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thisisnotkitty · 7 months

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Prompt: Ness and Abby cooking a cake from scratch. Mike walks into the kitchen and sees flour everywhere

i got way too excited about this prompt and kinda went off the rails lmao. here's 2.3k of ness and abby (trying) to bake a cake for mike!

you can also read it on ao3

When Mike steps into the house and hears excited giggling and shrieking coming from the kitchen, his first thought is oh no.

He’d just come back from work and had left Ness to babysit Abby. The waiter had been babysitting her even before Mike and him officially got together. He offered his services when Mike off-handedly mentioned needing someone to look after Abby once at the diner and ever since then, if his schedule allows it and Vanessa is on duty, Ness comes over to the Schmidt household to keep an eye out on the 10 year old while Mike is away.

They got along great, which was definitely a positive in Mike’s book, and Abby always looks so excited when he tells her Ness is going to look after her. She had loved Ness since the first time he’d been their waiter at Sparky’s diner and he drew a smiley face in whip cream on her chocolate chip pancakes.

Ness had sold his babysitting skills as being attributed to his love for kids and claiming that he’s great with them, though Mike would say that’s less due to the fact that he’s responsible around them and more due to the fact that Ness thinks like a kid himself a little too much and is always willing to indulge Abby in whatever her imagination comes up with. He may be a little immature but never in a way that endangers Abby so Mike never really tells him off for it (and definitely not because he finds it a bit endearing).

Though that might have to change when he steps into the kitchen to what can only truly be described as a crime scene.

Pots and pans Mike didn’t even know they had are stacked high on the kitchen table, there’s egg running down the refrigerator door, and some slimy looking dough is dripping from the ceiling.

Amidst the chaos are Ness and Abby, covered in the same flour that’s all over the counters and floor. Ness is holding a bowl while Abby wields a bag of the offending flour from where she had been shaking it into the bowl.

They both stopped what they were doing as they heard Mike walk in and stared at him like deer caught in headlights.

“Heyyy Mik-” started the (supposed) babysitter before being cut off by a puff of flour directly in his face.

It seems that Abby hadn’t realized she’d still been holding the bag of flour at an angle and a rather large clump of it had been steadily making it’s way out of the bag. When it finally tipped over, it landed onto the flour that had already been in the bowl, resulting in a large cloud that went straight into Ness’s face.

“Agh!” he yelled, bringing his hands up to his eyes in an attempt to stop the burning as flour had gotten into them. Except this meant that the flour bowl he had been holding was forgotten about and promptly dropped to the floor; which then startled Abby enough to make her drop the bag of flour she had been holding.

It had only taken 30 (very chaotic) seconds since Mike had stepped through the door to have all three of them covered in flour. (Well, for Ness and Abby to be covered in more flour.)

Mike takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second. When he opens them the kitchen is still in chaos but being a big brother comes with a wealth of patience and resilience to these types of situations.

He gives Abby a quick once over and when he sees she’s okay, just covered in white and seemingly wary of Mike’s reaction, sends a small smile her way, letting her know he wasn’t mad. He ruffles her hair as he makes his way over to Ness who is desperately trying to rub the flour out of his eyes.

“Here, you’re making it worse, let me help,” Mike says, gently taking one of Ness’s hands in his and using the other to brush some of the flour off his partner’s face. He has to stand up on his toes to properly reach but when enough of the flour has been cleared Ness gives him a pout and the biggest puppy dog eyes known to man.

And Mike is not weak. He’s fought an evil murderer in a bunny suit before. Heck, his workplace is quite literally haunted by the ghosts of dead children. No, Mike is not weak by any means, but something about the brown orbs staring back at him leaves him a little defenseless.

With a sigh, he surges up to press a kiss against his boyfriend's (boyfriend’s!) jaw and it’s definitely because Abby is there and not because that’s as far as he can reach. He gives Ness a small smile before pulling away.

He looks around, assessing the damage to the kitchen before turning back to the two perpetrators who are sullenly looking at the floor as if awaiting to be reprimanded.

“Hey,” he says softly, catching their attention. “Here’s what we’re gonna do-”

“We just wanted to bake you a cake!” Abby cries out, eyes brimming with tears. Ness immediately notices and turns back to Mike with urgency.

“Look, it was my idea, I’m the one in charge so if anything you should be mad at me! And I’ll- I’ll clean up the kitchen so don’t even worry about that, okay? I promise I’ll do anything to make it up to y-”

For the second time that night, Ness is interrupted by a small puff of flour to the face, standing in shock as Mike shakes the flour off from his hands. “Let me finish talking, yeah?”

Abby and Ness immediately quiet down and he hears a small sniffle from his sister.

“I’m not mad,” he begins, choosing his words carefully and keeping his tone soft. “I’m just a bit tired from work, but I appreciate you guys trying to bake a cake for me. That’s very sweet of you. Once we get this cleaned up, we can go buy a cake. How does that sound?”

He receives identical small nods in response, causing him to roll his eyes. “Alright, c’mere”, he says, opening up his arms.

Immediately he has a handful of his two favorite people and, despite being significantly shorter than one of them, they both curl up in his chest as he wraps his arms around them as tight as he can.

“You know, I thought I’d left Abby with a babysitter, not another kid to play with”, he jokes after a few seconds of the hug. Ness pulls away with a pout, while Abby giggles, wiping away her tears. Ness catches this and exaggerates his pout comically, making Abby laugh even harder. She suddenly stops and looks at Mike again.

“You sure you’re not mad?” she asks quietly.

Mike lowers down to her level and puts his hands on her shoulders. “I promise,” he says, looking into her eyes so she can see he’s being truthful.

Seemingly satisfied with that answer, she steps back with a small smile and looks around as if properly seeing the mess for the first time.

When Mike catches Ness doing the same, he figures they should get to work.

“Alright, first let’s get you guys cleaned up”

They cram into the small bathroom and Mike helps Abby get the flour out of her hair while Ness cleans up his face. He instructs them to begin sweeping up the floor and tells him that he’ll meet them in the kitchen in a minute. The two troublemakers walk off, chattering about what they can do better the next time they bake a cake. (Mike makes a note to worry about that later.)

He takes a minute to collect himself and to prepare for the chaos ahead, quickly splashing some water on his face before making his way back to the kitchen. At least they didn’t burn down the house, he thinks as he steps through the door frame just in time to hear-

“Do you smell something burning?” from Abby.

She quickly looks over to Ness, who had turned to her as well, and they seemingly remember something at the same time. Immediately dropping what they were doing, they scramble towards the oven. Ness hurriedly puts on the oven mitt and, once he makes sure Abby is out of the way, opens the oven door.

There’s not a lot of smoke, luckily. Mike makes his way over to make some room on the stove and when Ness sets it down, the cake doesn’t seem to be too burnt. This seems to greatly excite the amateur bakers, meanwhile Mike wonders how Ness, as a seemingly competent adult, forgot there was a whole cake in the oven and-

“Why were you guys making two cakes?”

He turns to face them but catches a glimpse of the kitchen which still looks like a hot mess. Right, he thinks, priorities. “Actually, let’s clean up first and then you can tell me all about what you guys did while I was gone.”

As they clean, they explain that the first one had been a trial run, but they knew Mike would be home soon so they figured they might as well get started on the second one. He listens as Abby tells him something about coffee being a … soup? (“It’s just a theory,” Ness chimes in and yeah that makes more sense.)

Between the three of them, they quickly leave the kitchen as good as it can be. There’s still a bit of dough on the ceiling - how did that even get there? - but it’s not like anyone’s going to be looking up. Mike sends Abby to get changed and is surprised when Ness grabs his hand as soon as she’s gone.

There’s a childish grin on his face as he leads Mike to the dining table and it’s so bright Mike almost feels like he should squint a little.

Ness dramatically pulls out a chair and excitedly gestures for Mike to “sit, sit!” and who is Mike to deny him? He tries his best to look exasperated but he knows Ness can see the smile tugging at his lips.

He feels a kiss pressed to his forehead and look’s into his boyfriend’s (boyfriend’s!) sparkling eyes and lets the smile take over his features.

“Wait right here!” says Ness, and he takes off into the kitchen again. Mike obediently waits like a good boyfriend (boyfriend!) and listens curiously as Ness stumbles around the kitchen.

They haven’t been dating for very long, but the thought of Ness in his kitchen - in his home - baking a cake with his little sister as they wait for Mike to get home feels so domestic, it leaves a sense of longing in his heart for a dream he can see so clearly.

He comes back to himself just as Ness sets down a plate with … something on it in front of him. Abby comes back at that time too and excitedly makes her way over.

“Is Mike trying the cake?”

Oh, that’s what it’s supposed to be. Ness seems to be as bad with a knife as he is at baking because the cake slice on Mike’s plate is so misshapen that it can hardly even be called a “slice”. It’s burnt at the top, a bit more than he had originally thought it was, but the middle seems almost gooey. (Mike really hopes that’s by design.)

All in all, it looks pretty unappetizing. Mike grabs the spoon that Ness is offering to him and is prepared to make some excuse of having real food first when he looks up to a pair of matching puppy dog eyes.

Again, Mike is not weak, but it’d be downright cruel to not at least take a bite.

He digs his spoon in, making sure to get a bit of everything as if the burnt top will counteract the under cooked middle. He takes a bite and-

First off all, the burnt parts do not counteract the under cooked ones, he can say that much. Now there’s just two distinct textures in his mouth that are not at all pleasant. There’s also so much burnt that it really overpowers any other flavor there could’ve been, but if he focuses really hard Mike’s pretty sure he can taste a hint of … carrot? He forces himself to chew and is desperately trying to think of anything nice he can say about the cake when he makes the mistake of looking up.

Ness is grinning from ear to ear, although that’s pretty much his natural expression. He’s bouncing on his feet a bit, waiting in anticipation.

Then there’s Abby. His little sister, who he loves so dearly, is also bouncing on her feet, looking incredibly proud of her monstrous creation. Even though they’ve been healing slowly but surely, their lives have been hard. Abby is a resilient kid but Mike always wishes he could do more for her, be a little less rough around the edges.

His eyes drift back to Ness who is nearly a mirror image of Abby despite being a foot taller and over twice her age and he’s so grateful to have him around in that moment. He knows he gives Ness a hard time about being like a child but he knows when to be a responsible adult and Mike knows he’d never put Abby in any real danger.

He looks at his sister again and gives her a genuine smile as he swallows the cake and wow, he had been so lost in his thoughts he’d nearly forgotten what the creation tasted like.

Still, his next words are genuine and worth it to see the megawatt smiles grow.

“I think I’d enjoy anything made by you two”

Abby and Ness rejoice in excitement, whopping and clapping. Ness even picks Abby up, spinning her around. Mike takes another bite and something about the giggling and shrieking in the background makes it taste even better.

please send me more prompts or headcanons i am literally begging for any content of these two

#can you tell i have so much brainrot #they've literally been on my mind since i woke up this morning #securitywaiter #mike x ness #mike schmidt #ness the waiter #fnaf ness #abby schmidt #fnaf #fnaf movie #kitty tries to write; keyword tries

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ultrabananapudding · 1 year

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// Long rant (transphobia)

Coming in here hot bc I need to get this off my chest before I explode lmao

Just watched a YouTube video detailing the Failure of the the Fantastic Beast Franchise and up until the last segment I thought the dude made some solid observations which made it an enjoyable listen

It's not until he starts speaking about the Harry Potter author herself that my positive impression of this channel kinda crumbled.

The moment he said "everything is so political nowadays" I knew immediately where the conversation was heading.

Unless you actually know what insane shit she has been saying, the dude was so god damn vague about the exact statements she has made that if you didn't know any better it would seem like the "hate" she gets is unwarranted.

He brings up how the boycott of the recent wizard game was a failure and is "sad how no one can have an opinion anymore" and I'm like huh ????

Not ONCE does he bring up the word "transphobic" but only relies on calling the things she had said "opinions".

His language was so deceptive and frankly cowardly so he could manage to stay "neutral" in a way of which his audience would praise and applaud him for.

Let's not take into account of how her "opinions" are advocating for actual death of a group of people.

And to act as if people who are rightfully upset over the continuous support of a women who funds for such hateful groups as just the biproduct of cancel culture is insane to me.

Ofc the only comment below the video which brings up how the dude kept downplaying her hatred towards Trans ppl as just her "opinions" got the response of "imagine getting cancelled for believing in biology".

Really God damn annoyed i tell you, and as much as I want to leave a comment detailing my frustration under the video I have a feeling I will get dogpiled by absolute imbeciles so Imma just let it out all here

Already got that channel off my radar and now with this rant I feel a bit better which is nice.

Film bros content on YouTube walks on such a fine line of having actually constructive criticism while still being empathetic and then there are the ones who disguise their hatred for today's sociopolitical climate as constructive criticism.

#woke bad lol #The amount of videos that keep targeting movies with a diverse cast is just insane to me #I love watching movie contents and such but I hate how the trending videos always has to do with #I tried avoiding certain keywords in my rant as I don't want this to be too widespread #Just me and my virtual diary #Hope to whoever got this far to have a good day #rant #vent #personal #captains log

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