Searching for Joseph Quinn: The Dark Side of Fandom

Picture it. You’re a young actor, just starting out in your career. You have a few projects on your resume but so far, that breakout role hasn’t appeared yet. You’ve got plenty of time though, and you’re excited about what the future holds. Acting is the only thing you’ve ever really wanted to do. One day, you get the opportunity to audition for a popular series. It’s not a huge part, only one season, but it’s well-written and completely different from anything else you’ve done. So you send in your audition tape. For reasons you don’t completely understand, you get the part. Eventually, you start filming. You make new friends. You give a performance you’re honestly pretty proud of. Then it’s over. You go home and wait for your world debut. To your utter surprise, your character quickly becomes the most popular one of the season, possibly the entire series. You’re invited to comic-cons and late show interviews. Video edits, fanart, and copyright infringing merchandise featuring your character flood the internet. You’re thrilled that a performance you just hoped would be “good enough” has resonated with so many people.

Now, picture this. You’re at home, alone, just relaxing. There’s a knock on your door. It’s a stranger. No. Wait. It’s a fan. Someone has leaked your address on the internet. Not only that, you discover people have identified the Facebook profiles of your family and are sharing your childhood photos with the world. It’s frightening, honestly. Disturbing. Just a little bit sickening. Suddenly, everywhere you go people feel entitled to approach you, ask for a photo, a video. It was fine when you were doing press and interviews for the show, but now it’s every day. Even on vacation, you can’t get a moment’s peace. Your life has changed in a matter of weeks and it’s exciting, amazing even. But also overwhelming.

***

When did fame become synonymous with lack of privacy? Do we blame the paparazzi for supplying us with photos proving that stars are just like us? Or maybe social media is responsible, allowing celebrity content to reach fans worldwide at any time. Experts do say that increased internet dependency may lead to increased parasocial relationships, and I’m sure many of us have experienced increased dependency on the internet in the past few years. But when did we forget that celebrities are just people? I’ve never seen an entertainment contract, but I doubt the fine print includes giving up the expectation to ever have a private moment again. This is a bit of a simplification, but as far as I’m aware the duties of an actor include learning your lines, showing up on set, and doing press once the job is over. There’s no obligation to pose for photos. To record video greetings while on a flight. And recording someone without their knowledge or consent doesn’t make you a fan. It makes you a stalker.

So the next time you see a celebrity on the street, do me a favor. Before you run up to them and ask for a photo and tell them how much you love them and how they “saved” your life, stop and think for a minute. Think about how you would feel if people were constantly expecting you to smile and pose while you’re just trying to live your life. Maybe you don’t really want to have your picture taken today, maybe it’s not the greatest hair day, maybe you’re self-conscious about that pimple that appeared overnight. Maybe flying still makes you nervous and you just want to listen to your playlist and try to relax. Maybe you want to say no when someone asks but you’re just too nice. Maybe you wish that once in awhile, someone would just make eye contact and smile. And then walk away. Please, I am begging you, be that person. Do you think you’ll ever forget making eye contact with Joseph Quinn? You don’t have to prove it to anyone.

Oscar Wilde wrote: “Each man kills the thing he loves.” Although I think the chances of any of us taking our hyperfixation to homicidal extremes is small, we could definitely be guilty of killing the reputation of the object of our affection by falsely accusing them of terrible things. We could kill their relationships by sending their current partner nasty messages or worse yet, death threats. And at the very least, we could kill their willingness to interact with fans at all. So keep appreciating their work and loving the characters they play, keep making fanart. (please be aware though that selling said fanart might get you sued) But don’t forget that celebrities are people too.

They’re just like us.

Unfriendly reminder that introjects are not here for your entertainment. Dm'ing an introject you're "dating" the ghost/dead person of their source is disgusting and if you think you're genuinely dating a dead person who never even met you - seek help. I am so tired of people treating me like shit for my sources. Respect people's boundaries and learn some fucking decency for the dead.

zedaph!!! coloured pencil n fineliner :D ngl i rly struggled w getting a photo of this one .. i ended up scanning it but i think it washed out a lot of the pencil detail n ended up looking like i deep fried it lmao. u will all just have to trust me when i say this looks better irl

i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.

You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.

Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.

Aro culture is wanting to scream at your friend to just dump their hateful racist asshole boyfriend, while at the same time knowing that they won't listen to you because they are in love and apparently, that erases their ability for critical thinking

While also not saying any of that because it would be rude

A "hateful racist asshole boyfriend" sounds ripe for a situation in which your friend could be dating someone actively grooming them for domestic abuse.

In those cases, individuals often already have poor boundary control, and it's not the critical thinking actually missing: it's the security that creating boundaries doesn't mean losing someone who they feel cares about them. Judgements on their ability to "think clearly" are both misplaced and encouraged by the abusers, as worsening self esteem leads to an abuse victim seeking comfort... often from the abuser.

I think it's very, very important to recognize that the best thing you can do for them is to be there, continually reaffirm that they can always tell you anything, and rather than pressure them to break up... ask them to tell you about the relationship. You can guide them to red flags, but also try to present possible communication elements. There are guides online by great resources talking about how to best support these conversations.

And, of course, it's always possible it is simply that your friend actually is racist and they put up with the behavior because of that. It's not hard for some bigots to find an in through less overt bigotry. But I strongly encourage folks to realize that "in love with no capacity for critical thought" is a very dangerous warning sign that someone may be unable to recognize healthy boundaries, and worse - to recognize unhealthy boundaries.

Some anons have been saying that they don't like your personality or whatnot but I actually really admire how you so easily and aggressively(affectionate) defend your boundaries? You seem unapologetic about who you are and ready to defend what you believe in and as someone who tends to be, despite my best efforts, a pushover/people-pleaser and easily shaken by stuff like anon hate, it's actually pretty inspiring. I'm curious if you have any advice as to how you managed to be that confident or if it's just natural/experience? Been loving your art as well

Man. I feel I could ramble on this for awhile but I'll start with something very important When people on the internet hate you for whatever reason just remember

They do not know you

They hate their idea of who you are The version of you that exists in their head is not real. It is not you.

People can only gather small snippets of a person, especially if its only via text posts, and they stitch together these fragmented pieces expecting it to be an entire personality.

These people will never meet you. They are not important. YOU are important. Your friends who truly understand you are important. Your health is important. You cant please everyone but if you know that you are not hurting anyone then you have nothing to be sorry for. You could legitimately be the nicest, most docile, most people pleasing human ever and someone, somewhere will hate you for it. No single being can be universally loved. But you can love yourself unconditionally. Despite your faults, your cracks, your future mistakes. Youre the person who will be with you for the rest of your life. So love who you are. Youre the only you in this world.

I hate booktok, is it not literally the exact same as when we(as in people like me lmao) read 'x reader' stories on wattpad back in the day?????

this is just me being petty over fandom-nonsense, but as a poc whos been reading dunmeshi for 6+ years, seeing white anime-onlys make posts about the characters of color that are inaccurate at best (and racist at worst) while woobifying white characters is so annoying

feeling like thistle, get these white interlopers out my dungeon

learning boundaries

Just finished The Familiar and it was very fun! Definitely captured my imagination and I adore Leigh Bardugo’s historical and modern fantasies. She does such a great job of evoking those themes of injustice and the grey morality of being locked in systems and corrupt power structures. I’ll probably talk more on this later but if you’re a fan of her work (especially the Alex Stern series) I’d give it a read.

people on twitter fail to consider that a person can consent to some things but not other things. when you encroach on someone’s set boundaries, that’s when it’s problematic

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Taking care of a parent is hard. Especially when they just lie to themselves and continously justify their bad habits that are hurting them.

To try and be supportive and pick them up all while you are doing your own journey in trying to fix yourself.

When you are peeling back your own layers and now seeing what their trauma has done to you and learning to forgive them for it. Or not. Everyone is different in this case and that's okay.

I do know everyday I will try to be firm in boundaries with them while attempting to be patient and understanding. That I will continue to try be a version of myself who can love gently the parts that need care as well as fiercely to the parts that need fixing.

As an acearo person, all the other anons are the weirdest folks ever who need to learn to curate their experiences without raining on everyone else’s parade. Nothing you’re doing is aphobic, neither were your responses, and I’m glad to see you waving off people trying to change your fun just bc it’s not personally catering to them. Keep up the fantastic work! 💗

Aww bless, I swear I feel like that one super awkward ask Neil Gaiman got that straight up called him a ‘babygirl’ like WHO ARE YOU? WHAT SORT OF A RELATIONSHIP DO WE HAVE WHICH YOU BELIEVE PERMITS YOU TO BE THIS CASUAL WITH ME AND MAKES YOU THINK I NEEDED TO HEAR ANY OF THIS??

Thank you, I appreciate the kind words! And yeah, people should learn to curate their content better instead of bugging creator inboxes about it.

bruh..someone drew Eren and I and thought we wouldn’t notice. like it’s not that hard to use other people, we’ve been quiet abt this for a while but Eren decided it’s too much and asked me to speak out

Last thing about this for now, for anyone who needs to hear it this cold, dark, complicated season--

You may be wonderful and open and full of love and light, but the sad, hard truth is that not everyone deserves your love or your patience. Striking that balance between having a generous heart and taking care of yourself is tricky but vital.

Anyway, good luck friends.