#kinda the reverse of like...Everything
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I need to, like...grab my Dottore and squish him down until he behaves-
#not important#desert doktorspiele#i desperately wanna write him more#been looking over my drabbles and it's like#1. something i didnt finish (or lead-in to rp stuff so it's deliberately left off on a “wait that's it??” kinda spot)#2. really self indulgent in a way i feel like i have to justify#3. there's like...one or two things i think would be good enough to post but im a coward/it feels sorta weird with them being rather short#(secret fourth option)#what we're dealing with here is stage five brainrot where i've rotated him in my brain SO dang much#i can only seem to write him in an ultra self indulgent manner absolutely based in my headcanons#so he's inherently very canon divergent and also#kinda the reverse of like...Everything#which is normal for my takes tbh but not great for attracting other fans#if the fandom zigs i zag kinda thing#boi is evil and maniacal and malicious?#well! i wonder where my characterization lands then-- (rhetorical)#that's just kind of a generalized summary it's a Lot of factors-#but if i keep shaking him around maybe he'll finally work with me in a way where#i can sneakily introduce the self indulgence bit by bit so by the time you realize it#it's too late and you're trapped and he'll live rent free in your head forever maybe
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HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!
I see a lot of ads for Reverse 1999 but I didn't realize it came out global! I've been wanting to look at it bc it looks SO COOL
-Lucky
I'm dragging my barely alive corpse through the mud. I think I posted about reverse 1999 like- 4 months ago. Oops. But if you did play it, thoughts? To be honest, it's a super pretty game. Characters look nice, the animations are fucking great, and I really like the art style. Everything else is pretty fucking meh for me.
#lucky#lucky anon#reverse 1999#like don't get me wrong#it's a really interesting premise and the gameplay loop isn't horrible or anything#its at least different from other gacha games#and my god the fucking art and animations of the characters is what keeps me in the game#but man#it gets so stale??#its nice that there's some strategy with each characters passives and whatever but you can kinda just brute force everything#and once you get it#its just the same loop all over again#and i dont really blame the creators because its kinda hard to make that kind of style of combat more interesting#but its still boring ya know?#the story as well#it had a really good premise#the storm and everything but like#first two chapters kinda#sucked?#not really sucked but i feel like it was sooo...meh? like it had such a strong start and then just kinda#stayed the same?#the overall story is good but when you're going through it chapter by chapter#holy shit its sooooo boring#like i feel like im reading filler with one sentence of progression#i actually liked the first event story with the robber#melenia??? something like that and the current event story with Shamane and kaalaa#BUT HOLY SHIT#THE FUCKING PAYOFF??? WAS SO ASS??? IT WAS SO GOOD AND THEN IT JUST ENDED#i was invested in this mystery and fucking meteor shower and this arcane vs human research thing#and the reuniting of siblings never seen before
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back to obsessing over Richard
at first he doesn't seem to have any obvious fatal flaws - no hubris, no hunger for power etc
but his fatal flaw is this little voice in his head that whispers sometimes ''maybe violence IS the answer tho"
it's not like he believes that it's a good solution; but sometimes it's the more reliable solution. more efficient solution. faster solution.
and oh how he wants to speedrun his way back to being respectable citizen
(which is, of course, very ironic given the methods. but deep down he believes that he's so good at killing he can afford being immoral. he tries to get rid of this belief but to no avail.)
#like. sometimes he wants to do a good thing but the more violent way to get that is the way he prefers despite everything#like getting Tommy out in s3 finale. he could have broken into the house and try to do it stealthily#but no. he went in and started blasting guns in a very ''either i succeed or i'll die trying'' kinda way#then with proving Gilian guilty#he could have just waited for the final trial in the custody case#Julia's arguments were strong after their marriage and with Gilian accused of murder they were practically winners#but Richard had to make sure. and he thought he could only achieve that by using his killing skills#ugh. the complexity of this character#esp his character arc#the writers were like ''oh see how broken he is''#''just kidding! he started to heal; not so broken now! just a guy who wants to be loved!''#''anyway look how deeply broken he is. more so that you realized''#it's like a reverse matrioshka#where the surface-level angst covers the deeper abandoned dreams which in turn cover an ocean of angst of much much bigger scoop#* scope#anyway his fatal flaw is deep-seated belief of ''i'm so good at killing that i don't have to be moral'' which persists despite him trying#to fight it#boardwalk empire#richard harrow
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trying to play it REALLY COOL about needing to move out in a month and having nowhere to go
#i have one ideal lead but no way to get an answer#it feels less likely but not impossible#i have one backup but it’s less ideal and i don’t have much info#they might not end up wanting a housemate and we’d need to make sure the dogs get along#and theoretically an attic available but it would kinda be as a favor to me#which is like. cool and also hard#and i’m like. ok so when should i cancel my internet and utilities and i will probably need to rent a storage unit but i don’t want to do#anything that would be hard to reverse#i think once september comes i’m going to pack everything up so i can move quickly
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beginning to understand what iketani meant with working on your own car makes you fonder of it bc i just replaced my brake discs and brake pads all on my own and the sense of pride and love for my car is unlike anything ive ever felt man
#ngl feeling so accomplished#even if it took me three hours bc my entire body weight was not enough to get the old rusty crusty dusty 17 year old discs off#had to ask the garage owner for help#not gonna lie when he showed up w a whole ass hammer he kinda scared me but#guess it was necessary??#anyways yippieeeee new brake discs#ventilated ones!!#honestly getting everything off was the hardest part#putting everything back on was basically just reverse engineering#man the new discs are so shiny every time i pass my car now im like ooh shiny#like what am i#a bird??#also shoutout to the 3mm of brake pad left on my old brake pads i cannot for the life of me believe my car stopped with those#took them out was like ''oh there's still quite a bit left'' then compared them to the new pads and there was a whole centimeter difference#like oh lawd.#BUT WE DID IT#IM SO HAPPY#my babygirl (read: car) was so brave#i hope i wont have to do this again anytime soon bc#do i feel proud#yes#do i have crippling anxiety that i messed up somewhere despite following The ChrisFix Tutorial and asking for a once-over by the garage owne#also yes#but f it we ball#iketani was right that shit do make u feel very proud#ok that's it that's my rambling for today#for the stray person reading this ily
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I notice that even though Citron's my fave, I spend more time here talking about Orange and Navel.
I think it's fear of being wrong.
#I can say with upmost confidence that everything I say about Orange and Navel is accurate#that's a joke but I do feel like I can say “whatever I want” and not feel like I'll be horribly wrong about it#I've even discussed with myself why if it turned out Orange and Navel were actually born the same year as Citron it'd still make sense#that's not my fave age breakdown but if someone else or the game said they were I'd be like a'ight that's fine I guess#I don't want to say something wrong/inaccurate about Citron tho because the thing is that no matter where I go I'm the odd one out somehow#and I don't want to know what I think on Citron might be wrong I love him and so I'm extra sensitive there#I even have a whole partial joke post that no one reacted to (okay it's a ship post but he's half the ship so...)#that shows me no one agrees with me so I should keep to myself#also tho Orange and Navel are just easier to come up with headcanons for lol#But like like like when I write Citron he's actually the least independent to himself brother if that makes sense#(I'm not sure it does... it's explained better a couple tags down but I'm not saying he doesn't have his own interests#but rather some of his interests/opinions are somewhat influenced by his brothers & he's like that the most out of the four of them)#I mean I haven't written enough Tangerine to compare him here so he might be more but then again he's very opinionated and sure of things#so who can say yet#(I say as if I've written any of them much at all. Genuinely this might not be an entirely fair comparison but still.)#Citron & his brothers#as for how I write Citron he like like has approximate knowledge & mild interest in certain things bcuz he knows his brothers are into them#which is kinda the reverse of SenriMono huh?#but to me it makes sense for Citron because he doesn't want to be fighting with his brothers he wants to be on good terms with them#so I think in the back of his mind he takes interests in things and has thoughts like: 'maybe I can talk to them about these things one day#or 'if there's a point when we're not fighting I'll ask ____ about ___'#you know?#these tags are too long#sorry for rambling#I legit could've just made a separate post with them#but then I'd be putting my thoughts on Citron on display and that'd be scary so I won't move them#I'm almost certain no one reads my tags anyway#still. sorry to the person who actually does and had to read through all this#idk why you didn't stop but I appreciate you regardless :3#by the way did you know there was a 30 tags tag limit? I just found out lol
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beyond frustrating that even my chronic pain is tied directly to my trauma
#like what. they got away w everything & i get to be in near constant pain + fatigue for the rest of my life??? how is that fair?#im just now learning how not to beat myself up for needing lots of rest too. i used to think i was just lazy & rude.#but its literally my body telling me 'hey we need to chill out for a while & not move much. sitting is a good way to do that'#i cannot help it. yet instead of being angry w those men i was angry at myself for needing more rest than others#(my dad among other things is pretty ableist & its very evident. its rlly hard not to internalize the shit he says sometimes)#anyway. cool that the abuse fucked me up so bad internally that it cant be reversed & continues to cause me significant pain 🙃#actuallytraumatized#actuallyabused#csa vent#kinda? more implied than outright stated though#trauma vent
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why is zelda's name different in windwaker?
ok so long story short. ganondorf shows up again some time after oot (adult timeline) but theres no hero this time so the sages from oot panic and flood hyrule. king of hyrule gets cursed to be a boat for the rest of time and his descendants flee across the great sea that hyrule once was. one of these descendants is princess zelda but its way too dangerous for zelda to be out in the open bc gan is looking for her so they give her amnesia and break her triforce of wisdom to do so and she goes "oh ok," gets a whole boat, becomes a pirate queen, and names herself tetra. she does eventually remember who she was but she never really seems to accept it? she just keeps being a pirate + still goes by tetra and actually gets annoyed when shes called zelda instead. She still ends up as princess/queen of New Hyrule somewhere down the line just. as tetra the pirate not zelda the princess
#its been many years since ive played ww and iirc they dont explain how this happens very well#shes like the exact reverse of sksw zelda#sksw zelda had to reckon with the fact she wasnt actually herself and the pain that came with realizing that hylia had orchestrated things-#so that sksw link would do her bidding all for zelda to win a war that threatened everything and everyone#and tetra is told shes zelda and is like. ok i guess lol and just keeps being tetra and just kinda thinks the whole thing is stupid
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alright lads im continuing my life series kick by watching martyn’s pov of 3rd life for the first time and finally dooming myself to inevitably also be insane about him and ren 👍
#ive wanted to see their povs of 3l in particular for a while since they were such a huge presence on the server and the main threat to#desertduo and everything. but also bcuz i wanna see ren ask martyn to behead him ^_^ i love you loyalty so strong it borders on/is kinda gay#serena.txt#also im kinda excited to see the glimpses of desertduo from their pov bcuz obviously with the roles reversed scar and grian are kinda the#main baddies from their perspective. so that will be fun like i said yesterday i love seeing how characters are viewed by other characters
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This is very random but I'm listening to RED and I almost do is suddenly making me think of Jo and Laurie ??? Specifically the lines "and i wish i could run to you / and i hope you know that i everytime i don't / i almost do" like my mind suddenly went to the scene in the 2019 movie where she goes to leave him a letter in their mailbox while he's away!!!
ANNIE I'VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THIS SINCE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!! It's about looking for this person who's essentially a part of you and going against your own self in order to be closer to them or make things back to the way they were while fully knowing that you're compromising your identity in doing so, but being ignorant of the fact because you love them. so much. 2019 movie!jo never loved laurie romantically, but she loved her friend, her best friend theodore teddy laurence and she was willing to do anything for him to remain her friend. it's sad and deranged and horribly twisted, and so breathtakingly human. this is a love story. (friendship = love)
#also like how. laurie was literally the first person who made jo feel like being jo march wasn't so crazy#like being herself wasn't just something to be accepted but also understood#and it's so tragic in the context of 2019 movie because it ends in her being willing to give up who she is for him#their entire relationship kinda reversed. they believed they were the same but they grow up to be so different. it's so human.#I'M FEELING STUFF#brotp: he's no boy he's laurie#💌restless wind inside a letter box💌#annie tag#little women 2019#FRIENDSHIP IS LOVE PEOPLE!!!!!#i love how over the top all of it is. 2019 version really said let's make friendship be as dramatic as possible. let's call that true love#this is a ballad this is a love story this is a friendship and this friendship can and will rattle the stars#it's such a pivotal aspect of who jo is and laurie is her friend. and that's worth everything.#sorry for referencing treasure planet but also not sorry
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Rereading itnl to get back into the mindset for it and God Damn that first chapter really is smth huh
#speculation nation#itnl shit#like not to toot my own horn and all but like. man.#is it the most polished it could ever be? probably not. i wrote and published it within a day on nothing but a singlehanded drive#sleep deprived and so excited for this idea#i can see spots where it's not the smoothest. but honestly i kinda like it like that.#the very concept of this first chapter is that it's supposed to be chaotic and terrifying and painful#pushing him into the pure impulse decision to change EVERYTHING#and then the transition to him waking up at ground 0 of july. ooughhh#i still think that was a very good decision of mine. the more i look back on the manga and plan the more sure i am#bc theres stuff like Hoppered. who would be Drammatically different had this not happened.#and then with vash himself. july was a glaring lesson to him. a regret he can never take back.#and i'll be giving him chances to reverse some of his mistakes. but this one? the Big One? no way#and i have some very good plans for where things r going from here. i have the explanation for why he couldnt go back as far as he thought#and i am soooooo excited to reveal it. all in due time though...#anyways im getting some writing done before work today#give it up for Day 15!!!! my last day before i get a day off. thank fucking god.
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♡♡♡♡
#.#im understanding sisyphus a lot better now#or rather just greek irony a lot more#nobody was doing purgatory or hell the way they greeks were#sorry i was thinking of tantalus yeah thats whats happening to me#cause i like cooking i like food#i wanna say maybe to some im actually good at it or something maybe#but i also cant it more than one meal a day if that or else i go to really dark places mentally and feel like shit physically#like its bad and ik i should work on reversing the whole ED situation#but unintentionally or not ive invested too much into this sinking ship to not see it through#its not that bad i swear ik it could be worse and im not encouraging it to worsen#but like is it bad id rather it get worse than i recover?#no yeah thats bad its bad damn oh well its not like its not obvious im like transparent w this shit i bet nobodys said anything tho so its#it cant be that bad cause nobodys said anything#doesnt mean they havent noticed but hey theyre also the same ppl who are happy im marginally less fat and kinda on the right path#like if i hadnt fucked this week up then i wouldve hit 25 probably#i def did hit 25 one day but yeah atm its 20 and if i put in the effort which i hate how hopeful it sounds i know its bad but fuck i cant#care about morality and shit anymore nothing good has come of being moral or healthy or trying to get better#the only thing thats working rn is this so maybe if in a few months i hit that dream number maybe itll make it easier to not kill myself#like sure it wont change everything else wrong but even if im alone at least 40 pounds lighter i wont mind living w myself#like even if it makes no difference to anyone at least maybe i can look in the mirror for longer than a few seconds before starting to cry#i thought there would be more good days before things got bleak but now its like hard to tell myself its worth holding out for the next ones#i dont mean worth in a suicidal way#but like yeah no i cant find reasons to be happy and that should be scary except its been months and im just tired now#i cant believe ive gotten to this level of defeat i didnt think this was achievable outside like a literary context#goodnight and happy v day i guess cheers
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Top 23 of 2023
Have you been aching to get your hot little hands on 52 weeks of data around original posts, likes, reblogs, and searches, all weighted and ranked and tied up into categories with a nice little bow on top? Well, today’s your day! It should come as no surprise that Artists on Tumblr reign supreme: from stunning traditional art, jaw-dropping digital art, fanart, sculptures, textile art—you name it, basically—this year’s list shows that Tumblr truly is the home for art and artists. Thank you, Artists on Tumblr, for enriching our dashboards day after day.
Rounding out the top three, we have two iconic shows: Good Omens is live-action, and The Owl House is animated, but both have a heck of a love story at their core. The second season of Good Omens blessed us with not one but two ineffably exquisite ships, while the final season of The Owl House broke and then healed fans’ hearts in equal measure. Thanks, @danaterrace! Actually, come to think of it, the Good Omens finale kinda did the same in reverse. Thanks to you, too, @neil-gaiman! We can’t wait for season 3.
Speaking of heartbreak and healing, Our Flag Means Death’s second season offered both in droves. The entire cast gave stellar performances, and fans couldn’t have been happier to see the kinds of representation the show displayed. Last year’s #1 topic, Stranger Things, may have dropped a bit, but trust us, you wouldn’t know it from the amount of meta, fanart, and fics in the tag. And did you hear about the live-action adaptations of both The Last of Us and One Piece? They were a preeeetty big deal this year, too. Check ‘em out if you haven’t yet (lol, of course you have). And we’d be remiss not to mention the hugely dedicated fans, fanartists, and fic writers devoting their time to all things Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Y’all deserve a little pizza, as a treat.
2023 was also a year for blockbuster movies, which of course hasn’t escaped anybody’s notice here on Tumblr. Barbie smashed box offices worldwide and left us reeling with every re-watch. How can one describe Greta Gerwig’s pink-filled opus? It certainly is one of the movies of all time. Meanwhile, with its incredible animation and soundtrack, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse introduced us to a whole new multiverse of Spider-People, opening the portal to a veritable flood of incredible OCs. And then, of course, we got a fresh perspective on an old classic when cinephiles introduced Martin Scorscese’s cinematic masterpiece, Goncharov (1973), to a new generation of film aficionados who resoundingly agree that it is, in fact, the greatest mafia movie ever made. We’re so glad this underrated film finally got the acclaim it has long deserved.
In the realms of gaming and tech, the long-anticipated Baldur’s Gate 3 has basically become everyone’s new favorite D&D/dating sim combination. Of course, the Pokémon franchise, games, shows, and Hatsune Miku collabs remain perennial favorites. Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, sorry, we mean of course X, made waves across the internet. Similarly, the Reddit blackout drove Redditors to new venues, and Tumblr users welcomed the folks from r/196 with open arms—we’re huge fans of your memes, y’all, and you fit right in. Welcome, we’re glad you enjoy the chaos. Here’s a fun fact: if we included post metadata in Year in Review rankings, #polls, introduced in January of 2023, would have been the #5 topic on Tumblr this year. Phenomenal.
And, oh right. Taylor Swift had kind of a big year, what with the albums, the epic global tour, and the movie and stuff. Fantastic work, @taylorswift, the Swifties on Tumblr thank you for everything.
This is Tumblr’s Year in Review.
Artists on Tumblr
Good Omens
The Owl House
Barbie
Pokémon
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
Critical Role
Goncharov
Taylor Swift
Genshin Impact
Stranger Things
The Last of Us
Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Elon Musk
196
Star Wars
Our Flag Means Death
Crowley | Good Omens
LGBTQ
Cottagecore
Baldur's Gate 3
One Piece
Aziraphale | Good Omens
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Measure 110, or the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
So if y'all aren't local to Oregon, you may not have heard that the Oregon state legislature just voted to -- essentially -- gut Measure 110, the ballot measure which decriminalized all drug possession and use in the state. It turned all drug use into a citation instead, and the citation and fine could be waived by completing a health screening. The entire point of Measure 110 was replacing jail with health care and services to help people instead, and while I could probably write a very long side post on the imperfections of that approach, it was at the very least a move in the right direction after decades of the pathetic failure and absolutely racist mess that is the "War on Drugs."
You may hear this pointed to in coming years as a reason why we have to just throw people into jail for using drugs, because Measure 110 failed. And like... it did fail, kinda. Sorta. It failed in that it did not manage to fix everything immediately, and it created some new issues while also exposing older issues more sharply.
It also saved the state $40 million in court costs prosecuting low-level drug offenses, kept thousands of people whose literal only crime was putting a substance into the body of a consenting adult (themselves) out of jail, put at least one addiction services center in every county in the state, invested $300 million in addiction services, and an awful lot more. See the end of this post for more reading.
But where it failed, it failed because it wasn't supported. Police and advocacy groups both asked for specific tickets for this new class of offenses which had the phone number to call to go through the health screening and the information about how going through that health screening would make the ticket go away printed on it prominently - lawmakers declined to fund this. Governor Kotek budgeted $50K to train officers on how to handle these new citations and how to direct people to the treatment and housing supports, but lawmakers thought that training officers on this new law at all was a waste of money. Money moved extremely slowly out to the supports that were supposed to come into play to help people obtain treatment or get access to harm-reduction strategies. People freaked the fuck out about clean-needle outreach, fentanyl testing strip distribution, Narcan training, and other harm-reduction strategies.
And at the end of the day, Measure 110 gets called a failure because it wasn't a silver bullet. Never mind that thousands of people are not sitting in jail right now for basically no fucking reason. Never mind that people have gotten treatment, harm has been reduced, overdoses have been prevented...
So, yeah. You'll probably start hearing this trotted out as proof that, well, we triiiied decriminalizing drugs, but look what happened in Portland! Well, what happened in Oregon is that we got set up to fail, and still didn't fail, just didn't totally succeed.
Measure 110 highlights, quoted directly from Prison Policy Initiative:
The Oregon Health Authority reported a 298% increase in people seeking screening for substance use disorders.
More than 370,000 naloxone doses have been distributed since 2022, and community organizations report more than 7,500 opioid overdose reversals since 2020.
Although overdose rates have increased around the country as more fentanyl has entered the drug supply, Oregon’s increase in overdoses has been similar to other states’ and actually less than neighboring Washington’s. A peer-reviewed study comparing overdose rates in Oregon with the rest of the country after the law went into effect found no link between Measure 110 and increased overdose rates.
There is no evidence that drug use rates in Oregon have increased. A cross-sectional survey of people who use drugs across eight counties in Oregon found that most had been using drugs for years; only 1.5% reported having started after Measure 110 went into effect.
There has been no increase in 911 calls in Oregon cities after Measure 110.
Measure 110 saves Oregonians millions. Oregon is expected to save $37 million between 2023-2025 if Measure 110 continues. This is because it costs up to $35,217 to arrest, adjudicate, incarcerate, and supervise a person taken into custody for a drug misdemeanor — and upwards of $60,000 for a felony. In contrast, treatment costs an average of $9,000 per person. The money saved by Measure 110 goes directly to state funding for addiction and recovery services.
There is no evidence that Measure 110 was associated with a rise in crime. In fact, crime in Oregon was 14% lower in 2023 than it was in 2020.
Further reading/sources:
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soulmate au with percy and reader. i was thinking like reader is like a complete nobody at camp and the daughter of some not really known god. percy and reader meet by accident and they figure out they are soulmates. percy at first didn’t want anything to do with it because he had feelings for annabeth but comes around.
Percy Jackson x Fem!reader. (Soulmate au)
-£ Pictured a older version of book Percy, but imagine them staying a camp or coming late.
-£ words: 1.5 words
-£ warnings: Angst, rejection, jealousy, I love annabeth, percy being mean? Idk. Anyway kinda short. What can I say, I love a man with dark hair who has sass?🤷♀️
“Do you ever wonder who you’re soulmates is?” percy sat on the log near the cliff looking over the sunset. annabeth keeping her eyes on the forest below, smiling softly as the orange sun hit her skin.
“I’m not worried about it, they will come to me when the time is right.” she replied with a calm voice.
percy could help himself from looking down at her hand and slowly inching his hand near hers. the marking was just late. he knew that she was his soulmate. how could she not be after everything they went through? besides no one knew him like she did.
fate is a funny thing.
because the person who was chosen to be his, and his alone wasn’t the girl he sat next to. it was you. you barely had any contact with percy. never even spiking a word to each other and yet the world still twined you together.
looking back on it he wished he reacted in a nicer way then he did. anything other then what he did, even faint.
he was running a pile of arrows to the archery training ground when he ran into you. as soon as your eyes met the world was slow for just a second and colors shined brighter then they did. in that moment you both felt something that was more then the gods. something even the gods can’t touch.
“woah,” you whisper with your hands still held onto the arrows he was trying to give to you. his hands didn’t stop clinching onto the wood, he couldn’t believe it.
you blink at him for him to do something other then stand there and stare with a open mouth. sure this type of thing wasn’t normal but he didn’t even move a inch.
but you wished he had stayed quiet, “Look, I um..” he let go of the things you two shared and took a step back with hasted.
“I have to run.” you watched him run off like there was nothing important to keep him here.
At first you thought that he was just shy, in shock, and didn’t know what to say. but you soon figured out he wanted nothing to do with you. you followed him around and tried to talk to him at every chance you got but he would always slip from your fingers.
cornering him in the woods at night wasn’t the best idea but you had but there was not other choice. it didn’t feel good to have your soulmate avoid you.
“There is a mistake.” his voice echoed through the woods, “I feel nothing for you. I am sure you are amazing, but you are not my soulmate.”
he watched the tears pool into your eyes like the waves he controlled. taking a step back from the news from his lips that crushed your soul. “I am in love with another.”
Licking your lips you roll your eyes to try and stop the tears forming. “it’s annabeth isn’t it?” he couldn’t deny it even if he wanted to. the silence he gave when he opened his mouth but nothing came out told you everything you needed to know.
“I do hope you live a happy life,” you walked closer to him only inches away, “especially when she finds her soulmate.” you walked past him and down the dirt path back to your cabin where you broke down.
fate was twisted and cruel for giving you him.
day and night you thought about him. and day and night you got worse. everyone could see the toll of being rejected but no one new by who. not a soul knew about you and percy and you honestly liked it that way. no pity glances when they hung out together. 
soulmate depression was a serious thing and could lead one down to a never reversible illness. your eyes lost their light, no one ever saw you smile, looking as dead like as possible. every positive feeling in your body was drained out.
annabeth looked over at you at diner time as you stared at the plate in front of you, sitting at the edge of the bench. “It’s terrible,” she said and picked at her food with a fork. “I hope they come around.”
the trio stared at you in pity, one of them feeling guilt. “It’s a really bad case, I feel so bad.” Grover looked sad as he almost cried himself. love was supposed to be for real, that’s what soulmates were for! If he had one he would never let them get like that.
Percy found himself studying the girl. Her hair messy, her face grime and eyes blank and darker then the last time he looked in them. And Percy was the cause.
“Yeah,” the black hairy boy turned and poked at his food.
It has been week since then and a weight sunk in his stomach when he thought of you, which was almost every moment now. He thought about how you would smile before and how he wanted to see that again. He really thought he liked annabeth but each day that feeling went away.
Maybe he could think things over. But how could he apologize? Would you still want him?
But as Percy thought over the war in his head you moved on. Or as much as you could. there was a sickness in your body but you tried to fight it and spent time with your friends.
one boy took you in quickly. the two of you now glued at the hip and he was the only one who seemed to make you smile now.
“Dude,” Grover knocked his shoulder with his own, “What did he do to you?”
The son of Poseidon darted his eyes lowly at some boy. The way you smiled ever so sweetly like he has been wishing to see for weeks but this- This guy could cause it easily. And those small laughed he could hear so faintly in his ears.
“Nothing.” Percy stated while still glaring at the guy heavily.
the satyr nodded but lingered his eyes on his friend for a few seconds. clearly not believing him one bit.
“I have to tell you something,” he pulled his eyes away from you and to his friend. Guilt covering his face. “You know how y/n got reflected by her soulmate?” his voice shaky.
“Of course, it was hard to watch.” He answered. It didn’t take long for him to connect the dots when Percy lifted his brows as a sign. Grover gasped loudly.
“You did- Oh my god’s. How could you?” His mouth was then covered by Percy as he shh’d him.
Percy took a big breath as he held his hand over his mouth, “I’m not proud of it. It was just, I didn’t feel like we could be. I thought me and annabeth were soulmates until they came along,” he turned his eyes back to your direction to find you laughing slightly with your friends.
“I was terribly wrong.”
As much as Grover was mad at his friend he could see the guilt and regret on his face. He helped him come up with a plan, and gave him a very long lecture about love. Annabeth found out, and cursed him out. Saying that the marks don’t lie and was overly upset he could do that for her.
it took a week of long work for him to build up the courage to finally talk to you.
lucky he knew exactly where you would be. in the same stop he saw you for the first time as his soulmate. In the training grounds. You had been walking back to your cabin looking as beautiful as always even with your gloomy change.
you had a basket in your hand. you hummed quietly and kept your eyes on the dirt path underneath your feet. you were too out of it to hear him walking from behind you. “Y/n.” He called your name.
turning around startled you are met with him smiling at you. the boy who broke your heart standing there with a warm smile on his face as if he didn’t do anything wrong.
“Percy.” You whisper and step back. “I um…Do you need something?” you were shaking almost.
He got closer slowly as he got more awkward by the second, “can we talk?” you were hesitant to expect his offer but you nodded.
“I want to apologize for rejecting you. I felt horrible watching you- Well, get like this.” He kept getting closer and you didn’t know if you should run away or scream at him.
“I was wrong. You are the girl for me.” He saw the tears flood in the corner of your eyes and your lips tremble
“you think that’s enough?” you didn’t yell but he could sense the harsh tone in your voice. And you have that right.
“No, not really.” his frowns. Knowing he needed to do more.
“But I’m willing to work as hard as I need to. If you will have me?”
His green eyes filled with sorrow. the feeling to leave him here, with nothing like he did to you. But you couldn’t. You felt better in his presence as he looked at you.
“I’ll allow it, but we take this slow.” All he could do was smile again and nod his head in understanding.
even if you didn’t trust him. he healed your heart in the matter of seconds.
#percy jackson x you#Percy Jackson x reader#book percy jackson#book Percy#percy jackson imagine#soulmate au#percy jackson x fem!reader
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Post Canon Binghe who is being So Good about managing his Jealousy and Paranoia (so good that he deserves head pats) nevertheless has a tier list in his head of people who he is comfortable leaving Shen Qingqiu alone with
In reverse order:
Bottom Tier:
Liu Qingge for obvious reasons (though he moves up one tier if his disciple is with him)
Sha Hualing. Not her fault she has Exploding Clothes Syndrome but he doesn't want Shizun distracted by it
Liu Mingyan. She's too pretty, Shizun gets too excited to see her, and he's worried Shizun will figure out she's writing the RPF of them and will make her stop
Mid Tier:
Ming Fan. He's a former bully but Shizun finds him kinda annoying and he's usually only with Shizun for sect business
Ning Yingying. She's trustworthy but Shizun dotes on her too much
Mobei Jun but only because Shizun doesn't like being cold. He's far too devoted to his hamster to be a threat
Top Tier:
Mu Qingfang. The doctor is a professional
Shang Qinghua the hamster, like the doctor, seem actually immune to Shizun's charms. Also he's just as obsessed with Mobei as Binghe is with Shizun
Yue Qingyuan. He's devoted to Shen Qingqiu but in a clear "I will support your decisions even if they destroy me emotionally" kinda away that Binghe respects. Also he keeps everything brotherly because that's clearly what Shizun expects and wants
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