.

BESTIE. I was just casually thinking about your whole dybmn series and now I’m wondering, as both reader and Spencer become more confident with their spicy dynamics, what kind of lover would Spencer become with her? New k!nks, maybe?, I JUST genuinely think that Spencer is so whipped for her that he would definitely use toys and anything else, not only to experiment but to get to know and find out about all of her secret facets.

I believe she would be his “creation” like he would be so proud to see her development in her confidence in spicy times like smirking all over as she does anything to please him and he’d be like “yeah, I created that” because I’M BITING MY PILLOW RIGHT NOW and gonna dig up a hole after this to hide myself because my thoughts are so hideous. Girlie, what did you do to me? I wasn’t like this. 😩

oh let’s discuss

18+ long ass rambling and things i think about A Lot ……..

in my opinion (which is not the end all be all everyone can perceive them however they’d like) reader and spencer definitely bring out more sexually adventurous sides of each other like they just have a shit ton of chemistry and for a while ithink spencer would just be easing reader into sexuality so nothing that crazy would happen aside from the power dynamics we see pretty much from the start. i think those would definitely get stronger and occasionally more variable. im not usually into sub!spence but i think there would be times he would definitely allow reader to have more control (i don’t ever think he’d be like calling them mommy lmfao) but aside from that i could also see him veering VERY rarely in a slightly harder!dom direction. like he’ll never hurt or seriously degrade you but in p3 reader says something about liking it when he acts like they belong to him and he was really into that. as the relationship progresses i think he would almost start taking more ownership of r’s body in a way, like obviously nothing is ever nonconsensual but he just knows you so well that it’s like… well he knows you better than you know yourself sooo you let him call the shots, but at his core i think spencer is forever oriented to please. he just wants to make you feel good, that’s always gonna be his goal, so he’s always going to listen and even if the power dynamic is weighed in his favor you are actually always the one in control bc he’d do anything for u lol

in terms of kinks…. idk, i never really see spencer as a super kinky guy? like he just knows too much about paraphilia and obviously sexual violence ties into a lot of his job so i sincerely doubt he’d find giving or receiving pain arousing beyond like slapping your ass or you scratching his back or whatever. love is always at the heart of sex for him and that’s going to be the most important part, he’ll never be able to see you just as a body. he’ll always see you as the person he’s in love with and there are things he’s simply not willing to do to the person he loves.

because of his trauma he’s super duper hesitant about bondage BUT i think he wouldn’t be completely opposed to very light restraints on you or him, he’d just have to be in a specific mood. i also never see him as being someone who’s super into toys because he’s such a luddite, he can barely stand having an email i doubt he’s going to have an extensive collection of sex toys. but he would so use your vibrator on you or make you use it on yourself in front of him again if he’s in a very specific mood

oh but YES he DELIGHTS in having defiled and corrupted you. idc idc im not accepting criticism on this. like he spoils you so much that you’re used to getting him whenever you want and so you’re not very subtle about it. if you get all needy in public and start draping yourself all over him and giving him looks and pulling on his sleeve because you want to go home he’ll fuck you in rossi’s bathroom because he wants to encourage your lewd behavior.

obviously he has boundaries tho and he has respect for you and the people around him like he won’t do anything that draws attention and he’ll only ever do things he knows he can get away with without anyone else noticing

later seasons spence also LOVES when you leave marks on him he thinks it’s cute how you mark your territory and he’s not at all embarrassed if there is a hickey above his collar at work. in his mind it’s like. why would he care about other peoples opinions on his sex life when they have nothing to do with it god i think about this all the time

anyway im sorry if this was disappointing😭 idkidk, thank you for asking about my thoughts tho bc i am always down for headcanons

ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals

to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was

whether or not i would fight the following eah students

im drunk and found this in my notes from 2021. 😭 I NO LONGER STAND BY SOME OF THESE OPINIONS. but most i do. a semantic sequel to this post

Raven Queen: no. hasn't she already been through enough? also i'd definitely lose

Apple White: yes. god yes. it would be so funny

Briar Beauty: maybe while drunk, but something tells me it would be a very bad idea

Ashlynn Ella: no. god, how depressing would that be? though maybe she'd have a chance if she went at me with a stiletto

Hunter Huntsman: yes, because it would be funny to see how he would try to avoid killing me instantly

Cedar Wood: no. what's the point? it's like trying to kick the shit out of a really polite coffee table

Cerise Hood: MAYBE IF I WAS FEELING REALLY MEAN. it would be funny in a similar manner to hunter, but with the added tension of me constantly going for the hood. i know ur shit cerise. don't play w me

Blondie Lockes: i consider fighting blondie lockes one of my primary life goals. i will curbstomp that bitch in the middle of her own livestream

Sparrow Hood: 100%, mostly for public spectacle. idk if i would win but I'm sure we'd have a wonderful time. unless he has his guitar on him because he would defo play dirty and just start swinging it like a mace

Duchess Swan: no thank you. ballerinas are strong and duchess stores anger like nutrition for the winter. she would break my neck

Darling Charming: i don't think so. depending where she is on public knowledge of her secret she'd either purposefully lose or just wipe the floor with me. awkward all round

Dexter Charming: maybe, because i think if he gave it a proper go he'd win and i feel like that would be good for his self esteem

Daring Charming: yes, because i know i'd win if i straight away went for his face. bust his lip open. it would humble him

Lizzie Hearts: no ma'am. maybe i'd fare better in hand to hand combat but i can't imagine she'd keep any less than four knives on her person and lizzie is not the type to hold back. im heading straight to hospital

Kitty Cheshire: no. it would be humiliating. i can't see how i'd even get a hit in

Maddie Hatter: absolutely not. i have no qualms with her whatsoever, also she'd definitely kill me by accident

Alistair Wonderland: sure, why not. i want to see what all that time in apocalyptic wonderland has taught him, and whether it cancels out his status as a fucking nerd

Bunny Blanc: no, because i don't want to go to jail for homicide. she is a 5 foot nothing rabbit who can barely stand up by herself. she'd die if i poked her with a toothpick

Chase Redford: NO. if he didn't want to fight he'd just silently let me hit him for like an hour, and if he was About It then he'd instantly fucking annihilate me. just leave the boy alone

Courtly Jester: I KNOW I'D LOSE BUT IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING. I HAVE TO FIGHT HER. i might even have a chance if she wasn't allowed to pirate any dark magic

Humphrey Dumpty: i feel cruel for even thinking about this. he's a skinny gamer with a physical predisposition for getting hit. it would be like shooting fish in the most depressing barrel

Hopper Croakington II: NO. HE IS MY FUCKING BOY AND I'LL PROTECT HIM WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE. also i could just flirt and then stamp on the frog

Faybelle Thorn: yeah sure. this may sound egotistical but i'm pretty sure i could win if magic wasn't involved

Crystal Winter: yes. the bitch would trip over her own shoelaces and knock herself out

you wont answer me cuz you know im right. i loved szobo in the early days but his drop off was huge and now he is just another hospital merchant. for all the hype of him being the next kdb he cant even score a solo goal and im yet to see a good pass from him in the final third

Well hello anon.

I didn't answer you, because

1. The last couple of days my head was moving in between the Moon and Mars, and I'm not sure if I would have been able to remain respectful.

2. I'm getting tired of all these anons coming to my infobox and, for the lack of a better expression, trying to take the piss out of me. If you read my posts you know that he's one of my favourite players, and that I'm not mindless hater about any of our players, but especially not towards him.

3. You were being very condescending and annoying.

But buckle up my dear salty anon.

Dominik, naturally, is an offensive minded midfielder. At Leipzig, he basically played as a wide 10 (or occasional RW) and for the most part he does the same for Hungary. In both teams he was a pressing monster, his pressing is arguably one of the best in the current Liverpool squad as well. The difference is, that in both teams he had other midfielders behind him. He still had defensive duties, but not this current caliber. In Hungary he plays one of the hardest and most taxing roles: he drops deep to collect the ball, helps the build up from deep, and he contributes a LOT in defense, but he also has freedom to roam around the pitch, and enjoys the other midfielders support when he appears in the final third.

In Liverpool, he is a box-to-box midfielder. A different role, and not just a different role in midfield, but he is a midfielder under Klopp, played in the RHS in a triangle with Salah and Trent. Salah is our main goalscorer, Trent is our main creator. His job is to provide a stable link up between the two, allowing them to express themselves freely, offer his support, keep the width when needed, etc etc. Without him doing this, that rhs can't function properly. And this is just one of his many responsibilities. When Trent inverts into midfield he drops back into either help out (Ibou), or takes up completely the RB position. A position he has never played, by the way. He's constantly pressing, constantly running, constantly covering/contributing in defensive duties. He is the 5th fastest player this season. Other than his pressing, his other great quality is his off-ball work. Again, arguably, his awareness and intelligence when it comes to that is one of the best in the current squad. I encourage you to watch back some of our recent matches and take notice of him instead of the one giving the assist/scoring, many cases, without his efforts it wouldn't get to the point of it being a goal scoring opportunity.

I'm not going to argue with you and say that his passing hasn't looked a bit off in certain matches, that he didn't have some bad first touches or unnecessary long shots. He did. But please also think about all these NEW and constant duties, (other than the pressing& off-ball work), doesn't come natural to him at all and how these can affect his performance in the final third. Yes, it's an excuse,but a reasonable one in my opinion, maybe not for you, whatever.

All in all, it's easy to fail when you have been shifted from a role of being supported to being the one who is the constant and many times only support. Mind it, this is happening in a much more physical, much more demanding and stronger league. It's no wonder fatigue and eventually injury caught up to him. Other than Endo (and he only had like 5-6 starters in the PL), all of our starting midfielders struggled with injuries throughout the season, Domi was the last one to go down.

Anyways, this is the last time I did this. I'm so sick and tired, especially now with all the hate towards him, having the same conversation again and again. You think he's a bad, selfish person with a big ego, who insults and makes fun of his teammates etc etc. I'm not here to change your mind. But maybe try at least watching football with your eyes open before you start accusing one of the team's most selfless and most hard-working players, who is literally out injured (and likely very upset and heartbroken about that) because he tried to give his everything for his club, manager, teammates and fans.

DAY 2, TWEEK TWEAK, fluff alphabet

Requested

A -> Affection; how they like to show their love.

tweek shows his love by gifts. if its coffee or handmade drawings which usually turn out as if they were drawn by a two year old, but im sure you still love them. while he freaks out in case you dont like one of his gifts or you're getting sick of them, your smile makes it all worth it

B -> Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

confidence, even if its not about yourself, just you hugging him tightly in public without being ashamed just gives him butterflies, the slightest amount of confidence makes him smile.

C -> Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

little spoon. i dont make the rules, he loves when you spoon him, its just something about you hugging him from behind that makes him smile, he luvs it

D -> Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

home, he doesnt dance much, but if you ever ask him to dance, he'd say yes. so at home isnt his favourite place, just his preferred place, again he doesnt like to dance much

E -> Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

yes, sometimes, he gets excited and nervous at the same time if you guys have a date the day after or if you guys are going to meet the others parents, he gets excited just thinking hes going to see you the next day!

F -> First Date; your first date together.

i feel like it would be a movie date, at your house, watching a horror movie and then cuddling together would be your first date with tweek. eating popcorn while hugging eachother wrapped around in one of tweek's blankets

G -> Goals; i have no idea for G, im sorry

H -> Honesty; how open are they with you?

very! depending of course, if he'll get in trouble for telling you something, he'd get a bit nervous before saying it, but at some point he would tell you, beside that, he tells you everything

I -> I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

you defs say it first, this man needs a lot of reassurance on saying "i love you" in the first few weeks. he thinks that you'll think he's being too rushed or whatever, but after he feels like he can say ily without being judged, he says it quite frequently especially in hello's and goodbye's

J -> Jealousy; do they get jealous?

yep, he doesnt get really mad neither does he get really sad, just insecure about himself, but a little bit of reassurance can make him get all better!!

K -> Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

not much of a kisser, but probably on the lips, he likes giving you little pecks as a goodbye kiss, gets really blushy and just.. butterflies.

L -> Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

gee i wonder

M -> Melody; what’s your song together?

i/me/myself by will wood , you'd introduce him to the song and he LOVES it! so now one of you guys can just be hearing it and go "hey thats our song"

N -> Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

not much, probably basic nicknames though or just a version of your name. usually just calls you by your name though

O -> Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

depends on what. he talks about his feelings and emotions so if its about that he's pretty open, has his flaws here and there but you know. if its about something personal that happened like a traumatic event, he'd take a longer time to open up about it.

P -> PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

holding hands and thats all he can do, key word: he. he allows you to give him kisses or hugs but he wont start them, too much pressure, pun intended

Q -> Quirk: a loveable trait of theirs.

how much he worries over you even if you're safe

R -> Romance; how romantic are they?

in the middle, he isnt too romantic like asking you on dates frequently but neither is he not romantic, to where he doensnt do much.

S -> Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

again, like in O, he keeps secrets depending in the subject. at some point he'll tell you though

T -> Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

not really, the relationship just moves on, it doesnt get boring because, this is south park.. nothing gets boring. but you and his relationship is full of love and you both believe it'll stay like that

U -> Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

not the best comforter, but does try to stay calm himself when comforting others and especially you!! lots of hugs and affection

V -> Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

he doesnt get mad over small things, (he does im in denial) but if he ever does he takes it out on other things like boxing, while maybe he could yell at you for things, ofc w a well done apology later, he wont insult you or take it too far. probs just "WHY DID YOU DO THAT??" and pulls his hair out twitching

W -> Weakness; what’s their weakness when it comes to you?

"tweek, calm down, i'm here for you, alright?" basically, comforting.

X -> Xtra; random hc about them.

hes a pain to sleep with (not in that way you sick perverts), he either hogs the blanket or kicks you, its a win for heavy sleepers

Y -> Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

i dont ger this???, he images marriage then kids what else i dont think he creates fake scenarios to arms tonite by mother mother imagining him in the afterlife while you're crying over him and you and his 2year old kid repeating "wheres papa" while he tries to escape the after life and after that the song ends and francis forever plays and hes saying "i dont know what to do without you"

what im basically saying he creates fake scenarios of future hypothetical events that might happen but he wants to marry you basically

what kind of self insert is this

Z -> Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

like i said in X, hes a blanket hog and kicks in his sleep, you have to put him down for him to stay still

I love reading your analysis of Nagireo!

One thing I was wondering, what do you think of Nagi (foreshadowed) future slump?

I feel like things will get dire for him, and I can't help but wonder how Reo would react.

Nagi feels very... emotionally immature and while Reo can be very fiery and we saw how emotional he can get, he's the one that feels more in touch with his own emotions and has better life experience.

For better or worse, being away from Reo forced Nagi to confront his own feelings more.

I wonder if Reo won't realize they got back together too early and leave him (this time maybe more amicably? Or maybe force himself to leave him) for his own sake.

Ego's dialog feels very ominous... they were very happy in that moment but there is a very sense of "now what?".

thank u so much, i feel like i never express myself well enough esp with characters and relationships im passionate abt so that means a lot 🥺

yeah i get what u mean about nagi's emotional immaturity...in the latest match, when isagi asked him how he was able to make his best play yet a reality, nagi  didnt really understand what had happened. he only wanted to beat isagi, that has been his first goal, the first step to achieve the bigger dream he shares with reo. 

and while he himself couldnt see that, reo was the first to notice despite everything that happened between them, so he created a chance for him to have a 1v1 with isagi. 

the problem is that, as isagi points out later, if u dont understand how u made something happen, you probably wont be able to be consistent and replicate it (this has been a recurring theme of blk since the start of the manga):

a goal that u only made happen because u had the person who knows u the best and is your closest friend give you exactly what you need in the moment, has little value in the grand scheme of things. Without a clear goal and reo’s help, nagi wouldnt have been able to do something like that. 

So the next step he should be taking is working on his weapons, instead of relying on the perfect opportunities reo can provide him with.

maybe its time for nagi to try and catch up to reo, and not only in terms of play-making 

but also in terms of self awareness 

i also love the fact that while reo can seem completely selfless when he declares this, he is also completely selfish, cause at the end of the day hes doing this for his dream, for himself. he loves playing with nagi and making him score goals, but his hard work which got him to where he is now doesnt rely on nagi being there, he hasnt abandoned himself in favor of nagi. 

BUT he still seems to always choose nagi over anyone when they are playing together and even though my shipping heart is tempted, i think thats not a good thing at all... cause their cooperation may be top class, but it also makes them predictable after a while. 

reo has learnt to play without nagi, but he needs to learn how play with nagi without forgetting everyone else on his team. 

so the way i see it, reo has made more significant progress than nagi, but he still needs to work on seeing the bigger picture when nagi is by his side.

nagi on the other hand has even more things he needs to work on. he shouldnt feel reassured bc of that one (miracle) goal or bc he managed to beat isagi once. if he ended up satisfied with just that, then he wouldnt belong in the world of professional players

Ego is right when he said that confidence and delusion are 2 different things. Nagi needs the power that will enable him to fight alone in any situation and to obtain that power, he has to confront his feelings, his weapons and his shortcomings. and that demands soul searching, practice and a lot of thinking, all things i bet nagi thinks are a pain pftt.

but i want to be optimistic and think of this as another challenge he (actually, both of them) will have to conquer. im very conflicted though, cause the way i see it, what reo needs to work on now requires them to be on the same team, while what nagi needs to work on requires alone time.

in conclusion, things may have worked out between them in terms of understanding each other, but im hoping they start understanding themselves more; acknowledging their weaknesses and taking the necessary measures to overcome them. 

i do think that reo the way he is now is more likely to realise what needs to be done than nagi, whose issues are the most urgent in my opinion. so i can def see them going their separate ways for a while again, whether its reo making that decision, or nagi, or both of them together (with the latter being the ideal for me).

AHHHHHHH! ITS FINALLY HERE!! I was checking ur account everyday to see if chap 6 was up, but then when it was finally out I was busy with my duty. I had to read it bit by bit and reread it better after my shift 😭 Im sorry in advance because this is long.. hehe

I was happy? that finally beomgyu (suffered jk) shows affection to oc, may it be just for possessiveness or he actually likes her because for the past few chapters he has been really confusing 😡 Beomgyu was an asshole from the previous chapters that it made me root for yeonjun, but this chapter made me see a new perspective to him. (baby im sorry pls take me back hahahahaha)

Anyways, i was really waiting for oc and yeonjun's smut (basically begging for it). The scene was so good 😭 At first i was like omg it was so hotttttttt and detailed he really gave oc's first time a justice, he was very considerate and always makes sure that oc feels good. But then I got sad at the part where after the sex, oc immediately felt insecure and the first thing she asked was if yeonjun enjoyed it. Idk if others would agree but i feel like the smut scene practically describes what a first time really feels like? And how bad it is to do just because u want to forget someone.

If your goal was to confuse us on what gyu is really feeling towards oc, you are really good at it hahahah. Whoever oc is going to end up i know it'll hurt so bad 😭 But lets just be real here, either yeonjun and beomgyu deserves oc, and oc deserves love coming from either of them.

One last thing, it's nice that oc character was given more depth? for this chapter. it made her personality and relationship with beomgyu more reasonable.

I feel like i can predict the ending but ur so unpredictable so i will not assume things ahahhahahaha thanks for this wonderful series author 🫶

Haha yeah people really wanted to see gyu suffer because they felt hurt by him and now that he's suffering it's like 🥺🥺🥺 baby don't cry 🥺🥺🥺

I think you’re the only one who liked the smut scene but I'm glad to hear it because it was difficult for me to write 😂 i don't think it necessarily describes first times but more like one version of first times, especially when you're with someone you don't feel completely comfortable with. Oc still doesn't really feel secure with yeonjun despite how sweet he is. She worries what he thinks of her and if he compares her with others etc

Aww that's a nice sentiment. A lot of readers express how this character or that character don't deserve happiness but you think they all deserve love and I agree. Though gyu and oc can be assholes, they're very hurt and they are good people at heart and deserve happiness.

Ohhhh I'd love to hear predictions! I love knowing if people can predict the endings. Some people really get it right with scary accuracy!

Hi Julie!

Im sorry if this is too invasive (no need to respond if it is), but what are your thoughts about being able to make a living as an independent artist? I’m trying to switch personally from an unfulfilling life path and I do not have people in my life that are supportive of the direction I want to go (artist). I don’t necessarily make the same kind of art as you, but I was just curious if you have advice because your work is very professional and you seem to be doing art full time successfully! We’re there certain goals you tried to meet to be able to produce art at a specific rate, what experiences did u have selling on Etsy/making prints/stickers, etc? Any words of wisdom or insights would be appreciated 🙏🏻 thank you, and have a wonderful day! ✨

Hi! and that a big question!

First and foremost, I want to make a bit clearer my personal situation before answering.

You see I actually have a full time job atm as a BG Designer/Senior Layout artist at an animation studio. So sadly I can't fully speak on being an independent artist myself. (Even if its something I dream about as well.)

I started convention (back in the before times) and then recently Etsy as a way to test out the waters if I could make the switch. and while I wouldnt be able to fully support my family without my full time job, I am not gonna lie that this extra money has been helping us A LOT when I would fall in between animation contract or when some personal family stuff happened.

I still think there is value in being artist and pursuing it. I know many artist who DID DO IT and are still doing it! And I am sorry your family is not supporting you in this. (I dont know the situation but for me at first I remember my dad being mostly worried about me being able to pay my bills if I went in a more art focused career. so hopefully some of their critique, while hurtful, comes from worry.)

I think a good starting point would probably to start on with an Etsy and selling little things like stickers or postcards and see how it goes while continuing a full time job to be safe. When I first started I would only order about 20 postcards and not more than 25 or 50 stickers. Then as you settled and get your foot in, you can always do more!

Long story short, I think its a switch better done slowly and that require you to diversify the type of things you offer, from etsy shops to commission as you settle into this freelance life.

Its a hard one that I havent fully reached myself either, but knowing how some artists are able to, maybe you will too!

Imagine Aki randomly finding things Himeno left behind at his place while cleaning or doing laundry. A tank top in his laundry. Her book she never finished reading. Her lighter she kept misplacing. Her shampoo he always loved the smell of. He keeps all of these things in a shoebox and he wishes he could find a photo of her. He's so scared of forgetting her face, even though he knows that can't possibly happen. Haha. I'm fine.

i was gonna answer these in chronological order since I've fallen off the face of the earth but i got this ask yesterday and i haven't stopped thinking about it......

criminal line of thinking. right up my alley.

i reposted fujimoto talking about her the other day which this post is a reference to and amidst all the love and respect his words about himeno conveyed, that line stuck with me.

it's so real of him to say that himeno leaves things of hers in aki's apartment. the follow up about her leaving little parts of herself in ppl's lives? not ready to talk about that yet, it's such a himeno thing and if sb doesn't say this about me after im dead i might as well not have lived /hj

anyways back to this. time to talk about grief again. oof. aki is such the type to be so quiet about it. he'd have such a personal grieving process.

him doing his errants at the crack of dawn and finding himeno's tank top in his laundry, briefly wondering if it belongs to power but knowing better. the way he'd stay very still for a moment, gripping the soft fabric a little too hard, knowing he washed every last bit of himeno off of it already. all but his memory of her wearing it, gone.

he'd definitely keep the things in a shoe box in a secluded place in his room. mostly to keep them safe from denji and power. somewhere inside also knowing that not seeing them around all the time will eventually help him heal. if he even has enough time left for that.

i imagine even after safely collecting everything and tucking it away, he'd still be reminded of her often. power sitting crosslegged on the balcony's chair just like himeno used to do. denji crouching in front of the fridge to inspect its contents, elbows on his knees.

every time, aki would lose his train of thought, stay still, stare for a moment, then seemingly snap out of it.

he does worry about forgetting her. not just her face. her voice, the way she would sing-song every sentence when she was tipsy, her easy smile, the blush on her cheeks. her touch, her casual affection, her long, knowing looks.

even the small things. the way she would hold a cigarette and refuse to dab the ash off until it was basically hanging off of it and threatening to burn any piece of clothing or paperwork around to cinders. her satisfied sigh after the first sip of cold beer.

the way she'd let her guard down around him sometimes, when they would sit in silence for a long time, her face muscles relaxing and her gaze getting more vacant. it'd remind aki of the himeno he met at the cemetery. selfish and honest and lonely. it never failed to bring tears to aki's eyes. he was always quick to cry.

it gets worse the more time goes by. he thinks about her less. his own life a slippery thing in his hands and his goals staying unachieved and unachievable.

it feels like even more of a betrayal when he asks to be off the gun devil mission. knowing he'd go private without a second thought now if it meant securing a normal, safe life for power and denji. knowing he could've had this with himeno if he'd only said yes back then. he'd be spared so much loss. he'd be spared from loving more people who were just as disposable and temporary as him.

yet he can't bring himself to regret any of it.

the shoe box collects dust in his room and aki keeps his fingers loose around his feeble, unimportant life and his heart open till the end.

hello! I just your profile and I was wondering if I could ask for a protective light x reader. A jealous Misa on the side. Please

🥑| im so sorry this took so long omfg bro, i promise i didn't forget abt u<\33 here's ur request, iluu<3 i wrote this when I was very tired so im sorry if it isn't my best💔

You and the task force were on your way to a major breakthrough in the Kira case. Finally, the list of suspects had been narrowed down to one company: Yotsuba. And as even Yotsuba employees and heads began to die, that list was still being cut down. Now one of the prime Kira suspects was Kyosuke Higuchi, one of the heads of Yotsuba and an arrogant and senseless man who wouldn't be difficult to draw information out of with the right tool.

The right tool meaning the right person. The right woman.

After some slightly uncomfortable deliberation, L had decided to send you into the field to make contact with Higuchi directly- to basically seduce him into giving you the information you needed. It wasn't a decision he necessarily liked; he saw it as a little reckless, but with the scent of victory so strong in the air, it was a time to be reckless.

You had no issue with this, actually. You were thrilled to be of service, but you also felt very driven to catch Kira- you hadn't shared this with anybody else on the task force, but one of the criminals the murderer had taken down had been your father, who had been incarcerated for killing a man and his wife. However, your father had killed the couple due to the fact that they were responsible for an office explosion a decade or so back that had murdered your mother. You felt strongly that your father had had good reason to do what he did, and you were eager to see his suspected killer in person.

"Y/N, are you ready? Higuchi will be leaving the Yotsuba quarters shortly, and you will need to be outside when he comes out," L reminded you, spinning in his swivel chair to face you in his usual frog-like position.

"I think so," you murmured distractedly, tying your fitted top a little more tightly around your body. You knew Higuchi wasn't much of a gentleman, so your goal was to show as much of your body as possible without giving him too much.

L's expression turned questioning, and he cocked his head at you in skepticism. "Are you sure? We can't interfere once you meet with Higuchi, and we all know he isn't very polite."

You knew what L was implying- but you weren't worried. As a matter of fact, that was just what you were aiming for.

"I'll be fine, Ryuzaki. Anyway, like you said, I'd better get go-"

"But why nooooooooot??"

You were interrupted mid-sentence by a high-pitched, drawn-out whine that unmistakably came from the airheaded Misa Amane. With a slight sigh, you turned your head to see the blonde hanging on to Light Yagami's arm for dear life, trying to pull the man back. Light's visage was stony as he shuffled into the room, weighed down by Misa.

"Misa- I'm- busy," Light snapped, yanking his arm with each word. "We can go on a date some other time."

"You say that every day," Misa groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically. "And we still haven't done anything!"

Light only let out a long, exasperated sigh, giving up on trying to tear the blonde away from him. You arched a brow in amusement at the scene before preparing to walk out the door.

That was when Light caught sight of you- your midriff exposed and shirt tight around your chest along with the miniskirt you'd also thrown on. His eyes ran up and down your body, the color in his eyes dull as he made eye contact with you directly.

Feeling a slight shiver go up your spine, you started to walk away. "Alright, I'm off. Just to double-check, you all will be monitoring the interaction, right?"

L nodded. "Yes, Wendy bugged and put cameras in Higuchi's car a little while ago. All of our surveillance is already in place."

You nodded back at the detective just before you were about to step out- but before you got both feet out the doorway, you heard the surprisingly authoritative voice of Light Yagami from behind you.

"You can't go out like that."

"Huh?" You were so caught off guard that you stopped in your tracks and took a few steps back. "What do you mean?"

"The outfit. Higuchi. This isn't a good idea."

"Whaaaat? Light, I don't see that big a problem," Misa pressed, clutching his arm harder as she turned her attention to you, a nasty look on her face. "I mean, I wear stuff like that all the time around weird guys, and you don't say anything."

"Light, is there a problem?" L queried, looking from you to him, seeming a bit confused.

"I hate to make this an issue, Ryuzaki, but... I'm not sure how comfortable I am with the idea of Y/N being around Higuchi in the way that she plans to. Maybe we should rethink this." Light's tone was flat, but he seemed entirely serious as you stared at him, appalled.

"What? Light, Higuchi's meeting ends in ten minutes. I don't have time for-"

"No." Light cut you off with a sharp glare, and the intensity of it made you instantly stop talking. "You don't need to be seducing Higuchi- you're a respectable person and I admire your commitment to this case."

"I'm an adult, Yagami-"

"Yeah, Y/N's a grown-up! She can totally handle herself," Misa insisted, standing up on her tiptoes to try and meet Light's gaze. "I'm the one who needs protection. I'm your girlfriend, anyway, and what if I'm in danger cause you're on the task force?And I'm a celebrity, so that makes me way more of a target than her."

However, Light just moved his head away from her face, not responding to anything the girl said. Misa dropped back down on her feet and folded her arms petulantly, sticking out her lower lip in a childish pout.

"We'll send Misa instead," Light decided, stare still firmly fixed on you; you were forced to drop your eyes, completely stunned. Why was Light, such a normally stony and methodic character, suddenly... protective over you? And he was willing to send his girlfriend in your place?

"Light, if you want to do this now, the clock is ticking," L chided, not seeming to care too much about the situation unfolding.

"Yeah. Misa, I want you to take Y/N's place, alright?" Light finally turned to face the still stewing Amane.

Now you snapped out of your trance, jaw tightening. "Light, what the hell is the problem? I'm very capable of handling Higuchi by myself," you insisted defiantly.

Before Light could reply, Misa jumped all over your comment. "See? See? Let her go, who cares?"

"Me."

"But, Light-"

"Misa."

Light's visage had turned stony in an instant, his eyes unrelenting, and Misa's eyes widened. "Fine. Anything for you, Light." She finally released the arm of Light, who rubbed the sore limb irritably. Misa bounced over to you and stopped before turning around and throwing her arms in the air. "This means I'm stronger than Y/N, then, huh? She needs protection and I can go complete the mission!" Misa stuck her tongue out at you obnoxiously, which you hardly noticed.

"Yes, yes, but go now. We're already behind, Amane," L pressed, gesturing vaguely towards the exit. Misa waved one last time at Light before skipping gaily out the door.

With her gone, you and Light made direct eye contact- your stare demanding while Light's plainly said he didn't care to answer your questions. Idly, Light turned around, and went back upstairs without acknowledging you further.

You stared after him in shock while L watched you look after Light, seeming observant.

"That was rather unusual for Light, wasn't it?"

You sighed, exasperated. "Yeah."

i have a friend who is also overweight and after listening to dream's losing weight journey in the truth video, they expressed of how his story motivated them back to change their body and really wanna know his secret (they are not dream fan and very netrual with him). and today after i explain to them more about dream recent tweet, they told me that they're shocked of his determination and have exercied more than before. they really needed those stories.

dream is such a wonderful experience and the fact his journey not only to motivate himself and show how a person can change and grow for a better figure, his journey also inspires a lot of person to love, accpet and change themselves more. im just so happy that his losing weight journey is the reason my friend get their motivation back and i will never thank him enough. i hope he forever knows that he creates a lot of intangible chances and miracle wishes to a lot of people - who are not even knowing before - now looking up to him as a goal to archieve. dreamy my dreamy

bulk i absolutely need to know what you think about carlos fitting into the current wtnv arc

‘Carlos looked at the setting sun. “I used to think it was setting at the wrong time,” he said, “but then I realized that time doesn’t work in Night Vale, and that none of the clocks are real. Sometimes things seem so strange, or malevolent, and then you find that, underneath, it was something else altogether. Something pure, and innocent. —

We understand the lights. We understand the lights above the Arby’s. We understand so much.

But the sky behind those lights – mostly void, partially stars? That sky reminds us we don’t understand even more.

Goodnight, Night Vale. Goodnight.”’

— Episode 25, One Year Later

Carlos is someone who knows what the power of knowledge holds. City Council keeps a close eye on him (as mentioned in It Devours), fears him even, for what he could be/ have been— had he not fallen in love with the town and Cecil.

Carlos could have very well been Lubelle— but he fell in love with the town, the people, and Cecil. I’ve spoken before about Carlos’ loneliness, and how Cecil being his friend and having an interest in him and his work really altered the course of his life (as he’s mentioned a few times). Carlos literally fell in love with a walking and talking mystery. He’ll never completely understand Cecil. Discovery is glorious and worthy of celebration— but there is also the thrill of the chase. The mysticism and glory of something you can’t dissect let alone know how. There is a poetic sadness in spending so much time and dedication into figuring something out, only to lose sight of why it was so fascinating in the first place. Demystifying. The itch you get in your brain once there is nothing left for your brain to focus on and work through.

The town still wears meat crowns and creates bloodstone circles but do not know who or why they worship. Why do our interests, our beliefs, ours facts bend and warp with time? Is a fact not just an echo of knowledge until something, or someone, comes along to disrupt it? That’s the way knowledge works. Thats the way beliefs work.

I think Carlos’ role in this arc is to bridge that gap between factual analysis and mystification of the mundane. Carlos is one of the few people in town who understands both sides of this struggle— and i think he is going to be forced to pick a side that explores who he is as a person first, instead of a scientist.

His goals might have been similar to Lubelle’s at first, given that he had no attachments other than his work, and came from the same university— but he always used science to help better a situation in town. The one time he realized he was hurting it with his ‘solution’ in It Devours! he immediately stopped. It was always people focused— whereas Lubelle has already demonstrated she doesn’t much care for what her discoveries might do to the people of the town.

Idk I started rambling — but basically, with the culmination of a science institution, the introduction of a new (?) god, the reemergence of a preexisting religion, the feelings of rightfully opinionated people in town and one man who has experience with all four things…. he’s definitely there bridge some sort of gap. carlos is the town hero after all. ill write more abt it when im less tired— but i have so many thoughts on how human beings dont have as many awe inspiring experiences anymore/ when things are so easily explained you lose the joy and wonder of the thing/ how what is easily known to us now was not 5, 10, 50 years ago etc etc.

and i think carlos learned that very early on

"I know Alan's marriage with Alice is wonderful" man idk, i have no doubt that they love each other but i thought a major thematic piece of aw1 and 2 had everything to do with the fact that he treated her like absolute dogshit sometimes. obviously there's more going on and alan is better than that in the long run, but from alice's perspective especially scratch is such an allegory for an abusive spouse it's not even funny 🤔

I mean Scratch is basically everything bas in Alan but warped and maxed out to a degree that himself he would become

Alan is pretty depressed even in the first game, even if it manifests in his anger, it is still rooted in a very low view of himself. He’s convinced he’s a horrible person, an abusive husband, a failure of a writer

Which we dont actually see — like we see some of their fights, but it is normal in a marriage especially considering this is Alan being in writers block. It doesn’t justify his actions but often times relationships are a thing you have to work at. Its a conscious decision and effort to make it work, and people like Alan being temperamental when it comes to their art isnt a reason to just say that oh hes not fit for marriage hes abusive

Their trip in the first game is an effort on both ends to actually make it work because they love each other but Alan’s block is hard to deal with

Both games Alan’s sole purpose is to save Alice cause he loves her, loves her enough to stop writing and be locked in the Dark Place to keep her safe, we can see it in his flashbacks

And in the second game we can finally see Alice no longer being a damsel in distress but taking action. Like idk if its just me but the last message alone is for me a big confirmation there is so much love between them. She is so soft, so confident in him, in herself. She doesnt mind that he needs time, she knows he will eventually get there. That last video is personal, only for him to see, and its filled with so much love

I wouldn’t begrudge if they got divorced after everything settled down because of the amount of trauma they both experienced, but they love each other. Scratch might be a part of Alan but thats not all there is to him, there is anger and possessiveness in everyone, his just got a paranormal boost and got a mind of its own

We dont see much love in the first game cause narrative wise Alice very much played a role of a damsel in distress. But in the second game??? She is actively participating, her goal is not to get rid of Scratch, its to get Alan back

Like i dont think Scratch is an allegory for an abusive husband its not really a major point in any of it. Im not even sure if the haunting was actually that bad — we only see what Alive shows us, and all of it feels reallt pointed specifically like look here, here, you go. She guides him by the hand to where he needs to go

Fights between couples are normal and we dont really see any abuse happening or Alice wouldnt have been trying to save their marriage. Alan might have been shitty at times because of his obvious struggles, anger and drinking problems but nothing we know of shows actual abuse. Like i dont wanna just go oh he wasnt!! But what we see are arguments that genuenly happen to every couple

One of the big points of the game for me is that Alan is flawed. Hes not what you would typically call a good person, a hero, but he loves his wife, he sacrificed himself for her, he keeps trying to go back to her. The possessiveness and anger of Scratch, even if hes part of Alan, isnt everything he is, because we all have it

The whoel ending and ascension talk is specifically about accepting that there is dark in you. But its not all there is

Like idk the first game does make it a bit ambiguous but the second one is pretty clear in pointing out their love and active effort to make it work, which is honestly more than you can say about a lot of couples

Gabriel May finally finds a healthy coping mechanism - agere hcs

Hurt/comfort, gremlin man gets the love he deserves, GN reader, regressor!reader, sfw, mentions of trauma

MY BEAUTIFUL BABY MAN BABY. I LOVE HIM YOUR HONOR. HE STINKS SO BAD G O D

general hcs:

I cannot stress this enough: in this household we support Gabriel's rights and Gabriel's wrongs

In my opinion he was just a really misunderstood and abused kid, who coped with ppl villainizing him constantly by becoming the monster everyone accused him of being

He internalized his traumatic experiences and now believes he's basically the antichrist and that he's incapable of changing

Also he could've not, yknow, killed a bunch of ppl and terrorized his sister for years, he is totally responsible for being a shitty person dont get me wrong

But at the same time, he was a kid. I feel bad for the fact that becoming this vengeful ghost of a person was the best option in his young mind. No child should ever have to make that choice, no kid should even consider that as a choice

He still is, in some ways, mentally a child. He didn't get to experience the milestones for an adult that Emily did, and from day one he was treated like a thing. His inner child is constantly *screaming* at him, begging for attention, but he got pretty good at pushing his feelings down and ignoring his own needs while in pursuit of his goals

He is very very immature because of all this. Think tantrums, having a terrible sense of object permanence, deeply rooted abandonment issues, etc

Even tho Emily managed to lock in that mind??? prison ??? thing??? he still gets out from time to time and that's how he met you: fucking around town while he could

Im not gonna dwelve in too deep as to how you guys started a relationship (romantic or platonic) but now you're the only person he trusts

He is capable of feeling empathy, just not a lot and not for everyone. With you he feels incredibly sensitive and caring, which is totally foreign to him and kinda makes him feel like he's gone "soft" - so don't make fun of him (or a big a deal out of the whole thing) when he expresses concern, or he will shut you down like he did with his sister

I kinda hc him as using sarcasm/humor to cope, so he'd be cracking some witty jokes here and there whenever he's nervous about doing something

his regression/caregiving style:

He is a flip through and through, though it would take a long time for him to accept his "little" side

He hates being vulnerable, hates not having the upper hand and control over things, so he would downright beat himself up for being "weak" and still having these childlike needs and thoughts

But remember he feels like he's doomed, like he can't help being a "monster"? Being a caregiver would help him immensely with these thoughts because even though he's a piece of shit gremlin, he would never intentionally hurt a child

So by letting yourself regress around him he would learn he can choose his fate. He is not doomed, because he is capable of seeing you in your most vulnerable state and not even consider the idea of taking advantage of that

And that blows his mind off lmao

And for some ~mysterious reason~ he starts to feel a little better, and to do a little better

Needless to say Emily is beyond grateful you're in their lives. Gabriel totally refuses to go to therapy (doctorphobic lol), and their relationship is as bad as it gets, but since you showed up Gabriel hasn't been a prick to her. He is very moody still, but they're not fighting over control of their brain and body anymore. Because of you, they started to be able to tolerate each other's presence and now they try their best to both not fight in front of you and to share their body as best as they can

He lowkey doesn't know how to act around you at first lmao, its kinda of endearing. He wont show but he's gonna be panicking inside and will wonder if the slightest touch or thing he says would hurt you

He cares. A lot, all the time, and since its just the two of you and he feels so strangely safe around you, he'll allow himself to be 100% invested in taking care of you

He's a craftsman, which could maybe make you think he'd spoil you rotten with gifts (which he will) but I feel he also wouldn't want to shut up about how absolutely adorable you look

Wouldn't go too crazy with the nicknames tho, at most would call you kitten/puppy/bunny

I figured moving probably feels pretty painful to him, so he'll deal a lot better with calm/sleepy regressors

But don't get too excited thinking he'd let you do whatever you want: he can and he will put you on one of those kid leashes with the backpack if he has to

I think that, with time, he'd go from a sort of lenient cg to a more strict one- it would help him to give someone rules to follow cus he'd have to take care of himself better to be able to take care of you

The most therapeutic thing to him about all this is to be able to give someone the childhood he didn't get to have: you'll never feel alone, he'll never belittle you or make you feel like there's something inherently wrong with you

On the contrary: he'd make a point on teaching your regressed self to love and accept yourself as best as you can

BIG fan of gentle parenting, got a tiktok account solely to watch those vids and to make mental notes on how to better care for you

Would get pretty jealous and protective over you and your relationship, specially around Emily

If you guys ever go out together and you happen to regress in public he will not let you feel bad about it. You better not take that paci out of your mouth honey, cus there's nothing to be ashamed of here

He isnt super big on parental nicknames, thinks dada/papa is fine but absolutely prefers bubba over those

Isnt super excited about touch at first either. At the begging of your relationship he would outright refuse it, but since discovering his cg headspace he has allowed himself to admit he's absolutely somewhat touch starved

Expect lots of little touches here and there, like brushing hair out of your face/tucking it behind your ear, adjusting your clothes, fixing your eyebrows, etc

Melts when you hug or compliment him. Will never ever let himself admit it tho, but will thank you for doing it

He keeps every drawing/little gifts you give him somewhere Emily wont find it, so he can 1) keep small you all to himself 2) protect his reputation as a stone cold and uncaring guy and 3) gush to himself over how lucky he is to have found you

Remember he's a craftsman? He loves making you big gifts out of literally anything he can get his hands on i.e. has turned one of Emily's old wooden pieces into a bunch of Montessori-inspired toys and plans on doing it again, cus fuck you Emily

Despite being good with big pieces, his fine motor skills are a disaster (thanks for having to use Emily's arms backwards). If you ever let him do your hair he will mess it up (and will get a good laugh out of both of you)

He is a great storyteller and loves playing pretend: will make up bed time stories on the spot

He's got a lot to learn, but if you give him enough love and try to be patient he'll outmatch your energy and will dedicate himself, body and soul, to you

Super caring cg once he finds a safe place to live and thrive in

i love him thats all. hope it wasnt too bad!! im kinda sleepy so apologies if something isn't consistent, I'll proofread this later. see ya, pt. 3 of tommy hewitt as a cg coming soon after this one❤

long and detailed ramblings about rin's character under the cut <3

rin is flatter than almost any other character in naruto- an impressive feat, considering how badly kishimoto hates woman. i'm not saying that everyone else was written better than rin- all things considered, the complete lack of attention focused on her means that she's probably one of the more consistent characters. no, the flatness arises from a general lack of anything interesting about her presented in an easy to understand or. um. intentional way.

fandoms take the traits that characters display and explore and expand upon them- when a character or concept is interesting but poorly executed in canon, it will often receive a large amount of attention dedicated towards giving it its due.

when a girl has no real personality to speak of and exists pretty much just to die and make two others guys sad- well, that doesn't lay a very good base to explore! it's no wonder rin is an incredibly overlooked character.  

not me tho. id never overlook my girl. this is because i am a little bjt insane and also rabid about her. take my hand. let's explore the deep rabbit hole ive been silently digging for half a year now. there's nuance to her character i prommy- let me show you it.

disclaimer before we begin: i'm aware that the amount of character depth i can extrapolate from rin was not intentionally written in. i mean, like, that's not gonna stop me or anything. but im aware of it. some of the things here have little to no canon basis- i cobbled my rin characterization together with dramatic irony, copious amounts of masks, and spite. i do think that viewing rin like this adds flavor to the canon story, though, so maybe keep that in mind?

the first, central headcanon that influences pretty much everything about rin (to me) is that she hates the idea of being misinterpreted in life or in death. despite that, she wears masks built of what people expect her to be, and makes no effort to remove them and build real connections. and then she gets mad when no one really knows her. she contains multitudes.

this also adds a delicious twist to canon- from rin's pov, obito's great fault is not the murders, the betrayals, or the longing for a perfect world; its him mis-remembering her so BADLY that he somehow mischaracterized the mask she was wearing. my guy.

part of the reason rin wears masks is because she is unsure of who she is and what she wants, and she views that as a personal failure. she has made the logical fallacy, of course, that she has an immutable "true self" who she has managed to lose. she's also 12 and living in kill people repress your emotions city, so i guess we can give her a pass on that. the real important thing to understand here is that rin views any presentation of herself that is not her "true self" (smth that doesnt exist) as equally false. therefore, she assumes that it is easier to continue on with the mask she is already wearing than switch it out for smth just as bad. she does not know that the self is something cobbled together over a lifetime of stealing thoughts, feelings and mannerisms from other people and mixing it with your experiences and innate personality. she paints her cheeks purple because her father does, and he does it because his father did, who did it because his mother did, and on and on, but she cannot comprehend that the laugh she learned from him is just as unique. lmao

another thing about personhood: kakashi and obito, from an outside view, seem very put together. they have goals, for heaven's sake, they must know what they're doing! rin doesn't have a crush on kakashi- she admires him because he looks like he's got his life figured out! (when you start thinking kakashi's put together, you know something's wrong.)

the thing about rin's relationship with the rest of her team is that it's very one-sided. rin is obito's best friend- obito is not rin's best friend. the team spirit and unity that konoha tries to impress on them is lost on rin because she interacts with them like she's on an infiltration mission, and then gets mad that they don't know the "real" her, gets sad that she doesn't know the "real" her, and then puts on more masks to make sure no one notices, and the cycle repeats. the rest of team minato is fooled into thinking that they are close with her, and rin drifts further and further away. we see this when obito "dies-" she almost unaffected by it. now, it's probably portrayed like that as to not take away from kakashi's reaction, but it feeds nicely into my interpretation that she just… doesn't really care.

after obito dies and kakashi starts falling apart, i do think he and rin get a bit closer. he's obviously not in a great mental state to be worrying over her in any manner except physical safety, but he does wonder when her smile stretches a bit too thin and brittle. he never knows rin- not by her definition- but i think sometimes he gets to see her without any masks on: a limp doll who's tired of pretending at humanity.

last point on rin's mental state before we move onto the totally-there-and-real symbolism aspects of her character: she has a very, very apathetic attitude towards death that's only exacerbated by the fact that she's not really close to anyone. she's not exactly suicidal, but she wouldn't care if she died. she's not jumping at the bit to sacrifice herself- that apathy means she doesn't really care if anyone else dies, either. she holds on until she can't hold on anymore, and then she drops it like a hot potato. rin voice: wait if there's an afterlife why are we scared of dying. and then no one ever explained it to her so she never unlocked her fear of death.

ok! symbolism time! i, personally, am a huge proponent of moth/astronaut/icarus rin. there's a few threads that weave into that tapestry, so stick with me while we make our way through em.

first: remember what i said earlier, about rin hating obito for mis-remembering her rather than the whole infinite tsukuyomi gig? well, part of that is because she just really hates being misinterpreted, but the other part is that she wouldn't think infinite tsukuyomi was bad at all! remember, rin is very… nihilistic, and already has a tenuous relationship with consequences- she wouldn't see the problem with fixing things with an illusion. this slots into the moth interpretation- she's chasing the moon! 

second, there's the whole chidori thing. idk if you guys remember it, its only the most defining moment of rin's entire character in canon. the chidori looks like the sun. icarus. do you catch my drift

the rest of the points towards this symbolism are more vague and tend to lean more towards like. obscure references to the challenger crash and a reliance on my insistence that moths and icarus and astronauts ARE basically the same thing, thank you very much, but i think i've said enough to get my point across.

there's more i could say- we could explore aus where rin lives to adulthood, and how she would grow and develop, or we could dive into the fascinating relationship she has with minato and being a mednin, or how she and sasuke are 2 flavors of the same guy, but this post is already stupid long, so i'll save that for another time. just know that rin is the coolest girly ever. and she deserves to kill.