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abovethemists · 1 year

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Tea and Roses

Summary: Two months after moving away from Storybrooke, Belle receives a surprise visitor. The conclusion to priest!Gold fic, Brimstone and Mistletoe.

A/N: This was supposed to be posted for Fluffapalooza, but *shrug emoji*.

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The whistle on the kettle trilled through the small apartment, and Belle rushed to take it off the burner. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure Gideon was alright. He let out a happy little squeal from his spot on the rug, waving the little soft crinkle book in his fist.

Belle let out a sigh, pouring the hot water from her kettle over the teabag in her mug. It was a Sunday morning, and she was trying to do something she hadn’t done in ages: relax.

She left the tea to steep, going back to the living room to sit next to Gideon. He wasn’t much for tummy time, but the pediatrician said it was important for his future development. He seemed content for the moment though, so Belle leaned back against the sofa at her back, watching her son.

Gideon rolled himself onto his back, giving Belle a gummy smile and her heart clenched. At five months old, he was starting to look so much like his father. His eyes had darkened from newborn blue to an achingly familiar warm brown. The little dimples that blossomed on his cheeks when he smiled, the soft brown color of his hair, every bit of it screamed who his father was to anyone paying attention. It was part of the reason Belle had moved to Boston in the first place.

Only part of the reason though. It was true that Storybrooke had seemed a colder place once it became impossible to hide her pregnancy. But even that hadn’t driven Belle from Maine.

She just couldn’t stay there. She couldn’t catch his eye across the street, she couldn’t see him in the shops or at the diner, and pretend he meant nothing to her. She was sure her face betrayed her anytime they did happen upon one another. It was why she’d stopped going to church. It was why she’d avoided him. She would ruin him, and she loved him too much for that.

Belle leaned down to press a kiss to Gideon’s chubby little cheek before helping him to roll back on to his tummy.

“We’re not done yet, Gid,” she chastised him gently. Gideon let out a little fuss and Belle moved a few of his favorite toys in front of him to distract him. Then she took the five steps to the kitchen to fetch her tea.

The apartment wasn’t much, just a one bedroom flat and even that was stretching her paycheck to its limit. They’d need a bigger place as Gideon grew, but for now it was enough. He slept in a little cot beside her bed, and Belle liked the excuse to keep him so close. She wished she could provide her son with a beautiful nursery, filled with fluffy stuffed animals and cute pictures on the walls. But she was afraid she’d never be able to provide him with material luxuries. She’d go to the ends of the earth to keep him healthy and happy though. And she could offer all the love in the world.

Perhaps they wouldn’t stay long in Boston. They could always move on to some other small town with a lower cost of living. Her heart twisted at the thought. For now, at least, Father Gold knew where they were. If they moved on further, she’d never hear from him again.

Not that she expected to hear from him. Even in her wildest flights of fancy, she couldn’t imagine it. He’d told her he loved her, but he’d let her go. He’d made his choice, and she had to live with it. No matter how she wished their circumstances were different, she was well aware he was unavailable the night they’d fallen into bed together. She’d made a choice as well.

Belle blew across the surface of her tea, tossing the bag in the kitchen wastebasket. Gideon had lifted himself up on his hands, getting his whole top half off the floor. Belle glanced around the cramped apartment, at all the potential hazards of pointed furniture edges and electrical outlets. Gideon would be crawling soon and it was high time to babyproof further. That was a problem for tomorrow Belle, however.

Instead, she flipped the TV on, a commercial for a jeweler filling the screen and reminding Belle of the upcoming holiday. Valentine’s Day was in two days, not that Belle had any special plans. Gideon was too young for candy hearts and sweets, though she looked forward to celebrating holidays with him as he got older, and she certainly didn’t have any other Valentine’s. Her co-worker, Tevin, had invited her out for drinks, but she’d politely turned him down saying she’d never be able to find a sitter at such late notice. It was almost comical the way Tevin’s eyes widened, his face falling at the realization she was a mother. Even if Belle’s heart had been remotely available, she was sure Gideon would scare away most men. Being a single mother of a baby so young almost certainly led people to believe there was a very recent ex in the picture, sharing custody and hanging around all the time. That wasn’t the case for Belle, but she didn’t feel the need to over explain her situation to anyone.

So Belle was planning to spend the night alone, perhaps she’d splurge on a bottle of wine and watch a Jane Austen adaptation on TV. She could imagine a world where Mr. Darcy or Captain Wentworth or Mr. Knightley swept her off her feet. And, if they all seemed to morph into the same man, with sad brown eyes and a weary little smile, she’d just go to bed early and try to forget about him.

It was no fun having a broken heart on Valentine’s Day. It was even less fun when you’d broken your heart yourself. She didn’t blame Father Gold for any of this. It had been her doing. She had kissed him first. She had seduced him. She had let her stupid little crush run wild and now she was here with the consequences. Not that she’d ever consider Gideon to be a burden. He was the very best thing that had ever happened to her.

But Father Gold couldn’t uproot his life over her mistake. He would lose his job, his community, everything he had ever known. Belle was used to being on her own. She had been since she broke off her engagement back in Australia, not hearing a peep from her father since. She could do this on her own too.

Gideon had rolled on to his back again and she put her tea down on the coffee table before scooping him up, balancing him on her hip.

“Had enough?” she asked.

Gideon just babbled happily at her, reaching one chubby fist out to wrap in her hair, giving it a painful yank.

“Ouch!” she exclaimed, and Gideon’s eyes widened. “No pulling hair, sweet thing!”

She bent to kiss his little neck and he giggled uncontrollably. He was so ticklish. She wondered if it was something else he’d inherited from his father like his eyes and his dimples, and assumed she’d never know.

There was a knock on the door and Belle set Gideon on the floor once more, raking a hand through her tangled hair. She was a fright, unshowered and dressed in her favorite pair of leggings that were starting to pill on the thighs, and an oversized t-shirt. But there wasn’t one single person she was trying to impress in Boston, so there was no harm in answering the door. It was probably just Mrs. Howe from next door come to yell at her again that the TV was on too loud for nine in the morning.

She threw the apartment door open, looking out into the hall expectantly, but there was no miserable old lady in house slippers waiting for her. Instead her heart stuttered to a stop at the person on her doorstep.

“Father Gold,” she said, her shock turning to confusion.

He had a dozen roses clenched in one hand, a gift wrapped box wedged beneath his other arm. He looked as dazed as she felt, his dark eyes raking over her face as though desperate for the sight.

“Belle,” he said breathily.

“What,” she paused to swallow, needing to wet her suddenly dry throat. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, these are for you,” he said, holding out the flowers in his hand. Belle took them instinctively.

“They’re beautiful,” she said with a small smile, taking in the crimson blooms. “But you came all the way to Boston to give me flowers on February the 12th?”

Father Gold looked down self-deprecatingly, shifting his feet with uncertainty.

“No, no,” he said, glancing up at her from beneath a curtain of his dark hair. “I’ve, um, recently moved.”

“Here,” she repeated stupidly. “To Boston?”

“Yes,” he agreed, his cheeks tinging slightly pink. “Is that alright?”

Belle shook her head, trying to wrap it around the fact that Father Gold was here, at her apartment, hours away from Storybrooke. It was incongruous. Like seeing a teacher outside of school as a child.

“Of course,” she said finally. “You can move anywhere you like. Did you transfer to a new church?”

She wasn’t sure what this all meant. If he’d followed her to Boston it didn’t really change anything. He was still unavailable. He still couldn’t acknowledge Gideon as his son. Did he expect her to be his mistress? Like some renaissance era cardinal, fathering bastard after bastard? A little flame of anger, something she hadn’t felt in all this time, flared to life in her belly. Would he really keep her from finding happiness? She wouldn’t keep him from his son, but if her heart was to heal, they needed to keep their distance.

Gold just shook his head, a sad little smile crossing his features.

“May I come in?” he asked, glancing behind her into her apartment.

“Okay,” she agreed, stepping back. It wasn’t as if anything untoward could happen with Gideon lying on the living room rug after all.

Father Gold stepped inside, glancing around before his eyes fell on Gideon, his whole face softening at the sight of his son. The baby boy had rolled on to his back, finally giving up on tummy time for good, and was thrashing his stuffed bunny around almost violently.

“He’s getting big,” Gold said sadly.

“Yeah,” Belle agreed. “90th percentile for height at his last doctor’s appointment. No idea how that happened.”

“He certainly didn’t get it from me,” Gold agreed.

Belle found a vase beneath her kitchen sink, arranging the roses in it and setting it on her small dining table. Then she turned back to face Gold who was still staring at Gideon with a look of wonder on his face.

“So, what brought you to town, Father?” she asked.

He startled at being addressed and his eyes snapped over to Belle.

“Not Father, not anymore,” he said, laying the gift box he’d been holding beside the flowers.

It was then that Belle noticed his change of dress. He was still wearing dark slacks and a black blazer, but the black shirt and clerical collar were gone. In their place was a black and white checkered button down shirt she’d never seen him in before. In fact, she’d never seen him out of his collar or vestments, except for the one time she’d seen him in nothing at all. The night they’d made Gideon.

“What?” she asked, breathlessly.

Gold spread his hands wide.

“I quit,” he said.

Belle’s eyes bulged.

“You can do that?”

Gold nodded. “It’s called laicization. I requested to leave the clergy and it was granted. The church doesn’t really want you to stay if you don’t want to be there. It’s a calling, not a career.”

“Oh,” Belle said, her head spinning. He’d left the church. He was free . And he was here, in her kitchen.

There were few times in Belle’s life where she’d ever been anyone’s first choice. The idea that Father Gold, or Mister Gold, had given up so much for her, was a heady one.

His eyes turned back to Gideon on the floor and Belle felt a dawning realization. It wasn’t for her.

She bit her lip, tamping down her disappointment. She refused to be jealous of her own child. It was stupid, and fruitless.

“What will you do instead?” she asked, going to the burner where the kettle was still warming and preparing a cup of tea for her guest. It was the least she could do.

“I’ve always been handy,” he said, flexing the hands in question. “I got a job at an antique shop doing restoration work. And I have an apartment, and a roommate named Macavoy, another former priest like me.”

“You sound like you have it all figured out,” she said, her voice high and thin. She swallowed, trying not to be caught up in her emotions.

“Not at all,” Gold said with a laugh. “I’m quite out of my depth here, Belle. But I knew I couldn’t stay in Storybrooke without you. I knew I could never be fully committed to the church and my community when my heart was longing to be here, with the two of you.”

Belle returned to the kitchen table, handing Gold a cup of tea which he accepted gratefully.

“The two of us?” she repeated, not able to meet his eyes.

“You and Gideon,” he said with a little shake of his head. “My family.”

“So it’s…” she trailed off, not daring to finish her question. That he hadn’t done all this just for Gideon. If he had, it would be enough. The fact that he loved their son enough to abandon everything he’d ever known only made her love him all the more.

“When did you leave?” she asked instead. “Storybrooke, I mean.”

“Well, I requested laicization the day after Christmas,” he said, taking a little sip of his tea.

Belle shook her head again.

“The last time we spoke,” she began. “On Christmas Eve, you seemed so conflicted.”

He placed his teacup down on the kitchen table before rounding it to stand directly before her. Belle couldn’t help but meet his eyes now, honey brown in the morning light streaming through her windows.

“I was,” he agreed. “It’s a terrifying thing to give up the only life you’ve ever known.”

Belle sighed, stepping back from him.

“I never wanted you to have to choose,” she said, crossing her arms against her chest. She hadn’t meant to give him an ultimatum. She just wanted to tell him where she was going.

“It’s not a choice,” he said, cupping her face with his hands, forcing her eyes back to his. “Belle, I love you. Nothing beyond that really seemed to matter.”

A little sob managed to escape Belle’s throat and Gold pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face in his checkered shirt, clinging to him.

He loved her. He was here in Boston for her. It was as though she’d been repressing her emotions for too long and the months of sadness could finally be expressed.

“I love you too,” she managed to get out between ragged gasps. “I love you so much I can’t breathe. I left Storybrooke because it was too painful being so near to you and yet so far.”

“It was agony for me too,” Gold said, placing kisses against the top of her head, his hand rubbing over her back. “I kept expecting you to find someone else, to fall in love. I could have lived with that, if you were happy. But you never seemed happy.”

“How could I move on from you?” she asked, looking up at him with her tear streaked face. “Even if it was a sin.”

Gold shook his head, his hand coming up to wipe away her tears.

“Loving you could never be a sin, but abandoning you, never knowing my own child, living a lie? That’s the real sin.”

He glanced longingly at Gideon, still playing on the living room rug.

“And it’s not exactly uncommon. The main reason priests request to leave the priesthood is because they fall in love, so they can marry.”

Belle’s eyes widened and Gold quickly released her, throwing his hands up. “Not that I’m asking you to marry me,” he said with a quick shake of his head. “But I would like to ask you on a date, if you’re free. I’ve never had a Valentine before.”

“You’ve made a good start of it,” she said, “with the flowers.”

“Is that a yes then?” he said, a shy smile crossing his handsome face. She wanted to kiss him so badly it hurt.

“Well, dating is a little more complicated these days,” she said with a glance at Gideon.

“We don’t have to go anywhere,” he said with a quick shake of his head. “We can stay here and order pizza. Anything you want. I just want to spend time with you, with both of you.”

“Okay,” Belle agreed, a smile finally working its way across her face. “Then it’s a date.”

A matching smile crossed Gold’s face, a true one the likes of which she’d never seen on him.

He tipped her face up with his forefinger, placing a gentle lingering kiss to her lips. Belle gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck and deepening the kiss. She could kiss him now, here, or on the street, in view of God and everyone. There were no rules being broken, no reason to hide in shame. He was just Mr. Gold, father to no one but Gideon.

She smiled as she kissed him, her heart so full she thought it might burst. Perhaps this wouldn’t be such a terrible Valentine’s Day after all.

They finally broke apart, gasping for breath, their foreheads pressed together. Belle smoothed her hands down Gold’s chest.

“I like the new shirt,” she said with a little giggle. “Very handsome.”

“Thank you very much,” he said, a little sarcastically. “I’ll admit I haven’t had to shop for clothing in some time. My wardrobe could probably use a woman’s touch.”

“Then I’ll have to take you shopping,” she agreed.

“Oh, speaking of, I brought Gideon a gift,” he said, grabbing the gift box off the kitchen table. “It’s a blanket. I knitted it myself. It’s nothing special, I just…”

Belle cut him off with another brief kiss, her hand trailing through the hair at his nape.

“Do you want to meet your son?” she asked when they pulled apart.

“More than anything,” he agreed.

She entwined her fingers with Gold’s pulling him with her to the living room. Then she scooped Gideon up, handing him carefully over to Gold. He handled the baby expertly, cradling him against his chest. Gideon looked up at his father with inquisitive dark eyes.

“This is your Papa, Gideon,” Belle said, tears springing to her eyes as she said the words. “And you’re going to be seeing a lot more of him now.”

“I’m your Papa,” Gold repeated. “And I’m here to stay.”

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #raven's fic #fic: brimstone and mistletoe #fluffapalooza 2023 #just three months late

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thecruellestmonth · 1 year

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Honestly really curious about the “Jason feel triggered by Dick’s kindness thing” if you feel like elaborating?

Every betrayal begins with trust. Jason Todd trusts Dick Grayson, and so Dick is a glowing, ticking timebomb.

-The Past-

Dick and Jason have history, not all of it good. Not all of it bad.

Nightwing: Year One

Batman #416 // The New Teen Titans (1984) #31

Skipping the early years all the way to the Red Hood era, Dick is someone who pretty consistently tries to give Jason a chance. Dick keeps up his guard and doesn't trust blindly, but he also tries to listen to Jason, reach out to him, and even work together when possible. Although Jason is an enemy, although it'd be much easier to believe the worst, Dick still generally chooses to keep his heart and mind open.

Outsiders #44-46 (2007), written by Judd Winick. When Jason obtains information that could free an innocent man from prison, he chooses to turn to Nightwing for help. In turn, Dick also chooses to believe in Jason.

Nightwing 2021 Annual, written by Tom Taylor. Despite (falsified) video evidence of Red Hood committing a murder, Dick doesn't jump to assume the worst in Jason. Dick chooses to trust and verify.

As Red Hood, Jason doesn't really like to ask favors or depend on others. Yet Nightwing tends to show up and help him anyway.

Now if Jason were healthy, then Dick's kindness would be comforting and reassuring. But in Jason's experiences, the most crushing pain comes from the people he's supposed to trust the most.

Catherine Todd, Willis Todd, police officers, social workers, a schoolteacher, Sheila Haywood, Bruce Wayne. Those people were supposed to protect Jason—those people ended up hurting him. After these experiences, Jason has become fixated on anticipating others' behavior (look up "fortune telling" as a cognitive distortion). Dick has become the latest source of safety. And so Dick's kindness is a trigger, as Jason anticipates more betrayal and pain.

-Dreams-

Jason's dreams have implied two things about his inner feelings:

1) Jason trusts Dick in ways that he no longer allows himself to trust Bruce—in his dreams, Dick is the first one who shows up for him when he's scared. Dick is the one who anticipates Jason's questions without being asked, and notices the fears that Jason tries to suppress.

2) Jason fears Dick is going to betray him, reject him, humiliate him. Because Dick is in a position where he can hurt Jason, then past experience says he inevitably will hurt Jason.

Examples:

Nightwing #121 (written by Bruce Jones, AKA the infamous tentacle monster arc) - Jason has been ingested by a mutating alien tentacle monster (long story). He dreams that Dick is in the darkness with him—but Dick mocks Jason for hoping that Dick would care to rescue him.

Truth & Justice #11 (written by Trammell) - When Jason has a fear toxin-induced nightmare of being buried alive again, Dick is the one who appears at his graveside and offers him help. However, the nightmare Dick then proceeds to ridicule Jason and attack his worth.

Task Force Z #7 (written by Rosenberg) - Jason has a nightmare of being surrounded by enemies attacking him. The nightmare culminates in the scariest part when Nightwing and Batgirl (Babs)—his older sibling figures—make him feel like a little Robin again, and tell him that all his efforts are just making everything worse.

DC vs. Vampires #6 (2022), a vampire apocalypse Elseworld written by Tynion & Rosenberg

Now Elseworlds (alternate universe) comics aren't canon to the main universe, but can still offer possible insight into characterization… In DC vs Vampires #6, Jason tells Dick (who has revealed himself as an evil vampire): "I always knew someday you'd screw up worse than anyone." Yet up until the moment when Dick reveals himself as an evil vampire, Jason never has a rational reason to anticipate that. So either Jason is just now lying to cover up his own shame for having misplaced his trust yet again, or Jason really has been harboring fears that Dick would betray him.

-The Present-

Circling back to recent happenings in the main universe: Task Force Z #8 (2022). Jason is behaving very suspiciously on a solo mission. Dick wants to know why—whether the greater good is at stake, or whether Jason is in trouble and needs help. And so Dick asks Jason to have a reasonable conversation... to which Jason responds by punching him and running away. Just the slightest suggestion of misgivings on Dick's part, and Jason chooses fight and flight. Another turn of the cycle, and Jason leaves the family circle again as quickly as he rejoined.

Task Force Z #8 (2022), written by Rosenberg

So Jason does cherish his brotherhood with Dick… but Jason is also watchful for the tiniest possible warning signs that Dick could hurt him, so he can cut off that bond before it can be used against him.

Dick Grayson is irresistibly trustworthy. Jason can't stop himself from trusting Dick. That's exactly why he can't trust Dick.

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