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ivyinne · 25 days

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I've been thinking about this theory about Riko orchestrating Jean's sexual abuse as punishment for his attraction to Kevin, because Riko is not in the habit of sharing his possessions. And while at first glance it would seem that Riko does this because it's Kevin... looking deeper I get the feeling that his attitude extends to the rest of the Perfect Court too.

Consider Andrew.

Riko sets first Drake and then Proust on Andrew, and the implication is that Andrew cannot get away with "taking Riko's things." This obviously refers to Kevin, but I don't think it refers to Kevin alone. It's significant that Riko brings it up with Neil and Neil only, and it happens during this specific conversation.

Riko uses Andrew to taunt and intimidate Neil, immediately after Neil implies that Riko is not the only thing saving him from his father. We come to understand several things in the course of this conversation:

That Riko considers Andrew to be responsible for Neil's continued refusal to return to his place among the Ravens.

That he believes threatening Andrew's safety will be enough to convince Neil to come to Evermore.

Which means that Riko obviously has an inkling of what Andrew and Neil mean to each other (even if Neil does not yet). He weaponizes this knowledge against both of them, and while Neil ends up going to Evermore, it does not mean that Riko lets Andrew get away.

That's because he never intended to. When Riko refers to Andrew as the miniature one with the disgusting attitude who thinks he can take my things, his "things" refer not merely to Kevin but, to a heavy extent, also to Neil, and he punishes Andrew for his closeness to Neil the same way he punished Jean's closeness to Kevin.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, quite simply put, it's all because of the as-yet unexplained January incident that Jean brings up in The Sunshine Court.

We know that following Neil's departure from the Nest, Zane betrayed Jean by setting Grayson on him. What we don't know is what Riko did to Zane and Grayson afterwards, or why.

Jean brings it up several times, but only refers to it obliquely, and doesn't give us any details:

I don't think Riko cares about what happened to Jean, of course not. But it makes too much sense to me that he decided what Zane and Grayson did was an insult to him, Riko, because how dare they touch his property when he hasn't permitted it? How dare they take his things? How dare Grayson pretend he has some sort of claim to Jean?

I'm throwing this theory out because I have nothing to lose: whatever Riko did to Zane and Grayson was in retaliation to what they did to Jean, but not because Riko cares. He did so only because Jean was another one of Riko's things, and those who take his things away must be reminded of their place.

So, yes, I think all of this is an extension of the fact that Riko has an unhealthy obsession with the people he considers to be his pets or his property. Transgressions against his claim over them deserve to be punished for the insult.

Even if those transgressions are committed by the Perfect Court itself. Riko plays the part of the jealously possessive master, the one they should all devote themselves to, the only one with authority over them. No one else can have them — which means they cannot have each other either.

#aftg #all for the game #the sunshine court #neil josten #jean moreau #andrew minyard #kevin day #riko moriyama #andreil #tsc #tfc #the foxhole court #disclaimer: im fully prepared to be proven wrong by book 2 but until then you can pry this theory out of my cold dead hands

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scarletfish · 6 months

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microdosing on posting snippets from my raven!neil fic here because nanowrimo is killing me dead 🙃

Fic summary:

Nathaniel has grown up knowing he has two options upon turning 18: stay at Evermore and play for the Ravens through college, or allow the Hatfords to pay off his debts and claim him as one of their own. Nathaniel isn’t interested in leaving Exy (or Jean) for the faceless evil that sent his mom running to the Butcher of Baltimore.

But then Kevin’s stunt with the Foxes upends Nathaniel's world, and a third option opens up.

***

cw: canon-typical violence, references to and brief discussions of abuse/torture (but nothing on-screen)

outtake is from chapter 1, enjoy!

word count: 827

***

November

“Get him out of here,” Nathaniel snarls.

“Nice to see you too, Wesninski.”

Kevin is predictable to a fault and easy to corner after evening drills. The extra, invitation-only practice comprises a smaller group of upperclassmen, and Kevin insists on being the last to leave the court. Nathaniel planted himself on a storage cabinet just out of sight for the rare privilege of seeing Kevin flinch when he rounded the corner.

Fresh from the showers, he has a towel draped around his shoulders. His wet hair is already combed perfectly into place, tattoo gleaming against his flushed cheeks. He does not look happy to see Nathaniel.

He can get over himself – Nathaniel has worked himself into a burning rage while waiting, and he’s ready to light something on fire.

“Do we have to do this right now?” Kevin asks tiredly, dropping his soggy towel on Nathaniel’s sneakers and turning to rummage in his locker.

Nathaniel kicks the towel at Kevin’s back and slams a fist into the nearest locker – a poor substitute for Kevin’s face. “Riko is out of control,” he says fiercely. “Jean is sobbing on the floor of our bathroom because he tried to turn the shower on. Is there a more convenient time that you’d like to pencil this conversation in?”

Kevin turns and catches the towel, leveling Nathaniel with a hard, weary look. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about that. Tell him to take a sponge bath. We’re all just trying to survive the year.” He reaches neatly around Nathaniel to access the laundry chute, withdrawing quickly before Nathaniel can do something feral like bite off a finger.

The only thing that stops Nathaniel from trying is the shifty look in Kevin’s eyes and the way his shoulder jumps up in a half-aborted shrug. He’s hiding something.

“Bullshit. Tell me what’s going on, Kev. Something happened between you and Riko in Atlanta. He’s been escalating ever since, and I can’t– I can’t protect us if I don’t know what it is. Did you say something to him?" Kevin is so tense he looks like he's going to explode, which means if Nathaniel pushes just a bit harder... "Piss in his cereal? Jostle the stick up his–”

“I put my ego above my loyalties,” Kevin says. A shudder runs through him at the admission. “I am his partner and his– his second, and I have betrayed that trust.”

Nathaniel, who was not expecting to get an answer that easily, if at all, stares blankly. What the hell is he talking about?

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I– the drills we’ve been practicing with the team–,” Kevin mutters, as if even he is still trying and failing to piece together the full picture of Riko’s fury, “I guess I picked them up faster, or… I’ve been speaking too much in team meetings, stepping out of line…” he stumbles around the truth at the center of his words like it might burn him.

“Hang on– are you telling me this is about, what, your stats? He’s mad that you’re outperforming him in practice?”

Nathaniel tries to reconcile the uncertain boy in front of him with the man who scored from center court and then chewed out the son of a hedge fund manager until he cried for not being three feet to the left to receive a pass. “Jesus, just take a few nights off, or– or take this shit to Tetsuji, I’m sure he’d love to hear how his nephew is dragging the team down with him for his pride. Why are you just sitting on this?”

Kevin is done explaining though. When he speaks, his voice is steel, and the glint in his eyes puts a pit in Nathaniel’s stomach.

“It is after curfew and Jean is waiting. Go back to your room, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel’s jaw tightens. “You aren’t just sitting on this, are you? You have a plan.”

Of course he would decide to stand his ground now. Where was this conviction when Riko started spiking their food? When he broke Jean’s fingers, or carved into Nathaniel’s skin for the first time? He’s spent nearly a decade wishing Kevin would grow a spine – now he’s ready to snap it in half.

“I’m through bleeding for you, watching Jean bleed for you,” he threatens, pushing off the counter and taking a step toward Kevin, voice rising. “You promised me more than this. You owe me.”

Kevin makes an irritated shushing noise. “Be quiet. This is not–” he glances impatiently at the clock above the door, “Do not ask this of me right now.”

“Fuck you, I’m asking,” Nathaniel snaps, not bothering to lower his voice. They have bigger problems than getting caught breaking curfew.

“Shut up,” Kevin hisses, jerking a hand towards Nathaniel’s mouth. He freezes awkwardly just before making contact, dropping his gaze briefly to the lingering bruises on Nathaniel’s throat, the pink scars curving up from his shoulder blades to poke out his shirt collar. “Do you have a death wish?” he asks stiffly.

“Yes,” Nathaniel says coldly, “I wish you were dead.” He stares until Kevin drops his hand.

***

(oh, the angst. to be clear I love Kevin dearly. if i missed any cws above, please let me know!)

#aftg fic #raven!neil #andreil #the foxhole court #sav writes #nnwm23 #the devil you know #tdyk #kevin day #neil josten #nathaniel wesninski #working title is 'the devil you know' so that's what i'll tag these bits!

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muscatos · 1 year

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A Comparison: Edgar Allen Poe's and his works to All for the Game

This is a dramatic and unnecessary comparison, one that I'm not entirely certain Nora did purposefully (though I remain hopeful), but nevertheless we have come to a conclusion.

An initial first look would instantly have me foaming at the mouth to mention that Edgar Allen Poe and Neil Josten (read - Nathaniel Wesninski) have the same birthday, alluding to the idea that Nathaniel had been and would always be intrinsically tied to Edgar Allen University, Riko, and the Ravens until Nathaniel is officially buried in baltimore and Neil is born legally in the FBI database and assuming a new birthday that is entirely his own, therefor cutting ties once and for all with Edgar Allen University and the trauma that it holds, in relation to both Riko and his Father. This is semi ironic as while Nathaniel died in baltimore and rose again as Neil ( “leave Nathaniel buried in baltimore” Andrew said,) Edgar Allen Poe also died in the same city under ‘mysterious circumstances,’ of which is where I like to think that Nora got her location inspiration, (both that and Baltimore having one of the highest rates of corrupt law enforcement, but that's neither here nor there.) These links only continue as Poe watched his mother die before living and being educated in numerous places around the US, England, and France, of which similarly seems to mirror Neil’s own childhood.

Edgar Allen Poe wrote his infamous ‘The Raven’ while in West Virginia, likely being the reason that Edgar Allen university is located there in All For The Game and the decision for the exy team to be titled The Ravens as a result, a particular point of interest as the contents of the ‘The Raven’ represent the madness someone descends into once their love is lost; this mimics the relationship between Riko and Kevin, with the formers sanity spiralling from his control once Kevin is lost, (with it also notable to point out that Riko and Kevin were originally written to be lovers, furthering this mirroring to the poem.) The symbolism for the Ravens represent a ‘bird of ill omen’ and seem to foreshadow the downfall of Poe's character as he was surrounded by them, as well as Rikos’ by being in the nest, with Poe also stating that the character is “distorted by his obsessive attachment.” Both Jean and Kevin escaping these ravens and having a promising ending reinforces this intention by Nora.

The idea of these Ravens that Poe writes about seem to also mirror Neil’s relationship to the nest, with the ravens in the poem coming to “Bellow for Revenge” on a “Drear-Nighted December.” A startling similarity to Riko forcing Neil to go to the nest over Christmas. The Nest being entirely painted black seems to also reference Poe’s poem in which the speaker enters the door into “darkness there and nothing more,” such as Neil would have done upon entering the Nest at the beginning of December, once again referenced almost directly as Jean tells Neil to look at the sky one final time as he wouldn’t see it again throughout Christmas.

This choice of a raven, in all, is chosen by Poe and seemingly Nora to symbolically represent the personification of death and the Narrator's impending fate, in this case being Neil’s knowledge that he will die by the hands of his father.

Edgar Allen Poe also coined the terms Evermore and Nevermore, with Evermore meaning that loss will always be apart of life, fitting as the characters in All For The Game all seem to go the Castle Evermore upon losing somebody and therefor unable to grieve, such as Jean losing his Family, Kevin loosing his mother, and even Riko losing his birth family, with only Kevin and Jean able to overcome that grief once leaving the Castle Evermore. Nevermore, however, means that one can never hold onto what they have, with the Narrator of Poe’s poem chanting the word once succumbing to madness from the loss of his partner, implicating the idea in All For The Game that no matter the circumstances, Riko never would have managed to keep Kevin in the long run, always ensuing the same fate.

I’m sure that there are mountains more connections that I’m yet to explore, with vague links to addiction regarding Andrew that even I know is a stretch at best, yet I see so little people talking about the random horrifying literature references sprinkled throughout the series that I had to do it myself. Sue me.

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kindaorangey · 1 month

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sorry hi i love your jean collecting homoerotic friends art but just wanted to say, wasnt the 'another pretty face' aimed towards kevin? i interpretted it that way since jean has shown a liking towards kevin but not really towards neil yk? love your art!

nah, even though he's talking to kevin just before he thinks that, they're talking about neil's confontation with ichirou and jean is freaking out over how "a pretty face had fucked him over yet again." like, you could probably stretch it to mean that jean is angry at kevin for not controlling neil more, in which case it would be kevin who's fucked him over and kevin he's referring to, but i think it makes more sense for it to be neil. of course, when he says, "yet again," he's implicitly referring to how kevin fucked him over in the past by leaving (and also how renee fucked him over by taking him from evermore). but, yeah, it's neil he's referring to as a "pretty face".

#asks #anonymous #thank you btw!!#aftg

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thisisnotourlasthunt · 3 years

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Andrew Showing The Foxes His Love Through Actions.

All through “All for the game” we can see how Andrew shows his love through actions. I believe that Andrew does care for his teammates and I know I; m not the only one, so I wrote this. (Also, I will just forget about the choking scene because N*ra did their relationship so badly, like- ugh, that’s for another time)

Tw: Curse words, references to the foxes pasts, punches, vomit, Riko, mentions of scars, mentions of nightmares, mentions of panic attacks, mentions of past self-harm, probably many spelling and grammar mistakes.

Allison.

It happened during a game, the foxes were winning and the other team were getting exasperated because they could not get past the backliners and if they could, Andrew would not let them score.

During the last minutes of the game, a player from the other team made Allison trip on purpose and “accidentally” kicked her.

Everyone else were too far away from them.

Except Andrew.

When the referee called the fault, Andrew was already there, punching the guy resulting in him taking a step back and falling to the ground.

As the referee gave him a yellow card, Andrew extended his arm to help Allison up.

And if he asked Renee how bad the injury was, no one had to know.

Matt.

When Matt was visiting his mom during summer vacations, they decided to go shopping, there he found the most adorable hoodies. It was orange on the outside and the inside had a really soft and warm fabric, which was white and had orange paw prints. But the best part was that the hoodie had fox ears.

Matt obviously bought nine of them.

“Disgusting.” Andrew had said, which Matt had obviously expected, so he thought nothing of it.

Everyone wore them, Aaron had given his to Katelyn, except Andrew.

But when winter came, Matt saw Andrew get out of his dorm room with the hoodie on, pulling it tighter against himself when a cold air blast came.

“Not a word.” Andrew deadpanned, pointing at Matt, when he noticed him, before leaving the tower.

Matt smiled the whole day.

Dan.

During one of their dinner bankets, the foxes were placed into pairs and told to socialize with the other teams. The pairs were meticulously design so that ‘the monsters’ (minus Nicky) interacted. This meant every ‘monster’ was placed with an upperclassmen. Andrew got Dan.

So when they Dan were talking to some players from Penn State, the Ravens decided to join.

They began talking sh¡t about Dan’s time as a stripper.

Andrew didn’t say or do a thing, knowing Dan was capable on fighting her own fights, she is the first female captain on Exy, but he does stand to the side, throwing a death glare to them.

But when one of them decide it’s a good idea to slap her in the butt when she is distracted....Andrew intervienes.

He grabs the Raven’s wrist, twisting it before pushing him into a table.

Dan is surprised, to say the least, but she knows that the Raven will get a worst fate if she leaves Andrew like that.

Calmly, she tells him she is okay and that the Raven didn’t touch her and that he can look and see for himself.

The latter does the trick, Andrew turns his murderous glare at Dan so she turns in place extending her arms showing him that the Raven did nothing to her.

Andrew calms after a while and stands up, glancing at the Raven one more time.

The rest of the night Andrew does not leave Dan’s side until they head back home. Dan attaches herself to that memory forever.

Renee.

Renee and Andrew sparred at least once a week, more whenever Andrew was having a bad day.

Such as that moment, Aaron’s trial was just around the corner and Andrew was not having it.

He went to Bee’s twice but it still wasn’t enough, so him and Renee spared.

But today was a specially not good day, Aaron’s lawyer had said that he’d have to speak about what happened that day.

Renee knew that Andrew was far more on his head than n the present so she wasn’t mad when Andrew threw her down to the mat and her hip bumped onto the floor.

For the first time since they spared that day, Renee saw Andrew actually see her.

His eyes were wide, probably surprised of what happened so she reassured him that she was okay and that it didn't hurt much and that she’d had much worse before.

But he didn’t listen to her and got off the mat.

Renee stood up and went for her water bottle, thinking that Andrew had gone to let out some steam alone.

But then he came back with an ice package in hand and gave it to her.

Renee thank him, placed it on her hip and sat near him while he starred to the distance in moral support.

Nicky.

Nicky wasn’t one to get sick often, but when it happened, he really got sick.

So when one day he wakes up with a headache and all of his bones ache, he knows he’s in trouble.

Not wanting anyone to be worried about him, Nicky tries to stand up, just for a blast of nausea hits him and he has to run to the bathroom before he pukes on their bedroom.

When he is done throwing his guts out, he brushes his teeth and walks out to the kitchen for a glass of water. But when he gets there, a water bottle is out with a bottle of Pepto-bismol beside it.

In the middle of his confusion, Andrew and Aaron appear with a thermometer, a blanket and pills.

“Go lay down,” Andrew says with an uncharacteristically softness in his tone.

Nicky complies and walks towards the couch, Andrew protectively trailing behind him with his phone and a blanket.

“I don’t have any class today, Aaron has two in an hour but then he’ll be back. Tea?” Nicky is perplexed at this attention given by his cousins so he is only able to nod and think who were these people and what did they do with his cousins.

The rest of the day, the twins (mostly Andrew) take his temperature, give him his meds, cook for him and help him out whenever he needs it.

Nicky sleeps with a smile that day.

The next day, he feels much better, but because the sickness messed with his feelings, he has an urge to hug his cousins.

He asks for permission and surprisingly, Andrew says yes.

Nicky keeps the hug fast and makes sure he doesn’t make Andrew feel trapped.

He still cries at the memory.

Aaron.

Out of all the foxes, Aaron is the one with the most difficult things to study. He is in fact studying pre-med.

So during the finals week, he is the most stressed.

There is this one class in which Aaron has been having the most trouble with and if he doesn’t pass the test, he’ll have to repeat the class. So to say that he was stressed was an understatement.

He begins studying for that class a week and a half before the exam is and the day before the exam, he skips gym, morning practice and afternoon practice.

He studies for the exam the whole day and had to be reminded to take breaks for the bathroom and meals constantly.

He is also forced by Andrew to sleep when he woke up at 3 am and Aaron was still awake, studying.

Aaron keeps thinking of the material as he tries to sleep, and isn’t able to until 4 am, he dreams on the material the whole night.

When he opens his eyes, he sees that the sun is much higher than usual, worried, he checks the time on his phone just for his fears to be true, his alarm didn’t sound and he slept through the whole exam.

He doesn’t even care to change and runs to the building. The door to his classroom is closed and the professor is not there.

“Can’t stop thinking about the exam? Me neither.” He hears one of his classmates say behind him.

“I didn’t even do it.” He says through his teeth.

“What do you mean? I saw you there.”

Aaron is confused so he asks more classmates if they saw him, and all of them said that yes, they saw him there.

Hurriedly he got to the tower and confronted Andrew if it was his doing and if he did the exam for him like they did in high school.

“I did.” was Andrew’s only response before walking out.

Aaron got a B⁺ a grade much better than if he had done it by himself.

Kevin.

After Riko died, his and Andrew’s deal could be done, but they had grown close, they had passed so much time together since Kevin escaped Evermore.

Neither of them would say it out loud, but they were each other’s best friend.

So when Kevin learned that his things would be thrown away from the Nest, he went into a spiral.

But when Andrew asked and Kevin couldn’t say why, Andrew made it his mission to know.

Neil had a few assumptions, but when he had been at the Nest, he had been too focused on his injuries that he wasn’t a good resource.

So Andrew contacted someone he never thought he would be speaking to. Jean.

Jean told Andrew of Kevin’s old bedroom and the things Kevin had to hide away from Riko because if he found them, Kevin would be punished. Yet he didn’t know what these secret things were.

Thankfully, Jean knew where the hiding spot was.

The next day, Andrew took the Maserati in the early morning without a word (Neil knew but he had to act as if he didn’t), and made his way to Evermore.

Once there, he had to sneak inside, but given that the Nest was desolated for classes it was easy.

When Andrew got to where Jean had told him where the hiding spot was, he found a small shoe box.

Opening it, he found three things and Andrew immediately understood Kevin’s spiraling.

When he got back to the tower, he directly went to his dorm. Inside were Neil, Nicky and Kevin watching a game.

Andrew signaled Neil and the latter made Nicky follow him out.

“Where were you? You missed morning practice,” Kevin said as soon as they were alone.

Without a word, Andrew took the shoebox out of his bag and carefully gave it to Kevin, who took a shaky breath at the sight of it.

As soon as it was in Kevin’s hands, he opened it and carefully took the three things which were the last things he had from his mother.

A woman’s ring, a record player and a photograph.

Tears immediately sprang from Kevin’s eyes and Andrew decided he would give Kevin his space.

“Thank you,” Kevin said as he opened the door, Andrew just nodded feeling a weird warmness in his chest.

Neil.

Andrew shows Neil his love in so many ways, helping him out during panic attacks, reminding him that he’s safe, holding his hand, kissing him, sharing a cigarette in the roof, stroking his hair when they cuddle and so much more.

But the most important thing Andrew does for Neil is letting the latter see his vulnerability and trust him with it.

It starts with simple things, Andrew letting Neil sleep with him in the same bed, cuddle together, sit on Andrew’s lap (and vice versa), etc.

But it slowly begins to increase, let Neil stay whenever he gets a nightmare and/or a panic attack, let Neil take care of him when he gets sick, let Neil cuddle on top of Andrew, let himself seek comfort in Neil, Andrew letting Neil take his armbands off, see and touch them.

It takes a long time, but Neil doesn’t mind, those little things are more than enough for him and he doesn’t expect more from Andrew, but welcomes this little things and holds onto them with all of him.

Bonus:

Wymack.

Wymack is always threatening his foxes with running marathons and says that their personal stuff is over his pay rate, but oh doesn’t he care for them.

He works hard for them so they can have good things and safe and comfortable area for them, that’s why he had the walls on the showers made.

He loves the foxes, and they love them too.

One morning, he had to organize some piles of paperwork, but he had a stressing week and the night before he hadn’t been able to sleep good, so after a while of organizing paperwork, he decides he deserves a break.

The foxes are supposed to be in class so he doesn’t expect them until the afternoon. He goes to the lounge and lays down on the couch to “rest his eyes”.

He falls asleep almost instantly.

Andrew had forgotten something on the court after their morning practice so he decided to go now, he had finished his classes and knew that Wymack had to organize some paperwork, he was surprised to see the old man asleep.

Andrew could remember his initial fear of the man when he saw him the first time, he was tall, broad and serious, but he didn’t let it show. He had been waiting for the man to do something to him, but instead the man had respected his boundaries and didn’t ask when Andrew broke into his home in the late night and made himself a pot of hot cocoa (which had been bought for this reason).

So quietly, Andrew went to Wymack’s office and organized his paperwork, marking those who were missing one or two things with a post it and leaving right after he was done, not expecting the man to know it was him.

When Wymack woke up and walked back to his office he was surprised to see that his paperwork was organized. He mentally questioned who it was but when he read the post its he immediately knew it was Andrew, he knew all of his children’s handwritings, and made sure he bought Andrew’s favorite chocolate ice cream.

Abby.

Abby was the first one, apart from Bee, to see his scars.

The first time she had tried to say something but she had seen something in his face because he didn’t and let him place the armbands back on.

After that she looked away when he took them off and just glanced at them for a second to make sure there were no track marks before turning around again so he could put the armbands back on.

(She knew there would not be track marks, so she just looked at them so there would be no new ones, he cared for her foxes.)

And during the physical exam, she made sure not to touch him more than necessary.

Abby checks on Bee asking if he’s okay, she never expects an in depth answer, just a confirmation and she feels relief when Bee tells her that he is getting better.

On one of his sessions with Bee, she suggests Andrew that he should tell someone about his scars, preferably someone who has already seen them.

Andrew knows what Bee is trying and Bee knows that Andrew knows and Andrew knows Bee knows that Andrew knows.

In the end, he does tell Abby. He keeps it vague and watches her reaction, waiting for a small expression change, but thankfully Abby just listens, and shows no pity, knowing that Andrew would hate it and does not comment.

When he’s done, she just nods and thanks him for telling her and when Andrew leaves, Abby lets the tears she had retained out.

She keeps the truth guarded with her life, glad Andrew trust her enough to say this.

Bee.

It is not a secret that Andrew sees Bee like his mother figure, out of all the woman in his life she was the only one that he didn’t feel the need to be unlike himself, she loved him just the way he was.

It was scary at first, his mind supplied that it would be just like Cass, he just had to wait for the other shoe to come down.

It never did.

So he found himself driving to her office when he needed to understand something or he was just not in a good mental place.

He would also call her when he didn’t have the energy to move.

She was on one of his sides during Aarons trial, helping him keep his cool when he felt like he needed to punch something.

When it had been his turn to say his testimony, he had looked at her and Neil, remembering that they would be with him and that they would show no pity to him.

So the day before Mother’s day, when him and Neil were shopping for clothes, and he saw a coffee mug in the shape of a bee hive that read “To the Bee-st mom” he had to buy it.

The next day he arrives to her office and leaves the cup before leaving without a word.

It fills Bee’s heart when she reads it but knows best than to comment of it on their next session.

But if she uses it everyday and it becomes her favorite mug, no one has to know.

Look at me posting three days in a row, I’m proud of myself ngl. Anyways, have this, hope you like it, I tried my best and this is honestly the longest “headcanon” I’ve ever written.

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codename-adler · 3 years

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Hey! So I saw someone ask you for kevaaron recs and I saw the ones you recommended. I have read like more than half of those and I really like your taste (especially the one on Instagram, that one's great). So, I wanted to ask if you would give some of your favorite jerejean recs, since you also ship them. I don't have a problem with explicit scenes btw, but I don't prefer kerejean (I am sorry if that doesn't suit with you, but it's just not my thing)

This will be an honor and a pleasure!

All of these can be found on ao3, as they are from my personal bookmarks of Jerejean fics (12 in total, you can also find them regrouped on my dashboard @ codename_adler on ao3, just put the Jeremy Knox / Jean Moreau tag to filter down your research!)

I should also mention that these are all pretty long, triggering, explicit, mature and more or less canon compliant, considering how little we know in the books. To me, Jerejean is about healing and mending and finding solace in each other. If you're looking for something more... bright and AU-ish and short & sweet, I'm... yeah, not the right gal to ask. But please give these a shot, they are all so brilliant and beautiful!! ALSO, any Jerejean fic without Laila and Alvarez is lacking that quality content. I said what I said.

Alright, come on now!

Jerejean Fic Recs

Marrow Without Bone - exyfexyfoxes

First AFTG fic I ever read, first Jerejean fic I ever read, first ao3 fic I ever read... My first love. Always and forever in my heart.

(19 chapters, 79k, completed, M + TW + Explicit)

. When they laid Riko’s body to rest, the only thing Jean could think about was Kevin Day. Kevin Day, Castle Evermore, and the fragile blades of grass near his feet. He thought he must’ve been imagining their brightness, the absolute intensity of the iridescent neon bright fucking green of them.

Riko was dead.

'The Ravens never scouted me,' said Jeremy. He was bouncing his leg under the table. 'Didn’t you know why?' ''

playing on - flybbfly

Oh my god, they were roommates, but make it Jerejean with a bucket of angst, feels, trauma and sexual tension. So long. So slowburn. Yet never enough.

(31 chapters, 142k, completed, M + TW + Explicit)

(this one is also one of two fics that can only be accessed by registered users, make to have an ao3 account to read!)

" "Who knew California Golden Boy Jeremy Knox could play dirty?”

Jeremy grins. “Best kept secret on the west coast. Told you there was a western division striker who could dispossess you.”

“On a practice court, maybe," Jean says. "Try to get it away from me during a game.”

Jeremy leans back, bracing himself on gloved hands. “Luckily, I won't ever have to.”

In which Jean Moreau and Jeremy Knox play exy, share a dorm room, and accidentally insult each another a lot. "

philtatos - lydjah

A Jerejean getting together and healing fic with references to TSoA? It's more likely than you think. Hurts more than you think, too.

(5 chapters, 21k, completed, M + TW)

" Helping Jean Moreau heal is a game Jeremy Knox feels the stakes are too high to even consider the thought of losing. Jean’s first game as a Trojan against Edgar Allan feels like even higher stakes. Falling in love with Moreau - well, those are the highest stakes of all.

“You are his Achilles’ heel,” Laila whispers, in the dark, and her words bleed straight into the empty places in Jeremy’s heart. "

Quicksilver - lydjah

Alternate POVs between Jean and Jeremy, and so, so much love.

(5 chapters, 21k, completed, M + TW)+ Non-explicit sex)

" Jean’s first month at USC is nothing but darkness. Of course, he is used to this. The only colour Jean can anchor himself to in that time is Jeremy Knox’s bright, golden hair.

Fucking martyr, Jean thinks in savage French. "

Saturday Sun - bamboo_astronaut (A_Lesbian_With_Pink_Hair)

Setting beloved characters on the path to healing is its own form of therapy. I'm not even joking.

(1 chapter, 32k, completed, M + TW + Explicit)

" Jean Moreau arrives at USC bruised and battered, and Jeremy Knox is determined to help him heal from his painful past and welcome him to the Trojans with open arms. "

between hoping and believing - cryptickidprem

A soulmate AU!!!

(16 chapters, 47k, completed, pretty G-rated, slight TW bc duh it's Jean)

" Jean convinced himself a long time ago that he doesn't have a soulmate. Or maybe he just wants to believe that. Things would be easier if he was destined to be alone. It will at least hurt less when he inevitably winds up that way anyway.

And then there's Jeremy, who's been dreaming of meeting his match for years. For some reason, Jeremy seems determined to convince Jean that sometimes he might actually be able to have the things he hopes for, and that soulmate or no, Jean Moreau has people who will stick with him. "

Unholy Revelation - the_oxfordcomma

Brace yourselves. This isn't pretty. This isn't nice. But. Doesn't mean it's not worth it.

(1 chapter, 6k, completed, VERY M + TW + Explicit)

" Jeremy didn’t see the approaching Ravens. He was chattering away with Kevin and Matt Boyd, dazzling grin still in place from an hour ago when he’d climbed the stage to accept the award on behalf of his team for the final time. Although everyone in the room had known the Trojans would win, Jeremy still lit up with pride at the announcement, eyes sparkling as he squeezed Jean’s hand under the table. Jean had squeezed back.

Of course the Ravens would try and cast their shadow on the brightest thing in the room. "

Coupure Électrique - lscar123

The only uncompleted fic I'd recommend (last updated in 2017), although the last chapter ends in a way that could be a valid ending, which is why I'm putting it here anyways. The French is cringy but because the rest is so good it deserves a shot.

(21 chapters, 58k, incomplete, M + TW + Non-explicit sex)

" Jean and Jeremy spend the holidays together and learn more about each other than they ever could have imagined. "

Shield for a Heart - neilskey (spellitwithyourpeas)

Oh, the ansgt. Oh, the slowburn. Oh, my heart.

(16 chapters, 55k, completed, M + TW + Explicit)

" “It’s your choice, but you’re rotting away in here, Jean and no matter what she says, you can’t live in Abby’s spare bedroom forever. Time to start fighting again.”

Kevin’s hard and commanding tone was no surprise. The softness had been beaten out of him around the same time as Jean.

“What if I don’t want to anymore?”

Maybe it was because he had been half hidden in shadows-Jean had kept the shades drawn, but light still seeped in the cracks- but Jean thought he had seen something akin to understanding paint Kevin’s cool expression. “He’s gone. You survived. Play or don’t, it’s up to you, but you need to get out of this fucking house.” // Jean's first year at USC. Jeremy falls hard, Jean comes around eventually. "

He Could Taste the Stars - subtlehysteria

Yeah, there's a happy ending. But first, pain!

(25 chapters, 48k, completed, M + TW + Explicit)

" I am a Trojan. I go to USC, Jeremy Knox is my roommate, he has blue eyes, I have grey –

Jean recollected himself. Those were unimportant details. So why couldn’t he get the thought out of his head?

Jean is still adjusting to being a Trojan, Jeremy tries to help Jean open up to his new team. "

I Guess I Like You Like You - lazarusthefirst

This one goes pretty quickly into what matters and we like it like that.

(1 chapter, 7k, completed, M + TW + Explicit)

" ‘Even if it’s just sleeping, I’d rather do it in your room.’ "

Ask the Messenger - Metis_Ink

Second soulmate AU! But this one is very heavy... Made me cry. I cannot stress enough how sad and triggering this one is, even though it ends okay. Please be careful.

(5 chapters, 33k, completed, VERY M + TW + Explicit)

" Jeremy Knox and the soulmate.

Guest starring: Exy, a transfer student, generalized anxiety, older sisters, drunk lesbians, bread, cake, a shed, the beach, the absence of Hennessy, Star Wars, Renee Walker, self-taught smooth talking, gratuitous French, No. 1 Trojans fan Kevin Day, relationship drama, general drama, the power of Friendship, questions, answers, team spirit!, and, of course, romance. "

AND THERE YOU GO!

#jerejean #jerejean fics #jeremy knox #jean moreau #aftg #aftg fic #aftg fanfic #all for the game #usc trojans #exy #fic rec

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aftgficrec · 4 years

Note

Hi! Thanks for all searching you do! I’m looking for any fics for with kevaaron? Jean/renee? Jerjean? As main stories with our without romance.

Ooh this is a fun selection of rarepairs (and less-rare-pair, in the case of Jerejean)! In addition to the ones below, there are some more recent Kevaaron in this rarepairs ask, including We Grow Apart, Up, Together, and Again and Life is Full of Surprises. Hope you enjoy this selection! -F

Kevaaron (a couple oldies-but-goodies):

Us by conniptionns [Rated T, 6216 words, Complete 2017]

commission prompt: Kevin and Aaron falling in love

(tw: car accident)

Orange by autisticandrewminyard (stubborn_jerk) [Rated G, 1055 words, Complete 2017]

One time, when Kevin brought bagels to an appointment, he smiled, thanked Kevin, and never said anything else within the whole session, but Kevin was sure that it was just him being polite. The guy didn’t like talking much, and Kevin was fine with that but… well.

He was cute.

Jean/Renee:

Skates and Bruises by moonix [Rated T, 6344 words, Complete 2018]

Renee joins the bi squad of the Vixens, hangs out with her bestie, and waits for the right moment to ask Jean out on a date.

(tw: mild transphobia)

Dove by indigo_inkpot [Rated T, 207 words, Complete 2019]

There's 2,000 miles between them, but somehow Jean seems to see Renee everywhere.

Jerejean:

A Song Without Melody by ennui_ephemera [Rated T, 6844 words, Complete 2019]

Jean's mother was the one who taught him to sing. Old French songs drifting from the radio, static voices filling the kitchen, the words filtering through Jean's head until he memorized them. His songs, the memories of his mother, were the only things he was allowed to bring with him when he was sent to the Nest. Evermore took everything away from Jean; his autonomy, his sense of stability, his voice. He was sure he would never sing again.

Everything changed when Jean met a boy with a smile that reminded him a bit of the sun, a boy who made Jean want to sing again.

(tw: references to past abuse)

Your humble and silky life by moonix [Rated G, 3582 words, Complete 2019]

Jean’s life these days is quiet, uneventful. His best friend has a hopeless crush on the unattainable Minyard, Jean’s colleague at the botanical garden. Jean has a standing appointment every week with the most beautiful woman in the world, who is happily married to someone else—but that’s okay. There’s still Jeremy the waiter, whose smile is the highlight of Jean’s week.

(tw: animal death)

Art:

Renee & Jean

Two friends having a nice spring afternoon art by @cielly-art

I am here for you art by @thisisntworthless

Kevaaron

Sketch warmup kevaaron by @dickclams (Twitter)

thanks for bringing this ship into my life art by @rainbowd00dles

Jerejean

sunshine boy and resident thunder cloud art by @flightyfoxart

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side-effect-of-the-meds · 5 years

Text

Major angst and general pain warning. Rape mention. Blood mention.

I got an ask regarding Fem!Jean and I will be addressing it soon, but first, we need to talk about Riko. So... here’s that + the start of Jean’s bit.

So let’s start with her sexuality. She’s a lesbian but she doesn’t talk about it.

Not anymore at least.

The second Nathania Wesninski stalked into the Raven Court, Riko knew she wasn’t ‘normal’. All the girls on t.v. kissed boys. They all stayed up late talking about boys. They swooned whenever one of them smiled at them. Riko did all those things too but never about boys. Only about Nathania. Late at night, she’d lay awake gushing about how amazing Nathania was while Kevin tried to drown out the sound of her voice with his pillow.

She was so pretty. Riko felt her heart swell when Nathania’s icy eyes thawed and her crooked smile broke out across her face. Nat’s fiery hair matched her fiery temper. All her life, Riko had lived under her uncle’s rules. Don’t do this. Don’t do that. Don’t touch that. Don’t go there. Don’tDon’tDon’tDon’t

Nat didn’t care. When Tetsuji said don’t touch the racquets, Riko watched as Nat waited for him to turn his back before racing over to the stand. Clambering onto the sofa, Nat turned to look at Riko. Pressing a finger to her lips, she turned back and reached up for the racquet. She dragged her hand across the length of the stick and tugged at the netting. Rolling up to the balls of her feet, Nat pressed a kiss to the joint where the head of the racquet connected to the handle. Just before Tetsuji could turn back, she hopped down and raced back to Kevin who was staring at her, his mouth wide open. He smacked her across the back of the head and scolded for directly disobeying The Master. Nathania scowled him. Seeing Riko still watching her, she gave her a wink and a smile. Riko thought she was going to die then and there.

In the two years Nathania spends at Evermore, Riko’s feelings only intensify. She finds herself tripping over her own feet and running into walls because she’s too busy staring at Nat to watch where she’s going.

Riko ends up watching some rom-com with Kevin, Nat, and their newest addition to the court: Jean!!!!

She sees a lesbian couple that gets one scene in which one of them kisses the other on the cheek when she catches the bouquet at the main couple’s wedding.

Riko is shook.

At practice the next week, Nat stops Kevin in an impossible move and Riko is starstruck. She runs over and hugs Nat close. When Nat pulls her helmet off, she looks so pretty. Riko can’t stop herself from pressing a rough kiss to Nat’s cheek. Nat is shook for half a second, before laughing and returning Ko’s kiss with one of her own. If Ania had stayed at the Raven Court, she and Riko would have been a thing and Riko would have been incredibly soft.

Here’s where things get bad tho. After Nat left, The Master grabbed Riko by her hair and dragged her into his office. Jean stood paralyzed while Kevin banged frantically on the door, Riko’s pleas and sobs ringing through the locker room. Riko couldn’t walk right for the next few days. Neither Kevin nor Jean could discern why. All of Riko’s bruises had been on her upper body. There had been a few running up and down her neck, scratches over her back, and bruises on her wrists and hips. None of those should have inhibited her from walking.

Back then, none of them had understood what The Master had done to Riko. A few years later, the three of them heard the word rape for the first time. The man on the t.v. provided a fairly in-depth explanation of it.

“How could someone do something like that to another person?” Kevin asked, horror painting his face. Suddenly, he gasped. When Jean turned to see what had happened, she had to stifle one of her own. Riko had gone several shades paler than usual. Her limbs trembled as tears poured down her face.

“That- that’s what he does to me,” she whispered, pointing at the screen. “That’s what Uncle does to me.” In between her sobs, Riko explained to them what her uncle had been doing every night once the others fell asleep. Jean and Kevin knew he called Riko from her room every night but they had never once thought this was why. The Master was trying to use ‘corrective’ rape to ‘fix’ her. All Jean and Kevin could do was sit and stare. It took everything in them to hold their own tears back. Seconds, minutes, hours, days passed once Riko finished. None of them knew what to do. They couldn’t tell anyone. Who would believe them?

“If- if you’re fixed, will he stop?” Kevin asked finally.

“I’m not broken!” Riko cried.

“If you pretend to be straight, will he stop?” Kevin amended.

“I- I don’t know. Maybe?” she replied.

“Then maybe you should just pretend,” he said softly. “Just for now. After we leave, you can do what you want. You’ve just got to pretend for… ten years?”

“That’s a long time,” Jean whispered.

“It’s all we can do,” Kevin insisted. “We’ve spent our entire lives pretending to be fine. What’s one more secret?”

“But how?” Riko asked. Silence engulfed the three of them.

“You could try kissing a boy,” Kevin offered. “Reyes isn’t all bad.”

“No. I don’t want him getting any ideas,” Riko snapped.

“Then it has to be one of us,” Jean said. Riko looked between the two of them, a frown furrowing her brow.

“It’s just pretend, right?” she asked.

“Just pretend,” Kevin replied a little too quickly.

After a moment’s consideration, Riko agreed. She picked Kevin as her ‘boyfriend’. From that they on, she held his hand and pressed chaste kisses to his cheek when The Master was watching. Their act worked perfectly. Maybe a little too perfectly. Somewhere along the line, Jean realized that Kevin wasn’t pretending to love Riko. Whenever she walked past, Kevin couldn’t take his eyes off her. When she brushed against him, he leaned into her touch. Kevin had caught feelings and he had caught them hard.

From the moment she and Kevin started dating, she began to shut herself down. Feelings had been the source of all her pain. If she didn’t feel, she couldn’t get hurt, could she? Jean watched as her best friend started to cut away all the bits and pieces of herself that made her Ko.

Jean is trans and she’s amazing and I love her.

Riko might have cut herself off from most of her feelings and desensitized herself but she still is soft for Jean… sometimes.

Jean comes out to her and Riko is in pain. She doesn’t understand but she supports her bc Jean supported her.

Jean can’t change her name to fit her gender identity because then Ichirou will find out and God only knows what he’ll do to her.

And so the nickname, Jeanie, becomes a thing.

Jeanie is close enough to Jean that Riko can deny any wrongdoing. Jean wishes that she could just change her name and fully lean into her gender identity but Riko will just look at her and Jean will shove all her feelings down.

They tell Kevin and he agrees to call her by the nickname too. They also privately refer to Jeanie with ‘she/her’ pronouns because they know it makes her feel better. Most of the Nest is set up so that the dorms are separated by gender. Kevin and Riko’s are an exception because Tetsuji wants Riko to keep her eye on her pet. Jeanie ends up crashing there most nights so she doesn’t have to face being in the men’s dorm. She only ever uses the bathroom in the dorms because they’re private. The changing room is just something she has to deal with and she hates it so much.

When Kevin leaves, Riko officially breaks. He promised he’d protect her from Tetsuji. He swore he’d always be by her side. When he leaves, Riko is convinced that he’s abandoned her. Jeanie can only watch in horror as Riko’s deterioration increases exponentially.

She’s torn. She’s glad that Kevin left because he had to. Tetsuji broke his arm for nearly showing Riko up on the court. Riko had been treating him worse and worse too. She had never raised a hand at him but Jeanie knew she was manipulating him. She deprived him of touch and cut him up and used him to get whatever she wanted. It hurt Jeanie to watch all of it. They were her best friends, her only friends, and they were tearing each other apart.

Also, Kevin isn’t innocent. There were so many times when Riko tried to break things off with him. He’d shrug and nonchalantly suggest that maybe it was better if Tetsuji went back to treating Riko like a blow-up doll. >:00000

Truly despicable

Kevin’s gone, Riko is in shambles, and Jeanie has never felt more alone.

Two months after Kev’s flight from Evermore, he showed up as Palmetto State as the new assistant coach. Tetsuji is furious. He had beaten Riko black and blue when Kevin had first run but this was something else entirely. Jeanie had walked into The Master’s office to hand over some reports and found Riko bound and gagged with her face buried in the couch cushions, her uncle above her. The Master threw Jeanie out and locked the door. Jeanie banged on the door, kicking at it but it wouldn’t budge. She collapsed outside the door sobbing. An hour later, Riko hobbled out of the office. She was covered in bruises and one of her eyes had swollen shut. Her clothes were in tatters and she was limping. She grabbed Jeanie by her hair and dragged her back to the dorms. Riko didn’t speak for the rest of the month. She wouldn’t leave her room for the next seven months.

Jeanie didn’t leave Riko’s side in those seven months either. It wasn’t wise to leave a pregnant woman on her own.

The birth of Cleo Moriyama was Evermore’s best-kept secret. The team assumed that she was Kevin’s. They were wrong. Cleo was an abomination. She was the daughter of Tetsuji Moriyama. Since Riko found out she was pregnant, she had lost all feelings. The birth of Cleo gave her back only one: hate.

Jeanie was horrified. Riko had wanted an abortion but Tetsuji had refused. As a result, Riko had only hate in her heart for her daughter. Cleo is left to cry all night and starve to death for all Riko could care. Jeanie spends her third year of college juggling school, practice, and a baby that isn’t even hers.

On top of everything, Riko has no emotions. None. She looks at everyone and everything with a dead, hollow-eyed look. A thousand-yard stare. In front of cameras, she always manages to slip her ditzy facade on but she doesn’t keep it on any longer than she has to.

Riko is picking fights left, right, and center. She’s always brawling on the court. No one interferes because it’s Riko.

The first flicker of emotion that Jeanie sees is at the discovery of Ania Josten’s true identity. For the first time in nearly a year, Riko looks excited. A brilliant smile splits her face and tears flow from her eyes.

“Oh, Nattie. How I’ve missed you, my love,” Riko whispers as she drags a hand across the screen of her laptop, paused in the middle of one of Ania’s interviews. Riko turns to Jeanie. She races over and grabs Cleo out of Jeanie’s arms. “How would you like to have two mommies, Cleo? Oh, I’m sure you’ll love your new mommy. Such a pretty face. Such a dirty mouth.” There’s a crazed glint in Riko’s eyes and Jeanie feels her blood run cold. It’s the same glint she used to see whenever Riko ran her blades over Kevin’s skin. It was the same laughter that rang through the halls when Kevin sobbed beneath the sting of her blade, parting his skin, carving into his flesh.

The banquets occur and Ania comes to Evermore.

Jeanie wants to grab Ania by the shoulders and shake her. She wants to scream at her to get out. She wants to help her run but she’s too afraid of what will happen to her and, more importantly, Cleo if she does. Instead, she does her best to help Ania keep up. It’s hard especially when Ania is so dead set on pissing Riko off as much as possible. Ania refuses to accept Jeanie’s help either. She shoves Jeanie away and does the exact opposite of what she’s told. She hasn’t changed a bit since she was a child.

Since the birth of Cleo, Jeanie has had her own room that she shares with the baby. It’s right beside Riko’s room. Jeanie finds herself waking in the middle of the night to the cries of the baby and the screams of Ania in the room next door. Riko is undoubtedly cutting her up just like she did Kevin. IIt’s Cleo or Ania. You can’t save them both, Jeanie thinks to herself as the tears slide down her cheek. She rocks Cleo in her arms, wishing the baby didn’t have to hear the horrors of the room next door. One night, however, the pleas she hears sound familiar. Pressing an ear up against the wall, she hears Ania begging for Riko to stop. She hears Riko demand that Ania love her. Jeanie leans back puzzled. It takes a few moments for the pieces to fall into place. She’s out of her room and kicking down Riko’s door in a matter of seconds. Ania’s handcuffed to the bed, naked. Riko is kneeling above her, her own shirt off. Blood coats everything in sight.

This is the final straw. Jeanie grabs Riko by her hair and throws her across the room. She undoes the cuffs on Ania’s hands. She carries her to the bathroom and cleans her up. Ania doesn’t seem to be all there. Instead, she sits quietly as Jeanie does her best to clean the blood off her and dress the wounds.

She packs Ania’s things and grabs Cleo and drives them to the airport. She calls Renee before the three of them hop onto the first available flight back to South Carolina.

Wymack is already waiting for them at the terminal. His eyes widen at the sight of the child in Jeanie’s arms but he doesn’t question it. He drives the four of them back to the team nurse’s home. Jeanie explains what happened at Evermore and, after some prodding, reveals the truth about Cleo. Abby is trying to contain her tears. She offers to watch Cleo while Jeanie sleeps. Jeanie hesitates but her fatigue wins out. She hands Cleo over and falls asleep the second her head hits the pillow.

Jeanie hides out with the foxes, waiting for Riko to come and take her back. Not once do they call. Instead, Renee’s adoptive mother has forced Evermore to open an investigation into the Ravens. It’s only a matter of time before the Ravens fall.

Jeanie’s story will pick up from her arrival at Palmetto.

#fem!andreil #fem!jean #erin minyard #ania josten #the foxhole court #the foxhole court au #all for the game au #all for the game #all for the gay #tfc au #aftg au #rape mention

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nekojitachan · 7 years

Link

Nathaniel has spent the last eight years at Evermore, eight years rebelling against Riko and the idea of the Perfect Court, eight years standing between the Moriyamas and Jean Moreau. Now Nathaniel and Jean are following in Kevin Day's footsteps and leaving Edgar Allan/Evermore behind to join the Palmetto State Foxes. Kevin is eager to welcome two talented Exy players and former teammates onto a team which badly needs them, but Andrew? Andrew suspects that there's more to their arrival than the two are willing to reveal - and he takes his promises seriously.

*******

Andrew watched from his position against the far wall in the lounge while Wymack and Kevin showed Hatford and Moreau around as part of the whole ‘this is what you get when you sign the papers’; he was against about the whole Raven charity thing they had going on, about signing two more broken birdies despite the shiny patch of healing skin on Hatford’s left cheek and the wary way that Moreau took in everything. Despite Kevin’s assurances that Hatford had never gone along with any plan of Riko’s and that Moreau was loyal to the kid… something was going on.

“So that’s the tour, basically,” Wymack told the two young men, both of them dressed in black like Kevin, both of them pale as if unused to the sun but Hatford possessing that bright red hair which stood out like a beacon. He was also a little more animated with his emotions – not much, just when compared to his dour companion (Kevin said that Moreau was referred to as Hatford’s ‘shadow’ in the Nest). At the moment, there was a slight bit of contempt on the kid’s attractive face.

“Well, I can’t say I’m impressed,” Hatford drawled, which made Kevin’s face become flushed and Wymack’s to grow blank. “Instead of the shower stalls and doors you could have spent the money on soaking tubs or some private work-out equipment or a few other improvements, and the surface of that track is-“

“It’s not Evermore,” Kevin cut in with a hoarse voice as he pulled himself upright as if to tower over the short backliner. Not a difficult thing to do, considering how small the mouthy little shit was, really.

*******

Part of the amazing ExyorDeath zine! Donate for a great cause!

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#raven!neil #nekojitachanfics #sassbaguette #tfc fanfic #exyordeath-zine

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markonasurface · 7 years

Text

4/50 - “We’re designed to be disposable.”

Fandom: All for the Game Characters/pairings: Neil, Andrew, Kevin, Jack, Dan, other Foxes/andreil, Kevineil friendship Summary: At a mandatory team bonding time night, Kevin remembers something from the first time he met Neil. A/N: I started classes this week and haven’t been able to write anything new. I wrote this so long ago. Parts of it might be a little redundant. Also, dramatized.

Dan designated two nights a month as mandatory team bonding time. The upperclassmen (as they still referred to Dan, Matt, Renee and Allison even though technically everyone on the team from the year before except for Neil were upperclassmen), the monsters (as mostly only Allison still referred to Andrew’s group unless the others were annoyed with one of them), and the freshmen switched off hosting the M.T.B.T. nights.

When the monsters hosted, it was almost a guarantee the others were just allowed to tag along to Columbia for Sweetie’s and Eden’s Twilight. It was hit or miss if Andrew allowed them back to the cousins’ house to crash. The nights he let the freshmen over Kevin slept on the floor in Andrew’s room.

When the upperclassmen hosted, they went out for team dinners and watched movies in Matt, Aaron, and Nicky’s room. Occasionally they planned bowling.

The freshmen were split. Some of them tried to get along with the older members of their team but Jack and Sheena went out of their way to make anyone uncomfortable. Dan scolded them when one of their movie choices sent one of their freshmen dealers into a triggered panic attack. The next week at practice she sent them on extra laps.

“Are you sure the movie is appropriate?” Dan demanded, holding the movie case in one hand and staring at Jack.

He looked mock offended. “Tomorrow is Halloween. How much more appropriate can you get than a gory horror movie?”

She looked unconvinced so he added, “It’s in another language so how bad can it really be?”

“What language?”

“Korean or something.” He was already taking the case back and moved to put the disc in the player.

“It’s Japanese,” Kevin corrected even though he suspected Jack already knew.

He waved him off but Dan waited for Kevin to meet her eyes. She tilted her head, questioning, and Kevin shrugged before going to take a seat on Neil’s left.

Neil hated movies and usually tuned them out or watched half-heartedly. He especially didn’t care to read subtitles.

He noticed Dan and Matt occasionally glancing around at their teammates, probably trying to make sure everyone was okay. Neil slanted a look toward Kevin and saw that he was looking more unhappy the longer the movie played.

He was about to nudge him when he felt Renee go rigid on the couch behind him. He quickly turned his attention to the screen and stiffened as the villain selected a sharp knife and dragged it slowly down his captive’s face from his temple to the corner of his mouth.

Neil’s cuts had healed months ago but he felt his scars burning on his cheek like it was fresh. Under the blanket, Andrew’s hand on his thigh coaxed him from his memories and he leaned his head back with his eyes closed, trying to focus on the feel of fingers squeezing his leg.

Kevin gasped and Neil turned to look at him. Under his breath, he spoke in Japanese. He looked up at Neil, eyes wide and said in French, “We’re designed to be disposable.”

Neil jerked, knocking the open bottle from Andrew’s hand to spill in Nicky’s lap.

“What the hell?” He stood up and whiskey dripped off his sweatpants.

Andrew cut a sharp look at Neil but Neil was looking at the screen now. The villain had an axe and swung it a few times to sever the limb of his captive. The others were murmuring around them but Neil and Kevin’s eyes were glued to the TV.

The subtitles were of course in English, the only language they all could understand, but Neil murmured them in French. He heard his name being called but it was distant.

Suddenly a hand blocked his view and he realized Andrew had moved so he could reach Kevin as well. The room went silent as Dan turned off the TV.

“Let’s go.” Andrew said. He spoke a little louder, “Neil. Kevin.”

He grabbed both of their arms and pulled them to their feet. He stepped between them and turned to give them both shoves toward the door.

“Leaving so soon?” Jack asked, an ugly smirk twisting his mouth.

Andrew pushed Nicky and Aaron, who had gotten up to follow, out of his way and grabbed the front of Jack’s shirt pulling him halfway up between standing and sitting on the couch. Jack’s smile faltered but he met Andrew’s gaze.

“Try something like that again, asshole.” It was more of a warning than a dare and hopefully Jack was smart enough to know that.

Andrew let go and the rest of his group took that as their cue to leave. They heard the beginning of a lecture from Dan before the door was shut.

“Neil?”

He pulled away from Nicky, not wanting to be touched right now. They waited for Andrew to unlock their door and filed in. The last person in locked the door and they settled around the living room.

Neil stayed by the door, wall at his back so he could see the rest of the room, needing the comfort of an old habit.

“What happened?” Nicky looked from Neil to Kevin.

Neil met Kevin’s eyes and Kevin nodded. He swallowed. “When I was twelve, I met Nathaniel -”

He paused when Neil flinched at his birth name. Andrew frowned. “Don’t call him that.”

“Sorry, you guys know the first time we met he was auditioning for his life.” The others nodded but Kevin kept his eyes on Neil, staring straight through him like he could picture the scene from a decade ago. “After, the Master sent for us and we were taken up in one of the towers at Evermore. They made us watch -”

After a moment of silence, Nicky realized Kevin was having a hard time finishing and demanded, “Made you watch what?”

Neil forced a neutral expression on his face and said, “Made us watch the Butcher take a man apart piece by piece.”

“You both freaked out before the guy got his arm cut off in the movie,” Aaron pointed out.

“The man Nath - Neil - the Butcher was taking apart was French,” Kevin found his voice again. “He only said one thing when the Butcher threatened him.”

“Nous sommes conçus pour être jetables.”

Kevin’s face paled and Neil felt his stomach turn. He translated for Neil so the others could understand, “We’re designed to be disposable.”

“Neither of you would’ve spoken French then and the movie is in Japanese.” Aaron was getting impatient.

Andrew looked at Aaron, curious. “You think they’re lying?”

“No,” Aaron was unbothered. “I just want them to hurry up and explain how the movie triggered them.”

“Don’t you ever translate things in your head to German or from German to English?” Nicky questioned.

“That’s different,” Aaron crossed his arms over his chest. “English is my first language. It’s all of our first language. It’s strange he would translate it automatically to French. It’s not even his second language; it’s his third.”

Neil cut in. “When I left Castle Evermore last year, I was surprised when I called Coach that he spoke to me in English. No one was allowed to speak in a language Riko couldn’t understand but most days it was the only way Jean could remind me where I was. Whenever Riko wasn’t around we spoke in French.”

Aaron didn’t look like he fully understood but he moved on. “How did you remember that’s what the man said though?”

An uncomfortable look passed over Kevin’s face and he at last looked away from Neil. “I don’t know. I-I, uh, it was the only thing he said. I had nightmares for years after that and I guess - I don’t know.”

“Your brain put the pieces together,” Andrew stated.

“Makes sense,” Nicky accepted. “Trauma can do that to you I guess. Neil?”

His response was automatic. “It was the last thing I asked my - him. Before my mom and I ran.”

“He spoke French, too?”

“No, there was a translator.” Kevin looked back at Neil.

“Your creepy shared flashbacks are creeping me out,” Nicky said and gave an exaggerated shudder.

Aaron looked around at all of them. “How’d Jack know?”

There was a knock on their door. Even though Neil was right there, he didn’t move to open it. Nicky got up from the floor and looked through the peephole. He opened the door to let Dan and Matt into the room.

“How’s Renee?” Neil asked because he knew Andrew wouldn’t.

Dan and Matt exchanged confused looks and Matt told him, “She’s fine. She’s with Allison.”

“We came to see how you two were,” Dan informed them even though it was obvious.

Kevin was back to staring vacantly at Neil but Neil answered, “We’re fine.”

“Can we ask what happened?” Her tone was cautious.

Nicky looked between the two men’s faces and Neil shrugged. “They were reminded of the day they met.”

“Meaning?” Matt urged them to elaborate.

“Meaning they watched Neil’s - the Butcher cut a French man into pieces.” Nicky said.

Curiosity got the better of Aaron and he took a break from ignoring the upperclassmen to ask, “How did Jack and Sheena know what he said?”

“Hm?”

“The French man only said one thing the entire time Kevin and Neil were in the room and Kevin didn’t even realize he remembered until watching the stupid movie tonight so how did they know it would set him off? The only people who would know that are part of the Moriyama’s circle.”

Nicky jumped in with a question of his own. “And why would Jack target Kevin? He worships him.”

“He was probably just trying to get to Neil,” Dan reasoned.

“The movie was in Japanese.” Neil couldn’t make sense of it all.

Andrew stood up then and went out the door.

“Where are you going?” Dan called after him. They all went out into the hall and watched him pound on the freshmen boys’ door.

He took a step back and waited. One of the boys called over his shoulder, “I think someone’s here to see you, Jack.”

Jack swaggered over to the door. “Can I help you?”

As soon as he was close enough, Andrew pulled him into the hallway and slammed him against the wall. “What’re you doing?” Andrew asked him as the rest of the freshmen rushed to the door.

Jack opened his mouth to answer but only a choked sound came out when his eyes fell from Andrew’s face. “The truth.”

“Andrew, stop,” Sheena begged.

“I was just having some fun,” Jack stuttered. He winced and said, “Stop. Please.”

“I said ‘the truth,’” Andrew reminded him.

Sheena looked wildly around until she spotted Neil. “Stop him. He’s going to kill him!”

The only thing Neil was worried about was drawing a crowd. If Jack was hiding something, Neil and Kevin wanted him dead. “Shut up,” he told Sheena.

Dan stepped forward as a bedroom door opened. “Andrew, let’s take this inside.” She looked behind her and was relieved to see it was only Renee and Allison.

“Please!” Sheena cried and Neil hissed, “Shut. Up.”

The freshmen tripped over themselves when Andrew shoved Jack toward them. Once again the entire team crowded into the freshmen’s suite. Andrew quickly pinned Jack to the wall again and held the knife to his chest.

“How’d you know that phrase would get to Kevin?” Andrew always spoke calmly.

“Kevin - what?” Jack sought Kevin’s face out.

Andrew put pressure on the knife in his hand and Jack squirmed. “The only people that know were in the room that day and at least three of them are already dead. Who told you?”

“I wasn’t trying to get to Kevin!”

“The film was in Japanese,” Andrew reminded him.

“Please!”

“I hate that word.”

Everybody jumped when there was a loud knock on the door. “It’s me,” Wymack called. “Open the god damn door right now or your fucking M.T.B.T nights will be spent running marathons.”

Allison let him in and shut the door behind him.

“What the hell is going on in here?” he demanded. “Andrew?”

Andrew ignored Wymack and said, “Look at me, Jack. If you weren’t trying to get to Kevin, tell me why you chose a movie only he could understand.”

“There were English subtitles!” Sheena screamed and Nicky tried to shush her. “We could all understand!”

“Next time you speak out of turn I will put this knife through his hand. Final warning.”

“I swear! I swear!” Jack honestly looked frightened. “I chose a foreign language movie because I knew Dan was more likely to allow it. It was just a coincidence that it was Japanese and it was just a coincidence that whatever was said reminded Kevin of whatever it did, okay? I swear! I promise -”

Andrew tsked and said, “I take promises very seriously.”

“We were trying to get Neil to freak out! It’s true! If we had finished the movie you would’ve seen. He uses a dull axe to torture his last victim. He cuts off his body parts.” Andrew applied slightly more pressure and Jack said, “It’s not a secret that Neil’s father used a dull axe to torture people as he killed them! I bet everyone in this room has read the reports about how his uncle came just in time before Neil’s father used it on him.”

“Don’t call him that,” Andrew said but let Jack go. Jack slid down the wall and a couple of the freshmen rushed to his side.

Wymack eyed them all. “Freshmen, pack your bags. You’re staying with Abby for a few days. She’s waiting downstairs. Go.” He turned to his older Foxes. “Do I need to separate your two groups as well?”

Dan shook her head. “No, Coach.”

“Go wait for me in Andrew’s room.”

Andrew stretched his arms above his head and said, “Yawn. I’m very sleepy. Time for bed.”

“Don’t you dare,” he grabbed Andrew’s sleeve on his way past. “I will be there in a few minutes. All the usual threats apply.”

“Oh, Coach,” Andrew pulled out of his grip. “You know only Kevin and Neil care.”

Wymack didn’t say that that was enough for Andrew; he didn’t need to. He let them leave.

Because I saw this post and all I could think of was tfc/aftg. Tbh it’s all I think about these days.

http://maelerie.tumblr.com/post/135803922052/send-me-two-characters-or-more-and-a-prompt-and

#aftg #tfc #andreil #kevineil #tfc fic #Palmetto State Foxes

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ao3feed-thefoxholecourt · 7 years

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Falls

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2BDWeEs

by nekojita

Nathaniel ends up at Edgar Allan/the Nest after all, and what helps him through everything (Tetsuji's abusive demands, RIKO, being pushed to his limits to be the best) is often the dreams he has of the young French boy whose name is embellished on his wrist - Jean. The boy whom his mother told him to never mention to anyone, especially his father.

So what happens when that boy ends up at Evermore one day?

A soul mate/Neil/Jean fic for apprenticedmagician on Tumblr for ATFG_Exchange's winter gift exchange.

Words: 7002, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Neil Josten, Jean Moreau, Kevin Day, Riko Moriyama, Tetsuji Moriyama, Thea Muldani, Mary Hatford, The Ravens (All For The Game), Nathan Wesninski

Relationships: Neil Josten/Jean Moreau, Kevin Day/Thea Muldani

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Edgar Allan setting, The Ravens, Neil as Nathaniel, Underage Sex, canonical references to it after all, Canon-Typical Violence, but not as bad as it could be, I'm going with an 'M' rating to be safe, not graphic about the sex at all, soul mates, AFTG Exchange, AFTG Winter Exchange 2017, Riko is being Riko so....

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2BDWeEs

#ao3feed #fanfic #all for the game #the foxhole court #tfc fanfic

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foxes-motherfuckers · 7 years

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Trans Neil hc

Because the opportunity is write there and I d o what I w a n t. Sorry if this has been done before, it probably has.

- growing up, neil wasn’t exposed to the idea of questioning his gender, and he was generally too preoccupied with avoiding his father to be concerned with the growing discomfort in his body.

- he knew something was wrong by the age of 7, but neil didn’t spend enough time around other children to be lumped in with the girls. It helped that exy doesn’t discriminate gender, even in the youth leagues. One of the primary reasons that the moriyamas wanted to buy neil was because they knew female exy players would give them good PR and more endorsements, although neil would have been abused for being lesser than.

- on the run, neil’s mother let him choose male names for himself in other cities and countries, and she didn’t take the time to really be concerned with it until later.

- also, let’s be honest, mary was a sly motherfucker, she would have taken any opportunity she had to buzz her kid’s head, hide his budding body in baggy clothes, and encourage him to talk less or deepen his voice once other boys started reaching puberty.

- this (take note, any transguys reading) really fucked up neil’s vocal chords with all the strain he put on his voice between the age 13-16. it was part of the reason that he learned to adopt a quieter personality, because it was easier on his voice.

- neil’s mother had him on testosterone before seattle (she was able to get hormones through her contacts), but some point between her death and milport, neil ran out and was too afraid to reach out to the contacts that he had.

- neil found a clinic in milport that could supply him with T, but he was contantly afraid that his father’s people would find him through the clinic. One of the first times that neil finds a reason to have faith in other human’s is when Hernandez approaches him after finding a sweaty binder on top of neil’s bag in the locker room late at night (one of neil’s rare moments of forgetfulness). He doesn’t make neil define himself or anything, but immediately took on the charge of the hormones using scholarship money for the team, meaning neil couldn’t be tracked. he would never mention it, but hernandez’s generosity was one of the reasons he lingered so long in milport.

- wymack knew about neil even before he got on the plane to arizona, but didn’t tell him he knew until the conversation in his apartment that summer where he told neil that he’d never hurt him. neil had always been threatened and abused by his father’s men for being biologically female, and he had learned to distrust anyone knew about his situation. wymack told him that nothing mattered if he would give his all to the foxes, and would support him however he could.

- kevin didn’t realize until riko used neil’s birthname to taunt him at the banquet, and he’s twice as shook because of it. neil doesn’t know what to make of his reaction, and kevin ignores it until he brings it up at night practice a few days later. he tells neil that he doesn’t care what he was as a child, only that he was still able to give his game to kevin. neil told him nothing had changed, and his game was still his.

- andrew finds out during the game between him and neil, pre-rooftop kiss, but post-Easthaven. andrew asked if anyone had ever touched him, and neil says no, but they had verbally abused him about parts of his body. Andrew asks what part, and neil says his breasts. Andrew is surprised but only asks “are you a girl?” to which neil vehemently says no, and andrew accepts it without question.

- the rest of the foxes don’t find out until the kidnapping and the FBI agents use neil’s birthname when interrogating them. At the hotel, neil is terrified, among everything else, that the team will refuse to recognize him as male. nothing in the hotel scene includes anything about his gender, it’s actually allison who responds to the FBI agents when they say they only have a few minutes with “her.”

- “I don’t know what ‘her’ you’re referring to, but if you’re going to talk bullshit about what we can and can’t do with neil, you’re going to refer to him correctly.”

- abby had informed them that neil’s gender wasn’t just another way to hide, because she, like wymack, had known since the summer. When she’d first examined neil she’d assured him that she wasn’t going to think of him any differently, assuming that it was just his chest, and not his scars, that he was reluctant to show. abby was the one who’d administered neil’s T to him, making sure that nothing was sore and then everything was working as it should.

- during his time at evermore, riko wasn’t quite cruel enough to openly refer to neil by his birth name in front of the rest of the ravens, but he made neil respond to it in private and with jean (like he had with ‘nathaniel’ in the books) he also confiscated neil’s binder from him, leaving him to try and disguise his chest with his gear.

- after the initial shock, the foxes stand by neil with unbending support. when reporters approached them using birth names, every single one of them (even aaron) corrected them and refused to say any more. matt stares down anyone who dares say anything to neil in the athlete’s dorm, and aaron almost knocked out a kid who referred to neil as “miss” in the hallway.

- mostly though, no one gives a shit about who neil was at one time. after everything that’s happened, they’re all just happy (with varying degrees of volume) that neil is there.

- “yes or no” works even more mutually in this case, because neil has never been able to get comfortable with his body, and andrew knows this. neither of them have any idea what they’re doing, but they figure it out step by step.

I’m going to add more at some point, but I have to cut myself off for now. Love.

#trans #trans neil #the foxhole court #all for the game #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #palmetto state foxes

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f-xholecourt · 7 years

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so, @thicckevin and i have been talking about an all for the game au where the characters have daemons, and let me tell you, it’s lit (i even included pictures, lmao)

daemons are the physical manifestation of a human soul, and during a person’s childhood they can take any shape they please. however, once a person reaches the age of maturity, the daemon will settle into a form that best represents the soul

wymack’s daemon is a kodiak bear that follows him around like a ginormous shadow

spiritually seen to represent strength and leadership, also known as a strong, grounding force circled around healing and rest

abby’s is a guinea pig, very fitting

represents empathy, sensitivity, trust, protection and commonly referred to as “sacred healer”

bee’s is a badger and see we could’ve given her an actual bee but…

the badger is the keeper of stories and represents reliance, independence, strong will and confidence

dan has a lynx because she’s the captain, it’s her job to know or to want to know everything

the lynx is the seer of secrets, a born leader and very patient

matt has a bloodhound, because he’s kind, loving and forgiving, the first time he meets neil he knows this boy is going to be a handful but he doesn’t care

the bloodhound represents affection, gentleness, nobility, playfulness and unconditional acceptance (in other words, it fits him perfectly)

his daemon also has a stupid reference to neil’s, but we’ll get to that

allison has a leopard because she walked away from her parents and found herself

the leopard shows claiming your true self, boldness, beauty, strength and perseverance

renee has a tiny goldfinch bird that likes to sit on her shoulder

the goldfinch illustrates understanding the importance of change, balance and harmony when dealing with people, happiness, diversity and joy

nicky has a hare, much like a rabbit but with larger ears and legs, typically they live in pairs (erik also has a hare, would you believe)

they represent family, love, loyalty creativity and rebirth, as well as vulnerability and sentiment

aaron has a ferret that likes to curl up around his neck and brood with him

ferrets show healing, agility, stealth and being a pain in the ass

surprisingly, he and andrew daemon’s don’t share the same form, most likely because they’re very different people

kevin’s is interesting because throughout his childhood his daemon remained a raven, something riko was extremely jealous of, but when he joined the foxes it finally settled into a hawk

representing overcoming problems, clear-sightedness, leadership and strength, things kevin had been severely lacking back at evermore

andrew’s daemon settled as a maine coon, but when he was a kid in the foster system and living with cass and through being subjected to drake’s abuse, it took the shape of small animals like mice, ladybirds and moths to seem invisible

cats symbolise being secretive, intelligent, watchful, wary and loyal

maine coons also look 99.9% done with everything all of the time

neil’s daemon never settled (which is rare and you know, bad) until he legally became neil. his daemon couldn’t settle due to all of the personalities and names he wore, it couldn’t find a specific trait to stick itself to

when he was alex, it took the shape of a shrew to seem unimportant and so that it could be easily concealed. when he was stefan, it was an australian shepherd dog so that it could keep up with running him and his mother. when he was chris, it was a weasel, signalling his secret agenda and urge to stay hidden, especially when his mother died

riko’s torture at evermore included separating neil and his daemon for long periods of time, something that should never happen. if you injure the human, the daemon feels it, injure the daemon - you get it

however, when he finally became neil abram josten after baltimore, it changed to a fox (you knew it was coming folks) and andrew and neil’s daemons like to cuddle, giving away their not-relationship. there’s also a fox and the hound reference here for neil and matt, lmao

jean has a siberian husky, very fluffy but not very friendly at all

siberian huskies symbolise inner strength, survival, leadership through hardship and embracing challenge

jeremy has a big, dumb dalmation, over-excited little thing and loves to play

dalmations represent balance and kindness, an ability to love unconditionally and be loyal, and they’re highly intelligent

and now moving onto the less important assholes

riko has a rat

for obvious reasons

rats represent wealth, stealth, defence, intelligence

ichirou has a king cobra

snakes represent cunning, wisdom, immortality, connections between primal sources

nathan has a sea otter

ask ella, honestly. they kill kids when they’re sexually frustrated okay, it’s perfect for him. they literally have no spiritual meaning for this. we just hate him

lola and romero have golden monkeys, vicious little fuckers. they also have little to no meaning, they’re just awful and match their human counterparts so well

#aftg #aftg au #um.....this got stupidly long and well thought out #im so sorry #i not though bc this was so fun to think about #thicckevin #special thanks to ella for a) letting me ramble and b) rambling back at me #aftg hc

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riteandwread · 7 years

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So I’m kinda just posting this because it’s burning a hole in my hard drive but it’s not nearly ready enough to be posted in full

this is the first little bit of this insane fight club (not like the movie just people beating the shit out of each other) AU that’s kinda just raven!neil without Exy aka Neil was sold to the Moriyama’s but instead of Exy they run one of the biggest and most profitable underground fight clubs.

it’s super disjointed and not at all edited and idk if i even like it but oh well

(eventual trigger warning for lots of violence, non-con, drug use but none of that is explicitly stated in this excerpt but there are some illusions and references so read at your own risk)

Tyger Tyger, burning bright, In the forests of the night; What immortal hand or eye, Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

William Blake

Nathaniel stared at his reflection through the steam covered mirror and let out a stuttering breath as he pushed away the thought of what was about to happen and tried to center himself one final time. He hunched himself over the grimy sink in the old discolored locker room and tried to focus on the sound of the screams coming from just outside on the court. The voices of hundreds of people gathered to watch two men beat the shit out of each other wafted through the broken room, bouncing off the cracked tiles and reverberated in his head.

The animals in the crowd knew what they were getting into when they walked into a place like like Evermore. They were paying top dollar see two men enter the open court surrounded by a Plexiglas cage and not leave until only one of them was left standing. They were paying to see someone die.

Nathaniel looked down past his scarred chest and let his eyes drift to his forearms as they scanned the dark tattooed lines that were placed in even distance between each other on his left arm. One mark for every victory. One mark for every neck that snapped or body that filled with blood. He slowly counted all 45 them in every language he knew as he flexed his hands and relaxed each muscle in his body one by one just as Jean had taught him all those years ago.

A loud voice boomed from the other side of the locker room as a firm hand pounded on the large metal door, “Showtime, Wesninski! Get your shit together and get out there!”

Nathaniel let out one final breath, crossed the locker room, and stepped out into the long hallway that led to the court. Even in spite of everything, Nathaniel loves the rush of a fight. He loved being on the court, he loved feeling free for those few minutes at a time. The few moments before a match, as he walked down the long white halls to the court, always sent him into his head.

Nathaniel always came alive when a fist collided with his body for the first time. The air that was pushed out of his body was replaced with electricity and adrenaline that threatened to burn him to ashes. The fists that collided with his face left a vicious smile in their wake, all teeth, blindingly white, and deadly. The dull sensation of the blows energized Nathaniel as if his body absorbed it, stored it, and waited for the exact right moment to unleash it.

Nathaniel hadn't felt true pain in years. It was something he almost longed for at this point because pain was, in some ways, the only thing he had ever known. He'd known pain ever since he was two years old and felt the press of the heated clothes iron in his skin as his father stood above him. His relationship with pain continued as he grew and his father inflicted more and more damage upon his body with nearly any tool he could find. Nathaniel's body was a patchwork quilt of pain, ripped and stained from years of abuse. The physical pain stopped hurting him long ago, there were only so many times your body could be ripped open before it stopped feeling the hurt. Now, instead of pain, he felt nothing. Nothing as fists collided, bones broke, or blades dug into his skin.

The only form of pain left that could hurt Nathaniel was one that could only be wielded properly by someone who was trained in the art of destruction. The scars that were left in it's wake weren't visible, they didn't leave marks and lines like all the rest. Those scars formed in his head, etched images onto the back of his eyelids that he could see every time he tried to sleep. The physical trauma was phased out over the years, slowly at first when they realized how little he responded to it, and replaced with the psychological trauma. It wasn't that Nathaniel couldn't be hurt, it was that Nathaniel could only be hurt in different ways.

Nathaniel's only weakness was Jean Moreau. Jean was the closest thing he had family, they were brothers who came screaming into the world together. Jean was the only chink in Nathaniel's carefully crafted armor. Nathaniel could deal with crimes against his own person, he had to. The only times Nathaniel fell apart were when he was forced to watch Jean's pain, when he was held in place and made to watch as Jean was cut into, forced to listen to Jean's screams echo off the walls around them. Nathaniel would beg, plead, offer to do anything to spare Jean the pain.

Jean was the only reason he didn't leave with Kevin. The night that Kevin fled, Jean was too fragile to move. Jean had lost too much blood and couldn't stand. Kevin was frantic that night, screaming at Nathaniel to hurry before they were caught. Nathaniel made a choice in that moment, he chose Jean over Kevin and it was a choice he paid the price for almost every night.

#all for the game #the foxhole court #neil josten #aftg #tfc #fan fiction #i feel like some of this is super like fake trying to be deep #idk im bored

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mysoftboybensolo · 7 years

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Short story, I loved Beauty and the Beast remake, and instead of doing a review, I am just going to write stuff that I either noticed and/or liked.

There will be spoilers, so that is why I am writing them beneath the line.

1) I am so glad they corrected the whole 21st birthday thing as well as to why the villagers did not know about the castle.

2) I really enjoyed the intro, some people didn’t, but I loved that we really got to see just how the Prince really acted, and he was so gaudy as fuck. And the imagery of the one dark figure among the many figures of white, really symbolic.

3) That transformation looked really painful.

4) I love that they kept that transition from “Who could ever learn to love a beast?” and then into the title and then to Belle’s house, just like the cartoon.

5) There is an actual reason as to why people think she is odd, before it was just like, kind of implied, but here, it really was clear. They think it is weird that a woman wants to read, and that makes you really become more on Belle and Maurice’s side.

6) Jean and Pere Robert are great side characters, and I love that Pere Robert really seemed to have been the only one to truly care for her and Maurice.

7) “Will you jave dinner with me?” “Oh, sorry, but I am busy.” “Seeing someone?” “No.”

8) Lefou being goofy but not a goofy cartoon like character.

9) Maurice’s and Belle’s relationship, you can really tell they love each other.

10) Belle is an inventor, and she wanted to help teach girls, even if it meant one girl at a time, but those damn villagers.

11) “Mama said I wasn’t supposed to move. Sorry.” “That’s alright.” Quickly gets up to run away.

12) Kevin Kline was just so awesome as Maurice, let’s be real.

13) I like that we see Belle do some house work; not that I mean she has to be a simple housewife, but it was worrisome to me that in the cartoon that all that it seemed she did was read. At least here we see she does do some dirty work.

14) They re-wrote the prison scene, but I really liked it. Even though Maurice picked a rose, the Beast wasn’t being a loser that’s like “how dare you?”. It still was about him trespassing, but it also added a level of bitterness that he had, when he said, paraphrasing here, that why should he be the only one to suffer because a rose?

15) Belle being a boss ass bitch and switching her place with Maurice. So awesome.

16) Lumiere and Cogsworth are pretty much as awesome as the original cartoon. Plumette and his relationship was so cute, and it was so endearing/heartbreaking with Cadenza and Madame Garderobe. Plus, they were both two interracial couples! I personally like the designs of Mrs. Potts and Chip, I thought they were adorable.

17) Hearing the notes to “Home” when Belle is presented to her room.

18) The song Gaston was so fun and I think Josh Gad was perfect to lead the song. Plus, love the additional lyrics.

19) Be Our Guest was so colorful. And I am so proud of Ewan Mcgregor for doing a great job of it!

20) I loved the addition of that whenever a petal falls, a part of the castle breaks apart. And also, I love that Belle really got an image or seen what the Prince looks like as a human man, but a child, meaning that she could really love him as he is, and not know that underneath it all is the handsome Dan Stevens.

21) When they quote Shakespeare together it was so cute, and when he is like “Romeo and Juliet? Girl, you need to read more, here.” The adorableness of their scene in the library, when he makes a joke and her squeal of joy.

22) Her reading a poem to him, their snowball fight and the soup scene. These adorable babies!

23) “Maybe we could run away.” AAAAAAWWWWW! :) “Whenever I enter a room, laughter dies away.” aaaawwwww :””””(

24) Gaston is such a dick ass, leaving Maurice to die, hoping to pressure Belle into marrying him. But Agatha comes to save him, and she proves to be a guardian angel to the both of Maurice and Belle.

25) That scene with the magic book and finding out Belle’s past was sad, but it was so sweet when she said “Let’s go home” and he looks happy, because she thinks of the castle as home.

26) Getting the Beast prepared and there is references to the stage show. I love Belle’s dress, I love that it was original and it felt like it was made specifically for her. The dance was just so beautiful, and that moment when he dips her and then lifts her with all those lights, gah! So magical!

27) Her pain when she is leaving the Beast. Sure, she has to go and save her father, but you could see that it does hurt her to leave the Beast too.

28) I loved that the Beast told everyone that he was sorry for not saving them, and it really shows just how sorry he is for how he had acted. And shut up Cogsworth! Him blabbering on about how Belle clearly doesn’t love the Beast RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!

28) We may not have gotten that painful, heartbreaking moment when the Beast says he let Belle go because he loved her, but Evermore was a wonderful replacement. It broke my heart to watch him keep climbing up to watch her leave, as if he has to see her until the very end, and the fact that he stayed up there the whole time, even when the mob comes in, because he is just hoping, with every fiber within him, that she would come back.

29) That fight scene was both awesome and humorous. I was so glad Lefou got the chance to be a good character rather than a stock villainous character. Also, let’s give props to the added line, “There’s a beast, running wild, there’s no question, but I fear the wrong monster’s released.” Like DAMN!

30) “Did you honestly think she’d want you?” And that is why your arrows were taken away Gaston. And that is also why you got a pretty awesome death scene.

31) The Beast when he yelled “Belle” and I honestly loved it when he told her that she should stay there, that he will come to her. The Beast had been shot at, no doubt in pain and is so far away from her, and yet he is willing to risk it in order to be with her. And that line, “I am not a beast”, so badass and wonderful. And still, his insistence to get to Belle, ugh, what a pull at the heartstrings.

32) "You came back." “Of course I did. I'll never leave you again.” “I'm afraid it's my turn to leave." “But we're together now, everything will be fine.” “At least I got to see you one last time..” Ouch!

33) Watching the staff slowly become objects was so heartbreaking, especially when Garderobe and Cadenza finally got to see each other and they lose each other.

34) I love that there were no words for the Transformation scene, that everything we need to know what they are feeling is read in their faces and how lovely their kiss was. How adorable it was to see the staff returning to their human selves and reuniting with their loved ones.

35) “What is it” “How do you feel about a beard?” (this is said jokingly people, calm it the fuck down) *gives one damn sexy growl*

Overall, I loved the movie and I definitely want to see it again. The music was beautiful, even the new songs, the costumes were familiar and yet refreshing, and it was beautifully acted. Next time, I will post some headcanons I have of the Beast/Prince’s backstory.

#Disney #beauty and the beast 2017 #post #rant

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