, I kinda think we should just be allowed to HAVE them and go about our business. And I'm hereby releasing my opinions on everything people disagree with into the void to say they are utterly meaningless if you disagree with them, and hold absolutely no weight on what you're allowed to think or publicly express.

(PS: pls talk more all the time about the ideas you have and don't feel like there's some sort of meta authority. I am so socially anxious I used to sweat and shake and triple-read my replies to people I thought were meta authorities until I realised I was always going to admire them, but we were all basically doing the same thing, shooting the breeze about the show, and no one was more important or authoritative than the others. If there's some sort of wall between communicating because there's a perceived meta ivory tower, please know that everyone you think is at the top of the tower is someone who still sees themselves as standing in the ground floor lobby of said tower, confused about how they were even let in the door, and seeing someone else above them on the higher floors.)

#long post for ts #not wank but I'll tag in case people just hate long rants in general #wank for ts #fandom problems #I'ma airplane this to a couple of people as a personal apology now >.>

44 notes · View notes