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roanniom · 2 years

Note

i doubt it helps, but i also think eddie is the type to try to be respectful at a family holiday party but ultimately end up wanting to fuck you in a guest room or finger you in a closet at the very least 🫠

Hahahahaha this made it so much worse in the best possible way, I love you anon.

Bad for the Holidays

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Note: I wrote most of this in my childhood bedroom while visiting home for thanksgiving. So this got very real, guys Lmao

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY!, teasing, dirty talk, pet names (Princess, bad girl, baby girl), alcohol consumption, oral sex (m receiving), PIV sex / unprotected sex, hand job, cum eating, semi public sex? (Your family is in the same house at the time)

Eddie Munson never thought he’d find himself at a holiday party straight out of a fucking Norman Rockwell painting, but then again he’d never thought he’d meet someone like you. Someone funny and kind and intelligent while simultaneously cool as hell and hot as hell. You’re everything he’d never let himself hope for, and he’s nothing like what he believes you deserve. Not that you listen to him when he voices his fears over not being good enough for you.

“Stop fidgeting, Eddie. This isn’t a big deal,” you whisper to him as the two of you stand on your door step. You pry open his tense fist to hold his hand in yours and he takes a deep breath, looking down at your smile. “They’re gonna love you.”

“Yeah but what if…what if they don’t?” Eddie mumbles. His brow is furrowed and his lips pout and all you want to do is kiss his frown away. But you know there’s no time for that. So you shake your head and squeeze his hand.

“I love you, so that’s all that matters,” you reassure him. “But this conversation is silly because they’re gonna love you.”

And you’re right. Of course. How could people not love Eddie? Especially people who loved you and who wanted to see you happy. And Eddie makes you the happiest you’ve ever been, and that just radiates off you when you walk into the room, proud to show off your boyfriend.

Eddie’s rough around the edges when you first meet him, sure. But he’s gone to great lengths to appear even more presentable than usual tonight, wearing a clean black button down and black jeans that don’t even have any holes in the knees. Before long, and exactly as you knew would happen, Eddie’s regaling your extended family with stories about his friends back in Hawkins and about life on tour as an up snd coming musician.

It’s pretty late by the time things start winding down. The dinner’s long done, your parents have gone to sleep and most of the older family members have puttered off with leftovers in tow. That’s just left you and Eddie with the crowd closer to your age - and amalgamation of cousins and friends of the family in their early to mid twenties. You all play a few rounds of board games and a few glasses of wine deep, Eddie starts looking way more appetizing than the holiday dinner.

You stare at him over your wine glass as one of your cousins prattle’s on about some drama going on at her job. But you can barely hear her because you’re watching Eddie pal around with Josh, your neighbor who you’d crushed on growing up. Next to Eddie, neighbor boy is absolutely nothing, an observation you make silently and with pride. Your boyfriend has an easy air to him, lounging back against the couch as he speaks, legs spread wide and casual. He looks completely at ease, comfortable in his spread out position. If you weren’t still in front of family you’d walk right over there and straddle him there and then. You lick your lips and silently hate him for the way he’s done absolutely nothing and yet has fully managed to get you salivating from afar. It’s unfair.

You couldn’t possibly know, however, just how much you’ve been driving him crazy all night. Bending over to pick things up in your tight little party dress. Munching on appetizers behind your red lips, licking your fingers clean of any crumbs or sauce. Pushing up against him when the two of you passed through narrow hallways and through crowded parts of the house.

He’s been working so hard not to pop an erection in this, the most inappropriate of venues, that he’s spent the last half hour practically avoiding you. When he looks up from his conversation with your boring neighbor, however, just to find you fucking him with your eyes from across the room, he thinks he’s going to combust.

You notice him frown when you finally catch his eye, but you don’t care enough to wonder what’s bothering him. Instead you wink at him - making his jaw drop - before raising your arms in a theatrical stretch with a matching dramatic yawn.

“God, I’m beat. Got a long drive home tomorrow,” you say to nobody in particular. Friends and family try to protest but you jump up and haul Eddie along after you, dragging him out the door.

When you finally make it to your childhood bedroom, you push Eddie towards the bed and lock the door all in one swift motion. You’ve kicked off your shoes and you’re reaching for the zipper of your dress before Eddie’s grabbing at your hips to stop you.

“What in the world are you doing?” he asks through gritted teeth, panic in his eyes. He’s sitting on your bed with you standing in front of him, his hands holding your wrists motionless to halt your effort to disrobe.

“I…I’m trying to get naked. And you should be doing the same,” you reply. Confused by the question in the first place. Eddie gazes up at you with. Wide eyes.

“But your family is like…right outside.”

“So?” you ask, now genuinely confused.

“And you’re tryna…you want to…”

“Fuck. I wanna fuck you. What’s the problem?” You let out an incredulous laugh. His grip loosens on your wrists so you circle your arms around his neck, massaging his shoulders. He seems to grapple for words so you continue to speak. “I don’t get it. You fuck me with my roommates in the next room all the time!”

“First of all, Nancy and Robin have made us listen to them having sex all the time and you know it,” he huffs immediately, but then returns to looking stressed. “And I’m friend with them. I don’t need to impress them…”

Your heart flips at the sentiment but you shake your head.

“You don’t need to impress anyone here either,” you argue, but Eddie’s having none of it. He springs to his feet in front of you, gripping your waist to pull you against him.

“That’s not fucking true and you know it, Princess.” He runs an aggravated hand through his curly hair. “I’m a freak. Your family wants - at least they should want - someone better for you than—,”

“Shut up. Shut up shut up,” you hiss, smacking his chest lightly with your open palm. “Nobody here knows your reputation from Hawkins, and even if they did, it wouldn’t matter because I’m fucking head over heels for you. You got that?”

“Yes ma’am,” Eddie says weakly, the ghost of a smile starting to curl at the corners of his mouth at how worked up you got all of us sudden.

“Now,” you say definitively, taking a step back to put your hands on your hips and take a deep breath. “I had three glasses of wine and I’m feeling…” you cast about for the right word and not being able to remember the word ‘horny’ you say the next best thing you can think of “…frisky. So you’re going to shut up and fuck me, snd you’re going to like it. Understand.”

Eddie looks dumbfounded, gazing at you with a mix of adoration, awe, and humor. He nods emphatically and you take another shuddering breath.

“Ok good. Help me take my clothes off.”

You expect him to crowd you. To throw you on the bed and rip off your dress and be on you so fast you barely see him coming.

Instead he walks over to you slowly, his eyes dark and lips pulled into a small smile. He steps around you to find the zipper you’d struggle with, lips finding the back of your neck as he pushes the zip all the way down to the curve of your lower back. He kisses his way over your shoulder as he pushes the fabric down and off your body. You shiver under his lips and the cool air you’re now exposed to. His hands find the front clasp of your bra - after making a pitstop to squeeze your breasts - and soon your bra joins your dress on the floor.

Eddie mouths at the side of your throat now as his hands grope every square inch he can reach, the bulge in his jeans pressing into your ass through the thin fabric of your panties.

It’s Heaven. Or close. The only thing is that it is noticeably, deafeningly quiet.

“W-why - oh. Why aren’t you saying anything?” you mumble out. Eddie chuckles against your skin and hips at your ear lobe.

“Told me to shut up,” he whispers. His hand slides forward to cup your mound and you swallow a moan.

“Oh so now you listen to what I tell you,” you bristle. Eddie’s chuckle vibrates through you again and you grind back against him intentionally. You grab his hand and shove it into your panties, no longer satisfied being touched through the fabric.

“I forgot. My baby’s feeling…frisky.” His voice is low and rich with amusement and sensuality. You huff but don’t protest because his big, thick fingers are finally where you wanted them all night. Swirling through your slick, his middle finger prodding at your entrance but not yet pushing in.

You try to step forward to urge him toward the bed, but Eddie pushes you to the side, his free hand coming to brace up against the wall in front of you.

“Not so fast. That bed is squeaky as hell,” he mutters between kisses to your shoulder.

“Well yeah. It’s almost as old as me,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, and you squeak under me all the time too, Princess.” You go to roll your eyes again at his cocky tone but the quickly roll back into your head as he shoves not one but two fingers into your tight heat. You let out a high pitched squeal that you do your best to smother with your hand and he laughs. “See? What did I tell you?”

You don’t say anything at first because you’re so lost in the feeling of finally getting what you want. Eddie leans his weight against you as he picks up momentum with his hand, and you find your front getting pressed up against the wall.

“Needed you aaaaaall fucking day, Princess. You’re absolutely infuriating,” Eddie says raggedly into the back of your neck. His fingers hook up and you gasp at the added pleasure.

“How am I - oh god. In…infuriating?” you barely manage to ask in response.

“Tried to be on my best behavior. But you had to prance around looking like a fucking wet dream, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t do anything…” you try to argue, but Eddie snaps the waistband of your panties, stretched out as they are from his fingering, and you flinch.

“Oh yeah? Then why did I know the color of your panties by the time we started dinner?”

He’s right of course. You’d been intentionally finding reasons to bend over in front of him, or cross and uncross your legs in front of him - anything to draw his attention between your thighs. As if his attention was ever anywhere else to begin with.

“Wanted to make me slip up, huh? Wanted me to drag you into the bathroom in the middle of dinner and fuck your brains out?”

“Yes!” you gasp, though you’re less sure that you’re affirming his statement and more sure that your orgasm is fast approaching. “Oh fuck, Eddie.”

“Bend over,” he says suddenly. His voice is more demanding than usual and a thrill runs up your spine. He steps back and gives you room, which you use to shuffle a bit to the side and lean over, bracing your palms against the seat of an old wicker chair you’ve had in your room since elementary school. With your ass up, you half worry that Eddie will forget where you are and spank you loudly, but he seems to remember and opts to grope you instead. He slides your panties to your ankles and you step out of them, widening your stance in a way that has him humming appreciatively behind you.

You steal a glance over your shoulder to confirm the suspicion that he is, in fact, fisting his hard cock, staring at your ready pussy and lining himself up.

“You play the good girl so well, but you’re just a bad girl for me, isn’t that right Princess?” Eddie asks as he pushes the tip of his cock in a circle around your aching entrance. You whine at the fact that he’s not yet inside you, trying to push back to make him slide in. Eddie laughs and grips you by your hips, hauling them higher and making your knees shake. “Look at you. Not even listening because you want my cock that bad.”

You toss a glare over your shoulder at him.

“Eddie if you don’t get inside me right - fuck!” You hiss through your teeth when he slides all the way into you at once. One hand slides down the small of your back, up your spine, to grip solidly at the back of your neck as he wastes absolutely no time getting a good pace going.

The slap of skin on skin ringing out in your small childhood bedroom is absolutely obscene, as are the whimpers that spill out of you despite your best efforts.

“Eddie…so fucking - oh!”

You’re trying to tell him how good he’s making you feel, but you’re sure he’s able to gather that from the way you’re completely unable to finish your statement. Eddie’s chuckle vibrates into your body and you reach back one hand to clutch at his where it holds you at your hip.

“Feels good, baby? Hm?” he asks, almost mockingly but you can’t muster enough energy to reply in any way aside from genuine.

“Feels so good, Eds,” you whimper. Despite his teasing, the way you’re scrabbling to make contact with him tugs at his heartstrings. He lifts his hand up from your hip enough to grab your reaching one.

“Christ, even when you’re a bad girl, you’re still so fucking sweet,” he mumbles, leaning down over you to press bruising kisses to your back and shoulders. You pant beneath him and relish in the additional contact.

“Eddie…mmm Eddie. So full.”

“Fuck. You can’t say shit like that when you haven’t cum yet, princess. I’m only fucking human, I’m gonna fucking blow.”

“Good! Give it to me,” you whine out, and Eddie pretty much loses it.

“Ok, come here my lil greedy baby,” Eddie says gruffly, though not without humor. He pulls out of you - and he has to shush you when you whine in protest - before hauling you around so that he’s sitting on your wicker chair and sliding you into his lap.

“Fucking yes. Oh my god yes.” You’re practically crying now as Eddie gets straight to bouncing you up and down on his cock. You cling to him, your fingers tightening in his wild curly hair as you breathe heavily and gaze at him with unfocused eyes.

“You’re just a horny little mess, aren’t you?” Eddie chuckles darkly. You nod and grip at his shoulders so the leverage let’s you help him move you up and down on his lap. Eddie kisses at the hollow at the base of your throat before looking back into your hazy eyes. “Hey. You with me?” He lightly taps your cheek with his palm when you don’t respond, so far gone in pleasure.

“Y-yeah?” you hiccup. Since you’re bouncing enough on your own shaking thighs, Eddie’s able to slide a free hand from the meat of your hips down to start playing at your clit. So you’re even farther gone now.

“Did you bring any turtlenecks in that little suitcase of yours?” Eddie asks you and your brow knits on what he finds to be a cute little scrunch as you struggle to comprehend the question.

“Yeah I brought one—oh my fucking god…”

Before you’d even finished answering his question, Eddie’s sucking and nipping at the skin of your throat. An action he knows can send you over the edge.

And it does.

You cum in a burst of pleasure that has you rocking against Eddie desperately, clinging to him as you do your best to keep him inside you at the deepest point for as long as possible.

Eddie, to his credit, let’s you do what you want with him. He holds your face in his hands and presses your foreheads together, nodding at your quiet moans.

“There it is. That’s what you wanted, sweet girl? That’s it.”

He’s patient as you come down from your high, but it’s his dick that twitches expectantly inside you which reminds you he still has to cum.

You do your best to start bouncing again, but your legs are shaky. Eddie laughs and stills you, his big hands on your waist, and you grumble.

“Shhh don’t worry about that. It’s good enough just hold you,” he reassures you. You look at him with bleary, pleasure soaked eyes.

“No. You need to cum, too,” you insist. Eddie shrugs, clearly content.

“Having my dick deep inside you is enough of a win, Princess,” he says with a chuckle.

But you’re having none of it. You struggle to your feet and then slide down to the floor in front of him to settle down on your knees. Eddie’s eye go wide and you grip his wet cock, fisting up and down on his lap.

“In high school I wouldn’t even listen to songs with dirty lyrics. Now my boyfriend’s dick is out while he sits on my reading chair in my childhood bedroom,” you observe irreverently with a laugh. Eddie joins in, though his laugh is more strained the longer you jerk him off.

“That’s what I was saying. Everyone thinks you’re so innocent. And yet here you are - just got your brains fucked out and now you’re on your knees for me.”

As if to punctuate and prove his statement, you lean forward and swallow him whole, your cheeks hollowing to create a tantalizing amount of suction,

“Oh mother of - fuck!” Eddie whispers harshly. You bob up and down on his cock without preamble. You could tell how close he was from the near steady stream of pre-cum that leaked from his tip.

Your hands knead into his thighs as you take him deeper and deeper, being careful not to gag too loudly when his spongey head hits the back of your throat.

“Fuck, Princess. That’s…oh god that’s…”

He’s rendered even more speechless when you grab his hand and place it on the back of your head, pressing down to indicate that you’d like him to control your movements. Something you’d never done with previous lovers. Only Eddie.

Eddie curses under his breath and blinks rapidly before doing as you’ve asked him to do - guiding you up and down on his cock by his grip on the back of your head. His cock pushes deep into your throat and Eddie’s eyes roll back into his skull.

“Jesus H. Christ you’re such a bad girl, letting me do this right now. Such a bad fucking girl.” He’s rambling at this point and you love it. You snake a hand between your thighs and begin playing with your clit as he fucks your throat. Overwhelmed by the feeling of him using you and the nature of his words.

When he lets you pull back to finally breath, you choke and sputter before speaking up, voice wrecked.

“Like being a bad girl for you, Eds,” you moan against his balls, jerking his spit and slick soaked cock with your hand. Eddie’s sure he won’t survive this and closes his eyes against the intense pleasure conjured up by the image of you before him.

“God, you get so messy for me, Princess. You know I love that.” You nod frantically and that’s when he notices your other hand has disappeared between your legs, touching yourself. He bites his lip to smother his groan. “Were you really touching yourself while choking on my dick, baby?”

You nod again with wide, doe eyes.

“I wanna cum again,” you say simply, brow knitting together from the way you toy with your clit feverishly. “But I want you to cum, too.”

“Baby girl, you keep looking at me and touching me like that, I’m gonna cum any second.”

Your breath speeds up and so does your finger on your clit. Your fist moves faster up and down his cock and you know he’s close, so you scootch up even closer between his spread thighs.

“Where d’you wanna cum, Eddie?” you ask. “My face? My tongue? My tits?” You model each option for him, turning your head to offer your cheek, sticking out your tongue, and shimmying your naked chest to make your breasts bounce.

“Oh shit oh shit…” Is all Eddie can say as his eyes zero in on your tits. His abdomen seizes and you deliver a handful more expert tugs, angling his cock towards your chest just in time. His white cum paints your tits just as your own second orgasm takes over, making your spasm a bit and concave into yourself.

It’s another minute or two before either of you move, your hand finally stilling and letting go of his softening cock. Eddie slumps back against the chair and rubs his eyes harshly with the heels of his hands before gazing back down at your messy figure.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Princess…” he mutters low. You simply grin at him, gathering the cum on your tits and placing it in your mouth with a happy hum.

“Thanks for my present, Eddie,” you say in a lilting voice and Eddie rolls his eyes at you, reaching down to haul you up off the floor and into his lap.

“If anyone in your family heard that and decides they don’t like me because someone couldn’t keep it in her pants…” he grumbles the threat half heartedly, contradicting his own tone by kissing your throat. Right on the fresh bruise that you will definitely need to cover with a turtleneck tomorrow. You giggle and cling to him.

“Nobody heard it. And besides, isn’t keeping me happy the most important thing?” you ask cheekily. Eddie laughs, a little closer to full volume this time, and crushes you to his chest.

“You happy, Princess?” he asks a beat later. Despite the volume of his laugh, the question comes out quieter. As if he’s not 100% certain what your answer will be. You pull back and take his face in your hands so you can imbue your response with all the strength you can muster after being fucked so good.

“I’m absurdly happy, Eddie Munson. And you better be, too, because I don’t plan on giving this up any time soon.”

He kisses you stupid in response, finally deciding the squeaky bed will have to do and hauling you over to start getting ready for sleep.

~*~

The next morning over coffee, eggs, and toast you get to witness yet again just how much your boyfriend has charmed your family and friends. They hang on his every word, laugh at his jokes, and ask him questions. And you know they aren’t just being nice, because they’ve never been this nice to any guy you’ve brought home before.

Watching Eddie regale some of your cousins with a particularly silly story from his latest small town tour, the sun hits him just right as it filters through the kitchen window. He’s back lit, haloing his hair and making him look particularly handsome. Your heart swells and you can’t take the yearning adoration that fills you to the brim.

To offset the achingly sweet emotions swirling within you, you have to do something silly. When Eddie looks at you over someone’s shoulder, you mouth “you’re fucking hot” at him and his face lights up in a massive grin, shaking his head. He mouths back -

“You’re bad.”

~*~

Tiny taglist: @millenialcatlady @theoncrayjoy @sacklerscumrag @cowboy-kylo @boomhauer @sparks363 @copycatkillerfics @boostilinski @wroteclassicaly @eddiesprincess86 @bambigoth-sims @chaoschaoswriting @lassie-bird @softpshycopath @katsukis1wife @spookyreidd

#Eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x fem!reader #Eddie munson x you #Eddie munson fanfic #stranger things smut

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writingcold · 6 months

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Welcome to Chapter Nine and Ten of Best Laid Plans

A/N: I know. Just trust me. I have said that it will have a happy ending. Just not yet.

This is a complete fiction - totally made up. I do not, nor will I ever know Jake or any member of GVF. That said, this story is mine. Please respect that.

Are you starting to understand the barrage of bullets that @takenbythemadness has taken while proofreading this thing for me? Yeah. Send her all your positive vibes and forehead kisses, please and thank you.

Content warnings: Language. Deep depression. Poor view of self. Poor mindset. Talk of adultery. Misogynic character. Verbal arguing. Divorce. Be ready for a big reveal. It hurts. It’s not horrible, but it hurts. Well... maybe a little horrible.

Word count: approx. 9500

Chapter 9: May, 1990: Jake POV

Life was a sham. My life was less than the frail mist that hung amongst the branches of the tree that I could see out my back window. I had sat for hours, the bottle between my fingers steadily grew lighter while my spirit grew atrophied and heavy. She was gone. Amanda carried everything out with her like she did not realize what she had taken from me. And I allowed it. Just like always.

I stirred against my better judgment. My vision was blurred and my body was full of ache. A familiar hum stuck my ear from the void beyond the couch that made me want to retreat into the bottle to hide my embarrassment.

“Dear lord, it moved,” Josh’s voice rumbled in my ears without humor, but it also lacked malice.

I coughed as I leaned forward, my fingers reaching for a bottle that was no longer on the table before me. I frowned as I realized that everything before me had been cleared away leaving only a tall glass of water. “How long have you been here?” I asked as I oozed back into the couch.

“Couple days. Henry called Ronnie…”

I grimaced as Josh ran through the line. I had forgotten my parents were in Hawaii for an extended vacation. I could just picture Ronnie pounding on my door, to which according to Josh, she wanted to kick my ass for not answering.

“But then, she got scared, so she used the key to find your nearly naked ass passed out about where you are now,” he explained with a shiver through his shoulders.

I scrunched up my face as the heat of embarrassment flooded my system. “Fuck,” I sighed as my innards started to jiggle in protest.

“So, she called me and I happened to have some time,” Josh remarked as he was swiping at the counter with a disgusted look. “Jesus, Jake, when was the last time you cleaned this kitchen?”

I could barely hold my head up as my mouth started to flood with spit.

“Anyway, I’ve been covering what I can at the shop. Sam got here yesterday and has been covering as well. He brought Danny with him, so between Danny and Henry, all your lessons are covered for a few more days. Dan’s heading out on tour, so we really need to get your ass back into your shop.”

My brain felt like toasted marshmallow and my mouth felt like it was filled with paste. Josh continued to clean, peeking into the oven to reveal the smell of food. He said that Ms. Ada sent a casserole - well, actually had sent many over. One for each day of this week. My stomach soured with the smell and produced a round of nasty burps that sent me flying to the bathroom. I retched everything out as if all the alcohol was fleeing my system by any means possible. I could hear Josh’s ramblings as I thought for sure my internal organs were next to exit my mouth. I was shit. I was lower than shit and did not deserve any kind of help in the matter.

“Let’s get you into a shower,” he said softly, pushing me by the shoulders to rest against the wall.

I had no fight left in me. I watched as he turned on the spray, holding his hand under the water just like our mom used to, even did the little toe tap as he waited. He ordered me to take off my rags and helped me over the ridge of the bathtub. The water was like an acid spray as it struck my skin like hot sandpaper. I sputtered and choked as I made a show of doing what he wanted me to do while he stood protectively at the edge of the tub. I pushed my face under, allowing the sensation of heat and clean to consume my ravaged skin. Josh, satisfied that I was not going to fall over like an idiot, walked away for a few minutes.

“This is clearly not about Georgia,” he said, returning with clothes to set on the vanity. “You danced a fucking jig when you signed those papers. What gives? I thought everything was going good.”

“I can’t talk about it,” I whispered, allowing the water to pour down and beat upon my back.

“Bull shit,” Josh remarked loudly. “The last time I saw you like this was with… god dammit. Please don’t tell me you did something stupid and Amanda is involved.”

The stab in my chest was brutal. I inhaled water and sputtered through a cough before regaining my senses. “You’ve been at the shop. Have you seen her next door?”

Josh stayed silent for a long time, leaving my guts to twist. “She stopped in yesterday afternoon with treats for us from the morning poetry reading.”

I rolled my eyes shut, fighting myself from asking if she inquired about me; wondered if she noticed my absence. Another strangled breath as I waited for more from him.

“I guess it makes some sense, now that I look at it,” Josh remarked coolly.

His words toiled in my belly as I heard him leave the bathroom for a few minutes. The sound of the closet door opening and drawers being forced to shut matched the cogs of my thoughts. He could not hide, however, the exasperated sound that he ground out in my room.

“You’re the reason that poor woman looks destroyed,” he said, his voice full of a hard edge. “Meg and Bugger thought it was because her husband was back in town...”

I kept completely still. I could feel it. The pieces were falling into place slowly, each clicking with a metallic click that I could feel happen for my twin.

“Fuck, no, Jake,” Josh growled, incredulous.

I shivered despite the heat of the water and steam all around me. “Go make a pot of coffee. I’ll tell you everything.”

I waited for him to argue with me right away. Instead, I realized that he actually listened to me. Finishing up my shower, I found that he had left a set of clean clothes for me on the vanity along with a new razor and shave cream. It did not take long to feel human again, though my innards begged to differ.

Josh had the hot dish waiting on the kitchen table and the coffee was just finished brewing. Just the smell of real subsistence made my body beg for respite. Josh gave me a double portion along with the biggest mug of coffee, smoking a cigarette while he waited as I ate. The food felt good in my belly, I could not lie.

“Okay,” Josh remarked as I pushed my near empty plate away. “Spill it. What the hell have you been up to and how are you going to fix it.”

“There is no fixing it,” I answered, feeling the exhaustion creep over me like a monster.

It started with a word. Her name. Amanda. Followed by another word, followed by another until it was all falling out of my mouth like a wave. Josh asked no questions, gave me no interruptions. Just sat and listened. When I felt my breath escape me as my shame rose, he waited. When my face turned red and my voice curled with anger, he leaned away, but did not stop me. He let me spill all of it onto the table between us like a demon that needed to be exorcized. When I finally collapsed back in my chair, a cigarette between my fingers and my mouth quiet, Josh let out a long, low whistle.

“Damn, Jake,” he whispered, his face full of emotions. “That’s more than… a lot.”

I rubbed a hand across my face. It was not all of it. I took a long, deep drag before stretching my neck. “And all of it is because of a lie.”

His brows furrowed as he picked up my dishes and moved to deposit them in the sink before refilling our cups. “How’s that?”

“Liam was not mine,” I whispered.

His face hardened. “What the hell, Jake. How is that true?”

“Georgia lied. She was already pregnant when we…” I refused to be crass, even if it was Josh.

“How do you know? Did she tell you?”

I shook my head as my words tripped over a sob. “She’d go off on these rants when she was really out of it. But I got the gist of it - she pretty much said I was not his dad.”

I felt the emotion swell and bubble until I couldn’t hold back the tears that pushed from the corners of my eyes. I swiped at them as Josh sat back down before me. His eyes were full of love and compassion as his hands reached for my shoulders.

“You are that little boy’s dad. Do you hear me?” he said, voice full of tears, the same as my own. “You loved him. We all did. We all wanted him to stay. Jake, I’ve never seen you so full of life as I had when I saw you holding him. Your boy.”

I was nodding as we cried together. My heart wept daily for Liam. Just because he was not of me did not mean he was not mine. I knew this. It was a burden that was carried for so long already. To be able to share the burden with Josh was a relief.

“Do you think Mandy will leave her husband?” he asked after a long silence.

I shrugged. The beauty of my previous week lay as toxic sludge in my chest. For her to walk out, I understood. It took me a while to figure it out - she was leaving me so as not to allow Roger the satisfaction of throwing me into her face. If she left him, she could have no mar to find that would allow him to have an advantage. I got it. I understood it. But goddamn to have our brief time twisted into something wrong shoved me into a hole that I was struggling to climb out of.

Josh folded his arms with a troubled look. “It won’t be an instant remedy, Jake. If Mandy leaves her husband, their assets are more than what you and Georgia contended with. Roger doesn’t seem like the kind of man that is going to be amicable no matter what situation he was caught in. Mandy could lose her Sparrow.”

I felt the line of my mouth harden as my teeth mashed together. “Motherfucker,” I grumbled. “I didn’t think about it. Fuck.”

Josh’s expression told me he was already miles ahead of me. He began to tap the table with thought. “You’re going to have to keep your distance, Jake. For her. During all of this - you’re going to have to keep your distance.”

I kept my mouth shut for I knew something stupid would fall out if I said anything. All I could do was shake my head ‘no’. My teeth buried themself into my lip as if I was an angry toddler ready to drop a fit.

“I mean it. You keep your distance.”

I was back to the shop the next morning, my shell back in place despite it feeling like it was two sizes too big. Bugger was on shift, his eyes watching me like I was going to either explode or evaporate into the fog. I had closed myself into one of the practice rooms with one of the new acoustics that we had gotten in to give it a spin. I heard movement on the other side of the shared wall. I imagined that it was Mandy, setting up for the Tuesday brunch crew. I smiled as I landed on “It Hurt Me Too” by Hound Dog Taylor, my fingers digging into the frets in hopes that she would hear me. I added in all my loud flourishes and soft touches until drawing into “These Arms of Mine”. I just needed her to know we were okay. That we would survive.

I was in my office when I heard the buzz of the door chime and Bugger’s voice flowing through the shop. I stood up when I realized it was not just a customer that he was talking to. Stepping beyond my door to find Mandy handing him the leftover treats from her group with a shy smile made my chest tighten. Josh was right, she was not out in the world like everything was fine. She had not noticed that I was there, so I took the time to collect myself and keep Josh’s sentiment of keeping my distance in my thoughts.

“Glad to see you back, Jake,” she said with a wave. “Feeling better?”

I nodded, playing along. “Yeah. Much better.”

“Josh stopped in earlier on his way out to your parents,” she replied as she watched Bugger make off with double brownies, chocolate chip cookies and Bailey bars. “It was nice to get a chance to catch up with him. Sounds like he’s got a huge project coming up.”

She was keeping to safe talk, though her eyes kept traveling to mine with a threat of tears. I wanted to reach out to her. I wanted to tug her into my office and hold her until it was better for us both. I could only hope that she could see the broken heart that was within me. We continued to chat for moments only before I saw the quiver in her lip. I sucked in a breath knowing that I was about to lose my composure.

“I’ve got a call I need to get to,” I said, glancing back to wherever Bugger had dragged the food away to. “Are we up for coffee tomorrow?”

She swallowed and nodded. “See you before open?”

“I’ll be there.”

Routine was my saving grace in my life with Georgia. It could be once again through whatever the hell it was that we had moved into between me and Mandy. I could set a routine and keep to it if it meant that we could share a space. If we could share a love.

Amanda POV

When I left Jake’s house, I made it to the bottom stair of my building before I had to sit down. It was like all my breath, all my blood, all my fight had been leached out of my skin. I left my entire being with him in hopes that he would use it to keep himself strong. I left nothing for myself. My body was racked with sobs so painful I thought for sure I would disappear into the ground.

Instead, my cries softened. My pain sunk deep within. A single word stuck me - yet. I could not be Jake’s - yet. I could not openly love him - yet. I could not show the strength that he imbibed into my flesh over the week - yet. I tucked the three letter word into my spirit and branded it in my mind. Something so small could be just the armor that I was going to need for the fight that was to come.

Monday morning thankfully was quiet. In the evening, over a lovely cup of tea, I started to put all of Roger's clothes, neatly folded, into a large shipping box. His personal items, the bank and credit cards, all the important papers between us went into the singular box. I took down all the pictures of him and us together and emptied out the frames, leaving the photos on the table. I scoured the apartment, erasing any evidence of Jake’s presence from both the physical space and myself. I hid away my feelings - both the hurt and the love.

Though I was half of myself, I forced myself to move. I forced myself to do what I expected of myself. I was in the shop for each group and customer. I presented my smile and professional self, all the while, my spirit was weeping. I noticed that Jake was not next door. My concern, however, had to be buried with everything else.

Thursday rolled around. The morning’s poetry reading thankfully went quietly. I took the leftover danish into Martin’s, moreso as a way to see Jake, but to my surprise, Josh was manning the counter. I caught sight of Mr. Henry in one of the practice rooms with a client.

“Amanda,” Josh said warmly as Bugger practically ran him over to grab the tray I held. “It’s good to see you.”

“I - I’m sorry, Josh. I wasn’t expecting you to be here,” I said, my eyes scanning for any sign of Jake.

“That’s okay. Jake’s been sick,” he said quickly, his hand coming down on my arm with a comforting pat.

I could not hide the urgency in my body as his words stuck my ears. “He’s okay, right? I mean, nothing serious?”

“Just a bad bug. I’ll have him back on his feet soon,” he said with a flash of a smile. “You doing all right there?”

“Oh,” I squeaked out. “Yeah. Just. Rough day. I better get back.”

At that point, I notice that both Bugger and Meg are watching me from the counter. I waved and headed out, hoping to god to regain my composure. Jake. Sick. It had put a crack into my composure. I needed to fill it with concrete. I needed to shut off the worry and just…

When I returned to the shop, I noticed that Mick was looking confused at the counter. “You all right?”

He nodded as he cleared his throat. “Uh, Roger just told me that you are head upstairs.”

“Mick,” I said, moving directly in front of him, “what did he say exactly?”

He grew even more uncomfortable, unable to meet my eyes. “He told me to tell that bitch to get her fat ass upstairs.”

Involuntarily, my lips rolled between my teeth. The embarrassment on the man’s face was hurtful. I reached out and touched his arm, just a brush of fingers. “Thank you. I’m sorry he did that.”

“I don’t think you should go. He was really angry,” he said quietly.

I nod before I place one pat on the counter between us. “It’ll be fine. Really.”

I did not allow the blaze of my anger show as I smiled and headed for the back door. I took a moment to notice that at least no one else was in the shop to hear what was to come. I walked the steps, noticing that the door was ajar. He had found what I had done. I could hear movement, but could not discern what he was doing. One more breath. One more thought of…

I pushed the door open to find that he was pulling everything out of the box that I had so neatly packed for him. His eyes flashed at me with absolute fury. I leaned against the doorframe with no intent of closing the door.

“What the fuck is this, Amanda?” he raged, digging out his clothes.

“Your things. I got them ready to go to your home. Your home with Lydia,” I said, keeping my tone level and calm.

He straightened. His eyes darkened with threat. “Get in here and close the damn door.”

“No,” I said, making sure to keep my body still. “I should tell you that my employee downstairs will be contacting the sheriff’s office if this gets out of control.”

It was not a lie. The way I left Mick, I knew that he would be on alert. I realized that I felt strong. I felt strong in this man’s presence that had made me feel like I was only part of his shadow. I folded my arms across my chest and decided to remain right where I was.

“This is ridiculous. Get in here and get my shit back to where it belongs,” he said sharply.

“No. You will be removing your stuff and getting out of my apartment. You are not welcomed here.”

A flash of memory. A flash of Jake and I laughing across the kitchen table that all of his stuff was cluttering up. A warmth filled me like I was finally moving in the direction I was always supposed to be moving in. I just needed to trudge through this maze, this obstacle course that was stretching out before me and Jake would be waiting for me on the other side. The prize that I so dearly wanted.

“If you think you can leave me -”

“I’ve contacted a lawyer, Roger. This - this bull shit of a marriage is over. I’m done.”

“You can’t be serious. Mandy - that girl you talked to was lying. I don’t know this - “

“I’m not an idiot, Roger. I will not be treated that way. Not by you, not by anyone. You have made it abundantly clear that you hate it here. You don’t like my shop. You don’t like my life being here. This is where I am and where I need to be. I’m done. I’m done with you playing my husband for thirty days of the year.”

His mouth twisted as he stared at me. “So I’m right, then. You’re already fucking someone else.”

“No. Not that it matters, Roger. You have never been faithful. Our entire marriage-”

“I’m a man. I’m on the road. I have needs, Amanda.”

“You had a wife at home to provide for those needs. You chose to do otherwise. You chose this path. And I’m done walking it.”

“Don’t think that I’m going to make this easy.”

I shrugged.

“Don’t think I won’t take this place from you, you bitch. When I’m done, you’ll have nothing.”

I shrugged. It wasn’t my job to make him aware that it was not mine. It was in a family trust that belonged to my family. Protected. I had scoffed when my father suggested this step, and then my lawyer backed it up. I thought it was an unnecessary step. And yet, I did it because a tiny voice said what would be the harm of taking that advice. What wasn’t protected, I was quickly finding I did not care. My lack of emotional response only infuriated him more. I forced myself to keep cool. I continued to keep my distance. Little snippets of my interlude with Jake played behind my eyelids. The loud laughter, the softest of touches. It was like he refueled my skin, and recast my armor. I could do this. I could survive this fire that the man before me would cause.

But then I returned to the minutes before. Jake was sick. My heart constricted as I silently watched Roger shove the items removed back into the box carelessly. I offered to ship the box wherever he needed me to, to which he just glared at me. I was going to have to have a long conversation with my parents. I was going to have to talk with my sisters. My brain was making lists of what I needed to do, and yet, my heart wanted nothing more than to go to Jake.

Roger nearly threw the box over the railing as he huffed down the stairs. I followed at a distance. Before he could open the backdoor to the store, I stopped him.

“The key. I will be needing that key back,” I said, keeping my voice void of feeling.

I watched as he yanked the keys from his pocket and threw them at me with intent. I let them fly past and he bumbled through the store. Poor Mick was standing with a customer in the mystery section, his face blanching of color. I caught his eye before I went behind the counter to fetch the yellow pages. A quick call to Mr. Peterson, and I was on the schedule to have all the locks of the building changed before the end of store hours.

I was on my way. I had finally been strong enough to take those steps that would allow me to grow my broken wings back. I apologized to the two pairs of eyes that watched me before I excused myself with the promise to be back after lunch. I grabbed the discarded keys on my way back into the apartment. I closed the door behind me to just take a moment to digest what I had done. Echoes of Jake continued to pull me through the minutes bobbing through the wake of Roger’s departure. The memory of him shoving the couch to the side so we could dance stupidly and fall against each other in a moment of heat and passion made me calm.

I put the kettle on with a smile. I breathed out an embarrassed laugh as the next thought struck: Jake setting us up with coffee and pancakes when I had been so thoroughly fucked into the matress that I couldn’t move without laughing hysterically. Yeah, he had been proud of himself that morning. He was humming Cheap Trick and the swagger was oh so real.

Friday arrived and life continued. Jake was still not in his shop, but neither was Josh. Mr. Henry waved and accepted the coffee that I had brought. Sam waved from behind the counter as he was talking with Bugger. Sparrow was busy that day and just when I thought it wouldn’t get busier, it did. It was all right though - it made the day go that much quicker.

Saturday morning there was a tap on my door, well before it was time for the store to open. I was surprised to find Josh on my stoop, waiting with a warmth plastered to his mouth and concern etched in his eyes.

“I brought breakfast,” he said, holding up a little pastry bag from Blaine’s. “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

“I happen to have coffee, come on in,” I said after a few beats. “You’ll have to excuse my mess… Been a little crazy around here.”

He barely glanced around as he took the seat at the table I pointed to. “It’s quite lovely up here isn’t it? It’s very calming.” He paused, his eyes tracing over the shared wall of Martin’s Music. His eyes rolled closed as he chuckled. “Probably not so calming when there’s a band up here though, is it?”

“Your brother is very strict about the schedule. Of course, that didn’t happen until I threatened to kick his ass after the first time I was in here with some garage band with way too loud amps and way too late,” I laughed as I sat down with him. “Of course, he might have just been afraid of the Siouxsie Sioux t-shirt and bed head.”

I was graced by one of his infamous belly laughs that set the air between us to a comfortable level. He set out fresh apple turnovers before me with a grin. The fact that he remembered warmed me. We had had breakfast way before I left for college and the three of us just about turned ourselves inside out on these down at the diner. I believe we cleared the case and Cindy just obliged to keep them out of her own mouth. He took the first bite, letting out a groan of delight.

“Lord, I’d be like three hundred pounds if I still lived here,” he complained through a mouthful of apple.

“Well, there is a reason why these are only available once a week now,” I pointed out. I took my own bite and breathed through the amazingness of the pastry. I knew he was stalling. Totally not a Josh move. A sip of coffee, a bite into my lip and I sat back in my chair. “Is he okay?”

He shrugged. “He’s not sick. I’m sorry I lied, but it’s our cover story.”

“I thought as much.” But that was a lie. I was scared. Jake never missed a day. “Well. I had hoped, really.”

He gave me a sideways stretch of a smile. “I’m worried, that’s why I’m here. There’s only two people that put my brother into this kind of tailspin - Liam and you.

“I had to watch him fall apart with Liam. He had made so many sacrifices for him, Mandy. He had lost so much weight I was afraid that he was going to be ill in the worst way. He was giving her everything and it didn’t make a difference. But you -”

He was shaking his head as he pushed himself back from the table. “There are only two people that he would literally bend himself inside out to protect. Do you understand that? Two. I’m worried that you are walking a road that is going to be torture for him to have to watch. Do you understand me?”

“What did he do?” I whispered the words, knowing that Jake had tripped into a hole because of me. Because of my words and actions.

The hesitation returned. I watched him swallow down a gulp of coffee. “He will be fine, Mandy, that’s what is important. I’m not going to lie though, he’s fragile. He was finally beginning to stand on his own - truly on his own, just taking care of himself after the divorce. It’s been good.”

My heart tripped. My spirit faltered. I knew what he was asking of me before he got to the words. I was going to have to get through this trial without Jake. I released a burning breath as I hid behind an interested gaze.

“I am worried. You see where I’m going with this, Mandy?”

I nodded. “I was trying to figure out how… I mean. His friendship has been so very important. I don’t think I can move through this without it.”

“I am not saying to disregard him completely. But he needs to heal more - on his own. Just as you are going to need to, as well. There may be a day where it is possible,” he said with a nod. “You two seem to always find each other. It just may not be in the manner than you think.”

My lips rolled into my mouth as I stifled a sob. Josh was sure that we were wrong to be together. He reached out and laid a hand on my arm. A touch that was meant to be reassuring, comforting. And it burned like hell. I chewed the inside of my cheek as I fought again saying anything. I knew he was right. He was so damn right about it all. I had had my chance. Jake had…

“Accept it for what it can be, Amanda.” Josh stood up, his touch still heavy on my arm. “Friendship is about the only thing that is fine between you at this point. Accept it.”

I watched as he left, leaving my heart in shreds. In less than thirty minutes, he had taken every stitch of strength that Jake had given me. I breathed into my empty apartment. I was going to have to do this without Jake.

Chapter 10: September, 1990: Jake POV

My precious week with Mandy had been erased. I would wake each morning haunted by the love that we had shared. My heart would bleed out as I tried to stuff it back into my chest so that I could carry on without her as a normal human being. I had survived the summer tourist season. We had fallen back into our routine - I would meet her for morning coffee. I would keep to safe talk, topics ranging from her book readings to my sponsoring the summer concerts in the park on Thursday nights. With the Autumn Street Fair approaching, I worked on the committee to help plan and organize the event just like I had in years past. This time, with the addition of Mandy, our time worn event got some fresh perspective.

Josh pretty much ordered me to go out and date. Jeanette, the sweet soul that she is, had called to invite me to dinner, but I just couldn’t. I wasn’t shutting myself away. My wounds were too deep to find anything but a false smile. So, like when I was surviving my time in my marriage, and after the divorce, I fell into routine. I woke, I worked, I slept. It took three months just to be able to go out for beers with Bugger and Meg. I pretended that my time that I had felt the most free never happened. I pretended that Mandy did not reside under my skin and within my very being. And it was killing me to have to watch her struggle.

I could hear the frustration she was living through. Roger was making her life hell, fighting the divorce every step of the way. She had grounds of infidelity. She had grounds of neglect. But apparently Roger was able to procure a better lawyer who was making every day a nightmare for her. She admitted to feeling like her every move was being watched. She was convinced that Roger’s lawyer had someone watching to record any interaction with friends, family - men, women, it did not matter.

By the first of October, I had begun to feel strong enough that I could stand in Mandy’s presence and still be okay. I started to go out with Henry and Ada, Ronnie and her husband, David. I was like the kid who was just learning how to roller skate - holding onto the wall for dear life because I was afraid to fall on my ass - again. I started meeting for beers with a few of the soccer dads a couple of times a month. Before I knew it, the holidays were storming through in the typical chaotic manner. Josh and I were having a drink at Miller’s when Jeanette was walking in with a group of friends. It was not lost on my twin that she had once again caught my attention.

By the end of February we were dating fairly regularly - once again, not exclusive. And it was enough. I felt like I was returning to that person that I could be while I watched Mandy grow thin and weary of her situation. I did all I could while remaining at my distance, to support her, to love her.

Jeanette was kind. Josh pointed out in our phone calls that I needed to ‘do right by that woman and make it serious’, but in truth, she was setting our boundaries. I know. I know, but it’s true. She was on the same plane as my own, broken by experience and unsure if she really wanted to share that deeply with anyone. So really, we were each other’s support system. A way to have that human contact and interaction without the intense emotional tethers that were required for a serious relationship. And it was better than trying to shack up with Tessa again. That woman… just no.

We survived the rest of winter and the spring thaw without too much drama. Jeanette and I were spending weekends away after discovering that we actually traveled together very well. I felt healthy.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to see you right now, Georgia,” I had said, trying not to let my impatience show as I shuffled papers across my office desk as a way to keep my hands busy.

Georgia had called out of the blue. It had been years since I had heard her voice and I was fine with that. I had moved on from what we had and healed, mostly, from our time together. My hands came to a full stop when she fell silent and I found myself listening to her breathing across the receiver for a long moment before she continued.

“I know you’ve heard this from me - many times, Jake,” she said, her tone even and present. “I’m trying. Really trying. I’ve been sober a full fifteen months this time. I’ve been trying to… I’m trying to really do it this time.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. This was the same conversation that I had heard too many times before. The only difference was that the hurt that once had been attached to her words was absent. I blew out a long breath and was shaking my head like she could see my answer across the phone.

“Jake, I need to make amends,” she whispered. “There are things that I need to say to you - for you to hear from me. You owe me nothing, and I get that. I do. But I think if I allow myself to just-”

“Allow yourself? Do you hear yourself right now? How absolutely selfish that sounds, Georgia?” I let the words go before I thought them through. I was once again buying into her game and I needed to just stop.

“Sorry. Sorry. Really. I don’t mean to sound selfish.” I could hear the tears in her voice and I forced myself to soften. “Please. Just give me a half hour of your time. It will be good for both of us, Jake. Please? I can meet you after your soccer practice at the park. You still do that, right?”

June first and I had my team running their asses off up and down that field starting at eight in the morning. Each and every one of those kids loved it, too. I had brought out the big box, booming music across the grass. I let them pick the day’s band and I supplied the tunes. I noticed Georgia waiting at the edge of the field. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, looking too thin as her blonde hair fluttered in the wind. I could have been kind and wrapped up practice on time, but the kids were having too much fun, so I let it run over by nearly twenty minutes. The parents were joining in at the end, their smiles wide as they bounced around with their children.

To my surprise, she waited until after I had cleaned everything up and packed the car before she moved towards me. Her dark eyes were clear and healthy. Her smile was honest.

“Thank you for seeing me, Jake,” she started, her voice even and strong.

I nodded once, my guard up and locked tight.

“Do you want to walk, or sit, or…” she laughed nervously.

“Just say what you need to, please,” I said as I folded my arms across my chest, wary of what was to come.

“Right to it, then,” she said, hands sliding into her pockets as she let out a nervous laugh. “I wronged you from the start. I know this is going to be hard to hear, but Liam…”

I swallowed hard. My eyes flattened as I looked at her. “If you’re going to tell me that Liam was not my son, Georgia, I already know.”

She flinched. “When did you know?”

“I don’t know - maybe I started believing it after one of the several dozen times you begged for his ‘real daddy to stay’, or if his ‘daddy was a better man he would’ve stayed’?” I did not attempt to hide the heat of anger that was spiking in my brain.

“If things would have been different… If he was still here,” she was struggling, faltering across her words like the only thing that could save her was a drink. I knew it. I knew that stammer and that look of need too well. I slowed down, she did not need to be provoked. “If he was still here, Jake, you would’ve been his daddy no matter what. You would’ve loved him-”

“I love him still, Georgia!” I shouted, all my venom leaking through my mouth with bitter accuracy. “I was there in the hospital. I held him. I touched him and sang to him every moment that he was with us. He’s with me every day. Every day! Do you hear me? I talk to him, sing with him. My son. No matter what.”

She wiped at her face. I wiped at mine. The rage was not simmering down as it normally would. It pulsed through my veins at a dangerous pace. I needed to walk away. I needed to just be rid of her presence.

“If that’s all you have to say, I’ve got to go,” I said, digging in my pocket for my keys.

“Jake, stay,” she said through her jagged breaths. “That's not all.”

“The fuck,” I growled, unable to hide my emotions.

I watched as she shored herself up while I felt my whole foundation begin to crumble beneath my feet. Her eyes turned to the ground for a long moment like she was gathering her words.

“I listened to you talk about your Amanda all that night,” she said quietly. Too stunned, I found my chin sliding forward so my ears could hear better. “How in love you were. How good of a man you were. I knew I was pregnant. What you all didn’t see was I was in full panic that whole night. Clint had left me the day before once he knew about the baby. I knew I couldn’t do this alone.”

She paused. I felt like all my air was being wrung from my lungs as I tried to keep my focus.

“I knew you would be the kind of man to take responsibility, Jake,” Georgia said, her voice warbling across each syllable. “I watched you leave the party. You had had too much to drink. I made sure of it. I helped you out of your clothes and got you into bed. We never had sex, though. You blacked out. It was so easy to make you think otherwise.”

Shock would not begin to explain what happened in my system in that moment. My world gave way as my knees buckled beneath my weight. A sound emitted from my gut that came close to the pain of losing Liam. It was a sound that carried the loss of a life that should have been. It carried every ounce of dreams and hopes and wishes for a life that was concrete and real and full of love and possibilities. A life with Amanda.

Georgia knelt down beside me and my broken frame. She tucked her hands in her lap. There was shame and remorse etched across her breath for what she had done. We cried together, but for different reasons.

“Jake, to say I’m sorry is not enough,” she whispered, her back bending because of the pain she had caused. “There is no excuse other than the fact it came from a place of absolute fear. I was so desperate-”

“You fucking took my life,” I mumbled. I stared at a blade of grass as my brain tried to clutch at the devastation that had been put upon me. “You didn’t just do this to me. You did this to her. You did this to hurt her. And I was faithful. You made me believe that I hurt her. That I fucking broke our relationship. I…”

The breeze against my flaming skin did little to cool me. Georgia sat with me as I tried to put two words together that would make a lick of sense, to make what she did okay. But it was so wrong. All of it. Quiet tears leaked from the corners of my eyes and I could hear her beside me stifling sniffles. My eyes shifted to her, honing in on the guilt that bubbled from every pore of her. There was no fix. There was no repair that could ever return me to my path that should have been.

“I don’t ever want to see you again,” I whispered, my voice void of me. “Do not call. Do not come back here - at all. If you were looking for forgiveness-”

“I was not looking for forgiveness,�� she said, her voice quivering. “I was only looking to give you a truth that has tortured me for all this time. Maybe give you back a piece of you that you thought I had ruined. This is the amends that I extend to you, Jake. Somehow a way to forgive yourself. To-”

“You didn’t just ruin me. You obliterated everything. How is that giving me back anything?”

She blew out a soft breath. “I said that wrong. What I mean was that you were always a good man, Jake. You were always good. I know what you thought you had done to Amanda, how you thought you had broken her trust…” She let out a fractured sob as she shook her head. “You were always hers. Mine sometimes. But you were always hers, Jacob.”

I watched as she stood. My body fought against my wish to rise up with her but I did. I held my arms out to her. It was not forgiveness. It was acceptance. I hugged her for a moment before letting her go. I moved my feet towards my car and did not look back at her. That book was closed. It will stay closed this time.

Amanda POV

If I thought that I was lonely before, I was sorely wrong. The absolute isolation was crippling as I began my filing for divorce. My lawyer, Mr. Upton, was very good, very empathetic. But Roger’s lawyer, Mr. Roburn, was more expensive with more resources at his disposal. Sparrow, of course, became the first point of contention. Roburn argued that it was my original plan to leave Roger, hence my reasons for placing my store into a trust. Mr. Upton, utilizing all fiscal records and legal precedence, that regardless of reasoning, the shop did not belong to me, but to my family and was not a joint asset as Roger had assumed. Of course, then it was argued that I had used my husband’s money for the down payment of the building…

Back and forth. East and West. Round the circle once more. Roburn’s whole strategy was to wear me down. Mr. Upton, on the other hand, stayed in step with the correct argument that kept me protected and Sparrow in my hands. Then came the implications that I had been unfaithful. Pictures were presented of me having coffee with Jake, along with Mick and Robin, Bugger and Meg. It was totally innocent of course, but it led to other pictures where I was talking just with Jake. That was an uncomfortable conversation with Mr. Upton - one where I was not truthful.

Jake was called into a deposition by Mr. Roburn, to which it was suggested, as well as pictures shown, that I had an ongoing relationship with him. Jake explained that we had had a relationship over the summer of 1981 and that we were merely close friends. He then pointed out that the pictures that were showing just me and him talking were actually just a zoomed in photo of the previous ones, in his music shop with plenty of others present.

He had become distant. It was fine. It was enough that I could still share a space with him as I struggled my way through my day to day. The nights were hard. Too often, I tried to manifest him to be with me. Be in my bed holding onto me so that I might not fly apart. But he never came to me.

I retreated. It was all I could do. I kept my social circle to my family only. My parents were beside themselves and were absolutely stunned as my dirty laundry was being dragged out for everyone to see. They let me cry about it behind their closed doors, though. I came to realize that it was not just me that was the topic of Frankenmuth’s hot gossip tongues, but my family as well. It was gross and wrong, but I had to just keep my head up and live through it. I had done nothing wrong to warrant such loose tongues.

As the weeks passed, I watched from the sidelines how Jake healed and returned to his life. It was nice to just be friends again, to talk and laugh. It hurt when I was out at the farmer’s market with Jenni and her little boy and I saw him with Jeanette Williams. He did not see me. His whole attention was on her. At first I was anxious, my skin feeling like it had been stomped on. But then… I stilled and watched as he smiled at her. Really smiled. His whole body was relaxed and at peace. And it was not because of me or my presence. Jeanette had been in Ronnie’s class in school. She always had a reputation of just being kind. I knew she had always been well liked. Perhaps it was something that nurtured him in his time of need without me…

What a selfish thought it was and I knew it the moment that it struck. I tried to move away. To allow my nephew to tug me towards the homemade candy, but I chanced a glance back to see what had been there a year before - happy. Jake was happy. There was no denying what I saw because it was so lovely to see.

The months lingered on like the calendar refused to shed its days and weeks in a timely manner. It hurt. Everyday there would be a call regarding this or that from Mr. Upton. I watched as those around me seemed to move with such life. With such pleasure. I was rooted to my spot. Not allowed to drift amongst the stars or through the leaves that scattered across my path. It was truly the first time that I had no idea what my tread would look like when I emerged from this blackened tunnel that I had found myself wandering through.

My Sparrow was my salvation. No matter what - she was there providing my steady company and sure footed companion that continued to grow and evolve and bear fruit under my care. I could hide amongst her books and hold up new ideas that would take on a life of their own for those who entertained such fancy things as the offerings of a soon to be divorcee’s book shop.

Yeah. The opinion I entertained of myself was pretty low. I was not coping well with all the punishing gut punches that the divorce was dishing to me. It was not like I was asking for anything other than for my marriage to be over. I did not want his money. Roger was very, very comfortable. He worked hard to be so comfortable. I did not deny that. I had worked excruciating hours at Franklin and done well, myself. I did not care that a portion of my funds were still residing in our joint accounts. I would have gladly given him it all just to walk away. During mediations, I even blurted out the fact that I wanted nothing. I questioned why he was dragging his feet on the matter. He had another woman. He had not one, but two kids with her. In the wake of the silence that followed, I excused myself with the last bit of what he had done to my body against my own wishes. Was that not enough to wish to escape that marriage?

August of 1991 was hot. It was the kind of hot where you would shower, towel off and be wet before you reached the bathroom door. It was gross and sticky and smelly and I was wishing for the weather to break. The thunderstorms were coming like crazy, but as soon as one would bring relief, another cycle would start up. The a/c in Sparrow was down. I sent Mick and Robin home and hung a sign that we were too hot to function. I had to wait a few days before I could get anyone out to actually look at the unit. I stayed in the hotel at the other end of the street as the apartment was like a twenty four hour sauna. I watched as my precious books were beginning to buckle under the humidity. I had to invest in a window unit just to keep the moisture from ruining my stock.

It was one of those weeks where I had not heard from Mr. Upton. I was not sure if that was a good thing or not. Perhaps it was too hot in Detroit, too, and he decided to distance himself for a respite from my idiot case. The 14th found me on the phone once again with my a/c man in hopes that he would be there before the end of the day. I had just crossed my fingers when the chime on my door rang out admitting Mr. Upton.

I watched quietly as he pulled a large manilla envelope from his briefcase and held it out for me. “You asked for nothing but the dissolution of your marriage. He has finally given it to you.”

The relief that rushed across my body left me breathless. Sparrow was safe in my care. I asked for nothing and nothing was given. I carefully opened the sheath of papers and took the extended pen from Mr. Upton. His kind eyes met mine for the briefest of moments before he began to point to each spot that required my signature, explaining each passage with a patience that exuded a comfort. On the last page, the moment swelled. I stared at Roger’s huge, elaborate strokes across the heavy paper. He had relented. I licked at my lips before I leaned over once more and slowly scratched my name into the paper that would untie the chain that had kept me locked in place.

I shook the man’s hand and watched as he loosened his tie before leaving the shop. I looked around and absorbed the stillness. I may have wiped a tear or two away. My gut told me to go next door and tell Jake. But my spirit told me to stop. Take in the stillness a little longer. I sat down at one of the cafe tables and just breathed. I allowed my chest to rise and fall uninhibited. I was free.

Instead of telling anyone in the family, I called Mick, followed by Robin. They agreed to take care of the shop and make sure the a/c repair was finished and assure them the bill would be paid upon arrival. I walked up the steps to my apartment and found my bag. Within thirty minutes, I had packed a few outfits and everything that I would need. I jumped in my car and I left Frankenmuth - alone.

I drove. I took breaks at rest stops. I stayed in shitty motels. I had called my parents from some town west of Toronto and assured them that I was fine. I just needed out for a few days. It was the most impulsive thing I’ve ever done, but I drove all the way to Maine, finding a little cottage motel that I stayed in for three days, right on the ocean. It was like all the heat, all the damage, all the injury was relieved. I walked the beach. I drank the sea breeze and fed on the wildness of the landscape. I landed in the bar and got picked up by a very attractive man who said he was on his way out to sea. Didn’t matter if it was true or not. He fucked me sideways and made me cum hard for two damn days.

I celebrated myself for twelve days. I took my time getting home, taking in the first hints of the autumn as I was passing through Pennsylvania. When I got home, I relished it. My parents welcomed me, my sisters laughed with me. It was two days since my arrival back and I dared to walk into Martin’s to find Jake. I knew he had heard the news the moment he looked at me. His smile welcomed me into a hug that my body had been screaming for for months on end.

And he held on. I was sure Bugger and Meg were drifting away from just being uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. I breathed him in and let him hold me while my trials over the past year settled into my bones and across my flesh. It was a victory. It was a victory worth savoring. As he let me go though, I knew I wasn’t ready. I looked into his face and it was a whispered agreement. A ‘maybe’, but not yet.

I’ll see you next Wednesday. 💚

I have a tag list if you would like to join, or you can just reply to this or message me.

@lvnterninthenight @doodle417 @luverleaver @jakesgrapejuice @fictional-duchess @milkgemini @positivegvfthings @songbirds-sweet @gretavanbitches @gardensgatedaisy @babyhoneygvfarchive @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @starcatcherc @loveisonaroll @jakesstarlight @reesetrippingthelight @builtby-gvf @ignite-my-fire @wetkleenex-gvf @gold-mines-melting @starsasone @mysticalstarcatcher @montenegroisr @takenbythemadness @way-to-go-lad @cal-a-bungaa @thewritingbeforesunrise @leftjudgeempathsuitcase @brokenbells11 @imborrowedshesblue @vanfleeter @sammysvanfeet @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @jaketlove @gvfmarge @becinabubblegvf @wildbluesorbit @sinarainbows @livkiszka @thetroublegetssoloud71 @gracev0609 @gretavangroupie @fleet-of-fiction @edgingthedarkness @joniizzle-blog

#jake gvf #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf #jake kiszka fan fic #greta van fleet au #gvf au #greta van fleet fan fic #jake kiszka au #best laid plans

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secretlittlerandezvous · 2 years

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Exhaustion - Josh Anderson

Summary: Tired and overwhelmed reader limits her contact with Josh. He finds her asleep after returning home from a trip.

Words: 1675

It was Y/n’s first instinct, a natural reaction she hardly ever noticed but it happened every time. Each time life was getting a little too overwhelming she distanced herself from people she loved. The explanation was simple. She didn’t like it when her loved ones worried about her, and it was always something that passed away on its own. Sooner or later anyway. Her issues were her own, her worries were her own and so on and so on. There was no need to bother someone else with it. People around her saw through it, of course they knew something was upsetting her. They tried to help, cheer her up. But she avoided them, declined all offers. Too stubborn to accept a helping help. And so, they learnt to give her time and space, to check up on her occasionally to make sure she was doing okay and to wait for her to get back to them.

This time was no different. As soon as the first leaves turned yellow and started covering the streets of the city the time started to go fast and she felt behind. Behind her work, behind her studies, behind her personal and social life. There was simply not enough time. And when all the work and studying piled up into one big mess her body gave up. Y/n tried to ignore the feeling of hopelessness for as long as she could. But one Friday afternoon after yet another bad day at work, after forgetting to turn in her essay it all broke inside her. She came home and cried for hours, staining the pillows of the living room’s sofa with mascara.

Josh was in the US with his team and Y/n felt lonelier without him than usual. He was a tough guy on the ice, tough guy in front of his teammates but to her he was the nicest person she’s ever met. He knew what she needed better than herself. When to cuddle her, when to surprise her with ice cream, when to give her space and when to just listen to her venting for hours and hours. She wanted him back more than anything. If only he was home, he would know what to do to comfort her. But he was far away with the team, doing exceptionally well with three wins in a row and she wasn’t going to ruin it.

Sure, she could call him or text him to complain a little. Get a little bit of steam off her chest. But he would get too worried, he might stop focusing on the game. No. She wasn’t going to be a distraction. She can deal with it on her own.

And so, for the following few days Y/n limited her interactions with everyone to minimum, focused purely on finishing everything that needed to be finished. Every day she became more exhausted and by the end of the week she could barely walk. She didn’t even know where the strength to carry on was coming from.

She limited her interactions with Josh as well. She didn’t answer his FaceTime calls because he would see how tired she was and hardly ever picked up a call because he’d tell just from the tone of her voice there was something wrong. The excuses came easy to her: once she was in the shower, then she was stuck at work, other time she forgot her phone in the car and didn’t notice. Even her texts were as short and as simple as possible. Josh spammed her phone with sweet messages and voice notes daily and it made her both unbelievably happy and sad. She felt bad for being so cold to him, he in no way deserved it. But it was for his own good and for the good of his team as well.

Josh noticed the change in her behavior immediately. Most guys wouldn’t notice the tiny changes, but he did. And he was sick worried about what was going on back home.

“For the millionth time Josh, “Y/n sighed during one phone call. “Everything’s fine.”

“If you say so,” Josh answered with a hint of disappointment. He knew he was getting nowhere with his questions, but he didn’t know what else he could do since he was away. Maybe it was nothing, but what if it was?

And not only he was worried, but he also missed her. He was used to traveling, being away from people he was close to, but when she came into his life everything or rather, he changed. And sleeping without her in his arms meant a bad night’s sleep. A day without seeing her meant an okay day at best. Going without her touch or kiss for longer than a day could drive him insane. He needed her. More than he would admit to himself, to her or anyone else.

The days kept on passing and Y/n completely lost count of the days. She didn’t know if it was Monday or Thursday, if October ended already or not yet. She had no track of time. Every single day she woke up and went either to school or to work, survived until it was time to leave and then kept on working at home until she passed out. She didn’t remember the last time she had a proper meal or a shower longer than 5 minutes because she was too tired to stand there and wash herself. She rushed personal care to have more time to focus on what she needed to focus on.

Another Friday, two weeks later after Y/n’s issues started was spent at her desk studying. Writing three essays at once while also making notes to study for her exams. It also happened to be the Friday of Josh’s arrival which Y/n completely forgot about.

On the other hand, Josh couldn’t wait to be home finally to check on her.

As soon as he landed in Montreal, he wasted no time and rushed to her apartment. His heart was beating fast with anticipation. He was overjoyed with the results of the last couple of games, but he was most happy about being home and to be just a few minutes away from seeing Y/n after such long time. He didn’t know what news were waiting for him, how bad or serious it was going to be, but he felt relieved anyway. Relived because he would soon know, relieved because he could take care of everything now.

He unlocked the doors and entered the deadly silent apartment. He saw a light in the living room, but the tv wasn’t playing and Y/n wasn’t running to greet him like she usually did. He continued from the hall to the living where he finally saw his girlfriend. Fast asleep on the desk surrounded by papers and post it notes. He stopped for a moment just to adore her face. She was in a deep sleep, most likely a very needed sleep. Her hair was slightly messy but that just made her look cuter in his eyes. He slowly came to her; with gentle touch he removed a piece of hair from her face and tucked in behind her ear. He sneaked his hands around her waist, kissed the top of her head and just as he was about to lift her up, she woke up. Her eyes opened slowly, she looked around trying to figure out what was happening around her and when she realized Josh was standing there just few inches away from her, she gave him a surprised look.

“I’ll punish you for not greeting me later,” he laughed. “But right now, I just want to go to bed and cuddle.”

Y/n didn’t say anything, but she wrapped her hands tightly around his neck, he hugged her even tighter and kissed the side of her face a few times. He then took her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom where he tucked her in. His heart could just melt seeing her so sleepy.

“I couldn’t wait for you to come back,” she mumbled into his chest when she snuggled next to him.

He pulled her closer to his body, making sure she was safe and sound and kissed her again and again. At that moment it felt like a single kiss could fix all her worries. His fingers gently ran through her hair, occasionally scratching her head and each time he did that Y/n let out a quiet whimper of enjoyment. His other hand caressed the skin of her back. Y/n for the first time in over two weeks relaxed, she wasn’t tense anymore, all worries disappeared from her mind as soon as his strong arms wrapped themselves around her body.

“Don’t you wanna tell me what was going on, baby?” Josh whispered into her ear as he kept playing with her hair.

Y/n snuggled even closer to him, took a deep breath and thought for a moment of what to say. She realized now how scared he must’ve been and for what? For nothing more serious than a little bit of stress. “There was just too much going on,” she said quietly. “Too much work and studying. I felt very behind everything.” She then added and stroked the palm of his hand with her fingers.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked although he already knew the answer.

“Didn’t want to worry you?” she answered. “And yes, I do realize now I made you more worried by not telling you.” She admitted.

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re safe”. He kissed her. “I love you so much, I couldn’t wait to be back home with you. To hold you and fall asleep with you beside me. And most importantly I couldn’t wait to figure out what was going on with you.” Josh paused for a moment realizing he was getting no reaction from her. “Baby?” he whispered and looked at her. She was asleep with a smile on her face, clinging onto him.

“Good night baby.”

#josh anderson #josh anderson imagine #josh anderson one shot #josh anderson writing #josh anderson imagines #montreal canadiens #montreal canadiens imagine #montreal canadiens one shot #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl one shot #nhl imagines #hockey imagine #hockey one shot #nhl players imagine

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eneiryu · 24 days

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I think the skinwalker prison played a big part in Theo's evolution as a character but to me what really kickstarted his redemption arc was Liam saving his life at the hospital.

Because getting him out of the skinwalker prison was initially only to use his stolen powers, but when Liam shot that ghostrider that was choking Theo in the hospital there was no ulterior motive, just saving Theo's life even when Theo still didn't do anything to deserve it. And you can see in Theo's face in that moment how shocked he is that someone would choose to save him and I think that's what madevhim go in less than a hour from "you're going first, I'm only here because while they take you I'll be running the other direction" to "being the bait".

Like he's been on his own for years and no one has ever done something for him knowing who he really was, not when he was playing an act. But then Liam did, knowing every horrible thing Theo did he still chose to save him. I think this is what rocked Theo's world upside down and immediately made him want to do something good as well, maybe to show that he deserved what Liam just did for him.

So going back to the ask I think I can still see Theo changing if Liam saved him from his sister dragging him down, but it would be very different than what we saw in the show, less trauma obviously and maybe more similiar to what you did in the season 5 AU where Theo's redemption is more Liam focused than the show.

Agreed! I think the skinwalker prison made Theo’s redemption possible, but it was Liam who actually made Theo want to walk that path in any real way.

Yeah, I could see that argument. I think the trouble I have, and the difference between the S5 AU as I wrote it, and a last-minute S5 AU, where everything up to Theo getting sent to the prison happens, is Tracy and Josh. Granted, this is my own interpretation and we have no actual information about what Theo did or didn’t do prior to coming to BH with the Dread Doctors, but I tend to go towards the interpretation that prior to the Beast’s resurrection, when Theo acted, he did so either implicitly or explicitly on the Doctors’ orders. He wasn’t choosing his targets, and he wasn’t killing for his own purposes. To be clear, I think he probably was still killing, but there’s something really distinct for me about him choosing to kill Tracy and Josh. That was a betrayal of the highest order, with nothing justifiable about it—he didn’t need to do it at all, except to feed his thirst for more power—and in my head at least, I’m not sure he would have killed like that before (though honestly? Who the hell knows).

So I think that’s what makes it really hard for me, and for the way I understand Liam, Scott, and the rest of the pack, to be able to somehow accept a non-skinwalker-prison’ed Theo. There’s a line I think he crossed killing Tracy and Josh, and without something pretty extreme like the skinwalker prison, a more lukewarm or low-key redemption to me doesn’t seem likely, and also doesn’t seem like something the McCall pack would buy or accept being a part of.

But this is just my own perspective on it. 😊

#eneiryu ask

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eulcgizeme · 1 month

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eulcgizeme's plot brain rot

heyo weyo, listed below are just some plots i'm desperate to do so if you're interested, pls give this a like and i will come bother you. (: all of these can be for m/m or m/f pairings! heavily influenced from listening to ttpd for last four days

A. "even if it's handcuffed, i'm leaving here with you" for two former bonnie and clyde-esque characters who essentially out grew each other until they rekindle a little flame that gets them back on their ride or die bullshit, but one of them is insistent that the past is in the past (except maybe when someone's hand is down someone's pants oops). this would most likely be for eden [callum turner fc] since it's close to his backstory but watered down lol but could be someone else, possibly lyp adler [mike faist fc].

B. high school sweethearts remarried after they realized they were, in fact, far too young to have gotten married. it was messy, it was bitter, and fast forward they're remarried but unhappy bc they keep looking for the other in everything they do. an affair ensues and is it possible they've really grown up and come back to each other, or are they just as immature as they were back then? (possibly for andy rhodes, or knightley rhodes [josh o'connor or mike faist fcs])

C. based on the prophecy by miss taylor, where a promise to get married to their best friend if they're still single by x time and even though they're down for it, they're realizing maybe it's not the world against them but that they're not ready to belong to someone. fluff, comfort, and a bitter angst to not understanding why the person you've always loved suddenly doesn't want to be yours. (100% would have to be a new muse on my end but im ready)

D. muse a confesses to muse b that their spouse is cheating on them and ends a marriage. but instead of being hailed a savior, muse b holds it against muse a. add a little fortnight inspo and muse b could have lived right behind muse a, and muse a's marriage was the shit one while muse b lived happily until this revelation. muse a's marriage finally fixes itself and now muse b has to watch from their backyard their ex-best friend have the life muse a ruined by saying outloud the affair everyone but muse b saw. once again throwing my rhodes-burton family at this plot.

E. "like a tattooed golden retriever" about a young male model (i have a logan lerman fc in mind for this) taken in by someone else in the fashion industry who needs their next big break and is desperate. essentially plucks him off the street for his look to clean him up with little regard or what happens to him in the industry until they become emotionally attached and responsible for him.

F. two exes who broke up because muse a (who i'm thinking i might throw my callie adler [anya taylor joy fc] at for this! she does have a regular au lol but can be kept supernatural if ya want) was a mess tho muse b denies that it's a direct result of how they handled the relationship... and fast forward to muse a fixing themselves to spite muse b and everything they said about them.

G. and then a twist on the concept above ^ where muse a decides they're going to fix muse b to spite everyone around them. i can fix him (no really i can) as everyone insists they're no good. yeah, it's the song. and what of it?

H. begging for a plot based on the lines "it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden" and "sparkling summer" and "you deserve prison but you'll never get time, you'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bar." i had more for this but this whole post has been sitting in my drafts for two days and i want it out there, but if you're a sucker for smallest man who ever lived i will give you my all on deets for this.

I. unrelated to ttpd, but some more plots for callie and lyp adler as theyre supernatural au muses and lyp indirectly/accidentally did use his soul as payment for more power and didn't take into consideration that as a twin he is a soul split in two and also sold callie's soul.

just putting it out there that aside from mike faist/callum turner, i have some muse ideas for tom holland, barry keoghan, josh o'connor, david corenswet, jonathan bailey. i prefer writing male characters but i do have a couple of gals that might work for some of these if needed! (:

#wanted.#wanted plots.#wanted plot.#i cant remember my tag ffs

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deadfag2u · 7 months

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Josh wanted to believe the lies

Josh wanted to believe the lies.

They all took everything and they lied and honestly I haven’t heard this is the Day of the dead of smiling because I know that they are going to be killed

I know that Monica Kinslow does not have any of my work as her own, because if she took anything of mine, she will be taken out in the middle of the field and murdered or worse

Siri, I don’t really like when you guys start problems with me when you’re on drugs and you really can’t afford to be starting trouble cause you’re on methamphetamine or maybe you’re on fentanyl

You guys are going to be killed off one by one probably no later than 60. You don’t deserve to live any longer and your husband will be ready for an upgrade.

But it really fucked me up because you guys don’t care about me you care that you got fooled by a retard, like Monica or whoever

And I know that there are girls getting their faces cut off in the name of plastic surgery

And I know that Monica will not live a long life

But it doesn’t change the fact that she’s probably trying to dress in lingerie and brag to me about everything that I do not have because she thinks she is going to ruin my life as a landlord working at the Arbors Of Glasgow in Glasgow Kentucky three hours a day if that, but that’s her way of playing twinkly, because her husband will take care of her allegedly and that’s as good as it gets for a meth addict like Monica

But since she really wants to provoke me like this, I’m going to have to get in touch with her drug dealer

And have her murdered or rather have him deal with that because you know I don’t deal with murder. Well, it’s very gross.

I’m just hoping that I hope that we can signal the right FBI agents for Karen and her grandson. He’s needing a safe place to be.

Because Karen is a piece of trash

I said Karen’s a piece of trash honey that’s not your daddy baby do you have some problems? Are you needing territory? It’s about land for girls like you isn’t it Karen

Sucks to be you know honey, to be honest with

No baby I don’t think that you know I think that what you know is if I had a knife in my hand, the second, you and your little boyfriend made those comments you would be dead

And I think that you know that very well so the next time you talk about getting out of the motherfucking car to start a fight with a person like me

You need to first of all make sure that you’re not a child molester, and since you are a child molester, you probably need to back that shit the fuck up honey

You say you’re not gonna put up with this shit you don’t have any say so honey I’m going to ask Kevin if I can stay at a guest house can we make that magically happen? Oh my God why do we have funding for that kind of shit we do Well I’m a little bit in the doghouse. I did something slightly dicey no I know exactly what the fuck I’m doing but I still did something very dicey what I learned well OK hear me out though yeah right well a couple of guys were like Rebecca honey honey Rebecca wake up I was like what do you mean? Those women are monsters honey

Yeah, Karen is running her cocksucker to the landlord, but I know your drug dealers remember that honey I know your drug dealers very thin walls, baby girls

Never in my life that I think I was going to be crazy enough to hope that Darren Hayes with fund my survival would fund my survival

Because if he didn’t, I promise you every goddamn worthless hooker like Karen and Monica would take over this entire goddamn nation you guys have made every goddamn white baby in this nation cry and I am done with you my love

No, you can go ahead and ask your white parents if you think that Monica has any kind of influence over propaganda which I highly doubt because lol women like her don’t get much say so in the end

Because of women like Ashley Pedigo, possibly because of women like Christina Aguilera, probably

Because of women like Rebecca Cooper most definitely

I know they are talking I know the girls talk all kinds of stuff about that little white Rebecca, but Rebecca isn’t what you goddamn jealous hooker I know somebody’s doing jealous jealous jealous, jealous baby I know but you know what you can do your own goddamn laundry service can’t you hooker

I know you’re jealous I know I know I know you’re jealous baby I know that’s why only a handful of those women get out baby and you’re not one of the lucky ones when I was outside and I ask you am I about to be addicted even though I didn’t do anything wrong

I said evicted

All right Monica honey baby princess we’re not playing that game either because I didn’t get you addicted to meth and I know that you have a drug dealer locally and you probably don’t want me talking about your ongoing’s with drugs because the FBI is probably watching you if your husband has any kind of job at all and you say he does you also though tried to get with my ex lover I heard that’s what they told me that’s what the doctors tell me I mean they don’t tell me that obviously the doctors wouldn’t have anything like that to say

#monika kenslow #meth #fbi #fentyal #dr Brian harmych MD

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hmpolar · 2 years

Text

Never back down

While Sony Pictures Home Entertainment are releasing the film on home video, they didn’t go for the Blu-ray format here. This is a bare bones release all the way. And the fact that White himself is a total package of on screen charisma, incredible martial arts talent, and a competent and capable director and writer, make him an indispensable presence in the modern action movie landscape. This kind of talent and ethic should be rewarded on any budget scale. What White is able to do is take all those limits and restrictions into account and then cast them aside and make the best and most entertaining movie possible with the resources he has. But if you’re a fan of fight films and low budget action movies, these are elements you’ve learned to live with and may even have come to expect. There’s some janky editing going on here, plenty of flat performances, and lots of the shortcomings that mini-budget films frequently suffer from. This is a hard working Hollywood talent whose budgets may be low, but who gives this film everything he’s got and succeeds on every level. The fact that White himself has proven to be much like his on screen character is equally potent. When living by his code backs Walker into a corner, watching him fight his way out provides an enormously satisfying conclusion. Helping train James for a title fight with Caesar Braga (fight film giant Nathan Jones aka Mad Max: Fury Road’s Rictus Erectus) brings them around the globe to Thailand, which adds a production value to the film and also likely helped keep the budget low as well. A good and loyal friend to his co-lead Brody James (Josh Barnett), a famous fighter who is in the Rocky IV excess stage of his fighting career, Case brings the discipline and loyalty James desperately needs. Walker is the kind of hero Bruce Lee would have been proud to see on screen. He’s the archetypal wandering hero brought to life by a proudly Black man, which is not something to take lightly in today’s cinematic landscape where talent of color work so hard to get the roles they so rightly deserve and which so often go to white males.

While I’m at it, I’d just like to add that it’s wonderful to see an onscreen hero like Case Walker, an African American man who is the best at what he does, who teaches others, who is humble and honest. The film follows all the conventions of a typical fight film, but those very elements become convention because of how satisfying they can be when done right. A cinematic fantasy that is equal parts wholesome and brutal, captured on a minimal budget, but with the eye of a talented fight choreographer and cinematographer. By abandoning a lot of the structure of the previous films and simply tacking on the Never Back Down franchise name, White is given an opportunity to display some of the themes and philosophies that really make him tick as a person. That may sound like hyperbole when talking about a DTV martial arts film, but I’m prone to shining a light on this underappreciated niche of cinema. As writer/director/star/unbelievable physical specimen, Michael Jai White further cements his bona fides and really treads a path very few get to walk. With Never Back Down 3, White not only returns to the director’s chair, but also serves as a writer alongside Chris Hauty, who also penned the previous two. There also seems to have been an adherence to the structure of the original film which held it back quite a bit. I don’t remember a lot of the specifics of that film, but the addition of real world MMA fighters to the cast was probably the sales pitch for the film, and it hamstrung the acting. He’s a noble warrior type who trains and coaches another cast beefy whiper snappers to victory. Miyagi, and the legal troubles are not his fault. Even so, his Case Walker character took a bit of a backseat as a trainer with a troubled legal history. With the second film, White took over directing duties and starred in the film. The mall metal accompanying the trailer kind of says it all.

Sold as an EXTREME version of The Karate Kid set in some kind of high school underground MMA ring, Djimon Honsou and Amber Heard support a cast of douchey looking white kids duking it out. White’s presence was my inroad to the franchise, and based on the trailer for the first film I stand by my disinterest in it. Never Back Down: No Surrender: Never Stop Never Stoppingīut in all seriousness, I love Michael Jai White and this third entry in the redundantly titled fight film franchise is the best that I’ve seen (meaning the better of the two White entries).

#Never back down

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gustingirl · 2 years

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gvf headcanon | a sweet reconciliation

request: i hate you. i mean i love you. but i hate you writing that breakup headcannon it hurt me so much. PLEASE do something fluffier like getting back together with them after a breakup?! BECAUSE YOU BROKE MY HEART

disclaimer: it's a continuation from the headcanon a nasty breakup, i recommend reading it first!

josh.

i’m guessing that, considering the breakup was ugly and painful, something tells me the process of getting back together would be weird. what do i mean? i think josh would start by feeling completely hurt, even betrayed, so he wouldn’t be so welcoming with you. but his mind would play tricks on him, and the reality was that he’s in love with you (considering he didn’t break up with you and was more the other way around), so i can imagine josh trying to keep that wall of coldness around him but the minimum sign of you desperately wanting him back would break that wall and josh would let out what he truly feels and would immediately want to go back with you.

it had been a long time since the last moment you had seen josh. you remembered the scene quite well; josh remained in silence as you picked up your stuff from his studio. the sound of aching hearts was the only thing that could be heard in that room, and you were sure that was the last memory you had of josh. you had spent quite of a time trying to block some memories inside your head, and now the breakup was all you could remember. on josh’s side, he had lost his sparkle the second that argument started, and it soon completely vanished as you walked away from him at the studio. so much there was for him to say to you, but words were not coming out from his heart, and so he let you walk away without making a sound. months later, he was regretting every single unspoken word, as now his heart was suffering the consequences from not speaking up. you were sure that maintaining contact with danny was quite dangerous, and such a fact became evident as you arrived at his birthday party. the possibility of running into your ex was higher than 100% and yet you couldn’t disappoint your best friend. dressed as perfectly as you could, you took a deep breath before crossing the entrance, finding yourself with quite of a crowded apartment. nobody seemed to be paying attention to you except for the birthday boy who, also, was concentrating on everybody else. the sudden feeling of being invisible, for once, felt nice and you took refuge in that. however, a pair of eyes were laying on you since you had entered the place, and it took you a couple of minutes to meet them. all the things danny had said about josh not being himself anymore came back in a sudden as you read his face. he truly was evidently unhappy, and guilt was now possessing you. you tried hard to ignore his presence but, minutes later, you found yourself sitting at the balcony, surprisingly, sharing drinks with your ex boyfriend. the silence was unbearable and you had to speak.

“i miss you” the words came out so suddenly that you barely caught yourself saying them.

the shock took over both of your bodies, yet josh remained silent. you thought of taking them back, blaming the alcohol in your veins. but there was no regret there; you truly missed him.

“i know we ended things in the worst way possible but i truly thought i could live without you” you swallowed before continuing “i should apologize, but i know you don’t deserve to accept my apology. i just neede-”

“fuck, y/n” the sound of his voice cracking made you look up to him, watching as he struggled to keep his composure “when did you cast a spell on me?” he laughed to himself before meeting your gaze “i fucking miss you so much, i’ve spent hours, days, months working on everything i fucked up in. i don’t ever wanna lose you again, not because of my stupid self. i’m opening my eyes to what’s truly important, and i understand now, i really do. music can wait, fans can wait, my brothers can wait. but you can’t wait; you’re my life, i can’t postpone you anymore. and now i can’t breathe without you”

you were lacking words as josh was lacking air after spitting out his entire heart. with tears in your eyes, you closed the space between you two. you embraced him in your arms before stealing a quick kiss, one that josh took advantage of to taste you again. the mere act was enough of an answer; the correct person deserves a second chance.

sam.

i have the idea that, to get back with sam, it would have to be a coincidence of life. i mean, taking into account how the relationship ended, i have the feeling neither of you would want to see each other again, as both of you are hurt for different reasons. and what i mean is that i feel like life would locate the two of you at the same place and that sign of destiny or fate would make both of you remember why you began dating in the first place.

you had made a choice and it was to never see sam again. the words he had spoken to you, the ones he had thrown out of his mouth like fire had burned every ounce of your soul, and they echoed for a whole year. the consequence of that breakup was louder than the entire relationship and yet you missed sam a lot. he had been such an important part of your life, he had changed it from one day to the other as if it was simple. the mark he had left in your heart was too deep to be able to cover up, no matter how many stupid dates you could get in the middle. the pain of missing someone who you believed was not for you could hurt worse than any other type of pain. the need to stop thinking was begging you to listen, and it took you a whole year, a lot of alcohol and close friends to finally be able to forget him. and then it happened; how is it possible that, of all the coffee shops in the world, you and sam decided to attend the same one, at the same time? he was sitting alone, headphones on as he worked on his laptop, and his eyes were nailed on yours. all sorts of emotions twisted your stomach upside down and then sam smiled shyly, waving his hand as if nothing had happened a year earlier. after taking your order, you hesitated before finding an empty table. your unsolicited loneliness was soon taken away from you by a new yet familiar visitor. this known stranger sat in front of you, with nothing but nervousness taking over as he greeted you. the atmosphere was awkward, but you were not mad. you were not upset either; despite it all, it felt right. it felt precise, it felt completely divine. you could swore sam was shining, as if someone was pointing at you a secret message: this man was meant for you.

“it’s been long, huh?” you could easily tell sam was struggling with his words as he watched the barista interrupt shamelessly to leave your coffee by your hand

“a really long time” you were as nervous, anyways, though you let your heart guide your mind for once

“you look amazing, as always” he bit his lip as he dared himself to look at you, and you blushed under his gaze

“can say the same about you, sam” you fought that smile back, but it escaped from your lips anyways.

“i never expected to run into you” you watched as he wiggled his fingers around, as if he was telling them not to touch you.

like a siren singing a song, your mind ordered you, leaving you deaf and blind. you took his hand in yours, found his eyes and spoke the following words in the softest tone you could find.

“maybe we needed to meet”

danny.

despite the breakup being on your hands, i sense danny would be the first to reach out to you. like i can imagine the kiszkas talking with danny and advising him to talk with you, as communication seemed to have been the issue that brought the separation. and so, i feel like danny would find a mature solution, like sitting down to talk, and thanks to that you would notice that leaving him was not the right choice at all, and that by talking about your feelings you two could eventually function perfectly.

when your assistant ran into your office with such a look on her face, you feared the worst. you had been keeping news about your ex boyfriend for a while, but soon the voices began shutting up and it had been a short time since the last you had heard about him. for some reason, you always pictured bad scenarios upon sudden visits, and now your assistant looked like she had seen someone dying. you allowed her to come in properly, and the statement that danny was requesting to see you brought life back to your soul. the idea still scared you, as you had been working hard to avoid him. but as you signaled your assistant to let him inside your office, you began overthinking everything. however, the kind soul of daniel had brought lunch with him, along with a cheesy yet loving smile. his warm aura made you relax in your spot, while you asked him to sit with you. he refrained himself to only ask for a shared lunch and you agreed to it, eating in silence as you digested the good choice of food. only after being finished, danny brought up the real reason behind his visit: he had been talking with his brothers, and their opinion was right and shared. danny wanted to talk, just truly communicate every single issue that was left mute after a nasty breakup. it felt correct and mature, and you thanked daniel for being that way. as if an angel had possessed you, in the coolness of the moment, you managed to form sentences explaining everything you had been shutting up about. and just like magic, danny listened and proposed several, really good solutions to problems you thought were lost. your ex lover was opening doors you had no idea even existed, and light could be seen coming from them. that feeling you had been eating up, the one making you feel life was bad, was now suddenly gone as you stared into danny’s eyes.

“i don’t know how you do that, but you always bring peace to my dangerous ocean” you spoke softly, landing your chin on your hands, as you propped yourself on the desk.

“we’re the perfect balance, i always tell you that” and, like always, danny was right

after a quiet moment, which you used to think things throughout, you spoke once again.

“what now?” you knew the answer to your question, but you needed to hear it from him. before replying, however, danny grabbed your hands and gave them a soft squish

“now we start all over again”

jake.

with jake i also feel he would be the one searching for that reconciliation. it was his own life the one that caused the breakup, so he would probably try to find solutions to that problem, anything that could mean you go back to him. it would take him a long time to actually allow himself to see you, i feel guilt would take him over for a while.

days seemed longer without you, jake could tell. he had hoped he never had to learn about life without you, but now it was a reality he must endure. as much as he loved his family and close friends, none of them brought to his life the serenity and love you would always provide. it was a special pinch of golden, innocent yet spirited love that jake treasured so badly. he had made sure for a long time that you lived a peaceful life by his side, yet it was his own life that had betrayed him. thanks to that, you were no longer his, and jake’s world was slowly crumbling down. it took josh’s intervention for jake to see clearly. crying over the breakup was definitely not the solution, and by now he was realizing it was also killing him slowly. he first intended to get over you, but every single thing around him reminded to the love he once shared with you, one that he still had and was never going to leave behind. he wanted so bad to see you, be able to hold your face once more. it was all he needed to continue living, though there was a reality he was ignoring: once he could have you, jake knew he could never let you go. and just like that, those words came back to him. by josh’s invitation, you showed up to the last concert of the year. it was a tiny, short moment in your life that you had free, and you thought seeing the boys one last time was not gonna hurt. but seeing jake enjoying the lifestyle he had always searched for truly did ache. you wanted to believe so badly that you could provide him that amount of happiness, but now it seemed evident that your love could never match the love music had for jake. still under josh’s request, you stayed around, waiting patiently to see the band. once access was granted to you, you were guided backstage, only to be allowed to enter one room, an empty one containing your ex lover. your eyes met and never left each other as the door behind you closed, the sound making both of your hearts stop. at that exact moment, you felt as if your soul left your body and you could watch it merge with jake’s soul, which also happened to have abandoned its vessel. now soulless you could think straight, and straight in front of your face you had jake, waiting for you to make a move. one step was all you could take but was all jake needed before jumping into your arms, holding closely as if you could ever run away. you hugged back, letting all those emotions finally be released. the desperation was taking over jake and he did exactly as he had planned; he held your face in his hands and stayed close, as he let go every word he had been thinking for days.

“i know it all” he started, a nervous smile showing up “i figured it all out, my love. i finally see clearly what was missing in my life. i have been nothing but unhappy for a long time and just now i realize it was you who made me happy. yes, music is my passion. but passion dies with time and so be it. but you were mine and that was exactly all i needed. and i know how much my lifestyle sucks, i know” he took a deep breath before continuing “but i’ve figured it all out, y/n. come with me, i’m begging you. i know of a million jobs you can have inside our crew. i don’t care, you can abandon everything, leave all behind and join me. and when i’m complete, when my passion dies, i’ll abandon it all for you. love is about sacrifice, it’s about giving up to let in. i want you in my life, i know you want me in yours. so, please, my love, accept me back. let me be your man once more”

you never noticed when you started crying and you were sure jake didn’t know either. the words were communicated with perfection and love, and you felt each one of them going straight into your heart. you understood so well the request of a sacrifice, as you too had thought of that before. you thought actions spoke louder than words, and so you sealed the reconciliation with the sweetest kiss. this love was meant to be real, with shared, selfless sacrifices.

#gvf #.gvftxt #greta van fleet #greta van fleet x reader #greta van fleet headcanon #greta van fleet headcanons #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #jake kiszka

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screechesincoherently · 2 years

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You Still Walked Out

Josh x Reader

Request: "hey if you’re taking requests then i’ve got a lil idea. so yk how josh never actually goes down on his knees singing safari song? well what if one concert he actually does bc while he’s singing he sees his ex who actually left him and came to the concert bc of whatever reason (idk what else to go in this lil story lol) thanks in advance tho!"

I really liked the idea of this, and I hope you like it!

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 611

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“Come on Josh. Just for one show, I think the fans would lose their shit.”

“That’s so cheesy though. And there’s a whole hassle with having to try and gracefully get back up.”

“Babe, you make everything look effortless, and they’d be too busy freaking out to notice you possibly stumble if you can’t get up.”

“I don’t think I’m going to. Seems too predictable.”

“At least do it once before we get married, I’m begging you.”

“Fine.”

That is all that ran through Y/n’s head as she stood with her roommate in the audience of the concert.

She had met her roommate in their junior year at university, and refused to indulge her in her past love life.

Y/n was always entranced by the boys’ performances, and this wasn’t any different. Her eyes wandered from Danny creating the heartbeat of the band, to Sam letting the vibrations of the soundwaves beneath his feet take him over, to Jake taking over the audience’s attention with his guitar solo. She refused to let her eyes move to the “front man” of the group. He didn’t deserve her attention or focus. He lost that privilege.

Eventually, she couldn’t ignore him anymore, no matter how hard she tried. The bridge was coming up, and he was making his way towards their side of the stage.

He had spotted her in the middle of Jake’s solo. She was actively avoiding his figure no matter how obnoxious he made his movements.

As soon as the bridge started, he was right in front of Y/n.

“Do you remember what I said, when I got down on my knees?”

He dropped right there, making eye contact with his last love the whole time.

Josh’s tear-stained face stared at the floor, not daring to look up.

“I can’t. Josh, you know this isn’t going to solve anything.”

“Please–” He started, voice breaking.

His eyes darted across the floor, from Y/n’s feet to the small box that was hastily dropped to his side.

“-- I don’t know how I can fix this. Please tell me what I can do to fix this. To fix us.”

“Goddamnit Josh, I have tried time and time again to work on this with you. I refuse to be the one who puts all of the effort into this. I shouldn’t have to tell you what to do to make this better.” Y/n said lifting her hands out of his before starting to stand up.

“Where are you going?” Josh whispered as he finally dared to look at her, fear evident in his tone. When his eyes landed on her face, he saw that she wasn’t any better off than he was.

“I don’t know.” Was all that she said before she walked out of his house.

“Oh my God, he was right there! And looking at you the whole time!” Her roommate squealed as they exited the venue.

“Mhmm.” Y/n numbly agreed.

“How are you not shitting yourself right now? I’d be passed out and in the walk-in.”

“He’s just not my type I guess.”

“That’s crazy. If I didn’t know better, I would say you’re just trying to act like you’re too cool for them.”

“Whatever you want to think. Wanna grab a drink from the bar?” Y/n asked, nodding her head in the direction of the nearest tavern.

“Only if you’re buying.”

“At least do it once before we get married, I’m begging you.”

He technically kept his promise. They weren’t getting married anytime soon– at least not if she could help it. He got down on his knees, but she still walked out on him.

#josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #josh kiszka gvf #josh kiszka imagine #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet #gvf

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jokersmeowmeow · 3 years

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Apex Legends - affection hcs <333

Yooo y'all, I'm sorry I've been absent for quite a looong time, BUT I've been busy and unfortunately I still am, so here I can offer You some hcs with our lovely legends to recompensate my inactivity :3

Mirage:

Soft. Softer. THE SOFTEST!!!

Mirage is the most touch-starved person You've ever seen, but how can You possibly mind? He is an angel <333

He may make an impression of a laid-back alvaro, but he's actually really anxious about what he can and can't do with You - You have to state Your boundaries clear.

After You do this, he is STILL unsure about everything and in need of constant reassurance if this is okay if he touches You like this or kisses like that, but that only adds to his cuteness.

Simple gestures are able to melt him completely, just cup his face and tell him You love him, kiss the tip of his nose, nuzzle against him, and he'll be all Yours, almost in tears.

He longs for such affection and reciprocates every single act of it; for instance, he adores hugging You from behind randomly and hide his face in the crook of Your neck to breathe in the smell of Yours and feel the velvet softness of Your skin.

His growth brushing against Your neck tickles You and hence causes You to giggle - listening to Your laugh soothes him totally.

He does his best to complement You, as he thinks You deserve it and he regards You as the most perfect person he's met, even more perfect than him ;DDD (seriously, because he really thinks that, he's gonna boast about You being his lady all the time so that the whole world shall know You're a couple)

B U T

He's bad with words, we know that. Stuttering ruins and at the same time makes everything more adorable when it comes to Mirage

"Oooh sweety, You look so so extrard-ext-extraordrin... Just amazing, You look amazing..."

His face turns blood red in seconds, but to be honest with You, that's the moment in which You want to spread kisses all over his face the most.

After a long day apart, prepare for being trapped in a makeahift cage of his arms and arms of his decoys.

He just runs to You excitedly with his arms spread widely, wraps them around You, and then You feel more and more of them snaking here and there. He missed You and can't imagine not exposing his longing for You to You.

He tries to do his best in Your relationship, he really does, but his anxiety hidden under the veneer of pride tells him he isn't enough for You, so talk to him about that, learn him how to cope with feelings and not be ashamed of them; he'll be more than thankful, nothing solves problems better than honest conversation.

Moreover, after a hard "psychology session", he enjoys sharing a hot, steamy shower with You.

He rests his forehead against Yours and closes his eyes; now You can see him as himself, no pretending, no fake confidence, no armor, just his bare body, naked mind and boiling water streaming down Your chests and backs.

Bangalore:

This woman. She is tough. She has no weak spots... Apart from You.

She casually looks as if she was ready for murder, but when she looks at You, she immediately softens.

You're like pain killers to her; You calm her down in split seconds and it's amazing to watch her features soothe, one of the corners of her lips travel up in a delicate, hardly noticeable smile.

She isn't an affectionate kind of person, especially in front of the others, but she is more than glad to receive affection from You.

She gives the best bear hugs and let me tell You, the feeling of the warmth of her muscular, womanly body, the plush of her breasts and hard abdomen... It's irreplacable.

She doesn't say it out loud then, but You can perfectly sense how devoted to Your relationship she is, she confesses her loyalty to You with her whole form embracing Your own.

One of her favourite moments during the day are early mornings; she usually wakes up just before dawn while You're still deeply asleep. Then, she can adore Your peaceful face looming up from under the duvet and graced with first golden rays of sunlight finding their way to Your bedroom through the window.

Before she leaves, careful not to wake You up, she watches You for a while and tries to picture this beautiful view in her mind precisely and keep there for the rest of the day.

She kisses Your forehead gently and silently gets out of the room, one last time glancing at You behind her back from above her shoulder before shutting the door.

She's keen to talk to You about everything and she's beyond recognition then; You can talk to her about everything and nothing, starting from Your own serious issues and ending on exchanging some girlish gossips.

Whatever topic You throw on her, she's always willing to not only listen to You, but also actively partakes in the conversation.

During such talks, she really does enjoy having her arm wrapped around You whilst You're resting against her on the couch.

She'll most probably be caressing Your shoulder with her thumb without even realizing it.

Your laugh causes her to laugh widely, which is a wonderful chain reaction as she rarely smiles on her own.

I must mention jealousy here; Bang hates seeing someone flirting with You.

Her face lines turn even sharper, she grits her teeth not to let herself lose control over her emotions.

But if she has enough, she'll most certainly approach You two steadily, pull You to her side and glare deadly at the motherfucker daring to flirt with You as if she was looking at a pathetic pile of horseshit.

It's likely she'll warn them to fuck off before she shoves a granade up their ass.

I know this is amusing and boosts Your ego, but spare her nerves, she just can't lose You and wants to be the best version of herself for You.

Pathinder:

Cinnamon roll made of metal.

He loves everyone as friends and because, unlike the most of the others, You actually reciprocate his affection, he WORSHIPS You in particular.

He's a hug-person, that's why often he forgots how painful it is when he wraps his arms a little too tightly around You.

When You politely tell him to let You go and state why, he's a trembling mess.

He asks You questions whether he harmed You, made You uncomfortable and if You're okay. Reassure him everything's okay, please, all he wants is to make You feel loved and appreciated.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry, friend... Can I get a second chance? I promise I won't be uncomfortable anymore" 👉👈

You can't say "no" to him; he hugs You much more tenderly, he's calculating his every move when he slowly embraces You again.

He may be boxy and angular, but the metal he's build of is pleasantly warm, or at least it seems like it because of Path in general.

You press Your hands to his back and cheek to his chest, and when You open Your eyes, pink light radiating from the screen on his torso blinds You as a large, smiley face with heart-eyes appears on it.

This causes You to giggle, and then him; You two could stay like this for eons, him resting his head on the tip of Yours and just, laughing innocently like little children.

He's the number one comforter, this needs to be said. Whenever You feel blue, Path emerges near You out of nowhere and is ready to give his best to You.

His arm is instantly around You; he takes You somewhere peaceful and quiet, probably to Your bedroom, and sits You gently on the edge of Your bed.

He kneels in front of You, palming Your hands on Your knees and looking up at Your sorrow face.

"Hey, I don't like it when You're sad, it makes me sad, too. Path is here for You, and will be even when they break me apart. That'd be even better! There would be more of me to listen to You!"

His positivity, even in the darkest of times, is able to lift anyone's spirits in a flash.

While venting Your disappointment, anger, helplessness and other damaging emotions on him, he listens to You letting Your words sink in his mind and brushes single tears flowing down Your swollen cheeks every now and then with his thumb.

Surprisingly, he's more gentle than any man build of flesh, You wouldn't recognize whether it's the touch of his robotic fingers or soft human hands if You didn't know him.

He a l w a y s manages to make You laugh somehow, You actually don't even notice when Your mood changes from gloomy and suicidal to amused and happy.

"Low-five?" he asks, still crouching and showing his flat hand to You, so that You can give him low "high-five" and begin Your day again, but better.

Octane:

Speedy boi only You are able to slow down.

There's a significant spark of rivarly burning between You and keeping Your relationship sufficiently heated.

And that's why You enjoy competitive video games; You sit on the couch next to each other and follow the flying controllers in Your hands.

At some point You begin to interrupt each other's playing not only virtually, but in real life as well.

He nudges You with his elbow and You give it back by shoving Your smaller form towards him with the maximal strength.

Finally, You put the game aside and You start wrestling; it looks a little brutal, but You both know it's just fun.

You roll down from the sofa and fall on the floor, Your limbs tangled together, You two laughing and screaming at each other; an adorable picture of the pair of energetic fireballs.

You don't even care whether anybody remarks on Your playful joshing, at most You just stop for few seconds and simultaneously snap at them.

Then, You continue what You've started and what I must state here is the fact that Octane isn't merciful. He comes up with an idea of tickling.

You can't even attempt to grab his hand and stop him, he is already faster than You and he knows EXACTLY where to touch You to make You double up with laughter.

Only when he pins You to the ground by Your wrists and You officially give up, he lets You go, proud of his success.

He loves sneaking behind You and picking You up randomly during the day, making You shriek and swear in surprise.

He loves it when You swear at him in spanish, especially if it's him who taught You his native language.

You sometimes do this on purpose just to see him staring at You blankly.

He's also more than glad to give You piggyback; having You pressed against his back and giggle in his ear is pure bliss, what man wouldn't love that?

He may start spinning around or run with You on his back so be prepared, he's unpredictable, especially when excited, even without drugs.

Last, but not least, if You manage to somehow calm him down and sit him still, when You're snuggling against his side, he gets flustered by the view of Your leg caressingly sliding up and down his prosthesis.

"Ah, hermosa, eres mi mejor droga."

Fuse:

The daddiest daddy among all the daddies in the world. Lucky You!

He's the type of man loyal to You to the grave and he's more than pleased to show it; he rarely leaves Your side, places his hand on Your hip or loosely embraces Your shoulders with his arm.

He subtly establishes the boundaries of reciprocal contact between You and someone who might be potentially interested in You, but he's not possessive. This man doesn't lack finesse if he wants.

You kindle the flame of artistic creativity within him, thus he writes songs for You; he loves singing them and playing his guitar for You later.

He may forget to go on with the lyrics if You start swaying to the rhythm of his music. He knows You do this to purposely tease him and test his patience, but he's prepared for losing all of his attention divisibilty.

Focusing his gaze on Your effortless, wanton moves is enough to make his day.

When he's done playing, he expects appreciation with words ("Aaand? How was it, m'lady, eeh?") and with actions (he usually pokes his cheek and awaits well-deserved kiss).

For the first time, You fell for his little trick he pulled on You; when You were going to place a kiss on his cheek in rewarding gesture, he lightly grabs You by Your chin and makes You kiss him on his lips.

After that incident, every time You reward him, You intentionally "fall" for these tricks of his or it's You who pulls him for the kiss first.

You two giggle into each other's mouths and wordlessly swear to make that little game Your own ritual.

Often, when the situation gets heated, he finds his way to Your neck and the touch of his rough mustache on Your delicate skin sends shivers down Your spine - he loves it when Your throat vibrates because of Your sirenic chuckle.

You adore joking together; he's the master of pun and dad jokes, hence You two sometimes get trapped in a vicious circle of laughter.

Then, You just lean against each other and laugh so hard tears start flowing down Your cheeks, especially when each of You tell new jokes, funnier and funnier than previous ones.

Of course, You two enjoy a good, old game of poker, too; You sit opposite each other on the bed, legs crossed, and try so hard not to snort while glancing at each other's pokerfaces.

He attempts to distract You, make You laugh, cheat and make this card game the most ridiculous it only can be and You hit back, obviously.

If he wins, You throw cards in the air and make him pay for it; You jump on him, but he's quick to incapacitate You by lying his bulky body on Yours so that You have to haul Yourself up from under him to catch a breath.

If You win, it pretty much ends in the same way.

#apex legends #apex mirage #apex octane #apex bangalore #apex fuse #apex pathfinder #apex headcanon #apex hcs #apex game #apex fandom

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dizzydancingdreamer · 3 years

Text

Men who I think would be soft for their baby for no other reasons than because I want them to be, in no particular order but still numbered ten to one because I like countdowns...

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I really do be out here exposing myself for a few of these men but I don’t care I don’t need “proof” or “common sense” or “just plain survival instincts” I just need men who are uncharacteristically soft for their babies

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Don’t come at me this is for FUN

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Part two

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10. Gally

Did some bad things, some were his fault and some weren’t, who is rough around the edges, has superiority issues, and needs a therapist more than a girl

STILL SOFT FOR HIS BABY

Higher up in a revolutionary movement and still goes to bed early to cuddle his baby

She sits on his lap during meals and he fights everyone who says anything

Fights anyone who even looks at her wrong

Tells her he loves her at least three times before he leaves on missions without her

When she goes with him he’s literally next to her the entire time

Does not let her go for hours when they finally get back to base

So fucking soft for her and only her

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9. Finnick Odair

Good guy who feels like he has to be bad in order to stay alive but falls a little bit in love with it for a little too long

Begged her to move in with him after his games

Let her decorate the entire house however she wanted

Writes her love notes before every time he goes to the capital

Cries to her when he comes home every single time

When she has to go into the games he volunteers immediately even though he technically isn’t allowed and pulls strings with President Snow to be able to fight

So he literally kills for her

And makes sure she never has to fight

Marries her and tells Coin he won’t fight, stays alive for his baby

10/10 soft as fuck

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8. Stephen Strange

Narcissistic doctor Avenger who uses the phone while driving

This is the one I have the least proof for but I’m 110% sure when he isn’t wearing the cape he has his baby wrapped around him like a backpack

Crumbles for his baby, I’m talking to his knees, overwhelmed by how pretty and beautiful and wonderful she is, hugging her around the waist

Loves the feeling of her fingers through his hair

Brings her to every Avengers Gala and practically begs her to leave early so they can go cuddle and eat pizza

Gets so scared whenever he has to do something dangerous

Drops what he’s doing when she calls him, has told off Steve and Tony (don’t start with me) and everyone else

Peter called him a simp once and after he googled it he looked him dead in the eyes and agreed and then packaged one of the donuts Bucky brought in for his baby and then took it and left

Man is SOFT

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7. Vincent Griffith

Reformed witch who frequently gets addicted to dark sacrificial magic and makes choices that are just this side of morally corrupt

Has skipped so many meetings as regent that he probably shouldn’t even be regent anymore

The king of date night, dancing, fine dining, jazz music, picnics, midnight rituals

Plans every little detail and gets Josh and Davina to help him

Uses magic to close down entire restaurants for the perfect night

Always holds her hand and sits her in the front row of his coven meetings and pauses the meetings accidentally when he glances over to her and she gives him a thumbs up and he has to literally stop and smile

Holds her purse without her having to ask, will go to seven different restaurants when she changes her mind on where to eat, hexes people who harm her

Big softie

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6. Indiana Jones

Literally a womanizing grave robber with very few morals

Has filled museums with all the things he has STOLEN

Would still protect his baby from booby traps though

Dresses her up and takes her out everywhere

Cancels class whenever she asks and more often than not when she doesn’t

Would be closer to the snakes so that she won’t have to be

Wouldn’t even think about yelling even when in mortal danger, even when it’s her fault for putting them in that situation

Answers every question even though she’s asked the same question a thousand times

Can’t sleep without her at all

I’m not sorry, he’s soft

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5. Will Turner

Most feared and ruthless pirate on the sea

Torched a town once because his baby was treated a little too cold by a few too many people

Literally would and has fought a life altering curse for her and won

Kills so many people and still goes to bed early to cuddle in the captain’s quarters

Lets her walk all over the ship in his shirt and watches from behind the wheel, has thrown a man or two overboard when they stare too long

She didn’t even notice

Plays with her on the beach whenever she wants even if it hinders the plans of the crew

Softie alert

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4. Elijah Mikaelson

A one thousand year old+ elitist vampire with slight anger issues who has zero reason to fall in love with a plain mortal woman

But there is no way that is going to stop me

Would rip literal hearts out for his baby until he is soaked with blood

Oh, she stubbed her toe at the bar?

The bar is now torched to the ground along with everyone inside

It’s for his baby

Rebuilds the bar for her, puts it in her name, now it’s her bar and she’s making a shit ton of money

Buys her so many things, even when she says no, especially when she says no

All she has to do is pout and it’s game over

Has left so many business meetings for her that it is insane

Once bought her a chair seat at Disney because she said she liked Tangled one time and now she makes important decisions she is not qualified to make

He’s soft, soft, soft

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3. Eric Coulter

A leader of a terrorist radical government who has outright anger issues and hates people who are different from him

BUUUUUT wouldn’t yell at his baby who is probably from Amity and probably got tricked into being in Dauntless

Lets her sleep in his room because fuck the training quarters that’s sus as hell (even though he’s the one who arranged the training quarters)

Lets her skip all the fighting and does not give a fuck when he gets called out for it, will literally abuse all special privileges

Would probably do the training simulation for her and tell her how to beat it

Trails behind her wherever she goes, holds her hand in the cafeteria, has her on his lap when he gets tattoos

Lets her visit home whenever she wants and threatens anyone who says other wise

HE’S SOFT I JUST KNOW IT OKAY

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2. Kylo Ren

Kinda evil Supreme leader of the galaxy who has killed many people, including his dad, some who deserved it and some who did not

But wouldn’t even yell at his baby-- would cry if she cried

She sleeps in his bed and when Hux calls him out on it he breaks a desk and then almost kills him

She walks around the ship and he follows her like a puppy and chokes people out when he hears them call him a puppy in their heads

Gives her everything she wants and more, surprises her all the time

Surprise trips to beach planets and fancy events

Once he gave her a whole ass planet

Always hugging her no matter who is around and what is going on,

The softest supreme leader in the galaxy

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1. Thomas Shelby

A literal deadly mob boss who shoots first and asks questions never

Would 110% kill for his lady (and has killed for his lady)

Sexy as fuck, looks good covered head to toe in blood

Yes, that deserved a point

Soft as fuck for his baby, would shoot a gun and then turn around and listen to her talk about what she wants to knit for their baby

Has paused important mob meetings because his baby wanted to gossip about what Dolly said to her at church four Sundays ago that she forgot to tell him

Keeps her as far removed from the lifestyle as possible even when that means he has to remove himself from it at points to be with her

Has skipped so many poker games without being asked purely because he wants to go home and hug his wife

He is the MOST SOFT

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#thomas shelby #elijah mikaelson #kylo ren #stephen strange #indiana jones #gally tmr #gally #eric coulter #will turner #vincent griffith #finnick odair #The Hunger Games #the vampire diaries #the originals #star wars #the avengers #divergent #the maze runner #the pirates of the caribbean

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hueningshaped · 3 years

Text

★ comme des garçons | y.jh

▰ genre: some angst some fluff stupid stuff

▰ word count: 4.5k *sighs*

▰ synopsis / request #2: (btw anon deserves the world)

▰ possible warnings: vulgar language and a lot of insults and use of ‘stupid’ and ‘idiot’ and some blood and also this really sucks but let’s get into it

"Late again, are we?" Jeonghan crooned with a smirk.

"Shut the fuck up." You hissed in reply.

This was a common intersection of events, and for today, it was the greeting to one of your electives, to a class that you needed simply for the credit. Nestled in between two of your pals, Joshua and Jihoon, Jeonghan had a perfect view of all who walked in, including you. How you both shared the same group of friends was beyond your comprehension.

All you knew was that you hated Jeonghan, and he hated you.

"Well, well, well, you'd think we had a pair of cats in this class because of all the fights," Wonwoo commented from beside you, without looking up from his stack of notes. "It's getting bad."

You'd shoot him a scowl that you never had the pleasure of seeing him catch, or maybe he knew this and chose not to for this reason. This was an everyday thing, most people knew this. You stuck with an eye roll and decided to resume your day.

The others have made it their mission to reiterate to you that you can't hate him forever, but considering how long you have and everyday you have to fight with him, you insisted that they were wrong.

It wasn't even your fault to begin with. This years long dispute fazed your minds so completely that if you were both to try and hash things out from the initial moment, you would misremember things and another inevitable argument would insinuate.

All that was known that when you both first encountered the other, you were having a rough day and decided to keep your chin up and not explain yourself. New to assertiveness, you took the wrong way.

The establishment is that the two of you had shown up to a class that had been canceled. That fateful encounter was a little short of a full two years.

"Did you know that you're wearing your shirt backwards?" Jeonghan asked from beside you, knocking you out from the reality of reading the mini poster on the door. You turned to him, mouth ajar. Profanities circled the entirety of your unconscious as you turned to him and mustered the classiest, friendliest, least offended smile.

His expression left little room to think he could have possibly been genuine about it. Nor did his next comment.

"Your eyes are really red, too, and you're wearing two left shoes, too." His tone was unintelligible and once you saw that smile, your rage unsettled completely.

There was perhaps some more said: passive aggressive backhanded comments.

"Do you always state the obvious?" You probably asked. It must have been rude because why else would Jeonghan victimize himself.

"Are you kidding?" Maybe he said.

"Well, do you think I don't realize?"

"Well, there's a lot going on on you. It happens. I think you can relax."

"I don't even know who you are. Don't tell me what to do."

"Alright, alright. Jeez. For all that you're wearing and talking, you sure have a lot of pride and attitude, may I add."

The muscles of your neck tightened at his audacity. If only you knew that this would offer the first of many collisions of tension from him and your own body's hyperactivity.

With the lack of elaboratation, there was no way an argument and rivalry was not going to ensue. Once the argument and backhanded insults had been ping-ponged and the day had concluded to begin a brand new one, you did feel some remorse.

The next day, when class resumed to its usual course, you had fixed your appearance and made sure to whip up a nice statement that would blow over yesterday, so you could both laugh at it and move on, like adults. Despite your hopes, Jeonghan surrounded himself with friends he seemed to make out of thin air and gave you the filthiest smirk you could see when you walked in.

With the class' conclusion, you chose that moment to try and catch him before you went separate ways, but he was waiting for you outside.

"Looking sharp, huh, Y/N?" You furrowed your eyebrows. Why would he use your name just because he knew it?

"Yes, and what about it, Jeonghan?" You retorted already feeling your heart begin to fumble in its trigonometry and physics to maintain your rate.

"Anyway," you go, but he cut you off, scoffing and crossing his arms with a satisfied grin. "Why is everyone so inferior to you, huh? Am I talking to Dr. Superiority Complex? And cutting me off, too."

"Will you shut up, you prick!" You slapped a palm over your mouth too late and his own aloof eyes widened.

Everything else melted away into the timeline of your hatred for him. A professor overheard the very events of that day, knocking your grade down a few points. Soonyoung had encouraged you to take revenge on whoever was causing you trouble, which you did. Ever since then, it all remained the same. How you both never managed to move on from was beyond the two of you.

Since then, your soul has not known peace. Granted, the entanglement with the fiend that he was put you through much turmoil and moments that one could define as nothing other than consistent low points.

Bickering and exchanging banter had nestled into your very habits and schedule, even at your big age.

Neither of your friends liked it. If you asked Seungcheol, he'd say that it made him feel uneasy enough to not hang out with the two of you. The best boy in the world refused to enter the same room as you two.

Tonight, there was an arrangement to play Super Smash Bros on Josh's Switch. Evening came and your stroll to the apartment homes became a path directly into the night. Of course, the dark goaded you on to run, looking back this way and that. Leave it to you making the worst choices and pulling facades over them. You truly should have taken Wonwoo's offer to be picked up.

Instead of running into one of your many friends on the way over, it had to be your greatest enemy driving slowly beside you, chuckling and rolling his window down.

"I'd never pegged you for a scaredy-cat, you prideful, little thing." He laughed from the vehicle. It ran gently and with a robust shape, similarly to one that a rich, teenaged girl would be gifted with. You kept your chin high and gaze forward, trudging on with a frown burning across your lips. "Turning down Wonwoo's offer which would have saved you from this —"

With little thinking, you simply resolved to peering over at him and speaking in one breath of a "please piss off," and it made him laugh all the more.

The heightened scores of muscle in your neck and shoulders noticeably melted, despite the abyss of woods and trashy alleys between the apartment homes. His sickening cherubic eyes were trained on you; he would put it in all the work of guarding you, it seemed.

Right when a bridge was nearing, his miniature jabs came to a halt and he upped the notch by honking at you.

"What?" You shouted, face slack with exasperation.

"Get in the car, I'm serious! Idiot!" Jeonghan nodded emphatically.

After back and forths of deliberation, you groaned all the way into his car, which he locked and unlocked until you threatened to puncture his tires with your pen.

The change in atmosphere followed with your own feelings. A lilac air freshener looped around his Calico Critter car decor as the low a/c filtered the air. At this angle, Jeonghan felt different. You had forgotten to shut the door behind you as you were all too engrossed with reading the pad of his music shuffle queue. His sigh whisked you away from your reading to his eyes.

"You could at least use your head to have gotten us there already. Y/N, seriously, I come out here and reach out a hand to you. Everyday you surprise me: you're so full of pride and you forget everything. I always wait for you to pick a struggle, but I guess you just love choosing every single one, huh!" He enunciated with a flat laugh and you had to frown at that.

The next song of whatever his playlist consisted of queued up some song your heart yearned to follow along to, as if your heart it thousands of times before.

"Sounds a lot like you think you know me, asshole..." you muttered under your breath and crossed your arms, keen on either forgetting about the passenger door still ajar or adamant on not doing it yourself since Jeonghan seemed to enjoy doing whatever he did, which inevitably made your life terrible.

He scoffed aloud. In one motion, he moved his arm around the head of your seat to improve his view.

"Sure, I do. Like I know you're the most insufferable person I've ever met." He tossed a few glances to the door, hoping to continue his game, but you peered over whatever possible dust particles and intrigued moths flutter over his unmoving headlights.

"God, Jeonghan," you sighed, not watching his growing leer.

"God, Y/N," he imitated you with an exaggerated tone.

"Jackass, can I speak? I just... It's been years, I know that much, since you like to preach that I know nothing, but all this time, you act like you know me. Day one, you've talked to me so informally. You always act like you have some right to speak to me and to speak to me like I'm some written character. Is that all you want? Some stupid feud with someone you clearly hate and don't want? You don't know me! You never have and you never will. So, back off."

A readied smirk, typically loaded with a bombshell of a constantly prepared retort, was expected, but to your surprise, his cherubic silhouette expressed an emotion you couldn't quite put in words. His eyes dawdled across your features, every island of flesh but your own eyes.

Wordlessly, Jeonghan then reached over you and your seat to shut the door. He was practically nose to nose to you.

Not another word was spoken, even after you were settled in playing games.

You were nestled between Chan and the arm of the grand futon, fist underneath the suppleness of your cheek.

"Hey, Y/N," Chan whispered from beside you, and you simply nodded, eyes fixed on the screen. "What happened?"

At that, you furrowed your eyebrows and peered over at him.

"Huh?"

His eyes widened in a flash and he shook his head, nudging your arm.

"I just never thought I'd see the day where you and Jeonghan hyung aren't ripping each other's hair out. I was thinking maybe he had a premonition and decided to grow up, but then Seungkwan hyung told us all that he saw you in the car with hyung."

"So, is everyone wondering the same thing?" You asked just at a whisper and Minghao from the opposite side of the sofa yelled, "Yes!"

Wonwoo turned around from in front of you and chuckled, nodding as if he had been waiting for someone to say it.

"Well?" Seungkwan practically shouted from over the couch, standing with arms crossed over his blazer clad chest. "Aren't you two going to tell us what's going on?"

Whoever turned down the volume of the television, even going so far as to pause the game, would pay, but the ice of the awkward cooled off whatever misdirected anger you held.

"Absolutely not." Goosebumps bloomed at the realization that you and Jeonghan had spoken simultaneously.

The two of you made eye contact, silently bickering over how to deal with the situation.

"You know what," Joshua piped up from another sofa, stretching an arm out in mild effort. "I don't think we should question this weird fate tonight; we should be thankful they're civil and in the same room."

The night bled away into comments like that, even as you tried your best to move on, since it seemed to you that Jeonghan was adamant in doing so. You had no business approaching him about why you didn't wish to speak to the other, and clearly neither did he. However, with the racket everyone was making over you and him not constantly doing your thing was eating you up at such a frequency that you were hardly up for continuing the game.

By eleven at night, Seokmin wanted to bake cookies, and unfortunately you had a bad taste in your mouth. Your perception of Jeonghan had snapped within a few minutes and it was crashing down before your eyes. For what reason, you felt you'd never know.

You don't quite remember rising and throwing a few goodbyes, unable to meet their eyes while heading out in a much more informal fashion as you arrived. It could have easily been one of your other friends who followed after you but in this case, it was Jeonghan.

"Hey, numbskull, don't you want a ride back? I give you one here, and you just walk out?" He called from the door, shivering enough to cross his arms into his body. You didn't meet his eyes, merely angling your neck to listen.

"I called my other friend to pick me up," his silhouette buckled into the corner of your eye. "Really wasn't expecting you to follow me out like this."

The colors of his figure shifted and the door shut with a rap behind him.

"Is that really what you want?" Jeonghan's tone dropped with his approach.

"What are you talking about?" It was then that you took the moment to look at him. Jeonghan's face typically held a leer that looked like he always knew more than you, but now, there was a knot of taut muscle where his eyebrows met.

A shimmer of headlights filtered over the anterior of the apartment complex. Your friend-chauffeur had arrived.

"Nothing." He breathed with a smile that almost broke the ice of his expression, but you glanced to the floor before nodding.

"Well, my ride's here." Jeonghan swallowed a lump down and mirrored your action. Part of reality felt like a scene out of a movie because of the loose air of the night but the tension between the two of you was so tight. You turned towards your friend, whose gaze was transfixed to their phone, and when you glanced back, he disappeared.

For the throng of the week's courses, Jeonghan changed his seating arrangement, and no longer seeking explanations to waste yours or his time, you assimilated with the change. Utilizing the pack of independently reticent students as the backdrop, you and him took turns surrounding yourselves by them.

A part of you felt much relieved of the burden of keeping your guard up to such a severe form, which he visibly did, as well. You heard well enough from Soonyoung and Mingyu. An even larger piece of you thirsted for something that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

Since Seungcheol was home this week, to commemorate his return, considering he had a habit of leaving every other week due to sports, he and the crew decided to throw one of those stupid parties where you drink and just meet people. Essentially, the remote of his and Joshua's place flipped topsy turvy when it came to these things, but they didn't mind.

Jeonghan no longer mattered to you nor was he a factor of whenever you had to make a decision. You accepted Wonwoo's and Soonyoung's offer of going and taking you to the party.

It had been six days since you last interacted with Jeonghan, as you had for the past three years.

"Isn't it too early to be drinking? We aren't even there yet." Soonyoung patted you from the backseat, tone thick with distant concern.

Wonwoo eyed you from the driver's seat, hands fastened at the wheel. All you did was shrug, turning back to halfheartedly grin at the boy, and with that done, you continued your trip to finishing the bottle of absinthe in your hand.

Drinking was no new concept to you. Using it to quell some sort of absence that you didn't comprehend was, however. It was something your friends took notice of.

Your arrival was just as rocky as it was from your residence to the party, vision fuzzy and dim.You made your way to the kitchen to rummage through possible brought snacks, even taking a few spare soju and beer bottles for sport. Opening them with a partially working mind inked painful calluses into your hands from the rigid caps of the bottles.

As Seungkwan whistled at your actions, something wet caused you to lose grip of one bottle, tripping to catch it, and before you knew it, there was a minor crowd growing at the sight of your bloody palm.

As loud as everything was, a part of you countered with how silent your world had become since you and Jeonghan wordlessly had gone separate ways.

"Does it hurt?" Minghao asked. You were now at the dining room table, a foldable one with metal legs that were surprisingly still standing despite being kicked in countless times. You shook your head and met the faces of your friends, scanning them for something you didn't know. It barely stung, but a fire lit from behind your eyes.

Soonyoung slapped your arm, recounting to you for the fourth time that you were in a guest room because you cut yourself.

The bass of the music met with the wall across from you and pictured frames of your friends trembled. A couple made out in the corner, limbs sprawled. For the most part, the room changed colors due to the LED lighting, which did nothing to help an intoxicated mind.

"Are you sure?" You asked, doubting Soonyoung's sadly sober mind — he had been ordered not to drink for the night, but Jihoon had promised him that next time, for sure.

Half your hand was bandaged and your head hurt. Pain had nothing to do with it, or the lack thereof, but you still felt like weeping.

As if you had been summoning the devil himself, Jeonghan let himself in without a word, without much of an entrance really, but you knew enough that it was him because you could read the back of his head.

"What did you do?" The timbre of his voice recused the tense knots of your shoulders without your notice. You looked into his eyes. It strangely felt as it had been years since you had done so.

"Hyung, I earned my PHD, that's what I did. I bandaged Y/N here and — "

"Soonyoung," the elder used a tone you were familiar with, one your professors would use when notifying you and him to leave the class after a fight got out of hand.

"Well, Y/N, I'll be on my way then," he announced with a laugh. "Take care of my patient, Jeonghan hyung."

Mirrored glares and giggles were shared between the two until it was just the two of you.

"I was talking to you. What did you do?" He crossed his arms at you, frowning at the slightest. It looked weird on him. His brindled hair crowned his head with few loose ends curling like some flowers towards the sun.

"Hey," Jeonghan waved his hand in front of you, expression all the same. You watched his figure get painted in fuschia with the changing colors.

"What?" You remarked harshly. He sighed loudly and reached out a palm to you.

Perhaps you took too long deciding what he wanted for his liking for him to just grasp it, his firm hand enveloping yours in a way that made you feel as if you were hanging over a pile of hot coals. Jeonghan joined you on the sofa, scanning over Soonyoung's work in the dim lighting.

"You do know I'm studying to be a pediatric nurse, right?" His voice was so silent so it was a miracle you heard it.

"No, what the fuck..." you blurted, confused he was being so informative, about as much he had to be on the first days of any class.

"Well, since you learned something new today," he started, using that familiar tone and you almost smiled. "I need to know if you did this on purpose."

Your lips parted at that.

"I what?"

"You're the only idiot I've ever known to confidently do the illogical thing. I swear, you numbskull, I've gotten so used to telling you it may as well be a catch phrase of mine." He ran his nimble fingers over the lines of the rest of your palm before glancing back up to catch your stare.

"You're crying," the words fell out of his mouth and you expressed your surprise with a bewildered expression. "I..."

Now, this was new territory.

"It's nothing, I don't know why I'm doing that," you shrugged it off and sniffled, a confirmation of your tears.

He scoffed, sitting back and crossing his arms.

"Of course, you'd say something stupid like that!" Jeonghan nudged a plastic bag of napkins towards you, which you took with a grumble to wipe your tears.

"Oh, so it's only me capable of saying stupid things! How come you only hear yourself and think it's me with the idiotic stuff?"

"You calling me an idiot?" He emphasized with a pointed finger towards you and then himself. Life returned to Jeonghan's face in full force.

"Yeah, of course, I am. You're the one who's always running their mouth as if your life depends on it!" You practically screamed.

He grinned, pearly teeth aglow in the dim room before dropping his eyebrows.

"Y/N, you always talk crap about me. Can't you go one day without my name in your mouth? You know what, you should be addicted to shutting the fuck up."

You feigned an impressed surprise but rolled your eyes, almost laughing.

"Ooh you wanna kiss me so bad you don't even know it. Makes you look so stupid."

Jeonghan paused within a heartbeat before angling his head and smirking. You were ready for something equally as dumb as his comebacks, but he reached forward for your free hand and loosely caging you in the arm of the couch. His breath circulated near yours, just like that night in his stupidly cute car.

"And what if I do?" That smile and those words were like ice and fire to your every sense. It was you who actually was unprepared.

"That, wait, you, the-the, God!" You babbled and sputtered, unable to maintain eye contact. He chuckled thickly. Jeonghan was so close.

"That should be my line!" You retorted, all thought processes going haywire and scouring the plain of your mind for something wittier to say. His wicked smile widened.

"So, you do feel the same way?" You all but gasped at the audacity you met with.

"Yes! No, wait, uh, yeah! Never!" Jeonghan failed to stifle his genuine laughter and tossed his head back. "Fine!" You then reached up, taking the collar of his jacket into your curled fist and bringing his lips down to yours.

Judging by his widened eyes, he was not expecting that, but that mattered little. You melted along with it, shutting your eyes. In the next millisecond, he brought you forward with a hand behind your head and another keeping himself upright beside your body.

As everything was, the kisses progressed to a point where you attempted to outdo the other, passionate, quick exchanges building up to shared touches.

Your other hand gripped a portion of his clothes, pulling so nebulously he all but leaned closer towards you. As the other couple had left during the minutes of your petty argument, it literally felt like the moment was offered to the two of you only, no one else.

Jeonghan cheated when he gently tugged on your hair, earning a punched out whine from your lips. He pulled away from your swollen lips to hear it, grinning once you did so.

"You jerk," you muttered hotly, red and ruddy. He smiled and moved a few strands of hair behind your ear gently.

"Y/N, what if I've been wanting to do that for a long time?" He asked, voice a bit strained. You didn't know what to do with yourself, flustered and glancing around.

"Oh," you murmured. The heat practically beat off you in waves.

"You're something else, really. I wasn't sure how long we were going to not talk to the other. I wouldn't have been able to confess and it would have been awkward." He snickered over your shoulder before regaining his proximity with you.

"Wait, so is this your confession? You suck, you're going to have do it again. C minus." He scoffed and sighed at that.

"The kiss, too?" He arched an eyebrow curiously. You slapped his shoulder at that, struggling to keep up with him.

"No, but seriously are you telling me you like me?" A much more serious tone cooled the heat of the moment, and he winced at that.

"From the moment I met you," he began and it was then you realized your facial expression was bitingly skeptical, revealing your feelings about it all. "Do you feel the same way, Y/N?"

"All that teasing and picking on me was just your stupid way of letting me know you like me?" It was Jeonghan's turn to blush from every corner of skin to the other, sighing and covering his face to cope with whatever he felt.

"It took me a while to realize it, alright?!" His tone was defensive, but you knew he meant it lightheartedly. "I just wanted you to know somehow in some way that every time I got to see you, I was grateful. Each and every time allowed me to learn more about you because you're so...you're something else. You've always complained how I don't know you or perhaps the lack of right I have to know you, I always felt I did, but I didn't want it happening for the wrong reasons. Took me a while to realize I didn't want to lose you, that I...wanted a friendship, a relationship, but the longer I sat back and continued to confuse what we had and I wanted was just going to tear us completely. So, luckily, since I'm a genius, I thought to man up about it."

You could only peer at him, letting his words simmer.

"But, if that's not what you want, or you feel uncomfortable in any way at all, just say it. Say whatever you feel." You'd never encountered this gentle tone of his. There were so many more sides to him you wanted to learn.

"I want some time..." you muttered and he nodded, visibly hanging on to your words. "For you to show me that you want me, and you know, for me to process this. I've wanted you for a while, but that voice was so quiet under all the 'I've never wanted to fight someone so bad' and the 'I'm going to implode like a star because of this guy'." You both laughed at that, and it almost felt natural to do so.

"Okay, then," Jeonghan nodded with a contented smile. There went that annoyingly hot gaze of his. So, that’s what it’s always been: hot. "Can we still make out?”

You squinted at him and opened your arms up with a sigh.

“Just kiss me already!”

#seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #ill see myself out #svt imagines #svt scenarios #jeonghan #jeonghan angst #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan fluff #seventeen x reader #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan scenarios #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #wonwoo #mingyu #Seungcheol #scoups #seventeen

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joshkiszkaenthusiast · 2 years

Note

Can you do one where Sammy or Jake plans on proposing and has been kind of distant due to planning and trying not to give it away and so the reader feels like they did something wrong and decides to break it off before he could propose?

Oh, get ready for pain my loves. I am absolutely gonna destroy y'all.

Warnings: Heartbreak, sadness, loneliness, yelling, supposed cheating, mentions substance abuse (Alcohol, weed, and vaping). These aren't really warnings but you know what I mean. Also you know it's gonna hurt when I start listening to Night Changes by One Direction at the end of me writing this. I do recommend putting on All I Want by Kodaline on repeat while reading this.

Sammy had been distant from you lately, your heart broke with what could be happening between the two of you. Your mind raced to every horrible thing that he could be doing. Your mind always went back to cheating. You had heard the rumors and seen where people supposedly had proof, but something in your heart was trying to say that it wasn't true.

Meanwhile, Sammy was with his brothers, freaking out. He was getting ready to propose to you, wanting everything to be perfect. Sure he shouldn't have distanced himself like this but he wanted it to be a surprise. Jake was trying to find places to have Sammy propose. Looking at hiking trails and mountain areas. Sammy being the bratty kid he is wasn't working well with his older brothers and his best friend.

He was so excited to finally propose to you. The thought of you being his wife for the rest of his life was everything he could wish for. He didn't want the place that he was going to propose to you to be mundane or unworthy of your grace.

"Sam, buddy, you have to help us out man. You're being picky yet not helping us by telling us what you want from us for this place. Hell, propose at the mountains you asked her to be your girlfriend at."

Josh stood in front of his brother, with a hand on his hip. His face was full of disapproval of how Sam was acting. However, Sam just brushed him off and kept searching around. Pulling out his phone to start searching up places to possibly propose to you. Meanwhile, you're on the couch of your shared house with your best friend sitting next to you.

"Y/n...you have to try to talk to him. I know you don't want to start anything but you're in this state of anxiety and horrified. This boy is the love of your life and yet here you are just sitting here crying because you refuse to talk to him."

You just looked at them and slid your phone over to them. Watching them pick up the phone; the supposed proof of him cheating in front of their face. In reality, the pictures were him talking to friends trying to figure out how to ask you out, how to be the perfect one for you, what kind of rings you like, what metal rings you like most, where you like to go to relax and get away from the world and reconnect the most. It wasn't him cheating, it was him trying to keep you in his life.

With a ring in his pocket, love in his heart, and a wide smile on his face, Sam had finally found the perfect place. One of the trails that you both would hike regularly had a beautiful waterfall. He knew that this was a perfect place for him to ask you to be his wife. A beautiful girl deserves to be proposed to in front of one of the most beautiful things in nature.

Y/bf/n just looked at the phone, mouth wide open as they look at the images, shocked at what is happening. "You need to break up with him. I know you love him but he's not being faithful or loving to you. I don't care how long you two have been together, you need to get him out of your life."

They were right, you were in a one-sided love clearly. If he wasn't going to be faithful or at least be a man about it and break up with you if he wasn't happy or he just didn't want to be with you, then you needed to do it. Scrolling to his contact, thumb hovering over his number, not wanting to press it. Y/bf/n, getting sick of your shit, grabbed the phone and dialed his number. Pushing the cheating narrative even farther; Sam wasn't able to get great service while on the trail.

However, Sam received the call, answering it but the call almost immediately dropped, struggling to find service again. Tears welled up in your eyes, hands covering your mouth, wailing. The man you've loved for years on end just thrown in the trash. Sam never thought anything of it, heading back with his brothers and best friend, back to the house to grab you to take along.

Y/bf/n held you in their arms, letting you cry and let out all the repressed feelings that were bottled up and overflowing. Screams and sobs filled the dense air that hung in the room. A knock on the door, breaking the moment. On the other side of the door stood Sam, dressed up with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. A giddy look on his face, ready to make you his forever. Y/bf/n got up, letting their hand linger on your shoulder before walking over to the door and opening it. Of course, Sam could have just walked into the home but he wanted to make a grand gesture. Seeing the third car in the driveway, knowing that it's your best friends, hoping that they would come along and be a part of the event.

"Oh...It's you. What do you want? Haven't you already caused enough damage to her heart as it is?" Sam, unknowing to the extent that the rumors had gotten, stood there with a look on his face, confused and upset already.

"Y/bf/n please...just let me talk to him. At the end of the day, this is my battle." They nodded and backed up, making their way to the kitchen. You made your way over to Sam, wiping away tears and crossing your arms. Shouldn't you be out with one of your little side pieces?"

Sam was getting increasingly more and more confused. His entire day having been flipped upside down from what it had started out to be. Trying to find the words to say.

"Mama...I have no idea what you're talking about. I've been out with the boys all day and I know that sounds like a shitty excuse but it's true. They're in the car right now."

"That might be true for today but what about for the other nights? Huh? What about all those girls that you've been caught with? How can you explain them?"

Sam started to get more and more upset, anger starting to take over the sadness. "Y/n I again have no idea what you're talking about. You're making no sense. What have I done to make you feel and think this way?"

The tears filled your eyes again, threatening to spill over again. All you wanted to do was hit him and make him explain why he wanted to hurt you like this. Sam made his way into the house, ignoring y/bf/n yelling at him to get out.

"Shut up y/bf/n honest to god I don't want to hear your incessant yelling right now. I'd like to be left alone with my girlfriend if you don't mind." You could feel this pressure in your chest rising.

"Ex...girlfriend. I can't be with you anymore if you're going to be cheating every night with no respect for me. I know here lately you've been out a lot more and talking to me less. You don't have to tell me that you don't love me anymore. I can clearly see that. If you didn't want to be with me anymore you could have just said that. You didn't have to keep stringing me along like a little puppet."

The words just exploded out of you, you didn't know what happened. It was almost as if something took over your body and just forced you to say it. Sam, upon hearing you correct him to "ex-girlfriend", made his heart drop. Did you just not love him anymore? Is this why you were lashing out like this? Did you make yourself believe this narrative because you needed a reason to get out of the relationship? His mind was racing back to all the shit that went down with Joy. Now the tears were welling up in his eyes.

You could see the tears threaten to fall from his own eyes as you just stared at him speechless. He was really standing in front of you about to give you tears after you just outed him.

"Y/n please...what did I do? You know I would never cheat on you. You're everything to me. You've always been everything to me. You were always there for me after my relationship with Joy ended."

Meanwhile, the boys in the car were wondering what was going on. You both should have been out by now. He was just going to pick you up. You just looked down and held out a hand as soon as Sam tried to get closer to you. His arms dropped, defenseless as he looked at y/bf/n, angry at them for whatever idea they put into your head. Sam dropped the flowers and turned around, heading back out to the car with the rest of the boys.

"Let me know when you're ready for me to come and get my stuff and if you want to talk y/n."

You just nodded, closing the door behind him, dropping to your knees, screaming and wailing again. Through the door, Sam flinched, wanting to run back in there and force you to tell him what was going on. He wanted to hold you and rock you, tell you that everything was going to be okay. However, with what just happened he knew better than to go back in there.

Through the windows of the car, the boys looked at Sam with sad eyes, confused as to why he didn't come back with you in hand all smiling and happy.

"Sammy...what happened? Is she sick? What's wrong?" Josh in the driver's seat poked and prodded at him trying to get him to spill what had just happened in the once happy home.

Sam just got in the car and stayed quiet. That was unusual for Sam. He always had something to say but for once he was speechless. He knew that if he had tried to explain that, he would break down in front of them.

In the house, you just kept kneeling on the ground, looking at the flowers that Sam was bringing to you. Hearing the car drive off from your house, slowly crawling over to them. Your shaking hands picking them up. They were your favorite flower. Sam always knew that you hated flowers but these were the exception. They always brought you joy when he would bring them home. He'd give you a kiss on the top of your head and tell you how much he missed you that day and how much he loves you. Not once did it give you doubt that he was cheating. Maybe it was all a distraction so you wouldn't suspect that he was cheating.

Your phone dinged and your attention was diverted to the device on the couch. Standing up and making sure that you were steady, you walked over to the couch, picking it up and looking to see who had tried to get a hold of you. Opening it to the texts seeing that the boys had texted you.

Danny the Dog: Y/n I don't know what happened in that house but whatever it was, Sam is manic and screaming in the car. Frankly, I don't care what happened, you just need to start explaining.

Tambo Man: Hey y/n you need to call us and help us understand what the fuck is going on.

Guitar Fucker: What the fuck did you do? Sam is freaking the fuck out. Call us!

You threw the phone against the couch again. Head hanging low as you looked at y/bf/n, pointing to the door. You just wanted to be left alone in a house that no longer felt like home. They left with no fight, closing the door gently, getting in their car, and driving home. You just stood there. Everything that you loved and knew for the past, god knows how many, years was just gone.

"How could I have let this just happen? How could I just let him cheat on me and then just let him leave like that?" You started to ramble to yourself.

Heart heavy and throat ripped raw, you just shuffled to the bedroom, flopping down on the bed. Your face shoved into the pillow. Everything just hurt and you couldn't stop it from hurting. Slowly you started to fall asleep, tears staining your pillow, holding Sam's pillow close to your chest. You were even wearing one of his shirts, another one of his shirts on the pillow. You were hurt that he could hurt you like this but at the same time, you missed him. You missed his smile, the way his eyes would light up looking at you, the way that he smelled, the way that he would hold you close and tell you everything that he loved about you even if he had told you the same things the night before.

3 Years Later

Three years ago today was when you broke up with Sam, unable to get over it. He had come by and gotten all his stuff and you just wanted to kiss him. You wanted to grab his stupid face and kiss him. Yet your heart and your body wouldn't let you.

Little did you know that Sam never got over you either. Every night he cried wishing that there was something that he could have done to just make you stay. You didn't have any of his clothes to sleep with anymore and he didn't have the bear that you gave him to take on tour so he had a little piece of you to sleep with on the bus. It was getting harder to actually get out of the house and actually function. Everything you saw just reminded you of Sam and frankly, you didn't know what you could do to get him out of your mind. Literally, everything that you saw triggered a memory with Sam.

Nevertheless, you persisted; walking down the streets trying to clear your head. You had another dream about him again and you woke up crying. You couldn't really remember what the dream was about. However, in the midst of your thinking, you ran into the back of some guy. Immediately, your head perked up and you started apologizing immediately. The back of the man looked exactly like Sam...it couldn't be. He was long gone and probably with his brothers. The man turned around and in an instant, your life fell apart again.

"Hey, it's okay. Here let me...y/n...it's you. What are you doing here?" His voice was soft and just like you remember it. Full of life and love, however, his face was pale and he looked like he hadn't been sleeping.

"Sam, are you okay? You look awful."

He just chuckled and gave a soft smile. The look said it all. You had seen it before when he was on tour and not able to sleep in the same bed as you. He had gotten so adjusted to sleeping in the same bed as you that now he can't go to sleep unless he can feel you next to him. He craved your touch and he craved you trying to get closer to him even though you were already on top of him.

Sam couldn't control himself anymore, let his body take go on autopilot. He just fell forward basically and enveloped you in a giant hug. You just stood there for a moment, what were you supposed to do? You had already lost Sam, you lost the twins, you lost Danny, you lost y/bf/n because you found out that she started some of those cheating rumors to get you two separated and try to wiggle their way into being your partner. You were drinking almost every night, constantly high and smoking weed, hell you even started vaping again even after you promised your little brother that you wouldn't start after quitting. You were a mess. The consistent intake of alcohol was starting to fuck up your life. You couldn't feel any kind of happiness unless you were drinking and smoking.

Sam wasn't stupid, he could see it in your eyes that you were worse than him. He just wasn't sleeping but you...you were almost killing your body. You were slowly damaging yourself to the point that you weren't able to think straight.

"Well, how have you been? Do you have someone new in your life?" He had eventually let you go, looking at your withering figure standing in front of him.

Looking at him with eyes that couldn't lie, you decided that you needed to tell him the truth.

"I'm not good Sam. I'm awful. I have no one, I'm alone in a giant house that is quiet all too often. I keep dreaming about you and I can't stop. I'm drinking myself to drowning and I'm smoking so much that I can't function unless I'm stupidly high. I'm fucking up my lungs, my liver, and my mental health all because I listened to someone I used to call my best friend. You never cheated did you?"

Sam sighed and shook his head, holding your hands in his. "I never did. I never even thought about it. You were my everything and if I'm honest you still are. I still look at your Instagram hoping that you post something so I can see your gorgeous face still."

You simply looked at him with a concerned heart. He let go of your hands and just leaned down some to be eye to eye with you.

“Y/n please can we start over? Start from the very beginning.”

You stood there thinking for a moment, eventually agreeing. Sam being the jokester he is, turned around so his back was to you. Spinning back around he gasped and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Hey I’m Sam Kiszka. You’re y/n right. We went to school together. I don’t know if you remember me or if you even knew who I was or am. You look absolutely stunning and I’d love to take you out to dinner if you’re not doing anything tonight.”

A laugh erupted out of you, nodding, taking his hand in yours.

“How abiut we do lunch since I’m free right now and we’re both already here.”

Sam nodded, taking your hand in his. Beginning anew with the relationship. Beginning again without the rumors or with people trying to slip in between the two of you.

After lunch filled with laughs and smiles and sly touches, you flopped back onto your bed, giggly as ever. Your phone pinged next to you, a look on your face of curiosity picking it up to look at it. Seeing a text from Sam.

Handsome Boy: Hey I had a great time today. I’m glad we’re trying this again. I missed you so much. Look outside your door for a little surprise.

Getting up and walking to your door, seeing a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates sitting on your doorstep. The note on the card said.

I never forgot your favorite flower or your favorite chocolates. I couldn’t go a day without think of you when I saw em.

Love Sammy Boy

Your lips curled into a smile and you picked the up placing them on the table, shooting back a simple “I never had a doubt in my mind you forgot.”

Okay wow that was longer than I originally wanted it to be. I really didn’t want it to be that long of a story or that sad of a story but fuck it here we are man. I hope y’all liked it since I put a lot of effort into it.

#greta van fleet #gretavanfleet #gvf #jake kiszka #jake kiszka gvf #josh kiszka #joshua kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #danielwagner #samuelkiszka #sam kiszka imagines #sadness

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stxvercgersslut · 4 years

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omg could you do a Chris Evans x Toddler!Reader where he’s her stepdad and readers dad is always ‘to busy’ to see her and she’s really disappointed so readers mom & Chris comfort her🥺

A/n: YESSS!!!! Omg I love this I love this I love this!!!! It’s actually the cutest ask I’ve gotten 😭❤️ I just can’t not write this! I also kinda changed it a little so that it’s just Chris comforting her sooooo I hope you like it.

Warnings: Language, dissapointmemt, a whole lot of fluff.

The one that cares

Chris hadn’t expected to fall in love as quickly as he had fell in love with Delilah. She was the love of his life from the moment that he had met her on the set of one of his latest movies. She’d only been there to visit her brother on set, yet his eyes had instantly fell on hers as soon as she walked into the room. He couldn’t just let her leave, so of course that they he had went straight up to her, talked to her, found out her name and inevitably asked her out. It was a quick cycle done in around 10 minutes of meeting her, but Chris couldnt have been happier. This type of love was real. Passionate and just over all the one thing that he had been searching for his entire life. Delilah was it for him the second he’d met her.

Around 2 months into dating Chris had been introduced to you, this small 2 year old little girl with a hug smile on your face the second you’d met him. It was like an instant connection from the beginning. Of course it had taken you a few weeks to get used to him being around. But after a while you finally began to enjoy Chris’s company. Especially since he was round at the house almost every single day to visit your mother.

After around a year later Chris proposed to your mother and on your 4th birthday, the they got married. It was more of a celebration for you then it was for them. Especially since It was practically your birthday present. You’d been so excited. Chris could remeber how happy you had been that day, standing right next to your mother and giggling happily during the actual wedding. He’d even picked you up and held you in his arms during your mother’s vows. Wanting to keep you as involved with this wedding as physically possible. It was clear from the beginning that Chris loved you as if you were his own. Which was what drew Delilah to him.

Finally a father figure. Not that you didn’t have a dad, but Chris was around a whole lot more then your asshole of a dad was. And that in itself just wasn’t fair.

Josh, your biological father, had been pretty much out of the picture since you were 2. Only occasionally being able to see you since he always claimed that he was ‘busy’ when he was usually out at some bar making out with any random women that would throw themselves that him. It was clear from the start that Josh didn’t give the tiniest shit about you, or even the fact that you were his child.

Even when he actually bothered to show up, usually because either Chris or Delilah had forced him to actually pay attention to you and reminding him that you were just a kid, he wasn’t even there. Not really. He just sat there, didn’t even play with you, just sat their and watched as you played on your own with you teddy’s. And even then he didn’t stay too long. Clearly not liking the fact that Delilah had found happiness in an A-list celebrity.

Not only did Josh’s lack of being around for you upset you but it also Angered Chris as well as Delilah. However Chris was even more furious with Josh then the both of you combined. He hated how upset you got, how heartbroken you were when Josh just sat there or didn’t even bother to show up. But what hurt him the most was watching you sob into either his chest or your mothers chest right after being reluctantly informed that once again Josh wasn’t coming. To see your excited little face switch so quickly into one of pain and heartbreak was enough to completely piss Chris off to the point where he wanted to actually beat the shit out of Josh.

Today, for example, was once again one of the days that Chris always dreaded. Today had been the day that Josh was finally supposed to come over and spend some time with you, after 3 whole months of not seeing you he was finally coming over. Yet 5 minutes before he was actually supposed to be there he called. Of course he did.

Chris groaned as he looked towards you before back to his phone “sorry sweetheart, I’ll be back in a second” he announced before finally leaving the room after kissing your head gently. Despite all the disappointment you were still excited to see Josh. Of course you were. Diliah wasn’t there today, in fact she was working today so it was just him. Thankfully Chris got the day off so that he could be there for you when the inevitable happened.

“Hello?” He began, not even giving him a chance to speak “Josh where the fuck are you? You’re supposed to be here in 5 fucking minutes” Chris spoke not giving a shit that he was being rude, Josh didn’t deserve the nice side to Chris. Not at all.

“Yeah.....about that....My work called me a few minutes ago and said that I need to go in. Something about needing extra staff today” yet another excuse! This man was truely an asshole.

“BULLSHIT!” Chris spat, venom seeping from his words as he did. Now he was pissed. “It’s not bullshit man! I have work!” Josh lied. Usually if this happened then Delilah would be there to take the phone away from him before he said something that would ruin the entire ‘agreement’ but today she wasn’t there to stop him, so he was free to say whatever he wanted. Within reason of course.

“Listen you asshole!” He began, suddenly becoming insanely aware of the fact that he was being too loud. Almost startling you. “We both know that you don’t have to work today!” Now he was a little quieter “and we both know you’re just going to go to a bar or a strip club! You’re an asshole and all you want is to fuck with y/n’s mind! She’s an innocent child who fucking loved you no matter what yet you don’t even care about her?!? What kind of parent are you? Dads should be there for their kids but you don’t even care about her!” This wasn’t Chris talking, this was the anger that had finally been allowed out.

“What?!? First of all You have no right to say any of that! And second of all yes I do care about her! I’m just busy!” He defended, still doing a shitty job at it.

“No you don’t! You don’t give a shit!” Chris yelled angrily, not caring for any more of his bullshit, so he hung up. Now completely stressed about the fact that he had to go and break your heart again. Oh this was going to hurt a whole lot more then usual.

After a good 2 minutes of mentally preparing himself for the heartache, Chris finally walked back to the front room where you were still happily colouring in a drawing that you had made for Josh. Little did you know Josh never took those drawings, Chris was always the one to take them and hide them in his room since your biological father always ‘forgot’ the pictures. Chris just wanted to spare your feelings that’s all. Didn’t want to add anymore heartache into the mix of disappointment.

Quickly Chris sat down on the couch opposite you. Watching you for a few moments before finally speaking“Hey babygirl, can you come sit with me for a minute please?” He asked carefully, to which you instantly stood up and wandered over to him with a cute little wiggle to your step since you were excited. Soon climbing up onto the couch and getting onto his lap like usual which he never actually seemed to mind since it meant that you felt comfortable around him. “What’s wrong Daddy?” You asked, already seeing the lines of fear registering in his features as he began to think. Every single day he thanked the gods above that you’d accepted him into the family.

“Your real dads not coming today” rip the bandage of as quick as physically possible. If he did that then he’d have more time to comfort you if needed. God this was going to be so hard “.....I know you really wanted to see him today but he got really busy.....baby I’m so sorry that he did this to you and it’s so not fair at all” he stated. Watching as your bright e/c gorgous eyes dissapeared and were once again replaced with disappointment. On what world was any of this not heartbreaking to see? Exactly it was devastating. Especially when he loved you so much.

“My dads......not coming?” You asked, pain already beginning to seap into your voice.

“No baby.....I’m so sorry...” he spoke, his voice already breaking and tears already forming in his eyes. How could someone be so cruel to someone so kindhearted?

“But he.....he said he would......” you stutter. That in itself was enough to cause tears to spill from Chris’s eyes. Never had he ever thought that you’d get this heartbroken over being disappointed. After so many disappointments he would have thought that you would have gotten used it already.

“I know I know....but he’s done this before sweetheart.....he’s known for it.”

It unfortunately didn’t take long for you to break down into floods of tears, already beginning to break Chris’s heart even more then he ever thought that it could. You were worse then heartbroken, in fact you were devastated.

He couldn’t take it anymore, seeing you so broken was hurting him. So before you knew it he was picking you up and literally placing you on his hip so you wer closer to him. No way was he letting you just wallow in self pity. Not when your birthday was in 3 days. You were so close to being 5! How could he just leave you to cry on your birthday weekend. Exactly he couldn’t. “Okay baby It’s so close to your birthday and I’m not letting you be sad! So what do you wanna do? It’s your weekend starting now, so what do you wanna do?” He asked, hopeful that giving you the option of what to do would perk you up a little. Yet you just continued to cry into his shoulder, extremely angry, upset and scared with everything that had gone wrong today.

“It’s okay....it’s okay sweetheart just cry..let it all out.” He soothed, rubbing your back reassuringly as he did “Daddy’s here. I’m never gonna leave you sweetheart. I promise you I’m not going anywhere unless I have to. But I’ll always come back okay? I will always come back”

But thankfully, after 20 minutes of just rocking you in his arms and softly humming along to the words of your favourite Disney songs (being a big fan of Disney had its perks of course) you finally stopped crying. Now completely registering what Chris has asked you a few moments ago. “C.....can we go....to Disney land?” You asked quietly, afraid that you’d get shot down.

This was a big ask from you, one that Chris should have Beene expecting! Especially since you’d wanted to go to Disney land for so long yet you’d always been knocked back. Although, today was different. Today Chris has given you free rain on whatever you wanted to do today. So how could he disappoint and tell you no? “Hmmmm okay sweetheart Disney land it is! Just me and you? Or do you want me to ask mommy if she wants to come too?” He questioned, literally just letting you make all the decisions today since he’d said it was your day. If this was how he would get you to calm down completely then so be it. To avoid having any fans spotting him he’d have to make a few phone calls, maybe see if he could use a private jet in order to make sure you weren’t see. Especially since your were his step-daughter and thankfully not one knew about you just yet. He’d been able to keep you out of the public eye.

“Mommy’s working, just you and me” you spoke, for a four year old you were learning quickly which made him quite happy to know you were learning. “Alright sweetheart then lets go.” He spoke.

And that day he stayed true to his word.

Tag list: @jtargaryen18 @et-lesailes @chuckbass-love @cevans-fics

#this is so wholesome!!! I can’t not 🥺😭#chris evans #chris evans cute #chris evans hot #daddy! chris evans #chris evans and dodger #his laugh though 🥺#chris evans sexy #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans characters #Step dad! Chris x Toddler! reader

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gustingirl · 2 years

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111. "You shouldn’t have even been there!”

112. "You weren’t supposed to hear that.” With josh plz

hi!! ok i just finished it and let me tell you, it's sad as fuck. you have been warned :)

warnings: mentions of sexual acts, graphic vocabulary

feel free to request more!

A few days ago you read a post somewhere on the internet that said: “intuition doesn’t speak in a mean or fearful voice”. The single sentence resonated a lot inside your head since then. It felt correct, but at the same time it didn’t. The reason why? Your own intuition only sounded full of fear. And that was only fear of being right. We never listen to our intuition when it’s about something we like. It only yells inside your head when it notices something bad happening. The nightmare going on, the one we work so hard on ignoring. But it doesn’t matter how hard we work, that voice of intuition inside our head works even harder, and soon it wins.

Maybe the yelling from your intuition is not always bad, but it doesn’t feel good when it’s about your boyfriend. You trusted Josh with your whole life and heart, and he had never given you, not even once, a reason to doubt his love. He was always the devoted one, the most romantic of the relationship. It even felt like you didn’t deserve such a man by your side. However, Josh always made sure you knew he loved you so much and that nothing was going to change that.

Though at first you believed it, with the years the doubt did show up. They say it’s common with long term relationships. Everybody around you commented how one can become insecure with time, as you relax in the relationship and begin ignoring things happening around. But you always believed everything was different with Josh. The fairytale romance you were sure you had was slowly turning into the harsh reality that your relationship was.

It had been years since you and Josh began dating. And with years I mean you began dating this rockstar when he was just a theatre kid at high school. You get why I say this relationship was different? It had been years, centuries almost, since you began dating. It made it to the point that you two lost count of the years you had been together. You had the privilege of watching Josh become the star he was meant to be, though you never expected to come in the hands of his brother’s dream of having his own rock band. However, you supported Josh with everything he wanted and that was never going to change.

To be fair with you, your intuition was not something that started crying from one day to the other. It was awakened by a comment Jake had made one day with you.

“But come on, Y/N, men are like that! We get tired of the same shit every day!”

You were sure Jake never intended to say it like that, as you watched his smile disappear slowly, and regret showing up right away. Your expression changed too, and that horrible insecurity kicked in.

“What do you mean by that?” you hesitated to ask, though you did. Jake stumbled on his words as he tried to change the topic.

He did, eventually. The new topic made you forget, only temporarily, about your brother-in-law’s comment. But those words kept ringing inside your head for a while. You tried, anyways, to believe there could be exceptions to the rule. It’s not like he shared some kind of scientific fact or something. Nothing was proven, and you stood by that.

Little did you know, Jake’s comment was not random, and he had a plan all along. There was something that had been bugging him for a while. His own intuition was working on him, and his suspicions were not letting him rest. There was something odd coming from Josh, something he obviously could sense from his twin. He wasn’t being his usual self, and he feared that his twin could possibly be faking it around his high school sweetheart. He loved and adored his brother, but he wasn’t dumb. He knew that, if he ever did something wrong, Josh would call him out.

His plan was working as your intuition woke up with that comment and didn’t let you rest for days. All sorts of signs suddenly started showing up. You counted the amount of days that had passed since the last time you and Josh fucked, and the number wasn’t normal in your relationship. There were other factors that made you question everything, but your intuition was guiding you somewhere else. It was there, the sexual activity was the source. That voice inside your head would not shut up about it. And, for better or for worse, it finally did shut up, but only when it was proven that your intuition was right.

You found yourself one night sitting alone at the waiting room of some venue in the middle of nowhere. Like always, you were right by Josh’s side during every single tour, concert and performance. And as part of the routine, you were waiting for your boyfriend to come off stage to see you. However, you were now sitting alone with your phone in hand and legs kicking around as there were no signs of the band joining you.

It had been like two hours of you waiting like a fool for something, anything, yet only silence filled the room. Your intuition, however, was louder than ever. You truly couldn’t shut it up. It sounded like a child making a scene to get an ice cream cone. For the first time, however, you felt like listening to that child. It was the only way you could think of to silence that voice. So, with determination to get some peace, though your mind was not at peace, you stood up and left the room to wander around the hallways, looking for your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, your quest had no results, as the band was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, the empty hallway was filled for a second by the sound of a messaging arriving. You checked it instantly, expecting words from your beloved boyfriend. Your excitement was soon gone when you read Jake’s name, alongside his message.

from thing number 2: “i’m cold as fuck, could you bring me a jacket? i’m at the rooftop”

For some reason, you didn’t move. Your intuition wouldn’t let you, though. It kept reading the message over and over again, feeling like there was something going on with it. As you were determined to listen to that voice for once, you went back to the waiting room to grab Jake’s jacket and, as quickly, walked towards the stairs that lead to the rooftop.

That annoying voice started sounding each time lower, but the knot growing in your stomach was becoming too painful to go unnoticed. It kept getting tighter and tighter as you climbed the last stairs. You expected to hear a voice, but many more were speaking at the same time. Voices you knew too damn well, especially one. The latter was loud as usual, and though it never bothered you, it was now being a curse. You opened the rooftop’s door with an unknown fear inside. There was a wall covering you from seeing the boys and you started walking towards them.

You froze in your place when you heard it.

“No, man, she sucked so fucking well. I hadn’t been sucked like that in a fucking long time, I even forgot what an orgasm felt like! No seriously, I should have done this earlier”

You never realized tears were rolling down your face with speed. You could only make little steps towards the crowd of four, the one which never noticed your presence. One guy did, though, but you were too blind to notice. The pain was blinding you, yet you could only get closer. Now the voice inside your head was silent, but nothing inside you was at peace.

“Man, if Y/N finds out, you’re dead” Sam commented, almost with joy, gaining a nod from Danny. The fact he was being supported was killing you even more.

“She never will, don’t worry” Josh’s calmed tone felt like the last straw. You couldn’t hold it anymore

“She did, you fucker” you spoke with the most harsh tone you could find, which was enough to make your boyfriend turn around quickly

“Y/N…?” that calm tone was gone in a second, and his face was paler than ever.

There was so much you wanted to say but the need to run away was stronger. Like you were doing that day, you listened to that need and you quickly abandoned the rooftop, with fat tears rolling down your face and a million horrible knots invading your body.

Right behind you ran Josh, faster than ever before. He called your name a million times, and didn’t stop until he beat you at the race by holding you by the arm.

“Y/N, let me explain! You weren’t supposed to hear that!” Josh cried out as he tried holding you. He failed as you pushed him away with all the strength you had.

“You fucking son of a bitch, that’s what you’re concerned about!? You cheated on me and you’re concerned about me not being supposed to hear that!? Are you really that fucking ignorant!?” you were a crying mess, a really angry one. Josh gulped before shaking his head.

“No, but please let me explain” he tried calming you down by using a calm tone again, but it was too late

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” you yelled back, raising your hand for a second in an attempt to slap him. You quickly shoved it down, knowing you were better than that.

“Babe, please. I was going to tell you, I swear I was. I needed to be ready, you shouldn’t have heard that, you shouldn’t have even been there!”

You would have thought the sight of Josh crying uncontrollably would have changed anything, but the images of him being with someone else were burning your mind. You needed to leave that place.

“I heard you loud and clear” your tone was now calm as he wanted, though not for the same reasons. You raised your hands to make the gesture of quotation marks “ ‘she will never find out, don’t worry’. You just keep lying to me, how could you even-” you tried to speak but the knot in your throat was too painful to ignore and it wouldn’t allow you to even think about what to say. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath and stared at him with nothing but pure loath. “I don’t ever wanna see your fucking face again. Get fucked…oh wait, you probably already did” you giggled sadly before turning around and walking away.

Josh stayed still for a while, never once realizing the rest of the band had been watching the scene take place. Tears wouldn’t stop coming off his eyes though his stare was lost in nothing.

“She wasn’t supposed to be there” he muttered, though not low enough, as everybody else could hear “What was she doing there?”

“I called her” Jake suddenly spoke, for the first time since the band had arrived at the rooftop. His faked smile was gone within seconds and annoyance replaced it.

Josh quickly turned around, his sadness and guilt now being mixed with the feeling of betrayal.

“You did what?” he wanted to sound angrier, but his voice would only come out low. Josh watched as his twin pushed him aside and kneeled down to pick up the jacket you had brought him and had previously thrown to the floor while screaming at your now ex-boyfriend.

“I told her to come,” Jake replied without changing his tone. He sounded like normal, though anger was evident on his face “You thought you could cheat on your all time girlfriend and get away with it? You fucked up, Josh, big time now. You lost the most important person in your life for a fucking blowjob. And I want to believe that was all” he took a deep breath before finishing “I know for a fact that you would have done the same for me. You have morals and you wouldn’t let someone I care for suffer because of my actions…You should have thought about it before you fucked up your life”

With the last word being spoken, Jake followed your exact moves, abandoning his brothers and bandmates behind. Sam and Danny were clueless as to what to do, never once expecting Jake’s actions. Josh, as obvious, was clueless as well. He had no idea at all of what to do next. But there was one thing that he was sure of, and it was that Jake was totally wrong. Josh didn’t just fuck up his life.

He had just fucked up your whole life.

#greta van fleet #gvf #.gvftxt #josh kiszka #online job #josh kiszka x reader #greta van fleet fic #greta van fleet x reader

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