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jodilin65 · 31 years

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WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31, 1993 I just had an awesome idea and believe me, I’ll be one pissed puppy if it doesn’t work. Well, I’ve been wanting very much to type in my journals here and there. Of course, I cannot fit the book into the roller, so I thought maybe I’d cut some pages out, then staple them, then glue or tape them back in, but that may be hard to do. Maybe what I could do instead, is type on other paper, cut to the size of the pages in here, then glue those in. Why not? It’d be something different for a change and that can’t hurt. I’ve highlighted the entry dates of the first 20 journals. I also have a lot to tell, so I’ll go cut paper and begin typing some stuff.

Later…

I’m not gonna type too much after all cuz I’m getting very tired. Will I sleep? I don’t know, but today I sure didn’t sleep much. Those fucking lawnmowers! How nice it is to know that that’s my last morning having to listen to that shit.

To pick up in order from where I left off, well, I was sure to knock on the door a few times here and there for the bitch next door. This is last night.

When I got up yesterday I called food stamps and told them of my new address. They’re gonna send some stuff in the mail. I still need to call SS and some of my friends to let them have my new phone number. The 863 prefix is the same one Bob had in Turners Falls. I tried to get the last 4 digits to be 1994, but I was told that if she had it, it’d be considered a custom number and that there’d be a charge for it, so I forgot about it. I know good things are going to happen in ’94.

I called to let Tammy know my new address and number and Bill answered. He was all giggly and happy about who knows what, then he jokingly calls out, “Hey Tammy, the stripper’s on!”

I got this kit in the mail under a phony name. It’s got lots of colored photos and all kinds of animals and stories about them. I also got a Passover card in the mail from Mom and Dad.

I went over at one point to pick up Andy’s laundry and he was on the phone long distance. I was a bit annoyed cuz he said he had it ready, so I slammed my way out of his place and back into mine. Next door oughta have loved that as I knew she was in bed and her lights were off and her truck was outside.

The next minute my phone rang and I expected it to be Andy. I said, “What! I thought you were gonna stick it in the door and I’d just quickly come in and grab it and then you could go back to your phone call.”

It was Dad saying something about sticking something somewhere. I was cracking up cuz I wasn’t expecting a call from him. I did leave them a message, but they’re not usually up at 12:30 (their time). I talked to both of them, and yes, Ma acted like the fight we had over the phone never happened. I gave them the number and address.

After that, I went over to get his laundry and I made really sure to slam my way in and out of here.

Andy was up later than he thought he’d be and he called me with a great idea. An apartment complex has a maintenance number to call where you punch in your number, so I punched in Andi’s. I also knocked really loud and clear at 1:30. Even Andy could hear that real well. He could hear it through the walls as well as through the phone.

Scott stopped up earlier but only for a second. He was in the truck that’s gonna move me which is a huge pickup. One of his employees was driving and he’ll be helping with the move. I’ll probably be moving this weekend.

I had a nice, yet strange conversation with Keri today at Crystal Creek, but I’ll write about it another time.

My folks didn’t have too many questions about the new apartment, as happy as I know they are for me. It sounds like Tammy told them about it. I left a message saying it was a 900-square-foot, 2-bedroom/1-bath but they never asked me how much the rent was.

I’m gonna listen to music now and try my damnedest to fall asleep. I’ll expand on other little things some other time.

TUESDAY, MARCH 30, 1993 The lawnmowers never came today, but sure enough, it was made up for. At 11:30, I was woken up (I went to bed at 5:30) by banging below me. I was thinking Stacey or someone else with her went into Dave’s place knowing he wasn’t home to bang his bedroom ceiling under my bed. I’m not sure if this was the case, but like they have one problem after another, a main pipe broke today. We had no water for about 10 hours. Tomorrow will be the lawnmowers and if the next day isn’t the parking lot sweepers, it’ll be something else.

I have great news about the apartment, but I’ll write about it later.

Later…

God, I wish this cold would quit and give it up!

Right after I was kindly woken up, I paged Scott who called right back. He told me he found out I owed money on a $66 electric bill in MA. I never knew I had an outstanding bill with the electric company in MA, so obviously it was a fuck-up, thanks to fuel assistance.

I spoke with a really nice girl named Keri at the office who so kindly broke the rules to give me the information I needed. She said don’t tell anyone cuz her manager would be upset. I’m going to write a check to the electric company and give it to Keri who’s gonna mail it off for me. She’ll photocopy the check for proof that I’ve cleared it up. I get a feeling that the girls in this office will all be as nice as Paula and Judy. I hope so.

I will be moving Thursday, Friday or Saturday and I called SRP and APS. APS is the electric company there and I must bring them a deposit of $117. Scott’s helping me financially with the first month and I’ll type for him.

Tomorrow I must call the phone company, as well as food stamps and SS. I already filled out a change of address form. My mail will go over there this Saturday. He has a truck and people to help me move.

MONDAY, MARCH 29, 1993 Naturally, I’m wide awake and probably will be for hours to come. Maybe it’ll be a little peaceful around here tomorrow as far as the lawnmowers are concerned. It’s raining. If I move on the 1st, I hope it rains all the way through till when I get over there. Keeps the lawnmowers away, as well as the parking lot sweepers which are due to return any day.

Everyone’s vibes are different. Andy feels me staying till my lease is up (although that’s what he’d want). Kara says the second week of April. John says April 1st with a slight possibility of April 2nd. I don’t know what to feel, but put it this way - do I feel myself being here in May? No, thank fucking God.

I called John earlier and we chatted a bit. Tomorrow he’ll call Stacey.

I also called Nervous to play a little detective for me. This is gonna sound funny but it’s been picking at me for some time now. When I was living on Oswego St. in 1987 or 1988, Tammy “slipped” and told me a little secret. My sister’s 35 and I’m 27 and so she says that after she was born and before I was born, mom had a miscarriage. My question is, why is it such a big secret? Why the cover-up? Lots of women have miscarriages. I questioned mom about it and she flat-out refused to discuss it. She pulled her “easy way out” line telling me she never looks back on her past. This is why she stayed screwed up year after year. Cuz she never had the guts to admit, face, and deal with her past to help deal with the future. My mother’s a rather weak individual, I’m sorry to say.

A number of things went through my mind. It could be a number of things. Lots of things back then were covered up and hidden. Today more things are exposed and talked about. Stuff like rape, child abuse (emotional, physical and sexual), domestic abuse, adultery and divorce. The woman could’ve been raped. She could’ve had an affair even though I’m 99.9% sure neither one of them ever did. But people are learning, including myself, never to be so sure and take anything for granted. Even those you least expect to do whatever can surprise you.

I remember my sister-in-law Sandy. She was 8 months pregnant and got in a car accident. It was stillborn, but under the Jewish laws (I guess) it was “old enough” to be named and buried. I think it was Sarah Ann. Could something like this have happened to my mom? It could all mean nothing, but my gut tells me to check it out anyway. Nervous is gonna check the gravesite.

SUNDAY, MARCH 28, 1993 What in the world happened to Scott!? Early this afternoon we were supposed to pay a lovely visit to the credit company. After only 4 hours of sleep, I paged him at noon and I’ve never heard from him all damn day. The guy must’ve been super busy. I hope nothing’s wrong.

I am so tired, but just too restless to sleep. I need to sleep badly, too.

Kara was cracking up when I told her about my going off on Andi for 3 hours. I only heard her at 9:30 tonight for about 10 minutes. She’d better be really fucking quiet tomorrow.

I want to hurry up and get this move over with. My only fear is finding some sort of nasty surprise there, but Scott’s been there long enough, so if he says it’s quiet, it’s quiet. It’s just that noise seems to go where I go.

I’m definitely gonna ignore my neighbors, but I’d like to maybe know who’s below me and next to me. Scott has two apartments next to him on both sides of him. I have only 1 apartment next to me. They’re between Scott and me.

John’s gonna call Stacey Mon., but it’s obvious she doesn’t want a subleaser in here. She cares more that I stay than for John to move in and pay a little over $300, whereas I pay $277. Hey, it’s her loss, not mine.

Later…

I am now in one hell of a foul mood. I’m tired of this fucking waiting game. There have been too many places I’ve been psyched to leave and had to play the fucking waiting game. I should just stop waiting and stop trying to get out of here. If I’m not moved by the 1st I’ll go get my $70 and look for a place that does no credit check.

And also, if I don’t get to L.A. by May, I’m not going at all.

Scott called today from the airport. He flew in with some attorneys for a meeting once again with the IRS. I know this guy is busy, but I can’t handle the stress of waiting and hoping. I’m just gonna have to be here for a while and deal with the bitch next door. She was quiet yesterday, but today the butch had 7 people over from 1:30-5:30. These two kids were slamming her door and screaming outside, throwing rocks. At one point I went down to Mary’s as she was taking me to the store. I slammed her door 4 times cuz we’re both so fucking fed up with her. When we returned I called Mary a little later. She said Andi went down and said to Mary, “I hope you weren’t slamming the door in regards to me. I have nothing against you. I don’t care about the one next door, but I hope we don’t have any problems.”

Mary told her the truth; that she was fed up with the slamming and the banging. Mary was trying to study.

She said Andi said, “Yeah, I understand that but I already told the kids about the door.”

Yeah, well the “one next door” has a hell of a treatment in store for her, but I’ll write about it later. If I’m stuck here, she’s gonna have to shut the fuck up and stay that way. I even called the cops, especially cuz I wanted a police report, but they split right after I called. So, I called 911 back and told them to cancel.

Why doesn’t this bitch just go on vacation? She told me she was gonna for many weeks when I first moved in here, so what happened? I wish she’d either go on vacation or get stuck in the hospital for a while. A broken bone may do that, and I’ve got one plan. Anyone who knows that for me to resort to such an extreme, I’ve gotta be pissed! I’ve had enough! She’s gonna be mincemeat!!

SATURDAY, MARCH 27, 1993 At 11:00 I fell asleep and I awoke at 1:00. I’m coughing and congested, so I took that raunchy-tasting cough syrup. It’s made me very drowsy so hopefully, I’ll fall back asleep soon. I’m very tired and I’m gonna need my sleep with the way weekends are so noisy here.

I just spoke to John and he called the office today asking for Stacey. Judy said she wasn’t there. He’ll call back tomorrow to speak to Judy or Paula, but I don’t think John’s gonna live here. That may be for the better, though.

John’s birthday is April 2nd and I want to get or make him a card. He really is a good friend and I’m glad I met him.

Not the Friday that just went by but Friday last week, I went to Scott’s complex in the early afternoon. I brought my work stuff with me. I filled out an application at the office and that’s when I was shown the apartment I put down $70 to hold it. One problem, though. When she ran my credit check she said I owe someone money. By law, even though it’s my credit report, she couldn’t say who it was or how much. She did say it was one thing and nothing drastic. She gave me the name of Credit Data Southwest to get it cleared up, as the girl who applied for the same apartment wasn’t likely to get it. She said things don’t look too good for this girl.

I have no idea what it is, but I have a few theories. It could be stuff I’ve ordered through the mail, which Scott says they can’t prove. It could also be from when I was in the ER in Norwich. They always screw up their billing and of course, I have Medicaid and Medicare. Two days ago Scott and I drove around looking for the place, but by the time we found it, it was closed. Tomorrow afternoon we’re gonna go to this place and I sure as hell hope it can be cleared up quickly cuz as of today, my apartment is ready. I must transfer my phone, electricity, food stamps and call good old SS. Gotta call my bank, too.

So, the day I saw the apartment, Scott took me to work and picked me up. I was gonna stay overnight there to see how quiet it is, but I couldn’t breathe. His roommate and his girlfriend were asleep, but I could smell the stench of mold coming from their room. There’d been a leak in the ceiling in there which had molded and it was to be taken care of the next day. Plus, these people are slobs and he’s finally kicking them out. Lastly, I can’t handle being around more than one cat.

So, during the two hours I was there, we ate hot dogs and he showed me his stamp collection and his drawings. Then, he drove me home.

His cat is a female that’s gray. My cat’s all black. A male cat and he’s gonna get it neutered and declawed. His cat’s spayed and declawed. My cat (Mystery) is very lovable and friendly. I miss having a cat. God answered my prayers on that one. While I’m asleep he can stay in the spare bedroom.

Scott repairs government homes that people lost due to drug busts or cuz they weren’t making their mortgage payments. This is why he can get lots of furniture for free. I sure do miss my soft full-wave waterbed and he says every 1 out of 4 homes has one. That’ll be great and I’ll put this twin bed in the spare bedroom. Meanwhile, he gave me a beanbag (he had 3). He’s also gonna put a ceiling fan in my bedroom.

Later…

I am extremely exhausted. Scott never called and I tried paging him, too.

Kara came over for the first time in a month. She made us coffee and we listened to some tapes. She brought cigarettes, too. She also killed a spider and checked and Windexed my kitchen window. I have not had the guts to open it since I found that huge spider. There was a hole in the screen that she taped.

I had a very nice chat with my niece Lisa, too.

FRIDAY, MARCH 26, 1993 Well, I guess John must have gotten busy at work at Circle K. He hasn’t called back yet. He works part-time at Circle K which is like a 7/11 convenience store. He also drives the cab part-time. He’s gonna call the office tomorrow and ask Stacey why she lied to me about his coming in to take my apartment Knowing her, she’ll be like, “Oh, I recognize you and we did speak as I now recall. Your application was accidentally misplaced.”

Believe it or not, I’m sort of developing a crush on Stacey. She’s getting awfully fun to play with. And go off on. Especially when I know I can get away with it. She gets a kick out of it and about 4 nights ago I came up with a great idea. I said to myself, “OK, Stacey. You wanna play? I can play and bullshit right back.”

At 2:30 in the morning last Monday or Tuesday, I called the office knowing I’d get the machine. This is what I said: “Hi, this is Jodi and this message is for Stacey. Thank you so much for the stuff you left outside my door. I just got home and discovered it. I was shocked, but that was very nice of you as I just ran out of the brand I usually use.”

I was referring to the hair stuff, of course, and I figured she’d ask about it out of normal curiosity. I would’ve said what it was and that a card, which I already threw out with the garbage had been attached saying: From Stacey, at the VV office.

Amazingly enough, she never ever questioned me to find out just what in the hell I was talking about. Not even when I went into the office today to get my collector’s plate that came in the mail. Only she and Judy were there at that time. Maybe she didn’t want to bring it up in front of Judy.

I noticed Judy’s hair was up in a banana clip, so after half an hour I returned with one I don’t want. They get stuck in my hair so I gave them to her. Stacey was talking to an old man who lives here.

I’d have had 3 plates, but I only have two cuz one broke. I have a cat looking into a mirror and one of a little girl looking into a pond with flowers all around her. The one that broke was of a white Angora cat surrounded by purple flowers.

Later…

I wish my cold would hurry up and pass. At least this time it’s a cold and not the flu and the fever’s gone, but my throat is still a little sore. I’m also very very congested. Damn, I wish I could quit smoking! I’m trapped till I die on that one, though.

At around 5:30, I fell asleep and I woke up to the thunderstorm we had at noon. That’s fine with me, though. It’s pouring pretty heavily out there now and it’s chilly. It’s about 15º cooler than it has been. A pretty drastic change from how it’s been the last month. At least it’s not constantly changing every day like New England weather does.

There are only two things I don’t like about my new apartment I have no glass sliding shower door. I have to get a shower curtain that blows all around and sticks to you. There’s also no roof above my patio. Here I can usually leave my door open during the rain, but there I won’t be able to. At least it does not rain too often here, so I can leave my windows open while I’m asleep or out and not have to worry.

Anyway, let me back up to a couple of weeks ago. I think, but I’m not sure, it was a Friday night that I’d reached my final straw with the bitch next door banging. I said that’s it! I’m gonna give it right back. I screamed and pounded the walls for nearly 3 hours.

Mary and Dave were sitting outside talking. Mary explained to Dave why I was going off cuz right before I did, I called her to tell her what was coming.

The next day Dave left a note by my door. It said: I heard you last night and I’m sorry someone disturbed your sleep. I understand as I used to work 2nd and 3rd shifts. I was playing music and burning candles and incense. If this bothers you, please call me.

He gave me his number and I called and left a message explaining the ass next door.

Ever since that night, she’s been much quieter. I mean, like 90% quieter.

Mary’s been up a few times and we’ve also chatted on the steps, so I’m sure she’s overheard exactly how I feel. Also, anytime she tap dances, I’m gonna dance right back.

I don’t know if I wrote about this, but a week or so ago, I called one of the two maintenance numbers here, so whoever was to answer wouldn’t recognize my voice. I said, “This is Andrea C and my toilet’s overflowing and there’s water everywhere.” A half-hour later, one of the guys knocked, but I don’t think she answered. I’m sure it woke her up, though.

Dave downstairs is an excellent neighbor. I only woke up once to his closet door, but I nicely explained how well that can rock the place on his machine. One night we got to chatting for a while and he invited me down for some pizza. That was nice. He also called last night to see if I’d be awake at 5:30. He’s having a woman with a little monster come over. He said to call if it gets to be too much, but I think I can handle it knowing I’m moving and I am awake. Drowsy cuz of my cough syrup, but awake.

Later…

I still presently have a few more subjects to write about that I left off with in the previous journal. However, this cold is still nagging me, so I’ll probably write later.

My stomach is growling for food. I’m gonna go eat now as at least I have somewhat of an appetite. Then, I’ll watch TV, listen to music and write letters. Probably yack on the phone, too.

Later…

I am watching America’s Most Wanted now.

I spoke to Tammy earlier and I’m gonna have Scott call her. She’s in a really desperate financial crisis now. Maybe she can type for him.

I’m disappointed that it’s only a myth that exotic dancers make big bucks. Maybe in Vegas or Hollywood, but not here too often. I know all the girls bitch about how little they usually make and that it’s not just me. I wish it was me, though, so I could correct whatever was wrong.

Well, I’m gonna go continue with my TV shows and I’ll write later.

THURSDAY, MARCH 25, 1993 I am so happy and so pissed at the same time.

I’ve had my final straw with Stacey and she’s gonna get it good this time. Last week John decided to sublease my apartment We called Stacey and she said to come pick up an application. I did and gave it to John one night when he picked me up from work. He called me and told me he filled it out, brought it to the office, spoke briefly with Stacey, and was told she’d process it. I began to have a funny feeling about Stacey fucking with any subleasers to try to keep me here. I called and all 3 girls told me John never came in. But I know John wouldn’t lie and he described what Stacey looks like. That fucking bitch! I’m gonna do just what Scott told me to do. Go in the office with John and have her tell us to our faces that he never came in. You’d think that with the way I’ve gone off on them so many times for so many reasons, they’d say, “We don’t want a bitch like her here.” I know exactly why Stacey wants to keep me here. For one or both of the following reasons. To irk me, as she knows I do not like it here and why. I told her I was fully aware of her ordering Gordy to yack really loud outside my window early in the morning, not that I’d expect her to admit it. I also told her that with or without a subleaser, I’m out of here. Overall I’ve been pretty lucky with neighbors (at least back east I was when you get the NHA out of the picture), but with landlords and apartment managers, it’s been a whole different ball game. If it was the other way around and they knew I loved it here, I bet she’d try to evict me. I’m literally her fucking source of entertainment. She gets off on me going off.

I have another possible motivation on her part which others suggested to me when she pulled her first episode with me last October. I think it’s a combination of both, though. I’ve heard she’s married, but even if she wasn’t and if she were attracted to a female, she’s too conservative to act on it. She surely seems the type who could never bring herself to go with a woman no matter how much she was attracted to them. Maybe I’m the first one, she’s not used to the feeling, and it’s freaking her out. When people can’t act on their attraction and get positive attention, they’ll try getting negative attention. People desperate for sex or friendship like Nervous, Fran and Ellie surely do stuff like that. But Stacey is a different kind in that same group of people. To tell you the truth, I’d be somewhat flattered if she liked me. She’s no one I’d ever have a relationship with because she’s too much of a bitch, but I’d have sex with her.

Last Friday Scott took me to his complex to fill out an application for a 1-bedroom, but there were no top-floor 1-bedrooms available. All they had were first and second floors. No way. So, the subject of a 2-bedroom/1 bath came up for $500 a month. Even if I made $600 a month at work, plus my $444, I could swing the rent, electricity and phone. However, Scott will be paying $200 of my rent for me to type for him. This is good anyway, as SS would surely wonder how I can pay $500 for rent, plus the electricity and phone out of $444 a month. The rental lease to prove what my rent is can easily be changed. I simply white out the $500 and reprint $325. Then, I photocopy it.

So, I saw a vacant apartment two doors away from Scott’s that’ll be ready on the 27th of this month. It’s gorgeous! It’s about 900 square feet and it’s sort of laid out like the 2-bedrooms here. The master bedroom is by the highway which is fine with me as highway noise is kind of soothing. The other bedroom’s at the opposite end of the apartment on the other side of the building, and yes it’s even closer to the pool. That’s OK, though, as where I’m gonna sleep is far from the pool and that’s where the highway noise is. At the other end of the apartment where the other bedroom is, are the sounds of the waterfalls. It’s a very long apartment and the kitchen is sort of like the ones here in the 1- and 2-bedrooms. It’s wider and you can reach through and over a counter into the living room. Sort of like a little bar-like thing, and I want to get stools. The other wall’s solid cuz behind it is outside.

The security guard lives below me and is on a night schedule, too. The office is next to me, but not directly attached to me. They’re on the ground at an angle. There’s someone next to me on the side where my kitchen and living room wall is, but it’s fine as the wall’s solid concrete. Also, the apartment’s so big that they’re not right next to you. In this studio building, everyone’s next to each other cuz the apartments are so small and so close. It’s like living in a house here, rather than your own apartment

There’s no way I’ll be so able to hear footsteps and banging so much. Even if there were a kid next to me, although I prefer there not to be, it wouldn’t be such a problem.

My apartment is even bigger than Scott’s cuz he loses the extra space in his second bathroom. I make it up in living room space. His stairs are on the poolside of the building. Mine are on the highway side. I have a huge sliding glass door at the end of the living room. One window in the master bedroom and two in the other. They’re corner windows close together and it’s so cool looking. One goes directly outside and the other onto my patio. My storage closet’s not on my patio. It’s right outside my front door, but that’s fine in case I encounter any unwanted visitors in it. Easier to sweep it out, too. It’s locked, but I’ll be sure I don’t put any valuables in it.

Later…

In half an hour or so from now, John will be calling, so I’ll write till then. Andy will probably call, too. At the same time as everything happens at once. While I was in the shower today, Andy, Scott, and some magazine publisher called.

Once again I questioned Andy about the hair care products and TV guide left by my door. He swears he has no idea about it. No clue at all. It makes no sense that someone I know wouldn’t tell me if they left it. It also makes no sense for a stranger to drop it by my door. Only people who know me know my hair is my life and that I use TV guides. My TV guides now come in the mail.

Thank God Pete, our regular mailman is back.

Andy played me a message Velma left him for me. It said, “Tell your friend I will order a straightening iron for $14.95 if she wants.” Just as I was about to say something, Andy asked what I was about to say. A straightening iron (especially a rare kind hardly ever sold in stores) costs from $20-$30, so this is her way of settling fairly with me. I told Andy to tell her that I’ll tell him when to have it ordered some time after I move.

I guess Andy just had a money problem with Velma, too. He’s using some furniture of hers. A double bed, a TV stand, small table, two chairs, and that big chair. She said she’s selling it to him for $175 and she wants $85 of it now! He told her he didn’t have $85 on him even though $175 is a great price for all the furniture. So, she whined, bitched and complained, taking it oh so personally. Then Velma bitched about her phone being disconnected. Andy asked why not take all that money she has in her Cadillac fund, but she wouldn’t budge.

TUESDAY, MARCH 23, 1993 I have an awful lot to write about so I’ll get a move on it.

Once again I’ve been cursed with the flu. I am feverish with a sore throat, but at least I’m not puking. The doctor called in stuff for my flu and my pap results came back OK. Thank God.

Angel and Brian took me food shopping yesterday.

Oh, on the 16th I was hired at the Mile High and I worked Thursday and Friday. Shockingly and disappointingly enough, the money’s no better than Sha Na Na’s. At least the girls are nice and there’s no tip out. All I do is tip the DJ 10% of what I make. I’ll also save on my $5 cab fares whenever the hell I move cuz Scott can usually drive me.

I really want Scott and Andy to sit down and talk about all the stuff Scott’s told me. Andy feels Scott’s too good to be true, but he’s that way with everyone. Plus, if I had any funny feelings I’d have walked away and never gotten involved. He’s also had plenty of chances to hurt me if he were that way. When Andy first met Scott, even he was saying how cool a person he seems. There are a lot of interesting things to be written about Scott which I’ll do another time. In the meantime, do I think he’s gonna rape me? No. Do I think he’s gonna drop off the face of this earth? No. And even if he did, with my $444 from SS and $600 - $800 from the Mile High, I can swing my rent at Crystal Creek. I also met Scott’s parents at their retirement home.

I know why Andy’s acting this way. He does this whenever things go well for me and people do things for me he wishes they would do for him. He’s both happy for me as well as jealous. I’m moving earlier and then there’s Capitol. Speaking of that, he’s had 3 posters made up of the picture I gave him. It normally costs $1,000 but since he knows a photographer, he’s paying $500. That is very kind of him. I said really loud in the bar, “You paid $500 to have me blown up!” Some people got a kick outa that one!

Bob’s getting into envelope decorations, too. How nice. He’s sent 3 so far. Fran got the 3 journals. I’ll write more later. I am just too feverish and dizzy right now to sit up and write.

THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 1993 I just killed a spider and decided to write now. I need to stay up till at least 2:00 cuz I don’t want to wake up earlier than 10:00. I just paged John and Scott, but I got no calls yet.

Yesterday after Andy and I had T-bone steaks, stuffing, and corn here for dinner, I scrubbed down the kitchen area, but I need to dust, vacuum and clean the bathroom.

Scott was over about 5 nights ago. He’s dealing with undependable elderly people, trying to get them into my place. He knows tons of people but he hasn’t got the time to contact them about getting in here.

I let him hear some edits as well as a few of his own that I edited from messages he left me.

He talked to Bill about a picture of me. Bill said he’s only interested in the voice, but promotions may want to see if the “girl” is marketable. I gave Scott one of me in a black dress. Behind me were the blinds on my sliding glass door. He knows a photographer personally and he’s gonna have it blown up and have the blinds taken out and an ocean replaced as my background.

Last night I spoke to John. He wants out of his place, as the people above him stomp on his head all day. He’s gonna let me know about taking over my place, but I don’t have a great vibe on that one.

A couple of days ago Andy called me wanting me to hear a message someone left him to see if I knew who it was. All she said was, “Hi, talk to you later.” I said it sounded like Ellie’s voice. He agreed. So, yesterday afternoon he told me he was over at her place trying to convince her to call me, but she wouldn’t. He called me after and said her place was wide open (patio door & window) and he could’ve easily climbed down into her patio which is partially underground like a cellar. Then, he suggested we go over there and we did.

She flipped and ran into her bedroom and shut the bedroom door. All the while screaming mainly at me. I told him to climb into her place, but cuz it was broad daylight he wouldn’t. We ran to her bedroom window trying to convince her to call me, but she kept running at the mouth.

We left and we agreed he’d go to her place and that he’d call me. She will invite him in, too. I only hope she doesn’t have blocks, as she seems the type who’d get them. Meanwhile, we got her apartment number. I never knew her last name which I guess begins with a C. That’s OK, though, cuz as long as I got her apartment number I’ll type Eloisa and a last name beginning with a C.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 17, 1993 As of yesterday, Andy’s been here for two years. I’ve been here 9 months and 8 days.

I have so many topics to discuss, so I’ll just run right down the list.

Yesterday at 4:30 PM Andy took me to the Mile High Club where Crystal (Scott’s girlfriend) works. Even from the outside, before we went inside, I could see how much classier it is. The inside is so much nicer. Classier, fancier and bigger. There’s only one huge stage and that’s good, so we have more time to get table dances.

A guy named Mark, who seems very nice, hired me. First, we spoke and then I danced to a Madonna song. I wasn’t one bit nervous. Just like at Sha Na Na’s the girls seemed very nice and said don’t hesitate to ask any questions.

The dressing room’s so much bigger and nicer. We won’t have to be climbing over each other and we even have our own lockers. This is great, and I’ll use my combination lock so I don’t have to keep my key on me. It’s also nice that I won’t have to lug all my shit home with me every night. Just the stuff I need to wash.

It’s still under the table and you have no bar tip! All you’re recommended to give is a little something to the DJ.

I’ll be working Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday from 6 PM - 1 AM. I’ll be doing Andy’s laundry for him once again, in exchange for rides to work. Steve, who I just paged, will be picking me up. I gave him my schedule and he’s still gonna flat rate me $5. It’s normally an $8 - $10 fare.

The two months of experience at Sha Na Na’s sure helps. When Mark said not to forget my latex, it was good to be able to say, “I know,” instead of, “What’s that?”

Later…

I just had half of a cigarette. They’re long 120s. Now I’m microwaving bacon.

I got another kitten plate in the mail, so now I have two. They’re cute.

A guy named Greg whom I met at the pool last summer was gonna take me to the doctor, but Angel and Brian were available to do it. I gave them $3, some coffee and some hot chocolate.

Later…

About my doctor’s appointment, well, it was a little surprising. First of all, he ended up doing an unexpected pelvic exam which didn’t hurt at all. I am infected and I’ve got to call them Fri. as well as figure out what to do. The doctor says it hasn’t been treated right. Well, that’s obvious since no creams or antibiotics would work. My tits are fine. Just the usual obnoxious soreness and swelling before my period. My luck will be that I’ll get my period for my first night of work.

My allergies and asthma are much better than they were from mid-October to late January, but November and December were the worst months.

I’m starting to feel more comfortable with this doctor. It usually takes a while. He was shocked when I told him about the dancing as he’s only seen my shy side that only comes out with doctors. Everyone who knows me knows I’m far from shy.

Stacey explained how it works for a subleaser. They’d pay $297 and they’d have 8 months added on after June 30th. Speaking of Stacey, well, so she seems friendlier to my face, but it’s ironic how Gordy talks really loud by my bedroom window at 7:30 in the morning. Maybe it’s Stacey’s orders or on maintenance alone. But, then again, Andy got the same shit when he was working 3rd shift before I ever got here.

The weather was funny today. It’s been in the 80s for two weeks. Today and yesterday it even felt a little muggy and I had the AC on here and there. Right now it’s beautiful, dry and not too cool or too hot, but I think it’s gonna rain. New England’s now having what they’re calling the storm of the century. I mean, they haven’t had this much snow since the late 60s - early 70s. They have over two feet all through the east coast! Lisa and Becky’s school has been canceled. What perfect timing for me to get the hell out! I’d be stranded and even more of a caged animal, even if I did have a car.

Andy and Tammy had an excellent talk with me listening without Tammy’s knowledge. It was funny how Tammy said Becky said, “This boy Kenny. I think he has a black face, but I like him anyway.”

They talked about the weather, my dancing and this and that. Andy mentioned Scott, too. When Andy mentioned my being in shape, Tammy said, “At least one of us is.”

Then, when I went to signal him to hang up I didn’t want to hit buttons on the phone, so I slammed my closet door. He said, “I hear someone slamming their closet door and it doesn’t bother me, but it’d make Jodi furious.”

Tammy says, “After Norwich, it sure would.”

Earlier today I spoke to mom for the last time in a while. She’s such a never-ending, never-changing bitch. They’re happy I’m happy dancing, but in her eyes, I’m just never good enough no matter what I do and I’m sure she expects me to fall flat on my ass and fail. Yeah, I’ve failed and given up on stuff before, but that was then, this is now. I appreciate all her material and financial help, but I need a break from even talking to the bitch. Dad and Tammy are a whole different ball game. They’re very supportive and positive.

Mary’s coming up from downstairs, so I’ll write later.

Later…

I just reorganized my workbag. It’ll be easier using the combination lock and hanging some of my costumes up on the hooks inside my locker. Until I have more shoes and more G-strings, all I’ll take home in a smaller bag will be my shoes and G-strings and stockings to wash. I don’t remember, but I hope there’s a shelf in the locker for my little stuff like makeup, deodorant, brush, money, etc.

I have a half-hour before I watch TV, so I’ll write about Mary’s visit.

Before I do, though, I blasted out the post office today. A million others here, along with the office have too. Pete left and we haven’t a regular carrier yet and they’re screwing up everyone’s mail. I’m missing a phone bill, I believe. I also think I may be missing my TV guide. I left a note saying, “Put my damn mail in my box. Not on top of all the mailboxes and not in someone else’s!”

I also got a call that was out of area, according to my box. It probably was Fran or Nervous, but I left Fran a message to let me know if he got the journals.

Leanne hasn’t called, but Julia did. She was crying cuz she was upset with some guy. She said, “I don’t mean to keep you hanging. I can’t say I’ll never be with a woman. I’m sure women are better cuz they’re more sensitive, easier to deal with and I’m sure better in bed, but right now I’m so hurt and I don’t want to see anyone.” I told her I was a good listener if she ever wanted to call, nothing’s too blunt or personal, and she can take her time cuz I know exactly how fucked people are.

Mary and I went to the office for part of their 6-foot sub and other goodies, like cake, ice cream and cookies. All this week they’re having things going on due to St. Patty’s day. Yesterday was car wash day. Andy got his washed. Saturday’s free carnations. I think tomorrow’s free coffee and donuts.

I’ll write more about what Mary and I discussed later on after my shows.

MONDAY, MARCH 15, 1993 I am now out on my patio, but it’s too hot and uncomfortable writing with no table. I have moved right inside to my kitchen table.

Scott came over at 10:00 last night. He was unable to go to church as he had to go repair a government home that was broken into.

I wonder, along with him, just how dependable these elderly people are gonna be from his church. He knows a lot of people but doesn’t really have the time to get ahold of them as far as taking over my place.

SUNDAY, MARCH 14, 1993 It is amazing as all hell, but this weekend Andi’s been quiet. She’s been in and out all weekend.

The guy below me is never home which is fine with me.

I hope to hear from Scott by 5:00 or so. I do have a good feeling, but I want to hear him tell me I’m out of here. The office has to approve them and I hope they don’t take their sweet time and stall or get in the way of anything. Since I let Stacey have it last October she hasn’t messed with me, and Paula and Judy are no problem.

I left some edits on Mary’s machine as I said I would. I can’t wait till Scott hears the edits. I’ve told him all about them and I edited him leaving a message on my VM.

The weather’s unlike it has been in the last two weeks. It was in the 80s and very warm. Today’s cloudy and slightly damp and chilly. It’s 77º, but of course, here that feels like 67º. Tonight will be chilly and I may turn my heat on during the very early morning hours. It’ll be the high 40s to low 50s tonight no doubt.

No one’s at the pool today.

Andy fell asleep last night when I called, so we’ll talk later. From 7:00-10:00, I won’t be talking to anyone. There’s a movie I want to see, as well as some other show on channel 3, which we never could figure out how to program into the VCR. It’s nice having Caller ID so I can see who’s calling unless they have blocks.

Just when it looks like the sun’s gonna creep out, it gets cloudy. My patio is so beautiful, though. It’s so green with it being surrounded by trees. I hope my new apartment will have the most private patio as well as the most private and quiet apartment I’m sitting at my table now with my sliding door open. I just realized how wide those doors are in my new apartment I could just yank this table out whenever I want to write outside. I do want to get another table, though.

Well, I’ve got the munchies again, so I shall go eat.

Later…

Right now I’m getting pretty pissed. Scott hasn’t called and I’m tired of playing this waiting game. If no one takes this apartment, I’m moving anyway. The bitch next door’s back to doing her usual tap dance. Although it’s mild, I’m gonna be knocking on the inside of my door the next time I’m up past midnight.

Watch Scott call during tonight’s movie since I can’t record it.

Andy went out to dinner, but a few hours ago he heard my latest edition of edits. Mainly him singing the Funny Farm song and other stuff, Scott, and us coughing.

I did tons of letter-writing today and that’s pretty much all I did. I ate a lot and watched the shows I taped last night.

Nervous and Fran are getting no more letters from me. They never write to me, I’m bored and sick of writing to them as its fun has worn off and that’ll leave me more time to do other stuff. I’ll only write to my parents, Lisa and Becky (who get one letter for both of them), Kim, Bob and Tammy. So, that totals 7 letters, but 5 people. I won’t be writing as often as I have been.

SATURDAY, MARCH 13, 1993 I hope Scott calls soon to tell me if he’s got someone taking over my apartment. He called two nights ago saying he spoke to several people and he’s got positive news. I hope so. This morning he left a message saying he’d call right about now or tomorrow.

Christina, the housekeeper, left me a huge box with smaller boxes inside them. I’ve told several people to leave me boxes if they can.

Friday I was at the pool as well as today and the last 4-5 days. I’ve met some nice new people as well as chatted with people I’ve known. Stephanie and I had a great two-hour talk yesterday.

Leanne left a message saying she’d not only been busy with the move but had strep throat. Once again, I’m not bothering with her for the same old reason. She sounds fine now and if she really wanted to see me, she’d have done so by now. Again, you can maybe get lucky enough to have them call and hit it off over the phone, but good luck getting them to your door and following through from there. People, man, I’ll tell ya. If she calls again I’m telling her what I just wrote and that I’m calling it quits.

I left Julia a message, too. No calls from her either.

Andy may call any minute, and due to the fact that everything happens at once, Scott will call at the same time.

My mom left a message right before I awoke at 10:00. A letter to them was returned to me and I left a message asking why. She said she had no idea why and that they were fine. Then, it was pretty funny as she didn’t hang up the phone all the way. The bummer was, though, that she caught it soon enough afterward.

I got some of the color back that I lost, but I’m gonna be careful. I don’t want sun poisoning or skin cancer.

Tonya was over two days ago for a reading. We had a chat for a half-hour or so.

Kara may be returning to Michigan for a while to get her diploma there, then return here to go to the police academy.

I was over at Diane’s again today for coffee. We had a nice chat, too.

It’s a miracle and a half, but Andi was out all day (next door). I hope she doesn’t make up for today’s peace and quiet by flipping out all day tomorrow. That’s all I need unless she goes to church.

I called information last night after realizing I misspelled her name and that’s why I couldn’t get the number. I’m surprised she’s even listed, but I left her some spitting, as well as Mary Had a Little Lamb with the phone keys, and also had Kara say, “Payback’s a bitch.”

I almost forgot, but when I called Julia today, I’d planned on playing Mary Had a Little Lamb after I hit the first 4 keys, but her messages played. How neat. Just like Fran. She had a message to call her from a Barb and one from US West to get caller ID.

Last night Andy and I tried calling Nervous and got no answer. We then called Fran and got his machine. I hit *37 and there was a message from a girl. It appears that once again he took in some creep who ripped him off, but that’ll always be Fran for you. A major sucker. I recorded this girl’s message and edited it onto his machine. He is not gonna be expecting that! Andy and I were cracking up. I did quite a bit of editing today and I promised to leave some on Mary’s machine.

We went grocery shopping, but I’ll write about that later.

A note from Andy…

Andy was here on December 4, 1992. In his living room with his stomach growling because he is starving. The phone just rang and Jodi wants me to cook pork chops. But they take 45 minutes to cook ‘em my way. I am starving do you understand? Last night I drove up to Camelback Mountain to be part of the clouds. I stood for a long while in the drizzle, dreaming of my wanton luxury. Let’s do some handy things together. Thank you, God, for sending my best companion to me!

Later…

Any minute I’ll be chatting with Andy, so I will write till then. That is unless he already fell asleep.

Andy gave me a good idea. He said it’d probably be better for Bill T to see what I look like. And by the way, it’s Bill/Mark Productions. I mentioned this idea to Scott who I spoke to a little while ago. He agreed, so I’m gonna give him a picture of me to send to Bill.

Scott says he’s gonna see these two elderly people in church tomorrow about my place. Let’s hope all goes well, but I do finally have a very very good vibe.

He’s also gonna buy my food stamps from me to send to his son in Michigan. He said this way he knows only food can be bought with it. At the grocery store, I bought (besides food) two new bottles of nail polish. My favorite colors which just dried out; fire engine red and burgundy. A package of 48 colorful envelopes. Wild Musk perfume which is mild and doesn’t set off my allergies as much.

Mary also told me she went to a psychic fair and was told the same things I told her.

I still have no idea as to who left me those hair care products. Everyone I know would tell me they left it if they did, so I guess a stranger left it, but that doesn’t seem right either. Does Andy know something about this? Does it have to do with Velma? He not only sides with those I’m upset with, but he also tries to fix shit between us. More and more he’s bringing up shit about Velma. This really irks me, but I try to ignore it. The last person I want to associate with is a stingy selfish bitch.

I’ll try calling him now. If his machine comes on, then he obviously fell asleep. Then, I’ll go watch all the shows I’ve recorded and write letters.

THURSDAY, MARCH 11, 1993 I’m sitting here by my building on the utility box hoping my cab gets here soon enough and doesn’t forget or get lost. I called Brian and Angel and they said they could probably pick me up if I can’t get a ride again from that new waitress and her mother as I did yesterday. I went over to Brian and Angel’s apartment yesterday. If they’re around whenever I need a ride while I still live here, they’ll drive me.

I’ve been up since 4:30 and I’m somewhat tired. By the time my shift ends, I’ll be beat. Then, if I must work the PM shift tomorrow night, I’ll have to try to hold out at least until midnight.

Not only can I not wait to move, but I also can’t wait to quit Sha Na Na’s and transfer. I know it’ll be deader than dead just like it was yesterday so I brought a notebook. I’ll copy whatever I write into my journal cuz there’s no way I’d bring it to work in case anything happened to it.

God, please let that cab be here on time! They do this shit to me every time I call for one.

I hope Scott does make it in today. I could use a friend coming in there and also one who’ll never let me go home broke.

Unfortunately, I am kind of tired and that sucks. I’ll have to get some coffee as soon as I get there.

Here comes sweet little old Stacey. She said hello in a friendly voice as she walked by with two potential residents. Residents who will never know just how thin the walls are unless they move in.

Later…

I am at work now where there is only one fucking customer! God, I hope Scott comes in!

Luckily my cab driver got there on time, but not Charles. Some other guy came and he hated Vista Ventana and moved, too. I’ve spoken to numerous people who don’t like VV for the same reasons I don’t.

They’re remodeling here. They connected the 3 stages. Good idea. There are more mirrors, too.

I’m now sitting at the back of the bar at a table, thanking God I brought a notebook. If I don’t copy what I’ve written into my journal after work, then I will soon.

Omar was here, then he left, so who knows what the hell’s going on with my schedule? I’ve already done my set, but after two more songs, it’ll be my turn again on stage. There are only 5 girls here right now which doesn’t matter since it’ll be dead. There are Dee Dee, Venus, Debbie, Storm and I. There are way too many girls on the PM shift. That’s for damn sure. There are 3 DJs. Andy, Tracy (who I call Billy cuz he looks like Billy Ray Cyrus) and Phil. Billy was here yesterday. Andy came in for his paycheck and to bum a smoke off of me, not that I mind. Phil’s on today. He asked me what kind of music I like since he’s never DJ’d with me working. I told him I hate heavy metal and to play dance music and country. I named singers I like. I was the first dancer up before our one customer came in. Phil tipped me a buck. Wow, I just noticed we have two more customers. Wowee, like it’ll help much. How do these dancers pay their bills?

Later…

I just did my second set and got $3 for it. Some long-time regular just brought in tons of chicken wings and grinders. That was great cuz I was starving. There are a few more customers in here now and I believe I have a table dance for the next song. There are only 4 customers in here now.

I still have some letter writing to do as well as editing, as always. After I copy this into my journal I’m sure the no-postage-necessary people will want to hear from me.

I just did my much-needed table dance and after the next song, my third set’s up. For the last set, as I was getting on stage, Phil said, “Mystery, you’ve been here two months and I’ve been here two years and we haven’t worked together yet.” Afterward, he complimented me on my dancing. Yes, I can feel and see that difference in my body and my dancing. I’m much more limber.

I’ve only gotten two table dances so far and this really sucks what with how dead it is here. Next song is my fourth set. Each girl’s doing two songs.

I hope Scott comes in. Omar’s back, but he’s busy with the guys who are remodeling.

Later…

Right after I last wrote I went up on stage and Scott came in. If he didn’t come in I’d have $4 after tip out, but he threw $70 on me! How cool, huh?

We had a great talk for an hour or so. He feels I probably will be out on the 15th. He also says he has a really strong feeling within two weeks I’ll be going to L.A. He said if worse comes to worst as far as them taking their sweet time, he will personally take me out to their studios in May.

I just thank God for 95% happiness all the time now, rather than 95% misery.

Scott says my black cat’s doing fine and I came up with the perfect name for him. Especially an all-black cat. My stage name… Mystery.

I hope Kara stopped by to pick up those blankets.

If all goes well, I’ll only have one more weekend of listening to the bitch next door pummel the walls, floors and whatever the hell it is she does to create so much fucking banging.

I’ll be calling Bob during the day Friday. Bob, the bartender, that is. I told him to put me back on 4 nights a week, but no Saturdays or Mondays.

I am just so happy now. I’ve been depressed or anxious only a few times since I’ve been here, but it passed quickly. It was mainly over money. Also wondering what the hell I was gonna do with my life and how the hell I’d ever get a connection with the singing. Thanks to Tonya who started all this. Without her, there’d be no dancing, no money, no peace of mind, no Scott, no Capitol, no new apartment. No, money’s not everything, but it sure does help. If I didn’t want to be a singer or do anything else, this is where I’d stay. Maybe not in this particular club, but I’d never stop dancing.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10, 1993 Yesterday I awoke at 5:00 and I went into Sha Na Na’s for the noon - 6:30 shift and made shitty money. I’m going in at noon today too, and Omar’s going to change my schedule. I cannot work Saturday and Monday.

Scott has round two with the IRS this Thursday. He still doesn’t know where he stands with them.

Still have no idea when my lease will be taken over, but I hope real soon.

For some unknown reason, I got a letter I’d sent to my parents returned to me. I called and left them a message to let me know if they know anything about it.

No calls from Ellie, Julia or Leanne.

Later…

I just put in a personal call to Charles, my new day driver for 11:30. He drives the same cab Steve drives at night.

Andy’s still asleep and God only knows how with the outside noise here and there. Must’ve smoked lots of pot.

Kara will be stopping over to pick up two blankets I don’t want. I left them outside my door. Kara may be going home to Michigan for a while.

Scott called and he may stop in today. Scott’s talking to people today about my apartment.

MONDAY, MARCH 8, 1993 Saturday morning I asked Kara to tell me if she felt I’m gonna move on March 15th or April 1st. She felt the 15th. I sure hope so. Kara’s just as psychic as me and so is John. I always wanted to meet someone at my level to consult with from one psychic to another.

After Kara and I spoke, I called Tammy and she asked me to try to tell her if she’d be getting a job. I wasn’t able to see what the job was, but I felt it was 40 minutes away and required traveling. That much was right. I told her I had a very good vibe for the job. She’d get a call about it Monday between 10 AM-noon and fix whatever may be wrong with her van. I also could see a guy in his 40s, average height and weight, dark hair, slight bald spot, dark eyes, dark-rimmed glasses, and a heavy-set black woman.

I thought I saw her arguing with a blond in a grocery store, but she said she’d had a friendly chat with this woman.

Then, I called Kara and we called her and I told Tammy that Kara’s a lot like me and we consult one another. Kara and I agreed on everything, but one thing. Finally, Tammy told us it was a job doing security. Kara said she saw that as well as carrying a gun. Maybe the reason why I had a strong vibe was cuz she definitely has the looks and the image of a security guard. About as much as I look like a singer and a dancer.

I told her to give up Avon as I see it to be a pain in the ass that’s not profitable. Tammy says she’ll let me know.

Saturday night at around 8:00 I went to the Jacuzzi. Sue, Steve, Angel, Brian, their baby and some other guy were there. We had a nice chat and they were happy for me about the dancing, Capitol, and the new apartment

It’s amazing how many people don’t like it here for the same reasons I don’t. They all complain about the walls being too thin.

If I could’ve slept till 3:00 tonight, I’d have gone to work today from noon - 6:30, but I awoke at 11:20 PM. I still don’t know if I’ll be returning to Sha Na Na’s, typing for Scott, or transferring if he can drive me to and from work while I still live here. He called right before I woke up and said he’d call tomorrow. I hope things rule in his favor.

Last night John called from Circle K and Steve was there too. I spoke to both of them telling them everything’s up in the air at the moment.

I’ll be sending Fran the old little journals. I’ll get 5 stamps from the office today.

I neglected the plant my parents sent me on my B-Day, so I trimmed all the dead leaves. I also took the flowered bow out of the plant and unraveled it. It’s quite long and I’ll use it for some kind of decoration after I move.

I got 3 NPN envelopes and I stuffed in pictures Andy didn’t want.

Andy says Velma is still looking into a straightening iron for me, but I’m not paying for it. She is to pay for it, otherwise, forget it.

Later…

At about 10:00 yesterday morning, I ran into Diane on my way back from my mailbox. She’s the one I’ve seen a couple of times in the laundry room and she met Stephanie. You surely can tell she’s gay, but she’s not pitifully ugly. Not as ugly as the bitch next door. She came up to see my studio, then she invited me to her place for coffee. I was shocked at how clean, neat and well-decorated her apartment is. We sat on her porch and had a nice talk. She’s 29, athletic like most of them are, and sober. Being able to read people well, I figured she was sober. She goes to school and works in the medical records dept. at Baptist Hospital. She also has a car and goes to bed early and gets up early. She’s single now but was once in a relationship for 4 years. I can see that, due to her plain looks and she does seem relationship-oriented. She also seems like a very good, stable, mature person. We exchanged numbers, then I went to the pool. There were several people there. Sharon, who I met in August was there with her little girl and boy. We chatted for a while and I was there for a little over an hour. I did get some color, but not enough to brag about. Tomorrow will be better for hanging out at the pool. No one will be there, but the people who mow the lawns will be out and about everywhere.

I’ll write more after I go eat and boy am I ever hungry.

Later…

I just had two pieces of fried chicken and soon I’ll have another “cough of cuppee.”

What the hell was that that just sounded like something hit the roof?

I haven’t heard at all from Leanne for over a week. She must be either extremely busy or has chickened out. And Andy thought I’d chicken out. Maybe she lost my number during her move. Who knows?

Julia called me a week ago. I’ll call both of them just as soon as I know what’s going on with me.

When the hell am I going to L.A.? John, Kara and I feel it’s positive with a positive outcome. We all feel in a month I’ll be there, but I want to go now!

About a week ago I had a nice chat with my dad about dancing, the apartment and Capitol.

It’s 6:00 back east and Tammy and the rest of the family are getting up around this time. I sure hope in the next 4-6 hours she gets called about that job so I don’t make an ass of myself. I’ve never really predicted events for someone 3,000 miles away, although it’s not impossible.

Another sound from the roof. It sounded like it cracked. Let’s hope not while I’m still here.

Later…

Yes! I called Sprint about that $100 deposit and it was a mistake on their end. She said to disregard the letter. Damn right, I will.

Today I’ll leave that note I said I’d leave on Ellie’s door.

Later…

I just completed another edit tape. It sure is less confusing and much easier dealing with all my tapes now that I finally got them all organized. I left Andy the latest edition of edits on his VM along with tons of other messages. Soon, I’ll tape the 7 saved messages from my VM to be edited. One’s of Scott and the rest are of Andy burping, coughing and singing.

We made a deal that while we weren’t home or were asleep we’d pull our phones off the hook. That way we wouldn’t have to wait for it to ring and ring and our messages would go off after only one ring. I also discovered it’ll skip our messages if we hit the pound key as soon as it starts. There’s only one unfortunate problem with taking my phone off the hook. When I do that my Caller ID doesn’t work cuz it takes at least two rings, whether the ringer’s on or off to activate the Caller ID box. No numbers will appear on the screen. I never know when or who may call with a name and number I wish to know about. Unless they have a blocking option. I hope Ellie calls and has no blocking. After putting the note on her door I must keep my phone on the hook and answer after two rings. If you’re sitting right there looking at the box, you’ll see the number appear. If they’ve got blocks it’ll say, “private name - private number.” It says their name, the date, time of call, and the number. Sometimes it may not register, so it’ll say error. It also has a button on the bottom for English or Spanish.

I think (but I’m not sure) I hear the guy below me. I’ve been very lucky with him so far. He’s never home and is very quiet. Andi next door makes up for him. But I sure hope just the same he can’t hear me at night. I accidentally dropped a plate last night so I hope he’s a heavy sleeper or just doesn’t care. Yes, I definitely hear him now in his cabinets. The floors seem just as thin as the walls. I wonder if he heard the edits while I was recording them on Andy’s VM.

I wish I could get Andi’s number, as well as Rosemarie’s. But when I’m gone they’ll get mail.

Later…

I am shocked at how many people are at the pool today on a Monday. Quite a few. Stephanie, Tara and Linda were there along with others I’ve seen before but I can’t remember their names.

It is hot today at 85º. This feels so weird for it being February 8th and knowing Tammy’s cold back in CT.

I didn’t get too much color. It’s hard to keep up the patience to just lay there.

The mail’s either late or I didn’t get anything. Stephanie says there’s a new mailman.

I swept my patio and ditched my raft. There’s a hole in it somewhere and I’d like to get a bigger raft.

I left a message on Leanne and Julia’s machines.

I sure hope Tammy got that security guard job she wanted and that Scott’s meeting is going well. I spoke to him at 8:30 this morning. He said his meeting begins at 10:30 and probably won’t end till 7:30. I told him to leave a message if I don’t answer. Two people from his church are to be calling him tomorrow about taking over my lease.

Andy left a TV guide and some hair and skin care products outside my door. There were 4 tiny little bottles. There was shampoo, conditioner, bath or shower gel and lotion. That was nice.

Around 9:00 or so I left Ellie her note. At first, I thought she moved, as the table I flipped wasn’t there. Nothing was outside the door, but then I saw her through the sides of the blinds in her kitchen. I still haven’t gotten a call from her. I’m actually surprised she hasn’t called with her being the desperate Fran/Nervous type. We’ll see.

Later…

I am out on my patio now. It is gorgeous. I am beginning to get very very sleepy. Soon I must hit the sack. I will have some coffee then I’ll watch TV till I can no longer keep my eyes open. Writing is almost hypnotizing when you’re tired. Your eyes stare blankly at the paper while the pen flows and flows away.

What a huge patio I’ll have when I move. I’m gonna get a table so I can write a little easier. It’s a little awkward and uncomfortable writing with the book on my lap. It causes me to write sloppier, too. Plus, I’m so beat. The sun sure drains you. I feel as if I did get some color, yet I have no new, real distinct tan lines. I feel and look solid and muscular, but I have no problem with that. Especially for a girl of 90-something pounds who’s 4’ 11”.

I went to the office to get a stamp and Paula ended up chatting with me. She and Judy really are very nice. If Stacey were a staff member in some place like Valleyhead or Brattleboro, I’d pity those kids! Not that I don’t anyway, and there are definitely enough Staceys working in these places who don’t belong. Stacey would be a carbon copy of Donna A, her sister Margaret, and Barbara D.

I should go record my phone messages into my box now.

SUNDAY, MARCH 7, 1993 Yesterday was a shitty day. Two mornings ago, which would’ve been very early Saturday morning at 3 AM, I fell asleep. I had weird dreams and was wide awake an hour later. At 10:30 I began to get sleepy, but sure enough, the bitch next door began her slamming, ramming and banging. Sundays she’s out a lot, but is this bitch ever gonna sit still on a Saturday? How can a person make so much fucking noise while they’re cleaning? At 6:00 this morning I knocked really loud on the inside of my door. I’m sure that woke her up and she wondered whose door it was. Our doors are so close. I’m gonna knock even earlier this morning once an hour, and this bitch has to work tomorrow.

I finally fell asleep yesterday at 12:30 and then Andy fucking came in and shook me awake. I told him never to do that again unless I told him to. He may be coming down with another cold. I hope I don’t. An hour after he woke me up I fell back asleep till 9:30. I was beat.

I spoke with Scott who I may see tonight, but it depends on when and how long I sleep. I hope he’s got good news on a person taking over my lease. I also hope his meeting with the IRS Monday goes well and that I can type for him, move, then transfer to a better club.

If I can get up tonight no earlier than 3 AM, I may go during the day tomorrow to Sha Na Na’s.

Early yesterday morning I took a chance at Kara being home and she was. She said her trip to Vegas sucked. She and her girlfriend’s mother had it out and she says she’s running for her life. She even mentioned going back to Michigan to live. I told her it’ll blow over. This must really be serious for a tough girl like her to be intimidated.

Her sister Stacey was there and told Kara about dancing at Sha Na Na’s. She left, however, for the same reasons I’d like to transfer whether or not I’m moving. Bad publicity due to the raids, a lot of people resent Arabs and they also have way too many girls there. She’s now at the Ex-Caliber.

SATURDAY, MARCH 6, 1993 I am pissed! I fell asleep at 3:00 and I only slept an hour. Fuck that shit! All I know is that I was having weird dreams.

The proofs came out OK. Andy took me to my 7:30 appointment last night. The one I chose has me leaning on my side with my hair flowing down my side.

After that, he and I went to a restaurant called J.B.’s. It was so-so, but we really loved the Black-Eyed Pea.

I took an hour and 40 minutes to cut coupons for him. He was quite pleased.

He also gave me some blooper photos and also photos he doesn’t want. I’ll split them up between Kim, Bob, Fran and Nervous.

I spoke to Kim for 15 minutes before we left for Valley West Mall. She’s not as stable emotionally and financially as she’d like to be.

I’m gonna bitch out Sprint next Monday. They sent me a letter saying they need a $100 deposit. I’ve had their service now for a month and now they’re telling me this?! I’m gonna give them an ultimatum. To either go shove their $100 or I don’t want their service.

Later…

I’m still up and furious so I called Nervous. We had a nice talk about our lives in general.

I put the radio on the stereo softly since I don’t know if Andi or anyone else is gonna decide to rock the building. The true test will be this weekend, but so far, and with very much thanks to Mary, Andi’s been quieter. Also thanks to “Daryl’s” note. She’s been getting up quieter during the weekdays.

I hope I get enough sleep cuz I really want to work tonight. I was gonna wait till I heard from Scott, but I decided not to.

I made another big mistake with Andy. I gave him Scott’s number to his beeper about Scott fixing his VCR. With Scott’s permission, but that’s not the point. The point is, is that no matter how much Andy promises not to talk about me (other than just trivial and general stuff), he will. And the bulk of it will be negative shit about me or personal. I have no problem with telling friends my personal ups and downs, but from my mouth only, when I’m ready to and in the mood. They haven’t gotten together yet, but they’re bound to sooner or later.

Anyway, here are the names of some of the dancers where I work: René, Alex, Toni, Pearl, Diamond, Ruby, Brandy, Storm, Venus, Christine, Pebbles, Danya, Rena, Corey, Dawn, Dee Dee, Alicia, Donna, Dallas, Tracy, Susie, Crystal, Ronnie and that’s all I care to think of at the moment.

I really must try to hit the sack.

FRIDAY, MARCH 5, 1993 While I’m watching TV I’m gonna write. Tomorrow Andy and I are going to the mall where I’m going to pick out one of the 10 pictures that were taken of me.

I’m also gonna buy him a silk shirt which he wanted for his birthday.

Saturday night I’m probably gonna go to Sha Na Na’s. This way I can still have more income till I know when I’m gonna move for sure. After I move I’ll transfer.

I can’t wait to get into this gorgeous apartment!

THURSDAY, MARCH 4, 1993 Once again, I have so much updating to do. I mean, I am swamped with it, let alone with the other things I’m working on. I have a major project going on now with my journals. I have 4 little books which I don’t like and no longer want. Number 8 was mostly all phone numbers. I’ve gone and copied them into number 18. I took two of the big books I just got and in one of them, I copied the old number 10. I also numbered the new big one number 10. Then, I took one other big book and numbered it number 5. I’m now almost halfway through number 6. I threw out number 8, but when I have all 3 (5, 6 & 10) copied, I’m sending them to Fran.

I met the guy (Dave) who just moved in down below me. He seems nice and the great thing about it is that he’s never home just like Jeff. He also didn’t make too much noise the day he moved in which was the 1st.

I’m lucky in that area, but I finally reached my breaking point with Andi, the bitch next door. Ever since I turned her in and bitched cuz of the herd of kids, she’s been getting up real early very noisily, slamming and banging. She also shakes the building very early on the weekends. I spoke to Mary and asked her how she was dealing with the situation and she was pissed off too, and has had it herself with the bitch. She told me how she needs her rest on the weekends so she can be rested enough to handle the weekdays. I told her there was no way my bitching was gonna change things and that I knew this was all aimed at me cuz of the herd of kids I bitched out. Then, I realized that Mary could either fuel her further, as obviously, this bitch has a problem with getting complaints. Or she could make her realize her aiming her shit on me was affecting Mary who also has CP and get her to shut the fuck up. So, last Sunday Mary went up there and basically laid it out on the line. She told me she was nice about it and would be quieter, but we’ll see. Meanwhile, she fucked me out of work last weekend and that doesn’t set really well with me.

After I move I’m gonna take real good care of her. I’m gonna have Andy leave her notes on her door as well as possibly have Kara egg her patio or truck or do something messy.

Now to speak of Kara – well – who knows where she is? She’ll contact me sooner or later as she wouldn’t just drop completely out of my life, but I’m not sure if she’s in Vegas. If she said she went, then she did, but Laurie told me an interesting story. She said that she ran into Kara’s mother and she said she took all her stuff and split. I know her mother could be a bitch and that they didn’t always get along, but where could she or would she go?

Mary also took me food shopping the other day and she was up here for a visit and for me to give her a reading. I told her I had an 80% accuracy and she’s happy with that.

Later…

I almost forgot to mention one other thing about Andi next door. I totally disguised my handwriting and wrote her a note from “Daryl,” the guy who moved in next to Andy and behind her. It wrote: I recently moved in behind you in the front of the building. I realize you get up very early during the weekdays and I don’t get up till 9:00. Please try getting up quietly as well as early on the weekends.

She oughta love that.

Next Sunday I should know from Scott who’s gonna be taking over my lease and when, as well as if I can type for him. Well, I’ll find out about the typing Monday. I asked if I could type for him with or without the dancing for $600 a month. He said yes and that is what he pays his secretaries who are in Michigan, where he’s from. I have a plan that I hope I can follow, but like I said, I won’t know for sure till next Monday. I’ll explain why I won’t know till next Monday later, but here’s my plan. To quit Sha Na Na’s and type for him while I still live here. Why? For 3 reasons. One is cuz I never know if I can sleep without being woken up here during the day. It’s a 50/50 hit-or-miss deal. Two is cuz after I do move, I want to work at a club closer to where I’ll be living. Three is cuz I want to work at a classier club where I’ll make more money. I think there are two reasons why Sha Na Na’s doesn’t do too well. The publicity of the raids in their other clubs doesn’t help much. Also, Omar and Dave are Arabs and so many people hate them.

Steve said he’d still flat rate me $5, but I’d prefer a 5-10-minute ride to and from work, rather than a 20-25.

Also, there’s this classier club where Scott’s sort of seeing someone who’s working there. She’s making way more than I am. I’ve still been earning much much more than the average person, but not as much as I thought I’d be and that I know is possible. It’s possible to take home $100 or more after tip-out and that’s exactly what I want to do. On top of everything else, I still don’t think I’ll be dancing for too much longer anyway. Hopefully, real soon the music will be taking over. It’s a waiting game in the beginning just like Scott said, but once things begin, they should really roll. I always envisioned that once I got my foot in the door things would roll fast from there. And that I wouldn’t have to struggle for years and years. I still have to go through the steps just like everyone else, though. Scott’s word is very dependable about Bill T and he’s always come through on everything he’s told me so far. I guess I might start out backing up other big celebrities since you usually don’t start out on the front lines anyway.

When I was sick with the flu, Scott called me to tell me he’d just gotten out of the ER. He told me he saw 3 guys try to force a woman into their car and he stepped in using his martial arts, even though he did get banged up a bit. He managed to save the woman who’d call to thank him every two hours and the police were very pleased.

Then, also while I was sick, he came over with $100 of food! That was really very nice of him.

Later…

At 6:30 my time this morning I called Barbara at 8:30 her time. Marie was there too who also lives there, but we never spoke. I asked Barbara if she knew who I was. At first, she didn’t but then it hit her and she said, “Oh, you fucking asshole! I’ve been dealing with you since you left and at that time everything was fine.”

I asked her how life in CT was and she said she wished I were there so she could kick my ass and I just laughed. She also asked me why I sent Debbie shit and what I got against her. I told her that this coming June 15th I’d be there to take care of her. She asked if I was gonna bring my little buddies and then she just basically cussed me out telling me I should’ve died back when I was in the hospital, I don’t know how to be awake, all I know how to do is be up all night.

Andy’s right. After it’s all over is when you wish you’d taped it.

Well, now that I’m 110% sure I’ll never see the remaining ¾ of my picture collection my mom ditched, no matter what anyone says about it, I went and killed off the rest of my collection. I did hang onto a few pictures, but as I said before, I want all of my collection, not part of it. I know what Tammy and my dad would and wouldn’t do, but I also know how my mom operates. It’s totally her style to do something like this to me. One last chance to control and take away something she knows I love.

I don’t know if I wrote about Scott’s past at all yet, but I’ll just go through the whole story. Well, most people can’t remember exactly what they were doing on a certain day 6 months ago. Most people don’t keep journals like I do. He once had a couple million that his ex-wife fucked him completely out of. His ex and a detective framed him for arson which he never committed. While he was out of state getting a speeding ticket by the highway patrol, a house on his street was being lit on fire. Somehow his ex and this detective made it look like he did it and he ended up in jail for two years. Meanwhile, his dad got a letter about this ticket he never paid. He noticed it was at the same time this fire was lit and they gathered a successful appeal and he got out of prison. While in prison, his ex destroyed all his tax, business and work records from the businesses he owned as well as stole all his money. Right at this moment, he’s trying to gather all the proof he needs to show the IRS he did pay his taxes from 1986 to 1991. He has a meeting with them next Monday. I have a good vibe that the meeting will go well, but if it doesn’t I won’t be able to type for him this last month while I still live here and I’ll have to return to Sha Na Na’s. We’ll see. In the meantime, he knows 3 people from his church who are probably interested in taking over my lease if he can’t get his old roommate to take it. My lease isn’t up till June 31st, said Stacey, but there’s no way I’m gonna stay here till then.

Scott just moved into the same complex I’m going to be moving into. It’s a concrete structure, rather than a wooden one like this place is. It’s 10 minutes away from here in the very northern part of the city. Scott has a 2-bedroom which is about 930 square feet for $535 a month. He got a 2-bedroom in case he ever has his son Matthew with him. I saw the 2-bedroom model as well as a model of the 730 square foot 1-bedroom on the 3rd floor. Like here, I guess the 2-bedrooms go up to 2 floors and 1-bedrooms go to 3. Who knows about their studios?

The name of the complex is Crystal Creek. Andy will call it Crystal Creep or Crystal Crotch, no doubt. Scott says it’s very very quiet there. It has a lot of features - washer, dryer, free cable, big microwave, dishwasher, frost-free refrigerator, large walk-in closet, huge storage closet off of a huge private patio, French doors, vaulted ceilings, fireplace, lush landscaping with waterfalls and little wooden bridges you walk over, tons of cactuses and palm trees, 2 pools, 2 spas, covered parking, exercise room and courtesy patrol. All for $425 a month!

It’s gorgeous there and my address will be something like East Bell Rd. My phone number oughta be the same unless they don’t have this 589 exchange out there.

I told my family about this as well as about Capitol Records and they’re very very happy for me. I also hope to move by the 1st of April, or sooner.

Later…

As far as Velma’s concerned, I’m extremely disappointed and pissed off. Every now and then I am fooled by a person’s character. Other than when it comes to money, she’s a generous and friendly person. But obviously, when it comes to money, she’s a selfish, stingy little fuck. I gave her $60 to do my hair which never worked out right, as it doesn’t with everyone. She took it personally. I told her to grow up and realize that even though there are no guarantees, I want a partial refund. I should be happily compensated in some way. I told her to get me a straightening iron and I’d still be out some money cuz the thing will only cost $15 to $30 bucks. She doesn’t have to pay back the difference cuz she took 4 hours to do the procedure. She can keep the $15 I never should’ve given her for her birthday. She said we should do it over again, but no way. We’d just waste our time cuz if it didn’t work once it’s not gonna work a second time and my hair’s fried enough. So, obviously the selfish, stingy little shit can’t be that hard up for customers, cuz she could’ve kept me as a customer to do my bangs and I’d buy hair care products from her, too. So, unless she calls me to take my offer which is fair, I want nothing to do with her or people like her.

Later…

I haven’t heard from Celeste, nor do I want to for two reasons. One is that she’s into drugs, and the other’s that I think her husband Joe’s not gonna be able to keep out of it so easily. Their best bet is to get someone bi and who’s also on drugs or who doesn’t care about them being into drugs. In the end, though, I do appreciate their honesty. I want someone bi or gay where there’s mutual attraction. I also want someone who’s not committed to anyone, male or female, and who doesn’t want to be. Well, I just may possibly have that with two women I met at the club. They’re not other dancers, they came in as customers.

One’s name is Leanne, though her real name is Sarah. She’s bi and has been with 3 other women. She’s 23 and 6 feet tall with dyed, yet natural-looking blond hair and blue eyes. Her weight is just right. We’ve had some very nice talks on the phone, but haven’t gotten together yet. She’s been moving out of her own apartment and back in with her mom.

The second one is Julia Z and she’s a gorgeous Mexican, my favorite, and her hair’s even longer than mine! It’s thick, dark and curly. She’s 5 feet tall with dark eyes and she’s a little thinner than Leanne. I think she’s 23 too, but she’s never been with a woman before but has thought about it a lot. She called me once, but I don’t yet know when we’ll be getting together. Here’s the shocker about these girls. They don’t like butches, don’t do drugs, they find me attractive, and don’t want kids for the same reasons I don’t.

Andy got up next door very much less noisy. Gee! I wonder why?

Later…

I’m still awake and I wish I could be all day. It’s gonna be a beautiful day out and I want to go to the pool and get some color.

I forgot to mention that I called Omar to tell him I was putting him on hold and why. I explained my situation.

I also called Tammy and told her everything that’s been going on.

I hope that this Sunday Scott can get someone in here by the 15th.

Yesterday I called and spoke to a woman at Crystal Creek who said that if I moved in on the 15th, they could pro-rate my rent. Meaning, I’d pay half a month.

Andy’s got the day off so he’ll probably go apartment hunting again today like he did yesterday. He doesn’t think I’ll have sex with Leanne or Julia cuz either they’ll cancel or I’ll chicken out. No, I definitely won’t chicken out knowing they’re attractive and after speaking to them. If we don’t get together, it’ll be due to a problem on their end only.

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jcmarchi · 6 months

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Narrative Adventure Game Open Roads Gets February Release Date

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/narrative-adventure-game-open-roads-gets-february-release-date/

Narrative Adventure Game Open Roads Gets February Release Date

Open Roads, the narrative adventure game starring Keri Russell (The Americans, Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker) and Kaitlyn Dever (Booksmart, Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End), finally has a release date, nearly three years after its initial reveal at The Game Awards 2020. It hits consoles and PC on February 22, 2024.

Publisher Annapurna Interactive announced this release date today with a new trailer that features Russell talking about the game. Check out the Open Roads release date trailer for yourself below:

[embedded content]

A likely reason Open Roads took three years to reveal a release date after its 2020 debut is because its original creative lead, Steve Gaynor, co-founder of Fullbright and director of Gone Home, was accused of cultivating a hostile work environment in 2021, as reported by Polygon. Shortly after the allegations arose, Gaynor stepped back from his role as creative lead and manager. Since then, Open Roads has detached itself from Fullbright, with the small team of developers behind the title going by Open Roads Team.

Game Informer spoke to the Open Roads Team in 2022 about these changes and how it was moving forward with the game’s development – you can read our in-depth feature about it here.

“In Open Roads, Tess [Devers] and Opal [Russell] embark on a road trip adventure to explore a series of long-abandoned properties, unearthing the past,” the game’s description reads on Steam. “They’ll search the ruins of these places that hold buried memories, things Opal has tried for years to forget. And in this search, they’ll discover not just the truth they’ve been seeking, but each other.”

Open Roads hits PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X/S, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Switch, and PC on Febraury 22, 2024.

Are you going to check out Open Roads next year? Let us know in the comments below!

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thebridgeofdeaths · 7 months

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It’s a Wonderful Dog by Keri Salas

A Christmas Tail Animal and Holiday Fiction Date Published: November 16, 2023 Publisher: Acorn Publishing It’s Christmas Eve in western Kansas and a snowstorm is gaining strength as Bear Bailey, a devoted Great Pyrenees, tries to comfort his beloved owner Mary. She’s in hot water with the local business villain, and Bear’s earlier altercation with this miser only seemed to make…

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wellbelesbian · 3 years

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for the @carry-on-aspec-fest, here’s my fic about asexual greyromantic Agatha, using the prompt community and support.

read on ao3!

Agatha leaves the keys to the goat shed to the dryad, and sets off walking.

She doesn’t know where he’s headed, just that she needs to get away from Watford and clear her head.

The painful lump in her throat doesn’t seem to want to budge though, and her mind keeps replaying the day’s earlier events. Niamh’s regular weekly visit, smiles and blushing as she checked over the new kid and another nanny Agatha suspects is pregnant, though she’s still learning the ropes of goat care, and then their hand-held walk back to Agatha’s cabin, where Agatha burned their pizza and Niamh failed to magic it better, but it was still okay. They were going to spend the afternoon together in the cabin, watching trash tv while Agatha tried to find a nail polish colour that suited Niamh.

And then, she isn’t sure how it progressed, but they were kissing, and Niamh was touching her, and Agatha slowly began to freeze up, until Niamh pulled away and asked what was wrong, and… Well, she didn’t really know. But she had to say something...

“I don’t think I feel that way about you.”

She knew that wasn’t what she meant to say, not the right words to explain the complicated feelings swirling inside her. But the damage was done, and before she could take it back, Niamh had packed up her stuff and walked out. She had barely said a word, her expression had been neutral. That hurt the most- that she didn’t cry, or argue, or throw out accusations. She didn’t fight for her, which meant she doesn’t care.

Agatha looks up and realises she’s in the centre of the nearby town. She takes a seat on a bench opposite some shops and considers texting Niamh, but she doesn’t know what to say.

Just as she resolves to just bite the bullet and trudge home, somebody shouts her name.

She looks up, expecting to see Niamh, but instead, she spots a short girl with pink hair barrelling towards her.

Trixie.

She’s followed by Keris and another girl that Agatha recognises, Philippa.

“Agatha!” Trixie trills again, reaching her and pulling her into a hug. Agatha had forgotten how touchy Trixie could get, but she strangely doesn’t feel uncomfortable about it.

The other two reach her and greet her with a little less enthusiasm, Keris murmuring a “hi” and Philippa asking her how she is. She says, unconvincingly, that she’s fine.

“It’s been so long!” Trixie grins. “We’re going to spoons, you should come!”

Agatha distantly tries to remember the last time they spoke, and can’t. They were never exactly close… To be honest, Agatha never really spoke to anyone aside from Simon and Penny, and her Normal friends.

But for some reason, she agrees.

><><><

They’re crammed into the corner of the local Wetherspoons (Agatha touches the sticky table and can almost hear her mother’s disdainful voice, and the thought makes her press further into the itchy, worn material of the seat out of spite), tipsy on something purple and fizzy that Philippa ordered two pitchers of, and honestly speaking a little too loudly than is courteous to those around them. Thankfully, it’s a Thursday afternoon, so by the time Trixie is collecting their dessert orders, the area has cleared out, and there’s nobody left to angrily shush Keris when she gets too heated on a subject.

Which means she has absolutely no shame when she leans over her bowl of ice cream and winks at Agatha as Philippa finishes up a dramatic recounting of her last terrible date, exaggerated voice acting and all. Agatha now knows that when Philippa left Watford, it was because she lost her voice. She got it back, and is relishing its use. She also shares that she got into the exclusive Circe’s College at her university, and is studying magical medicine, hoping to help others who have lost their magic due to illnesses or curses. Agatha wonders if she should put in a good word with her dad, but he doesn’t know the first thing about curses.

“Don’t take this as an insult, but I always knew you were gay,” Keris stage-whispers. “Or, I suppose I suspected.” Agatha isn’t offended, but she can’t deny the declaration confuses her.

“How?”

“Well, you were never really into Simon, were you? I dated this guy for a couple of weeks when I was, like, fourteen, because I thought I was into him, but then he tried to kiss me and I panicked, and realised I had totally misread the situation, and I just saw him as a friend.”

“Panicked is an understatement,” Philippa adds. “She slapped him across the face.” She mimes it out while Trixie cackles.

“I apologised!” Keris shrieks indignantly.

A waiter wiping down a nearby table shoots them a dirty look, and Agatha tips her head back to down what’s left of her glass.

“Anyway,” Keris continues, unabashed, “turns out it was just compulsive heterosexuality.”

Agatha has no idea what that means, but nods and hums in awkward agreement.

“Did you like Simon?” Trixie butts in, topping up her glass. Agatha sighs.

“Not really, I suppose. But… I don’t know if I like girls either.”

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

This is exactly the topic she had been enjoying ignoring, but the stares she’s getting clearly warrant an explanation.

“I don’t know. We had a fight.”

“Oh, Aggie…” The nickname is new, but Agatha allows it as Trixie pulls her into a hug.

“I just don’t know if I like her that way. I like spending time with her, and sometimes I’m okay with kissing, but sometimes I’m not. And I don’t think I like anything further than that. I’ve only ever been intimate with Simon, which was a train wreck, but I just feel like I wouldn’t like it.”

“Well how do you know you don’t like sex with girls if you’ve never tried it?” The question earns Trixie a sharp elbow to the ribs from Keris.

“How do you know you don’t like boys if you’ve never been with one?”

“Point taken.”

Philippa’s brow scrunches up in confusion.

“How do you know?”

"Well you can just tell, can’t you?” Keris shrugs. “When you look at someone and feel your heart beat faster, when you think about doing that with them and realise you like what you’re picturing…” At that, she wags her eyebrows suggestively, which doesn’t sit right with Agatha. When nobody else calls her out on it, she quietly speaks up.

“Isn’t that… a little creepy?”

“What?”

“Thinking about somebody… Like that.”

The others just stare at her.

“How?

“I thought that was normal.” Philippa states.

“Me too. Crowley, Ags, I’m not just talking about some hardcore sexual fantasies. I mean like kissing, going on dates, adopting a cat together.”

Trixie’s face lights up.

“You want a cat?”

“Not the time, babe. But yeah, in your case, it is okay to think about sleeping with people, so long as you still treat them respectfully. Especially if that person is your girlfriend.”

Agatha must still look put out, because Philippa pipes up again.

“Are you telling me you’ve never looked at somebody and thought about being with them? I certainly thought about Simon from time to time.” Her cheeks go a bit pink at that, prompting Trixie and Keris to both burst out laughing. Pippa shyly smiles down at her drink, and Agatha recalls that was certainly not pleased about Philippa’s crush on Simon when she was dating him, but now she doesn’t really mind. The mean voice in the back of her head pops up to tell her that’s Baz’s problem now, and Philippa would be well within her rights to fight him for Simon’s hand, after everything Baz put her through.

She’s pulled out of this train of thought when the others finish up their laughing fit, Keris slapping the table hard enough to make her glass shake.

“You’ve never thought about sleeping with anybody?” Trixie asks. “Not even somebody other than Simon?”

“This is definitely too private a discussion to be having here and now.” Agatha declares. She gets up and heads to the bathroom, which is blissfully empty, and splashes some cold water on her face, which feels like it’s burning up, from both embarrassment and the alcohol. Agatha doesn’t drink regularly, and knows she can’t handle more than one vodka without saying something she normally wouldn’t. Considering the conversation she just had… what the hell was in those pitchers?

She thinks about her past relationships. Sacha doesn’t really count, they were only thirteen at the time, and they never did anything but hold hands. Agatha never even invited him over- he was Normal, what would her parents think? Then scratch off Simon, because thinking about him gives her a headache. So that leaves the boys she dated in California. They were all nice- they let her borrow their lecture notes and invited her to parties and taught her how to surf, and she did kiss them, though looking back, she isn’t sure there was ever any real desire behind it. And she’s certainly never fantasised about it happening before or after the fact…

She storms back to the table. The girls have finished their desserts, but don’t look like they plan to leave anytime soon. Philippa is already flicking through the savoury menu again. Keris is on Trixie’s lap, bickering with her about something.

“The landlord never has to know-“

“He will know! We can’t hide a whole cat, Trixie!”

Ignoring their debate, Agatha slams her hands down on the table.

“Tell me right now that you’re joking.” She demands.

“About getting a cat?”

“About fantasising about people! That’s weird! Right?”

She’s met with silence. Silence, which just stretches on and on...

Agatha meets their eyes, one by one. “You’re telling me that’s normal?

Trixie coughs awkwardly.

“I mean, I assume it is for most people…” The other two nod in agreement.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Sit down, Aggie. It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it!”

“It is to me!” She lets herself be pulled back down into their booth. “What if this is the problem with Niamh and I? I don’t…” She clutches at her head, messing up her hair but not having it in her to care, and makes a sound closer to a growl than anything else. Is this how Simon used to feel when he would start huffing and puffing? “I want to be with her! But I don’t want... I don’t like all these relationship things. Kissing and cuddling is sometimes okay, sex isn’t. And I don’t think I would want to live with her.”

“That’s okay,” Keris says gently. “You can like and dislike different parts of a relationship.”

Agatha pulls her legs up to her chest, not caring about her shoes on the seat, and rests her chin on her knees.

“I feel like I want half a relationship. Something between friends and girlfriends.”

She lets her head tilt down until she’s staring at her shoes, vision blurring with brimming tears. A moment passes, then she feels a hand rubbing her back comfortingly. Trixie- she’s somehow wedged herself between Agatha and the side of the booth, where she wasn’t a moment ago. Agatha suspects she climbed over the table. She doesn’t raise her face- the only thing more mortifying than talking about her relationships is crying in front of people.

“You can do that.” Trixie says, quietly. “You can have a relationship on your own terms, you don’t have to conform to what society tells you is necessary for friendship, or romance. Just… Do what makes you happy.”

“It’s not fair on Niamh.”

“Do you know that?” Philippa asks, sat on her other side. “She might understand. I bet she’ll at least try to, to make you happy and comfortable, if she cares. Do you think she cares?”

“I don’t know. When we fell out, she didn’t say anything. She just got up and left. She didn’t even seem upset.”

“That can show its own kind of sadness.”

She didn’t fight for me, not like…” Realisation hits her like a bag of bricks, and all at once she realises what an idiot she’s been. “Not like Simon did.” She lifts her head and scrubs at her teary eyes angrily. “Why the fuck am I comparing her to Simon? Why am I making myself the damsel this time? Fuck this, I’m going to call her, I’ll fight for her.” She pats down her pockets in search of her phone, until Keris plucks it from where it was sitting on the table.

“Maybe sober up first.”

“Ugh. Fine. But only because you tend to be smart about these things.”

><><><

The next morning, Agatha wakes up to texts from three unknown numbers. As she shuffles around her kitchen in the red glow of the rising sun, boiling the kettle and searching for some ibuprofen for her battered head, she reads them.

The first messages:

Fight for her! I believe in you!

This is Pippa btw

It was great to see you. The three of us meet up at that spoons at the end of every month. You should come next time!

From the second number is a screenshot of an animal shelter’s website, displaying a calico cat. No additional contact leads Agatha to believe that this is from Trixie, and probably means she and Keris will have a cat before long.

The third set of messages:

hey, it’s Keris. I took your number from your phone, i hope you don’t mind. i did some googling last night, and i thought these articles might be helpful. whatever this is, i wish you well. hopefully we’ll see each other again soon <3

Attached are a few links. Agatha clicks the first link, reading the title: What Does A Queerplatonic Relationship Look Like?

She sips her tea and reads. She does some googling of her own. Sends Keris a message back thanking her, and warns her of her imminent new cat.

The goats will need feeding soon, but she’ll know it’s time when she can hear them shouting. Now, in this quiet moment, she calls Niamh.

#carry on aspec week #carry on aspec fest #carry on aspec fest 2021 #all that she wants #my fics #agatha wellbelove #brobelove #friendships forged in the crucible of wetherspoons

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averyonelovesjack · 3 years

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learning to raise a baby ~ daniel seavey

requested: yes:)

Can you please do an cute imagine about y/n and Daniel having a baby together and taking care of the baby and figuring the parenting stuff out together. Ur amazing

summary: follow a few different events in the life of daniel and y/n learning to raise a baby.

warning(s): baby, literally too lazy to edit this i’ll come back later lmao

word count: 2608

author’s note: i have such baby fever omg

disclaimer: i def need to clarify that i am 18 years old and do not have a baby and i have no close friends with babies (in person, at least) therefore this is purely fiction. i watch a LOT (i mean A LOT) of family vloggers and like teen mom accounts raising their kids, so basically all of my knowledge comes from that. i hope no one takes offence to my depiction of it, but my intention is purely just to write this cute fic idea, and i don’t want to pretend like i know anything about parenting or raising a child or anything like that!! okay that’s all!!

I could barely see my feet as I painfully took in another breath of air and started walking forward. Awoken at 3am with terrible back pain and a pool of amniotic fluid at my waist, Daniel and I now rushed to grab our hospital bag and make our way to the labor and delivery section of our nearest hospital.

everything went so fast. before i was actively having a child, it felt like my pregnancy would never end, but now that it’s actually happening and i’m having a child, it felt like pregnancy flew by.

just a few days ago, i was sitting on the countertop in my bathroom, impatiently waiting to see if i was pregnant or not in hopes that daniel wouldn’t get home from the studio early and find me. i had just given daniel the surprise of his lifetime when i woke him up at four am to tell him i was pregnant because i just couldn’t keep it from him anymore to do a fun reveal. i remember how we both cried, too excited to even go back to sleep.

just a few days ago, daniel and i were sitting in my obstetrician’s office as we got to hear our eight week old fetus’ heartbeat for the first time. we both cried. it feels like just a day or two ago we cut into a pink colored cake and found out that our precious baby girl would be coming. all of the breakdowns about what stroller to buy and which crib matches the nursey best felt like just moments ago. and now, all of a sudden, i’m ten hours into labor and i’m ready to push.

pushing was painful, but the thought of holding a sweet babygirl soon just kept me going. daniel squeezed my hand tight, standing by the end of the bed watching our beautiful daughter make her way into the world.

i gave the final push and soon i heard a cry that made everything in the whole world worth it. they say you never truly understand love until you’ve had a child, and as soon as i held our daughter, i felt an overwhelming sense of truth in that statement. i never knew such a distinct moment could be the greatest day of my life, but as soon as i laid my eyes on her, i knew that i would never get a day greater than this one.

our daughter laid on my chest for a while as daniel sat by my head, holding both my hand and hers. eventually, the nurses cleaned her off a bit and wrapped her tightly in a swaddle for daniel to finally hold his daughter. i watched the tears fall from his bluer than ever eyes that never left her little face. by the way she settled in his arms and fell asleep, i knew i was going to have a daddy’s little girl on our hands.

it felt like forever, just watching daniel and our baby getting to know each other. soon enough, though, the doctors finished with the stitches and i heard a knock at the door.

within seconds, both of our parents came into the room, bearing wide smiles. daniel sat in the seat next to me, both of us staring at the beautiful baby in front of us.

“does she have a name?” keri asks, slowly walking up to the two of us, careful not to be too loud.

daniel and i look at each other, and then i give him the nod to tell everyone. “callista avery mae seavey.”

“our little baby callie.” i smile at the name. daniel and i both loved the name callie, but wanted it to be a nickname. avery was after his bandmate who really helped us through this whole preparing to be parents thing. mae was a pretty nickname from my side of the family that was good to separate avery and seavey. our little callie mae.

***

it was three am and both of us were awake to callie’s loud screaming. turns out that daniel and i had a very colicky daughter who, when awake, wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. daniel was in the nursery trying to grab more diapers and wipes that, out of exhaustion, we forgot to restock last night when we ran out. i held callie in our arms, rocking her gently and trying to get her to go back to sleep.

“does she have a dirty diaper?” daniel asks, placing the diapers in the corner of our messy bedroom. a few days into callie’s life, we realized we should’ve left the changing table in our bedroom until she was ready to sleep in the nursey, but both of us were too tired to even think about moving the furniture around. so for now the corner of the room was storage and a changing pad on the bench was our late night changing table.

“i don’t think so.” i answer, giving him an exhausted look. “her diaper isn’t heavy and i tried to feed her, but she doesn’t seem to be hungry. i think she just woke up and is being colicky again.”

“how long did the doctor say the colic will last?” daniel asks.

“she didn’t.” i sigh, going to take a seat on our bed as i continued to calm callie. daniel sat beside me. “go back to sleep, i got her.”

“no, i know you’ve been awake all night. try to go to sleep, i’ve got her.” daniel says, and then takes callie from me. “did you take melatonin tonight?”

“yeah.” i say. “i know your body goes through a lot of changes postpartum, but i’m really not liking the insomnia.”

“okay, well, you lay down, and i’m gonna sing to you both, okay?” daniel says and then starts to rock callie to sleep as i laid beside them. and then he started to sing softly.

***

callie was born a little over three months ago and daniel and i haven’t had a date night since then. when we fearfully realized that last week, jack and anna were both quick to offer some help. we hadn’t felt comfortable leaving callie yet, especially since she wasn’t always the easiest. we had lots of help and people offering, but neither daniel nor i were good at asking for help. that’s definitely something we’re both still working on, especially now that we have a baby.

finally though, jack and anna convinced us. originally, we were going to leave them with daniel’s parents, but anna and jack were pretty convincing. jack had lots of experience since he himself is a dad, and anna was very close with gabbie when she had lavender. jack also decided to invite zach for some more company, which was cute.

daniel and i had a hard time saying goodbye to callie, even though we really were only going to be out for two hours at most. we knew neither of us could stay away for that long.

the restaurant wasn’t too far from the house, which was nice because it cut down on our time away from callie. i think both of us were a little nervous to leave her. we both know that she’s three months old and other people are more than capable of watching her for a few hours, but it’s still hard to not be worried about all of the things we could be missing out on.

“oh my gosh, anna just sent a picture of callie.” daniel says in the middle of our dinner, holding up his phone to show up me the picture of our daughter in the adorable pajamas her aunt bought.

“i miss her.” i admit, knowing he was feeling similarly. “do you think they had a hard time getting her to sleep? i hope she’ll be good for them tonight.”

“i’m sure she was fine.” daniel says, then later . “you know, maybe we should skip dessert. relieve them a little early.”

“she’s growing up so fast.” i tell him. “i’m not ready for her to keep growing.”

“we’re gonna blink and she’s gonna be cursing us out because we wouldn’t let her go out with her friends.” daniel continues. “not that we would do that, because honestly, i’ve always thought we’d be a little cooler than that.”

i laugh at his comment. “oh, we’ll definitely be cooler than that. we’re not gonna be the lame strict parents that doesn’t let their kids go out with their friends.”

“oh definitely.” daniel agrees. “except i will be strict about doors open if someone is over. i don’t care who she’s in her room with, but that door better be open. i am taking no chances.”

“i feel like that’s fair.” i add. “i know we’re parents, but wow, until i think about that future, i kind of forget.”

“i’m very glad that’s a long ways away.” he comments. “i’m barely ready for her to be three months old, we do not need to get ahead of ourselves. take this parenting thing one step at a time.”

“i could not agree more.” i smile, leaning over the table to kiss daniel’s lips gently.

***

i walked out of my one year old’s nursery with her in my arms. we watched as daniel and anna hung balloons up around our california apartment. it’s just about an hour before callie’s first birthday party, and now more than ever, i could not be more grateful for daniel’s family’s offer to help us set up.

rather than fighting with figuring out food for the party, we decided to get it catered. christian and tyler offered to go pick up the food at the restaurant for us, which was extremely helpful. his parents were setting up some decorations around the front of the apartment.

i had just put callie in her adorable dress that i specifically picked out for this party. we weren’t the type to throw parties, so we weren’t 100% sure what to do or what to expect, but we decided to just stick to family and close friends. callie was too young for us to strictly invite her friends over. at this stage in her life, her friends were whoever was at mommy&me that week.

the party was going to be small. daniel’s family, my family, daniel’s bandmates and close friends, and then my close friends.

thankfully, we finished decorating and setting up with about thirty minutes left to spare before the party. rather than worry, i decided to just sit on the couch with anna and daniel. keri took callie from me, wanting to spend some time with her granddaughter, and giving daniel and i a brief break before the party started.

“i cannot believe she’s a year old.” anna exclaims to me. “you guys have been parents for a year. that’s crazy to think about.”

“it’s definitely a little bit weird.” i giggle in response.

“you guys make it look so easy, being young parents.” anna says. “i know i’m younger than you guys, but still, i cannot imagine having a kid anytime soon.”

“i didn’t think i would either.” i tell anna. “for me, i wasn’t really ready until i met dani. i realized that i was ready because i wanted to do this with him. it’s different for everyone, i’m sure, but at least personally, that’s how i knew we could be parents.”

daniel wraps his arm around me on the couch, kissing my cheek softly. “yeah, it’s the same for me. when you find someone you want to do everything with, it gets easier to imagine yourself parenting together.”

“that is really cute.” anna says. “this is what i mean, when i say you make it look easy!!”

“it’s definitely not easy.” i laugh. “but it’s a little bit easier when you work as a team. we talk things through and decide together, instead of just making decisions separately. it’s a lot easier to feel like you’re making the right decision when you talk things through.”

“and that is all the parenting advice you get, because while i am most definitely ready to be a dad, i am not ready to be an uncle.” daniel says, getting protective over his younger sister.

“being an uncle is way easier than being a dad.” anna laughs. “but trust me, i’m not having kids any time soon. at least not intentionally.”

“well, i have to be the cool uncle. someone’s gotta bail the kid out of jail and hide it from you.” daniel jokes.

“first of all, why would my kid go to jail??” anna asks. “and second of all, you might’ve been first in the race for cool uncle before callie arrived, but since becoming a dad, you’ve fallen behind. the cool uncle can’t have kids, that’s not how that works.”

“well i’ll break that standard, because i’ll be the cool uncle.”

“i just want to be the aunt that gives good advice at one o’clock in the morning.” i tell them. “someone’s gotta do it. i expect that for callie, anna, so i will do that for your kids.”

“oh, of course. nothing but the best for callie. and future kids.” anna agrees. “speaking of, future kids? any thoughts on that? mom wants me to scope that out.”

“eventually.” i smile. “sooner rather than later.”

***

daniel took callie on a walk. he’s been really adamant about spending at least thirty minutes a day on a walk with her. now that she’s getting a lot more balance and ability to take a lot more steps, he loves taking her to the playground a few blocks from our apartment. usually, i like to go with them, but today i made up an excuse about things i had to get done at home.

i felt especially grateful for that routine of his today, because i needed a few minutes to myself. i’ve been feeling particularly nauseated recently, and as soon as i woke up the other day, i could feel that i was pregnant again. in the past, i had always thought that when i was paranoid about being late, but now that i’ve actually experienced pregnancy, i can feel that there’s a little fetus inside of me.

daniel and i haven’t exactly been trying, but we haven’t been taking as many precautions as we were when callie was first born. now that she’s over a year old, we feel better about having another baby. we weren’t too rushed, because we lot spending time with just our little girl, but we didn’t want to wait too long and have her grow up without a sibling. having a sibling was always a priority of daniel and i’s. seeing as we both grew up with siblings, we know how important it is to have a sibling.

my stomach fluttered with butterflies as i followed the instructions on the pregnancy test. after realizing i was pregnant with callie, i had bought a ton of tests that i didn’t end up using because it was so obvious that i was indeed pregnant. that was extremely helpful for right now when i don’t have time to go sit in traffic for thirty minutes just to go to the pharmacy.

i sat on top of the counter, leaving the pregnancy test face down while i tried to scroll through tiktok and distract myself. it was probably the slowest five minutes of my life, other than finding out about callie.

the timer went off on my phone. i take a deep breath and carefully lift the pregnancy test off the marble bathroom counter.

pregnant.

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fallynleaf · 2 years

Text

“tagged” by @paramaline in a “describe your personality with four fictional characters” thing. this is something that is very difficult for me to do actually so i thought i’d give it a shot!

(anyone else who wants to do this, consider yourself tagged!)

1. Kerewin Holmes from The Bone People by Keri Hulme

i’d never read a book and been so completely eviscerated by a single line in one of the first few pages as i was by this sentence:

She has debated, in the frivolity of the beginning, whether to build a hole or tower; a hole, because she was fond of hobbits, or a tower—well, a tower for many reasons, but chiefly because she liked spiral staircases.

there’s a reason why it’s at the top of my commonplace book. but even besides stuff like this, Kerewin is basically the only character in media i’ve ever really identified with gender and sexuality wise.

2. Abed Nadir from Community

an extremely common answer probably for any neurodivergent person with media properties as their special interest, but, well, it is what it is. i don’t think i’ve ever really talked about this, but the last time i was Extremely Depressed back in undergrad, i started writing the most convoluted meta Troy/Abed fix-it fic, and i was proud of the concept, but had to stop working on it because i over-identified with Abed too much and it started to hit too close to home.

3. the Keeper of the Seeds from Mad Max: Fury Road

i have a tendency to identify a lot with a certain type of old crone character lol and the Keeper of the Seeds was like... that exact thing distilled. she also reminds me of Asha, the main character of Pumzi, which is a very different film from Fury Road but is also sort of the same film. there’s something about a story where someone in a dying world tries to take seeds to a place where they can grow that really resonates with me, though i doubt i could be as brave as either of those two women.

4. Tara Maclay from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Tara was the first “do i want to date her or do i identify with her?” character for me haha. i’m including her here because either way, her character (shy lesbian witch lol) and story resonating so much with me says a lot about me, i think.

#maybe this is a more serious answer than this prompt was anticipating lol but i can't really answer this question flippantly #about me

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otherpeoplesheartachept-2 · 3 years

Text

Side Ships

Pairing: Trixie/Keris

Rating: G

Length: 2161 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Trixie wants to kiss her best friend, so badly, but apparently the universe has other plans. Or, the three times they almost kiss and the one time they do.

Read on Ao3 or here below :))

Something had shifted between Trixie and Keris recently, and Trixie was pretty sure she had a chance with her best friend. They’d been flirtier with each other (or Trixie was the same amount of flirty, but Keris had started kind of flirting back). Keris was more affectionate than usual, she held Trixie’s hand whenever they walked together, and leaned on her shoulder when they watched movies on Trixie’s laptop. They were practically dating, Trixie thought, she needed the right moment to take that next step: kiss Keris, ask her out officially.

The first time it almost happened they were in Greek class. The girls sat in the back of the class and held hands through the whole lecture. Trixie wasn’t even taking notes, how could she when her adorable friend was mere inches away, looking so kissable. Trixie had spelled her notebook and pencil to write down what the Minotaur was saying, and tuned everything else out to stare at Keris. (It was against the rules to use magic like that but Trixie didn’t care). Keris was better at paying attention in class, she was still taking notes even as her fingers were laced with Trixie’s.

The Minotaur stopped speaking for a moment so Keris looked over to Trixie. She was blushing a lovely dark red against her brown cheeks and Trixie couldn’t help but be enraptured. Keris smiled and looked away, but Trixie leaned closer to her. They stared at each other for a moment, both thinking maybe this was it. Trixie started to lean in, across the aisle separating their desks, and then-

A man cleared his throat. “Ladies,” a deep voice spoke from right in front of their desks.

Keris quickly pulled away, and stared at her desk, mortified.

The world came back into focus for Trixie, the classroom was nearly empty now and their Greek teacher stood in front of them.

“Class is over,” he stated.

Trixie had to crane her neck upward to meet his eyes. “Right! We knew that!” she said, beaming up at him to compensate for how awkward she felt. “And we were just leaving!”

The pixie quickly shoved her things in her school bag without looking, then grabbed Keris’ hand and rushed out of the classroom.

She thought about kissing Keris in the hallway, but her best friend was too embarrassed to even meet her eyes.

“Well, I’ll see you at dinner I guess,” Trixie said, squeezing Keris’ hand.

“Yeah,” the other girl smiled, before stepping into the classroom of her next period.

Trixie walked to her next class and tried not to be annoyed. It’s not like they couldn’t kiss later.

The next time it was Penelope’s fault (of course it was). Trixie and Keris were hanging out in Trixie’s room. They had started with studying but that quickly devolved into drawing poor portraits of each other, and then giving each other make-overs by trying out different hair colors with magic, and doing their make-up. Trixie thought Keris looked best with the lilac locs she’d spelled, but Keris preferred the blonde she’d had for most of the year.

Trixie knew what she was doing when she suggested they do each other’s make-up, she only hoped Keris knew that, and would go along with it.

She did. Keris stayed very, very still in her chair as Trixie straddled her and applied the lipstick. It was a great color on Keris, deep red. Even when she was finished putting the lipstick on her friend’s lips she couldn’t stop staring at her mouth. She was so beautiful it was unbelievable. Trixie was sure she was blushing, and she could feel her heart rate picking up. This close, Keris could probably feel it too.

Keris placed one of her hands on Trixie’s cheek. Trixie flicker her eyes up to her friends. Light green staring at deep brown.

Trixie swallowed. Keris smiled, and tucked a short piece of pink hair behind Trixie’s ear.

Trixie started to lean forward, Keris did the same. They both closed their eyes, the space between them quickly closing.

But just as their lips were about to meet, Penny barged in slamming the door open, and then twice as loudly slamming it closed.

“Fuck,” Trixie cursed, and sat back on her friends knees.

“Bloodly hell, Trixie.” Penny exclaimed, looking too exhausted to summon her full anger. “Would it kill you keep your fucking pixie dust off of my stuff for a single day?” She stomped over to her wardrobe, threw her torn and bloody coat off, ( must have been on another mission with the Chosen One), then stomped over to her desk and angrily sweeping the golden dust off of it before slamming a textbook down.

Trixie couldn’t help that she produces extra pixie dust when she’s happy. (And she’d been so so happy before Penelope showed up).

“What happened to her?” Keris whispered, keeping an eye on Penelope.

“Magic only knows,” Trixie sighed and stood up.

“Well, I should probably get to bed,” Keris said awkwardly. “Erm good night Penelope.”

Because of course she didn’t want to stay around while Trixie’s roommate made everyone miserable. Would it kill Penny to let lose for one single day?

“I can walk you down the stairs to your room” Trixie offered, hoping maybe her evening could be salvaged.

“No eh, that’s okay, but thanks,” Keris smiled, and then slipped out of the room.

Trixie fell face first on to her bed and screamed until Penelope yelled at her to keep it quiet.

The next time it was at breakfast. The meal was crepes with strawberries, one of Trixie’s absolute favorites. She’d eat strawberries all day every day if she could. Keris smiled when she declared that at the table.

“Do you want the rest of mine?” Keris asked, gesturing to her plate with xeveral untouched strawberries. Trixie could just get up and get more for herself, but she was warmed by the offer.

“Really?” She asked and Keris nodded. “You’re the best!” She said throwing an arm around her friend.

Keris blushed. She decided to take a risk by holding the strawberry up to Trixie’s mouth, instead of letting her get the berries herself.

Trixie’s eyes widened, but she leaned forward to take a bite of the strawberry. It was so sweet, Trixie wanted to moan, but she held it in.

Their friend Aubrey (who was also sat at the table but had gone ignored for most of the day) rolled her eyes and groaned.

“That was really good,” Trixie said, sheepishly. She looked up at Keris and batted her lashes, hoping it made her look attractive.

“You’ve eh,” Keris’ gaze flicked down to Trixie’s mouth, “you’ve got some on the corner of your lip,” she lifted a hand to point at the spot.

“Oh?” Trixie asked innocently. “Could you maybe get it for me? I can’t see it.” She knew it was a lame excuse, but Keris didn’t even have an excuse for feeding her a berry out of her hand so…

“Or you could use a fucking napkin,” Aubrey said, waving one above her head. She went ignored again.

Keris moved her hand to wipe at the strawberry juice staining Trixie’s mouth. It was more of a caress to her cheek though. Not that Trixie minded.

Keris rubbed her thumb across her friends cheek, and then over her lips.

“Is it gone?” Trixie asked, smiling.

“No,” Keris said, leaning in just a tad. Trixie was hoping she’d say that.

“Can I?” Keris asked, looking into Trixie’s eyes. Trixie nodded and smiled.

Keris leaned in further, but then there was a crash, and an explosion of yelling from other student in the dining hall. The air filled with that awful gut twisting feeling that always accompanies an attack sent by the Humdrum.

Keris jumped at the loud crashing noise.

Trixie and Aubrey scanned the room, trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

A Pegasus had burst through the doors of the dining hall and crashed into one of the chandeliers.

Students were screaming and running around, some brave enough to run past the animal to get to the doors.

Simon Snow was standing on a table, waving his sword around, trying to get the attention of the creature.

It was frantically flapping around, whinnying like a scared horse. Then the thing dove down towards Agatha, who was running for the exit. It nearly nipped her shoulder. Trixie winced seeing it.

Simon jumped from the table and ran towards his girlfriend and the Pegasus. It looked like it was rabbid, Keris thought, foam was coming out of its mouth, and it’s white fur looked covered in a layer of sickly sweat.

Trixie and Keris were far enough away from the mad flying creature that they were mostly safe. But The Chosen One’s magic was spreading everywhere, making the air thick and hot and hard to breath.

Through the green smoke Trixie could see the Pegasus was charging at Agatha again, but Simon managed to swing onto its back and decapitated the bloody thing with one forceful slice of his blade. It was gruesome. And the sight of that, along with the feeling of the Humdrums sucking and Simon’s magick was enough to make Keris sick to her stomach and nearly vomit.

Trixie rubbed her back, trying to comfort her, and kept her eyes on the mess at the other end of the dining hall. There was blood all over the floor, and Simon was positively drenched in it.

Neither of them wanted to finish their food, and they definitely weren’t in the mood for kissing, so Trixie resigned herself to another, subpar, kiss-less day.

For the rest of the week Aubrey wouldn’t stop teasing Trixie about how she still hadn’t kissed Keris. It was so fucking annoying. Aubrey was a year older than them, but she shared a few classes with Keris because Keris was advanced. Smart and gorgeous, Trixie wondered how everyone wasn’t falling at Keris’ feet. But whenever Aubrey reminded her of how slow things were moving with Keris, Trixie reminded her Aubrey that she’d been crushing on that Brody girl for two years and still hadn’t exchanged more than a few words with her. That usually shut her up. It didn’t shut up the longing in Trixie’s heart though.

A whole week passed and Trixie still hadn’t found another opportunity to kiss her friend. She’d almost given up at this point (except she wouldn’t, she could never give up on Keris). She was going insane. They were sat across from each other in the library, studying for a project in political science. Trixie hated that class, but it was a required credit.

She just wanted to admire the beauty of Keris, not think about… whatever they were supposed to be thinking about for the class (she honestly couldn’t remember). Trixie was staring at her friend as she took notes from a book she needed as a reference. Her brow was furrowed as she focused on the words on the page. It was hot when she studied, Trixie thought.

Keris finished the paragraph she was on and then looked up. “Okay,” she let out a sigh, “finished with this book.” She pushed her chair away from the long wooden table.

Trixie excitedly stood up to follow her.

The pair walked through the stacks as Keris tried to locate the shelf for the book in her hand. Trixie was pretty sure you’re supposed to put books you used in the carts by the librarian’s desk, so they could be properly reshelved, but she wasn’t going to question it.

Keris stopped in the middle of one aisle, then quickly looked down both ends of it to make sure no one was there. Trixie tilted her head, about to question what her friend was up to, but Keris quickly stepped forward, closing the space between them and planted a kiss on Trixie’s lips.

Trixie nearly squeeled with excitement. Keris made a move to pull back, her face warm from embarrassment, and worry that she’d maybe misinterpreted things. But Trixie would rather die than stop kissing Keris. Finally, finally they were kissing! She wasn’t about to let that stop.

Trixie pulled Keris in by the back of the neck and kissed her again, deeply. Keris melted into her touch, and ran a hand through the pixie’s short hair.

There were butterflies in Trixie’s stomach. No it was better than that—there were fireworks. There were beautiful butterflies that exploded like fireworks and made even more tiny butterflies that were also fireworks. It was the best kiss she’d ever had.

Eventually Keris forced herself to pull away from the other girl’s lips.

They were both smiling so wide it hurt.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” Keris asked, rubbing her hands down Trixie’s arms.

“You have no idea how badly I want to,” Trixie said before pulling Keris in for a hug.

#also I totally posted this on time shut up #It's been a rough day and this fic is not edited well but that's life sometimes babeyy #carry on countdown #coc 2021 #carry on countdown 2021 #carry on #trixie/keris #trixie the pixie #Watford #the simon snow series #my writing #corascrap

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rocksandrobots · 3 years

Text

Of Rocks and Robots Ch. 37 - Happy Birthday!

"What if we gave her some jewelry?" Varian asked. "Like a necklace and some matching earrings?"

Hiro shot the idea down. "Naw, she already has a whole jewelry box full of that stuff and she hardly ever wears it."

The two boys were standing in the lunch line at the cafeteria discussing what to get Aunt Cass for her birthday.

"Hmmm...what about a new cookbook, then?"

Once again Hiro turned the idea down. "Can't she just look up recipes on her phone?"

"Well then.. I don't know. Why don't you come up with something?" Varian huffed as he grabbed an apple off the bar.

"Ooookay. What about… something sentimental, like a hand made card?" Hiro suggested.

"That's lame."

"Is not. Listen, she'll cry her eyes out over it. Trust me."

"Oh come on, we're not four year-olds. We got money now, let's actually buy her something nice."

The two teens stopped in front of the salad bar where the head lunch lady was busy cutting up vegetables. They continued their debate while they waited on the container holding the salad to be refilled.

"Like what?" Hiro asked. "She hasn't said what she wanted, and I'm sure if there was anything she did want she could just go out and buy it herself."

Varian crossed his arms and cupped his chin in thought. Then his eyes fell on the elderly lunch lady, who was still busy preparing the salad.

"Hey Miss Itamae, I don't suppose you could give us any womanly insight into what a lady turning 37 might want for her birthday?"

The grumpy cafeteria worker didn't answer. She just glared at them both as she deftly sliced a head of lettuce in two. Then went back to cutting up more vegetables with practiced precision.

"You're sparkling conversation is delightful as always Miss Itamae." Hiro said deadpan.

"Hey, wait, no, that's it!" Varian nudged him excitedly. "We'll buy Aunt Cass some new kitchen knives!" He then turned back to the lunch lady with a smug smile. "Thank you for the idea, Miss Itamae. You're always so helpful."

The insincerity dripped from his voice like honey and Miss Itamae only pursed her lips in irritation as she began to chop the lettuce even more fiercely.

Hiro rolled his eyes. The, quite literally, unspoken feud between them and the head lunch lady had only ramped up these last two weeks. True, she had been a little too gleeful when she pulled out the pan of leftover Monday's Mystery Meatloaf to give them, after handing the last hot ham sandwich to Karmi right before them, but Varian antagonizing the woman with his phony politeness probably didn't help matters.

"Aunt Cass literally has several sets of chef knives. I think she, like, collects them at this point."

"Well what if we just expanded her collection then? Does she have a machete yet? Or perhaps one of those big butcher axes?"

Hiro narrowed his eyes at the other boy. "Are you serious? What would she want with a machete?"

Varian shrugged.

"Yeah, no." Hiro continued. "I doubt we could even legally buy one."

"Really? Man, you can't do anything in America." Varian sighed.

Hiro gave Varian another irritated look of disbelief, but before he could say anything else a voice shouted out to them.

"Clear the way! Look out!" Fred yelled.

He was barreling right towards them on a pair of roller skates; careening out of control.

He couldn't stop and both boys had to quickly scramble out the way. Miss Itamae was not so fortunate.

Fred hit the salad bar and toppled over the edge, sending the vegetables flying everywhere and knocking over the poor woman.

"Ooops. Hehe… my bad." Fred said sheepishly as the lunch lady stood back up with a salad bowl on top of her head, lettuce stuck in her hair net and a slice of tomato dripping off her nose.

Miss Itamae stared at him with flame in her eyes and seethed with gritted teeth. Fred tried to helpfully brush off the bits of vegetables that sat on her shoulders, but this only made her even more angry.

She hissed at him and Fred scurried back over the railing as quickly as possible before ducking down on the other side of the bar. He cautiously peaked his head up just long enough to watch the cafeteria lady storm off in a huff; presumably to go get a broom.

"Are those Gogo's skates?" Hiro asked once the lunch lady had left.

"Uh, yeah." Fred admitted guiltily.

"Does she know that you have them?" Varian asked.

Fred dodged the question "Ummm… maybe?"

"Do we even want to know what's going on?" Hiro asked in a weary manner.

"Hiro, as your friend," Fred said as he placed a bracing hand upon the other teen's shoulder, "I feel it's my sworn d- woah, duty to protect you. The less the two of you know the better." And with that solemn proclamation the skates gave out from under him and Fred flopped to the ground.

"In other words she doesn't know, and when she finds out she's going to kill you." Varian confirmed.

"'Kill' is such a strong word, ya know." Fred strained as he gripped the bar and hoisted himself back up.

Varian and Hiro exchanged confused glances and just shrugged.

Hiro sighed and decided to set the matter aside. "Well, Varian and I were just discussing what to get Aunt Cass for her birthday. Got any ideas?"

Fred hummed in thought as he gave the matter some consideration. "Well mom always wants to be taken out to some new fancy restaurant on her birthdays."

"Hey now there's an idea," Varian enthused. "We cook dinner for her!"

"Oh no, you are not fixing any more weird Coronian recipes." Hiro replied.

"Hey, my cooking isn't weird. Besides all you know how to make is cereal."

"Yeah, I'm not a chef, neither of us are."

Varian pouted at that but before he could respond Hiro continued on. "Look, why don't we take her out? It's something she doesn't get to do often and we could both split the bill, deal?"

"Well alright," Varian agreed, "at least it'll save us from having to do the dishes."

"Great!" Fred cheered. "I even know of a place you can take her. Mom loves it."

Just then Gogo burst through the cafeteria doors.

"Hey! Give me back my blades!" She yelled.

"Uh oh." Fred said and clumsily skated away as Gogo furiously ran after him.

"Come on, we better make sure she doesn't actually murder him." Hiro sighed as he started to run after them.

Varian followed, but paused long enough to cheekily wave goodbye to Miss Itamae, who had just finished cleaning up Fred's mess and was back to chopping vegetables once more.

"See ya, Miss Itamae."

The woman never answered back. Instead she just scowled at him as she menacingly held up her knife before slamming it back down hard upon a head of lettuce, severing it in two.

Varian gulped as he backed away and hurried out the door after his friends. Maybe they were pushing the little old woman too hard, he thought.

------------------------

"Are you sure it's not under Hamada?" Hiro asked the maître d' who stood at the front of the restaurant's door. "Then try Templeton."

No such luck.

"Hey, tell them to check under Quirinson." Varian nudged him.

Hiro, Varian, and Aunt Cass stood in line at the Aragosta; the fine dining place that Fred had helped them make reservations for. Only the host was having trouble finding said reservations.

"Okay, how about Quirinson?"

The host shook his head.

"Frederickson?" Hiro squeaked hopefully. The matradee frowned.

Hiro sighed in resignation as Aunt Cass gently scooted the boys out of the way of the other guests who were also waiting to get in.

"Hey, it's okay." She encouraged, "So they lost the reservations. It happens. We can go someplace else and still have tons of fun. How about karaoke instead?"

"Let me check back with Fred first, before we decide to leave." Hiro said as he pulled out his phone.

The phone went straight to voicemail and Hiro hung up in irritation. Things weren't going as planned.

Just then Krei, of all people, walked up next to them on the sidewalk. He was also on his cell phone and didn't seem to notice them.

"But mother, I had these reservations for weeks!" He complained. "Yes I know your annual fundraising event for Helpers Helping the Helpless is important…. Yes I understand that the juggling seals canceled last minute... but surely you could just hire a new act? Why, Judy, my secretary, she can juggle fire for ya, I mean how hard can it be if a dumb seal can do it, right?" He frowned as he listened to the other end of the call, and then sighed deeply, "Alright, you win, as always. Love you too, mother." And with that he hung up.

That's when Keri noticed their little group.

"Oh, uh, hi Cass. Intern. Intern's new cousin-brother-whatever... Fancy meeting you here."

He gave an awkward grin and rocked back and forth on his heels, like a school boy accidentally running into his crush at the mall.

Aunt Cass gave an equally awkward smile. "Hi, Alistair. Trouble with your date?" She joked.

"Oh well, you know mom. Lovely woman, but can't not take charge when there's a crisis." He nervously chuckled. "So what brings you to Aragosta's?"

"We're taking Aunt Cass out for her birthday." Varian replied.

"Oh, it's your birthday!? And here I didn't bring you a gift. Well, happy birthday, Cass. You look great tonight."

Aunt Cass blushed, "Oh well, thank you, but unfortunately the restaurant's lost our reservations, sooo…"

"So it looks like we'll just have to go elsewhere." Hiro interrupted. He gave Krei a hard glare as he tried to quickly shuffle away his aunt. "Bye, Krei."

"Oh now wait a minute," Keri stopped them, "You lost a reservation, and I got a table waiting for me that I'm not going to use anymore. Why not take my spot on the list?"

"Oh, that's nice of you Alistair, but-"

"No buts, I insist. Call it a birthday present."

Keri gave his most charming smile and Aunt Cass looked at the two boys questioningly. Varian enthusiastically nodded yes, while Hiro silently pleaded 'no' to her.

"Weeelll, if you insist." She agreed.

"Wonderful! I'll go square it with the matradee." And with that he hurried off to speak with the host.

"Aunt Cass, why?" Hiro whined as soon as the businessman was out of ear shot.

"Why not?" Varian spoke up. "He's giving us a free table. Just cause you don't like the gu-"

"Boys, boys," Aunt Cass interceded before an argument broke out. "Look, I know Alistair can be a little… hmm.. difficult to get along with sometimes, but he means well and this is a nice gesture. It'd be rude to turn it down."

With that final word Krei returned.

"You're all set. Table number five, and just tell the waiter to put the meal on my tab."

"We were going to pay." Hiro grumbled.

"Oh that's so cute," Krei laughed, "you boys, wanting to do something nice for your aunt. But seriously though, you'll have to take out a loan just to afford the hors d'oeuvres."

Varian raised a worried eyebrow while Hiro only gave an annoyed huff.

"Look this is my treat. Dinner is on me." Keri continued, "Just give the host up there my last name."

He then gave another awkward smile and waved goodbye before turning to leave.

Aunt Cass frowned and Hiro's stomach dropped as he realized what she was about to do. He tried to say no. He tried to speak reason with his aunt, but before he could stop her she was already calling after Krei.

"Oh, won't you join us?" She asked.

"Naw, I couldn't." He sheepishly kicked the ground.

"Good." Hiro said, but was completely ignored as Keri immediately followed up with a, "But if you insist."

He and Aunt Cass shared a smile as they stared into each other's eyes transfixed and Hiro could only let out groan.

------------------------

The lavish interior of the eatery was adorned with Tuscan columns, high vaulted ceilings, and expensive oil paintings that hung upon the walls depicting the ocean. The restaurant was known for its seafood and so there were also aquariums everywhere you looked, tucked away in the most unlikely of places.

Varian couldn't help but curiously stare at one particular aquarium lodged into the center of one of the columns. It didn't look like the most efficient place to house costly and rare tropical sea life to him, but hey, he wasn't a millionaire restaurateur, so what did he know?

The little party was seated near said column at a table covered in white linen and with gold plated cutlery already laid out upon it. They were then given menus bound in black leather by the waiter who was dressed to the nines in a tuxedo, complete with a bow tie.

Varian self consciously looked down at his own plain button down shirt and grey vest and felt hopelessly underdressed in comparison. This place was far more ostentatious than he had been unexpecting.

Well at least he had put more effort into his outfit than Hiro, who's idea of dressing up was to wear his black cargo shorts instead of his usual tan ones. Not that the other boy cared in the slightest. Hiro wasn't the least bit embarrassed about standing out in high society. He was too busy giving Krei the stink eye as the businessman flirted with Aunt Cass.

Varian rolled his eyes in dismissal of Hiro's petty disapproval of their aunt's choice in men and opened the menu. What he saw made his jaw drop.

"Ninety dollars for lobster!?" He sputtered. "Who pays nearly a hundred bucks for freakin' lobster?" He hissed at Hiro under his breath.

Hiro only shrugged, "Yeah, lobster is expensive. So what?"

"But it's lobster." Varian reiterated.

Hiro only stared at him blankly.

"You live right next to the ocean." Varian explained. "You can literally just walk down to the docks and catch yourself one to eat."

"Yeah, but who wants to do that."

"I would. I would much rather catch it and cook it myself than pay a hundred dollars for a lobster ." The disdain in his voice was evident.

"Yeah, but you're weird." Hiro quipped.

Varian gave him a hard look of annoyance, but Hiro only smugly smiled back; knowing full well that Varian wouldn't jump him in such an esteemed establishment with Aunt Cass right there looking on.

Varian grumbled under his breath and went back to looking at the menu. He was going to find at least one thing on here that didn't seem like a colossal waste of money, he swore it.

Back home, seafood was one of cheapest meats you buy at the market. Freshwater or salt, it didn't matter, anyone could catch a fish. Shellfish in particular were deemed low class.

In fact boiled lobster tail was one of the few proteins he could eat in prison. Every once in a while the chef would feed it to them as a 'treat'. But that was only because no one else in the castle wanted it.

He shook the memory away as he tried to calm himself. Never again was he going back to gruel and stale bread; and if he wanted a lobster for dinner, he was sure as heck going to fix it himself the way he liked it and not have to beg for it from anybody!

Aunt Cass and Keri, however, did not notice Varian and Hiro's discussion involving lobsters. They were completely engrossed with each other, giggling over some in-joke that only they two shared. Hiro had gone back to sulking while eyeing the adults disapprovingly.

The tension was only dispersed when the waiter returned to take their orders. Krei rattled off a ridiculously intricate and flamboyant entrée as a suggestion and Aunt Cass agreed to try it. Hiro ordered the most expensive thing he could find on the menu, just to spite Keri, and Varian chose the steak.

"Well it looks like it'll be a while before dinner arrives, so I'm just going to go powder my nose. Be right back." Aunt Cass excused herself.

As soon as she was out of sight Hiro lunged at Keri.

He grabbed the older man by the shirt collar and held up his fork up menacingly.

"Okay, spill it Keri! What are you up to?" He ordered.

"Nothing." The man insisted. "Can't a guy do something nice for once?"

"Not when the guy is you he can't." Hiro said. "Aunt Cass dumped you, remember? It's over."

"Wait, they used to date?" Varian asked, clueless as to what was happening.

"One date," Keri corrected, "and no I'm not trying to get back together with your aunt. Honest."

Hiro eyed him suspiciously and Keri met his gaze steadily. Finally, Hiro relented and let go of the other guy's shirt.

"Then what do you want?" He asked, confused.

"I want your aunt to have a good birthday. Nothing more. So can we please just have a nice dinner without any more threats, or revenge plots hatched by disgruntled employees, or any other weird superhero-y stuff going on?"

Hiro reluctantly sat back down in silent agreement and that was when Aunt Cass returned. Soon thereafter the food arrived and dinner proceeded smoothly for the rest of the night.

------------------------

"I tell ya work has been a nightmare since production started on this new phone line." Keri complained. "I'm at the office everyday it seems like."

"Oh I hear you," Aunt Cass agreed. "The Luck Cat has been swamped for weeks now. I haven't had a day off in almost a month."

Dinner was over and the little group stood outside waiting on their rides. The two boys looked on as the adults chatted. Aunt Cass and Keri had barely stopped conversing with each other the whole night and even Varian was starting to feel just a little left out.

But he had little right to be. When did Aunt Cass get the chance to just hang out with people her age and have fun? By her own admission she was usually either at work all day or taking care of them.

"Sounds like you could use a break." Keri said. "Oooh, crazy idea, I got a membership to a spa retreat up in Napa. They got hot springs and a killer buffet. I'm too busy to go right now, but I can schedule you a trip. You could bring a friend and have a weekend off. What do you say."

"Weeell I don't know... I mean it's tempting, don't get me wrong, but I got the café to take care of and who'll look after the boys?" Aunt Cass said.

"Well surely they're old enough to be on their own for a few days, and I can be on hand if they need anything."

"We can manage the café if you want to go to Aunt Cass." Varian chimed in, happy to help.

Hiro nudged him the ribs, hard.

Aunt Cass pouted and then forlornly shook her head.

"You sure?" Keri asked. "Cause it's no trouble to me. It's the least I can do after.. well, after what happened last time."

Aunt Cass raised an eyebrow and Keri held his hands up defensively.

"I'm not trying to ask you out again. Honest. I know that ship has sailed, and I also know that it was my fault. I just would like to apologize that's all."

"Oh Alistair, you don't need to buy me expensive things just to say 'I'm sorry'. "Aunt Cass smiled warmly at him before continuing on. "But the answer is still no. I just can't right now, not with everything that's going on."

"Well alright, but if you change your mind just give my secretary, Judy, a call. She'll arrange everything." And with that Keri handed Aunt Cass a business card and got into his limo which had just pulled up.

He waved goodbye to everyone before driving away.

------------------------

"I think you should have taken Keri up on his offer." Varian said as they returned to the Luck Cat.

"Why, just so he can try and weasel his way back into Aunt Cass's life?" Hiro grumbled under his breath.

However, Aunt Cass heard him anyways. "Hey now, I can take care of myself, thank you very much." She admonished him. "But no, I'm not going. There's too much to do around here."

"Oh come on, I can look after the café for a few days." Varian insisted.

"And who's going to look after you?" Aunt Cass asked.

Varian looked hurt by that reply. "We can take care of ourselves."

"Oh like how you took care of my toaster?"

"That was an accident, and I put out the fire."

"Umm hmm, and the alarm clock?"

"I fixed it, and it works even better now."

"..and the dishwasher."

Varian opened his mouth to argue but then shut again quickly as he really had no excuse for that particular mishap. They were still finding pieces of broken china to this day.

Hiro snickered at their argument as he reached down under the counter to grab a donut.

The food he had ordered at the restaurant was some weird seafood monstrosity made of jellyfish, kelp, fish eggs, squid tentacles and other unidentifiable fishy bits and bobs. Rich people were weird, was all he had thought as he picked at his meal all night. He was still half starved.

"Oh laugh it up, mister 'I never wash a dish'." Varian shot back.

"I've cleaned dirty dishes before." Hiro said with his mouth full.

"Boys…" Aunt Cass groaned, ending their argument. "Look, I know things have been stressful these last few weeks, what with finals, and the café being busy… and well, everything else, but we can get through this if we stick together, as a family, and not have anymore petty squabbles."

She wrapped an arm around Varian's shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze as she smiled.

The 'everything else' comment didn't go unnoticed by the two teens. Ever since Varian had come to live with them life had been turned upside down inside the Hamada home, in more ways than one, and while everyone was trying their best to adjust, there was still clearly friction over minor things, like chores and little mishaps here and there.

"That's why you should Aunt Cass." Varian insisted. "Finals end next week for us, but the café is still going to be busy no matter what. Why not let me and Hiro run the Luck Cat for a weekend? We can get along for just two days, surely."

"And we can call Chief Cruz if anything goes wrong." Hiro piped in.

Aunt Cass raised an eyebrow "I thought you didn't want me to go?"

"I just don't think you should fool with Keri, but of course, I'm all for you taking a break. Varian's right, you deserve a rest and a few days' of fun."

"Well, I mean, I could ask Tracy what she's up to next weekend, I guess…gee I haven't seen Trace in awhile..." Aunt Cass said as she mulled over their proposal.

"Who's Tracy?" Varian asked.

"She's Aunt Cass's roommate from college." Hiro answered.

"Ah…" Varian nodded in realization, but as soon as he was done Aunt Cass snapped out of her wishful reprieve.

"Oh no, I couldn't. It's too last minute. Besides I can still have fun here with you two." She flashed them a huge grin before walking upstairs.

Hiro ran after her, with Varian following behind. "Well in that case, you can open your presents then." He said.

"More presents?" She asked with a smile as she sat in her favorite comfy chair in the living room.

"Yup!" Hiro said as Varian brought out a gift bag that was hidden in his room, and Baymax, having heard his humans return home, came down the stairs carrying a wrapped box with a bow on top.

"Oh boys, you shouldn't have." She said.

"For you Aunt Cass. Happy Birthday." Baymax said in his usual clipped voice.

"Honey Lemon, Gogo, and Wasabi helped me pick something out for you."

"Oh how nice of them." Aunt Cass exclaimed as she opened up the gift. It was a cute apron with a matching headband and dish towel. In the pocket of the apron was a little booklet of printed recipes that Baymax had downloaded.

"See I told you that a cookbook was a good idea." Varian whispered to Hiro. The other boy shushed him.

"Oh thank you Baymax. I love it." Aunt Cass said as she flipped through the book. As she was reading Mochi, curled up in her lap.

"Do you have a birthday gift for me too, Mochi." She cooed at the cat as she scratched under its chin. The cat of course gave no answer other than a purr.

"I doubt he does, but I think Ruddiger made you something." Varian said in all seriousness.

With that the raccoon popped his head up over the top of the chair, startling Aunt Cass. The forest creature gave her an affectionate nuzzle, causing her to laugh, before jumping down and running off.

Only to immediately return dragging something along the ground with it's mouth.

Once the raccoon had made it back to the chair, it turned around and lifted the thing up with it's paws, as if offering it to her.

It was a plate, and on the plate was an apple inside a cupcake liner with whipped cream swirled on top and a single lighted candle stuck in the center.

"Ooooh how adorable!" She laughed.

"Make a wish!" Varian insisted.

She did and blew out the single candle easily.

"An apple cupcake; oh how did you ever come up with such a clever idea?" She asked of Varian.

"Oh I didn't. It was all Ruddiger. I saw him in the kitchen earlier today putting it together."

This gave Aunt Cass pause. Raccoons were smart, true, but the idea of one actually cooking was ridiculous. But the sheer earnestness of Varian's comment left her confused as to if he was pulling her leg or not.

Ruddiger for his part, looked as proud as he could be, for a raccoon, as he crawled up Varian's back and perched himself on the boy's arm.

"I guess he figured you'd enjoy the same stuff he likes. Oh and don't worry I rescued the cool whip can from him before he could eat the rest."

Aunt Cass tried very hard to keep the smile on her face as the news of the wild creature rummaging in her food stores, again, was made known. She gave a tense laugh, "Well I hope the kitchen is clean by tomorrow before the rush."

The implication in her voice was not lost on Varian. "Already done." He chirped and Aunt Cass sighed in relief.

"There's one more present." Hiro said as he took the gift bag from Varian. "It's from the both of us."

A lump formed in Aunt Cass's throat as she pulled out the gift. It was a framed photograph, of all three of them hugging.

"I had Baymax snap the photo earlier so you wouldn't notice and had prints made." Hiro explained.

"And I bought the frame so you could hang it up." Varian added.

She couldn't stop the tears from flowing as she choked back her gratitude. Instead she excitedly jumped up and ran around the room looking for the perfect place to put it. T'was a difficult task as she already had so many photos scattered throughout the home.

Finally she decided to hang it up on the wall next to the staircase, right alongside an earlier family portrait, this one depicting Tadashi as a young kid and Hiro not much older than a baby.

"I love it." She finally said through her tears, as she stepped back to admire it. "It's the best birthday present I've ever gotten."

The two boys walked over to join her and she wrapped them in a hug that mirrored the one in the picture.

------------------------

Hiro carried the tray full of dishes into the cafe's back kitchen. He placed the heavy load onto the counter and let out a sigh. He then took a moment to gather himself before heading back out into the fray.

The Lucky Cat was packed today; more so than usual. He had volunteered to help out now that his final project was done ahead of schedule, only for them to get slammed with a bus load of tourists in the first 10 mins of opening, on top of the regular customers who usually ate breakfast there.

No good deed goes unpunished; he dryly thought.

Just then Aunt Cass walked into the kitchen as well.

"Phew, it's like a madhouse out there. Have you seen Varian this morning? I know I told him he could have the day off, but I might have to ask him for a rain check on that."

Hiro shook his head. The other boy had left before sunrise, leaving only a text that he was going down to the pier. For what reason though, Hiro could only guess.

He didn't have to wonder for long however, for Varian returned at that moment.

"I didn't!" He sang as he burst through the back door carrying a small wooden crate in one hand.

"Did what?" Hiro asked.

"I caught a lobster." Varian eagerly replied. "See?" And with that he held up the fisherman's trap close to Hiro, who jumped back when a claw emerged from between the gaps in the wooden planks and snapped at him.

Unfortunately there wasn't anywhere to run to and so Hiro wound up crawling onto the counter to escape the creepy creature that Varian teased him with.

Hiro wasn't the only one in the household who didn't care for the lobster either. Ruddiger popped out of the storage cabinet he had been hiding in and crawled up upon Hiro's shoulder and hissed at the invading new animal.

This did not make Hiro any more

comfortable.

Varian though was blissfully grinning ear to ear, too proud of his accomplishment to notice or care about their disapproval.

"I caught him this morning. He's got to be at least 16, no 17, pounds! I've never seen one so big. He barely fits into my homemade fishing crate."

"That's great sweetie," Aunt Cass said with a strained smile, "what are you going to do with him? Have lobster thermidor for supper?"

Varian's smile deflated somewhat as he sheepishly tried to explain to Aunt Cass the circumstances that he found himself in.

"Well that was the plan when I went out fishing this morning, buuut, I kind of, sort of, named him."

And with that admission he hugged the crate as if cuddling a kitten.

This proved to be a bad idea though. As the lobster did not like to be cuddled. It turned its claws to snap at Varian instead who dropped the crate in surprise. The fishing trapped shattered and broke apart upon hitting the ground, freeing the creature inside. Then before anyone could stop it, the overgrown crustacean scurried out the swinging doors and into the café.

"Lorenzo!" Varian called out after it as he ran to catch it once more.

Both Hiro and Aunt Cass stood there dumbstruck as the screams of customers and loud clattering noises, that sounded suspiciously like china breaking, could be heard through the other side of the door.

Hiro snagged a weary sidelong glance at his aunt wondering what she might do. All she did was just stand there, wide eyed, unblinking, with shocked dread upon her face.

The clean up of this mess was going to be a nightmare. She'd probably have to spend hours refunding customers, apologizing profusely to them, and practically begging them not to give her a bad rating online.

Hiro took pity on her, and fished out Keri's business card and her phone out of her purse which was hung up on the coat rack by the back door.

"Here," he said as he handed the phone and card to her, "maybe you should take up that offer." Then he also ran back into the café to help Varian catch the wayward lobster.

On his way out the door he heard Aunt Cass say over the phone, "Hello, is this Judy? Hi I was calling back about the spa…"

#varian #Hiro Hamada #krei #big hero six #tangled #bh6 #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #big hero 6 the series #of rocks and robots #aunt cass

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absurdthirst · 3 years

Note

I have a request I think only you, Queen-Keri, can fulfil. So I had a thought: Marcus Pike gets asked out on a date by a shy woman at work, who he only sees as a good friend. He agrees to 1 date, not wanting to hurt her feelings - until he finds out that she's never been on a date or in a relationship before. Not knowing how to reject this sweety, he tries to make this first (and only date) a magical one - until he realises that he might actually like her...'course, she finds out..- angsty cute?

***Oh my sweet Marcus...love is where you least expect it.

Very First Date

Marcus’s eyebrows wing up in surprise, the gulp of hot coffee going down to the wrong pipe at the question that was being posed to him. He tips his hips back, trying to keep from coffee being spilled on his suit and grabs for his tie with his free hand.

Coughing, he sets the cup down on his desk and slaps his chest a few times. “Oh...hang on.” Choking coughs come out and his eyes are closed so he doesn’t see the panic his reaction has caused in your eyes. “Urgh, sorry. Wrong pipe.” He clears his throat and looks back at you. “I’m sorry, I- can you repeat that?”

He watches you fluster and takes pity on you. “A date?” His heart sinks, hating that he might hurt your feelings. You were a co-worker and someone that he considered a great friend, but he had never exactly imagined you as anything more than that. You were shy and mostly kept your conversations professional, always hesitating from joining in on group lunches, eating at your desk and working through the lunch hour.

“Yeah, I, uh- just thought that you might…..” Your voice tapers off and he can see that you are experiencing self doubt.

While you weren’t his type, he knew what it was like to doubt yourself. One date couldn’t hurt. He could go to dinner with you and then let you down gently. It was the polite thing to do in his mind. You were a good enough friend that you deserved that at least.

“Yeah.” Marcus nods and feels guilty when your face lights up in surprise and happiness. “How about dinner Friday?” He asks, hating how eagerly you accepted.

“That- that sounds great!” You tell him, back out of the office with a smile on your face. “I- uh, better get back to work. But we’ll talk later right?” You ask, and he nods, watching you hurry out of his office, steps light and springy.

Marcus frowns, feeling like an ass, but he just didn’t feel like you were the right fit for him. Always immediately feeling that tug of attraction to the women that he had gone for. You just made him happy, always appreciating seeing you, but it didn’t make his heart beat faster.

“Yeah, great.” He mutters to himself, wondering how he is going to let you down gently.

****

“So a date huh?” Andrews shot a side look over at Marcus and took a sip of his beer. “I thought you weren’t interested in her?”

Marcus flushes, shaking his head and picking up his own bottle. “I’m not, but I - I couldn’t say no.”

They were belly up at the bar that was around the corner from the office. Each one deciding they need a drink after a long day at the office. Marcus spilled about the conversation he had with you to the other agent. His wife was one of your best friends so he wanted to find out some way to let her down gently.

Andrews frowns, putting his beer bottle down and twisting in his seat. “Look, I don’t know if it’s my place or not, but you know she’s friends with Cindy, right?”

“Yeah. That’s why I came to you.” Marcus nods and takes another sip of his beer.

“Well, they talk, like all women do.” Andrews yanks at his collar, obviously uncomfortable with what he was going to say next. That made Marcus worry, he didn’t want to know that she was already naming their future kids.

“She’s never been on a date….” Andrews leans in and confides quietly. “Ever.”

That makes Marcus lift his brows in surprise. You were pretty, shy and kept to yourself, but surely someone? “Ever?” He asks.

“Never. Never had a relationship of any kind.” He leans back in his chair. “Cindy said she’s never asked anyone out, so please don’t - just be kind.”

Marcus huffs at the idea that he would be anything less, even as his mind reels at the newfound knowledge that you asked in to be your first date. Not that you knew that he was aware of that. His heart softens, knowing how difficult it must have been for you to ask, to worry about rejection.

He doesn’t say anything, just sips his beer and decides that he’s going to make his date with you just as nice as he possibly can. It was the least he could do.

****

Your doorbell rings and Marcus is surprised when it takes you a few minutes to open. He had known you were excited when he asked if 7 was too early for you to get ready, but you had assured him that you would be.

Your eyes widen in surprise when they land on the bouquet in his hand and your mouth rounds in a soft ‘o’. “These are for you.” He offers, holding them out and feels a flash of pride for a job well done when you sigh happily.

He had told Andrews that he was going to make it good for you, devising a plan of dinner, then a walk around the national mall. The lights were always beautiful at night, followed up with dessert in this little place he knew that served the best gelato. It was simple, and to be honest, it would allow him time to figure out how to tell you he didn’t think of you as much more than a friend. From what he could see, you had nothing in common. Hoping that he could end the night around ten o’clock with the two of you remaining friends.

“Are you ready?” He asks, smiling at the way you take the flowers and smell them with such a happy smile on your face. He had never seen you so relaxed, or so dressed up. Used to the normal business suits that went along with office life, he hadn’t been able to imagine you in the flirty, halter style dress you were wearing. Obviously new, or how soft you would look with your make more than the bare minimum you wore at work.

“Absolutely.” You turn to put the flowers down and grab your purse, ready to go on your first date.

****

You had talked for hours. Literally hours. Marcus couldn’t remember a date that had not been so filled with conversation. And it wasn’t just about work. No, the two of you had bounced around from topic to topic and at one point stopped eating because you were so caught up in the discussion.

The walk around the mall had turned into absolutely the best kind of surprise. There had been a late summer evening fireworks display that he had watched your face more than the exploding colors in the sky.

He had changed his mind during this date. You were definitely his type. Smart, funny as hell with a humor that caught him off guard. Your kindness just makes his heart beat faster every time he sees it. All things that he had never noticed about you before, making him wonder why he had never seen it. Your quiet nature making him just overlook it?

Marcus checks his watch, already a good hour past the time he had originally told Andrews he was going to take you out. Not really wanting it to end, he tries to think of what else. Coffee?

Your phone dings and Marcus pulls his hand out of yours reluctantly so you can get it out of your purse. While he didn’t want to let go, he knew that it was possibly something work related. Both of you being chained to your devices.

Your gasp catches his attention and he looks over. Dread makes his stomach plunge down to his feet when he sees that it’s from Cindy. ‘I’m so sorry hun, I know that you liked Marcus but if he doesn’t feel the same way it’s not going to work.’

Except he hasn’t said a word to you about how he’s felt and neither of you had even bothered pulling your phones out before right now. Too engrossed in the date that had fast become one of the best Marcus had ever been on.

“Listen, I can explain-”

“You - you took me out on a pity date?” He winces at the hurt in your voice. “You- you told Jeff that you didn’t actually feel anything for me?”

“No! I- I told him-”

“You know what?” Marcus stops and stares at you, anger and hurt written all over your face. “I don’t give a damn what you told him. Goodbye Marcus.”

Turning on your heel, you walk away from him. Every step you take makes him feel like the worst kind of asshole. He thought about chasing you down for about two seconds, but knew that it would just snowball into something worse. No, it was best to let you cool off before he tried to explain that while he might have originally not been interested, now he definitely wanted a second and third date with you.

****

You were miserable. You had caught a cab home from the mall and managed to get into your house before you broke down in tears. Embarrassed and utterly humiliated that you had been taken out on a date when he hadn’t been interested. Even more so when you called Cindy and she admitted that Jeff had told him that you had never been on a date. You had even contemplated asking for a transfer of assignment.

The night was spent wallowing in self pity. Hating that your first date, what had been better than you had ever dreamed, was simply because Marcus hadn’t wanted to hurt your feelings. Your flowers were still sitting in the vase you had set them in, mocking you but you hadn’t had it in you to throw them away.

The knock on your door rouses you from your spiraling emotions. You grumble but get off the couch where you had been curled up with your favorite blanket and a pint of ice cream for breakfast.

“I’m coming.” You huff, annoyed at the interruption. Unlocking the door, you swing it open to find Marcus Pike standing on your doorstep. “What do you want?”

Marcus winces at your tone, holding up the coffee holder and bag. “I- I brought breakfast and I was hoping we could talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You tell him, moving to close the door on him.

“Please.” One word makes you stop. His tone is pleading and you look up to find him looking at you earnestly, begging you with his eyes to just listen.

“Five minutes.” You open the door more and turn to walk towards your sofa. Flopping down and wrapping your blanket around you again, like gathering an extra layer of armor around you.

Marcus follows you in, closing the door carefully and bringing the drink holder and bag over to the coffee table before he wipes his hands on his jeans nervously. You aren’t helping him, staring at him like he’s the last person on earth you wanted to see. Which at the moment was pretty fair.

“I’m going to be honest.” Marcus starts, making you huff. “That would be a first.” You mutter, but he just ignores that, knowing that you have every right to be upset at him.

“When I said yes, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” He looks down at his feet and sighs. “I liked you as a friend and didn’t want to hurt you, but I didn’t think that I was interested.”

“You could have said no.” You point out, even knowing how much Marcus tried not to hurt people.

“I know.” Marcus sighs. “My original plan was to just take you out to dinner and tell you that while I thought of you as a dear friend, I wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with you. But then Andrews told me-”

“I know what he told you.” You interrupt, staring at the ice cream container that is sitting on the coffee table. To distract yourself, you lean forward and grab one of the coffees that he had brought. “He shouldn’t have.”

“I’m glad he did.” He admits quietly. “I wanted to make it good. To show you what you deserved to expect when someone who liked you asked you out. I wanted to make your first date as good as I possibly could.”

You take a sip, concentrating on the taste of the coffee. He earned points for bringing your favorite and for wanting to make it a good date. It had been lovely until she had received that text.

“You had a time frame for our date.” You accuse, making him flush slightly.

“I had told him that I planned on being honest with you around a certain time.” He concedes, bending down on one knee in front of the sofa, looking you in the eyes. “The reason that didn’t happen was because I- I had such a great time that I didn’t want it to end.”

You give him a confused look and watch as Marcus reaches for your hand hesitantly while giving you time to pull away. He takes your hand gently. “I changed my mind. While we were at dinner, I realized that I had a better time than all of the other dates that I could remember and I wanted to take you on another date.”

He watches you, waiting for you to say something. His eyes earnest and you can tell he is telling you the truth. “Another date? So, you are interested in me now?” You ask slowly, wanting to make sure you were on the same page.

He nods, “I am. I would very much like to take you out on another date and then another after that. But I understand if -”

“Take me to breakfast.” You interrupt him, making his eyes widen in shock.

“What?” He asks, surprised by your demand.

“Take me to breakfast.” You repeat with a smile. You push the blanket off your body and swing your feet to the floor. “Let me get dressed and you can convince me to have a third date over pancakes.”

Marcus slowly grins, nodding and standing to help you up. “That sounds great.”

MasterList

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#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character fanfiction #marcus pike #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x reader #marcus pike x f!reader #marcus pike imagine #marcus pike fanfiction

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thealogie · 3 years

Note

We know that The Americans is homophobic because it's a refined textbook example of queer relationships except they're all straight as far as we can tell. (Six seasons of seducing targets & learning their deepest secrets and not ONE of them was gay? unrealistic)

Please do me a solid and rate the gay energies of the mains on this show so we can know where we were truly robbed

@korusalka Thank you for this perfect ask that only you and I and perhaps two other people will be able to understand. (Warning for spoilers.)

Elizabeth Jennings: we gotta start with our main duo here and I gotta say that Elizabeth’s behavior from the beginning to the finale screams of closeted internalized homophobia lesbian behavior. would I make her a kinsey 6 on this version of the show? no because she loves Philip and their love drives me insane. But would I assign her a kinsey 6 on a version of the show without period typical homophobia where she’s undercover with a wife in the US instead and everything else is the same? Would I assign her a kinsey 6 in the version of the show I sometimes watch in my head where Philip is unacknowlegedly a trans lesbian? Yes. This woman is simply a lesbian going on a crusade because she’s not allowed to realize she’s gay. In the good version of THIS show however, we would’ve seen her seduce one woman mark for a mission. she goes into it cold and “acting” as always and we see through keri’s facial acting how disarmed and pleasantly surprised she is by the tenderness as things get going and she ends up having an amazing orgasm she did NOT expect. She goes home shaken by how real it was. She is cold and distant when Philip tries to comfort her. This is never mentioned in the show again.

Philip Jennings: see above. Philip Jennings exhibits so many lesbian behaviors that I’m almost ready to just assign him lesbian. but let’s take a step back into reality and not just go for the lesbians AU version of the show: This man would have been comfortably and openly bisexual had he not been fucked up by the KGB. He’d have absolutely no problem with it. He should’ve been dating state department guys on the show tbh, which would send Elizabeth on all sorts of new jealousy spirals like “fuck I was jealous of Martha and now I have to compete with state department twinks??”

Martha: controversially? I believe this to be a straight woman. I mean no one is 100% straight. Martha definitely “experimented” in college and one time she and Clark would have a threesome because Marta wants to spice things up and Clark notices that perhaps Martha seems like she is enjoying making out with this woman in the threesome aaaaa lot. But anyway, she really is genuinely fairly straight. She simply puts up with Clark’s drug dealer boyfriend behavior in a way that is “please please straight girl let me help you want better!”

Stan: same as Elizabeth except replace the Soviet style communism with American conservatism as the force that’s keeping him from even considering that he’s 100% gay. This is a man whose drama is fueled by not realizing he’s a kinsey 6. The failed marriage? The desire to do undercover work? The dedication to his work and his brotherhood-dominated workplace? The avenging his partner complex? The way he is with Philip? All of this drama could have been avoided if stan kissed a boy. He’s never thought about it. Good version of the show we see him checking out Philip in the showers once without meaning to and getting turned on and crying in his car about it, banging his head on the steering wheel. It is never mentioned again.

Nina: cool bisexual for sure. in the good version of the show she’s actually shopping for cool music to send back to her gf and that’s how her whole drama starts and it makes stan’s blackmail that much worse. not to bring an “orange is the new black” vibe to this but in the good version of the show she also later has a tender and brief romance in prison with an older woman who’s in there for doing Cool Journalism. They’re terrified and they cling to each other

Oleg: a gay ally. He’s been to gay clubs in DuPont circle with his gay American friends and is “charmed by the culture.” When Nina comes clean to him about the “I had a gf” aspect of her story, he simply says “oh. I love Freddie Mercury.”

Gabriel: His tragic backstory is that he was in unrequited love with an agent he was managing and the agent died on the job and Gabriel has been blaming himself for it for over a decade and everything he does is motivated by that.

Claudia: she’s straight and homophobic and offended by how universally people just assume she’s a lesbian. In the “gay people exist” version of the show Gabriel tries to commiserate with her about his gay backstory and she’s like “there is no homosexuality in the USSR! I am not gay!” There are several clues dropped to us, the audience, that she is another closeted gay but this is never fully explored or confirmed

Paige: I wasn’t gonna include the kids but it’s really important to note that a bunch of my friends in high school got into that exact brand of cool Christianity (the evangelizers literally used Sufjan Stevens to lure them in). They are all lesbians now including two who thought they were cishet men at the time. This girl is on a clear trajectory

#the Americans #korusalka

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thestarwrites · 3 years

Text

All Right, All Might: Ch.8

Word Count: 3,242

Rating: PG

Painting: Toshinori Yagi X FemOC

The UA Guidance Counselor, a quirk user with Pathokenesis, is shocked to find out her personal hero All Might is coming to be a teacher. The road they walk as a parallel starts to merge and there’s no telling what could happen. The attack on the USJ has sparked a lot of things from happening -- including a new level of relationship for Toshinori.

---

CHAPTER EIGHT: The Morning After

A soft hum leaves Patho’s lips as she feels the sunlight through the blinds on her cheeks, and the long lean arms around her waist — wait — her eyes pop open and she looks down at the familiar hands and arms of Toshinori wrapped around her from behind. Her whole body feels like its on fire in an instant. Biting her lip she turns her face to look at him. He looks like an angel.

She remembers going to bed with him — not WITH him, but, she made him sleep in the queen sized bed. He was injured after all. He went to sleep curled up on one side of the bed, and she on the other. When did they start spooning?

Closing her eyes again she sighed softly, it felt so nice to be in his arms. She could still smell his cologne faintly on his skin, she loved the smell of him. His whole aura was still big and strong and powerful - he just didn’t think so - so being in his arms felt so safe. She knew it was the only place she ever wanted to be.

Things will be different one day, when they are we can talk about it then.

His words from last night rang through her head, she didn’t want to have to wait until that one day came. She knew he was selfless, that he wouldn’t want to put a burden on anyone - but he deserved to be happy too. To chase what he wanted. Keri sighed and turned in his arms slowly so she was facing the sleeping man’s face.

They would have to talk about this now.

Leaning up she pressed a soft kiss to his forehead, “Toshinori…”

He hummed softly, squeezing the plush woman in his arms, “Not yet…”

She chuckled gently, “Toshi… come on.”

Toshinori blinked his eyes open and flushed bright red, “UH— I UH—“ Keri put her hand on his chest, activating her quirk to calm him. After a few moments he swallowed thickly, “We’re… very close.”

“I know, I woke up with you spooning me,” Keri smiled, “Problem?”

He flushed beet red, “No— no I… I just don’t remember…”

“We just must have been drawn to another body in the bed, you and I usually sleep alone you know?” She gingerly ran her hand over his chest, “Toshi…. i…. I want us to have that talk you mentioned.”

“Keri.”

“No. I want to have that talk now because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow or the next day and I don’t want to do this anymore.” She looked sternly up at him, tears in her eyes.

His own eyebrows knit together, “Don’t cry—“

“Toshinori, will you go out on a date with me?” She looked up at him, cheeks red, eyes glassy.

The older man felt so conflicted to look into her eyes and know what life had in store for him still, he thought about Nighteye in that moment, about his mentor, about All for One. She didn’t know everything, how could he tell her everything? She dealt with enough, and now she was going to have to deal with more student issues due to the attack the previous day.

Taking a deep breath he sighed, “Keri… you’re just still all worked up from yesterday is all, you don’t mean that.”

She scoffed softly, “I know perfectly well what I mean and what I don’t mean. I was so worried yesterday and, and I spoke to your friend outside — he… he asked me how long I’ve had feelings for you.”

Toshinori’s cheeks reddened as he looked at her, his arms still wrapped comfortably around her. He wanted to get up, put some distance between them - but he was frozen, “You… have feelings for me?”

“Yeah… I do.”

He took a deep breath and sighed, “You don’t want me, I’m… I’m old and I’m ugly, and I’m all but washed up at this point, and I… I don’t frankly know how long I’m going to live. You don’t even know me that well because I always keep everyone at arms length…”

“I do want you,” She looked up at him, “I know I don’t know everything. And you can take your time telling me what you want to tell me. You’re my best friend, Toshi.” She gently squeezed his shirt, “I want to try… but if you don’t… then that’s okay too.”

Toshinori looked at the girl he trusted implicitly and he considered everything they’ve been through so far together. She knew about things no other woman knew about him, he so willingly let her almost completely into his life. He’d been asked so many times now if they were dating — well, here she was asking to try? Who was he to deny her?

Taking a deep breath, the older man gently rubbed her side, “I want to try.”

A tear slipped down her cheek as she broke into a smile, “You do?”

He nodded and smiled bashfully, “I’ve never been in a relationship before… I… I don’t know how good I’ll be at it.”

Keri just laughed softly, “We’re literally just going to be what we’ve always been — just, adding in this…”  Leaning up, she pressed her lips gently to his and his whole body tensed. His hands gripped into her hips as he slowly began to kiss her back. His hand slowly threaded into her long messy hair. After she pulled back with a soft smile he chuckled, “I think I can handle that…”

Smiling she ran a thumb over his cheek, “Come on… we have to get ready for work. It’s a big day. You have the big meeting with Nezu and the other teachers, and I have to start 1-A’s counseling.”

He groaned, “Its too early.”

“No, I gotta bring you back to your apartment to get ready.” She chuckled, “I don’t want you to use your hero form until you get to school.”

“Yes, dear.” He smirked and kissed her softly once more before she pulled out of his arms and stood up, stretching, “So… will you still go on a date with me?” Toshi smiled.

Nodding she grinned, “Yes.”

—————

Walking up to the school with Toshinori in his All Might form was strange enough, usually when she was with him he was himself, her small might. But today, he had his arm crooked for her to hold onto, and her arms were wrapped around his enormous bicep, “Are you sure you’re okay with this Toshinori...? It’s only going to be a few moments until we’re seen.” She whispered softly.

He smiled a winning smile down at her, “I asked you on a date! What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t escort you to work!?”

She giggled gently at his explosive cheer, “Toshi- I’m serious.” “I’ve wanted to walk with you like this for a while, I don’t care who sees. Everyone we know apparently thinks we’re dating, right? So, here we are on time and ready for work.” He smiled more subtly, and winked.

Blushing she smiled and nodded, “All right, All Might.”

Walking into the front doors of UA, the kids still in the hallway seemed to stare in disbelief- wasn’t that the guidance counselor? - some whispered. Some less kind words reached her ears and she almost looked down, pulling away before she heard a strong voice. Her anchor, “Look at me, baby,” she looked up, “You look beautiful today.”

She flushed bright red, keeping control over her quirk- but barely- “Toshi...” she smiled.

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your office,” he smoothly took her hand and led her to the elevator, as if he was in hero mode saving her from being embarrassed. Once they were alone in the small room, he leaned down and kissed her forehead, “You okay?”

“Yeah- you?”

He nodded with a small smile.

She took a deep breath and leaned into him, “You’ll make sure to fill me in on what Nezu and the others have to say at the meeting, right? Since I can’t attend.”

“Oh yes, of course, I’ll fill you in over lunch,” he nodded, stopping to take her hand once more to walk her to her office on the administrative floor, “You’re going to be great today.”

Chuckling gently she motioned for him to lean down, and she stroked his cheek gently, “So are you... I’ll see you at lunch.”

He nodded and leaned into the gap, kissing her softly.

—————

Across town… an old hero was sitting down with his breakfast to watch the morning news and read an interesting letter from an old student…

Greetings,

The air is warm here, it feels like summer is around the corner. I hope this letter finds you well, sir, in good health and even better spirits. This semester I took a position as a teacher at UA High School. Thats right. Me. Now guiding the next generation of heroes.

I was hoping to find someone worthy of inheriting my power among the elite students at the school. A hero in training with outstanding test scores and a powerful quirk. However, before my tenure even began, I met a young man. Even though he was weak and had no quirk of his own, he showed incredible bravery. He rushed into a dangerous situation that pro heroes, even myself, to hesitate.

He managed to save the life of a classmate. He might not have had a plan when he ran in, but he knew he had to do something. I feel like watching this young man spring into action taught me something that day. It reminded me of the virtues I must embody in order to call myself aa hero. Thats why I meant it when I told him he too could become a hero. Shortly after that, I told this pupil the secret of my quirk, and proposed that he inherit it from me - he accepted without hesitation. I have been training him for the trials he will have to overcome, in order to be accepted into the hero course at UA. Even though he struggles with his abilities, he gives it 100 percent as he tried to harness One for All.

I don’t like to toot my own horn, but I believe I found the perfect person. Who has what it takes to be a real hero. I’m still quite new at the role of instructor, so the time may come when I have to trouble you, my old teacher, for advice. I’ll be counting on your wisdom and patience when that time comes.

Until then, please take care of yourself as the seasons begin to change.

There is, however, something troubling me that I would like to request your advice on now, sir. There is a woman in my life. I think I am in love with her, and I don’t know what to do. She knows my secret, she knows about One for All. I actually met her last year when I visited UA to speak to Nezu. She and I have been almost inseparable and, sometimes I can convince myself maybe she has feelings for me as well.

She is the schools guidance councilor. Patho is her hero name - but her name is Keri Chairo. Isn’t that a beautiful name? But she’s so young, she’s a year younger than Aizawa, and - well, suffice to say, I am so conflicted on what to do.

What would you do?

I’ll continue to keep you updated on what’s happening with my young pupil.

Sincerely Yours, Toshinori Yagi

“So,” he smirked, “Toshinori has found himself a successor and a woman in such a short time, I’ll have to write back immediately. Poor sap.”

————————

Keri smiled, pouring a cup of tea for Eijiro Kirishima, her first student counseling session of the morning, “How are you feeling this morning, Eijiro?”

The red-headed boy smiled up at her, “I’m feeling okay… a little weary but… I think mostly okay?” He picked up the cup, blowing on it, “Thank you for the tea— you have a really cute office.”

She smiled again and sat back down, “Thank you, so, you’re class is getting a lot of attention, hm?”

“Yeah! We’re like celebrities!” He laughed a little, “But, I dunno…” Patho tilted her head and rested her chin on her hand to listen to him, “I don’t know if I’m ready to be seen like that, helpless in a disaster. It just, it makes me think about when I was in middle school.”

She took a sip of her tea and pushed a plate of cookies toward him, “What do you mean, Eijiro? What happened in middle school?’

“I just,” he paused, clearly still shaken up under his cool facade, “I used to be such a coward, I never helped anyone. And I mean - yesterday? I don't think my stupid quirk helped anyone either.”

Keri smiled softly, her forehead beginning to glow as she sent calming waves toward the teen, “First off, your quirk is certainly not stupid. You just haven’t unlocked its full potential yet is all, that’s what most quirk users lack, the motivation to find out where they fit.”

He sipped his tea, feeling a little better already.

“Also, recognizing you want to be better and to actively take steps to improve yourself into the man you want to be - that’s extremely brave and grown up to do, you know.”

“It… is?” Kirishima blushed.

She nodded, “Of course. Plenty of us pros are scared to death, but we know what we need to rise to become to be heroes, and you definitely understand that already, Eijiro. Most of your classmates probably skated by all their life until now.” She smiled, “When you’re someone without vast amounts of power, you respect and work for it. But those who have always had power? They’ll end up having more work to do on themselves in the long run. So, really, you’re ahead.”

A small, bashful smile came over his face, “You think I’m ahead?”

Keri nodded, “I do.” She took another drink of her tea, “I think you’re a sensitive, sweet, brave guy. Definitely the picture of what it means to be a man - you just keep holding that image of who you want to be in your head, Eijiro, and I know you’ll hone your quirk and do great things.”

His eyes pricked with tears and he grinned, wiping at his eyes, “Miss Keri, you’re the coolest ever… I mean it.”

Giggling gently she smiled, “Would you like to hang out here a little while longer and drink your tea?”

He hummed softly, “Yeah. I really would it that’s okay, Miss.”

“Of course it is, Eijiro - so tell me, who is your favorite hero?”

Grinning he seemed to be shaken our of the small funk he was in, “Crimson Riot! The gentleman hero! He’s so cool and manly and he always does what’s right! I wanna be just like him!” She giggled gently and smiled before he paused, “Who’s your favorite hero, miss Keri?”

She blushed a little and chuckled, “Well, when I was a little girl… I wanted to be just like All Might. I had this doll of him that I carried around everywhere.”

He laughed, “It must be so amazing to get to work with him!”

“Oh… its certainly something alright,” She chuckled.

“You guys are like... really close right? I mean — I heard someone say you were holding hands this morning?” He leaned over and smirked, “Whats the deets?”

Keri blushed and sighed, looking at him, “You are definitely very charming, I’ll give you that. I don’t see any reason why you wont have a sea of groupies when you get your license…”

“You didn’t answer my question!” He pouted.

She smirked, “A woman’s got to have some secrets, hm?”

Huffing he slid down in his seat, finishing his tea, “I guess.”

Laughing softly she stood, “Okay, Eijiro, I think it’s time for you to head back to class. But you come and see me any time you’re feeling down and out - or even if you just need someone to chat with, okay?”

He smiled and picked up his backpack, going to the door, “Thanks Miss Chairo, I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Anytime,” she smiled and waved, closing the door, she sighed, “He’s relatively fine from that — lets see, who’s next—“

She didn’t even need to look at her calendar as the door slammed open, “Why do I keep ending up here, nerd.”

Turning she smiled, “Good morning Katsuki.”

“Tch, whatever Pathological. I passed shitty hair in the hall, so - is he over here like a sap getting his head shrunk and all that?” He crossed over to the fridge, “Can I have some of this milk?”

“Of course,” Keri rolled her eyes with a smile, “Eijiro and I were talking about our favorite heroes.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes as he poured a glass, “Such a waste of time coming out of damn class to shoot the shit. I know who his favorite hero is, and it isn’t All Might. Who he hell’s favorite hero isn’t All Might?”

She smiled a little more, “I mean, you know I’m in agreement with you.”

“Yeah, I know. You’re his little sidekick nowadays. Never see one without the other. It’s annoying. Someone told me you two were holding hands this morning. Never thought All Might would let a dumb girl get in his way.” He took a drink of the milk before going to sit down.

“Why does everyone keep bringing that up?”

“Tch, what are you, dense?” He looked at her in earnest for a moment, “This is all Might we’re talking about, not some extra like Ectoplasm. All Might comes to school holding hands with your dumb ass, of course people are gonna talk.”

“Well then, lets just cut to the point shall we? How are you feeling from yesterday, Katsuki?” “I feel fine. What’s the big deal? This is more a UA problem than a me problem.”

“I just need to check with everyone, especially for the sake of your parents, that you are all going to be alright in the weeks to come, especially with the Sports Festival looming.”

He leaned back on his chair, eating a cookie, since they were there, “Well my parents know I’m fine, I know I’m fine, and I’m gonna win that damn festival.”

She smirked, “Well, good.”

Frowning he put his chair legs back on the floor, ‘Whats that smirk for, dumbass?”

Patho just sighed, “You’re my favorite student, you know that?”

His cheeks lit red and he coughed, “Of course I’m your favorite! I’m the best at everything! Even seeing the guidance councilor! I’m going back to class. These cookies suck.” He chugged the rest of his milk, going to rinse out the glass, “I’m sure there are other extras who need to talk more than me. I don’t need you. You know? I just come up here to humor you.”

“Of course, Katsuki.” She smiled, “Have a good day, alright?”

“I will!” He huffed, still blushing, “and you know- like, you too — DUMBASS.” He practically steamrolled out of the door and she laughed to herself.

She had a ten minute break between appointments now, and so she let her thoughts wander to Toshinori as she cleaned up her office for the next student - Tenya.

#all might x reader #all might x oc #my hero academia #all might #toshinori yagi

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