#leatherbookmark
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6, 10 and 11 for the kpop bias meme, if i may! ✨
(I'm sticking with Hongjoong for all of these kpop bias asks for the sake of ease)
6. What song I love my bias the most in
Honestly, his raps are my favourite part of a lot of Ateez's songs but of course credit has to go to the song that's been number one on my Apple Music Replay 2024 playlist since February
10. My favourite fact about my bias
He once said he'd some day like to design his own clothing line for all sizes and genders
11. Something my bias has done to annoy me
I don't know I haven't really done a deep dive into any of my biases. I'm sure he has flaws like any other human being does but I don't know what they are and I don't really want to know tbh. I'm happy to just enjoy the persona he presents when he's working and leave it at that.
kpop bias meme
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i wanted to click the ask button and i accidentally unfollowed you. easily one of the most webbed sites i've ever! ANYWAY i have yet to catch up w/ your 2022 yi city whumptobers;;, but what kind of torment is the most fun/interesting to inflict on each of the yi city squad member? lol this sounds bad but i mean, for xy it's obviously delicious to bite into his issues w/ his body, its weaknesses and the way it's not just 'what makes a xue yang' but also, if not primarily, a tool/weapon. but there's definitely more! and then there's xxc and sl, and a-qing...? i feel they're a very diverse buffet lol
this is a tasty tasty one and I'm sorry it took me so long to get to it ahhhh
going to take this one person at a time!!! for organizational reasons. I love thinking about this kind of thing because for me a lot of it is like. "what would this character hate most, on a level of 'what experience would most undermine their sense of self/emphasize their specific neuroses" and that's a fun way of exploring character.
whump! it's not just about the satisfaction of beating up characters, it's also about the flaying away of emotional shields to reveal the squishy internal bits of your faves. or something like that.
xue yang: you've definitely hit on a big one in your ask, which is, yeah...physical incapacitation that he can't in some way power through, that somehow does render his body...not in his own power, not usable, not capable of what he wants it to do. it's supposed to! it should do whatever he tells it to do! it's not supposed to fail him!
I've talked a lot about the way xue yang sees his body as, in some ways, his enemy, in a way I don't think he's wholly aware of. his body is a problem because his body can take damage, can hurt, and those are things that xue yang would really, really like to avoid happening to him, ever (again), and while yeah, that happening is the fault of the person who hurts him, on some level he feels betrayed by his own body for allowing it. it's not doing its job.
xiao xingchen: for xiao xingchen it's psychological for sure. he can bear a lot of physical pain, I think! he can take that, it's expected, physical violence is a part of the life he chose when he came down the mountain.
what I think he expected less was the psychic damage he can take, and I don't think he can bear it as well (I mean, we know he doesn't). it hits him harder and he's less prepared.
but also. hurting other people and making sure xiao xingchen knows it's because of him. xue yang hit that one right on the head several times (with song lan, with the fake night hunts, with song lan again), and used it to nail xiao xingchen right into his coffin.
song lan: oooh this was an interesting one to think about and made me realize that I have not spent a lot of time making song lan suffer anything but emotional damage, though I have made him suffer a fair amount of emotional damage.
I think with song lan...hmm. I don't know how to articulate this exactly but what gets to him I think is things that undermine his sense of self and his certainty. I think of song lan as someone who doesn't just like stability and routine but in some ways relies on it; it keeps him steady and grounds him. so losing that, or having it yanked out from under him, really throws him off balance.
I'm thinking about how song lan would handle being in a psychological horror narrative and I feel like it would really fuck him up in a way above and beyond anyone else on this list, is kind of what I'm saying? if that makes sense. the...unreliability of his surroundings, and more than that of his own head, his ability to make sense of the world and ground/center himself in some kind of certainty...I think song lan would go downhill fast.
a-qing: I think what it comes down to with a-qing as far as "what's the best way to make her hurt worst" is anything that would render her incapable of defending herself, but more specifically vulnerable in a way that she couldn't even play for sympathy (as is one of her tricks; playing weaker than she is so people underestimate her or even are generous with her).
so like...actually what xue yang does to her on this level is pretty brutal not just on the surface level of, you know, physical agony but also on the level of...by blinding her and removing her ability to speak, and then making her a ghost or...whatever she is in cql, he renders her something that people will perceive as monstrous, and therefore she can't ask for help, can't seek out support, can't communicate what she wants to communicate in order to get what she needs.
what I guess I'm getting at here is the removal of her self-sufficiency. a-qing is someone who is resourceful and clever and very good at getting out of tight spots, and who has had to fend for herself for a lot of her life. removing that in some way, undermining that, is the thing that's most going to get to her - something that makes her for real and inescapably the small, relatively weak girl with nobody to help or protect her that she pretends to be.
#conversating#leatherbookmark#aggressively headcanons#xiao xingchen#xue yang#song lan#a qing#the sad queer cultivators show
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he looks so sleepy. i gotta wrap him in the biggest, softest blanket in the world and rock him to sleep like baby bird. im normal
#ateez#lookat him !!!!!!! i m soft!!!!!!!!#user leatherbookmark this is for u#mostly for ME actually#san
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for some ungodly reason i set a reminder for this in my calendar: today (29th april 2024) is the 10th anniversary of me making an instagram account
#not that it matters much given that i haven't used it for over a year. still. huh#my insta is probably the one (1) and only Internet Place of mine that still exists. first twt account is gone. first tumblr is gone#first lj... I DON'T REMEMBER? probably gone as well though#second and third twt accounts also are gone and my second tumblr is inactive given that i remade to be leatherbookmark on main#my blogs like actual blog blogs are also gone. insta is all that remains and it mostly remains unchanged aside from a handful of selfie#purges i did. if insta wasn't so goddamn unusable (and if all my irls weren't living interesting and satisfying lives) i'd probably#still use it but the way it is now. well#shrimp thoughts
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HONGJOONG
happy birthday hongjoong !!! used these lovely gifs from @leatherbookmark as a reference because they inspired me 💕 you can see some of my other portraits here: jongho / mingi / san / yeosang ✨
#hongjoong#kim hongjoong#ateez#atzsource#useroro#usersun#userbeepls#tuserjazzy#tusersofie#heyiri#siyuantag#userfairy#aleksbestie#useryukuz#meltracks#usermery#kpop#kpop fanart#ateez fanart#hongjoong fanart#atz#joong#my stuff
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man you guys I have just made myself SO MAD about how literally everyone treats lan xichen after jin guangyao's death in the guanyin temple confrontation.
just starting with nhs's abject refusal to be transparent about whether jgy was or was not attempting to attack him from behind:
then just having to sit here with the growing, dreadful certainty that nhs did something truly heinous to the body of jgy's mother as part of his revenge quest--meng shi, who was a genuinely innocent person:
and then this final question that he asks himself out loud while the rest of the cast of characters are still hovering around, which no one answers, of course, because no one else can:
(plot twist: or can they??? put a pin in that for now)
but this is the moment that galls me the most. when lan qiren shows up and sees both lwj and lxc not being their usual peerless jade selves, he rounds on lxc, of course and says this:
I don't know, lan-xiansheng, what in the fucking world do you think is wrong with your oldest nephew, who you single-handedly raised, maybe read the fucking room for five seconds and figure it out?? "lan xichen's face was full of an unspeakable grief," god this would be a really great moment for lan wangji to come to his brother's side to provide some support of some kind, even if he's not great with these kinds of displays, because lxc cared for lwj throughout his seclusion--oh, wait, what's that? he and wwx have just fucked off entirely??
[edited to add: @leatherbookmark pointed out that lqr’s response here may be a translation issue!! i retract much of my salt about lqr here… but god, lxc is still so devastated. he’s grief-stricken.]
(lan jingyi knows what's good, don't bring up that guy around lqr)
but uhhhhh sure wangji, your brother is clearly /gestures, like that, go ahead and bail.
this bit from the next chapter is what really grinds my gears tho, because I somehow forgot that wangxian's decision to withhold such crucial information back from lxc during the temple was 1) so fucking overt, and 2) explicitly confirms that they did not want to share information with lxc that would make him feel more sympathetic towards jgy:
...are you kidding me right now!! "even now I still don't think we should tell him" + "each could only deal with their own troubles... comfort was useless. it'd all be in vain"
/shoves both of you jerks into a mud puddle
#salty peak sect 🧂#i'm not having very nice thoughts about wangx!an right now guys i'm sorry (except I'm not)#somehow this reads as like 500% worse as it did to me the first time I read it#did I just miss this section somehow did I accidentally skip over it#anyway#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#flute solo 🎶#mdzs meta#sort of#i'm channeling my inner shen yuan atm i'm so mad#better make sure none of my food has gone off just to be safe
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@leatherbookmark straight up yeah. good news for all the anathema/newt and madame tracy/shadwell haters they're literally not in this one LOL. and they keep giving side characters really gnc spouses
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got tagged by @suspiciouspopsicle in a thing to post 5 comfort characters and then tag 5 people in no particular order.
Cloud Strife, oldie but goodie
Kim Dokja
Shang Qinghua
Jin Guangyao
Sailor Moon, another Ur fandom friend
Ok tag time! @lacertae-dreamscape @cicaklah @leatherbookmark @scribeprotra @blondejaneblonde
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Nine people I'd like to know better
Tagged by @takonxmz <3 <3
Last song: I think it was the Operation Mincemeat cast recording, so the finale of that
Favourite color: i just like all colours these days!! i'm really into orange right now
Currently watching: the hbomberguy video, like everyone else
Last show/movie: MAMMA MIA!: I Have A Dream, my new favorite show
Sweet/savoury/spicy: sweets sweets sweets
Last thing you googled: whether the new UK immigration rules would apply to me lolsob
Hmm let's say (with no pressure) @inappropriatewenning @evilhasnever @thatswhatsushesaid @leatherbookmark @layzeal @thetimetostrikeislater @carriecmoney @loreofcardigan @mushroomwriter
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get to know me 🌻
got tagged by my beloved @morkofday. Thank you!
-
do you make your bed? - I do! It makes the room feel untidy if I don't. And it's not like my room is super neat or anything but I don't know it feels weird if I don't do it
what's your favourite number? - 5
what is your job? - I'm the assistant manager of an IT Service Desk
If you could go back to school would you? - Only if I could comfortably afford it and study something I was genuinely interested in. And by school I mean uni. I wouldn't want to go back to primary/secondary school.
can you parallel park? - I have to do it just about every day so yes. I don't always do it perfectly but I can.
a job you had that would surprise people? - People who have been following my blog for a while will know this already but I used to help run Misha Collins' charity, Random Acts.
do you think aliens are real? - Given the size of the universe I think it's pretty ignorant to assume our planet is the only one capable of supporting life.
can you drive a manual car? - The vast majority of British cars are manual. That's all I've ever driven.
what's your guilty pleasure? - A general rule I try not to feel guilty about things that make me happy. Why should I? That being said I did go through a bit of embarrassment when I first got into kpop but that's entirely a me thing and I got over it fairly quicky.
tattoos? - None. I'm too fickle to choose something to stay on my skin for the rest of my life.
favourite colour? - Puple
favourite type of music? - I really will listen to just about any genre, and I have most genres on at least one playlist on my phone
do you like puzzles? - I like crosswords if that's what you mean
any phobias? - Clowns, enclosed spaces
favourite childhood sport? - I've never really been into sport.
do you talk to yourself? - All the time. Not always out loud, but sometimes. And I give myself mental pep talks all the time.
what movie(s) do you adore? - I don't really watch many movies these days. I'd rather watch a TV show. Some old favourites though: Dirty Dancing, Titanic, The Princess Bride, most of the Terminator movies, The Man From UNCLE, The Craft
coffee or tea? - Tea
first thing you wanted to be growing up - A teacher
Tagging: @leatherbookmark @insidious-intent @lynne-monstr @killerandhealerqueen @pangzi @fan-man-huaisang @strandedchesspiece @yyaurii @halavibe @bunnakit @thesilversun
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jiang cheng for the bingo meme! 🍇
thank you for the a+ emoji usage here.
almost went with "wow they are a horrible person" but honestly I feel like you could put that down for the majority of the cast on a spectrum and so I decided not to, even if the juxtaposition between that and the literally me square woulda been a little funny. is a character really a blorbo to me if there's not a little bit of "wow! they are a horrible person" in there
anyway I might write more about xue yang these days but jiang cheng is possibly the character I find most #relatable in some ways so ✌
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tagged by @aldieb! thx for thinking of me, these little questionnaires are like. a cute little blast from tumblr's more interactive past :)
last song: i was going to have to give a sad little answer here about how i don't listen to music nearly enough anymore (never mind sing) and it's very definitely a reflection of my depression, but then i entirely out of nowhere and very urgently was like 'wait actually i have to listen to gordon lightfoot's "song for a winter's night" right now' so then i dashed off and did that and now that's the answer:
if i could know within my heart
that you were lonely too
i would be happy just to hold the hands i love
on this winter night with you…
favorite color: oof so so many!! colors are so important. the signature one has gotta be a really highlighter-vivid chartreuse (🎾), but i do also really love me a good marigold orange? not to mention vermilion, or ochre, or moss green, or really saturated cobalt, or shades of rust or russet…
last movie/show: shetland bbc, which is a quiet well-acted murder mystery series set in a very beautiful very remote landscape. soothing if you like the british isles and can bear to entertain the fantasy of a decent policeman, at least for an hour or so at a time. also i admit to enjoying douglas henshall's face.
sweet/spicy/savory: all the best things are savory and also spicy! like. the jamaican curried chicken i grew up with. indian curries. malaysian laksa my beloved. can you tell i like curry. :D
relationship status: sidebar but this is such an amatonormative question lol. like why are we societally expected to look at 'relationship' and infer 'romantic.' also it seems like a weird outlier given that all the other qs are low-stakes little softballs abt yr tastes. however. extremely single! sometimes i'm sad about it because i miss sexual intimacy and i'm too shy to pursue that with strangers? but honestly most of the time i'm just as glad, because i don't actually know how to love people romantically without making a whole self-abnegating religion of it, so i'm not really convinced that dating was ever really all that good for me, on the whole…
last thing i googled: i use duckduckgo now, and you should too! :) having said that: 'yoal boat.' which is a very beautiful traditional style of shetland boat—apparently descended from a norwegian model?—that the islanders used to use for fishing, and then for storage draw up onto the land into these little prepared hollows called noosts (they have marinas now), which like. obviously i think is the most charming word imaginable. a cozy little noost for a lovely little boat! 🪺
current obsession(s): yoals aside, i guess the thing that best fits this category is that sometime in the last year or so i turned into Merino Guy??? like. even my boxer briefs are merino now (well, a merino-tencel blend) and like. it's so good, guys. comfy in a startlingly wide range of temps, helps me lessen my contribution to the microplastics problem, somehow even makes for reasonable athletic wear in the right weights and cuts: what's not to like. anyway brb, gotta go print out my 'NOT 🐑ISH ABOUT MERINO' bumper sticker. :D
tag 9 people: oof idk, do this if you'd enjoy it and ignore it if you wouldn't? gonna make like west and pull some names from my activity feed: @e-b-reads, @ghostofasecretary, @leatherbookmark, @nathanielthecurious, @obstinatecondolement, @papavera, @quailfang, @tisiphoness, @youcanthandelthetruth
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oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously
#he's a little annoying dude. i swear to fuck#'the real villain in the show is the system and izzy is siding with the system' babygirl he's a pirate 😭 he really isn't 😭#he could NOT more clearly be -- he literally IS -- that kind of gay man who wears his leathers and anger as an armor because being scary ha#been his way of fighting The System => being consumed and destroyed by it; and who looks down and feels disgusted by flamboyant#and effeminate soft-handed gays because if they're this soft then they clearly haven't experienced this kind of abuse that would make them#harden up. ....you know what i mean.#like idk this show in general like... doesn't have a 'villain'? it's about stede (and ed's) journey and their development. not necessarily#about their Conflict With Someone/Something. i guess it might change in s2 but idk. there are just Situations in which they find themselves#and because of/md is a comedy no one really... holds things against other characters in a long-term way? izzy stabs stede and sells him#out to the english and ed punches him for the latter (which he says 'ok fair' about!!! like!!!) but does he go 'and for all the shit you've#done i'm Firing you as my first mate? no! he slams him against the wall and feeds him his toe but he's like. ok get up and back to work#and he doesn't seem particularly disgusted or upset with him in that final blackbeard's flag 2.0 moment. (nor manipulated; inb4)#like. it's a workplace romcom. the workplace is a pirate ship but it's a workplace and izzy is that annoying coworker who's a bitch and#often ruins everyone's fun but no one like... Seriously ostracizes him. more like applies some light bullying BECAUSE IT'S FUNNY.#COMEDY. do we remember that?#and like. it seems he's going to have a bit of a larger (?) role in s2... it really doesn't seem like the show sees him as a 'villain' or#even an active 'antagonist' either. like ok let's agree 2 disagree and may both sides block each others' asses into oblivion because god#knows both sides have some annoying people but mannnn sometimes... insisting that things Can be divided into Good and Bad... is worse?#shrimp thoughts#once again i wrote a tag novel about an incredibly silly thing. welcome to leatherbookmark
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Thank you for tagging @onlyoneofsideblogtrashheep - I always mean to post these monthly and then forget 😅
Tagging @btsmosphere @casuallyimagining @daegu-flowjob @daesukiii @leatherbookmark @moccahobi and anyone else who wants to!
#tag games#ask games#about me#not at all surprised#this is pretty much#the first 10 songs#on my regular playlist#which is pretty much#constantly on repeat
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This is the worst fucking timeline.
@leatherbookmark youre getting blamed. What do you have to say for yourself 🤺
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tagged by @leatherbookmark!
last song: idk what was the last song but ive been listening to rang de basanti by bloodywood on repeat for a couple weeks now. also been listening to from gaza, with love by saint levant and the new myrath album
favourite color: mine used to red too, but over the years its shifted to orange, the warmer the better! azar probably didnt have an influence on this
currently watching: just finished watching scavengers reign and you need to drop everything and go watch it too. it's the most gorgeous and mesmerizing thing in scifi right now, it's aldebaran if it was good and filled you with awe and actually cared about biology and nature and also wasnt racist and homophobic. i can believe they gave us all that. please watch it.
last movie/show: i watch like 2 movies a year and im not even sure i watched one in 2023 lol. im gonna cheat and say last video game: ive been playing pathologic classic but yesterday i was like lets try the marble nest again (pathologic 2 dlc), it was so short anyway i can play it even if im tired. turns out the one time i tried to play it the game crashed and it's actually much longer than i thought!! really enjoying getting to play a WHOLE DAY of pathologic 2 from the bachelor's perspective. also sticky is here!!!!!!
sweet/savoury/spicy: easy. savoury first, then spicy, then sweet. i get very brief occasional sweet cravings (like rn), but most of the time i just want savoury stuff, spiciness is great and i love it but i can do without. fun fact i didnt eat breakfast for years bc french people are insane and eat only sweet things in the morning, which was super unappealing to me. then i went to the uk and realized most people eat salty stuff in the morning and it changed my life forever. i also want to thank my first roommate for introducing me to real spice with peppers and shit. r you were a brother to me
relationship status: its complicated
last thing you googled: what john darnielle's name was bc it was new year and we were playing this year by the mountaing goats and i was super high so i wanted to tell my friend that he had kind of a fucked up name but i couldnt remember it. thank you john darnielle you make every new year memorable.
current obsession/s: have you heard of stanislav stakh rubin my dear friend stakh rubin. i can also throw in a little artemy burakh. lara ravel. bad grief? theyre even going through a plague too did you hear that. otherwise its stuff for work. oh and birds are not going anywhere.
tagging, god im bad at that, uh @lastlabyrinth @vitariesocks @priestin @anarchistbitch @puzzle-queenredux @diabolicjoy and anyone else who wants to!
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