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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Ducktales: Terror of the Terra-Firmians! (Lena Retrospective) (Commission by WeirdKev27): Launchpad Looses his Last Brain Cell and I Loose My Patience

Welcome back Weblena Warriors to the second part of my look at everyone’s favorite Emo Teen Shadow Lesbian Duck... and probably the only one but hey, semantics, Shadow Into Light, which was made possible by viewers like you, the ultra humanite and a commission from WeirdKev27. Picking up where we left off, we have our first episode that has a different intended order than airing order.

As most of you probably remember, but some of you who joined later might not be aware of the broadcast order for the first half of season one is, in the academic sense, pretty fucked. It’s not Darkwing Duck’s entirely fucked by a web of badger spiders and a queen snake on top to make it some sort of train situation, but by just sorta airing whatever episodes they wanted to, Disney messed with the character balance so Huey got less focus, not that he got a ton of focus this season but still, as well as leaning into the episodes focusing more on the kids with less involvement from the adults which gave the wrong impression about the series. While it IS very focused on the triplets and webby, the show isn’t entirely about them, but as Frank has mentioned a few times, Disney Channel apparently has this WEIRD thing where they assume kids won’t like stories starring the adult characters.

Yeah I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while. Mostly how it’s so dumb I could swear Pauly Shore was an exec at Disney Channel. And he might be I don’t know what he’s doing these days and i’d like to keep it that way. For starters, the Scooge comics, while barely published in the US these days, are still popular globally and have appealed to kids and adults for generations and are mostly focused on him, with the kids in a supporting role and Ducktales, you know the thing your directly remaking here, was also mostly about him with the triplets supporting, if a bit less than the comics. Most of the Disney Afternoon was about adult characters, with any kids in side roles in the main cast. And it comes off entirely hypocritical of them to say this when the MCU is easily marvel’s biggest cash cow at the moment, and marvel properties have appealed to both kids and adults, like the duck comics, for decades. And if it’s because the marvel cartoons weren’t doing well , I’ll let you in on a little secret: Those didn’t do well because they looked bland and from what I’ve seen of them felt kind of bland, though I haven’t seen enough to fully judge. Kids LIKE adult characters as much as kid characters, and also like teen characters despite not being teens. Focusing on either is valid and while I LIKED Disney’s youth starring shows I also want another X-Men cartoon before I turn 50, and I bet kids would like that too, with the last one only failing because you bailed on it because you were throwing a hissy fit over fox having the movie rights, and do not get me started on that. Point is this argument is horse shit and should stay in the stables.

So yeah I do think this episode came too soon and it’s placement effected it at the time and as such it dosen’t have the best rep with the fandom aside from the Lena bits and that includes me. The fact it was very early in the series and the characterizations hadn’t yet sunk in really hurt this episode in places but is it really that bad? Join me under the cut to find out

We open at the movies! Which scrooge apparently hasn’t been too since the 1930′s or seen any on video despite Della existing and being really stubborn.

A rant for another episode. But the kids just got out of a Mole Monster movie, along with Lena, Beakly and Launchpad. Their reactions are as follows: Lena, Webby and Dewey really enjoyed it, Huey found it unrealistic... says the boy whose uncle fought a dragon made of gold a month or two back but we’ll get to that, and Louie was bored and felt it didn’t have enough of the ultra violence, kids these days it’s not about the gore it’s about the tension. And Beakly.. is just pissed Lena tricked them into seeing this and said it was educational. And the more I think about it the more this sounds like BEAKLYS fault than Lena’s. BEAKLY is the one who likely bought the tickets, who saw it was likely an r or pg-13 and who as we’ve seen HAS A PHONE, and ulnike scrooge probably isn’t so stingy she wouldn’t spring for a smart phone, so she could’ve just googled it, or whatever bird related pun is in this version.. gandered it.. yeah let’s go with that, gandered it, and SEEEN it wasn’t appropriate or walked htem out of the theater and ate the cost if she was that bothered by it. Sitting through a Horror Movie you didn’t research, didn’t pull the kids out of and dind’t bother to even check the poster for or use basic common sense is YOUR fault. And this could’ve worked fine, had Lena talk the kids into begging for it or had launchpad take them and have Beakly find out after, having driven to pick them up as she didn’t trust launchpad to take them home. Instead it makes the former super spy look REALLY stupid and feels really out of character for a SPY to not to do research. And it wasn’t like they decided on this later, Bentina being a spy was part of the character’s backstory from day one and its made clear as early as episode 2 in both airing orders. This is just lazy writing to justify the episode and I expect better from this crew.

But an argument errupts between Huey and Webby over the Terra-Firmians, a hidden race of rock people living in Duckburg’s discontinued sewer system, allegedlys. So Lena suggest simply going down which gets a disapproving look from Beakly, despite you know this being their bread and butter, and the fact that if she had a problem with Scrooge not being involved.. she could just call him. Exploring fabled rock people is something he’d be into. I mean there’s a low profit margin but it also costs him almost nothing to walk to the theater or have launchpad swing around and pick him up. Just gas which given how much he pays for jet fuel isn’t a big ask. But Beakly soon gets distracted by Launchpad whose convinced the film is real and is attacking the poster a grim sign of things to come as while Beakly annoyed me in this one on rewatch, especially after realizing the above... Launchpad annoyed me both times and for VERY good reason we’ll get into. This provides a distraction and allows the trio to escape. Cue titles.

After the title sequence, our heroes head deeper underground, there’s too much panic in this town... I mean props to Donald for trying something new but he really needs to rethink his cologne choices. Sex Panther is just.. not a good smell on.. anyone.

So our heroes journey through the depths of the subway system, and we find out part of why Huey’s so skeptical, as he finds anything that isn’t in the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook to not exist, though the cracks in this already show as he’s added anything that does. We’ll get back to this later but as you can tell the basic dynamic for 24 minutes is Webby being a wholehearted True Believer and Huey being a Skeptical Sally. And Lena is just sorta “Eh gives me an excuse for shenanigans” about it. We also get a peak into webby’s mind as we see her notes .. which really just come off as Terra-Firmian fanfiction involving a war of succession between two sides, the terra’s and the firmies, something based on previous media, and also some doodles of a fictional candy called webby-dings and herself as a superhero, both things I want to see.

But yeah the first third of the episode is pretty simple, just them journeying, the occasional shift in the firmament, and it’s not bad, and there are a few great bits: Huey nerds out about rocks, and finds them way more interesting than a possible rock monster.

Which leads to the best gag of the episode as when Huey tries to pick up a big sample Webby, annoyed at his hyperfixation on the JWG, asks him to ask his book for help.. which he does by reading it and actually manages to pick the large rock up. This is halted though when Lena screams.. though she really just did it to draw them to an abandoned subway car full of glomgold posters for glomgold products because of course a failed subway project has his name plastered over it. You can’t spell glomgold without failure.. the failure is silent. Glomgold is not.

The fun is interuptted though by a livid Beakly who had realized they were missing in an earlier scene, after telling the Manager that McDuck Industries would pay for the poster.. and then found out Launchpad also destroyed the toilets “They come up thorugh the sewers!”. Launchpad that’s CHUDS, Ninja Turtles and Rats who raised Ninja Turtles like their own sons, mole people dig or use old mineshafts. It’s basic mole science. Also Beakly really shouldn’t sweat it, I just assumed the city has had a runnig bill witht he company for “McDuck Family and Employee Related Accidents, Mayhem and Shenanigans”. I mean he’s had Gyro on his payroll for at least a decade and a half by the series start, Gyro has leveled whole sections of city in an afternoon more than most giant monsters. Of which several have destroyed Duckburg. It got better.

Point is she’s livid about them sneaking off with Lena pointing out their some sort of adventure family and Beakly.. saying she won’t see them again, or at least implying it hard. I’ll put a pin in this, as the train buckles and a bit of seismic, or rock men, activity means their stuck. So they divide into teams: Beakly will go try and unhook the train car from the busted cars so they can ride out, Launchpad will go try and fix it, and we get this lovely exxchange as a result

Launchpad: Cool never crashed a train before Beakly: Can’t you try driving it without crashing it? Launchpad: Wha?

His face in that scene is priceless. He takes Dewey along. More on that in a second. Webby, Huey and Louie are told to stay put with Beakly only bringing Lena along because she dosen’t trust her. So since we have three split plots for a second... let’s split up gang, starting with the most aggrivating, middling with what you all came here for and why this is part of the retrsopective, and ending with the plot that directly heads into the final part of the episode.

Launchpad and Dewey: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Okay starting with the most infamous plot and easily the worst part of this episode, probably the worst plot in any Ducktales 2017 episode. That’s not hyperbole it’s really that bad and really pissed people off, as fans of the original launchpad felt they made him overly stupid. This is where the airing order’s a problem as putting an episode with a subplot where one of your characters is obnoxiously dumb right up front means they assume this is his charcter and not just one poorly written chapter in a very dumb but very loveable characters life, likely because the writers hadn’t figured out how to properly scale his stupidity with comptience.

So as a result we get a good 3-4 mintutes if not agonizingly more of Launchpad assuming something he saw in a fucking movie film was real. That.. that’s his actual plot. Need I remind you, he’s in his late 20′s early 30′s. He’s not much older than me. While other episodes have him as dim this one claims he CAN’T TELL FACT FROM FICTION.

There are lines you have to keep with your characters to keep the audience from hating them. They crossed it about 80 times with this plot and make Launchpad into a gibbering dunderhead who can’t do anything right versus a regular dunderhead whose good at one or two things and loveable enough for us to like him and not care about his numerous safey violations and child endagerment charges. Thankfully this is the ONLY episode that gets this bad and they clearly learned from this, but it dosen’t make it any less of a tough sit.

Dewey spends most of the subplot with a look on his face that just screams that he’s as done with this bullshit as we are, as Launchpad assumes he’s a mole person and brought along a pipe to presumibly bludgeon him, because wanting to cave his best friends skull in over stupidity is a GREAT look> Thankfuly he does not. And when the lights come back on Launchpad.. assumes he’s a monster because of bright light, GAH, and locks him out before they end up outside and the plto resolves itself by Dewey pointing out by Launchpad’s utterly baffling logic that he could be a mole monster, so Launchpad.. assumes he is.

The subplot’s later buttoned up as he claims “I love being a mole monster”, again diffrent subteranian creature launchpad, she says he’s not and my suffering is thankfully at an end. This plot just sucks, it’s bad, overly stupid and dosen’t work with an adult character. Someone like say Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy, or someone who belivies in weird conspiracy stuff like Dale Gribble or Stan Pines. with either of them this plot would’ve been fucking great. I could buy it from Dale and it just comes off as his normal paranoid weirdness. With Launchpad it comes off like he seriously needs help because the episode frames it as if he can’t tell ficton from reality, and his splotlight episode later would directly contridct this and make this episode even more aggrivating, as he’s a fan of Darkwing Duck, and KNOWS it’s acted out by an actor, so why wouldn’t he get this? It’s just....

It sucks, it sucks and I thankfully get to move on to a better subplot

Beakly and Lena: What You Are in the Dark

Beakly tells Lena she’ll never see Webby again after this.. then chastises her when she won’t help despite you know having just said she’s going to force their friendship apart, which Lena points out. She then gets mad at Lena making a sarcastic comment at her. Okay she’s lived with Louie for at least a week in airing order and a month or two in actual order. She has to be used to this by now. She’s insolent.. because you show her no respect, blame her for something that while sure she talked you into, you should’ve known better, and top it off by saying you want to keep her from the kids because they have bright futures and come from good familes and asks who rasied her and her face.. well.

Yeah wheras Launchpad and Huey, more on that in a second, were hurt by this being some of their earliest big roles, Bentina wasn’t.. until later when we found out just HOW bad Magica is to Lena and how much she dosen’t care about her other than as a tool to use. At this point we didn’t know just how much Lena was playing webby, how much she was only manipulating her, and even with her heroic act here we didn’t know if she only saw Webby as her way to break free. The next episode makes it clear she dosen’t and genuinely does care, 100%, so in hindsight it makes Bentina come off as ghoulsih for horribly asssuming about a girl she dosen’t know, and even if she did know about Magica wouldn’t know the full story, just like us, and then BERATING her after already saying she’s going to rip her away from Webby, which itself is PRETTY bad as she’s the only friend the girl has and sh’es doing so on... talking them into a horror movie, which as I outlined was more Bentina’s fault than Lena’s, and leading the kids into a dangerous place whicha gain, Lena pointed out is something she lets Scrooge do. And trust me i know that she actually knows Scrooge, and we later find out, as we’ll cover next month, that she isn’t ware HOW dangerous things are with Scrooge. It dosen’t change the fact she knows they do dangerous stuff to a point and that Lena may just be acting out. It also dosen’t change the fact she drove three children, yes including launchpad, down here with her instead of sending them home with Launchpad.. granted that option isn’t the safest but it’s safer than taking her with them thena cting like it’s ALL lena’s fault when three of the children, again including launchpad, are down there because of HER. Not Lena, HER. I’m harder on her because she’s older, wiser and was “raised properly” apparently. Though given the way she treats a random teen off the street she again knows nothing about and dind’t bother to ask... it begs the question.

IT’s a good question. I could see the classism coming from being raised in 40′s and 50′s britain, judging by the timeline.. but even then she’s seen the world, and while her nature is supscious, the classit bullshit makes no sense after presumibly working with, and later spymastering for, various agents of various backgrounds. How has she not dropped this in decades. Scrooge very clearly dropped the racisim and homophobia of his time, so it still stands on her for not dropping this. And Lena’s hurt shows under hte mask for the first time, that beneath the snark and secrecy.. is just an abused teenager with nowhere else to go and no way out being bullied by an older woman whose cutting off the only light at the end of the tunnel nto for good reason but out of classist, overprotective mallice. My issues, which to be fair probably were intentional in the episode but sitll are a bit overblown, aside we do get an absoluttley tremendous moment later as a car falls on top of Beakly.. and Magica, speaking once more urges Lena to leave her, let her die and let their plans progress. And while that iself is.. dumb, what if someone finds her or her corpse later, especially since Scrooge would likely perosnally want to retrive the body to give her a proper burial as she’s his only friend at this point, or the rest of the family questoin the story?, it fits Magica’s lack of foresight we see throughout the season. But Lena... saves her. While she later gives an explination, and a valid one at that, it’s clear from her expressoin, her actoins and how she does it... that this is her. Part of it is defiance, as she glares at Magica before doing it, her own stubborn nature mixed with her hatred of her “aunt”, meaning Magica just made it all too easy for her to do this. But the real reason is clear: It’s the right thing to do. While pissing off her aunt and getting away with it is the cherry on top.. the real reason is that unlike Magica.. Lena is not a killer, not a monster, and not a heartless vacum ofa person. Even if she doesn’t like Beakly, for good reason.. she can’t, she WON’T leave her to die and leave Webby an orphan again. She loves Webby too much to do that to her and while she may deny it.. she’s too good a person to leave someone to die for something so petty. Even if she never sees webby again and the plans ruined. It’s better than the weight of knowing she let someone who wasn’t trying to harm her and whose actions, while terrible, were out of misguided protection of her granddaughter, die like this. She saves her. And as we’ll see it pays off.. but before that.

Huey, Webby and Louie: Into the Unknown This plot’s a bit shorter, as Webby and Huey continue their argument, with Louie eventually making it clear, and not even hiding it when directly asked by Huey, that he’s playing both sides with a delighted expression on his face as the movie was boring but this, this is interesting. Which it is. But it’s interupted by dings on the roof and while Huey assumes i’ts just a regular rock, it moves while their not lookiung.. and soon red eyed, horrifying beasts look out at them and the kids flee back to the car. This dosen’t pan out as the car starts to shake and is clearly going to collapse.. and while Webby and Louie are prepared to flee, rock monsters or no, Huey, in an utterly heart shattering image.. stays in place, terrified of moving.

This is where this plot goes from mildly aggrivating, as Huey’s Skeptic shenanigans can get on the nerves.. to BRILLIANT. See at the time this was more annoying because it was assumed the skepticsim would be a part of Huey’s character and we’d get more episodes of him being annoying only to be proven wrong, as he semeingly dosen’t learn his lesson at this point, looging the terrafrimians in the guide book. But on rewatch.. this plot is amazing. For starters the plot subtly introduced the defening characteristic of Huey’s personality, one that’s become more prounounced in Season 3: His need for Order. He needs things to make sense: He solves stuff because he likes there to be order in the world and something he can understand, he can put in a box in his head. Like a lot of neurotypical people, myself included, he struggles horribly when the clearly defined boxes of his life and things he undestand have wrinkles or complexities he can’t get. I for instnace easily got it when I was introduced to the concept of trans people or being non binary.. they just make sense in hindsight: given how our brains are messya nd complicated it makes sense some people would be born in the wrong ones, and tht with all the science and medicine we have to correct that, should be allowed to transition if they so choose. It makes equal sense that some people just don’t have a gender or are gender fluid, being both or neither. Despite struggling with non binary prounouns due to force of habit.. I get the concept with no real difficulty. But when it comes to accepting I don’t have to apologize for everything and that everyone is not angry or that anger is natural and people sometimes get mad and you can’t and shouldnt’ fix it.. it’s something I STRUGGLE with even knowing it’s not right, because my brain is just wired that way.

That’s how Huey’s struggle comes off here.. he reveals he’s willing to stay and die.. because he’s SO scared of the unknown, that the idea of dying from something he at least knows what it is versus something he dosen’t.., so paralizyed by his own brain he can’t figure out the obvious.. it takes Webby reaching out to him figuratively and literally, to show him that sometimes you have to face the unknown. The unknown is fucking terrifying.. but it can be good and it’s better than sitting there, scared and unable to move. You have to try, to grow and take that risk that things may not go well to really LIVE.

So he does.. and they reunite with the rest of the group.. and soon find the terrafirmains.. who as it turns out once we get some light on them... are actually just goofy looking, brightly colored, each one matching one of the kids, kids themselves, and Huey reaches out and touches one, which by ET logic means their friends now, and the terrafirmians help them get out. And this lesson sticks. While sure Huey catalogues it and it seems it didn’t.. he’s never this skeptical again. This douchey skepticsim was only for one episode, his fear of the uknown replcaed with boundless curosity and from here on he’s CURIOUS about new stuff as long as it’s not trying to kill him. He loves taking in new experinces, maybe not to webby levels but he does actually try them and study them instead of just fearing them.

Before we wrap things up, obviously we need to talk about the JWG not having entries on a lot of stuff. This would be corrected next season as it returns to being a big book of everything, but dosen’t completely contridct this as Timephoon! shows there’s stillcgaps.. which i’m fine with. While it knowing EVERYTHING was fine for the original series here, with things being slightly more groudned, it’d just be an obvious plothole if Huey didn’t use it every single time they ran into something and that’d get boring. Instead it’s simply that it dosen’t know everything, and really in the comics at times it didn’t and the triplets found out new things. It knew almost everything mind you, but having some gaps for dramatic tnesion is fine with me and Seasons 2 and 3 decided on that instead of just having it being a scouting manual which wa sfor the best. And even by later in the season hit has guides to getting a small buisness loan, so they already course corrected.

So everything’s wrapped up and while Magica berates Lena for disobeying her.. Beakly interputps, thankfully not seeing magica and admits she was wrong and invites Lena for pancakes, even taking a crack about if their actually pancakes or english muffins with syrup, which sounds like my own living hell, in stride, having clearly grown. And Lena explains to Magica that this was the better approach: now she’s got the in theyw anted, and is above suspcison for now. Still not so much that an obvious act won’t be detected but enough that she dosen’t ahve to work actively around her anymore. Magica scoffs.. and while part of it is probably rage.. part of it is deep down both of them know she did it out of defiance.. and only Lena knows that she did it for the right reasons... she just dosen’t get why. She probably justifies it as playing the long game.. but deep down she knows something’s changing about her.. and she’s not sure if that’s a godo thing or not.

Final Thoughts: This episode is as you can tell a mixed bag. It’s 2/3 of a good episode, with the Lena plot, my issues aside, being excellent and the Terra-Firmian plot likewise fun, even if Huey can get grating the payoff is worth it, and the jokes are really high quality. It’s just bogged down by that fucking launchpad plot that just crushed my soul in it’s palms every time it came back. I went on at length why i hated that one but boy oh boy was the hate of that subplot warranted and I stand by calling it the worst plot of the series. It is: it’s not funny, it makes no goddamn sense, and it drags down what’s otherwise a pretty solid epsiode.

Next Time on Lena: Jaws the shark, lurking in the dark, in the depths of the bin one day of a lark decides to get rowdy, get real violent takes a vacay out to Duckburg er.. Island.. also Scrooge faces his greatest Nemesis.. a PR Tour to clean up his image after an unfortunate giant Beanstalk Incident. Be there and be hip to be square.

Next Time on This Blog: I Tackle a DCOM for the first time for another commissioned review as we take a look at racisim, specifically Apartheid and breaking indoctrination, with The Color of Friendship. See you next Rainbow.

#ducktales #ducktales 2017 #lena sabrewing #webby vanderquack #weblena #bentina beakly #launchpad mcquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #terror of the terra-firmians!#disney channel #disney xd #disney plus #disney #disney ducks #comissions

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temilyrights · 3 years

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Miscommunication

Summary: Jack Sloane x Reader. You accidently mistake a dinner invitation from Jack as a date.

A/N: Exam season has had me in zombie mode but I'm almost alive again! I started writing this in like September and completely forgot about it until I picked it up again a few weeks ago. Pretty light angst considering my work. I wanted a better title but I couldn’t think of one and wanted to upload. Anyway, as always, feedback is welcome and appreciated :) Enjoy!

Read on AO3

You smooth out the wrinkles in your outfit as you make your way down the path to Jack’s house, flowers clenched tightly in one hand, and teeth digging into your lip.

This was actually happening. A date with Jacqueline Sloane. You blow out a breath and knock on the door, trying to keep a calm exterior while your stomach does somersaults.

“You’re here!” Jack cheers as she opens the door, and you’re instantly blown away. She’s wearing a simple white button-down, French tucked into a pair of blue skinny jeans that fit her like a glove. Her feet are bare of shoes and socks, so you can see her freshly painted red nails, and her hair is in its usual beach waves. She’s stunning. “Y/N?”

Your eyes snap up to hers. She’s watching you with amusement. “Sorry, uh, hi.” Your cheeks tinge pink, and in an attempt to hide that fact from Jack you shove the flowers at her. “Uh, I got you these.”

She gracefully accepts the bouquet, her smile turning soft as she looks from the flowers to you. “My favourite. How’d you know?”

You shrug. “You aren’t the only one who notices things.” It hadn’t been too hard to work out, she’d had a bouquet of them in her office a while back and then again in her living room recently. She’d had other types as well, but you noticed the way she always smiled a little brighter when she saw the beautiful arrangement of iris’ and daffodils. It suited her, and coincidentally also portrayed a fitting message. The yellow daffodils represented new beginnings and the blue iris’ hope, which was what tonight felt like.

She drops her head to breath in the flowers, a look of bliss crossing her face before she meets your eyes again. She reaches for your hand and squeezes, rubbing her thumb in circles across your palm. “Thank you. I love them.” She’s closer than before, and your eyes drop to her lips momentarily before you quickly meet her gaze again. Jack clears her throat and steps back, releasing your hand in the process and you try not to miss the contact. She signals down the hallway, “Well, I should go find a vase for these. If you join everyone else in the living room, I’ll be in in a minute.”

“E-everyone else?” You ask as your stomach drops, but Jack is already walking away, nose buried back in the flowers. You force yourself inside, and take your shoes off, leaving them by the door. It’s when you move to hang your jacket in her coat cupboard that you finally hear the sound of Ellie’s distinctive laughter flowing through the house.

You pause, squeezing your eyes shut as you bury down the humiliation and disappointment coursing through you. Of course, you’d misunderstood Jack invite for dinner. Thinking back, she never did specify it was a date, but she hadn’t mentioned other people either, and you’d just assumed, or hoped, or whatever, because it didn’t matter. Of course, Jacqueline Sloane didn’t want to date you and oh no you’d just bought her flowers! Flowers!

You groan and make your way further into the house, forcing a smile on your face as you step into the living room. Ellie, Nick, Tim, and Delilah are all sitting around but are way too consumed in what they’re debating to notice you. You take the opportunity to lean against the door frame and listen.

“Easy. No junk food.” Nick smirks, leaning back into the couch.

Ellie makes a noise of outrage, eyes bulging, “You’re joking, right? That means no chocolate, chips-”

“I’m not seeing a problem.” You smother a chuckle. He thought you didn’t all know about the chip stash he had locked away in his desk that he always ended up inhaling when he thought no one was around.

“-no takeout, and no burgers.”

“What? Burger’s don’t count!”

Delilah laughs, “Yes, they totally do.”

“Fine, whatever, I’m still sticking with my answer.” Nick huffs.

Ellie just rolls her eyes. “Well, obviously I’d choose no TV, how about you Tim?”

“The two don’t correlate, it’s not a fair would you rather.”

“You just can’t decide if you’d rather never watch Star Trek or eat Doritos again,” Delilah smirks.

“No, it’s just not a fair question!”

“Come on Tim, just admit you can’t live without your yearly Star Trek rewatch.”

Ellie hums, “Yeah, but can he live without Domino's stuffed crust pizza either?”

Tim rolls his eyes, “It’s not a fair-” he cuts off when he spots you in the doorway, eyes sparkling with delight at the chance for an escape, “Hey, look it’s Y/N.”

The other’s all swing around to look at you as you smirk. “Would you rather? Really?”

Ellie shrugs, “Need something to pass the time why we waited for you to appear.”

“Wait for me to- I’m early?” You pull your phone from your pocket to double-check, “Yeah. Early. Jack said half six and it’s only 6.27 now.”

They all frown looking between each other, Tim is the one who speaks, “She told us six.”

“What? She told me and Nick five-thirty!”

“Dinner’s basically ready if you all-,” Jack says as she enters the room, her words quickly die off and she comes to a halt as you all snap around to look at her. Her eyes narrow, “Want to move to the dining room...Have I missed something?”

“You gave us all different arrival times?” Nick asks.

“Oh, yes.” Jack nods. Everyone stares at her waiting for her to continue, and she rolls her eyes, “Nick, I knew you and Ellie were coming together and when you do you are almost always at least 45 minutes late to every plan we make. Tim and Delilah, you are usually about 30 minutes late too. Y/N on the other hand is practically always on time. By giving you different arrival slots, I could be sure you’d all be here by 6.40 when dinner would be ready.” She shrugs, signalling to Ellie and Nick, “You two didn’t arrive till six so I wasn’t completely off.”

Tim’s and Ellie’s mouths hang open in shock, while Nick looks mildly annoyed and Delilah is watching Jack with an impressed smirk. You don’t really know how to respond, but when Jack looks at you, her eyes dancing with amusement, you can’t help but chuckle.

“Now, dinner?” She claps her hands together, swinging on her heels and exiting the room before anyone can utter another word.

----

Jack’s outdone herself. The room smells absolutely mouth-watering. And Ellie voices as much when she swallows her first mouthful of food with a moan. “Oh my god, Jack. This is delicious.” Everyone murmurs along in agreement and Jack preens.

The conversation flows easily and as much as you try to keep yourself engaged, laughing and commenting in all the right places, you quickly find yourself retreating. You’d deliberately taken the seat furthest away from where Jack sat at the head of the table, choosing instead to sit beside Ellie. Tim sat the other side of you, at the end of the table. While Delilah was opposite you, and Nick beside her.

Jack's eyes had flicked to you a few times now, she was beginning to notice your odd behaviour. It wasn’t like you to be so silent, but you knew she wouldn’t say anything until she could get you alone, and it wasn’t like that was going to happen any time soon. Delilah was also watching you, and when she caught your eye, she shot you a questioning look. You quickly buried your head in your glass instead of answering it.

“So, how was your date the other night?” Jack smirks at Ellie, eyes teasing as Ellie releases a dramatic groan.

“Oh, don’t. We can’t all have the luck you do. How is the mystery person you won’t tell me about?” Ellie gleams, as Jack’s eyes widen.

Your gaze snaps to her, words spilling forth without thought. “I didn’t know you were seeing someone?” Hurt seeps into your voice and you just hope it’s subtle enough that nobody notices.

“There isn’t anyone!” Panic flashes in her eyes before she looks away and clears her throat, “I mean, there was a couple of dates with a man, but it’s not- we aren’t- I’m not seeing him.”

You drop your head so she can’t see the pain clear in your face, and quickly reach for your wine glass and take a large gulp. Jack does the same as an awkward silence takes over the room until Ellie, thankfully, starts talking again, drawing the attention of everyone and allowing you a moment to compose yourself.

Delilah’s watching you when you look back up and immediately catches your eye. She looks at you like she understands like she sees exactly what you’re so desperately trying to hide, and your emotions come swarming back tangling in your throat. Jack’s eyes bore into the side of your head too, but you refuse to look because you know the second you meet her eyes, she’ll see it all.

“Excuse me,” You cough, pushing yourself up from your chair a little too roughly and knocking the table. It doesn’t slow you down though, and you don’t meet anyone’s eyes as you quickly flee the room.

You lock the bathroom door behind you with a shaky hand and then lean back against it, allowing the cool wood to calm you down as you take deep breaths. Tears burn your eyes, and you so desperately don’t want to let them fall but they do anyway.

A date. You’d thought tonight was a date, and not only had you been wrong, but she plainly wasn’t interested as she was dating other people!

Your mind screams as you curse yourself for being stupid enough to get your hopes up. How many times were you going to have to learn this lesson? When had getting your hopes up ever ended positively for you?

Pushing yourself off the door you sigh, carefully wiping the tears from your face in an effort to not disturb your makeup. You wipe at your slightly smudged mascara with tissue, it’s not perfect but it works enough to hide the evidence of your tears. Pulling yourself together you spare one last glance at yourself and open the door.

Jack’s leaning against the wall outside, biting the hangnail on her thumb. She quickly drops her hand and stands properly the second you step over the threshold of the bathroom. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course. I just needed to pee.” You force a small laugh, hoping to dispel her worry and any questions.

She arches a brow, “Without flushing the toilet?”

“Are you policing my bathroom breaks now?” You laugh as panic clutches at your chest.

She takes a step closer, eliminating most of the space between her and you. Her eyes track your face as her brows furrow, “You’ve been off all evening.”

“I’m just tired.” You shrug and look over her shoulder, “Come on, let’s get back to the others.” You go to step around her, but she grabs your wrist, and you instantly freeze. You close your eyes before looking back to her. She’s watching you so closely and your heart starts thumping in your chest, but you force a small smile anyway, “Jack, I’m fine. It’s just been a long week and I’m just tired.”

“You said that already.”

You roll your eyes and take a step back. Needing to break the contact between your skin and her. “Yeah well, maybe because it’s true.”

“Also, you’re a terrible liar.”

“Can’t be that bad, still managed to beat you at poker more than once.” You tease back, hoping to distract her with jokes instead of letting her push any further.

“I was distracted.”

“Fornell’s chatter annoys you that much?”

“I learnt to tune him out a long time ago.” She hums.

You frown, “Then what was distracting you?”

Jack's eyes flash like she knows she’s been caught out, and she takes another step back and tries to laugh, “Maybe we should go back and join the others.”

“No, wait a minute!” You grab her wrist and pull her back in. She rolls her eyes, but you know it’s a defence to make you believe she’s not bothered when she clearly is. You think over the last poker night you’d won a few months back. You’d been in a great mood because Jack had gotten a little drunk and had been all smiley and touchy. After the game had finished, she had disappeared to Fornell’s kitchen to grab a beer and returned with one for you.

“For our champion.” She’d smirked, leaning down and hanging her hands around your neck as she passed you the drink. Your face had promptly turned scarlet and when you’d looked up at Jack to see her soft eyes and drunken smile the rest of the world had faded away. Your eyes had only been drawn away from her lips when someone coughed loudly.

It’d been Grace who had had a smug smirk on her face and thinking back she’d been shooting Jack that look a lot recently which was almost always returned with a glare from Jack.

“Grace?” You ask.

“What?” Jack frowns.

“She’s been distracting you.”

“Right, yeah. It’s Grace.” She nods along, and it doesn’t take a psychologist to know she’s lying.

“Now who’s the bad liar.”

She arches a brow, “Still you. I should probably be insulted by how much you look like you don’t want to be here tonight.” Her lips pout slightly, proving she is actually upset by it.

“I turned up on time, that’s a good indicator I do.”

“Yeah, with flowers…” Her brows furrow again, her eyes examining your face. You release her wrist and step back, but it only causes her frown to deepen. “You bought me flowers.” She says as if she’s trying to piece a puzzle together aloud. “My favourite flowers and you dressed up more than usual…” Her eyes widen before quickly turning soft, “You thought it was a date.”

“No. No, I didn’t.” You rush out, even as your cheeks turn red and you wish for the ground to swallow you up whole.

Her eyes remain soft, a smile pulling at her lips as she takes a step closer to you. “You thought it was a date.”

“Jack,” You gulp, shaking your head. Her hand brushes against yours.

“You thought it was a date.” She repeats again, and it’s only when she’s this close that you finally realise just how happy she looks. There’s no pity in her eyes, and the tension seeps from your shoulders as you smile hesitantly.

“I may have thought this was a date.”

She grins as her spare hand grips at your waist. “You thought it was a date.”

You roll your eyes, “Do you wanna say anything else other than those five words?”

Her eyebrow arches, a cocky smirk tugging at her lips. “How about you kiss me?”

“What about your guests?”

“I’m sure they can handle a few more minutes without us.” As if on cue a smash sounds from the dining room and Jack sighs, “or not.”

“Sorry, Jack!” Ellie shouts, “I’m cleaning it up, don’t worry!”

“If there’s now red wine over my carpet I’m going to kill her,” Jack grumbles and you’re pretty sure she’s only half-joking.

“Maybe don’t kill our friend. I’d miss her.”

She sighs dramatically as she tries to keep her lips from curling into a smile, “If you insist.”

“I know it’s a huge sacrifice on your part, but I’m sure there’s something I can do to make it worth it.” You smirk.

Her eyes darken as she leans in closer. She’s focused on your lips but at the last second her eyes meet yours, “Before our first date?” She whispers.

You twirl a strand of her hair around your finger, before moving to caress her cheek. Her eyes fall close as she sighs and leans into the touch. “Wouldn’t want you to kill Ellie.”

She hums, “Yes. Might have no choice otherwise.” Her eyes open, sparkling brightly as her lips twitch.

“Yep.” You nod, as your eyes trail across her lips. “It’s all for the greater good. Saving lives. All that jazz.”

“Hey, Jack. Have you got anymore- Oh, oh my god, sorry.” Tim apologises, immediately turning back around as he steps into the hallway. He keeps his back to you. “Sorry. Uh, kitchen roll, dishcloths, if you have any could you bring some when you’re done. Again, sorry.” He quickly hurries off, and even though you can’t see his face you know it’s bright red.

You immediately start laughing, “I swear he’s as bad as Jimmy sometimes.”

Jack hums and then sighs as she steps away, forcing you to drop your hands from her. You can’t help but pout slightly.

“I should go check out this mess.”

“Yeah.” You sigh, and you don’t feel bad for silently wishing everyone else would go home so, you could spend the rest of the evening alone with her.

As if following your thoughts, she smirks. “They can wait a few more minutes.” And in one swoop, she steps forward, her hand sliding around and gripping your neck before pulling you in and kissing you.

Your eyes widen in shock before they quickly fall close. You pull her in closer, matching her hurried, hot kisses. It’s like fireworks, or maybe more just heat shooting straight between your legs, but you could so easily drown in her kisses forever.

She pulls away though, a proud smirk on her face. You must look as dazed as you feel. “You’re definitely staying tonight.” She hums, eyes dark and she’s practically devouring you with them. You gulp slightly, turned on beyond belief and you can’t believe you still have to sit through the rest of dinner and dessert with your friends.

“Any chance we can kick everyone else out now?”

She laughs and pecks your lips, “Don’t think they’d appreciate that.”

“Don’t really care.” You grumble.

Her eyes sparkle and she steps away, despite you trying to keep her close. “I’m going to get dishcloths. The sooner we get back in there the sooner I’ll have you all to myself.” She winks and retreats to the other room before you can utter another word.

You gulp and head back to the dining room in almost a trance. Delilah breaks into laughter the second she sees you; Nick and Ellie are both grinning, and Tim still has a pink tinge to his face.

You clear your throat and take your seat as Jack enters the room.

“Oh, thank god it’s just water.” She sighs in relief as she makes her way to the soaked carpet beside Ellie’s chair.

“Hey, Y/N.” Delilah chuckles again, and you hesitantly meet her eyes. “You’ve got a bit of lipstick…” She points to her own lips.

Your eyes widen in surprise and you swing around to look at Jack whose face is full of faux innocence.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You whine, trying to rub the pink hue from your mouth.

“Where’s the fun in that?” She smirks.

“Should’ve just let you kill Ellie.” You mumble, using your reflection in your glass to see if you’ve been successful.

“Hey!” Ellie protests, “Why am I dying?”

You don’t answer her question, and Jack just returns to cleaning the mess without responding. Ellie pouts.

The second dessert finished, you not so subtly begin guiding everyone to the door, and the moment it closes behind Ellie (who you know took deliberately longer to leave just to spite you), Jack spins you around and pins you to the wall.

“Now who’s the one that wants to kill Ellie.” She hums as she begins to leave a trail of kisses up your neck.

“Between us, I’m sure we could do it successfully.” You sigh as she hits a particular spot, and you feel her smirk. “But no more Ellie talk. Or murder talk. Or anything talk that isn’t about you getting me in your bed.”

“Agreed.” Jack hums, before finally capturing your lips with hers. Your knees turn weak, and you’re grateful for the wall behind you. Your hands find her hair and her leg slides in between yours. You release a breathy sigh at the pressure, gripping at her hair and causing her to groan and lean harder against you.

“Bed. Now.” You order, and she’s more than happy to comply.

It’s a mission to get to her room because you both refuse to separate, too focused on getting the other out of their clothes.

“I’m going to make you scream,” Jack whispers against your lips, as her hands tease up your now shirtless body.

“Oh, yeah?” You smirk, “Do it then.”

And she does. Multiple times.

#jack sloane x reader #jack sloane #jacqueline sloane #ncis #fanfic #writing #miscommunication #reader-insert #regal-roni

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heonymilktea · 4 years

Text

you make me (a teenager)

wc: 3.3k

warnings/genre: non-idol au, friends to lovers! au, angst, childhood best friends, break up, ex-lovers au, a possible part two

Preview:

“You're following your dream, why can't I follow mine?'

“Because my dream is here. Nowhere else.”

“Well my dream is there, and I'm following my dream. I didn't come here to ask for your permission Jaebum, I came here to tell you that I was leaving.”

Jaebum only silently watched as you got closer to the front door of his home— a door that you had gone through thousands of times during your friendship and relationship, stopping with your hand on the knob. He knew he was being childish— that he was being selfish, he had been so used to having you by his side every waking moment for what had seemed like his entire life, hearing that you would be leaving— to a whole different country on the other side of the world no less— had basically felt like he would be losing you.

“If you leave, don't come back.” Had been the last words you had heard your boyfriend, your best friend of basically your whole life, say to you.

You couldn’t deny the feeling you had gotten as soon as the plane had landed in the airport, the longing of your hometown had grown with each day you hadn’t been back, which meant that by the end of nearly seven years you had missed it like crazy. The warmth of the golden rays hitting your skin had only reminded you even more, missing the fact that it was sunny and warm for most of the year, adding the fact that your childhood home had been so close to the beach that the shore had practically been on the edge of your backyard.

Maybe you had to give Jisoo— your best friend and vice president— some sort of thank you present once you went back, after all it had been Jisoo who had forced you to take a vacation for the first time in your seven years of working as president of your company, but for now— you were going to enjoy the two weeks you had being here.

Your parents had been glad to hear that you were going to come back home for once, due to your workaholic tendencies it was usually them who were the ones to do the flying out to reunite as a family. As you settled back into your childhood room, your mom had filled you in on everything that had happened in the neighborhood— talking about how Mina and Jinwoo down the street had finally married and she was about four months away from from giving birth to their first baby, and how Mr. Tanaka and his family had moved away since he had gotten a promotion to a different office that would pay him much better. There had been someone you wanted to ask her about, but you had refrained yourself from even mentioning him.

She had all but pushed you out of the door once you were done, telling you to explore the town and see the changes that had been made in the time that you had been gone, though you hadn't exactly fought against it, you had been itching to become reacquainted with everything and possibly go to the beach ever since you had first step foot in the driveway.

So you did.

After a quick shower and change to more warm weather appropriate clothes. Even if spring had barely started here, it was much warmer than it had been back at— home. You didn’t really know whether you had called it your home yet, even if you had lived there for three years now, it had always felt like something had been missing, but no matter how much you had racked your brain for what that something could be, you couldn’t really place it. You know who, your heart had reminded you— maybe you had known but didn’t want to admit it just yet.

Pushing the thought away, you instead focused on the feeling of the sun against your skin, walking down the streets you remembered so easily and reminiscing about all the memories you made before you left, before things had changed. You had passed by your favorite bookstore, elated that it had still been here despite the years that had passed, the small shopping center that held your favorite arcade had expanded, new shops lined up and down the lot, you could see all the high school students that were probably on their spring break walking around with their friends— it all reminded you of when you were in their places, making you miss how things used to be before everything had changed.

But once again you had ignored the notion, changing your plans of re-exploring to finding what had once been your favorite coffee shop and spending the rest of the day at home. After you weaved through a couple of blocks having relied on your memory, you had finally made to the place you had been looking for— the quaint coffee shop had been tucked in a corner away from the overpopulated center of downtown, but it still had managed to gain its many loyal customers that dotted the patio of it, basking in the warmth of the spring day as they enjoyed their iced drinks.

A few minutes later, you had been just like one of them— minus the staying in the patio. The cool condensation of the cup felt refreshing against the warmth of your hand, and you had finally gotten the caffeine fix you had been needing all day. Though, your entire walk back home your mind had been occupied with thoughts of him— whether he had continued with his music, if his hair was still dyed light brown and styled up in a fohawk like it had been in high school when you last saw him, or if he still had those bulky headphones that had almost taken permanent residence around his neck.

Thoughts and memories had clouded your mind well after dinner, but you had told your mother it had been the jetlag finally catching up to you that caused the blank stare in your eyes. She shook her head, and ushered you to your room, that she would clean the plates with your father’s help, he only smiled at her, already taking the plates to the kitchen before telling you to wash up and sleep early.

You tried to, you really did— taking a nice bath with a bath bomb your mother had given you, placing a face mask after your extensive skincare routine, wearing your favorite pajamas that you had brung but you found yourself tossing and turning on the bed restlessly. You sat up in your bed, defeated, maybe catching up on some dramas that you had been meaning to watch could distract you (even though you secretly knew you would probably end up rewatching Goblin because it was your favorite), but before you could reach down to take your laptop out of your bag, a glimpse of your old polaroid camera had caught your eye the album where you saved all the pictures you took next to it. Climbing out of your bed, your hand glided over the leather front before bringing it with you back to bed.

Opening it, the first picture you had seen was you and Jaebum smiling up at the camera, roughly around the age of five, you had been in pigtails and a pink dress your mom picked out while he had been in a graphic t-shirt and shorts; it had been the day you met him, he had been the son of the neighbors that had just moved in next door. Like the extroverted child you were, you had immediately invited Jaebum to play in your backyard with you, his parents wanting him to settle in, pushed Jaebum to go and that had been the start of your friendship.

You stayed their in your bed, flipping through each page of the thick album binder, reliving all the memories that each and every picture brought— some had been of you, or you and your parents, a few of you and cousins, and some of your friends, but the ones of you and Jaebum had quickly outnumbered the others combined,

The last picture had only managed to make your smile falter, it had been taken right after you both had taken the CSAT— the exam that would determine basically your entire future depending on how well you did— you were both in your school uniforms, both worn out from the excruciatingly long and unforgiving exam, but the smiles of relief adorned both your faces, your arms had been wrapped around his middle as his wrapped around your shoulder. You remember that Jaebum had taken you out to ice cream not long after, also remembering that it had been taken about six months after he had officially asked you out and asked to be his girlfriend. Both of your parents had been insufferable when they found out, hounding at both of you how they had called it ever since you had become friends, that it had been only a matter of not if but when.

It only made you realize how quickly things can change, but at least you had the pictures to hold onto and relive the memories. You fell asleep with the album in your arms, even if you had wanted to move on and forget him, he was still in your heart seven years later. Instead of having a dream that night, it seemed like your mind had still been wrapped around him instead, making you relive through the last memory you had of him instead.

You had been wringing your hands for the past ten minutes, nervous about seeing Jaebum. Well not really nervous about seeing him, but having to tell him the news that you’ve had all morning and seeing his reaction to it. In five minutes, you would have to go over to his house (not like it was literally just next door or anything) and have your weekly movie night— a tradition that you had started long before you had become each other’s significant other, the only addition was that now you had been able to cuddle up to his side and sneak kisses between movies.

But instead of drawing it out further and only building up your uneasiness, you would tell him as soon as you went over. He had greeted you when he heard the doorbell ring, sneaking a quick peck before letting you come inside.

“Wait- before we sit down, I have something to tell you.”

He looked at you expectantly, letting you know that he was listening.

“Remember MILLIONS and their program I was talking to you about?”

As your boyfriend, he was probably the one that knew about the company the most out of all your friends, you had rambled about dreaming of working for them ever since the beginning of your first year of high school.

“I got accepted...”

“That’s good, but why do you look like your cat just died?”

“They offered me the scholarship and internship. The internship to work at their headquarters.”

“But their headquarters are in New York..” He had stated, though you could see the gears in his head turning as he was beginning to connect the dots.

You stayed silent, opting to look away from him as the guilt settled in even more. Though it wasn’t like you could do much about it at that point, you had been offered a scholarship and an internship to potentially become a graphic designer— at MILLIONS nonetheless which had been your absolute dream to work for, could you really give up such an offer?

“I thought you were going to stay here with me, remember the promise we made.”

“We made that promise at the beginning of middle school 'Beom, we were practically children. We weren't thinking of the future, much less of our careers. You're following your dream, why can't I follow mine?'

“Because my dream is here. Nowhere else.”

“Well my dream is there, and I'm following my dream. I didn't come here to ask for your permission Jaebum, I came here to tell you that I was leaving.”

“If you leave, don't come back.” Had been the last words you had heard your boyfriend, your best friend of basically your whole life, say to you.

You woke up to the sound of your phone relentlessly vibrating on top of your night stand, your hand reaching aimlessly til it felt the glass of the screen, your fingers wrapping around it before pulling it up to your ear, jerking away when it vibrated once again— it had only been an alarm to prevent you from sleeping the entire morning away. Now fully awake, you wished you could've completely shaken off the dream/memory— it had been seven years since it happened, it had been about five since you thought about him at all, why now?

Before you could dwindle on it further, you felt your stomach rumble, hungry to eat the first meal of the day— you were never one to skip out on breakfast since being the workaholic perfectionist you were meant that your hours at the office often meant that you’d skip a meal to get work done. Heading to the kitchen, you weren’t surprised to find your mom already there— humming to herself as she chopped some vegetables for the side dishes of breakfast, you could hear your dad humming outside the window, probably sitting on the porch reading the morning newspaper.

It had been a normal breakfast, your dad relaying the information of the newspaper he had read earlier while your mother and you sat listening and inputting your opinions every once in a while, and just like the day before she had shooed you away after you all had finished, telling you to actually visit the beach for once, since you hadn’t given yourself the opportunity to yesterday.

After having learnt that your favorite coffee shop was still open, you made your way to it first, your heart craving to have an iced matcha latte (plus you had to make the most of the two weeks you had here, you didn’t know exactly when would be the next time Jisoo would push you to take a mandatory vacation). It seemed like you were probably going to visit it every time you could, which probably meant a couple times a day if you had allowed yourself.

You were waiting inside the shop this time, opting to stay in the air conditioned room than outside on the patio in the warmth— you were going to stay in the sun for most of the day already, you really didn’t have to start now, at least at the beach you had the sea spray to help keep you cool. Your eyes wandered around the different people as you waited, startled to cross eyes with the person you had least expected to see— Im Jaebum.

You hadn’t really thought you would’ve run the possibility of running into him, even though you knew that he was still living here— but it was a big neighborhood in an even bigger city, the chances had been so slim. But here you were, your feet glued to the ground as you saw him approach you. You never really imagined what you would say to him if you ever saw him after the incident— he had made it very clear to you that he no longer wanted anything to do with you, going as far as blocking your number and all your accounts of any social media that you shared. You had stopped trying to reach him, if he really wanted nothing to do with you then you wouldn’t waste your time— uni classes and the internship had already consumed most of it. And after gaining a new friend group, you forgot about him almost completely by the end of your first year.

Now, after seven years, he was the one coming to you. It looks like all the questions you had had the night before were answered though— his hair was back to its natural onyx color and much longer than before, the ends just barely grazing his chin, the earphones were absent from their purchase on his neck, replaced with wireless ones that were in their case on his keys. You knew he had always been handsome, but you hadn’t really expected him to get this handsome, if you had known him, you would’ve probably had a crush on him. But you couldn’t let him come to you like nothing had happened, he had broken your heart twice over— as your ex-boyfriend and as your ex-best friend.

“I didn’t know you came back.” Jaebum had approached you.

When he saw you, he felt himself revert back to the high schooler he used to be, remembering all the time you both had spent together before he had gone and ruined it all. He had been selfish, he had been extremely stupid, but most of all he had been scared. Scared of losing you to people he didn’t know, that maybe you would find someone to replace him and he would be left behind without you.

He didn’t know how his messed up teen logic had come to the conclusion of pushing you away would stop you from leaving, but by the time he had realized that he had made the biggest mistake in his life, you had already gone, you had given up on reaching out to him basically disappearing from existence apart from the occasional update he got from his mother who had gotten it from your mom.

You were beautiful, much more beautiful than before— sure you had been pretty in high school, he was the lucky one to date you then, but you were shy (middle school does that to you) and cared a lot more about your studies than your looks. There had been an air around you now, you held yourself differently than the last time he had seen you— you were more sure of yourself and made your presence known whenever you came into the room.

“Why would you? You had been the one to tell me not to,” you scoffed, almost turning your nose up at him— was that really the best he could come up with?

Your words stung him, but they had been right, and as much as he wanted to go back to the past and slap some sense into his high school self, he couldn’t.

“Can we talk? Please?” His fingers reaching out to hold your arm.

“You’ve missed your chances of talking, Jaebum. You have no right to anymore,” you pulled your arm out of his reach as if his touch had burned your skin.

“I know, but I want to apologize—”

“It’s too late to. I don’t care about hearing an apology from you,” You had taken your drink and tried to leave, but he had followed right behind you.

“Please Y/n—”

“Listen Jaebum. You were the one that told me to not come back if I left. You’re the one that ignored all my calls and texts for nearly two months, you avoided me completely on social media and whenever I tried to talk to you after talking to your parents. I was the one crying and begging for forgiveness to your voicemail. All you had to do was answer, all you had to do was listen. Listen to me say that even despite going to MILLIONS was my dream, you were also my dream.

But you didn’t, so I stopped trying. You think it didn’t hurt me? To lose you? Yes you were my boyfriend, but you had also been my best friend, the one person that I had relied on through everything. I had no one there, no one to talk to, but you know what? I pushed myself to move on, I did move on. Now so should you.” You took a step back and smoothed your hair out, having finally released all your pent up feelings. “You made the decision, I only acted accordingly. So, please don’t look for me.”

And so you left.

The only thing Jaebum could do was watch as your figure disappeared down the street and around the corner, knowing that he had lost you for good.

#got7 #got7 imagines #got7 scenarios #got7 fanfic #got7 angst #im jaebum angst #im jaebum imagines #jaebum angst #jaebum x reader #jae writes

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stellacolletore · 4 years

Text

08.21.2020

though i would hide it, in my face it still appears (it is true i love) anime: chihayafuru characters: oe kanade, mashima taichi/ayase chihaya summary: with a love like theirs, Kanade’s sure Taichi and Chihaya will be alright. note: covers the events from season 1 (had to rewatch a looot, taichi/kana brotp still the best), seasons 2&3, and my post-queen’s match headcanon (see 7 wonders of mizusawa for details)

President Mashima swipes block over the stalker’s number, and suddenly, Kanade feels things fall into place.

He’s in love with Chihaya-chan.

There isn’t enough room for celebrating her newfound discovery as she laments over the fact that she’s the only one around with eyes that see this. Ergo, she’s the only one who would be knowingly standing along the sidelines, watching wherever the depths of love would take two of her dearest friends. Surely, there’s nothing more frustrating for a lovestruck girl than that.

Chihaya-chan gapes at her phone, totally lost on the purpose behind Prez’s gesture. Kanade sighs.

This love will really take its sweet time, won’t it?

ii.

He’s just won his most important match to date and still, they find him only thinking of her.

“Chihaya, get up. Let’s go,” Prez is tugging Chihaya-chan’s limp arm, voice tinged with unusual urgency. Dazed at the turn of events, Kanade’s mind is unable to make sense of what’s happening in front of her. The match had gone most unexpectedlyーopening with Prez effectively losing the unnerving level of concentration that has kept him unbeatable throughout four straight games, continuing with the tension (and fault)-filled Class B finals that kept her, Chihaya-chan, and Hanano-san on edge until the last card, and ending with him donning a worried expression in place of a happy one after reaching the long-elusive Class A title.

Her inner voice spells the situation out for her.

He’s taking her to Wataya-san. Prez thinks Chihaya-chan’s been watching the wrong match, the wrong boy, all along.

That certainly explains the oddly messy game he played with Yamamoto-san.

But that’s not right.

Kanade’s about to shake him out of his self-sacrificing behavior when Chihaya-chan beats her to it.

“Omedetou, Taichi. Y-You’re Class A now. Congratulations.”

Like mirror, President Mashima’s eyes reflect Chihaya-chan’s glassy ones. Euphoria washes over him as he finally acknowledges his achievement. Kanade wishes she could capture the moment like a photograph, could mark it in long-lasting verses of poetry.

See, Prez? She cares for you just as much. It’s Wataya-san’s big match, too, but she’s only thought of you.

iii.

Prez is playing the game with his heart on the line, and finally, she’s looking at him.

Hanano-san sees this, too. Beside her, Kanade once again admires her kouhai’s pure love, steadfast in the face of heartbreak. It bears the same signature as the President’s, and a twinge of bittersweet feeling swirls in Kanade’s heart. She prays for Hanano-san’s own happiness before bringing back her attention towards the final and most personal match of the Yoshino tournament, sincerely hoping.

Please keep looking, Chihaya-chan. He’s there because of you. President Mashima’s made it there because he loves you.

iv.

When President Mashima leaves the club, he takes a part of Chihaya-chan with him.

Kanade’s well-aware of what it is, and so she picks up the fallen microphone on the ground, abandoned in the wake of Chihaya-chan rushing out after him. Even though she’s equally left in the dark about Prez’s decision, she understands. That is why, with tears brimming in her eyes, Kanade holds the microphone to her lips, wills her voice not to waver.

You can leave this to us, she thinks, it’ll be alright.

Needless to say, things are the opposite of alright after that, and soon enough, Chihaya-chan parted ways with the club as well.

Doubt, fear, and helplessness cloud over the remaining members of the Mizusawa Karuta Club now that their sun and moon are missing. Still, Kanade learns to find comfort in the fact that the string of fate tied between President Mashima and Chihaya-chan won’t easily give way.

A wave of loneliness sweeps her with the chilly night air on the road home. Kanade draws warmth from a poem that sympathizes with her deepest hope of the moment:

Swift waters Parted by jagged rocks Are joined By the river’s end.

Chihaya-chan is a formidable force, poise unbent and passion blazing just as strongly, even in the middle of unmet promises and a missing loved one.

She pulls them in the classic team huddle. And talks about the fear and the hope she’s been avoiding since he walked out on the club and out of her life.

“Mashima Taichi, a person who made the karuta club with me, quit the team, but… I believe he will be back someday, maybe years later, or tens of years later. In the meantime, I will become the queen. And...while I wait for him, I will make Mizusawa into a karuta powerhouse like Hokuo Academy…”

The karuta she plays against Wataya-san is one they’ve never seen before, but feels inexplicably familiar.

It takes Kanade a remainder of the match to realize why.

Poem 16.

vi.

President Mashima comes back to fight for the place closest to Chihaya-chan.

In the end, the match went in Wataya-san's favor; leaving everybody in tears at President Mashima’s defeat and Wataya-san’s sincere display of gratitude at the Prez’s valiant effort in playing karuta.

Kanade just dried her own tears off when she turned towards Chihaya-chan. “P-President Mashima gave it his all, did he not, Chihaya-ch…”

At the sight of the girl before her weeping with strong, bitter tears, Kanade’s thoughts come to a halting stop, untilー

If her tears are indeed for President Mashima,

Then he may just have reached the place closest to Chihaya-chan after all.

vii.

Nobody could believe it.

Chihaya-chan is going for the win, as if she hadn’t been on the brink of losing two matches ago. Taking Wataya-san’s advice of entering her own “arena”, Chihaya-chan played the third and fourth games as Mizusawa’s Ace, pushing the limits of her hard-earned skills and natural talents to get cards for her team. Kanade feels honored to be a part of Chihaya-chan’s strength.

Chihaya-chan swipes the last card at Wakamiya-san’s formation, and just like that, they’re down on the luck of the draw.

Kanade checks the two remaining cards on Chihaya-chan’s side.

No way.

There are a hundred cards in karuta, a hundred poems in Hyakunin Isshu, and yet those two cards remained. If this isn’t fate, Kanade doesn’t know what it is.

Kanade looks over at Wataya-san, watching Chihaya-chan’s match after claiming the Meijin title a game ago, and her suspicion is confirmed. The se card belongs to Wataya-san.

And, of course, the tachi card is Mashima-kun’s.

This is more than sending a card, Kanade realizes.

Fate is asking Chihaya-chan to choose.

She remembers a strategy Chihaya-chan has always followed as Harada-sensei’s star pupil.

“Since I’m an offensive karuta player, I would send my special cards to my opponent, and it’s because I want to get some things badly that I would part with them. And I would go into the fight with the resolve to get them no matter what.”

Chihaya-chan moves to pick up a card.

“Challenger Ayase-san sends ‘tachi wakare’...”

viii.

“‘Let’s play karuta forever, Taichi’ーSince when?! Ayase-senpai, since when did you like Mashima-senpai? What do you just mean by ‘play’? Is it play, play or play as in let’s date and get married and live happily everーhmhm, mph!” Kanade cuts off Hanano-san’s tirade, noting Chihaya-chan’s rapidly reddening cheeks and startled eyes. “Hanano-san, shouldn’t you congratulate your senpai before anything else?”

Hanano-san recovers quickly enough, her own cheeks flushed in embarrassment, and says, “Omedetou, Ayase-senpai. You’re incredible.”

Chihaya-chan merely blinks at them in reply, and Kanade’s instantly worried that her brain has gone haywire after being cornered with Hanano-san’s frank questions. She lays a comforting hand on Chihaya-chan’s arm, thinking about what to say to divert her attention. “Chihaya-chan, Harada-san’s waiting at the break room for you. Shiranami Society’s already throwing a party there, why don’t we goー”

“I just don’t want him to disappear again.” Chihaya-chan’s looking straight at Hanano-san, a mixture of desperation and determination swirling in her eyes. “Apart from chiha, the card that I won’t absolutely let go of is tachi. I want to show him how much I want to get to him by sending and getting the card butー” her eyes start to glisten, her voice shaky, “ーbut he didn’t see me, didn’t he? He’s not here, he’sー”

“Chihaya-chan,” Kanade tries to conjure a warm, reassuring tone. “Don’t worry. If he hadn’t seen youーwhich I highly doubtーthen you’ve just got to show him again, right? You’re an offensive player, Chihaya-chan, I’m sure you won’t give up without a fight.”

Thankfully, those words are enough to quell Chihaya-chan’s despair. She fixes her posture, her resolve following suit, and her eyes twinkle with a newfound passion. She smiles, “Thank you, Kana-chan, Sumire-chan.”

Kanade beams. President Mashima might have been MIA as of the moment, and Wataya-san is fast approaching with a look that tells he’s about to have a long, overdue talk with Chihaya-chan, but it’s all right.

With a love like theirs, Kanade’s sure Taichi and Chihaya will be alright.

#chihayafuru #taichihaya #kanade oe #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #kanade best wingwoman #come talk chihayafuru with me!#also posted on ao3

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awkwardplant · 3 years

Text

Sci-fi/Misc Short Story: Diorama

Weary travellers entered a building to escape from the zombies that had been chasing them. Night-time drew closer and only a little bit of sunlight filtered through the large dusty windows at either side of the room. Despite the dust, everything here looked pristine, unsurprising as it didn't seem the materials here were much use to survivalists.

"Is that an easel?" Johnny the Veterinarian wandered over to the contraption, lifting away a greyed cloth covering it, revealing a canvas with a few marks of brown oil pastels.

A younger member of the team who refered to himself as the Tailor (everyone else called him Ed, or the Cosplay Guy, or That Teenager) dove into some drawers and boxes. "Please tell me there's a non electrical sewing machine, or fabrics, ooh I'll even take sequins at this point! Anything I don't have to make from scratch."

"Don't think this type of place will have those kinda things, Ed. Looks like a kindergarten's arts and crafts room." said Johnny. "Might have glitter though."

Paul the Farmer rolled his eyes at his group. "No point lookin round 'ere, let's settle down, find somethin soft, and kip for the night." He shrugged off his backpack which carried the all the bare essentials it could hold, and popped his spine with a groan. "Food chain these days is all outta whack I tell ye."

At the entrance, Melissa the Engineer boarded up the door with some convenient planks of wood, nails, and a hammer she carried everywhere. "Oughta keep them out. Phew. Bit cold in here isn't it?"

Melissa's daughter, Isla the six year old, stood in the middle of the art studio, eyes filled with wonder at all the creations. Clay sculptures of graceful torsos, pencil drawings of still lifes that looked more or less exactly like the sketches, completed oil paintings of landscapes hung on the wall next to colorful, abstract ones.

Isla spied a light still on behind a door to another room left slightly ajar. "I see a light, do you think someone lives here?"

All the adults tensed and raised their weapons, eyes peering in the direction Isla curiously tiptoed towards. Paul hissed at her to slow down, firmly grabbing her shoulder and pulling her back behind him as he stared ahead. The air was silent aside from the floorboard's weak groans that sounded like a sigh of relief at the return of humans gracing its surface.

Johnny tapped lightly on the door which opened without any creaks or spooky noises, and revealed a warm orange glow of a desk lamp. The desk was cluttered with tiny objects you would expect to see at much bigger sizes such as doors and furniture. Several drawers of multiple sizes surrounded and sat on the desk filled to the brim with paints, glue, craft knives and other materials. A single mug rested on a green cutting board with some stale coffee inside.

Isla squeaked in delight as she darted across the room. "Mommy! There's dollhouses here!"

Melissa strode towards her daughter, blinking in surprise when seeing there was in fact what appeared to be multiple dollhouses meticulously displayed in glass cases on many shelves.

"Some strange looking dollhouses," Ed said. "Why would a kid want to play with a dollhouse that looks like a swamp?" He tilted his head, narrowing his eyes at the minature shack on stilts that sat atop fake greenery and resin water.

Paul chuckled. "And this ane's even got tiny critters from my farm! Now tell me that isnae just the spittin image of my wee goat." He tapped the glass of a mini farm with toy animals placed in the field.

"I think, uh..." Johnny clicked his fingers, brow furrowing. "I swear I remember... Ah well, I don't know the proper name of them but I've seen train sets that have these kind of things, do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah!" Melissa chirped. "This is how they used to make movie sets isn't it? Because back then they didn't have CGI to make places they couldn't afford to go to when filming."

"And humanity has reverted back to that time period." sighed Ed, who greatly missed his Friday night Star Wars rewatches with his friends. "Maybe even further back than that. Losing the internet was like losing the Library of Alexandria."

All of them wandered around the shelves to look at all the miniature sets. Mountains formed purely by plastic foam, a landscape of a picnic inside an open altoid tin, a greenhouse cluttered with plants no bigger than a pinkie finger. Some miniatures sat on the floor, the ones that were massive compared to the other sets yet still very tiny versions of medieval castles and gothic architecture.

Melissa stopped in front of a small library room that had holes in the ceiling with trees growing beneath them, books and furniture meticulously littered everywhere. Flashbacks to her days studying in her hometown's library filled her mind.

"This is what they thought the apocalypse would look like." she said, with tears welling up in her eyes. "They thought- they- they made art of stuff like this because they imagined it would look beautiful. How could they romanticise such disaster?"

Johnny walked up next to her, crouching down to see inside the library. "Hauntingly beautiful, maybe. I do remember certain types of people were fascinated with the idea of nature reclaiming the lands that humans built on."

"And that idea was dumb," said Paul. "Because now the deer are overpopulated and they destroyed the forests, and who knows what other animals are causing chaos without conservationists."

"There are pros and cons to everything that happens." Johnny replied. "But yes, it doesn't help that the handful of humans that are left don't know how to handle this... resurgence of nature."

Isla looked around, peering back through the door to the main room of the art studio. "This library dollhouse looks just like real life doesn't it? It's like we're little dolls too."

Melissa smiled sadly, stroking her daughter's hair. "It does put things in perspective." She hoped things would settle down enough for her to be able to teach Isla things she had learned in school at her age.

"The Earth is the size of a pinprick compared to the sun and we're all just ants in the grand scheme of things." Ed said, and one could guess he was trying to imagine how small he was compared to the Starkiller base.

Paul snorted. "But bigger than regular old ants and smart enough to put together nicknacks that make ladies cry." He nudged Melissa teasingly.

Eventually, the group finally realized that the lamp was connected to a solar powered generator with a back up of energy reserved and they attempted to recharge their walkie talkies. After a few near-electrocutions, they finally connected to a radio station broadcasting a rather laid back distress signal.

"This is DJ Smooth calling out to anyone, God, just anyone out there, from the abandoned military base in Alconbury. Been out here for uh, 3 months now, there's not been any zombie sightings for a while and I have been sooo bored. Come find me and we can hang out, maybe fight over my remaining supplies so I can remember how to feel something that isn't dissociation. Stay tuned after this music break for the co-ordinates to my location, and my heart. See ya soon cuties. Over."

Later that night everyone created some makeshift beds out of the cloths that had covered some artworks and easels, which Ed would repurpose at some point during their travels to make some new socks. They all lay on their backs in the dark, close to each other to conserve warmth. If there were any zombies outside they didn't hear them, only the rush of wind and rain pattering on the windows.

"Mommy," Isla whispered. "I liked the song that the man on the radio played."

"Yeah sweetie, I liked it too. It was... something from the 90's? I think? Probably not age appropriate but you didn't understand it so it's fine, I guess. Something funny to look back on one day."

Isla rolled over onto her stomach to look at her mom. "When we go back to Paul's farm I want to play the guitar we found."

"We can't go... Tell you what Isla, we'll go see the music man from the radio, and he'll help us cure the zombies, and then we can get everyone an instrument and all make music together."

"Yes! That's a good idea!"

"And we can do plays in theatres and make movies again." Ed added shyly.

"Movies that don't involve zombies and will make us forget this shitshow ever happened." Johnny sighed, unable to close his eyes and dreading the nightmares.

Paul growled and hushed the others, but then he said "Doesnae matter if zombies are out for us and we've got no artsy stuff, we can still sing."

They all sang Country Roads quietly (Isla could only sing the chorus yet sang with such sincerity), with gentle echoes of their melody bouncing off the walls of the art studio until they fell asleep.

The next day they left to find the military base and made up new songs along the way, with renewed and desperate hope that they might find a cure for the zombies someday soon.

The end.

#zombie apocalypse #writing #vignette #original fiction #short story #drabble #science fiction #slice of life

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thatcomesandstaysfire · 4 years

Text

So I know I missed the Catching Fire rewatch (and The Hunger Games rewatch...oops) but I finally have a chance to sit down and watch CF. I’m just gonna put every little thing that pops into my head here...sorry in advance

- That depiction of her ptsd? *chef kiss*

- It’s kind of dumb that they set that first Gale kiss inside the fence. I just remember my reaction reading when Snow said he knew about the kiss that took place outside the fence. Like, oh shit how much do they know? Is there anywhere that is safe?!

- Haymitch would be good at baseball

- Peeta’s Glow-up yall! Too bad they put him in some of the stupidest outfits

- Donald Sutherland and Jennifer Lawrence are soooo good in the office scene

- I kinda wish they included her mom drawing her bath and adding the dried flowers.

Peeta: That was nice acting

Katniss: You too

Peeta: bruh

- when that peacekeeper realized the door was open

- seriously what is that sweater, peeta?

- oo yay their favorite colors

- its scenes like ^ this one, or any direct quotes really, that make me disconnect a bit because Jen (especially) and Josh are NOT Katniss and Peeta for me. Idk dude

- district eleven guts me. so well done! and when Haymitch hugs and katniss, and says it will be alright, but all she can see is the older man’s corpse being carried away!! perfectly sets up how helpless and dangerous it all is.

- “Will you stay with me?” “always” still a little salty we didn’t get this scene after the tour when she injures her foot, and we get the “I didn’t quite catch it.” The pay-off from that in Mockingjay made me flip, it hurt so bad.

- Honestly still salty about how many Everlark they cut.

- “Everyone wears [their hair] like this now, Grandpa” Do you think the did this to deliberately call out crazed (superficial) fans by saying they’re just like the capitol. We’ll wear your hairstyle and obsess over your love story while ignoring the real message.

- Caesars FACE during the proposal! Stanley Tucci was excellent casting

- ooo gales grumpy

- Cant get over that random capitol extra that touches Jen’s shoulder during the party at Snows mansion

- “All mahogany” brilliant

- I wish they’d kept peeta’s original line from the books when they’re told about the liquid that makes you puke. “You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they’re not so bad, and then you-” which leads to the “maybe we were wrong, katniss” It’s such an important moment! But in the movie, Peeta’s line “there are people starving and twelve and here..” doesn’t have the same revelation or same rebelliousness too it.

- Phillip Seymour Hoffman does a great job, but the whole characterization of Plutarch in the movies is way off for me.

- This movie is really dropping in a bunch of small pieces of fan service that were lacking from the first one. The Hob gets mentioned, and now we see Ripper. Not like only-movie viewers will get that.

- I wish we had Peeta protecting Katniss from seeing Gales whipping like in the books. Peeta’s kindness and self-less love for Katniss are perfectly communicated through that entire event, and in the movie, we only really get a glimpse.

- I HATE that they made Ms. Everdeen basically incapable of healing and had Prim take over. I get it, Prim is underdeveloped but you don’t need to take away one of the few things Katniss admires about her mother in order to make Prim more likable

- aw puppy dog peeta

- oof I am not a fan of Willow Shields acting. It’s so flat.

Katniss: What do you see

Prim: o_o hope

- I will never not be mad at haymitch for the “thousand lifetimes” line

- Ugh! I know that gale kiss before the reaping was supposed to communicate (I guess?) that Katniss chose gale and shes saying goodbye or whatever, but ugh i hate it. It is unnecessary

- That one slip of paper in the bowl still kills me. I remember people laughing in the theaters.

- aw effies face

Prim: o_o Katniss! Katniss

- white t-shirt, black jacket peeta. unf he looks like a greaser. One of the few good outfits they put him in.

- Sugar cube scene - FLAWLESS. I love Sam Claflin

- Jena Malone is exactly how I pictured johanna

- Also “Katniss’” reaction to Peeta agree to unzip, hilarious, but that is all Jen.

- Wiress, Beetee, and Mags are also really good casting

- PEETA WHAT ARE THOSE PANTS?? (you all know they ones I’m talking about)

- The Rue painting? the Seneca beard on the dummy? the bow? Excellent

- “If it wasn’t for the baby”..... then that smirk! Then haymitch’s lil cheers! its soo good. Also josh’s little trot up the stairs in his little white boots? hilarious.

- Haymtich’s nipples...that is all

- “remember who the real enemy is”

- Pissed we didn’t get an everlark quick during the breif “see you soon” scene before the quell

Snow: Look at them holding hands. I want them dead

Plutarch: Be Patient

Snow: bitch what did you say to me

- NOOO CINNAAA

- Goddamn that entrance into the arena! the way its shot is so disorienting and overwhelming. Well done Francis.

- Peeta’s got a kill under belt folks!

- “Gods it’s hot” yes you are

- Finnick you cheeky bastard

- What i wouldn’t give to be Finnicks elderly backpack

- That snotty kiss after the force field. Katniss trembling. Finnick’s look of realization. I do wish they included the line about “It’s probably her hormones” though.

- Its a SPILE!!!

- the gasping, moaning and groaning when they’re drinking water/when they’re treating their boils from the fog--- so suggestive, i can’t

- Peeta ended quite a few monkeys, how can yall say he’s weak

- Peeta easing the morphing while she dies is a very well done scene and it is shot beautifully, but it would’ve been so much better with the direct lines from the book. It's so much gentler and lovelier.

- Where is the green ointment? Where are the childish shenanigans??

- Katniss and Wiress are CUTE!!

- missed out on yet another everlark moment after the cornucopia spins

- YYOO the jabberjay scene is so intense! And peeta pushing his head against the force field, look so helpless to get to katniss breaks my little heart

- BEACH SCENE!!!!

- Lol plutarchs little “make yourself comfortable” while we know he’s off to his hovercraft.

- See you at midnight----So that was a lie

- Just a comment but Jen’s hair in every scene in the arena looks so good.

- “REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS” she’s got it folks

- Snow is STUNNED

- Jesus motif - katniss is legit T-posing in the hovercraft claw

- the scene katniss attacks haymitch and then being subdued is perfection. THE DRAMA

- that extended closeup at the end, where we see the RANGE of emotions that crosses her face, i just, Jen is really talented.

Verdict: Haymitch’s nipples

But for real, CF is my favorite movie in the series. It’s not perfect, but as a movie ADAPTATION, it's pretty great.

#thgmovies #this is really long #oops

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wouldduskwood · 3 years

Text

Descendants of Despair Part 46

As I struggled to hold the remaining pieces of myself together, I was vaguely aware that Jake was still beside me. His voice was gentle and soothing, though I couldn’t make out what he was saying. I’d never admitted need for anything before...let alone anyone. Even when I was at school and they’d given me lunches...I never admitted just how much I needed the food...even on a Monday where sometimes I hadn’t eaten since school lunch on Friday. Admitting need meant that I was at the mercy of someone. It meant that I had to fully trust that person with my deepest hurts. I knew I had that with Jake...but admitting it out loud in the state I was in...that completely lowered any defenses I had left. Relying on him so heavily could be my complete downfall...yet I needed someone to help me. To share some of my burden. I’d been through a lifetime of trials and disappointments that it just seemed too much without someone to tell me it was okay and to help me find a solution. I didn’t want to ever feel alone again.

Suddenly, I found my body being lifted from the ground and pulled onto Jake’s lap. “I’m not going anywhere. Sorry that was incredibly insensitive of me. I was only thinking about my own need to protect you, not the fact that you needed me here more than anything. I should have listened,” he whispered in my ear, breaking through my own thoughts as his hand stroked my face. I curled in closer to his body, thankful that he had stayed. That my trust in him had been completely justified. After a few moments in his calming embrace, I decided we had to move forward. “I trust you,” I mumbled. “Only you.” Jake wrapped me tighter for a brief moment. “You want to get started, don’t you?” he asked softly. I nodded against his body.

“Okay, so we start scrolling through camera footage?” Jake asked as he helped me stand. “Yeah, from what I could see on their monitors, the cameras change angles every 10 seconds or so. I imagine where one camera leaves off, another is positioned to take its place so nothing is really missed for too long.” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. Jake nodded. “Okay, let’s see what we can find...uh...is there...uh.” he paused, looking at me with wide eyes. I sighed, understanding what he was getting at without him having to ask. “The clothing was unremarkable. Probably typical of anyone that didn’t want to be picked out of a crowd. The one thing I did notice is that they wore sunglasses and a cap to obscure their face. They also kept their head down when they saw me spot them. I imagine they put these on when they were already on the building...as wearing them on the street may have been enough to draw attention when the weather is still pretty bad. The cameras may have picked up on their face.” I suggested, without too much hope. Whoever had been tracking us was smart enough to avoid our traps and remain hidden until I was in a position of vulnerability. That spoke of organisation...not a rushed impulse job.

I knew Jake would hear the note of doubt in my voice, but it was still the best chance we had at the moment. “Okay we start with the prison footage. They must have been keeping watch to know when you were in the building...possibly even to know when you’d left. If that fails, we go to CCTV in the area. That will take me a bit longer to get but it may give us some additional clues.” Jake was about to lead me through to his set up when he paused. “It’s going to take us a while. How about we get some food and drinks before going?” he suggested. The very suggestion caused me to smile weakly. It was almost as though he had read my thoughts from earlier. Taking care of my needs as well as his own without me even having to suggest it. I nodded thankfully and together we made some sandwiches and grabbed some bottles of water before moving to his set up with heavy footsteps. We both knew we were in for a long sitting of staring at screens and analysing minute details.

Jake booted up his system and took care of checking our home footage first. “We may have to move on from here, if we have been tailed,” he sighed. We had both known our time here would be limited, but being forced out this early was a pain. “There’s nothing obvious on the footage, so we should be okay for at least a while here, but as soon as we spot anything...we should make plans to go.” I nodded, thankful for his once again cool head.

Jake split the camera angles on several screens. “You did well,” he murmured as he loaded each one. “Okay here is the footage from each camera from before I wiped them out. We will try these first then go to when they were back online. Of course there is a high chance that the person managed to escape detection...if they knew the cameras were out of commission.” I nodded thoughtfully as I refined the list of suspects in my head. If they knew the cameras were out, then it could be Alan Bloomgate. He would likely have access to this prison as it appeared that is where Duskwood prisoners were sent - but surely with a whole station under his command, and other police officers that wouldn’t question him for a second...then surely he would have just trapped me while I was inside the building? We couldn’t afford to make unfounded assumptions. If we were working off the wrong theory, we would have the wrong motive and therefore would likely misjudge the next movements the person would make.

Surveillance may seem like something exciting. Certainly, many movies and tv shows make it seem like an exceptional feat of engineering. What it actually was, however, was pouring over footage or waiting long periods of time for something to happen, often holding in the need to go to the bathroom in case you missed something important and had to start over. We were in much the same boat, pouring over footage, avoiding any form of distraction while we looked for possible clues. Jake concentrated all of his nervous energy into the task, pausing, rewinding and rewatching portions of videos to track the movements of individuals. I was less methodical, searching instead for anything I recognised instantly as belonging to the person that I had seen on the roof. This was partially due to the doubt that I’d see anything at all, and partially because my mind wasn’t quite up to the intensive micro detailing at the moment.

“Okay, the next sets are from after I reinstated the system.” Jake stated as he loaded more camera views. As I flicked through my views, I suddenly stopped in horror. “Jake…” I stammered. He was at my screen in seconds, looking at the image. He had wanted to be seen. For us to know he was in charge. Of course he had. The man without a face, his mask faced directly at one of the cameras just moments after they had been back online. If the staff hadn’t arrived back in the room when they did, I would have spotted him. If Jake hadn’t been concerned about getting me out, he would have too. “Fuck,” Jake cursed.

Part 47

#duskwood jake x #duskwood jakexplayer #duskwood jake x player #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood fanfic #duskwood jakexmc fanfic #duskwood #duskwood jakexmc #fanfiction #fanfic #jakexmc #duskwood jake #hackerman

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venus-says · 5 years

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Symphogear GX Episodes 01-04

Keep on fighting, until your life meets its end.

The third part of the Symphogear marathon is here! And boy I almost missed today because today was way more busy thanSundayday was supposed to be.

Sadly because of that my plan of watching 5 episodes today wasn’t possible, but we sill have 4 episodes to go through regardless of that so LET’S GO!

Seilien coffin Airgetlám tron

So, Episode 1 starts great, the excitement I had watching Hibiki, Tsubasa and Chirs trying to save the spaceship was exactly the same I had when I watched for the first time. Like they destroyed part of a fucking mountain, it doesn’t get any cooler that that. XD

I also like the moments that show the aftermath of last season, they didn’t give us all the information just in this episode, but it’s fine I rather doing this way than having thousands of flashback montages filled with boring exposition. Though I feel like we’re missing a little something here because the break from the school to Chirs’ house (that is a very good looking place, I'd love to live there) was a little abrupt.

But you know what? Nothing of that matters because we got probably the best live scene from this show EVER after it. Yes, the drawing in some parts is kinda wonky, BUT WHO CARES??? Everything else is so magnificent. Their outfits, their hairstyle, the song is incredible and OMG THAT STAGE, the way everything works in there is just “WOW”. If I was a singer, I would use all of my money to make a stadium near the sea or a lake just to make that opening part with the sunset in the background. Gorgeous, just gorgeous.

Regarding the villains, I think the alchemists are cool, I love the concept of the Autoscorers and is a good change of pace having “likable” villains after having to cope with Ver for 12 episodes.

One last thing about this one, I like how they already shone a light on Hibiki and her issues with her dad right at the beginning because from what II remember fatherly figures are a great deal this time around.

In general, great way to start a season.

Episode 2 keeps in the same line as the first one and is also a great episode, maybe not as good as the last, but still great.

Here we have more of the aftermath of last season, which again I like how things are spread out, this time being more focused on the ex-FIS girls, mainly Maria and her agreement to keep doing idol activities while on custody to keep the past events in control under the blanket, which is very interesting because it creates personal conflicts to them this season.

Like I mentioned in a couple of paragraphs before, we already have conflicts around dads showing up, Carol is in pain because of the mission her father has left while Hibiki is in pain because her father never left her anything. Again symphogear bringing villains who are parallels to their protagonists. I like this pattern.

But I think the stronger point of this episode was the cliffhanger at the end, at first when they showed noise I was disappointed because you know noises a third time, is kinda boring. But they gave an old monster a new twist and it worked very well, that cliffhanger fulfill it’s purpose and I had to watch the next one right away.

Episode 3 slows down the thing a little bit.

Sadly the cliffhanger from the last episode kinda goes to waste since the action gets cut off before things get even more serious, but regardless the feel of “we’re screwed” still remains now that two of the relics are damaged, and Kirika and Shirabe conversation while saving Chirs somehow makes things even gloomier.

This I believe is one of the reasons why Hibiki starts doubting herself like never before and this culminates in the end when Gungnir stops reacting to Hibiki. She’s way too self-conscious and she loses the will, the resolve to fight because she doesn’t wanna hurt people and so Gungnir rejects her. Or at least this is what I believe happened. I personally don’t understand why is Hibiki being so reluctant now since she looked to be okay with it at the end of the last season, but it is a new conflict so I’m okay with it, we’re only 3 episodes in and we already have seeds to blossom in various characters’ arks and I really appreciate this

One last thing before going to the last episode of this batch, what the hell was the point of that beef stroganoff song???????? Gosh, that was cringy.

Wrapping things up with Episode 4,

This episode starts great, I love the way Hibiki’s friend gets them “out” of that situation, it was both smart and funny as hell.

The highlight is, of course, Hibiki but I have a lot of issues here. First, the way she freaked out when Maria was able to use Hibiki’s Gungnir. I expected, from the mindset that Hibiki had been lately, she would give up on Gungnir saying that she doesn’t feel like she’s worthy. But she gets very possessive like a kid who doesn’t want to land their toys, and what tickles me more is that she says Gungnir was gifted to her to protect people and protect only, implying that at the moment Maria was hurting someone when in reality she was protecting both Hibiki and her friends so... this makes me scratch my head.

I wish we could’ve gone for a little longer without Hibiki being able to transform, but I guess they need to introduce the Ignite Modules soon since this was the new gimmick they wanted to push out so, not a big deal but are these little things that when added together make this the worse episode of the pack.

But in summary, GX has a beginning that’s way stronger than what G had going on for it and I’m hyped to rewatch the rest of this season..

#Senki Zesshou Symphogear GX #Symphogear GX #symphogear

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head-and-heart · 6 years

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The 100 Highlights - “Acceptable Losses” (5x07)

Hey guys!

I’m back to do my highlight recap of episode 5x07, “Acceptable Losses”, written by Jeff Vlaming. I am really happy to say that I enjoyed this episode a significant amount more than I did the previous one, and I’m really excited to dig into it with this post.

If you would like to view my other highlight posts you can do so here.

“She was shot, Marcus. Octavia Blake killed her - not me.”

^ Okay so I want to start of this post by talking about this line from Abby because I honestly think its really important. The fact that Kane was sort of implying that Abby was responsible for that girls death was really rubbing me the wrong way because, like, yes: maybe, if Abby was well, she would have been able to save the girl. But you can’t get a drug addict to fix themselves just by asking them to. And you can’t expect them to be able to fix other people too. As much as Abby may want to stop, that’s not how it works. I don’t think anyone should be blaming Abby for the death of that girl. It shouldn’t have even been Abby’s responsibility to treat her, to be honest. Jackson is a doctor, too. And he’s in a way better condition to handle that kind of situation at the moment. Obviously they wanted Abby because they can use drugs to get her to do what they want, but it doesn’t seem right for Kane to put that guilt on Abby’s shoulders.

It just reminded me so much of Abby saying to Raven in 4x03 that the radiation wasn’t killing that child - she was. It’s not true. Raven didn’t kill that girl, and Abby didn’t kill this one. It was Octavia.

Also I know everyone’s having fun hating on Kabby this season but I must have missed the memo cause I don’t really know why y’all hate it so much

Anywayyyyy

Harper SPOKE

“Funny, that’s the same thing we said about getting back down to the ground. And then we found you.”

LISTEN. I don’t know why y’all were hating on Bellamy for “shooting Octavia down�� in this scene. The way she was talking to him in this scene absolutely SCREAMED manipulation to me. I was so happy when he said this to her - like, we’ve been waiting for seasons for him to stand up to Octavia, and finally he is. It’s a lot better than him just sitting there in silence, taking whatever she was probably about to throw at him once she had his sympathy and compliance.

Also, WHAT A DRAG. This writer has all the one-liners, damn. There was so much sass in this episode - I really enjoyed that aspect of it.

Okay, I REALLY love that they brought back Jasper’s suicide letter again in this episode. It was just SO important. So easily they forget about characters who have died on this show and what they meant to the people who are still alive, and I’m happy that that doesn’t seem to be the case with Jasper and Monty. Jasper’s presence in this episode felt like the callback this season needed - it helped me feel a lot more connected to the show, and to the characters. It was a well-needed reminder of the heart of this show and what it’s about.

Also, it is absolutely necessary to give ALL the kudos to Tree Adams for the work he has done this season (and especially in this episode). It’s crazy how much that man has managed to emote with his music. His presence on the crew of this show has served to elevate it in every single way. When I heard “The Awakening” being played over the scenes revolving Jasper ... it was A Lot fam. I think it is the most tragic and beautiful song that they have done on The 100 and it is also very deeply linked to Jasper as a character and everything that he went through. I love that, even though that song is from Season 3, they have continued to bring it back for both Season 4 and 5. It shows that they remember where they came from, and the journey that has brought us to this moment.

It Just Means A Lot.

Actually, everything to do with Monty and Clarke in this episode was INCREDIBLE. Man, I really felt their dynamic. They connected so well and it just made me really emotional. They used to be such a team ... Before. It’s nice to see that they can click back into that place so quickly again. Them teaming up ... it almost felt like old times.

“Monty, you can’t pick a lock with pruning sheers.” “Ye hath little faith.”

Thanks to this post here I am now aware that this is exactly what Monty said to Jasper in 2x07 when they were trying to unlock another door and Now I’m Sad (and yet also really happy that they put so much care and detail into this episode?).

Monty was just amazing this episode - like damn he’s so smart. He’s such an undercover badass. We don’t appreciate him enough.

I have to hand it to the writers with this one cause I really did NOT see that worm thing coming lmao. I was SO sure that we were about to get a cannibalism reveal and I’m pretty sure the writers are well-aware of that. They were having fun with us.

But on another note, I’m actually really happy that they brought the worms into the story. Otherwise, 5x05 would have pretty much just been a filler episode with no real significance. But, in doing this, they’ve made it so that episode is even more relevant than we thought. AND WOW WHAT A FUCKING TERRIFYING WAY TO DO SO.

BELLAMY AND MONTY AND CLARKE HAVING A CHAT JUST LIKE OLD TIMES WOW I’M EMO

We can’t forget they were the OG murder trio of 2x16 i love three pals bonded through the blood of their enemies

“Be diplomatic.” “Get out.” “Real diplomatic.” I LOVE TWO (2) COMEDIANS WOW BELLARKE REALLY HAS ME SHOVED STRAIGHT UP THEIR ASS HUH

“Clarke, he was there when Pike shot her and killed 300 of her people.” I know everyone is really mad about this line but on rewatch I noticed that they changed this line from the script so that it puts the blame for the massacre on Pike’s shoulders rather than Bellamy’s and while I do think it was a bit of an awkward placement, I appreciate that they changed the line so it didn’t feel like such a punch in the face.

Also, Clarke’s pause and then “I’ll go with him”? Peak comedy. I love a woman.

“When I was a kid, after the battle of San Francisco, I watched the evacuation on TV. Thousands of refugees being packed into aircraft carriers. I remember seeing soldiers pushing helicopters overboard just to make more room, and Diyoza was there. She was the one giving the orders. The machines were expendable, but the people weren’t. But up in space, when we reported that the miners were getting sick, Eligius saw it differently. Order Eleven came down: ‘Bring home the Hythylodium, leave the prisoners.’ Like they were garbage. Captain Stevens agreed and I didn’t.”

There’s something so compelling about the way Jordan Bolger delivers his lines. It reminds me of him talking to Clarke in 5x03 - I could listen to him talk about his backstory for hours. When he speaks he just has a way of captivating the audience. And also CHARMAINE DIYOZA WAS A MFING WAR HERO AND I WON’T HEAR ANYTHING ELSE. Damn, she continues to be the absolute best.

“So you see, Diyoza’s not as bad as you think and I’m not as good as you hoped.” WHAT A FUCKING LINE.

I am living for Zeke’s character and his relationship with Raven is so intriguing. Jordan and Lindsey have such great chemistry.

“An honest spy is either incompetent or working an angle. Which are you?” CHARMAINE TRULY CAME FOR HER LIFE GOD SHE’S SO SAVAGE I LOVE A WOMAN

“Karina died because her doctor was too high to operate.” “Really? And here I thought it was the bullet.” THANK. YOU.

The way Charmaine calls Kane out in this scene really just made me want to like, pump a fist or something, lmao. When he’s like “maybe it would be a good way to get rid of some of these ...” and she says, “What, Kane? Undesirables?” I. FELT. THAT.

“Kind of like sending 100 juvenile delinquents to die on the ground. Or abandoning 300 prisoners on an asteroid?” You know, I really didn’t expect Charmaine - of all people - to bring back this old argument from Season 1 but I WAS SO HAPPY THAT SHE DID. Say what you will about Diyoza but she’s nothing if not loyal. She’s not here to abandon her troops and she’s not willing to discard any of them - just like she wasn’t willing to abandon any of those refugees. The fact that she’s so open to allowing defectors into the camp at all, that she is feeding them, giving them shelter, actually sitting down to have chats with them is just so ... uncharacteristic of a “villain”? And I love it.

“Trust her? She’s a drug addict. ... Too soon?”

Literally me, every time Diyoza opens her mouth:

Got to take a short second to say again how interested I am to see how this whole Gaia/Madi plotline is going to play out, now that we know that she is actually here to keep her safe. It’s such an interesting dynamic, with her being so close to Octavia.

I know a lot of people are annoyed that the flame is still part of the show but honestly, I think it makes a lot of sense (considering Madi’s position as a nightblood) and plays a lot more interesting of a role now that the time of the Commander’s is supposedly over and their faith has been destroyed ... almost. In any case, I’m pretty sure that the flame will be gone for good by the end of this season because I think that whatever happens with Madi and Octavia’s reign and Wonkru is going to lead to its destruction, but in the meantime I really don’t mind it being part of the story.

I have to talk about the scene where Gaia shows her the flame because I LOVE how it was filmed. The music was so eery and fit the mood perfectly, and the fucking whispers??? We’ve never actually seen how a real, living nightblood reacts to the flame and I think it’s actually super cool that Madi can feel a bond to it - it was literally beckoning to her. It was giving me major Lord of the Rings vibes.

And wow, Lola really killed that scene. You can clearly see the way her emotions are creating inner turmoil for her. She’s been hiding from the flame since birth and yet she also cannot deny the draw that she feels towards it (again, like Frodo with the ring). Lola has such a potential as a little actress - I’m really excited to see where she goes.

Side note but ... who’s going to tell these writers no one actually refers to their sibling as “big brother” just casually?

“There are times in war where you have to do the wrong things for the right reasons.” And I’m sure this is exactly how Echo justified every single thing she did pre-Praimfaya too. I have to admit that I actually liked what they did with Echo this episode just because it shows that she still has areas that require growth. Her priorities and loyalties changed up on the Ark but she has yet to be truly tested. This is her test, to see how much those six years really changed her. If this episode is an indication, her instinct is still to fall back into old habits during times of war. I’m optimistic that what this means is we are going to get to see Echo have real development, on-screen, this season.

Monty reading Jasper’s letter ... I Am Not Okay.

Again, loved all the callbacks to Jasper in this episode. It’s really interesting that his character arc has carried over from Season 3/4 and seems to have reinvented itself in Monty now. I’m hopeful that Monty isn’t going to go down the self-destructive path that Jasper went down, but that he might actually use Jasper’s memory to pave the path towards real change. We rarely get characters who want to end the fighting rather than continue it - I’m interested to see where Monty’s character arc goes as the season progresses.

“Jasper was smarter than all of us [...] If the war is the only way to have the last survivable land on Earth, then maybe we don’t deserve it.” He’s not wrong ...

Octavia throwing a skull at her mirror in rage ... I just have to laugh

“If we lose, [you helping Kane escape] will be why. How does that make you feel?” “Awful, and I’d do it again.”

LISTEN INDRA THIS SEASON IS EVERYTHING. She’s one of the few characters who is not afraid to call out Octavia on the way that she is leading. She can see so clearly through Blodreina’s bullshit and yet she loves Octavia despite it. That’s Strength.

“I miss him, too.” Lemme just go roll into my corner and CRY MY FUCKING EYES OUT because Bellamy and Jasper was one of my all time favourite dynamics and I miss it so much

“Make algae, not war. That’s cute.” IT IS FUCKING CUTE BELLAMY ALL RIGHT

“If the early batches don’t kill them like they nearly did us.” “That’s before I got the recipe right, and you know it.” I STAN

Seriously, though ... Monty is just SO (so) underrated.

BELLAMY BLAKE HAS A FUCKING DIMPLE ON HIS RIGHT CHEEK AND I WAS NOT EVEN FUCKING AWARE OF THIS FACT BECAUSE IN ALL THE FOUR AND HALF SEASONS THAT CAME BEFORE THIS THE CAMERA HAS NEVER FOCUSED ON HIS SMILE LIKE THAT BEFORE SO YEAH I AM SALTY BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THIS CUTENESS GOOD NIGHT

“75% of your people are dying.” “Well, that’s good . . . For Octavia.” The casual way she delivers this line askqiakdksansks i stan a comedian

LISTEN. The reveal of Diyoza being pregnant LITERALLY made me gasp. Out loud. I literally jumped off of my couch and cheered. I am SO excited about this reveal. I didn’t think they were going to actually use the fact that that Ivana was pregnant during filming in the show because they had her taking tequila shots in 5x05 (*sigh*) but I’m really happy that they decided to. It just adds a whole extra layer to Charmaine. She’s not just a leader - she’s a mother. And I do wonder at how that might affect Abby’s and Charmaine’s dynamic, because that’s one thing they both have in common.

Another reason I really liked that reveal was because I think Charmaine being pregnant gives her a higher chance of surviving this season. She still may die, but it’s a lot darker to kill off a character when they are carrying a baby inside of them than when they are not, and I know the CW has regulations on that kind of thing.

That being said, Karina was heavily implied to have been pregnant and she still died ... Although they did cut out the lines that explicitly stated she was pregnant from the script so maybe her death was why?

Anyway, I’m really excited about this plotline.

Raven looking at a beaten up Shaw with tears in her eyes ... this is the angst I live for. Man, I could get invested in this relationship. Not to mention, Zeke becoming one of the prisoners is SUPER intriguing. His role within Eligius is what kept him conflicted before, but if Eligius has rejected him too now, who will he become? What will he do to help Raven and the others? Right now, I’m sure he wants nothing to do with her but I know that won’t last forever and I’m really excited to see what they do with his character.

I know that Madi beating Ethan in that fight was a TERRIBLE idea but I’m really excited about it. Madi has surprised me as a character (in a good way) because she has so much of her own agency outside of Clarke. I think the story of her struggling with her hero-worship and glorification of Octavia versus her love and loyalty to Clarke is super interesting. She may be fucking everything up but she’s doing it on her own terms, and that’s exciting, because Madi easily could have been written in as a plot device to cause conflict between Clarke and her friends as well as within the Grounder system. Instead, the writers have given her flaws and strengths in her own right. She is way more fleshed out as a character than I was expecting going into Season 5 and I think this story with her and Octavia will be really interesting.

Also, I 100% predicted that Madi would be Octavia’s second in my spec masterpost months ago. In fact, a lot of my spec about Madi and Octavia has been taking shape pretty nicely so I’m really interested to see if the rest of my spec regarding that relationship follows through too ...

Clarke taking the radio and calling Diyoza just like she called Emerson in 2x16 ... damn. DAMN. Nice to see the return of “you may be the Chancellor, but I’m in charge”. She’s So Powerful.

BELLAMY AND CLARKE STARING DIRECTLY INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES DURING THE ENTIRE RADIO SCENE UNTIL BELLAMY COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE AND TURNED AWAY AM I SENSING SOME TENSION HERE

But seriously, he knew exactly what she was going to see even before she said “That’s why we’re going to take her out.” Even after six years Bellamy can read her so well

I’ve been waiting all season for the turbulence I was promised and OH BOY AM I READY FOR THE ANGST

HAKELDAMA 2.0 HERE I COME

BOOM. Out.

That was a KILLER episode. It took me forever to get through this recap because there were so many aspects of the episode that I really, really enjoyed. It hit all the right emotional beats, the music was on point, and the plot was super intriguing. It really feels like the story is picking up and I am SO excited to watch 5x08.

It’s going to be harder for me to keep on top of these recaps for the rest of the season as I’m going to be very busy (and I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to watch most of the episodes live) but I’ll do my best to get them all done. I can’t promise that they will all be completed in a timely fashion (before the next episode airs), as I have been doing them thus far, but I’ll try to get them done when I can!

Thanks for reading!

#the 100 #the 100 highlights series #monty green #clarke griffin #posts by moi #jasper jordan: more than a drunken idiot #monty green: not your average cinnamon roll

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thephancast-blog · 6 years

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The Phancast Transcript - Episode Two: Fan Tourism

00:00 Opening & Listener Questions

Julia: Hello and welcome to the Phancast, I’m Julia aka ineverhadmyinternetphase on Tumblr and on AO3 and myalgicjulia on Twitter and I am joined by…

Jane: Jane and I am agingphangirl on Tumblr, Twitter and AO3

Charlotte: And I’m Charlotte and I’m charlottekath on Tumblr.

Jane: So this is episode 2 and at the end of the last episode we asked you to send us questions and comments and things that you would like us to talk about so we are going to go through a couple of those now.

Julia: So we got one from someone called missllamaparty and they said:

‘Hi. 💕 I listened to your first podcast, and I thought it was really interesting and I genuinely enjoyed listening to all your thoughts. I personally haven’t been a fan of Dan and Phil for long, I actually subbed to Dan after the channel name change. Because of that, I’m worried that I won’t fully understand or appreciate Interactive Introverts. Also, I’m going with two friends, one who is also a new Dan and Phil fan and one who I can barely stand being in the same room with now. Any advice?’

Well I’d say if you can’t stand being in the same room as someone then maybe you shouldn’t try and make plans with them

Charlotte: On the other hand though, you’re there to watch the show not talk to the people next to you, but also everyone there is a fan so you could talk to some other fans you meet.

Julia: Yeah, we’re going to be completely spoiler free by the way so don’t worry about that but we have been to the show several times together and we saw people making friends with each other and chatting to each other - people in the interval were making friends.

Charlotte: In terms of understanding it TATINOF was very old school reference, but Interactive Introverts would be fine if you’d only been a fan for a couple of months, it’s all current and relevant things - I mean there's the longstanding Dan and Phil references to...not really spoilers but like to houseplants etc, those things that are iconically Dan and Phil

Julia: No if you’ve been watching them for at least a couple of months then you’ll know everything that comes up in Interactive Introverts - I can’t think of anything that you’d be new to, and even if you were new to it in the context of the show it makes sense anyway so I really don’t think you’re going to be missing out on much.

Jane: Yeah it's really a new Dan and Phil show, TATINOF was really a round up of that phase so if you’ve been a fan since the big rebranding as it were you’ll get everything that's in the show. Being a new fan but having people to go with is amazing, like when I was new it took me a while to make friends in the fandom and I don’t know if they are friends you have in real life or ‘phans’ but I think if you made plans with this person when you did enjoy speaking to them and now you don’t enjoy speaking to them you won’t really need to worry - there’s so much hype and excitement you’ll just get swept along with it.

Charlotte: Also you don’t have to talk about anything personal, like just talk about Dan and Phil. I swear I could talk about Dan and Phil - I don’t have any enemies but if I had an enemy - I could talk about Dan and Phil with my enemy.

Jane: It's always easy to talk about Dan and Phil - we created an entire podcast just to do that so..

Julia: So Charlotte - what was the second question?

Charlotte: So anonymous who signed off as (K) on tumblr had a couple of questions for us, firstly what is your fav dan vid, phil vid, and joint video? Julia what’s yours?

Julia: My favourite Dan video is How I Nearly Blinded Myself because I just can’t watch that video without laughing it’s beautiful! I also think its a prime way of Dan telling a story, one thing i really love about Dan is his ability to tell a story and his ability to kind of draw a picture for you and How I Blinded Myself is a really good retelling of something going wrong and wrong and wrong and not getting any better…

Charlotte: And the pistachio muffin at the end!

Charlotte, Julia & Jane: (in sync) And I ate the pistachio muffin.

Charlotte: I was like so happy for him in that moment.

Jane: Yeah I felt that on a visceral level.

Julia: That’s what I mean I think it makes you react in that way because he is such a good storyteller. My favourite Phil video is A Very Sleepless Night with Phil because I really like the sleepless night with Phil videos, I know there is some controversy over whether or not they are actually filmed at night…

(Others laugh)

I know that but I enjoy them because I do have slight insomnia and when I cannot sleep I put them on because I find them really comforting and refreshing - like what weird things does Phil do in his free time, just show me more of this I enjoy it a lot. My favourite joint video is Google Feud number 2 because Dan is toddler in that video there is no other way to describe him he just throws a tantrum and beautiful.

Charlotte: It’s so funny

Julia: Watching Phil react to that is just really funny. So those are my favourites, so Jane what about you?

Jane: Well I did have I Nearly Blinded Myself as my favourite Dan video written down.

Julia: Sorry!

Jane: I feel like I shouldn’t repeat so I’m just going to go with another Danecdote thing so the Bahamas video which I’ve forgotten the name of temporarily - fake fan! That sort of thing where he takes an instance that has happened to him and spins it out into a sort of a skit story time but without all the drama - I was going to say it’s not dramatic but this is Dan we are talking about so it is a little bit, but that sort of video are my favourite ones. But I will use the Bahamas video as a stand in. My favourite Phil vid this was difficult for me because I like quite a lot of them but I think I’m going to go with Viewers Pick My Outfits.

Charlotte: Stole my one.

Jane: Did I? Sorry! Maybe we should have had a conversation about this before. I mean arguably Dan is also there but it was nice I think it was the turning point to Phil being as confident as he is these days? I hope he does a repeat with his quiff - not likely to happen.

Julia: That’s just you being a Phil stan.

Jane: So badly. My favourite joint video I know on our Tumblr about page I put Monster Pops which is very good but I think it’s We’re Moving Out! It changes constantly. I’ve rewatched it a million times, it’s really nice, I think we’ve all spoken about this before but they sort of had to make an announcement because it was a huge thing and people would have noticed there was a difference but they didn’t have to do it in that way. Charlotte what about you?

Charlotte: So my favourite Dan video…well both of the ones you picked I would have said but is probably Daniel and Depression because it was so well done and I just have no criticisms of that video, I’ve rewatched it a million and one times and I’m just really proud of him for that. For Phil I would have picked Viewers Pick My Outfit but it’s all because I think that was one of the start videos of Phil having his new found confidence and I think one of the defining moments for me is actually in the slime video when he says like you’re not my mum and Phil is just out there doing what he wants to do and not caring what his viewers or other people think of him and that's just such a nice refreshing change to see, he just seems so much more happy with himself and his content now. And for the joint video it has to be the pastel edits because there is this one moment where Phil hands...

(Others giggle as Charlotte is predictable?)

...Dan the glowing unicorn and Dan’s like urgh why are you handing me another prop and then he gets it and it starts to glow and he gets very amazed by it and he’s looking at and he’s so distracted that Phil puts up the parasol behind him and it hits him in the back of the head and everytime that happens it just cracks me up, it’s beautiful. It's just like every single thing Phil hands him Dan’s like urgh I don’t want this and then as soon as he gets it in his hands he’s like oh this is amazing, I want these tattoos…

Julia: It just proves that he is soft and not edgy at all.

Charlotte: It’s just hilarious I love it. Also it’s Phil handing him a plushie and there is a history of Phil handing Dan plushies.

Julia: Yeah.

Jane: Oh, don’t do this to me.

Charlotte: You know he’s kept that on the top shelf somewhere.

Julia: Let’s move on before we break Jane.

Charlotte: Sorry, okay, so the next part of the question was ‘what do you guys think about the way Dan and Phil share individually - I mean how open they are, things off limits, giving opinions, online personas?

Julia: I think that they’ve become more open about their relationship, the way they live and what they do day to day, they’ve become a bit more open about that but they’ve done it on their terms which is what I like and why I feel comfortable. They are showing us things that are not just persona heavy anymore - like TATINOF was so persona heavy and they’ve moved on from that but they’ve done it on their terms and they’ve taken control of the situation and I think that’s really interesting because it’s not longer us trying to forensically try to find out what they’ve done and constantly stalking down everything they do (I mean we do still do that but not in the same way as before) but they are letting us in as much as they want to.

Jane: I think I agree with you a bit Julia but it's not so much a shedding of personas because I think that when they started they didn’t like sit down and discuss and construct these fake people they were going to be online and I think as they’ve said before they’re just themselves but turned up to eleven because they are trying to be entertaining, and I think now they are just a bit more defined about themselves about which parts are included in that.

Charlotte: I think K worded the question to about individually and I think that is really interesting because they both are at different levels of openness and what they want to share - like Phil will talk about family life but for Dan that’s off limits and Dan will talk about other personal things and Phil well, he has actually become more open when it comes to his anxiety, but they still are at slightly different levels but I think maybe that works for them and they need to keep that so they have that individually as well.

Jane: I agree, I think also what’s really interesting is the way that they’ve changed their boundaries like Dan obviously did a big statement that he was rebranding and living his truth and all of these huge moves, whereas Phil has just taken smaller and smaller steps until the only really big climax was actually he changed his hair but if you look at it it’s actually so much more than that. He’s a completely different person to who he was back then he just hasn’t made any grand gestures like I’m a completely different person from now on, put everything that used to be me in the bin and set it on fire.

Charlotte: That just sums up their personalities and who they are as people - Dan is a fan of the grand gesture and sweeping statement.

Jane: Exactly, but what it’s meant is that as Phil didn’t make any grand gestures and any giant leaps if he’s wanted to take anything back at any point, and I don’t know if he has but as I haven’t noticed - but that's the point - you won’t notice because he hasn’t said this is a turning point, this is the line in the sand and once we’ve crossed it we can never go back whereas Dan has done this a little bit and I think I think - well I’m speculating - but I think sometimes he gets a little scared of doing those thing and then he tries to go back over the line and it’s not always successful because he’s made a grand statement of something he’s going to do like DITL he’s going to start running the next year and then he doesn’t do it and then everyone mocks him for it. There’s always these grand I’m going to do these things and then if he doesn’t not only is he guilty to himself he is guilty to everyone else he has told he is going to do it.

Julia: Phil is definitely a lot more subtle, and that can aid him sometimes in that there's never as much drama surrounding him as there is surrounding Dan in the fandom, and for whatever reasons whether that’s good or bad I think there it’s definitely due to the way that they present themselves.

Charlotte: Right, well the final thing they wanted to know was what do we think of Dan and Phil’s future? Career, relationship etc.

Jane: I’ve written one thing in my notes and it’s just that it’s not the end, exclamation mark because I’m fed up of reading that, like everyone speculating it's the final tour, everything will change after this, but its not in the future it will just continue.

Julia: Yeah we’re following real people’s lives and their lives aren’t just going to end after the tour they are going to continue living and doing things and there’s still going to be an interest in what they are doing

Jane: I hope they diversify, I hope they do things that they enjoy more.

Charlotte: I hope they do some more seperate things, this merch has been really interesting in that they have got different creative ideas and I think it would be really fun for them to and explore this, like Phil’s always been interested in reality TV whilst Dan is interested in documentaries - do stuff like that separately as well, they both have the clout in the media industry now to start branching out if they wanted to so if there was things they were interested in learning how to do or being part of it’s not completely out of their reach.

Julia: Yeah and they’ve got the platform to go off now, they’ve sold out two world tours, they’ve got a status now so I think they would be respected in doing other things. Also they kind of caving the way…

Charlotte: Caving?

Julia: Caving the way?

(All laugh)

Julia: Leave me alone I’m tired

Jane: Was it carving and paving?

Julia: Yes carving and paving...caving?

(All laugh)

Jane: Caving the way, anyway, sorry carry on.

Julia: They are used to paving the way for things because they were the first YouTubers to do a tour in the way that they did and they were the first YouTubers to do the radio in the way that they did.

Charlotte: Jimmy was on the radio before them wasn’t he?

Jane: I’m not sure…

Charlotte: I’m pretty sure Jimmy was on the radio before hand.

Jane: Yeah but he’s been doing radio since his student days.

Julia: Well Dan and Phil were definitely early in it..

Charlotte: And like presenting the Brits etc…

Jane: Also I don’t know if Jimmy was ever billed as a YouTuber doing radio, I think he was just a radio presenter who happened to do YouTube whereas Dan and Phil were Internet Takeover, they are YouTubers who just happen to do the radio.

Charlotte: Whilst their career is really interesting, what do I think is going to happen in the future? A DOG AND A HOUSE! Goddamnit that's the content I’m here for!

Jane: I’ve already made my thoughts on that very clear!

Charlotte: I recommend everyone goes and reads Jane’s fic The Brochure because that’s what’s happening.

Jane: Yeah that’s our theory

Julia: It’s taken from a conversation the three of us had one night and Jane said I’m going to go write this and we were all like YES!

Charlotte: Although they could build a house…

Julia: Are we going down that rabbit hole?

Charlotte: I don’t know why they’d build a house, but they could build one..but the dog, the dog is really important.

Julia: The dog is so important! We’ve seen them around dogs, we know they want dogs.

Charlotte: I’ve been completely disappointed this year - slightly unrelated - but Tom and Lance had a baby, and I was expecting really fucking good baby content and I’ve had no baby content. Just the back of the babies head. I’m just so thoroughly disappointed I just need Dan and Phil to get a dog so Dan can do so many good instagram stories of the dog - dog first walking, dog first sitting on pillow, dog first going down the stairs, dog first walking into the bathroom - i want it all.

Jane: Who does the dog love more?

Julia: I’ve written a fic about that.

Jane: Dan trying to have rules for the dog but Phil spoiling it

Charlotte: The extra dog toys Phil would buy

Jane: Oh so many! Do they do dog toys on Firebox?

Charlotte: Why don’t firebox just hire Phil as a designer? Can that be his new foray, he seemed really good with merch. Can he just get a line on Firebox?

Julia: I’d buy it.

Jane: Yeah, hashtag get Phil sponsored by Firebox please

Charlotte: Right what was the last question Jane?

Jane: So the last question comes from phantasticflops on Tumblr otherwise know as Maike - I hope I pronounced that right. So the question was actually in reply to the post and ‘So, I’ve been more or less loudly screaming into the void for a dnp podcast for a couple of years now. Initially I wanted them to do one just because I really miss the radio show and enjoyed the audio book so much (but what would they even talk about??). But this might be so much better. I don’t have any actual friends in the phandom, I have people I talk to occasionally and really like, but nothing deep or solid) and my irl friends, although some know and support me in this, obviously have no interest in listening to me talking about them, so this is probably the closest I will get to an actual (not including tatinof and ii where I was able to talk to people irl about them unashamedly) in depth discussion about them with likeminded people. And then they went on to say some really nice things about how they are enjoying the podcast. So yeah, I think I read it and I got a little emotional reading it because it was really nice and that was the same for me, I didn’t have any actual friends in the fandom before I met your two so it is nice to talk IRL with people.

Charlotte: Yeah it’s different from having online friends, or I’ve been in fandoms where I’ve just been a spectator and I’ve not communicated with anyone and it’s fine but occasionally but it’s kind of nice to have people to squeal about to when they do something.

Julia: Yeah the three of us plan a PINOF viewing party every year

Charlotte: Every year?? Like it’s been going on multiple years?? Just the one!

Jane: We’ve done it once!

Julia: But we have plans to do it a second time and I’m planning to keep you both for a long time so it can become an annual tradition. My point being it is nice to have IRL friends to do this with because I’ve never had that before really but it's nice to have people in my city.

Charlotte: All my friends in the Hannibal fandom were other academics and I could only talk about Hannibal sounding smart, like there was all this pressure to make really good media studies observations about the show and the showrunners and I couldn’t say anything like look theres Will in his underwear which was kind of what I wanted to do.

Jane: I agree with both of you but I think equally you can have a really good time in fandom without IRL friends you don’t need people to talk to, it doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy fandom in the same way, and you can’t enjoy Dan and Phil in the same way because there is a good community on Tumblr if you look for it - it doesn’t have to be just you shouting into the void you can talk to people. I mean we all just started commenting on fic, and talking to each other and instant messaging and stuff like that so you don’t always have to have IRL friends. And there’s always people doing projects like this, or other things people making fan videos or fan art or fic and other fan activities that you can get involved in and then talking to them about that. And group chats and discord servers and whatever else it is young people do these days! I think the community is hard on Tumblr because it only really lends itself to having your blog and your dash of people that you’ve cultivated of people you want to follow and you can only talk to people in that way if you reblog it so it doesn’t really lend itself to very well, so I think you have to work for it a little more but its still definitely doable.

Julia: Yeah I think it all just starts with sending a message, reaching out to somebody is the scariest bit - like leaving a comment on somebody’s fic or sending them a message on Tumblr or DM-ing them on Twitter or whatever it might be. Taking that first step is really scary but it does need to really nice things.

Jane: Yeah and next time you want to say something nice about somebody and you go into their ask box to do it - don’t put on anon and then they will see your username and then they will want to be your friend, I mean it worked for Dan so…

Julia: That is true.

Jane: And for all of us

Charlotte: I also think sometimes IRL friends who aren’t in this fandom but are in other fandoms are just as fun to talk to because you can compare fandoms, hear about what's going on in theirs - like me and my cousin are both in fandom but she’s in different ones at the moment but we can still squeal about the things we enjoy to one another, and is nice to see your friends excited for the things they enjoy.

Jane: Absolutely. I’ve got friends who I met in the phandom who are now vaguely not in it and are reading other things but I still talk to them about Dan and Phil whenever they do something and they get it because they were here but they are not necessarily as invested as they used to be, but then they squeal at me about stuff to do with their fandom and I find it really interesting because…

Charlotte: Unless it’s BTS

Julia: Hey that’s rude!

Jane: I’m sorry there’s too many of them I can’t, I’ve tried.

Julia: They are a great fandom to be part of I’m a strong proponent for the BTS fandom right now.

Charlotte: You do you in the corner.

Julia: They’re great!

Jane: They’ve had a long fic out of you so now you need to come back to us.

Julia: I never left! I’m still doing this podcast aren’t I? I still take part in everything Dan and Phil do, I still stalk them as much as you do!

Jane: So I just want to go back to the first bit of this question because I think we dwelt on the second part a bit too much, but them saying that they would like a Dan and Phil podcast - I’ve always thought that as well and I think it would be a great move.

Julia: Yes!

Jane: Because they had the radio show which was amazing.

Julia: And the audio book.

Jane: And the audio book which is also good.

Charlotte: And you know their live shows are just like podcasts as they keep telling us, if they could bring the live shows back from the dead life would be good.

Jane: And it would combine all the things I think/I assume that they don’t like about liveshows, like having to do them at a certain time, they may get into a ramble and want to edit it out later, with a podcast as evidenced now you can go off on a ramble and then edit it out later. So yeah I think it would be a great format for them honestly, like they could just sit down and have a chat for an hour, like it wouldn’t even have to be that structured.

Julia: I’ve said this before and I said it last time, I would literally listen to them read the phonebook so they literally could do anything in that format and I’d be all about it.

Charlotte: Yeah and I love the audiobook I’ve listened to that numerous times. The best bit is Phil recounting his university days every time I listen to it it makes me laugh so much I have to run down an alley and sit on the floor and laugh because I can’t school my face into something that is acceptable in public

Julia: I listened to it the first time on a four hour train journey and I think the person next to me regretted their life choices because I was just giggling to myself the whole way and squealing into my coat like this is such a good thing.

Jane: I do enjoy the audiobook a lot but I have to skip the fanfiction section

Charlotte: Same

Jane: As we know I’ve never read them, I’ve never watched the videos (here and here), I’ve never listened to them read it. I know what they’re about because I’ve heard people talking about them but I’ve never read them or heard them read aloud and I do not intend to! I don’t want to read their fanfiction about themselves thank you, I don’t know why its just a thing that I don’t want in my life. So yeah they are the only chapters I skip, occasionally I have nearly, I fall asleep to audiobooks quite frequently so I have to make sure I start at a chapter after those so I don’t accidentally wake up and it’s playing or put a sleep timer on so it ends before I get there because I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and have Dan and Phil narrating whatever it is they wrote in those fic.

Julia: It’s interesting because that for me was the moment that I felt definitely okay with writing fic about them because they’ve done it so clearly they don’t mind like moralistically they have no problem with it so I’m going to write fic about them because they did!

Charlotte: Can I just stop you there because I think we are going to do a mini episode about this topic after we got an email from Amber about the ethics of reading and writing about real people so I think we should hold this discussion for next time.

Julia: You are correct!

Jane: MIni episode coming your way soon because I think we all have a lot to say about RPF and consent and things like that

Julia: Yes thank you to Amber for that email it was really interesting to read about and we definitely want to make a minisode about this

Charlotte: Yeah we don’t want to skim over it, we want a bit of an in depth discussion for that one.

Jane: So that’s all the questions we recieved if you want to send us questions you can send us them in asks on Tumblr or reply to the post, send us an email or you can even record a question and send it to us, all the details are on our Tumblr page.

Julia: Yes and they will be in the show notes for this episode as well

Jane: So do we want to move onto the next thing.

Charlotte: JINGLE JINGLE JINGLE

Jane: Every time

Julia: It’s never going to end now.

24.45 Previously On Dan & Phil

Julia: Okay so now we’re going to look at this month on Dan and Phil, so we got quite a few videos from them this time around one being the Overcooked 2 gaming video which I thoroughly enjoyed because it was absolutely hilarious watching it devolve into awfulness

Charlotte: I think it's just the fact that for the first three minutes they were just rambling oh look Dan’s wearing a hat, oh look at this and at this, Phil picks up the phone and pretends to call reception and I just died.

Julia: Its that moment where Phil’s on the phone and Dan’s holding a bag of crisps and I was just looking at the screen like what am I watching?

Charlotte: Or when they talk about how they could potentially do this as a Dan vs Phil but obviously they don’t go on to do a Dan vs Phil so if you were a new viewer and you saw that bit with no context…

Julia: You’d have no idea what was going on.

Charlotte: We could potentially do this as ‘noises, noises, noises’ and then they just carry on.

Julia: No explanation.

Jane: To be honest I watch every video and I’m still not sure if I know what's going on

Julia: My other favourite moment from that video is when Phil says he’s going to control and Dan’s like right you have to tell me to do everything then, I’m not going to take a step, I’m not going to pick up a thing, I’m not going to use my brain, I’m just going to sit here until you tell me exactly what to do and just turns into a toddler again - I just really like it when Dan throws toddler tantrums, can you tell?

Charlotte: It's because Phil’s just told him to dial down the Gordon Ramsey

Jane: My favourite reaction to that was like ‘I didn’t swear’ because they’ve obviously had a conversation about demonetization and Dan needs to stop swearing because there are all those categories now, so what's included and what's not and they just want to tick that there is no swearing in this video for once

Julia: What’s so funny is that Dan’s so proud of the fact he didn’t swear, like ‘you should be proud of me’ but you’ve been yelling at Phil for 10 minutes

Jane: Yeah you haven’t considered the fact that you’ve been yelling pretty consistently for a while, demanding things over and over again

Charlotte: Also we got the random shot of the room afterwards when they showed us their suitcases

Jane: Yeah that wasn’t necessary on any level but I enjoyed it

Charlotte: Yeah I was like thanks for that, that’s the content I want

Julia: That was entirely Dan being like look at our messy hotel room, look at Phil being a mess

Jane: I’ve just got images of Phil trying to find the cable going through both suitcases chucking things out

Charlotte: And the other thing that we got was the most recent one which was the Sims video

Julia: Which I loved because I love the Sims series, I watch it regularly, it's one of my favourites bits of content that they put out

Charlotte: It was interesting video??

(All laugh)

Jane: So many things were said

Charlotte: Yeah I’m not to sure if Dan was correct and we’ve all be asking for less Dab and Evan and more Dil?

Jane: I don’t know where he’s got that from

Charlotte: Oh my favourite bit of it was when I clocked that when they cloned her that she had been added to their family and there was a full minute and a half where they didn’t clock it then suddenly….

Julia: My favourite thing about that is as much as I want to get a dog, is that don’t give them responsibility because they will just pass it away as soon as they possibly can, they were like no we’ve made a clone, we don’t want the responsibility of having a clone so we’re going to put her back away where we don’t have to deal with her anymore. Its like guys, responsibility, your actions have consequences….

Jane: At the beginning of the vid when they said Phil had been playing it to level them up and then they come back I was half convinced at that point that point in the video that actually they’d cheated up those levels but later on, I can’t remember the exact thing they say, but it's quite obvious that Phil has been playing it and Dan’s just been watching him play it, because Dan now understands all the dynamics of how they can get the employees at work to do things and he says something about how we’re always making you do stuff and I was like that’s not been in an episode so you’ve been playing together so it’s not just been Phil doing it, and it’s really cute.

Charlotte: Yeah because that’s the first time that they’ve acknowledged playing the Sims off camera isn’t it?

Jane: Yeah...I do wonder if they’ve ever done it before, people have speculated that they may have done

Julia: Yeah if things don’t quite add up or seem a little bit off like maybe they were playing it and did a bad save and so went back to where they were before

Jane: Do you reckon they’ve ever killed Dil and had to go back to an earlier thing?

Charlotte: Probably at the beginning

Julia: I wouldn’t put it past them because they really struggled with doing anything at the beginning. My other favorite thing about that video is that they were both in Phil’s merch and it just warms my heart when they do things like that.

Charlotte: Well that was the other thing that’s this month in Dan and Phil - Phil’s merch!

(All cheer!)

Julia: I’m so excited

Charlotte: It’s so good!

Jane: We’ve all ordered some!

Julia: Yeah we did a big joint order

Charlotte: He dropped the merch when we were on the tube trying to get through London

Jane: We had to stop on the platform to have a look at it and have a bit of a scream and then we were looking at the hoodie and the pins and I was like has he not done a tshirt, no wait he has done a tshirt and we clicked on it and the photo loaded, and we were all like try new things!

Julia: It was a good moment

Charlotte: It’s so nice and it's so Phil and it’s so thoughtfully done, even the website down to the about page he’s put in so much effort in this.

Julia: Yeah the handwritten note is really adorable, it’s such a nice touch and it’s such a thing that Phil would do

Jane: I love how all the things go together, but they’re not really samey, it’s not like the same thing copied a million times, and there’s not like loads of it there’s just enough of it

Charlotte: Yeah it’s like a little pocket collection, and it all matches like it has the same aesthetic and it has some running motifs and stuff, I really really like it.

Jane: There's a tiny throwback with lion

Julia: I know, I love that

Jane: It's really, really nice because obviously Dan did his throwback with the eclipse t shirt, yeah I really really like it - that try new things t-shirt is my favourite

Charlotte: I’m so excited for that to come

Jane: Apparently it's really, really soft. Someone got one from the pop up shop and was tweeting about it, I don’t remember who that was - really sorry - but yeah they were saying it’s really soft

Julia: I can’t wait til the fox jumper arrives, like as soon as I saw Phil wearing it I was like I’ve made a good life decision by ordering this object, I need it.

Jane: I’m so glad they’ve moved into the ceramic pins market because I love them

Charlotte: Yeah you have loads on your bag haven’t you?

Jane: Yeah I do.

Charlotte: I really liked Phil’s merch, it was better than I was expecting.

Julia: But the socks sold out before we could get them which I’m mad about because I wanted those cactus socks, because they are such a Phil object

Charlotte: His merch sold out fast

Jane: It did, I’m so proud of him

Charlotte: Tha must be a good feeling because he’d really put a lot of care and thought into the designs

Julia: I think that's why it took so long to get here like he really did put thought into every single object although I’m still laughing at the fact they really did take those photos in a bush. So he put thought into it but also they did that.

Jane: If you laugh at anything, laugh at the fact he did a countdown of one day. Did you see me reblog that Tumblr post, that was the best thing.

Charlotte: Maybe he didn’t do a countdown because Dan was so offended when he said he was going to do a countdown in that live show and Dan was like what?? We’ve got other things to do, how dare you! And it's like chill, its a countdown on Twitter, it's not going to interrupt you filming your LA show

Julia: I also love when Phil said oh my merch is coming tomorrow and Dan was like but you had all those GIFs ready and he seemed so sad that Phil wasn’t going to get a chance to use them.

Jane: He still did use them.

Julia: We tried to guess when the merch was dropping based on the GIFs and how many of them there would be and we guessed midnight and then it dropped at like 7 when we were travelling, frustrating.

Charlotte: That was bad timing. So yeah, hopefully this means Dan will do some more merch afterwards if this sells well.

Jane: Yeah.

Julia: That would be nice

Charlotte: Because I really preferred Phil’s but I love Dan’s aesthetic so MAKE SOME GOOD MERCH

Jane: I said it last time but if he did some nail polish or like a candle like something different which I know is more difficult to do

Charlotte: Yeah but it's hard to do socks and Phil has managed it

Julia: Yeah there are ways around it, I think Dan just had his ideas around him merch set for several years and so when the opportunity came to do it, he was like I’ve got all these ideas even if they are a bit outdated, but I think he will do an update, not that I hated what he did its just..

Jane: I think he was just aiming at a different target audience that I am, like that particular selection of items.

Charlotte: I’d like some more joint merch, you know with just the D&P like the hoodies and on the back of the phone case, if that's going to be moving forward their subtle branding I like that.

Jane: Yeah if they just put that on the top left of a t-shirt I would wear the heck out of it

Julia: I do like that they’ve both gone slightly more subtle with their merch, it's not like Dan and Phil written everywhere.

Charlotte: Yeah but Phil’s is not subtle like it doesn’t have anything on it like just a plain t-shirt, Phil’s is like full patterned across everything but its not..

Jane: It doesn’t say AmazingPhil

Julia: Yeah like it’s got foxes all over it but it’s such a Phil thing to do

Charlotte: Like the Try New Things design is amazing.

Jane: It's much more adult which is what I like because there’s not like a cartoon lion which obviously as an adult you can still wear that but…

Charlotte: Its cartoon foxes instead!

Jane: Maybe it’s just me, but if I’m at work and we have a dress down Friday I could wear the Try New Things t-shirt to work, I wouldn’t feel weird about that like I’m not going to get anyone being like what is it? It’s just a cute t-shirt with a slogan on it that’s inspiring and motivational.

Julia: I did do a university presentation that counted towards my grade in the galaxy t-shirt and nobody clocked it

Jane: I just like how its a bit more, because you know I’m old in fandom terms, a little more my age demographic

Julia: Janes branding is old and tired

Jane: I’m fine with this

Charlotte: What’s my branding?

Both: Jingle jingle jingle jingle

Charlotte: Bad jingles? Thanks.

Jane: Also getting really high pitched when you’re excited about things that happened in videos

Julia: Yes that is also what Charlotte does. I don’t even want to ask about what my branding is. Coughing in the corner probably.

Jane: Talking about Yu-Gi-Oh when nobody wants to hear about it

Julia: Rude!

Jane: Defecting to other fandoms

Julia: Let me have my other fandom interests but I left Yu-Gi-Oh a long time ago, let me live!

Jane: Then stop talking about it! (Laughs) We were going round Forbidden Planet yesterday and we saw a Yu-Gi-Oh thing and I was like not now Julia

Julia: Shh! It was Yu-Gi-Oh and I liked it, it's part of my past but Jane was like but you’ve moved on to better things. You’re offending everyone in the Yu-Gi-Oh fandom.

Jane: Sorry Yu-Gi-Oh fandom. Apologise if you’ve stumbled here and I don’t know how you’ve got here, I’m sorry.

Charlotte: So the final thing we wanted to talk about that they’ve been doing is the end of the US tour, and now they are in Australia

Julia: And their instagram stories are still going on, although Phil definitely timed the ones the ones on the flight, I don’t think they were actually from when they were in the air

Jane: Half of me things maybe he’d done them all, didn’t have WIFI and then got WIFI or delayed or...either way it was really funny. I think they are just used to delaying posts when travelling so people don’t know where they actually are at any given point which is smart, but it was still hilarious when it came and it was like you’ve actually landed 10 hours ago Phil

Charlotte: I’m glad they are keeping up the instagram stories like we are getting a lot of content

Julia: Although I will question why they were annoyed by the cold on the beach when Australia is in winter right now, do they understand about hemispheres and seasons?

Jane: No

Charlotte: I mean do they have any warm things other than their merch? Are the jackets the warmest things they have?

Jane: Where’s the snazzy yellow jacket.

Charlotte: Yeah Phil’s raincoat!

Jane: That would have kept you warm on the beach, not that I’m complaining about him being in the denim jacket though

Julia: Your Phil stan is showing again Jane

Jane: Sorry!

Charlotte: The US tour just felt so fast I can’t believe that bits over already

Julia: It was so intense how many shows they had in so few days, they went hard on that bit.

Jane: I’m glad they’ve got a couple of days to relax now, is it the 19th the next show?

Julia: I don’t know, that’s bad

Jane: Their in a different time zone so!

Charlotte: It’s just the fact that in the last live show they were talking about thinking about going home, like it’s coming to a close soon.

Jane: Yeah, it is.

Julia: It’s going to be strange!

Jane: There’s not that many shows left and then there’s the TBC ones at the end obviously. The elephant in the room.

Charlotte: Hmm, yes.

Jane: Yeah we don’t know what’s happening, we just have to take it at face value, they’ve said they are working on it so let's assume they are working on it.

Charlotte: Yeah

Julia: Exactly.

Jane: No doom and gloom

Charlotte: I’m hoping now they’re doing some travelling in some countries that Phil’s never been to before like New Zealand and India we’ll get some Instagram stuff from there.

Jane: The India IG stories are going to be so good!

Julia: Also I really want them to go to hobbiton in New Zealand

Jane: They’re so tall!

Julia: I know but it will be so good!

Jane: It will be like Gandalf arriving without the need for perspective.

Julia: That’s why it would be so good, I need it!

Charlotte: They are so big!

Jane: Ooh they should recreate, you know that one they did at the Brits?? Where they were stomping through the mini London.

Julia: That was Phil’s picture for ages wasn’t it?

Jane: Was it?

Julia: On his Facebook? On his personal facebook. Not that I have his personal facebook.

Jane: I don’t know Julia, I’m not a stalker!

Julia: Rude!

Jane: No it was probably just before my time.

Julia: Maybe it was before, but it was his profile picture for ages on Facebook, it was going round Tumblr though I didn’t find it…

Charlotte: Isn’t now it one of the pictures from the dog calendar?

Jane: The green one isn’t it? With the plants and the trowel that was under his bed?

(All laugh)

Julia: Also they filmed the LA show of Interactive Introverts and they’ve said it will be released at some point for everyone to see which I’m really really excited about.

Jane: Everyone is speculating Netflix, which is good but I really want a DVD with extras and behind the scenes.

Charlotte: I don’t own a DVD player.

Julia: We’d get one, we could get one for this.

Jane: I think my only problem with it being Netflix is that it’s really cool that lots of people will see it, if they can get same day worldwide release which I don’t know how hard or easy that is but it would be that it doesn’t exist like permanently, like I can’t own that, so I’d like it to be somewhere where I can own it like not even something tangible but you know like a digital download?

Julia: That’s true, so you know you’re not going to lose it.

Jane: Yeah because I’ve been burned before by Netflix getting rid of things. I add things to my queue like oh, I’ll watch that later and then I don’t and then it’s gone forever. I’m hoping that it is somewhere that lots of people can access it as well because obviously there is - especially if they don’t get the TBC dates - a lot of places where nobody has been able to see it and obviously no matter how many places they go to there’s always going to be people who can’t go because they don’t want to actually go to a show or it’s too far away or they can’t afford to go, whatever, like I think it would be nice to put it somewhere where everyone can see it.

Charlotte: They’ve implied that it’s going to be a fast turn around which would be really nice actually.

Jane: Yeah I hope so.

Julia: Yeah because then we don’t have to worry about continuing to try and remain spoiler free.

Charlotte: I also think that they’ll want to finish it so that will be the end of the chapter of Interactive Introverts and they won’t want to drag that out for 2000 years.

Jane: And if they did it, if they do it a few months before Christmas, then if anybody want to then they could ask for it as a Christmas present.

Julia: Yeah that’s true.

Charlotte: They need to get it out they way before Spooky Week, PINOF and Gamingmas.

Jane: Yes, that is true

Charlotte: Yeah that latter bit of the year, it needs to come before those.

Jane: So September, end of September seems like a good time, would be good for them to release it but I’m sure they’ll release it ‘when the time is right’.

(All laugh)

Charlotte: Oh, when the time is right. Yeah.

Jane: Sometime in the soon.

Charlotte: I wonder what will come first, a DINOF video or the stage show.

(Others groan)

Charlotte: Sorry, sorry!

Julia: We don’t want to talk about DINOF videos.

Jane: No, no we don’t.

Charlotte: No we don’t need to go there.

Jane: Let DINOF go for a bit.

Charlotte: Right shall we move onto this week's topic?

Julia: Yes!

Jane & Julia: Jingle, Jingle, Jingle! (Laughing)

Charlotte: There you go, you guys did it for me, so much for branding.

41.03: Topic of the Week - Fan Tourism

Charlotte: So this week's topic, we wanted to talk about Fan Tourism, kind of because we came down to London to to the Day In the Life stuff (based on these videos) and so we thought it would be interesting to discuss.

Julia: Yeah we’ve literally spent the last day going round London and doing exactly what they did in DITL. So yesterday we went all round like Covent Garden, and we went to Forbidden Planet...and we tried to go to the Starbucks and then then Starbucks was closed down.

Jane: It was so upsetting, we came round the corner and it has all these boarded up windows with signs like ‘we’re working on refreshing your store’ and it was like ‘Nooooo!!!! We’ve come so far!’

Charlotte: And now the thing is the inside is going to be completely different.

Jane: I wonder if it will still have the same condensation problems?

(All laugh)

Julia: I just like imagining you walking in like I like this new refurbished Starbucks but do you still have condensation problems?

Jane: I would really like to go and draw a Christmas tree on your window.

Julia: Yeah but it led to some really interesting conversations about being fannish and how that works in person and how these places take on a new meaning because Dan and Phil have gone there, like normal tourists don’t come to London to go to specific Starbucks

Charlotte: Or to go and hug the ‘Google statue’

Julia: Or refer to it as the ‘Google statue’

Charlotte: Oh yeah it has nothing to do with Google

Jane: Or to go and hang out around the astrology shop and have the person inside be like what are they doing out there, why are they taking so many photos of the front of our window?

Charlotte: That must look quite strange.

Julia: It must, but I’m interested in how this has become a thing that fans do to feel closer to Dan and Phil, like even when filming the DITL was probably something to Dan and Phil that they did like four years ago and they don’t hold the same significance to those places that we do as viewers.

Charlotte: Well 100%, they didn’t film near where they lived, it was somewhere in Central, this is not places that they go to all the time they just seem to have wandered round Covent Garden pointing out places and yet these places have been given significance by the fandom.

Jane: It’s been really cool to go places that are otherwise insignificant like a Starbucks in a random corner….

Charlotte: Or a random pub

Jane: Yes a random pub, or like a bit of art that I’m sure has a lot of actual meaning that the artist intended it to have but not just that some ex-emo tried to hug it once. Like they didn’t expect people like us to turn up and actually hug it.

Julia: Or to go in the black telephone box which had a woman outside it who looked so confused. There was a beautiful photo of Charlotte standing doing peace signs and this woman is just staring at her like what are you doing???

Jane: I think there was a lot of that yesterday like, what are you doing?

Charlotte: There’s points like when we were in Piccadilly like that is an actual tourist spot where people are - Dan and Phil actually comment on it - taking photos of big advertisements so we go there and take the pictures too and become literally the tourists they were talking about.

Jane: Yeah but there’s another layer on that like we are not doing this because of the tourism of the place we’re doing it because of Dan and Phil going there which is just odd.

Julia: It’s an interesting way to do fandom, because it’s not like buying merch, it’s not doing something that they’ve put out there for fandom to consume, it’s like going along with something that they did and feeling closer to them because of it.

Charlotte: Well it doesn’t benefit them, we’re not consuming anything directly related to them anymore.

Jane: Yeah there’s this travelling places and going places that they’ve gone and you feel a bit closer to them, or somehow them going to those places is like a recommendation that it must be good?

Charlotte: I mean look at where we are going tonight.

Julia: We’re going to a sushi restaurant that we know Dan had his birthday at..

Charlotte: And Phil had his birthday at…

Jane: Phil’s in 2016 and Dan’s in 2017…

Charlotte: And it’s the same building that the Duck & Waffle is in which is where they take Cat so…

Julia: We know they like this spot and we’re going there because we know they like this spot.

Jane: Yes and we’re going to spend all of our money because of them because it is very expensive!

Charlotte: Yeah we had to book two months in advance just to eat some sushi.

Jane: Yeah and even down to we worked out which cocktails they may or may not have ordered…

Charlotte: But it’s fun!

Julia: Yeah it’s about feeling closer to them but it’s also about feeling part of something I think, like there’s this secret hidden meaning that when we do these things we are part of a secret group, like not exclusionary like we are part of something…

Jane: Like we’re in the know, like you go to these places and everyone else just views you as being a bit strange in public maybe or enjoying a nice restaurant for what it is but we’re there like oh thats the seat where they sat…

Julia: Or that’s the corner they took the photo in because we also did this with Jimmy, we went to The Ivy Cafe which we know Jimmy goes to quite a lot

Jane: And he geotags that so…

Julia: Yeah he did geotag that so we didn’t completely stalk him!

Jane: He put it on Instagram so…

Charlotte: He geotagged it and I happen to live close by so we went and it was fun!

Jane: It’s a really nice place actually!

Julia: It’s really nice, but when we were sat there we were like oh that’s the corner he took the photo in and we were matching the artwork and Charlotte went to the toilets and came back and was like I saw the dogs, wait not the dogs, what is it?

Charlotte: The owls! There are owl photos in the bathrooms.

Jane: Honestly if that table of mums hadn’t been there I would have probably gone over there to have a ‘look’ at the paintings on the walls. Oh what a nice painting!

Julia: It’s just a nice feeling about being in the know about something and having an extra meaning to where you are.

Jane: Yeah these places are nice by themselves like going to places in London, but having it be a fan activity is also really nice.

Julia: And it translates to what you buy too, like we all own Dan’s horn hoodie because we were all like it looks really comfy - and it is really comfy - but we all had this feeling of oh now we own something that Dan owns independently, or people who listen to the same music that Dan listens to feel like oh now I feel closer to him because I’m listening to what he’s listening to.

Charlotte: Or like when people who don’t live in the UK want to try Ribena because they talk about Ribena all the time, there is always layers.

Jane: Or maltesers!

Julia: I’ve definitely sent Maltesers to an American friend to be like look this is what they taste like.

Jane: Yeah I’ve given them to friends in other countries before.

Julia: And its nice to have that extra feeling of closeness to them.

Jane: And it's not always something that they’ve directly bought like like a branded item like sometimes you get stuff that just reminds you of them like..

Charlotte: Your compression socks!

Julia: Yeah I was saying earlier, I have to wear compression socks because of part of my health condition and I was looking online for some and there was one that was black with white lines crossing it and another that was red with black dots all over it and they looked exactly like Phil’s ladybird jumper and Dan’s jumper with the lines….

Jane: The grid jumper.

Julia: Yeah and I was like I can’t not buy these, so I now own compression socks that are Dan and Phil related. I’m also crocheting a blanket and I was using this wool that was like black with gold specks and I was looking at it like this is a really Dan object…

Jane: Like his phone case…

Julia: Yeah and then I ran out of wool and needed some more so I needed some more and was like I’m going to buy a blue and green one so it can be a Dan and Phil blanket and like nobody else will know that but to me it has that meaning.

Jane: Yeah I get that sort of thing, it’s like a way to be stealthy fannish.

Julia: Yeah like without it being obvious to other people, but other people in the know might be like…

Jane: And it might just be something you acknowledge to yourself as well, like I’m trying not to mention the fact I bought grey jersey bedding and my partner doesn’t know why I bought it but thinks that it’s cool, and that’s not something that everyone else is going to see, I mean grey is obviously the colour scheme of my house anyway but yeah I have maybe a subtle nod to the bedding that Dan has.

Charlotte: I just love that your partner doesn’t know.

Jane: He likes it though!

Julia: Will he listen to the podcast though because he might know now.

Jane: He listened to the first episode but he might not listen to this one.

Charlotte: Do you think that one of the other things that appeals to people about doing things or buying things that Dan and Phil have is that it keeps them very relatable and very close to us, like for lots of celebrities and even other YouTubers who flaunt their lifestyle the things that they do are so inaccessible so you couldn’t copy your favourite movie star, you couldn’t go to the restaurants that they go to, you couldn’t buy the things they buy because it’s just completely out of your budget and reach? Whereas I think with them, yes they go to some slightly fancier restaurants and yes Dan has some more expensive clothes but they haven’t really changed from when they started.

Julia: It’s their original interests but elevated, like we still love going to the cinema but now we go to a cinema that gives us fancy popcorn.

Jane: Yeah but it’s even like other YouTubers, I won’t name names, but other YouTubers…

Charlotte: You can name names

Jane: Well like Joe Sugg and his ilk, they all go to clubs and they’ll do like the VIP bottle service which fans could never hope to create because unless you have a name you can’t get on that VIP list and you can’t do those things. But yeah like Dan and Phil might go to some fancy restaurants and they might have fans might be priced out of it but it’s not an exclusive experiences, it’s not like you have to be a celebrity to do those things, you can go and do them, they are within reach.

Julia: I think that's probably why they do so well, is that they are still relatable, like you don’t look at them and think OMG they’re rich millionaires even if they are

Jane: I mean I don’t think they’ve changed like we’ve heard it from multiple people that they’re just like really nice and really lovely like regardless of how much money they have or how famous they are or what their numbers are or anything like that.

Charlotte: Yeah like some of the other YouTubers are look look at my flashy cars, look at this etc and these are things you can’t emulate even if you wanted to.

Jane: Whereas Phil is like look at this golden pig that I bought.

(All laugh)

Jane: And nobody wants that.

Charlotte: What is the story behind the golden pigs and the moon room mirror?

Jane: I’m going with the theory.

Charlotte: It just cracks me up like why Phil, why do you need that object.

Jane: Yes.

Charlotte: Although Phil’s just such a good millionaire to be a fan of because he just buys so much crap like you know when you’re on the Internet and your like I wish I could buy this but obviously within my budget I can’t buy this or I can’t afford to pay my bills, well Phil doesn’t have this worry so he sees a pair of slippers made of grass and is like I must have these and there is nothing stopping him. It’s great I can like live vicariously through his weird purchases!

Jane: He is the 3am purchase we all wish we could make.

(All laugh)

Jane: Sorry that sentence was not formed correctly and it sounded like I’m trying to buy Phil at 3am.

Julia: Knowing you you probably are to be honest.

Jane: If I could I would. Amazon prime next day delivery.

Charlotte: Dan would not be pleased about this.

Jane: He could come too!

Julia: Shall we move on?

Charlotte: I don’t know is there anything else we wanted to cover I feel like we’ve missing some of the things we discussed earlier but…

Jane: I think we could probably talk about how we get things because Dan and Phil endorse them by talking about them but they are not an official endorsement but we don’t necessarily feel the same way about their actual brand deals because they don’t feel like they are actually related to Dan and Phil.

Charlotte: I mean we know they’re not, like I’ve downloaded some of the app games they’ve sponned..

Julia: Charlotte means that she downloaded Love Nikki when they uploaded that video like 7 months ago now and plays it every single day and has not missed a day since then.

Charlotte: And has spent quite a lot of money on it. But I don’t relate that to them at all like I know posted that video but they never picked that app up again and I’m under no false impressions that they did, it’s very different when they are doing the brand deals. The only thing I can ever think they had a brand deal with a they use is Crunchyroll. Like I genuinely think they use Crunchyroll.

Julia: Yeah I think there is a difference between it being something that they do in their daily lives and fans picking up on it and them doing a brand deal.

Charlotte: Like for instance, if I had to say what cereal I associate them with whilst they’ve done a brand deal with Krave, I don’t associate cereal with them I think of Jordans Crunchy Crisp or Crunchy Nut Cornflakes because they’re the ones we’ve seen them eat. So it’s a slightly different thing - brand deals vs what we know they use in real life.

Jane: Yeah which is why I think that before there were rules about having to tell people that it was a brand deal that sort of thing worked, I think I’m talking even pre-YouTube when you would just have celebrities drop it into conversation in interviews and stuff that this was the brand of cologne they wear like you know Marilyn Monroe saying she only sleeps in Chanel No.5. or whatever perfume it was, it was aspirational selling because people that people looked up to were using these items and therefore if you had that item you might be able to get that lifestyle or be like that person, or be closer to that person. Whereas now because the rules have changed and they have to tell you that it’s a brand endorsement, it may well get you to click on that app game or check it out just click on the link and download it because they might get better link with that brand or more money for their forever home but the choice to keep that app on your phone is because you have played it and enjoyed it and it’s not I’m doing this because I think Dan and Phil play this game.

Julia: That's very different, it's interesting to me because people want to use influencers to sell their things but in selling their things they are doing it in a very different way to fans that just find something they like because they want to be like Dan and Phil, like I don’t think people or we certainly don’t buy their games or look into what they sell because it’s them that’s doing it we might do it because we are interested in what they are, but when it comes to stalking them or going where they went…

Jane: Stalking them!

Julia: You know what I mean!

Jane: Not literal stalking, please don’t put this in the court of law as evidence

Julia: Not actually stalking, just what we did yesterday like going round doing the DITL, like that has a very different feeling to downloading stuff because they played it.

Jane: And we’re going places that anyone can go, like if they go to somebody's house we’re not just going to force our way inside somebody’s house.

Charlotte:...Welll….

Jane: It’s just going to be where they were so those things are accessible, but I know what you mean like you wouldn’t do things just because they did it because it was them.

Charlotte: Like if it wasn’t something that they opted to do themselves. It’s a bit different when we know they are being paid to do it. Like I’ve downloaded all the app games but i don’t really associate them with Dan and Phil anymore.

Jane: But that’s not to say I resent YouTubers or anyone else for doing brand deals

Charlotte: Well it is a good portion of their income so for a lot of them

Jane: And I have had things recommended to me and I’ve been like this is good, and I’m glad that that happened

Charlotte: Yeah I’ve watched a few more like lifestyle vloggers recently and I’ve actually bought a couple of things on their recommendation so I guess maybe I’m just not the brand audience that Dan and Phil are targeting some of these games at maybe I’m not the ideal customer.

Jane: I mean we are slightly outside of their demographic

Charlotte: At least for their paid brand deals.

Jane: So with recommendations of things in mind, should we move onto our recommendations for fanfiction?

Julia: That is a smooth way to get into it!

Jane: Smooth segway.

Julia: Yeah let's move onto our fic recs.

56.50 Fanfic Recommendations

Jane: So we have a bit of a theme for fic recs for this month, but then we’re also going to give some that we’ve been enjoyed recently, but the theme is when Dan and Phil are tourists or when they are not in London or Manchester or somewhere we would say is home for them in whatever universe that happens to be in the fic.

Julia: So I’ll say mine first I picked two that fit with the theme where they are tourists, one ‘So Many Stars’ by @transdimensional-void which is a really long fic that is really slow burn but it’s my most reread fic in this fandom I just went through this phase where it was all that I read and all that I talked about and I absolutely loved it to pieces. The rough premise is that Dan and Phil are teachers in Japan, Dan is new there and Phil has been there a while, Phil is actually in a relationship with somebody else when Dan turns up and it’s his feelings about Phil and Phil suddenly realises he has feelings for Dan and it’s an exploration of their relationship. Plus the descriptions of Japan made me want to go there even more than I already wanted to so I think that was successful.

Jane: I think two scenes really stay with me from that fic, and it was a while ago that I read it, but it was one with the hot springs I believe and then there was one where they go on a trip or something...an educational trip? And they are in a room and they put the sleeping mats down

Julia: Yes!

Jane: And they are far apart and then they get closer. Those two scenes stick with me because I think the descriptions are really immersive.

Julia: Yeah I think the writing is really exceptional in the way that the author describes the scenes, like I have a really clear picture of that fic when I think about it.

So that’s one of my recs, my other fic rec is ‘Letters in Bold’ by snsk who I’m aware that I recced last time but I just really love their work, I just think their writing is really good. This one is set in Malaysia I believe, and it’s a really lovely, fluffy fic - it’s a proposal fic but more than that it’s just an exploration of Dan and Phil’s relationship and they are so in character in it, I was rereading it earlier just to remind myself and they were so in character, I was giggling and laughing as I read it. I could hear their voices in it and it’s like a calming, warm fuzzy blanket fic. It’s just so warm and soft and lovely.

Jane: Is that the one of the beach with the shell?

Julia: Yes!

Jane: I remember it, it’s a good one.

Julia: I just think it’s really warm and happy. Charlotte do you want to do yours?

Charlotte: Yeah my tourist ones, so my first one is not just one fic it’s actually a series…

Jane: Always with the loopholes!

Charlotte: I’ll pick two out of it commonemergency or @nihilismdan‘s ‘as is ever so on the road’ which is their tour fic series that they’ve been doing and there is something about the way they get inside Dan’s head, like not just even in this tour series but in all of their fics - sorry I’m really just going outside the recs her - but it is just perfect and I love it, but particularly ‘confide in the low light’ which is set in Russia and the most recent one which was set in Vancouver which was ‘give me one night (you’re going to see me in a new light’ which was a really good exploration of Dan sort of coming to terms with tour winding down and thinking about the future, it was just really perfect and so I’m really, really enjoying that series

My second one is for travel and tourist is, well it’s not really travelling as much but it’s Campfire by @waveydnp

Jane: Loophole!

Charlotte: Shh! They go camping, I don’t know how far from Manchester it is but they are definitely not in Manchester. So it was written for one of the fic fests I think and I really like it because it’s 2010 them and ridiculously in love, and when I first saw it i was thinking Dan and Phil and camping?!? Can’t really envision this but it’s exactly what would happen if Dan and Phil went camping and were struggling to put up the tent and everything just being a bit of a fail because they are not outdoor humans, and also I love any fic that explores relationships with Phil’s parent’s and Dan so I do quite like that as a background to the fic. And what about you Jane?

Jane: So my first one is ‘Slumbering Heart’ by @cosmogenies, I think I’m pronouncing that correctly. So it’s sort of a slice of life fic where they are on holiday, well Dan is on holiday with the Lester clan and Phil’s got some sunburn then they go for a walk along the boardwalk and they get some fried dough and there are a lot of themes of Dan not being able to express what he is feeling at that moment and Martyn and Cornelia are there and there’s a lot of parallels drawn between the two and there’s some illicit hand-holding in public and how Dan feels about that and it being an act of bravery where it shouldn’t be and it’s really just a nice piece that explores their through processes in this tiny moment between them in Florida.

My second one is ‘english countryside - 08.25.17’ by @nihilist-toothpaste, this is a really introspective piece from Dan’s point of view whilst on a train journey from Edinburgh back home and it’s written in three parts and it’s detailing the exact train trip that you would go on. I think there are two that you could take from Edinburgh back down to London and this one goes along the coast and it’s early morning and there’s footsey, and Dan’s journaling and Phil’s trying to give him privacy to do that whilst reminding him that he is there, and they listen to some music together and it’s just really calming and the imagery in it is really lovely. There’s also this moment in it sort of towards the end where Phil’s taken a photo of Dan looking out the window and he toys with the idea of putting it on his Instagram and he relates back to how he did it in Singapore, how he just put a photo of Dan on his Instagram, and I was just rereading it today so I could talk about it on the podcast and it reminded me they do that all the time now…

Charlotte: Yeah it’s changed!

Julia: It’s normal now.

Jane: It’s not an event for Phil to share a picture of Dan on his instagram or vice versa, they do it all the time.

Julia: It’s interesting how they’ve moved on.

Charlotte: I mean literally they went to Russia and Dan was like here’s some site seeing things and here’s Phil on an escalator, like this doesn’t even have anything touristy in the background, this is just Phil on an escalator.

Julia: Yeah like them appearing on each other’s instagrams now is so normal now, like you don’t even question it when it is just the other person.

Jane: I think the stories allow for them to do that a little more, plus like I love how we know now unless it’s very obviously a selfie that we know that the other one has take it!

Charlotte: I just love that moment in the background of one of Tomska’s vlogs where Phil’s taking the pictures of Dan and he’s just moving his head around and Tom is just like I can’t, I can’t with these two.

Julia: That’s a good moment.

Jane: Also when they are on the top of the mountain in the first one, where are they?

Charlotte: Denver.

Jane: Was it Denver?

Charlotte: Yeah it was when there was Sarah and Martyn up there.

Jane: Yeah and they go up the thing and Dan’s doing a video but Phil doesn’t know he’s doing a video and he’s all like sit on the rock, do the thing, so that’s obviously a normal interaction if Phil didn’t clock that Dan was doing that for a video.

Charlotte: It’s quite sweet.

Julia: It’s a good moment.

Charlotte: So Julia, what was your favourite current fic?

Jane: Or one that you are enjoying at the moment.

Julia: One that I’m enjoying at the moment is Flares by @huphilpuffs, which I’m only a couple of chapters into so far so I don’t completely know the whole plot but I am really enjoying it and the writing is really immersive. Also, for me personally I find it quite relatable because in it Dan suffers from fibromyalgia and it’s basically an exploration of him leaving university because of his Fibro and not being able to work well even though he does get a job but he’s struggling and Phil comes along as his roommate and Phil’s kind of the only one that understands a little bit what he’s going through and actually tries to help him. And I suffer from M.E. which is really similar to fibromyalgia so it really nice to read a fic where some of my issues that you don’t normally read about suddenly come up and it’s wonderfully written as well and I think the characterisation is really good, like I really like the way that she is exploring Dan so I would definitely rec that to anyone whether you have a chronic illness or not.

Jane: It’s nearly finished isn’t it?

Julia: I think so.

Jane: I can’t wait, because then I’m going to read it all.

Charlotte: There is also a good time stamp - the pride one - for it as well.

Jane: Oh yeah that’s in the same universe isn’t it.

Charlotte: Yeah that's in the same universe and had a really cute ending.

Jane: I didn’t read it because I was waiting for Flares to be finished.

Charlotte: Remember to go back and read it, it’s definitely worth it.

Jane: We’ll put notes to both in the show notes. I don’t know why I pointed downwards, we’re not on YouTube.

Charlotte: No we’re not on YouTube.

Julia: So Charlotte what about you?

Charlotte: So my current fave, I’ve realised we’re reccing the same author is by @transdimensional-void as well and was actually finished this morning and it’s called Wifey. It’s a genderswap one that deals with transphobia where Dan is trans or gender non-binary and Phil is a girl and they both work at a Mall, Dan or Dani work at the MAC store and Phil works at the apple store and they end up meeting on their lunch break. But it's interesting because it plays with, well they don’t do YouTube but it’s not their full time careers but by the end of it they have both sort of cemented their relationship, it’s their first good and healthy relationship with one another and also gone if in a different direction with their careers and it uses lots of canon details. I finished that this morning and I’d totally recommend that to anyone but I’m also going to be cheeky and say @waveydnp Dee and Fi series.

Jane: I love that one.

Charlotte: I’m just really enjoying this trend in fandom to play with gender a little more and I really hope that we see a bit more because I love thinking about Dan and Phil and bringing gender into the question brings up many questions like what would be the situation, what would be the impact that it has and I think that's fascinating.

Jane: I think the Dee and Fi does that, like they are literally YouTubers in that, they just happen to be women, like nothing else has changed yet so many things have changed like how their audience interacts with them, views them, how popular they are and I think it is a bit of a commentary on our society and how we view things like that. Yeah it’s really good.

Julia: So Jane, what about yours?

Jane: Mine is Love Yourself by @imnotinclinedtomaturity, so it's not finished yet but Dan a musician and Phil is a YouTube/barista and works in a local coffee shop just down the stairs from Dan’s flat and it has all of the things that you would expect from that dynamic. Dan’s in a relationship at the start with a really awful woman and things slowly develop over time and it’s just one of those fics that you sort of just know what you are getting and it’s really, really good and I’m really enjoying it, it’s just really fun to have something like that. Plus it’s really well written and the chapters are really long so whenever I get a chapter in my inbox and I’m like excited that I’ve got that to read later. And there's lots of cute things and we’re getting to a really good part.

Julia: Yeah I keep seeing that one come by on my Tumblr dash and meaning to click on it.

Jane: Yeah it is really good and we’re all eagerly awaiting to find out what the album is going to be that Dan’s writing, it’s really good. So that’s what I’m enjoying at the moment.

1.08.31 What We Are Looking Forward To & Goodbye

Jane: So that’s it for this episode.

Julia: Yeah that is it for this episode but we will be back next month and we’re looking forward to whatever else is going to happen this month with Dan and Phil, what kind of things are we expecting?

Charlotte: Well the end of the tour, I’m hoping now they’ve got a much slower schedule they might do a little more touristy stuff on the way and especially since they are going to countries that Phil’s not travelled to before, and Martyn and Cornelia have joined them instead of the other merch team, because everyone else has headed home but now we have Martyn and Cornelias so hopefully we’ll get a few more touristy, hanging out as couples dates.

Julia: Seeing what else happens with the tour and how it ends will be interesting I think and how they make is accessible for everyone.

Charlotte: And finally getting back to our timezone!

Julia: Yes!

Charlotte: That’s going to be good!

Julia: Although I am enjoying waking up to them doing things

Charlotte: Yeah it is nice to have Instagram stories every morning.

Jane: Yeah it is, we might by the time we have the next episode know where the filmed show is going to be released.

Julia: That’s true.

Charlotte: Oh and isn’t there a second gaming video that had already been filmed that they talked about in the last live show? They mentioned the Sims and then they mentioned something else as well.

Jane: Oh did they?

Charlotte: So I’m assuming there is a new gaming video very, very soon.

Julia: Which is exciting.

Jane: There will probably be some more live shows because they still haven’t announced the winners of the giveaway yet.

Charlotte: This is true.

Julia: Liveshows will continue to be a mess.

Jane: I’m interested to see how the shout-outs will work, I thought they’d just start doing them at the end of gaming videos the way that they have been but maybe they’re going to do them main channel, I don’t know. We’ll see, we’ll see how that goes.

Charlotte: So next topic that we’re going to look at will be fandom and the fourth wall.

Julia: Yes so we’ll be looking at how much Dan and Phil should know about what we’re doing and where the line should be where they don’t know what we are doing

Jane: And equally how much we should know about what they are doing I suppose.

Charlotte: I think it works both ways, so we’ll be recording that and our minisode where we’ll be talking about..

Jane: RPF and consent

Charlotte: Yeah from Amber’s email.

Jane: Yeah, so that’s it.

Julia: But there will be more from us.

Charlotte: So if you have any questions or comments, asks or anything from this episode you can send them on email, on Tumblr or tweet them to us, and if you want to record an audio clip we can put it in the next episode and likewise if you have any thoughts about fandom and the fourth wall you want to share with us beforehand you can send them to us

Julia: Yeah we’d love to hear from you and we’ll include as many people as possible - probably everyone to be honest.

Jane: So that’s it, thank you very much for listening and we’ll see you next month, bye!

Charlotte: Bye!

Julia: Bye!

#transcript #the phancast #podcast

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blodkru · 6 years

Text

You Could Have Done So Much

Linctavia fic. Hamilton inspired.

This is something I wrote while rewatching season 3 today. I needed it and for season 4 and 5 to not exist for a very brief moment. It’s more or less a bunch of thoughts at once and I apologize if it doesn’t make sense. If you’re tagged and don’t want to be, I’d appreciate a RB but I understand if you don’t or don’t like it.

Word count: 3015

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I finally stopped crying.

She writes the words down with shaking fingers. It hurts just as much as it did the first time she ever wrote in the journal. It doesn’t get better, much to everyone’s disagreement. She’s tired of hearing it really. But she let’s them hope she will be okay, eventually, that she’ll be able to be herself again. But it’s only been 3 years.

Or already 3 years depending how you see it.

3 years since A. L. I.E. Since Roan became King of both Azgeda and the 13 Clans. She’s surprised how well he’s done. But then again, he’s doing what he said he would. He hasn’t lied since he became King. At least, not to Spacekru. Part of her is glad he’s done so well. Clarke becoming a Nightblood had complicated things but only temporarily. Once she found out A. L. I.E. had been lying about the nuclear plants, Clarke wanted nothing to do with being a leader. Octavia had expected her to go back to Floukru with Luna. Something in her had changed once Lexa died; Octavia can’t blame her. Something in her died the day he died. And she wasn’t a leader. Sure, Skairipa was someone people looked up to. But thankfully not to the extent they did Wanheda.

The last she did hear from Clarke, she was in Polis on an ambassador visit. With Bellamy. She wished the two of them would get it over with and become official. Everyone in the 100 wanted them to be together, she wanted them together, even those in Arkadia could see it. If Finn, Lexa, Gina, and Echo couldn’t get in the way then maybe they needed to get it together. Get together.

But it’s never that easy and she knows it.

It had been a full 2 years since she had been in Arkadia, refusing to go there after everything. Seeing the faces of those who all but caused the disasters that happened was nearly impossible. Even seeing Monty’s always kind face was difficult at first. He and Harper did their best to soothe the nightmares she had; more than once she woke to the woman’s concerned face and let herself be comforted. Bellamy would have done the same if she allowed him near her. He was her brother but part of her would never forgive him. He had come to understand that.

But he did send her off with one hug. She couldn’t stay in Arkadia, she needed to leave and find herself. “I love you, O.” He had squeezed her tight and she nodded into his shoulder. She hadn’t been able to make herself respond. She held on for a moment longer before mounting a new horse she came across- Icarus, she named him- and left. Monty had given her a satchel full of just about any medication she would need. And moonshine, of course. Raven gave her a small radio she could use if she ever was in trouble.

“Or if you miss us.” The brunette had shrugged. Octavia had taken it hesitantly. She wasn’t sure if she would ever use it; trouble or not. Abby gave her more medication and told her to please be safe. Even Clarke had sent her off. She had simply told her to be safe and if she was ever in need of supplies, Nylah would never charge her for them at the trading post.

2 years had felt like so much and no time all at once. She of course had seen her friends and brother since then. Once every 3 or 4 months they would run into each other in one place or another. Mainly the trading post. She quickly figured out Nylah would let Spacekru know when she would be at the post for more than 1 day. They would show up only hours later. Part of her wanted to hate the woman for doing so. But she couldn’t, not with every kind and knowing word she would say.

I spoke to the last of your friends yesterday. You left a journal with him, too.

Since leaving Arkadia, Octavia had traveled. With boarders being less of a factor now- and people fearing Skairipa- she was able to go nearly wherever she pleased. She decided on tracking down any and everyone who knew him. It was hard, much harder than she even thought possible, but she managed. She started with Indra.

“He was a great healer, Octavia. You know just as I do.” Getting the warrior to open up had been difficult in its own way. Octavia pleaded with her multiple times; had sat outside her hut for three days until Indra relented. Indra had watched him grow up, they were both Trikru after all. He had grown kinder than other boys; he hadn’t wanted to be a warrior. Much to his father’s chagrin. His mother died when he was only 6 years old from a disease that took a dozen or so others with her. Since then, he had wanted to be a healer and help others. Especially since the man in the ship who his father made him kill. Octavia had left more than satisfied. She wrote everything down in the same journal he had given her.

She couldn’t bring herself to ever lose it.

She found others soon after Indra. The woman had let slip that Octavia was looking for others who could tell her about him. Friends of his came out of nowhere. As far as Octavia had known, he didn’t have many friends. But people did know about him. Many men, woman, even one or two children sought out the infamous killer from the sky. The told her stories, times he had helped them. Sickness, injury, anything. If he was needed, he would help.

It wasn’t long before she found out he would leave journals with these people. Much like the one she had; drawings, notes, medicine ingredients littered the pages. The all too familiar handwriting was like a blessing each time she would meet someone who had one. More than not, they would give them to her. The first woman had all but shoved it into her hand. She refused to keep it, claiming she had memorized everything she needed, and Octavia should have it. Everyone knew of the grounder and sky girl who fell in love. They wanted to help the love story in some capacity. She hardly slept. She stayed awake days at a time just reading everything he wrote. It took her almost the full two years since she left to find them all.

The last notebook came in the form of a young man on the outskirts of Trishanakru. Him, his parents, and brothers. They had also heard of the girl seeking notebooks from her lost love. The mother had greeted her with a hug Octavia tried to keep away from. The father asked her to stay for dinner and rest in their spare shed. “Even killers such as yourself need rest.” She had grimaced and politely declined. Only when she was given the last journal did she change her mind.

He cornered her just as she was about to mount Icarus. “Wait!” He came running out of the home and up to her. He held out a notebook a little smaller than the others. “Stay, please. I want you to have this and please stay. Just for the night.” She had taken the book and flipped to the front page. Handwriting she would know anywhere met her. She held the book to her chest as she considered the offer.

She accepted.

You wrote so much. I’m surprised you didn’t write books. Encyclopedias even. Some of it makes no sense to me- what even is a pomegranate? I wish you could explain it to me.

Making her way back to Polis had been a hard decision.

But word had spread that King Roan was having the leaders and ambassadors of every Clan meet. She wasn’t part of a Clan anymore…was she? Two years on her, going here or there, led her to feeling like she belonged in no clan. Nokru. A Clan of one. She decided to go there and see what the meeting was about.

She hadn’t expected to come back to the mess she did. Then again, everywhere seemed to be a mess really. Something was always going wrong. She arrived in Polis the day of the meeting. The city had been surprisingly quiet as she entered. Even Icarus seemed uneasy. When she came to the tower, it was almost like they were expecting her. She left her horse there but took her bag. It held every single notebook she had managed to find, and she refused to be separated from it. She walked right up to the war counsel room and entered without a second thought. All 13 Clan leaders and ambassadors surrounded the center table.

“Octavia?” Of course, her brother had been there. He had grown a not too shabby beard and looked less tired than the last time she’d seen him. Clarke hung by his side; it took Octavia seconds to realize they held hands. She bit back the smile that almost surfaced.

“Skairipa, nice of you to join us.” Roan addressed her. She nodded at him and was pleased to see Indra to his right. She hadn’t seen the woman in over a year. Octavia weaved through the bodies in the room and came to stand next to Indra. The older woman welcomed her at her side. “As I was saying, about the attacks.” Roan continued what they had been discussing. Octavia scanned the small crowd for faces she knew. Bellamy and Clarke, Kane and Abby, two or three ambassadors from neighboring Clans, Echo (the woman’s face made her want to gouge out her eyes). To her surprise, Luna had been there. The curly haired woman met her eyes with a sad stricken face.

Octavia found out quickly how dire the situation was. A group of rogue Grounders were slaughtering villages. They killed anyone just for the food and shelter. Many children were left orphaned and starving. Three parties were being sent out: one to find and bring the children to Polis, another to provide medical care to any they found, and the last to stop the rogues. Octavia didn’t hesitate to volunteer for the last one. Along with nearly half the group. It was decided Skaikru would lead the medical party. With Clarke and Abby as the only doctors in the group. The scout party would be led by Indra and Luna, along with an ambassador from Trishanakru and Podakru.

Roan and Echo would lead the kill squad. Octavia had bit her tongue about Echo. Roan had nearly banished her for betraying Skaikru and attempting to kill Octavia. How could anyone trust her now? It didn’t matter in the end. The found the men who were behind the killings and heresy. They found them camped out near Arkadia of all places. There were more casualties than Octavia had wanted. She left the battle bruised and bloody; nothing unusual. Bellamy had broken his hand beating the living hell out of one man. Even Roan walked away with a broken nose and bruised ribs. But the men had been caught and dealt with in a more humane way than Octavia had wanted.

With the men taken care of, they had found some people had been kept as prisoners. Specifically young girls. Octavia had been disgusted and set them free with Echo’s help. The girl’s and woman cried and thanked them as they were led to safety. Octavia refused to accept the praise. Echo had shrugged and told her she should accept it. “You saved their lives. Who knows what would have happened to them if we hadn’t found them in time.” Malice echoed her words. Octavia reciprocated her anger. For once, she was glad to be back in battle. Blood, bruises, and everything that came with it.

I think you would be proud of me. I killed for a cause this time, saved people. You should have seen how many people there were. So many little girls who didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t just leave, right?

One little girl attaches herself to Octavia. Her hair was deep brown with dozens of braids. Her skin such a familiar sepia it was almost odd. Her eyes are what got Octavia. The light brown made the hardened warrior melt. The little girl had appeared by her side one day a week after the incident. She sat on the floor next to Octavia’s feet and stayed there the whole time Octavia spoke to Clarke. The older of the two had been checking up on her injuries when suddenly, there was a child. Neither thought much of it as the infirmary was crowded with injured and scared children. But when Octavia tried to leave, the little girl had gotten up and followed. Octavia thought it was odd to say the least.

“Maybe she likes you. You are well known, after all.” Clarke had shrugged and left the two. The little girl couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. She wore simple black pants and a shirt and looked like she needed a bath. And shoes. Her tiny feet were bare and red. Octavia had looked around petrified for a moment. Who was this child? Why was she following her?

“What’s your name?” She finally spoke to the girl.

You’d like her, Linc. She looks so much like you it had me almost in tears all over again. She even acts like you I have to think you had a secret child you never told me about. She’s quiet but loves learning. Especially about medicine and healing. She spends almost as much time with Clarke and Abby as she does me. Bellamy likes her and thinks she’s good for me. Just like you were. But her eyes are what get me the most. I don’t think I’ve been able to look her in the eyes without almost breaking down. I think she understands, though. She asks about you. Who you were, what you were like, why you wrote so much. I tell her everything. About you, you saving me when I fell off that damn embankment. You helping Skaikru. Arkadia. Even about us almost escaping to Luna. She likes that story the best. I do too. Sometimes she tells me to rewrite it like we did make it. I haven’t been able to. For now, she likes reading your journals and learning everything you’ve taught everyone else. What you taught me.

Octavia sits in front of a fire. It’s been another 2 years. 2 years since the last entry she had written. She has all the journals still and reads them frequently. More than she did any mythology book Bellamy gave her. She reads them to Rory mostly. The little girl she’s come to love is now 9 and still loves bedtime stories. Love. Octavia doesn’t know how the word snuck its way back into her life but it did. Along with every emotion and heartache that came with it. She wouldn’t change it for anything.

Since Polis, she continued traveling. Only this time she had a purpose. She became a tracker and map maker. There had to be more of the world than the small area of TonDC and Azgeda. The desert could surely only go on for so long. So, when Roan approached her with plans to seek the West, Octavia took the job happily. Rory would come with her along with anyone else she wanted to take. She had been hesitant to take anyone else. Only when Indra and Bellamy found out her plan to leave at night did she allow others to come. Bellamy brought Clarke, of course. Indra brought Gaia. It was startling to see the Flame Keeper after so many years. She had chopped her hair off and wore more warrior type clothing like her mother.

Together, the group of 6 found life in parts of the world they never thought possible.

Octavia looked up at the sky and down to the body in front of her. Rory lay between her legs with her head resting on Octavia’s chest. She kept her legs tight around the girl, always afraid of letting her go. Bellamy and Clarke were fast asleep on the other side of the fire. Indra and Gaia are looking at maps and writing down everything they’ve come across. They don’t seem to notice Octavia as she looks at her makeshift family.

Family is a word she never thought would be in life again. After losing her mother, Lincoln, almost Bellamy, and even herself. But she has her odd family now and wouldn’t give it up for anything. There was only one person missing from it. But he was there, as long as Octavia continued to read his journals and tell his stories. Their stories. Soon to be Rory and the rest of the family’s stories. They’ve formed their own nomad Kru now. The name was hard for her to get use to, but she knew Rory meant well when they all discussed it. It was to honor him.

He would live on and he would be there with her.

Though I can’t wait to see you again, I know I have to keep living. For Bellamy, for Rory. Even for Clarke, Indra, and Gaia. We’ve found so much I can’t wait to tell you about it all. I’ve started writing in my own journals since this one is becoming a little worse for wear. Rory still reads them and can quote front to back. I hope you’re watching somewhere. I hope you can see me and what I’m doing for our people, for the world. For you. I think this will be my last entry in this journal. Hopefully by the time I pass these on, the words won’t be faded or total nonsense. It’s only a matter of time.

May we meet again.

Octavia kom Linckru.

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Tagged (I hope you guys liked it?)

@and-now-youre-home @madigriffen @gardenofstories @miles-ezekiel @bellarke-stydia-olicity

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