#learning to draw by pretending I know how to draw
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SEVEN
shoto todoroki x fem!reader
synopsis: you recognize his hair, his eyes, even his demeanor. but damn, you can’t remember his name.
song inspo: seven by taylor swift
author’s note: let’s also just pretend he got his scar at eight so it works with the song!
DAY 1
“i like your hair!”
shoto jumped in his spot from under the jungle gym not expecting anyone to find him. its not like you were trying to find him. you had just been trying to find places to put your treasure (sticks and mulch) then stumbled across the boy.
“sorry! didn’t mean to scare you but your kind of in my ship”
shoto looked around confused.
“this is a playground”
you huffed moving your body from the play structure going underneath with him.
“you don’t have much of an imagination do you? every time i come to the park i play pirates. and this is where i hide my buried treasure” you held your hand out with a smile “i’m l/n y/n, but just call me y/n!”
the first thing shoto noticed about you was the two bottom teeth you were missing. next was the overalls you were wearing accented with cute patches. he hesitantly placed his hand in yours.
“todoroki shoto”
“cool name! i think i’ll call you sho”
you sat crisscross next to him with a tilt of your head “so why are you down here anyway? kids usually play up there” you pointed above where you could hear laughter and the pounding of shoes hitting the metal. shoto shrugged looking down at his fingers.
“i’m not good at playing” he mumbled picking at his perfectly white sneakers.
enji would be extremely busy for the next three months trying to achieve that number one hero spot. it sucked up enough of his time to the point where he couldn’t train shoto like he was before. rei now had a mission to get her son out of the house as much as she could before enji came back to his regular routine.
“yeah i could tell” you sniffed a bit drawing some shapes in the mulch “but i could show you how! i mean we are friends now. i know your name and everything”
he was about to respond before a woman called out your name.
“i gotta go, but you’ll be here tomorrow right?”
shoto nodded, watching as you crawled out of the confined space “see you later sho!”
he sat there eyebrows scrunched together after the interaction.
DAY 2
“sho! are you here?” you asked laying flat on the metal to look underneath. there he was in the same spot as yesterday inspecting one of the sticks. his head lifted as you came down sitting across from him.
“are you ready to learn how to play?”
“uhm”
“you’re ready. i can tell” you shifted some of the mulch around into piles “so these over here is all my treasure. you don’t have any yet because you’re a new pirate. you get it?”
shoto shrugged at your words looking at his empty spaces “i think so..”
you peaked out of the entrance of the bottom “c’mere!” shoto crawled up next to you looking out “which one of your mom?”
shoto squinted then pointed to a woman far off sitting on a bench “she’s over there”
you nodded looking over at him with the same big grin from yesterday “that’s perfect! you see all the treasure that’s near her?” you pointed out the rocks laying near her feet.
“they’re rocks”
“yeah but when we play we pretend that it’s treasure okay?”
shoto nodded along attempting to get the gist of this.
“so we’re gonna have a plan so we can get your first pile of treasure. you can distract her while i take some of the treasure real quick! can you do that?”
“i think so. this is kind of like the hero missions my dad goes on. they make plans like this”
your eyes sparkled looking over at him “your dad is a hero? that’s so cool!”
“he’s not”
with that you shook your head starting to crawl out of the hole “let’s do this!” shoto climbed out slowly after you going all the way over to his mom.
“shoto?” rei shut the book she had been reading and held her hands out for him “are you alright?”
“i’m okay” out of the corner of his eye he noticed you go behind her to get the rocks you had been talking about.
“well did you need something? are you ready to leave?”
“no, i’m just supposed to be distracting you”
rei squinted her eyes in confused until she noticed you come from behind her proudly holding up the rocks “we got the treasure sho! now run!” you booked it back to the hiding spot with a delayed shoto right behind.
when the two of you sat back down you counted the rocks and split them between you evenly “not bad for your first heist! just next time when you’re being the distraction, don’t let them know you’re distracting them okay?”
“okay”
DAY 14
“sho!” you squealed excitedly swinging yourself underneath. shoto no longer flinched when he heard your voice. for the past two weeks he’s gotten used to your presence, and has been learning different games from you each day “guess what my mom said?”
“what?”
“you can come to the creek with us! it’s this really cool place fifteen minutes from here. just ask your mom if you can go! she can go with us to make sure you’re okay and talk to my mom so she’s not bored!”
shoto crawled out of the space and walked over to his mom with you bouncing behind him. rei smiled when she saw the two of you approaching her. deep down all she wanted to see was her kids be happy, and when shoto was with you, he was.
“mom? y/n’s mom said i can go to the creek with them. you can come too”
“please miss rei! it’s gonna be so fun!” you begged taking both of her hands in a plea. this made the woman chuckle.
“if you want to go then let me get my things”
“yay! cmon sho” you took his hand in yours getting a head start.
shoto didn’t mind you taking his hand or guiding him wherever you wanted to go. because where ever you went, he wanted to follow.
“here it is!” you stood on one of the rocks with your arms reached out. water flowed gently through the creek, glittering every time the sunlight hit it the right way “isn’t it pretty?” you asked reaching down to put your hand through the water. shoto leaned down to do the same thing.
“it is”
DAY 28
“you’re my best friend”
you blurted out of absolutely nowhere.
both you and shoto had taken your shoes off to dip your feet into the creek. he blinked at your words trying to decide how to respond.
“you’re my only friend”
this made you smile and gently knock your shoulder into him.
“that makes me the best doesn’t it?”
his head tilted when you said that giving him something to think about.
“it does”
you gently kicked your feet up getting some water on your calves.
“as my best friend, can i tell you something? but you can’t tell anyone else okay?”
“why are you telling me?”
“cause that’s what best friends do. they trust each other like that”
shoto wasn’t trusted with things. he was told what he should be doing, and he did it. so when he heard that you trusted in him, something inside him shifted. he relaxed his shoulders which always seemed to be tense.
“you can trust me”
you let out a sigh, picking at some of the dirt on your shorts.
“kids at school don’t really like me. i try to make friends, but i guess they don’t think i have cool clothes, or ideas.. or whatever”
for the first time shoto saw that light in your eyes fade, and he didn’t like that.
“why would they think that? you’re the coolest person i know” he watched as the smile started to creep back onto your face “and i really like your clothes. they don’t make a person cool or not. my dad has cool clothes and he sucks”
this made you burst out laughing, which made shoto grin.
“you’re funny sho”
DAY 57
“maybe your house is haunted. that’s why your dad’s such a jerk” you explained hopping to the next rock in front of you. shoto jumped onto the one that you were just on.
“you think the haunted house is making him hate me?”
you stepped back onto land with a sigh.
“you’re right that doesn’t make sense.. well what if you came and lived with me! we could play pirates everyday and read stories every night”
that did sound promising. being able to live in a home that wasn’t his.
but he couldn’t.
“i don’t want to leave my mom alone with him”
“that- that makes sense” you crossed your arms frustrated at the situation. not long after your confession, shoto let you in about his father and how horrible he actually was. you could see how it would affect him some days. the way he would lay his head against the trunk of the tree. bags growing under his eyes which isn’t normal for a kid his age.
“ugh! everything is just so stupid!” you picked up a rock about the size of you whole hand and slammed it into the water resulting in a small splash.
“that was tiny”
“well it still helped! you try” you handed him a rock that was a little bigger “say something that make you mad and throw it in really hard”
shoto stood there looking at his rock before he started to reel it back.
“i hate my father!” the rock made a bigger splash then yours making the both of you laugh.
“nice one sho!” you went to pick up another big rock this time going to throw it yourself “the kids in my school are mean!”
“i want to play with my siblings!”
“i want to have nice clothes!”
the two of you continued to toss rocks into the creek, each of you stating something that just wasn’t right in you’re lives.
prime seven year old activity.
your threw rocks until the two of your small chests were heaving up and down.
“do you feel any different?”
“no”
“yeah, me either”
DAY 74
“did you know that the moon is 238,900 miles away?”
“of course i did”
you were currently reading out of your book on planets with shoto sitting right next to you peering over at the pages. you turned to him with a big smile.
“no you didn’t!”
“yeah i didn’t”
you laughed at his new, and growing, sense of humor. shoto pointed to a little doodle in the corner with a speech bubble.
“i love you to the moon and back. what’s that supposed to mean”
“it means you love someone a whole bunch”
“oh,” he turned to you “do you love me?”
“mhm! best friends love each other. that’s just how it works” you shrugged flipping the page “but i don’t just love you to the moon. i love you to.. saturn!” you pointed out your favorite planet to him.
“what’s the difference?”
“saturn is 912 million miles away. that’s a lot more than the moon” you let him sit with the new information as you reread all of the facts on the page.
“do you think we can go to saturn one day?”
“i sure hope so! maybe we can find some aliens up there. see what kind of stuff they do for fun”
shoto’s face scrunched up when you said that.
“aliens aren’t real”
“yes they are!”
“no..”
DAY 91
you walked towards the creek holding a box full of beads and string. you pushed past one last tree to find shoto already sitting there, feet in the water. that had been his favorite thing to do since he was introduced to this place.
“hey sho” you said sitting down next to him placing the box in between.
“hi” his eyes watched as you took off your own shoes and socks. there was a small, rare frown on your face as you dipped your feet in “what’s wrong?”
you pursed your lips out shifting them to one side, and then another “i have to go back to school tomorrow. summer break is over”
“oh” he had gotten so accustomed to his new routine that he hadn’t even thought about you leaving “are you sad about going back to school?”
“yeah”
“is it because the kids aren’t nice?”
“.. yeah”
you went to reach for the box unclipping the sides. taking off the lid, he noticed many colorful and differently shaped beads. plus string that could’ve been at least two feet long.
“what’s that for”
“i wanted to make friendship bracelets so we don’t forget about each other. i can show you how to make it. hold your wrist out”
you unwinded the ball of string while shoto extended his arm to you. carefully, you measured the size of his wrist then cut it. right before you could cut your own shoto took the scissors and the string.
“i can do yours” he gently grabbed your wrist going to cut the string at the right length. in all honesty he had made bracelets one time before with fuyumi, but he wasn’t going to mention it and take away your want to teach him.
“don’t you think it’d be cool if we went to the same school?”
“it would be nice,” shoto placed the scissors down “but my dad would never let me go to school. well, one that isn’t UA”
you looked up at the mention of the hero school “you want to go to UA? that’s so cool! you’re gonna be the number one hero and i’m going to brag to everyone that he’s my best friend” you showed him how you were going to pattern your beads, but he could do them however he wanted.
“do you want to go to UA? maybe we could be heroes together”
you thought about it as you slid a purple bead onto your bracelet “i don’t think so. my quirk isn’t really hero-like” shoto decided not to ask about your quirk, because he simply didn’t care. his whole life had been centered around quirks and didn’t want to talk about it further if you didn’t push.
the two of you spent the rest of the time talking. about school, and about the games you’ve played. right until you tied the bracelet securely on his wrist. it all white beads on it along with his name in the middle. complete opposite of yours, which looked like a rainbow puked on your wrist.
“that should be tight enough! but shake your arm around just in case” shoto shook his arm gently and you shook your head “no, you’ve gotta really shake it. like this” you wildly waved your arm over your head. it was enough to hear the jingle of the beads, yet they were still secure.
over these past three months shoto had decided to embrace your personality instead of fighting it. so he raised his arm up and shook it like yours. the boy got a little too committed to the bit and accidentally knocked himself beside the head with his arm.
“sho! you okay?” even with concerns in mind, you couldn’t help but giggle seeing him rub his head.
“that freakin’ hurt!”
you burst out in laughter which made him huff out in annoyance “i’m sorry! i just can’t help it-” you leaned backwards and ended up hitting your head on one of the tree trunks “ugh!”
shoto’s eyes widened and he reached over to help “you okay?” he asked but you heard a quiver in his voice. you looked up from your laugh to see a smile on his face and a small shake from his body.
he was laughing.
“i’ll be okay, but let’s not forget who did it first!” you huffed making him laugh more. smiling you cleaned up the rest of your beads. an alarm went off on your watch making your smile quickly fade “i gotta go now. my mom wants to get home to get ready for tomorrow”
shoto didn’t know what he was feeling, but it wasn’t good. his only friend was leaving. the only one who didn’t care about his quirk, or his dad. the only one who let him be himself whether he was being clueless, or a know-it-all.
the only person who saw him.
he opened his mouth to say a couple of words, but he was cut off feeling your arms wrap around him tightly.
“i’m gonna miss you” you mumbled into his shoulder. with reluctance, but care, he went to wrap his arms around you.
“me too,” he let out a quiet sigh letting his shoulders relax “do you think i’ll see you again?”
you were quiet, which had him spiraling. what if you didn’t want to see him again? what if this was all some big ruse and you didn’t actually like him. all this time, wasted just to-
“yeah i do. because i get that feeling people get. riiiight here!” you pulled away placing one hand in the middle of his chest. shoto’s brows scrunched together.
“my diaphragm?”
“what is that? no! i mean my gut!”
“yeah well you’re a little high”
“nuh uh!” you noticed the tiny smile that you had come to know “you’re messing with me” he chuckled as you got up and grabbed your things. another alarm sounded from your watch indicating that you really had to go “bye shoto. i’ll see you later okay?”
he watched as you walked away from the creek, and in part, away from him.
“okay, see you later”
DAY 3650
“mom i’m just gonna go really quick. i haven’t been in what three months?” you were walking from your school down to the old creek that you used to go to. you didn’t go there as frequently as you used to but it was still a good spot when you needed serenity “i’ll do my homework there and i’ll see you later.. bye love you” you hung up the phone right as you passed the playground.
kids yelling to each other from each side of the jungle gym. it had been majorly renovated since the last time you were on it. new slides and monkey bars, but they never changed the little cubby that you used to crawl into with an old friend.
you picked back up on your walk letting the memories come back to you one by one. the trees were a lot thicker than they were back then. harder to push aside without getting all scratched up.
the sound of rushing water could be heard from where you stood. you knew you were close.
“shit..” you mumbled noticing a cut you got on your calf. you hobbled closer to the creek with your eyes still down on the cut. which led you right into him.
you knocked into his back almost falling but his reflexes wouldn’t do that to you. he had his hand securely on your arm helping you stand in an upright position.
“thank you! i’m really sorry for bumping into you. i just got this cut and i wasn’t to focused on what was ahead of me” after fixing your clothes you finally looked up at your savior. your very familiar savior.
two different colored eyes. one side of his hair red and the other side white. you wouldn’t be able to forget those features. not even if you tried. the only thing that was new was a burn patch on one side of his face. you tried not to linger to much on that though.
by now he had let go of your arm placing his one hand back into his pocket “don’t worry about it. i should be going anyways” he grabbed his bag from under a nearby tree. as he walked away you felt a twisting in your stomach. you weren’t letting him get away again.
“i think i might know you” shoto stopped in his place turning back towards you “from.. when we were younger. my name is y/n, i used to come here with a friend who looked exactly like you. i’m sorry i just- i can’t remember your name”
his face didn’t move which made you more nervous each passing second.
“i’m sorry if you’re not him. it’s just that you two look so similar”
“my name is shoto. and i am familiar with you as well y/n"
"so formal" you chuckled quietly looking down at his uniform "you got in"
he looked down noticing that he was still wearing his school uniform.
"i did. what about you? did you try to apply?"
you shook your head laughing at his question "me? a hero? hell no. i don't have a hero quirk and i've come to terms with that. plus i don't think i'd want to do that for the rest of my life anyways. no offense" you went to sit down on a nearby rock near the creek. shoto still stood there stoic, and awkward "do you still have to go? if not it'd be nice to sit and catch up.. only if you want though"
shoto didn't look like it, but he was going through a whirlwind of emotions all at once. he had come here once a month since his first year. part of him just wanting a hidden space to think, the other part wondering if you'd ever pop up again. it was stupid to think that after ten years you'd randomly show up and you'd become best friends again, but here you were. sitting right across from him and offering a seat, and there was no way he wasn't going to take it.
taglist! @sagejin 🫶🏾
lmk if you want to be added
#honeipie#anime#bnha x reader#mha#writing#x reader#shoto todoroki#shoto x reader#bnha#bnha shoto todoroki#shouto todoroki#mha x reader#mha shoto#oneshot#my hero academia
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Learning something new about myself: I can draw the dress but I cannot draw the person in the dress.
I can work with this.
#dress design#should I have a tag for me just. talking?#my nonsensical babbles#drawing is hard y'all#and I am severely out of practice with it#which does not help#also why did Tumblr take away the thing where you hit tab and it ends the tag#now I have to hit enter?#what's up with that?#anyway#I have a new sketchbook that my brother gave me and it has dragons on it and I am drawing dresses#learning to draw by pretending I know how to draw#I can work with that#dresses babbles#that's my tag now I claim it
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I'VE GOT A FEELING YOU'VE BEEN SELLING ME OUT!
#persona 5#goro akechi#akechi goro#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#akeshu#shuake#artists on tumblr#drawings#your disposition is a foot in the grave etc etc. i'm tired of looking at this. please pretend the pose makes sense#i really don't know why i don't just learn how to draw kissing. at this point it would be easier than doing whatever this is
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Aw! XL cooking reminded me of when I was working with children and they'd get nightmares/scared of monsters, so was go to the garden and make Monster Soup! Anything that looked good would go into the nearest source of water (often a bird bath) so that the monsters would know we are kind people and stay outside and not come inside. Also the monsters would think of us as friends and protect us instead of scaring us. Now I'm hoping that I have turned any of these kids into bad cooks bc I was like that flower looks good! Toss it in! 😅😄😄😄
Thank you for reminding me of this memory!
I'm-In-Love-With-The-Monster Soup.
#tgcf#xie lian#hua cheng#ask#This story was extremely sweet thank you so much for sharing B'*)#I also used to work with kids and I really miss it!! This brought back lovely memories for me as well.#I am sure you helped a lot of kids through rough feelings by taking them seriously and letting them grow by confronting their fears.#Monster soup is something I am going to be thinking about for a long time....#If anything; experimenting in the kitchen and feeling the permission of freedom to cook helps encourage kids to learn!#even if its a pretend kitchen. A birdbath is just as valid as a soup pot!#Comic-commentary time: I am so sorry to people who didn't know or forgot that this is how I draw the TGCF pair.#Xie Lian actually tried to make a sandwich but it got to wet so he had to put it in a bowl.#no one knows where the green colour came from.#One more comic on this coming tomorrow (what have WWX and HC been up to?)
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The new CG has me in a mood (and the mood is punk goes pop) ʕ≧ᴥ≦ʔ🤘
#hello im back fromt he shadowban realm#back with a vengeance#I know the CG is supposed to be Ray dressed as Unknown.. but#I cant stop thinking about Unknown rocking out all his pent up emotions with music#and he just looks SO COOL#SO PUNK ROCK#I must admit my elder emo came thru a little with this one#I just adore him so much#This was my excuse to do a character study#I stared at so many stock images of dudes with guitars to do this and idk if i learned anything lol#Anyways i would be in the front row begging him for the sweaty shirt right off his back#thinkin bout how hed react if someone threw their bra on stage LOL#also lets not talk about how i got lazy & stopped drawing his jacket & pretend that actually he just got hot & had to take it off#the brainrot is still going strong#saeran choi#mysme saeran#mystic messenger#mysme#mystic messenger unknown#mysmeunknown#my art
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my csp just killed itself and now i dont have any of the downloaded stuff there and cant open any of my files
thus i can't finish any of my works
im goig. isnane i dort even care if anyone can comprehend what im saying i just need to put it annywhere cause im a crybaby ew /lh
#rip my billion quadrillion drawings#alright whatever im normal now#deepest apologies to anyone who have seen this post#rant post#nonsense#and thanks to finley for giving me a screenshot of my csp workspace(i have no idea how the whole layout/stuff youre using to work called)#like. just the program looks in general. i dont know how its called#neither in english or my native language#not even talking about bits of other languages i know#so yeah anyways thanks to finley for helping me get it to look like it used to#the original looks of the program makes me dizzy#lmao imagine pretending to know english and ranting on the tumblr dot com#ive been learning english for almost 10 years
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you guys will NOT believe who sat down and finally watched hermitcraft
#and youll NEVER GUESS who my favorite character is#and person. i love mumbo in general#the 'you all knew' is in reference to a fic where he tries to pretend to b human#but#everyone knows he's a vampire#Mumbo jumbo#hermitcraft#i had previously seen the life series#but im now rewatching it#because it's just#so good#AND SECRET LIFE?? so fucking fun#i love minecraft fellas and i love lore#how do u guys refer to character mumbo is it just c!mumbo or#was that a dsmp exclusive title?#IDK BUT I CANT WAIT TO LEARN!#ps: ignore how shit these all r im learning how to draw him
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get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it
it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is
#I don't know how the hell to draw kim#PLEASE gib me feedback#pretend the dialogue is better this is all I can do lol. but you get the gist of it#aaa give me constructive criticism. the other post about kim secretly being a loser made me think about what his apartment would look like#and this popped in my head I had to draw it#is this in character?#there's no eyebrow battle because in my head this happens some time in the future where kim opens up a little more easily#at this point he trust him with his secrets more (but not completely. harry's not touching the blue box today)#but it's a mixture of ''maybe if I tell x he will stop asking for more'' and real trust#but like do you see that happen#it's a secret because he doesn't want other people to learn that insisting can work#like I said in the tags of the other post I think he never lets anyone in to the point of avoiding calling the plumber even if the sink#has been broken for months#addition: fuck I should have putted more machines in there. I couldn't think of anything else other than radio controlled airplane#and a sewing machine. he must have more stuff like the camera.#he'd have some dangerous thing to warm the room#and nerd stuff. I'm not sure if he'd display it or keep it boxed somewhere#disco elysium#that's a convertible couch-bed if you can't tell. half covered with the Pile#pointless microblogging#it's so hard to draw them right they look different in every official thing#believe me I have tried#idk how to put more of the skills here :/#I have achieved peak kimharry brainrot I can't go back
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I discovered that I liked himbos because of this man. He broke my twink liker streak.
#I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRAW BUFF PEOPLE#but I think I did decent for my first time#I'll learn how to draw abs and make them not look like trash later for now just pretend he has them#I also don't normally draw ears when I draw human characters but like. okay. I can work with that ig#hope you people like yttd this might be my new hyperfix#YTTD#your turn to die#kimi ga shine#q taro burgerberg#qtaro burgerberg#yttd q taro#yttd qtaro#yttd qtaro burgerberg#yttd q taro burgerberg
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if i cant drive flicker cant either But they can have one of those battery powered kids cars, as a treat (not pictured bc i cant Draw)
let her drive around the track when its not in use she needs enrichment!!! they wanna go fast too!!
the Box still exists i think its just their bed now,,, you visit their garage & instead of a bed in the loft theres just a big metal box they curl up in
anyway . racing au by @saytrrose :3
#i know not a single thing abt vehicles but lets pretend flicker can learn how to fix them so shes not just useless#my first 2 Proper drawings of the year are putting flicker in aus . this definitely isnt sona favoritism#fun fact i Do have that top irl & No im not brave enough 2 wear it </3#i also did like . 1 research on pit crews n saw they had helmets & i Love helmets so flicker gets oen#torchs art#my ocs#tadc racing au#tadc au#sona: flicker#sona: flicker (racing)#jan 2024
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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I don't know how to say "my gender is something nonhuman and not able to be comprehended while adhering to our current society's standards of what men and women are supposed to be, never mind the fact that my preferred form is not a human body at all" without the other person being concerned...
#It goes beyond furry really i just don't feel like I'm human at all. I never really have#And i don't mean not a person although when I'm very depressed or the PTSD is hitting i get that too#I mean a non human person. But people either think I'm severely ill or joking when I say that and i unfortunately(?) am not#It's not even like I'm kin of a media species or person or whatever. I just don't see myself as human but i could draw it#I don't know how to put it into words. It sort of shapeshifts. But its core is the same#But either way when i look at myself in pictures or the mirror i don't recognize it as being me. I know it is logically but#It feels like I'm inhabiting a body that isn't mine. Like I'm in a costume or playing a game#Its kind of distressing sometimes but I've basically learned to live with the feeling. I probably will never own my body and idk#It's fine i guess. I don't know what it's like to be comfortable in your body or love it or whatever. I don't know if i ever will#And I've kind of given up hope on that changing. All i can do is pretend it doesn't bother me and keep going#Although i guess that's my outlook on.. everything lol#Whats the opposite of learned helplessness.. saying it's self reliance sounds too good.. it's more like learned lack of trust
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The thing with the Mari Lwyd, though, is that it's being... I don't know, 'appropriated' is the wrong word, but certainly turned into something it isn't.
Thing is, this is a folk tradition in the Welsh language, and that's the most important aspect of it. I feel partly responsible for this, because I accidentally became a bit of an expert on the topic of the Mari Lwyd in a post that escaped Tumblr containment, and I clearly didn't stress it strongly enough there (in my defence, I wrote that post for ten likes and some attention); but this is a Welsh language tradition, conducted in Welsh, using Welsh language poetic forms that are older than the entire English language, and also a very specific sung melody (with a very specific first verse; that's Cân y Fari). It is not actually a 'rap battle'. It's not a recited poem. It is not any old rhyme scheme however you want.
It is not in English.
Given the extensive and frankly ongoing attempts by England to wipe out Welsh, and its attendant cultural traditions, the Mari is being revived across Wales as an act of linguistic-cultural defiance. She's a symbol of Welsh language culture, specifically; an icon to remind that we are a distinct people, with our own culture and traditions, and in spite of everyone and everything, we're still here. Separating her from that by removing the Welsh is, to put it mildly, wildly disrespectful.
...but it IS what I'm increasingly seeing, both online and in real world Mari Lwyd festivals. She's gained enormous pop-culture popularity in recent years, which is fantastic; but she's also been reduced from the tradition to just an aesthetic now.
So many people are talking/drawing about her as though she's a cryptid or a mythological figure, rather than the folk practice of shoving a skull on a stick and pretending to be a naughty horse for cheese and drunken larks. And I get it! It's an intriguing visual! Some of the artwork is great! But this is not what she is. She's not a Krampus equivalent for your Dark Christmas aesthetic.
I see people writing their own version of the pwnco (though never called the pwnco; almost always called some variant on 'Mari Lwyd rap battle'), and as fun as these are, they are never even written in the meter and poetic rules of Cân y Fari, much less in Welsh, and they never conclude with the promise to behave before letting the Mari into the house. The pwnco is the central part to the tradition; this is the Welsh language part, the bit that's important and matters.
Mari Lwyd festivals are increasingly just English wassail festivals with a Mari or two present. The Swansea one last weekend didn't even include a Mari trying to break into a building (insert Shrek meme); there was no pwnco at all. Even in the Chepstow ones, they didn't do actual Cân y Fari; just a couple of recited verses. Instead, the Maris are just an aesthetic, a way to make it look a bit more Welsh, without having to commit to the unfashionable inconvenience of actually including Welsh.
And I don't really know what the answers are to these. I can tell you what I'd like - I'd like art to include the Welsh somewhere, maybe incorporating the first line of Cân y Fari like this one did, to keep it connected to the actual Welsh tradition (or other Welsh, if other phrases are preferred). I'd like people who want to write their version of the pwnco to respect the actual tradition of it by using Cân y Fari's meter and rhyme scheme, finishing with the promise to behave, and actually calling it the pwnco rather than a rap battle (and preferably in Welsh, though I do understand that's not always possible lol). I'd like to see the festivals actually observe the tradition, and include a link on the booking website to an audio clip of Cân y Fari and the words to the first verse, so attendees who want to can learn it ahead of time. I don't know how feasible any of that is, of course! But that's what I'd like to see.
I don't know. This is rambly. But it's something I've been thinking about - and increasingly nettled by - for a while. There's was something so affirming and wonderful at first about seeing the Mari's climb into international recognition, but it's very much turned to dismay by now, because she's important to my endangered culture and yet that's the part that everyone apparently wants to drop for being too awkward and ruining the aesthetic. It's very frustrating.
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4 and 20 for the Artist Ask Game! 👀
4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw
not sure about character...but subject? probably poses/anatomy in general. still bad at it. brain can't quite comprehend shapes lol all the anatomy tutorials just go in one ear/eye and out the other. no brain process in between 😅 same with lighting/shadows. basic art things make me trip and fall
20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy
eyes?? do people think eyes are hard? I always enjoyed doing eyes. maybe hair. hair is fun but i've seen many people say it's hard
#ask games#thank you for sending numbers!!!!#answering these im realizing how much i pretend i know what im doing but i know nothing even after endless tutorial videos and#reading stuff and taking classes. its more of a fake it to you make it and wing it and hope for the best lmao#just follow your heart and dont use your brain at all. head empty when arting. no thought process there. no technical skils applied#maybe this is why people who have done art fkr 3 years tell me to practice more. usuallt theyre art students. they see lack of skill#even though ive been drawing for like 25 years fhdhdjddnkdd#cant think technically and follow the “rules” when brain wanders off into some orher realm and forgets everything and experiments#and forgets how reality works. is hard to explain but my brain ks bad at learning and everything it “learns” is oil while brain is water#people love telling me “watch youtube videos! read things! take a class!” as if that will magically make oil stay mixed with water#oops how did this turn to a whole ramble lmao#lee rambles#but seriously i feel like people see this lack of skill and just feel my art is off and maybe that's why i dont have successful art#after 25+ years of “practice” and at least 10 years of posting it online. is that the secret? having a brain that can acrually learn#and apply what it learns. instead of relying on instinct or something lmao. in that case im screwed 😆#it miggt just be an uncaught learning disability of some kind because i cant explain why my brain is so bad at learning things!#ok done rambling. didnt mean to make this a ramble rant post lmao
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superfan! yandere boy x gn! popstar reader
✰ warnings: stalking, obsessiveness, breaking and entering, nsfw, masochist yandere, overstimulation, thigh riding, bondage, male masturbation, unhealthy behavior, average yandere tendencies, male yandere oc (he’s very pathetic and perverted, it’s giving “step on me” energy.) gender neutral reader
✰ a/n: heyyyyy guess who isn’t dead.. i literally open tumblr every 3 minutes i just haven’t been posting. but i’m hereeeee lol. here’s a random yandere oc post, sorry it’s not mortal kombat. (tbh i have faded away from my mk obsession and now i am obsessed with until dawn, the quarry, tlou, and rdr.)
part two here!
superfan! yandere boy that buys all of your merchandise and streams your music on loop 24/7. even while he sleeps.
superfan! yandere boy that commissions artists to draw you and him together in different styles. some of them may depict him on a cute date with you, and some are more explicit and depict you stepping on him or choking him.
superfan! yandere boy that sneaks into your concerts if he didn’t manage to buy a ticket. no matter how strong your security is, he will always manage to find a way in and pretend he's just a regular fan.
superfan! yandere boy that will even sneak onto your house and film you through your window for hours, and then he would go home and touch himself to the footage of you.
superfan! yandere boy that wants to buy meet-and-greet tickets to see you, and be able to feel your presence up close and be able to speak to you personally. but as much as he craves your attention, he knows he wouldn't be able to handle it and would crumble immediately the second you look him in the eyes.
superfan! yandere boy that pays people to stalk you and take pictures of you when he can't do it himself. especially ones when you have a wardrobe malfunction.
superfan! yandere boy that goes to sleep every night fantasizing and dreaming of you. his particular favorite wet dream is of you letting him ride your thigh, grinding against your skin as a desperate attempt to feel any friction on his cock. your hands would roam around his body as he relishes in your attention, no matter where you touch him. any small nudge or brush against his skin would set his heart on fire and oh no where'd his pants go-
superfan! yandere boy that thinks you could do no wrong. you said something offensive and got yourself cancelled? he is your number one defender and would be threatening your naysayers on the internet. he would even go as far as to learn to hack just so he could delete their accounts.
superfan! yandere boy that almost WANTS to get caught. he knows he wouldn't be able to handle your attention, so he avoids it, but a part of him wants to get caught and outed for his perverted, stalker ways. he wants to hear you cuss him out and degrade him. he wants to see the disgusted look on your face as he is exposed for everything he did. spit on him, kick him, treat him like vermin, he doesn't mind. he gets off on the thought of you punishing him. he has a particular fantasy where your punishment for him is by tying him up and overstimulating him until he is crying, whimpering, and almost fainting. but he would still beg for more. no matter how long it lasts. it could be a week long and he still wouldn't be satisfied.
#yandere x reader#sub yandere#male yandere#gn reader#dom reader#yandere oc#yandere x you#soft yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x darling#yan oc#yan x reader#male yandere x reader#top reader#sub character#yandere requests#yandere#x reader#oc x reader#yandere smut#yandere oneshot#masochist yandere#yandere headcanons#yandere insert#yandere boys x popstar reader
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So, I know people are really desperate for Sandra Lynn to have hooked up with Pamela Dawn instead of Bobby Dawn, and I completely understand that!* Bobby Dawn is slimy and awful and we don't know much about Pamela, so maybe she's better? But it is 100% Bobby Dawn for two very clear reasons:
Sklonda literally said it was him
Bobby Dawn has always been a predator
The first thing we learn about Sandra Lynn's affair during Spring Break Sophomore Year was that she had just left Aguefort (she dropped out her senior year and got a diploma later on) and she was very young. She was asked to join an established adventuring party of people who were older than her and that had lost one of its members. She fell in love with another member of the party that was already in a relationship, they had an affair, and then when the affair was discovered, Sandra Lynn was blamed, kicked out of the party, and her name was smeared as far and wide as possible by the person who had taken advantage of her so that person could absolve themselves, likely in the eyes of their partner and the party.
So what we can immediately deduce from this is that Sandra Lynn was an outsider to her new adventuring party, likely looked down on as "just a kid", maybe disdained for being a dropout, and most definitely resented for taking the place of the (presumably) dead party member. She was in actively dangerous and stressful situations while questing with the party and she probably had little support from the group during that time.
Sandra Lynn was very very vulnerable.
When he met Sandra Lynn, Bobby Dawn would have been about 20 years younger than he is now, likely in his late 30s/early 40s.** Probably still handsome, still a "dashing" active adventurer. He was married to Pamela already (not just in an established relationship), since he had a child by then that was close to grown and I don't think the Church of Sol would be very happy about a child out of wedlock. He would have been a cleric of Sol and probably still preaching "the good word of Sol" but it likely wouldn't have been constant. You can't give sermons while fighting monsters. I'm sure he even saved Sandra Lynn's life a few times!
The thing about Bobby Dawn being a televangelist now, but not then, is that when he was young, he was probably just as good at persuasion, at finding vulnerable people and exploiting their weaknesses to get what he wanted, and yet he hadn't made a name for himself as a televangelist, so people wouldn't know to be wary of him trying to convert or manipulate them.
The scene between Bobby and Kristen, when Kristen is pretending that Cassandra died shows exactly what kind of terrible person Bobby really is. He is happy to find Kristen devastated, that she is having "a real dark night of the soul" and needs guidance. He refuses to help Kristen stay at Aguefort (something that's within his power), despite knowing how beneficial that would be to her well-being, because that goes against his own goals. He is smug and condescending and cruel. He is preying on Kristen's devastation and vulnerability (not knowing it's an act), to draw her back into the fold of the Church of Helio/Sol.
The person who did that to Kristen, is the exact same person who took advantage of Sandra Lynn when she was still basically a kid, just out of high school. He took advantage of her feelings for him, her inexperience and isolation. And then, when they were discovered, he threw her away and made her the villain so he could get away with it.
He ruined Sandra Lynn's life. Yes, she's happy now with her daughter, her partner, and the beautiful home they've made at Mordred Manor with Adaine, Kristen, Lydia, Ragh, Tracker, Zayn, Aelwyn, Boggy, and 15 cats. But Sandra Lynn ended up with self-esteem and relationship issues that she is still dealing with to this day. Those issues ruined her marriage, could have ruined her relationship with Jawbone, and likely played a hand in the difficulties between her and Fig in Freshman Year, as Sandra Lynn saw her daughter take her first steps into the world of adventuring.
Because Sandra Lynn first wanted to be an adventurer and Bobby Dawn took that away from her, just like he tried to do to Kristen.
Bobby Dawn has shaped his career as a high priest of Sol and as a televangelist by portraying himself as the epitome of righteousness. He is rotten to the core, a predator in a job where he is meant to help people, and I CANNOT WAIT to see the Bad Kids take him down.
*I don't really understand it. Pamela Dawn is likely just as bad as Bobby. She's the chief paladin of the church of Sol, her husband is a televangelist and a High Priest of Sol, and she would have been around the same age as Bobby and having an affair with a vulnerable young girl who she then kicked out of the group and slandered. It being Pamela would still be awful!
**Even with the assumption that both Bobby Dawn and his child had their kids at a young age, the math still has to take into account that Sandra Lynn's daughter is the same age as Bobby Dawn's GRANDSON.
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